#This is them whenever they started dating btw. And manager still had the intention of killing auditor

[doostyaudi]

Idk it was funnier in my head

[neighborhood-merc]

Guys !!! I am back! First of all, I hope all of y’all (your friends, family, pets! too) are doing alright. Keep safe! Wash your hands! Don’t go out if not necessary! Kisses! Kisses! Kisses! Alright, alright, let’s do this shall we? Same shit applies. [Here is Part 1 & 2 btw ] 

The themes of the stories on this list varies, I’m either into something heart-warming, fluffy, domestic that sort of stuff or into some really really heavy and dark messed up ones. (READ THE TAGS) It always depends on the mood am I right? *wink wink*

It’s always gonna be smutty though lol

As long as it’s tastefully written, whatever kinky shit, I can be into it, I don’t judge the writer (they give us free content y’all, who are we to judge??) With that being said if I add something straight up messed up here now/or in the future, don’t come for meh, just mind the tags of the fic, for your own discretion if anything.

this list should be Wade Wilson/Peter Parker - Spiderman/Deadpool pairing only. I kinda like my babies greedy/possessive for/of each other.

READ THE TAGS.

I don’t care who tops or bottoms.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summaries are taken directly from the fanfic’s summary.

Read the tags first!

Deluge (this is such a good boi, this fic is a good boy!) Weapon X chose Wade Wilson because of several factors in his life. He was a preternatural. He had extraordinary abilities that could be expanded upon. The cancer just made him desperate enough to agree to whatever they wanted to do with him.They didn't just turn him immortal. They destroyed his very soul, tearing him apart and shaping him into something new and never seen before. They took everything he had been and left him with ashes and bones. Soulless.He killed his creators and went on with his life.Then he met Spider-Man.Things started to change.Something inside him, something that had come out of the ashes and was a nightmarish, terrible thing, sat up and took notice. An intense, single-minded notice.

The Perks of Working Third Shift An AU in which Wade is wandering the globe and ends up in NYC where he meets the absolute most perfect man he's ever seen who's working third shift at a quick mart. Even better, the man seems happy to flirt back. Wade makes it his mission to score a date.Peter stopped dating a long time ago, but Wade's flirtations, energetic attitude, and hilarious comments make it hard for Peter not to enjoy the attention. But will all of that be ruined if Wade finds out his secret?

Better Like This  (Listen,  NotEvenCloseToStraight’s Spideypool works are amazing, read all of em, honestly just check out ALL the works of the writers on my list because if I list everything, this is gonna be a long ass list) No one knows Spider-Man is an Omega. Not the newspapers, not the NYPD, and certainly not the overly loud, definitely obnoxious, sort-of-a-good-guy, completely Alpha, Deadpool. And Peter would like it to stay that way. But when he drops into an unexpected heat, Deadpool is the only person he can call to help, and how quickly the Alpha switches from shouting dirty innuendos to whispering comforting things really throws Peter for a loop. After sharing a heat, Peter is convinced that Wade is his Alpha, and is ready to take him as his mate, but Wade rejects him. Wade knows that a man like him wouldn’t make anyone a good mate, much less a perfect, pretty Omega like Peter. So he says no, pushes the Omega away and unable to even work together anymore, they go their separate ways. Peter is devastated, heartbroken, seeking comfort in the arms of another Alpha, and all Wade can do is watch from a distance, and keep telling himself that he is doing the right thing, sparing Peter a life of disappointment and pain. Peter deserves better than him as a Mate, and one day Peter will understand. It’s Better This Way. But is it really?(Peter is Andrew Garfield)

Use Me Peter wants to help Wade. Wants to make him feel beautiful, wants to make him feel wanted... Wants to put out the fire in his own gut whenever he sees the merc for what he really is. He does.

Double Mint Gum Wade decides that only one of his fine-ass self just isn't enough 

Spider Spidey (SPIDERY SPIDEY!)

Bleed the Water Red Peter and Deadpool are held captive by a super-villain that has an inclination for torture. After she boasts her untarnished record at never having hurt a child or teenager, Peter is forced to break the truth to both her and Deadpool.“Did you know I have a perfect record?” The villain collects a rusted pocket knife, tracing it up Peter’s arm, over his shoulders, down to his collarbone, as though considering where to cut. Peter focuses on controlling his breathing, fear twisting awfully in his belly. “You may look down on me, Mr. Spider-Man, but for all the righteous suffering I inflict, I’ve never hurt a child. Not once.”“Y'know, I don’t think you do,” Peter blurts. At his words, Deadpool's stare intensifies. “Have a perfect, non-child harming record, that is.”

Don’t Keep Me Waiting Peter's 90% sure Wade likes him. Or at least he was sure. When you almost jerk off in front of the friend you're definitely not pathetically pining for and they never mention it again, it makes you doubt yourself. Peter knows he should probably just ask what the fuck is going on, but where's the angsty fun in that?

Sometimes When We Touch Peter answers a Craigslist ad for someone who is willing to pay for some unspecified physical contact/sex because he's just that broke. He's surprised to find out Wade Wilson is the one who posted the ad, but thinks he can still manage just fine even when the man explains he'd like him to wear a special costume for the occasion. Of course things become a little more complicated when Wade reveals the outfit he's chosen: a shockingly accurate Spider-Man suit

Sunflower 26 and standing at the head of Parker Industries, Peter feels young in every way. He doesn't know himself, he lacks a lot of experience, and he's struggling to get a grip on what he thinks of the merc with the mouth, an absolute force who has starting pushing his desires in a direction that terrifies him.He desperately tries to come to terms with sexuality, even when it means dragging Wade flat on his face.Takes place after the dance scene in Spider-man/Deadpool, with important plot details omitted. Follows these two through extreme character growth.

Two Thirds of a Whole (I honestly felt weird about this one, but eh, maybe someone who’s into it would appreciate it) Peter Parker and Wade Wilson, finding Vanessa dead and having never met, assume the second body is their other soulmate. When they meet in a market ten years later, they both have a chance they never thought they would get again-- a chance at love.But can they find a way to be happy as two thirds of a whole?

Holding Back The thing about not being able to die is that it makes everything so dreadfully boring. Seriously, immortality's a bitch. So, you gotta keep things interesting. How else are you supposed to get through the day without going insane? Well, more insane.Wade wants to be a hero, but fighting bad guys isn't enough to keep things interesting. Wooing Spider-Man might help, though. And exploring his kinks definitely will. Of course, he never thought anything would come of either of these things. Boy, was he wrong!

Missed You  (Imagine me covering me shyly covering my face for this ehehe) “Wade,” Peter whines, pulling off Wade’s mask and catching his lips in a deep kiss. All he can smell is leather and sweat and gunpowder, and he’s already embarrassingly hard. Wade comes home from a mission. Peter missed him. A lot.

Big Peter can't stop looking at and thinking about Wade's great big arms and shoulders and hands and back. He's fine. (He's not fine.) 

 Slip of the Tongue Sometimes Peter can forget how big Wade is, how much presence he has. Right now is not the time. His heart rabbits in his chest as he swallows, looking up. There’s always something there when Wade’s looking at him, something predatory, that makes Peter nervous and wanting, shivering hot all over.

