#They were the classic enemies to lovers | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alphabetboyluvr · 1 year ago

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habits of a clandestine nature | jjk

pairing: collegejk x female oc (angst, smut)

warnings: college!jk, rich!jk, he's a college nepo baby!!!, waitress!oc, flashbacks to summer, (mild) enemies to lovers, oc lives with tae (they're besties), jk is besties with jimin, mentions of parents infidelity, mentions of oc's virginity (lost prior to the story starting), a little angsty, jk is nawt a fuckboi, but he is stewpid, unprotected sex, bathroom escapades, multiple positions, oral (f), mentions of blowjobs, house parties, jackson wang!!!!!!!, yoongi has no lines but is also one of my fave characters lmao

wordcount: 16k

note from holly: this was written as a commission over on ko-fi!! it went through soooo many changes and edits - at one point it was over 24k lmao. i have so much lore and backstory for this couple, but I'll save it for a rainy day!! one of the main prompts was the 2004 classic a cinderella story, and there are little nods to it throughout the story, including the diner name!! a commenter on wattpad said the pairing reminded them of danny and sandy from grease and like... i see it lmao. anywaysss enjoy!! <33

minors dni // cross posted to wattpad

It's a well-trained habit, your fleeting glance towards the door of Montgomery's Diner when the bell rings.

Though the clatter of cheap porcelain being stacked on a tray almost manages to drown out the chiming metal, it's never quite enough. Softening your hardened expression, you continue on with your work, careful to not let your contempt show too much.

You already know who it is—or at least, who it could be. Only saw the girl leading the pack, but know that where Claudia goes, the rest of The Untouchables will surely follow.

Gorgeous in a way that money can't buy, and careless in a way that money makes up for, she's never taken personal issue with you. Barely even registers your existence.

From your quick look, you know that it's not just the girls today. It's the guys, too.

All with parents on the college board, they're regarded as campus royalty. Are aptly known as The Untouchables, 'cause the rules that apply to you don't apply to them. They'll likely continue with their lives in a similar manner for years to come, and will pass these attributes off to their offspring, whom they'll name after countries or distant relatives who were once regarded to be regal.

Gathering up the last of the discarded napkins on the table, you take one final, fleeting look just to see if a familiar face is with them.

It's not that you actively want to see him.

You just haven't seen him in the best part of a fortnight, which is odd.

He's been in your section of the Diner near enough every single night of the past three months—but school is starting up again, and he's got appearances to keep.

God-forbid Jeon Jungkook—son of the Admissions Director and heir-apparent to an unholy amount of real estate tied to the university—ever associates with the lowly scholarship kids like you.

The only reason The Untouchables ever come to this Diner is because it's the last remaining place close to the university that hasn't been snapped up and integrated into the campus. You guess it must feel like freedom to them, in a way.

In fact, you know this is the case. Jungkook has told you himself.

Has told you a lot.

Told you far too much.

Such candid honesty from him, shared during the lonely heat of a sweltering summer, is what makes it so jarring when he looks away as soon as his dark eyes meet yours.

Tall, broad, handsome; he's everything the gossip magazines you read during your downtime swoon over, but also everything they warn against. Too pretty for his own good, the resident agony aunt would call him if she were ever to see him. Would assume his ego is far larger than his shoe size; superiority complex embedded into his skin like the ink of his tattoos.

And while you think that perhaps those assumptions could be true, you also know the reality of him; how gentle his hands can be. Helpful, too. Delicate. Ornate, almost, when they fold bills into five petal flowers. Strong, when they grip the back of your neck. Commanding, when they're wrapped around his leather steering wheel.

You shouldn't know the way his car smells. Shouldn't know how he presses the heel of his palm against the wheel when he's reversing, or just how easy it is to clamber into the backseats over the centre console.

But you do, and it rests on your tongue like a dirty little secret desperate to escape: I know you.

You're not sure if you know him better than The Untouchables, but you know him independent of them. Not many people do.

It's rare to find him without Jimin cracking a joke by his side, or Claudia making a slightly mean remark masked as innocent ignorance as she leads him astray.

But summer happened, and so did Jungkook. With his friends away at their holiday homes, and his father's infidelity ripping his family apart at the seams, he'd needed something to stitch himself back together. Let you thread yourself through his very being, and once you'd tied yourself in a pretty little bow around his heart, he'd cut you off.

Is that not what all craftsmen do, though? Discard what no longer serves a purpose?

Memories of him, in all the places you never should have let him in, ravage your thoughts.

The scent of his aftershave lingers on the childhood plushie he used to tease you for having on your bed, but would also automatically hug into his chest every single time he entered your room.

The things he did—and the things he didn't do—corrupt your dreams and leave you restless when you wake.

The smudged mascara under your eyes hides the bags from your lack of sleep, and your only respite is that the little puffs beneath his eyes are extra prominent today. He's tried, too.

For a minute, you feel vindicated.

It doesn't last.

For the past few months, if he's been sleeping badly, you've known about it. Kept him company in this very Diner, or in the basement of a party house he was dumb enough to take you to, forgetting he'd have to return there after summer finished, too.

The walls might not talk, but Jackson Wang certainly does. Jungkook knows it's only a matter of time until his dirty little secrets—no matter how pure they actually are—become the talk of the town.

He always slept well in your bedroom, though.

Funny, that.

He's dressed simply, today: white t-shirt, black jeans, chunky black boots on his feet. It's still warm out, even if the sun does begin to set a little earlier than it had been during the hotter months. He's got no need for a jacket, and you despise how undeniably gorgeous his arms are in the dewy humidity. Tattoos trailing up and down his skin, you'd be forgiven for thinking he was a man of complexities.

Turns out he's just like every other good-for-nothing fuck boy who wasn't worth your time.

The Untouchables sit towards the front of the Diner. Your section is at the back, and there's no way in hell you're deviating from your set section. Not today. Not when he's with them.

"I thought we were free," your colleague, Maria, grumbles as you bring your tray to the counter.

Like you, she's a scholarship kid. Is the one who got you the job at the Diner after you both moved into the shared house you live in off-campus. Three of you live there—you, Maria, and Taehyung—and you all share the same disdain for The Untouchables.

"It never ends," you tease in reply. Glance over your shoulder, back at the table.

They're laughing and joking about something you can't quite decipher. All of them, except Jungkook.

There's a sternness to him. One of which you'd forgotten about. With one hand on the table, the other in his lap, his thumb fidgets over his tense knuckles. Sunglasses rest on the crown of his head, pushed up into his hair to hold it back off his face. Staring at nothing much, he's chewing up his bottom lip until he feels the familiar burn of your eyes on him. Looks your way.

It's curious, how looking at you halts his body from its self-soothing actions. He no longer nibbles on his lip. His tightly balled first eases.

"What do you think, Kookie?" Claudia drawls, drawing his attention back to the group. "You coming tonight?"

"Hm?" He questions, eyes pulling away from you. He begins to rub his thumb over his knuckles again. "Sorry, was just looking at the menu board. What are we talking about?"

"Party at the Conservatory," Jimin says from across the table. Though he's the one sitting beside Claudia, everyone knows Jungkook is the one that she's really interested in. Has been since their first day of college. "First of the semester. It's one of their birthdays. Reckon it'll be a big one."

On campus, but close enough to the boundaries that it's never infringed upon by security or university officials, the Conservatory isn't what it seems. A boarding house for the creme-de-la-creme of the Botany and Conservation PhD students, it's surrounded by land. Has rows upon rows of greenhouses for their projects.

Of the few times you've been there, you've always thought it was like a maze. The perfect place to get lost. The perfect place to get found, too.

Unfortunately for the PhD students, the house custodian took on the role for one thing and one thing only: to throw the biggest ragers on campus. Knows fuck all about growing anything that isn't illegal. Only managed to get the role, 'cause like the rest of The Untouchables, his dad works high up in the college. He's a few years older than them. Belongs to a different generation of campus royalty, but is keen on making sure his legacy remains.

After all, there ain't no party like a Jackson Wang party.

Namjoon—one of the Botanists and the birthday boy himself—has started padlocking the greenhouses.

Another one of them—Yoongi—minored in mechanical engineering. Has a coin-operated lock on his bathroom door. Makes enough money from a single Jackson Wang party to sustain himself for an entire month.

Hoseok and Jin, the remaining two, are just as messy as Jackson. Have only started PhDs because they don't know what else to do and don't want their youth to abruptly end. Live for the parties; survive for the studying.

"Now, who's told you that?" Jungkook smiles, as if the prospect of showing up at the Conservatory doesn't make him feel a little bit sick. "Jackson?"

"Obviously."

"Well, of course he's gonna tell you it'll be big," Jungkook laughs. "Wants to rope as many of you fuckers in as he can."

"And it works every time," Jimin smirks back. "If everyone thinks it'll be a rager, everyone will want to go. He's a marketing genius, if you ask me."

Jungkook rolls his eyes. Is fond in how he interacts with his friends. Has grown up with most of them. Whether or not they're everyones cup of tea is debatable, but they're his people.

And yet he finds himself glancing back over to the counter. You're not there anymore. Are out back, he assumes. Knows the layout, now. Where the walk-in freezer is. The little nook that you sit in during your break. He doubts any of his friends have ever been in a commercial kitchen, let alone one at a place like this.

While yes, his friends have only ever been good to him, he knows that it isn't the case for everyone they interact with. Is well aware that his friends would be confused beyond belief if they ever found out he knows how to click through the Diner's cash register and find the discount section. Would be even more perplexed if they were to see his initials hidden in one of the codes.

But summer was lonely.

Or at least it was.

Lonely, until it wasn't. Isolating, until he sought solace in someone he can't even bring himself to speak to in front of his friends.

Casting his eyes back down to the table, well aware that he's got no reason to feel as cut up as he does, he fakes a laugh. Looks up again at his friends with a grin so sincere that they'd never guess the way it feels like his heart is in his throat. "Alright. You're on. What time?"

The conversation dissolves into plans—what to wear, what drink to take.

After a summer apart, Jungkook thought it would be nice to be with his friends again. Thought he'd be excited; that he'd welcome them all back with open arms. Ask them about their summers, and lament his time spent here.

When Jimin asks him why he didn't go to the Italian villa his parents normally insist they spend the summer at, Jungkook shrugs.

"Dad has some stuff to sort out, so it was better to stay here," he says, minimising the reality of what really happened. Even you don't know for certain. All you know is that his father did something incredibly immoral, to the point where Jungkook can't even stand to look at him.

Is why he spent all those nights in the diner.

Was confusing at first. He was always angry. Always frowning. Always ordering black coffees and nothing else, huddled up in the corner booth, away from the world.

But with summer comes monsoons, and with monsoons come terrible conditions for walking home.

He expected you to say no when he offered you a ride. You expected to say no, too—but then a please and thank you had escaped your lips.

A routine grew. Habits formed.

Curious little thing, habits are. 21 days. That's all the time they take to develop.

Jungkook spent 63 days of summer with you in varying capacities. Enough time to learn a habit three times over.

The one that haunts him most is how it felt to have your hand beneath his on his gear stick. Finds the absence of you when he drives unbearable. Knows he's got no one to blame but himself; not just for creating distance, but also for minimising it in the first place.

He's the one who offered you a lift. He's the one who messaged you on your days off to see if you fancied going for a drive. He's the one who didn't turn the AC on just to get you shaking your jacket off your shoulders.

And he's the one that drove you out to the coast one evening for no other reason than wanting to hear the waves. He's the one who opened up to you about his family. He's the one that made things more than what they were.

Had walked along the shore with you, too scared to hold your hand beneath the lunar light. Opted for playful banter instead, nudging you into the lapping waves.

But the waves got bigger, and Jungkook's unbridled desire to have you close did just the same. Like always, he took things too far. Drenched in sea water, you'd laughed with him for the entire ride home.

Invited him in. Said, "The salt will ruin your clothes. We should wash them."

"Hand wash only," he'd said, pinging his damp t-shirt against his chest. It stuck to him in such a way you learned all of his edges before you ever saw him naked—not like there was much time between these two instances. Ended up in your shower with him, clothes beneath your feet, the excuse of hand washing disregarded the second he had you naked.

You learned three things about Jungkook in that shower.

The first is that he giggles. Lips on yours, hands clutching your jaw, whenever the water was a little too intrusive, he'd separate with a laugh. Would kiss you again, a smile still on his face. Would pretend as if he wasn't giggling.

But he was, and it was lovely.

The second was that he's the type to lean his head forward, not tip it back. With his hands pressed to the shower tiles behind you as your fingers wrapped around his thick shaft, he let his head dip to his chest. Gave him ample opportunity to press kisses to the top of your head—or at least it did until you got to your knees and started taking his hard cock in your mouth.

"Shit," he had husked. Whined. Praised. "Fuck. You're so fuckin' good at that."

It was around then that you became aware he was a head pusher, too.

Almost as if he was saving the best until last, the third thing you learned was how he likes to cum; in your sheets, cock buried in your pussy, your hands clasped above your head. Missionary, 'cause he likes to kiss you through it. In your bed, 'cause he likes losing himself in everything you are. Prefers finishing inside you, but you refuse to fuck him without a condom so he never gets exactly what he wants. It's close enough, though.

Spent weeks—months—laying unfair claim to your body, and now he can't bring himself to look in your direction. It infuriates you.

But more than anything else, it embarrasses you.

Even your reflection laughs at you. Cackles 'told you so' every time you look in the mirror.

You always wondered why you never heard much about Jungkook's hook ups around campus. Everyone knows about Jimin and how his cock has been perpetually wet since the first day of freshers week, but there's always been a secrecy when it comes to Jungkook.

It's something you've teased him about; in your sheets, bodies clammy, his heart beating so fast in his chest you'd been forgiven for thinking he'd just run a marathon.

"When do I have to sign it?" You had giggled.

"Sign what?" He'd husked, voice all wispy and fucked out.

"The NDA," you'd replied as if it was obvious. "It's been, like, what? A month? Surely it's about time you made sure I kept my mouth shut like all your other girls do?"

On your front, your arms were folded over his chest, and he was gently rearranging the pretty little updo he'd made a mess of. Though he was looking at his hands as he replied, you kept your eyes on his. Studied his sincerity.

"Reason you don't hear about other girls is 'cause there aren't any."

A smile twitched at the corner of your lips, but you didn't let it shine for him.

"Sure."

There was a small jerk to his torso as a breathy smirk formed on his face.

"You think I can't be trusted?"

"I think it's foolish to trust any man."

His deep, dark eyes sank down to focus on yours. Offered you all the sincerity you'd be searching for, and more.

"That's all I am, huh?" He'd challenged you. "Just another one of your men?"

"One of the many," you'd teased just to rile him up a little.

"Ah," he'd played along. "So that's why I always have to wear a condom?"

With a saccharine smirk on your lips, you'd gotten back in position, legs straddled over his hips. Had kissed him. Whispered, "No. That's just because I know it annoys you."

"You annoy me all the time," he'd mumbled into your lips, hands gripping your waist to get you grinding against his still sensitive cock. Barely fifteen minutes since he'd last finished, there was no way he was ready to go again.

"Hm?" You'd hummed against his kisses, then began to work your way down his neck in a way that always got him a little moany. "If I'm so annoying, why are you getting hard again, baby?"

"You can be annoying and hot," he told you as he desperately tried to not let his insatiable need for you show.

"Is that how you like your girls?" You'd ribbed once more, just to piss him off a little. It was never serious. Never something you would actually fret over.

Perhaps you should have done, but then he told you with a little too much candour, "No. It's how I like my girl. Singular."

Loose lips sink ships, and Jungkook was one iceberg away from greeting the ocean floor. Closing his lips back down on yours, he was making sure you were just as insatiable for him as he was for you. He didn't cum again that evening, even if you did more times than you cared to count.

A greedy lover, is Jeon Jungkook. Edacious.

And so you understand, now, why the girls he gets entangled with stay silent; how the hoaxes he plays leave them utterly hysterical. They're subject to silence, because who would possibly believe all those sweet little lies he tells? How mad would they be considered if they tried to convince anyone he has a heart?

His brazen lack of humanity is proven when he comes to pay for the table. Any of them could have done it. Yet he elects to stand in front of your till and wait for you to serve him.

Have you not served him enough?

You refuse to utter a single word in his direction. Don't look at him, don't give him any satisfaction. He can read it for himself, he can pay, and he can fuck off.

"Keep the change," he mumbles tossing down the bills—but like fuck are you gonna keep anything he gives you.

He begins to walk away, a little shrunken in his stature.

"Excuse me, sir."

Stopping dead in his tracks, Jungkook is perplexed to hear you address him so coldly.

"Your change," you say, holding a closed hand out for him to hold his own hand beneath. He doesn't want to cause a scene. Obliges. Is surprised when notes, not coins, fall into his palm.

More specifically, notes folded into the shape of flowers. His handiwork, he's certain. Was something he used to do in the early hours of your late night diner shifts. If he said something a little mean, or bickered with you a little too hard, he'd fold his notes up like posies and give them to you as a remedy.

Never used those notes to buy you real flowers, mind you.

Back when things were still easy, you pulled him up on it. Told him that you'd be far easier to seduce with a little wooing. He'd told you that you were easy to seduce regardless.

You didn't speak to him for the rest of your shift.

Ended it with fourteen folded bills in the shape of a bouquet, and when the backseat windows of his car had a thick veil of condensation coating them that same evening, he'd drawn you flowers on them.

"No point in flowers," he'd told you. "They just wither up and die."

Which is funny, 'cause it kinda looks like Jungkook is doing that very same thing right in this moment. He goes to speak, but nothing comes out.

Disappointing, you think, then realise of course he is. Has done nothing but disappoint you.

You smile. Jungkook looks like he wants to cry. Good.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

21 repetitions. That's how many times it takes to form a habit. You know this.

You also know that 90 days of this repetition will form a habit to last a lifetime.

As you hook up your apron, and free your hair of the ribbon that had been tightly wrapped around your ponytail, you know these are 'lifetime' habits. Apron, then ponytail. Always.

But when you say goodbye to Maria, and ask if she'll be at home this evening, you find yourself leaning into a recently formed habit. It's not anything particularly noteworthy. Not something anyone would notice.

Well, not anyone who matters. You don't think Jungkook counts as someone who matters, anymore.

But he'd noticed; how you'd started glancing across to his parking spot whenever you clocked out. Had teased you for it. Asked you if it was the highlight of your day, seeing him there, as if it wasn't the highlight of his.

You should have known the playful banter when he told you not to get used to it wasn't really banter at all.

Yet here you are, glancing across to his parking spot only to see it empty.

It's not even like it's his spot. Whenever he's with his friends, they walk. Live right on campus, so don't need to drive, and if they do, they'll park right by the doors.

In the height of summer, when the lot was empty and Jungkook wasn't driving for his sake but for yours, he liked to park in the far corner. Said dumb shit about not wanting any weirdos scratching it. Whined and moaned whenever someone performed the very human act of parking next to the only other car in an empty parking lot.

"So many spaces!" He'd blather on. Would speak with his hands. Get deliberately more animated, 'cause it always made you laugh. "And they choose here?!"

The memories make you smile, until the yellow headlights of another car flood into the parking lot. They reveal what's right in front of you; a crowd of cars and not a single one of them you care for.

It's not like you cared for Jungkook, either. Was just something to pass the time when the streets were quiet and his head was loud.

In turn, you gave him quiet, and he made your summer feel loud.

But the leaves are turning brown and the water in the roadside puddles is becoming stale. The seasons have changed and so has the nature of your interactions. It's fine. You don't care. Really. Couldn't think of anyone you'd want to hang around less. Would rather die than associate with The Untouchables.

You never needed a lift, not really. Especially not when it always took you an hour to get home 'cause Jungkook just wanted to keep on driving.

Grumbling to yourself just to try and divert your mind from thoughts of him, your heart almost skips a beat when your phone vibrates in your pocket. For a second, you wonder if it could be him.

Where you at? It could read. I'm here.

Or maybe, I miss you.

I can't sleep without you.

This is so stupid. Can I come over?

It won't say of those things and you damn well know it.

Your text thread is dormant. The last message is from you, two weeks prior.

You: you not coming in tonight?

You: you'll be pleased to know my fairy godmother turned a pumpkin into a carriage to make sure i got home safe x

You: ... at least let me know if ur alive?

Rolling your eyes at how mortifying your desperation feels, the scowl that settles into your expression is comical. It's like you're fighting with the wind that's threading itself through your hair.

Pulling your phone out, the scowl only intensifies.

Jackass Wang: party tonight

You: so????

One thing about Jackson is that he's not gonna leave anyone on read, especially when he's trying to drum up attendees for his parties.

Jackass Wang: so i haven't seen you around for a while, montgomery

"Fuckin' Montgomery," you mutter at the nickname.

It's the one that all of Jungkook's friends seem to refer to you as, as if you don't have a personality outside of your job.

Still, at least Jackson is a little bit inventive with it. Calls you Monts. Monty, Monstera Plant, Monte Carlo, and god knows what else. If it starts with 'Mon,' he's found a way to end it with a cheeky smirk and smug anticipatory look in your direction, as he awaits your reaction.

You: i like it better when i don't see you x

Jackass Wang: you know that isn't true. loverboy will be there. come with him. or don't. i don't care. you can bring your little friends with you.

You: they'd rather die :) x

Jackass Wang: y'know, you're replying an awful lot for a girl who's not interested ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You: you just can't take no for an answer

Jackass Wang: yes i can - but you haven't said no yet. c'mon. loverboy has been moping around all week. i can't be arsed with his mardy ass energy all evening.

You: so don't invite him???? i don't see why it's my problem?????

The fact that you don't need clarification of who Jackson means is proof enough that perhaps Jackson's onto something.

Jackass Wang: conservatory any time after 9. be there or be square montgomery. or don't be. i'm sure loverboy can get his dick wet without you, but it's easier for everyone if he doesn't.

You: charming x

Jackass Wang: it's why the ladies love me.

You: all of them except this one, apparently. have a nice party. stay away from the drugs.

Jackass Wang: can't be tamed, monte carlo. nor can loverboy. come keep him company.

The block button towards the top of your message thread looks incredibly tempting. Just a single click and you'll never have to deal with Jackson Wang and his dumb parties ever again.

Part of you can't believe you've ever been associated with them, as it is.

Summer defied the conventions of the life you've built for yourself. You weren't the person you thought you were.

Kicking off your shoes when you arrive home, the door slams shut behind you. A gentle voice calls through to check if it's you.

"Maria's still working," you say as you walk into the kitchen, tossing your bag down on the floor and your phone on the counter.

Taehyung, your best friend since your first week at college, is cooking himself dinner, but offers you a spoon of the tomato sauce he's making. Humming as you taste it, you're amazed by how he manages to make even the simplest thing delicious.

"S'good. What is that? Cumin?"

Nodding, he smiles. "A little paprika, too. You want some?"

His hair is dishevelled, blonde and sunkissed from the sweltering summer skies. He always looks great with a tan; radiant and full of youth.

Shaking your head, you really don't have an appetite. "Think I'm gonna have an early night."

He's about to reply when your phone buzzes. Both of you glance down. Your skin feels red hot, and when Taehyung almost chokes on the spoonful of sauce he's just tried, he's all sorts of confused.

"Why the fuck is Jackson Wang messaging you?"

"Hmm?" You hum as if you have no idea what he's talking about. Realise from the look on his face that he doesn't buy it for a second. "Oh! That Jackson Wang. Think he sent a text to his entire contact list. Something about a party."

"No," Taehyung asserts. "Absolutely not. You cannot bullshit out of this one."

"It's not bullshit," you whine as you pretend to look in the fridge for something to drink. Settle on a beer left by one of Taehyung's friends at a party held last semester. It wasn't quite a Jackson Wang level party, but nothing ever is. "He's just trying to drum up numbers for his stupid party tonight."

Taehyung is many things, but stupid he is not. Though he's blonde (thanks to a bottle of bleach and a few too many jack and cokes), he bends all the stereotypes. His tuition is covered by a scholarship for academic excellence.

"Don't give me that bull."

"It's not bull!"

"So you're telling me, out of everyone at our college, the Jackson Wang is texting you to make up numbers for his party?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, partially a little offended at it being such an unfathomable idea. "And he said you can come too, so maybe you're the one he's really after!"

His expression is flat. You are paper thin.

He's known you long enough to know when you're giving him half-truths.

He also knows you spent the summer alone in this house, and that there's a new toothbrush in the bathroom next to yours.

"You're hooking up with him, aren't you?"

"No!"

Out of everyone to be accused of sleeping with, Jackson Wang is, like, the worst of the worst. He's handsome, sure, but he's also slept with pretty much every girl on campus. Is a teenage boy in a grown adult's body. You'd rather not fornicate with a guy who still finds 'your mum' jokes funny.

Taehyung gasps at your immediate denial. "You are!"

"I'm not!"

"All that talk about saving it for someone special, and you mean to tell me you went and lost it to Jackson fuckin' Wang?!"

Everything about this conversation is making you want to punch yourself in the face. The topic of sex, and just why you've never gotten around to it, has dominated many conversations around this dining table. If you have to discuss it again, you might move out.

"Oh my God," you whine, throwing your head back. "We are not having this conversation."

"Yes, we are."

"No, we're not, because I didn't lose my virginity to Jackson Wang!" You stress. The more you think about it, the more offended you are.

"To Jackson Wang," Taehyung echoes, as he begins to join invisible dots. "But you did lose it to someone."

"No," you insist, but Taehyung refuses to buy it. Knows you too damn well.

He always thought he'd know when you lost it. That it'd be a boy you'd been dating. Committed to. Someone good. Someone worthy. Not someone you keep in the shadows.

"There's something you're not telling me," he frowns. "What the fuck happened this summer?"

With a sigh so deep it's a miracle you're still breathing, you relent. Never signed one of those NDA's you're convinced Jungkook must hand out like candy, as if he's some sort of celebrity and not just some college reprobate.

"Jungkook," you feebly admit. Take a sip on your beer. Don't look at Taheyung, 'cause you're afraid to see his reaction. "Wasn't Jackson. Was Jungkook."

You tell Taehyung everything. How Jungkook never knew you were a virgin. How he still doesn't. How you blame yourself for your hurt, but him for not getting you any band aids to help deal with it; for not kissing you better when he was the one to cause you such hurt in the first place.

As you recite you memories, you play a game against yourself: take a sip every time you want to cry.

By the time you've told Taehyung the nitty-gritty truth, the bottle of wine that had been in the fridge is finished, as well as your beer.

"I can't believe this," Taehyung says for what feels like the billionth time.

There's a certain shame that comes with Taehyung's confusion.

Embarrassment, like the way Jungkook would cringe at himself whenever he stumbled on his words, or the way you'd covered your reddening cheeks with your hands when he teased you for looking at him in the way you did.

Remorse of time wasted before him, and time wasted with him.

Regret of the things you did and the things he didn't.

It's all very confusing. Exhausting. If you were to really think about it, you'd spend a week in bed with a box of tissues. Would ask Taehyung why he didn't warn you that a heart could feel this horrid.

But he did, and you damn well know it.

Shrugging, you reach for the bottle and split the final few glugs between your glasses.

"We were just bored," you play it off. "Had nothing better to do. No one better to do."

But Taehyung shakes his head. "You don't have to do that, yanno. Pretend like it didn't matter. It's okay that it did. Even if he is a prick, and even if he's no better than the rest of them. It's okay that it hurts."

You're silent when he says this.

Despite your teasing, you never really thought Jungkook was much of a player.

But his friends are back now, and you've been relegated to the sidelines. Doesn't matter if he spent weeks—months—playing in no field but yours. Greener pastures have presumably sprouted. Your turf is wrecked from his carelessness, and he's left you to heal yourself while he goes and wrecks another.

Whoever he was pretending to be in the summer isn't who he is now that his friends are back—but when they're laughing and joking in the basement of the Conservatory that evening, Jungkook knows which version of himself he prefers.

"You need to get laid," Jimin tells Jungkook with a laugh. "Never seen a man look so bloody miserable at a party."

Of all the things Jungkook needs, getting laid is not one of them. In fact, he thinks it would be a very sensible idea if he never got laid again. Sex is messy. People get all emotional over it.

Or more so, he gets all emotional over it.

Had never been the type to, before. Always thought it was something that just happened to other people. Not to him.

He pushes the thoughts aside. Feels a little sick. Shrugs off Jimin's remark.

"If I wanted to get laid, I would get laid."

"So why don't you? Will do us all a favour. Claudia's been—"

"I couldn't give a fuck," Jungkook interrupts Jimin. "I'm not interested."

He never has been. Wants nothing to do with this university, and the men that run it, and so would never date one of their daughters.

They're all corrupt. Every last one of them. All cheat on their wives. All throw their families under the bus for their own selfish exploits. His own father's affair has proven this to him.

Jungkook pities his friends. Just because their parents haven't fucked up yet, doesn't mean they won't.

"Oi, Loverboy," Jackson calls from across the room, breaking the tension only to replace it with a headache for Jungkook. "Where's your little girlfriend? I told her to come."

"Who?" Jimin chirps.

Jungkook grates his jaw. Is deadly serious when he says, "Leave it, Jackson."

"Trouble in paradise for our lovebirds, huh?"

"I said leave it."

"Who the fuck is he talking about?" Jimin continues to ask, incredibly curious about this turn of events. Leave town for a couple of months, he thinks, and everything changes.

"No one."

"That one from the diner," Jackson just continues fuckin' talking. Jungkook wants to scream. "The one with a stick up her ass—"

"Jackson, cut it out," Jungkook snaps. "She's no one. Just fuckin' leave it."

"You ashamed, huh, Loverboy?" Jackson berates him a little bit. He isn't trying to be a dick, but he thinks Jungkook is acting like a tool. Jackson is no saint, but at least he doesn't ever pretend to be something he's not. "Poor girl. Wear her like your favourite pair of shoes all summer and then throw her to the trash when your friends come back? I thought better of you. So did she, probably. Shame."

Of all the people Jungkook ever expected to receive lessons in morality from, Jackson Wang was not the one. He parades himself around the Conservatory like Hugh Hefner reincarnated, his class attributed to money and not behaviours.

"The fuck have you been doing this summer, Kook?" Jimin laughs, utterly dumbfounded by his reactions.

They've all had their fair share of less than conventional lovers. If Jungkook has been fucking around with a girl from the Diner, then so what? Who cares?

"Nothing," Jungkook snaps.

It's not that he's ashamed.

It's that you're separate.

When he's with you, all of this—the bullshit of college life and calamity of his family falling apart—dissolves into nothingness. He doesn't have to think. Finds himself at ease.

If you were to ever become a part of his life—his real one, not the one he got so used to living in with you over the summer—then it'd all change.

He doesn't want that.

He wants you to be a safe haven.

A refuge point can't be in the midst of a fire, though. He has to keep you away. At arms length.

But god damn, he wishes you would come and put out his fire. He's struggling. Finds existing without you so fucking hard. Doesn't know at which point he became so dependent, but knows his oxygen is running low.

He's suffocating. Isn't sure how much longer he can keep this up.

"Yeah, sure seems like nothing," Jimin smirks with a shake of his head as Jungkook storms off to get some much needed air. "Oi, Jackson, what was that all about?"

With a shrug, and yet another girl on his arm, Jackson grins. Puts on a pathetic little voice to mimic Jungkook's tantrum. "Fink baby boy has a wittle cwush."

"Girl from the diner?" Jimin implores, still smirking at Jackson's dumb humour. "Which one?"

"You really have to ask?"

For all of his mystery, Jungkook has never been a man of subtleties. His eyes give him away.

They always have done.

When he was looking at the menu board earlier that day? It was obvious.

Before college broke up for summer, and how Jungkook would always cast his eyes down to his hands whenever you, specifically, came to take their order? It was obvious.

How Jungkook would always make sure he was on the side of the booth that gave him ample opportunity to steal glances of you? It was so fucking obvious.

Sometimes he'd laugh at the slightly sarcastic remarks you gave Claudia whenever she would ask irritating questions about the menu.

When they were deciding where to eat, Jungkook would suggest the Montgomery's Diner, always.

So, no, Jimin doesn't really have to ask.

"Stupid prick," he sighs, sipping on his beer. Loves Jungkook to absolute death, but will never understand him. Figures that maybe you do. Worries that Jungkook is about to wreck it all. He calls after Jackson, "She here tonight?"

"Invited her," he calls back. "But she's got an attitude problem to rival his. Fuck knows if she's around. You'll feel her ice before you see her."

Which is funny, because the lingering summer heat sticks to your skin as you nervously meander up a driveway you know all too well.

The Conservatory is decidedly not a conservatory.

It's a complex. A maze of buildings, and greenhouses, and fuck knows what else. You've no interest in gardening, but if excelling at it meant living somewhere like this, maybe you'd consider taking it up as a hobby.

The buildings are mostly redbrick, with large windows, and even larger doors. It's the kind of place you'd imagine a Duke of some far away land prancing about in. Playing croquet, or secretly courting a lowly village girl that his parents will never approve of.

The irony isn't lost on you.

"Wait, how do I look?" Taehyung asks for what feels like the hundredth time. "Not too dressy?"

"You're wearing a waistcoat," you reply, face twisted in affectionate condemnation. He looks great, but he also does look far too dressy. It's his 'look', though, and one that'll get him attention, both good and bad.

If Kim Taehyung walked around with the arrogance his handsome face warranted him with, he'd be the heartthrob of the campus. You think even Claudia would want a slice of him—and given his distaste for the elite yet pining desire to be on their level, it'd be quite the complex pairing.

All of the other men here are in t-shirts, but Taehyung has never been like other men. It's part of the reason you like him so much.

One thing, however, you don't like about Taehyung is his domineering need to 'fix' things. It comes from a place of love, and he only ever does it because he cares, but it's not always in your best interest.

When he told you to go and get changed out of your work uniform, you thought he was planning on taking you to a bar. That you'd be drowning your sorrows over wine you can't afford.

You would never agree to go to the Conservatory. Not now.

Which is why he didn't tell you of his plan.

Instead, he ordered a cab and didn't give you the chance to protest. You were already halfway there by the time you realised.

"Why don't we just go home?" You whine, tugging on his arm as you stand by the gate that leads through the gardens—the same ones you used to traipse around in with Jungkook. "We don't need to be here."

"Uh-uh," he shakes his head, firmly standing his ground. "I've avoided this place for two years, and the second my back is turned it becomes your new home. The least you could do is invite me round for dinner."

"It's not my new home—"

"MONTGOMERY!"

The voice of Jackson Wang yelling across the front lawn makes you want to shrivel up and die. Sink down into the ground. You'd make great compost for the botanists.

"Y'know, you and Loverboy really need to stop lying so much," he says with an incredibly intoxicated grin as he lumbers towards you. You'll never admit it, but part of you is pleased to see him. "First you saying you weren't coming, then him telling everyone nothing happened between you. Both as bad as one another."

Nothing happened between you.

It doesn't surprise you, but it does sting. And it also confuses you. Why on earth would you be a topic of conversation? The people here know you as Montgomery. The girl from the diner. You're nothing but a background character to them.

"What did he say?" You ask, disregarding everything else, not even bothering to introduce Taehyung. He's finding all of this incredibly bewildering.

"Oh, Jimin was grilling him," Jackson waves his hands around, disregarding it. "Kept saying you were no one. Refused to admit that he'd practically tied his laces with yours for the whole summer. Don't you worry, though, Monte Carlo. I had your back. Set the record straight."

Jackson Wang having your back isn't something you ever expected to happen.

Jeon Jungkook's absolute denial of your clandestine affaire de cœur is, disappointingly, something you expected.

It doesn't mean that it comes without hurt. If anything, it's far more visceral, for you only have yourself to blame. These wounds are self-inflicted, even if they're carved with a knife Jungkook crafted out of silly affirmations he never should have made.

"Where is he?" You ask, cold in your tone.

Jackson shrugs. "Try the basement. S'where I last saw him."

As Jackson saunters off to find another poor partygoer to mildly offend, you're left with a bad taste in your mouth. You've been irritated since you saw Jungkook earlier that day.

How he can just show up at the diner and act like he doesn't even know you, let alone knows what it's like to wake up next to you, is beyond insulting.

"C'mon," Taehyung urges you along. "I need a drink, and you could use three."

Conversely, you think you need an entire bottle.

A bottle of what, you don't care. Just something strong. Anything other than the shitty, overpriced whisky Jungkook always insisted on drinking.

"Fine. But we're not going to the basement."

It's perplexing to walk the halls of the Conservatory without Jungkook; to pass by strangers who have no idea who you are, but who know and admire him as if he's some sort of Hollywood celebrity.

They don't know him like you do. Don't know what it feels like to have his hand around their throat, or his fingers gently intertwined with theirs. They've never heard him laugh like you have.

And yet when you're a few drinks deep, and on the verge of calling a cab to go home, you hear that laugh again and wonder how he can bear to be happy right now.

Glancing up, his face is unreadable. The lights are dim, and the shadows obscure the painful furrowing of his brows. He looks just the same as he did back in the diner earlier that day. Perplexed. In pain. Somehow perfectly fine, too.

The group he's in is small. Some of them you know, some of them you don't.

Claudia sits across from him on the lap of some other guy, yet she doesn't take her eyes off Jungkook. She laughs a little harder at his jokes. Directs questions to him. Flirts with other people in front of him to no avail.

Not even now, after summer when her skin is sunkissed and her radiance is rejuvenated, can she keep his attention.

In fact, none of them can once he spots you from across the room. The big lights are off, fairy lights strung up, and a sunset lamp pours a clementine hue over you.

Summer becomes you, he thinks—adores—from afar.

The year is a body, and you're eternally condemned to its heart. That's where he'll keep you. Where you belong.

Had it been spring—the brain of the year—when he'd been hauled up in that diner, he never would have let things get as far as they did.

Had it been winter—the cunt of the year, for lack of a better term—he would have let it get that far, and he wouldn't have felt bad about it, either.

But Autumn is drawing close. The gut. The time to trust his intuition, and he damn well knows it.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, dragging you away from his car crash eyes. Jungkook slips into the dull shadows of the room, right where he belongs. Was foolish of you to ever think otherwise.

"Do you mind?" you snap, but let yourself be dragged away regardless. Part of you hopes it'll make Jungkook do something. You're not sure what. Just something.

The man who is leading you astray is familiar. Recognisable. Park Jimin.

Though he's not aggressive, he definitely isn't gentle as he leads you out to the gardens. Lets go of your wrist by an overgrown shrub just beyond the benches that are made for drunken DMC's. He isn't after one of them. Wants the facts.

"Cut the bullshit," he says.

"No hello?" You chirp. "Nice to see you? Or better yet, an introduction?"

"You know who I am," Jimin tells you, expression flat. You hate that the arrogant fucker is right. "But I know fuck all about you, and apparently you're the reason Jungkook is walking around like death warmed up. So cut the bull. What happened?"

Frankly it's none of Jimin's business. Even if he's done you wrong, Jungkook trusted you. You're not gonna throw that back in his face and air his dirty laundry—especially not considering that Jimin is Jungkook's friend. If Jungkook wanted him to know, he'd have told him.

"Nothing," you tell him. "Barely even know him."

Jimin sighs. Jackson was right. There's a reason why you and Jungkook got along so well. Are both insufferable.

Glancing behind you, Jimin raises his brows.

You turn to face his line of vision, and fail to hide your surprise when you see Jungkook by the back door. Like a deer in headlights, he's frozen in place, his darling bambi eyes so startled he almost looks scared.

"So if you barely know him," Jimin continues as you and Jungkook stare one another out. "Why the fuck is he looking at you like he's seen a ghost?"

It takes a second or so, but you manage to pull your gaze away. Turn back to face Jimin. Shrug. Play dumb.

"Mistaken identity."

"Oh, I get it," Jimin smirks, knowing you aren't gonna give him an easy way out. Needs to bamboozle answers out of you. "You both went to the same bullshitting classes over summer? Is that it?"

You're surprised to find yourself smiling. Surprised that you find humour in Jimin's words. Surprised that you aren't rolling your eyes.

He's always been the Untouchable that has annoyed you the most. Is too loud. Laughs at the most obnoxious things.

"Top of the class," you reply because it somehow feels okay to joke with him. Perhaps spending so much time with Jungkook has lowered you Park Jimin-related intolerance. Not cured it, by any means, but definitely made it easier to manage.

"Academic rivals," Jimin supposes, realising that maybe there's a little more to you than he's ever given you credit for. "That's pretty hot."

"He seemed to think so," you lament, knowing that you're revealing a far more truthful rendition of your time spent with Jungkook. Or at least, admitting that time was spent together.

With a sigh, you walk a little further into the garden. Cross your arms. Look back over your shoulder to the door, only to find Jungkook is gone. It shouldn't upset you like it does, but you find your lips pressing together in a small pout.

"Look," Jimin says, exhaling a breath so deep you're sure his lungs must be empty. He comes to stand beside you, looking across the vast expanse of the gardens. "I'm not asking for your life story. If you don't give a shit about Kook, then that's fine, I'll leave you alone. But he's my best friend, and I've never seen him like this."

Glancing at Jimin, there's a taut discomfort on your face. Guilt, almost—but you've not done anything wrong. It's on him. He's the one who chose for things to be this way.

"I give a shit," you quietly admit as you look back out towards the garden, then sigh out a pitiful laugh. "You know him. You know what he's like. Of course I give a shit."

Quite honestly you think it's impossible to not fall for Jungkook. He's everything you're hardwired to appreciate: hardworking, charming, incredibly funny. You lost count of how many nights dissolved into laughter with him. Had never known your cheeks to hurt so much.

He was gentle, too. Stroked his thumbs against your cheeks just as often as he made them ache.

It's your heart that's aching now, and he's not around to soothe your woes.

Back inside, Jungkook feels so viscerally unwell that he thinks he might be sick. Or maybe he's actually dying. One of the two.

This is everything he didn't want. You were supposed to be separate. Supposed to be a sanctuary away from this all.

You're in the thick of it, now. Jimin is grilling you, and Jungkook doesn't know what to do. It's too much. All of it. The party, the people, the fact that you look at him with ice in your eyes when he knows damn well they used to harbour the warmest of fires.

Beelining for the basement, he kind of hopes the ground will swallow him up. Stop him from making the bad decisions he seems to find so god damn irresistible.

As he yanks open the small fridge at the back of the basement, Jungkook doesn't care what he drinks. Just needs something to help soothe his fragile mine; to make him feel better, 'cause lord knows you won't.

Reaching for a beer, he doesn't ask around to see if it belongs to anyone. Finders keepers. He's an Untouchable. This place is basically his by birthright. No one is gonna argue against him.

But Kim Taehyung isn't just anyone.

"So, when you apologise for being a gargantuan pillock, are you planning on also trying to win her over? Or will you just clean your conscience and wipe yourself clean of her, too?"

Jungkook's jaw tenses as his teeth grit together. "Don't know what you're on about."

"Had a girl in tears at my dinner table earlier tonight," Taehyung exaggerates. Just wants Jungkook to feel as awful as he knows you do. "Your friends might not give a shit about your well-being, but I give a shit about mine."

And for some reason, this irks Jungkook. He gives a shit about you. Cares so much he's been torturing himself by staying away. Thinks it's better for you both.

If it truly was, neither of you would be feeling so gut-wrenchingly awful.

He knows you're angry. You've made that perfectly clear.

But he also knows you do cry when you're frustrated. Was a lesson learned when you were stressed over the diner roof leaking one night during the monsoons when no one else was in to help you fix it.

It was the first night he offered you a lift home. Had taken pity on you. Had also liaised with the college maintenance guy to check it out the next day, even if the diner wasn't technically part of campus.

Because Jungkook does give a shit about your well-being, and he refutes the claim that he doesn't.

"So what? You here to tell me to stay away?" Jungkook scoffs as he prizes off the cap of the bottle. Swigs down a sip. Then another, 'cause he's not wankered enough for this.

"I'm here to tell you that you're an asshole," Taehyung asserts. "She didn't deserve to be used by you for the summer and then tossed to the trash just because semesters starting up again."

The roll of Jungkook's eyes is so weighted that it almost feels as if they'll get lodged in the back of his skull. The last time they'd rolled that deep was in bed with you. Back then it was because his body was so divinely out of sync that his muscles couldn't keep up with his actions. This time, pleasure is the furthest thing away from how he's feeling.

"You want me nowhere near her, but the fact I'm staying away makes me an asshole?" Jungkook petulantly laughs. "Can't ever fuckin' win, can I?"

"This isn't about winning or losing," Taehyung argues back. "She trusted you."

Jungkook doesn't understand what that has to do with anything. He's not betrayed your trust. Has kept all your secrets. Tried his best to keep you secret, too.

"What was she to you, huh? Some project? A virginity to get under your belt? Something to pass the time—"

"I don't know who you think I am," Jungkook snaps, fed up being accused of something he's not. "But not once did I ever treat her badly, okay? I—" He cuts himself off. Doesn't know how to articulate himself. "We— Look, you just don't get it. You don't know me. I was nothing but fuckin' nice. Okay? And she was nice. And it was nice. And we..." He trails off. Realises what Taehyung said. "The fuck do you mean, 'virginity to get under your belt'?"

It's about now that Taehyung realises he's said too much.

But every cloud has a silver lining.

"Talk to her," Taehyung shrugs as he begins to walk away. "Not me."

He leaves a scowling Jungkook by the fridge. Heads to the stairs, and once he reaches the top, is yanked away by a small but mighty force.

"You," Jimin asserts. "With me. Now."

The sound of three knocks on the bathroom door serve as a signal: let me in.

A panicked text from Taehyung had practically begged you to go to the basement bathroom and wait for him there. Said there was drama that he needed to talk with you about.

And you believed him, 'cause you're a few too many drinks deep and honestly could do with the respite.

Perched up on the countertop by the sink, you reach over and unhook the latch, giving Taehyung the all clear to come on in. Your legs languidly swing and your shoulders are slumped, this party well and truly over for you.

The only reason you're still here is because you know Taehyung's secretly been revelling in his first Conservatory party. You fear he'll want to come every weekend, now.

"You better not have your cock out," a playful voice you know all too well jokes, as the door pushes open. Eyes closed as he enters, he shuts the door behind him. Asks, "Am I safe to open my eyes?"

You're gonna kill Taehyung.

In the most loving but brutal way, you will absolutelymurder him for setting you up like this.

"Safe," you grimace.

Jungkook doesn't open his eyes. In fact, he presses them even tighter together. Frowns. "Jimin isn't in here, is he?"

"We've been bamboozled," you sigh, and as much as he doesn't want to, Jungkook smiles at your choice of words. Tips his head down, and open his eyes. Is a little too scared to look your way, for fear of being greeted with wrath.

"Their days are numbered," Jungkook assures you, quickly glancing across to try and work out how you're feeling.

"My sentiments exactly."

Jungkook goes to speak, but you both notice a grating metallic noise by the door. Immediately, Jungkook presses his hand down on the door handle, but there's absolutely no give. It won't budge

"Jimin," he calls, voice strong and domineering through the wooden panels. Hastily painted white, they're chipped and tarnished; covered in numbers and Instagram handles, rumours and declarations of love. It's not your first time locked in this bathroom with Jungkook, but the last was of your own choice. Had been you turning the lock with a smile and glint in your eyes that had promised him trouble. "Open it up."

"No can do," Jimins smugly sings from beyond the door. "Sort your shit out."

Hopping off the counter, you nudge in front of Jungkook to pound against the door with an open fist. Though he steps back, it's still the closest you've been with him since he left your bedroom a couple weeks ago. Part of you laments the fact he moved away from you. Part of him does, too.

"Tae," you try calling instead, hand banging on the door, but you're met with the exact same response.

"Figure it out," he calls back, but also adds, "And if he's still an insufferable asshole in five minutes time, I'll come let you out."

Despite everything, you laugh at this. Not so much because of Taehyung's words, but because Jungkook's face screws up like an old newspaper.

"What is it with him and calling me an asshole?" Jungkook mutters under his breath with a shake of his head.

The bathroom is small—just a toilet and sink built into a cabinet. There's a mirror covering the back wall over it, and another cabinet above it that you assume is filled with empty bottles and misplaced lipglosses. There's barely even enough room to breathe, although there is enough room to make Jeon Jungkook come undone in the least dignified of ways. You should know.

You wish you didn't.

"He calls you one because you are one," you assure him.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" You scoff, hopping back up on the counter, your eyes on his 'cause you want to watch the way he gets nasty. Wanna remind yourself of how horrible he can be. Replace the memories of him in this bathroom, 'cause in all reality, they're actually really lovely. Nice, even. Warm. Everything you're trying to convince yourself he's not. "Gone deaf as well as turned into a massive prick?"

"Jesus Christ," he says, rolling his eyes, turning back to face the door. Shakes at the handle. "Give it a rest."

"Why?" You ask as if butter wouldn't melt on your tongue. "Would it make life easier for you if I just wasn't around?"

Jungkook knows what you're doing. Has bickered with you enough times to understand your tricks. This is how you start; put words in his mouth that he can't defend against.

And so he doesn't try.

"Yep," he declares, turning to face you. "Way easier. Can you tell your friend I'm an asshole, still? Get us out of this place?"

You recline in defiance. Perched up on the counter next to the basin, your back is against a mirror. Legs crossed, you're in the same white summer dress you wore to your first party at the Conservatory.

Nearly everyone had been away for the summer.

You had spent the evening tucked up together on an armchair meant for one, him in the seat, you perched on the armrest, feet in his lap.

"People will talk, y'know," you'd assured him, elbows on your knees, chin in your palms.

"So let them talk," he'd smirked. "What's there to say? We're just sitting?"

It was strange for him to be seen with you. Even Jackson has been confused, but let it slide 'cause another partygoer is another partygoer. He cared for numbers, not names.

"Dunno," you had teased. "Might start talking about the way you look at me."

"Yeah?" He'd husked as his long fingers wrapped around your wrist. Gently pulled you closer.

"Yeah," you'd whispered, the sound of the music keeping your conversation obscure. "How long has it been that you've been looking at me for? A minute, already? Only one more until you fall in love, according to science."

"You tryna make me fall in love with you, Montgomery?"

"No," you'd innocently chirped, then pulled back. "Why? Were you?"

He'd shrugged. Sipped on his beer. "Guess we'll never know."

Looking at him now, you find it hard to believe he's the same person as he was back then.

"Why would I do that?" You feign naivety. "You're not an asshole?"

He doesn't reply. Knows you're going somewhere with this. Leans his back against the wall opposite you and folds his arms as if to say, go on.

"Assholes fuck people over," you state. "You'd never do that. And you'd definitely never spend your summer in some poor girls sheets and then pretend like she doesn't exist in front of your friends—"

"There is it," he confirms. Knew it was coming. Didn't expect you to actually try and speak about things like adults. So fuckin' childish.

"Oh?" You chirp. "So you're well aware of the fact you're an asshole? Good. Glad we have that one sorted out."

"Yep," he confirms, mouth drawing to a thin line.

The fact he isn't engaging in the fight infuriates you. Just proves he doesn't care. That he fucked you over for sport.

"I'm an asshole," he says, voice full of snark. "You know it, I know it. There's no reason why you should want to be around me. No reason why you should waste your time."

"It's so funny," you gasp in fake surprise. "I was thinking the exact same thing! Isn't it so great that you came to this conclusion after you already wasted months of my life?"

He's silent, now. Cowardly.

"Y'know I always knew you were an obnoxious prick," you say, voice now soberly quiet. "But I didn't think you were this cruel, Kook."

"You know that's not—"

"What?" You interrupt, voice growing louder with each question. "Not true? You woke up in my bed one morning, and then never spoke to me again. Who does that? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I don't know!" He shouts, and it surprises you both.

Raking his hand through his hair as he turns away from you, Jungkook wishes he had an answer. Wishes he could explain himself in a way that made sense to you both. Instead, he harshly swallows down his anger. Turns to face you again. Looks like he might cry.

Feels like it, too.

"Why didn't you tell me, huh?" He quietly asks.

"Tell you wha—"

"That you were a virgin."

Your previous thoughts about murdering Taehyung return. Of all the things he could have divulged to Jungkook, and that's what he chose?!

Men, you internally scoff. All fuckin' idiots.

"Hardly relevant, is it?"

"Of course it is," he snaps, turning back to face you. "If I'd have known—"

"You'd have what? Ghosted me sooner? Made it into a fun little competition?"

"I didn't ghost you."

"Gaslighting, too, now are we?" You scoff. "Hold on, let me go and get my bingo card. Things Jungkook does that are absolutely fucking infuriating. Wanna cross it off the list. It's right next to how fast you drive your car, and how much I hate your stupid fucking alarm tone."

"Well good job you never have to hear it again, isn't it?"

"Why not? 'Cause you are ghosting me?"

"No, because this is fuckin' stupid," he says, yanking on the door handle, on the off chance it will finally budge. It doesn't. "You think I'm the devil reincarnated. You don't want me, so why bother with this? This is done. Us. Whatever the fuck it was. You never trusted me in the first place. Would have told me if you did. So just call your friend, tell him I'm an asshole. We're done."

"Oh, well you're two weeks too late for this conversation, don't you think?" you argue back with a cold laugh. "But has it ever occurred to you that my life doesn't revolve around you? That you aren't the reason I'm here? Jackson invited me."

"Ah, so that's what it is?" Jungkook sarcastically exclaims, your insatiable need to fight finally sinking into his skin. "You were just using me, huh? Getting those V-plates off, so you could be ready for him? Is that why you didn't tell me? Huh?"

The mere thought of hooking up with the college's very own Hugh Hefner makes you wanna gag—but if it'll piss off Jungkook, maybe you'll consider it.

"Why would you care if I let him fuck me?" You ask with such pointed anger Jungkook can't help but feel like you're driving knives into his chest. "Do that thing you like with my tongue? You think he'd like my pussy, huh? Maybe I'd let him fuck me raw."

You never let Jungkook go unprotected. Insisted on it each and every time, and he complied even if he was a little pouty about it after you'd been fucking for a while. The trust was there. You were on the pill. He knew he was clean and had told you as such, but it made no difference.

To even suggest you'd let Jackson fuck you raw is laughable.

With a smirk on his lips, Jungkook edges towards you.

Put his hands on your crossed knees. Waits for you to jerk him away—but you don't. Instead, you watch on with salacious confusion. Say nothing. Not even when he uncrosses them, nor when he spreads them apart.

With a hand either side of your head against the mirror, Jungkook stands between your legs.

Looks down at you.

Is so close you can smell his aftershave.

A month ago, in a position like this, you'd have kissed him.

"Hm?" You cock your head. Repeat your question. "You think he'd like my pussy? How long do you think he'd take to cum? Longer than you, I hope."

Jaw tense, Jungkook swallows down the way he wants to curse you out. Closes his eyes. Lets his head dip further, his forehead now resting against the top of your head.

The contact is minimal, but God, you've missed it. Trapped in position by him, you'd forgotten how lovely it was to lose yourself to Jungkook.

"You're not being fair," he whispers. Whines, even.

"Fair?" You laugh, but it's gentle. Matches his tone. "You can hardly take the high ground on fairness, Jungkook."

He nods. Takes a second, and then pathetically begs: "Don't fuck him. Please."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"You know why," he says. Stands straighter, now. Rakes a hand through his hair. Looks down on you with such pained desperation you almost feel bad. He tries to speak, but struggles with his words again. Takes him a few attempts to get anything out. "I didn't like you because I was fucking you. I fucked you because I liked you. You know that. You know it wasn't...Fuck. You know what it was."

The past tense he speaks in cuts you up inside.

Jungkook shrugs in defeat when he's met with silence. Purses his lips. Eyes on yours, they're glassy. Watery, almost.

Yours are just as bad, because what the fuck are you supposed to say to that? He's the one that cut you out. He did this.

"What did I do?" You ask, voice meagre and pathetic. Your vulnerability is mortifying, and yet you just can't help yourself as a tear streaks down your cheek. "What the fuck did I do that was so wrong, Kook?"

The heat of his hand scalds your skin as his thumb wipes away your tears. After his cold shoulder for the past two weeks, your body doesn't know how to respond. Should you be angry? Hurt? Comforted?

All you know is that you're more confused now than you ever were when you first started hooking up with him.

"Nothing," he quietly promises. Holds your cheeks in his hands. Rests his nose beside yours. Is far too close for a man who's been trying to stay away from you. Is beginning to realise that maybe his self-preservation was thinly veiled self-sabotage instead. "I thought I was doing the right thing, but it's been so fuckin' miserable, and then I didn't know how to fix things, and then it was all such a mess and—"

The words Jungkook is yet to speak are lost in the soft press of your lips against his.

Brows furrowed, Jungkook's grip on your face tightens. Keeps you close, 'cause he feels the pressure of your lips waning but doesn't want you to pull away.

And so you don't. Instead you apply more pressure. Harder. Deeper.

It's not like kissing Jungkook is a new experience. You've done it upwards of a thousand times, now. You know his lips and his tongue, and how it likes to flick against yours; his piercings, and the frequency of his moans that vibrate into your mouth.

Kissing Jungkook is just as easy as it is hard. Easy, in the way he takes not a single considered thought. Hard, in how it becomes your only tangible thought for minutes, hours, days afterwards.

An eternity and a millisecond is lost in the kiss, just like the summer that lasted an age and yet was gone with the wind.

When your lips finally part, there's silence. Forehead resting on yours, Jungkook shakes his head ever so gently. Doesn't know how to articulate his thoughts. How to say sorry, or how to fix his mess.

While his logic was flawed, and his execution careless, his intentions had been good. As much as he had a life to go back to, and friends that wouldn't get it, so did you.

He knows they hate him—isn't ignorant to the roll of Maria's eyes every time they walk into Montgomery's, and has experienced Taehyung's disdain first-hand this evening.

He'd spent his summer getting out of the house to avoid the fall-out of his father's infidelity. Knows how much his family is suffering all because of a man who just couldn't control himself. Was trying to be better. Trying not to wreck both of your lives.

As he stands in the dingy bathroom of a party house, the lingering burn of your lips on his still smouldering, he knows that he wrecked you both regardless.

And so it's up to him to put you back together again.

"I'm sorry," you say as you break the kiss, mortified at how stupid of an impulse it had been. You don't that. Not anymore. A month ago, sure, kissing Jungkook in a dingy bathroom at a party house would have been exciting. Now, it just feels embarrassing. "I shouldn't have—"

His lips are on yours again, stealing your words from you. He doesn't want to hear you apologise. Knows that you don't need to. Also knows that he does need to.

"Don't," he quickly says between kisses. "Please, don't say sorry."

"But I—"

"Shut up," he smiles against your lips, shaking his head ever so slightly. He kisses you again, and this time it's soft. Pretty. Poetic, almost in how it makes you feel. And then he speaks, and you're reminded of just how easy it is to adore him, even when you know you shouldn't. "You know how much I've missed this? God, I've missed you so much. Please don't say sorry. I'm sorry. It's on me. I made a mistake, alright? I fucked up."

He pulls back. Has your cheeks in his hands as he makes sure your eyes are on his. They're dark, now, in the dim light of the bathroom you're in, but they've never been warmer.

"I mean it. I'm so fucking sorry," he whispers. Brows furrowed, lips pouty, he's got the kind of face you're hardwired to trust. To adore. Or maybe, it's just him, in general, that you're inclined to feel this way about. "Okay?"

His large hard hands are still holding your cheeks, as yours wrap around his wrists. With a shake of your head, you shrug. Pout, too.

An apology is appreciated, but it's just words. It's his actions that have been upsetting you. Not his words (or lack thereof).

"We're gonna leave this bathroom and you're gonna pretend like I don't exist again," you tell him.

The frown on his face deepens. "That's not true. And that's not what I was trying to do in the first place, either. I just thought—"

"What? That it was a good idea to kiss me on my doorstep and promise you'd pick me up from work, only to never show? To ignore my texts? To—"

"No," he quietly admits, dropping his head between his shoulders. "I made the wrong calls—but I can make it up to you. I want to make it up to you." He rests his forehead against yours. Quietly begs, "Please."

Slowly, Jungkook nudges his nose up against yours. Waits for permission.

Beyond the door, loud music thuds through the room. It obscures the conversation you've been having, keeping you just as secret as you always have been.

It's not like you told any of your friends, either, and when it came to telling Taehyung, you weren't exactly forthcoming. Perhaps you would have been the one to pretend like he didn't exist, had he not done it first.

"I want you," he husks against your lips.

"You wanna fuck me," you correct him, lips tantalisingly brushing his with every word.

"True," he admits. "But I also wanna send you dumb memes again, and go for drives after work, and wake up in your bed. I wanna go for breakfast, and I still need to cook you my world-famous makguksu. I want to have not been a dick for the past two weeks, but I can't change that. I just wanna be what I once was to you again."

"And what was that?" You encourage.

There was never any label. Realistically, there's no right answer.

Or at least there isn't, until Jungkook just simply says, "Yours."

And what else can you do when confronted by such a pathetic, yearnful admittance from him, except to give into how you're feeling, too?

Frantic in the way your hands are on his body—his arms, his waist, around his throat—there's a neediness to you. One he's missed. One he reciprocates, as his large palms stroke up your spread thighs, then get your legs wrapped around his hips.

The movements of your bodies are so well nurtured by now that you know what comes next; how the bulge in his trousers will press against your covered pussy, and how you'll whine at the contact no matter how minimal.

"Fuck," you whine as his hands slip under the skirt of your dress. It's an old routine at this point. He knows exactly where to go, what to do. His fingers press against the wet fabric of your underwear, just gently enough to make you moan a little harder into his mouth.

"Oh?" He smirks when he realises just how needy you are, his fingers stroking against your slick panties. "Missed me, too?"

"You're an asshole," you tell him with a smile. As his fingers get firmer, you can't help but whine. "You know I have."

He pulls back to look down at your body. Pushes the fabric of your dress out of the way. Curses when he realises the underwear you're wearing. Is his favourite pair. Red and lacy, there's a suspender belt to match it. While you're not wearing it right now, he's got pictures of you in it that belong in a fuckin' museum.

"Did you wanna fuck me tonight, huh?" He mumbles into your lips.

"Not everything is about you," you say with a smile, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Except it is. They're your favourite pair too, simply for how insanely he reacted to seeing you in them. Sure you're not in the full set up, but it was enough to have you feeling ever so confident as you left the house with Taehyung.

As his lips press against yours, his finger hooks beneath your underwear. Tugs them to the side. Gets you exposed for him.

"No?" He husks, as his fingers begin to sink between your soaked folds. "So this isn't about me, huh?"

You shake your head. Lie. "Never been less turned on."

He plays into your little theatrics. Has always enjoyed them.

"So you don't want me to do this?" He asks as his middle finger sinks into your entrance.

"Can't even feel it," you pretend, as if his thick knuckles aren't stroking against you in just the right way.

"No?" He grits. Sinks a second finger inside you. Gets you whining again, nails gripping onto his arms. His fingers slowly pump into you, easing you into the way it feels for him to be inside you.

There's something electric about Jungkook. Sends shivers through your spine. Always knew exactly how to manipulate your pussy into doing whatever he wanted, and now is no different. As you clench around him, he's overcome with satisfaction.

"This is just my fingers," he reminds you. "I don't think you can handle my cock."

Scoffing, you're desperately trying to pretend you aren't melting for him. "Please, I can handle it just fine."

"Sure you can, baby," he teases with so much arrogance you kinda wanna fight him again—but it's also why you like him. He challenges you. Gets your brain in overdrive.

And when he crouches in front of the counter, eyes aligned with your exposed cunt, you think you might actually lose it entirely.

His hands are on your thighs, spreading you further, getting a good look at the mess between your legs. When he sighs, the shallow breath that escapes his lips feels like absolute sin against your wetness.

"Oh, you really haven't been fucked since me, have you?" He teases again. "Look at how fucking keen you are. Been missing my cock, huh?"

"My vibrator's been doing the job just fine," you assure him, but it has him pulling back to cock a brow in your direction. He knows many things about you that other people don't, but he was not aware you owned any sex toys. Finds that his cock only throbs even harder in his pants at this revelation.

"Maybe so," he husks, leaning closer just so he drags his flat tongue up your folds. Has to stop himself from moaning, 'cause the taste of you is somehow even better than his memories. "But it's not better than me."

With a point to prove, and a desperation to reclaim you as his own, Jungkook doesn't entertain chitchat any longer. He dives back in, tongue lapping against your lips as his fingers push back inside you. The way he curls them just right as his tongue flicks against your clit is enough to make anyone lose their head.

Hands tangling in his hair, you find your body responding to him in the way it always does; pathetically, needily, hungrily. There's no dignity to be found.

His tongue works against you like a well trained craft, until his lips latch around your swollen bud and begin to lightly suck on it. When he hums in satisfaction—which he does often—the suction only grows stronger.

Gets you whimpering, "Like that. Fuck. Like that."

The build is just as undignified as you are. Your grip on his hair gets tighter, and the shake of your legs grows stronger. Dragging his tongue up and down your folds, he settles back on your clit. Flicks his pointed tongue against you until he knows you can't take it any longer and begins to suck again. Curves his fingers just right. Strokes you so gently that orgasm pours out of you like liquid gold. Guilds him into the most gorgeous aureate glow.

He doesn't ease. Keeps his lips wrapped around your clit. Makes sure you're spent.

When he finally releases you, he's breathing just as heavily as you are. Gets to his feet, fingers still plugged in your tight pussy. Is pleased to find you're just as insatiable as he is, pulling him in for the messiest of kisses as soon as you can. There's no care given for the fact he's covered in your arousal. You just want that tongue of his in your mouth—and when it is, you find yourself moaning from the withdrawal of his fingers.

Your hands reach to the waistband of his jeans to unhook his button. Get his zipper down. Your hands down the front of his trousers, when his thick cock is restricted by his tight boxer briefs. By the tip of his cock, a small wet patch resides; his desperation for you obvious. Gently rubbing your thumb across the pre-cum, all you can think about is his slit, and how you wanna kitten lick across it.

But it's been two weeks of near-constant pining, and all Jungkook wants is to bury himself inside you.

"Let me fuck you," he begs. "Please, baby."

If the girl who had first seen Jungkook in a shared lecture hall two years ago would have known she'd end up in a shitty bathroom with him begging for her, she'd have laughed. Wouldn't have believed it for a second.

Fresh-faced and so out of your comfort zone, the first few days at university were full of potential. It was before you had wised up to your place in the pecking order; when Jungkook was just a boy in your orientation class.

Skin kissed by European sun, there had been a radiance to him that seemed to captivate just about everyone. You weren't the only girl who had been sneaking glances his way.

You'd thought about him a lot in those first few weeks. Came to learn of his family ties around the same time you befriended Taehyung. Stopped seeing him around campus so much, and rarely ever thought of him.

But on those rare occasions you crossed paths, your gaze would always linger.

As he frees himself of his boxers, trousers suspended midway down his thighs, he gently rubs the tip of his cock between your folds and husks, "Always thought you were so pretty, y'know?"

Looking up at you for just a second, he smirks. Looks back down. Continues to rub himself against you, prepping himself with your slickness.

"Freshers week," he continues. "You never came to any of the parties."

The tip of his cock kisses your entrance, but doesn't penetrate. You stay in limbo just shy of what you both want.

"Had a stupid fuckin' crush on you," he admits. Has never acknowledged it before, but has always known. Kept it hidden. Safe. Secret.

"No, you didn't," you smile. He didn't even give you a second glance. Was always you seeking him out in lecture halls.

"I did," he says with absolute certainty. "You wore that little black sundress on our first day. Had ruffles on the shoulders."

It hangs in your wardrobe, a little out of style but still sweet in the right setting. You know the exact one he's talking about, because he's right. You did wear it on that very first day.

His cock nudges a little deeper. Enough to make you gasp, but not moan. Not yet. Gripping his arms, brows furrowed, you nod. He sinks himself just a little bit further. The feeling is overwhelming; fire on ice.

"Would have fucked you in that lecture hall, if you'd have let me," he smirks.

"You didn't even know my name," you counter, but he cuts your questioning off as he edges a little deeper, still. His hand dips to gently rub languid circles on your clit. He's not pushing himself any further, not yet. Wants to ease into how this feels.

"I did," he admits. "Listened extra hard during the roll call."

"So this has all been some big elaborate scheme to get into my pants, huh?"

"Is it working?" he jokes, leaning over to yank the cabinet above the sink open. A few random bottles and packets clatter into the sink, but he doesn't care.

He's looking on the top shelf, rifling through old boxes, sending more miscellaneous objects to their untimely demise. Spotting what he's after, he's assertive as he knocks the cabinet shut. Passes you the box.

"S'all there is. They alright?"

"Sure," you say, pulling one of the foil packets from the box. You check the date stamped on the front—only to see it's a year out of date. Some protection would be better than none, regardless of the date, but fuck it. You're on the pill. "You haven't fucked anyone else? In the last couple weeks?"

"What?" His brows contort in confusion. "No."

His expression softens, but is still laced with confusion when you toss the box of condoms down into the sink.

"I don't care. I don't want them—"

You're cut off by the way Jungkook clasps your jaw, keeping your eyes locked on his. There's a seriousness to him now; the same demeanour he holds himself with when he was taking photographs. He's intentional. Assertive.

"Promise me," he says with stern certainty. "You want this?"

When he's got you like this—legs spread, body his to claim, your soul to take—it's impossible to do anything but comply. See, things with Jungkook are reciprocal. Your feelings, your tortured misunderstanding of how a relationship could ever work, and his seriousness, now, too.

"I promise," you swear.

As a chaste kiss is pressed to your lips, his hands stroke down your spread thighs, pushing you a little further open for him.

"Can't unfuck me," he softly reminds you. Is taking his time not for the anticipation, but because he's scared. "If you fuck me raw—"

"Then I fuck you raw," you simply repeat, knowing that it's up to you to ease his woes. If anyone should be scared, it's you—yet there's a safety that comes with being with Jungkook. Smirk, then say, "Trust me. I know I can't unfuck you. I've been trying to forget—"

"Ouch," he laughs, nudging his nose up against yours.

"—but you're just..." you tailed off, not wanting to compliment him too highly. He's still in the dog house. "Memorable."

With a sardonic smile that he knows only means trouble, you reach down to grip his incredibly pert ass cheeks. Squeezing, just because you can, you encourage him to push even deeper into you—and he's the one who whines, now.

"God, you're so fuckin' tight," he praises with such pained desperation it almost sounds like he'll cry. He won't. It's just that he can't quite believe that he's raw inside you right now, and that you feel just as good as he always imagined. Better, even.

"Yeah?" You question, as you pull his hips closer, gasping as he finally sinks his full length into you once more. His fingers were thick, but they've got nothing on his cock. Like he's taken all the air from your lungs, your voice is all light and airy. Makes Jungkook even more insane.

"Yeah," he mumbles as he nods into a kiss that is just as feverant as his need to pulse his hips. He doesn't dare do it yet. Is waiting for you. "Feels so fuckin' good."

"So just fuck me," you hungrily moan into his lips.

You're challenging him deliberately, and it works a fucking treat when he pulls back with a grin. He doesn't withdraw himself, but he does pulse his hips ever so slightly. Keeps you plugged. Is just nudging even deeper into you as he keeps a hold on your thighs, keeping them spread nice and wide.

"Say please," he grunts as his pulsing becomes a singular deep thrust.

Your argumentative streak wants to fight.

You'll berate yourself later for the way you whimper, "Please."

His thick cock withdraws just a little to push back into you. He groans. Curses. Builds momentum. Speed.

The sound of his skin slapping against yours as he pounds himself into you is impossible to ignore. Your moans build. Double. Treble. He's grunting too, and then his lips are on your neck. It's a mess, quite frankly.

In the sordid shadows of this bathroom, your bodies become acquainted with an intimacy not yet bridged before. You can pretend to ignore each other in the hallways of your shared lecture buildings, but you'll never be able to ignore the desperation you have for one another. Jungkook was right. You can't unfuck him. And now he's fucking you raw, it only make it even more potent.

Harshly pulling himself out of you, Jungkook almost fuckin' cums on the spot when he realises how soaked he is from your arousal. It's not like it's a new thing, but skin on skin, it's so much more intense. Gasping from the sudden loss of pressure, you're a little unsteady. Lurch forward as if your body could stop him from withdrawing.

Holding the base of his thick shaft, Jungkook spanks against your pussy with his cock. Rubs your slick wetness around with his tip. Hooks his elbows under your thighs. Pulls you closer. Instructs, "Arms around my neck."

Wrapping an arm around your back, the other one tucks under your ass as he lifts you.

He turns. Presses your back to the wall, and lines himself up.

"Legs around me," he tells you, and as soon as you do, his cock pushes up into you again. He keeps you pinned against the wall as he begins to fuck himself into you, his lips pressing wet kisses to the curve of your neck.

The sight in the mirror behind him is lethal; his broad back covered by his shirt, but it doesn't matter. You know what he looks like. Know his muscles, and the valley of his spine, like the back of your own damn hand.

You wanna see it though. Give it a tug. Send him the right message. Get him tearing his shirt off and dropping it to the floor for you. Victory is so damn sweet.

"Kook," you whine as he really begins to get deep. "You're gonna make me cum."

"All over my cock, huh?" He grunts. "Gonna cum on cock, are you?"

His taunting only makes you whimper even more. "I'm so close."

And because he just likes to get you all whiney and needy, Jungkook stops. Puts you down. Gets you facing the mirror as you protest his unfair stealing of an orgasm.

But then he's lining himself up again, getting ready to take you from behind. Spanks your ass ever so quickly.

Sinking into you again, Jungkook curses. "Tighter like this."

"Good?" You pathetically check, and Jungkook can't help but think it's sweet.

"Yeah, babe," he promises, and pretends as if it's completely usual for him to speak to you so tenderly. "Feels so fuckin' good. Missed you so much, gorgeous. You and this tight cunt."

"Romance," you joke through your needy whines. He smirks at this, and delivers a curt little spank to your ass.

"I can be romantic," he assures you, as if you aren't being soundtracked by the sound of your skin slapping together, his thick cock fucking itself into your soaked hole.

His eyes rise from the steady gaze he'd had on your ass to your eyes.

Slowing himself, Jungkook holds his cock inside you without thrusting. Says, "I made that photo you took of us in your room my fuckin' phone wallpaper. I listen to that asmr guy you like before bed, every single fuckin' night. I keep one of your ribbons tied around my gearstick. That romantic enough for you?"

There's an incredibly bashful smile on your pretty face, which contradicts the way in which your pussy is tightening around him in the most lewd of ways. You're giggling when you say, "Shut up and fuck me."

But then he's giggling too, just how you like him to be. Says, "I missed your body, but I missed you more. Stupid."

"You're stupid."

"You're stupider."

"Kook," you laugh, as he's completely forgotten the task at hand. The way that he looks at you, you'd be forgiven for thinking he has. Truthfully, the connection he has with you is so much more than what sex has ever been for him before.

His hips lightly pulse, as he says, "Sorry. Where were we?"

"Think you were gonna make me cum."

"Ah, yeah. That. My bad."

His gentle thrusts begin to build pace once more. The grin on his face drops a little as he begins to concentrate on you. Watching him in the mirror, you're perplexed to be reminded of just how ethereal Jungkook looks when he fucks.

The deep ridge between his brows intensifies, as his mouth hands slack. His cheeks hollow a little, and his eyes remain entirely focused. Dark. Deep. Brooding.

As his hand dips around to gently stroke against your clit, Jungkook is just as taken away by the way you look. He isn't sure what it is that gets his heart so heavy in his chest, but he knows that he wants you to cum. Doesn't give a fuck about himself.

The walls of your cunt begin to tighten around his length as your moans deepen. You whine his name and he encourages a response, but neither of you can really talk. A numbness is washing over you, your balance unsteady.

"I'm gonna..." you begin, but find it impossible to finish.

"I know, baby," he nods all out of breath and desperately fucked out. "Give me what I want. Cum for me."

You trust and keep your eyes on him, but the nudging on his cock against your g-spot and the slow rubbing of your clit is just enough to tip you over.

"Kook," you whimper as your walls begin to tighten around him, but it's fruitless. There's a shake to your legs, and he's the only thing keeping you supported.

"Oh, fuck," he curses from the strength of your pussy around him. He's shaking just as much as you are. "Cream on this cock, baby. Oh, fuck. Yeah.Just like that. You're gonna make me cum, too. Gonna make me cum so fuckin' hard. All in your pussy. You want that, huh?"

It's as you're desperately whining, cumming all around his thick shaft that Jungkook feels his body lose control. There's a tightness to his balls, and a shudder to his sternum, that he hasn't felt since the last time he was in your bedroom. Last time he was in you, more specifically.

"Kook," you whimper his name, and that's when Jungkook really can't hold back.

"Yeah, babe," he rasps, as his hard thrusts become pathetic stutters. "I'm cumming."

The announcement isn't needed, for you swear you can almost feel it as his thick cum begins to fill you. The lack of a condom makes it all the more primal, the way his body shudders indicative of just how much cum he's filling you up with.

His body collapses on yours a little, his clammy torso pressed to your back. The dress you're wearing is barely on properly, and the feeling of his skin against yours is catastrophic. As intimate as sex is, it's this right now, the beat of his heart thrumming against your spine that is the real disaster. How you can ever look him in the eye again is beyond you.

But then his lips are pressing chaste kisses to the curve of your neck, and his hands are squeezing at your hips. He doesn't pull out. Keeps himself warm inside you. Says, "How the fuck am I ever supposed to give you up, huh?"

That's the thing.

He isn't supposed to, and you damn well know it.

Reaching back for some tissue to help you out, Jungkook slowly withdraws. Holds his hand beneath your pussy, then replaces it with tissue. Turns you around and lets you take over.

"Here's a radical idea," you offer, not looking at him as you quickly make sure you're decent. Stay standing with your legs crossed, just in case. "Don't."

Pulling his shirt back over his head, Jungkook presses his back to the wall. There's a distance between you, yes, but you don't really feel it, 'cause it's purely physical.

And it's not like it lasts for very long either, 'cause Jungkook decides he needs to kiss you all over again.

"Alright," he whispers against your lips. "Say we don't. Say I wanna be yours. What the fuck do we do now?"

You shrug. The answers aren't yours to decide. It's up to you both.

"Well, firstly I'm gonna text Tae," you hum. "Tell him you're still an asshole and that I need to be let out immediately."

It's been half an hour.

He came to check on things about ten minutes ago.

The music might be loud, but not loud enough to drown out the way you guys fuck.

Summer had been quiet. In his car, in your empty house, you've never had to keep it down before. Didn't even realise quite how loud you were being.

Which is why Jimin is the one who unlocks the outside bolt with a smirk a few minutes later, Taehyung watching on with a little disgusted grimace a metre or so back.

"Gross," he whisper shouts at you, but then he's smiling, too. Notices how Jungkook touches you—the hand he has on the small of your back, and the way he clasps your hand as you begin to walk ahead of him—and finds it impossible to be mad.

"C'mon," Jimin calls behind himself, leading you up and out of the basement. "We're going to the diner."

"We?" You question, incredibly confused.

"We." He simply says. Doesn't leave it up for debate. Gathers up the rest of the Untouchables (though Claudia is noticeably absent), and tells them the same thing he told you. Drags Taehyung along as well.

Jungkook was scared of integrating you into his life, but there's no other way to do it. Has to rip the band aid off.

As you walk into Montgomery's, hand in hand with the boy who had spent his summer wasting away with you in here, both of you realise that maybe it isn't such a huge deal.

Or at least, you do until Maria clocks you. Eyes darting from you, to Jungkook, and then to your gently clasped hands, she's in a state of absolute shock. Almost drops her tray.

"Sorry, what the fuck?!"

#byholly #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook ff #jk ff #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #bangtan fic #jungkook fluff #college!jungkook #non idol au #bts fanfic #bangtan ff #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #college au

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cutehoons02 · 2 months ago

Text

The ghost of your heart

Heeseung pt

*pairing: pervy ghost Jake x popular Cheerleader

*trope: Enemies to lovers/He fell first,but she fell harder

*synopsis: Ghosts don't exist, right? Y/n is the captain of the cheerleaders and it's exactly the stereotype of the classic blonde girl with everyone at her feet. Still, there is something dark about her, can see the lost souls, as well as ghosts, and Jake, is a soul standing in limbo between being dead to be human again but the world of the dead has given him a mission, if he wants to be reborn as a human, he must make Y/n more tender and loving with people than she was with her deceased grandmother; but what would happen when he is the one who falls in love with her?

*tags: Lots of humor, Jake loves to scare but at the same time flirt with the protagonist, the protagonist is perverted as is Jake, bratty girl,smut, a lot of kisses, unprotected sex, semi-public sex (shower sex) normal sex-anal sex, fingering (f. receives it) masturbation, pet names (princess, baby, darling, beauty) (jakey, ghost boy, golden retriever) dark and gloomy scenarios, this story is written for an audience over 18 years.

11.6k (🌫️)

(English is not my native language)

In the heart of a small village, surrounded by dense forests and an everlasting grey sky, stood the best university in the country. A place that seemed normal, but which hid disturbing secrets. The students said that the campus was built on an ancient cemetery, and it was true that under the imposing gothic structure of the university, there was a cemetery now forgotten by almost all humans and that sometimes, between the deserted corridors or in the woods around, There were whispers, cries or noises as loud as possible. But Y/n, the cheerleader queen, didn’t believe in that nonsense.

She was too busy being perfect: a dazzling smile, an imposing presence, and that brazen boldness that made everyone crazy, including professors. Her only weakness? The grandmother was the only person who had taught her to love something beyond herself. But since she died, life for Y/n was just a game of appearances.

She wanted to become the best and most famous cheerleader in the country, so she decided to move to the USA to work and dance for a team of professional cheerleaders!

In the world of the dead, a young spirit watched everything with bright eyes. Jake was unlike other ghosts: half human and half ghost, living between two worlds, and his mission would decide it forever. If he had completed the task assigned, he would have had a second chance to live as a mortal and experience all those emotions again that he had long lacked.

But the mission was far from easy.

"You must change the heart of Y/n," said the Overseer, a disturbing figure with empty eyes and cavernous voice. " It’s not just about scaring her. You have to teach her to love, and to see beyond herself. But be careful... If you fail, you will remain forever in Limbo."

Jake, with his golden retriever smile and a worrying inclination to be a little pervert, was not the best fit for the job.

But he was also stubborn. And then, he loved challenges and Y/n could be a beautiful challenge.

It was midnight when you found yourself on the empty stairs of the university library. You wondered why the campus was so quiet when a cold wind made your skin crawl.

"Strange," you mumbled, clenching your jacket.

Then you saw him, another of those stupid ghosts or ghosts that you could see, you couldn’t stand it, you wanted to see your grandmother already dead for a year but instead, you always had encounters with dead ghosts hundreds of years ago.

A tall boy with sparkling eyes and a smile that was a mix of charm and danger. Jake. Just didn’t seem... alive. The shadow that enveloped him was too thick, and the air around him vibrated with energy.

"Who are you?" you asked, trying to seem indifferent, even if your heart was pounding in your chest.

Jake came a few steps closer, creaking the floor beneath him. 'Shame. A girl like you shouldn’t be in such a place at this hour. Do you know that bad things happen here?'

"Don’t make me laugh. Are you just another loser trying to scare me?" You stared right into his eyes, oblivious to the strange energy emanating from him.

Jake laughed softly, a sound echoing in the empty walls of the library. 'Oh, baby. You don’t know how lame I can be.'

Then, with a gesture of his hand, he turned off all the lights in the corridor. Darkness enveloped you, and for the first time, you felt your blood freezing.

Jake approached slowly, his boots echoing in the library’s silence, he stood motionless, arms crossed over the chest, head slightly tilted to one side, his usual little challenge smirk on his lips.

'What is it, beauty? Are you scared?' he asked, his voice deep and a little hoarse. His eyes were peering at you as if they could see directly into your soul.

"Scared? Of you?" you laughed. "Don’t make me laugh. You’re just a... dead boy."

The last words were spoken with insolent lightness, and Jake stopped, narrowing his eyes. You liked to tease.

'A dead boy, you say?' he repeated, the voice that went dangerously low, like a whisper creeping in his mind. With a lightning motion, Jake was in front of you, so close that you held your breath. A strange scent enveloped you, something fresh and unsettling, like the earth after the rain.

'Are you always so sure of yourself?' he asked, lowering his face to a few centimeters from yours. His intense gaze nailed you to the spot, and for the first time, your jaw clenched.

But you were not the type to be intimidated. Not by him, at least you barely moved, letting a smug smile form on your lips. "It’s a shame, you know?"

Jake raised an eyebrow. 'What would be a sin?'

"Whether such a handsome boy is... dead or half dead," you said, stepping on the last word and carefully studying his reaction.

Jake froze. A moment of silence that seemed to hang between them, and then he laughed, a low, dark sound that made you shiver. He ran his hand through his black, messy hair, letting it fall back on his forehead.

'Nice little bit of a tease. Is that how you think to get rid of me? With a compliment? I’m not dead yet, darling, but not so desperate.'

He watched you for a long moment, letting his gaze run through your body, slow, almost brazen. You felt exposed, and vulnerable, but you didn’t want him to see the uncertainty in your eyes.

'Although... I must admit that here, in the world of the living, there is something I miss,' he added, bowing his head and looking at you like a predator.

"Ah yes? What would it be?" you asked, crossing your arms to hide the sudden restlessness.

'The girls,' he replied, with a smile that was a mixture of tenderness and malice. 'They are so alive. So... warm. I miss having a girl in my arms, I miss being touched but the thing that I miss most is sex. It’s hard to ignore, especially when you’re stuck in the world of the dead. You know what I mean? '

You felt the redness on your cheeks, but you tried to keep up your usual sarcastic tone. "Well, I feel sorry for you. You seem to have a rather serious problem. Here at the university, there are many girls, surely there will be some who will be extremely desperate for cocks that would get fucked even by a ghost"

Jake laughed again, but this time there was a darker note in his voice. He stepped back, letting his figure be swallowed by an unnatural shadow. 'Oh, don’t worry about me. I’ll find a way to have fun and maybe one who will be desperate to have my dick inside you will own you!"

Before you could answer him in tone because you were seriously angry with him, you felt something touch your neck, like a cold wind. You sprinted backwards, turning around but there was no one there. When you looked back in front of you, Jake had disappeared.

But his voice, low and bewitching, whispered in the silence. 'See you soon, princess.'

You stood still and for the first time, you didn’t know if you were excited or terrified. Maybe both.

Jake spent most of his time watching you from afar, hiding in the shadows. You were a queen in your realm of appearances. He saw you laughing at your best friends' jokes, playing with the boys, and beating the hell out of the cheerleading field. Even the frost seemed unmoved: you kept trying your moves with a ruthless determination, every movement a silent cry that said look at me.

But Jake knew: that security was a mask. Yet, even knowing it, he could not take his eyes off you. There was something about you, a fire that bothered him and attracted him at the same time.

'What a waste,' Jake mumbled one evening, watching you return to the college dorm with the usual provocative smile on your face.

One week later, Jake decided to take a break. A ghost needed to breathe, and the cemetery under the university was his refuge. The stones were covered in mist, and the only sound was that of the wind whispering through the branches of bare trees.

Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon were sitting on the tombstones, legs crossed and bored expressions on their faces. They were also half dead, like Jake, but with a much darker, more perverse, and cynical temperament.

<< Are you still wasting time with that girl?>> asked Sunghoon, raising an eyebrow.

Jake gave him a sharp look. 'It’s not a waste of time. It’s my mission.'

Sunghoon laughed softly, shaking his head. "She doesn’t seem like the type to change easily. She thinks she’s a goddess," said Heeseung

"It’s different than it looks," Jake muttered, almost to himself.

"Different, eh? Sure, keep telling you," Hee replied sarcastically.

Jake was about to fight back when something caught his attention. A figure was walking through the cemetery, wrapped in a soft sweater and simple jeans. She walked with a slow and uncertain pace, holding her arms close to her chest as if to protect himself from the cold.

Y/n.

For a moment, Jake stood motionless, incredulous. He was used to seeing her in makeup, impeccable, and in clothes that enhanced every detail of her body. But now... she was different. Simple, human and there was a strange fragility in her that she had never noticed before.

She stood before an old tombstone, kneeling. She took out a small bouquet from the coat and carefully placed it in front of the tomb. Jake approached, remaining in the shadows, trying to see better.

The name of the grandmother of Y/n.

Y/n was on his knees, hands folded, while he whispered a prayer. His voice was so low that Jake could not understand the words, but there was something in the tone that struck him: a deep, sincere pain.

Jay leaned slightly, intrigued. -Is that the girl you’re trying to change? She doesn’t look like her either. -

Jake didn’t answer. He was too focused on Y/n, for the first time, the mask he wore every day wasn’t there. There was no false smile, no queen pose. There was only one girl who, however much she tried to hide it, suffered.

He remembered what the Overseer had told him: the only person Y/n had ever loved was his grandmother, but that wasn’t enough.

Loving a memory was not enough for the world of the dead. