#This is the third time they've pulled this kind of bullshit on me and I deserve the pleasure of destroying them but the world isn't fair.

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

Were this a lawless land I would obliterate whoever at Xfinity decided to raise my bill again for no good fucking reason.

I signed a fucking contract to pay a specific amount for a specific period of time they shouldn't be able to charge me more with almost zero notice and then force me to use their dogshit website where I have to reset my password in order to access my account and maybe figure out why the fuck they're doing this to me.

I can look into other internet service providers but this stupid company is the only one in many areas capable of delivering service to older homes and my chances don't feel good. Not to mention there's the possibility that they'll fucking charge me for quitting their service!

Edit: WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME THERE WAS A FUCKING SECURITY BREACH THAT AFFECTS ALL CUSTOMERS?! Supposedly they sent out an email when it happened, in late October, but I never got an email about it or a letter in the mail, meaning I didn't know until just fucking now that my username, password, and basically all personal information was hacked.

Yep. Whatever it takes I'm switching to another provider. This is absolute horseshit.

[acowardinmordor]

My brain won't shut up about this, so maybe if I write it my brain will let me finish working and get this massive work project off my plate.

Warning for Accidental Drunken Pregnancy

Fandom loves, correctly, the idea of Girl!Steve Harrington, either as an 'always a' or trans, we're a fan. And that's good. No arguments from me there.

But I was thinking about Always a Girl Eddie. And the impact that would have. Because see, Eddie is already Wrong in a lot of ways. She's poor, she's loud, she's a freak, she sells drugs, and starts shit with bullies. She's too much in every way, and she refuses to be a girl properly. Has ever since she was old enough to express an opinion.

She didn't want to play with dolls or play house. She wanted to run through the park chasing dragons. When her parents fought, she wanted to run away and get found by the Addams family where no one would be mad at her for liking black and reading about blood and fights and monsters.

By the time she's in high school, everyone's decided she's a lesbian. She isn't. She thinks she isn't, but she doesn't get a chance to try or test or find out before the whole damn town has made it Known. Eddie doesn't wear skirts, and she doesn't style her hair, and she doesn't listen when the counselor sits her down to talk about her behavior and how she needs to try to be a bit more like other girls if she wants to get married one day. That's her junior year, which is when she snaps and, true or not, goes on a rant about being a carpet munching butch who never wants to have a husband.

Her friends don't care. They've talked to her and agree its all bullshit. Her only regret about it is that her outburst becomes fodder for the kind of bias that makes her fail two classes her senior year. It makes her fail four her second time around. PE is one of them. The teacher won't let her participate if she isn't 'dressed appropriately' which suddenly requires that all the girls have their legs shaved. Surprise surprise, Eddie is the only one that has an impact on. Wayne gets into a shouting match over it, and he wins, but not in time for Eddie to pass.

And every time someone pushes her to be more ladylike, Eddie doubles down on being a freak because she's a lot of things, but she's not a quitter. The one good she knows she manages is that barely any other girls in Hawkins get bullied all that much. Eddie pulls too much attention, and Eddie is so far off the end of the scale, it makes the minor mistakes easy to ignore.

All her friends are guys because the girls of Hawkins are scared of the witch/lesbian/succubus/whatever bs they came up with this week. There are some girls who Eddie thinks want to come talk to her, thinks she'd be friends with if she could, but any girl willingly hanging around the Freak is going to get painted with the same brush.

She showed up to every single class in her third go around, daring her teachers to fail her again when she was getting perfect scores on anything with a straight answer, and doing so well on the subjective stuff they were giving her passing grades. She had a new flock of sheep who didn't care about the rumors because she ran Hellfire for them.

After Spring Break, after they accuse her of seducing and murdering Chrissy, after Eddie walks into Mordor and is dragged out the other side. After Eddie gives everything she has for a town that hates her, the school gives her the diploma. Maybe its just because they're terrified that she'll come back for a fourth try if they don't, but she has the damn thing.

Or maybe they don't want the new freshmen to start crying when they see her scars.

After the hospital lets them all leave, and after El and Will do whatever it is they do and promise it's over for real this time, Robin, Eddie, and Harrington sit around and watch crap movies and talk. It's still June when Robin comes out to her, and Eddie has to awkwardly explain that she isn't. Supportive, in favor of it, but not sure if she's like Robin.

"But everyone heard about what you said to--"

"Yeah, she was telling me I should start curling my hair and wearing makeup so I could find a husband."

"She did not."

"Yeah. I kinda snapped."

A few minutes tearing apart that kind of thinking later, and Steve asks, "So you like dudes?"

Eddie shrugs, because she's never tested that either. A bit of leftover enmity from when he was the King and she was the Freak keeps her from admitting she's a virgin. Instead she gestures to her face and neck, the part of her chest visible around her tank top.

"Don't think that's going to matter, Stevie, not now that I look like the Wicked Witch midway through melting."

There's nothing either of them can say about that. Between her status as a murder suspect, the infection from Upside Down dirt, and how efficient the demo bat fuckers were, her scars are ugly. Not the sort of thing she's read in books that a hero learns to take pride in. Just a mess. Her smile is jacked up on the left, and while she does have both of her nipples, the one boob is significantly smaller, and lumpier than the other now.

But they're friends, and its nice. Robin didn't find a fellow lesbian, but Eddie can understand the way she feels, and they bond over it. Where Robin goes, so goes Steve, so intentional or not, Eddie and Steve get close. Help each other with scar cream type close. It would be weird if there was any universe in which Steve would ever be interested in her. Instead they're good friends, and co-conspirators against the gremlins.

Robin is starting college in the spring semester in Chicago. Steve is going with her. Obviously. Eddie hasn't agreed to anything, but she's considering it.

They have one last party at Harrington's place. The kids leave around seven. The Hellfire guys leave around nine. By eleven, all three of them are plastered, and Robin is lamenting that she's leaving Hawkins and still hasn't kissed a girl. Eddie rolls her eyes and smacks one on her. Get it over and done with, right?

After an hour of Robin flustered and babbling about 'yes, yes, yeah, I do like girls! Kissing! Kissing girls is great! Steve! Steve-o! Did you know kissing girls is great?" she passes out on the couch.

Steve and Eddie, just sober enough to know that they're all going to be hungover in the morning, close blinds and lock doors. They leave water and asprin by Robin, then chug down a glass each.

"So, did it help you figure it out? Kissing my Soulmate with a capital P? Did you figure out if you like kissing girls more than guys?"

Eddie giggles instead of answering.

"I know Rob's not kissed anyone, but if you liked kissing her you probably could tell, right? So if you liked kissing her as much as you like kissing guys, or if its not like kissing guys, then you know!"

Steve's not a dumb as the kids joke. When Eddie doesn't answer, he puts it together. "Oh. Oh shit. Eds. You and Robin were each others' first kisses? Thats so -- you didn't have to do that! And now you don't know if you like kissing girls or guys or both or neither or -- Oh!"

Eddie watches Steve come to his decision and turn, and she decides to let it happen. Steve is the only guy her age who doesn't wince looking at her face. This is probably the only chance she's got until she's old enough her skin gets all wrinkly and no one can see the scars are there anymore.

It's better than kissing Robin. There's a lot of reasons why that might be true, but none of them matter, because after that first one. After a few seconds pause. After she leans a little closer like she's asking, they don't stop.

She wakes up naked and sore, with a blinding headache and the tight-skin pain that comes from forgetting the scar cream.

Awkward doesn't cover it when they look at each other in bed. When Robin trips on her way to make coffee, it gives them an excuse not to talk about it. It's bad enough that Eddie keeps thinking about it, and excavating the fragments of memory she's got. Probably the only chance she's going to get, and she remembers barely half. She does remember liking it, and Steve liking it, and neither of them being weird about the scars because they've been helping each other with them for months now.

Once they're sober enough for it, they talk, both of them apologizing, but not really. Neither of them regret it, even if it wasn't their best idea, and Eddie starts quoting Robin's rant about antiquated concepts of virginity when Steve tries to apologize for that. It's definitely weird, but they're not going to freak out about it.

By Wednesday, when Steve and Rob are loading up the beemer to drive north before the holidays, so they could get a place with a rental discount, everyone turns out to say bye. Eddie winks at Robin again, because it still makes her blush, and it still makes Eddie and Steve laugh when she does. She gives Steve a hug, and a promise to make a decision soon about moving up with them.