Wade The Cat  “Aw don’t be afraid little buddy, it’s okay, he’s gone”Wade almost cringes at how someone is talking to him, what the hell?! He’s not a defenseless animal. Wait. No, yeah, he is.Wade looks a little alarmed, stepping back as the man crouches next to him, smiling sympathetically “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. You okay?”Wade holds his breath, gives an once over at the guy, beautiful chestnut eyes, the adorable smile, the red face probably resulting from the cold and the brown humid hair stuck to his forehead as he holds his umbrella for both of them and yep, ladies and gentlemen if he wasn’t before, Wade is right now a defenseless animal because “Meow” Wade says wiggling what should be eyebrows “Honey, I’d let you take care of me all night long” Wade purrs.

Gonzo Journalist (It belongs to a series “We fell in love in October) A young photographer working for The Daily Bugle hears about the tragic fate of an ex-soldier and decides to write an article about his cause to help him out. Maybe more than in one way.

The Man in the Mask When Wade is unceremoniously dropped off into the custody of one Dr. Parker, he assumes the man has only the worst possible intentions for one of the world's last remaining mutants. But it turns out, the universe still holds plenty of surprises for them both.

You Wear My Name Over Your Heart Like It’s Invisible "Why don’t you ever let me see it? If you have the name already, why can’t you tell me whose it is? I thought we were best friends."Everyone gets their Name when they turn twenty-one. It isn’t their own name either. It’s the name of their Soulmate. When Wade Wilson wakes on his twenty-first birthday, he looks down at his chest and sees Peter Benjamin Parker. He stares for a moment then shrugs, gets dressed, and doesn’t think about it for another six weeks.

Parachute, Please Peter unexpectedly goes into heat after an Avengers mission, which could have been fine, but the ride back is 2 hours and he's stuck on a plane with his closest friends and family.At least there's one person he can call at times like these for relief. And in comes Wade.

Peter Parker’s Home for the Wayward Villain A really long redemption story.

And Words Are Futile Devices Peter doesn’t think he’s lonely. He’s too busy to be lonely. He’s twenty-two, working on his PhD and holding down a shitty job at the Daily Bugle, not to mention his nightly extra-curricular activities. He’s too busy for friends, and he’s certainly too busy for romantic interests. And yet, shockingly, apparently everyone in his life thinks he needs to stop being an anti-social recluse and get laid.So Peter enters the wide, wonderful world of online dating. He doesn’t expect to find his soul mate, or even a friend, and he’s definitely not looking for hook ups. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, really, until one Wade W. Wilson catches his eye and captures his heart with risqué dog pics and a concerning obsession with cannibalistic serial killers.This is a love story. A sweet, inevitable journey towards each other. There is humor, and melancholy, and a touch of both gravitas and levity to the weeks that trickle by. But really it’s just an account of the slow, magnetic movement of Peter towards Wade, and Wade towards Peter.

Strays Wade finds Spider-Man unconscious on a roof top. Score!Or: Spider-Man has lost his memories, some of his vocabulary, and all of his social conditioning. Wade is losing his mind.

The Inverse Deadpool doesn't have to try very hard to hide his second gender anymore because ever since Weapon X, no one in their right mind would ever believe that Wade Wilson was an omega. It doesn't matter anyway, because Wade knows no Alpha would keep a male omega. No alpha WANTS one, much less one that's as scarred and unstable as he is. Apparently, Spiderman was born to break every rule Wade has ever known.

The Body Remembers When the Mind Forgets When people need a mate in their life, it isn't usually because they've forgotten they already have one. 

Half Your Age (Plus Seven) In which Deadpool has oddly specific and frustrating morals, Spider-Man has excellent friends, his lab partner has an opening for a bassist, Johnny Storm has the warmest feet, and everyone has had enough of hearing Peter talk about Wade Wilson (except Aunt May: she’s always glad to hear he’s back in town).

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 46

Oh, hi! Is it Saturday already? Well, then! Fanfic Progress Update! Stay tuned to the end of this post for a spoiler-y glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini AND the next chapter of Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 33 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 8th of January. Chapter 34 is halfway done and the scheduled posting date is 29th of January. This chapter is super fun to write, you guise.

I update this fic every three weeks on Wednesdays.

—–

Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: Husk is just your everyday demon, minding his own business and living his afterlife mostly in self-caused misery. He’s been at it for about ten years when he rather abruptly finds himself on the Radio Demon’s radar. Suddenly his life becomes a lot more interesting. For fuck’s sake, he did not ask for this bullshit. Alastor/Husk.

Progress: Chapter 7 is the current latest chapter, and was published on 10th of January. Chapter 8 will be published on 14th of January, and chapter 9 on 17th of January. The rest of the chapters are done and waiting for their turn; the final count is 16.

I update this fic every Tuesday and Friday!

—–

Fine, be a part of my afterlife, jackass! (previously known as Afterlife the Complementary Text)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a compilation of additional “filler” chapters that go between the chapters of “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”, starting from chapter 7. Read the main story up to that point or further before bothering with this one.

Every chapter of Afterlife is vital to the story: they bring the plot forward, each introduces a new development, each has a reason for being included. The chapters in this, however, are the ideas that couldn’t fit in Afterlife, because they don’t bring the story forward. So, additional fun Husk and Alastor content for this universe, because I feel like it!

Progress: Chapter 1 (or ch.7½ ) is finished and will be posted on 12th of January (Sunday. Tomorrow. Yay!) Chapter 2 (ch.7½ the second) is half done and I hope to get it done by 13th of January (Monday), but if not, then by either Wednesday or Thursday. Chapter 3 (ch.11½ ) is half done, no posting date yet. This fic is looking to be 7 chapters long at this time, but could still change.

So. This is happening now. I’ll be posting the chapters alongside the main story when we get to the point where they come in, assuming I’ve gotten them written out by that time. The updates will happen on the days I’m not posting anything else. Let’s see if I can manage this ^^;

Btw, there will be no sneak-peeks with this one. You’ll have to walk in blind each time ;)

—–

Drunk Alastor (workname)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary (temporary): Roles are reversed in many ways when a drunk Alastor knocks on Husk’s door and has no intention of going to his own room for the night. And it only gets weirder from there, leaving Husk with a most unexpected arrangement with the Radio Demon. Alastor/Husk.

Progress: Okay. This was supposed to be a long oneshot, but the thing kept writing itself and then took an unexpected turn, I divided it into chapters, and now it has a plot and will be an actual chapter story. Chapters 1 and 2 are done. Chapter 3 has been started. The plan is to start posting this once Afterlife is done with, assuming that I have this mostly written by then.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

Possibly worth staying for (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Radiohusk that makes me question my life choices (Hazbin Hotel)

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here are the promised sneak-peeks into Mini and Afterlife. (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fics themselves due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

The Hero statue started to freeze over. A pained grunt sounded in the air, and Link recognized the voice as Sidon's. Hylia damn it! Link grabbed the only boot he had left and tossed it to the right, as far as he could. An ice ray followed immediately, and Link took the opportunity to jump to the left, leaving his shelter. He locked his sight on his enemy, who was looking confusedly in the wrong direction now.

Afterlife

A few years flew by and Husk's friendship with Alastor grew steadier now that he had accepted it and was more or less embracing it. He still made sure to grumble about Alastor being a thorn on his side almost every time they met, but he only meant it sometimes, when Alastor was actually being a fucking pain in the ass. Which he was often enough, and he knew it, too. The bastard did it on purpose more often than not, so he had Husk's complaints coming and deserved every single one of them. There were moments of real camaraderie mixed in as well. For one, Alastor cooked for him all the damn time, whether Husk needed it or not, or even expected it. Alastor simply loved to cook and seemed over the moon with joy at having another person eating the food he made, which also enabled him to cook more often. By now Husk was so used to jambalaya, gumbo, dirty rice, and all things crawfish and shrimp that he felt like he had eaten them all his life. Alastor loved baking as well, so Husk now always had beignets or pecan cake or pecan pie or pecan cookies or pecan anything really in his food stash if he needed something sweet. Alastor didn't much care for sweets, so Husk basically had to eat all of it whenever the guy had the sudden urge to bake. If Husk wasn't almost anorexic levels of skinny regardless of how little or much he ate, he would worry about getting fat with the way he was being fed nowadays.

