#They're also relatively rare there but I'm still disappointed

[eldritch-spouse]

i cannot believe no one has suggested this

imagine zizz walking in (or waking up to) on his queen humping one of the plushies

[This isn't exactly what you want it to be, but I had a massive brain vomit moment. Fem reader. There's art in this one.]

TW: Plushophilia (??? There's a doll monster is what I'm trying to say)

Rare are the days where you wake up alone in bed.

Zizz actually sleeps in quite a bit later than you. Granted he usually also settles down for the night much later. Nevertheless, it has become a habit of yours to wake up between his arms, tucked under his chin, or perhaps even being spooned, his hips somewhat restless behind yours.

It must have become an increasingly important aspect of your routine, because you find waking up alone to be more and more insupportable lately. So much so that you groan, immediately disappointed as soon as you register reality- No extra warmth, no gentle breathing beside you, no rumbling purr or claws petting across your hair.

Part of you wants to close your eyes, roll to the side, grab the nearest pile of softness and go back to sleep- Waiting for your King to return so you can wake up properly. And yet, another part is also restless.

What is he up to?

It's not as if you're worried about Zizz, he's probably busy with some project you can't be fucked to care about, but you're almost... Indignant. Some petty little voice in you demands you find the King and plop yourself on his lap, impeding him from working any further as punishment for denying you wake up affections.

When you yawn and make to get up, a slight tug is felt on your arm. Reflexively looking back, you find several of the stuffed companions you share with the ruler crowding your side, as if knowing you intend to leave and attempting to beckon you otherwise. It's tempting.

But not enough to halt you.

Because only a few moments later, you sluggishly take a stand, moving towards the large doors leading out of the bedchambers. All is fine until you turn one of the handles and... Nothing moves.

It actually takes your sluggish brain a couple of static-fillled seconds to register that. The realization followed by another tug, a harsher one to the twin handle, a fierce shove. Nothing. Not a budge, nor a creak.

They're... Locked?

In the relative darkness of the room -Kept this way to cater to Zizz's light-sensitive eyesight- You only note the piece of paper stuck to the left door after an embarrassing amount of jostling the fancy handles. Irritation makes you rip the notice away, squinting so as to make sense of the scribbled writing.

" Your excellence,

I lament to inform you that King Zizz has been called for an extremely urgent matter that requires his immediate attention. Under his command, I was instructed to keep you inside the bed chambers at all costs until his arrival. According to Lord Zizz, it should only take a little while. You may even still be sleeping by the time he returns.

Regards,

Jayde. "

Fury makes you crumple the sheet of paper into a ball, chucking it at the doors as if the force alone would cause them to suddenly part ways.

He's just going to keep you locked up in here like a doll? Like some pet?! The nerve.

For as much as Zizz says he loves you infinitely, incidents like these really serve to highlight a bitter truth you often turn a blind eye to. That he thinks less of you, that he doesn't trust you to handle the smallest things on your own. Maybe because he thinks you can't, that you're so limited to the point of having to be kept in a bedroom like some child.

Mind ping-ponging between all sorts of unearthed emotions, you consider behaving in exactly the way he seems to see you- By throwing a petulant tantrum befitting of someone truly as limited as he thinks you are. And just as a not so smart voice in your head congratulates you for such a thought, a touch halts that process entirely.

You jolt slightly, glancing down. One of the stuffed dolls from Zizz's endless collection lies on the carpeted ground, little rounded hand outstretched towards your foot. Have you seen this one before? It's hard to tell.

He's cute, a crocheted demonoid made of a mix and mash of pink yarn hues. The only other color on him is black, on his wide button eyes, a silk bow around his neck and his adorable tail adorned with jingling bells at the bottom. Why, he's so lovable! Is this one new in the King's collection? That doesn't make sense, Zizz would have shown you if that were the case, he always does. It must have been one you just don't get to see as often- Lord knows some of them are perpetually buried in the ocean of fluff and warmth that suffocates this room at times.

" Aw, aren't you cute? " You coo at the little thing, eyeing his little curved horns as you speak mostly to yourself. They listen however, you know they do.

" You want me to stay? If you reeeeally mean it, I guess I can... "

The choice isn't there, you're just trying to make yourself feel better and avoid getting angry until Zizz comes back.

As soon as you turn back, jingling and rustling can be heard. It's not cause for alarm, you're well aware these cotton and silken entities move on their own frequently, especially when no one's looking their way -It stopped being creepy after the first few days- So you assume the little pink thing is going to crawl back to its resting spot now that you have been successfully convinced to drop the doors.

Instead, you feel a much bigger pair of hands quickly shove your back. You yelp, a clumsy foot catching on your flowing nightgown and swiftly sending you tumbling onto the bed. It'd be lying to say that a small inkling of fear didn't course through you, steadily growing as you gather enough wit and reflex to roll around on the mattress and spot your assailant.

At the foot of the bed stands none other than the same plush you just talked to.

But he shifted.

Now much bigger, the yarn that once composed him has become a finely molded pattern over a much more humanoid form that shifts and moves exactly like your own. An amused, definitely mischievous smile creases the edges of his soft cheeks, covering up a bit of those button eyes- Surprisingly expressive for a thing that's supposed to have a fixed expression. It's extremely odd to admit this, but the more you look at him, the more weirdly attractive he becomes in spite of his strange fabric-based biology. Part of you almost wants to reach out and touch him.

Mild apprehension doesn't allow you to.

These creatures only shift into bigger forms of themselves when there's a good reason for such. Like imminent danger, intruders, tasks that require more refined figures. Most of the time, from what you recall being told, they're content to ragdoll and observe things or simply become inactive. So why is this one so active? Does he think you're going to try to escape? Yeah right, no amount of luck could make it happen.

" ... Buddy? "

The plush monster perks up, and when the ringing of tiny bells hits your ears, you realize he's wagging his tail happily. Not a second later, the yarn entity has climbed atop the bed and looms over your form with great stitched glee in its face. You don't even get to ask him what's happening before the pink thing sinks to snuggle against you in a warm hug.

He's so bizarrely soft.

As the monster silently rubs and nuzzles his head everywhere on your neck, chest and cheek, you can only marvel at the almost unbelievable smoothness of his... Skin? Not really. The sensation is so new that you don't even deign to think too much about what's happening, happily giggling when you bury your own face in the pleasant pink fuzz of his of his head. Okay then, he's just feeling affectionate, you can deal with that. In spite of the plush texture, experimentally grabbing at his arms reveals that there isn't as much give to him as you'd expect, like something more solid lurks beneath that friendly and deceitfully fragile exterior.

You toy with his bow a little, twirling the ends as you sigh.

" I'm not leaving, you know? I can't. "

He nods under your chin, face dipping towards your cleavage as smooth claws edge up the length of your legs. And while you allow it to happen, the gears start turning in your head. They're not really supposed to do that, are they?

You've seen many of the dolls shift, seen them perform a couple of menial tasks, asking for attention, but you never saw them... Being so bold. Sexual even. Are they capable of that? You'd like to think you're not a pervert, but built so well as this one is, maybe this is his function. You have caught the King with pillows and stuffed bedmates between his legs before- It wouldn't be that surprising if they're meant to do this from time to time.

But then... The one currently groping your thighs... If you let him continue, would you be cheating on the demonlord? No. Surely not, right? He uses them for pleasure too, it would be hypocritical of Zizz to become upset over something like this. You hope, at least. Still, you're not sure how to feel about it.

As you lie there still, deliberating on the situation unfolding, his shiver-inducing dance over your legs reaches your thighs. He's gentle, massaging from the outside, upwards, gripping your hips, then following the line of your panties back down to your inner thighs, a sensual and slow stroke that has you relaxing and sighing in pleasure. You recognize the motions, these are gestures Zizz likes to use on you, to hear you softly moan and smile, spreading your legs for him further. It shouldn't surprise you that some -Or all- Of his plushies would know how to touch you too. They're constant observers.

He looks content to have you so pliant beneath him, and you're sure the monster would be rumbling like its master if it was capable of making sounds. The frequent jingling of his swatting tail is evidence enough of his approval. Yet, as pleasant as this is all being, you reach for those pink wrists when a claw tries to slide your undergarments aside.

" Hey. " You start, having to squeeze a little so he puts his whole attention on your face. The doll monster tilts his head. " I'm... We shouldn't do anything, Zizz isn't here... "

The entity tilts his head more, as if not really understanding where you're coming from, silence stretches on for a small eternity between you, your heart pounding in your chest.

You can admit to yourself that it's more than a little thrilling to give this a shot. To see what it's like to bed one of the King's stuffed dolls. After all, there must be a reason he likes them so much... But you don't want to go too far. Not without knowing more.

" We can't- Uhm, we can't have sex, okay? " Gods you've never cringed at yourself so hard.

The doll seems to flinch at the mention of sex, horned head shaking frantically as he quickly removes his featherlite fingers off your figure entirely. Though a smile stretches his yarned cheeks when he wags a finger at you, proceeding to use both hands to frame... His slit.

Because it can only be that between his legs. It's the same exact color as the rest of his body, blending together amidst all the rounds of fabric that compose his body. You can't be blamed for having missed it at first. More important however, is the strand of white yarn stitched over said area, in the same way you'd sew someone's wounds, though with a small bow at the bottom.

It takes a bit for you to piece what it means together.

The monster reaches to try and slip a finger under the yarn, trying to dislodge it off him, but it seems to be well secured. He then casually taps your groin, then his, shaking his head again.

Ah.

" Oh! " Your eyes widen. " So you can't... It doesn't come off? " Penetration is not on the table.

The pink doll nods. Honestly, you have no idea what kind of cock this type of being can have...

" O- Okay. " That does make you feel better about things for now. Though it begs the question. " Did Zizz put that on you? "

Another nod.

His brows furrow as he seems to be thinking of something for a few quiet moments. Then, a tad suddenly, the doll moves off you to thump soundlessly beside you on the bed. He spreads his legs some and makes an eager beckoning gesture towards you.

Not really understanding but too curious to deny him, you do as told, getting the picture when he slides one of your legs over his right one, making you straddle it. This time, when he looks at your face and slowly slides your panties to the side, there's no misunderstanding between you.

Not that your face isn't heating up at the implication.

The monster's chest shifts and his mouth parts like he's mutely lauging. And it makes sense, the doll has probably seen you and Zizz get up to some pretty shameless stuff in this very room, he likely thinks it's hilarious that you're hesitating to do something as simple as ride his thigh.

" Oh shush. "

Soft claws rub down your back, cupping the globes of your ass underneath your gown and starting a slow, luscious rhythm on his leg. The monster happily allows you to adjust, learn what angle provides the best friction on your clit while he kneads and gropes greedily at your cushion.

You don't really consider yourself to be much of a humper.

Of course, you've done it before a couple of times, the difference here being that none of the things you used would stare knowingly at you, would smirk when you shuddered in pleasure or even minutely push back against your movements. They wouldn't squeeze approvingly at your hips and waist, reach to fondle the peaks of your tits- To say that a plush lusts after you would be madness. At least until today.

Restless thighs clench around his own as you speed up, rocking harder, grinding yourself, soaking his fabric in your own chase for a peak that you didn't even know you were craving so bad up until now. Distantly, you wonder how many are watching now, if they feel any jealousy towards the brave and lucky plush that dared make a move.

Unfortunately, you're having trouble getting there on your own, cursing underneath your breath while your body tenses and coils but never enough to trigger that sweet release. There's no way he doesn't see you struggling and sweating on him, the little bastard's likely just enjoying the show. Ugh.

" Mm- Finger me, please. "

And yet, no matter how sweet your tone was, how you used manners, he didn't budge, smile climbing further up his rosy face as he shook his head, tail thumping on the sheets. The blatant denial makes you halt entirely, frowning.

" Wh- What do you mean no?! " That sounded a lot more aggressive than you meant it to be.

But still, these monsters are servants, their purpose to fulfill the royalty's orders, that's what they strive for. If you tell one to touch you a certain way, surely they'd be more than happy to do so, right?

The entity merely shakes his head again. You're getting a little annoyed by that gesture, even if it's one of the few ways he can actually communicate with you coherently.

Your arms cross beneath your chest, not so much mad as you are confused. " Aren't you technically supposed to obey me? "

The doll shakes with laughter again, and part of you almost wants to push him right off the bed, hormones still jumping in your system. He wags an index again, then wiggles his fingers above his head, between his horns.

As he repeats the motion, you can finally focus enough to make sense of it. He's trying to imitate the blob of energy that his master sports between his own horns. That little thing you've tried to grab before even though it's touch averse, slipping between your digits right at the moment you think you've got it.

The message is clear- He obeys to Zizz specifically.

You make a 'tsk', rolling your eyes at the monster. " So you're not going to help me? "

Another shake.

" Not even a liiittle bit? " And you reach a hand beneath the silk of his dark bow, scratching at his chin.

The contact has him leaning instantly, attitude faltering, his response coming in a clumsy shrug. A sort of "We'll see".

Fine.

Undettered, you offer him no more sweet talk when you resume the previous pace, caring none for his comfort as you steady yourself on his abdomen to harshly thrust your hips on his leg, almost jostling him for a second. The plush monster's tail wags near violently, apparently loving this newfound roughness.

You're not sure what has him so enthusiastic out of nowhere, but any suspicion drops immediately at the first hint of the bumping and grinding his own leg against your twitching cunt, hands eagerly helping you spread yourself. He practically fucks you onto him, seeming to shiver in his own weird manner at the high and whiny noises you belt out.

When your orgasm crashes upon you, the pink creature doesn't slow down, making sure to milk it as hard as he can, he himself enjoying getting humped while you finish, soaking him further in your arousal. Your legs are still rocking gently, the first aftershocks settling in when-

" I'm glad you were able to entertain yourself. "

The way you jump off the monster nearly has your soul leaping out of your throat when you whirl around to find none other than Zizz sitting by the edge of the bed, chin framed by his palms as if he were watching a movie unfurl.

" D- Did-? " How long was he actually here for? How come he manages to be as silent as a mouse when he's so huge?! " I'm so sorry- "

The demonlord huffs. " For... What exactly? "

" I- Well- Your-...? " You glance beneath yourself to the plush monster still laying beneath you with a slightly smug smirk on his face.

Zizz nudges you off the doll carefully, tugging him down closer with a lot less care as he removes his veil. Wide eyes blink in panic, you assume he's going to maybe hurt the entity or chastise you for making a mess of his treasured collection piece- But surprisingly, he clutches the toy's leg and casually licks the slick of your climax that wasn't rapidly absorbed by yarn.

O-Oh okay.

The other seems to like this well enough, letting himself ragdoll, once again wagging that jingling appendage.

" ... He was only doing his job. "

The King releases his minion, sparing you a lidded look.

" You can use me now. "

(As a bonus, here's what the ""doll"" looks like.)

[kuroo-hitsuji]

This is a prompt to talk about Lucifer and Satan purring (!!!!!) and body types??

Woo thank you !!

Starting with body types bc i think it will be shorter than the purring (i have. Many thoughts about the purring lmao). They're admittedly not drastically different from the models, I'm constantly at war with my brain between Canon Compliance and creative liberties ahzhsjxh but its a lot of smaller details, i hope its not disappointing at all orz

Lucifer - ironically his body type is the most difficult one for me to describe shdhhd he's just kind of a Fit Guy tm. Like he's got decently defined muscles and the slight dorito shape from his shoudlers/chest to his waist that you expect from anime men lmao. But he's not shredded, no washboard abs or anything (but relatively toned still, could be a six-pack if he's deliberately flexing lmao), the most defined muscles are in his arms and chest, primarily. Also he's got long-ass legs, idk why he is just ⅔ leg and i cannot unsee it

Satan - lean muscle and pretty boxy, the shoulder to waist to hip ratio isn't all that drastic, not a lot of chest muscle and again lean but not shredded ab region (using the flexing concept again I'd put him at a 4 pack lol) but also more visibly defined than Lucifer's at rest as well due to a slightly lower fat percentage. Also he has like no ass and I'll die on this hill (the first obey me post i ever saw was someone calling him out for having a flat ass in a chat picture and it has stuck with me the entire 4 years 💀 not slander btw we support all booties here). He's just very square/rectangle coded in my mind for inexplicable reasons

Demons purring is a headcanon I'm constantly dying to talk about Thank You 🙏 i hope these are actually like afjsjg decently coherent, they got long (as expected but still)

Lucifer - witnessing him purr at all is Exceptional rare (hearing it is even less common) for a combination of reasons that mostly boil down to his general commitment to his reputation and him being reluctant to show vulnerability at most times (and in this specific case its exacerbated by the fact that he was not Always a demon and the ability to purr in the first place is relatively foreign to him). He's put in the work to keep a handle on it as much as he can, and to keep it silent when he can't (control, control, control), and outside of him practicing that alone the most common instances of it happening have been when he's with MC, or when he's Very drunk and in good/safe company (diavolo, primarily. Lucifer is still hesitant to fully drop his facade with him, but it's been slowly melting away over the centuries. Diavolo does his absolute best not to call attention to the purring in the very rare instance that he even notices it occurring, but it is an absolutely herculean feat for him lmao). Generally the only time it's at all audible is with MC, in those rare perfect moments that let him feel safe and cozy enough to fully relax, often with the help of cuddling and petting his hair, wings, or the base of his horns. Even then it's quiet, a low, deep rumble somewhere between what you'd expect from a panther or other big cat (if they were actually able to purr) and the kind of sound a small tremor of an earthquake makes, where you might not realize you're even hearing anything at first but you can Feel your eardrums vibrating anyways.

Satan - also purrs very infrequently, for a few similar reasons but also wildly different ones. He's more accustomed to it as a general ability, having never had a body that was unable to purr in the first place, but he's still not incredibly familiar with it for a while. He did it instinctively as a self-soothing method at first, back when he was still out of control and would get locked in his room for the safety of himself and others, doing it less the more he gets a hold on his wrath, associating it with the consequences of a loss of control rather than positive emotions. It's not until he becomes attached to and knowledgeable about cats that he starts seeing it in a different light, eventually allowing himself to give into the urge to purr occasionally without feeling bad about it, but with this a different problem arises: having something so in common with cats has him almost too giddy, to the extent that when he starts purring he struggles to stop, so he still represses it most of the time. He purrs most often completely alone in his room where there will be minimal consequences to him getting stuck in a happy-stim feedback loop for an hour or two if it does happen, and he's still a bit embarrassed about the idea of this happening in front of MC for a good while, but not totally against it.

His purr tends to be a bit stilted and not particularly deep in pitch, waves of it more clearly following his breathing. It's not loud but its not really quiet either, and he's never really been successful at trying to control anything about it other than completely suppressing it, adding to the list of reasons he can't do it stealthily in day to day life as some other demons might be able to (purring loudly in public is seen as vaguely inappropriate, not really in a big way but kind of the same vibes as crying in public in most human settings. You won't get in trouble or anything but its one of those things most people feel more comfortable with keeping private).

I think I covered everything but if not I'll probably end up adding anything I couldve missed whenever i actually remember it lol

Thanks again for the chance to infodump :)

[ubercharge]

im not sure if anyone asked you yet, but thoughts on the dunmeshi anime?

thanks for asking! sometimes i forget i exist here as a person cuz i just log on to queue random stuff without making posts 💀

it's pretty rare for me to watch an anime without ever reading the manga, and there've been stellar adaptations recently. ONK, kisekoi, BTR, frieren, CSM just to name a few. in a landscape where we're used to being disappointed as readers who have a frame of reference before watching a show, i had very, very high hopes for the dunmeshi adaptations that weren't quite fulfilled.

i'll dump everything under a cut since i actually have a lot to say, sorry if you were expecting it to be brief 😎

the lines in the artistic style are good, nicely translating the characters into animated format. really no notes there. definitely a nicer comparison for char designs between manga and anime vs. tonsuki and tensura who both have incredible manga styles that the anime stumble over (though in the latter's case, i don't think they were aiming for it sadly)

the shading has been fine, but weakened by the colour choices. some of the dungeon scenes (e.g., living armour stuff) are lit with a medium blue which helps to sell the idea of the scene being in a place not lit by fire (and contrasts it with the making camp & cooking scenes), but the lack of dark shading flattens some of these very well-drawn images.

the earlier chapters don't have the same level of detail as newer ones, but the art style is still fantastic - it's expressive with high contrast and shows action and impact perfectly well. manga will often times have a naturally easier way with contrast due to it being in black & white, but i don't think that means anime should just give up on contrast in favour of playing ineffectively with colour.

here's a night shot of fern from frieren. the choices made here allow for the shading to stand out from the flats and give her more definition overall while still being relatively simple (just flats + shading)

when dunmeshi has more "normal" lighting conditions, it does a lot better. similar to fern up there, there's about the same amount of difference between the flats and shadows, so i really wish they did a better job on the dungeon scenes since they're going to have to deal with non-torchlit scenes plenty. i won't argue that the living armor scene certainly has some kind of a sickly, alien mood to it, but tl;dr i think it should've had darker shading if not also being less green. this largely applies to every other blue-green lit scene they've done.

looking at kui's coloured drawings in the ed gives me an idea of what could've been and it makes me sad to lose out on colour choices more similar to that (even if they obviously can't have her level of detail on top of it)

some of the backgrounds haven't been too interesting but some have been good, overall it's probably fine. plus you can only draw and detail repeating bricks so many times before the viewer gets bored of looking at them anyway, i guess.

the animation is really fun and expressive. it's trigger, so they don't keep scenes stiffly on-model when they want characters moving around. this is good because it helps to sell both action and comedy moments!