Six weeks of scheduled phone calls with them, and uncomfortable talks with Wayne, Eddie has finally, finally decided to go for it. She'll still be a freak, but according to Steve, no one in the city will bother her about it unless she asks them to. He's working at a diner, and swears the bookstore across the street will totally hire Eddie if she applies. Robin loves her classes, and her part time hours at the library on campus.

It's while Eddie is looking around and opening drawers, trying to plan how to move with more detail than 'throw stuff in the van' that she notices. There's a box of pads, mostly empty, in the corner of the bathroom cabinet. It's been mostly empty since November. And yeah, her period has never been predictable, and this isn't the longest its gone, and Eddie has never cared since she wears black all the time -- but. This time she had sex.

The odds are tiny, and the image of it is ridiculous. Eddie isn't any kind of a mom. Harrington is more a mom than she is. Anyway, all that shit in sex ed about it only takes once is crap. And she remembers Steve getting out the box of condoms. She doesn't remember anything between that and getting fucked, but she definitely remembers how concerned he was about opening the foil. So there's no way. No chance. Absolutely none.

The test comes back positive, and the nurse at the planed parenthood in Indianapolis asks if she wants to hear about her options.

It's pretty easy to choose as it turns out. Easier than quitting smoking cold turkey is for sure. Hell of a lot easier than telling Wayne. It's not something she ever wanted, ever thought about or considered, but Eddie knows this is the only chance she's got. Well. Sperm donors maybe, not that she'll ever have the money for it, unless she paid a guy to keep coming around until she got knocked up.

At first, she keeps it quiet because the nurse told her about the potential problems, especially with how much Eddie drank and smoked. It's not certain, so she stays quiet. Stalls the topic of moving up. She waits an entire day for the doctor to slip her in between appointments to get an ultrasound and check. Everything looks good. Healthy. and Eddie gets on their weekly scheduled call, hears Robin and Steve laughing as they tell stories, and Eddie breaks it to them.

"What do you mean? You said you were going to move up here. I thought you said you -- Eds, what the hell? You're going to leave me alone to watch Robin's attempts at flirting? You - I thought you promised."

"Excuse you, Dingus, she needs to come up so we can watch your attempts at flirting. I'm great."

"Fun as that sounds, me and Wayne are getting out of Hawkins. Wayne has some family in West Virginia, and I can't leave him at the mercy of all those spinsters. I'll still have a phone, you know."

They move before she's showing, and Wayne never asks, and Eddie never tells, but her uncle knows who it has to be. They land in Summersville, which is a damn lie since its a blizzard when they arrive. It isn't hard to use moving as an excuse to cancel a few phone calls. Then uses a boss moving her hours working at motel as an excuse when hormones means she knows she'll start sobbing if she gets picks up the phone.

Steve gets accepted to a community college. Robin aces her exams. Eddie finds out she's having a girl. She wouldn't have spent the money to find out since it wouldn't change anything, but the planned parenthood was still worried because of the alcohol at the start.

Wayne brings it up. Eddie considers it.

Steve gets a girlfriend. Eddie stalls.

Robin calls solo because Steve is on a one month anniversary date.

Eddie abandons the idea.

She never makes a choice to hide it from anybody. It's always one moment at a time, needing to get through one more thing, one more problem, one more checkpoint, then she could say it. By the end of July it's been too long, and it would be too weird. They didn't have some great tragic romance. They were good friends who got drunk one night. And Eddie is just living up to the warnings all the guidance counselors scribbled down about her.

She's never going to be anything special. She's not going to go chase her dreams and become the Joan Jett of metal music. She's coming up on eight months pregnant, can't hide it or pretend its something it isn't. She's still loud and obnoxious. She still wears all black and chained pants and refuses to style her hair in anything more complex than a ponytail. She's still mauled by monsters and scarred.

She's never going to be marriage material, and never wanted to be anyway. She can be a good mom though. Not a normal mom. Or a traditional one. She's probably going to end up punching someone at a pta meeting. But she can be a good mom for her daughter, whoever her daughter wants to be as she grows. And if that means she has to learn about ballet and glitter and my little pony, then she will.

Steve and Robin ask about a visit before their classes start since they'll have to do calls every other week now. They offer to drive to West Virginia, or buy Eddie a bus ticket. Eddie manages to dodge that bullet.

She dodges another when she starts contractions while on the phone with them, and plays it off like she has heartburn. She cries when she holds her daughter thirty hours later, smiling broad enough that the scars on her face hurt nearly as bad as the rest of her.

She gets good at sewing together a patchwork lie. Gets Wayne to take Lulu out for a walk during calls. Swallows the guilt when Steve talks about his girlfriend, Amy, who wants to have kids. Stares down the pediatrician who raises an eyebrow at her daughter's name.

It's awful. It's wonderful. It hurts more to do it alone than Eddie could have imagined, but she still can't bring herself to say it. Not because she thinks Steve would hate her for it . He wouldn't. One look at Stephanie Luthien Munson -- Lulu -- and Steve would know. And Steve would stay. And Steve would give up his classes and his girlfriend and his hope for his perfect family. Eddie has always known she's not what anyone is looking for.

So Eddie gets good at dodging questions, and explaining away noises in the background, and finding very reasonable excuses not to come out to visit. Very good at it.

She makes it to June of 1989, when her best friends decide it's been too long, and show up for a surprise visit.

Eddie was right though. It only takes a glance at the toddler on Eddie's hip as she opens the door for both of them to know.

[pearlescentpearl]

murder cat sword only likes its wielder's boyfriend , one of my favourite SVSS fics of all time! Either Binghe’s perspective on this unexpected Shidi with weird priorities, or a future time stamp a few months in the future?

or a thousand years is a long time to be idle future time stamp, LQG and flower!SY continuing to be disgustingly married/

oh gosh, I haven't poked at scum villain in so long. alright here we go.

When Luo Binghe opens his eyes to a wooden ceiling, the feel of sheets against bare skin, and Xin Mo nowhere near, he's prepared to have a bad day he fully intends to make someone else's bad day. He reeks like the silty end of a river, his hair feels like one big itchy clump on his scalp, and his throat is dry as hell; all in all, raking his claws on some handsy fool sounds like a perfect pick me up.

What looks like a humble bedroom is at least not the worst place he could wake up in. Luo Binghe will give it that.

Stumbling, yanking the sheets around him as he goes, Luo Binghe makes his way to the curtain separating off the bedroom and listens intently.

No one's in the house. Strange. Did a would be thief have the decency to dump his nude self under shelter before abandoning him?

No. Ridiculous. This house looks freshly occupied.

Ah, a window!

Well, Luo Binghe thinks, finding his clothes haphazardly strung up on a clothesline outside, one less thing to take out of someone's hide, he guesses. Not by much though, his nose wrinkles, even from here he can tell they've been improperly laundered.

But he sees also a water pump so he pops the wooden frame of the window out with a brief burst of qi and crawls out. Ah, blessed, clean smelling water on his scalp, sluicing away the filth, how he has missed you. When he razes the world to blood and ashes he'll be sure to spare this pump only.

Now clean and water flash dried to steam with a touch of demon fire, sheet wrapped back around him properly, Luo Binghe follows the faint sound of a voice coming from what seems to be a forge in the back. Strange... Why would a blacksmith live in such an isolated spot? It's not at all practical for their trade.

Suspicious, Luo Binghe creeps on silent feet and peeks in.

The smith's back is turned to him, and-- yes, that is the feel of a cultivator. Nowhere near as strong as himself, but Luo Binghe finds fewer and fewer of those these days.

More importantly, he has Xin Mo and appears to be doing something to it. Why the sword hasn't obliterated the flesh from his hands for touching it is a mystery.

No sense in letting this play out, he hasn't patience for that. Grabbing the sword from the nearby rack, Luo Binghe's slips it in under the man's chin, noting the cultivator-youthful features. Kind of an average pretty boy, but that kind of things gets run of the mill in the sects.

"Good morning?" the smith tries, voice pleasantly clear and low. He must have excellent recitation. "Are you... feeling better?"

Am I feeling better? Luo Binghe mocks in his head. After your cursory hospitality how could I not be in peak condition?

"Who are you and what are you doing to Xin Mo?" He demands, keeping the sword rock steady.

"This one is Shen Yuan of Wan Jian Peak, of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect," Shen Yuan says, like it's not stabbing half a dozen of Luo Binghe's reverse scales concurrently. "I pulled you out of the river this morning. As for your sword; I'm cleaning it."