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

AO3    FFnet    Purple Crayon    Ko-fi

[hinatashoyo-desu]

Monday, April 27, 2018; 04:44am

Hi! Ngayong lang ako ulit nakapagsulat dito. Yung maayos. Hahahaha! I just want to say na I miss you, my journal. My only true friend. Alam mo ma bakit ako bumalik? Sorry ah ngayon lang kita na-update. Marami lang talaga nangyari sakin these past years na di kita nakakausap. So eto magkukwento na ko.

Naaalala mo pa ba yung huling entry ko dito? Na-in love ako kay Rom diba? Yung bestfriend ko dati! I hope you remember. After non kasi I was so devastated. I felt like I lost everything. Even yung pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko nakalimutan ko na. Di ko alam kung sino ba talaga ako that time. Ano ba talaga purpose ko ganon. Years have passed. Maraming naka-fling and shit just to make myself satisfied, temporarily. Sama ko no? Sorry. I became the person (a demon I guess) that I hated the most. Hirap. After ko gawin yung mga bagay na ayaw kong gawin, I feel so empty pa rin. I got really lost. Immersed in darkness.

Until, I met this young lady here, on tumblr. That's 2017 na when I got a chance to know her. Joanne yung name niya. She' kind and sweet. Pero alam mo ba, hindi dapat ako magko-commit to her? I just realized na siya yung magiging partner na hindi naibigay sakin ni Lord thru kay Rom. Ang pangit nga ng first meetup namin eh. Sobrang pangit. And it's all my fault, friend. I'm so sorry. I did tell you naman na I became the person I hated the most and I'm not proud of it. But things changed after our meetup. That very moment when I felt her hug, so tight to the point na ayaw pa niyang umuwi, I wept. I felt my emptiness after that hug. Yung pagod at bigat ng nararamdaman ko, pinaramdam niya sakin yon. She made me realized something that even I can't put it into words. I felt love once again. The love that I was longing for.

So yun nga, nasundan yung pagkikita namin then we consider it na kami na nga. Student pa siya nito. Graduating na siya ng BSHM (Hospitality Management. Pinalit sa HRM) Nagpakilala na ko sa family niya and same goes sa side ko. I introduced her to my nanay and pamangkins. Saka kapatids. Sa side naman niya, I really made an impact. As in, nanligaw ako! Every time na pupunta ako sa kanila, (btw, she lives in Bulacan and I'm from Cavite so... Yeah. I am reverting back to normal.) I always cook for them. Agahan, tanghalian, hapunan. Name it. I'll cook it for them. Nahihiya pa nga sakin yung mama at papa niya kasi bakit ako daw pinagluluto niya. I insisted to cook for them kasi sabi ko masaya ako na pinagluluto ko sila. Saka minsan lang ako makapunta sa kanila kaya sinusulit ko na.

Then dumating na yung big day niya. MAMARTSA NA SIYA!!! KUKUNIN NA NIYA DIPLOMA NIYA!! Nagpaalam ako kay nanay kasi madaling araw ako aalis non sa bahay kasi nga sa Bulacan punta ko. Sinabi ko na aattend ako ng graduation ceremony ni Joanne. Saka pangako ko sa kanya yon na every breakthrough na magkakaron siya, nandoon palagi ako sa tabi niya, sumusuporta. Tapos yun na nga, nakapunta ako and nasamahan ko siya sa important date sa buhay niya! Saya! Sobrang saya ko that time kasi yung dating pinapangarap kong gawin sa partner ko, nagagawa ko na paunti-unti. Para akong nananaginip ng tuloy-tuloy. Pero syempre, we're in this reality na hindi sa lahat ng oras, masaya. Hindi araw-araw pasko, kaibigan. We had our struggles, arguments, fights, sleepless nights kasi minsan magdamag kaming magkaaway. Not so good. But we learned our lessons in every trials. We kept each other for almost 2 years. Yes, my friend. 2 years lang ang tinagal namin.

She left me. Why? Napagod siya. Bakit? Gawa ko. There's this tendency of mine na kapag comfortable na ako sa tao, sumosobra. Nakakampante masyado. And again, I'm very sorry for that. Nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi. And admit ko rin sa'yo, kahit masaya kami sa isa't isa, I was tempted. And yes, I gave in. I cheated on her. Sorry. Sobrang sorry. Galit na galit ako sa mga kapwa ko lalaki na nagagawang manloko ng partner nila pero tignan mo, pati pala ako ganon. And yes, nagalit ako sa sarili ko. At that very moment, unti-unti na kong nagka-crumble. I'm shaking. My feelings, thoughts, and everything that I hold so dear, they started to fall. Little by little, I can't grasp them anymore. In short, naging burden na ko sa kanya. We started long fights to the point na wala talagang pansinan. She became my strength when I was so weak. But this time, she's the one now who's taking it away. Bakit? Kasi nga napapagod na siya. And I can't blame her for doing the same mistake as I did. It's my karma. But shit! Really! SO MUCH SHIT!! I cried so hard when I found out na she also cheated on me. Well, it's my karma as I said. Unti-unting naglaho lahat ng tiwala at pagmamahal namin. Until such time, she chose to give up. She chose to let me go. I can't blame her. It's all my fucking fault. Sinubukan ko pang isalba ang kakaunting meron pa kami pero ayaw na niya. Sumuko na siya. Tapos na ang laban. That time, I wore a mask and sunglasses after ko sumakas ng bus pa-Manila. It's like I'm hiding from someone but kung alam lang nila, I'm hiding my pain from them. The pain that lingers long enough to question my own worth. The tears that are telling me na I lost the fight. We both lost it. And again, it's all my fault. She ended it April 2019. (Yes friend, this time last year nangyari yon.)

Di ko na mabilang kung ilang gabi akong walang tulog non. Mga gabing pupunta ako sa shop para maglaro. Para makalimot. Pero every time that I open our past conversations, I felt so much pain to the point na wala na ulit akong maramdaman. Bumalik ulit ako sa bagay kung pano niya ko nakilala nung una. Grabe no? The displacement is still, zero. Walang progress.

Months have passed and I got my job in the resort na mina-manage ng pinsan ng tropa ko. Barista ako sa cafe don. After ko tanggapin yung job offer sakin, naaalala ko yung conversation namin na pagkasweldo ko sa unang sahuran namen, ililibre ko siya. As in lahat ng gusto niya sa isang araw, ako bahala! Pangako na namin yon sa isa't isa that time. Kaso wala. It's all too late.

Dati kasi walang-wala talaga ako non. Para lang makapunta ako sa kanila minsan, siya na nagpapadala that time para lang makapag-kita kami. Hindi ko siya mahindian kasi una, siya yung may gusto at iniinsist niya talagang pumunta ako. Nakakahiya namang tanggihan sa punto pa lang na yon. Pangalawa, gusto ko rin siyang makita. Saka hangga't may pagkakataon, pupunta talaga ako sa kanila. I wanted to create memories for us to cherish whenever opportunities present themselves. Sabihin mo nang oportunista ako pero sa kaso kasi namin, LDR kami. Mahirap na setup pero ginawan namin ng paraan.

