#This one is a bit slower and starting to get its footing

[honeypiehotchner]

The Gambit (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part five

I've officially gone back to work full time, so I might be a bit slower with writing, but hopefully not too much! I'm really excited keep posting this little story with all its twists and turns 🤭🤭 (That being said, the end of this one will prob make zero sense but TRUST ME, it will make sense later on)

Warnings: more of the case, more arguing, depictions of a panic attack, more vagueness about Reader's backstory 👀

Hotch watches you through the two-way glass as you speak to Richard Monroe once again. Rossi stands at his side, watching him watch you.

“She’s doing good,” Rossi comments. “Considering she just started.”

“She’s hiding something,” Hotch says quietly.

“Aren’t we all?” Rossi tries to make light of the moment, though it clearly doesn’t work. “What’s got you spooked?”

Hotch shakes his head slowly. “He recognized her somehow.”

“You’re sure he’s not toying with her?” Rossi asks. “He’s obviously attracted to her. He’s been flirting with her since she stepped in there.”

Hotch can’t explain why but that makes anger burn inside his chest even hotter.

“Relax,” Rossi says. 

“I am relaxed,” Hotch says too quickly, too defensively.

Rossi stares at him. “You’re on edge because she’s here again, and she’s on edge because you’re making her on edge.” He points between the two of you to emphasize his point.

Hotch isn’t ready to back down so easily, but he does ease slightly. 

He is on edge because you’re here again. He was on edge during that case all those years ago for a reason he couldn’t place — he still can’t place it. Not to mention, you seemed determined to push any and every button of his that you could find. And then some. He lost it, you lost it; it was a disaster. He was as happy to leave as you were to see him go. It’s barely been forty-eight hours since you’ve been back and it’s obvious the same pattern is repeating. Only this time, you’re both stuck with one another. For the indefinite future.

Because, at the end of the day, you’re good at your job, and Hotch is glad you’re here because you’re so good at what you do.

Hotch casts his eyes back to Richard. Is he flirting with you? Hotch can’t exactly tell, yet Rossi says he is. Or did Rossi only say it to get a rise out of Hotch? Not unlikely, knowing David. But it doesn’t make it sit any more right with Hotch.

But you’re getting somewhere with him. That’s important; that’s worth focusing on.

Richard admits that there is one person in particular who had it out for him more than the others. The problem is, that person is in prison. Or he’s supposed to be. Because Richard had him framed.

“Already on it,” Rossi says, putting his phone to his ear. He rattles the name off for Garcia and she goes to work.

Inside the room, you’ve leaned over on the table, your chin in your palm. Clearly sympathetic, trying to get more out of Richard.

Hotch sees it now, the way Richard is looking at you. And he doesn’t like it. He straightens, uncrossing his arms, ready to haul you out of there any second. 

+++

You’re getting good information out of him. You haven’t shown him the phone yet, but you will. You wanted him to warm up again first, and he has. You hope Hotch is eating his foot right now from how much he doubted you. And you hope Rossi is laughing at him.

You almost laugh yourself, but you stop, and just in time too, for Richard to throw another curveball your way.

“I think I know what it is,” he says after a moment of looking you up and down — which he won’t stop doing. “You’re all grown up.”

You’re not sure what he’s getting at. “What?”

“Why I didn’t realize it at first,” he continues. “You’re different from the pictures. Older.” He narrows his eyes. “But it’s definitely you.”

“We’re not talking about me,” you redirect him. “We’re talking about Lila.”

“We could talk about you,” he ignores your bait. “Where’d you grow up?”

“Where would he take Lila?” you plow through. “Think about your daughter, Richard. If he has her, where would he take her?”

“He probably just wanted me to turn myself in, the bastard,” Richard says. “Give him a few hours. He’ll let her go.”

“Will he?” you ask. He doesn’t seem at all upset that someone has his daughter. “What about what he’ll do to her? What he’s probably already done?”

He shrugs, then a sinister smirk crawls onto his face. “You were let go without a scratch, weren’t you?”

You can’t hide your reaction. It’s impossible to, when that— that is the last thing you expected him to know.

Before you can react — or realize the laughter you hear is coming from Richard — Hotch is throwing the door open and ordering you out.

“Out, Y/N. Now,” he repeats, glaring at Richard. Not you. Surprisingly.

You stand and leave, your feet working on their own. You pause just outside the room, pulse racing in your ears. The door shuts and Hotch is at your side, looking at you weirdly -- or is that sympathy in his eyes? You don’t know. And you can’t hear a damn thing, but you see Hotch’s mouth moving.

“Y/N,” he says. “I said are you okay?”

“Fine, don’t touch me,” you swat his hand away, not that it was anywhere near your arm. He’s just standing too close and looking at you differently and it’s setting you off all over again. “I’m gonna go get some air.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t try to stop you or lecture you, both of which are a feat for him. He should be proud of himself.

The jab is weak, even in your head. You’re too disoriented to even try something harsher.

You’re out the front doors of the precinct before you can blink, and pacing the sidewalk before you can breathe. 

You still can’t breathe, actually. You can’t at all. That’s a problem.

You lean against one of the BAU cars and try to inhale, but it’s like your lungs refuse to expand. They’re shrinking with every passing second and—

You’re sitting on the ground and someone is hovering over you— No, they’re kneeling. They’re saying your name, saying breathe, and you’re trying, but—

“Look at me, you need to breathe, come on,” Hotch takes your hand and presses it between both of his, trying to ground you. “With me, okay?” He takes in a deep breath and you nod, mirroring him, or trying to. You swear you’re trying.

It takes some time, but eventually your breathing evens out again. Reality comes crashing back to you — and Hotch too, apparently, because you both split apart from one another like you’re burning.

“Thanks,” you say, taking in another deep breath.

“You’re welcome,” Hotch replies. He doesn’t sound at all angry, but he won’t stop looking at you.

“No.”

“No?” he asks.

“No,” you repeat. “I’m not talking about it right now.”

“I wasn’t going to ask.”

You scoff. “Sure.”

He pauses. “We will have to talk about it.”

“For god’s sake,” you mutter, rubbing your forehead with a shaking hand. “Not now. And not until we’re back in Quantico. Okay?”

Surprising you, he nods. “Okay.” He waits another beat, still studying you. “Take your time. Come back in when you’re ready.”

You blink after him as he walks away, wondering if that really was Hotch that you just talked to. And not some nicer alien who replaced him.

+++

When you walk back into the precinct, the entire team tries — and promptly fails — to not give you pitying looks.

“I’m fine,” you bite out when Morgan opens his mouth.

He snaps it closed. “Cool. I was gonna ask if you wanted some coffee.”

No he wasn’t. But you let it slide. “Sure. Thank you.”

You settle down in the conference room next to Reid and JJ. Apparently Emily is trying to talk to Richard now with Hotch and Rossi watching, but you’re not sure how far she’ll get, if anything. He seems done being cooperative now. He got what he wanted. Which, for some reason, was to rattle you to your core.

You’re still just not sure how he even knows any of that. The world of serial killers can’t seriously be that small, can it? There’s no way he could’ve known your father and the man who kidnapped you when you were a kid. 

And how the fuck are you going to explain any of this to Hotch? He’s not going to let it go; you know he won’t. He will corner you the second you’re back in Quantico and demand answers. Even if you tell him to leave it alone, you know he’ll try to find out in other ways. Because he’s a stubborn jackass like that.

“Here,” Morgan says, handing over a steaming cup of coffee.

“Thanks,” you take it and offer a smile in return. He squeezes your shoulder as you take a sip.

It might be police precinct coffee, but it’s good enough, and it helps. That’s about all you can ask for at this point.

The four of you go over what you know so far once again. Garcia calls with no new leads from the most recent rabbit hole Hotch sent her down, and a promise to keep digging. 

“Thanks, Garcia,” you sigh, putting your head down on the table as the call disconnects. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Morgan sighs with you. “I mean it’s been well over the window for—”

“Don’t,” you whisper, but loud enough that he stops. “Don’t say it, please.”

“Sorry, kiddo,” Morgan whispers back, resting a hand on your back.

You lift your head. “We’ll get her back.”

JJ and Reid share the same sad look. You hate it. You hate this.

You were gone for two days when you were a kid. You were found on the morning of the third day. There’s still time. Just because it’s been over twenty-four hours doesn’t mean she’s—

Hotch enters the conference room looking just as disturbed as he was when you left the interrogation room earlier. Rossi and Emily trail behind, both watching you closely.

“Morgan and Reid, I want you to go speak with Mrs. Monroe again. Reid, take a close look at Lila’s room, see if there’s anything at all that we’ve missed. Actually, JJ, go with them. Talk with Mrs. Monroe. Update her on everything.”

The three of them nod and begin gathering their things to head out.

“Prentiss, I want you and Rossi to go back to the area where Lila’s phone was found. Canvas the area, keep open eyes. A few officers are already there to help.”

That leaves you. With Hotch.

“Call me with whatever you find,” Hotch tells them. “No piece of information is too small or insignificant right now.”

“Roger that,” Prentiss nods.

One by one, the team files out of the room, and the door shuts behind them. You swallow thickly.

The conference room suddenly feels far too small.

Hotch pulls out one of the chairs next to you, sitting down. He leans his elbows onto the table, not looking at you. Earlier, he wouldn’t stop looking at you, and now he won’t even meet your eyes. You’re five seconds away from tossing this lukewarm coffee in his face.

“Richard mentioned—”

Make that two seconds. “Hotch,” you interrupt him immediately. “I said I’m not talking about this right now.”

“Richard mentioned,” he starts again, ignoring you, “something earlier that startled you.”

You scoff, pushing back from the table. You need to pace. You can’t sit if he’s going to start hounding you for answers now. Right now, of all times.

“We have a missing kid,” you gesture wildly. “In case you forgot.”

Hotch leans back. “We do. And her father seems to know more about your past than I do.”

“Well, you and I aren’t exactly friends.”

“Are you and Richard Monroe friends?”

“What? No!”

“Is he a family friend?”

You freeze. He’s getting too close to the truth already. “What the hell are you getting at?”

Hotch stands slowly, and you take a step back even though he hasn’t moved toward you at all. He notices the action and tilts his head ever so slightly. Fuck. You’re not going to make it out of this. Not when he reads you like a damn book. 

“When he said you were let go without a scratch,” Hotch presses. “What did he mean?”

You shake your head. “Nothing. He meant nothing by it.”

“Really?” Hotch continues. “If it was nothing, you wouldn’t be trying to flee this room.”

You blink and realize you’re much closer to the door than you thought, your hand reaching behind you for the door knob. You stop, dropping your hand.

“He mentioned your father,” Hotch says evenly. “But wouldn’t give us a name. Why?”

“Ask him,” you growl. “Ask him these questions since he knows me so well.”

“I’m asking you.”

“What?” you yell. “What the hell do you want from me, Hotch?” There are tears pricking your eyes and you hate it. You hate him. “Now is not the time to go digging through my past just because you have it out for me. I get it, okay? I get that I am the last person on this planet that you wanted to join your team. Believe me, you are the last person I wanted to be working under. But these are the cards we were dealt, alright? So I’d appreciate it if you’d just for once in your sorry, stubborn little life show me some goddamn mercy and leave this alone.”

A tear has escaped that you wipe away quickly, pissed that you let it fall in the first place.

Whatever expression he wears, you can’t read it. “If you’re connected to this case, I need to know. If there’s anything—”

“I would’ve fucking told you already,” you hiss, ready to punch him square on the nose. “I told you to drop it. I can’t do this right now.”

His phone rings, saving him from attempting to say anything else that you might want to deck him for. Thankfully, Hotch answers it. 

“Hotchner. Hey Rossi,” he watches you as he talks. And he freezes. “What? Where? How?”

“What happened?” You surge forward, trying to get closer to listen to the call.

Hotch pulls his phone away from his ear and puts it on speaker. Rossi’s voice rushes through.

“An ambulance is taking her to the hospital, but she seems alright,” Rossi says. “We’re going with her.”

“Good, don’t let her leave your sight,” Hotch says. “Are the police canvassing the area?”

“Doing everything they can to look for him.”

“Good. We’re coming to join them.”

You look at Hotch wildly, not exactly excited for sitting in a car with him for hours searching the area for who kidnapped Lila. Not to mention, you seem to be the only one who knows damn well that whoever it was is long gone by now. There’s no way he’s sticking around, or that he’d be dumb enough to turn himself in like Richard.

“We’re not gonna find him,” you mutter.

Both Hotch and Rossi stop talking. “What?” Hotch asks.

“We’re not going to find him,” you repeat. “He’s long gone.”

Both men are quiet. You and Hotch stare at each other. He knows it, too. He knows it’s the truth.

But still, you canvas the area. You sit in the passenger seat as Hotch drives, less reckless than usual. You know it’s no use. You also understand the feeling of guilt that would’ve come if you didn’t at least try.

+++

Lila is sitting up in the hospital bed looking perfectly healthy and intact when you arrive with Hotch. Mrs. Monroe wraps you in a tight hug the second she sees you.

“Thank you,” she says. “For bringing my baby back to me.”

You politely thank her, telling her the entire team helped. You offer a smile to Lila who returns it with a little nod.

You ask some questions, but truthfully, Lila is okay. Shaken up, but she says nothing bad happened. You’re not sure if she’s blocking it out and will one day remember, but all that seems to matter is that she’s back with her mom, and the two appear to be on better terms. 

Unsurprisingly, the man who had Lila didn’t tell her his name. He let her see his face, though, which is odd. Bold of him. Hotch makes sure the police know to get a sketch artist to see Lila for a full picture. 

Hotch asks as pointed behavior questions as he can, but again, Lila says it was fine. He was irritated, grumpy. Seemed to be waiting on something, but didn’t say what. She was in a house not far from here, in the basement. The police have already swarmed it, but it’s empty, of course. They’re collecting evidence, but Hotch isn’t sure what they’ll find, if anything.

Richard Monroe will keep his deal of life in prison, not the death penalty, if he continues to cooperate. The police seem to hope that with the sketch and Lila’s descriptions, Richard might recognize the guy. Or maybe his face will pop up in the FBI’s database, and Richard can answer questions about him. Until any of that happens, though, Richard remains in custody. And still wants to see his daughter.

You’re not sure if Mrs. Monroe will allow it. Your mom didn’t. 

You still don’t know if you wish she would’ve or not. Some days you’re glad she didn’t. Others, like today, you wish she had. There are so many questions you don’t have answers to. So many that you know you’ll never get them all.

[pearlescentparade]

Hiiiiiiiiii!!!! I HAVE RETURNED FOR A REQUEST!!!

Can I get fluff with Traffic (yes, from Phighting, and yes there NEEDS to be more of him 💔) where he's telling you about his travels? Fluff please!

-🌺🌊

around the world 🚥 traffic x reader fluff drabble 💝

your head rests on your hands as you lean on the counter of traffic's mini pop-up stall, intently looking up at its owner. business is slower now that the evening is setting in, and most inphernals are either home or rushing to get there, so traffic has all the time in the inpherno to focus on his lone customer. and though you don't buy anything, he always appreciates some good company.

you softly sigh, your warm breath forming white puffs of smoke in the cold air. "y'know, i don't get out of here as often as i should.. i'm just too used to crossroads, i think i'd perish anywhere else. like a fish out of water." absentmindedly, you glance to one of the colossal green signs towering over the street leading to one of the factions. those have always felt imposing, like it looked down upon you for your nonalignment. being born in crossroads with no allegiance to any faction made you free, but you mourned your lack of a definite culture.

traffic lazily grins, his relaxed expression void of judgement. "that's alright. think you'd change yo' mind if i tell you how it is in those other places? it might help."

you nod immediately. even if you aren't able to be convinced to pick up traveling, you just like to listen to traffic's voice anyway. and you figure he's probably itching to share his experiences. he's mentioned how little he gets to talk to the other vendors.

he leans back in his chair, placing a foot on the counter and bringing a hand to his chin while he thinks. "i always need to wear at least 6 layers when i'm travelling to blackrock, that weather's no joke, dude. they got loads of sweet tech all over the place, though. almost everything is replaced with technology: busses, menus, think i even saw a robotic ball that sprouted legs and brought itself back after it got thrown," traffic mimics a walking motion with his index and middle finger, "craaaazy cool."

"sounds like it came straight out of a dystopian novel.." a shiver travels up your spine at the mental image you've started to conjure up. a faction run completely by machine, with little organic life... compared to crossroads, which is almost always bustling with inphernals and liveliness, blackrock sounded dead and cold. thinking back on all of the blackrockians you've met before, it makes sense why they act that way.

he laughs, and the gems strung across his horns jingle, as if laughing with him. both sounds float away in the night breeze. "yeah, it kinda does. but the snow is real pretty, maybe i should take you to just see that then blast outta there." your eyes light up at his off-handed suggestion of taking you along.

"sounds like a plan." travelling is better with friends, especially with friends who are experts. and more especially with cute friends who are experts. so maaaaybe you'd be a bit more open about going to blackrock if he's coming with.

he continues on, "then there's playground. dude, those guys are jaaccckkeeddd. i almost got jumped one time by one of the gangs there." his hand reaches behind his head to scratch it, as if he should feel awkward about it.

traffic mentions it casually, like it's an everyday experience he's used to. on the other hand, you straighten up and abruptly lean towards him with a worried face painted on your features. "seriously?? did you get hurt??" in your concern, you don't seem to notice how a faint pink dances over traffic's face at how close you are, yet he doesn't lean back to create distance.

playing it cool, he waves it off, "nah, i offered some of my 'supply' and we all got stoned. they were chill after that." despite his reassurance, you sweat. is that really how he should be defusing situations...?

you sigh in disappointment and it almost tugs traffic's usual smile into a frown, his lips twitching slightly downward before quickly reverting back upward. "i hope you're not doing that every time you get into trouble, that stuff has bad long-term effects." it's probably all stuff he's heard before, but you still nag, like he'd actually listen to you. maybe a part of you hoped it would be different if it came from you.

"i heard you can get brain fog and memory problems from it. if you ever forget me, i'll seriously cry. then i'll put you in the ground after." you hold up a clenched fist for emphasis as you narrow your eyes at him. your threat has no true malice behind it, but you still want him to take it seriously.

traffic playfully quirks a brow. "aw, now you're makin' me feel bad." he shifts in his seat and crosses his arms, but not defiantly. "alright, i'll lay off for a while. just for you." then, he has the audacity to point finger guns at you and shoot a wink your way. you simply roll your eyes and groan at his corniness, which earns you a wheezy laugh from him.

after he comes down from his little laughing fit, he resumes his stories. "you've probably never been to a thieves' den festival, eh? the fireworks are a sight, lots of colors and really sweet designs. lots of demons set up a picnic on one of the cliffs and watch with friends and family. we should go together sometime."

"you asking me out?" you tease, naively hoping to catch a glimpse of a flustered traffic.

"yup." your hopes are crushed with his blunt response, and instead, it's you who gets a little embarrassed. out of the kindness of his heart, traffic refrains from laughing, if only for your sake. "though, there's lots of pickpockets there, especially 'round festival time. we'll have to stick kinda close together, that coo'?" he talks like it's already been settled that you're going. but considering your track record of being unable to say no to him, it's a reasonable assumption.

you huff, "oh trust me, i wouldn't dare stray too far from you in a place i know nothing about. i'm gonna cling onto you for dear life."

traffic snorts, finding amusement in the thought of you anxiously holding onto him like the introvert friend at a party. "i wouldn't mind that." because of course he wouldn't. he probably wouldn't even mind it if you climbed him and rode on his shoulders the entire time you guys were there.

you mutter a 'good' under your breath, and he moves on, "finally, there's lost temple. its golden desert goes for miiiiiles. 's great to look at but not to hike through... i'm still shaking the sand out of my shoes weeeeks after." he chuckles, a husky noise. "the jewelry is real gorgeous, though. super detailed craftsmanship and stuff, dude."

"ooh, you wanna bring back any for me?" when you ask, you mean it rhetorically, as silly banter. like you're half-expecting traffic to say 'nah', even if you know it's not in his nature.

but there's an earnest look in traffic's eyes when he asks, "don't need to if we're going together, right?" and he holds a hand out, like he's inviting you to go now, even though the both of you know fully well you're going nowhere when it's so dark out.

for a moment, you simply look at his hand, as if you have no clue what to do with it. "you're really bent on that, huh? you don't even have the courtesy to be discreet about it.."

but it only delays the inevitable of your hand joining his, slotting almost perfectly on top. he feels rough, but enticingly warm. it doesn't help when his fingers gingerly move to enclose around yours, ensnaring them in a trap of tenderness.

"my bad, i'm just excited to have a travel buddy, 's all."

(parade postscript: im the damn dialogue disciple but it cant be helped when the whole premise of the drabble is traffic yapping + you don't switch locations and stay at his fuckass stall the whole time </3 also guys im a licensed driver now)

[starlit-typewriter]

Genshin SAGAU, Creator of Teyvat, but not Humanity Part 5

This chapter was like pulling teeth, I swear I switched POV's like 3 times.

Thank you guys so much for reading! Just as a heads up future chapters will be much much slower to update since real life hast decided to reassert it's presence. That being said, enjoy!

Warning for Spoilers up to 4.6

Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part

~~~

The sharp edge of a sword hovered extremely close to your face. Its wielder's furious golden eyes stared you down.

“Who are you, how did you get here?” They demanded, their floating companion hovering behind their shoulder anxiously, watching this exchange.

For some reason, even though your life was being threatened, you struggled to feel any sense of fear or urgency. That’s probably something you should revisit when you didn’t have a sharp weapon pointed at you.

But you did, so you should pay attention to that, shouldn’t you.

Oh, but you haven’t, you’ve probably been silent for a while, getting lost in thought.

You redirect your attention back to your current situation. 

You are in this fancy bedroom you don’t recognize, whilst being threatened at sword point by a pretty teenager you don’t recognize.

Great, go brain, you can do things!

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for an explanation.

“I don’t mean any harm,” you say, slowly. 

The teen in question didn’t seem to believe you. They narrowed their eyes further, actually they were really pretty. Not just the teen themselves, though they are quite pretty, but their eyes sparkled like molten gold, not a common eye color at all.

Now that you think of it, are golden eyes even real? Don’t you need contacts to get golden eyes?

Oh wait, you’ve gotten off track, you’re being threatened.

They were saying something, their mouth was moving and you missed all of it.

You blinked, “sorry could you repeat that I didn’t hear it,” you asked politely, hoping they wouldn’t get mad at the request.

Oh looks like they did, considering how they’re clenching their teeth, they don’t look particularly pleased with you.

Well, you suppose it is rather rude to ignore someone mid confrontation.

Why were you in a confrontation anyways, you weren’t a particularly confrontational person, you liked to avoid drama whenever possible.

You probably shouldn’t be here, you realized. It’d be nice if you were somewhere else, like a nice park or a meadow or something.

Just as you finished your train of thought your surroundings changed.

The chirping of birds and the warmth of the sunlight distracted you from your earlier train of thought. 

You were in a lovely meadow, with beautiful golden flowers and a gigantic tree with blue crystalline branches.

It seemed rather empty though, which was a bit of a shame considering how nice it is, but you were hardly going to complain about having the entire place to yourself.

You started walking through the meadow, when a slight pain in your foot distracted you.

You checked to see that you were pricked by a rather sharp piece of gravel. 

That’s weird, why are you barefoot outside? Now that you think about it, your clothes are rather strange.

It’s this white flowy garment, reminiscent of the clothing worn by Ancient Grecians. 

But you weren’t cold at all, it was honestly quite comfortable. 

Wait, what were you thinking about again.

Oh right, you’re talking a walk in this pretty meadow!

~~~

The Wanderer, or well, Hat Guy as people now know him sighed as he flipped through a tedious book about the Origins of the Production of Wood Lacquer in Inazuma and its Effects on Weaponry. 

Unfortunately for him, I was there, does not count as a citable source if he doesn’t have the receipts to prove it. Now he has to sort through all these old books to find one with the information he needs to prove his point.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar figure examining the shelves.

It seems that they noticed him too, judging by the white haired fairy’s flailing. How troublesome.

“What are you doing here,” she whispered fiercely, at least she had enough decency to not raise her voice in a library.

He looked over at his piles of books and papers covering his workstation, and then back at her, wondering if she actually expected an answer to such an obvious question.

She seemed to realize that too, considering the sheepish look she adopted. “Well, you can’t blame me for being curious. You don’t seem like a big library kind of guy.”

“I’m not,” he replied curtly, turning back to his workstation. “Trust me, if I had it any other way, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

Yet somehow, him turning his back to them and ignoring their presence wasn’t hint enough of his lack of enthusiasm to engage in conversation with the two, since they ended up hovering over his shoulder, attempting to read his papers and more importantly, distracting him from his work.

He swears, if he could get a headache, he would. He ends up slapping his hand on top of his notes, disrupting their reading and whipped his head back to give them the most annoyed glare he can.

It doesn’t work, because of course it doesn’t.

Instead the Traveler just gave him a smug smirk, they did this on purpose to annoy him, which makes it worse because he fell for it.

“What do you want,” he gritted out, knowing they won’t let him have his peace until they’re satisfied.

“I need to speak with Nahida,”

Wanderer scoffed at that, “then why are you bothering me? Did the Matra turn you away at the door and now you're begging for my help to get you in?”

“Not at all,” the Traveler smiled, “I just wouldn’t mind your insight on the topic as well,”

“Plus we couldn’t find her in the Sanctuary of Surasthana, ” Paimon chimed in.

He couldn’t stop himself from pulling a face at that inane statement, “Why would she be in the Sanctuary of Surasthana?”

“It’s where we’d meet up with her before,”

“That’s because she didn’t have any rooms or offices of her own,” he explained slowly, like he was talking to a child, well he probably was considering the intellect of the white haired one. “Why would she willingly go back to her prison of 500 years when she now has the resources of all of Sumeru to build herself a new place.”

The white haired fairy in question made an exaggerated face of revelation that he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at.

He looks at his notes longingly, well not quite longingly, it’s still quite annoying, but its bound to be less troublesome than whatever the Traveler has planned.

Sighing to himself, he gathered up his notes and research and headed to the exit of the House of Daena, the Traveler and Paimon hot on his heels.

The three made their way up the winding paths of the Akademya. The puppet ignores all the glances and whispers garnered by the students and visitors alike, and moves as fast as he can without breaking into an outright run.

It doesn’t take long for them to arrive at The Dendro Archon’s new residence. Designed by the Light of Kshahrewar himself, its a beautiful structure with many windows and balconies, designed to be everything the Sanctuary was not. 

He headed straight in, the Matra having long gotten used to his frequent comings and goings with the Dendro Archon. He honestly doesn't know what reasoning they’ve decided on to explain why Lesser Lord Kusanali spends so much time with him, and honestly he couldn’t care less. It’s simply the fact that they couldn’t keep their mouths shut and now he has to deal with complete strangers coming up to him in an attempt to learn more about her.

He could hear the other two, awing at the architecture as they made their way in. Privately he did appreciate the architect's tact in designing this building. Whilst still made in the classic rounded Sumeru fashion, he managed to avoid any references to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, ensuring that there weren't many large empty spaces or darkened ceilings.

He knew she still avoided the building whenever she could, even though she rejected his proposition to have it torn down. It’s a curious relationship, for whilst it was her prison for so long, it was also the only place she knew and could call home.

Regardless of the matter, it wasn’t for him to pry.

Before long he had reached her office, offering a cursory knock before barging his way in. If she had a problem with his way of entering her rooms and offices she would've long told him to stop, but she didn’t so he didn’t.

It was a lot messier than he’d seen it last. Papers and reports scattered around the office, stacked in messy piles on her desk.

Lesser Lord Kusanali blinked up at him from where she was seated, before breaking into a smile when the Traveler and Paimon walked in.

She greeted them with enthusiasm, moving out from behind her desk to talk to them properly.

He tuned out the rest of their small talk, it was nothing more than empty pleasantries to fill the air before they got the actually important parts that were relevant to his presence.

“-ject Stuzha,”

He blinked, focusing back onto the topic of conversation. 

“Hmm, I must admit I haven’t seen many records on this project before,” the Dendro Archon said, her expectant gaze turning to him. 

He couldn't help but bristle slightly at the attention. “I’ve already given you most of the information I have about the Fatui.”

“Most is not all,” she replied simply, “and besides, from what the Traveler just said it seems to be something they’re mobilizing all their forces on.”

Logically he knew that it would be in everyone’s best interests if he told them all he knew about the project, but old habits die hard. The Tsaritsa’s court was nothing more than the world most extensive chess game. Every action and movement had to be calculated to give the player the best advantage, every scrap of information hard won. 

As much as it rankled him to admit, he was only the 6th Harbinger and the Director only gave out as much information as was strictly required, no more no less. But he did have some information, some he was given, some through sleuthing and others through his own conjecture.

He warned them of that before launching into an explanation of what he had seen and figured out.

“From the timing of things, it is clear that Project Stuzha is related to the gnosis, especially since the only one of the seven that they’re missing is the Pyro Gnosis.” His audience nodded at that assumption.

“It’s also related in some way to the state of things in Teyvat and the survival of humanity as a species. As things stand, Teyvat is becoming more and more inhabitable for regular humans. With ley line disorders, abyssal energy and dead godly remains lurking about. Project Stuzha is supposed to fix that, permanently.”

“But how,” Paimon interrupted, her head darting back and forth in confusion. 

“No idea,” he shrugged, “All I know is that it has something to do with the Abyss.”

“The Abyss? I thought that place had nothing but monsters and dead gods?”

Wanderer shook his head at that, “That’s just a common misconception. There’s actually the remains of an entire world down there. A human world.”

Both the Traveler and Paimon looked shocked at that statement. 

He’d already shared this information with Lesser Lord Kusanali so she didn’t look surprised, but she was deep in thought.

“I didn’t know that there were entire realms banished to the abyss, and I thought Enkanomiya was creepy.”

“It wasn't banished,” he refuted, “From my investigations, it seems that the civilization was built and founded there.”

There was a moment of silence as they contemplated his words.

“That brings up more questions about the origins of humans,” Lesser Lord Kusanali commented, “Irregardless of that, I believe you had another question for us Traveler?”

“Oh right!,” Paimon chimed in, looking over to the Traveler who stepped forward.

“We’re looking more into the blessings that keep happening and we'd like to hear your opinion of it.” They paused, looking between the two of them.

“Ah,” the Dendro Archon paused, looking at Wanderer.

“The thing is, we've already tried,”

“And failed.” He couldn’t help but add, to quash any hope that the duo may have.

“What do you mean by failed!” The fairy gasped.

“Well, that’s not exactly the case,” she tried to reassure. “It’s more like, there weren’t any results where we were looking. ”

“That’s just another way to say you found nothing!”

“Actually Paimon, finding nothing gives you a lot of information about where it is found!” She explained. “The thing is, the blessings we experienced aren’t connected to Irminsul in any way, so we can conclude that it originated from somewhere outside of Teyvat.”

”Does that mean that it can’t be tracked?” The Traveler asked, 

”Hmm, well from our experiences, it’s quite easy for those who’ve been blessed to recognize each other since they can feel each other’s blessing, but the range for that is no more than the size of two Sumpter Beasts.”

That was an irritating experience, having to stand in the middle of Sumeru City for hours as that annoying forest watcher had to try to find him through only his blessing. It took over half the day before they concluded that the energy of the blessing was far too weak to use as a tracking mechanism.

Thankfully, any experiments they had were benign and didn’t involve anything close to what he imagined that damned doctor attempted to inflict on Tartaglia before being shut down by the Tsaritsa. 

If that were the case he’d probably have hated the flame flickering in his hollow chest a lot more. 

Well, hate is a strong word. He didn’t deny that having the blessing made him a lot stronger than he ever was previously and on some level is grateful for its calming warmth. But a private part of him wished it had appeared to him sooner.

Logically he understood that the blessings were in some way connected to the Traveler and that they hadn’t appeared until well after his appointment as a Harbinger.

But the other small quiet part of him wonders just how different his life could’ve been had this blessing appeared before that. 

Would he have been able to save Niwa, or that little boy. Maybe even the Sho-

No

He can’t go down that train of thought.

What’s done is done and all he can do now is attempt to make amends and move on.

He tuned back into the topic only to find them talking about some kind of dessert they had in fontaine. Ugh.

He waited,

And waited,

And waited some more.

…

This conversation was taking too long.

And he isn’t even in it!

“Can I leave,” he butted in, realizing that their conversation is never going to go back to anything useful.

“Oh I’m sorry, are we interrupting your incredibly important work about glazeworks or something,” Pamon mocked.

Ignoring her he turned to the Dendro Archon who looked delighted. 

“You’re still working on the new essay?” She exclaimed, clapping her hands together in delight. 

He felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. “I would’ve had it done a week ago, if someone actually let me use accurate sources,” he snapped.

“Oh come on, it’s not so bad. Besides, how are you going to explain how Hat Guy knows so much about ancient Inazumen weapon crafting techniques that have been lost to time.”

“You could vouch for me,”

“But that wouldn’t be fair to all the other students now would it.”

He took a deep breath, remembering how he’d already tried and failed to argue his case a week prior, “so can I go or what?”

“Oh course, what kind of Archon of Wisdom would I be if I prevented learning and research!”

He took that as his cue to leave, stomping out of her office, faintly hearing the fairy commenting about how she’s surprised that he’s actually doing his schoolwork.

As if he’d let some inconsequential mortal get better grades than him.

Besides, being the top of his class means that he won’t have any irritating students come up to him and ask if he needs help or offer tutoring.

Of course, being top of his class also means that there are now people coming to him to ask for tutoring or help. 

But at least those are easier to turn away.

Hopefully he doesn’t get interrupted anymore today, if so he should be able to finish this reference by tonight. 

~~~

Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part

Things are heating up huh!

I wonder where our dear creator has found themselves. Oh and don't worry too much about their state of mind, that will come up again soon!

Taglist: @bunniotomia,@lucid-stories, @ymechi, @chocogi,  @ra404, @ash1, @esthelily, @tottybear, @mmeatt, @quacking-simp, @reemthetheme, @universallyenthusiastsage, @resident-cryptid, @fantasyhopperhea, @thedevioussmirk, @etherisy, @naynayaa

Once again, my ask box is open if you'd like to join the taglist or just leave comments or questions. I promise I don't bite!

[essentiallyleaf]

day 24. car sex. with. ningning.

1286 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, car sex, Z O O M I N, deepthroating, semi-public sex, a bit of classic existential dread.

notes.

it is so fucking late i gotta go. speedily, leaf.

It’s at times like these that you want to treasure the most precious resource you have. The sun just sank down the horizon of Alpha-Earth, giving the sky this vibrant, electric aura, from the golden and pastel blue West to the indigo East. Hundreds of headlights leave long trails of yellowish white and rusty red all along the highway, almost as if the lines were already there, and the cars just following their predetermined paths. Your right foot pushes down, getting closer and closer to the asphalt. They can call you old-fashioned, but you love the growl of the rear combustion engine, the sound of rubber on tarmac. Time. They say it gets slower as you approach light speed, you’re far from it, but it’s almost like the clock’s hands move slower as the speedometer needle reaches new peaks. Nothing feels as close to God as this. The car takes a life of its own, and you wish you could simply close your eyes and, feel. The thrill you get when you’re on top of a tall building, and part of you wants to take a step. Those are also just passing moments, you think as you lift and return to cruise speed.

Ningning is beside you like she, sometimes is. Her hand falls on your pants-clad dick and starts rubbing like it does almost every single one of those times; the other times you’re already naked. Not the first time this happens in the car, even at high speed, so you simply turn auto-pilot on (they forced everyone to install it even on cars built before 2035) and let your head fall back in pleasure as she reaches inside your underwear to caress your bare length. Your right hand naturally goes to her almost naked back, needing to feel her skin under your finger pads.

She doesn’t dress to impress; sometimes she doesn’t dress at all. And the navy skintight rags she’s wearing today, well, those almost qualify as the latter. You’re in your usual attire, combat boots, cargo pants, the ones that tighten at the ankle, a close-fitting long sleeve shirt and a windbreaker. She needs your help to lower your pants and underwear, then goes back to stroking your cock, spitting on it for lubrication and reaching down to fondle your scrotum from time to time, causing you to moan up towards the roof of the car.

“Mmmh- Ning?”

“Huh?”

“Mind speeding the process up a little?”

Ningning likes to take her time, you learned that long ago. To make you look at her as she pulls the little lever on the side of your seat to move it backwards, positions herself between your legs, and stamps one long wet kiss on your tip. Or to observe people strolling at the night market, mothers buying their sons balloons, couples eating tanghulu (“You can tell if they’re good kissers just by looking at that” “Want to try with me?” “There’s a more hands-on way”; that was your first shared kiss, and it was more than just hands, on one another’s bodies after that). Right now her blue-tinted eyes are on yours, as her mouth surrounds more and more of your cock and she starts to feel her eyes watering and her lungs lacking air. She resists for almost fifty seconds this time - a good one, though not in her top five - drawing more than a groan from you before she has to back out and seek for oxygen.

“Are you okay?” She nods quickly, her hands cleaning up some of the drool that has accumulated on the sides of her mouth. “I need you right now, Ning.”

Ningning smiles and snorts lightly like she has you in the palm of her hand, and at the same time she has to concede this one to you. You stare at her open-mouthed as she somehow rids herself of her clothes, revealing her supple breasts and thick outer lips to you, and only thanks to your tinted windows not to any car around yours. She straddles your lap and wraps her arms around your neck to kiss you deeply while you grab onto one of her plump thighs with one hand and align your shaft with her already wet slit with the other. Her eyes are finally closed as she focuses on the feeling of your tip swiping up and down her vulva, brushing on her clit at every passage.

She’d been looking outside for almost all the trip, scrutinizing every detail of the gray and neon skyline of Nu-Seoul. Ningning has always had her own, unique wide-angle lens on the world. She has a little plant shelf right below her window in her apartment. It’s in one of those old, gray, samey buildings they were plopping one next to the other back when a growing world population wasn’t just a myth; the place is small and the plaster falling apart. One day she was sitting in front of the window, staring at the new little blossoms on the orchid, or at the bland, shiny neons on the skyscraper behind it, you couldn't really tell.

“Do you ever feel like the world is moving too fast for you?” She asked, sounding dispirited.

“I try to stay on pace”

“I feel… impotent. Like there’s nothing I can do, to change it”

“Do you think it’s on you to change it?”

“I think it’s on me to try.” She turns her gaze towards you, you let out a little sigh.

“When it’s just the two of us,” You sit beside her and wrap your arm around her back. “We can make what we want of our time. Make it speed up, slow down… It’s just ours. No one will ever take that away from us”

What you’re making of it now is pumping your dick in and out of her pussy while gripping onto her full asscheeks while she whimpers in your mouth at the sensation of her hole being stretched. She loves that feeling like she loves the feeling of wet grass on her feet when it’s raining, though meadows are but a distant memory in a city eaten by cement and desolation. Her soft, tight walls squeezing you in a humid embrace. You were wrong; this is what makes you feel like you’re touching the Infinite, reaching Eternity. Ningning moaning in bliss on your lips, on the crook of your neck, on the headrest of the driver’s seat. Her hands not finding rest, switching between your pecs, your jaw, your hips, and her own heat, digits circling at frenzied pace on her clit. You speed your thrusts up, time slows down. It’s a race ending in a photo finish; you can see the end, it’s close for both parties, but you never seem to reach it. Take a look at her pleasured state, savor the moment. Savor her tits as well, feast on them, then slap her ass once, twice. She wasn’t expecting it, her instinctive reaction is to drag her pelvis forwards towards you, giving you a different angle to attack. Exploit that to hit every crevice, every little patch you weren’t able to before, and as she contracts around you in one long, then multiple short and rhythmic flexes of her lower abdomen, each accompanied by a scream that fills the entire cockpit, you have your own release. Spill cups and cups of milky substance into her womb, every spurt coinciding with an upwards thrust and a small bite on her shoulder, as you continuously groan in complete bliss. Then it’s silence, a second, or an eternity, it doesn’t matter anymore, before she talks again.

“Back seat for round two? I want it from behind”

-

footnotes.

now i can’t unsee the asthma periods. you cursed me @erospandemos. gaspingly, leaf.

[decadeofjoy-au]

PART 5 OF THE DECADE OF JOY STORY

Title: Hallway Stalkers

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776920501597749248/tdoj-story-part-1

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776942253990150144/part-2-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/776958445399261184/part-3-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

Part 4: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/777039601386864640/part-4-of-the-decade-of-joy-story

SETTING: location undetermined.

MAIN CHARACTER: Maria Harper

OCS in this part and their owners.

Caleb-icanexplainwhythisisabadname

Maria Harper-TDOJ

Handyman-TDOJ

Clarance the Clayman-TDOJ

Doey the Doughman

Handyman walked through the empty hallway, leading the two children along. Despite their size, their foot steps were as light as a feather. The mannequin made sure to check behind corners and make sure approaching rooms were empty as the group walked. Maria held tightly onto her bat before looking up at Handyman and letting out a hum whilst narrowing her eyes. They can’t talk and Caleb can’t see…alright then…guess she’s a translator now... She begun to walk slower as to get behind Caleb, just incase anything attacked the group from behind. After all…SHES the one with the weapon here. Well…the ONLY one with a weapon here. Tsk…unless she wants to count that mannequin’s brute strength…it knocked the wind outta her with just how hard that thing snatched on her hoodie. Well…it DID help the two of them from that ugly purple cat…so she probably shouldn’t be complaining all too much. She was suddenly knocked out of her thoughts as she bumped into Caleb.

Maria: “Agh-! Hey? What’s with the sudden stop, big guy?!”

She glared, looking over at Handyman. Handyman looked at her before ignoring the question all together. Maria scowled at the look they had given her. Ugh, why’s its face gotta be stuck in that one position…? It’s almost worse than having to look at Bobby’s permanent smile…Caleb begun to roam around the room as Handyman stared at the large gate blocking their path. Maria noticed this and walked over to them before looking to examine the gate as well. She let out a huff and looked to the side, scratching her head. Maria walked over to Caleb as Handyman’s gaze slowly drifted to a security camera.

Maria: “Hey, Caleb, you s- hear anything? Like uh…anybody coming our way..”

Caleb: “uhh, nope. Not a thing.”

Maria: “..good. good…Just…let me know if you hear anything weird. Kay?”

Caleb: “Aye Aye, Captain.”

Maria was about to say something else before she heard a loud crash and a bang. She instantly turned to look at whatever had caused it only to see Handyman standing over a destroyed security camera. It took her a moment to regain her composure but when she finally did, she glared at them. God…do they HAVE to be so loud? Once Handyman was sure that the camera was destroyed, they looked back at the gate and touched the hand scanner, letting it scan their hand before stepping back as it slowly opened. Maria looked at Caleb and whispered for him to come on before turning and running after Handyman to catch up. The hallway was dark but not so dark that it was hard to see. Caleb grabbed onto Maria’s sleeve as the group continued onwards. As they walked, Caleb stepped on something…soft. He immediately jerked his foot away from it with a disgusted look, causing Maria to stop and look back.

Caleb: “Eugh! Please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is…”

Maria: “No…luckily for you. it’s…playdough. Actually…there’s a LOT of playdough in this hallway…”

Handyman froze up and immediately looked at their surroundings. Maria looked at Handyman before looking back down at the playdough. Doey. She frowned and started to walk faster, grabbing onto Handyman and pulling them along. The further down the hall the group traveled, the more playdough and other dough-like things that saw lying around. Playdough, Clay, Putty…but specifically Playdough. Mostly Cyan and Orange with a few bits of Yellow and Red here and there. Maria was about to speed up when Handyman grabbed onto her, forcing her to stop. Maria went to protest but quickly fell silent as she then heard it. Stomping. Weird…gooey stomping. Maria looked at the group before whispering.

Maria: “you guys hear that..?”

The stomping suddenly stopped when she spoke before quickening. Getting closer, faster, louder…Handyman immediately snatched Maria and Caleb by the arm and hid behind a particularly large amount of purple and pink putty, having to duck low to hide them all. Just as they did this, a giant dough-like toy appeared from the shadows. Made up of mostly cyan dough with orange, yellow and red dough forming hand symbols on his stomach. He looked around before looking up at a nearby camera and then at the opened gate. He sighed, his face scrunching up into a scowl. He face palmed before slowly dragging himself over to it to try and close it.

Doey: “🟧I thought Scout said that she closed this thing…🟧 -🔻ugh…do I really have to do everything around here!?🔻” …sigh… “🟧it’s fine. It’s fine. Someone…probably just opened it. And forgot to close it.🟧 -🔻Yeah…🔻- 🟡Yeah! That’s probably it. Hehe!🟡”

He smiled to himself and reached up to grab the gate before quickly slamming it down, closing it. He made sure that he hadn’t broken it from the sheer amount of force he had used before turning and walking back down the hall, his foot steps loud enough to echo down. Handyman peaked out from the corner just in time to see the doughman push himself through a small vent in the floor. It was almost comedic how a toy as big as him could shove his body into such a tiny space. Handyman waited a few seconds for him to leave before cautiously moving to get up, though they Immediately ducked down again as a pile of clay on the floor begun moving…and slowly shifting and molding itself until it finally took on the shape of what looked like a…humanoid lizard…? He grabbed onto a dark bowtie on the ground before putting it on his neck. He didn’t seem to notice the group, as he was too busy making his way further down the halls. Caleb, noticing that the group wasn’t moving decided to speak up.

Caleb: “what? What happened?

Maria: “I- hey er-…Handy..man. Is the coast clear?”

Handyman continued to stare at where the Clayman had ran before snapping out of it. They looked at Maria then gave a thumbs up before standing up to their full height, pulling up Caleb with them. Maria sighed and stood up.

Maria: “we’re good, Caleb. Let’s keep moving.”

———

[jelliefantasy]

blurb that I needed to get out of my system

Smut warning! mdni

insert literally any male character of your choice

you don't know how you ended up in this position.

It was a lazy night and you were already in nothing but a big shirt and panties with your hair in a messy bun. He was in sweats and a loose shirt. You had set up on the couch for your nightly tv time with each other which usually ended with someone falling asleep and the other one dragging them to bed. You thought tonight was going to be no different, till he tapped your check with his two fingers, signalling you to turn your face towards him.

At first it was a harmless make out sesh, slow and sensual with the only purpose of it being close to one another. But when he guided his hands onto your hips and slowly maneuvered you onto his lap, you couldn't help the sigh that left your lips in between gasps of air.

As the kiss intensified, you absentmindedly started to grind down onto his lower abdomen, hoping to relieve some of the slowly building tension that was growing in your core. you didn't realize the effect your actions had on him till he let out a groan after a particularly hard grind of your hips to his pelvis. you finally separate after what feels like an eternity and you both gasp for air.

you only get a few breaths in before you're being lifted from off the couch towards your bedroom, his hands planted firmly on your ass carrying you like you weigh nothing. he pushes the already ajar door open with his foot and wastes no time before placing throwing you onto the bed and you let out a slight giggle that sounded more like a squeal.

you crawl to the top of the bed leaning back onto the many pillows you insisted you needed. after taking off his shirt he crawled his way up to you before meeting your lips once again in a deeper embrace than the last. unlike the last one, this one was slower and felt like there was more purpose to it. after breaking from the embrace once again, he kissed his way to your jaw, then your neck, and finally landing on your collarbone before his hands move to your lower half.

he caressed your thighs which were resting atop his thighs, making your cores as close as possible, then slowly he guided his hands to his hips, right were the band of your panties were. he slides them just enough to have access to your at this point aching pussy. you were so entranced in his lips that were still attacking your collarbone, you hadn't even realized what his fingers were up to until you felt his pointer and index finger ease their way into your entrance.

your head tilted back at the unexpected -but not unwanted- pleasure. as his fingers set a steady rhythm for themselves, his other hand busied itself with removing your shirt. once you picked up on what he was trying to do, you crossed your arms and lifted your shirt above your head as it found its place on the floor next to his previously discarded shirt.

your hands found themselves in his hair as his mouth traveled to your nipple, hand on the other. once his fingers had started to pick up speed, you started to tug slightly at his hair, feeling a knot in your stomach. your whines growing louder and louder with every slight curl of his slender fingers. "f-fuckk.." you moaned out as you were seconds away from releasing.

once he noticed you were getting close, he moved his thumb to your clit to give you the last needed push over the edge. "shit! I'm cumming..!" you moaned and gripped his hair with whatever strength you could manage. he helped you ride out your high before pulling out his webbed fingers that were covered in your slick.

moving up from his spot on your breasts, he made sure that your eyes were locked before bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean of you. his eyes rolled slightly before fluttering shut after tasting you. you bit you lip to suppress any noise that threatened to escape from your lips. "so fuckin sweet baby.." his fingers slid out of his mouth before he leaned into your lips so you could taste yourself. the kiss was sloppy and slow while you explored each others mouths.

separating from the kiss, you feel a sense of confidence surge through you and you push him slightly till he's where you were situated on the bed, your thighs straddling his. leaning close to his ear, you whisper "your turn."

AHEM okay sorry that took longer than expected and I definitely could continue it but for now that's all that needed to be out of my system so you can make up the rest!!!!!

[cptn-m]

Wind and Truth Review

This review is spoiler-free for Wind and Truth but may contain mild, implicit spoilers for previous Stormlight books.

Brandon Sanderson has a particular way of writing finales. They are big and bombastic and bring foreshadowing from the whole story to bear while plot threads cascade into one another, resolving in sequence. The POV begins to shift rapidly to accommodate the sheer amount of story in play and the prose becomes simple and plain - abandoning all pretense of subtlety - to stay out of the way of the action. Wind and Truth is an experiment with writing not just a final act but a whole final book in this style, for better and for worse.

WaT makes a rough first impression. Even with its aspirations of being a 1,300 page, foot-to-the-floor final act, it still needs to start with slower scenes to provide a calm before the storm and a chance for the cast to have intimate and emotional moments with their friends, family and partners before embarking into battles they know they might not return from. This section of the book does not gel with the simple prose and constant headhopping at all. Without explosive action to back it up, the language feels stilted and the prose seems to beat you over the head with the intended takeaway from every interaction. When you don't even get to spend a full chapter in one POV, it's hard to get immersed in the atmosphere of these would-be cosy scenes.

There's also a steady issue of humour and modernised language in these early chapters. A lot of quippy lines and juvenile bits that just do not land. And while Stormlight has always had the characters speak in a more modern tone compared to most other fantasy, it really pushes the limits of immersion here. Particularly in the therapy scenes - this is a world where the idea of any mental healthcare beyond 'ignore it' and 'stuff em in an asylum' is a couple of months old at most, but the cast is suddenly dropping recognisable technical real world terms for afflictions and coping strategies in a way that feels way too on the nose. Mental health has always been a big theme in Stormlight, but previous books had a little more faith in readers to put together what the characters were dealing with and which strategies helped them make positive progress without rubbing our noses in the precise therapy speak for it.

Finally, there are plot threads that while functional on a technical level never quite reach the levels of emotional connection they were supposed to have as the story buckles under the sheer size of its cast. Ten Heralds and nine Unmade (with ridiculous hyphenated names) on top of the actual main and supporting cast is a crazy amount for even the most dedicated reader to keep track of, and they most of them haven't had enough presence as individuals to cement a place in memory outside their collective. I was losing track of which ones we've seen before and which ones we've just heard of; which ones have been driven made by the centuries and who can still be reasoned with; who is associated with what abilities and has their fingerprints on which parts of this sprawling plot.

Things click more into place more after the opening downtime is out of the way and the plot gets in gear. The action that justifies the shallow prose starts to happen, and the big lore bombs and plot reveals overshadow the unsubtle and unfunny parts of the character writing.

The core conceit of this one is that both sides of the war know that the climactic, conflict-ending confrontation will happen in ten days and there will be no more gaining or losing territory after that point. For some of the core cast, this means a quest to complete or a puzzle to solve within the time limit to prepare for that last confrontation. For others, it means holding ground against an enemy who wants to control as much of the landmass as possible when the ceasefire is called. Sanderson somehow manages to leverage the time limit in two directions at once. When you're with the questers and puzzle solvers, ten days feels like a terrifyingly short amount of time to finish everything they're trying to do. But then the perspective shifts to a defender on the front lines, facing assault after assault, and ten days feels like an eternity to endure. The ability to turn the atmosphere from time pressure to survival marathon on a dime without feeling like it's contradicting itself is one of the great, redeeming victories of this book's writing.

The central arcs and personal journeys that the main characters have to face are also strong across the board, and do justice to the people we spent the past four books coming to know and love. The story feels deliberate and planned, with foreshadowing and loose ends from the first book through to the fourth finally coming together and paying off. Bombs drop, sending shockwaves that will define not just the direction of the second arc of the Stormlight Archive, but of all the connected works in the Cosmere going forward. While I'm in no hurry to do so, a reread of everything that's come before this with the benefit of hindsight will likely be a very rewarding experience. WaT feels like a vital seed for the planned endgame of Sanderson's one of a kind fantasy extended universe.

(That said, I might dock a point for some similarities to how the finale of the first Mistborn trilogy played out in terms of revealing ancient history and playing with the powers of competing gods. WaT changes enough that it's only one point, but I'll be disappointed if we get a third iteration of these ideas.)

Wind and Truth is everything Brandon Sanderson does well and everything he struggles with all amped up to eleven and put in a blender. It's bold and epic and conceptually ambitious with larger than life characters who are easy to love; and it's bloated and unsubtle and linguistically unambitious and frontloaded with "jokes" that are easy to hate. Sanderson claims WaT to be his most heavily edited book to date, but I have to assume that's all structural edits to fit all these plot threads into one tome without cutting so much they no longer make sense. There is no way to give a book this long the line by line polish it needs with only a year between the completion of the first draft and its release, and it shows. If you're already invested in this universe and these characters there's a lot here that will satisfy, but I hope the next big release gets a little longer in the oven to make the prose into something that lives up to the lofty narrative ideas.

[protectorcraft]

what is the schrsto au (if u can speak on it).... stares at u with my wide curious eyes

hmmmm............................ wuelll i suppose i can speak on it now that its not. 6am.

ramblin under the cut lol

schrsto au (shorthand name) takes place ehhhhh about a year or so after the defeat of the king. everyone's in post game, more or less! the four saviors (mira, odile, siffrin, and bonnie), alongside nille and amber (a cat) have been traveling vaugarde for awhile now, and return to dormont at the anniversary of The End Of The End Of The World to regroup and discuss their next plans- whether theyll continue traveling together, split up for the time being, where they should go, etc etc you get itttttt

of course, once they arrive in dormont, things are going great! foooor about. two days. then things start getting weird. the group gets oddly tense and anxious, weird things are happening around town (have been happening since they left a year ago, apparently), and now nille's friends are behaving strangely.

siffrin's been zoning out more often and for longer stretches, mira's getting paranoid, bonnie refuses to set foot in the house, and odile of all people is having fairly frequent nightmares. nille- the only one unaffected by this (besides the cat)- decides to see if she can do something to help.

in her scouring for solutions, however, she manages to accidentally dig up something that should probably have been left buried. things proceed to spiral out of control from there.

extra little notes: - bonnie is almost always wearing the cape. they like it because its cozy and it makes them look like frin and belle! - siffrin's a bit more distant after they beat the king. it's not a severe change in behavior, but it's notable. he seems to be more nightmare and hallucination prone, and will sometimes zone out for short periods. It's Probably Fine. - amber was a stray they found upon revisiting jouvente. her collar led to a locked, empty apartment and the group came to the conclusion that her owner abandoned her while trying to flee the curse. bonnie proceeded to beg their sister and odile to let them keep her. - when it didnt work initially, mirabelle and siffrin chipped in their thoughts. and by chipping in their thoughts i mean siffrin bombarded them with nonstop cat puns until they gave. - nille and siffrin get along like a house on fucking fire. it's deeply concerning for everyone else. theyre banned from going on adventures alone together. they do it anyways. - mirabelle's just started to properly unpack her situation with attraction, with the help of siffrin of course. it's been going far slower, but growth is a process ya know? - odile had read the familytale she borrowed front to back 3 times by the time they left dormont initially. it's been returned, but now shes on the hunt for a new one. - nille had a crush on mirabelle for awhile, which petered out after mira came out to the group. now she has one on odile. shes being so normal about it. - the group has been tutoring bonnie collectively so they dont miss out on their education. which is to say its mostly odile tutoring them and the others being wildly unhelpful. - nille and bonnie are amber's favorites. siffrin is her least favorite. (lmao)

[fatheriimaginedyoutaller]

Omorashi!Oz x Late20s!Reader; At The Amusement Park 🔞 - [M/M]

[OPEN ENDED]

You begged to Oz for one normal people date at the amusement park. You hadn't gone since you were a kid. And finally, those brown puppy eyes of yours convinced him.

You went to the stands and ordered one of those Jumbo Sized Americam Beverages™️

Eventually, you noticed that Oz's waddle gets a bit more pronounced. A bit after you both finished sharing the soda.

You assume it must be his foot, so you decide to guide him to the nearest bench and sit down for a bit.

He insists he's fine and snaps a bit when pressed on the issue.

Cut to flashing the puppy dog eyes again

"Doll, I'm gonna be honest, I gotta pee like a fucking racehorse."

You held back a laugh and take put your map while looking for the nearest restroom so your boyfriend can take care of his... problem.

In the meantime, Oz's stomach starts to make bubbly sounds, and its a bit bloated. You look at him and notice he's gotten rather pale and his face looks like he's panicking.

"Why didn't you tell me it had gotten this bad?" You ask, perplexed. "Must you always be so stubborn?"

Cut to Oz mumbling about being fine.

He's not fine, he's looking around as if begging for a toilet to magically appear.

You finally find the restrooms on the map and gently coax Oz to stand up so you can walk there.

Oz slightly presses his legs together because of the sudden movement. He can feel all the soda turned to waste slushing in his slower abdomen.

You sigh and take his hand in a gesture of comfort.

Oz appreciates it, although he's not sure he can wait that long between steps.

You guide him slowly through the crowd, and he manages to not leak. You're very proud of him.

You reach the restroom... and these a 5 person line.

Oz looks like he's seen a ghost. He's practically dancing on the spot as he fights the urge to grab his crotch

You stand next to him and whisper sweet nothings like "It's okay, babe, just five more minutes."

That sort of encourages him not to wet his pants. Although what he's not telling you is that he can feel a small wet spot the size of a golf ball in his boxers...

What happens next is up to you ;)

[elegantballetalk]

OMG go look at @manje1es stories on instagram and @domira_nota post 1. WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE PLIES, WHY CAN'T TSIKARDISKE OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL THAT MANS NAME HAVE TO MAKE THE PLIES WEIRD LIKE ITS NOT ABOUT YOU PUT YOUR EGO AWAY 2. NOT THE POINTE SHOES AT THE BARRRRRE 3. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE FRAPPES WHICH GO UP THE LEG?? WHY IS THE FOOT FLEXED I THOUGH WE WERE IN RUSSIA. 4. OF COURSE HE HAD TO GIVE HIS CLASS NEW LEOTARDS AND THE SKIRT LOOKS LIKE A HORSE'S TAIL 5. OF COURSE THE TUTUS ARE BACK. 6. THERE'S NOT A SINGLE PIROUETTE WITHOUT THE AWKWARD JUMPS 7. UGLIEST ITALIAN FOUETTES I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, THOSE POOR GIRLS ARE TIRED SOMEBODY SAVE THEM FROM THEIR TEACHERS EGO

I saw, I saw. I also saw some clips of the parallel class, and it looked more 'normal', so take consolation in that.

It is sad, to see legacy being burned away. There is a methodological reason why for example at the barre we do first, then second, then fourth. First position is harder than second, so the muscles get "woken up" and thus they don't relax in second, so second becomes effective only after first is done properly. It's why technically you should learn assamblè before balancè, because balancè is to "easy", and thus the child would not use the proper muscles because its too easy (hope this makes sense). BUT. I think by now we have to admit that these exams are not displays of the Vaganova method or technique, they are a concert, a performance. I would hope that their warm up for the exam would follow the standardized approach.

I will say that I think the girls looked stronger than last year, and that their arms were softer than last year. I will also state the obvious, saying they display incredible musicality, coordination and stamina.

From Nikolai Tsiskaridze speech I gathered that he means for this exam to be a "Manifesto of classical dance". On one hand, I'm obviously intrigued by the choreography, of course, on the other hand, I do worry about things changing into something different, less "clean". I do wish that they would keep the standard 8 years of pure Vaganova training, and then perhaps add a 9th year (as there was one in the past) and dedicate it to this extravaganza, because I do think there are some very interesting aspects to it. For example I do like that tempo's are faster, because if you've noticed, tempo's have been getting slower and slower and slower. I do like an experiment, I just don't know if I'm comfortable with promising students being experimented on. But I do hope they know what's best for them and that all will turn out for the better.

Another thing I like is that it does feel like "dancing" rather than it being simply ballet. There's a freedom aspect to this exam which I do admire. I can't wait for the whole exam to drop on youtube, so we will properly be able to form opinions. What I hope is that their day to day classes look more normal, with some experimental touches, and when they start preparing for this exam I really do think they approach it in the same way they approach variations, more like learning choreography rather than showing their classwork. I desperately hope so.

There are things I critique, obviously, others which I find unnecessary, but for now I will refrain from critiquing and form a better opinion when the full exam goes on youtube.

I do wonder if Nikolai Tsiskaridze thinks himself a bit like George Balanchine, like perhaps he wants to create the Tsiskaridze method and in the future there will be Tsiskaridze schools, styles and techniques!

[nelselfships]

Shinji Hirako x Reader

one shot (smut)

⊱ ♡ f!reader, mirror sex, p0rn with little plot, around 4k words

⊱ ♡ my first nsfw one shot so if any errors please let me know!

Low jazz music was playing in the back, and people were dancing on dance floor, with colorful lights spinning around the room slowly. Some where sitting in their booths smoking and drinking alcohol. The lights were dim, but enough to see the waitress walking towards me. She was dressed in a normal bartender attire, carrying a glass of whiskey in her hand. I grabbed the drink from her, shooing her away with my free hand. Already on the fifth drink of the night getting completely wasted. Everything seemed so sluggish and perplexed, time moving by slower tonight than usual after the busy day at work you had.

I took a drink of the alcohol beverage in my cup and sighed. I sat the drink back on the table, using my finger and making circles around the rim of it. I heard foot steps walking up behind me, they started to mumble something about checking a girl out and how they totally should get it, typical guy talk. I rolled my eyes hoping that they weren’t talking about me. And to turn out, they we’re talking about you. One of the guys sat across you giving a cocky smirk. I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a breath of annoyance. “No I will not fuck you and no I will not go out with you.” I looked back up at him with his smirk gone with in an instance.

“What did you say little bitch?” he had a furious tone to his voice, the smell of beer lingering out of his mouth causing me to nearly gag. I placed my hands down on the table for support to stand up and leaned over a bit. “I said i’m not here for fuck boys. Now get lost.” I slowly made my way, away from the booth. I might’ve been drunk, but I know how to keep my guard up when it’s needed. I heard footsteps charging towards me but they went to a sudden stop not a few seconds afterwards. I turned around to see some men holding him back, preventing him from doing anything rash. I waved them off and headed to the dance floor since the music beat is built up a bit more.

Everyone was on their feet moving around to the beat of the song that was playing. I joined in a long in the middle of the song, dancing as if there was no tomorrow.

The song was near at its end. I was watching the people that were all around me and started moving to the beat with my eyes closed. Bad decision, especially with so much alcohol in me, I tripped, yeah, that happened.

“Ouch! Yer okay doll face?” I lifted myself a bit off of the man that I tripped on top of. My face flushed a bit at the nickname that the stranger gave me. I pushed myself off of him, reaching out a hand to help the guy up. After helping the man, I straightened out my clothes that were scrunched up from the fall. “I’m fine, I should be asking you that question.” I gave him a small smirk and cocked a brow. The man chuckled at my response. He did the same with his attire he had on.

I got a little bit of a better look at him now that i was finally off the ground. His hair was blonde with a long straight line style. Very different from any other guy you have saw in your life, but not a bad choice in it. He had a cheeky grin and soft brown eyes. “Little pain in the head, but i’ll be alright doll. Anyways, yer have a name?” I put a strand of loose hair that was in front of my vision behind me ear. “It’s (y/n), and you?” I asked in return.

“Cute name, fits that cute face of yers. The names Shinji, so yer by yourself?” a blushed crept across my face from the compliment. “I actually came here with a few friends, but they ditched me to go hangout with some guys.” I rolled my eyes, “I see, say, wanna dance with me?” he asked holding out his hand, seeing if I would accept it or not. I shrugged my shoulders, “Sure, I don’t see what one dance could hurt.” I laughed thinking about the fall that happened earlier.

I accept his hand and he pulled me closer to him. Chest against chest, and I swore my face was redder than a tomato. Good thing the lights were dim and not bright enough to see. Our bodies were against each other, moving to the beat of the trap genre going on now. He kept me close from making anymore fall accidents. It felt, warm, being close like this… what am I thinking? I just met this stranger and i’ve already done blushed several times tonight. I slightly shook my head to myself and let loose on my thoughts again.

The song was at a end, the lights lit back up to its natural lighting, and my heart was racing fast, sweating a bit from all the movement. “Yer a natural doll face.” he winked at me, our breaths trying to catch back up to us. Yep, that broke the straw, my blush was bright and he noticed it. I chuckled a bit from the compliment, “Thanks, you’re one yourself.” I gave him a light smile. He walked up towards me, wrapping an arm around my neck.

He sticked his tongue out at me for a second and I noticed the silver ball on it. “So how bout’ I treat yer a drink?” he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded my head and he grabbed my hand leading me back to the booths. Looks like they got that creep to leave. I sat down beside him after we ordered what we wanted. We talked for a bit about our favorite music genres, stuff like that, and it turns out we had quite a good bit in common.

Our drinks finally arrived. I went to cross my legs, and they accidentally grazed his leg and I moved them away immediately. “I’m so sorry!” I apologized. But it didn’t take too long before he placed his hand on my thigh for a second, letting me know that I didn’t have to move away and that it was okay. I started to feel warm, my face flushed deep red, moving my thigh, back against his.

I took another sip of my whiskey, I sat the glass back down, looking over to the man now fixing his tie and the collar around his neck. The room felt too hot, I shouldn’t of drank another one. I looked at the time on my phone and it was hitting close to twelve a.m…. IT’S 12 A.M.? “Oh shit, I forgot to let my mom know I was going to be staying late, fuck.” I let out a low growl tone. He looked over at me a little worried. “She probably already locked the door and went to bed.” I let out a sigh.

“If yer want, yer can stay over my place tonight? I can understand if yer don’t want to, but I can’t just let a pretty girl sleep outside yer know?” I thought about it for a minute, and I didn’t want to disturb my mom, so I left her a little message that I would be staying at a friends house tonight, she would’ve freaked out if I told her I was going to stay at a random guys place, even though i’m grown, she still treats me like i’m young. “Sure.” I looked up at him with a smile. His smile widened as well showing his teeth. “Alright we’ll leave in a bit. My place ain’t too far from here so we can walk.” he said guzzling down the last bit of his drink. I did the same.

We finally arrived at his house. He unlocked the door inviting me in. I walked in, elegant chandeliers, and ornate furnishings exuded an air of sophistication that left me in awe. It had a sweeping staircase, high ceilings, and intricate details gave a sense of majesty and splendor that was fit for royalty. “Nice place you got.” I said slowly walking around scoping everything out. “Yeah, yer like it? Oh, let me lead you to the guest room.” He motioned me to follow him.

I walked behind him up the stairs, down the hallway on the far right, he opened the door and I followed behind him in. The room was nicely clean, and the bed comforter was made of red silk with a small sofa on the other side of the room. “Might not be the best but it beats being outside.” he laughed a bit. “Yeah,” you let out a whisper like tone. He sat down on the bed and you sat right down beside him. Legs so close to touching each other. “Oh, hey Shinji, I’ve been meaning to ask, when you sticked your tongue out earlier, I noticed you had a piercing there, why is that if you don’t mind me asking, you don’t usually see a lot of guys with that kind of stuff.” I asked, that was the dumbest thing I could’ve asked. He cocked a brow at me again.

“Oh yer curious about that? Well, I only have it for a few reasons really. I like the aesthetic of it, and plus, it gives great pleasure when yer know.” he said starting to face towards me, moving his eyes down my body. I blushed at the thought of a metal ball, rubbing down there. I started to feel hot. He saw me blushed and smirked. A low “Oh,” was all I could let out.

“Yer ever felt one?” he asked me. The heat between my legs started to feel more warm. I really did drink too much… why am I getting so turned on by the thought of what one would feel like? I shook my head to answer him. “Would yer like a demonstration?” he asks and my face definitely went to a beat red. I gripped the bed sheets under my hand and didn’t give an answer. He could tell by my actions of what I wanted by how I was reacting. “It’s a simple yes or no doll face. It’s cool if yer not comfortable with it.” he reassured me. I let out a low answer, “I’m okay with it.” you didn’t see it but you could feel that he had a grin on his face.

He placed a hand on top of mine slowly, intertwining our fingers, and took his two fingers from his other hand, placed them under my chin, and lifted my head for me to face him. I was a blushing mess, about to sleep with a person I just met. Both of our eyelids slowly closing as our faces neared each other. Our lips met not a few seconds afterward. At first it was a soft kiss, leading up to where we were fighting each other for entrance of the others mouth. I gave in and let his tongue explore. I never felt the silver ball around my tongue as well, and with each time it’s touching it, it’s sending shivers down my spine.

He moved his two fingers that were under my chin, and placed that hand on my thigh.

He bit my lip, dragging it down a bit with his teeth. The tension between us was high. I tried to held back, but I couldn’t, I let out a low, soft moan. He grinned in the kiss, and started making soft sucks and bites going down my neck, not hard enough to actually hurt me. He slid his hand that was on my thigh up more, where it was making its way under my black dress. My lips trembling a bit, wanting more than what he’s teasing me with. A whimper escaped my lips and he went to a slow stop.

“Was that a whimper I heard?” he said seductively, “Shinji… please, don’t stop.” I begged him, placing my hand on his that was on my thigh. He moved his way up to my ear whispering “Keep begging me like that and I might just go even longer to hear it some more.” he nibbled my earlobe. I let out a gasp, placing my hand on his chest. He place his hand on the fabric of my panties, rubbing it up and down slowly, feeling the wetness through it. “My my how long have you been like that? Yer completely soaked baby doll.” he said, making his way back down my neck to my collar bone. “Can’t say.” I smarted to him.

“Keep being cocky like that and maybe I won’t let yer feel it.” he smirked, I pouted as he went back to sucking on my collar bone.

He backed up and told me to stand up so he could take my dress off easily. I did as told. I covered up my upper body in embarrassment and blushed. “Yer don’t have to cover up doll face, cmon and let me see.” I lowered my hands down to the sides of my hips, and my bra and panties was exposed. I turned to face away from him, biting my lip. He was walking closer to me, he lifted his hand and cupped my cheek with it. “Yer look beautiful, no need to be embarrassed.” I looked up at him, gave him a light smile and placed my hand over his. I closed the gap between us with our lips, making a slow passionate kiss.

I was walking backwards to the bed while he was still kissing me, laying me down softly, pinning my hands above my head. The kiss was building up and my tongue made an entrance through his mouth this time. He was on top of me, sliding a leg between my thighs. I gasped from the friction of his leg pushing lightly against me there. He grinned into the kiss hearing the noise that came out of me.

He got up off of me, starting to unbutton his shirt. His slim figure was shown. My eyes were half lidded, glued onto him. Panting like a dog that’s been playing for to long. He next undid his belt, gosh the way his fingers were working around it. I blushed looking away focusing on my thoughts. After the belt was off the pants were next. He slid those down along with his boxers with nothing but pure skin showing. I looked back over at him. For a slim guy, he sure was pretty big. He dimmed the lights in the room. The man started to walk towards me grabbing my hand softly leading me up off the bed.

He led me to a small sofa that was sitting in the room, and a mirror was placed not to far in front of it. “What… are we doing?” I asked him curiously, not sure of what the man is planning. He wore a smirk on his face, looking over his shoulder to me. “You’ll see soon enough doll face.” he says, turning his head back around.

He sat on the sofa that the mirror was in front of. He snapped his fingers then pointed to me then next he pointed to the floor in front of him. I walked over, and sat on my knees on the ground facing him. “Turn around,” I did as the man said, and turned to face the mirror, looking at both of our bodies. My face flushed once more. He placed his fingers through my hair, sliding it all to one side, leaving the other side completely open. I could feel his breath against my neck, sending shivers all throughout my body. He placed a peck there and started to undo the hook of my bra in the back, taking it off, and tossing it to the side completely, not caring about where it lands. Leaving my chest fully exposed.

“Take them off.” he whispered in my ear, causing my eyes to open up wide. I started sliding down the hem fabric of my panties. I tossed them to the side, not caring about where they’re landing along with the matching bra. He reached his arms over my shoulder, long enough to touch my knees that were curled up to my chest. I looked at his hands, eyes half lifted. “Open them.” he commanded, tapping my legs. I slowly started to spread them open, revealing nothing but what was between them. He lifted my head up to look at us in the mirror.

My face was complete red, he had a smirk growing on his face. “Look at how pitiful yer look, a face so desperate to be touched.” I turned my gaze away from the mirror and he commanded me to look again. “Do yer wanna be touched doll face?” he asked. I was silent for a minute, nothing but thoughts about how bad I wanted this man to touch me. “I’ll ask ya again, yer got to let me know what yer want if yer want me to give it to yer. So what would it be beautiful?” he asked again. “I… I wanna be… touched…by you.” I could see through the mirror that damn smirk growing even bigger.

“There yer go.” he said, almost sounding like a whisper. He softly took his hand, and guided it to butterfly between my legs. He started to rub it a bit, I let out a moan of pleasure and tried to grab a hold of his hand but he slapped it away. I looked at him in shock through the mirror. “It’s my turn right now baby doll, wait patiently for yer turn.” he said, going back to rubbing it for a bit, it caught you by surprise when he inserted a finger inside of you. He was watching your reactions through the mirror, and you could feel his member hardening behind your neck. Is he getting off by watching and messing with me?

He placed a soft kiss, sucking on my neck, leaving trails of marks from him. He kept thrusting his fingers inside of me, with each hit causing me to gasp and moan, him hitting every good spot. I could feel myself building up, with my walls tightening around his fingers. As soon as he felt it, he took them right out. “Not so fast doll, cant have yer cumming without feeling with what yer was so curious about.” he said, smirking like an asshole.

He sat on the floor in front of me, spreading my legs apart. Small kisses up my thigh, making my breath hitch with every kiss that he’s getting near. He made his way up, breathing and kissing me down there, making my breath hitch again. He licked me and a soft moan escaped my lips. “Ngh, Shinji, that feels… amazing.” I breathed out slowly. His tongue along with the piercing felt too good. He grinned into me, and went back to licking me. My hands found their way to the top of his hair, gripping onto it.

After continuously licking on me, I felt myself building back up again, my legs barely lifting up. Toes curling with the feeling of pleasure running through my body. “Please, don’t stop Shinji…” I moaned out at the end, him hearing his name being moaned made him go even crazier. Sticking his tongue inside of me, made me felt too good. I grasped his hair a little bit tighter, letting him know that I was almost at my high. “Shinji, i’m… i’m about to…” my back arched, releasing the pleasure that was all built up inside of me.

I started to feel sensitive, and I tried pushing him away, “S-Shinji, that’s enough!” I gasped out, he finally gave in and backed away a bit, sliding his bangs back. “Sorry babe, just couldn’t help it, yer tasted so fucking good.” he says, licking the corner of his mouth, causing my face to heat up. I patted my cheeks, trying to regain some sense back into me.

He stood back up and made his way back to the couch and sat back down. I still sat in the floor, on my knees, but I turned around to face him. His cock was hard, in front of my face. I looked up at him, “Go ahead and have a taste doll face.” my face flustered, lifting my hand, and placing it around his member. He started to twitch from the touch of my hand, and I place a gentle kiss on the tip of it. He looked down at me, and looked back up to the mirror. His hands moved to my hair, pulling it back gently, to get the loose strands out of my face.

I licked him, getting a taste of the salty, but sweet skin. I opened my mouth, putting him down whole, inside of my throat. Shinji bit his lip, “Fuck, doll face, yer mouth feels so good… so warm.” he groaned out. No sounds but the gagging noises, every time my head goes down on him.

“I… don’t think i’m gonna… last much longer.” he said, gripping my hair tight, shoving me down more, causing tears to pour out of my eyes from the lack of oxygen. He pushed my head down one more time, releasing his warm, thick liquid inside of my mouth. After he finished, I felt snot pouring out of my nose and sweat dripping off my face along with the soft tears. I let his cock slowly make his way out of my mouth, panting, trying to regain the air I lost. I heard him panting, eyes were squint closed, feeling relieved from the pleasure.

I looked up at him, and I saw his eyes, half lidded, looking down at me. He leaned forward, wiping my tears away and snot around my nose off.

“Yer so beautiful doll.” he says, pulling my bangs out of my face, kissing my forehead. I blushed a bit, and stood up. He stood up along with me, gently grabbing my hand, helping guiding me to the bed that he now is laying on. I crawled into the bed beside him, laying down, placing a hand on his chest. He pulled the covers over us, turned towards me, placing a soft kiss on my nose. “I’ll take you home tomorrow, let’s get some rest okay?” all I could mumble was a “yeah.” and my eyelids where closed. Snuggled into his chest. Hearing his heart beat.

[hemi-demi]

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Thank you for the tag @buried-in-the-archives!

rules: talk about something creative you're working on of any kind.🚦 green: what is it about, what excited you about it, what sparked the idea? orange: slow down and share something from it: a photo, a few words, some more background info etc. red: what is the roadblock currently? what is one thing that is a necessary evil in making it?

Green:

Took a bit of a break as I was working through JMart week, but I've been getting back into working on Oathbreaker, the introductory fic to my JMart Dragon AU.

It started from a little one shot where Martin was a knight that was sort of held captive by Dragon!Jon with very much an implied situationship going on, and just kinda bloomed and morphed into a full fledged AU from there. The story is different now – starting with more of a professional relationship that develops into companionship and inevitably devolves into demisexual/queer panic – with its own narrative, world building, yapping with friends and a bunch of dumb doodles with wildly varying levels of canon. You know, all the fun stuff.

I literally think about these two idiots every day, and I can't get enough of them. They've completely taken over my waking life.

Orange:

Don't have any art I haven't shared, so here's a snippet from (I believe) the next chapter for y'all ❤️

---

Jon can't quite reach the book they need without an inordinate amount of shuffling, and their arms are already getting stiff. They attempt to use their tail to grab the tome, but it throws off their counterbalance. Their foot slips just as the tip grazes the spine, and for a split second it feels as if they're flying again.

“Ah!”

Anticipating the sharp crack of hard wood against their ass, it's both a shock and relief when nothing comes except for the dull thud of flesh and a grunt beside their ear. The force of their fall nearly knocks Martin off his feet, falling back against the stacks, holding Jon up in his arms.

“Ow.” Martin mutters to himself, rising up from the shelf and rolling his shoulder. “Damn near took it out of socket.”

“Thought you said you weren't going to catch me.”

“Thought you said you weren't going to fall.”

“I said no such thing. I only said that I would be fine.”

“You weren't ‘fine’, you fell from the top of the damn thing!” If Martin wasn't holding Jon aloft, he would be throwing those hands up in frustration. “Nearly broke your arse on Sasha's floor.”

“And you caught me. So I was correct. I'm still fine.” 

---

Jon's such a little shit ❤️ I love them

Red:

Okay, so biggest roadblock: writing is hard.

This is my first whole cloth AU, and man does that change a lot. Trying to balance the world building, character motivations, the pacing, the plot, the smut, it's all very different for me coming off of more canon-divergent/compliant works before this. I have a lot I can do with this story, and the biggest hurdle is learning when to shut the hell up and tune my focus to the most important themes and moments.

While this is still paced slower than how I would probably pace original fiction, allowing myself some room to indulge in some things as fanfic often does (bonus content helps), it's still something I think about a lot with this story and honestly has been downright paralyzing at times. I've written so, so much stuff for this story that I've inevitably scrapped, as it's much more of a character driven, discovery writing piece than my previous works and that just changes the whole game.

I know where the characters are going – even beyond the scope of this fic – but the actual path to get there is still very open. I've wrestled with these two idiots a lot. I still very much think it's worth the effort, but I've had to take breaks from this project more than anything I've worked on before because of it.

Who knew writing an ace 4 ace/autistic 4 autistic fic about two particularly stubborn characters that are bad at communicating would make writing a smut fic about how they get together so complicated? No one could have ever foreseen this.

Thank you to everyone who's been reading and enjoying the AU so far, and to my friends for yapping with me about my special idiots ❤️ it really means the most!

No pressure tags for @mice-and-moonbeams @daemongal @the-awful-dread-that-leaves

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Jujutsu Kaisen Fanfiction- Chapter 11

"Until recently I was a virgin, and now.."

You blush.

"I'm having more sex than a freaking porn star."

Gojo left marks all over your body. Just thinking about it was getting you worked up. You shake your head profusely, slapping your cheeks.

This was a bit embarrassing. At least you were done with work for the week.

It's one of the more relaxing days.

School had let out a while ago. Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, your eyes shift to the sky. More pressing matters had started to flood your mind.

"Be careful. There's been a lot of activity. We still aren't sure of their affiliation with all the special grades."

Principal Yaga was right to worry. Gojo acts like he's unaffected, but you know he must be at least a little worried. You turn down a corner, and your eyes grow wide at the male that walks past you. The second you turn around, his body seems to disappear in the crowd.

"It couldn't be.."

You race down the street evading bodies as you chase the flow. A sharp turn down the street, and you stumble before you gather your footing. You're at a dead end.

"What a nice surprise."

You look up, and there he is.

"Geto..."

He waves with a smile.

"Nice to see you again (Y/N)-san, you really have grown." 

He jumps down from his spot on the roof, landing right in front of you.

"I'm shocked you were able to find me so quickly. Then again, there is so much even you don't know."

"W-What are you talking about?"

Why was he acting like this? You hadn't seen him in years and he was acting so strange.

"Geto why are-"

You flinch, because a body appears right next to him. The energy hits you almost immediately, and when it looks up, you see the white armored body and the two roots protruding out of where it's eyes should be.

"GETO!! RUN YO-"

All you do is blink, but it's right in front of you. You're not sure your body has time to fully react, its hand reaches out, and it all feels like it happens in slow motion.

"What's going on..."

You're positive that it's moving at a natural speed. It must be, but your eyes are tracking everything slower than it should. You look down at your hand in awe.

"Did it hit me with something?"

You contemplate that maybe this was its attack, some kind of time warp. But that doesn't seem likely, it's still coming for you.

"You have a lot of potential, but you have to chase after it.

Gojo's words are the ones that flash through your mind at that point.

You reach out your hand slowly, opening that palm and facing it at the cursed spirit. Time somewhat speeds up, and the hand you have outstretched touches it's head. It flies backwards, right into the building and you just stare. Geto's eyes open.

"I underestimated her."

You mean to question him, but Geto just sends you another smile, folding his arms into his coat.

"I'll be seeing you (Y/N)-san." 

There's no explanation. 

He's gone. 

The energy of that special grade is also gone.

Your body shakes slightly, and you take a few breaths, hand moving to grip your chest. You needed to get to the school, report that incident immediately, but how can you do that? If Geto was in alliance with cursed spirits, then who could you really trust.

"You can trust them."

It's a fleeting thought that raced through your mind. Clenching your palm, you take off.

~~

"(Y/N)-chan called us both here, how mysterious~" 

Nanami didn't make a comment, just pulled out the chair that Gojo had planned to sit on. His butt hit the ground and he frowned.

"Oii, Nanami!!"

Usually he wasn't so childish, but Gojo tends to bring out that side of people.

The door to your apartment opens, and Nanami lifts his head. So does Gojo. They expect to see a lighthearted expression, but the tears are the first thing they process. You look up at them, and the droplets cascade down without warning. Nanami and Gojo are at your side in an instant.

"What's wrong!" 

They ask urgently.

You wipe at your eyes, shoulders shaking.

"G-Geto-senpai..."

You force out. It was all they'd managed to get out of you before you started to tear up again. You didn't say much after that, just wrapped your hands around both their necks as you pulled them into a hug. You held on as if they would disappear the very second you closed your eyes. Nanami's head lowered, hand rubbing soothing circles on your back and Gojo stroked your head.

"It's alright." 

He muttered.

Even he couldn't say if that statement was true.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Anyone want a mild TP sickfic? :)

I'll admit, I cheated on this a little - some of this was written before, but I just wanted to add more comfort and fluff to it. <3 Because Ordon Fam Fluff is wonderful.

Sicktember Prompt 4 - Hiding an illness

It had started subtly. A little choked back cough. Slower reaction timing.

By the first evening it had progressed to a headache. Link had written it off as just being tired.

But when Fado commented that Link had left the ranch abruptly, Rusl knew better than to wait it out. He'd gone to Link's home around dusk, and after a quick search of the abode, had come to the conclusion that Link was nowhere to be found.

Grabbing a torch as the daylight faded, he headed for the woods.

The trail was unorthodox, but present. Now that Rusl knew what to look for, it made tracking his son much easier. The grass was tousled just a hair, a few branches pushed aside, and one muddy spot bore half a paw print on it. A clump of black fur caught in a nearby bush pieced together the rest of the puzzle well enough.

Walking ahead carefully, Rusl's ears heard the sound of panting, and he turned towards the spring. When he reached the gate, he had to stop for a moment, his blood chilling.

A wolf was lying on its side at the edge of the spring, panting slowly. The sight of the animal in this spring, with a sword on Rusl's back and a torch in his hand, made him freeze up uncontrollably. He bit his tongue and swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as images of the worst night of his life came unbidden in his mind, images of a wolf whining and bleeding, images of dark shadows morphing into a Hylian, images of his boy crying and bleeding to death.

Without thinking, Rusl immediately discarded his sword, trembling from head to foot. He took a step forward, trying to regain his focus. Then he took another step. The wolf whimpered, and Rusl backtracked three paces.

Come on, he berated himself. Get it together. Something's wrong with him.

Clenching the torch tightly, he stepped forward again, thought better of it, and pitched the torch into the spring to extinguish it. The splash caught the wolf's attention, and he watched his canine boy twitch, but do nothing beyond that.

"Link," Rusl said hoarsely, his throat dry, his heart racing. He blinked the images away again. For his own sake, he pleaded, "Please, turn back, son, I don't know what's wrong."

Link obeyed, shifting easily, still laying on his side, looking miserably and pale and sweaty. Rusl's chest released, allowing him to breathe normally again, and he hastened forward, kneeling beside his boy. The flush to Link's ashen cheeks clued him in, and he placed the back of his hand against the teenager's forehead.

He had a fever.

"S-sorry," Link slurred. "'m really tired. Thought... being a w-wolf would... make it feel better..."

Rusl sighed. "All you had to do was say you weren't feeling well, Link."

"'m ok, P-Pa..."

The resistance member's heart hurt listening to the boy try to reassure him, and he pulled him into his arms. "You will be, Link. Don't worry."

Link tried to argue, shifting weakly in Rusl’s arms as the pair walked through the village. He wasn’t going to be able to climb the ladder while carrying his ward, and he certainly wasn’t going to leave Link unattended, so they were going back to his house.

Uli seemed fairly resigned to the sight that greeted her at the doorway – she likely had seen the signs as well over the last twenty-four hours. She smiled and sighed. “I put blankets and pillows on the couch for him.”

Link immediately shriveled as Rusl gently laid him on the sofa. “S-sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart,” Uli soothed, slicking back sweaty hair from his forehead. “I’m making some soup for you. Rusl will help you get into something more comfortable.”

Rusl nodded with a smile, letting Uli run the house. She was far better of a caretaker when it came to illnesses to be honest, and he was happy to have her call the shots. He was still shaking jitters from the spring, anyway.

Spirits above. He thought he’d gotten passed that. But he supposed he’d just… not addressed it. Not with himself, at least.

Grabbing a spare nightshirt, Rusl wandered back into the den to find Link shivering under the blanket Uli had supplied. Sweat drenched his tunic, and he actively avoided eye contact when Rusl approached him.

“Link,” Rusl said as he crouched down, ignoring the mild strain in his knees. “Don’t feel guilty, son. It’s okay.”

“It’s stupid,” Link sniffled, wiping sweat off his brow with a shaky hand. “I c-can—can take care of—I’m s-sorry—”

Rusl interrupted him when he took a cloth and wiped Link’s face, stopping the boy’s fretting movements. “Link. You do so much for everyone. For the village, for the Resistance, for Hyrule. You saved the world. I think it’s fair for you to let others take care of you sometimes.”

His boy watched him a moment, eyes glassy and conflicted, and he sighed tiredly. “But you and Ma have Hana and Colin and that’s a lot, and you’re in the Resistance too. I…”

“It’s always our pleasure to take care of our boy,” Rusl whispered gently with a smile. “Always.”

Link bit his lip, eyes closing for a moment as he suddenly fought desperately for composure. Rusl let the boy have his privacy on the matter, instead shifting focus to helping him sit up and get into the nightshirt he’d brought.

Once Link was settled and tucked back in, Rusl wiped his face of both sweat and tears and pulled the chair over as Uli arrived with a steaming bowl of soup. Colin was next, stumbling in with half lidded eyes as he’d just gone to bed but had heard the commotion. Once he saw that Link was ill he couldn’t be convinced to go back to bed quite yet, and Hana awakening for some milk further roused him.

It was well into the night when Rusl was gently rocking Hana back and forth, patting her back after her mother had provided her with nourishment. Colin was sitting on the floor by the sofa while Link relaxed, having eaten the soup provided to him, and Uli sat in the chair, regaling her boys with yet another story. Link, despite being quite ill, kept his eyes half open to listen, enjoying listening to his mother’s words, and Colin’s head was slowly tipping to the side and bobbing as he tried to follow along as well. The fire had died down a fair amount, still filling the home with warmth while barely making a sound save for the occasional pop.

“Each little raindrop sparkles like jewels in the light of sacred springs,” Uli continued. She was currently telling one of Colin’s favorites, that being the origins of fairies. “When enough collect on the leaves of the spring, the colors shimmer and swirl, creating a rainbow. The spirits collect the rainbow water together. You can practically taste the magic in the air, like the cool sweet crispness of snow cream in your mouth, and it makes your heart flutter and makes you feel alive. The spirits hold the water in their hands, closed to the world, and when they open them, there lies a fairy. They take a piece of light with them wherever they go, guiding and healing anyone who crosses their path.”

“How many fairies are there?” Colin asked sleepily.

“More than I could ever count,” Uli answered. “But they hide. Their magic is special. Only good children can see them. A while ago, they made a special trip.”

“That’s how Hana is here!” Colin surmised. “Sera says fairies bring babies.”

Uli giggled. “Well. Your Pa certainly helped. You’ll learn more about that when you’re a little older.”

Rusl bit back a snort of laughter.

“But,” she carried on. “They did bring someone years ago. A little one of the forest, with twigs in his hair and little bits of bramble stuck to his clothes. They guided him to Ordon Village and blessed us more than any fairy could ever bless anyone.”

Link’s gentle breaths filled the air as he finally fell asleep, and both parents watched him a moment, their hearts full. Uli spoke of fairies and magic for a while longer, but it didn’t take long for Colin to follow his older brother’s lead. Rusl handed Hana to his wife and then gently carried Colin back to his bed, tucking him in and giving him a kiss good night. When he returned to the den, Uli was doing similar to Link. The couple headed to their room together, settling Hana in her crib.

“We truly are blessed, aren’t we?” Uli sighed happily as the pair settled into bed.

Rusl took her hand, kissing it, and smiled back at her. “Yes, we are.”

[cheerycherrycandy-resurrected]

What You've Done, You Cannot Undo (Medieval AU)

Chapter 10

Tensions frayed, the ghouls try to move forward.

An upload in under a week? Its a miracle!

Rating: M Content: Words: 5255

Links to full fic: Tumblr | AO3

Hi tag gang! @everybodyshusband @rainsbasspick @revengeghoulette

Read below, or on AO3!

With a new day came new struggles. The tension between Rain and Dewdrop was palpable, and even beginning to rub off on the others. Rain had gone back to barely speaking, only giving monosyllabic answers when he was asked a direct question. Dew had assumed his position at the rear of the pack for a second day. 

The ghouls trudged forwards, the light-hearted chatter of the previous day long-evaporated with the morning dew. They walked almost in single file, Mountain ploughing ahead as though he could outrun the sour mood that followed them. Aether had attempted to stick with Rain, but the already tall water ghoul sat high above him, staring straight ahead and ignoring every concerned look and word thrown his way. 

Similarly, Swiss had attempted to start a conversation with Dewdrop when they paused to refill their waterskins along the way. His skin had started prickling from the negativity floating about, and the sullen temperaments of his packmates was feeding a gnawing discomfort in the pit of his stomach. 

“Is everything alright between you and Rain? You've both been very quiet toda–”  

“We're fine.” Dew bit back a snarl. “Rain still blames me for everything, but it's no big deal, I only saved his life.” sarcasm licked at the edges of his words like flames devouring paper. 

Swiss slunk off, fearful of poking the bear any further. 

By late afternoon, they had reached a fork in the road ahead. Mountain dithered, visibly uncertain for the first time since they set off. Ahead of them the path narrowed and wound through dense trees which sapped the light from the sky. Off to the right curved another path, this one wider and continuing to follow the river to the east. Neither he nor Aether had explored this region before, so the river was on none of their hand-drawn maps. If it continued east rather than curving back north, they could completely lose their way – and precious time. On the other hand, the forest could go on for miles and camping inside its deep emerald walls was opening themselves up to all manner of predators living inside. 

Fed up with his knowledge of the route – even if not totally comprehensive – being ignored, Dew decided to put Mountain out of his misery. 

“It’s not that big a forest, I made it in half a day on horseback both ways,” he interrupted, “the path widens up after it, but you lose the river for a bit longer.” 

“We’re not on horseback though, are we,” Mountain snapped back, “we’re on foot so we’re far slower, and if we get caught in there at night there could be all sorts of animals or bandits or anything!” 

Dew scoffed, but was expecting his reaction. 

“I was just trying to help. It’s not like I’ve made this journey twice in the last week or anything.” 

Mountain grumbled under his breath, but made no further move to argue and instead reverted to pacing back and forth at the junction. 

Dew was annoyed, although unsurprised, that Mountain was still holding a grudge against him, and by extension his input: Earth ghouls were known for their stubbornness after all. He was also annoyed at how easily Mountain and the others had forgiven Rain – they had never even blamed him in the first place. Rain caused the floods that got them into this mess, thought Dew, and yet everyone was acting as if they were something that had simply happened to him rather than something he played an active role in. In fact, Dew thought, he himself had done nothing but try to help his pack since that fateful day, yet here he was: the only one getting chewed out, for doing exactly that. 

Sensing the tension was about to overflow, Swiss interjected. 

“Why don’t we camp where we are for now? This looks like a good place, and Satan knows I need a drink and a bath from that river.” 

“This would be an ideal spot,” agreed Aether, jumping on the chance to de-escalate, “and with the pace we’re making now, we should just about be able to get through these woods in a day, if we start early. Some proper food tonight would do us good too.” 

Mountain huffed and nodded sullenly, but eventually they were all in agreement that a good meal, an early night, and a similarly early start was the best plan. Given Dew’s estimate, they should be out of the woods by nightfall. 

All five ghouls bathed in the gentle flow of the river, the slight chill was refreshing as they washed away the grime of the road and the miserable cobwebs infecting their minds. Dew stayed as far away from the others as he could; the brisk temperature of the water was washing away the stormy mood of the morning, and even Mountain had become talkative again much to Swiss' crystal clear relief. Dew didn't want his apparent feud with Rain to pull the clouds back down around the others, determined not to be the cause of yet more misery for them, and so he kept his distance.  

When the cold became too much, most of them clambered back up the shores of the river to dry off in the warm afternoon sun. Rain refused to leave however, most happy to continue floating around completely in his element in more ways than one.  

Before the soporific effect of the sun on their skin became inescapable, Mountain and Swiss left to go foraging for berries. Swiss had been keen to learn how to distinguish edible plants from inedible ones, and Mountain was eager to teach him. Their ghoulish digestions meant the stakes were low – even the most poisonous berries and mushrooms would not harm them beyond a stomach ache – but the ill effects would still be unpleasant. They pair wandered back in the direction of the road and the thickets either side, chatting quietly as they went about the task at hand. 

Meanwhile, Aether lurched to his feet and stretched his arms high above his head, his spine popping loudly as he stretched like a cat.  

“Right, let’s get to work. Chuck us any fish you see, Rain?” 

An answering splash came from the river, followed by the wet slap of a perch hitting the ground beside him. It thrashed wildly, stunned at its sudden change in environment. 

“Yup, that’ll work!” He chuffed, as Rain popped his head above the water.  

Dew watched on, scowling. Rain was apparently well enough to act cute and silly for Aether, yet he hadn't so much as looked at him since their fight yesterday. 

While Aether set about fashioning spits to roast the growing collection of fish haphazardly tossed their way, Dew found an outlet for his frustration by focussing on making a fire. This was at least one thing he knew he could do better than any of the others. Methodically setting smaller twigs alight and coaxing the flames to lick at the larger branches was therapeutic, calming the inferno that raged in his mind. Soon he had a perfect blaze going, despite the lingering damp. Aether nodded in approval, before calling out with a chuckle to the blue-tinged blur that seemed determined to decimate the population of aquatic life in this portion of the river. 

“That’ll do Rain, we’ll start growing scales if we eat any more than this!” The water ghoul paused his frenzy to flash a grin with too many fangs for his mouth at the pair on the shore. He snapped them once more, and made a big show of swallowing the small minnow he caught in them whole. Dew couldn’t help but feel slightly threatened. 

When Swiss and Mountain returned, they found Dew crouched by the fire. All his concentration was now going into not burning the fish that he was carefully turning over the flames, watching it with an eagle-eyed glare. Two piles sat nearby: one of uncooked fish Aether had expertly gutted, and one of cooked ones being kept warm just out of the fire’s reach on a hot rock. Aether was keeping a close eye on the progress, all too familiar with Dew's previous attempts at cooking, but Dew was determined to not be distracted this time.  

Satisfied that their dinner would not turn to charcoal, Aether had begun making snare traps to set overnight in the woods. Maybe if they were lucky they would catch a squirrel or a rabbit, something to break up the monotony of soups and stews made from dried meats and plants for tomorrow. Mountain and Swiss joined them on the ground as Dew triumphantly added his latest success to the stack of cooked skewers before starting on the next one. The pair seemed to be in a vastly better mood than earlier; the frown lines in Mountain's forehead finally beginning to smooth out, and the stony look on his face eroded away. 

“Where did you two learn to do all this?” Swiss asked, as he watched Aether expertly loop and twist a length of wire. 

“We used to be nomads,” Aether explained, “back before you arrived, even before Dew, we were like most ghouls without a clan. We wandered wherever the fates took us, living off the land and everything it provides.” 

Swiss gazed up at Mountain, intrigued. All the ghouls were cagey about their previous lives, so he wanted to absorb every shred of knowledge. 

“Have you two always travelled as a pair?” He asked, curious. 

“Definitely not!” Aether snorted a laugh. “If Mount had had his way when we met, we’d have never crossed paths again!” 

Mountain smiled slightly at Swiss’s open-mouthed stare of astonishment, before explaining.  

“We first met years before you joined us. I smelled a lone quint ghoul in the woods and started tracking him before he could track me.” 

“He caught up with me eventually,” Aether smirked, “but not before I sensed him coming.” 

Both ghouls shared an apologetic, wry smirk at the memory of that first encounter. 

“We ironed out our differences eventually.” Mountain continued. “I wanted us to go our separate ways, but someone thought it could be fun to try travelling as a pack.” 

“We made a good team,” grinned Aether, slinging a large, miraculously fish-free arm around the reluctant Earth ghoul, “so much so, that we decided to try life in a permanent settlement!” 

“Our hunting skills have gone a little soft since then.” Mountain admitted, shrugging out of Aether’s grasp and resuming his position conspicuously close to Swiss, knees bumping together. The low, quiet purr subconsciously emitting from Swiss’ chest developed a possessive and self-satisfied ring to it that they all chose to ignore. “We used to go on hunting trips for a few days every full moon, to keep ourselves sharp in case things went south with the villagers, but that all fizzled out when we found Dew.” 

Dew had been half-listening, having picked up the general idea of their history early on in his time with the pack, but tuned back in at his name and the pang of guilt it brought. He knew the regular excursions the pair enjoyed had ended because of him and his ineptitude, and the reminder that he had been a burden since day one stung now even more than it usually did. Once he had recovered his strength back then he had tried to join them on a trip, only for them to have to turn back days early. Dew was by far more a hinderance than a help, and as no one wanted to leave him alone in the farmhouse for extended periods, the hunting trips had stopped. 

“Of course, by the time you got here Swiss, they were ancient history,” Mountain finished, “we didn’t need to be on the ball all the time, we could focus on other things.”  

A sour smell, akin to Dew's current mood, rose from the fire. 

"Shit!” he hissed, the forgotten – and now thoroughly cremated – fish smouldering up at him. He snatched it from the flames, stalking off to dispose of it before he had to hear the inevitable sigh of disappointment from Mountain. 

Still floating in the river, Rain watched the four ghouls reminisce while Dew cooked his fish. Rain had caught them dinner, they were practically feasting tonight, and the uppity fire ghoul still believed he was dead weight? He sunk down under the water, leaving only his eyes visible. He felt stronger like this, but watching his pack sitting together was a glimpse at what their life had been like before he appeared. He had tried hard to ignore Dew's comments, but the niggling thoughts that maybe they would have been better off without him leered their ugly heads from the shadows.  

Rain continued sulking in the shallows until Aether called to him, several times. 

“Come on Rain, time to come out and dry off before dinner!” 

He blew a huff of bubbles out through his nose but finally slouched out of the river to sprawl himself and the sopping wet underclothes he was wearing by the fire. Only after a pointed glance from Aether did Dew kick up his own warmth from his position opposite. 

That night, they went to bed warm and finally full for the first time in over a week. They had feasted on their relative banquet of fish and mushrooms, all washed down with handfuls of sweet wild berries. His anger burnt out, Dew now tried as hard as he could to tamp down the ashes of guilt that still lingered in the recesses of his mind. He’d done well today, helping to feed his pack and keep them warm. Mountain was still smarting slightly from his leadership being challenged, but Dew was confident they would make it through the forest tomorrow, and save themselves a detour. Besides, he only knew his way if they stuck to the woods, having meandered through them in reverse all those years ago and then again last week. In hindsight, he had been lucky to make it through unscathed that first time on foot, only having one scary near-encounter with a wolf. 

Dew and Rain shuffled under their shared blanket again, staying as separate as they had the day before. The heated emotions from the previous night had finally fizzled out, quashed by the weight of warm food in their bellies, but a lingering awkwardness hung in the air. Despite this, they both fell asleep quickly in anticipation of the early start they would have the following morning. For once, the pair slept soundly through the night. 

The journey through the forest the next day went smoothly, just as Dew had said it would. Rising early, alongside the sun, they collected in the few snares Aether had set. They had caught two rabbits overnight, hopefully enough to stretch their rations a bit further. 

Progress was fast with all of them feeling renewed after their much-needed break the day before. Rain had even declared that he felt well enough to walk for some of the journey, so the ghouls had gratefully offloaded more of their luggage into the mare’s saddlebags, making them even swifter. The conversation flowed far easier today, the tense undercurrent finally dissolving. Around them, the trees pressed oppressively close as though they were eavesdropping on the trespassers in their midst, so they instinctively spoke in hushed voices. 

The sounds of the forest were a mix of familiar and unfamiliar; the rustling of animals in the underground had been a constant occurrence so far, but the volume here implied a creature much larger than any they had met so far. Unlike the usual, wary animals along the road, this beast didn’t flee upon hearing the ghouls’ footsteps or smelling their unholy scent but instead seemed to stalk them in their progress. Likewise, the light sounds of twittering birdsong overhear were replaced with low, baleful calls. It was clear that darkness still lingered here: ancient magic they had no desire to interfere with. 

By the time they paused around midday for a drink, Rain was beginning to tire again. Dew gently stroked the horse’s nose as they reshuffled, her discomfort with standing still in a place like this manifesting through stressed snorts and stamps of her feet. She had spent the morning trying to pull ahead and move at the speed Dew had encouraged her to on their previous journeys. 

“C’mon girl, we’ve been here before and it was fine,” he cooed to her, “we just need to go a bit slower this time.” 

She whinnied nervously, but accepted the chunk of slightly limp carrot from Dew’s pocket. 

During the following few hours, the atmosphere within the pack changed in a way none of them had been expecting. The looming threat of their surroundings seemed to be pushing them closer together rather than pulling them apart, the ghouls knowing they would need to rely on their collective senses to spot any incoming danger. Luckily no such dangers arose and, despite their fears, the trek through the uneven ground of the dark woods was almost entirely uneventful. 

Eventually the sun began to fade, the light that filtered down to them cut through with flashes of red that turned everything a golden hue. Above them, the trees were finally starting to thin out as they reached the edge of the forest. Another mile or so later, when the sky wrapped the world in a velvet blanket of cornflower blue, the ghouls found a suitable place to make camp.  

The first priority was to make a fire to ward off predators: they might literally have been out of the woods, but figuratively they were not. They were getting further north with each day now and it was becoming progressively colder at night, so it’s warmth was immeasurably appreciated by the pack of exhausted ghouls. The full day, from dawn until dusk, of hiking through the woods had sapped all the strength they recovered the previous night, but they took comfort in knowing the hardest part was over. Dew was certain they were about halfway now, and the terrain should be simpler to traverse from here on out.  

As they sat and rubbed sore leg muscles while eating the rabbits caught the previous night, they all allowed themselves to relax slightly and savour the warmth of both food and flames. Even Mountain seemed calmer; the temporary relinquishing of his leadership position lifting a burden from his shoulders he had not realised he was carrying. They were past the hard part of the journey, at last, and finally learning to work as a team in a new environment. While Rain was still physically weak, he seemed to be recovering mentally and his progress allowed his packmates to finally feel more at ease. With this additional stressor removed, the frayed tensions of the pack could finally start to heal; they were all in this together after all, and the current in-fighting would not do anything to help. 

Mountain had one large weight still resting heavily on his shoulders: his undeniably foul attitude towards Dewdrop. He was self-aware enough to know he was in the wrong; he had been unnecessarily taking all his frustrations out on Dew, but not aware enough to know how to fix things. Despite the more rational part of his brain saying that Dew could not have known that his comments could have pushed Rain over the edge that morning – no one could have predicted that – the part of him that needed to assign blame was too stubborn to admit that he had been equally wrong with his own inflammatory behaviour towards Dew since. 

The fire ghoul still had a lot to answer for; starting with his antagonistic attitude towards Rain who had, to Mountain's knowledge, never done anything to directly upset Dew. Someone should have addressed it sooner, realised Mountain, and that someone could easily have been him.  

As he sat beside his packmate's expertly crafted fire, he wondered if they real reason he was having trouble forgiving Dew was that it involved accepting some responsibility for his own actions. He had sensed Rain's hesitance that fateful morning, when Swiss first proposed the job up at the farm, but he hadn't offered to go with him or help him practice. Rain had clearly been tired, and yet Mountain hadn't suggested that he wait until another day. In fact, he felt in hindsight like he had dragged Rain along to his own jobs so many times, that he had inadvertently pressured him into thinking that it was his duty to accept any work put his way. Likewise, he had snapped at Dew when he mocked Rain, without ever checking in on either of his young packmates to see if Rain was truly as unaffected as he acted, or why Dew was quite so volatile in the first place. 

Mountain sat stewing in his own guilt for a minute longer until he reached what he realised was the only conclusion: he needed to apologise to both of them, especially Dew, before their relationship became damaged beyond repair. 

Sat across the fire, Dew was having similar thoughts of his own. All his anger at Rain had dissolved and was now directed squarely at himself. His comments the night before last had been unnecessary, given that Rain had been sobbing and was clearly already blaming himself enough for the both of them. Before they could both move on with their lives, whatever they would look like from now on, Dew needed to speak to Rain and clear the air between them. With the determination fresh in his mind, Dew scrambled inelegantly to his feet, and made to walk over to where Rain was stood gently stroking the horse as she ate her own dinner. 

Before he could make it more than a few steps, he found himself face-to-chest with Mountain. The bigger ghoul put his hands on Dew's shoulders to steady him. 

“Dew, can we talk?” 

Dewdrop looked up, suspicious. Other than Rain, Mountain was the one ghoul who seemed to be holding an insurmountable grudge against him, and he had no desire for another lecture on responsibility when he had finally worked up the courage to speak with Rain. He shrugged, and Mountain took the hint to release his shoulders but made no move to let him past. 

“It's about Rain.” Mountain added, following Dew's eyeline to the water ghoul. 

“Fine.” huffed Dew, and he let himself be led out of earshot of the rest of the pack. 

Almost before they were fully sat down, Mountain burst out the words that had eluded him for so long. 

“I'm sorry.” 

Dew stared at him, not fully comprehending what he was hearing. 

“I'm so sorry, Dew,” Mountain continued, “I've been so angry at everything the last week, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you.” 

If Dew was shocked at Mountain wanting to talk to him, he was floored at receiving an apology. Now that he was properly sat facing Mountain for the first time since everything happened, he could see the haunted look in the earth ghoul's eyes. The desperation in them scared him; it was a familiar look. 

"Rain's safe now, Mount,” he said, addressing a different point but one he felt was the underlying cause of all of this, “we're all safe.” 

“I hope so...” Mountain trailed off. 

“And I'm sorry too,” added Dew, determined to get this uncomfortable conversation tackled in one go, “I was awful to Rain because of my own issues, without thinking about how it affected him. You told me over and over not to and I didn't listen, it's my fault he lost control and we're in this mess.” 

“Don't think like that,” Mountain said, no stranger to the blame game Dew was also trapped in, “we could all have done something different, but we can’t change the past. Now we need to think about how to move on.” 

They sat in slightly awkward silence for a while, neither one entirely sure how to end the conversation. 

“I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you,” Mountain finally said, “I couldn't save Rain, it seemed like you'd abandoned us, and Swiss's visions were bouncing between gone or making him scream with the pain.” He shuddered. “It felt like the whole pack was falling apart and I couldn't do anything to stop it.” 

Dew winced at the reminder of how much his departure had hurt them all. 

“Then you came back, and you saved Rain all by yourself,” Mountain continued, “I wasn't needed at all, and it felt like I'd failed the pack.” 

“You know you aren't responsible for our screw-ups, right?” 

Mountain shrugged sheepishly. 

“Yeah, I know. But ‘cause me and Aeth have been here the longest it feels like I should be, sometimes.” 

Dew nodded, remembering what Swiss had said about Mountain feeling like the de-facto pack leader. 

“And now we're going to a place only you know, and everything is completely foreign and unknown and totally out of my ballpark, and I'm scared because I can't control it and I don't know how to not be the one in charge.” Mountain spoke in a rush, the vulnerable words spilling from his chest before he could stop them. 

Dew hummed in understanding. 

“I get it. I'd be acting the same if you were suddenly making me move to live with a bunch of strange ghouls and humans only you knew.”  

Mountain's shoulders, which had been creeping up towards his ears, lowered in relief as Dew acknowledged the crux of his apprehension. 

“I promise we’ll leave if you hate it,” Dew said earnestly, “as soon as Rain is better, we can move on again. You don't need to worry about being trapped there or the pack breaking apart if they want me to stay. They know you come first.” 

Hearing his worries addressed put Mountain further at ease. 

“One more thing though,” reluctantly, Dew figured if they were clearing the air they should raise all their issues and not leave any resentment simmering, “I do know the way on from here, and it hurts that you keep ignoring that I've made this journey twice in the last week. I might not be an expert in anything related to keeping five ghouls alive in the wilderness, but I know what I'm talking about with the route.” 

Mountain looked suitably chastened again, but he saw Dew's point. Things were going to be different between the pack for a while – it was all but inevitable given the events of the past week – but maybe giving up some control didn't have to be a bad thing. If they wanted to rebuild their fragile trust, they had to start somewhere, and being his usual inflexible self in a situation as volatile as this wouldn't help any of them. 

“You're right, and I'm sorry for ignoring you before. I guess I should learn how to give up control a little.” 

“Not completely!” Dew tried to make a joke, sensing Mountain's discomfort growing again.  “We'd all starve without you!” 

Mountain chuckled weakly, and Dew considered that a success. 

“You do need to apologise to Rain though,” Mountain added, “I don't know what happened between you two the other night, but he's hurting and confused right now and needs your support.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.” Dew made a mock salute. “Where did you think I was going when you stopped me just now?”  

“Thanks Dew,” Mountain clapped him on the shoulder as they stood up, “and I'm proud of what you've done for our pack, y'know. I'm sure it wasn't easy.” 

Dew mimed gagging at the praise, and the pair snickered as they went their separate ways, balance between them restored. 

The chat with Mountain had gone well, Dew told himself. It had gone so much better than expected, as to be almost miraculous. How much harder could talking to Rain be? 

Quite a lot harder, it turned out. Dew psyched himself up on the short walk over to where Rain was hovering with the mare, almost spinning on his heel and returning to the fire with every step. 

“Uh, hi Rain…” tried Dew, unsure what to say. How should one start a ‘sorry I goaded you into murdering several people then blamed you oh and now we’re technically also married” conversation, anyway? 

“Hello Dewdrop,” sighed Rain, briefly looking up before turning back to continue fussing over the horse, tucking stray tendrils of her mane back into the loosening braid, “can I help you with something? It’s been a long day and I’m not in the mood for another fight.” 

Dew stuttered, not expecting such assertive behaviour from the water ghoul, who once upon a time had let himself be walked all over like a wet rag. 

“I– uh– I wanted to talk to you.” He finished lamely. Rain levelled him with a weary stare. The silence stretched out until Dew realised he was expected to continue speaking.  

Dew took a deep breath. The bitterness between him and Mountain had been washed away at last, and the relief of the aftermath felt so sweet. He needed to try and do the same thing here. Mountain was right: they couldn’t erase the past. That was set in stone, but the future was as intangible as water, as unpredictable as fire. Dew dug his claws into every speck of inspiration he could take from the earth ghoul’s courage, and started talking. 

“I'm sorry for what I said the other night, it's not your fault we're here, it's mine. I'm sorry for being a bully ever since you got here. You're not useless, you deserve to be here and I'm so sorry I ever said otherwise.” 

Once Dew opened the floodgates, he couldn’t stop. 

“This is all my fault, I was angry at you for things that were my fault and now you're upset with me and so are the others and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I don't know how to make things better.” 

Dew gasped for breath, and Rain regarded him with a curious look. He couldn’t recall a time when he’d heard Dew speak as much in one go, especially about anything so emotionally charged. He stayed frozen in place for a long moment, unsure how to respond. 

“Thank you.” He said finally, face strangely impassive. 

Dew looked at him, stricken. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting: anger, tears, acceptance? A simple and cold thank you was definitely not in his list of possible outcomes, and Dew had no idea how to respond. 

“This isn't entirely your fault though Dew, I can't let you think that.” Rain broke the strange, icy tension by addressing the one part of Dew’s spiel he hadn’t expected him to argue with. “There were plenty of other things messing with my head that day.” 

“What do you mean?” Dew asked, confused. Rain shook his head quickly. 

“It doesn't matter right now.” 

Curiosity burned within Dewdrop, but he clamped his lips together, afraid to disturb the fragile truce that was forming between them. The pair descended into silence again, but a less awkward one this time as they both pretended to be engrossed in the horse next to them. 

“Is there something else I need to apologise for?” Dew eventually begged. “I don’t want to leave anything unsaid.” 

At last Rain smiled, and shook his head in amusement. 

"Just give me a damn hug, Dewdrop.” 

[kk095]

Role Reversal

*good evening everyone! The poll has concluded and the first option received the most votes. I plan on posting the other two stories in the near future, so in the event you voted for those stories, don't worry! You'll definitely see them soon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story!*

Dr Lindsay is one of our beloved, go-to characters. She’s talented, smart, and always trying to go above and beyond for her patients. You can also add looks to her already impressive resume- she’s a tall woman in her early 30s, standing around 6 feet tall, with a slim but toned, athletic build, light brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a cute, tomboy type of appearance. Time and time again we’ve seen Lindsay’s hands inside a beautiful lady’s chest, but what if she was the one on the trauma room table for once? That’s just what happened in an alternate reality.

Lindsay was off that morning, but even on her days off, she’d get up early and go for a run. She ran track at a D1 school in college, and continued running even after her D1 days were over. This particular morning started off pretty uneventful. Lindsay woke up around 5:45 since she likes to run through her neighborhood when there weren’t very many people out and about. It was quiet and peaceful at that time, but also a bit chilly that morning, so Lindsay made sure she put on long sleeves and a pair of warmer leggings before heading out on what would be her final run.

It was still a bit dark out at that time, but the sun was slowly but surely making its way up. Lindsay had walked out into the street from her driveway, popped in her headphones, and off she went. The pace was a little slower at first since Lindsay was feeling a little chilly at that time. But nonetheless, she trotted along like she always did. About 10 minutes or so into her run was an intersection close to the entrance of her neighborhood. People would always blow through the stop sign at this intersection for whatever reason. Lindsay had countless experiences where she was almost hit by someone while driving to/from work, but never had that issue while running since she was always out so early in the morning.

On that day, in that alternate reality, there was someone out and about. There was a guy in a white BMW on his phone not paying attention to the road. The gentleman rolled through the stop sign, never even seeing Lindsay. Lindsay tried to get out of the way, but it was already too late! A loud thud was heard once the car struck Lindsay. The car struck Lindsay’s left flank/oblique area. The force threw her around, and her chest slammed into the hood of the car with tremendous force. Lindsay’s tall, 6 foot frame was thrown over the top of the car effortlessly before rolling off the trunk and onto the pavement.

The driver of the BMW jumped back and slammed on the brakes, making a squealing noise, but the damage was already done. “oh my God oh my God oh my God” the driver of the car panicked, finally putting his phone down and stopping the car like he should’ve when approaching the stop sign. Lindsay laid on the pavement face up. She was in complete shock, and the adrenaline was flowing through her body. Lindsay’s eyes opened up wide, her face having some abrasions and minor cuts on it. She looked up into the morning sky and took a few deep, but quick breaths. Lindsay tried to get up, but she couldn’t feel her legs. “no no no. This can’t be happening!” Lindsay thought to herself, the panic slowly but surely setting in. She had some sensation in her arms and tried to reach for her phone, but unfortunately it was in her pocket, smashed to oblivion. “HELP ME!” Lindsay screamed at the top of her lungs. The driver of the white BMW stepped out of the vehicle and slowly approached Lindsay. “oh my God…” he said, looking down at her like a deer caught in the headlights. “YOU HIT ME!” Lindsay said to the man, making eye contact as he approached. “miss…I’m so, so, sorry! I didn’t mean it!” the man said back, begging Lindsay for forgiveness in a way. “call 911! I need help! Please…” Lindsay says to the man while he continues to stand there in a daze.

Finally he dials 911. “Hey! I hit a lady with my car in my neighborhood! You gotta send someone here quick! It’s bad!!!” the man shouts into the phone. “it wasn’t my fault! I didn’t see her!” he shouts into the phone a moment later, presumably answering the dispatcher’s questions. Meanwhile, dispatch notifies EMS and medics Stephanie and Tracy are the ones to respond.

“Hey Steph, we gotta roll. Auto vs pedestrian over in Waterford Estates.” Medic Tracy said to her partner. “Waterford Estates? Doesn’t Dr Lindsay live in there?” Stephanie replied, having a gut feeling this would be a case she wouldn’t forget. “oh come on, there’s a bazillion doctors in there. What’re the odds it’s her?” Tracy responds, blowing off Stephanie. “hmm, yeah. I guess you’re right. Let’s head out.” Stephanie replied hesitantly, even though the gut feeling was still there.

Back at the scene, the driver of the BMW is pacing around, the panic really starting to set in for him. “oh God, what’s gonna happen to me?! Am I gonna get arrested? Am I gonna get sued?! This can’t be happening…” he thought out loud, showing just how selfish he was. Dr Lindsay is laying on the pavement in rough shape, and this guy’s only worried about what’s going to happen to him. What a jerk!

In the moment, all Lindsay could do was lay there and wait for EMS to arrive. She tried to move her legs again, but couldn’t move them in the slightest. The adrenaline was slowly but surely starting to wear off. The pain wasn’t unbearable, but she started to notice a few things. She felt a combination of soreness and tightness in her chest. Her flank/oblique area was painful to the touch, and some of the cuts and abrasions were beginning to sting. “he called 911, so they’ve gotta be coming.” Lindsay thought. But every minute felt like an eternity to both Lindsay and the driver for different reasons. Lindsay knew she was hurt pretty bad, and potentially paralyzed, but the exact extent of her injuries wasn’t known.

Finally, the ambulance pulls up nearby and comes to a stop. Stephanie and Tracy step out of the vehicle and make their way towards the patient. At first, Stephanie didn’t realize who it was- it just looked like a nameless, faceless female, but as she got closer, it all hit her, proving her gut feeling to be correct. “Dr Lindsay?!” Stephanie’s eyes widened, running over to her. Stephanie scurried over and knelt down, immediately tending to Lindsay. “Linds? What happened? Tell me what’s going on!” a concerned Stephanie asks. “He hit me…asshole was on his phone. Blew through the stop sign…” Lindsay says to Stephanie. Tracy heads over with the gurney and some other bits of equipment. “lindsay?!” Tracy exclaimed. “yeah…” Stephanie replied, nodding her head slightly. “possible spinal injury. I can’t feel my legs…” Lindsay informed the two familiar faces, tearing up a little. “blunt trauma to chest and flank area. Possible bleeding, maybe some broken ribs. Make sure I get a chest x ray and an echo when we get to the ED, ok?” Dr Lindsay says, ordering the two medics around as if she were treating a patient in the ER. Lindsay’s broken body was placed on a backboard and a c-collar was placed, and she was wheeled into the ambulance.

Medic Tracy was going to drive, while Stephanie remained in the back with Dr Lindsay. Once in the rig, it was go time- lights and sirens blaring, speeding down the road. In the back of the ambulance, Stephanie snipped off all of Lindsay’s clothes, stripping her completely nude and barefoot. Lindsay had some noticeable bruising on her chest and flank area, and there were areas that had road rash and other abrasions due to the nature of the incident. Medic Stephanie began sticking EKG electrodes onto Lindsay’s bare chest. “here…let me do an IV.” Lindsay insisted, reaching over towards Stephanie’s gear. Doctors always make the worst patients, amiright? “no linds, you’re not playing around with sharp objects in your condition. I’ll take care of you, ok?” Stephanie responded, gently nudging Lindsay’s hand away. Stephanie began setting up the IVs while Lindsay eyes scanned over, looking at her own vital signs. “80/40, tachy at 130, pulse ox normal. Alternating QRS complex. I bet I have cardiac tamponade and maybe some internal bleeding near the flank. Maybe it’s my spleen, but it could be my kidney if the right spot was hit.” Lindsay told Stephanie.

The rest of the ambulance ride was pretty uneventful, and Lindsay arrived at the ER with similar vital signs. It was an odd feeling for Lindsay when she was wheeled through the main entry doors. She was always the one doing the walking and talking, but was never the one on the gurney. Stephanie and Tracy continued wheeling Lindsay in, and ended up in a familiar place- the trauma room. “oh my God, Lindsay?!” Dr Sarah blurted out, shocked to see who the patient was. The other nurses all chimed in, but Lindsay kind of zoned out. Not only was this a traumatic experience for her, it was a bit odd being the patient for once. Lindsay was moved onto the trauma room table underneath the large overhead light. Everything went silent for Lindsay and she zoned out for a bit. She flashed back to her very last shift the day before. On the very same table during Lindsay’s shift was a pretty, 30-something blonde who had her chest crushed in by a steering column in a horrible car accident. Lindsay cracked her wide open and massaged her heart, hit her with the internal paddles a bit, but she ultimately didn’t make it. For whatever reason, it was at that moment Lindsay knew she’d suffer the same fate as the blonde lady the night before. She couldn’t explain why, she just knew.

“Lindsay? You with us hun?” Nancy asked, doing a sternal rub on Lindsay, noticing she was a bit zoned out. Lindsay snapped back to reality. “huh? Yeah…” Lindsay said to Nancy. “did you guys do a chest x ray and an echo yet?” Lindsay asked, looking over towards Dr Sarah. “not yet, ran trauma labs and started you on transfusions. I also wanna check your lower extremities. The medics said you couldn’t feel your legs?” Dr Sarah replied. “No… I tried to get up when it first happened, but I just can’t.” Lindsay replied, surprisingly calm. “ok linds, I’m just gonna go check.” Dr Sarah announced, walking towards the end of the table. “Hey Lindsay, wiggle your toes for me.” Asks Dr Sarah. Lindsay’s feet stay completely still. Dr Sarah grabs her pen light and strokes the sole of Lindsay’s right foot for a reaction. “you feel that linds?” Dr Sarah asks, looking towards the head of the bed. Lindsay laid there teary eyed, fighting back crying. “no… nothing…” an upset Lindsay replied. Dr Sarah repeated the same process on the opposite foot. “what about that?” she asks. Lindsay’s voice got weak and her eyes more teary. “nope…” Lindsay said.

With Lindsay snapped back to reality, the adrenaline worn off, and Dr Sarah’s tests on her lower extremities, Lindsay realized that even if she got out of this alive, her life would be very different. The fear and uncertainty was starting to set in for Lindsay. “I’m gonna end up like the lady from last night…” she thought to herself, going deeper down that rabbit hole. While Lindsay was psyching herself out, Sarah lowered her stethoscope onto Lindsay’s bare chest for a listen. “ahh!” Lindsay winced in pain, squinting her eyes. Lindsay’s chest was pretty sore, and she experienced some point tenderness when Sarah took a listen. “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’ll be quick!” Sarah said. “lungs are clear, muffled heart sounds. Let’s get a chest x ray and an echo.” Sarah barked out to everyone else in the trauma team. The nurses sprung into action. Heather got all the x ray equipment set up, and nurse Nancy got the ultrasound machine set up.

First order of business was the chest x ray. The chest x ray showed a few broken ribs and a badly bruised sternum. The x ray also showed an unstable burst fracture at the L3 level. There were bone fragments embedded into Lindsay’s spine, and certain portions of the spine were completely severed, along with a hematoma in that general area- which is common. When the spine is injured, it tends to bleed a lot. Lindsay looked over at the x ray which confirmed her likely paralysis. She remained silent, but a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry sweetie.” Nurse Nancy says to Lindsay, stroking her hair a bit. An echocardiogram was then done, which confirmed Lindsay’s suspicion all along of cardiac tamponade. “yep, you’re right Lindsay. Tamponade. We’re gonna do a pericardiocentesis after I take a look at the abdomen, ok?” Sarah says to her. Lindsay remains silent but gently nods, tears going down her face. The abdominal ultrasound showed that there was a bleed in the upper left quadrant. “looks like a splenic lac, I don’t think your kidney or anything down that way was affected.” Sarah tells Dr Lindsay, looking at the monitor. “ok. So pericardiocentesis, then OR for me, right?” Lindsay asks, choked up. “yeah, that’s what it’s looking like. We’ll go ahead and get the pericardiocentesis going in a second, alright?” said Dr Sarah.

Lindsay saw Dr Sarah getting the big needle for the procedure and it struck a little fear in her since she was about to be on the receiving end of it. “I should’ve just skipped my run and slept in…” she thought to herself. She then felt the cold alcohol wipe sterilizing the area on her chest. Lindsay looked over and saw Sarah pick up the large needle. Lindsay looked over at nurse Nancy, tearing up with a nervous expression. “It’s gonna be ok sweetie. You’ve done this one a thousand times before. You got this!” Nancy replies in a reassuring tone, grabbing ahold of Lindsay’s hand. Sarah picked up the needle and took a look at Lindsay. “ok, I’m gonna start.” She says to her colleague. Lindsay looks over at Nancy and squeezes her hand, avoiding the sight of the large needle. Dr Sarah inserted the needle carefully into the 5th intercostal space a centimeter or two lateral to the apex. Lindsay felt a slight pinch, along with some pressure while the needle advanced further. When the needle was at the correct depth, Sarah carefully pulled back on the plunger of the needle. Lindsay felt slight burning, and a weird change in pressure inside her chest. The body of the needle filled with blood rather quickly, so Sarah delicately removed the needle. “repeat echo please.” Sarah said to the nurses. The echocardiogram was repeated, and Lindsay’s pericardium refilled with blood in an instant. “crap. That didn’t do the trick.” Sarah said in a frustrated tone. Sarah repeated the pericardiocentesis two more times, trying to aspirate all the blood that was squeezing Lindsay’s heart from the inside out, but the needle would fill up with blood, and the pericardium would almost instantly refill once the needle was out. “probably an active bleed from a cardiac chamber injury, maybe even a great vessel injury. You need to knock me out and do a thoracotomy and find out.” Lindsay told Sarah. “yeah… I agree. I’ve gotta open you up. I don’t think stable enough for the OR yet.” Dr Sarah replies in agreement. Lindsay gets choked up, and in a weak voice says “8.0 ET, push succs and etomidate. Get a thoracotomy tray…”, still trying to have a say in her own care. There was a pause, everyone realizing the gravity of the situation. “You heard her, let’s get going.” Dr Sarah breaks the silence, taking charge of the situation. Everyone began scrambling around, getting ready for the intubation and ensuing thoracotomy. “this is it…these are probably the last moments I’ll probably ever see…” Lindsay thought to herself. “They’re gonna crack me open, get the pericardium open, and I’m just gonna bleed out.” She added to her previous thought, going deeper down the rabbit hole.

The meds kicked in, and Lindsay went unconscious. Nurse Nancy got the 8.0 ET tube in, and secured it in place with a blue tube holder. Betadine was splashed across Lindsay’s bare chest, staining it a brownish orangey color. “pressure’s dropping doc.” Nancy said to Sarah, noticing the heart monitors are chirping louder and faster. Sarah then made a quick, decisive cut in Dr Lindsay’s chest beginning at the sternum, extending it to the left, underneath Lindsay’s hard left nipple, and ending a bit shy of her left armpit. While incising the underlying tissue, the monitors began beeping louder at faster. “BPs plummeting!” nurse Nancy nervously called out. Dr Sarah expedited the chest cracking, getting the rib spreader in, cranking the knob, and forcing her coworker’s ribs apart forcefully. Upon entry to the chest cavity, there was actually no blood loss whatsoever. “all that blood is probably in the pericardium. What’s the source of it though?” Dr Sarah thought, posing that important question to herself.

Next up, the thick, fibrous lining of Lindsay’s heart was opened. Sarah made a vertical cut in the pericardium, and quickly delivered the heart. With the heart delivered and the pericardium peeled back, there was a rush of blood. “suction!” Sarah asked. Dr Sarah then investigated inside of Lindsay’s chest cavity trying to find the culprit for her cardiac tamponade. Sarah both looked around and felt around, but couldn’t find anything. However, blood kept re-accumulating every handful of seconds or so. Suction was applied again, clearing the area out and allowing a line of sight to be reestablished. Lindsay’s vitals began to take a major nosedive in an instant. “push 250cc’s normal saline. Hang more o-neg on the rapid infuser!” shouted Dr Sarah, doing what she could to buy her colleague some time. The monitors beeped loud and fast, and the line of sight in Lindsay’s chest cavity became inundated with a tremendous amount of blood. Suction was applied to the area, making a wet slurping sound. Lindsay’s breathing tube began to fill with blood too. “hey, suction up here too!” Nurse Nancy called out. “Damn it, she’s crashing. Starting internal massage.” Sarah grumbled, reaching her hands into Lindsay’s bloody mess of a chest cavity and began vigorously massaging her heart. “airways clear.” Nancy announced. “meds in” said heather, injecting epi and atropine intravenously.

Sarah wrapped her hands around Lindsay’s strong, muscular heart and began pumping the frantically twitching organ with her own two hands. Nurse Lin stepped up to the plate and placed a vascular clamp on Dr Lindsay’s descending aorta near the diaphragm. “if it’s arterial, the bleed might stop.” Lin thought out loud. “good thinking Lin. Let’s hope we get to the bottom of this ASAP.” Sarah responded. Suction has been applied again to the thoracic cavity, but it was only doing so much. “how about a left chest tube for drainage?” Sarah asked, looking around at the rest of the trauma team. In a pinch, nurse Lin procured a chest tube and inserted it along Lindsay’s left ribcage. 1200ml of blood exited the tube and splashed Lin’s yellow trauma gown. The line of sight improved, but Dr Lindsay’s condition did not.

Lindsay remained in PEA for a bit, finally converting to v-fib a little after the 6 minute mark of the code. The internal paddles were charged to 20 joules, lowered into Lindsay’s chest around her heart, and the shock was delivered. A dull, wet thunk was heard, Dr Lindsay now on the receiving end of the internal paddles for once. Her heart more or less paused for a moment, then continued its erratic twitching motion. The internal paddles were recharged to 20 joules and lowered back in. A muted KA-THUMP was heard. Lindsay’s torso jolted sharply, but v-fib remained. “still nothing, let’s go again at 30. Everyone….CLEAR.” shouted Dr Sarah. The stronger shock caused Lindsay to grunt a bit and her eyes to open halfway. For a split second, the team thought they got her back because of that, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. “damn it! Again at 30!” Sarah yelled. The electricity of the next shock ran through Lindsay’s lifeless body, causing her toes to curl at the other end of the table, showing off the thin, prominent, silky wrinkles throughout the soles of Lindsay’s size 11 feet and the fresh coat of white nail polish on her toes. Unfortunately, Lindsay went back to PEA.

More meds were pushed and Sarah resumed internal massage. “come on linds…come on…don’t fuckin die…” the cute, nerdy redhead said under her breath. But that comment fell on deaf ears, and Lindsay didn’t regain a shockable rhythm for quite a bit. At the 19 minute mark of the code, v-fib finally reappeared. The blood soaked paddles were called for and charged to 30, another shock being delivered. Lindsay’s chest jumped quickly for a moment, her beautiful blue eyes remaining half open, blankly gazing up above. “still nothing, charging to 40.” Says Sarah. The large, spoon shaped objects are called for yet again, and the next shock is delivered. The stronger shock bends Lindsay’s already broken body out of shape for a millisecond before falling limp again. Dr Sarah shocks Lindsay again at 40 joules, once again to no avail. “come on linds… come on. Everyone….CLEAR!” Sarah shouted out, delivering the next shock. Dr Lindsay’s heart tensed up for a moment, then started to flutter uselessly again. “Still nothing!.... CLEAR!” Sarah yelled out passionately, hitting Lindsay with the internal paddles again. The jolt of electricity picked Dr Lindsay’s legs and feet up above the table as it traveled through her body, causing her feet to leap up and crash back down all within the span of a second, showing off her hot, wrinkly soles once again. After another 3 shocks, Lindsay deteriorated back to PEA, so internal massage was resumed, along with the next dose of meds.

Dr Sarah worked passionately at massaging Dr Lindsay’s heart. “come on…come on…” Sarah said under her breath, looking at the monitor, then down at Lindsay’s heart. Dr Sarah squeezed, trying to force blood through her friend and coworker’s body, attempting to temporarily do the job of her heart. Things only got worse as the code droned on. Lindsay went from PEA to agonal, then from an agonal rhythm to asystole. Dr Sarah could feel the movement of Lindsay’s heart grow weaker and weaker the longer she remained in cardiac arrest. Eventually, Dr Lindsay’s heart came to a gentle stop, becoming motionless, falling limp within Sarah’s gloved hands. Sarah kept massaging Lindsay’s heart, and ordered another dose of meds to be pushed into Dr Lindsay’s IV line. Even after several minutes worth of efforts and another dose of drugs, nothing changed.

The room grew eerily silent as the code droned on and on with no signs of improvement. You could hear a pin drop in the room, but the tension was palpable. Sarah kept massaging Lindsay’s heart, doing anything and everything she could, while nurse Nancy puffed the ambu bag every few seconds as Dr Lindsay’s beautiful blue eyes remained half open, staring upwards. Sarah stopped internal massage at the 30 minute mark of the code. “asystole on the monitors…” she says, shaking her head, forearms deep into Lindsay’s chest, massaging away. “pupils fixed and dilated, maxed out on meds.” Nurse Nancy adds. At that point, the scary realization hit the trauma team- Dr Lindsay was gone. There was an eerie pause in the room, and the only noise was the flatlined monitors. “does anyone have any other suggestions?” Dr Sarah asks. Nobody responds initially. “you can’t give up on Lindsay. We have to try a little longer, right?!” heather shouts passionately, teary eyed. Nobody answered heather, knowing exactly what was to come next. Dr Sarah ceased internal compressions, removed her hands from Dr Lindsay’s chest, peeled off her blood soaked gloves and looked over at the clock, making the most difficult decision of her life. “time of death, 6:49am. I’m sorry linds…” Sarah says, absolutely defeated, holding back tears, feeling partially guilty about being unable to save Lindsay.

Nurse Nancy detached the ambu bag and heather switched off the flatlined monitors. Lindsay’s eyes remained half open while the EKG electrodes were plucked off her chest, appearing as if she was watching nurse Lin do that. Nurse Heather started crying when beginning to fill out Dr Lindsay’s toe tag. “I can’t do it…” heather cried, storming out of the room, hands to her face. Nurse Nancy finished the toe tag, and Lin placed a cover over Lindsay’s body with her eyes still half open, concealing the face of their beloved friend and coworker. Last but not least, the toe tag was placed on the big toe of Lindsay’s left foot, dangling in front of her cute, wrinkly soles. Just like that, Lindsay became the beautiful woman toe tagged under a sheet in the emergency department. Dr Lindsay’s life ended in the same place she spent so much of her time.