#This man just absolutely stans his partner's passions in life

[ohhellnova]

You were swept up in the Animal Crossing craze like everyone else, which Ghost originally thought was a bit ridiculous.

And then you caught him sneaking peaks out of the corner of your eye.

About a week later, you were going through some paperwork and stumbled across detailed, handwritten lists in his handwriting on the best ways to evict certain villagers and how to grow blue roses.

[100-gar]

Okay these thoughts are destroying my soul from the inside so lemme explain exactly why this page is fucking everything to me.

Stan's endlessly devoted to Xeno. He's proven this time and time again, he'd go to the ends of the earth and personally burn it all down just for this man.

They lost the fight. They were petrified again. It could have very easily been their last moments alive. But he wakes up, and the first thing he sees is Xeno, looking at him with those big, excited eyes, giving him a job. He's unsure what's happened while he was stone, how long Xeno's been awake without him, at the mercy of the KoS. But Xeno looks good. Healthy. Clearly, for however long he's been "captive," Xeno's been safe.

Stan's first move is to grab him. He's so gentle as he wordlessly checks him over for any sign of harm, but there's none. In fact, Xeno's got this earnest brightness Stan hasn't seen on him in thousands of years, back when they were kids. Maybe it's the change of scar, but he seems so much lighter now. They so clearly treated Xeno well, let him do his science and gave him a purpose, let him fulfill his passions. They gave him some of his hope back.

Of course Stan's going to take this mission. It's the least he can do after all they've put these kids through, and they still were so good kind to Xeno. He owes them this much. (Though, if Xeno asked him to, he probably would have gone right back to the war room. Bro's devoted.)

And like, on Xeno's side, the touch makes his expression change completely. He drops his guard just a bit, because oh my science did he miss Stan.

Xeno says nothing. He understands that Stan needs this moment, this confirmation. And he absolutely needs it to, he's missed Stan so much. Holding himself back from reviving Stan has obviously been painful. He's visited Stan's statue often, taken care of him, but he hasn't allowed himself to bring him back. Not yet. Maybe he knew it would be too tempting, and he wanted to ensure he followed these kids' pipe dream to the end before he gave in and went back to the world domination plan. But their dream became reality, and now he gets Stan back, and he just looks so happy oh my god. Gen was right, even though the scientists aren't the type to show it, Xeno and Stan's separation has been eating the dr up inside. Somewhere along the way he gave up on conquering the world and he just wanted to do science and solve this mystery and get his knight back.

And the way he's so devoted to Stan as well, showing it not with mushy flowery words but with how he showers him with gifts, makes sure he has everything he could ever want or need, just as long as he stays by Xeno's side. Xeno knows he's a weight on Stan's shoulders, so he makes up for it wherever he can, but to Stan it's not a burden, it's his life partner.

Bonus panel cuz i thought it was adorable

Look at Xeno's lil necktie! And he hasn't been able to give Stan makeup yet. Stan looks so fond i just!!! They're so good your honor they love each other so much.

[ohmytomorrowisthursday]

AOT Characters As Actors

OKAY I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN DONE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE but I cant help but want to join in because its so fun.

Imagining the characters of AOT as their actor selves after the show is wrapped up. Pls enjoy! <3 LMK if u want a part two

Ymir (Scouts): One of the sweetest people on set, just really good at playing such an asshole, lol. The one during the press tours to make sure that Gabby, Falco and young Ymir are all okay. Making sure that paparazzi aren't bothering everyone and generally getting along with the whole cast. Goes on social media after and does a whole soft-girl rebrand so that people know shes that good at acting.

Jean: THIS MAN WOULD BE OUR PEDRO PASCAL. Absolutely loves the love he gets from his stans and loves watching fan account compilations of him. Wears wild looks on the red carpet because he knows the fans are going to go crazy. Posts photos of himself in costume backstage becuase he knows we'd EAT IT UP. Silly and goofy and generally just loves to say he was a part of the show. Would love to do costumed appearances for late night shows and fan meetings; he just absolutely loves the fans and his role.

Erwin: I feel like as an actor he'd be so funny. He's the star who anchors the show and gives it the original buzz. He's always playing jokes on his co-stars and loves messing with everyone. I feel like him and actor Zeke would get along so well and just mess with people. Not a huge social media guy but I feel like he'd post group pictures of the cast at the premier with the caption "We did it, guys". Does a whole GQ cover and interview to promote the show.

Hange: This is their debut role and I feel like the public just IMMEDIATELY falls in love with them. I feel like actor Hange would be so shy and intimidated by the love for the character they play. But the public would love them even more for that and encourage them soooo much. Levi is like their biggest supporter and always hyping them up during interviews. Would post a long love-letter-goodbye speech to their character on Instagram after the show ends. Would sooo steal looks at award shows. Gets into some really big A24 movies and shows after and is in general, just killing it.

Mikasa: She would be the IT girl after the show was over. Her haircut would be trending on tiktok and people would be photographing her everywhere. I see her being someone who adopts parts of Mikasa into her everyday persona. Becomes really passionate about supporting young women and girls in her spare time. THE RUMOURS ABOUT HER AND EREN ARE FLYING. Like everyone is constantly wondering if they're dating in real life or not. In the end, I feel like they'd both stay friends but people would always wonder. Post a lot on social media and has a ton of followers. Zendaya vibes; gets into everything and does so well and ALWAYS EATS IT UP AT AWARD SHOWS

Armin: By the end of the series, Armin is like the new heartthrob of the whole series. I feel like irl he's actually pretty confident and outgoing. Like, he would try his best to change his brand from sweet inquisitive nerd to bad boy by doing like 'rugged' GQ shoots and generally going for more 'action hero' characters outside of the show. HARD LAUNCHES A PARTNER AT THE FINAL PREMIERE and everyone is like omg ARMIN THEY'RE FINE AS HELL. Really enjoys the action and thriller genres and does a lot of movies of those kinds.

Eren: The character really shapes him as an actor (obvs) and I feel like he gets cast in a lot of similar protagonist roles. Everyone loses their minds for shirtless rebel Eren with long hair, and I feel like he's actually kind of shy about it when he talks about it during press interviews. Super jokey and really into fashion (like cool vintage fashion) and people like to emulate his style. Really gets along with everyone and, like, has absolute eyes for Mikasa during interviews (like their chemistry is flying) and there's all these fan theories that he loves her but they just remain friends. I feel like he goes off the map from acting for awhile after a demanding film schedule to travel the world, and his feed is just cool film pictures of his adventures for a bit. Kind of a private dude, but absolutely adored.

Levi: Okay this show is Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man for Levi. He was like a teen hearthrob and then some kind of drama happened in his early 20's and he fell off the map for a few years. He comes back for this role and everyone is like OH MY GOD HOW DID WE EVER STOP SEEING HIM IN MOVIES HES THE BEST. I feel like his life would be similar to his existence in the fandom now lol; people would absolutely love him. I feel like he's a really down to earth guy (KEANU REEVES TYPE) and during his break from blockbuster hits he was in a bunch of amazing indie movies that get popular after the show, and theres just a million pictures of him back in the 90's/2000's where people are just fawning over Levi in his 20's. Does a lot of magazine and video interviews but isn't particularly active on social media (not his thing) and that makes him even hotter to people. He'd write a book after to tell his life story. And like, you know actor Levi has an absolutely ridiculously hot partner and they've been married for years and he's just THAT GUY.

OKAY THATS IT! I hope you enjoyed this post, lmk if you want another part with more characters! <3

[1kook]

disney+ & bust

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.  warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!

notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER

please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3

previous part: kissanime & foreplay

Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.

He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.

Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.

And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.

On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.

You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.

Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)

He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.

The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.

As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.

“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.

Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.

Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.

However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.

Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.

You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.

All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.

“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.

Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.

You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”

Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.

“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”

He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”

Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.

You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”

You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”

From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”

You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.

He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.

The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”

You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”

The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”

It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.

With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.

Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.

Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.

Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.

So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.

Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.

All men do is lie.

Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.

You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.

You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.

Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.

Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.

Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.  

You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.

You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.

Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.

Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.

You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.

You don’t laugh.

Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.

“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.  

Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.

You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.

“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”

For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”

Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.

You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.

When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”

You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”

“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?” 

“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”

He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”

You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.

Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”

You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.

Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”

“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.

You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.

A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.

The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.

“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.

It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”

“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”

“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“

“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”

With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.

Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.

“No,” you respond.

You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.

As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.

Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?

You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.

You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care

—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.

You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.

There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.

It’s not.

It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.

The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).

He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”

You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.

“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.

Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.

By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?

You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.

“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.

“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.

“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”

His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.

Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.

“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.

He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”

You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”

“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”

You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.

Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”

He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.

When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.

With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.

He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.

By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)

Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.  

Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.

You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.

Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.

You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”

You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.

The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.

You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”

Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”

His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.

Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”

He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”

You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.

“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”

Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”

His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”

He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”

Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.

Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.

Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”

You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.

He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence. 

Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.

Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”

“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.

“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”

Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”

“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”

Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.

You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”

He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”

After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.

You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.

Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”

You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.

“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”

A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.

“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.

“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.

You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”

He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.

Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”

Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.

You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.

“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.

While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.

The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.

Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.

Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.

And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.

(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)

But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”

Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”

Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.

“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.

Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.

A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”

“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.

“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”

His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.

Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.

Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”

You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”

Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”

You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.

“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”

You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”

Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”

“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.

Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.

Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”

“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”

“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.

You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.

He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.

You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.

“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”

Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.

You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.

Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.

Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.

Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”

“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.

Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”

He loves you so much it aches.

“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”

A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.

You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.

Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”

You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”

Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”

A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.

With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.

“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.

“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.

It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.

There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.

A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.

“Impossible,” he scoffs.

Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.

“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.

You nod. “Please.”

He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.

You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.

“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.

Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”

epilogue

commercial break one ; the resolution

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[princeescaluswords]

In fandom's BLACK-AND-WHITE thinking, they erase the complexities of the dynamics between the Hale and Argent families in favor of reducing it to "Hales Good, Argents Bad" and I laugh at the blandness of that. Because if they do remove Scott as the focus of the show and you're left with the two aristocratic white dynasties... Shouldn't we be giving them complexity? But so frequently, the Argent family is reduced to two dimensional, gun toting, werewolf hating bigots. They exist solely for the Hales and Stiles to have an antagonist to best.

And that's another thing. Why must Scott bend the knee to the Hales? Why not swear loyalty to his girlfriend's family? He wants Allison safe and wants actual help for his condition, and his experiences with werewolves have all been negative thus far, so he could offer them info on Derek who he thinks bit him. Why shouldn't Scott side with the other rich white family? Why should Allison defect and pledge loyalty to Derek to earn respect from stans, instead of sticking with her family?

You know, whenever I see posts about "your high-school English teachers should have bullied you more," I always think about the way Teen Wolf fandom treats the narrative of the first two seasons.

Because they watched the Hales and the Argents and how they acted. They watched the Argents treat a grieving young adult who just lost one of his few remaining relatives and a sixteen-year-old boy thrown into a violent world against his will as potential threats at best and animals to be slaughtered at worst. They watched the Hales murder, mutilate, bully, deceive, manipulate others -- both the innocent and the guilty -- at will because they had physical power, prestige coming from wealth and influence, and a sense of entitlement so great that they felt they needed to answer to no one.

And the Teen Wolf fandom thought that the correct way to engage with this story was to pick a side.

It's like watching or reading Romeo and Juliet and interpreting it as a condemnation of teenage passion, as if Romeo and Juliet were the true villains of the play because they fell in love with each other instead of complacently pursuing an ancient grudge enabled by their respective families' privilege and the indifference of civil authorities. (Whenever someone reads about Romeo and Juliet committing suicide yet fails to realize that the cause of it wasn't their love but Tybalt's and Mercutio's deaths and the consequences of them, I have to take an aspirin.)

And I don't want to hear that 'it's a teen show!' as an excuse, as if teenagers aren't capable of identifying unjust social structures and rejecting them. The fandom doesn't reduce Teen Wolf to 'white men hot' because they are unable to grasp the nuance that an attractive character can react to the trauma inflicted upon them in unhealthy ways. They do it because they choose to do it.

And that's fine. Really, it is. But if they want to respond shallowly to a story and then talk about it publicly, they should be prepared for someone else to point out that they're responding shallowly. If they feel the need to justify their lust for the nearest white man by painting the lead protagonist, his romantic partners, and his mentor with racist and sexist caricatures and then talk about it publicly, they should be prepared for someone to point out that what they're doing is racist and sexist. That's how conversations work.

Your observation that Scott could have easily chosen to side with the Argents during the early seasons is absolutely true. I don't think it's a stretch to say that he might have had a better life enslaved by the Argents than he would have had he been enslaved by the Hales. Think about it. The Hales saw Scott as their property because of the Bite, to be ruled and used as they saw fit, and were willing to manipulate, mentally violate, and physically beat him into complying, with additional threats against his friends -- including his best friend -- and his mother. The Argents saw Scott as a dangerous beast to be controlled and were willing to manipulate, socially ostracize, and physically beat him into complying, with additional threats against his friends -- including his best friend -- and his mother. At least if he had sided with the Argents, he wouldn't have to listen to some vicious werewolf claim 'the Bite is a gift' while crawling up into his brain in order to turn him into their pet killer.

The story of the first few seasons of Teen Wolf is about Scott seeing the blood-soaked privilege of the Hale monsters -- monsters because of how Peter and Derek acted, not because of their species -- and seeing the prejudiced corruption of the Argents -- using a purpose and a Code made meaningless over centuries as cover for their actions -- and said "You know what? I'll pass on both and treat people as valuable in and of themselves."

That's what makes him the lead protagonist and a hero.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[texassmashbitch]

Monster~

Aone Takanobu x Reader!

A/c: Okay so I previously did a Aone x Reader so if you saw that I apologise (҂⌣̀_⌣́)  just pretend you didn’t see it. I decided to redo Aone’s Hc and delete the old one, so don’t bother looking ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑  if my Hc’s don’t make sense I pray that Lord Asahi will provide me with some guidance ~(˘▾˘~) but this is really just for me to type up scenarios I’ve had in my head for a long time and if you enjoy it then (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Please tell me if he seems out of character (ﾟ∩ﾟ)

warnings: Swearing, Angst, wanting to punch someone in the face, lil bit of sexual seasoning here and there ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)  you have to read to see if there’s fluff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You and Aone have known each-other since highschool, it has currently been 4 years.

During your highschool years you managed the Date Tech Boys volleyball team which explains why you were close friends with Aone

You’re a successful Architect and Aone works for a construction company building one of the buildings you designed.

Aone had liked you since the day you re-appeared in his life and spoke to him as if you never left.

He finally gained the courage to ask you out and you accepted because you lowkey had feelings for him to.

Your feelings for him started when he treated you as if you were a normal person and not someone who had a lot of money. He would still pay for your lunch whenever you ate out, he would still buy you flowers and he would still buy you coffee if you were ever stressed.

You didn’t have a lot of friends because how they would only ask you out to hang if they wanted you to pay for it, which you caught on to and kicked those (those useless mf) people to the curb.

Aone doesn’t really express his emotions and you're absolutely fine with it but sometimes bottling up those emotions is not good for a relationship.

You were giving the businessmen who were interested in buying your building a tour of what still needed to be done and happened to go past Aone’s work station.

“If you look over there you’ll see that the elevator is still in progress” you pointed out for the businessmen but just as you were about to continue walking one of the businessmen put his hand on your right buttcheek and gave it a firm squeeze which Aone happen to see “Um excuse me sir get you-” you were about to say but your boyfriend had already grabbed him by the collar and had him hanging off the ground “What do you think your doing?” the businessman said, Aone didn’t reply he was just breathing heavily down the businessman’s neck “Aone, baby, that’s enough okay? I’m fine” you reassure your boyfriend “No your not. He touched you” Aone said sternly, you cupped Aone’s face and turned him to look at you “Look baby, i’m really okay” “Plus if you would’ve come any later, i would’ve beat his ass” you say clenching your jaw turning to look at the businessman, Aone lets out a sigh and nods his head, letting the businessman go “What a pity, such a beautiful face paired with such a horrendous monster” the businessman told you, (omg i wish a dude would disrespect Aone in front of me) you slowly raised your hand into the air and slapped his face into next week Thursday “How dare you speak about my partner like that” you said dangerously “May I remind you that this is MY building and you just insulted MY partner, if you don’t leave right now i will throw you out myself” you said to the businessman with clenched fists “Pfft like I wanted a building designed by a women who clearly knows nothing and should just stay in the kitchen” the businessman laughed “I think the fuck no-” you were about to throw your hands but a strong arm had been wrapped around your waist holding you back “But Aone he sai-” “No” Aone replied “Fine” you huffed out annoyed “Leave. now.” Aone said before the businessman left smirking. At 6pm, you and Aone had finished work, you had both agreed to spend the night at Aone’s apartment “Baby what are we gonna have for dinner?” you say to your boyfriend coming out of the bathroom from his shower, he just shrugs his shoulders and continues to dry his hair “Um mister where are you going? Your girlfriend is starving” you go to grab his shoulder but he gently pushes your hand off and continues to walk into his bedroom with you following behind “Baby? Are you okay?” you ask as he sits on the bed and he just grunts “You know you can talk to me?” you say as you sit next to him but he moves away, you continue to move closer to him when he moves away “STOP!” he yells “Time alone” he continues “Oh…… okay, i’m sorry” you say and leaving the room, you sit on the couch facing the blank Tv thinking of all the things you could’ve done wrong but in his room Aone kept replaying what that businessman had said “What a pity, such a beautiful face paired with such a horrendous monster” he wondered if that was how you saw him as well and wanted to distance you from him, he may seem emotionless even though this man was far from it. Aone got so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the time 12:15am, he walked to the living room to find you sleeping on the couch in a crouching position as if you were waiting for him even though he asked for space, he let out a sigh along with a small smile, he leaned down and moved the stray hairs and placed a kiss on both your cheeks and forehead, by the time he pulled away from your forehead you had woken up and looked at him with eyes full of sadness and tears “I’m sorry Aone” “You did nothing” he said while caressing your cheek “I made you sad, am i being too clingy?” you ask your boyfriend “ Of course not” he smiled “Then wha-” “I had what that businessman said about our relationship stuck in my head” he looked down embarrassed retreating his hand from your cheek down to his side “Ngawww baby the fact that you believed him in the first place breaks my heart” you catch his retreating hand and kiss his knuckles “I promise you that you are not a monster” you continue to kiss up his arm reaching his shoulder “Matter of fact your a teddy bear” you kiss his collarbones through his t-shirt and up his neck “my teddy bear” you leave kisses along his jaw and finally reaching his lips engaging in a passionate kiss, you FINALLY pull away leaving a thin string of saliva still connecting the both of you “Does that show you how much you mean to me?” you say huffing and puffing “No” Aone says bluntly “What do you mean ‘no’?” you say furrowing your eyebrows “Need more” he says with pink cheeks “Aone, baby your gonna have to tell me what you mea-” before finishing off your sentence Aone had thrown you over his shoulder, you let out a high pitched ‘EEK’ “I will show you now” his says while walking to the bedroom “Oh lord Asahi it’s me again” you say as your boyfriend places you on the bed and hovers over you “I didn’t mean it” Aone lets out while hovering over you “Huh?” “Pushing you away when it wasn’t your fault” he said and you were in such awe of how caring this man on top of you was “Baby it’s really okay” “Are you sur-” this time your turn to cut him off by pulling him down by the collar to kiss you deeply, which he did, along with a whole lotta other things.

Was written at 3am once again and I’m sorry if it’s short ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

Once again we stan underrated characters around here (っ◕‿◕)っ and if you don’t, oh well life sucks for you ¯\_〳 •̀ o •́ 〵_/¯

[lunar-writings-love]

College!AU - Hongjoong (ateez)

ahaha so i’m baaaack ;; super sorry for all the inactivity babes life has been weighing down on all of us i’m sure and i needed some time! This is the next installment of the college!au ateez series, and although i had planned to have hongjoong last, y’all requested him so much i wrote him next and changed the order around! 

Author’s note: Bullet fic, 

Warnings: like a drop of angst if u squint ?? the word sh!t appears one time i think

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hongjoong:

he’s so cute i’m Sad

ok so Joongie is just so loved, so treasured by everyone ,, every time he enters into a room everyone just 🥺

he’ll walk into a room looking all sleepy in overalls or something and literally everyone’s parental instincts awaken from the depths of college emotional indifference and suddenly ,, 

there’s world peace it’s a sight to see 

so, our Hongjoongie is actually a double major!! 

he’s a world lit major, and he’s minoring in gender studies so his emphasis is on analyzing feminist texts 

more often than not, the best way to find hongjoong is to just go to the library on the south side of campus at odd hours at night and you’ll usually find him buried underneath a pile of books ;; (and more often than not he’ll also be sleeping because baby can’t stay awake to save his life ://) 

But he really does love his major ,, and If u let him ,  he’ll rave hours and hours about literature; analyzing them through historical context, societal reflection, the role of women, writing style..... 

....he just loves what he does and it makes everyone around him love him for it too!! 

He always has extensive talks with Yeosang (an english major who took a lot of lit classes with hongjoong hint go read the yeosang!au) on american 19th century feminist writings

they started their own book club and it’s literally just them two, no other members allowed, and all they do is eat finger sandwiches and shit on misogynistic men we sTAN

HoWEVer, although hongjoong’s work in literature is impressive and respected, he’s probably better known for his second major: 

music composition!

music is the love of his life ,,, no buts there’s nothing he’ll love more than his art (except maybe you aha ha ha ;)

and people knew him around campus becaaaauseeeeee ,,,,, he would usually ,,, dj at frat parties... 

it wasn’t something he particularly liked, but hey money is money.

in all seriousness though, when hongjoong wasn’t reading or writing papers, he was glued to his mac producing tracks and writing lyrics 

the only thing was ,,, he didn’t actually sing any of what he wrote 

he never thought his own voice suited his songs, and would much rather sit on the sidelines moving along the creative direction 

and although the boys usually are the ones to sing his demos,, joongie always felt like something was still ,,, missing 

this is where u come in wink wonk 

you’re just a lowly econ major who surprisingly !! doesn’t !! want !! to start your own fortune 500 company :DD !! wow so rare :) 

anYWaYS,, you’re just doing it cuz your parents pressured you into pursuing a career with stable job opportunities and you’re kinda good at math and graphs soooo 

....why not 

but to be honest, you always felt trapped 

you were never able to stop that feeling of impending doom when you’d open your macro-econ textbooks ,,,

or how your heart hurt when you think about the fact that your life is headed straight to an incredibly mundane future :

a desk job, an overpriced apartment that barely has enough room for you, living in constant air pollution from the city’s high carbon emissions, never finding true love, dying alone with 50 cats,  taxes...you get the drift

you usually pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, negativity isn’t productive and right now you had a world economics midterm to study for

but..

not that you’d ever admit it, your true passion had always been music 

you weren’t the best composer, you knew just enough piano to get you but; but you had a set of PIPES dAmN

your friends could usually find you at the dorm’s music rooms ,, and whenever you felt stress or needed to unwind, you’d usually head over to those rooms

now ,,, these rooms are soundproof // but the trick is you actually have to close the door cuz if u don’t......

everyone can hear you 

and by everyone I mean the entire floor

you were doing your usual thing at the music room one night when one of your friends came in to let you know everyone would be heading over to dinner soon,, u promised only one more song before meeting them upstairs on your dorm floor 

hoWEVeR, U DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WHEN YOUR FRIEND WALKED AWAY THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN 

and soo ,, when u started singing again  //// everyone heard 

and by everyone i mean ???!?

hongjoong :))

and it was love at first sight ,,, or rather 

,, love at first listen??

he won’t ponder over the semantics, all Hongjoong knew was that he had been looking for a voice like yours and needed you on his tracks 

this man barged into the room and begged you to lend your voice for his songs 

...on his knees :00

you were in shock like what were you supposed to do?

this random man stormed in and got on his knees ,, 

what was next ??

marriage ????

u didn’t really say anything for a while just kinda looked him in his eyes 

but then your uwu instincts kicked in--u don’t know what it is about this dude but u just wanna like give him candy or something 

and so you hesitantly asked for his name 

and that’s when hongjoong realized he was an IDIOT 

because not only was your voice heavenly, but of course you were cute too and he just presented himself like a complete and utter maniac and He Didn’T eVEN bOTHER To TelL You hIS NAme!

he wanted the ground to swallow him up but alas 

he got off his knees and shyly stuck out his hand and told you his name 

you looked at him once again ,, and surprisingly 

you took his hand with a small smile on your face 

you ended up totally forgetting about dinner with your friends at the dining hall 

because hongjoong sat beside you on the piano bench and showed you his songs and lyrics, and you....fell in love <3

you’d never connected with anyone on this type of emotional level before and it was almost sort of overwhelming 

it also kinda gave you hope too ,, because here was Hongjoong ,, someone who managed to get the best of both worlds : a music and a lit degree

and you thought that maybe ,, you could do something with music too 

you guys exchanged numbers and scheduled to meet at the university’s recording studio that weekend 

Hongjoong composed a track and you added your own lyrics with his help--after two weeks of mixing, mastering, producing, and recording ,,, you guys officially released a single!!

you really weren’t expecting it, but hongjoong was a bit of a social butterfly and so the song became a hit on campus 

people were uploading it to their social media, sharing it with friends, playing it while they worked out, it was kinda ridiculous to you 

the student paper even wrote an article about it (and later you found out that the journalist was one of hongjoong’s friend’s girlfriend ,, (hint go read the yunho!au)

And when the song reached 10,000 streams, that gave you the confidence to do what you had always wanted to do 

you called your parents up on a Saturday morning to tell them you were picking up a vocal performance major 

you were extremely anxious for this conversation, so Hongjoong decided to stay by your side for moral support 

As both of you waited with baited breath for your parents’ response, Hongjoong was also right there just ,, holding your hand so sweetly,, and that was driving YOU INSANE 

(because in these past couple of months you had gotten to know Hongjoong you had mostly definitely, absolutely, completely fallen head over heels for him)  

after a long moment of silence, your parents agreed 

they weren’t too happy about it, but they also weren’t as against it as you thought they’d be--the only condition was that you’d continue with econ and instead double major 

it would honestly be hard considering the amount of mandatory classes and performances required of the vocal performance major, but you were too happy to care 

after your goodbyes with your parents, you looked over to Hongjoong with the biggest smile on your face 

and it just,, absolutely melted his heart 

before he could stop himself he just wrapped his arms around you and twirled you around

and then :) he gave you the softest kiss on your cheek 

of course, after it dawned on him what he had done, he instantly turned red and started chucking nervously as he stuttered his words 

but for you, the newfound confidence and ADRENALINE after your successful phone call with your parents, you grabbed both sides of his face and asked him if you could kiss him 

Hongjoong was wide-eyed but LIKE HELL he would pass up this up 

so after muttering out a shy yes, y’all kissed awwww :))

and after that, you guys became a couple! 

you’d show up to the frat parties he would DJ at and would always dance like an idiot with wooyoung in the corner of the room 

and you and hongjoong would always partner up for music composition and performance projects: Hongjoong would write the tracks and you’d sing for them

you guys were honestly such a soft couple 

you also picked up the habit of studying sleeping at the library with hongjoong because double majoring was hard and it required a lot of work

and it just, now became a thing for people to always find you along with Hongjoong sleeping under a pile of books 

you guys kept on releasing more singles after that, and are currently working on an EP!

and honestly, you were so incredibly happy 

you had the most amazing boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion 

and you felt just a little bit better knowing that your future was unclear

you no longer pictured yourself at a desk job, living out an absolutely dreadful life 

instead, you finally realized the multitude of opportunities at your disposal

and with Hongjoong by your side, you just knew everything in life would work out in the end!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

Love you guys! Stay safe and healthy!!

- Luna

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 15

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, sexual mentions

A/N:  hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

    - I think we suffer from the same thing, then … Sir. - her lashes fluttered slowly and Sebastian wondered if time had stopped moving and she was perhaps the only person who held that control.

    - Fuck it. - his hands flew to the sides of her face, grabbing her close to him so he could connect his lips to hers. Y/N fell down onto he couch, losing balance at the sheer veracity of the kiss. He swiftly turned her around so she was laying on top of his chest. The kiss seemed endless and every time it felt like it ended, he would kiss her again some longer some shorter. Her hands slid up and down his blazer, stopping at the top so she could pull it off him and throw it somewhere in the living room.

As his hands climbed up her torso, reaching the bottom of her sweatshirt until the lift binged. Y/N’s heart stopped as she pushed him off her, eyes widening as she saw Gwen walk into the entrance followed by her newer bed acquisition. The heiress paid barely any attention to the two of them, instead grabbing her bag from the hook. 

     - Try to be back by 5, we have that cabaret meeting, remember? - Sebastian spoke up before Gwen could return to the lift. 

     - I’ve already told you that I won’t be caught dead in a cabaret. - she rolled her eyes, lowering her dark sunglasses to the bridge of her nose. - Ask Y/N to go, she probably has nothing to do. 

     - It’s not Y/N’s job to ...

     - It’s okay. - Y/N softly placed her hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, trying to diffuse the fight that was surely about to begin if he decided to speak back to Gwen. She guessed he didn’t know to what extent she always got what she wanted and so, she thought that maybe her long and thorough knowledge in avoiding blow outs with Gwen could help him. However, Sebastian calmed down due to her soft touch and not because she decided to avoid a fight. She seemed to have that effect on him. - I’ll just fill in for Gwen, I have the free night. 

    - Are we done? - she whined like a five year old before jumping back into the lift once Sebastian dismissed the situation. Once the lift doors closed and the arrows above blinked the down, Sebastian wrapped his hands around Y/N’s waist effectively pulling her from the couch onto his lap. 

    - Where were we? - he questioned, pushing the hair away from her face that had inevitably moved out of place during the heavy make out. Her cheeks heated up as she moved her head into the space between his neck and shoulder, inhaling the smell of bergamot and pepper of his cologne. Sebastian always seemed to smell good in an intoxicating way that made her want to wrap her whole being around the scent. - Cuddling works too. 

   - We can’t do this. You know we can’t do this. - there was really not much force or containment left in Y/N and characters she used to loathe for their infidelity suddenly became sympathetic in her mind. Suddenly Y/N understood Anna, Cecilia, Constance and their passions for it seemed that once your heart made a decision, your mind couldn’t really argue it. So there she was now, out of arguments, out of reasons not to be in his arms, wrapped in his aura. She had lost all the reasons. Why should she be allowed to give into her passions when Gwen herself constantly did despite her impending marriage? Why should Y/N always be in the right? Was there even something known as right or wrong or was everything shades of greyness? - One of us must have self control.

  - Well, angel ... I hope you’re not expecting me to be the prudent one because I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. - Y/N pulled slightly back to look at his eyes. Eyes couldn’t lie as they were the window to the soul and the soul is too pure to be filled with lies. His eyes were softened, looking at her as if he had stated the most mundane fact in the whole entire universe, as if he had told her it was rainy outside, no big deal. - Besides, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her. 

   - Maybe you’re right. Maybe we ...

   - Mr Stan? - they were removed off their daizy daydream by a voice getting closer and closer. Yet, this time, none of them were fast enough or caring enough to separate from each other and as such Amelia walked in to her employer sat against the couch with one of his employees on his lap. Y/N cowered under her gaze, swearing mentally as Sebastian got up. - Your one o’clock meeting is here. 

   - Thank you, Amelia. - he cleared his throat before turning his head ever so slightly to look at Y/N. - I’ll see you tonight, angel. 

The handmaid nodded, bitting her lip as he left before her gaze shifted to Amelia who had a slightly hidden grin in her face, something she couldn’t exactly read. Was she gonna tell Gwen about the situation she had found? Was she gonna lecture her that the position was not something she should’ve been in with a married man? 

   - I must say, Miss Y/N, you’re quite the little box of surprises. 

   - Please don’t tell Gwen. - she rushed after her into the kitchen. - I know it’s wrong but I ... I really tried. 

   - Miss Y/N, it’s not up to me to judge your choices. Besides, I’ve always thought Mr. Stan needed a softer influence to get away from whatever manners his father taught him. 

   - But it’s wrong ... I’m such a bad person. - Y/N plopped down on one of the high chairs. - How would Gwen feel if she knew?

   - Well, how would you feel if it was someone else he was engaged to and not Miss Gwen? - Y/N rubbed her neck at the question. Was she only feeling bad because she knew Gwen ever since they were children? Would she have jumped into the affair without a thought? Was she that bad of a person. - People aren’t good or bad, Miss Y/N. No one is purely good and no one is purely bad.

   - I can’t explain an affair. Why would I do this? Her family raised me and could possibly kill me. How do I thank them? I kiss her husband to be in her home. Oh god, I’m a home wrecker ...

   - Now, now, Miss Y/N. You can’t be a home wrecker if those two never really wanted to be in a relationship. You can’t destroy something that isn’t there. 

Even with that Y/N spent the rest of the day wallowing in pity over feeling rather attracted to the mob boss. How could she not feel attracted to him? Not only did he appeal to her most primitive part but also to her modern side. Being next to him meant she was constantly protected, if no one dared to shot at him no one would shot at her. On the other side, he was absolutely stunning, well built and probably the nicest man she had ever met. True, she didn’t exactly know his mob persona but she didn’t exactly knew most of other mobsters business persona. 

She tried to busy her mind by considering what to wear to a cabaret. In the first place, she didn’t even knew that cabarets existed anymore and the only place she had ever heard about a cabaret had been the musical cabaret. What did people even wore to a cabaret? With that thought in mind she opened her wardrobe looked at the various dresses Gwen had handed out to her over the years. What was suitable to wear in a cabaret even? Did you dress like if you went to a nightclub? Maybe she should dress classically. Classic dresses were the most she had on her wardrobe due to Gwen having quite a few for cocktail parties and other high class gatherings but Y/N had always had a favourite one. It was an Elia Saab dress Gwen had gotten from one of her father’s associates. It was made of a short white sheer fabric which had been embroided with white flowers. It had always been one of Y/N’s favourites growing up as it reminded her of something a princess would wear, it was magical.

She grabbed the hanger of her wardrobe, pacing over to the bigger mirror with it. Once her reflection was seen in the mirror, she placed the hanger over her shoulder, playing with the fabric as she watched it in the mirror. It looked beautiful and the mere sight of it made her forget she was about to attend a business event with the man she was absolutely smitten with.

The time seemed to speed up faster and faster as Y/N gotten ready and before she knew it, it was time to go to the cabaret. Did she know what to expect? No. Was she nervous? Yes, but not entirely for the reason you’d expect her to be. She closed the door of her bedroom, face turned to the door.

   - You better not be trying to run away. - she moved her gaze from the door, noticing Sebastian at the end of the hallway. - Because it would be a pity not to show up to that meeting without such a little pretty thing like you on my arm. 

   - Am I your accessory now? 

   - Angel, anyone standing next to your is the accessory, not the other way around.

Sebastian had always believed Y/N was probably the most beautiful woman he’d ever come to see in his whole life but the dress and jewellery always took her to a level that the mob boss didn’t think humanly possible. If he said he wasn’t rather prideful of parading her around as they walked into one of the cabarets he’d inherit from his father, he’d be lying. She still did not understand why out of all places he and his associates decided to have a meeting in a cabaret.

She was quickly introduced to most people before being sat by Sebastian’s left, a place that was usually reserved for either the wife or partner of a mob boss. Y/N had been used to setting the table back at the Forrests and that was something that had gotten engrained in her mind as Mr. Forrest took it particularly personal on keeping sitting etiquette. She wondered if Sebastian cared about it. Y/N soon realised that the meeting was about to become private as some of the associates got up. 

  - Stay here. - he mumbled against her ear. - I better not hear about you wandering around. 

  - Or what? - Sebastian was a controlling man and he was certain that Y/N’s natural born curiosity was something hard to keep in control. However, this was a mob spot and he didn’t want her wandering around. 

  - I’ll spank you, angel.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld​ @sarge-barnes-sir @captainchrisstan @lookiamtrying

[hayscodings]

Been thinking abt this ask for a bit, what is your take on Penelope's sexuality?

whew, okay, this is something feel very strongly about so i apologize for the length in advance.

there tend to be two camps of people in this fandom when it comes to interpreting penelope’s sexuality and they are: (1) antis/cheryl stans who consider her to be heterosexual because they refuse to entertain the idea that she might be gay since they hate her; (2) people who have never given her character a second thought but listened to her red dahlia monologue and missed the entire point of it decided it somehow made her a lesbian.

then there are the handful of people in the parentdale fandom who know neither of those interpretations have any merit. because here’s the thing: penelope has canonically been shown to be attracted to men, and at the very least it has been implied that she’s attracted to women.

so let’s start with the former: her attraction to men.

if we think about her timeline in chronological order, the first thing we have to take into consideration is the fact that she slept around quite a bit in high school. see: “oh, it’s not that different from when i was younger and i had my pick of gentleman callers lining up every evening”. it’s important to note she says this very fondly, to the point where she does that whole looking-up-dreamily bit that one does when reminiscing about the past. keep in mind that at the time she was already aware that she was promised to clifford, and that the blossoms surely wouldn’t have approved of her going around with other boys.

there is no reason to believe she was hooking up with these guys for any reason other than she enjoyed it. she obviously wasn’t encouraged to date by her parents, she didn’t have anyone to impress considering the fact wasn’t popular, and it’s not like she could have gone around advertising these encounters anyway since she would have had to have kept them a secret from the blossoms. so that throws out any “she was pressured into it”/“she was trying to convince other people that she was attracted to boys” possibilities. the fact that she happily recalled these memories to cheryl alone casts serious doubt on them.

why excitedly bring up the memories at all if they were just reminders of a time when she was suffering as a result of heteronormativity? it’s not like cheryl encouraged her to share, or gave any indication that she would be impressed by such a revelation. penelope has nothing to prove to cheryl, anyway. the most logical conclusion is the one you get when you take her words at face value: she experiences attraction to the opposite sex and had fun exploring her sexuality in her youth. we’ll circle back to this later when we get to the subject of how comfortable she feels with sex.

so after high school she marries clifford. it’s a forced marriage, and one neither she nor clifford consented to-- but it’s what their parents groomed them for since they were children and something they’ve known was inevitably coming for years. now, for the purposes of keeping this as short as possible and not veering off topic, i won’t get into a whole analysis of their dynamic. all i will say is this: they were depicted as being entirely comfortable with one another in season one. they may not have come across as passionate or romantic, but you could tell they were partners (always on the same page, experts at nonverbal communication, trusting of each other, etc.). and what’s more than that, is they were constantly initiating affectionate gestures with each other: linking arms, putting their hands on each other, standing close together, hugging, etc.

their marriage may have been forced, but penelope genuinely cared for and felt safe with clifford. even after he died, there was a lingering attachment to him. nevertheless, that doesn’t make their situation any less traumatic. no matter how comfortable they felt emotionally with one another, the fact that they were groomed to be life companions and eventually forced to have sex with one another and raise children together, remains a very traumatic experience regardless. and we know penelope is still traumatized by it because she’s talked about it time and time again. if she was only attracted to women, that would add a whole other layer of trauma to the situation.

because if she was only attracted to women, she wouldn’t want clifford anywhere near here irrespective of the fact that they were raised together. hell, she couldn’t even close her eyes and pretend he was someone else while they were having sex. and she certainly couldn’t attempt to get to a place where the sex wasn't so awkward and uncomfortable. every encounter would be an unpleasant, pained, and traumatic experience. to the point where i can’t imagine she would want to be the recipient of any physical contact from clifford, much less frequently initiate it. in this scenario, it wouldn’t just be clifford’s relation to her that she would have to cope with, it would also be the fact that he was a man. even just going through the motions of being his wife would make her feel isolated and miserable.

which brings us to her job in s2 and probably the most solid indication of her attraction to men. in s2, we learn that the blossoms are broke and penelope is faced with the reality that she needs to get a job. let’s start with what she does to pay for the christmas tree cheryl bought: sleep with vic. was it necessary for her to do this? was it the only avenue she could have possibly taken to come up with some money in those circumstances? of course not. christmas trees aren’t that expensive-- she could have easily pawned any number of valuables in thistle house to come up with the money. hell, she could have chosen some cheryl owned to teach her a lesson. or something nana owned. or she could have simply...returned the tree. there was absolutely no reason for her to decide to sleep with vic if it wasn't something she was perfectly comfortable doing. why would this be her go-to solution if she was only attracted to women? her options were plenty.

then after this, what does she do? gets a job as a courtesan. which she delightedly describes as “providing comfort and companionship to the lonely men of riverdale”. and, as cheryl notes in that scene, she seems quite proud of herself for it. i have a very hard time reconciling how any of this would make sense if she wasn’t attracted to men. you can’t argue she was solely in it for the money, because when cheryl offers her an out via the second nick st. clair check, penelope declines to quit. in her own words, “oh, but cheryl, why would i stop, when i’m having such a good time?”. what, pray tell, would be the good time she was having if she didn’t enjoy the sex she was having with these men? keep in mind that, at this point, she wasn’t even doing any dominatrix work. at this point it was very much implied that she was focused on providing the “girlfriend experience”. so you can’t even argue that her enjoyment came from feeling empowered by dominating these men or whatever.

furthermore, not only did she hand-pick this very specific job herself and refuse to quit it when strongly encouraged and given the chance to, but she also had other options, same as she did in the situation with the christmas tree. she could have turned to hiram like cheryl suggested, she could have worked at pop’s like hermione did in s1, talked to weatherbee about a position like alice, looked at the listings in the register, or asked around about any job opportunities at highsmith, you know, the very prestigious college she graduated from and donated tons of money to and apparently sat on the board of?? the point is, penelope didn’t have to turn to sex work to pay her bills if she didn’t want to. and even if she had, she could have stoped the second cheryl handed her that check and begged her to. penelope went into sex work because she wanted to. and she's vehemently voiced how much she enjoys her work continuously and consistently since then.

then there’s her relationship with hal. this is the second strongest indication of her attraction to men. why? because she genuinely had feelings for him. when cheryl approaches her about the affair, assuming it to be a transactional encounter, penelope explains that, “it’s different, with hal. he’s not a client. it’s real”. if you pay attention to her facial expressions in that scene, you can see that there’s a certain softness and vulnerability to them. the way she delivers the line is especially vulnerable-- and penelope so rarely shows vulnerability in front of cheryl, so that alone says a lot. she then asks cheryl to “please stay out of it”. now, we don’t get to see much if any of penelope’s relationship with hal, but the bits we do see let us know that it’s not just some salacious affair. at least, not on penelope’s end. after cheryl drives hal away penelope is visibly upset and accuses cheryl of driving away her “one decent chance at a better life”.

we don’t need to unpack all of that, because penelope feeling like she can’t be happy without a man is an entirely separate issue, but the point is: she sincerely cared for hal and saw herself being happy with him. when cheryl dismissively fires back with “if that’s your idea of love”, penelope defensively snaps, “what would you know about it?”. that’s not the reaction she would have had if she had simply pursued hal because she was bored or wanted to cause some drama or was merely trying to mess with alice or something. you can’t say she was with him for money either, because: (1) she already had money at this point, (2) hal isn’t wealthy, and (3) she wasn’t getting any money out of him anyway since he wasn't a client. and if she was just looking to get hitched and settle down with a man for money, she certainly wouldn’t have gone after a married, middle class one with kids. that would not be a sensible strategy.

it’s also worth noting that nat stated in several interviews back in s2, while the affair plot was airing, that she believed penelope had real feelings for hal. she explained that penelope was lonely and, thus, “looking for a bit of warmth from somewhere”. so that’s how she was playing it.

then there's the maple club. just in case it hadn’t been established enough how much she adores her job, she had to go ahead and open a kink club. there really isn’t any need to drive the ‘she actively enjoys sex work’ point further, as i feel it’s been made explicitly clear already, but i do want to make one note, and that is that penelope was still taking clients while she was a madame. we saw her holding props in like, every other scene, and she was shown wearing nightgowns. so if anyone, for whatever weird reason, assumed she only opened the maple club so she wouldn't have to participate in the sexual encounters herself, i am here to burst your bubble.

and finally, we come to the scene that launched a thousand bad takes: the scene of the red dahlia monologue. in that scene, penelope utters the infamous words, “not people betty, men. they are the true poison”. in context, it is very clear that she is speaking from her many personal experiences with shitty men, seeing as before she delivers that quote she categorically details some of the traumas she has endured at their hands-- the murder of her son by her husband being one of them. that’s all that quote is about! the pain and betrayal she’s experienced from shitty, morally reprehensible men! it has nothing to do with her sexuality, and to make it so is to ignore and take away from the seriousness of her trauma. nothing frustrates me more than to see people misinterpret that scene and reduce it to some man-hating lesbian narrative bullshit. y’all can save that nonsense for cheryl.

also, the fact people were so quick to ignore penelope’s attraction to men in favor of calling her a lesbian feels very biphobic to me, and i will not have it. rip to everyone who thinks being bisexual is just Gay Lite™ and refuses to even consider the possibility when a character is indicated to be attracted to the same sex, but i’m different. not that that scene was any indication that penelope is attracted to women-- it was not. mistrusting men and being disgusted by their actions does not a lesbian make. that is literally just being a woman. but anyway.

the last thing i want to say before i get into penelope’s attraction to women is that there is no way she would be so comfortable with sex, or so confident expressing her sexuality, if she was a lesbian whose sole experiences with sex had consisted of meaningless high school hookups and over two decades of forced marriage to her brother. that just doesn’t add up. if she were a lesbian, s2 would have gone very differently. clifford’s death would have been liberating in more ways than one, and the last thing she would have done after finally being free of having to endure a heterosexual relationship is sleep with a random man to pay for a christmas tree, get into sex work, and pursue a relationship with a man. and go on to open a kink club. that just doesn't make sense.

so onto her attraction to women. this doesn’t require as much of an explanation, so i’ll try to keep it short and sweet since i’ve already written an obscene amount of words trying to answer this ask. i honestly can’t remember when i first started headcanoning penelope as bisexual, but i know i had been entertaining the idea of her being attracted to women long before the flashback episode aired. i’m not sure what it was, the ~vibe was just there. when i first got into the fandom i followed several people who shipped penelope and alice, and, while i didn’t care for the ship at the time (embarrassing, i know), the idea of penelope being interested in women felt very natural to me. maybe it was the violently sapphic schoolteacher/librarian aesthetic she had going on in s1, maybe it was the fact that her whole energy screamed ‘repressed’ to me. actually, i do think the latter is what initially got me wondering.

and then nat starting theorizing that penelope was attracted to women and that was very validating. i was briefly hopeful they would go in that direction in s2, but of course it never happened.

but then the flashback episode aired and bitch ?????? that one scene with sierra was gay as hell. i’m still very confused about why they played up penelope’s crush on sierra only to never go anywhere with it in present time, but  i’ll take my crumbs. all of the looks penelope gave sierra in that episode, the way she ignored her vandalizing the bathroom mirror while she grilled alice and hermione for their hall passes, the way she set up a quest just to get everyone out of the room so she could be alone with sierra, the subtle scoot towards her and “looks like it’s just you and me for a little bit, sierra” line with that dorky ass grin, the linking arms and smiling at her in the hallway??? there was nothing heterosexual about that.

and then there was the random, low-key coding in 3x12 where we learned that penelope graduated from a college named after patricia highsmith, referenced the price of salt, and used the word sapphic.....i still have questions about all of this. are we just supposed to believe she reads lesbian novels for science? and casually references them in conversation? where did she learn the word sapphic? if i asked my mom what the word sapphic meant she would have no idea what is was talking about. some food for thought.

also....her scenes with alice. that’s all i have to say.

i’m probably missing some things here, but that’s the bulk of it. i apologize for letting this get away from me...i just have a lot of thoughts lmao. anyway, i hope this was at least somewhat insightful and coherent. i appreciate the ask!

[thornsofdeath]

phf rants

as i’ve made clear im rlly impacted by this book. dont mind my lowkey venting

damn this is long

mista's coldness towards fugo / the stadium scene as a whole

it really really hurt me to see mista treating fugo, his old partner, his old friend like a dangerous enemy. i know he had his valid reasoning, but that very specific kind of angst shatters me. mista had his gun pointed at fugo for the entire stadium scene, not wavering for even a second. the worst part? it seemed like mista was trying to purposefully incite fugo to snap by right out insulting him and his stand, saying he was glad when fugo didn’t get on the boat. it seemed like he was egging fugo on just so he had an excuse to kill him, to get one more thing off his list of concerns. fugo as a person meant nothing at all to mista. when mista said “kill these traitors, or we’ll kill you” i wanted to cry. mista goes on about hoe fugo is a massive threat because purple haze is unhinged and can wipe out the enitre population if he wanted. fugo politely corrects him, as PH only has 6 capsules and can only attack 6 times in a day. did i see myself in that scene and feel fugo’s pain of just wanting to be left alone and not have to think about the past or the future, silent and melancholic during intervention and just feeling like the only way out is to kms right then and there? thats a secret ill never tell.  phf makes me smad.

there were some little details in purple haze feedback that got me thinking as well. in the 6 months between fugo’s leave and his cold reuniting with mista, fugo was playing piano at a bar. Most of the people who bring this up refer to it as just some cool trick he could get because he’s a rich kid. he is not. in flashbacks, it’s shown that bruno only knows how to cope with distress by isolating himself and bottling everything up. god, did i feel that. sheila e’s life goal was to kill illuso (to avenge her sister) and swore her life to giorno after finding out he killed him, it’s ironic though because in reality fugo had killed him, and in the first part of the book, they weren’t exactly friends. 

another part that really just made me wanna sob and bash my head into a wall was seeing fugo’s pure self hatred. since he was a child, he had it drilled into his head that if he couldnt produce results, he was worthless. after being disowned and thrown into jail with no future, he was completely hopeless. even after bruno came and took him in, he was never free of his liabilities. no matter what he did, he couldnt help seeing himself as some monster, failure, and burden. (kinnie moment) it worsened when he had to abandon bruno’s gang, his only saving grace was bruno, his light, hope, and acceptance. now he was stripped of that, gripped in fear knowing too well that betraying passione would end horribly. deep in his heart he wanted so badly to join them, to join his found family, but the logic he had drilled into his own head of knowing that betrayal was foolish and futile wouldnt let him have his way. hes back on the streets, just like how he was (or wouldve been after getting out of jail) after being disowned. he got a piano gig at a bar, and let himself wallow in grief and depression for 6 months. throughout the events pf PHF, we still see him clinging to memories and trauma. they say “what you let consume you will define you”, and i couldnt begin to describe it any better. putting all of the guilt and blame on his own shoulders, feeling he deserved it all and more. 

either i wasnt paying enough attention (this bitch got some rereading to do) or the purple haze distortion scene was kinda underwhelming. his character arc felt kinda rushed, like most of the book was establishing his bad state and constant flashbacks, and then all of a sudden he has confidence in his abilities and believes in himself. of course, im overjoyed he did get growth, and had a happy ending (depends on how you interpret it). stan fugio

vittorio’s fascination with pain really got me feelin. hgghhhhhhhh hh hnnhhhhh. he describes it well, wanting to feel his life force/energy in the form of pain so that he didnt ‘go extinct’, and the writing of it just saying straight up ‘cutting himself’ ‘hurting himself’ ‘self harming’ made my skin crawl. as someone who suffers with shit like that its both painful and relieving to know a character who has similar habits, whether it’s for the purpose of activating his stand or just to cope. 

2 times in phf, fugo does some kind of suicide attack. of course, he survives both. it’s never made clear whether or not he intended to die/didnt mind dying as it was a way of accomplishing his mission, but either way it got me heavy breathing. the last one especially, when he bites a virus capsule to kill volpe. did he know he’d grown and purple haze would miraculously save him with his own genius plan, or was he going out with a bang? luckily for me it wasnt really gone over like ‘hey you couldve died from that are you doing ok mentally’ or else i mightve felt nauseous reading it. im all for angst, but idk how much more i can take when its day 87 of quarantine and im numb as fuck just waiting to break down. 

angelica’s stand night bird flying (is probably not that complicated im just fuckin dumb) made fugo and everyone else hallucinate/dream. in fugo’s dream, it was pretty much an ideal au.  he was permitted to see his grandma when she was near death (preventing the professor scene), met bruno (fisher boy with fisher dad) on a boat and they became friends, nara went back to school and was doing good overall, abba remained a cop but didnt do any bad things, the whole group was all just good friends having a fun time. god i would licherally sell my body and soul for them all to be happy like that and all live. 

the concept of abandonment also messed me up, just the feeling that everyone say fugo as someone who abandoned the group in their hour of need out of selfishness made me wanna cry angry sad depression tears. hes a good man! let him be ok and happy i will fight all fugo haters no cap

every time i think back to the fugio restaurant scene i just. idk man it hurts me. the pessimistic bitch in me says that it would be unrequited and fugo would only be more sad because even through his efforts, he’s just another pawn working for giorno. on the other hand, it makes me soft n giddy because?? omyfucking god giorno asks fugo to call him giogio when NOBODY ELSE IN THE BOOK had referred to him as that. the fuckin “if grief anchors your feet, let me share it” part makes me wanna jusyt. complete my kin transformation into fugo and be a sobbin g  shaking mess in his arms as he tells me its all gonna be ok. was that a vent? absolutely. anyways, its pretty damn special for the don of the mafia to invite you to breakfast at a fancy restaurant before the place opens and its just the two of you. giorno fixes fugo’s injuries and tells him that he’s proud of his growth, and that he knew fugo could do it. dude?????? if i didnt already know i was a lonely affection/affirmation/attention starved bitch that wouldve done it for me.

holy fuck that was longer than i expected it to be. i do feel better tho

[sparrowwritesforobeyme]

NSFW Alphabet x Diavolos Dad

@fellulahh started a movement, which I fondly call “the devil daddy stan-squad”

It is very inspiring!

So to support this great developement...have some NSFW-Alphabet promts for Dias father.

(Since he is not an actual character in the game (yet!) none of this is remotely canon!I wish....hahah)

A-ftercare

This mass of a man is not used to real affection. He never took a real interest in anybody, neither did he have the time for that.

It actually takes him a while to open up, but even after he feels more comfortable with the relationship, his way of showing affection is more subtle.

For instance he will pull you into him in order to “straighten up the sheets” on your side of the bed. You can be sure that he will just not let you go again.

B-ody

Like his son, this man is huge.

The Demon King takes pride in his impressive height. He loves the way he tower over his lover wherever they go, but also in bed.

You could say that he has a decent size kink!

The thing he lovey about his lover would be their hips and butt.

I headcanon that he is a booty fan! Small booty, big booty, he approves!

You can be sure that his hands constantly leave prints on your deicate flesh from how hard he grabs you.

C-Cheesy

If you thinks that this man is all grim and moody...you are on the right path. He had an image to uphold!

But seriously...I believe that he has the ability to be Cheesy, at least with his lover.

Diavolo probably inherited it from his dad!

But his goofy side will not show during the act itself. Sometimes he´ll tease you during foreplay, but this man prefers passion over goofyness in bed.

D-irty Secret

Is this man the ruler of a whole realm? YES!

Does he enjoy to have his lover ride him once in a while? Hell Yes!

Please give this man the right to watch his lover be on top of him once in a while!

E-xperience

The demon lord is almost as old as time itself, to be fair, he spent a big amount of it in a slumber...but he gained experience.

Demons are just not able to resist temptations!

The Demon King puts his experience to use with his lover, he has a lot of great ways to make you loose control in the sheets (and probably every other surface of the palast)

F-avourite Position

finding positions during sex is quite difficult for the two of you.

while his height has many advantages....sex isn´t one of them

you actually tried quite a few ones, but many tries ended not as expected

Positions like 69 will simply not work out for the two of you

He actually went to the human work in secret and got a book for sex positions to find something that suits the two of you. He´´ll never admit it openly and you can´t deny that it did something to you when you caught him being engrossed in a book about “human mating” (it probably was a porno magazine..this man has no clue of human media), while sitting at his table, looking all serious.

If he feels more emotional, he´d want to spoon you during sex or sprawl you out on the bed in front of him. Looking at you during the deed is the epitum of intimacy to him!

after a while you found many position that work out for you.

His favourite ones include bending you over a piece of furniture or having you ride him.

G-oofy

The only time he´ll break his serious stance in the bedroom is during foreplay

He´ll tease you A LOT

“Hmmm...so wet for me already...quite desperate my love”

“cat got your tongue? How unfortunate...I came up with one or two ideas  how you could use it!”

H-air

The demons King strikes me as a rough type of handsome, but that does not mean that he just let´s everything grow wildly!

He always makes sure to groom his royal area to perfection.

Also he read about humans facination of the happy-trail...he makes sure to adapt

I-ntimacy

being intimate with the devil in person is quite a challenge sometimes.

He is very busy, but when he finds you, he´ll make sure to make up for it in any way you can imagine

Sex with the Demon King (he needs a name srsly) can be either extremely passionate or extremely intimate, this man does not make compromises!

One thing is clear...you are his Queen/Partner and he will make sure that you are satisfied, even if it means that he has to man up and share his deepest desires with you

J-ealos Sex? 

you´re in an entanglement with a King...he knows that there is no one better than him, at first sight at least.

He might have a hard time to admit it to himself, but sometimes he wonders whether he is really capable of making you fully content, since he has so little knowdledge of the human world and it´s culture.

This adorable mass of a man spents his free time listening to you or reading human-literature in order to fully grasp what humanity is about.

So if you actually went to the human world and there was a person that connected with you or talked about some human thing he is not able to understand just yet...he will get jealous.

How cam a peasant believe they can just walk up to the queen of devildome and pretent to be better than the King himself!

He absolutely will show you that he understands you and your body better than anybody else, when you get home,( or in a secluded area nearby)

K-ink

like already mentioned he loves the size difference. It does not matter whether you are tall or short, in comparision you are tiny, also you should not forget that he can influence his human form and he may or may not make sure that he hovers over you at all times.

Demons have their own way of showing affection to their chosen one, one these ways is marking their partner

The Demon King would proudly show off his partner plus lovebites he left on them.

If his partner is a female the next stage for him would be breeding. I can see him getting exited by the thought of seeing his woman swelling with his son growing inside of her, showing the world that she is his.

L-ocation

What use does a palace have if you can´t use it?

He´ll want to sleep with his partner in any place they can imagine, but his favourite places, would be either his throne (serious powerplay...just imagine you riding him, while he sits on his massive throne) or your shared bed (because he knows that you´re most comfortable this way)

M-otivation

Many things get the King going, but his absolutely biggest trigger is you being the Partner/Queen you are.

Seeing you tending to Devildomes Subjects with love and care will make him want to sweep you off of your feet and carry you to your shared bedroom.

Another thing that gets him going is praise. When you call him “my King”, “Your majesty” or simply “love”....you are in for a ride

N-O

What he absolutely would not do is having a threesome with anybody, especially not Diavolo!

Another thing he´d not even want to try is BDSM on him or you. He can get a bit rough with you, but he is scared to hurt you too much if you tried implementing pain in your sex life.

His sadism is dangerous sometimes.

O-ral

He just adores the sounds you make when he goes down on you ang god---- he is skilled!

He likes receiving just as much as giving.

Watching you go down on him, clearly having a hard time taking all his glory in, will make him painfully hard in your mouth.

P-ace

His pace depends on his mood and the situation that lead to sex.

If the two of you jokes around and indulged in a more playful kind of sex, he would be on the faster side, relishing in the lovely souns he can get out of you

If the two of you have a more passionate session, he would take his time and force every little bit of pleasure out of you.

Q-uicky

Due to the time issue Quickies are normal for the two of you, though he prefers to make you scream all night.

Usually Quickies re some sort of teaser to prepare you for whats going to happen this night.

Saying that it happened once or twice that a Quick Round activated his hunger, poor Diavolo( and Lucifer) had to take care of all the work, because the King himself had a meeting to attent

Of course they know his true intention and tbh it´s still hard for them to accept that their friend is now the partner of the Demon King himself, especially since they both showed an interest in you as well

R-efraction Period

a matter of minutes..demons have just more stamina than humans do.

But he will make sure to stop, when you can´t take it anymore!

S-ecret

He was aware of you way before he officially “awaked”

after a while he fell for you, only after that he decided to make a move and claim you as his

The Demon King was aware of his sons plans and watched it all unfold (not being happy at all) but you piqued his interest.

“A weak human making pacts with some of the strongest demons of Devildome?”

T-oys

The Demon is old-fashioned, he prefers to be the the thing giving his lover pleasure, not some damn piece of plastic

Also he is not advanced in technical knowledge, it was quite a shock to him to wake up to a modern devildome

U-nfair

BIG TEASE

it goes hand in hand with his powerplay-kink

the King just loves to see you loose your mind, almost begging for him. It does wonders for his ego!

V-olume

Entirely depends on the situation you guys are in

W-ild Card

Usually he just grunts or groans, but if you have a particularly passionate session, he´ll press orders to his theeth

“Shi- look at me! Don´t look away!”

“Tease me one more time and I´ll make sure you won´t walk for the rest of the week, lttle one”

He enjoys having you nearby at all times, even during work. Usually when he works you lay on a couch in his study and do shoolwork or read, etc

He´ll get moody if you can´t be there due to you having a life outside of the palace and friends.

He wouldn´t say it out loud, but he is slightly jealous that the demon brothers get to spent so much time with HIS Partner

X-Ray

Oh Boy...not saying numbers, but it takes some time to prepare you. This man does not only have big hands...

Y-earning

The Demon King can be needy behind closed doors

From the outside he appears cold....angry at best, but when you´re alone he yearns for his lovers affection.

He´s touch deprived, even if he´s had some...company in the past, it was never on a real intimate level.

This is completely new terrain for him, so he needs to learn how stop the intense craving for you

Z-zzz 

He slept centuries...he needs no sleep

The King knows that you need your sleep and he makes sure you get enough, but as soon as you fall asleep after a rather long session of love-making, he impatiently waits for you to wake up, slowly falling asleep after pulling you close to him.

[unsaidnessa]

auditions

pairings: luke x julie (platonic)

word count: 1.2k

warnings: fluff

a/n: yes this is just based off of the fact that i have auditions and kin julie. i have no shame whatsoever. stan platonic juke for clear skin

- 

“god, i’m nervous luke. how have i performed in front of thousands of people but can’t fathom playing piano for three of them?”

luke put an arm around julie. “look at me.” she met his gaze and smiled, knowing a cheesy yet effective pep talk was in the wings. “you are the most talented person i have ever met. if anyone’s gonna get an acceptance, it’s you.”

“you have to say that,” julie rolled her eyes playfully “you’re my best friend.”

“and as your best friend, i am obligated to tell the truth. you are amazing and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you in their stupid program.” 

a grin peeked through julie’s nervous stare. he always knew what to say and how to say it. despite swearing up and down that he was bad at words, luke always managed to make her feel better. 

they sat there in silence for a bit. pro’s of having a ghost best friend? you can always have someone to comfort you, even when no ones allowed in the room. cons of having a ghost best friend? sometimes people perceive you as crazy. julie would do the same if she saw a random person having a whole conversation with air. but she knew that this bit of air would always have her back, even in the craziest of moments. despite the struggle to talk to him in public, it was all worth it. 

julie’s thoughts were interrupted by an older face peeking out the door. 

“julie molina?” she called out. julie froze for a second. luke noticed her heartbeat increase, and looked down at her. 

“you got this, julie. show them how amazing my best friend is.” 

julie took a deep breath and got up. “thats me!’ she exclaimed. 

“we’re ready for you. come on in.” the lady opened the door for julie, and she gave one last glance at luke before the doors closed. 

she was greeted by shiny tile floors, vanilla colored walls, and a sort of woodsy scent. the room felt too professional for her to even occupy. yet here she was, walking over to the piano and setting down her sheet music. the room was so silent, she could hear her boots clanking on the floor. everyone’s eyes were glued to her, and this time she could see them. back in the orpheum, everyone looked small. now, she felt like the small one. 

“hi julie! its nice to meet you.” a man spoke up. he looked in his late 30’s, crow’s feet beginning to show around his eyes. she couldn’t tell if his smile was fake or genuine, which scared her even more. 

“hi! nice to meet you too. do i just get right to it?” 

“yup!” the woman from before said. “whenever you’re ready julie.” 

julie took a deep breath. she had been preparing for this for a year. wake up was a song, quite literally, made for her. her mom had left it there for a reason. it was the song that got her back into singing for a reason. 

placing her fingers on the keys, she took one last breath before starting to play. luke was right. if they didn’t want her in their school, that was their loss. she continued to play, the lyrics flowing out of her mouth as they were always meant to be there. she could feel her mom with her in this moment, knowing that either way, she was proud. 

halfway through her cut, she heard a rush of air behind her. julie tried to shake it off, thinking it was maybe just the air conditioning in the building. she was focused, but felt like someone was watching her. as she played the last few chords, she heard someone erupt into applause. julie looked at the panel of people in front of her, yet none of them were clapping. smiling, yes. they looked eager to ask her more questions. but, who was clapping-

realization hit her and she turned around to see luke, grinning like a child. julie jumped slightly, then remembered there were other people in the room. she gave him a stare that could kill, and turned back around. 

“thank you.” she forced a smile. 

“amazing job julie. we could really see the passion you put into that song.” a younger man spoke up. he was the third and final person seated at the table. 

“would you be interested in being placed in any other programs, if needed?” the older lady asked, jotting some notes down on her notebook. 

julie nodded. “yes, of course. i always want to keep my options open.” 

“awesome. well, thank you julie, and we’ll keep in touch.” the older man said. “have a nice day.”

“you too.” julie started to walk out the door, immediately followed by luke. the second the door shut, she checked if the room was empty. luke looked at her, love in his eyes. 

“dude. i told you NOT to come into the room! i almost messed up.” julie exclaimed, sitting down in frustration. luke sat down next to her. 

“i’m sorry! i just really wanted to watch and support you. you’re so amazing and i knew you were gonna kill it.” a smile crept onto julies face. there he was again, saying all the right things to make her smile. 

“god, you’re lucky i love you.” she laid her head on his shoulder. “if you were anyone else, i would’ve beat your ass.”

luke laughed. “you think you could beat me in a fight?” 

“oh i absolutely could. i don’t care if i’m shorter than you. there’s a lot of pent up anger in this body.”

“well, one day i’ll have to test that theory, huh shortie?” julie gave him another death stare, but erupted into laughter shortly after.

“get up dumbass. i’m hungry, and i heard there's a really good pizza place by here. and who else would i want to try it with than luke patterson, king of carnival food?” 

“HEY. too soon.” luke pouted. 

“it was almost 30 years stupid. we joke about it all the time. you’ll live-” julie stifled a laugh. “well-” 

“JULIEEE.” he whined, pushing her playfully. “you just keeping yourself deeper and deeper. wait-”

they both bursted into laughter, having to stop their walk to fully collect themselves. “that just kept getting worse and worse, didn’t it?” julie asked in between laughs. 

“yup.” luke replied, slowly starting to gather himself. “you’re lucky i love you.” 

“i love you more.” julie replied, knowing luke hated when she claimed that. 

“hey, we’ve been over this. you’re shorter, so theres’s no way you can love me more.”

“that is NOT how it works!” julie rolled her eyes. 

“well, to me it does. it makes sense.” 

“whatever you say. i still love you more.” 

they had reached the pizza place, the neon sign shining brightly despite the sunlight. it was a small place, yet the servings were enough to fill up three people. or one luke. he ate a lot for someone who was perfectly in shape. julie would never understand how that worked, but the boys said luke was like that when he was alive too. some things stay with you even past death. 

“alright, enough staring. i’m hungry.” luke said, pushing the door open. julie followed, laughing to herself. despite the shit that luke pulled, he was her best friend. someone she loved more than life itself. and she was so grateful to have him during this audition process. she couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime.

[shireviews]

“walk on water” (w.o.w)

by jaxx, jang mokdan

“To earn money, Ed decided to enter the pornographic video company. Secretly, he begins to work under the alias “Tommy”. One day, it was decided that he will be filmed as a “bottom” instead of a “top”, and he’s going to do it with Glen McQueen as his partner?”

status: completed

warnings⚠️: dubcon, noncon, pseudo-incest (??)

the main character lives in queens ‼️QGTM‼️ what can i say

tldr

✨the plot✨

ed talbot is a broke bodyguard weighed down by his dead grandfather's debts and lacks in both job satisfaction and salary but not penis size. in a last desperate attempt to earn money, he decides to reignite his old passion for acting, but in GAY PORN! 

his application to glenn mcqueen entertainment goes through and his pornstar career begins to blow up thats what she said as he begins to take on more and more roles, eventually bottomming for the man, the myth, the legend himself, glenn mcqueen as “lovers”. despite claiming to be a raging hetero, ed begins to like mcqueen, feeling conflicted about filming porn with other men and disappointed that mcqueen doesnt care when he does. 

the man that ed owes money to, chang liu who is also hot also starts getting up his ass about doing porn to pay off his debt bc he has some superiority complex and secretly pines for ed but like also wants him to remain in debt so that hes still in his control yeah and also did i mention they’re step brothers but not really alternative love or hate say what

ed x mcqueen goes great until ed discovers an old porn costar of mcqueens and his traumatic experience with him. he questions just how far mcqueen would go to sell his porn, maybe even fall in love

everything works out in the end and they smash and it ends there

im bad at explaining this thiqq ass plot so just read it

✨the character development✨

ed talbot (alias: park yeowoon, tommy ross)

this 

his development goes very hand in hand with mcqueens 

but also bad bitch energy standing up to chang liu we stan

creed mcqueen (alias: glenn mcqueen)

hes hot AND hes not an abusive top?? chefs kiss

his backstory is pretty tragic; is a catholic kid, gets sexually abused by a priest and ends up in porn

buuuttt 

in the end he falls in love and quits porn GOOD ON HIM

✨the porn✨

censoring system: NO CENSOR/light sabers

first smut scene: chapter 3

favorite smut scene: epilogue 2 

least favorite smut scene: chapter 53 + 54

i will now proceed to summarize my analysis of every single smut scene in this yaoi

🔞 = major smut scenes

chapter 3:

GOD HELP ME THERES NO CENSOR 

ed tommy jerks off

vouyerism ??

chapter 4 +5:

tommy pegs a guy named KYLE 

vouyerism !

chapter 10:

implied smut lol

his name is LUKE

chapter 13 + 14:

tommy masturbates with his asshole for the first time and mcqueen walks in AGAAGAGAGAGAGAG

bottoming prep

🔞chapter 16 +17 +18 +19:

the top is absent so mcqueen Is topping WE LOVE PLOT CONVENIENCE 

TOMMY X MCQUEEN PERIODT

vouyeriSM

chapter 23:

lol ed jerks off to his own porn 

🔞chapter 24:

new top thats not mcqueen

what kind of name is LANCER

HES A FUCKIN RAPIST GOD

PROTECTIVE MCQUEEN WE LOVE

🔞chapter 27 + 28:

LIGHT SABERS FUCKIN FINALLY

shower prep

sex outside of porn we love to see it

multiple positions periodt

lowkey foot fetish (?)

🔞chapter 32:

SEX WHEN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER HITS DIFFEREEEENT

he calls him yeowoon uwu

chapter 33:

flashes of them smashing lmao

chapter 34:

bath fingering

chapter 35:

mcqueen administering a blowjob

standard smashing in porn 

🔞chapter 42:

poSSESIVE MCQUEEN EEEK

against a WINDOW

they call each other creed and yeowoon

chapter 46:

orgasm denial LMFAO

ed kinda accepts hes not a raging hetero (???)

chapter 48:

is this a hotel?

they on the floor next to a FIREPLACE

foot fetish is back

🔞chapter 53 + 54:

CHANG LIU YOU FUCKTARD

rape (??)

chang is hot tho

lololol he pines for ed

🔞epilouge 2:

ACCUMULATED SMUT

IN FRONT OF A MIRROR

PENIS LICKING 

OVERSTIM

AFTERCARE + MORNING AFTER IS IMMACULATE 

fin.

✨the v✨

this manhwa is the sole reason why my reviews have a designated line in the porn section for the censoring system because up until i read this, i only ever saw light sabers and i was not prepared for their uncensored ping pong ding dong 13 inch schlongs from hong kong shipping gone very wrong-

walk on water art style is probably in my top 3 however the absolute audacity for this manhwa to be set in nyc chinatown when we know abso fucking lutely no real-life men in manhattan nor queens look like the men in walk on water is ludicrous

i dont remember the song i was listening to while reading but i was listening to still with you by jungcock while writing this review so uh yea

🦋 make your puthy throb percentage: 95%

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 2x8 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

This goes out to Kyla Matthews for her birthday today. She’s brilliant as Ruby and I hope to see her in something new soon (unless AWAE finally gets renewed, of course #renewanneewithane).

“I plan to have several beaus and be proposed to several times.” Oh sweet Ruby, always such romantic aspirations. I love her. 

Anne is really good at proposals. I hope she gets to propose one day. I know that’s not how it happened in the books, but this is a different take on them, so why not in this continuity? Somebody please write me a fic. 

Phillips, on the other hand, is not as eloquent. But he gets the blessing. Too bad (not!) there won’t be a wedding after all. 

I like how Anne’s hair is growing back. I plan on drawing her in every stage of her hair growth, so I’ll probably do this one right after I’m finished with this review. 

The girls are so fascinated by the idea of a wedding. I just hope all of them truly appreciate what an empowering move it will be of Prissy to choose herself over societal expectations at the end of the day. 

Will Billy’s cruelty ever stop? And will internalised homophobia stop tormenting Phillips into bullying his students? I unfortunately think the answer to both of these questions is no. 

“Sometimes I find bigotry very inconvenient.” I love how well Bash is taking this. But the part about the bog... I don’t want to think about it. And the bigotry doesn’t stop here. Billy, of course, who else. 

I’m glad Rachel is trying to apologise, but she seems to lack the vocabulary to do it well. And the bigotry won’t end with one apology, unfortunately. #blacklivesmatter

“I hope whoever we get next will actually be interested in teaching.” You go, Gilbert! I’m glad someone is finally addressing Phillips’ incompetence when it comes to educating young people. They’ll be a lot better off with Miss Stacy. 

“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert is a passionate individual, alright.” Yes, she is, and of course, Gilbert’s always known it for as long as he’s known her. Also, I love how he and Anne are, in a way, sharing a snack in this pair of parallel scenes. 

Sweet Ruby! “I’ve already monogrammed several kerchiefs with the initials G.B.” Too bad you’ll have to change it. 

“ A beautiful wife to her husband.” What does Josie know about that? There are more important things than beauty and I’m glad Anne is well aware of that. Books are a great thing to “enter your new life” with. 

I bet this is the moment that made Prissy think twice about getting married. Being denied her human right to pursue higher education is a good enough reason for any young woman to run away at the altar. 

Breaking the window with Cole’s clay - how unfortunately clever of Billy. I bet Phillips will lay the blame on his usual target now, even though Cole had nothing (but the piece of clay) to do with that. And look how Phillips picks up the clay like it’s a piece of... a different substance that my blog type doesn’t quite allow me to say out loud, or type here. I guess you cna figure it out for yourselves. You know what I mean.

No, Phillips can’t be seriously doing that. I can’t even watch. But I do love the dignity with which Cole stands up to his so-called “teacher”. “If you want to hate someone, you should look in the mirror.” And then he just walks out. We stan a legend.

You know, eye health is important, and it seems to be one of the more underrated messages of AWAE. Plus there’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading glasses, regardless of age. Both my parents have reading glasses, though they’re “too young”, as some might say. Taking care of your health has nothing to do with age. I hope Marilla realises that.

I’m beyond pleased to see there is no trace of bigotry in the doctor’s treatment of Bash. There are some decent people at least. 

A good doctor Gilbert will be, for sure. If he passes out at the sight of a shot (not that I don’t but I’m not aspiring to become someone who might give them on a regular basis), how is he going to handle the profession he aspires to? Remains to be seen. 

“Why do you think Mr. Phillips hates you so?” Good question, Anne, and I know the answer well. He just can’t accept himself, so he’s bullying anyone who reminds him of what he is. And right now, that’s Cole. Internalised homophobia is horrible. I almost feel bad for Phillips himself. 

There, Cole came out to Anne. And she has the best reaction ever, even though neither of the two possess the vocabulary to describe what Cole just said he is. Gay. Used to mean “happy, bright, colourful”. Such a beautiful word. And some really important topics are being discussed there. Seriously, this show had a bright future that was cut short. #saveannewithane

There, Anne proposes that they have a friendly marriage if they don’t find their “romantical kindred spirits”, as she so beautifully puts it. This might have been so beautiful. Too bad it won’t be after all, but I’m sure that, in Charlottetown, at least, where people seem to be more open-minded (or is that just Aunt Jo and her friends? Even so, they’re enough.), he will one day find a lovely young man and the two of them will never feel unlawful together. I love thinking about that. 

“A beautiful place where black people dance beautifully in the snow” Poor, poor Bash. What he’s about to see will unfortunately be far from pretty. How many times will I say “unfortunately” within this review? There’re too many of them already. But what can I say? Sometimes things get a little bit... unfortunate. Unfortunately. 

The guy from the train is kind of like Phillips in a way - he despises Bash for dealing with similar problems better than himself. I feel bad for him.

Prissy’s mother seems to be a good woman. “Educated wives who think for themselves.” Sounds good. And also, Prissy, yes, you are a child. And no, you don’t know what you want. Not yet at least.

Hey, there’s Mary. I guess Bash had to go to the bog after all. Otherwise he wouldn’t have met her. All clouds have a silver lining, I guess. Even this one. 

“Pretty-ish piece of property”. Nice alliteration. Bad notion. I’m glad Anne wants to be “equals and partners”, and “life mates”. Also, didn’t Topanga once use that last one in an episode of Boy Meets World? Wait, I’ve got it noted somewhere... yes, as early as episode 1x9. She used it to describe a spouse. I guess it’s sort of universal now. Life mates. I like it. 

“I don’t shy away from the truth of how I feel like some fellas I know”. I see Bash’s position as captain of the Shirbert ship and his love for teasing Gilbert about it haven’t changed one bit. 

Marilla “bequeathing” the brooch to Anne was a lovely mother-daughter moment, and an underrated one at that, given their history with that brooch.

Maybe it wasn’t Phillips’ words about Prissy not going to college; maybe it wasn’t her mother’s words; maybe it wasn’t even Anne’s innocently insensitive words that made her reconsider getting married. Maybe it was a compound of all those things. But whatever it was, I’m glad it happened. Still, even under the circumstances, as someone who has never seen a wedding from the bride’s side of the family (one of my male cousins got married a couple of years ago, so I’ve seen the groom’s side), I can’t but feel the thrill of the wedding preparations. Even under the circumstances.

The way Gilbert’s looking at Anne, one’d think he wants it to be him and her up at the altar. And it will be - someday in their bright future. But their wedding will be nothing like this one. 

As I said, this is a supreme moment of female empowerment. Prissy as a runaway bride, I mean. And I’m happy the girls got to share it with her. And that they could laugh about it despite all that the people will surely say soon enough about the whole affair. A beautiful ending to the beautiful essay about weddings and marriage that was this episode. 

Let’s sum up: Ruby wants multiple proposals; an elegant pretend-proposal coming from Anne and a not so elegant one from Phillips; Billy is a douche to Cole and Phillips acts as an outright monster; Cole faces bullying with dignity; Bash faces bigotry with no less dignity, wants to see the bog, meets Mary; eye health is important; the good doctor faints at the sight of a needle; Cole comes out to Anne; a friendly proposal; Marilla bequeaths the infamous brooch to Anne; Prissy is a runaway bride in a supreme moment of female empowerment.

[bi-lullaby]

Hi! I'd love to hear your thoughts on Merluca after last night's episode. In some ways I still think this is and can be a really happy, healthy relationship. In others, though, I kind of think Andrew has a point about them not seeming like true partners and equals, and I honestly haven't felt much chemistry or a very powerful connection between them for a while now. What do you expect to happen next and what do you WANT to happen next?!

Oh, what a loaded question! I love it, thanks baby! Sorry if this gets unreasonably long, grab a snack and lay back!

(Time for the usual disclaimer that I’m a completely partial person when it comes to my faves, Mer in this case, so I’m a biased point of view)

I think Merluca has been sidelined the last few eps, so having them suddenly be in focus again only for them to break up might stirr up some emotions and doubts. Their few scenes have been quite sweet, so I’m hoping it’s just temporary. I’m with you about the chemestry/connection thing but again, we’ve seen too little of them Idk if that’s just a impression or actually happening.

To be quite honest, I was confused at Deluca’s talk. Mer does respect him. She worries about his career! She was basically shaking her lawyer and yelling that it was all her, not Andrew Deluca. She has formally introduced him to her family and has him around her kids as such! She has never diminished his job or accomplishments. Is it because they disagreed over her behavior? Because if he thinks that’s a lack of respect for him, then I cannot agree with it. Was it because she said they wouldn’t last if he could cut but she couldn’t? I’ve seen quite a few people jump at her for it, and it makes sense that it’d be hurtful to hear that, but I don’t think it was 100% wrong. Surgery is her passion, has always been a fundamental part of who she is, and having to watch as her boyfriend did it and she couldn’t would indeed be painful and maddening and leave her resenting him, and it’s more mature to admit it than to let it happen. Or did he think “she’d never have said that to Derek?” Because that’s understandable if it’s what he thought (although, not true imo, Mer would absolutely break up with Derek if she couldn’t do surgery). Was it because she said Derek was the love of her life? Because it must have stung a lot, I mean, ouch. But, I don’t know if it’s because my family has quite a few widows, but I see her reaction as perfectly normal. It’s not like they broke up and she was talking about an ex. He was her husband, the father of her children, who died out of the blue and violently. Her love is always gonna be there. He’s not obligated to accept that or continue with her if that’s uncomfortable, so I absolutely understand his side, but to say that was a bad thing om her part (spacially at that intense moment) or to say it’s a lack of respect for him is a bit low. Maybe my issue is the phrasing/framing of it all by the writers. Like, they had Andrew say he was in awe of Mer for what she did, but a few eps later had him tel her she should work within the system. They’re trying to tell us something new instead of adressing issues already there (Mer has been a bit passive with receiving all the love Andrew gives). Plus: Communication! Andrew didn’t tell her how it felt when she published the article and everyone was crapping on him, she didn’t talk to him about the whole “we’re on different phases of our lives” fear, it’s been snowballing!

I have a few theories about their future, based on the promo: They’ll spend a few eps with sparks flying between them, jabbing mercilessly at each other while everyone else is crushed under the sexual tension, till they cave and have sex in the on-call room, then have a conversation with Mer putting her heart on her sleeve; or He’ll be the one who’s injured/hurt in the fall finale and she’ll realize he’s it for her and give him a speech about love and what not (or maybe he won’t be the one injured but it’ll be one half of a couple that reminds mer of them and then she’ll be like “oh life is too short let me go get my amn back before something happens”); or They’ll spend a few eps apart until Mer sees him do something amazing (some kickass surgery or maybe something for her kids) and realizes he is the one but then Andrew is like “no it’s too late” and they spend even more time apart (maybe a new relationship for him) before coming together again. I don’t think their breakup is final. Grey’s spent too long carefully building up the relationship (that has lots of fans, even if bitter stans of the deceased are a vocal group) to break it after only a season and half. If theg do, I’ll be pretty pissed. It’ll feel like a letdown.

Mer has always been chased (not that I blame the chasers coz damn, look at her) so they might tweak it a little and have her put in more effort to get her man back! I hope so, at least. Also maybe develop Andrew a tad more, show more of him kicking ass at surgery or of him and Carina!