Balik tayo sa timeline na may work na ko.

I immersed myself sa work para makalimot. Effective. Naggo-grow ako. Nagkakaron ako ng ideas professionally and syempre sa character ko. Unti-unti kong nagagawa yung passion ko to serve other people through food and beverage. And syempre, best quality service! Meeting new people, creating new relationships, and also getting a chance to get ideas na binabayaran ka pa after. Galing no? Sana proud ka sakin. Isipin mo naka-1 year na ko sa work!!! Yieee!!

Pero dumating din yung time na napapagod ako. Yung tinatanong ko na sarili ko kung kaya ko pa ba. Kung gusto ko pa ba. Ito ba talaga yung para sa akin? Lagi kong tanong yan when I got from series of mistakes sa work. Nakakalungkot. Minsan mararamdaman mo na kahit di nila sabihin, gusto ka na nilang tanggalin sa work mo. Lately ko na lang din na-confirm yung pakiramdam na yon nung nag-away yung mga boss ko. (Oo mga boss. 3 boss ko don: Mag-asawa tas yung isa asawa nung president nung resort. About sa business yung pinag-awayan so no worries. Hindi ito telenovela.)

My boss always talk to me na kaya ko naman daw basta ayusin ko lang daw ginagawa ko. I'm trying naman eh but it's so hard. Ewan ko. Siguro kasi di pa talaga ako ready for some serious kind of work kasi nga sobrang broken ako when I said yes to this job. Mali yung intention ko nung umoo ako. And again, I'm sorry. It's all my fault.

So yan. Yan yung mga nangyari sakin for the past years na wala akong entry dito. Sorry ulit ah? Sorry talaga. Pero wait, there's more!!! Namiss kita eh kaya susulitin ko na to. Baka matagalan na ulit bago kita makausap.

You know why I got the urge to write here? Because first, I watched "The Hows of Us". Tangina. Ang sakit. Lahat ng kinwento ko sa'yong pain and memories na sobrang saya, lahat yon bumalik nung pinanuod ko yung movie. Si Joanne kasi is very similar kay George. Yung sobrang supportive to the point na napagod na rin siya. Tangina! And syempre, na-realize ko ako pala si Primo! The one who values pride more than any other. Pagkakaiba lang namin? Siya kasi napapansin niya na napapagod na partner niya. Ako? Late ko na narealize when we broke up. Sobrang basura ko.

Lastly, someone reminded me to write. Yes! SOMEONE REMINDED ME TO FUCKING WRITE! Hindi naman niya sinabi verbally pero she made me realize something. Meron pala akong journal dito. Thank her, my friend! Hahaha! Dahil sa kanya, meron ulit akong entry dito!

I met her here, sa tumblr. Her blog show itself sa suggestions ng mga bloggers na pwede i-follow. Maganda siya. Got glasses, looks smart and kind tas mahinhin. I backread her blog. Mali ako dun da mahinhin. May pagka-tarantado rin pala. HAHAHAHA! Pero what I really admire about her is that, yung character kasi niya is so intact! She got a past that's so dark but she faced it, anyway. Tangina bro! Yung respeto ko sa kanya biglang sumipa pataas hahaha! PAAAWER! I followed her after that and syempre dahil hopeless romantic ako pero ayoko na maging torpe, I messaged her here. We got our talks. Di ako nagkamali sa first impression ko sa kanya na she's smart. Dude! She really, is smart! And damn! She's beautiful inside and out. Sobrang nakaka-melt gago! I told her na yun nga, I got a crush on her already and I'm always admiring her. Ayoko na kasi itago minsan yung mga ganon kasi baka pagsisihan ko pa, and syempre, she deserves to hear and feel such admiration kasi diba? Why not? Hahaha!

I asked her her facebook and she gave it naman so I added her. Gulat ako kasi tangina may mutual kami?! AND TROPA KO PA SA DATI KONG SCHOOL?! So tinanong ko siya kung san niya nakilala yung mga yon. Sabi niya di niya alam kasi basta na nga lang daw siya nag-aaccept dati (dati pa naman yon. Maingat na siya ngayon) kaya ayun.

Tas yon we had our conversations everyday. Ako naman yung nagchachat lagi. Ewan ko feeling ko nga nakukulitan na yon sakin eh. Pero you know what, simula nung magkaron kami ng deep talk, di na ko sure kung admiration na lang ba yon. When I'm talking to her kasi tas she responds, I feel peace. I feel so light. LIPAD AKO TWENG! Hahahaha joke! Kidding aside, she makes me love myself again. She makes me believe na I can be more of just who I am today. She encourages me to be better though di ko alam kung alam ba niya na ganon. Lately kasi, I'm having my anxieties kicking in my head kasi nga quarantine. Minsan pag kinakausap ko siya, she always tells me kung ano-ano nanaman daw iniisip ko. Alam ko naman! Hahaha! Ang hirap lang kasi labanan yung sarili pag ganon. Sana nagegets mo ko. Tas yon, I hope she understands me. Tas lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya na gusto ko siya ma-meet and makilala personally and since nalaman ko favorite type of pasta niya, I told her na I'll cook for her para matikman niya (favorite ko din kasi yujlng favorite niya so... Ehe) and syempre gusto ko din ma-meet yung family niya. Especially, yung lolo and lola niya. I just want to thank them for raising a person like her kasi tangina! SOBRANG DALANG NA NG TAONG GANON SA MUNDO NGAYON! And yon she really is an epitome of true beauty, I tell you!

I always tell her na yun nga sa halos araw-araw na nagkakausap kami, unti-unti kong nagugustuhan personality niya. Tho tamad siya magreply (w/c is a triggering part sa anxiety ko kasi baka ayaw na niya ko kausap ganon kasi nga ang kulit at ang daldal ko to the point na nonsense na yung sinasabi ko), she always reminds me na she's always there for me to listen and be a friend. Wala. Dun ako lalong tinamaan sa kanya. Gago! Nung nabasa ko yung message niyang yon, sabihin mo nang weak ako pero bro, naluha ako. She made me feel my worth. Na worthy ako kausap. Worthy ako magkwento kasi makikinig siya. Bro worthy daw ako kasi kahit papano, nag-iinvest siya ng time makipag-usap sakin. Tangina! Wala! Talo ako! Di ko na pwedeng lokohin sarili ko boy! Gusto ko siya! Kaya lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya na after this ECQ season, I'm going to find a way to meet her personally and cook for her. She deserves it, anyway. This time, I'll make it right. I'll do it the right way. Kahit sabihin mong makaluma dud, liligawan ko siya in a traditional way. She deserves it, really! (Saka laking lolo at lola siya so diba?) She made me realize na it's not too late to start anew. The sun sets but it rises again. Hays. Sana talaga! Sana! Sana mabigyan niya ko ng chance na makilala siya. Sana mabigyan niya rin ako ng chance na iparamdam sa kanya yung mga kaya kong ibigay. Huhu. Sana talaga!

So yon. Yun muna. Sulit no?! Feeling ko pag may nakabasa na nitong entry ko, maraming mag-a-unfollow saken HAHAHA! Sana di siya kasama don. 😢 So pano? Sa susunod na taon na lang ulit?! LOLjk. Will update you after nitong ECQ. Salamat sa pagiging journal ko. Wag ka mawawala ha? See you next time!!

PS: Nakalimutan kong ipakilala pala sa'yo. She's my "Happy pill".

