#This is my favourite flavour of sskk really. Inescapably tragic
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OP???????????????
I’m not over it, actually. So. Don’t think about how Atsushi keeps losing people. Don’t think about how many times someone’s slipped right through his fingers no matter how hard he tries. Don’t think about how readily he’d sacrifice everything to bring them back.
Don’t think about how he thought Akutagawa returned twice now.
Don’t think about Atsushi having to deal with watching Akutagawa die to protect him. Don’t think about Atsushi recognizing Akutagawa with Aya, and how for a second there must have been such overwhelming relief, don’t think about Atsushi begging Akutagawa to come back to himself with a smile on his face.
Don’t think about Atsushi, sobbing and alone, being rescued a second time from certain death as Akutagawa strides forward, confident and powerful, only to realize the man protecting him is a haunted house.
Don’t think about how Akutagawa keeps coming back, back to him, to Atsushi, don’t think about how much worse it must be to have the ability to reach out and touch, only to realize all over again the man staring back at him is a stranger wearing Akutagawa’s face.
#What the hell???? Oh I'm so so unwell#This is amazing this is terrible this is going to feed me for the next six months#You had me at the “Don’t think about how he thought Akutagawa returned twice now”!!!! But God everything else is so.#It's like a special torture thought and conceived specifically for Atsushi.#Always thinking he came back and falling for him again only to realize it's just smoke.#And yet can't help but fall for it again for the same reason why Orpheous turns every time because he loves him!!!!#He loves him so much hhhhhhhhh#Honestly it gets SO much better (worse) if you take it in the picture that Akutagawa loved Atsushi (he did)#but Atsushi didn't love Akutagawe until he saw him die. The regret of everything it could have been.#The knowledge that it was him who fucked up because he always does#Aaaaahhhhhh#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#bsd#bsd ch 119#bsd spoilers#c.q.#This is my favourite flavour of sskk really. Inescapably tragic
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