Likely story! Luo Binghe was born in the morning but it wasn't this morning! He'd only been to Wan Jian Peak the once to get long lost Zheng Yang, but he'd heard all the gossip from Ning Yingying how homebodied and insular the Third Peak was. They were the one of the least inclined to leave the sect before reaching a mastery level in their craft, and that took a minimum of twenty years. This guy hardly felt older than himself, so unless he started in the cradle the only thing he's mastered is bullshit!

"Wan Jian Peak," Luo Binghe repeats, unimpressed. Let's see the liar sweat with holes poked in his story. "I was under the impression none of you ever left the mountain."

"I am a senior disciple expanding my horizons," Shen Yuan says loftily, scowling.  “Now are you going to stop being such an ungrateful guest any time soon? I’d like to get on with my day, please.”

No fear? Odd. Annoying. Who was this that being disarmed and held at sword point on his knees is treated as a mere inconvenience?

He finds his grip on the hilt relaxing despite himself. "Xin Mo doesn't need cleaning."

"That's where you're wrong," Shen Yuan calmly refutes, still in that lofty tone, brazenly pushing the sword away with a single finger. “This poor thing smells like enough old blood to put an abandoned butchery to shame. Did you find it in a mass grave or something?”

Luo Binghe twitches, feeling caught out. That's... too accurate, actually.

“It’s a demonic sword, it does that,” he growls, scrambling to keep control of the situation. And, shit, he said too much!

He can't quite... parse the look the other is giving him. Shen Yuan almost seems to double take, eyes wide and fascinated, like he's just now noticing Luo Binghe properly. But it's too perceptive, it's too knowing, Luo Binghe feels naked before whatever enlightenment is Shen Yuan is having. Really, who is this?

“Still no harm in letting me do my job,” Shen Yuan insists, implacable and unafraid, popping the cork off of whatever poison he thinks will stick to Xin Mo. “If nothing else I can cut down on the smell.”

Should Luo Binghe just kill him now and have done with it? Is he really as weak as he feels and just stupidly overconfident, or is he hiding his strength? A normal cultivator of his strength ought to be cowering before Luo Binghe's might by this point.

He hesitates. Xin Mo pulses hungrily in his senses, angry claws. "Fine." Whatever Shen Yuan uses won't affect Xin Mo anyway.

Or, at least, so he thought. That is... an impressive amount of rancid blood trying to flood the foor.

Shen Yuan arches a brow at him, and it feels extremely judgy.

"Ah," Luo Binghe says, unable to really... defend himself here.

"Ah," Shen Yuan parrots back with a too knowing nod.

[rivka-kopelman]

Crepuscular Lemur: Log 0.3

<view full log>

[July Xth, 30XX]

Hi it's Delivery Lemur. Taking a little break right now.

I want a coffee, but I just ate a sweet_orange bar, and I've learned that coffee flavor right after orange is really gross so I'm gonna wait for a bit.

This is planet Thusp. It's uninhabited. I wonder if I could climb any of those hills?

I crack the airlock and let the breeze in. Great air quality on Thusp.

How hard it would be to build a house here? Would a house ruin the view?

Maybe. Not if you were in it, though.

Anyway.

I check my delivery in-tray. Transport a pillowcase from 16 main street to 19 main street in Robby-Tobby-Town on Wobzob-III ... pass! Maybe in my old age I'll do braindead missions like that.

Hmm.. here's an order for some toxic scorpions: "Please pick up some deadly-ass scorps from Grywel-8 and bring them to the Lake Pond University biochemistry department." Aah. Grywel-8 is infested with pirates and Road Lizards. A complete nightmare. There are deep deposits of hydrous clay which can't be penetrated by radar, so the caves under them are natural hideouts. Also lots of scorpions down there. But it's not like every possible thing will go wrong. You might even say there's no risk at all. Mission accepted.

So off I go, zooming along through Galaxy 5. It's a nice one, generally. I saw a supernova out here when I was a kid.

I turn on the coffee machine. Grywel-8 is a few hours away so I put on the latest episode of my favorite podcast, “It's Bullshit: Forever Countdown.”

“Hi every everyone and everybody else, welcome to It's Bullshit: Forever Countdown! Joining us today is today's guest ~ May Milton, mouse mayor of Mothyville, the smallest town on the smallest moon of Milinil-3. May, your number is 33,000,003,000,993! Good luck May!”

“Squeak! Squea-Squeak! Squea-Squea-Squeak! Squea-Squea-Squea-Squeak!”

This episode is gonna be great!

All too soon, I reach the planet. Now why did I come here?

Something to do with........... soap? No no

Cave diving for scorpions, that's it. I look around my ship for a bug catching net and realize I don't have any such thing.

Uhh hmmmm

I have some tupperware but none of the lids match the bottoms.

Would floss work? Spiders catch bugs basically with string, right?

I'd have to make some kind of web though hmm

How about the microwave? It's already dirty. It opens and closes.

That'll do.

The crust of this planet is full of sinkholes. Any of them should lead down to a suitable cave I think. I steer toward first one I see and plunge into the shadows.

I turn on my spotlight and reduce speed to a creeping 200 meters per second. I really don't want to get jammed in a crevice. I take a big swig of coffee, crack my knuckles, and pull my beanbag chair a little closer to the control board.

I almost hit a stalagmite. Yikes. I slow down even more. Was this a bad idea? It'd be awful if this tunnel narrows as it deepens and have to reverse out. I realize what a mess the coffee will make if I brake hard or roll over. I pour out my pot into a thermos and double-check the seal before I go any further, then I check it a third time to be super sure. I turn down my cabin lights so I can see the dim outside better.

Ah caves. They're half creepy, half cozy. I feel very sheltered and protected but also trapped, scarily.

Scanning for life signs.. oh yeah there's a scorpion nest right down there between those boulders.

ok

I open the hatch and lower my microwave by the power cord down into the nest. When it looks full I wiggle it until the door swings shut .

Perfect!

I haul it up laboriously and reseal the ship. Now it's time to head to Pond Lake University. But which of these tunnels did I come in from...

The left one, for sure. Going left. Ah no this one is full of pirates hahahaha. I'll just do a little u-turn ... ah, they've surrounded me. My ship shudders as they latch a gangway to my airlock.

A beeping alert on my monitor unnecessarily informs me that the hatch is being opened without the passcode. Five pirates barge in: a hamster, a turtle, a pelican, a hyena, and an armadillo. The pelican holds a gun in her beak and points it at my face. "Gluhdhshdhfjdjdjdbeb" she sputtered.

"What?"

The hamster scampers around my ankles and goes in and out of the cupboards.

"No one else on board!" he declares.

The hyena looks me up and down, hefting a wooden board studded with nails.

"Who are you supposed to be?" He demanded.

"Delivery Lemur (deliveremur)."

"Got any guns or treasure?"

"No I dont have anything i swear. Search my whole ship if you want, just don't open the microwave ... it's full of deadly scorpions."

"Heheh how stupid do you think I am?" Chuckled the hyena. He opened the microwave and the scorpions scurried out all over his body, murdering him by stinging him to death.

Screaming as loud as they could, the pirates fled, and I fled with them. We board their vessel and slam the door behind us. Swiftly I put a lampshade on my head and stand very still so they wont notice I'm there.

"That lemur's pretending to be a lamp!" shouted the armadillo.

The pelican started shooting but was blinded by an unshaded lightbulb, so every shot missed. I ducked and zigzagged into their cockpit and locked myself in.

"Get out here so we can kill ya!" wailed the turtle.

Bad situation!

I try to find the thruster controls so I can just fly away, but this is so different from my system. Experimenting with the buttons, I accidentally open the gangway and then I hear screaming because I let all the scorpions in. Gunshots followed.

There's incoming calls from the other pirate ships.

"Nigel, what's going on over there?"

“What loot did you get off the lemurship??”

“What the hell is happening?”

I better answer them.

“Nothing! Um! There was no lemur on board!” I say into the radio.

“Nigel? Why do you have a lemurish accent?”

“I'm practicing for a play!”

“What play?”

I don't know any plays. I have to create one.

“The Lemur and the Lemon,” I say. That better not already exist.

“Can I be in the play?”

Can he even act?

“Yes you can be Mr. Lemon.”

“Hot diggity! Let's start rehearsing! I'm coming aboard right now.”

Then all the other pirates phoned in.

“Let me be in it! I'll be a lime or something!”

“You son of a bitch I'll kill you, I wanna be the lime!"

“Wait, there's no lime, stay where you are!” I protest.

“Aw there's gonna be so many lines to remember! It's too much work!"

“We'll all stab you if you forget your lines!”

“How many pages is it?”

“3000!” That's enough right? How long is an average play? How big are the pages?

“Crikey! I'm nervous already! Can I have a non-speaking part?”

“I will crochet a beautiful Lemon costume tonight!”

“You can't crochet something so round, it'll never hold it's shape. You gotta quilt it onto some kind of frame!”

“I'm crocheting it, I'll add yellow stuffing, it will be perfect.”

“Needle-felt lemons would be so much easier!”

“I said quilt it you dumb bitch! You rotten fuck! Quilt it!”

They started firing torpedoes at each other. The detonations and crashing ships were vibrating the cavern. Huge chunks of stone were knocked loose, ricocheting like bouncy balls in the weak gravity. I should escape pretty soon.

As I try to think of a plan, I trip on my foot and lose balance. I catch myself on the steering wheel. The pirate ship banks sharply to the left and starts to spin so fast everything that's not tied down is hurled into the bulkhead by coriolis. Luckily – or by design – the cockpit is positioned in the rotational center of mass at the bow of the ship, so i'm dizzy but there's no pull on my body. I open the door and brace my legs for a huge jump. If I leap in a perfectly straight line, I can – and do – reach the airlock. The scorpions and the pirates are helpless against the clockwise inertia of the spinning ship, pressed flat against the walls. I make it through the tube back to my ship and flung shut the hatch.

I fire up my engine. The chassis of the pirate ship grappling mine has been so weakened by missiles and falling rocks that it cracks apart when I accelerate. The tethers fall away. I glide stealthily into the pitch-black tunnels.

Phew! What an ordeal. All in a day's work for a professional Delivery Lemur.

Man what did I come down here for for? Uhhhh Oh crap! There's coffee spilled everywhere. I thought the thermos latch was shut! I triple-checked that the straw thing was pushed down, but the stopper itself wasn't screwed on all the way. Damn it, what a mess. Now instead of drinking coffee I'm wiping it off the ceiling.

Darn End of log 0.3

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! Would you do something soft for your Fic „Passing Notes“? The soulmate au was just amazing and underrated! ❤️

"That can't be him."

"Nah, can't be," Druig murmured in agreement with Dane, also leaning around the corner to peek at the one person already seated at a table for six people. "Right?"

"Right," Dane mumbled, crouched down next to the younger man. He worried his lip as he stared at the man with his phone in his hands. "Can it?"

"Mm," Druig sighed, pulling back on his skepticism. "Kari did say he was supposedly a big guy."

"She hasn't met him either?" Dane asked, referring to his own testimony from Sersi also being third hand.

Druig shook his head. "T's been secretive about 'im, far as I can tell. This is the first the girls are meetin'im too. They said they've peeked at some pictures of 'em together, though."

"On Thena's phone?" Dane couldn't help but ask, his disbelief clear. Thena wasn't really a...picture taker. Druig just nodded. It was hard to imagine Thena as being so infatuated as to take couple photos with her new partner, soulmate or not.

"Guess we'll have to see for ourselves, mate," Druig tugged at his leather jacket before straightening up. He sniffed and twitched his nose, as if preparing to go intimidate the mountain of a man waiting for them and their respective partners.

"Right," Dane followed with only some reluctance. Perhaps the large gentleman was very nice. According to Thena, he was sweet, although Dane had some trouble reconciling how a person as frightening as Thena could find someone who had no terrifying qualities themselves.

He - Gil, apparently - looked up and offered them a sheepish kind of wave.

"How ye doin'?" Druig nodded as a form of greeting as they arrived at the table. "Druig--I'm Kari's."

"Dane," he leaned forward to offer his hand much more formally than Druig's greeting. "I'm Sersi's partner."

"It's great to meet you guys," Gil smiled widely, although his nervousness hadn't quite left him completely. "I've heard all about you."

"Good things, I hope," Dane chuckled in light conversation. He felt just as nervous as the man across from him, and he wasn't meeting anyone for the first time. "We've heard about you as well."

"As much as the girls can get, that is," Druig amended as he pulled out a chair and immediately slouched down lazily in it. "I'm surprised we're even meetin' you, to be honest."

Dane gave Druig a look.

But he just shrugged, hands still in his jacket pockets, "T's never really been one to mix her different circles."

But Gil wasn't intimidated by the vague and slightly defensive statement. He smiled, "yeah, I guess that's Thena. I was surprised when she suggested I join you guys, too."

Dane fidgeted with his napkin on his lap. "H-How's the cookbook business going? That's how you met, I hear."

Gil tilted his head, as if already catching some of Thena's habits for himself. He let a dreamy kind of smile warm him from the inside out. "Yep--walked right into her office and discovered the mark on my shoulder wasn't bullshit after all."

Druig raised a brow at him, but didn't interject.

"The book's almost ready to print, so she tells me," Gil continued, coming out of his shell a little more so long as Thena was the topic of discussion. "I tried to convince her to be in some of the photos but she said that would be silly."

Dane couldn't help but smile at the slight pout on Gil's face. It was such an innocent expression in contrast to the biceps bulging in his t-shirt sleeves as he crossed his arms.

"T acts like she's allergic to fuckin' photos," Druig snorted out a laugh. He gave Gil a curious look as he laid the bait, "at least with us."

"Well," Gil blushed faintly, toying with his phone in his hands as if itching to show them but holding himself back. "I've managed to sneak her into a few. At first they were just for me, but I managed to get her to agree let me use one or two on the restaurant's instagram."

Dane and Druig immediately pulled out their phones under the table to look.

"It's only--hey!"

Druig and Dane also rushed to stand as their girlfriends finally arrived together. Their greetings were brief and comfortable, although all four of them were watching from the side at the real point of intrigue.

"Hey, Handsome," Thena said ever so softly, probably only intended for Gil to hear.

He caught her hand en route to his, clasping it gently and bringing it up to his lips, "hey, Beautiful."

All four of her friends just stared.

"How was your day?" Gil asked still in a hushed tone, taking her purse from her and slipping her coat off her shoulders and over his arm.

"Mm, uneventful," she recounted factually, letting his hands trail over her without a hint of her usual resistance to any physical contact.

"Come get off your feet," Gil nudged her into the booth seat where he had been sitting. "I warmed it up for you."

"Ew," Druig commented liberally, only to get slapped on both arms by Sersi and Makkari on either side of him. "Oi!"

"Sorry we're late," Sersi fluffed her hair out of her scarf as she took a seat across from Dane and beside Thena.

Her fault, Makkari pointed out freely on the other side of the blonde and across from her own soulpair.

"Don't worry about it, we just got here," Gil replied blithely, not mentioning that he had been here long enough before Druig and Dane to actually secure a booth seat for all of them.

Thena's eyes rose to Gil's. He gave a positively tiny shrug, to which she replied with an even slighter shake of her head. Both messages got across regardless as she looked down at her menu. "What's good, here?"

"I've had the risotto before, which was lovely," Sersi leaned over, pointing out each item she and Dane had eaten before.

Makkari, from the other side of her, tapped the calamari, would you share some with me? Druig won't eat it.

Thena just nodded, to Kari's utter delight. She looked up at Gil, "hm?"

"Hm," he made the sound right back at her, almost as if it were an answer on its own. He leaned forward though, "you could try the mac and cheese."

The rest of the table traded looks (which they thought were subtle, and most definitely were not).

"I know, I know," Gil laughed, although Thena hadn't looked skeptical of his recommendation at all. "It seems simple, but I've had it here before, and it's surprisingly impressive for how it sounds."

"Go on," Thena nodded, happy to listen to Gil talk about his second favourite thing to talk about: food.

The rest of the table remained confused.

"I've worked with the guy in the kitchen now," Gil obliged, he and Thena staring at only each other across the table. "He makes the bechamel with smoked paprika instead of nutmeg, so it gets this smokey and really faintly sweet undertone. Then, while he makes the roux, he adds lobster stock instead of just milk, so it's actually pretty light for such a creamy dish. It's a little like marry-me chicken, in that sense."

"A little like what?" Dane blurted out.

Thena just nodded at the explanation, though. "That does sound lovely."

"I'm gonna get the balsamic chicken, so you can try some of that, too!"