the music overall i haven't really cared for? the BGM has not been particularly moving, interesting, or memorable - mostly generic. and i've seen too many fantasy shows for my own good, so i might be harder to impress (but i even remember tenken had a good BGM song or two to make a fight dramatic and that show was barely above average at best)

i'm biased not being particularly into bump, so i would've selected a different artist for the OP (i actually did like the bump OP from SxF though, come to think of it). before anyone makes a wisecrack based on what i've watched lately, no it doesn't have to be yoasobi.

i maybe feel the ED song would've been better for the OP, i don't like the largely peaceful bit of the OP with very still visuals. the OP is where you reel people in! it should be an eye-catching hook, representative of what to expect with some extra sauce on top.

the ED is great, total bop. it's a fine time for slower visuals as an enjoyable wind-down from the episode, so less or no animation is no big deal. plus kui's art is absolutely gorgeous! it all perfectly fits that "end of work" fun and lighthearted mood they were going for.

i largely enjoy the voice acting. i would've personally gone for a less "old man" voice on senshi because he's really not that old for a dwarf, but they obviously wanted to make it clear he was the older, wiser, knowledgeable character.

this might be my own personally most blasphemous opinion, but i would've picked a different VA for falin. i want to make it clear i absolutely adore saori hayami - she's incredible and one of my faves. with that said, her voice fits the character, so maybe it's just because i've heard her too often which is not her fault by any means! i love the voices for laios, marcille, and chil.

it seems netflix's subs go off of the official EN TL of the manga, which makes sense, but i've talked about how i don't like it more than ehscans' TL (which is one of the single best TLs i've read for a series, official or otherwise) and that holds true for the anime ("mad sorcerer" is cooler AND less clunky than "lunatic magician"). i prefer less localisation stuff and/or quirkiness in my subs and more direct translation for both manga and anime.

as for the changes/additions they've made to the show, some of them have been alright and some i didn't care for. they really want to sell marcille as the funny joke character which is why they had her being chased by the basilisk instead of having doni & fionil like it was in the manga which was better for the pacing and had good impact vs a funny clip of marcille running back and forth.

i don't dislike when adaptations add or change stuff, but placing them cleanly is important. dunmeshi is already really funny! i don't think it needs help being funnier by reaching for the cheap laugh. when laios sees two people running for their lives from a basilisk and he just goes "wow that's a bad way to run from that monster", it's already lowkey hilarious - all the more so followed by marcille telling mr. monster-know-it-all to go rescue them if he knows what's up and him rescuing them by making himself big and chicken squawking real loud (which embarrasses marcille and chil, but c'mon guys, at least his idea worked!). i feel like the comedy in laios' funny hero moment is undercut by forcing the marcille butt of the joke moment in the anime.

dunmeshi is already incredibly good at just about everything it does. i feel if an adaptation wants to add or change something, it's often better amplifying a strength or shoring up a weakness in the source material. BTR adds a lot to the source (not hard considering the source is a 4koma) and makes already funny things even funnier. the "we should all get social media" scene is elevated to iconic status with the visual of bocchi glitching out + the VA's inhuman screech. i can't say where i'd really want to change or add stuff to dunmeshi, since it really feels so good and whole, but i'm sure there's room in the process of translating manga panels to animated scenes, and i think the direction overall could've been better (comparing most shows to BTR isn't fair i know because BTR is directed & adapted so well it's hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby territory)

i've mostly said negative stuff, but i don't want it to sound like i hate or even really dislike the adaptation. i think when it comes to a series you really love, you want to see the best adaptation possible within reason, and the disappointment of stuff not being quite what you were hoping for is amplified by so many other recent adaptations being so good.

dunmeshi does not have a bad anime by any means, but a lot of that is thanks to the source material's quality. if they do another season, i hope they have more time/budget/whatever because i think a lot of the parts it does have are good parts! but in this case, i wasn't hoping for good; i was hoping for great.

trigger makes great shows with wacky storylines (in some ways, the same one wacky storyline, but that's a different discussion) and dunmeshi, being directed by someone who's worked on a bunch of trigger stuff (largely sci-fi leaning), maybe needed some more direction from people who've worked on fantasy stuff? i can't say for sure what would've been enough to take the show over the top, but though i generally don't hope for much from adaptations, i really did have higher hopes for this one than it ended up achieving.

overall it seems i'll end up scoring the show a 7 or 7.5 when i finish the season, though there's certainly still room to wow us all. whatever you feel about the adaptation, whether you liked it or not, whether or not you've read the manga, feel free to comment your thoughts below or in my inbox. let's keep it free of manga spoils for anime-only watchers, though!

[patternsinnoise]

can you elaborate on the stealth deradicalization unit you have to teach?

Okay, so, I've been a composition teacher since 2016. Up until last May, I taught at a small college in a rural area that serviced first generation and ex-military students. Many of them were relatively fine, leaving aside structural issues with the military.

A few of them weren't -- getting into Q-anon related bullshit. I didn't want to read that stuff, and I was a bit troubled like this. Given that critical thinking is part of my remit for these classes, I worked on this.

So here's the basics of the critical thinking unit I used:

1) I only rarely directly pushed back on anything. People clam up if directly opposed, especially if you're in a position of authority. Keeping them engaged is key.

2) I tried to frame everything that I use in practical terms, even outside of academia. For example, you should learn research skills to make smart decisions for voting and consumer choices. Critical thinking is useful not just in general, but specifically to counter moral panics.

2a) I might take a stop through talking about cults on the way to Moral Panics. I try to emphasize that it's often very intelligent people who fall for these: it's not about being smart, it's about learning habits of questioning -- I might prime them for this by fitting the afterword to J. Michael Straczynski's comic book Midnight Nation into a prior unit where it fits.

3) moral panics are fun and interesting to learn about, especially when the alternative is learning semicolon placement.

4) I run through the satanic panic of the 1980s, which is old enough that a lot of the people who I teach don't directly remember it and it seems ridiculous. However, we can point to wrongdoings by both conservative and liberal actors, so that also avoids alienating the largely conservative audience. It's also similar enough to Q-anon that it can begin to make them question it.

5) I limit this to one -- maybe two -- days, and then turn to discussing rhetoric soon thereafter. So, while they're beginning to question things, I can introduce them to common techniques used to manipulate people alongside the techniques they need to do their course work. For example, I can teach them how to recognize a motte-and-bailey argument or some of the more common logical and rhetorical fallacies.

This is... mostly it. I've got to go to bed so I can get up early to teach, but if you find yourself stuck with a position of authority, the trick -- as far as I can see it -- is to not engage them on the conspiratorial topic and then offer legitimate rewards for doing legitimate work that depends on skills and mindsets antithetical to the set of beliefs in question.

Evidence: I want to believe in UFOs and high strangeness, but I've been trained to teach research skills and all of that stuff is so poorly done that it offends my sensibilities. I'm still open to hearing about it, but I've been disappointed every time.

[shredsandpatches]

Congrats on watching the 2004 Faust! Bryn Terfel's Mephisto has to be one of the best acting efforts in any opera recording ever, to me. Mildly unusual take on the character, but just honestly 100% perfect in every scene. He's so ugly! And he's so disappointed! And he's evil! Performance of all time. And I agree the serenade/duel scene is fantastic.

Oh their Marguerite also has the rare combo of being super beautiful and sounding super good. I love her. Alagna Faust also not bad, I like how he's so small. And the cartwheel of course.

And the ballet dancers 😭😭😭 And how the devils come out to cheer / mock the patriotism during the soldiers' chorus. That's like borderline poignant.

Well this was really more of a comment than a question but I just love that recording.

(I like Keenlyside and I like Valentin but Keenlyside Valentin is meh to me) (Degout Valentin is where it's at)

Okay I gotta admit: I actually thought Bryn Terfel's Mephistopheles was really hot. In a creepy and sweaty way, certainly, but also, really hot. Maybe I'm weird? (Or a Marthe kinnie.) He absolutely rocked that ballgown. And we are, at any rate, in complete agreement that he was AWESOME. THAT SOUL-PIERCING STARE. I honestly saw a lot of Marlowe's Mephistopheles in his take on the role--that very grim quality he brings to it, and the touches of melancholy at the beginning and end. Maybe the Marlowe vibes are a British thing? Really interesting contrast with Erwin Schrott's Mephistopheles, who brings a lot more of the traditional sass (and who also absolutely rocks the ballgown, of course). Terfel's version would never do the dork dance that Schrott does at the end of "Le veau d'or" (NB. I love the dork dance.) I also thought the 2004 had more homoeroticism than the 2019 and of course I'm always gonna be on board for that.

Angela Gheorghiu is pretty much always great, I agree. She was still married to Roberto Alagna when they did this and real-life couples don't always have chemistry in performance but they did here--obviously they are playing a disaster couple but you still need to have chemistry. I'm not a huge fan of Alagna's singing generally (too reedy and scoopy for me) but his acting and especially his physical acting was really good. (Another interesting contrast: Michael Fabiano in 2019 reads a lot younger than Alagna does in 2004 even though the relative ages at the time of the performances are not that far apart: 35 vs. 41. They were both younger than I am now! I guess Fabiano is just more baby-faced but their duets with their respective Marguerites read pretty differently.)

Also agreed about the soldiers' chorus--given the setting in Belle Epoque (and the fact that I wrote a giant term paper about it in high school) it gives the impression that the war they're coming back from is the Franco-Prussian (even though the localization is not that literal/specific) in which case, of course, they'd be coming back from getting pasted.

ANYWAY. YES. Love this production a lot, both versions. Oh, I also thought that although the DVD quality wasn't as clear (it predates HD I think, or at least HD being common), some of the scenes were filmed in a way that makes the narrative a little clearer -- the Walpurgisnacht ballet in particular. I thought the actual dancing was stronger in 2019 but the 2004 filming put you closer to it. (Also you got a better sense of Faust's reactions; in the 2019 you could hardly see him.)

[purplesurveys]

1749

How old were you 10 years ago? I was 15.

The last time you went out to eat, where did you go? I already talked about it in detail in a previous survey but my workmates and I went to a wine bar for Trina's despedida. We went to a nearby bar after for more filling bar chow cos all they had in the first place were light finger food meant to be paired with wine.

What did you order? For the wine bar, we got a few bottles of wine, clams, a cheese plate, and fries; for the bar, we had chips, sisig, and mac and cheese balls.

Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? I can't remember the last movie I saw because I rarely watch any anymore; but the last anything I watched was Prison Playbook. I'm only one episode in, but my favorite has been the sweet dude who was part of the same inmate batch as the main character. Least suspicious character so far, and it helps to know that his reason for getting incarcerated was merely because he didn't pay back the loan for his mom's surgery.

Do you use Twitter? How about Tumblr? I do use both, although I'm much more active on Twitter because all I do here is take surveys on weekends and the occasional weeknight.

What colour are the walls of the room you’re in? They're white.

What would you like to say to the last person that hurt you? I have not felt hurt by my loved ones for a very long time now. That feels pretty great to realize!

When was the last time you felt disappointed? Who/what cheered you up? I was soooo bummed last Friday �� I had booked a visit to a museum, but I didn't expect the traffic to be absolutely awful (it was mid-afternoon, when roads would be relatively more relaxed) that I got to my destination 40 minutes after my reserved slot. It was also the last timeslot for the day, so it wasn't like I could just join the next batch of visitors.

I figured it'd be stupid of me to even show up lol, so I just went to the food hall next door, which also ended up sucking because there was no cell signal inside; I couldn't even use my data. At least I got a delicious spicy tuna poke from my visit.

Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. There's Lea and Leigh. Lea is SUPER friendly, I love love love having conversations with her so it's a shame we see each other so rarely; I also see her as headstrong, ambitious, and intelligent. Leigh is creative, gentle, and a really talented singer.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? Holy shit I suck at waking up, I must have missed Jungkook's set at the Global Citizen Festival and I hate myself. Then I checked my Twitter (it was 7 AM by that point; they advertised the set as starting at 4 AM, Manila time) and apparently he was still in the middle of doing Seven LOL. Man did his set three hours late so I got to still hang out with him for a few minutes AND see the teaser for 3D!!!

Have you received any compliments today? Nah.

Describe one of your favourite items of clothing. Where did you get it? My brown sleeveless maxi dress - just Shopee, haha.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter A. Arancini.

Is there anyone from your past that you sometimes miss? Tell me about them. Only people I can think are Sofie and my grandpa. Sofie was my best friend in high school and we were each other's biggest confidantes. She was born overseas but since her parents were incapable of raising her and were separated, she was sent back here from childhood, and that's how she ended up in my school by around Grade 7. She had hair as thick as mine, loved makeup, and got me into Audrey Hepburn. We grew apart in college and saw each other a grand time of Once before she migrated to the UK this time last year. Our relationship post-drifting-apart has been wholesome and there's been absolutely no grudge or bad blood or whatever. I was raised around my grandpa routinely telling me random trivia and general knowledge, and I think I got my love from learning from him. He is a gifted writer and he apparently used to write my grandmother poems when they were younger, and is into history. If there is one thing he can't handle well, it's alcohol, and I have my fair share of trauma from what I've seen of him when he has had too much to drink. Nevertheless I think of him fondly, especially for the person he was without his brandy. He died in 2015 from a sudden heart attack when he was visiting family from our province.

How long have you known the last person you text messaged? Since 2020.

Do you know what the person you miss is doing at this moment? Probably on his lunch break.

Has anyone told you that they love you today? Yes.

In the last week, what’s the kindest thing that someone has done for you? My sister making me instant noodles when I asked her.

Is there a song that makes you cry every time you hear it? We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal has been a little rougher to listen to these days. So has Love Letters.

If someone read your mind right now, what would they hear? They would hear remnants of Le Sserafim's Fire In the Belly because I can't stop thinking about it lmao.

Do you have any favourite jewellery that you wear every day? Yes, my purple heart charm necklace that Reena gave me.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you talked to? Dark brown.

Are you wearing anything orange or red? Yes.

Who was the last person you said “hello” to? Idk, I think my sister.

I like to think there is always something to smile about…so, tell me, what’s your reason to smile right now? News about my potential resignation has apparently spread at work so I'm just happy that I'm not bearing it on my own anymore. They know I have plans to leave and they know I'm not too thrilled with my promotion, so at least I don't have to worry about violent reactions when the timing is finally right to step back and step out.

Also, Jungkook new single on Friday.

[gelbgelbgelb]

Hey Anon, first off, also a big hug from me! These are big decisions and I totally understand that this is stressing you out.

If I may add to @qqueenofhades 's great and thoughtful answer: in preparation to talking with your parents, it might be helpful to think about *why* they want you to become a doctor so badly

our dreams and aspirations are rarely just about the thing and rather about what we associate with the thing. you already mentioned financial security as one major example. can you think of other things they associate with being a doctor that they want for you - or better yet, can you ask your parents directly?

Now the good part is, because they're your parents and presumably love you, those things that they want for you will be *good things*, things that you will also want for yourself. Even if they aren't (eg if they want you to hold a powerful position in society but power doesn't excite you, or they feel that a "lesser" career would embarrass you in front of extended relatives but that's not something you care about), underneath that motivation I'm pretty sure you'll find a deeper motivation that you both share (eg wanting their child / yourself to be treated with respect by society and family).

(conversely, there's probably several aspects of being a doctor that they *don't* want for you, like the wacko work hours and labor exploitation during years of training)

Once you've identified those values that they care about, this can help you (a) plan how you can achieve those in an alternate career path and (b) then communicate those things to your parents. They'll likely still be disappointed that you're not going to be a doctor, but I think they'll be a lot better equipped to process that disappointment when they're assured that you can still be happy, healthy, financially stable, respected, etc. etc.

you're probably right that it would be easier to come up with such a plan for law school than for an academic career (regarding financial stability etc.), but either way if you're thinking about any type of grad school it's a good idea to come up with a finance plan! I've known a lot of people who launched themselves into PhD programs and then later regretted not having a long-term plan (and a plan B) for finances, so by doing this you'll already be ahead of the curve

(One extra note on becoming a lawyer - it's an extremely versatile profession! There's lawyers specializing in healthcare law, in advocating for people's health rights, in running everything from community hospitals all the way up to the WHO, ... I'm not saying you have to combine law+medicine, but just as a thought to remind you that there's more possibilities than just A or B)

hello, it's youngin anon once again. i need advice and i have no one to ask, so i figured i could ask you. it's a lot and long, so if you don't want to answer, feel free to ignore.

idk how familiar you are with immigrant child guilt, but it weighs on me immensely. my parents work very hard and i can see the way they struggle. i remember when i was young we didn't even have a bed! me and my siblings slept on cushions. i've seen the insane hours my dad has worked so as to afford me and my siblings a better and more comfortable life. both of my parents have put in a lot of work to give us good opportunities, starting with their immigration to the US.

in nigerian culture, education is extremely important, so as i grew up, my parents have always told me to focus on my education, telling me not to work and it did pay off bc i did end up as valedictorian. college, however is presenting a new set of problems.

my dad, who i am financially dependent on (and who is paying the tuition for the state uni where i'm enrolled) has made it abundantly clear that he thinks med school is the only valid career path. i told him that my roommate was studying comms and he said that she could become a lawyer or something, before looking me dead in the eyes and that wasn't an option for me. with him, it's med school or bust.

as long as i could remember, my parents have been telling me i was going to become a doctor. every time i asked my dad to get me something, he say, i'll do it and in the future, you'll become a doctor, right? and i would agree and that was that. i've answered to all the adults who asked me that i was was going to med school and they would all give me smiles of approval. if i mentioned any other career growing up i'd be ruthlessly shot down or gently persuaded about how much more security there was in medicine.

i was aware in high school that i didn't really want to be a doctor so i sort of set myself up, enrolling under my college's science school so as to cut off my own retreat path. i figured that if i was able to bear it during high school, i could bear it during college. but i can see my own behavior and i know that i don't really like STEM. not that it's a bad field! i just don't have any interest in it. i read the textbooks to learn enough to pass the test and that's it. i don't interact with my classmates or the professors or the material beyond what's needed to get an A. this is in sharp contrast to my history classes which i have been enthralled with. I took a world history class in the first semester enjoyed it immensely. last semester i took a war and violence in africa class and LOVED it. it made me want to become an African historian/Africanist. i talk to my professors, enjoy the readings, the assignments, all the new info i'm getting on the continent where my family originates. i go to my history classes and i want to be there. i want to learn.

i don't know if i could survive academia as a profession because i've seen you posting about the struggles from working in academia and there was a large strike at my school last semester because professors weren't earning enough. if it were a perfect world or if i had lots of money i would love to get my Ph.D focusing on West African history and be a history professor, but it's not, so. i've been thinking about law school as a happy compromise. i could go to law school with a undergrad history degree and if i went to law school i could also pursue JD/MA in History. i'm trying out some law classes next semester to see how i like them.

i'm now scared that if i were to transfer to a different school in my college my scholarship might be reduced. i'm also afraid that i would lose my parents' financial support if i chose to pursue a different career path and i have no actual work experience.

and i understand my parents' very valid concerns! both of them grew up poor in Nigeria and it was their STEM educations that afforded them better lives. they don't want me to experience that level of crushing poverty that heavily defined their youth. my mom tells me about her younger brother in Nigeria who struggles to get work with his masters. my dad tells me about co-workers' children who can't get jobs in their field of profession and have to work whatever jobs come their way. from what i've seen on the news, the future job market looks bad for the young people (around the world!). millennials are having problems and my generation isn't set to do much better.

is it fair to my parents to just disregard that and pursue work in the humanities? i want to do what i want, to just live my life, but it feels like it's not just my life. it would feel so selfish to just risk that all. whenever i talk to my parents about their journey in the US i feel like i should just suck it all up and go to med school. if my parents could suffer all of that, who i am to complain? do my struggles compare?

i feel like my sense of pragmatism and idealism are warring against each other. I don't like STEM, I'm good at it, good enough to get good grades in the classes, but it's not something i enjoy doing, but there's more job security. i love history and the humanities as a whole, but i might struggle with employment.

i'm semi-familiar with the path i would need to take to become a doctor. i would have to make it into med school (high GPA, experience in science research/labs, shadowing healthcare professionals, good recommendations, etc.), survive med school, survive residency (during which residents are worked like dogs), complete fellowships, and then i would be able to practice independently. and that would probably occupy the majority of my time. people have told me that med school is hard even for people that like medicine. for me who is just tolerating it, can i do it? and what about any future patients? is it fair to them?

my mom has always said that i could just get my second degree in whatever i wanted after i became a doctor, but i don't know if i would have the mental strength/energy/free time to go back to school after med school. i feel like if i grit my teeth and bared it for all my twenties i would lose the drive to do it my thirties. it feels like i've been putting off my living my life for my entire life. in middle school i thought about high school, in high school about college, and in college about post-graduate life. i'm tired of this constant look towards the future, but it's the only thing i know how to do. my brain is constantly asking "okay, and then what?"

if i go to med school and realize that i really can't do it, then i'll be trapped. it'll be too much debt to walk away from, too many years of my life dedicated towards that end goal of becoming a doctor. i feel like if i'm going to change my future plans, i should do it before sooner rather than later. 19 isn't too late to walk back but 26 might be.

but it's not like pursuing a career closer to what i want would be easier.

there's always this big fear in the background of, what if i fail? what if i risk it all to go to law school and i don't make it in? or i end up in a low-paying law job saddled with hundreds of thousands in student debt? or even if i make it to biglaw, i still end up burned out from all the hours that they work? wouldn't i still be miserable? i'm not super familiar with how law school works but i've done some lurking around @artielu's blog and law seems like something i should also go into in only if i'm sure.

(i'm not. i'm not sure of anything really.)

it feels like no matter what i'm going to be unhappy in the future. maybe everyone feels this way, maybe a certain level of unhappiness is normal in adult life. it just makes me feel so frustrated because i'm struggling so hard for what? idk. i'm also so desperately scared. i'm scared that one day i'll wake up in the my forties/fifties and realize that i hate my life. maybe i'll look back on this and lament how spoiled/whiny i was. idk. idk.

i'm not looking for an answer to this dilemma, i know this is a decision i'll have to make for myself, but i would appreciate any advice or even words of encouragement. thank you.

Welp. Okay, first of all, I am giving you a big virtual hug and sitting you down at your coffeeshop of choice. So imagine us talking there.

Second, thanks for pouring out your heart to me about this and your various other comments and chats over the years. I only know you as one of my favorite (shh) Tumblr anons on the internet, but I have always seen how thoughtful, smart, and hard-working you are, and I don't take it lightly that you trust me to listen to you and to give you good advice. (Or uh, let's hope, at least not bad advice? Jury's out.) Likewise, I'm absolutely sure that immigrant-child guilt is something to which a lot of my followers can very much relate, and would be happy to talk with you about. So if you are one of said followers and you'd like to encourage anon to reach out to you, please drop a note in the replies! I can't speak to this from personal experience, but I'd love to help connect you to others in your situation. Because yes, it IS absolutely a universal struggle for first- or second-gen immigrant kids: balancing cultural expectations of parents, American opportunities, feeling guilty if you do what you want, etc etc.

Third, and this is just me talking: if you absolutely feel this way, then no, I don't think you should go to medical school. I realize that this is far easier said than done, but if you continue to feel this strongly about it, then... you shouldn't be expected to do it, and that's just something that everyone in your family will have to come to terms with. After all, your parents came to America so you could be raised as an American, and there would be multiple pathways to success -- not whatever just they themselves had to do in order to get here in the first place. I'm afraid that you'll eventually have to bite the bullet and have an honest talk with your parents about this, but it may help if you present this as both your own success and THEIR success. After all, you're smart, talented, you have so many options, and you'll clearly succeed at whatever you choose to do. And that means THEY did their job right: they worked hard, they raised you right, they brought you to a place where there ISN'T just one narrow pathway to having a fulfilling and prestigious career. It doesn't mean they "failed" to make you a doctor. It means they succeeded in making YOU, and opening up so many more things for you to do.

Obviously: that's going to be hard either way, your parents are probably going to be upset, and that's very tough to deal with, especially if you're a close family unit and if you're financially dependent on them. You're the only one who can choose when to have the conversation and what might come of it, but it's still something that you do have the right to do. If you want to research other aid options or scholarship packages, or reach out to financial aid/admissions officers at other schools to see what it might take to transfer (that is, if you need to transfer), that's your right to do. You're an adult now and you have the right to take legal and personal responsibility for your own life. If you know what you want to do and how you want to do it: then again, isn't that why your parents came here? Isn't that what they were working to achieve?

Yes, academia is hard. No, there's no guarantee of getting a job. But there isn't the guarantee of getting a job in medicine either, especially if it's something you're forcing yourself to do and which (as you note) would impact negatively on you, your colleagues, and the patients you would be expected to serve. Especially post-Covid and in the American healthcare system: being a doctor/nurse/healthcare professional SUCKS! Even if you like it and feel called to do it, it still sucks, and the only people earning a lot of money from it are the senior/career/specialist types (as is the case in every field). Of course your parents have expectations and dreams for you, but they also don't get the right to control/dictate your entire adult life just by virtue of deciding to bring you into the world. After all, they did that, and that means embracing you as a person with your own choices. (And this goes for all people with controlling/bossy parents, regardless of immigrant or non-immigrant background). So again: this is what they wanted for you, and you've paid that off already.

I absolutely feel the "I spend all my time thinking/worrying about the future and being scared that I'll end up wasting my life" thing, which I think is common to a lot of high-achieving smart people (we are terminal overthinkers to a one). I can tell you now that life has a way of surprising you, and when you get a little older, you start becoming more comfortable with yourself, your accomplishments, your talents, and knowing what you're good at. So I don't think you will find that you've wasted anything. Likewise, when it comes to studying for advanced degrees in history: do you think it might help with your parents if you agreed to pursue a name-brand school? It's still not guaranteed, but trust me, going to a place like Harvard or Yale makes it tremendously easier to get a job or a future opportunity just by virtue of having that name on your CV and the people you will meet, and I have no doubt that you would be able to get in. As well, I don't really think your parents could argue with you going to an Ivy League, or think that you weren't applying yourself.

Likewise, if there is anything I can do to support you in this, please feel free to message me privately/off anon. I will write a letter of recommendation for you, I will see if I know a person who knows a person, I will help look at application materials, so forth and etc. I mean it: I WILL help you in the real world if I possibly can. I'm sure you have tons of other enthusiastic recommenders, but still. Also, I will say that despite the current (terrible) academic job market, I have seen quite a few openings for professors of African history/African studies/African-American literature and culture, and that's just in the US. There are also lots of opportunities around the world.

Anyway: I hope that's helpful to start with. I am giving you all the hugs. Please reach out to me again (especially via private message) if I can help with this in more tangible ways. And likewise, if any of my followers would like anon to reach out to them: please make a note in the replies. We can do this together.

<3

[donuts4evry1]

I have. Very little data atm so I gotta get this post out fast but.

I was watching a lil presentation on Baja California and I'm disappointed that I didn't hear the Black Sea Nettle come up- mostly because they were talking about species that were successfully brought back from endangerment status (Elephant Seals, some kind of bird, and Grey Whales).

Which unfortunately does not include the Black Sea Nettle as it actively benefits from global warming and ocean acidification and stuff.

Akuros is more or less self conscious about the fact that he's sort of a pest (to humans, but not to me I know better than that) and doesn't get to be in the cool presentation about Baja California.

[slumberinglabyrinth]

Huge fan of the recent trend of GHBs with unique weapon effects, and Aversa being compatible with R Duel Flying makes her lack of merges less of an issue and it outright synergizes with this too and that’s pretty cashmoney of intsys to do

[threepointseven]

hi im breaking down suddenly because i miss my older brothers that are in college - i was told awhile ago that i'd be able to see them during christmas then after they say it wouldn't be possible

so i just want some comfort for it by Scaramohcie as always and Venti since it's somewhat similar to his feelings i guess

- 👩‍🦲

Vent; ☹️

i haven't seen them for half the year already and my eldest brother the first time he went to college in Japan I cried basically everyday and tried clinging onto my other brother as they're only one year apart and due to covid our eldest brother had to come back so i got used to it for awhile but since my father was bored he decided to fly across the country for fun so i also had to go. since the conditions of covid aren't too drastic they're able to attend college properly and they're both in different colleges with same study topic though. anyways i was somewhat disappointed that i couldn't even see their faces through video call during my birthday along with our mother's (november 3rd & 11th) so now i was reminded about them not being able to come here to celebrate christamans

i feel like im being a spoiled child even though im being gifted by my parents friends and some relatives, that i'm just being ridiculous that i'm still not accustomed to it yet - sorry it's so long 😔 merry christanmnas by the way

Comfort

🌺summary!🌺- Scaramouche and venti when your crying and need comfort<3

Type-HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= scaramouche x gn! Reader, venti x gn! Reader

Note🍀= hiya 👩‍🦲anon! Im sorry that you have to deal with this. I know how it feels to have a sibling be away for college and just so ya know i’ll always be here for you okay? My inbox is always open to vent and you can message me any time. I hope scara and venti comforting you can cheer you up a bit. Your loved and safe with me alr!! I hope you know i cherish you and im sure your brothers cherish you just as much as you do, & your not a spoiled child at all. Its human instinct to miss someone you grew up with, dont let those thoughts get to ya okay? I love u, hope you like it!

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Scaramouche

-Well, he’s never been great at comforting, and in any case being gentle at all. He’s simply not used to it.

-But when he catches you on the bathroom floor sobbing with a letter in your hands he cant help but feel terrible.

-He really does try his best even with his rigid attempt at comforting, give him some time. He calms you down enough to take you to your bedroom where he looks at you with an expression of genuine empathy and hesitantly pulls you into a hug, hovering over you almost as an ask for permission before hugging you tight, burying your face into his shoulder.

- he has trouble with it but he’ll try his best to stop you from crying, he wipes away your tears with his thumb as he furrows his brows thinking about what to do.

- he tries his best not to be so aggressive but he just ends up being really passive aggressive.

- during these moments he is not a communication guy, he’ll pour all his love and soul into making you feel comforted with the rare touch he gives you.

- the hugs always seem endless and filled with love while he whispers “its gonna be okay” in such a monotone voice

- He really cant console you or anyone but he wants you to feel better so he’ll also give you practically anything you want, if its snacks or sweets he’ll happily buy you some

- hes patting your head and combing through your hair with his hands as you cry into his shirt- “your gonna stain my white shirt.. “-“so needy..”

- dont listen to the words, by the looks of his eyes you know hes so soft, on the verge of a breakdown himself after seeing you so miserable, he hates every moment when your down, he becomes more rude and more reserved to people that arent you, putting all of his attention on you and trying his best not to let you cry again

Venti

- When he sees you bawling on your bed with your hands to your face his facial expression twists into a horrified one before running to your side and kissing your temples slowly

- He does everything to distract you from that annoying feeling of emptiness

- He’ll kiss every part of your face to get a small smile on your face and try to let your mind take a break from the thought of the thing thats causing you trouble,

- He advises you to just cry it out and he pulls you into his lap while kisses your forehead before letting you sob on his shirt. He doesnt mind it and once in a while gives a bit of commentary

- Despite how sad it makes him watching you cry and scream he knows your gonna feel better after letting it out so he just stays still, patting your head and listening to your vent.

- After your done crying he tried to take your mind off things and put a smile on your face. He plays your favorite songs on the lyre, singing into your ear while he attacks you with tickles, he needs to see you smile again.

- He gives you snacks and food to cheer you up and he offers to take a stroll around windrise or stargaze.

- And maybe if you just need some peaceful cuddling he’ll happily cooperate. He’ll be as close as humanly possible to you, kissing your cheeks and your stray tears away.

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Two // Wanda Maximoff

chapter one | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter three

author’s note: thank you so much for the feedback on chapter one, everyone! i really appreciate and I’m glad you’re excited for more. hope you enjoy :)

"What do you think of this one?"

I pulled a face, shaking my head. My brother sighed dramatically before moving along the display cabinet, searching for the perfect ring.

Just as he'd said at dinner the other night, we were browsing engagement rings for Wanda, and I was (obviously) hating every second of it. My parents thought it would be good to help Y/B/N whilst also getting me more involved in the whole wedding thing; and I couldn't exactly say no to them, so here I was, half interested in what we were doing.

"What if I can't find anything?" Y/B/N asked, chewing the inside of his cheek as he continued to look. "This is the third jewellers we've been to, Y/N."

