#This got a big long but the BS are a very engaging bunch and I love them and their chaos so much

[david-talks-sw]

any new Star Wars essays in the making, or are you moving on?

I don't know, honestly.

Part of it is "life gets in the way," I'm working a lot and so whatever time I have left is spent just messing around or meeting with my loved ones.

I've got a bunch of stuff in my drafts. I don't mind sharing it here, most recent to oldest:

Sort of a joke post of me pointing out how stressful being George Lucas' producer must've been, like this guy really DIDN'T WANT to write his fucking scripts, did he? Poor Rick McCallum. Abandoned because who gives a crap.

'Ask' reply on how EU-fueled fandom perception of the Jedi was flipped by the prequels.

'Ask' reply about the themes in Ahsoka and why the show doesn't know what it's about. Problem is, I go about it starting from the basics, so nobody's gonna sit through reading a tematic breakdown of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, The Batman and the original six Star Wars films before I even get to the show at hand.

"Part II" post about what Ahsoka, Rebels and TCW get right about lightsaber duels, which the Prequels never did.

Quote collection & analysis on just how complex the Prequels were meant to be (in the late 80s, Lucas intimated that the Sequels were the story that was supposed to have gray morality, not the Prequels)

Quote collection on how the themes and principles of Star Wars align with Lucas' own opinions and philosophies.

Quote collection on Lucas defining Anakin's flaws.

Quote collection on Lucas talking about the fact that we need to be more proactive, which aligns with what Lumi points out sometimes about the Jedi: they should've been more politically engaged because we all should be.

Why I approach Lucas as "word of god".

Personal life/joke-y post dating from the time of the WGA strike about how Jack Black's School of Rock lyrics "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due!" applied to me. Abandoned because I didn't wanna bum everyone out.

Correcting the notion that Dark Times-era Jedi such as Kanan or Ezra or Ahsoka represent what Jedi were supposed to be.

A comprehensive end-all outlook on how Anakin's flaws all tie together. I've written this one twice and I don't know how to differentiate it from my other posts.

A secret "Part 3" to my TLJ Luke post, in which I point out that RJ's being too "indie", while being a strong point for a big chunk of the film, hampers the film's ability to make Luke feel as badass as he does on paper. I want to illustrate a storyboard for this one, but that takes time.

The evolution of Star Wars' approach to transmedia.

Debunking Star Wars myths: a (very) comprehensive outlook on children in the Jedi Order.

Problem is that only like 2/3rds of these are fully-written... and I still need to find the relevant clips, turn them into GIFs, etc etc.

There's many other interesting Asks in my inbox btw. But I'm already behind on all these, so I haven't begun to touch them.

Then there's the drawings.

I wanna draw a comic of the meeting between Yoda and Dooku in Dark Rendezvous. I wanna finish the comic fight between Maul and Ben. I wanna draw Mace, Shaak Ti, I've got a Luminara fan-art that was supposed to be ready for Jedi June 2022 and an Anakin drawing that looks weird. No time, nor am I skilled enough. (Like, I trace, that's what I do, it's not a secret I've said so before... but it takes me a long while to do so. I'm not fast at drawing, let alone coloring.) I could commission some of these, but there are obvious obstacles there.

There's fun tidbits I've discovered here and there but nobody will care about them and I usually try to not drown my blog with bs posts.

Then there's the bigger problem.

All the things I've listed above? I'm not 100% motivated to finish. But a lot of the new stuff I wanna write about is hella negative.

I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say about Ahsoka. But it wasn't all good. It was mostly me bitching, be it about the show or the fandom's reactions to it.

I've also got more stuff to say about Filoni's take on Star Wars, but I've talked about why it's inaccurate like 8 times already, and I don't actually dislike the guy, like there's plenty of things he knows and does that I think are awesome but also people won't stop putting him and his takes on a pedestal and--

oh shit, there's Acolyte too, I forgot about that, gray morality galore, here we come. But here too, like... I've talked a couple of times about why this entire gray morality thing is actually just the gen X-ers trying to make the prequels "cool" and "complex". but I've never explored properly, with quotes and research and shit. but i've talked about it so many times that at this point it'd end up like the Filoni rants, redundant. "we get it already." as if this show didn't have haters lined round the block for absolutely sexist reasons.

Don't get me started on the mountain of lies and/or idiocy that is the YouTuber Star Wars Theory.

And yet he said one thing a few months ago which struck a chord within me and it's the fact that Andor is awesome, excels on all levels because it's treated seriously, like a proper show, not a Disney Plus one... why wasn't Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why wasn't Book of Boba Fett? And I've already established multiple times that I enjoyed Kenobi (yes, including the Reva parts) and I've established that I know what they were going for in Fett and I've established that this is mainly a "Disney Plus didn't know how to structure a fucking show pre-WGA strike" issue more than anything else... but when I think about how these could've been treated instead? When I look at the characterizations and emotional stakes of like Fargo Season 5? It's infuriating. Because it's not bad (talking about Kenobi, BOBF is awful)... but it could've been EXCELLENT and instead it was just "okay" to "good".

I just miss live action lightsaber duels, man. Like, good ones.

and i dunno. maybe I should just let it rip on all this. "go off, king!"

but I think there's so much negativity re: Star Wars that adding my thoughts on these subjects, no matter how structured and reason, will just blend into a wave of needless, un-constructive hate.

maybe I should finish the writings in the drafts and just post them with no gifs, maybe just still images?

but doing any of that feels like a step back.

So that's where I'm at right now.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Nana Daiba Propaganda Post

Okay this got so very long so tl;dr: Local girl decides to engage on overprotective bs for an entire franchise, and goes from causing a bunch of time loops in the base series, trying to destroy a whole play in the game and both beating all of her friends in combat to lead them to their symbolic deaths so that they can symbolically be reborn also trying to get her roommate to be symbolically dead without that second step. Also she has two swords so she's automatically a girlboss.

Okay so this is going entirely off my knowledge of the anime, mobile game/ReLIVE and movie. If she did anything silly in the stageplays I do not know about it. So Nana is a funny little girl with so many issues. If you like anime girls in time loops, you'll love her, because she chose her time loop herself. She has abandonment issues like no other and she's so scared of her friends all growing up and going their separate ways that she decided to keep winning the auditions (/a series of funny little stage battles. Also there's swords. She has two of them which I think qualities her as a girlboss because lesbians with two swords are inherently cool) and choosing to repeat the same year and few months over and over. She kept doing this for decades, winning against even the top stars of her class, people more visibly talented than her, over and over. She did it partially because she wanted to protect everybody but also she was the only one with her fears so it was ultimately super selfish on her part. Not that she actually grew up or learned anything other that period of time, because so much of her character relates to how she's largely a tall child who did not consider letting go once. Eventually the childhood friends to lovers trope (Hikari and Karen) made it impossible for her to keep going with this, since they both beat her in the auditions.

Anyways now that we're done with that overprotective nonsense, let's move onto ReLIVE, where she does it again in a different form. This is the storyline to both introduce students from other schools and the Arcana Arcadia arc, which I'll be talking about now. So in this arc, what was known as Play A was causing all of the students to reach for the Unknown Lead. The problem was that this was fucking up peoples dynamics with each other, but in a way which was the pathway to change and growth. Nana is very anti-change when she sees it as harmful so of course she's back to her shenanigans. Aside from a brief talk with Junna early on, her first big appearance in the arc is when she's having a chat with Mahiru, and the hill Nana decides to die on is that there's not really any point in a lead role if anybody will have to be hurt at all by trying to get it. Mahiru points out that getting hurt is something they're all prepared for, and that was all of their choice. Almost like denying her friends and everybody she loves the choice or chance to face Nana's own fears/get hurt in any way is becoming a theme. Anyways, they have a revue over this, and Nana wins. After this, Nana ends up switching her attention from protesting the idea of plays having lead roles (as one done) to destroying this play as a whole, resolving to take everybody down and free them from what she sees as the madness the play has driven them all into, when they're all just passionate about a role and not really under a spell or being held captive like Nana says in her little monologue. Anyways, this is a bit short lived, because in her next appearance an act later, Maya, a fellow classmate and the top star Nana took down each time she began another reproduction/time loop, decided to invade her stage to fight against Nana. Nana takes this as a chance to talk about how much she thinks the play is hurting everybody, and reaffirms her viewpoint of the play being a source of madness. Maya points out how flawed Nana's viewpoint is, since she's once again selfishly denying everybody the chance to face any sort of hardship and grouping them all together as one thing she needs to protect. Then Nana says something strongly hinting at her reproductions and Maya simply decides not to unpack the implications there in favor of stepping on every moral which was driving Nana and leaving her with the realization that she messed up anyways.

And here's the movie. For context, at the end of the recap movie, which was the anime from Nana's POV, the symbolic deaths of the cast were strongly hinted at, and Nana knew about this. So naturally the next step was for her to beat all of her buddies in a 6v1 and restart the revues so that they could all reach their symbolic rebirths. Except Junna, her roommate/friend/the character she's usually paired with, was, in her eyes, incapable of recapturing her spark, so she ended up offering Junna an opportunity to choose her own end with one of Nana's weapons instead of trying to be symbolically reborn and just dying out pathetically as a result. Junna naturally was not really approving of this, so she ended up taking her sword to instead fight against her while making the point that her stage wasn't something Nana could make for her. And she won and the two of them promised to reunite but all of my emotions about that (which are very positive but are also just painted screaming) don't give her more morally gray or girlboss points while the rest of the revue at least gives her that first variety.

Anyways this girl keeps doing overprotective but very selfish things and also has two swords and the ability to use them so she is my funny little morally questionable girlboss. she also has girlflop traits but that coexists with the girlboss part because she is just a silly girl who has beaten 6 (maybe 5 technically) in combat singlehandedly

[kuvvydraws]

I'm sorry but I really enjoy the whole Raavi and the bad sans Castle.

I absolutely adore the idea of them welcoming Raavi into their relationship.

Nightmare being able to see through his facade and tell when he's upset. When Raavi first stays with them in the castle Night seems pretty emotionless. But the moment Raavi locks himself away in his room Night would sit by the door and just start talking.

"You know it's okay to be upset, if locking yourself away is what helps then I'll leave you to it. But, everyone was worried when you didn't come down for breakfast. Perhaps you want to talk? Or have a cuddle pile? Axe has been prepping his nest, everyone would like to make sure you're okay."

Night will sit by the door until Raavi comes out. And if they find out someone hurt him... Well the boys don't take that lightly.

Don't be sorry, I didn't know I was going to enjoy the dysfunctional bunch so much when I first discovered them and now I can't be stopped! I just love the trope of haywire blorbos going soft for the silly one.

-

Raavi is one skeleton who thrives with attention under the normal circumstances, and they'll happily insert themselves in the dynamics of the castle, for better or worse, and while they're not as destructive or violent as the rest of the sanses there, that doesn't mean they're not bringing a whole bag of shenanigans with them to drive them crazy.

While Raavi doesn't usually let others get close during a bad day, by far preferring to wander and hole away in a lost room beyond the usual corridors, they won't have the energy to shoo anyone away - Raavi becomes a pretty plain, washed out character during those days, barely a smidge of personality shining through, replaced by tasteless neutrality or an upset frown. Starving is not that easy for them considering the immense amount of magic they have, and they'd give whoever finds them some sort of life sign to reassure them that, yes, they're still there, thanks for checking in, they'll see them in 3 to 5 business days.

Unfortunately for the murder group, Raavi already has a bloodthirsty bodyguard in the shape of a brother, who's going to tear the city apart in search for whomever dared upset his sibling. They're going to be late to the butchering.

However, like most things, Raavi's bad days come without warning, loneliness wrapping around them like a blanket, and their cheery façade falls in exchange for a deep sadness - there is, after all, a reason behind their love for big, noisy crowds and busy environments, the hustle and bustle helps keep the dark thoughts away. At least Nightmare can get a good meal out of them?

When they see the overlord again, they're going to be bashful and pretend nothing too serious happened, "thanks for being there... I'd give you a kiss but, man, the goop, you know?"

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Neon Nostrade ABC NS/FW Headcanons

Okay. I’m gonna do this for our baby girl because well, she has a different set of kinks altogether. 

By the way, I will be referring to KuroNeon and KuroNeon when I’m doing this headcanon. 

Rated R Warning: Lots of vulgar terms. Don't like don't read. Don't go inside a cave and complain it's dark. I will block anyone who complains.

Let’s go for the ABC Headcanons of this brat: 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She’s two moods: either really drowsy after a good fuck or talkative. If she’s worn out good, she will be very sleepy and just want to lie on her partner’s chest. 

If she still has energy left, she likes to have a pillow talk with her partner. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Girlie is proud of her curves and face. She knows she’s cute and she has the curves. She’s not afraid to dress up for her man and drive them absolutely crazy. 

She likes her partner’s biceps and back. She likes to scratch and caress them when they are in a missionary position. 

If she's with Kurapika and knows his Kurta identity, she worships his eyes (kinda fucked up but yes!). She likes how it turns scarlet because of his deep intense lust (and maybe hatred) while they’re having sex. She finds it alluring, like a moth to a flame. For Chrollo, it's his spider tattoo.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This girl swallows. Nuff’ said. She likes to be milked too. She's submissive and breedable.

She also likes having her partner's fingers stuffed into her mouth after they finger her. A little taste on how wet she is. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She has a bunch of lingerie shoots that doesn’t show her face. She then post it on OnlyFans to gain extra income. Just lingerie pics because she enjoys modelling for it. However, she won't show her pussy or boobs. Those are VIP access only.

She also fucks her new head bodyguard aka Kurapika and had a one time fling with Chrollo. Papa must never know this.

Good girls are just bad girls who haven't been caught.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not so much. She isn't a virgin per se (really think one of her clients or Chrollo took her virginity), but she also hasn't gotten around much due to her father having people to guard her 24/7. She usually doesn’t take the lead so most of the time she just goes with the flow. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything to do with her partner dominating her. Girlie likes to get dicked down hard. So think of missionary, doggy and all sorts of variations that goes deep.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

She is very childish and teasing alright. She's not serious about it. To her, sex is for fun. She wants to enjoy it. She giggles a lot whenever she gets a pleasant reaction from her partner.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yeah. She goes to those high-end bikini waxing services to get her pussy groomed once ever three months. She may show her lingerie to others but she only shows her lady parts to someone special and she has to make herself look presentable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Uhhh... she is playful. She usually relies on the non-sexual dating part that her partner does for the romance.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

This girl likes to read smuts or listen to audios to get herself wet. If she really wants to get down on it, she uses a good ol' vibrator to buzz herself. She has to do it in a room though, where no one is around.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

*clears throat* This girl makes the best porn to write LMAO. I can think of a few kinks when it comes to her (and her r/s with Chrollo or Kurapika).