Druig looked at Makkari, who shrugged. Thena wasn't really a sharer of food, either. One time he had tried to steal a a bite off her plate without asking and had nearly lost a finger for it.

"That's perfect," she continued to just smile at him as if they were the only ones present. "Thanks, Handsome."

The big guy blushed again.

Druig leaned back in his seat to look at Dane past Gil's back. "I don't think I can eat after th-oi!"

Thena made no apology for kicking Druig under the table.

[winged-paki]

Hi! I really like your fic, I admire the way you write and describe the emotions of the characters. If it's among your possibilities, I would like you to give me some tips for writing (dialogues, scenarios, emotions, narrative arc, etc) I would also like to start writing that way, as if you know the characters personally.

Aww, thank you so much anon! I'm not sure how much concrete advice I can give - I'm not a very experienced writer, especially not when it comes to longer stories like chartreuse - but I can try. Forgive my lack of brevity, I have never once been concise.

I usually write what I know. I write about emotions I've felt before and things that I've been through, and I write dialogue like how I and those around me naturally speak. I try to be an introspective/observant person so I can pick up on how people speak or describe their feelings, and how my own thoughts/emotions manifest in me. All of that makes writing conversations and emotions very clear to me.

I plan out my long stories in advance. Those plans change A LOT... but I think making them in the first place is necessary to keep your story goal-oriented rather than meandering. My plans have three elements: general plot movement, emotional/character arcs, and a scene-by-scene play-out of each chapter. The first and last elements change a lot, but the character arcs usually stay consistent, so I'm able to write those emotional journeys with the endgoal and major moments already in mind.

Perspective is a huge one for me. I think part of conveying a character's emotions is removing the barrier between the character and the audience, even when writing from third person. I try to minimize my use of phrases like "she felt" and "she thought" in emotional moments which kind of pull the audience out of the character's head, and focus on raw hyperbolic imagery, physical sensations, metaphors, and so on like a real-time thought process.

Here's a paragraph I like:

"Normally, they could compartmentalize. They could dissociate. They’d be shaky and skittish, sure, but at least they wouldn’t keep seeing—keep hearing—keep feeling those gutwrenching memories churn in a zoetrope before their eyes and under their skin. That fucking cosplay couple, who Shiver let their guard down around and trusted too much despite Frye’s quiet warning—the way they kissed like hellfire, the way the audience shrieked itself hoarse for them—the way Shiver had felt like their skin was melting, like their blood was boiling oil, the way Frye looked so desolate as she watched, helpless, a corpse walking—"

I tried to show Shiver's panic here through short choppy sentences and jumbled-up ideas and wild imagery. It doesn't quite feel like we're being told how Shiver feels so much as we're experiencing their thoughts ourselves. That, I think, is the difference between the audience knowing how the characters feel and the audience feeling that same shit too.

Regarding emotions, I love contradictions. I think that's the juiciest thing you can do to a character. Frye feeling torn between wanting to be honest to her fans and wanting to support her partner, Shiver feeling torn between loving their partner and fearing intimacy with her, Big Man loving his friends but growing fed up with their bullshit... all this cognitive dissonance can culminate in really explosive fights, dramatic conversations, arguments and makeups, and other fun stuff.

I like to ensure everyone expresses their emotions differently. Shiver compartmentalizes and dissociates. Frye gets anxious and sometimes belligerent. Big Man's anger is quiet and deadly. (At least until the most recent chapter, where Shiver and Frye's "anger styles" switch as a testament to how abnormal they've become.)

I think every scene/scenario should play a legit role in the plot and emotional development of the characters. I construct most scenarios based off how they move plot/characters forward, and also try to ensure I don't become overly repetitive in the situations I show. So that necessitates many settings, characters, behaviors, communication styles, etc.

A big part of how I write like I know the characters personally is spending a lot of time with them. I think about them a lot, even when I'm not writing/planning, and I flesh out their personalities, reactions to situations, interactions with others, etc. in my head. I especially like to focus on what makes my characters different. How are Shiver and Frye different from each other? How are the chartreuse chatroom girls different from each other? Stuff like that.

I'll edit this post if anything more occurs to me <3 sorry for the enormous post, thank you for the question, and I hope this is somewhat helpful to you!

[light-lanterne]

THE DOUBLE TAKE AT 100K ANGEL I FOrgot PeSOS hoLY SHIT I got so worried like NOT THAT THAT'S NOT A TON OF MONEY BUT LIKE from a usd perspective that was. Horrifying D: it is pesos right!? but also fuck that landlord but also obviously she's kind for being understanding and letting u stay there with the debt and everything but that's like really shitty blackmail-y type thing. like there's a reason you haven't paid it back u CAN'T like why NOW Christmas time she could've planned earlier !! Everyone is struggling esp this time of year that's such bullshit she wants to use you guys like this. You're not a piggy bank D:

Once I roll over into the new year (for tax reasons) I'll be starting up a third job for the sake of versatility (I get bored with my other ones and sometimes I don't make enough on them) which is a company I did work for waaay back in like 2016, and it seems they've had an uptick in content so I figure I'll try and jump back into that. The amount of content available varies depending on what country you're in https://participant-help.prolific.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360021985613-Who-can-participate-in-studies-on-Prolific

It's just prolific.com they pay through paypal. They're headquarter is in the UK so they pay with GBP and convert it, so might be weird conversion but I don't think it's too far off to USD conversion. It's not gonna make a miracle happen but it might help future you out.

Think the first few weeks you can only get money once a week, but then after the first month you can pull your money as much as you want but only once every 24 hours. It can take up to 22 days for pay from a survey to be complete, because it's up to the researcher to finish it, but after that 22 days prolific automatically finishes it if they don't get to it. So up to, at most, 22 days for a study payment. That's usually not the case, but it can happen.

You CAN have multiple accounts per household/IP, so your brother + mom could join too, they just don't allow multiple people per household to enter the same studies. There are the occasional study that asks late into the study if anyone else has done it, (which can mess with pay/cancel the survey and you'd have to fight them on it) but that's rare, and usually before you pick it up it'll state if only one per household can do the survey, and I think it'll make the other people ineligible to do it if you pick it up. Not super sure how that all works because I've been the only one using it in my house, but it's there as an option, so you know.

It's changed a lot over the years so I can't vouch for it right now, but it IS a company I worked for and got paid for. Looks like it's heavy into ai now. It's a company that does research surveys (which means you really don't want to lie or change your answers from survey to survey about identifying questions and stuff because that effects the results but also could get you fired)

It used to just be academic studies, now it's both "AI Training & Evaluation" AND "Academic Researchers" so. Not sure if you can pick and choose what you work on. I would think not or at least it would really lessen your options and available studies.

I already work training AI at my other job so. It is what it is at this point :| I don't like AI but it's something I can do + it pays me, so. I've had to settle my feelings about it for now. The studies used to be pretty fun though, so it might be worth checking out if you or your brother haven't looked into it yet.

Sorry for the novel. GL Angel! Be sure to pimp out your tip jar whenever you can !! I really dunno what could be done to get IMMEDIATE money short of like. pawning stuff/yard sales/lemonade stands??? I literally don't know what people do to get quick money. fiverr I guess ? But I don't even know how fast they pay you :(

hello ! thank you so much for the message ~! it really means a lot ;-; <3

yeah, 100k pesos, which is a little over 5.8k dollars x.x i should've specified that but i forgot, sorry. it's still a lot and we're nowhere near being able to pay her off, so she does get to hold that over our heads whenever the topic of paying in time comes up or whenever she wants us to pay off a little bit of the debt (like now) so she can do what she wants x.x it sucks and it's super stressful but it is what it is and i only wish she would've told us a couple weeks ago so we had more time to prepare :(

oh well, moving on,,, thank you for sending this thingy !! i think my brother was on prolific quite a few years ago so it's probably changed a lot (i also don't like the ai stuff,,,), but i will definitely be using it and hopefully it should help out a little in the future. thank you immensely for sharing this and your experience <3

and well,,, idk what we're going to do but we'll figure something out (hopefully) !! if things get really bad i do have a guitar i can't use anymore because of my wrists so i could take it to a pawn shop and it might help (it was a gift from my dad, but whatever it takes ig),,, so yeah, worse comes to worst we have a couple random options we could take so i guess we'll have to wait and see >.<

anyway, thank you again for the lovely message !! it really lifted my mood up quite a bit and gave me a bit of hope so thank you thank you thank you ~!! please take care and have a lovely day / night, okei ?

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Random thoughts on Vice Versa ep 12

Ha! I knew straight away when Talay woke up that the preview had been playing us and that it would end up being that Puen was going to bullshit Talay. I do wish we could have gotten a proper repeat of the scenario Puen described in ep 9 but this subversion kind of works too… It's nice that they're comfortable with each other to be able to joke around. But I don't get the shying away from kisses. Yes, morning breath and whatever...but Talay pulls away too much. Surely they're at the stage where they want to jump each other's bones not be shy about kissing. Anyway, the kisses over the breakfast prep were cute.

I loved the writing on the palm - another callback to their thing of communicating in different ways. It was cute.

But I'm CACKLING!!! Talay's boss is a traveller too and there's an association in their universe (I mean, there had to be but still...) and I loved how that actor played the 16-year-old within him - especially the Phi/Nong thing. (I've seen some people commenting on how it must suck for him to wake up in a 40-year-old's body...but I also think about the 40-year-old waking up as a 16 year old - having to do exams again, study at uni, find a job, finish puberty...I WOULD NOT want to go through that again 😂).

I was disappointed that we never really got confirmation that both Talay and Puen dreamed - that they were actually each other's portkeys...and I wish we had.

Before ep 11, I had wanted a scene in a cafe with Talay eating a pink dessert...well it was a restaurant and a pink drink, so close enough! And, damn! Puen made the folder!! How did he get the exact same design? He obviously has a good memory. But it's all the merch from the gmmtv shop, isn't it...

Now then, the live-streamed interview with O was uncomfortable and Jimmy played that so well in his micro-expressions - I wonder how close to home it is for these actors. And Gyo saying it as it should be: "Whoever Puen is seeing is his personal business". Yes! But it felt like too much drama for the last ep…I was definitely nervous by this point how it was going to be dealt with.

OMG I wanted to punch Puen's manager - he shouldn't have that kind of power. Puen is NOT a child. How dare he just confiscate his phone. I appreciate that actors are bound by contracts but this is taking it too far. He couldn't be more unsupportive of Puen if he tried. So, Puen is supposed to be an unhappy loner so long as he has a career that the industry can leech off him? smh. Now I know why this picture was there - it represents how we all feel about this jackass:

Anyway, I really liked Talay's worry for Puen - "Will he be okay?" - rather than what has been overdone so often before, the 'oh noes he must have stopped loving me' self-depreciation when the other person goes awol, even if it's due to outside forces (which this show did last ep but at least they've redeemed themselves here).

And I was so glad I was right with Tup and Tou being different versions of Up and Aou. I was CACKLING AGAIN! And I liked how they reversed the characters' energies a bit with Tup being the quiet one and Tou the loud one. It also gave us a third character from Neo. This man. istg.

YAS to supportive female friends!!! That's it, that's all. I love Gyo.

I find it so odd in bls when couples cook and then only have one place setting. But OMFG Jimmy in glasses!! I didn't know how much I needed it until I got it...and I now I need it again in the future.

Okay, no, yeah, I love the hourglass symbolism and parallel. I buy it. It's wonderful, I love how Puen made one where the sand stays because he wants time to stop. It's FABULOUS but I just wish they could have introduced the idea earlier in the series. The same for the moon reference - I don't really remember them 'looking at the moon and thinking of the other person'. The show could have made this moment even more poignant had they strengthen this.

And I mean the kiss is great and all at the end there but I needed to know what happened to Tun and Tess…a lot more than just in the dream sequence. This was definitely disappointing and I hope we'll get some kind of special episode - even if it's all different actors playing out Tun and Tess' life as though they had written the screenplay for it from their life-story. I'm salty.

I'll give the show points for giving us Aou and Fuse crumbs, though, as well as Phuwadol - although I don't see why Talay wouldn't have asked that person if they were the Dol he knew from the alternate universe. smh. BUT Fuse's first t-shirt was spot on again, "Believe in Yourself" when he's in acting classes, and I just wish I could find out what's on his second t-shirt 😭

The ending was sweet, lovely to see what the future can hold for them. And what a location!...to find that house with that huge pink trumpet tree…but maybe they're really common in Thailand… It's such a shame we didn't get to see it in bloom though...how amazing would this have been in Talay's garden?!

Aaaaand I'll only mention the Lays add since we came full-circle from ep 1 with the marriage reference - with Thailand, GMMTV, and Lays (bless them) flexing their 'we want marriage equality' muscles. 👏🏼

[mallowstep]

I'll toss you a character suggestion to feed the brain bugs today just because you've got me wondering: how was Tawnypelt's testimony?

hello thank u brain bugs r hungry

cw: sexual assault, child abuse, cults

no idea what's coming up but yeah.

okay so to recap, tigerstar is on trial for:

...something wrt organized crime?

uhh something to do with murder (stonefur)

forging a death certificate (also stonefur; there's more but i'm going to leave it at these two)

multiple counts of third degree sexual assault (hell if i know how "unknown number of times" is handled by the courts but frankly it's not super relevant)

...whatever bullshit he pulled with mudfur

child physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and child medical neglect

violating his custody agreement with goldenflower (okay that's not criminal court i don't think but shhhhhh)

and probably loads more

so. while feathertail and mistyfoot are Important, they're not actually the only parts of this case that are going after. not sure why i went through all that considering tawnypelt is going to focus on herself, feathertail, and mistyfoot.

right. okay. so she's going to...y'know i'll have better luck if i just write things up. let's try that fancy chat feature, shall we?

Prosecution: Can you state your name for the record?

Tawnypelt: Tawnypelt, daughter of...uh...sorry, do you want...

P: You can explain.

TP: Tawnypelt, daughter of Tigerstar, but we're filing to change it to Goldenflower.

P: Could you say a little about why you're here?

TP: Yeah. Um. I left...I was living with my father for -- the past few years.

P: For how long?

TP: Since I was nine.

P: And how old are you now?

TP: Fifteen.

P: Thank you. Can you explain how you're connected to this case?

Defence: Objection, asked and answered.

Judge: Sustained.

P: Did you witness child maltreatment while you were living with Tigerstar?

TP: Yes.

P: What's the first instance you remember?

TP: When I was nine or ten, um...Featherpaw and Mistyfoot were...okay, so...Sorry.

P: Take your time.

TP: Right. I was nine or ten, and Featherpaw and I had been sharing a bedroom. And then, without warning, Featherpaw's bed and things and all were gone. So I asked Father, and he said that he moved her, because he didn't want her to...corrupt me. Um. I found out a day or two later that he meant she was supposed to stay in...it used to be a storage closet.

P: How big was the room?

TP: I'm not sure. It's probably on the house blueprints...

P: You can estimate.

TP: I never went in, when they were there. I think it had...it was big enough for maybe a mattress, a dresser? Not much space.

P: Was this move permanent?

D: Objection, leading.

J: Overruled. You can answer the question, Tawnypelt.

TP: Yeah, it was.

P: How often would you say you witnessed any kind of child mistreatment?

TP: Every day. There were...Father had high standards. So if we didn't finish our schoolwork, y'know, we'd be punished.

P: Punished how?

TP: It depended. He'd do...I was usually given extra chores, at least when I was younger. He got more frustrated with other things. Or other kids. When...Featherpaw was, he targeted her a lot. He jumped straight to corporal punishment with her.

P: Can you expand?

and i'm going to take a breath here because i've written bits of feathertail's testimony and we know this part pretty well. after they've established a baseline, the questions turn to key incidents.

(oh, and because i'm not sure how much i've mentioned it, but they do also discuss sunday punishment circle. that's...not what it was called they just called it a confession, but y'know. that's what it was.

it's one of the more fucked up parts of this. um. like not all of the really fucked up stuff, but a lot of it. a tawnypelt snippet and a mistyfoot snippet from unpublished pieces. (i'd include a feathertail snippet but frankly this is the least of what she goes through, so it doesn't tend to come up.)

Sunday afternoons, all of them gathered in the Great Room. She would listen to Tigerstar ramble about sin and cleansing; she would watch as adults kneeled before him and asked for his forgiveness.

(canvas)

"It's alright," he says, softly. He uses his hand to force her to hide her face against him. "See?" he asks, louder. "They start testing you -- remind them why you're in charge, and then they'll be easy to manage." He has one arm wrapped over her knees, the other one pressing her head against his chest. "Now, who's ready to confess?"

(ephesians 5:22)

(also if you happen to recognize that bible verse, points to you.)

so yes, very fucked up. those Particular snippets were actually me cutting before or after the more bad part of it.)

(also covered is that tigerstar often forced tawnypelt to "discipline" featherpaw, for which i provide this:

"The trick to children," Tigerstar says, "is to make them listen." He takes a fistful of Featherpaw's hair. "See? Now I have her attention." Tigerstar throws Featherpaw back, and she stumbles. "Alright," he says, "now you try."

(canvas)

there's more to this too, ofc.)

anyway. tawnypelt giving her most memorable incident wrt feathertail isn't super helpful, because it's "that time tigerstar burned featherpaw but with actual fire this time," which was dramatic but doesn't really match any of feathertail's highest moments because all things considered it's pretty low.

plus like, she got to see mudfur after that. well. "got to." she retains mixed feelings on the matter. but like. she was solidly decided that there were way worse things going on.

her most memorable incident with regard to herself is probably a particularly brutal hot sauce incident from when she was fairly young. maybe ten. like it's a recurring nightmare.

and she goes through it, yeah. children are real sensitive to that shit, and this is memorable because he's discovered tabasco habanero. it's. um. it doesn't go well for her.

compounded by the fact that when she throws up, she is further punished.

so. after that, they end up transitioning to discussing mistyfoot, and i must include the following additional cw for the rest of the post:

cw: exposing child to inappropriate sexual situations; direct discussion of rape

right. um. tawnypaw is not...intentionally exposed, but tigerstar has very little regard for what is and is not appropriate around children, and tawnypaw is no exception.

i think as of now, the worst published example of this is probably the scene in (bed sheets) with mudfur. it's too long to copy and paste here, i think, so i'll select a paragraph...

She could adjust the blanket, cover some amount of herself, but it seems pointless. Tigerstar is profusely affectionate, his hands drifting across her. Usually, they rest on her stomach.

but this is implied in that hair brushing scene, in this line:

Mistyfoot doesn’t know why they bother knocking. She’s pretty sure this room isn’t in use unless she’s in it, and Tigerstar has never told someone not to come in. She could be naked on the bed and he’d say the same thing.

y'know. tigerstar has 0 qualms about raping mistyfoot in public. women deserve privacy and dignity unless they're mistyfoot. and he's not going to check if tawnypaw is around.

he's also married to mistyfoot, and again, is very, very abusive. i mean i don't think i have to explain that but at the same time, like, y'know he carries her across the house completely naked after spending roughly ten years drilling the concept of modesty so hard that she felt uncomfortable around leopardstar (someone she's known her whole life) when she was wearing shorts and a tank top.

so he circles this back to tawnypelt...y'know he's not even...he's implying the implication of "your future husband -- soon to be husband -- might treat you like this and that's normal and fine."

y'know a combo of "this is how i treat my wife," "you are going to be someone's wife soon," etc., that basically adds up to "if your husband (chosen by me, tigerstar) wants to strip you naked in a public place and fuck you, you better just fucking do it."

(it's not even that he would be right to do that -- it's certainly a major transgression on the part of a fictional husband. but. the expectation is not that tawnypelt is the one to stop it.)

now a lot of this would be speculation, so it's a pretty carefully thought through examination, but it's a really strong piece of evidence that no one else can really provide wrt this. the closest anyone else can get is feathertail recounting tigerstar mocking her for...basically for not going through puberty? y'know because her body doesn't have the resouces for that?

and like mistyfoot and feathertail, tawnypelt does this all as tigerstar is watching her.

"He told me he was in the process of chosing my husband," Tawnypelt says. She's ignoring him. Not looking at him. "He said complete obedience was required of a wife. Wouldn't it be so much easier if Mistyfoot just stopped fighting back? If she would just submit. You better learn to submit, Tawnypaw.

"Do you want me to repeat the question?" the prosecution asks, and Tawnypelt says yes. She can see the slight shake in tigerstar's eyes as he looks to her, and she has to turn away.

"Can we take a break?"

It's the first she's asked for, but she thinks if she has to sit with his eyes pouring into her any longer, she might shut down completely.

alright it's my get ready for sleep time but i hope you enjoyed.

[babygirlkiki1016]

Caught

The Lynnwood Inn, which was our next stop. However after the Wendigo situation, Deans been treating me differently, he's been flirting with me. There's something up with him, I thought, was it because of the night in motel? Or the kiss after the Wendigo mission. I look over at him to notice there is a mostly empty plate in front of Dean, who is circling obituaries in a newspaper. An attractive waitress, whose nametag says Wendy, approaches.

"Can I get you anything else?" She asks mostly focusing on Dean. Dean looks up, sees the waitress then goes back to the news paper as Sam comes over and sits down.

"Just the check, please." Sam orders.

"Okay." And Wendy walks away.

"You know Dean I'm surprised you weren't flirting with the waitress." I say, Dean points to Wendy walking away, who's wearing short shorts.

"Well you see her, she's not my type."

"Dude every girl is your type." Sam laughs.

"Not every girl, I highly doubt-" I point to myself "-girls like me are his type."

"If you believe that then your wrong darling." He winks at me. "And the two of you are talking like I'm not here." Sam looks at me, then at Dean who hands him the newspaper.

"Here, take a look at this, I think I got one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Last week Sophie Carlton, eighteen, walks into the lake, doesn't walk out. Authorities dragged the water, nothing. Sophie Carlton is the third Lake Manitoc drowning this year. None of the other bodies were found either. They had a funeral two days ago."

"A funeral?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, it's weird, they buried an empty coffin. For, uh, closure or whatever."

"How is that closure? If the coffins empty then the body is still out there. Doesn't sound like closure at all."

"You have a point there Y/n, also your hair is green." Sam points out, I groan and pull up my hoodie to hide my hair while Sam takes more notes. "Back to the topic. People don't just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them."

"Something you want to say to me?" Dean growled.

"The trail for Dad. It's getting colder every day."

"Sam's right Dean, it seems like whereever we go he was never there-" Dean silences me with his the wave of his hand.

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Something. Anything." Sam huffs.

"You know what? I'm sick of this attitude. You don't think I wanna find Dad as much as you do?"

"Yeah, I know you do, it's just-"

"I'm the one that's been with him every single day for the past two years, while you've been off to college going to pep rallies. We will find Dad, but until then, we're gonna kill everything bad between here and there. Okay?" Sam rolls his eyes, making Dean walk out of the Inn, shaking his head in disappointment. We left the Inn a few hours later, and the three of us made our way to our next case. Sam was in the back sleeping, while me and Dean were in the front.

"....So...." Dean suddenly says, desperately trying to strike up a conversation. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"....Talk about what?"

"The kiss."

"....What kiss?"

"The one you gave me a few days ago, after we saved Haley and her brothers. I know you wanted to kiss me but you decided against it." My heart started pounding, what was there to talk about? I had a bad feeling of how this was gonna go.

"Dean-"

"Y/n I....I want to ok? Your....You make me feel...." He glances over at me, then travels down to my hand that's resting in my thigh. He slowly grabs it, and squeezes like I'll disappear.

"I make you feel what?...." I say getting his attention again.

".....I don't know, but when I'm around you I have this sick like feeling-a good sick like feeling. I've never felt this way before...but sadly we can't your still a kid and if we were to, ya know."

"I understand."

"I will promise you this, when you turn eighteen, I'm gonna give you a kiss you'll never forget. And one after that, and one after that, and one after that." He smiles but doesn't let go of my hand, and neither do I. We sat there for hours, just enjoying each other's company, hoping that this moment would never end.

~

When we got to Wisconsin, we make our way up to the house that belong to the Carlton's. Dean knocks on the door and a man opens it.

"Will Carlton?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, that's right."

"I'm Agent Ford, this is Agent Hamill and Samson. We're with the US Wildlife Service." Dean holds up an ID, Will leads us around the house and I notice that a man is sitting on a bench on the dock.

"She was about a hundred yards out." Will says. "That's where she got dragged down."

"And you're sure she didn't just drown?" Dean asks.

"Yeah. She was a varsity swimmer. She practically grew up in that lake. She was as safe out there as she was in her own bathtub.

"So no splashing? No signs of distress?" I questioned.

"No, that's what I'm telling you."

"So she was just pulled down but never came back up? Like kind of a shark attack?"

"Yea..."

"Did you see any shadows in the water? Maybe some dark shape breach the surface?" Sam wondered.

"No. Again, she was really far out there."

"You ever see any strange tracks by the shoreline?" Dean says.

"No, never. Why? Why, what do you think's out there?"

"We'll let you know as soon as we do." As Dean heads back to the car Sam catches up to me.

"So, you and my brother huh?" He smirks.

"We're not together."

"Yet, that's right I heard your conversation." My cheeks begin to burn, and my hair turns purple.

"So you were pretend sleeping?" You could hear the fear in my voice.

"No I tried to sleep, I just happened to overhear how Dean is gonna give you a kiss you'll never forget, and one after that, and one after that-"

"Shut up!" I push him lightly with my cheeks burning, he laughs as I walk even faster. We get back in the car, the next stop was the police station. It was silent, but I could feel Sam looking between me and Dean from the back seat.

"Can I help you Sam?" Dean demanded.

"Nope." Sam said with a smile, he was thinking about me and Dean.

"You keep looking at me then at Y/n."

"He heard our conversation Dean." I confess, Dean smirks and looks back at his brother.

"Sam you sly dog!"

"What, it's not my fault you two are loud talkers."

"Oh that's bullshit! You didn't sleep cause you wanted to know if something was gonna happen!" I laugh.

"Well something did...cause when it's your birthday-"

"Shut up Sam!" Me and Dean yelled in chorus.

~

The station was small, but somewhat cozy. I looked around as Dean introduced us as the Wildlife Service.

"Now, I'm sorry, but why does the Wildlife Service care about an accidental drowning?" Jake Devin's, the sheriff asked.

"You sure it's accidental? Will Carlton saw something grab his sister." Sam replies and we follow the sheriff into his office.

"Like what?" Jake motions to chairs in front of his desk. "Here, sit, please. There are no indigenous carnivores in that lake." Sam sits down while Dean offers the other seat to me. I smile at the gesture and kiss his cheek before I sat down. "There's nothing even big enough to pull down a person, unless it was the Loch Ness Monster."

"Yeah." Dean chuckles and Sam glances over at him.

"Will Carlton was traumatized, and sometimes the mind plays tricks." Jake sits down and continues. "We dragged that entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just to be sure, and there was nothing down there."

"That's weird, though, I mean, that's, that's the third missing body this year." I state. "There had to be something there, Sophie Carlton was a varsity swimmer. There's no way she drowned...."

"I know. These are people from my town. These are people I care about." The sheriff admits, he seemed sad, but yet had a somewhat guilty look on his face. "Anyway..." Jake sighs. "All this...it won't be a problem much longer."

"What do you mean?" Sam leaned forward, obviously interested.

"Well, the dam, of course."

"Of course, the dam. It's, uh, it sprung a leak." Dean says, trying to make the conversation less awkward.

"It's falling apart, and the feds won't give us the grant to repair it, so they've opened the spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that."

"Exactly, sorry it's been a long week." I apologize as a young woman, taps on the door.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" She asks, me and Sam stand up knowing that it's time to probably leave. "I can come back later."

"Gentlemen, this is my daughter." The Sherrif says and I hold out my hand to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Y/n." We shake hands.

"Andrea Barr, Hi." She greets.

"They're from the Wildlife Service. About the lake." Andrea's father explains.

"Oh." Then a boy, walks in around Andrea. "Oh, hey there. What's your name?" I ask, with a smile but he walks away without speaking and Andrea follows, we do the same.

"His name is Lucas." She says and gives him some crayons out of a box.

"Is he okay?" Sam worried.

"My grandson's been through a lot, we all have." Jake stands and goes to the office door. "Well, if there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know."

"Thanks. You know, now that you mentioned it, could you point us in the direction of a reasonably priced motel?" Dean asks.

"Lakefront Motel. Go around the corner. It's about two blocks south." Andrea comments. "I'm headed that way anyway. So I'll walk you there."

"I think we can find it just fine." I say, Sam looks at me and smirks, he knew. I was jealous, she nods with a frown on her face and turns to Jake. "I'll be back to pick up Lucas at three." She turns to Lucas. "We'll go to the park, okay, sweetie?" Andrea kisses him on the head.

"Thanks again." Sam smiles and we walk out the door, Andrea walks outside with us.

"So, cute kid." Dean comments.

"Thanks." She says, then points south. "Like I said, two blocks, that way."

"Thanks." Sam says and she smiles at Dean. "Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find you a good pick up line." And with that she leaves while calling back over her shoulder. "Enjoy your stay!" Sam slaps Deans shoulder "'Kids are the best'? You don't even like kids."

"I love kids." Dean looks at Sam like he's offended.

"Name three children that you even know."

"Y/n?" He wraps an arm around me, with a smile on his face thinking he won this argument.

"She's older than Lucas, she's not a little kid anymore."

"She acts like a kid."

"Seriously?! I'm right here!" I rant, Dean rubs my head but I push his hand away playfully.

"See? Your pouting, and your short to." He chuckles. "Anyways let's get to that motel, we have work to do."

~

As soon as we got our room I grabbed some clothes and instantly claimed the bathroom. Sam went to get some food for us so it was just me and Dean. It had been a while since I felt hot water run down my back, and damn did it feel good. Sadly I had to get out and go back to reality, when I exited the bathroom Dean was watching Dr. Sexy. I put my stuff down and settled next to Dean.

"So Dr. Sexy?" I asked, I could hear him hum in response. "Well that doctor is pretty hot."

"The girl or guy?"

"Both are good looking."

"Hm." I look over at him, he was staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing...." He turns off the TV and sits on the edge of the bed, tiredly rubbing his face. I moved to his side, worried.

"Dean are you ok?" I put my hand on his, caressing it gently. He looks back at me, those eyes we're filled with...lust. He didn't take his eyes off of me. I scooted closer to him, making him blush at how close we were but he stayed focused on me.

"You know what?" He mutters.

"Hm?" I wondered, as he slowly got closer to me. "Screw it." Not even five seconds later he grabbed my waist and pulled me against him, smashing his lips against mine. I instantly kissed back, my hands traveling through his hair as he pulled me onto his lap. His rough lips went together with mine like a puzzle, he was kissing me with passion. This was it...our moment, the moment I had been waiting for. I tugged at his shirt, which he immediately took off, then his lips merged with mine once more. I could feel him smile, was he happy? Didn't he want to wait since I was to young? Who cares, who the hell cares right now, I focused my thoughts back on Dean who flipped us over. Now he was on top of me, kissing down my neck, making me moan.

"Dean?" Sam called out, making us both stop and slowly look over at him. He was holding our chinese food with a surprised look upon his features.

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

[cranial-bakery]

If you liked “wE dOn’T kNOw wHen wE’Ll gEt iT” then you’ll LOVE its sequel: “wE NEVER kNOw wHen wE’Ll gEt iT”

Thursday:

Me: *calls Walmart Pharmacy to order RX that I need in order to function and need to fill by Saturday*

Person 1: “Sorry, we’re out, if we order today then we’ll get it by Tuesday!”

Tuesday:

Me: *calls Walmart to check up on prescription because I haven’t gotten an email for it*

Pharmacy Phone Tree/Menu: *is as broken as always (seriously, it is impossible to put your RX number in and no amount or combination of octothorpes/pounds and/or asterisks have helped) and ultimately tries to connect me to a person. It takes about three tries/several minutes before someone FINALLY picks up*

Person 2: “Hello,” *insert rest of greeting here* “How may I help you?”

Me: *explains why I’m calling*

Person 2: *takes a couple minutes or so to look up my info and stuff*

Person 2: “Sorry, we don’t have it.”

Me: “What? I was told it’d arrive on Tuesday.”

Person 2: “We don’t know when we’ll get it…”

Me: “But I was told it would arrive on Tuesday.”

Person 2: “Sorry, we never can give an exact arrival date for ‘nArCoTiCs’ because of—” *insert some stuff about it having to go through something and some other stuff I didn’t quite hear because its a telephone and telephones are always cacophonic, voice warping abominations bred from chalkboard scratching and amplified mumbling*

Me: “Oh…” (((IT’S A PSYCHOSTIMULANT, NOT A NARCOTIC, YOU TWIT))) “But I needed it like three days ago…” (((YOU RUSTY HINGE)))

Person 2: Sorry, we never know when we’ll get it.

Me:” … ok… thank you…” (((YOU CROOKED COG)))

*call ends*