#This penalty was also questionable but refs are going to ref

[mooseheads]

The Avs remain undefeated after beating the Canes 6-4 this past Saturday. With their 5-0 record, Avs are #1 in the Central Division and Western Conference. Go Avs Go!

[tikitakatia]

Louvre — A. Putellas x Reader

WC: 2k

Summary: Alexia wasn’t supposed to enjoy the museum tour, but somehow, she finds herself booking another one.

Alexia was already plotting her escape.

She’d barely stepped out of the Olympic village before regretting every decision that led her here. Not to Paris, not to the Olympics, but to this detour. Her teammates, running on impulse and questionable group logic, decided that they just had to visit the Louvre today, specifically the Egyptian wing. Apparently, team bonding now involves learning about mummification techniques. She supposes it might come in handy the next time the refs let a clear penalty slide.

Jenni was practically bouncing like a child that was fed too much sugar. Misa, who´s now fully immersed in her TikTok influencer era, was narrating every step like it was meant to be a viral trend. Irene and Laia had been arguing for ten straight minutes over whether ancient Egyptians worshipped cats or just really liked them. Alexia, meanwhile, was weighing her options: fake an emergency, claim sudden heat exhaustion, or just disappear quietly and hope no one noticed until she was already at the beach volleyball courts. Anything to escape another hour of 'team bonding.'

And that’s how you meet her.

You.

The tour guide. Underpaid, over-caffeinated, and radiating the kind of forced enthusiasm usually reserved for theme park employees in August. You spot them immediately, voice slightly too loud, smile a little too tight and donning Olympic gear acting like it makes them blend in. It doesn’t.

But then there’s her.

Leaning against a wall like it's personally inconveniencing her, arms folded with precision, brow set in a permanent state of "don’t even try me." She's wearing sunglasses indoors, not the oversized fashion kind, but the 'I’ve made a conscious decision to block all of this out' kind. You can’t tell if she's a chaperone, a coach, or just someone who took a wrong turn and is now emotionally trapped in the Egyptian wing. She doesn't speak, doesn't move, and yet somehow broadcasts a full essay titled I Would Rather Be Literally Anywhere Else.

You recognize that look. You’ve seen it on grumpy dads stuck at brunch, teenagers at family reunions, and one duchess at a ribbon-cutting ceremony who clearly wanted to set the building on fire. Whoever she is, she looked like she was more interested in being a mummy than learning about one.

“Welcome to the Louvre!" you announce, voice a little too bright, in that tone that screams, I am seconds away from losing it, but I’m smiling through the existential crisis anyway. You quickly scan their name tags and IDs to familiarize yourself, then your eyes land on the bored-looking blonde in sunglasses like a magnet. You read her nametag, Alexia, and give her another look. This is going to be a fun tour.

You kick off the tour in the section which also happèns to be your comfort zone. Not because you’re obsessed with mummies or anything, but because, let’s face it, the statues can’t talk back. And thank God for that, because if they could, they’d probably ask you the same stupid questions a thousand times a day. You launch into your usual spiel about the Rosetta Stone replica, spewing out facts you’ve memorized so well you’re pretty sure they’ve been burned into your DNA at this point. It's automatic. It's almost robotic. But hey, it’s a job. And you’re doing it.

But then you glance at her again. There she is in the back, looking like she was about to fall asleep on her feet. And then, just to top it off, you swear she yawns, and not just a casual yawn. No, no. It’s an audacious yawn. A yawn so big it could eclipse the entire museum´s collection, making you wonder if maybe she's part of some secret society of people who can’t be impressed by 3,000-year-old artifacts. The audacity of this woman.

You’re speechless for a second, standing there in utter disbelief, but you quickly recover.

Cool. Challenge accepted.

You lower your voice, just enough so only Alexia can hear. "This," you say, pointing to a funerary mask, "is believed to have been worn by ancient Egyptians to help hide their resting bitch face better than sunglasses."

Alexia’s eyebrows twitch slightly, like she's trying to hold back a smile. But as if in a last-ditch attempt to remain emotionally unaffected, she shoots you a look over her shades like you just told her the pyramids were built by camels.

You go on, unphased. "And this one here? The Anubis statue? Guardian of the afterlife. Also the first to popularize the smokey eye."

This time, she snorts.

"What was that?" Irene turns to look at her.

"Nothing," Alexia mutters, smoothing her face, her tone trying to hide the crack in her defenses.

You keep walking, dropping facts with the precision of someone who’s learned to keep this whole ‘tour guide’ thing going while simultaneously amusing themselves. Each one is aimed only at Alexia, like a game where the only rule is you have to try not to laugh.

"This papyrus scroll here? Early tax evasion forms."

"The sarcophagus? Absolutely cursed. By bad interior design."

"This entire wing? Sponsored by ancient trauma."

Each remark is met with an involuntary sound from Alexia. A laugh under her breath, an incredulous look, but she’s fighting it. Or at least, she’s trying to.

When you finally stop in front of the cat goddess Bastet, you can tell her teammates are trying to drag her out. You let them get just far enough away before you drop your next fact.

She’s still hovering, clearly trying to pull her composure together. "She protected households," you say, low again, "and invented knocking things off tables for sport."

Alexia glares at you, still fighting a smile. You can see she’s getting close to breaking so you point to a bunch of hieroglyphs on the wall.

You lean in, voice dropping just enough for her to hear. "And this one right here? Says ‘send nudes.’"

This time, there’s no stopping it. Alexia bursts into laughter, a loud, uncontrollable laugh that echoes through the room. Her teammates freeze, turning around to stare at her like she’s suddenly grown a second head.

"Alexia?" Jenni calls out, blinking in confusion.

Alexia just shakes her head, still laughing. "Nothing," she says, but the smile on her face gives her away.

Her teammates look confused, but you can see Alexia's walls crumbling. Her laughter starts to die down, and as she tries to compose herself, she bites her lip and shoots you a look.

"You’re making that up," she says, still trying to act all tough, but there's no hiding the grin tugging at her lips.

"Absolutely. But you believed me for half a second," you reply, unable to resist the smug satisfaction of getting under her skin.

She gives you a crooked smile, shaking her head in resignation, then turns to follow her teammates as they finally drag her out of the exhibit.

Two days later, your inbox pings.

Private Louvre tour request. Olympic Committee. Egyptian wing. No name.

You frown. Weird. Could be anyone. Could be another team of tourists who will complain about anything under the sun. Could be your worst nightmare. Who knows?

You show up anyway.

And there she is. Leaning against a column like this is now her new second home. The others are behind her, looking like they’ve just come off a 5-day hike through the Louvre's entire collection of obscure art. Clearly, they’re not happy to be here.

"You again?" you say, with a raised eyebrow, pretending you don’t already know exactly what’s going on.

"Missed your historical slander," Alexia says, deadpan, as if this is a normal thing to say to a tour guide.

Jenni groans dramatically from the back. "She literally made us cancel lunch for this."

They look like they’re already regretting their life choices, but you’re already leading them through the Greek wing, statues galore.

You lean closer to Alexia, dropping your voice just enough so only she hears. "This guy? Zeus. Massive ego. Turned into a swan to seduce someone. Because, you know, consent was apparently optional for ancient gods."

She raises an eyebrow, completely unamused. "A swan?"

"Yeah," you say, nodding seriously. "The original bird app."

You swear you hear her snort, and it’s louder than before, like she’s giving up on pretending to be unimpressed.

The others start to notice, slowly turning their heads toward the sound.

"You’re actually enjoying this," Irene says with a gasp, pointing at Alexia in disbelief. "Last week you said museums are just fancy sleeping areas."

"Shut up," Alexia mutters under her breath, trying to hide the smile that’s clearly threatening to crack her icy exterior.

"You made fun of me for liking art," Laia adds, half-shocked, half-amused.

"Still do," Alexia says without missing a beat. "But this guide lies better than you flirt."

You cough, covering up a laugh, but it’s clear you’ve won this round.

A few days later, another anonymous booking. This time, the Renaissance wing.

Olympic Committee. No name. But you’re not even surprised anymore.

You walk in. And there she is. Again. Waiting alone.

"Just you today?" you ask, trying to sound casual, like you’re not secretly a little excited.

"They're recovering," she says, her face completely straight.

"From art?" you ask, eyebrow raised.

"From me dragging them to three tours in a week," she admits, sounding almost proud of herself.

You grin. "Addicted to my lies now?"

"Something like that."

You step into the Renaissance section, ready to drop some fresh facts on the poor souls who just so happen to be standing next to you.

"Here we have the Mona Lisa," you announce dramatically. "Famously small. Famously smug. Fun fact: she’s actually judging you for your fashion choices."

Alexia stands next to you, arms almost brushing. Her lips twitch. "She looks like she’s holding in a fart."

You turn to her, mock-shocked. "How dare you. That’s the mother of all memes right there."

You move on and she follows, clearly enjoying herself.

"This one was painted with real lapis lazuli. Extremely rare. Also the reason blue pens exist today."

"That true?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug casually. "Fifty-fifty. But it sounds good, right?"

She leans in a little closer. "Tell me more fake facts."

It keeps happening. More anonymous bookings. More sarcastic commentary. More time with her.

You start branching out. The Medieval section. The Islamic Art wing. Even the random furniture gallery.

"This chair once belonged to Napoleon. He sat on it after every failed date."

"These tiles were early prototypes for IKEA."

"This painting? Definitely haunted. But only if you yawn too loud near it."

Alexia eats it all up, each remark leaving you with the satisfaction of knowing you’ve cracked her tough exterior. Every smirk, every eye-roll you earn feels like a win.

By the sixth visit, Jenni finally confronts her.

"You realize you’ve seen more of the Louvre than the football field by now, right?"

Alexia rolls her eyes, unbothered. "It’s educational."

"You're flirting," Jenni presses, smirking.

"Shut up," Alexia says, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips. She’s not fooling anyone.

After one particularly long tour through the Islamic Art section ("This calligraphy? Probably a 600-year-old text complaining about tourists"), Alexia lingers, pretending like she’s just inspecting the exhibits.

"Do you ever get tired of walking people through here?" she asks, leaning against a display like she’s been doing this her whole life.

"Not when they make weird faces at 12th-century tiles," you respond, smirking.

"I wasn’t making a weird face," she says, defending herself.

"You looked like you were trying to decode IKEA instructions in Arabic."

She laughs, and it's full this time. No hiding it. Her shoulders shake with genuine amusement. She leans in, her voice dropping just enough for you to hear.

"Okay. So what if I said I wanted a private tour... outside the Louvre?"

You blink, half-laughing, half-confused. "Like... a date?"

She pretends to think about it, looking up at the ceiling for dramatic effect. "Let’s call it a cultural exchange."

"That sounds suspiciously like Olympic Committee phrasing," you reply, raising an eyebrow.

She shrugs, completely unphased. "I can pull strings."

You shake your head, smiling. "Fine. But only if you promise to fact-check me."

"Never. That’s half the fun," she grins.

You grin right back. "God, you’re the most stubborn museum convert I’ve ever met."

"And yet..." she steps closer, voice quiet but playful. "Your favorite."

You don’t argue.

Because she is.

[anzekopistar]

Once again the DOPS, and the league as a whole, is proving itself to be an absolute joke. This is the third time in as many years that Sam Bennett has given another player a concussion (slammed Knies' head into the ice in '23, sucker punched Marchand in '24, hit Stolarz in the head in the crease in '25) as the league continues to deny the connection between hockey and CTE. Bennett has previously been suspended twice, once for boarding and once for a hit to the head. Are you seeing a theme here?

Throwing in this quote from Brad last year for no reason

I also have no doubt that race and racism play a significant role in this. Brown and black players like Nazem Kadri and Evander Kane who play similar styles of hockey and have had equally questionable hits as Bennett have been suspended every single time, while Bennett has avoided any discipline from the Knies, Marchand, and Stolarz hits despite having been suspended twice for plays involving hits to the head. Sounds about white right

In 2019 the league invented a new type of suspension just for Kadri. After a crosscheck in Game 2 he was suspended for the rest of the first round. You read that correctly. He was not suspended for a set number of games like every single other suspension ever, he was suspended for however long the first round lasted, and at that point the series was tied 1-1 so it could have been anywhere from 3 to 5 more games.

And then we get to the Colin Campbell of it all. Executive vice president and director of hockey ops Colin Campbell's son Gregory is the AGM of the Florida Panthers. In 2010 it leaked that Colin Campbell had complained to the league about his son getting penalties, complained about the refs who gave him penalties, and claimed that Marc Savard, who drew the penalty, was a "little fake artist". In 2010 Marc Savard was blind sided by a hit to the head by Matt Cooke, which Campbell decided did not warrant any suspensions. Savard only played 25 more games before post-concussion symptoms forced him to retire.

In case you were wondering, whether or not Campbell was punished for any of this and for clearly being biased to help his son (who once again is the AGM of the Panthers) the answer is no. In fact he was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame last year.

This league is a joke, DoPS is a joke, and now that the league has once again shown that they don't care about the health and safety of their players you can expect to see this type of play more often. The league has said head shots to goalies who are in the crease is fine. That means players in all remaining series are going to make riskier plays because they know the league won't punish them. I'm willing to put money on the fact that the Leafs/Panthers series is going to get completely out of control because the league has shown that they don't care about actually keeping these players safe time and time again.

If this league had any credibility Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell, and all of the unqualified nepotism hires would be gone. But this is the best sport with the worst league, and every single player injury that is going to come because of the riskier plays that the DoPS has said are okay is on Bettman, Campbell, and DoPS

[onebourbon-oneshot-onetear]

Dating Shoresy Headcannons

Writing this because it is CRIMINAL how little Shoresy/Letterkenny content there is on this website. I go feral for this man it isn't even funny. I mean, look at his smile...

Shoresy loves cuddling. He loves to be the big spoon AND the little spoon, depending on his mood.

He’s happy? He’s the big spoon all night long, pulling you so you’re tucked under his chin and his arms are wrapped around you. 

He’s feeling kind of down? You better hold onto him. He will burrow himself in your side and wrap your own arms around him if he needs to. Bonus points if you stroke his hair without him having to ask. He’s so soft. 

Very much into casual PDA. Despite his reputation, with you he isn’t as in your face with it. He likes the small gestures with you. He’s sitting? You get pulled into his lap. Standing next to him? His arm is around your waist. He’s leaving the room? Mandatory kiss on your cheek. 

His family loves you. His adopted family is very important to him so he loves how well you get along with them. Even to the point where they give you a special nickname, just like everyone else. You go to every Shore reunion, make up dances with Kayla, and are even helping Carrie and Free plan their wedding. 

You started calling him Waffles, and as sweet as that was, once you started doing it around the team he shut that down real fast. 

Speaking of the team, they also love you. The boys are now officially your big brothers. If you need help with anything, there will be at least two of them there. Sometimes they’re helpful. Sometimes they're not. But at least they try in their own way. And if a guy looks at you the wrong way then Lord help him because he will have 8 grown men beating the hell out of him. 

With that being said, if Shoresy catches a man being disrespectful to you, it is an immediate punch being thrown. No questions asked. And if the other team is chirping about you? Shoresy will be in the penalty box for the rest of the game, no questions asked (along with half the team).

You're their unofficial nurse, patching them up after scraps, games, and helping them with the occasional hangovers. Your nurse duties include homemade ice packs, the occasional wrapped ankle, and massages, but only for Shoresy. 

As much as he talks a tough game he's such a softie. He has no problem being vulnerable with you. Talking about your future together, his stress about games, his doubts. He lays it all out for you and you are always there for him. It’s one of the things he fell for when he first met you. 

You always babysit Big Sexy when Shoresy’s out of town. She even learned to say your name. Shoresy seemed a little betrayed, but when he saw how excited you were about it he was so amused. 

You go to every one of his games. In the time you’ve known him, you don’t think you had ever missed a single one. He always said that you didn’t have to go to all of them, especially the away ones, but you know that he loved seeing you there, so you went every time. Your bum was always in a seat. Even on nights he was reffing the high school games, you were there. It always made him smile, seeing you cheer out of the corner of his eye. And if he scored a goal, he’d celebrate with his team and then give you the biggest smile. 

Even Nat saw how much you meant to him. She had always known the serious hockey player, but she hadn’t seen him be serious over a significant other like this. If he wasn’t at practice, then he was with you. If there was a lull in conversation that he couldn’t fill with hockey or a smart ass comment, he was talking about you. It was nice to see that side of him. 

You are constantly stealing his hats and his sweatshirts. They smell like him, a mix of his cologne, his mint dip, and the crisp air that always lingered from the rink. You often wore them to bed and to lounge around the house and he thought it was so sexy. He loved seeing his last name (and the 69) on your back. He would think it’s the sexiest thing you could wear, until he saw you trying on his hockey sweater. He knew he would never see a hotter sight than that. 

You make sure to always have a can of dip in your car or in your apartment for him. You don’t condone it, warning him of the dangers of cancer and stuff like that, but you knew he liked to have it on hand. He definitely tried to dip less when he was around you. 

He makes sure to tell you he loves you every day. Usually multiple times a day. He’ll even send you random texts throughout the day telling you he loves you. 

He loves it when you lay in bed and trace his tattoos with your fingers. He gets the biggest shivers but it warms his heart so much. 

Believe it or not at first he was so self conscious about his missing tooth. He always wore his denture so he didn’t scare you off, but the first time you saw him without it, you demanded he never wear it around you again. You loved his missing tooth. It was a part of him, and you thought it made his adorable smile all that much cuter. 

His chirping skills have definitely rubbed off on you. Sometimes you even surprise yourself with the things that come out of your mouth, but he just laughs, pulls you into his chest, and gives you a small kiss on your temple. The man is so proud that you are just as much of a smart ass as he is. If someone is being super rude or annoying the two of you will tag team the put downs so it can be a full ten minutes of nothing but insults and sarcasm. 

The man is a space heater. He can stand outside in the snow with absolutely no problem. Your fingers are cold, he’ll grab your hand and they’re thawed in minutes. When you have cold toes in bed, you’ll put them on his calves and in minutes they are warmed up. Even if he jumps at the sudden cold but he doesn’t really mind, as long as you are happy. 

[theweewooshow]

Okay, spreading some positivity!! And feel free to send this to other folks too 🥰 What is your goofiest BuckTommy headcanon?

🩷🩷🩷

i think even though buck isn't into playing basketball, he gets overly into watching it and other sports with tommy because tommy is knowledgeable about all the rules and explains stuff to buck when he asks questions because some of the rules make no sense to him

and it's also fun just to watch tommy having fun because sports are maybe one of the only things he gets outwardly passionate about, groaning dramatically and putting his head in his hands and pacing in the living room and yelling at the refs through the screen

and soon enough, buck is right there with him, telling the refs off for not calling something that should have been a foul or a penalty

also i think they like to go out to hockey games and basketball games and baseball games and make a little date out of it, making bets about who's gonna score, who's gonna get the first penalty, etc. and the prize is always kisses, so they both win no matter what <3

[trippinsorrows]

casually thinking about the time that's had whenever one of the kids have a game that the family is attending. you can bet if it's for lina or tama, hell even koa or kai, there's a good chance one of the kids will get a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. lina and tama have definitely been ejected from their fair share of games.

but, it's more when solana leaves with roro to go get some snacks for the kids from the concession stand, only to come back and find leya, aria, koa and kai sitting there, paying attention, her boys also on their phones, that she's confused where roman is.

solana places aroha back on the bleacher, next to leya, her little girl pleased and occupied with her pretzel. the question is posed towards her other children. "where's your dad?"

leya's frown is all the answer needed, but it's koa who answers casually, "about to beat up the ref."

kai shakes his head, taking a big bite out of his hot dog before answering, "naw. it's the same one that made dad mad last time. he's definitely killing him this time."

samaria gasps, pulling out her phone. "should i record?"

solana can't even bother to deal with the kids cause she's tracking down her husband who, sure enough, is standing with his hands on his hips, arguing down with the man who's a good 6 inches shorter than him.

"roman!"

quiet as it's kept, that damn man be stressing solana out. 😭

and don't let the kids' uncles be there too. all four of them men getting banned from the games.

[theybibsxi]

Hello! ¡Hola! こんにちは！

If you read my description you know how this blog works- it doesn’t! Heheheh

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DO NOT INTERACT if your blog is N$FW. 16+ can interact- but stay PG-13! Minors are fine!

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Have fun here!

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Current Hyperfixation: ...Nothing!

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I have two main OCs! The ref sheet and long description for one of them is right here. The other hasn't been drawn yet (and maybe never will be) but please ask me any and all questions about both of, I'd love to rant! Also, please tag me if you post art or fanfiction or any other form of media including them. I share the same name (Theybibsxi) on [tumblr], Scratch, SoundCloud, YouTube, and Bluesky.

Anonymous Asks

Anon asks are now open, but there are are RULES! Please follow them to make sure they stay open for a long time!

If I get anon hate or an anon talks N$FW to me, anon asks will close for a week. Each time after doubles the previous penalty, and one week of no anon hate (while anon is on) takes a day off the next penalty.

So essentially, the first penalty comes around, wears off, and there's two weeks before the next hate/N$FW message comes in. The time where anon asks are off is then 12 days, because 7*2-2=12. The minimum penalty time is 7 days, so you can never go below that.

If people start exploiting this, the penalty will begin to triple and it will take two weeks to take off a day, and the next time I see exploitation it goes to quadrupling and three weeks to take off a day, and so on and so forth.

I am NOT going to tell you when anon asks are turned on and off. You'll have to see for yourself.

Hopefully this will discourage anon hate. And remember, I CAN SEE WHO IS VISITING MY ACCOUNT!! So if I see someone in my feed that I don't recognize, I will inspect your account. If I see things, I WILL BLOCK YOU.

That should be it! Thanks for stopping by and feel free to say hi!

[swifty-fox]

https://www.tumblr.com/swifty-fox/746422388427735040/actually-now-ive-thought-of-a-hockey-au-question

I JUST READ THIS i Do Not understand hockey and watched the goalie fight and i am soooo confused i thought this was like an ice stick sports game thing WHY are they doing a hand to hand combat in the middle of the ice 😭😭😭😭

the gloves the helmet the stick thrown away and the grabbing at each others THROATS??? why did it feel like they were the only people in the ice i was like '???? Is facilitating a fist fight an actual session of the game?'

and WHY did it take so long for someone to break them up too 😭😭

so i talk a little about the mechanics of a fight in this post

the hand to hand combat is a TIME honored tradition in hockey. It's part of the game, its a way for the players to let off steam and to stand up for eachother against a rival player whos just kinda being a Jackass.

SO as said there you've got your average brawl. This is a bar fight. they're pissed. This is not pre-negotiated and because it's not serving a purpose the refs are gunna get involved quickly. Sometimes they will allow this kind of fight if one of the players has been a huge ass during the game. FAFO buddy.

Then you've got your average hockey fight. Think of it more as boxing. Generally two guys will call eachother out and literally be like "yo wanna fight dude?" theres some great clips of that. this is a great one you can actually see the ref step away once both guys agree. (Lol sorry age restricted it is dudes hittin eachother)

If it is an allowed fight (agreed too, refs stepped off) you will see them hovering around once both guys have exhausted themselves or usually once someone falls to the ice. then they step in to break it up and escort them to their respective Sin Bin (penalty box)

They fight to pump up the crowd, to add some energy back into a slow game and just cause it's fun. they do take penalties for it though no matter the kind of brawl.

for that goalie fight im not sure whats going on honestly lol it may have been some event and the tendys just wanted to fight. You mostly see Tendys fight during a line brawl (literally everyone on ice going at it) And they're not necessarily grabbing at their throats but actually the plastic armor under the jersey. even though its meant to protect the players body from any number of hits or bumps or bruises It's also a solid piece of underarmor that they can maintain a good grip on so as not to fall while throwing punches. it's that white thing PeePaw Ovi is wearing here

[reginaimissyou]

.....and here we have another example of bad referring. Like yeah, it is kind of fun, but this is an automatic red card offense.

Just so we're all clear, other moments that go in the "bad reffing" column:

VAR reviews that last that long are usually a sign that the offense was not "clear and obvious" like they're supposed to be.

There were numerous instances of time wasting by Spain in the second half. Like that corner kick at 90'+3', geez.

Paralluelo should have received a second yellow for this moment (it's just a screencap) where the ball goes out of bounds, off her, and then she kicks it out again in frustration. You can literally see the ref reaching for her yellow card and then backs off? What the hell. Also her own reaction was pathetic, don't act like you don't know why the ref is glaring at you (I just hate when players do that).

There were plenty of moments where a foul should have been given and wasn't, or was given when there wasn't that bad of an offense.

I know I probably just sound like a hater and/or an trying to find ways to justify why the team I like more should have won, so two things:

Some of the penalty shot behavior from the English team was uncalled for. Like as fun as Mary Earps screaming "fuck off" is, that's also a cardable offense. And so was whatever the hell Bronze was doing to Hermoso, which was kind of dumb.

I'll say there appeared to be consistency from the ref for the most part, but her choices of what counts as a foul and what doesn't were bad.

Ugh, I'm just annoyed. This happened in the Spain v Sweden semifinal. It's been happening in other games too, I've just noticed it more significantly in these two; it begs the question, what the fuck is the point of the rule book if we're disregard it at time or just not follow it at all?

[bisluthq]

Different anon but here is my answer to some of your question

I don't get why they keep stopping and why it counts as stoppage time?

The clock rules are basically different depending on which quarter you are in game for example in the second quarter and fourth quarter there is an automatic time out once there is two minutes left on clock. The clock always stops momentarily after a player goes out of bounds to spot the ball. It stays stopped if a player goes out of bounds in the last 2 minutes of the 2nd quarter, and the last 5 minutes of the 4th quarter.

FYI timeouts are supposed to be 60 seconds (or 30 I don’t remember) but they obviously are more than that so tv station can run commercials and make money

I don't understand what the tackling rules are?

Tackling rules could be confusing because of inconsistent referring. Majority of tackling penalties comes against defender when they tackle a quarterback. Some examples of quarter back was running out of bounds and you aggressively push him while he is out of bounds that’s penalty. Also you can’t grab someone by their face mask. There is also horse collar rule where players are prohibited from grabbing a runner's jersey or shoulder pads and pulling them to the ground

I don't understand how they can pass and why it's seemingly only to certain other players (like in rugby they can only pass backwards but to anyone)?

You can technically pass to whoever you want but they need to report as eligible receiver to the ref before the play start. For example sometimes coaches will call trick play and have one of their offensive linemen be a receiver but if they don’t report to the ref as eligible receiver they get a penalty. And in the nfl you can’t pass backwards that penalty you can do lateral passing

I don't understand what makes it offside?

Offside is when a defender crosses the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped (basically the line you see on the screen separating both teams), this usually happen when quarterbacks tries to mislead the defence by doing fake count

And I don't FULLY understand who makes up the offence and who makes up the defence.

I mean this is basically hard to explain because truly each position in nfl is unique but I would say usually linesman are supposed to be big and strong, receivers fast and small, running back also fast and small, tight end big and athletic

I would also say don’t try to understand tactics or anything because that’s so complicated even some quarterbacks who play the game sometimes don’t understand the tactics of defense

THANK YOU! And again please tell me when the next pro game (maybe even high level college? Like Division 1 college football might be good enough to help me understand this shit) because I'll try watch because at this point, and it's actually got fuck all to do with Travis/Chiefs but like as it turns out my bf does like it (makes sense) and hasn't watched because odd times and I have never expressed an interest so now I do want to understand lol so he and I can watch sometimes and when we go there we can go to a game maybe and I won't make a confused ass of myself lol

[redwineconversation]

please be honest, are we better for it? (Lyon - Reims Coupe de France Postgame Thoughts)

Yes, I am on a Gracie Abrams kick. Yes, I know "I Miss You, I'm Sorry" is an old song. Whatever. It's broody and depressing, which kind of sums up how I feel right now.

So, what did we learn today? A painful lesson which we already knew.

I'll concede the ref wasn't great and this team hates playing on artificial turf but neither of those excuse the performance in this game. Lyon played incredibly badly, especially in the first half. The passing was catastrophic, there was little to no press to the extent that Reims was actually bodying Lyon players. No one in their right mind should look at those first 45 minutes and say "this team / that player played well." Well, maybe if you're an unhinged stan you can say that, but rational people won't.

Lyon wasn't really at full strength but had a strong enough squad that they should never have lost on penalties. Benkarth will get a fair amount of blame and I think it's fair, but there's also a caveat. Some of the penalties could have been saved (top corner ones probably weren't going to be saved). She didn't score the deciding penalty, but that's basically Bouhaddi's specialty and not anyone else's. I don't think anyone can/should say with absolute confidence that Endler would have scored the winning penalty. I do think people can say Endler would have saved some of those penalties.

And look, there is a drop in quality between Endler and Benkarth. I think Lyon is a difficult situation when it comes to goalkeepers. Endler is one of the best goalkeepers in the world, if not the best. It's a genuine argument you can make. Realistically you're not going to bench a goalkeeper like Endler, which means the backup goalkeeper isn't going to be playing a lot. Which means you have to have a goalkeeper who is "okay" with not getting a ton of playing time, and no top goalkeeper is going to be okay with sitting on the bench. That's an issue. Because Lyon isn't going to let Endler sit on the bench, but your backup goalkeeper isn't going to be playing a lot, which in turn raises questions about the match day fitness of said backup goalkeeper.

Benkarth lacks confidence. The way you gain confidence is by playing, and that's ... not going to happen if you have Endler on the team. So how to fix that problem? Rotation in certain games? But Lyon doesn't have breathing room, not really. Yes, there's a current 5-point lead over PSG, but there's the entire second half of the season to go, and Lyon still has to go through its traditional annual injury crisis. There's not breathing room, not really.

I don't think the defense was necessarily "great" but when your comparison is the midfield and front line, that's not exactly a great point of comparison. Reims was held goalless (low bar). The defenders scored all their penalties (medium bar?) Gilles was sloppy at times but made good saves. Svava was a little off but again, the entire team was so it's not really fair to call her out on a bad game when everyone else was mediocre as well.

The midfield was so mindblowingly mediocre it was genuinely painful to watch. Substituting van de Donk at half time was the right call because she was so shockingly invisible in the first half. Horan was slightly more awake but her accuracy was way off, even if the intensity was there, something which we have not said a lot this season. Dabritz only started to play well once she got pissed off, which only happened in about the 60th minute and she was subbed 15 minutes later. Damaris sleepwalked her first 10 minutes or so, had some sort of issue with her shoes (?), got carded, and then finally decided to take things seriously. By then it was too late.

And now for the front line. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. At what point can we acknowledge that Becho is not a starter, should not be a starter, and is a bench player at best? It really grinds my gears how there is a direct correlation between Lyon playing badly and Becho starting, and then Twitter Armchair Experts still watch said games and come to the conclusion that the obvious solution is to give Becho more playing time. There is a noticeable lack of chemistry between Becho and Carpenter, in part because the latter is more used to playing with Diani, and Cascarino before that.

When the Sports Gods Montemurro finally showed viewers mercy and subbed Becho and put Diani, the right side started showing a bit more teeth. By that I mean they had the teeth of a toddler, but it was still teeth. Diani missed a major chance she should have put away. But there was intensity and Lyon was more physical and showed more will power once she was on.

Chawinga is starting to prove that Kang shouldn't have a say in the recruitment process. I know Lyon had to do their annual shopping at PSG but - we're starting to see she doesn't fit the profile of a Lyon player. Will she eventually adapt? Who knows. But we're running out of time to find out. She can't play on the wings because her technique doesn't hold up for cutting inside. She can't really play as a pure 9 when Hegerberg is on as well.

Hegerberg missed the penalty which is genuinely annoying. Now, I know, why is it fair to give Hegerberg a pass at the moment and not Becho and Chawinga? Truth is, I do believe Hegerberg's grace period has an expiration date. I also believe we haven't reached it yet. I think we're - very slowly - starting to see the old Hegerberg creep back, but we are a very, very long way from seeing vintage Hegerberg.

Which finally leaves us with Montemurro. This is his first loss with Lyon and I am curious how he handles it, how Kang handles it, and how the team handles it. Lyon is so used to winning that it honestly doesn't take much to lose the locker room. That being said, I don't think this was necessarily a loss due to tactics. No one was being played out of position. Lyon just was... bad, especially in the first half, and by the time they decided to take the game seriously, Reims had parked the bus with zero intention of moving it.

Coupe de France also only allows a team to have 16 players in the squad. If you think that two of those have be goalkeepers, it does make the team selection quite limited. Personally I would have started Diani instead of Becho, but maybe Montemurro was also being a bit conservative ahead of the PSG game next week. I don't think there was necessarily anything purely "wrong" with the players he selected. They just collectively played badly for a majority of the game.

Usually when there is a loss like this Lyon gets pissed off and reacts accordingly. Lyon/PSG games usually have quite a bit of bite to them. I'm glad it's being played at Parc des Princes, it's a gorgeous stadium. That being said I think I saw that the Ultras will not be attending, something which will disappoint Bacha more anything. It's not the same when you can't deliberately rile up opposing fans.

Hopefully Lyon gets pissed off, hopefully what happened against Reims is not to be repeated for the rest of the season. I think it's too early to call for Montemurro's head, but I think it's fair to say this was also a warning shot. Losing is unacceptable. Don't let it happen again.

[traveltrainsandcoffee]

THE FFL END OF SEASON REVIEW 2023/24

The summer of 2023. Australia had retained the Ashes, bloody Manchester rain and a very controversial stumping. In football Man City had won the treble in May, but the big talk in the Premiership and FFL was about Harry Kane. Kane had been in most people’s teams for many years, but was probably leaving Spurs, but where? City, United? Spain? Germany or the Saudi Pro league. Several stars followed CR7 to Saudi Arabia, including Manager Steven Gerrard with his dodgy attempted Arabic and Jordon Henderson who caused a stir after always supporting LGBT+ then moving to a country which strictly banned such things.

The FFL had been won by a Colin for the last 3 seasons. The Hawk had the title and back in May he stated that he was only a couple of dodgy weekends off the treble. Could he go even better, what about Our Grimsby Roma. In 2022 he set a world record point’s score in winning the league. Mark Taylor had led the league, but ran out of steam and players finishing second, could he challenge again. Senol Durmush and Andy Flanagan had both won cups and were among the favourites. Could Kieron Mullin get back to winning ways?

The Euros awaiting at the end of the season, but just before the season started sad news. Former work colleague and friend Steven Spence died. Spenny won the 2004 Euro FFL. Rest in peace mate.

New managers joined FFL, both had had a go in the World cup, now the real thing for Holly Shakeshaft and Blessing Charumbira. FFL had now had members from Europe, North America, South America and now Africa. It then looked like Kane was staying,  but just at the deadline Kane went to Germany and my phone exploded with managers frantically changing their strikers, well a couple missed the deadline and had to start with only 20 players. Thanks Harry. Milner was still in FFL, 3 years after I said it was the end for him Barista Sarah put him in the Team Aroma.  So as England were battling and eventually losing in the final of the Women's World cup, The FFL started, with The Hawk as the early leader, with Senol, Paul Taylor and The Knightrider best of the rest. 

September started with the return of Origi to the Premier league with Forest. Some managers in FFL seemed more interested in the size of his err, appendage than his football skills. The Hawk was starting ok, but behind the scenes all was not well, angry worried texts from him showed how many players were missing. His team was falling apart and in real trouble. A very understrength Hawk was beaten by Senol Durmush in the Bennett's Shield and went into freefall. Senol was going very well at the top of the league, but with many players injured, many FFL teams were suffering penalty points already. After a poor start Mark Taylor went for an Ice-cream with Harry Maguire at Mablethorpe. By the end of September Senol was still top, facing an unlikely challenge from Team Aroma, yes Team Aroma were doing well. That will never last.

October and VAR madness was in the headlines. A complete breakdown in communications between the VAR bunker and the ref resulted in a total mess. Liverpool and Liverpool fans felt a total injustice. Disco Lee Ritchie had a good online moan. The PGMOL stated that human error was to blame. In the champion’s league first group stage, Tappy, Sally Sands, Andy Flanagan and Mark Taylor were top of the groups. The Hawk was having a nightmare and was out. The month also saw the passing of Francis Lee and Bill Kenwright, along with World cup winner Sir Bobby Charlton. Bobby was probably England’s greatest ever player. In the league only 1 point between the top three of Jon Thomson, Team Aroma and Senol Durmush. Yes Team Aroma were still challenging. 

November and three things I didn’t expect to be saying. Cameron back in the cabinet, Farage going into the jungle and Team Aroma top of the league. Our Grimsby Roma questioned how on earth have they done this? This would be a start of a great run by Team Aroma. Aroma famous for always doing badly, famous for some very dodgy player picks were top, clear and pulling away. Definitely their greatest FFL run in their history.  Not so great news for Everton as they were deducted a record 10 points for spending far less than Chelsea, and Man City, but more than their Premiership allowance would permit. That’s fair play for you. Everton would get 4 points back on appeal, but have another 2 points taken for the same reason during mostly the same time period???  Forest had points deducted too.  Imagine how many points they would have been deducted if they had spent as much as Chelsea have in the last two seasons? Man City had 115 charges hanging over their head, but this may take till the end of time to deal with.  FFP and VAR would really spoil this season. 

More sad news as former England manager Terry Venables sadly died. I don’t think anyone our age will forget the summer of 96. Early December and a bad injury to Goalkeeper Pope would have a huge impact on many teams. With Ramsdale not playing, Allison injured and so many defenders missing, this season would see more penalty points than ever before. In the champions league second group stages it was very tight. The final games saw last season’s winner Andy Flanagan  along with Sally Sands, Kieron Mullin and Colin Fenwick through to the semi-finals. Mary Earps won SPOTY and had a Nottingham tram named after her. The AROMA TRAIN kept on rolling, they were now 30 points clear at the top and the Christmas number one. Could this be a Leicester city moment, could anyone stop them?

Over Christmas and New Year so much happened. Rishi came to Lincoln and even met Blessing’s mum in Sainsburys.. Orange netting flapping around in the wind caused panic at Blackpool tower, Klopp broke Tsimikas collarbone and the world was being introduced to the oldest looking 16 year old, Luke ‘the nuke’ Littler.  Joey Barton started mouthing off against women in football and generally making a fool of himself. My German trip didn’t go very well. Firstly Harry Kane didn’t join me in the Augustiner Keller, then angry farmers, rail strikes, delays and rail replacement buses brought misery. More sad news as one of the world’s greatest ever players Franz Beckenbauer passed away. Back in Lincoln for my birthday and that life size cut out of Divock Origi was still stalking me from behind the bar in Red5. During all this time Team Aroma were top and clear. Barista Shann wanted to make room for the trophy, Olivia started writing a Team Aroma chant. There was even talk of an open top TVR ride along Guildhall Street with the trophy, if they won. You can almost see Andy driving, with Sarah and Shann in the back holding up the trophy.  January ended with the news that Klopp would be leaving Liverpool at the end of the season. Lots of tears from Disco, Holly and half of Merseyside. Jordan Henderson hadn’t settled in Saudi and wanted out. I donated to Stonewall and ActionAid again, when asked on the website why I was donating I simply put ‘disappointed with Jordan Henderson’. A bit of edge crept into FFL.  A few digs at Team Aroma from some managers including Colin Fenwick comparing it to an infinite number of monkeys writing the complete works of Shakespeare. Team Aroma’s Sarah came firing back. Not with Keegan style madness, but with Shakespeare. Not since the days of Flannery , Padgham and Burnett battling with Flynny and Mullin had we seen such scenes.   

The FA cup. Team Aroma, Our Grimsby Roma and Jon Thomson got first round byes.  The first leg of both champions league semi-finals were both draws.  The FA CUP 1st round saw wins for Duncan Mackenzie who beat Gareth Dyke, Danny Lawson hammered Holly, Pam Taylor beat Andy Flanagan and Kieron beat Blessing. The tie of the round saw FA cup holder Senol beat Disco Lee Ritchie by 2 points. Blessing overlooked this disappointment and started crowing about Arsenal winning the league this season. Colin Fenwick won his champions league semi against holder Andy Flanagan, while Kieron beat Sally in the other semi. These were good days for Our Grimsby Roma, a Champions league final, starting to close the gap on Team Aroma and last 8 in the FA cup. Possible treble?  The second round saw Jon beat Duncan, Kieron beat Danny and Colin beat Pam. Senol beat Team Aroma. More bad news for Aroma as the lead was being chipped away. Sad news as German world cup winner Andres Brehme died. Under pressure Roy Hodgson ended up in hospital and eventually left Palace. Liverpool WON the EFL cup, ‘beating the blue billion dollar bottle jobs’ Chelsea, not my words, but the words of Gary Neville.

In the FFL, the dream was over. After leading for 3 and a half months, key injuries saw Team Aroma slide down the table. Both Kieron Mullin and Colin Fenwick were going for the treble. The champion’s league first leg saw Kieron get a 2 point lead. Penalty points were hurting so many teams. Jon Thomson was 3 points clear of Kieron with Danny Lawson 3rd. The FA Cup semi-final saw Jon beat Kieron and Colin beat Senol. This ended Kieron’s treble dream and Senol’s hold on the FA cup. As Easter approached Jon had 15 point lead at the top.

Easter and it's very tight at the top. The penalty points have kept scores lower this year, but it’s very close between Jon Thomson, Kieron Mullin, Colin Fenwick and Danny Lawson. There was a national outcry as Nike changed the England Flag on the England shirt, not to mention the price £125. In FFL in one week every single manager apart from Holly got penalty points. Kieron Mullin won the first trophy of 2024 in winning the champions league. This was Kieron's 13th FFL trophy, an FFL record and the end of Colin Fenwick treble dream. It was also around this time that we were all introduced to the term 'Pickfordsexual' now I'm pretty clued up on the modern gender and sexual spectrum, but this one was new to me.

Harry Kane left spurs to win titles, unfortunately as the saying goes 'you can take the boy from Spurs, but you can’t take the Spurs from the boy' for the first time in 12 years Bayern München didn't win the league. Poor Harry, you really should have joined me for that beer at the Augustiner Keller.

 

By April Jon was 13 clear at the top of the league and preparing for an FA Cup final. Possible double. A bad couple of games for Arsenal saw them lose ground in the league and out of Europe. Blessing who had been very confident of their success was crushed, so much so that he started quoting Friedrich Nietzsche. This along with Sarah Henderson quoting Shakespeare makes you think ' whatever happened to the days of people shouting I would Love it if we beat them, love it.' More sad news as Joe Kinnear died, I remember seeing him as a manager on the touchline at a couple of games.

 

Late April and something very strange happened. Everton who started to improve beat Forest 2 nil. However 3 possible Forest penalty shouts were not given and VAR didn’t get involved. Forest issued a statement after the game accusing the Premier league of putting a Luton fan in the VAR box and that they were considering their options. This felt like full on tinfoil hat conspiracy time. Who was to blame for this very miss-guided statement? Nuno, The strange Greek owner or Mark Clattenburg in his vague ref advisory role at Forest. Most of the footballing world came out and condemned Forest. The FA talked of charging them with bringing the game into disrepute. Then shortly afterwards Clattenburg left his role at Forest. 'Clattenburg, you will go on my first whistle.' The FA Cup final was an all Italian affair as Juvejon played Our Grimsby Roma. Klopp and Salah had their touch line bust up, I was watching the game in a pub in Norwich with Holly Shakeshaft. We were given the true London stadium feel as the TV screen was about 5 miles from where we were sat. Colin Fenwick won the FA cup final by 4 points to win his 3rd FFL. Liverpool had found Klopps replacement, A Dutchman who looks like a cross between MVG and Matt Lucas called. Arne Slot.

May and the FFL was becoming a 2 maybe 3 horse race. Jon Thomson was top, with Kieron Mullin 2nd and Our Grimsby Roma 3rd, but 15 points back.  Leicester City were heading back to the Premiership, Bayern were knocked out of Europe and Kane would again finish trophyless.  The hammer blow, the KO came in the final few Man City games. Defender Gvardiol, who had missed a chunk of the season started scoring goals and keeping clean sheets. He got Kieron 12 points in only 2 games. Going into the final Premiership weekend Kieron was 15 points clear of Jon at the top.

The final weekend of the season saw Usyk beat Fury, Man City win their 4th Premier title in a row and Liverpool fans said their tearful goodbyes to Klopp.  Kieron Mullin had all but wrapped up the FFL title. A now 17 point lead and with similar players left in the FA Cup meant he couldn’t really be caught. Moyes left West Ham, Pochettino was sacked. Luke Littler won the Premier League of darts and Rishi called a general Election. During his attempt at being a normal bloke he asked a group of Welsh guys if they were looking forward to the football (Euros). Wales haven't qualified.

The FA Cup final saw a mix up in City's defence and Utd go one up, two, no its offside , but soon it was two nil. Final few minutes and it 2v1. Utd hang on and win the FA Cup. No double for City, but is Ten Hag still getting the sack?

 

So Kieron added The FFL title to his Champions League title a record 14th career trophy, amazing when you consider he got -50 in penalty points. Jon Thomson took second place and Colin Fenwick 3rd. Colin also won the FA Cup. Team Aroma had their highest ever finish of 8th and made the champions league for the first time ever. A brilliant season for them, but it all felt disappointing after once being 30 points clear at the top, Andrew, Sarah, Shann, Olivia and the rest  lamenting what might have been. The final champions league spot went to Blessing, by just 2 points over Tappy.

Thank you for a great Season, really great fun, soon be time for Euro FFL and we go again for the main event starting again in August

2 Final thoughts.

1. Will Kane ever win a trophy?

2. Can Team Aroma repeat this again next season?

MT

[twincitiesgemini]

Okay, I'm a super newbie so I could be wrong here and I'm counting on the more experienced fans to correct me if so. But what New York got hit with here was a penalty called a "Knock On."

A knock on is when a player hits the ball with their arm or hand causing the ball to go forward and hit the ground. And from what I can tell it can be pretty varied in how it happens.

So hitting a ball forward is a knock on. Fumbling a ball forward could also be a knock on. Even something like tackling a player and inadvertently hitting the ball forward with your arm while doing so would also be one.

So in this case while Boston was attempting that pass a New York player hit the ball forward with her hand.

Things got extra spicy here because they were so close to the goal line. The ref judged that the knock on was not only intentional but that it interfered with what could have been a probable try and thus awarded the penalty try to Boston which gave them the win.

(things get wilder if you start to ask if a forward pass would actually have resulted in a probable try, but I'm still new so that question is way out of my league.)

Someone who understands the rules of rugby better than me please explain to me what NY specifically did wrong to give Boston the win

[futbol16]

Just an FYI  • Ana-Maria Crnogorčević

Request:  can I please request jealous protective anamaria over R?

Word count: 3k

Going into the Champions league semi final you were quite surprised to see that Barca would be going up against Arsenal. Nonetheless, you were excited. Especially because of how the last games ended two years ago. You knew the reds have improved their team and game a lot since then, but that didn’t stop you from picturing all the goals your team would send soaring past Zinsberger. 

You sat next to your usual bus buddy, Ana, on the way to the stadium and the two of you spent the bus ride laughing and sharing the snacks you were allowed to eat. 

“How many goals do you think we’ll score?” she questions with the same cheeky smile on her face that you are wearing, the both of you more than ready for the match.

“I reckon 2, maybe 3.” you nod confidently, following your statement by your own question. “What would you predict for the end result?”

“3-0” she shrugs nonchalantly and you chuckle at her antics, leaning into her side more. Your cheeks are dusted with a light pink shade as Ana keeps an arm around you.

 “Okay, 3-1 if we get unlucky.” You can only nod along to her words, knowing that the team is in its best form and a strong Arsenal won’t stop you from scoring.

Walking out into the tunnel already clad in your Barca jersey you take your place behind Jana. Your focus is solely on the pitch just outside the tunnel but you’re also aware of the stares of some players from the Arsenal line to your right. 

You breathe in deeply to calm your nerves and then you slowly exhale. Ana senses your slight distress from behind you and without a second thought she slides her hand into yours, giving it a squeeze. It seems like her gesture has the desired effect because the pounding of your heart is becoming less intense and you feel more at ease. Your thumb rubs over her knuckles in appreciation and the Swiss international’s heart swells at it. Just as quickly as her hand slipped into yours, you let go of it though and Ana’s eyes snap down to your hand in confusion, only to then be nudged from behind and she realizes the team has started walking out. 

The game is intense to say the least. It is apparent that even without Vivianne and Beth, Arsenal are more than capable of creating chances. Barca is doing good too and although the possession remains mostly in your team’s, Arsenal’s defense is proving to be hard to get through. 

You’re experiencing it first hand because as soon as you're near the penalty box, a certain defender takes you out in some way or another. Every single time. More than half of these tackles have been borderline fouls which frustrates you and your team on no end. Irene and Ana can barely contain themselves enough to not spring into action and give the defender a bit of their own medicine. 

The first time you were brutally side tackled, her boots catching a bit of your ankles, you thought you knew who it was. The flash of the red jersey and the aggression of the tackle is one you’ve experienced from an Arsenal defender before. However, when you catch sight of the name on her back, you’re beyond surprised to see it’s not McCabe who’s been trying to end your career. 

“Bloody hell, what has gotten into her?!” you mutter under your breath as Ana helps you up and the referee finally blows her whistle. There’s a fire in Ana’s eyes as she glares at Catley, one that you recognize in every other Barca player’s eyes too. They’re all ready for revenge. It’s a well known fact about Barcelona, any Barca team. If they mess with one if you, they won’t come out alive.

“What? Ref that was nothing, it was the ball! The ball!” Steph shouts in fury, mimicking a ball with her hands. 

“You might need glasses, honey.” Mapi retaliates and while Ingrid tries to stifle her laugh, Ana next to you doesn’t hold back. The referee interferes before it can go any further and hands the ball to Irene, telling her that the team is going to be awarded a free kick. Steph Catley’s expression falters slightly as she watches the ref write her name on the yellow card. 

“You confident to take it?” she raises an eyebrow with a small smile, knowing just how much you enjoyed shooting from long distances. 

As you stand behind the ball just halfway in between the halfway-line and the penalty area, your eyes rake over the players scattered around in front of the goal. Your gaze connects with Ingrid’s and all you need is the small nod she gives you before you’re sending the ball into another dimension with the force you kick it with. The Arsenal players expected you to line your shot up for a header but when the ball goes soaring above them and straight into the goal, they stare after it with wide eyes, their bodies still in a position that tells you they were ready to head the ball away. Dumbfounded, that’s what they were. All of them. 

In an instant you’re surrounded by the team as you do a knee slide in celebration before getting into the group hug. 

“I fucking told you they weren’t ready for you!” Ana shouts in your face as she touches her forehead to yours and you laugh at her words while your body heats up. Even as the team moves back into position, the winger stares after you with a prideful look.

Your happiness is short lived because barely fifteen minutes later and just before halftime, Frida manages to slot the ball into the goal, just out of reach for Panos. 

Despite the equalizer, the girls' heads are held high as you head to the locker room, ready for the halftime speech Jonatan would be giving. 

Ana-Maria’s hand subtly resting on your thigh grounds you enough to absorb everything the coach says like a dehydrated plant. Ana on the other hand, keeps most of her focus on you during those fifteen minutes and she doesn’t miss the pink tint of your cheeks as her thumb grazes your skin just below your shorts. 

Truthfully, the two had been dancing around your feelings for each other since the start of the season. It started when the team was out for team bonding and you ended up dancing with a girl at the bar - far too intimately you had to admit. It resulted in endless teasing from your friends and a scowl on Ana’s face. You didn’t understand why she was upset, and for the first few days neither did Ana. But as the weeks went by and her urge to be closer to you only grew, she had come to the realization that she had strong feelings for you. 

You shared these feelings, you’ve always found Ana attractive but you were scared to shoot your shot with the older woman, scared of the embarrassment you’d feel when you would be rejected. The blonde never made a move on you either, only giving small signs here and there that weren’t enough to give you a clear indication as to how she felt. She has only recently gotten as touchy as she was now, her hand rarely leaving you.

The second half of the game is a hard fought one. Frida and Stina are on the move any chance they get and Steph still hasn’t given up on trying to sprain your ankle. In spite of their clearly good advances on goal, your team has switched up their strategy as well. Zinsberger can’t catch a break in goal with each shot Caro and you send her way, and you’re proud to say that Sandra has stayed clean in your goal. The defenders are working extra hard to keep the ball away from the penalty box. 

Just as the clock hits the 60’th minute mark, Ana sends a through ball that ends up in front of Aitana’s feet who continues the pass towards you. You know you have to make a quick decision before Catley comes pouncing on you. Pass or shoot. The ball is still in the air. Pass or shoot. The red of Steph’s shirt appears in your peripheral vision, you can’t let her close. Shoot. 

With a jump, your back still facing the Arsenal goal, your foot connects with the ball in an overhead shot. On your descent towards the ground you merely manage to crane your neck and watch as Zinsberger attempts to punch it over the crossbar.

You aren’t given a second to react before a body lands on you, many following behind and you lay under the pile of blaugrana players with a satisfied grin on your lips.

“VAMOOSSS!!” 

The switch flips after that and Barca take advantage of Arsenal’s momentary discouragement. Another shot fires into the back of the goal, courtesy to Caroline and you don’t even bat an eye at the way Steph barrels into you when the game is resumed because it is only five minutes after that when the full time whistle is blown. Barca is through to the final.

You ignore the Arsenal players around you and the crowd as you dance around in happiness with your teammates, celebrating the win. 

“3-1 like I told you.” Ana winks at you and you roll your eyes at her.

“It’s not like I said it would be different.” she chuckles at you and then breaks out in a laugh when you gently shove her.

Once everything has calmed down a bit, you shake hands with the one red player you haven’t shaken hands with. You’re surprised when you’re pulled into a hug by the defender but you pat her back anyway. Steph pulls back from you though she keeps her hands on your biceps and looks you over with a smirk. 

“You made my job extra hard today, you know.” she informs you as her thumbs rub into your bicep and you let out a nervous laugh.

“Yeah well I didn’t know the yellow card McCabe’s spirit would possess you.” The Australian throws her head back as she laughs and her hands slide lower on your arm before her fingers graze over yours. 

You barely resist from pulling back from her touch, mildly uncomfortable in the situation you’ve found yourself in with the defender who’s been trying to separate your ankles from the rest of your legs.

“Do you want to swap shirts?” the heavy accent rings out close to your face and she doesn’t give you time to answer as she pulls the shirt over her head. You can’t refuse now though. Steph’s hands play with your Barca kit but she’s quick to put it on once you’ve handed it to her. 

Steph’s eyes remain glued to your toned abdomen as she continues lightly praising the way you’ve played. Just as her fingertips are about to make contact with where she’s been staring, a hand slides across your torso.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding as you recognize the arm and your body relaxes into hers. Ana’s hand remains on the waistband of your shorts, clearly displaying not only her protectiveness but also rubbing it into the defender’s face when her fingers softly scratch the skin of your abdomen, soothing you more than possible. 

Steph’s eyes finally part ways with your abs and her head snaps back up to your face. You almost laugh at the frightened look that washes over her expression. 

“Everything okay here?” That's not a question, all three of you know that.

The Swiss international stares her down, a mix of emotions swirling in her eyes but Steph can tell none of them are good. The brunette clears her throat in discomfort, averting her eyes back to yours as she rushes out a goodbye.

“It was nice to meet you - well formally, you know, apart from the many tackles.” she huffs out a laugh but stops when Ana raises a daring eyebrow, urging her to finish. 

“Erm, well thank you for the shirt and goodluck in the final” the Australian almost squeaks out and you decide to cut her some slack as you give her a quick hug. Still, the blonde’s hand remains on the small of your back and she gives Steph one last glare over your shoulder before the defender practically sprints back to her own team. Ana snorts at that and you lift your gaze to meet the older woman.

“Thank you” you tell her sincerely as you lean into her side and you discreetly press a small kiss to her shoulder. The winger’s face heats up right in front of you for the first time ever and she struggles to say anything for a second. A smile forms on your lips as you see her all flustered. You’d be lying if you said your knees weren’t close to giving out from the softness of her eyes and the seemingly star struck expression on her face.

“I’ll go catch up with Ingrid and Frida, okay? I will see you after” you give her arm a squeeze and Ana nods at you. She stares after you as you join your national teammates while you struggle to pull on the shirt and she chuckles under her breath when Ingrid gives you a helping hand. 

“Du bist eifersüchtig” A voice speaks up next to her and Ana jumps slightly. Lia grins at her with a knowing look and Ana can’t stop herself from rolling her eyes.

“Nein.”

“Ja. Don’t think I didn’t see whatever that was just now. Oh and the hand holding before the game?” the Swiss women share a look and then Ana sighs in defeat as she finally pulls her national teammate into a hug. However, she is quick to redirect the topic as she instead opts to ask about how her friend has been doing since the last time they’ve seen each other.

A few minutes later both teams start heading inside and you hug Frida goodbye as you detach from your Norwegian group. You lean your head on Ana’s shoulder, who without your knowledge glances down at you with a fond smile.

“Hi Lia” you greet the Swiss Arsenal player and she hugs you. 

“I also better get going. See you next time” she tells the two of you and then she gives Ana a teasing smirk who thinks she knows what her friend is about to say. “Sag ihr, dass du sie liebst!” the confusion on your face is one she expected but the blonde next to you had been totally caught off guard by what she said. But, a second later, she does give a small, shy nod.

“Come, let’s not make them wait.” you follow the blonde into the changing room and then onto the bus.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to you when by the time the bus leaves the car park, half the team is passed out and deep in sleep. The dark sky outside the window can only hint as to just how late it is. You’re sitting next to Ana in one of the last rows in the bus, like usual. 

Unlike the rest of your friends though, the two of you are wide awake. You’ve always been known to be very energetic so you can’t even think of resting your eyes. Meanwhile, Ana-Maria next to you is deep in thought about what Lia had told her. 

You linking your pinkies together is what breaks her out of her trance and she turns to you. The dimmed lights of the bus give you a halo and as the light from the street lamps shine through the window Ana recognizes the glimmer in your eyes.

“What’s got you lost?” you whisper, mindful of all the girls who are sleeping around you. The blonde’s eyes are dark with desire and the urge to tell you everything. She swallows hard as you patiently wait for her to say something.

“Look Y/N/N, I just really-” she stops mid sentence, wondering if it was the right thing to tell you. You reach out with one hand to cup her cheek gently, bringing her gaze to meet yours again. 

“You really what?” Ana opens her mouth again and her eyelids flutter at the way her body heats up when your thumb strokes over her cheek. She has never felt so flustered around someone. She can feel your breath fanning against her face, only now noticing that she has subconsciously leaned closer to you. “Ana?”

“I really like you” she chokes out and she’s ready to panic but your soft touch calms her slightly. “Actually, maybe I'm in love with you. I don’t know if that’s a wrong thing, I get it if you don’t feel the same way. Just like, an FYI” she rambles in a hushed tone and you swear you’ve never seen her act so nervous. 

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy however and you’re overwhelmed with joy knowing that the Swiss woman feels the same way you do.

“Ana, I’m in love with you too” you tell her softly - although truthfully you thought it was obvious - and her eyes meet yours. The adoration in your gaze makes her blush deeper and you smile at her, your own face heating up at the close proximity as well as the confession.

“Just an FYI” the two of you giggle quietly and you press your face into her neck to muffle the sound. Ana lets you stay there for a second before she eases your head back and her eyes move to your lips. Your mouth falls open in anticipation and you gently squeeze her thigh.

“Can I?” Ana breathes out.

“You know you can” is all it takes for Ana to dive right in and claim your lips. You softly gasp into the kiss, your senses heightened and utterly in love with the way she kisses you so passionately, like she’s been waiting for decades. It’s only for a second that you pull away to take a breath and then you’re back in, lips molding together and moving against each other in a fervent yet loving way, uncaring of the people around you. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Ana whispers against your lips while your fingers tangle in her hair.

“I’ve wanted you to do this for so long.”

[l-e-e-woso]

Will You, Mi Amor? - Mapi Leon

Italics = Spanish

Prompt 90 - “If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people will you do it?”

_________________________

This was one of the biggest games of your career, the Semi Final of the Champions League verses Wolfsburg.

You had expected it to be one of the toughest matches you’ve played in for Barca but it was far from it. Aitana scored within 3 minutes of the match starting which seemed to just open the flood gates because 7 minutes later Caro scored, then Jenni at 33’ which you assisted and just to top it off Alexia scored 7 minutes before half time.

As you walked back on the pitch from the changing room Mapi put her arm around your shoulders and kissed your cheek. “You just need to get a goal now amor!” Mapi chuckled as you rested your head against her shoulder as the both of you got back into position on the pitch.

“I’ll try bubs.” You say giving her a quick hug before taking your place beside Alexia who gives you fist bump before smiling at you.

The game starts back up and you manage to get ahead of the defenders with the ball and you go to shoot when you get inside the penalty box. One of the Wolfsburg defenders goes in for a slide tackle completely missing the ball and takes you off your feet.

The ref blows the whistle and signals for a penalty in favour of Barca. Alexia comes over to you to make sure you are alright after that dirty tackle. “You take the pen speedy.” Alexia says patting your shoulder and gives you the ball to take the pen.

You take the ball and place it on the penalty spot, the ref blows the whistle again, you take a few steps back and take a deep breath before running up to the ball and slotting it in the top left corner.  

As soon as the ball went in you were swarmed by your Barca teammates screaming in your ear in celebration.

The game ends a few minutes later and all you can hear is the fans singing Un Dia de Partit.

Mapi comes up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist then rests her chin on your shoulder. “We're through to the finals babyyy!” Mapi says excitedly as you rest your hands on top of hers.

“Are we celebrating by ourselves tonight amor?” You say with a smirk as Mapi blushes at your question before nodding yes.

“Baby if I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people will you do it?” Mapi whispers in your ear making your eyes go wide and turn around in her arms quickly.

“Of course amor.” You say placing a hand on her cheek before leaning in and kissing her softly, you feel her smiling into the kiss causing you to also smile and pull away, resting your forehead on Mapi’s.

_________________________

Taglist:   @sofakingwoso @dutch-gay86 @gt713 @mmmmokdok @xxforeverinadayxx  

[swissboyhisch]

My Jersey

Pairing: Nikita Zadorov x Reader

Summary: After a little rain comes sun... And thunder. Thunder in the form of a six foot five Russian defenseman.

Word Count: 1389

Warnings: Shitty Bruins fans, harassment, some puck bunny comments, borderline sexual harassment, but also hinted sexual stuff at the end!

A/N: I love Zadorov and there is NOTHING on him anywhere. He's so cute as well. Easily the best dressed player in the league. Have you seen him in those suits... WOW. If anyone has any fic recs for him... PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME! Or even just to talk about him, feel free to send in something or message me. I'm always happy to discuss him.

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

You, adorning your Zadorov jersey, shuffled along the rows of the Saddledome. You had a glass ticket that was next to the penalty box for the Flames. But for now, it was time to watch their warm-ups like many of the other fans. Around you was a large group of older Boston Bruins fans already in their seats. The way they were eyeing you made you nervous. The Flames players skated out for warm-ups skating past where she now stood. 

“What are you? Some kinda puck bunny?” Someone questioned from behind you. At first, you weren’t paying attention, but a tug on the back of your jersey pulled your eyes away from warm-ups. “Hey Zadorov slut.”

You turned to them after them tugging hard enough to cause you to stumble back into the seat behind you. “I’m just a fan, can you please stop?”

“What’s the accent, huh, sweetheart?” One of the other older guys questioned. 

“Leave me alone please.”

The grey-haired guy wouldn’t let go of the sleeve of your jersey. Even though you struggled and pulled. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the brand new Zadorov jersey. No-one around them was coming to your aid. You looked around, hoping someone would help you cause it was like he wasn’t stopping. A loud sound from behind you startled them. The guys doing the harassing looked past you. You turned to see the 6’5” Nikita Zadorov standing against the glass glaring at the group. 

“Don’t touch her,” He shouted, slamming his fist against the glass.

They seemed to listen to the Flames defensemen because they didn’t speak to you for the rest of the warmups. At the end of the 15 minutes, Zadorov came over with a puck in his glove. He smiled and pointed to you. He chucked it over the glass. You flipped the cold puck over in your hand, the Flames logo staring up at you. The kids nearby got excited but were sad when you caught the puck. One thing you hated was seeing the sad kids and there was one girl that stood in front of you that was also wearing a Zadorov jersey. 

“Here you go sweetheart,” You smiled, passing her the puck. 

The young girl got so excited jumping up and down and holding it out to show her parents standing nearby. You smiled and laughed as the kids were all bouncing at seeing a Flames puck up close. By the time you looked up from the kids, the team had skated off the ice and back to the changerooms. 

“Thank you for that,” A woman’s voice spoke up.

You smiled at the girl’s mother. “It’s all good.”

Everyone started moving to their seats after warm-ups ended. After buying a coke from one of the food stands, you moved to the opposite side of the arena and found your glass seat. Right next to the penalty box. You watched on as the stadium filled with fans becoming the ‘Sea of Red’. Something that was exciting to witness for yourself. It wasn’t long before the teams returned to the ice ready for puck drop. You were ready to watch the Flames win.

Marchand knocked into Markstrom making the ref call goalie interference. But that wasn’t enough. You watched as Zadorov skated to drop the gloves with Marchand. 6’5” vs 5’9”. Not exactly fair but that didn’t matter to a defensemen protecting his team. He screamed something in the Bruin rat’s face as he shoved him away from the crease.

“Get him!” the guy beside you shouted.

The ref stopped and sent them both to the sin bin. You watched as Zadorov skated to the one right beside you. He was pissed off and helmetless from the fight. He looked… sweaty. And sexy. He caught your eye and smirked at you. Whether he remembered you from before the game or not didn’t matter.

Calgary came onto the ice, waving thank you to the fans still in the crowd. The final score was 5 to 3 with Flames winning. Each player had something they were throwing to the fans. Some had pucks, t-shirts or hats. Many kids were back down against the glass but you just stood at your seat. Making sure to take pictures before you leave. 

Zadorov spotted you in the crowd once more. Paying no mind to the people around you. He grabbed a puck and skated across the ice. Standing before you, he held up the puck once more and made sure you knew to keep it. After you nodded he flicked it over the glass. 

You flipped the puck over in your palm again. Just like before the game. This time, on the other side of the puck, was an instagram handle. One that you didn’t recognise written in silver marker. 

“Me?”

Zadorov smirked and nodded. Tyler Toffoli bumped into him, the pair sharing a laugh. The other members of the team were heading off the ice. Zadorov sent you one more smile before the pair left the ice. You sat back down, knowing the three stars were yet to be announced. While you waited, you pulled out your phone and opened instagram. You searched the handle and a simple account popped up. A private account to be precise. As you requested to follow him, the announcers started the star presentation. Toffoli, Zadorov and Lucic were the three stars of the game which was awesome to witness. 

You followed people out of the Saddledome and continued your path down the street into the city where you occasionally went for post-game drinks. After a win like tonight, it seemed like many people had the same idea as you. You ordered your drink and found an empty table to perch yourself at. People watching was the entertainment for the night. Drunk girls dancing like nobody was watching. When in reality everyone was watching them twerk. Guys arguing over something stupid. It was like most of your solo nights out at the bar. 

“Well I didn’t think I’d see you out tonight,” A voice spoke up over the music. It was the certain Russian accent you’ve heard only in interviews.

The seat across from you was pulled out and Zadorov settled himself into it. Over the music the hollers of his already tipsy teammates could be heard. If either of you looked in the back corner of the bar, his friends were posted up. All celebrating tonight’s win against the Bruins.

“Well I decided to stop by on my way back to my place,” You respond.

Zadorov holds out his hand, “Nikita.”

You slipped your hand into his and shook it, yelling your name over the music. “So, Z…”

“A nickname already?”

“There are like 5 other Nikita’s in the NHL,” You state, “I need to differentiate them all.”

The smirk that came across the Russian’s face should have been illegal. “Yet, my name is the one on show across your back.”

“Is that how it’s gonna be?”

Zadorov chuckled, “It’s definitely a sight for sore eyes. A sexy woman wearing your jersey… It’s something most men dream of.”

Two drinks were placed on the table between the pair of you. Both looked up to see Toffoli already retreating back to the corner. Upon closer inspection, they had gotten your order correct. Zadorov was drinking what looked like stereotypical Vodka but anything was possible. Knowing athletes, a majority don’t like to drink during the season. 

“Well…” You smirk, “I originally wanted Tkachuk’s jersey but he was traded to Florida before I could buy it. Don’t you think it would have looked good on me?”

Upon hearing your words, Zadorov slid his hand up behind your neck. Gently pulling you closer over the table so he could whisper into your ear. “How about we go back to yours and I’ll make it so the only name you say is the one across your back?”

“Hm… Try me,” I retort, sending him a sly smile.

“Let’s get going shall we.”

“Sure thing Tkachuk replacement.”

On the way out of the bar, once out of curious eyes, Zadorov pulled you close and hand settled on your ass. Giving it a squeeze. “Just you wait baby. The only thing you’ll be wearing is my jersey as I make you forget everything but my name.”

TAG LIST:

@penny4yourthoughts @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings