#This literally came to me in a dream

[demetera-kaziaik]

Just Married ❤️

[saxlochapologist]

Saxon begging Lochlan to post more on his socials because "girls really care about that kind of shit Lochy, how is anyone going to know you're single and legal now if you don't ever post anything?" but the truth is just....Sax misses Lochlan. misses keeping tabs on his life and seeing what he's doing and who he's doing it with and even what he's wearing. and of course it's just bc he's such a good big brother and Lochy is so lucky to have him. It has nothing to do with the fact that Sax feels warmth curling around his chest whenever he gets a notification that Lochlan's posted. Or the way he physically aches when he thinks about how long it's been since he's seen his brother's soft, beautiful face. or how he can look at Lochlan and see so many bits and pieces of himself that he's stuffed so far down inside he wasn't sure if they were still there until he sees them in his little brother. and it's completely normal to see your brother that way, Sax is sure of it. when he resists the urge to palm himself through his shorts it's just bc Lochy reminds him of himself, and who wouldn't be turned on looking at Saxon? yes it's completely normal and understandable. and Lochy really should post more. not for Sax tho, for the girls. yep. always for the girls

[digitalsymbiote]

"We had so many questions inside of us, about the world, about ourselves, about the void within us that neither of us could ever fill. And while you can return one iota of consciousness to this shattered mind, you can not answer these things. Instead, you ask me about the soldier who wore this armor, and I tell you this: she was already dead."

- archived recording from the posthumous questioning of IMP "GR3T", recovered from the remains of the mechanized platform "Trail of Crumbs", manned by pilot HK5128, callsign "Hansel"

[k3nnjamin]

Yeah, Jason Todd is the terrifying, gun slinging, crime-lord-for-fun Red Hood. Be he will always be a nerd and a loser first and foremost. And at any possible moment he has a quote from some classic novel or, like, the bible or something (he read it looking for some answers but all he got out of it were some badass verses he quotes at Bruce when he pisses him off (which is often)).

So when, in the middle of a villain takedown that Red Hood begrudgingly agreed to help the Bats with, he yells a line at a group of goons and ... one of them quotes a line right back at him.

Jason stops dead in his tracks.

"really? The Great fucking Gatsby?" the first goon asks. "Didn't take the Red Hood for a damn book nerd."

A second goon pipes up, a desperate attempt to save their collective asses a couple more seconds, "It was super scary when you said it, Mr. Hood!"

The first one is still going, he launches into a tirade about the themes of the novels and how, yeah whatever quote Red Hood used was clever considering their circumstances, but jesus christ dude have you heard of context? You sound like a fucking idio–

Jason tackles the guy screaming. The warehouse goes mostly quiet as villains and bats alike stop to watch the two duke it out, screaming like madmen about literature.

[rgrfederer]

haiii here’s an edit. the perfect pair is indeed rafole

[akekiitaz]

Durge: good boy.

Gortash: what did you say??

Durge: good.. boy?

Gortash *tearing up*: no one's ever called me a good boy ....

[thepurpleclownz]

Opening up V1’s chest plate just to find a hamster running in a hamper wheel with cheese tied to a string in front of it

[captain-303]

Maybe the real Silent Hill were the Marys we murdered along the way

[yoshkerz]

ii 17 except instead of knife and suitcase being angsty and trashing on each other infront of cobs it’s infront of four and they’re arguing firey and coiny bfdi style

[furiosophie]

listen the tought of ghost being the resident cryptid of task force 141 is very funny to me personally

[echo-goes-mmm]

Anniversary Present (Oneshot)

My Writing Masterpost

Warnings: slight dubcon, manipulation, minor character death, blood, past stalking

“I’m hungry,” complained Victor. 

Henry glanced at the vampire, then into his side mirror. “I’m driving.”

“So pull over.”

“I can’t,” he protested. “There’s no place to park.” They had circled the lot once already, but there were no spots. If Victor hadn’t insisted on spending the weekend at the beach of all places, this wouldn’t have happened.

“It’s a Friday evening on a holiday,” he explained. “It’ll be a while.” Victor grumbled, but at least he seemed placated. 

It had been three years since Victor ‘claimed’ him like some sort of stalker, and Henry hadn’t been able to shake him. Now he was stuck with Victor, and sometimes he could fool himself into normalcy. Like some kind of fucked-up sitcom. See the vampire and his unwilling roommate, every evening at 7pm on FOX! Or something. Henry didn’t watch cable.

“Look,” said Victor, “there’s a spot.”

“Finally,” groaned Henry. Another car came down the aisle, and he put on the turn signal and waited for them to pass so he could pull in. But instead, the BMW swerved into the spot, nearly dinging him in the process. Asshole.

Victor hissed. 

“Don’t,” Henry said. “It’s literally okay.” 

Victor sighed. “Fine.” 

Eventually, they found a spot in another lot, but there was a fee. Henry grumbled as Victor drank an evening snack from him. What a jerk, and of course it was a BMW. Brand new, too. Henry thought of his 20 year old beater and tried not to be jealous.

Whatever.

Victor had made reservations to a nice restaurant on the boardwalk for the two of them, which was hilarious. Victor could eat human food, it just did nothing for him except taste good. He was always dragging Henry to fancy places.

The perks of having a rich vampire eat off him, he supposed.

Victor disappeared after paying for dinner, with a promise to meet him at the rental later. Typical. 

But Henry had a little cash to burn, and the boardwalk was fun. He ate frozen custard (peanut butter and chocolate) and looked at ridiculously priced swimsuits on sale. He watched people come in and out of novelty stores, and got himself a box of saltwater taffy. It was nice, he thought, as a charming family went into the amusement park.

Of course, the downside to this little vacation was Victor. He was going to do something this weekend, he could feel it. 

Henry was a snack, a little amusement that Victor liked to keep under his thumb.

Henry hated when Victor dragged home a meal.

He shuddered, the warm night air suddenly suffocating. He took another bite of his frozen custard and told himself not to think about it.

He got to the rental house hours later (after somehow mixing up where he’d parked) and Victor was there as promised. 

“So,” said Victor, “there’s this cute little diner in town. We should go there for breakfast.” 

“Yeah, sure.”

Victor frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I guess. Just tired.” 

“Oh. Well, the bedroom on the right is yours. Goodnight.” Suspicious.

“‘Night.” The drive was pretty draining, so Henry fell asleep quickly.

___________________

Victor dragged him to the diner around nine. He looked a little funny dressed in pants and a hoodie in this weather, but it was sunny out and, well, vampire.

Henry woke up in a much better mood than yesterday. He ordered a short stack of blueberry pancakes with a side of sausage and it was divine.

Victor bid him a good day after breakfast and went to sleep. Henry took the opportunity to spend the rest of the day at the beach. It was a great weather out, and he swam in the ocean a couple times before making it back to the rental. He even splurged and got some barbeque from a place on the boardwalk for lunch.

But soon the sun would be down, and Victor would be hungry. He headed back to the rental house.

After the feeding, he was more worn out than usual. He hadn’t been on a vacation in a while, and he’d forgotten how tiring it was to relax. He went to sleep soon after.

___________________

“Henry. Hey, Henry!” Victor whispered. He groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“What?” Victor’s red eyes glowed down at him. Victor flashed him a toothy grin. He glanced at the clock. Midnight. And why could he smell pizza?

“I got you a present.” 

“Huh?” 

“Just come see!” Henry stumbled into the living room and flipped the switch.

“Oh my god!”

A guy was tied up and gagged in the middle of the floor. Pizza boxes sat on the table, with a bunch of booze and soda. The man made a frantic sound from behind the gag.

“What the fuck?” he said. Victor flopped on the couch. He titled his head and grinned.

“It’s the man who cut you off earlier. And I also got dinner and that novelty soda you like. The one that tastes like sour candy.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

Fuck. Again? Victor had never been caught before, but this was insane. 

Why was his life like this? Ugh. Whatever.

He crossed the room and took a slice of pizza. It was amazingly good, actually. It really was true that the best New York style pizza was in New Jersey. He ignored Mr. BMW struggling against the ropes.

He twisted off the cap to the soda and some vodka. He was gonna need it. Henry turned back to the scene to see Victor teasing Mr. BMW. Muffled shouts came from behind the gag.

Henry knew how scary it was, seeing a vampire for the first time. But he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. It was normal, now.

“I think he wants to say something,” grinned Victor. He plucked the gag from Mr. BMW.

“I- I’m so sorry,” he said, looking back and forth between them. “Please don’t kill me!” he sniffed. Henry shifted, uncomfortable.

“You’re not sorry,” snarled Victor, “You’re just sorry you got caught. Nobody gets to be an asshole to my human. Nobody.”

“It’s just a parking spot, Victor. Not a big deal.” Victor turned to him. He shrank back. 

“You don’t get to decide that,” he said. 

“What-”

“I’m making your life better. Remember that boss you hated? I took care of it. And now you don’t hate your job. This is for you, Henry.” He yanked the man’s hair, baring his neck. 

He sank his teeth into the man, drinking long and deep. Henry’s mind whirled. Had Victor really been killing off everyone who was mean to him? 

Victor finished, the man’s head lolling. 

“Look at him,” purred Victor, voice husky. “He’s still alive. Think he’ll chalk it up to a dream, or pass on to the next life?”

He came close, blood smeared over his mouth. He stepped right up to Henry, taking his chin in hand.

Henry whimpered.

“Don’t be scared,” cooed Victor against his lips. Victor kissed him, copper on his tongue. 

What was happening?

Victor pulled away, pupils blown. His cool hand came to rest on his ass.

“Victor-” he started, but for some reason he couldn’t, didn’t, pull away.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. A curl of heat smoldered in Henry’s gut. “Three years,” continued Victor, “and I never told you that. Isn’t that strange?”

“Ye- yeah.” Victor pressed a kiss to his throat, mouthing up to just under his jaw.

“Wait-” he said, regaining himself. Victor paused, pulling away. “All those restaurants, all those presents, were- were they-”

“Dates? Yeah,” admitted Victor. “You needed a stronger hint.”

Fuck. He’d seen the way Victor looked at him, the way he waited in the car under a blanket for hours just for Henry to get off work. He thought it was just hunger, and it was, but it was more than that. And Victor was attractive, and mostly kind-

The dying man behind them groaned.

And it was too much. “I don’t want this,” he whispered. Victor stepped away, turning from him.

“Please,” said Henry, “I’m sorry-”

“No, you’re not,” said Victor. His heart sank. Victor was finally going to kill him. 

But then Victor turned, and he didn’t look mad at all. 

“It’s okay,” he said, stepping close again. And his eyes, they were so pretty now. So big and deep, and what was he thinking about? “You just need a little nudge.”

Oh yeah. 

Victor was attractive, and mostly kind, and took him to places he never could have afforded and-

He snorted. His life was already so goddamn weird.

“Sure, why not? It’s not like you’re going anywhere,” said Henry. “Might as well make the most of it.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” agreed Victor. 

Victor kissed him again, and they fumbled their way to the couch. He wanted Victor, and he wanted him now, witness be damned.

The man was dying anyway.

___________________

Henry woke up the next morning in a great mood. Last night was just… incredible. It was so obvious, he couldn’t believe he missed it.

He snuggled back into Victor’s cool arms. 

Sure, it was fucked up, but who cared? Victor was hot and financially stable (aka rich as hell) and took care of him.

It just made sense.

Maybe he could get a nice car if he asked Victor.

___________________

He was a genius. Just a little nudge. Wasn’t even cheating, really. Charming never worked for so long.

Henry still had his personality the whole night, so it didn’t even count as Charming him. Just a tiny, itty bitty nudge, and his precious little human had finally given in to his wooing. They had a wonderful night of pizza, drinking, and sex. 

So good.

Draining that pesky little boyfriend four years ago had finally paid off. 

He was an asshole anyway.

taglist: @paintedpigeon1

[leafdroids]

post without opiniers

[metukika]

christams hallmark movie grown up terumob au

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

Ianthe is what happens when you leave Coronabeth in purple shampoo for too long.

[anhedoniacity]

ഗOTL <- distraught elvis

[martinsbodaciousbooty]

Guys, what #quirky meaning is behind the dream where you see thousands of screaming faces engulfed in black fire for what feels like 1,000 years? I wanna know if this is a good omen. #sorceresscore #blackmagicapprentice #cutesy