[thestaytinies]

Stray kids reaction: Their s/o debuts under a different agency

Original request: G'day mate, can I request a reaction about skz when their girlfriend debuted in a girl group under another agency. Thanx. (If more specific, the girlfriend is a noona) Sorry that I haven't made it gender fluid :(

Wow that took me a while. I apologize but work was kind of stressful and I fell asleep as soon as I got home for the past few days. Also this kind of reaction was a little difficult for me, since a lot of the members would have similiar reactions, but I still tried to make it as individual as possible. :)

I hope you enjoy it and btw I'm finally on vacation for the next week and a half, so I will have more time to write something!

Chan

He knew how much you suffered during your trainee days. Of course one of the reasons was, that he has also gone through this but he was the one who was always there when you felt like giving up and encouraged you. It wasn't always easy because you were under different agencies and he worried that you were feeling sad when he wasn't there, but you two managed to handle this situation. He was strict because he wanted you to achieve this goal so he had little tears in his eyes when he saw you finally on stage with your debut song. He would wait backstage for you and envelop you in a hug after you finished your performance. "You did sooo great my darling! Come on let me treat you to something, everythings on me today!"

Woojin

Would promote the shit out of you. He was afraid that you could become kind of underrated since he knew how that could be, so he always mentioned your debut in interviews and tell the people to have their focus on you since you worked really hard for this day to come. Would also do a cover of your song on his guitar and upload it to promote you even more. He would also watch every performance of you and compliment you a million times. If he saw that you could do a little better on some aspects, he would say it to you because he wanted you to improve even more and bring the best out of you.

Minho

Would be very proud and happy for you but would also tease you to no end. It doesn't matter what kind of concept you did. "Ohhh my y/n is so cute, they have everyone wrapped around their finger", "ohhh you are so sexy, everyone is drooling over you", "you look so mysterious, i bet everyone wants to know how it is to date you". And so on. Might even get a little jealous since you weren't in the same agency and your debut rocked. So he couldn't see if any of the traines were hitting on you. But at the end of the day he knew that your eyes were only focused on him, especially during your performances.

Changbin

You would try to suprise him and didn't tell him about your debut. Your video would come out a day before your first performance and you knew and hoped that he would be to busy to notice it. Your plan luckily succeded and he would be very suprised to see you on the same music show as him, dresses up all fancy. The wheels in his head would slowly start to turn but it would all come to a stop when he saw you up on stage. Would be so mesmerized by your presence, the song and the dance that he would stand there with his mouth wide open. After the peformance he would fake pout because you didn't tell him but his big smile gave away that he was just to happy to care.

Hyunjin

Would be there for everything. Your shoot for your music video, your recordings, your dance practices, your first foto shooting, everything! Would give you all the advice he had to offer because he wanted to be like a role model, at least in the music industrie. Would show you some methods to rap better and how to find the camera on your shows. When he saw you executing his tipps, his heart would swell with pride. On your debut day he would proudly exclaim that he teached you and that you were his amazing partner who would go far in life.

Jisung

Would brag about your debut even before it happened. Would tell everyone to mark the date and either be there on your performance or watch through television. Bought all the merchandise your group had brought out like banners, t-shirts and lightsticks. Would wear all of these things and yell his brains out while screaming your fanchant during your performance. You would have to hold your laugh during the performance when you saw him. Would also be very proud of your vocals since he was the one who helped you with it. The only thing that bothered him a bit was that you were under different agencies since you didn't make it into JYP, but that was only for a short moment since your debut washed all his sadness away.

Felix

Would get an autograph from you before you got famous and brag after your debut that he knew you before you got famous. Would also brag about how he knew the real you and that he could hang out with you whenever he wanted. He would enjoy your debut song to the fullest and remind all the people around him to stream it and promote your album even more than his own! But he would also be kind of jealous because you were under a different agency and he didn’t know how many males were around you and what their intentions were. But he would trust you and just be happy that you made your dream come true, just like him.

Seungmin

Proud boyfriend and super hyper fanboy. Would cheer for you almost as much as for Day6 and would even try to make you collab with them instead with him because he wanted his two favorite singers to make a song, which he could listen to for hours. Would just like the others, promote you on all his V Lives and tell everyone how hard you worked and that you deserved it so much. Even though you would debut after him, he would still see you as a role model and ask you for advice if he was stuck on something, like his voice for example, but he would also be there for you whenever you needed him.

Jeongin

Would be so happy for you for months! He knows the best how hard it can be to achieve this dream and that you need a thick skin so that you can endure all the comments that are made about you. So he was relieved that at least the harsh trainee days were finally over for you. He would ask his members to throw a little congratulation party for you, were they could all give you some tips so that you were fully prepared for the idol life. Would also cuddle you the whole day to show everyone that the beautiful fresh debuted idol was his girlfriend.

[heyyyharry]

Could you write about YN and Harry seeing each other for the first time after a year of being broken up (maybe at a party) and they’re just both so sweet to each other and realize how much they want to be together again and everyone sees that? My heart hurts thinking about this oh lord

I’m gonna combine this request with a request I got quite a while ago.

“can you do one where you dated h in the past but broke up amicably but then you see each other at a party and he has a new girlfriend who is kind of a bitch and you just want to talk to him without her in the way?”

I’ll work on one request at a time. So don’t worry I won’t ignore any of the requests you guys have sent me. I’m gonna try to finish them all for you guys. Thank you for sending me great requests btw. These really helped my writer block. 

“Regretting something?” Harry rolls his eyes at Gemma’s question. His sister doesn’t have to explain herself because she knows he knows exactly what she’s implying. Harry hasn’t taken his eyes off Y/N ever since she arrived.

“We broke up, Gemma. We’re just friends now,” he says, not even sure as if he’s telling his sister or reminding himself. His eyes are still on Y/N and a smile creeps on his face when she throws her head back and laughs at a stranger’s joke. But Harry soon snaps out of it as he hears Gemma’s voice, which is full of disbelief. There’s no way he can be over Y/N and looks at her in such a way at the same time.

“You still love her.”

“I do, as friends,” he tells Gemma with a sigh. “And don’t say that in front of my girlfriend please.”

“You mean the girl you brought to my party without my permission?”

“Gem, come on. You barely know Jess!”

“Where is that little brat anyway? Walking around my house like she owned the place?” Harry pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated as his sister scans her eyes around the room to look for his new girlfriend whom she despises deeply without a particular reason. But then he realizes that Gemma never approved of any of his past relationships, except for Y/N, of course. She has her ways with people. He cannot think of anyone who does not like her.

“Here she comes.” Gemma nudges Harry and he turns his head to see Y/N walking toward him with a drink in hand and a smile on her face. For a couple seconds he completely loses his ability to think and Gemma has to smack him on the arm as a reminder to keep his shit together.

“Hey guys!” After one year since the break up, he finally gets to hear her voice again.

“H-hey!” Harry says awkwardly. Now that he is facing Y/N, he suddenly gets his tongue-tied and mild anxiety. This also happened the first time they met. Although he was the one who started the conversation, trying to act all confident, inside he was scared as hell. Later when they finally got together, she admitted that she’d been just as nervous as he had.

“I’ll let you two talk!”

“Gem!” Harry desperately calls after his sister who is quick to disappear into a group of friends, leaving him here with Y/N. She gives him a small smile and he does the same. To be honest, Y/N is a little hurt by Harry’s reaction. He doesn’t look so happy to see her even though she is more than thrilled to see him. She thinks maybe Harry doesn’t even want her to be here.