With Kurapika:

Discipline and Bondage: Her bratty attitude pisses off his stern no-bullshit personality. Sometimes she does it on purpose to egg him to punish and fuck her. She secretly enjoys it when he spanks her, be it using his hand or his belt. She realises that he might be into bondage based on the chains on his hand so she suggested tying her up. They used ropes, clothes, handcuffs and of course (actual, not his Nen) chains. He sometimes chains her up Shibari style and likes to see her pussy drool over the chains. This starts whenever she acts up, throws a tantrum and Kurapika has to deal with her bs. It's not easy disciplining this naughty brat but he likes the challenge until she's an obedient brat begging to be his cumslut. When she's being a good girl, he'll reward her with a good fucking and another present (e.g. jewellery or handbag or whatever she wants).

Degrading and Humiliation: This comes with the disciplining part. Whenever he disciplines her, it comes with degrading her. Neon loves to be called all sorts of degrading terms: slut, whore, brat. He's usually very uptight so it turns her on when he gets vulgar during sex. It gets even more intense when it's hate-fucking. He's supposed to dislike flesh collectors but here he is enjoying the flesh of a pretty collector, and so they engage in hate-sex filled with degrading her and Neon loves every filthy second of it.

Breeding: Yes, I know I said Kurapika ain't gonna want kids, based on my analysis of him and it makes sense. Only after he accidentally knocks her up, then he'll realise "hey, this ain't bad". So when Kurapika realises that perhaps repopulating the clan isn't that bad, Neon is more than happy to produce kids with him and be the freakin Kurta baby factory. The whole baby-making process is fun, they will make sure they won't waste a single cum drop. Neon also loves to address Kurapika as "Daddy" because she knows it makes him feel powerful and it represents fathering her children. Sorry Light Nostrade, Neon has another daddy now.

With Chrollo:

DD/LG: Their age gap and height difference screams sugar dating. He loves to indulge in her materialism and spoils her like a brat she is (he just steals those items and gives it to her). Chrollo is one freaky mf who calls her princess, kitten, baby girl and all sorts of really cute nicknames. Chrollo isn't like Kurapika who would degrade her. He likes to praise his little sex bunny because positive reinforcement works. He wants her to dress up in all those frizzy lingerie costumes and roleplay in DD/LG.

Toys: [See the T for Toys for this one]

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

One word: power. 

That is in the form of money and dominance in her partner. She loves it when they give her what she wants materially, be it that nice taxidermy butterfly necklace or that designer brand clothes and accessories. She doesn't care how you get it, but if you give it to her, she's sure to reward you.

Another thing that for sure turns them on is being dominated. Be it with Kurapika, Chrollo or anyone else, Neon loves to be dominated and fucked. Hold her by the neck. Let her know who is in charge. Make her beg to be fucked. A little possessive dirty talk will get her wet. Anything to do with establishing ownership of her.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Neon likes having sex in the bedroom or in the guy's office. She likes to disturb her partner while he's working so they end up doing it in the office. Or some luxurious hotel. A bathtub will be good too.

There's a very specific location I want to write her having sex with Kurapika. A location so messed up yet so angsty but I will keep quiet about it for now. You would need to be one creative sicko like me to guess this one. Heh. 😶😶

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

A big no is her being 100% dom. Neon is kinda lazy in that aspect. She doesn't like to do all the work and wants the pleasure/pain handed to her. At most, she'll ride the guy while she's on top but she's going to be a real tease about it, hoping that they would get impatient and flip her over. When they do, she'll be more excited because that's what baby girl wants.

Stuff like pee or anything to do with that is something that she'll never do.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She likes to have her pussy eaten out of course. And how they make her come through oral sex. However, she prefers to give SLIGHTLY more. Just slightly. She likes to get her hair grabbed and face-fucked. Sometimes she engages in cock worship.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually, she says things like "fuck me harder", "don't stop" etc. to encourage getting fucked at a faster and rougher pace. Especially when they hit her G-spot. That sends her crazy. She does appreciate the slow and sensual but only at the beginning or near the end. Depending on the context of the sex session.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yeah. She likes quickies. This has something to do with disturbing and teasing her partner while he's at work. Yes, I'm talking about Kurapika. So a little quickie just for him to relax and catch a break is Neon's favour for him for working so hard.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes. She's game on taking risks. She's actually the one who will initiate and explore with kinks she finds on the net. Heck, she once proposed getting fucked against the window and in the balcony, risking the fact that someone might see them (Papa absolutely must never know what his daughter has been doing). The fear and thrill of getting caught arouses her.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I think at most two rounds. The sex can be really intense and this girl lacks stamina. She didn't go through formal Nen training (remember that she got hers without training), and her partners are Nen users and physically fit so they wear her out.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

She owns them alright. She uses a vibe to pleasure herself. It comes in handy when she gets horny during ovulation and there's no one to dick her down.

As for using them with a partner, she uses a lot of toys with Chrollo. Whether it's the anal beads when Chrollo wants to get her ass fucked while he rams the front or making her wear vibrating panties in public, she's sure down for it. She also will wear a tail butt plug to complement her kitty outfit that Chrollo instructed her to wear. She'd gladly follow whatever freaky fantasy he wants.

With Kurapika, they don't use toys except for bondage items. If Neon were to sleep with a woman, she'll prefer to get fucked with a strap on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Neon is the queen of teases. Especially if her lover seems uptight. (Yes, Pika boy, that's you).

She'll randomly sends him nudes while he's working. She'll touch his lap/balls lightly when they're eating side by side. She'll say stuff that sounds suggestive in inappropriate timings. She'll wink. She'll roll her tongue while eating and making eye contact. Just to initiate sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Neon has a high-pitched voice. She's very vocal during sex. She can't help it. Honestly, she sounds like those girls in hentai porn but more genuine lmaoo. She'll moan, squeal, whine, squeak and pant with the occasional "yes", "fuck me", "harder" and all the short needy dirty talk to push them to do her rougher.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She likes to shop for her outfits. It excites her thinking what type of kinky outfit she should buy to make her partner horny. Be it another lacy lingerie, bunny outfit, kitty outfit, she'll be sure to look delectable in her man's eyes.

She looks REAL good in pink or white. Most of her outfits are in that colour. 💖💖

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Neon has a B cup. She doesn't have those giant breasticles like Pakunoda or Shizuku. But that's understandable. I once estimated her height based on Chrollo's height and the manga panel where her head is at his shoulder. She's about 150cm, maybe even shorter. She's a petite girl. She has curves in proportion (she's not a loli, she's just small in height). But that's her charm. She's cute. Easily carried to be fucked.

Side note: The height difference between her and Kurapika (171cm)/Chrollo (177cm) is so good in this aspect (if you guys know what I mean) hehehe kekekek.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Hmm... I think Neon is mid. She does likes sex but she isn't a sex addict. She gets in the mood easily, especially when she's horny during ovulation. She won't be in the mood when she's angry or upset at not getting what she wants.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She's exhausted after it happens. Definitely be sleeping like a baby. She'll lay on her partner's chest and doze off comfortably. If she still has the energy, she'll demand for round two or just pillow talk. Chatter her way until she falls asleep.

To end it off, I would like to give you guys some links to fanart where Neon is being hot, art by @anotherworldash :

Cat Outfit

Cat Outfit with Buttplug

Bunny Outfit Regina George reference

Neon in Shibari ropes

Chrollo and Neon

Kurapika and Neon

Neon sucking Kurapika off [Yes, you read this right]

Neon in pink lingerie

[ineedglasses]

VK Character Analysis: Rido Kuran

Rido is a complete, messed up, SOB, but I still like him as a character because he is simply such a fun villain. If I were to place him in that alignment chart thing, he would be “chaotic evil” without a doubt.

While he is generally seen as a creepy, sister-obsessed, maniac, I really believe he was different earlier in his life. 

This analysis is based off the Rido we see in the manga and the light novel, NOT the Rido in the anime, since the anime was trash and deviated from the manga when it came to his arc. Anyway, at the start of the post, I will go over the info from the light novel and manga, next will be my headcanons of him as a young man and at the end is my interpretation of him when he was crazy, as we see him in the original series.

                                                               XXX

The Deranged Love story in the Fleeting Dreams light novel talks about Rido’s obsession with Juri and gives some info on their past. However, when compared to the original VK series there are several points that don’t add up, and some parts of the light novel simply make no sense.

First, Both VKM and the light novel mention that Rido killed his parents and presumably devoured them to take their powers. That makes sense, it seems like something he would do. What doesn’t make sense to me is the timeline. When exactly did he kill his parents? 

All the light novel tells us is that he killed them immediately after they engaged him to Shizuka. Is this around the time Haruka and Juri got married? I always assumed Haruka and Juri have been married for a while, like at least 1000 years. If this is the case, within that time period, how can they not notice that their parents are dead and that their brother killed them? 

Or does their murder occur closer to the time Juri got pregnant? But this doesn’t make sense either because Rido referred to Shizuka as a “small child” when he killed his parents, and by the time Juri was pregnant with Yuki’s real brother, Shizuka was probably already at least one or two thousand years old. Unless Shizuka is much younger than we thought? So when exactly Rido kills his parents is quite the mystery.

Secondly, How did he kill his parents? 

I assume the older a pureblood, the more powerful they are. So how can he, by himself, kill his parents, both of whom are older and more powerful than him? I doubt his dad was a weakling because as former king of vampires, he should be quite powerful. In the light novel, it seems his parents were already wary of him and wanted to keep him away from Juri. Thus they wouldn’t completely let their guard down around him. And its not like Rido could carry around a hunter sword with him without it being noticed. Even if he was carrying something small like a dagger, his parents should have been able to overwhelm him in a fight since its 2 vs 1. 

Kaname has commented that “purebloods have equal powers, so they would only exhaust each other in battle”; basically it is hard to kill another pureblood unless you have some advantage (e.g. Shizuka being already wounded by Zero’s hunter gun). So the only logical way Rido can kill his parents is if he catches them off guard, such as when they are taking a centuries long slumber in the family mausoleum, basically doing what Sara did to Hanadagi. 

Thirdly, another point that makes no sense is that Rido in the light novel says:

“My parents had taken my precious Juri far away from me and made it so that we could never meet.” 

How exactly did his parents take Juri away and stop them from ever meeting again? Send her abroad with no intention of ever letting her return? And yet the manga clearly contradicts that, because Rido is still in contact with Haruka and Juri, he was there to see their firstborn baby!

Fourthly, this is a small detail that has always irked me: In the manga, when Yuki’s brother peed on him, Rido mentions that he used to change his siblings’ diapers when they were babies. 

However the light novel kind of contradicts that, because young Rido upon being called in to meet his baby sister says: “I will confess that newborns seemed very uninteresting to me at that time”; does this sound like an older brother that would change his younger siblings’ diapers? It sounds like a guy who would leave baby care to the nannies and stay far away from soiled diapers. 

Finally, we get to the biggest illogical point in the light novel: Rido was a psychopath that just randomly developed an obsession upon seeing the newborn Juri.

“ It was in that moment – somewhere in the depths of my being – something abruptly flared to life. […] I was overwhelmed by the urge to devour her.”

No normal person just out of the blue feels the urge to consume a baby, only crazy people do. The rest of the light novel story continues depicting Rido as a psychopath. Their parents notice there is something wrong with their son because the mom slaps Rido and starts to keep him away from Juri. Adding on to this portrayal of him as batshit crazy, after he (somehow) kills his parents, he says the following:

“That’s what you get for getting in my way, you naughty things…” 

LOL, who in their right mind would call their parents “naughty things”?

My issue is this: I highly doubt Rido was crazy from the start, because it would make no sense. If Rido was crazy, how the hell could Juri and Haruka not have noticed for over 3000 years?! Even the dumbest person would get a clue that their brother was crazy after just 30 years, much less 3000 years. They trusted him enough to let him hold their baby, so they clearly believed Rido was not crazy. There is no way that Juri and Haruka were that stupid and blind. Thus, I doubt that Rido was crazy at the start of his life. So, this aspect of the light novel is just total BS to me.

IF Rido really was crazy from the start, then his mom and dad were bad parents. Yes, it makes sense to keep Juri away from Rido if he really were a psychopath, but their other actions were just extremely irresponsible and selfish. If you know your son is dangerous, maybe you should address this issue properly. After all, he is a pureblood and if you don’t deal with the problem, there will be huge repercussions for everyone given the destructive powers of purebloods. 

But instead of taking their son to see a mental health professional like any decent parent would do, Papa and Mama Kuran decided to solve the problem by engaging him off to a “tiny child”. I’m no parenting expert, but I’m sure if your son has mental issues, you definitely should NOT marry him off to any girl. Even if they didn’t get him some help, they should have at least locked him up like Shizuka to ensure he didn’t harm anyone... but they just let him roam free.

If this is the extent of their problem-solving ability, then it’s for the best that they ended the monarchy because they must have been cruddy rulers. But who knows, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they believed the “tiny child” they chose for him has a PhD in psychology and can provide their son with the help he clearly needs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I consider the light novel to be only pseudo-canon since it was inspired by Hino but written by someone else (Ayuna Fujisaka), so I will just ignore the parts that don’t make sense and keep the parts that do.

                                                              XXX

This following section is what I believe Rido to have been like when he was a (sane) young man, based on the info in the manga and the few bits that do make sense in the light novel.

Since Rido was the oldest son and born in a time when the Kurans were still the ruling family, he probably grew up with a lot of pressure and expectations as he was the crown prince. Given these conditions, he was most likely serious and hardworking, doing his best to live up to those expectations and preparing to be the next king (kinda like Eins in The Royal Tutor LOL).

He was also probably a bit older than Haruka and Juri (because according to the manga he has experience changing their diapers and taking care of them). And since he was probably busy with his princely duties, he did not spend a bunch of time with his siblings and thus Haruka and Juri were naturally closer to one another than Juri was to him. She probably saw him a respected older brother but not as reachable and easy to connect to as Haruka.

Rido was probably arrogant, possessive, and entitled even at the start (though at much milder levels than towards the end), which makes sense given his background. Not only was he a pureblood, but the crown prince too. And since he was prince, he probably had to deal with the dog-eat-dog world of politics from a young age, so that probably made him more cynical and darker than his siblings who had much less pressure and responsibility. It would almost be shocking if he was a humble and kind person instead.

Anyway, according to the custom of primogeniture, both the throne and Juri should have been his. Since it was tradition of the Kurans to marry their siblings, it only makes sense that as the oldest son and legitimate heir, he was the one that Juri should have married. Yet for whatever reason, their dad decided to end the monarchy, which must have been a huge blow to Rido who spent his whole life preparing to be the next king. He probably drove himself to despair questioning why and if there was something wrong with him that his father would pull such a move.