Figuring it was time to actually make an effort and be a supportive sister, I rested a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You'll find something," I told him confidently. "It just needs to come to you, y'know? She'll love anything you pick."

He smiled at me. "Thanks. I just don't want to disappoint her. The last thing I want to worry about is her hating the ring."

I chuckled, rounding the cabinet to get a look at a different display. "I doubt she'll hate any of this. Girls love jewellery. This is pretty good jewellery."

"Y/N, you hate jewellery," he pointed out with amusement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"I don't hate it," I defended. "I'm just not a fan of shopping for it."

He snickered as he continued to peruse the cabinets. "Well, Wanda seems to love it. D'you see how many rings she was wearing that night?"

I breathed out through my nose, definitely remembering. It was hard to forget when her ring-adorned fingers were brushing the top of my hand every few minutes. But obviously I wasn't going to say that to Y/B/N, so I hummed in response.

It went quiet as I tried to find a ring that would suffice. Rings weren't my taste, personally. I was more of a necklace person, so this was just as difficult for me as it was for Y/B/N. They all looked similar to me though, upon closer inspection, had different engravings and patterns in the gold and silver bands.

"So, what did you think of Wanda's brother?" Y/B/N asked, earning my attention.

He was smiling cheekily as he awaited a response.

"Pietro?" I asked with creased brows. He nodded and I continued, "He was nice, I guess. Has a sense of humour."

My brother gave me a knowing look as he looked at the glass display once again. "He's unmarried you know."

"No, thank you," I answered instantly, not particularly fond of discussing my potential marital future with my brother.

"Oh, don't be like that, Y/N," he said with a laugh. "I'm just looking out for you!"

I drummed my fingers on the cabinet top. "Well, I didn't ask you to. I'm perfectly content as I am."

Y/B/N cocked his head to the side as he glanced at me. "You know you can't stay unmarried forever." I opened my mouth to say something, but he was quick to continue. "And no, not because a woman should marry no matter what. But rather because you will most definitely give mum a heart attack."

I closed my mouth, trying to come up with a response, but my shoulders sank at the truth to his words. He half-smiled when he knew I knew he was right.

"I don't want to think about this now," I decided, waving my hand. "Ring. Look. Now."

He laughed again but nodded and stayed quiet. We both continued to have a look around until I was surprisingly certain that I'd found the perfect ring. There was a case filled with rings holding precious gemstones and a particular one stood out to me.

"Hey, Y/B/N, come here," I called him over, eyes never leaving the ring as I moved closer to inspect it. "What about this one?"

Pointing to the glass case, I chose an elegant silver band with a small, non-dominating emerald gemstone sat on top. It wasn't too flashy nor too plain and something told me that it might just be Wanda's taste.

"It'll match her eyes," I said, watching him as he leaned forward to get a better look. "She'll love it."

My brother seemed confused as he straightened up. "I thought her eyes were brown."

I rolled my eyes, taking a step back. "Fine, get a brown ring."

He tried not to laugh as he raised his hands with defeat. "Okay, okay, I believe you, no need for the sarcasm!" He proceeded to call the shopkeeper over to get the ring and glanced at me once more. "You're one hundred percent sure she's got green eyes?"

"Well, they're hazel, but this will definitely compliment them," I assured him, making him shrug as he looked back to the shopkeeper.

To my own dismay, I was certain her eyes were hazel. They were very inviting and the dinner the other night was evidence of that, as I found myself unable to look away whenever she found my gaze. Hopefully she'd like the ring, I guess.

—

The bothersome thing about my brother's engagement was just how many celebrations that followed. A week after the dinner came the engagement party, a celebratory evening with all of our family and friends and my brother's many admirers. The Maximoffs invited their friends, too, sadly not having any extended family to invite as it was only them here in England.

It was an expensive affair, but so was everything when it came to my brother. There was food, drinks, dancing, gifts and much more for the newly-engaged couple, and I once again found myself dressed in an uncomfortable dress of my mother's choice.

If that wasn't enough of a punishment, I was also reunited with my extended family whom only showed their faces on glamorous occasions such as this one. It's not that I didn't like them, but I felt like I rarely knew them, especially when they shared stories from when they used to see me as a baby and expected me to remember the memory like it was yesterday.

I found myself victim to yet another relative at the start of the evening. This time, it was one of my aunties from my father's side whom I vaguely recognised from my childhood. She'd found me by the snacks table where I was recovering from a previous encounter with a cousin of mine, and immediately began pulling my cheeks and reminiscing on how chubby and cute they were when I was – you guessed it – a baby.

"Auntie, I think that–"

"So grown up, but still so cute!" she gushed, cutting me off and proceeding to yank my cheeks so hard that they began to hurt.

I winced, trying to back away, but she dragged me closer by the face, making me groan with displeasure. 

"Y/N, there you are!"

The only reason I knew it was Wanda who called for me was because of her Russian accent, otherwise I was still unable to turn and check because my auntie had me trapped. When Wanda came into sight, stopping by the two of us, my auntie finally let go, now distracted by the brunette. I exhaled gratefully, hands rubbing my cheeks to relieve the ache. I had no doubts they were red from the pinching. God, I hated family reunions.

"I'm very sorry to interrupt," Wanda apologised with an endearing smile as she looked to my auntie, "but please may I steal Y/N away from you for a moment?"

My auntie nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, dear! You're family now! Do whatever you like."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as she said that. Wanda flashed her a final smile before tugging me away, near some deserted high table.

"What did you need?" I asked, quirking a brow.

She was looking around the room when I asked her, before her eyes focused on me. Unlike me, she seemed very comfortable in this environment, and the dress she wore was perfect for her. A scarlet-coloured gown that put anybody else's clothes here to shame. Did she just look good in everything or something?

"I didn't actually need anything," she answered, licking her lips. "I just saw your auntie harassing you and figured you'd like the escape."

Surprised at her observant nature, I cleared my throat and relaxed my shoulders. "Oh, well thanks."

She smiled widely, teeth shining and eyes sparkling and I was now beginning to think she truly had no flaws.

"You look beautiful tonight by the way," she said, and there was nobody around to hear it which made me think she wasn't trying to kiss up like I'd assumed initially.

"Thanks," I returned with a small smile. "I– er– so do you. Is that your favourite colour?"

She was wearing a similar colour the first night we met, so I could only assume it was. Which was a good choice, since she looked good in it.

She glanced down at her dress and nodded. "Something like that."

I leaned on the table as I watched her curiously. "Shouldn't you be with Y/B/N?"

Looking back up, she grinned mischievously. "You trying to get rid of me already?"

Shaking my head, I tried to find the words to say that I wasn't and she'd misinterpreted, but she was doing that thing again where she wouldn't look away first, her eyes glowing with amusement. If I wasn't certain before today that her eyes were a bright hazel colour, I definitely was now.

"I'm kidding," she finally said, laughter spilling from her lips. It was a sweet sound and I suddenly envied my brother for being able to hear it whenever he pleased.

"I just thought that you would be together since it's your engagement party," I explained, a little more flustered than I'd wanted to be.

Her lips pressed together in a suppressed smile as she nodded behind me. I spun around, following her gaze, and spotted my brother across the room charming some guests with, no doubt, another epic tale of his career.

"He seems to be doing fine on his own, milaya," Wanda whispered into my ear, making me freeze at the warmth of her breath tickling my skin.

Shivers ran down my spine as she was close enough for her perfume to infiltrate my nose. Swallowing hard, trying not to be very much attracted to her accent when she spoke English but also Russian, I took a moment to breathe out and clear my head of thoughts containing the Maximoff woman. When I was sure I was okay, I craned my neck to speak to her, only to feel my mouth go dry.

She was stood very close to me still, a teasing smirk on her lips. Up close, her eyes were intoxicating, drawing me in and making me forget where we were and what we were talking about.

"Do I make you nervous, Y/N?" she asked quietly, feigning innocence, her accent thicker than usual.

My lips parted as I tried to say something, but her eyes were distracting and her lips were curved upwards perfectly and I suddenly forgot how to speak English.

She chuckled, stepping back slightly, and I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress as Wanda watched me with amusement.

"Your mother is calling you," she said, nodding behind me. And then I heard my mother indeed calling my name. "I'll leave you to it. Try not to fall victim to another family member."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, eyes falling to her mouth as she bit her lower lip to contain a smile. What was she getting out of this? Did she find joy in making me flustered or was she actually flirting right now? The latter couldn't be possible... she was going to marry my brother. This was her engagement party for crying out loud! She was definitely enjoying making me stumble over myself.

"Right," I spoke, finally finding my words.

With a quick nod, I looked away and followed the sound of my mother's voice. I was unsure why I felt the need to look over my shoulder, but when I did, I saw Wanda watching me still, eyes gleaming even with the distance. I looked away instantly, hoping this weird, flirtatious behaviour of hers would cease soon. I wasn't sure I could take anymore of it.

—

The evening was going well following Wanda's (what I was now calling) tormenting. I stuck to myself when my mother wasn't dragging me around, forcing me to mingle with family friends.

Tucked in the corner with a book I'd managed to sneak along was a good pastime, until halfway through the evening, everybody was brought to the front of the room for an announcement. I almost missed it if it weren't for Pietro finding me and trying not to laugh at my complete disconnect from the event around me.

"They're exchanging the rings," he told me, pulling me from my table and to the front. "Family's got to be there. Including you, Y/N."

I rushed to put my bookmark between my pages as he tugged me along, finally stopping by the front of the crowd alongside our mothers. Standing before everyone were our fathers and the engaged couple themselves, all smiling and putting on the perfect show.

"We are privileged to announce the engagement and union of my beloved daughter, Wanda Maximoff, and everybody's favourite author, Y/B/N Y/L/N," Oleg announced proudly, glass of champagne in his hand.

Both Y/B/N and Wanda exchanged smiles before looking out to everyone. When my brother's eyes met mine, I smiled encouragingly, and when Wanda's eyes met mine, my smile faded as she grinned my way, eyes saying a thousand things, none of which I could decipher.

"They will now present each other with the rings," my dad said, making the crowd chatter excitedly amongst themselves.

All eyes were on the couple as they presented their rings. Wanda had gotten Y/B/N a plain silver band, perfect for the guy who wasn't a fan of jewellery, and he wore it with pride. Then Y/B/N offered up the ring we'd picked in the store and Wanda's smile was as wide as ever when she saw it.

He placed it on her ring finger and she studied it once more, the emerald sparkling under the light and making all the women in the crowd jealous. She pulled him in for a grateful hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and I found myself looking away, not particularly a fan of them getting cosy.

"Gross, right?" Pietro asked, nudging me in the arm slightly. He was trying not to laugh as he avoided looking at the couple up front. "Like, we get it, you're engaged."

A smile appeared on my lips as I glanced at the silver-haired publisher, appreciating his attempt to make me laugh.

"Gross indeed," I agreed.

He rolled his eyes playfully before looking forward again, watching as my father continued to make a speech about how great it was to unify our families.

I listened in, though I'd heard the same spiel several times at home when they'd initiated the idea in the first place. Judging from the look on Pietro's face, he'd heard the same, and I was glad it wasn't just me who felt icky about this whole thing.

This evening couldn't end any sooner.

—

"I just don't understand why I need to go," I complained to my mother.

She was sat before her mirror, finishing applying her makeup and looking presentable for the girl's trip she'd planned for Iryna, Wanda, herself and I.

"Because you're going to become Wanda's sister-in-law and we are all going to become a family," she said like it was obvious, not bothering to look my way. "It'll be fun, Y/N."

I groaned quietly, leaning against the doorframe. A servant fussed around my mother's room, tidying up the mess of clothes she'd left in her wake from picking an outfit. I watched her with boredom, knowing I'd take that job over today's plans any day.

"You might make a new friend with Wanda," my mum continued delightfully. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

I tensed my jaw, eyes narrowing into the window ahead. "Yeah, really nice, mum."

"Good, now go and w–" she began, but was cut off when the doorbell rang from downstairs. Waving her hand, she said, "Go greet the Maximoffs whilst I finish up here, dear."

I sighed, straightening up. "Do I have a choice?"

"Don't forget to smile!" she called after me.

Making my way downstairs, I saw one of our servants opening the door and greeting the Maximoffs politely before letting them inside. Upon spotting me descending the staircase, Iryna smiled brightly.

"Y/N, dear, how lovely to see you!" she exclaimed, and when I got to the bottom, she pulled me in for a surprise hug. "How are you doing this morning, my dear?"

After recovering from the surprise hug, ignoring the way Wanda stifled laughter from behind her mother, I stepped back and gave the older woman a genuine smile.

"I'm doing good, Miss Maximoff," I said, and when she gave me a stern look, I backtracked, remembering her words from the engagement party a few nights ago. "Iryna– right, sorry. I'm doing good. And yourself?"

"Very good now that we're here," she said cheerfully, before nodding for Wanda to join her side. "Wan, what are you doing there? Come and give your sister-in-law a hug the right way!"

I gulped as Wanda did as her mother said, stepping forward without hesitation and pulling me in for a quick hug. Not wanting to look like an idiot, I wrapped my arms around her torso, hoping I wasn't as stiff as I felt. Once again, she smelt really good and I forgot how to breathe.

"Good morning, milaya," she muttered in my ear before pulling away with a harmless smile.

"Morning," I got out, being sure to avoid her gaze as I looked back to her mother. "Can I offer either of you a cup of tea? Or a drink? My mother is just finishing getting ready."

"No need, Y/N!" my mum called as she walked down the stairs behind me. Wearing an apologetic smile, she looked to Iryna and Wanda. "Sorry about that, ladies. I'm all ready to go if you are."

After sharing a greeting with them, my mum led us all outside to the carriage that was waiting to take us into town. We got in and were soon on our way to have the time of our life! (Cue the sarcasm).

"So, Y/N," Iryna said, and I looked up to see her sat beside Wanda who was sat opposite me. "What are your thoughts on this whole engagement? It was quite the affair the other night!"

I forced a smile as I nodded respectfully. "It was a great evening, Iryna. A great start to a successful marriage, I'm sure."

That seemed to start Iryna on a tangent about the engagement and how lovely the evening was and all of the new family members she met on our side. A sigh escaped my lips as I practically relived it with her retelling, making my mum nudge me in the arm gently but scoldingly.

"...and the ring!" Iryna enthused, not noticing my disinterest. "Don't get me started on the ring. Is there anything Y/B/N isn't good at?"

I could name a few things, yes.

With difficulty, I pressed my lips together to stop myself from cracking a knowing smile. Iryna told Wanda to hold out her hand so she could take another look, and as she did, it was the first time I'd seen the ring up close since she'd been given it. I glanced between the ring and her eyes and knew I'd made the right decision.

My mother began to shower Wanda in compliments – "Oh, it matches your eyes, dear! It's like it's meant to be!" – as I sat back and wished we'd arrive at the shops already.

"Between us ladies," my mum said playfully to Wanda, "is it good enough or did you expect something better?"

Wanda chuckled, shaking her head. "I didn't have any expectations, Y/M/N. I would have been happy with whatever Y/B/N picked. But this... this is absolutely stunning. He clearly put a lot of thought into it."

Yes, of course he did. So thoughtful, isn't he? Especially his attention to detail, like when he remembered the colour of your eyes.

Oh, wait.

After what felt like forever, we finally reached the shops and could escape that shrinking carriage for a few minutes before heading into a dress shop to suffocate yet again.

As usual, I followed my mother around like a lost puppy, letting her take the lead with picking some clothes. She was deep into conversation with Iryna, the two of them bonding instantly as they talked about their interests and marriage and their children's engagement.

At one point, I left them to it, resorting to browsing through a rack that had some pretty pastel dresses hanging from it. I didn't have plans to buy anything since I didn't need anything, but it didn't hurt to look.

"Hey," Wanda's voice echoed from behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder to see her joining my side.

"Hey," I replied, continuing to look through the dresses.

She browsed through the rack also, going through each dress slowly as she smiled to herself. "So, you don't like shopping I take it."

I hummed in agreement. "Not really."

She nodded, continuing her browsing. "You don't like parties either. Or dinners." I hummed again and she continued, "And you don't like it when your brother gets all the attention."

I hummed subconsciously, before realising what she said. Stopping my browsing, I looked to her with furrowed brows. "I never said that."

Mischief dancing in her eyes, she glanced me way and winked playfully. "You didn't need to."

Clenching my jaw slightly, I busied myself with going through the hangers, hoping the heat creeping up my neck would disperse. I wasn't going to let Wanda get to me yet again. It was like she had some kind of magic spell on me, making me unable to think straight whenever she was in my vicinity.

"I know you picked my ring by the way," she said after a moment of silence.

I licked my lips and played dumb, not looking her way. "What do you mean? Y/B/N chose it."

She snickered. "I know it was you, Y/N. No man in the world is that thoughtful."

I stayed quiet, figuring it was my best option. She seemed to find this entertaining as she turned to face me, leaning against the rack and watching me curiously.

"I must ask though. Why emerald?"

Fingers playing with the fabric of the dress before me, I shrugged nonchalantly. "Why not?"

She laughed, and it was the second time she'd done so so freely, making the pit of my stomach flip uncontrollably at the sound.

"You don't seem like the type to just do things," she observed. "There had to be a reason. Please enlighten me."

Once again, I shrugged as I made sure not to look her way. I wasn't planning to get sucked in by her killer eyes yet again.

"I'm not blind," I told her casually. "I saw it and remembered that you have hazel eyes that sometimes look green. I thought it would suit you. A mere artistic observation."

"Ah, I see," she said with a nod, playing along. "Well, you have good taste. Thank you. I adore it."

"It was nothing," I assured her, hoping she couldn't hear my heart beating ever-so-quickly in my chest. The longer she watched me, the more flustered I got.

Suddenly, she stepped forward, her hand resting on the small of my back. The simplest of touches had me paralysed, at a loss for words, frozen in place. Mentally I knew that it wasn't right that she made me react like this. But my body wouldn't listen to my brain and Wanda seemed to realise that, clearly revelling in my misery.

"So, you remembered my eye colour after just two meetings, huh?" she asked lightheartedly, leaning in, her hand still pressed to my back gently.

Finally finding the ability to stand my ground, I said, "I'm very observant," and I turned to look at her to show her that whatever game she was playing wasn't going to work anymore. Of course, that was a huge mistake, because as soon as my eyes locked with hers, I lost all resolve.

"That you are," she noted with a smirk, before her hand dropped to her side and she nodded to the long-forgotten dress in my hand. "You should get it. It suits you."

And with that comment, she left me alone to join our mothers yet again. I breathed out shakily, realising that Wanda Maximoff was becoming a bigger issue than I thought. 

After purchasing some new dresses from several stores (no, I didn't buy the dress Wanda wanted me to), the four of us stopped by a café for a spot of lunch. Despite the flustered mess I became whenever Wanda gave me more attention than we both know she should have, I was having an okay time.

Iryna was very sweet, wanting to get to know me since we would be family soon, and made me feel at ease whenever she could. My mother was too distracted by her and Wanda's presence to tell me off for complaining, and it was just genuinely kind of nice to get out.

I was drinking a cup of tea as we waited for our food order when my mum tried to get the details on Wanda's newly-planned date with my brother in a few days.

"You're going to the theatre, right?" she asked Wanda eagerly, as if she didn't already know everything anyway.

Y/B/N had talked about this literally last night at dinner. It was to be Wanda's and his first official date, and the first real opportunity away from family and prying eyes to get to know each other better.

"Yes, he got tickets to see a new play I've never heard of," she admitted with a chuckle. "It'll be a chance to get to know him better. The only things I know of him are what my family have told me and what I've learnt from everyone around us."

Iryna smiled as she watched her daughter, whilst my mother waved her hand optimistically.

"Oh, I'm sure the date will go splendidly," she assured Wanda. "It's no secret that you're both very attractive, young adults. If there are no sparks between you, then we're all done for."

At this comment, Iryna and my mother both erupted into laughter, like it was some kind of joke that only middle-aged women seemed to get. I raised my eyebrows and dropped them behind a cup of tea, figuring it was best to stay quiet.

"I'm sure it will," Wanda said in agreement, though her voice was quieter, unable to be heard behind their laughter.

Surprisingly, I found myself intrigued by this rarely seen version of Wanda. It was a similar version to the one I'd seen the night of the dinner, when I showed her around upstairs and the conversation of my brother crept in. It wasn't hard to forget her ability to dance around the question to whether she liked him or not.

And now, she seemed to wear a false smile as she mulled over their date. I guess it was strange to see since I naturally figured she'd want to marry him – pretty much any woman in the city did – but maybe that wasn't the case.

"...tell her what he's like," my mother insisted, pulling me away from my observation. "You're his sister. Who better than you to give her an idea?"

Realising what she was saying, I tried not to choke on my tea. I lowered the cup and shook my head calmly, though the intent was very much urgent.

"She should just see," I said uncertainly. "I mean, what better way to know than to just speak to him?"

One deathly glance from my mother and I straightened up, looking to the Maximoffs before me.

"But if I was to say something," I continued smoothly, making my mother relax at my words, "I'd say that my brother has always been a very respectful man. He's kind-hearted and he's caring."

Iryna was hanging onto my every word whilst Wanda stared at me but seemed elsewhere.

"And he's really excited to get to know you better, Wanda," I said truthfully, looking to the oddly-quiet brunette with a small reassuring smile. "He really likes you."

Iryna mentioned something about Y/B/N being just the man her Wanda deserves, but I was barely paying attention as I looked to the girl in question. She returned my smile, void of teasing or mischief like usual, and nodded quickly before looking down to her own cup of tea.

She was certainly a strange one.

[frogsandfries]

Let's talk projects

I don't really talk about my work much anymore/lately. I just don't have much to say lately. I'm not up to anything big; I don't have a studio, so I can't do much sculpting. I fill my time with embroidery, and pin design and bead pattern-making on my tablet. I get paid Thursday, and while getting a set of wheels is my big priority, I'm really desperately crossing my fingers that I have something left over to start working on this bead pattern:

Feel free to try it out, if it strikes your fancy. I really put a lot of time and effort into it, but literally all I'm asking is that you give me a mention. I would also love to know how it went for you. I designed it for 15/0 beads, and theoretically, it should weave up to about the size of a credit card or playing card. I have no idea what I intended for a finished weaving; I'm not even certain that it will look good finished, but you can keep an eye out on my art Tumblr, Stosphia.

If this works, I was thinking about using it to illustrate at least a couple hundred frames of my graphic novel. I know, I know: What graphic novel? I don't even really write anymore, and my life has been such chaos and disorder for the last three years, my project reflects that. What in the ever-hecking heck was I imagining I would do with the weavings themselves? Also, it's an awful lot of work for a graphic novel.

This is a very grungy, grimey tarot card patch that is slightly, weirdly, just a tiny little bit warped and stretched. Noob mistake.

It's in a six-inch hoop, and it got stretched the slightest bit from the original four-and-three-quarter inches. Apart from being grimey, which I should be able to Oxy back in order, I've been making incredible progress here in Arizona. I started this in January, and back in Wisconsin, I had been working full time as well as trying to work on a conversion van. Embroidery just wasn't a priority. Most of my time in Oregon, I was too depressed to function because of the guy we were stuck with. Here in Arizona, I walk most of the day and it's rarely gloomy or cloudy. I also only work part-time, so I have plenty of time on my hands.

The reason I like the tarot and ATC formats is that obviously, there's not so much space to fill, so even if it's a silly and weird idea to embroider tarot or ATCs, they're small enough to work up (relatively) quickly, as well as small enough to wear. I definitely love the wearability factor.

I wonder if it might not be a good idea to take a break between this and my first graphic novel ATC to stitch something more random, more for fun. Something simple that I might be able to show off in public, maybe even at work.

Which reminds me.

At about four-by-three inches, I wouldn't call this small, but I designed this before I saw a Single Pale Rose. And I've been thinking about it maybe kind of a lot lately. It was supposed to be kind of a memorial-style piece. Now I'm not sure.

Regardless, this is not an inbetweeny piece. This patch, if I did stitch it, would be its own piece. For my inbetween/stretching/warmup/fun patch, I have a handful of small little doodles that I might try. Or, I was going to experiment with flair-style hand-stitched pokemon. Even at the rate I've been charging along, my first tarot card still probably has a couple weeks left on it, which means I have some time to decide.

I know a while back I was complaining about not being crazy about the Print-Stitch-Dissolve paper. Unfortunately, before I got to give it a second shot, my pack was ruined in rainy Oregon, so even if I don't have money for beads, I definitely want to order a new pack of Print-Stitch-Dissolve paper. I'm so disappointed and annoyed because it's expensive for paper and I'm not sure I'll change my mind even after this experiment I have planned. Before I throw away the damaged pack, I'm going to see if I can salvage any bit of it.

That's pretty much it. There are certainly projects that I want to be working on, but between my friend's fines, my bill, only working part-time, and not having our own transportation, I'm just making it work with what I have. I have a tablet; I have massive amounts of embroidery thread; and I have time.

[edgy-sim]

15 March

fml

I hate my life but more than that i hate my mom. If there was an award for shitty mom of the year, I'm sure she'll get one. Not only has she emotionally damaged to such an extent, that i can't open up about my declining mental health to anyone except an online person, she has also been the cause of it. Its just fucking sad how incompetent she is, at everything she does. Being a mother is not something she's good at, and because of how retarded this society is, its been normalised to a great extent.

My dad and grandmother fucking died in the span of 1 week, relatives were here for 3 fucking months and they're still disappointed i didn't score as much as her. I'm so fucking done with this shit. They should be glad I didn't shoot myself in the head. This woman is so fucking frustrating, its not even funny. Immature, Impatient, insensitive, too sensitive, dumbfuck, arrogant and every other bad adjective in the dictionary. I'm not even exaggerating at this point. I hate being here, having to deal with her emotional tantrums.

I'm fucking 15, they've dumped all the responsibilities on my head while i get no credit for it. They make fun of everything about me. My ideas, my dreams, my aspirations even my ability to get sad.

I hate my body, but I can't stop eating. Every thing that gives me pleasure isn't working anymore. No one sees it. I leep laughing, making fun of me, laughing as other make fun of me. Its not that bad, he tries to listen but idk. I feel like its better if I distance myself. I'm addicted, wouldn't wanna waste time on something that has no chance of lasting anyways. He needs to focus on his stuff too. I keep venting everyday to him but i feel like i should stop burdening him with it.

She's just so fucking immature, like even a 6 year old would be better than her. My brother is being spoiled by her too. I guess I kinda do feel jealous but I still worry yk. Its not gonna be pretty when he's older and still weak in academics. Who knows. Sheesh yk he's so patient with me. like he hmms a lot but but its good because it feels like he's just there. I can't explain but its warm. Warm is rare. I don't feel safe in this house. I feel safer and more at home in his DMs than my own house. I guess that's kinda pathetic and sad but it is what it is. No one is here for me, no one gives a fuck.

My mom is just preoccupied with herself and honestly she's so weak and broken. Im fine with it.

I just wish i wasn't he older one and someone else could take the responsibility from me. I really miss my dad. I wish he was here to handle her. I hate being old. I wish I was a little girl without responsibilities. But I'm just a fat girl with a shit ton of stress and responsibilities. I guess they're trying their best, its not her fault she's retarded and overly emotional, she's trying her best as a mwntally 13yo girl.

He's very similar to you yk. Like more quiet maybe, but that might be cause he's not my dad and a bit awkward. You weren't awkward from what I remember. But he's like, centrist like you and fun like you. Mostly warm like you and I miss being warm. Its immature I know, it'll be in the past in a bit. But as long as it is, I'm grateful. I just wish I wasn't missing being warm and safe, but you're not here and the house is just not safe. No one to protect me when she loses it. I had an anxiety attack kinda thing. Maybe I was pretending, but it happened when she touched me. I hate feeling like this. I hope it gets better.

(⌐■-■)

[orionsangel86]

re: the last two episodes - that's how we know destiel wasn't an unintended by-product of cockles. when they don't want the ust, they act without it. like, I'm losing hope Saz - I've never seen them so flat around each other. it's like they don't even know each other. remember that comic on how Dean wouldn't let Cas go to the bathroom alone after he got him back? yeah, apparently that's not happening. they're going nowhere with this.

Oh nonny, I am so sorry you feel this way but I am really struggling to see what you mean? When were they flat around each other? 

I think you need to be careful about looking at the destiel content on tumblr and then expecting it in the episode. Whilst I can understand that you feel disappointment that Dean didn’t fight for Cas to stay a bit more, because the comic and all of fandom was poking fun at Dean’s mother hen routine and speculating him being really clingy with Cas following his death and resurrection, I actually really liked that Dean trusted him to go and do what he had to do. It’s a sign that they are in a relatively healthy place.

In fact it was really interesting seeing Dean actually use the right freaking pronouns for the first time ever. Not once in that scene did we get Sam’s view. Nor did Sam even get invited along. It was literally all about Dean and Cas:

Dean: Alright, well let’s go

Cas: Dean you can’t accompany me. My contact is already anxious about meeting and won’t speak in the presence of a stranger.

Dean: So introduce me, then I’m not a stranger. I’ll bring a six pack.

Now aside from the fact that Cas’s next sentence is kind of irrelevant and nonsensical to this argument (how does swearing to protect Jack have anything to do with not bringing Dean along? Thanks Bucklemming for that nonsense) this is the first time that Dean and Cas use pronouns correctly. Sam is sitting RIGHT there and there isn’t a single “we” or “us”, in sight and Cas uses the singular “stranger” as well. They NEVER do this because we have been consistently frustrated over their use of the plural pronouns when we KNOW they MEAN the singular form.

Like Sam assumed Dean would want to team up with Cas alone in 13x06, here both Dean and Cas assume that Sam isn’t part of this discussion and don’t even consider if he would come along or not. (poor Sam - He would hate the UST anyway).

I will agree that Cas was kind of cold here. I thought he was kind of cold in 13x06 as well. There is fond exasperation and then there is a lack of care and Cas seems very focused in on Jack right now which is why I am side eyeing him at the moment - but I don’t want to get into the why’s and what’s of that because any meta about Cas on tumblr right now will just blow up in my face cos everyone has been super sensitive about Cas since the season 12 finale so sod that. Pfft.

Dean however is still acting perfectly in character and I thought his acceptance of Cas asking him to let him go was excellent character growth. Dean trusts Cas completely, and honestly it is a massive indicator of his love for the guy when really, Cas hasn’t been a very trustworthy husband recently (though I blame first his depression and secondly Jack for that).

I am in no way worried that this scene some how disproves destiel. Just because Dean wasn’t fighting Cas more or acting more worried about him going off on his own again. I thought it was an excellent moment for them and honestly nonny, its rare that they have moments of full on UST nowadays. I recently re-watched season 4 and holy smokes every single deancas scene oozes sexual tension and makes me squirm from the intimacy. It was all eye sex back then, but nowadays they have settled down, they are an old married couple after all. They don’t have eye sex anymore they have tender eye love making I mean did you SEE the end of 13x05?!?

Also this:

“that's how we know destiel wasn't an unintended by-product of cockles. when they don't want the ust, they act without it.”

is a GOOD thing. We don’t WANT destiel to be an unintended by-product of cockles. We want destiel to be a conscious thing that they act out purposely because it is written into the script and the direction they are given is to act like lovers/husbands etc. They have proven this point though for years. Dean had no sexual tension with Jimmy Novak for instance. He didn’t have any sexual tension with Casifer either, and I can guarantee that when Asmodeus takes Cas’s form, there will be no tender eye love making between them and Dean will figure out straight away that this is not his husband. Destiel is not created by Misha and Jensen having some major attraction to each other. Whether or not that is true, they are both professional actors who are able to keep it in their pants until the camera stopped rolling. 

I’m sorry that you are losing hope hun, but look usually we all feel a little bit down after a Bucklemming episode (and confused and exasperated and annoyed and sometimes furious), but I don’t see anything that is a concern for destiel here. In fact I am almost certain that come the second half of the season we will all be screaming about something or another that they did. In season 12 we got an “I love you” AND a mixtape.

I can’t ever say for certain that they are gonna go there. I can only analyse the scenes I’ve been given and come to a conclusion which is my own interpretation, and we all see things differently, but right now I am so not worried. IMO Destiel is endgame, and I happen to think that we are still right on track.