“I think I should go now…” she says quietly, but Harry immediately blocks her path. 

“No! Wait! Don’t go!” He’s not sure what’s really there to talk about if she stays, but he’s sure he doesn’t want her to leave…not again.

His sudden enthusiasm makes her giggle. And that sound she makes puts a big smile on Harry’s face. 

“I haven’t seen you in so long. H-how are you?”

“I’m great!” Y/N nods She looks happier and more relaxed, which makes him relieved. “I thought you were on tour.”

“I’m on a short break.But don’t talk about me. How’s your life been?”

Since the break up, that’s what he means.

“It’s been…okay I guess. I still have uni and I’ve been too busy with my internship to have a social life or see other people, you know.”

So that means she’s not dating anyone. Harry doesn’t know why that makes him quite happy, but guilt quickly washes over because he’s got a new girlfriend already. He shouldn’t be this excited! Well, speaking of his new girlfriend…

“Babe?”

Harry flinches when he hears the familiar voice and then a hand is laid on his shoulder. Jess gently pulls Harry back to her so he’s one more step further from his ex-girlfriend. The model gives her opponent a smile and presses her lips against Harry’s, giving him a deep, tongued kiss. 

“Jess, not now!” Harry forcefully pulls away. He notices the look on Y/N’s face and he just feels so bad about it. For Y/N, it’s not very pleasant to be in this situation either. She knows she and Harry broke up almost a year ago and he’s allowed to move on, but she’s just not ready to see him with someone else yet. However, Y/N still manages to put on the best fake smile and politely offers Jess her right hand.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. You must be Harry’s-”

“Girlfriend!” The girl says and clearly has no intention to shake Y/N’s hand, which the poor girl awkwardly withdraws as Harry’s new girlfriend stares her down like a dangerous predator. “And you must be his ex.”

“Jess, please…” Harry throws his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. Jess opens her mouth for another attempt to make Y/N feel bad but now Y/N’s not having it.

“It’s been lovely to see you again, H. I’ll catch up with you another time. And nice to meet you, Jess.”

“Y/N, wait…” Y/N hears Harry call her name but this time she ignores it and walks away from the couple. Like an instinct, Harry tries to follow her but Jess immediately holds onto his wrist to keep him where he is.

“What the hell was that?” Jess asks, her eyes widened. She’s just as surprised as he is by him wanting to chase after his ex. Harry can imagine smoke coming out from the top of her head like a cartoon character.

“You tell me? Because you just had to be rude to Y/N!”

“Who would be friends with somebody they used to love? Impossible!”

“Jess, please, not now, not at Gemma’s party,” Harry grumbles as his eyes moves to every direction to look for Y/N. But somehow she has disappeared in the crowded room. His heart sinks to the bottom of his chest.

…

Y/N has been trying to talk to Harry all night but she just can’t get him alone. His new girl is always around. Y/N hates her. Y/N believes Harry can feel it too but she’s not the one to blame. That girl is terrible to Harry. Y/N’s been watching them ever since she arrived and she’s certain anyone here can see that Harry is miserable with his new relationship. How can Harry be so blind and not see it? Jess treats him like a pet, not a boyfriend, like something she owes. Y/N sees her flirting with other guys at the party when he goes to the bathroom. Who does that?!

Yes, Y/N’s not afraid to admit that she’s still in love with Harry. Finding out he’s moved on is already bad, now she knows his girlfriend is a bitch, it’s way much worse. And she loves him too much to let him be with someone who doesn’t love him the way she still does. So she keep an eye on him, waiting for an opportunity to get him alone so the two of them can really talk; and finally, her chance comes. Jess leaves Harry’s side to go answer a phone call. Y/N watches as her ex-boyfriend makes his escape out of the crowded room, to Gemma’s backyard. Y/N hurriedly follows him.

“Harry!” Y/N closes the slide door behind her and the whole party indoors is muted. 

“Y/N! Hi!” Harry smiles, his face is lightened up the moment he sees Y/N. Harry doesn’t know why he is so happy. Maybe it will just always be this way. Maybe he will always get excitedly nervous whenever he sees her face or hears her voice. After all, he still can recognize the sense of her perfume on a stranger on the street. That’s the thing about loving Y/N, you can move on, but you’ll never really be over her. Standing here before her now, Harry finally realizes that.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you all night,” Y/N says slowly while walking toward Harry. 

“So have I,” Harry admits. “I was afraid you might’ve left already. You…”

The way you’re looking at him can do things to him which he cannot explain in words. Why do you have such pretty eyes? Now he’s so lost in them he doesn’t remember where he’s going with this.

“This may sound stupid but…you’re the only good thing about this party…”

“Harry…”

“I really mean it. You know I don’t really enjoy public events, parties, and such. When you’re around, those things become tolerable. I just-”

“Youshouldn'tbewithJess!”

Harry squints his beautiful green eyes at her and furrows his eyebrows. He looks surprised and confused at the same time. 

“You shouldn’t be with her, H,” Y/N repeats herself, her chest heaving up and down. Harry hasn’t spoken, so she swallows and carries on.

“Because…because…” You should be with me. “Because I can see that you’re not happy. What do you even see in her? She doesn’t love you Harry.”

“I…”

“Harry, I’ve not seen you really smile since I got here. She doesn’t care about you. She just wants to show you off and flaunt her relationship to the people here. You don’t deserve that.”

The loud voices and laughter from the party suddenly flood in when someone slides open the glass door leading to the backyard. Y/N and Harry shoot their heads to the side and find Jess standing at the door with her arms crossed.

“What are you doing? Get back inside!” She snarls. “I don’t want to look like I’m left alone while my boyfriend’s somewhere fucking someone else. You’re going to make me look bad in front of these people.”

“H, you’re better than this,” Y/N whispers, just loud enough for her and Harry to hear, but he’s not even looking at her.

“I’ll be right in there,” Harry tells Jess and Y/N really wishes she’d somehow misheard him.

Y/N widens her eyes, not wanting to believe those were actually Harry’s words. Jess gives Y/N a smirk and Y/N just can’t stand being here any longer. She pushes her way past Jess and returns to the party just to get her stuff and leave.

Harry clenches his fist when he watches her go. His girlfriend, on the other hand, lets out a relieved laugh, her hand on her chest. “Great, now that the trash takes out itself.”

“Jess,” the way he says her name is more like a warning not to go there.

“Come on, if you’re a good boy, I’ll suck your dick tonight.”

“Jess, we’re done.”

“WHAT?” Jess raises her voice but Harry just stares straight at her.

“Please don’t make a scene. I’m trying to save you from humiliation. Now if you excuse me.” Harry walks to the door where Jess is standing and she immediately blocks his path, puts one hand on his chest to stop him.

“I get to tell the press I broke up with you,” Jess whispers in fear that someone might hear it. Harry cannot care less. 

“Do whatever you want.”

Jess rolls her eyes and steps aside so he can walk away. Harry feels like a fool. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone along with this relationship in the first place knowing it would only be about sex and PR.

When Harry catches up with Y/N, she’s walking fast to her car. He calls her name and lucky for him, she stops and turns around.

“Why are you following me?” Y/N asks as she looks at Harry trying to catch his breath. He’s too breathless to speak. Just a few steps forward and he’s closed the distance between them. His hands bring her face to his and she just goes along with it. His lips find hers again after one year apart and they try to feel as much of each other as possible. Her fingers are in his hair as he holds her warm body against his.

“Your girlfriend,” Y/N mumbles against his lips. She’s clearly not in her right mind to make a full sentence at this point. Harry quickly shakes his head as a reply.

“Ex-girlfriend.”

She captures his lips with hers again.

“God, I missed you so much pet,” he groans.

“I missed you too, H. Please don’t ever leave again.”

“Wait until Gemma hears about this. She’ll frea-”

“Gemma already knows about this.”

The couple scream when they see Gemma which makes her scream just as loud.

“Shit, Gemma! How long have you been standing there?!” Harry asks, furrowing his brows at his sister. Y/N buries her face into his chest to hide from embarrassment but she cannot stop laughing.

“I went to the store to get more beer,” she answers while holding up the paper bag. “And then I saw this. But don’t mind me, carry on. I’ll be inside if you two want to celebrate.”

“She’s so embarrassing,” Harry says once his sister is gone. Y/N giggles and bites onto her bottom lip as she runs her hands up his chest. Her lips gently brush against his.

“Now, where were we?”

[emperor-lover]

hello! can I request for college! au jihoon ?

hello! of course you can~ here you go! im not used to writing for idols who are younger than me so hopefully it’s ok hahaa… (btw go read my Minki college!au if you havent yet, because im real proud of it woohoo) - I’ve edited it so no more typos woohoo

Park Jihoon College!AU

So there’s this guy in your lecture hall

And he sits in a spot a few rows down and to the right from you

so if you tilt your head slightly he’s in your perfect line of vision

he’s someone who’s always caught your eye because he’s literally so good looking???

and he looked super familiar but you can’t put a finger on why

in lectures he’s always taking down notes and listening intently to the lecturer

he sits with a couple of his friends and they all seem like a nice bunch of pals

y’know, the typical joking around, slapping each other on the backs, fist bumps, the stuff you see in stock photos and teen movies

and he has the nicest smile??? like wow this boy was blessed with some photogenic wonders that do not come by easily in this world

after a lecture one day you’re packing up your stuff and filing out of the room with everyone else, when you realise you left your jacket on the back of the seat you were sitting at

you trudge up the steps quietly to get where you had been sitting when you notice two girls, one of them giggling away whilst pushing the other up to the cute guy who’s still joking round with his mates

“Um…Jihoon?”

He pauses and turns to look at her

his facial expression is still smiling, waiting for her to continue speaking

“Would I be able to talk to you…in private?”

Jihoon’s friends are all like :o and trying to warn the girl with their expressions that this is not a good idea

and you’re a bit taken aback by how sharp his gaze has turned

it’s kinda scary, like he’s still smiling, but his eyes are cold

“anything you say to me, I’ll tell them anyway, so you might as well tell me in front of them”

the girl and her friend are taken aback, but she still manages to stutter out a confession

Your heart goes out to the poor girl, it’s takes a lot of courage to confess to your crush

you’re kinda amazed by the events unfolding in front of you so you squat down behind the seats to see what will happen next

You swear Jihoon just rolled his eyes???? wow rude 

He folds his arms across his chest “i don’t think you’d like me very much if you knew what I’m really like”

The girls just shakes her head, not wanting to take no for an answer but he cuts her off mid rebuttal

“anyways, im not interested in dating you. You can go now.” 

The girl’s friend quickly grabs the girl’s hand and pulls her out of the room before the waterworks starts and you hear Jihoon sigh in relief

Woweeee what a jerk

you’re surprised, because he seems like such a warm individual with his friends and from what you’d seen of him

his friend Woojin nudged his shoulder, “Jihoon, that must’ve been the 6th confession you’ve got since the semester started…”

Woojin had actually gone to the same high school as you, and although you weren’t close, you knew him as a warm and funny individual

So after what you just saw happen, you were surprised to see that him and Jihoon were so close

“I don’t get why they keep confessing to me, I’m not interested in dating right now, I thought I made that clear.”

he runs his hand through his hair, and your heart speeds up a bit

like ok he’s a jerk but he’s a good looking one

You realise you’ve been sitting there for a while now and you remember that you were meant to be on your way to your next lecture

You try to sneak out the back entrance without disturbing the guys’ conversation

but lol you trip

of course

out of all times to trip

you trip now

good job, you get an A+ for stealthiness 

And Jihoon and Woojin’s heads snap up to where you’re sprawled out on the stairs

and you make eye contact with Jihoon who’s staring at you with this look that can only be described as annoyed curiosity

Suddenly you realise where you recognise him from and before you can stop yourself, you hear your own voice echoing through the lecture theatre

“hey, you’re Wink Boy….”

There was this guy in all the commercials promoting your college, and the ending clip of him winking had highkey gone viral - hence “wink boy”

Like people were fangirling over him and coming to the college 

it was one powerful af wink

Jihoon sighs and looks like he’s about to say something but you haven’t finished talking

“….thought you’d be nicer, but guess not…”

Woojin starts snickering hysterically in the background, he’s surprised you’re talking back to Jihoon because you were always super nice when you went to school with him

Diverting your attention to Woojin you gave him a cheery wave, “hey Park Woojin, good to see you”

“Y/N, good to see you too! how long were you listening there for?” 

As you make small talk with Woojin, you notice Jihoon getting crankier by the minute.

First you insult him, then you ignore him completely as if nothing happened? 

“See ya later boys, don’t break anymore girls’ hearts”

And you left the pair with a blinding smile, flicking you hair behind your shoulder as you headed off to your next lecture (playing it cool, make them forget you just tripped over)

“Who was that?”

“Oh, that’s Y/N, I went to high school with them.”

Jihoon nods, deep in thought “…she’s pretty.”

Over time, you didn’t really have that many interactions with Jihoon

you’d still admire his good looks from afar in your lectures,

and your crush on him was still the same

but it didn’t really affect you that much that he didn’t spare a glance your way so you just kept living your life peacefully

or so you thought

Jihoon pestered Woojin about you, and how you two knew each other

poor poor woojin

Jihoon also hadn’t been going to all the lectures recently, and you were kinda like oh well, guess i don’t have any excuse to be distracted in lectures anymore

then one day it was time. 

time for good ol’ group projects woopdedooo…the true cupid but also kills friendships lmao

so far you’ve had good group project experiences so you’re excited to see the new faces you’ll be working with for the next few weeks

“Squish over will you?”

that is, until you look up and see that Jihoon has come over and is standing next to the table you’re at

“eh? Wink boy, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I’m in this group too.”

Everyone in the group was stoked that Jihoon was in their group because he always had some of the highest grades in the class and whenever he was in a group, they always got super good marks.

Like the lecturers and markers always love Jihoon and will give him good marks for his presentations 

and you knew he was capable, because you had been talking to a freshman called Lai Kuanlin who was getting tutored by Jihoon

But for some reason, you were struggling to believe it all now because for the past 3 meet ups, Jihoon’s sole focus had been on his phone

Usually you’d have the meetings at Jihoon’s dorm, because it was on the uni campus and that meant he wouldn’t have much of an excuse not to be there

But just the fact he never contributed any thoughts or ideas was starting to get on your nerves

The epitome of the “I’ll let you guys do all the work” member of the group

Everyone was too wary or polite to say anything but you could tell it was starting to get tense

One day after a meeting you tapped his arm as he slung his backpack over his shoulder

“Jihoon, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“What is it?”

“Is there something going on? You barely say 3 sentences in each meeting we have for this project…”

He opens his mouth to say something, and you wait for a response but he stays quiet

You can tell he’s hiding something but it’s not like he’s going to tell you his secrets anytime soon, so you just shrug and sigh

“Look, I know we didn’t exactly get off on the right foot, but can you at least put some effort into the project for the others? I don’t think it’s fair that everyone else is trying so hard and you’ve done nothing”

You head towards the door, but Jihoon grabs your arm

“Y/N-”

“make sure you send all the stuff you’ve done to me by tomorrow otherwise we’re all going to fail, and i’m not letting that happen”

Jihoon just nods at you and you look into his eyes, trying to decipher what’s going on in his head

“You know you can talk to me right? I’m not going to judge you.”

“I…I’m…never mind”

You didn’t want to push further so you just nodded and headed off home leaving Jihoon in a daze. There weren’t many people he had met at college who genuinely cared about people like you did.

However, even though you were holding back as much as possible, you had been delegated the role of putting everyones work together and submitting it

So when it was the day before the deadline, and Jihoon still hadn’t sent his work through to you….

you just snapped, storming over to his dormitory and knocking roughly on the door

“Jihoon, open up! It’s Y/N”

Standing outside for another couple of minutes you figured that he must not have been home and you were about to head off when you saw him round the corner 

“Y/N? what are you doing here?”

“The project? You haven’t sent me your things yet, and you havent been replying to any of my messages”

“You sent me messages?” He took his phone out of his pocket, gulping nervously when he saw the list of missed calls and unread texts.

“Look I can explain, do you want to come in first?”

He opened the door to his dorm and ushered you inside, before you can answer

“Last month, I was scouted by a company to become an idol….”

Recently, he had been training non-stop, which explained why you hadn’t been seeing him in all your lectures like usual

He’d get home late, have no time to work on anything or relax

And the company trainee contract meant that he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about his training and he still had to attend as much college as possible

As Jihoon explained his situation, you saw the exhaustion on his face and how genuine he was explaining himself

You sat down next to him, getting your laptop out of your bag

“Well, it’s called a group project for a reason, I can give you a hand”

“No, it’s fine really, I’ll get my part done and send i through to you ASAP, you can go.”

“And risk you falling asleep halfway through and not meeting the deadline, no way.”

You end up working all the way through the evening, stopping briefly to wander to the kitchen to make some coffee

Woojin was there making something to eat and he looked up at you in surprise

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Oh I’m working on the group project with Jihoon, we’re a bit behind schedule”

Woojin looked disappointed, “Is that all? Jihoon hasn’t told you anything…interesting?”

You raise an eyebrow in confusion, “interesting? Oh you mean how he’s a trainee?”

“Yea-! wait no! He told you that he’s a trainee?” 

“Yeah, it explains why he hasn’t been at lectures”

“Ah never mind that, there was something else he’s been wanting to ask you!” Woojin giggles, “Jihoon’s a good guy, just give him a chance alright.”

“A chance for what?”

“I said too much, never mind” 

You shake your head, not too sure what Woojin was going on about, but you took the two coffees and headed back to Jihoon’s room

Closing the door behind you were about to ask Jihoon to decipher what Woojin had just said when you noticed him fast asleep at his desk

Setting down the coffee gently on a coaster you sighed.

This was probably the first time he slept in a while judging by his under eye bags

You walked slowly to his bed, and grabbed the fluffy blanket, placing it over him

You took in his appearance as you stood looking over him

He looked so relaxed when he was asleep, so different to the cold stare he had given that girl who confessed to him during your first encounter

His eyelashes are long and they flutter gently whenever he inhales, his body rising and falling steadily with each breath

You tear your eyes away from him and back to your laptop screen, trying to snap yourself out of the daze, you have to finish this project by tonight

It’s only moments later when you realise that you’ve also drifted off into a slumber

The feeling of something soft is over your shoulders, and you realise the blanket has moved from its owner and is now covering you

It smells like Jihoon though and you find yourself closing your eyes again relaxing in the warmth

—Wait. You fell asleep? 

Your eyes flicker open just in time to see Jihoon printing out sheets of paper and stapling everything together

You glance at the clock and you swear your eyes are playing tricks on you when it reads 3AM

“When did I fall asleep??”

Jihoon is startled by your voice, causing him to drop the stapler he was holding

Both of you reach down to grab it, bumping heads at the same time

You both pull back rubbing your heads in pain, before looking at each other and bursting out into giggles

He looked at the clock, “You probably fell asleep a couple of hours ago, I finished the rest of it and printed everything out so don’t worry. It’s really late though so I should’ve woken you up earlier, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, “It’s my fault! I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. But seeing as you’ve finished everything, I should probably head home now.”

“W-wait! Let me walk you home at least”

You were taken aback, but it was late, so you figured better be safe than sorry.

You only realised how cold it had gotten as you stepped outside and the air hit you

You shivered slightly, your cardigan wasn’t doing a great job at keeping you warm

Jihoon looked over at you as you walked together, noticing that your teeth were chattering

He reached into his pocket, and handed you his handwarmer

“Take it.”

You look at him in surprise, “Oh I’m fine really, we’re nearly at my place anyway.

“Just take it.” He places the handwarmer gently but firmly into the palm of your hand

The dim street lights make it hard to tell but you swear can see faint traces of a blush on Jihoon’s face

“Y/N, your hands are freezing?!”

You shrug, “it’s just bad circulation, i’ll be fine with the handwarmer, thank you”

Jihoon shakes his head in concern before grabbing both your hands in his

His hands are warm and soft against yours and you blush at the close proximity

He brings your hands up to his face and slowly breathes onto them, the warm air hitting them

It’s a sweet gesture and you’re getting even more flustered because who wouldn’t want their longtime crush to do something like this

You tried to divert your attention to something else, so you started up another conversation

“Oh, so Woojin was telling me that you had something interesting to tell me?”  

“Oh um.” Jihoon lets go of your hands and scratches the back of his head awkwardly

You’re a bit sad at the sudden lack of warmth of his hands round yours but you just ignore the feeling

“Must be something juicy, what is it? Do you like someone?”

Jihoon’s eyes widen, and you realise you hit the nail on the head.

Your heart sinks a bit but you force a smile on your face, “ah how sweet, what are they like?”

He takes a deep breath, eyes practically glazing over as he speaks, “she’s beautiful, and kind and has the most breathtaking smile…”

You nod silently, glad that your house is literally only a few more steps away

“and also..well…you’d probably know better than me.” Jihoon stops walking, making you pause mid step. 

“Uh….hmmm, is it Sohyun? oh, wait, what about Jaehee? Am I right? Yes? No?”

He’s looking directly at you, his stare burning straight through you. “You really have no idea who I’m talking about….”

You’re literally so confused, trying to think of everyone in your class.

“For someone as bright as you, you’re quite slow on the uptake aren’t you?”

Next thing you know, Jihoon has reached over to you and pulled you to him

His lips are sweet on yours and your mind is racing as his arms embrace you gently

You can feel his heart hammering quickly against his chest under your palm and you can feel your own heartbeat pounding in your ears

When you pull apart, both of you are too shy to make eyecontact and you splutter out a goodnight

you reach up and give him a quick peck on the cheek before zooming inside your house, immediately resting against the door as soon as it closes behind you

A few minutes later your phone chimes and you pick it up tentatively

It’s a text from Jihoon. 

From: Park Winkboy:Hope you sleep well tonight and I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for helping me out with the project.

You smile gently, and you’re texting a reply when your phone chimes again

From: Park Winkboy:P.S. I really like you 

i can totally picture college Jihoon embracing his dorm!jihoon self and going full tsundere mode lol - This is so long tho omfg when did i become winkboy trash.