Then Rido probably got another big slap to the face: Juri choosing to marry Haruka instead of him, with his parents probably giving them their blessings. So not only has he lost the throne, he also lost the fiancée that should have been his according to precedent. And Juri choosing Haruka probably made Rido lose face among their society, since people would naturally wonder why Juri spurned tradition and married the second son instead.

(Actually, it wouldn’t matter if the monarchy getting dissolved took place first or if Juri choosing Haruka took place first, the point is both happened and it screwed him up.)

Rido most likely didn’t love Juri, but simply believed he did. He probably conflated Juri with what he lost/ what should have been his by birthright and became unhealthily obsessed with the idea of her. It didn’t help that the one Juri chose was Haruka, who we know has a mild and kind personality. To someone like Rido, those are traits probably considered “weak”, and thus he probably never thought of Haruka as his rival. Therefore, the fact that he lost to Haruka of all people shocked him, and there might have been some anger and sorrow at being betrayed by a sibling. So anyway, Rido’s emotions as well as his ego got clobbered.

But fate is not done with him yet! His parents most likely decided to engage him to Shizuka “without his consent” around the time that Haruka and Juri got engaged/married. They might have rushed to engage him off to whoever was available at that time (unluckily for Shizuka it happened to be her), hoping to get him out of the way of his siblings’ happiness. Rido probably was pissed, since not only does he not get to choose his new fiancée, the one chosen for him hails from a clan with a history of supposedly going insane, instead of someone with a less problematic pedigree. His parents really doing him dirty lol.

I think he really had some deep-rooted problems with his parents. Sometimes parents just don’t like their child, because of personality and ideological differences…Anyway, they were definitely in a strained relationship which would explain why Rido could go so far to kill his own parents and feel no guilt over it.

                                                                XXX

Finally, towards the end of his life he really just lost it.

Rido probably tried to keep up appearances and act like everything is okay and that his world is not falling apart, thus allowing Juri and Haruka to still trust him. But over the years he just stewed in his anger against his parents, his siblings and the world in general and turned into a very bitter and hateful person on the inside. And although he probably tried to suppress his growing darkness, his bad traits got amped up while his better traits died. It was probably extremely infuriating for him to see his siblings so happy in their pink glittery world while he himself was drowning in darkness.

(Even Kaien was annoyed by Haruka and Juri’s “pink world”, imagine an already salty and bitter Rido seeing this type of scene for centuries and just frothing with rage on the inside LOL)

So Rido became a sadistic ass towards the end, taking his anger out on people that have nothing to do with it. He tried to make Shizuka miserable and force her to be docile and had no luck with that but succeeded in breaking Senri’s mom and driving the poor woman crazy. Though if you think about it, in a way he did succeed in breaking Shizuka too… he caused her lover’s death and when she lost her lover, she basically lost her will to live.

Hino showed how talented Rido is at antagonizing others. While he possessed Senri, he intentionally hurt Senri’s body to toy with Takuma.

Even after his death, his dregs were tormenting Kaname by pointing out all his inner concerns, taunting Kaname about how he has no hope left. 

In VKM, Yuki mentions Rido as someone “with overwhelming desires that only plunge the world around [him] into misery.” Overall, Rido probably got his giggles by making others miserable.

Besides getting high off ruining the lives of other people, he was just a bastard in general. He used everyone around him as tools, even his own sons. Unlike Shizuka or Kaname, he did not care about his subordinates at all, to him they were just “appetizers” and expendables. He also had zero reservations about forcing lower vampires to submit to his will.

Anyway, Rido probably was already a bitter jackass but he really snapped when he found out Juri was pregnant and would start a happy little family with Haruka. Maybe he was idiotically holding onto hope that as long as Juri didn’t have a kid, he still had a chance? Regardless, it was at that point that he gave up any vestiges of humanity he had left and decided to just pursue power instead.

With no hope left he just decided to give in to his primitive instincts and lust after power, at the expense of family ties. In a way, he might have felt betrayed by his family, and reasoned with himself that unlike the throne and Juri, at least power won’t be stolen away.

BTW, I think his decision to sacrifice Yuki’s real brother to ancestor Kaname was spontaneous and not premeditated. After all, crazy people are unlikely to plan things in advance and just do as their whims dictate...

Maybe it came to him right when he stared at Juri holding her newborn. 

“It’s such irony that this baby was named ‘Kaname’ like you. That’s what got me started thinking of this.”

Because his plan (if he had one) sucked. He should have known that the famished, revived ancestor would attack him, since the blood of a tiny baby was clearly not enough. And yet he made no preparations to fend off such an attack and ended up getting drained by Kaname.

As a side note, Haruka could have killed Rido right then, when Rido was badly wounded by ancestor Kaname. 

But he didn’t, and chose to have Rido imprisoned by the Senate instead. Haruka should have known that Rido would never give up on destroying his family as long as he lived, so the logical thing would have been to kill him. Even Rido mentions this later when he returned for Yuki.

While Haruka’s pacifist nature played a part in this, I think he also restrained himself from giving in to vengeful rage partly out of the fact that they are family, and more likely out of guilt. Perhaps Haruka had always felt guilty for marrying Juri and realized that he was partly responsible for driving Rido insane.

Anyway, Rido crossed the line by killing a helpless baby and basically burned all his bridges. At this point he didn’t really give any fucks anymore. 

Asato mentions how Rido was like a child, even though he has lived so long. I think the analogy fits, because Rido acted like a child throwing a tantrum, trying to destroy everything and doing whatever he pleased with no regard for consequences or others.

In a sense, like Shizuka, Rido had already lost his will to go on living. The only thing keeping him hanging on was the need to lash out. Even though he acted like he was pursuing greater power, aiming to consume Kaname and Yuki to become more powerful, he wasn’t actually trying. 

If he was serious, he would not have gotten easily distracted, suddenly deciding to have Yuki replace Juri instead of continuing with the plan to devour her. Rido also didn’t bother trying to fight seriously at the end and Zero comments on this.

Otherwise Zero and Yuki together could not have beaten him, given how Rido is much older/powerful and consumed at least 2 other purebloods. Even Sara said that Rido was acting foolishly reckless, saying he was just having fun.

                                                             XXX

Overall, given this interpretation of Rido, I actually feel bad for him. I believe that he drove himself crazy wondering why his parents ended the monarchy instead of letting him be the next king, and wondering why Juri chose Haruka over him. Those questions probably haunted him for centuries.

That feeling that you tried your best, did everything you were supposed to, but still ended up with nothing is something I can relate to. Sometimes one just wants to watch the world burn given how unjust life usually is (even though logically we know it is wrong to feel this way). So yeah, these are my headcanons and analysis of Rido, who I prefer to see as a deeper/more interesting character than just a sis-con psychopath LOL.

[themadauthorshatter]

RED SCHOOL UNIVERSE ALTERATION HEADCANONS/STORY!!!!!! Mainly based on that series titles and plots post I did a little while back.

This story happensthe same as before, but there are three arcs, not two parts; Arc 1 is the two worlds dicscovering each other and each wondering who the other is. Arc 2 is the worlds meeting each other and making introductions and first impressions. Arc 3 is the "Peace and Cooperation" between the two, which includes the Unity Ball.

The Endless Woods were still discovered by Silvers, but it was completely on accident. They were trying to go to Piedmont or any other Nortan ally because the Scarlet Guard situation is getting a little crazy and Tiberias needs needs reinforcements who are not having the same problem as him.

In their defense, it was really dark and they couldn't see a damn thing. And they thought the trees and grass being blue were because of Greenies.

One of them, a Swift, ran away when his travel partner, an Eye, got shot by a stray arrow and when a wolf jumped out of the trees. Like, a BIG ASS WOLF.

Little did the Swift know, a ferret snuck onto the boat while getting chased by an evil mist possessed hawk.

So the Eye gets patched up by Professor Espada, who scolded Chaddick, he is interviewed by Espada and Dovey, though they all talk in the School Master's office.

THE REVEAL OF RHIAN WILL COME, JUST WAIT BECAUSE IT WILL BE AWESOME!!!

The Eye explains as much of Norta as he can, mistakenly talking about the King and his two sons to a certain blonde girl who keeps thinking she's in the wrong school and her more realist, down to Earth friend that is intrigued, but just wants to go home.

SPEAKING OF NORTA!!!!

With the Swift, he arrives back at Norta and claimed he'd been chased away by soldiers.

The ferret slips away from the boat and finds its way into the garage, where Cal happens to be working, because he overworked himself in training.

It gets his attention and he very stupidly asks it how it got in.

It starts chattering and then claws at the door. Ever the compassionate, Cal lets it on his shoulder and he meets an Animos who takes notice of the rather articulate rodent on the prince's shoulder.

She does her own interviewing of the creature and is curious when it talks about a school meant for teaching children how to be heroes and villains for fairytales.

She infirms Cal, but tells him to not tell his father because it'd sound stupid and like bullshit.

He tells him anyway because Cal cannot keep a secret.

Tibe tells him that maybe he's been training too hard or in the garage to much; oil or gasoline on the brain.

Good thing the Eye comes back and tells Tibe EVERYTHING about what is called the School for Good and Evil. It is across the sea and has no Reds or Silvers to speak of, though they do have magic.

Tibe tries brushing it off, even when Elara asks him about it, but starts getting frustrated when letters start coming in, all sent by ravens.

These address Maven, Cal, Tibe, Elara, Evangeline, Ptolemus, and Volo Samos, and just about anyone and everyone else the Eye talked about, Even Mare, who is Mareena Titanos at this moment.

This was not only an assignment from the School Master directly, but a test to see if the Eye was BS-ing.

Maven rolls his eyes when he reads his.

Mare, at first, got really excited because she thought it was her family or Shade, but was really sad to learn it was just a bunch of kids in school.

Cal just laughs because he gets a lot of questions about what Norta is like and how he lives life, especially how HE goes to school.

He writes back, after realizing that the letters are being sent by literal 16 year olds.

Here is a letter sent by Tedros:

"Dear Tiberias Calore VII, We found one of your people in our school when my friend accidentally shot him.(sorry about that, by the way!) He talked a lot about you and a thing called "Queenstrial" and said that every King had to choose his Queen like that, even though your father didn't. His blood was silver, too. LIKE A MIRROR! Is that how all of you are? As in, does everyone have silver blood? And does everyone still have powers? Write back when you get a chance. I hope to here from you soon, Tedros Pendragon of Camelot."

Here is Cal's reply:

"Dear Tedros, Call me Cal, just about everyone else does. And don't worry about our comrade, he's doing okay. And I hope he didn't say anything confidential. To answer your questions: Yes, Queenstrial is somewhat a competition to marry the next King. My father didn't really partake in one until after I was born, then he married the current Queen and had my brother Maven. Kings rarely marry without one, though my father was the third to do so. Assuming what he said to us was true, that being you and your classmates all have red blood, then no. Not all us have silver blood. I and my family are all Silvers, meaning we have silver blood. We have powers because of it, but it's not as vast as yours, what you call magic. I'm a Burner, meaning I can control fire and not get burned by it, just like my father and brother. My mother, the queen, is a Whisper, meaning she can read minds. And no, not everyone has powers or silver blood. Reds, people with red blood, don't have powers at all, so they work. Granted, Silvers work, too, but Reds have more labor intensive jobs like lumbering and even fighting in an army. It's to make them feel more useful next to us. I hope this answered ypu questions. Tiberias Calore VII"

Here are letters Sophie sent to Maven:

"Dear Maven Calore, It's very nice to meet you! My name is Sophie. I'm from a village called Gavaldon, though you might not have heard of it because it's really deep in the woods and, let's be honest, if you live in a place like Gavaldon, you can probably live and die without anyone knowing who or where you are. Anyway, I tried writing to your brother, but I guess he gets THAT many letters. That guy they found didn't talk about you as much as your brother. And he said he'll be best king yet. I know how frustrating that is, I got put in the wrong school when I helped so many people and even became best friends with a witch. AND SOMEHOW I'M IN EVIL!? I'M THE PICTURE PERFECT DEFINITION OF A PRINCESS!!! Did that ever happen to you on school? Were ypu ever in the wrong place and your brother was where you were supposed to be? Anyway, write back when you get a chance! Love, Sophie P.S. Is it true you and your brother are ALREADY engaged to someone?"

Here is Maven's reply:

"Dear Sophie, Yes. My brother and I are already betrothed, him to Evangeline of House Samos and I to Mareena of the lost House Titanos. I'm not surprised that he didn't; the nobles usually pay more attention to my brother anyway, kind of like you. I remember once I'd wanted to join my father on a meeting concerning one of our legions. He chose Cal to join him instead and left me to train, even though I'm better at talking in council meetings. I was fairly upset, as I'm sure you are, but all I can say is to grin and bear it. As far as I know, most schools last four years. It may seem like a long time, but it will go by very quickly. Aside from that, I wouldn't know because I wasn't taught in a school like you. I was taught in the palace with my brother. I hope things get better for you, at least. Cordially, Maven Calore"

If this was a legit book or movie, we'd get back and forth POVs between the Red Queen cast and the SGE cast.

With the RQ cast, we'd see Mare and Maven talk the letters they'd each gotten and talk about the existence of magic, and the last letter sent to all three of them. FROM AGATHA. Cal joins them and they get to speculating what it could mean for their future.

"Dear Tiberias Calore VII, Maven Calore, and Mareena Titanos, This is the last letter we're allowed to send. The students, at least. Mareena, or Mare, or whatever your name is, I wish I had a chance to meet you at least once. I don't know, I just have a feeling you're lying and I want to know why. Tiberia Cal, I hope you someday become a good king, and that you're happy with Evangeline. If not, just get along and be freinds. Maven, I'm glad you and Mare met. She sounds like she's a good part of your life, and it sounds like your doing everything you can to help her adapt. I hope you two become your own little weird, married family. If I never meet you, best of wishes to you all. Agatha of Woods Beyond"

All three are bummed out by this and Mare cries into Maven's shoulder as he hugs her out of genuineness, not his mother's plan.

Maven later admits to Cal that it would be interesting to meet the students, but is glad he isn't, because they already have enough problems.

Cal agrees, but solely on the front that they wouldn't really know how to get there and back to Norta, and who qould have to stay behind to hold down the fort, as Tibe doesn't trust Elara or any other high house leader and doesn't talk to Julian.

The two simply imagine what such a meeting would be like as they part ways.

With Tibe, a letter from the School Master himself has just arrived and details a safe route from Norta to the School and back.

SWITCH AND BACK TRACK TO THE SGE CAST!!!!!

Sophie hugs the return letters from Cal and Maven, squealing about how gentlemanly they are and that she can't wait to meet them. Agatha gently breaks it to her that that might not happen because of how they don't know where this Norta place is and the last letter was sent last night, HER LETTER. Sophie waves her off and calls her gloomy for not having any hope. Agatha tries talking Sophie into trying to find a way back to Gavaldon instead, but Sophie shuts her down by gasping that she'd never meet her princes, then.

Norta is a hot topic for the students as they all compare letters, Evers and Nevers.

Tedros wonders to Agatha how long it would take for them to arrive, and Agatha admits she doesn't know because she doesn't know how they get from place to place without horses or carriages.

Dovey and Lesso are about to pull their hair out from the nonstop chitchat of Norta, Reds, and Silvers, and the School Master has just the solution:

After enough ravens left and returned safely, he determined a route on water that would help the Silvers arrive safely and get back home. Considering the advances in technology Norta has, it should take them about a day or two to arrive and another day or two to sail home, regardless of the weather conditions.

With that all thought out, he puts it in the form of him own letter, sends it by eagle, and waits.

After A MONTH of waiting, he gets a letter back that Tiberias will be happy to meet the School Master at the rendezvous point.

AND THUS CONCLUDES ARC 1

BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ARC 2!!!!

[revchainsaw]

Stargate (1994)

Welcome to the Cult Film Tent Revival my freaky fanatics, prepare yourselves to take the sacrament from across the stars, as we engage in the miraculous works of one of our most beloved Cult Saints, Saint Kurt. Coming to us from the golden age of Sci-fi Adventures, when Hollywood would dump the big bucks into a film so out of this world, we are partaking this evening of 1994's Stargate!

The Message

Every child has an Egypt phase. I remember fondly flipping through my DK Eyewitness guide to ancient Egypt with my Anubis warrior action figure from the movie stargate propped up on my desk. This wasn't even school work, Egypt inspired this young freak to learn outside of the classroom, and Stargate inspired me to look to Egypt in the first place. My father was a military man, as mentioned before, and this film irked him to some degree. He hated that the film was slightly critical of firearms, but mostly he hated that it depicted the high security military installation where he worked unrealistically. You know the high security military installation in the side of Cheyenne Mountain. yeah, that one. I don't know why my father expected a bunch of nerds from Hollywood with not security clearance to have any idea what it looked like in that hyper-secure location, but he did. I suspect after they lost him on the guns he was looking for any reason to hate Stargate, and so, impressionable as I was, I thought for years that this movie was really stupid.

Thank the Gods of Cult that I had the inspiration to give this film a second chance. I have to say, it's a little stupid, but it's not REALLY stupid. Also, Disney's Atlantis is totally just animated Stargate, and that's pretty fucked up.

Stargate is the story of how a big old nerd, whos name is NOT Milo, played by James Spader was enlisted by a bunch of military bad guy types to use his crackpot pseudoscience egyptology crap to decipher a bunch of writings that every other scientist or academic was wrong about. When he does this he succesfully creates a Stargate, a bridge between our world and another.

Our other hero is Sergeant Kurt Russell. Russell is sitting around trying to take two and not call his doctor in the morning, just generally being sad about guns because his son accidentally shot himself. Like father like son I guess. Sorry if that sounds cruel, it's just so desperately reaching for pathos and drama that it kind of enters into the realm of parody parody. I may have been raised by gun nuts, but I am very pro depicting guns as dangerous. Stargate is about as subtle as a pie in the face, or a bullet in the face. Ok, I'm done. Anyway, the military has one more mission for Kurt and he decides for some reason that means that guns are good again for killing bad guys, except for later when he decides that guns are bad again.

So Disney's Atlantis and Guile from Street Fighter enter the Stargate and discover a world where illiterate humans are kept in subjugation by a ruling class of aliens who use them to mine precious minerals and demand to be worshipped as Gods. The leader of these aliens is an immortal alien being who has possessed the body of a teen boy pop sensation and goes by the name of Ra.

James Spader is gifted a wife by the locals because it's so quirky that women are property, i guess, but it's okay because they happen to be in love, and with her help he is able to learn the truth behind this worlds condition. Ra had built the Stargate to travel between worlds and was worshipped in Ancient Egypt, however the people got wise to his BS and he had to escape. He took many humans hostage and crossed the stargate and then banned reading and writing as an attempt to quell any kind of uprising, and it's worked for a long time.

Ra is pissed at the earth boys though because he knows a nuclear weapon when he sees one. Turns out Kurt Russell brought a big ol bomb with him across the stargate as a contingency plan for any aggro aliens they may have found. Hey, they found them so I guess it wasn't too bad of an idea. Ra punishes his worshippers by having them mercilessly bombed and Spader and Russell team up with the locals to revolt. They eventually gain the upper hand and Ra attempts to flee with his Pyramid space ship but our heroes teleport the nuke onto his ship and save the day. Thus launching several Sci-Fi television series that I have never watched.

The Benediction

Best Scene: Ra Footage

The Throne Room Scene where we are first introduced to Ra and his godlike warriors is pretty excellent. It's so menacing how he surrounds himself with a force field of children, and the combination of futuristic technology with an ancient Egyptian aesthetic that this film sells itself on is on it's ultimate display in this scene. I really like the villains in this movie and I savor whenever they get to be shown off.

Best effect: Mastadge Ride

The CG on Stargate is better than in Species which sought to be it's competitor a year later, but it is still dated. It's utilized in cool enough ways and sparingly enough that even though it looks cartoony at moments it is very easy to forgive. Being Easy to forgive however, would be a pretty lackluster qualification for best effect and I'm going to have to turn this honor to the practical creature effects for the Mastadge. When we are first introduced to our alien world one the first things we see is the fuzzy maw of one of these creatures, before it takes James Spader for a very harrowing trip across the desert. These alien beasts of burden do sometimes reveal that they are mounted upon horses, but in close ups they just look so good. I love them and I want one.

Worst Scene: It's just sad OK!

Kurt Russell becomes very popular with the young men from the village of Ra's worshippers. They come to see him as some kind of hero and seek to emulate him. However, these people are very peaceful and not in any way battle hardened. A group of the young men stand up to the leaders and seek to aid the Earthlings in their revolution. They are brave but in many ways out classed by Ra's elite guards. Through the sheer force of numbers they do succeed in casting off the shackles of their oppressors but not before one of the young men we've come to care about is tragically blasted all to shit in slow mo. That scene made me cry a ton when I was a kid, and I dreaded waiting for it as an adult. It is worth noting that if you aren't 5 years old a lot of the drama in Stargate is pretty hamfisted and corny. It's a pretty excellent action movie, and a pretty goofy drama.

Coolest looking Villain: Animals as Leaders

I used to think that Ra was really stupid looking, but I was a kid and was biased towards cool warriors with animal heads, but I really have a much better appreciation for the effects and costume design of all of the godly villain crew than I used to. That said, The Anubis guy in particular still holds up. It's the dope Jackal head, the teal of the armor. It's what I picture when I picture Stargate. The Horus guys are also worth a mention with their awesome hawk jets. I couldn't pick a "Best" villain, so I went with the Coolest Looking.

Worst Aspect: Lacking Character

When I have fond thoughts of Stargate, they almost never revolve around the characters, or if they do it's in a juvenile manner. Who had cool armor, who had cool weapons, or who did the coolest thing? I have a hard time caring about these meandering people. They are inconsistent. They have no flaws that they work on or grow from. They are special because the script insists that it's so, and I don't really care if they succeed or fail at any point in the film. It's a shame because we have a good set up, and good lore. If at any point any body acted like a real person I think Stargate would be better remembered as a film than as the weird older sibling of a long running television series.

Summary

I'd like to say that Stargate succeeds at everything it's trying to do, but it doesn't. Stargate fails in the tragedy and pathos it attempts to create within it's characters; but it does succeed in almost every other way. Stargate is an engaging and exciting action movie. Stargate delivers on it's science fiction concept, and provides some fun fantasy lore to round out it's world building. Stargate is also a great looking (at most times) special effects spectacle. For all of those reasons, It is not a great film, but it is pretty darn good film.

Overall Grade: B

[dafukdidiwatch]

I’m actually pissed that this is a decent movie.

<A lot of spoilers>

Overview: Arctic Researchers/Scientists stumble on Nazis who live in the center of the earth who have survived by replacing their dying tissue for living ones in a bid for immortality.

And in order for me to talk about this film, I have to talk about this:

Fucking Sky Sharks.

I hate that movie.

I hate it So Much.

I bought it from a Walmart for $10 so what a waste of movie.

The first like, 10 minutes was the movie dragging on showing everyone in the plane in the worst way possible. An old swedish man watching shitty CGI sci-fi porn. A weird gang turn priest man which I for sure might have been the main character but had the weirdest backstory that goes no where and does nothing. Some drunk guy wanting to flirt with a stewardess and the joke is that she wasn’t a super model 20 something. So after going On and ON THEN the sharks come in to show how epic they are.

And they also suck ass. I couldn’t give a shit about the CGI this is a movie about nazi sky sharks I walked in not expecting quality.

Oh yeah, Nazi’s. Forgot to mention the Nazis. Because, you know, they made the sharks. And are also zombies who rose again to take over the world. And our first look is a female blond haired officer killing people in the longest and dullest way possible. Like, there is only so many ways you can decapicate a bunch of people with wires.

After that, move into the “plot” with random ass girl #1 and random ass girl #2 where girl #1 is also in the Antarctic (shocker) and finds a boat, goes in by herself without help/backup, finds out the zombies are not only in there, but also shark tanks because this is where they were raising the sharks.

So to recap: In the COLD NEGATIVE FROSTBITING SNOW COVERED DREADNAUGHT the nazis are not only alive and NOT freezing, but the great white sharks are also alive and NOT freezing. You can say bs science, I say bs movie.

Oh and you know what the sharks feed on?

Misogyny.

God this movie hates women so much. First, multiple porn shots/sexual harassment jokes on just the plane alone (again, first 10 minutes). Then the “sexy” female zombie commander because that’s what was in the Nazi Military: Women. Not saying shit about history or anything, just saying that I know a fetish when I see one. And the Random Ass Girl #1? The reason why she was at the boat in the first place is because she was on a solo rescue mission to help some researchers who found the boat. A Guy and A Girl. The Guy was like, killed normally or shot or something I couldn’t give a shit about. The Girl was stripped naked, hung upside-down by her foot, bare naked ass shown to us, as she is fed to the shark tank.

Yeah, real women friendly.

It also doesn’t help that when Random Ass Girl #1 gets stabbed with, I guess zombie venom for ReAsOnS, she has a shower scene where it shows her being affected and poisoned under her skin....but also how Hot she is by having it shot on her boobs, check, body stretching and curling to show ALL of her body. While under a show that’s in the middle of the fucking room like it’s Hannibal Lector’s bathroom.

And you that that would be the reason I hate this movie but it isn’t dammit. The movie was dull as hell. I’m only talking about the Misogyny for so long because it was the only thing that was actually worth mentioning. I didn’t give a shit about anything else!

The acting is bad and just monotone across the board. Apparently RAG#1 and #2 are like, rich spies from a super rich family corporation which took me a full as 20 minutes to realize. And they have no idea how the fuck to plot a movie! Finding out the sky sharks were because of Dear Old Granddad, results in THREE! SEPERATE! FLASHBACKS! EACH MORE BORING THAN THE LAST!!! I have no idea how you made working with NAZIS dull as shit but this movie found a way. Instead of having the history set in the beginning of nazis doing shit as a teaser to explain later, he just tells his fucking life story of how making Sky Sharks would save the Third Reich. And I Couldn’t Give A Shit.

It got so dull and bored that I literally fast forward through the entire movie to find interesting parts. Spoiler: there was none. Not even with more sharks like eating the world could it entertain me. I just fast forwarded to the very end, and only watched 30 minutes of a 90 minute movie. God I hate Sky Sharks.

So WHY am I bringing it up? Well, it really did set expectations and a bar for Nazis at the Center of the Earth. They both have rediculous titles that you can’t take seriously or expect “great things” from. They both deal with nazis, zombie-ish nazis, genetic research, scientists in the Arctic, and Nazi’s hiding in the Arctic. That is a lot, and I just watched Sky Sharks like 2 weeks before so this was very recent and absolutely in my head.

Which is WHY this movie was a very pleasant surprise.

We start with seeing Nazis doing action pact Nazi shit escaping for science! It even has that Wilhelm scream, but the movie has plot and vision. It didn’t make the nazis seem any more than being just army soldierd and has decent action and sets expectation for the rest of the movie.

And that’s like the big difference between this and Sky Sharks: The Treatment of the Nazis. The nazis here were treated, in my view, as powerful and dangerous. They are meticulous, uncaring, cold and distant. The head Nazi is actually Dr. Mengele, he is in this movie, and he is just so apathetic to everyone.

All the Nazi’s faces were covered in mask so you couldn’t see their faces, making them inhuman. And the first Nazi face we do see is Dr. Mengele as he just, slowly cuts the face off of a person. Methodically. Meticulously. He doesn’t even talk, doesn’t react as the person begs. Just does it. And was going to do it to the girl as well but because she kept talking science, he allowed her to live.

But it was close.

In the beginning it feels like two different movies because it cuts from two researchers who got kidnapped by Nazis surviving their own horror movie trying to escape, and the rest of the researchers being in a Survival Rescue Movie trying to find them. I honestly wanted to see more of the Nazi part because that was the more engaging section. It was filmed, framed, shot as a tense horror movie, where you don’t know if she will live or die.

I also want to approve of the lack of misogyny. Like, first, the Nazis are equal treatment terrible to everyone. They shot one of the researchers who wandered in because he was Jewish. (”I’m non-practicing” lol love that line). Second, the scenes that they did were filmed in a way to highlight the horror but not the sexiness of it. The guy and girl strapped to the table, they are both naked. We don’t see the whole naked body, just enough to establish it while censoring the rest. You see Dr. Mengele looking over them, but there isn’t sign of lust. He is viewing them both as just experiments (which also adds to the horror aspect but I digress). One of the girls ends up being thrown to the Nazi Officers to be raped and killed, but we don’t see that. She doesn’t have a shirt, but it isn’t films as a “sexy” moment, the camera doesn’t move or linger on her body. It is just a straight shot, where she tries to cover herself up. When they close in on her, crawling towards her, the camera focuses more on their approach than on her while at a distance. This is scary, but it isn’t sexualized. Which I approve and is a WAY PLUS from Sky Sharks.

This movie has an odd budget too. There is a lot of CGI. And it isn’t good. Not at all. It works to show things happening like CGI tanks...CGI snow/ice. CGI Robots and lasers. They don’t hide it at all. But then, they also have amazing makeup budget because the “ripping face scene” was amazing physical effects it looked so real. The Nazis are obviously frankenstein stitched up monsters, but they are well done in makeup and design. Like all the close up shit is amazing to look at.

Overall: It was an Alright Movie. Yes, there is plot. There is tension. There is fear trying to survive with the nazi. Bad CGI, and a bit campy at the end, but nothing to detract from the actual movie. It was a fun movie.

[supercasey]

Nomad of Nowhere Modern Twins AU Camping Shenanigans

I did this because I have fucking writer’s block and my new medication for my depression/anxiety is making me feel a bit sucky as I get used to it, so here, have some antics that I may or may not try writing/drawing sometime.

I’m gonna set this camping trip when Hunter and Skout are in high school (both 15) and Melinda is still in elementary school (9).

For context, Benjamin and Annabeth are absolutely nature enthusiasts- I mean, they built their own fucking house for crying out loud!- so camping trips aren’t all that out of place for them, but this time they insist that their oldest kids bring their friends from school along! (Last time they brought some of Melinda’s friends, they accidentally started a fire, and no one wants to relive that shit.)

Skout brings Toth, who’s nervous AF to meet Skout’s parents (she knows they’re pretty damn accepting and in a polyam relationship, but I doubt anyone’s all that excited to meet their significant other’s folks), while Hunter brings the Three Amigos, which of course includes Null, who he only just started dating in secret.

While Ben and Anna are really freaking hyped for the trip, Adrian is a bit less excited, as he fucking loathes outdoor activities of any kind (the family has countless pictures of them all together after a hike, and Adrian always looks close to passing out in them), but he’s excited to meet his kids’ friends!

The whole group road trips to a nice forest that they can camp in, but due to the size of their crew, they split into two vans: Benjamin, Annabeth, Skout, Toth, and Melinda are in one van, with Adrian, Hunter, Null, Santi, and Jethro are in the other.

The road trip is a fucking MESS; Ben and Anna keep arguing over directions (despite Skout offering her phone for GPS, also Ben can’t drive at all but Anna drives like a maniac), so they get lost for several hours.

In the meantime, Adrian’s van is loud AF, since the Three Amigos are a pretty rowdy bunch, and Hunter convinced his dad to let him choose the music, which is just Lemon Demon at top volume for several hours straight. Adrian is in hell and it’s Touch-Tone Telephone on repeat.

Thankfully, once they get to the campsite, things are looking up... except that Don Paragon’s family has their giant ass RV parked directly next to the family’s campsite, and Don brought Red Manuel along because his parents told him to bring a friend from school. Needless to say, none of the teens are happy to see each other outside of school.

Santi and Jethro almost get fucking lost in the woods at some point, but they end up finding a really nice little unpolluted lake to swim in when they do. They run and grab Hunter and Null to go swimming, and it’s fun until Don shows up and bitches about how since his family is wealthier, it’s his and (I guess) Red’s private lake to swim in (it isn’t), and how if they don’t leave he’ll call the cops on them (he wouldn’t).

During this rant, Toth and Skout finally catch up to the boys, and seeing Don Paragon doing his usual BS, Toth simply picks him up and tosses him into the lake, getting his fancy bathrobe and slippers soaked.

Don goes OFF, but gets cut off when Skout, who’s stronger than she looks, picks up Red and tosses him in on top of Don. Everyone laughs (even Red, though he’s smart enough to hide it), before continuing with their swim (though Don still bitches the whole time).

Meantime, the parents aren’t doing much better. Ben and Anna start engaging in a sort of “Parent Contest” with Don Paragon’s folks, trying to insist that they’re cooler parents/have better kids.

Ben vs Don’s Dad is a lot more hostile/direct, while Anna vs Don’s Mom is a lot more passive aggressive and soccer mom-like.

Ben: “Oh, yer son’s got straight A’s? Well mine can fuckin’ backflip ‘n clap at the same damn time! How ya like dat, Michael!?”

Anna: “Aw, Karen, your son is such a sweet boy! :) Remember the time he made Hunter cry, so Skout threw him off a jungle gym? :)) They grow up so fast! :)))”

Meanwhile, Adrian and the Paragon family’s butler shoot the shit over some beers and ignore their companions’ bullshit.

Despite all of the arguing earlier, Don’s folks are convinced that Hunter and Don are best friends for some reason, so they insist on doing a huge family cookout, which everyone else begrudgingly agrees to, if only because Ben is excited about eating free “rich people food” (which Adrian reminds him isn’t all that better than middle class food, but whatever).

In short; El Rey (Adrian’s dog) eats a bunch of raw hotdogs and pukes them up in Anna’s purse, Skout and Toth almost kiss but Hunter accidentally ruins it by playing his guitar right next to them, Melinda keeps sneaking punches at Don when no one’s looking because that bitch made her big bro cry a lot when he was younger, Ben accidentally sets his poncho on fire, and Null, Santi, and Jethro all get food poisoning from Adrian’s under-cooked hamburgers.

At one point, Nomad (Hunter’s cat) runs off after hearing a loud bang from the woods. At this point, it’s really late at night, and Nomad is a black cat, so no one can find him. Hunter goes into hysterics, as Nomad is his closest friend/therapy cat, so after all the parents go to bed, the teens agree to put aside their differences and go to find Nomad.

Don, of course, makes it about himself and insists he’ll find the cat first, and when he does, he expects Hunter (he makes a mean joke about Skout needing to do it for him) to give him a sincere thank you, and then an apology for his family’s horrid behavior towards him! With that, he storms off, Red Manuel hot on his heels but looking a bit... frustrated? How very weird.

Hunter is so freaked out, he just starts running through the woods looking for Nomad, but luckily for him, Melinda can keep up with him. She’s trying to get him to go back to the campsite, as he’s too worked up to be looking for Nomad, and after trying and failing to talk him into listening to her, Melinda simply sits down and fake-sobs, saying she’s scared. Snapped out of it by big brother instincts, Hunter picks her up and takes her back to camp to wait with her until someone finds Nomad.

Seeing as the Three Amigos are as sick as El Rey was earlier (oh dear god, did Anna flip about the puke in her purse), it’s up to Skout, Toth, Don, and Red to find Nomad.

Toth and Skout use the time to talk in privacy, discussing future plans and how this trip has gone. Skout is embarrassed, worried that Toth hated this trip/hates her family, while Toth is convinced she made a bad impression on Skout’s parents. It’s a bit awkward, but they manage to convey their worries to each other and have them reassured away.

During this moment, they end up in a nice little clearing with dandelions sprouting everywhere. Skout laughs, and says something about how although she thinks the Dandy Lion mascot at school is dumb, she’s always loved dandelions. Toth, in response, plucks the largest one and braids it into Skout’s hair.

Skout’s Honor finally gets their fucking kiss, since up until now it’s kept almost happening, but due to public embarrassment/awkwardness, they’ve held back. Now though, away from everyone, they get enough privacy to have their first ever kiss.

Of course, it doesn’t last long before Red Manuel pokes his head through the trees and asks what tf they’re doing. Both girls go scarlet, insisting it was nothing, while Red simply cackles.

Toth goes to punch him in the jaw, but stops mid-swing when Red, in a panic, holds up Nomad to stop her.

Both Toth and Skout are baffled, surprised that Red managed to catch Nomad. Toth, who’s never much liked Red, asks why tf he’s not trying to use Nomad as leverage over them, or better yet, why didn’t he give Nomad to Don so he could use the cat to bully Hunter some more.

For the first time ever, Red seems genuinely upset with Don, and vents to the couple that Don Paragon’s been an asshole to him the entire trip, and only brought him along to make himself look good in front of his parents. He goes on to say that Don ordered him not to talk in front of his folks, and although Red hated the very idea, he agreed because it was better than staying at home with his mom all summer.

Skout grows concerned immediately, and tries to ask about Red’s mom, but he clams up, insisting that Skout just take her brother’s dumb cat (who seems to really like Red) because he doesn’t want to listen to Hunter freak out anymore.

After Hunter is finally reunited with Nomad, he’s absolutely ecstatic, hugging his cat while dancing around with joy. Once Skout tells him that Red Manuel found Nomad, Hunter doesn’t hesitate to run and hug him. Red obviously enjoys the affection, but he tries to play it off nonetheless.

Don eventually finds out that Nomad was found, and freaks tf out about how he was supposed to find him, and that he was supposed to get an apology, dammit!

Toth fucking snaps, telling Don straight up that he’s a piece of shit and should just be happy that Nomad got found, to which Don says pointblank that he wishes Nomad had gotten eaten by a bear, if only so he could see that “R-slur mute’s” face when he found the cat’s remains. Hunter starts crying, horrified by the mental imagery, while Don laughs at him, calling Hunter a pussyboy for crying. Red Manuel, in his rage at his so-called friend’s terrible behavior, punches Don in the dick.

Don is Surprised Pikachu Face(TM), because what tf is Red doing? He’s supposed to be Don’s little yes-man! Tbh, everyone is shocked, and Red finally loses his shit, shouting that Don is an awful fucking friend, and that he resents even knowing him.

((Me? Craving a future Red Manuel Redemption Arc(TM) almost as much as Season 2 of NoN? It’s more likely than you think.))

By now, the parents start waking up, and Don’s dad asks his son what’s going on. Smirking, and with his back turned to his father, Don says that Red is going to be going home with Hunter’s family, as he believes he’s about to strand Red in the wilderness as payback.

Red is freaked out, and makes to beg for Don’s forgiveness, when Skout outright confirms that yes, Red is coming with them, because Red is their friend!

Don is shocked again, but his parents just shrug and tell everyone to go back to bed. Adrian and Ben (the only ones who woke up, because Anna’s a heavy sleeper) are confused, but when Skout tells them that Red needs a ride later, they just shrug and say something like “Eh, what’s one more fucking kid?”

Red is nervous as fuck the next morning, still reeling over what he said to Don, but everyone (even the Three Amigos, who are all still pretty sick) assure him that he did the right thing.

Ben, Anna, and Adrian agree to pack up a bit early that morning, on account of the Paragon family terrorizing them, the Three Amigos getting sick, and almost losing Nomad. However, to make up for the short and crazy trip, they offer to host a slumber party at their house for all the teens, which everyone is on-board with.

Red’s a bit hesitant to agree, and says they can just drop him off near his place and he can leave them be, but Ben, sensing the kid’s anxiety, assures him that he’s welcome to stay with them for the night. After Skout tells him the same thing (with Hunter nodding in agreement), Red agrees, and has an awesome time with everyone!

At the start of the next school year (sophomore year/10th grade), Red Manuel goes back to hanging out with Don Paragon, but he’s noticeably less mean to the twins, and even gets caught helping Hunter pick up his books a few times when Don knocks them out of his hands in the hall.

Sorry, this kinda ended up as more of an “I love Red Manuel, or at least, my characterization of him” rant, but oh well, I hope y’all like my dumb rambling anyways!

[purpletalewasteland]

Why do you believe jerklie is fake? As in depth as you can please. She’s the one factor I don’t feel confident in. I believe Gaylor, that toe is bs, that Kaylor was real at some point. Where I lose faith is that Karlie and Josh aren’t together. As ridiculous as the wedding was, sometimes they look happy together. Could be they’re just really good gay bff’s.

Sorry it took me awhile to answer, but I didn't want to just write some half-assed response and I have been busy...

To be totally honest, I don't actually know know, so I'll start by saying that. But everything about their interactions scream disgenuine to me, especially prior to the engagement. The biggest thing for me is just "gut", but that's a pretty weak argument that leaves a lot of holes, so I don't expect to convince anyone based on that. Look, I'm fully aware that my answers here are fuel for the anti's, because they're just not sound arguments, and moreso just based off observations and personal inferences. So take it all with a grain of salt.

The thing with these two, is that their interactions leave me the same way that "Shawmila" does. Feeling weird and icky and sad. I'll also say that I know exactly what you mean, because while I don't think they're a real couple, it seems like they're better at playing the game now. But anyway, a few reasons immediately come to mind.

1. She didn't really seem to acknowledge him for a long portion of their relationship. I understand being private, I really do. But if your answer to a question about Grace Kelly is asking where your prince charming is, all while you're in an actual long term relationship, is that really an appropriate reaction?  I of course understand making jokes, but that would be kind of hurtful, wouldn't it? And I don't need to mention that the guy happens to be rich, which is kind of a factor in the prince charming fantasy 🙄. Or when you get extremely awkward about being asked how to land a guy when you're so busy being a supermodel, and you avoid it by passing if off to the other girls, more than likely because you cant relate to the question whatsoever (and really could just answer in general terms without getting into your own "specifics")... It's just not typical of someone in such a long term relationship, whether or not you're private about it, whether or not you've got superb PR training. Then there's a lack of being publicly involved with him other than in random pap photos (see below), and also promoting a bunch of his investments.

2. The pap pictures. iirc, there was a post where you could see that she walked to his hotel and then they started their stroll for the paps, which is super odd behavior for a real couple. Why aren't you together to begin with, it's just weird to me. They never even put in effort to seem like a real couple in their early pictures, they just existed in one space at the same time. She was trying to build her brand and create a public association, but I think it's safe to say he was trying to do the same.

He was never pictured in her family gatherings or more personal/intimate events. If he was willing to be a public figure (why do you need pap photos and an entertainment based manager if you don't want to be involved in that world?), he was willing to be linked to her, and willing to be photographed with her, I don't know why you would draw the line at privacy.

And, it's weird how they seem(ed) to post pictures that have been chosen from an over-used batch of stock images, rather than natural, non professional/casual event pictures of the two of them.

3. Then they took their previous strategies and started amping it up during, and prior to, the engagement era. The pap photos increased, suddenly they were pictured being "intimate" and kissing (ew), there were more frequent mentions, she actually started acknowledging him, it was all amped up. Yes, one could argue that by becoming more serious, they decided to make their relationship more serious and bring it into the spotlight. But they had already been together for several years, so I don't understand why that would make a difference, unless they were just super casual for years and just using the relationship for public relations ? That still stinks a bit to me.

4. Included in this increased effort was a very quick engagement, and then a half assed wedding. To me, it seems natural that if you're not rushing to get engaged, you wouldn't rush to tie the knot. You would give your damn designer more time than a rush order for 3 weeks, would you not ? And why was that such a short timeline ? Why even go through with the first one if you're planning on waiting for a bigger one later ? I mean, why?? It just doesn't add up. Clearly there was some kind of deadline happening behind scenes, even if you think they're real, something was going on there. I also personally believe that it wasn't supposed to leak out that day, and we probably would have seen a different unfolding of events had things gone differently. The latergram wedding video at least showed there was more than what we had originally seen, but I also find it strange that the photos from that day have been the same.

4. Despite this increase in effort and the "wedding", the fact still remains: there's no chemistry. I'm sorry, but there isn't. That's not a reach. It's not wishful thinking. I'm not being rude. They just don't have chemistry. Those kissing photos ? It looks awkward and uncomfortable. That tells me something is up. I know it's mostly photos, but I still don't see genuine connection. It's just not there. This is the biggest factor to why I personally don't think they're real, whatsoever. There's one photo of them in particular where it's just so glaringly obvious they have no feelings toward each other and just can't possibly be each other's type. But maybe that's presumptuous of me. I hate stereotyping and making judgments, so I won't say it, but I'm sure you can pick up what I'm laying down.

I know that doesn't answer your question, because you want to know why I still think they are fake, despite Karlie's sudden acting chops and they're commitment to the stunt.

But I have a few other things to add.

For one thing, Karlie's public persona shifted around the time of the engagement. She used to be very friendly with other models, she had lots of friends in Taylor's crowd, she posted more genuine moments of having fun, etc, and more recently, a lot of that side of her has gone dark. When she posts something about friends, it's usually another client of Scooter's, or someone with whom she has a business relationship. I believe this is because her friends didn't want to partake in the farce, and don't want to be associated with that nastiness. It's a natural progression for a model to stop walking in shows when their career amps up, but it seems like her entire approach to her career and business has shifted around the same time. I think she's focusing on being more of an influencial figure in the media, rather than a model per se. I do think these things are connected. I think she finds a level of comfort and connection to the industry by being associated with that crew.

On that note, is it possible that they're like a fake fake couple, as in legitimately pretending to everyone that they're together even though everyone knows they aren't, and they sleep in separate bedrooms and it's all just convenience and there's no sex but there's an open door policy for both parties to just do what they want in their own free time and probably have side relationships? Sure. But if that's the case, then I would think Karlie wouldn't be in her own long term relationship with Taylor.

I do think it's possible that they are actually friends. In fact, I think this is very likely, as she doesn't look like she wants to die when she's pictured with him. She seems comfortable enough traveling with him and doing these stunts, so something in her has shifted to give her the ability to switch codes so well. Of course we don't want to think that, but I think she's probably just bit the bullet and decided to make it easier on herself.

So where does that leave us ? Obviously there's a lot about this situation that we know nothing about. The guy is a crook, we can all agree on that. Sadly, in Hollywood/wealthy land, being a shady fuck doesn't have quite the same reaction that it does in the real world. Money talks, connections talk, and so does that yacht money. Why is Karlie a willing player in this game ? Has she realized that the Trump association clearly doesn't cause as many issues as we may have assumed back in 2016? Has she chosen to continue this sherade because it's done wonders for their goal of erasing Kaylor connections? Has she chosen the path of least resistance because it's been a long few years and she's too tired to fight anymore? Has she decided she doesn't have the ability to reach the desired heights of her career with just her own hard work and merit ? Is she actually just not a good person and totally fine with rolling around in corrupt money and laughing straight to the bank ? *This one hurts*, but has she lost a big part of her life and has thus decided she no longer has anything to lose, so why the fuck not ? I don't know. All these things run through my mind, and I wish we had some form of an answer, but sadly don't think we will anytime soon.

I really don't know, anon. I read through my answers here and realize I'm not actually so convinced myself, anymore. Of the four things I said yesterday I was so sure of, this one is the one I'm least sure of, though I would think if they were "real" it would be more of the platonic scenario I described above, and not an actual loving relationship. Karlie is a loose cannon. We don't have brilliant lyrics to analyze and look to for answers. We don't have a history of patterns to look at, to try and find holes in the narrative. It's just a different game here.

Now, if the entire plan all along has been to erase the Kaylor connection, to even make us Kaylors doubt, then they've done a brilliant job of that. Because it's glaringly obvious that she's losing our support and faith.

I'm sorry that I can't give you more than that.

[bigskydreaming]

Different anon.. precious things is one of the biggest Dick & Damian writers, mostly fluff and some heavy angst, not many other stuff.. She's Dawn'sEternalLight on ao3. Cdelphiki is Tim centric. Don't know about mother of darkness. I've only read one short Dick & Dami fic by cdelphiki but she is very popular. Anyways have you read anything on ao3 by Fido the finch? Saw an angsty fic during Dick & Damian week... Anyways x2, I understand that you dislike dickb*bs? May I know why? Simply curious.

Thanks for letting me know! I DO recognize the name Dawn’sEternalLight and have read a bunch of her stuff on Ao3 and liked a lot of her fluff! I’m not sure if I’ve bookmarked any of her fics yet on my bookmark recs list, but they’re all good, that I’ve read so far, and she’s got enough and I’m still working my way through a lot of the older fics on the site that like....I probably have just been waiting til I get to one of her fics that’s like “Yes, this one above all the others!” to bookmark, because like....I mostly like to just bookmark one or two fics by the same author, because its easy to find an author’s other works when looking to see if they’ve written anything else, and I try and keep my bookmarks page relatively short because once it gets too long it becomes intimidating to my ADHD brain and I don’t even use it anymore, and I tend to assume other people are like that too, lol.

I’m not sure about Fidothefinch....again, I feel like I recognize the name, but not in any specific context, like, it could have been on Ao3 or could have been I saw their name on a tumblr post somewhere....nothing specific is springing to mind for them, but I’ll check them out as well, thanks.

As for Dick/Babs......tbh, I wouldn’t say I dislike them, in the sense that I’m not totally opposed to them and could be lured in by the right fic or dynamics....its just that on their own, based just on their canon dynamics, that ship just....isn’t my favorite? Like, I don’t really have specific complaints or criticisms about it, its more just a general vibe where like, for whatever reason or likely multiple reasons, the general tone and feel of them in canon just doesn’t gel with what I look for or like most in Dick’s relationships specifically. I like Babs in and of herself, but Dick’s one of my Big Four all time fave characters and the one I project on to most, and thus am REALLY here for, so like, not gonna lie, he’s always my priority when reading fics and canon, and I feel like both tend to prioritize Babs in their relationship to a degree that’s just slightly uncomfortable to me? 

Like I freely admit there’s personal projection and bias at work here, but....I’ve always kinda implicitly read something somewhat patronizing from Babs to Dick in most of their canon relationship issues and fics of them. Its like there’s this idea that Babs can do no wrong, and she’s never at fault for any of the problems in their relationship, its always just Dick and his Issues, which she of course does not contribute to in any way....or at least that’s how it feels to me. 

I mean, people mention the age gap between them, and I don’t think its enough of a gap or one that in the right contexts can’t work, so its like not a dealbreaker in and of itself...theoretically...its just in practice, in how the relationship is most commonly executed in everything I’ve read.....the mention of the age gap tends to go hand in hand with this unspoken understanding that Babs is of course more mature than Dick and older and wiser, and that its ultimately his juvenile behavior that causes most of their commitment issues, and like....when you’re talking about a guy who has been engaged in adult heroics and life or death situations since he was ten years old....the ‘he’s too juvenile to really be her equal’ take to ANY degree just flat out doesn’t work for me, y’know?

So its not that I’m strictly opposed to it or anything, its just....I’ve yet to ever come across a definitive story that really SELLS it for me and brings it to life in a way that I’m like...yes, this....I had not considered this depiction before but now that I’ve seen it or thought about it I love it and want more.

Does that make sense?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Do you know about 12 parts of Apocalypse arc released on Black Survival Medium during Team Mode alpha test? It was the first time Eva was featured, and they mentioned about human-based monster called Scylla, which 6 characters originally had to fight in Seoul. It spread deadly disease over the continent, causing a catastrophe mentioned in manhwa. Now, remember gigant reptile that appeared in the Bottomless Pit? I wonder, what do you think about Aglaia project's and Angelica's goals now.

Mhmm, I’d vaguely heard about it (all I knew was “they fight a big monster, maybe a kaiju, in seoul”), though I didn’t know it was in the BS medium, I think I’ll check to read it

It’s partially why I picked Seoul as the place the subjects would be sent to if they decided to make them adapt to normal life instead of Japan (which overall has more subjects that come from it and has a language that’s more commonly spoken than korean) or the united states (which has the most subjects beyond debate with six, when japan has four, and has the language that’s considered the standard you have to learn)

And I do remember the reptile monster, though I haven’t read bottomless pit in a while, I don’t enjoy reading it again and again like the main manghwa so I only re-read it when I need to (i think right now is a time where I need to since I already forgot about a lot of it)

I don’t quite know what her goals are beyond the immortal body, but considering she made a monster that makes people get sick, I imagine she’s trying to make life beyond humans and would be the person who created skynet if she was into programming instead of science

I can understand wanting to make an immortal body and wanting to make all of humanity immortal, especially after seeing people talk about how the ten plagues are happening again and feeling the mortality of being human (the whole thing started during world war 2 so I can see why they’d start remembering death), and I can see how they think making adults kill children (and vice versa because we’re not ageist or anything) is for a good cause, but I still think they went to extremes when they didn’t need to, like with making them kill each other, and I’ve seen enough “humans create life, are bad parents, and proceed to die” movies to believe trying to create life beyond humans is a very bad idea, scientific curiosity or not

Personally, I see the story as another sort of “humans play god and toy with human lives, creating endless suffering” and “war is hell” type thing, and so I don’t quite have a lot of interest in what exactly Angelica wants to do, and what exactly her motivations are. I know the basics:she wants to create immortal humans, she made a big monster and a bunch of evil dogs/bears/green haired ladies/what have you, she frequently manipulates the subjects and likely even the researchers (I have my doubts she’d have many people working for her if they always knew her goals, so I imagine at least some of them stay for the good cause-making humans immortal, ergo making us all immune to the imminent apocalypse-, but feel like it’s gone too far still, and pity the subjects greatly for being bound to suffer so much for their cause; in the research notes, it’s easy to assume Orlando was one of those before deciding it was too much and bailing).To me, knowing that is enough. It’s all I need to know to understand why they put so many innocent people through the pain of death, betrayal, and distrust. While she’s fairly interesting, she could be replaced with Xehanort and I wouldn’t mind because it’s the consequences of the actions that I find interesting. It’s kind of a means to an end as a villain plot, like how they see the more brutal experiments as means to an end.

It’s why I actively try to find out more about the characters’ backstories and relationships with each other, but only know about the researchers and Aglaia what I need to know, what is easy to find or deduce, or what someone else tells me. I still enjoy knowing about the lore because it’s interesting, I’m a curious fellow, and there is no such thing as knowing too much, but I don’t actively seek it out like with the Aglaia’s pass stuff, or the research backgrounds, or any sort of manghwa I can find. It’s why characters who are bad people or do bad things like Jackie, Nathapon and JP don’t bother me (despite my raking over the coals for their worst behavior I don’t actually dislike them for it), but boring or underwritten characters like Echion, Camilo and Eva do bother me; I’m already invested in the idea that this is about people being driven to extremes, so I’m far more lenient with whether the characters I like do bad things, but if I don’t find the characters engaging to begin with, then I don’t feel much about anything that happens to them.

This, uh, got long. In short, don’t make kaiju, don’t make kids have to kill each other, even if I get it still, and it’s very interesting to analyze.

and if aglaia’s pass didn’t require a level of gameplay i doubt i can reach i would play the heck out of it, i wish i hadn’t accidentally entered hot pot and fountain pen because i wanna see that shoichi and sissela found family plot-

[thebachelordiaries]

Two Engagements and a Funeral: ‘The Bachelor’ Premiere Recap

So here it is...what Bachelor producers have been waiting for since they created this show: a virgin Bachelor.

There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. As we all know it’s a social construct. Colton is clearly a virgin by choice, and like a girl said on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s podcast, he’s definitley gotten a bunch of bl*w j*bs in his life.

It’s annoying when people fixate on someone’s virginity. Kind of like during my freshman year of college when every guy I rejected would tell me I’m going to “die a virgin.” Well jokes on them because I’m still alive, but I digress.

What’s the opposite of 10 pounds of sh*t in a 5 pound bag? Whatever that word is, it perfectly described episode 1 of The Bachelor. The premiere was 90 minutes of content strung out into three hours. It’s not like my time is precious, but if you’re going to make us sit for three hours, at least keep me glued to the screen.

The only good thing about this unnecessarily long episode was the Chris Harrison montage, which got me my first viral tweet of the season:

My tweet was like seven likes short of 3k likes, but I’m not obsessing over it or anything...

I enjoyed this premiere when I wasn’t watching random people I don’t know get engaged. It had all the makings of a great premiere: a girl in a sloth costume, some “villain” interrupting Colton multiple times, an annoying amount of virgin jokes, at least two beauty queens, and not one, not two, but THREE kisses on night one. Not bad for a virgin who can’t drive. The only thing missing was the drunk girl, but we did have a Cinderella, so that’s close enough.

I never know how to write about the premiere. There are 30 (THIRTY!!!) contestants. There’s no way I can write thoroughly about every single one. And it’s not like all 30 of them were memorable. 

A special few got video intro packages:

Cassie— a California blonde who is a speech pathologist (but not really because she needs more education). She surfs and looks like Hillary Duff a la Lizzie McGuire days.

Hannah B.— an Alabama beauty queen who seems cracked out on too much coffee, but for some reason I really like her. She felt the need to mention she only kissed four guys despite not being a virgin. Children, keep some things to yourself, ok?

Katie— She’s a dancer from the “east coast.” I like how The Bachelor just glosses over the northeast, but focuses heavily on someone’s southern roots. Rude!

Heather— her occupation is “Never Been Kissed.” That’s all you will ever need to know about her. If producers don’t force her to kiss Colton by at least episode two and then change her occupation to “Been Kissed,” then they failed at their jobs.

Onyeka— She comes from a Nigerian family and claims she “doesn’t care” what people think of her. I highly doubt that.

Nicole— Why do I just want to give her a hug? Nicole hails from Miami, so she’s bilingual with a nice accent. Also, her brother has autism and she says they’re a “package deal.” Be still my heart.

Kirpa— The dental hygiene jokes have been played out. I want no further mention of her profession from here on out. 

Demi— Here we go. We found the girl who is carrying this season. Demi is a little firecracker whose mom is in prison. Her mom is expected to get out soon. Could you imagine that hometown date? The Bachelor may finally get its Emmy.

Memorable limo entrances

Demi was first out the limo, which means she may be a strong contender. She said she hasn’t dated a virgin since “she was like 12″ which is like, kind of concerning? I hope she wasn’t serious, or else I’m gonna like, call the cops. She seems very humble.

Caelynn, who was Miss USA first runner-up (WTF is she doing on this show?), came out the limo in her “Miss North Carolina” sash, but turned it to reveal a “Miss Underwood” on the other side. I guess that means she’s vying to become Colton’s sister.

Sydney quit her job to come here and somehow thinks she made the right choice. Big mistake. Huge.

Cassie came out in a floral dress that seemed way too casual for the occasion, and also out of season. She is however clearly getting a good edit considering the lovey-dovey music that accompanied her entrance.

Kirpa just looked classically beautiful. She had her hair french-braded, which in a world of beachy waves was nice to see. Also she wore a gorgeous sparkly purple dress. I was a fan.

Kaitlyn came out carrying a balloon that looked like an apple. She popped it and told Colton, “I just popped your cherry,” however we all know it wasn’t a cherry balloon.

Katie did a V-card card trick.

Alex came out like a sloth— literally and figuratively. She wore a sloth costume and moved/spoke at a very slow pace. I know some people enjoyed this bit, but I personally did not.

Tracy, a wardrobe stylist, called herself the “fashion police” yet wore a cutoff wife beater. Is it possible for her to arrest herself? 

Bri— we all got to see her limo entrance leading up to the premiere as it was promoted on social media. And her entrance went extremely viral: she pretended to have an Australian accent to “do what she can to stand out.” I respected her hustle.

Catherine brought Lucy her 10-year-old Pomeranian with her. She is the Real Housewife of the Bachelor Mansion and obviously this season’s villain.

Important stuff that happened inside the mansion

Colton kissed three girls (3! THREE!) By Hannah B.’s standards, he just needs to kiss one more girl and then he’s no longer a virgin. I call that basic math. He kissed Caelynn, Katie and Hannah G. I will admit Katie looked very thirsty for that kiss. She was very much up all in his personal space. Colton also looked like he wanted to kiss Cassie, but she wasn’t really giving him the opportunity. He kissed Hannah G. after he gave her the first impression rose. I don’t want to brag, but I knew he was going to give it to her after they first spoke.

Side bar: Hannah G. looks like and has mannerisms similar to Heidi Pratt. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I feel a major relief after it clicked for me.

Catherine interrupted Colton about four times. Clearly this was a produced move, but yeah, this doesn’t make her very likable among the other girls.

Rose Ceremony

About seven girls went home: sloth girl (bless up), some girl who came dressed up as Cinderella, Devin the TV reporter who I knew wasn’t going to last, Tahzjuan, and other girls who don’t matter.

Rose order is pretty important, so here it is:

Caelynn

Katie

Alex B

Hannah B

Onyeka

.....

i 

forget

the

rest

My top 5 predictions based on the first night in no particular order:

Hannah G.

Caelynn

Cassie

Demi

Katie

Wildcards: Alex B, Onyeka, Hannah B.

Wait— I forgot about the most important celebrity doppelganger of them all: Caelynn and Furby

Who is your favorite contestant so far? Comment below or DM me.

[j2littleshits-blog]

Kourtney’s submission

Hahaha! I just saw her newest bee picture! My goodness she is certainly wonder woman! It’s so funny to me because with her first two she was always talking about how she was so busy and couldn’t do things.(1) The award show J, D and J went to she couldn’t attend because she had a baby and toddler at home. Her friend was setting up a walk for cancer but she couldn’t attend because she was pregnant (with T). Even D made a comment about how she couldn’t tweet as much because of little J.(2) But now all of a sudden they have all the time in the world for everything and anything. I wish I could look at her Instagram and see the sincerity behind it but I can’t. It’s just too much. Everything is too carefully photographed, too carefully worded, even the placement of the photos is carefully done.(3) She’s trying very hard to come off as the perfect wife/mother/whatever but all she’s doing is coming off as fake. Hmmm, I think the next picture will be her posing with honey and how important it is to either buy organic honey(4) or to ya know, make your own. That’s what all good people do ;-)!

I never disliked G, I wasn’t her biggest fan but I didn’t have a reason to not like her. I much preferred K’s rendition of the character but if we’re being completely honest I hated the character because of all the shit she did! Let me step back and talk about why I started to dislike G and I’ll get back to R_by in a few. When they started dating it didn’t bother me, I did find it a bit odd J was jumping into a relationship so soon after his failed engagement to long time girlfriend S.(5) But I figured he’s a big boy and knows what he’s doing in his personal life so I left it at that. But then as time went by I realized this girl lies about everything! Here are some of my favorite G lies…

Says she’s a HUGE Sea_awks fan, the boys had jerseys, she follows the team on twitter and they follow her. Yet when she goes to a Sea_awks game she wears the other teams (C_wboys) hat.(6) Yeah it’s your husbands team, but who cares? Is he that obsessive with them that you can’t wear your teams gear? Doubtful. Supports J’s charity (A Dogs Rescue, I’m sorry I can never remember the name of it)(7) and brags how “all his (J’s) and now all our dogs are adopted”. Huh. Funny because she purchased her two dogs and their new dog Arl_ came from a breeder. I’m sure they went through the proper channels when purchasing him but it’s still not adopting him which is something she had previously claimed they do. Says that she always wanted to be an actress, there was nothing she wanted more, that’s all she’s ever wanted. Goes on twitter and says her dream was to play soccer. According to their ‘people’ their engagement and whatever pictures were all stolen. Come to find out she tells Dress Like G ladies how the photos were released with her knowledge and it didn’t bother her they were seen by the public.(8) Last but not least I love love love how she was invited to do a con, agreed and then backed out due to an audition but somehow a rumor was spread that she and baby T were being threated with death threats.(9) Yet she never felt the need to squash that rumor.

They’re all little lies that are easily overlooked but when you listen to them all at once it’s like why? Why lie about such stupid things? Or just be so inconsistent with your stories. That has and always will be my biggest issue with her and I’ll never be able to take what she says to heart because I’m never sure if she’s being truthful or just lying again.

Back to the S_N issue and why I think she never mentioned the A_F campaign. This fandom treats her with kid gloves and honestly acts like she’s a fragile being! Now, to be honest, G portrays herself this way and so does J. She talks about (during her podcast) she would have panic attacks during auditions, she’s also said that she has trouble accepting criticism and felt bad that people disliked her R_by so much.(10) Now, I’m not actress, but it seems to me if you’re going into acting you’ve got to learn to accept these things and move on. J told everyone to be nice to her when she first got on twitter, thanks fans for being nice at cons and is constantly reminding people how grateful he is that we’re kind to her. You can’t say anything against her acting without the fandom coming down on you. You can’t have anything but a positive attitude towards her without the fandom getting upset.

Someone once said how the con people were sexist and how they wanted to petition to have G have a panel. The one lady from Dress Like G said that G told her that she doesn’t want to do a con because it’s J’s thing and she doesn’t want to take it away from him.(11) I think she didn’t want to talk about the A_F campaign because not only did she not want to make it about her but because she just didn’t want to receive any backlash.(12) People could claim she was only doing it because she wanted attention or something and that’s just BS. My god, you’re almost 40 years old and you care THAT much what a bunch of strangers think? Damn. You can’t even retweet something? Say thanks for the support? Nothing. Not a damn thing. But J says fuck it to those that hate on him for supporting her shit and does it anyway. It’s sad to say this but I think she has no backbone when it comes to this fandom. She just seems like she tip toes around as to not receive some sort of hate due to supporting her man. But she’ll proudly brag about her perfect life because it’s all for her lifestyle website.

She’s just incredibly self centered and I truly feel sorry for J. Somehow, someway she always makes things about her. Never once have I seen her make a post on any SM that wasn’t directly correlated to her. Even in her podcast she mentioned A_F and brought it back to her and how she’s been in therapy all her life to try and get her to express herself. I don’t know where she got this notion that the world revolves around her but that’s why she won’t bring up A_F. She doesn’t want the backlash and because she would much rather talk about herself. I’ve said it before and I stand by it, she has absolutely no part of her life that doesn’t include J.(13)

Hi again Kourtney! I’m a little scared you might be a huge G fan! LOL JK, it’s because you remember her things so well, which I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, FOREVER!

Here’s my little side notes (according to the numbers I added above) :

Ding ding ding!

Speaking of this, I’m still side-eyeing those beard stans who claimed that the beards are not at M.S’ wedding (19th November 2016) because they’re pregnant. For D I can give her a pass, but G? She was doing all the incredible-super-mama stuff at that time! & flying all the way to give birth in Seattle? Oh come on, they were not attending the wedding because they aren’t the Js’ plus one, simple as that.

Exactly! Here’s my 3rd post back when I made this blog in March. Since the very first moment, her photos are carefully set up.

LMFAO organic honey! I’m dying 😂

Me too. I’m not yet a tinhat that time and the news completely shocked me. Personally I like S a lot, now I’m happy she found her true love.

Remember the Obama & Romney thing? ;)

You were so close, it’s called A Dog’s Life Rescue :)

SO! MANY! TIMES! I lost count on exactly how many times her photos were “leaked” but later on her biggest stans will get a pass from her and be like “it’s ok to post, G doesn’t mind”. I’m sure y’all won’t forget the latest one- baby O. Same plan, same moves.

I’m not saying we should neutralize hate moves but I believe she doesn’t do cons for many reasons, death threats isn’t one of them.

I hate 3.0 since day1 because she acts nothing like 1.0. After knowing she aimed to act differently, I’m like “ok you ruined this character :-/ ”

It’s the only thing we can see the boys being happy and true to themselves. See what happened after Asylum 2015? I hope they do some contracts for this to prevent my cupcakes being too stressed! >:(

I think she didn’t mention it because she cares nothing and KNOWS NOTHING about this campaign, which was shown in the Winc_ester Bro radio quite well ;)

By this time can we all agree she only needs J when she needs attention? Or she only gets the attention when she mentions J? That’s quite legit to me ;)

Thanks for your submission again, Kourtney. Many of us like your submits a lot (Of course me too!), you always bring up old important things that we probably forgot, to remind us why we don’t like G, not only because she’s a beard but also because she’s not a likeable person AT ALL.

[ultimatehopebagel-moved]

Hiya! Is your new icon your self-insert now? Can you tell more about your self-insert OC? I'm interested //

ANON BLESS YOUR SOUL THIS IS SO SWEET AAAAAAAAAAAAA???????

OK OK WELL I’M GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC THIS IS A LITTLE LONG

((FOR THOSE ON MOBILE YOU GOTTA OPEN THIS POST IN BROWSER TO SEE))

WELL Here’s her full design (I was too lazy to draw her from behind bc it looked ugly so just take those notes).

Her name is Eri Katsuki, (Eri is first name, Katsuki surname) which is based on my actual name. (First name three letters + begins with E and last/surname begins with K.)

Her talent is the Ultimate Voice Actress. I made her for v3 (I see hate on the 17th student bs but idc let me have fun got dang it). She’s not one for talking much, and will only speak up if something’s on her mind.

However, she exaggerates her problems a lot, and is very sensitive to hurtful remarks. Her problems are exaggerated so that people will notice, though it usually just makes things rather awkward (which is one reason she doesn’t like to speak much; as she just makes things awkward in the end). 

Eri has hard times denying people’s requests. If someone asks her to say something in a different voice, she usually will unless it involves sensitive topics or any curse words. (Ouma tries using this to his advantage at times to get her to say weird shit just for fun.) 

Her height is 5′3″, which is 1″ shorter than I am irl  (5′3″ = 161 cm? I don’t know measurements man.) and 112lbs (about 51 kg). I made her birthday the same as mine bc self insert let me live gdi.

An explanation for her blood type:

“If you have type A blood, you’re more likely to have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in your body, according the National Institutes of Health.“ (x)

Eri likes stuffed rabbits, though she really just loves any kind of stuffed animal at all. It’s just that she finds rabbits the most comforting, and finds herself more at home and calm when around them. (They remind her of her pet rabbit, Snowflake.)

She dislikes loud noises a lot, as they easily give her headaches and can overall ruin her mood. She hates yelling the most, especially when curse words are involved.

Speaking of curse words, they’re something that she cannot handle well. She gets rather uncomfortable around those who frequently swear, and has a hard time being around those kinds of people for long. (So basically if she’s anywhere near Iruma she’s gone bye binch) If she ever swears herself, it’s when she’s reached a complete breaking point and cannot handle her stress and/or anger anymore. 

As for her talent, her voice acting started from when she was younger. Her parents weren’t home much, and she usually had the house for herself. During those times, she’d usually watch cartoons. (She says her favorite is this one with a bunch of little monsters that fight each other, as a reference to the series Pokemon.) Eri would always find it enjoyable to try out all the voices she heard, as she had nothing else to really do. She was much better at certain voices compared to others, though she still has a bit of a range in her voice. She mostly does more feminine voices, though is sometimes able to pull a male’s voice as well.

Her relationship with the V3 cast -

She’s good friends with Kiibo, Gonta, Angie, and Tsumugi.

She also gets along fine with Himiko, Ryouma, Rantarou, and Kaede.

She’s neutral terms with Korekiyo, Maki, Kirumi, and Shuuichi

She’d rather stay away from Tenko, Iruma, Kaito, and Kokichi.

Upon first seeing him, Eri was rather afraid to speak to Kiibo. However, after she finally introduced herself, she found him rather pleasant to speak to, and she grew more attached and liked talking to him more and more.

She has a phobia of bugs, though tries to get over it the best she can to not upset Gonta, as she finds him really sweet and would like to be better friends with him.

Angie tends to make Eri afraid at times with her mentions of blood sacrifices, though when she looks past that Eri can still consider Angie to be a friend of her’s. She enjoys her energy and positivity, as it is something refreshing in a situation like a killing game.

She considers Tsumugi to be her “best friend”, and is one of the few people in the academy she can fully trust. She likes how passionate she is about what she loves, and they often find themselves talking about cartoons they both like.

At one point, Eri begins to question if she has a crush on the girl, though attempts to brush it off to not ruin the friendship.

Eri finds Himiko rather easy to talk to with her lazy nature. The two don’t speak much, as Himiko claims talking wears her out, though when they do, they usually have nice conversations.

Conversations with Ryouma don’t happen that often, and they’re usually over nothing big. However, Eri finds him to be fine to talk to, despite his unsettling appearance matched with his unfitting voice. These two are, at the least, fair acquaintances.

She enjoys Rantarou’s calm, laid back nature. When engaged in conversation, the two usually just make small talk, though they both find it to be enjoyable at the least. 

I WILL FINISH THE REST LATER AS I FIND TIME AND MOTIVATION though for right now this is all I will write. Really, all I have left are the rest of the character relationships and that’s it.

Terribly sorry for the late response, anon ! This took a while to write and I took quite long breaks between writing aha….

 I’m so glad you were interested in my character though !!! Have a wonderful day dear !!!

[mlmcompanies]

You’re probably here because you’ve been dreaming about a new life… but instead of creating it you just keep passing out and waking up to the same life every day.

Burn your vision boards and trash your bucket lists. Drop the get-rich-quick schemes and “get skinny while eating pizza all day!” diets.

There’s no magic to success. It’s hard work… but that’s not all it is (although you do need to stop being lazy).

It’s about smart work. You know the old saying “80% of your success comes from 20% of your efforts”. Being more successful is about working toward your goals in a smarter way so that all of your efforts lead to success and you have more time to live your life instead of wasting away in an office.

For similar articles, check out the best online business ideas, the best small business ideas, and how to start a business.

Travel bloggers, 25 year-old CEOs, and stay-at-home-moms making six figures. It’s never been easier for just about anyone to achieve their wildest dreams. This list favors means to success that are digital, automatable, and scalable, because that’s how you squeeze the most success out of your efforts.

41. Take action now

If you want to make a change, start by taking action right now (well, after you finish this article). If you’ve ever read The Confidence Code by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, you already know that taking action is the #1 difference between people who have confidence and people who don’t. (1)

Put down the self-improvement books and blogs every once in a while. Doing something, ANYTHING, even if you fail, will help you build the belief in your ability to succeed.

40. Quite chasing shiny objects

While you’re out there taking action, make sure you focus on one thing at a time. Too many people make absolutely no progress because they start on their cool new business idea, give up when the novelty wears off, then leap to the next cool thing.

Folks, success isn’t easy to come by. If we’re talking business have to pick one business idea and go all in on it, even when it starts to become mundane. Otherwise, you’ll never taste success.

39. Get new friends

We’ve all heard it before: “if you want to see who a person is, look at their friends.”

You don’t have to drop your old friends, but you should be looking for new ones who live their lives the way you want to. Surrounding yourself with successful people is the single most underrated key to success. You might even persuade your old friends to join you on the journey to success.

38. Develop grit

Angela Duckworth, professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, studied everything from West Point cadets to high power salespeople to national spelling bee competitors to figure out the number one predictor of success in all of these different contexts. Intelligence? Nope. Good looks? Social connections? Nope. (2)

Grit. What Duckworth defines as a combination of passion and perseverance for long-term goals is actually far more important than talent. And unlike IQ, it can be learned over time.

37. Network, network, network

When a high profile exec is flipping through hundreds of resumes, emails, and business pitches every day, connections are the only way to make sure your name stands out. Start by using social media (Twitter, Facebook groups, and LinkedIn are great for this) to engage with people in your industry.

36. Get out of your comfort zone

They say that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Get used to being uncomfortable because staying inside your comfort zone will doom you to a life of mediocrity.

How do you get out of your comfort zone? Do something minorly uncomfortable (but socially and legally acceptable) every day. Being uncomfortable is a sign you’re growing.

35. Get a daily routine

Now I’m not talking about going back to that 9-5 BS, but sticking to a daily routine that promotes good habits is the foundation for building bigger habits for success. Even the smallest habits, like waking up a little earlier or meditating before bed, can totally change your life.

According to Business Insider, one of the most popular habits among highly successful people from business mogul Kat Cole who became VP of the Hooters corporation at age 26 to Huffington Post founder Ariana Huffington is about as simple as it gets: drink a glass of water every morning when you wake up.

34. Get in shape and stay healthy

Hit the weights, run on the treadmill, ball on the court. Whatever you do for exercise, being fit gives you more confidence, more energy, better health, reduces stress, releases those feel-good endorphins, and it makes you look good, all of which can contribute to your success in a big way.

Plenty of rich and successful people would agree with me. (3)

33. Vet your social media feeds

Good chunks of many social media feeds are people complaining about whatever they can complain about, or showing off the highlight reels of their life. Unfollow all these people and replace the negativity by following people you look up to or strive to be like (aka successful people). You’ll get plenty of motivation and education delivered straight to your timeline every day.

It’s similar to surrounding yourself with successful people, just with your social media.

32. Don’t be afraid of failure

Part of being successful is failing a bunch of times. If you’re scared of failure, you’re never gonna get anywhere. Instead, you gotta think of failure as a chance to learn something.

It goes back to the tip at the top of this article. Don’t wait around. Act, fail, brush yourself off, and try again.

31. Trash bad habits

According to Marketing Strategist Jerome Knyszewski (4), the two most important bad habits to avoid if you want to be successful are saying yes when you should say no and not planning for the future.

While you’re at it, quit smoking, throw out the junk food, and limit yourself to one hour of TV per day.

30. Improve your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand your own and other people’s emotions. Having a high level of emotional intelligence is an asset to your success because you can understand and control your emotions well. Plus, emotionally intelligent people know how to empathize with other people, which is obviously important to creating professional relationships with others and building your network.

29. Sleep well

The most important habit to break? Quit skipping sleep. Studies show that a single night of poor sleep affects your entire work week, and the problem of bad sleep among the U.S. workforce costs our country a collective $411 billion per year. (5)

According to Harvard Medical, you should sleep for at least 7 hours, maintain a regular sleeping schedule, create a relaxing bedtime routine, avoid stimulating food and drink in the evening, and exercise regularly for optimal sleep conditions. (6)

28. Set SMART goals

We all know it’s important to set goals, but writing vague things like “get rich” and “be happy” up on your dream board aren’t going to get you anywhere.

S.M.A.R.T. goals are used by everyone from Fortune 500 companies to MIT, because they work. Make sure your goals are: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. (7) So, instead of “get rich”, write something like “make over $70,000 in 2018”, or “average $6,000 per month in 2018.”

Another piece of advice? Break these S.M.A.R.T. goals down into smaller “bite-sized” goals. Keeps you motivated when you’re hitting goals on a regular basis and before you reach that big goal.

27. Just say no

Steve Jobs was no tech genius. But he said that the one thing that made him stand out from other people and helped him succeed was an ability to focus.

According to Apple’s co-founder, focus is all about saying no. “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things.” (8)

26. Quit seeking external validation

You aren’t going to get very far if you have to ask everyone around you if they approve of your ideas or actions. After all, you can’t please everybody.

Just get to work and find success in your own way. If you feel like you’re doing it right, you don’t need someone else to tell you you’re doing it right (barring your mentor, of course).

25. Growth mindset

Adopting a growth mindset means recognizing that we not fixed and are all capable of growing and changing, of shedding old habits and adopting new ones, and of learning to be successful. That person who always has “bad luck” keeps failing because they believe that those failures are an innate, permanent part of who they are, whereas the successful person sees those failures as an opportunity to change and grow.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck explains that the growth mindset means believing “that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.” (9)

24. Self-improvement

In order to act on that growth mindset, successful people regularly engage in self-improvement. They read on a daily basis (kudos for reading this post today, cross that one off the list), they learn new skills, they identify their faults and weaknesses and foster their strengths.

Instead of wasting your spare time on activities that provide no return, like binge-watching Netflix for 6 hours or hitting the bar every weekend, use that time to get ahead. Read a book, take a course, hone your skills, work on your business, etc.

23. Celebrate your wins

Working hard is important, but you can’t be “on” all the time. Take a break to celebrate your wins. Not only will it keep you motivated and looking forward to accomplishing the next goal, but taking a break to do whatever you want every once in a while helps you recuperate so you can attack your work in full force.

22. Get a mentor

Ramit Sethi schools us in “Why Successful People Don’t Want to Mentor You.” (10) The answer is simple: they’re busy, and you’re wasting their time. Stop asking them generic questions and expecting them to do work for you, and start doing the work yourself.

Instead, find yourself a good mentor, do your homework on them, put some work in to show them you’re serious (maybe read their book and reference specific chapters), and ask focused, thoughtful questions. Basically, STOP BEING LAZY.

21. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Speaking of mentors, don’t be afraid to ask for help from them and from your own network. After all, even the most “self-made” people in the world didn’t accomplish so much completely on their own.

While you’re at it, make sure to thank people who help you as well.

20. Practice delayed gratification

The classic Stanford marshmallow experiment: Back in the ‘70s, a group of children were given a marshmallow and told that if they could refrain from eating it for 15 minutes, they’d get a second one. Some kids said “screw it” and ate the marshmallow while others waited for the chance to eat two marshmallows. (11)

Well, 40 years later the researchers tracked down these same kids, and they found out that the kids who delayed their gratification for a higher reward grew up to be significantly more successful than the other kids by a number of different measures.

19. Upgrade your skills

One of the quickest ways to ensure success is to beef up your resume with some solid, in-demand skills. Here are some skills that the World Economic Forum and Bureau of Labor Statistics determined will be even more useful in the next 10 years: software development, data analysis, physical therapy, digital marketing, customer service, teaching, accounting, business analysis, and social media. (12)

Thanks to the internet, now you can learn a lot of these skills from your home for wayyy less than a college degree by taking some online courses. Khan Academy, Udemy, and Lynda are all great places to pick up skills online. (13) (14) (15)

18. Save money

The Instagram-friendly picture of lavish success, popping bottles and paying to do a photoshoot on a private jet that’s not yours (yes, that’s a thing) (16), actually just leads to debt and bankruptcy.

No more fake friends. Truly successful people live within their means and don’t overspend. They save their money for lucrative investment opportunities and top-notch business ideas.

If you really want that Instagram lifestyle, you can buy it once you actually have the money to do so.

17. Track your finances

Speaking of saving money, tracking your finances is the key to understanding your financial health. It’s important to know how much money’s coming in and going out so you can make changes to stay in the green and avoid debt.

Also, you can monitor your progress towards your financial goals by keeping track of your money.

16. Stay positive

Some things are cliche because they’re true. Self-help books can be cheesy and generic, but there’s a reason that The Power of Positive Thinking has sold over 5 million copies and is still flying off the (virtual) bookshelves almost 70 years after being published. (17)

More than talent, skill, connections, and money, attitude is the most important factor for success.

15. Learn to adapt

The world’s always changing. If you can’t learn to adapt to changing situations, you’re going to get left behind. Learn to be adaptable and take change in stride, as having this skill will help you react effectively and succeed.

After all, adaptability is what allowed us humans to go from cavemen to the highly advanced society we live in today.

14. Sales training

What’s the one goal that every single business on the planet has in common? Make money.

A reporter for Inc. Magazine asked 20 different major CEOs and business owners for the one skill that contributes to success in every single industry, and they all said the same thing: sales. (18) Without sales, you’ll never succeed in anything. With sales, you’ve got half the work done. Read up on sales and psychology, then get some training if you can afford it.

13. Real estate

This is one of those fields that has a low barrier to entry and no ceiling to how much you can earn. While you do have to get educated, licensed and trained, it’s pretty affordable and only takes about a year.

After that, the sky’s the limit if you’re good enough – just look at someone like Barbara Corcoran. Plus, thanks to websites like Airbnb, building up your own real estate empire by buying out buildings and renting them is more feasible than ever.

12. Learn to code

“Code is the new literacy,” and now you can learn to code from home for free at places like Code Academy. (19)

Whether you’re looking to work from home, create your own start-up, flex your creativity, or make lots of money, web development has all the markers of a fulfilling career. Senior software engineers are topping up at $160k/year…not bad. (20)

11. Graphic design

Sure, websites like Fiverr are dragging down graphic designer prices to lows like $5 (ouch), but clients who pay that little aren’t always great. Legit companies will pay way, way more than that for a designer who actually knows their stuff.

If you can leverage design to increase conversions, you can make big bucks, and your success won’t dry out with increasing automation because creativity is hard to copy. The Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that top-level graphic designers can hit $78k/year. (21)

10. Project management

According to a study done by the World Economic Forum on automation, the skills that will make sure you can still succeed ten years from now are things like people management, coordinating with others, critical thinking, and project management. (22)

Start by learning your way around project management software programs like Trello, Slack, and Basecamp.

9. Start a blog

Regardless of what field you go into, blogging is still a major way to get your name out there, increase brand recognition, and ultimately paint that picture of success for yourself. For those who’ve made it, blogging is a great way to give back to aspiring mentees who want to learn about how you did it, closing up the circle of success.

Plus, blogging itself can be turned into a very lucrative online business or complement your main income stream.

8. Data analysis

Big data, SAS, web scraping, machine learning…we’ve all heard the buzzwords. Data analysis is one of those elusive skills that are actually not that hard to learn if you have some time and an analytical mind, and having the ability to understand and manipulate data is an incredibly powerful skill in all fields.

Data analysis skills like SAS (Statistical Analysis System) will get you a 17% increase in any field of work. (23)

7. Pick up photography

Photography is a great supplemental skill for furthering your success in other fields. Basic photography, photoshop, and even some video editing and web design can help you land better jobs, or they can help you make side money or get your online business idea off the ground. Working for yourself is the dream, right?

6. Start tweeting

There’s a reason most companies look at applicants’ social media profiles. A big part of success is branding yourself online. Good branding on social media rakes in the cash and, more importantly, helps you get recognized and make connections.

Twitter is great for industries like journalism, blogging, film, finance, aviation, and telecommunications, whereas Instagram is a requirement for photography, art, fashion, travel, etc.

If you’re into business, marketing, finance, or tech, hit up LinkedIn and start writing articles.

5. Digital marketing

Everything is digital. There are 7 important components to digital marketing according to Forbes: analytics, SEO, HTML, WordPress, video, basic design skills, and SQL. (24)

You don’t need to become an expert in them all, but having a basic understanding of each one will increase your chances of success in just about anything.

4. Learn SEO

Google runs the world. Learn about SEO, and you can be successful in doing just about anything online.

I’ll give you the basics: do the keyword research (tools like SEMrush, Moz, Ahrefs), and create high quality, epic content that targets those keywords.

Build relationships with high-level publications, blogs, and websites that will share and link to your articles.

3. Start a vlog

If you’ve got a little video editing know-how, starting a vlog is one of the best ways to get your name out there – arguably even more than blogs.

Famous vlogger Casey Neistat uses nothing but an iPhone to make his videos, and he has over 8 million subscribers, has gotten sponsorships from companies like Burton and GoPro, and has been featured everywhere from the BBC to the New York Times. (25)

Good content is everything in business, and it’s not easy to outsource. If you can do it well, companies will pay big money. The starting salary for a copywriter is $10,000 more than the national average. (26)

2. Content writing

Improving your ability to communicate with writing translates to success in every field. A study by Grammarly shows that LinkedIn professionals with fewer grammar mistakes in their profiles have significantly higher positions and more promotions. (27)

But it’s not just grammar and spelling. Learning how to inform, persuade, and tell stories through writing is a powerful skill to have on your side.

1. Generate leads for local businesses

If you’ve been paying any attention, you’ll notice that most tips for success in today’s world involve sharpening your skills and then using them to do something digital, automatable, and scalable.

But the very best ideas are also painfully simple.

Local lead generation is about as simple as it gets without trying to sell you a BS get-rich-quick scheme. It’s got a low barrier to entry, low competition (you against a handful of local businesses instead of you against the whole internet), and the market is completely unsaturated, unlike everything else on this list.

Plus, it can be done from the comfort of your own home (or the Bahamas), and once you get it right, there’s no ceiling to what you can earn.

If you ever want to branch out, local lead generation will make you a pro at SEO (#4 on the list), and that’s a skill that can take you just about anywhere in life.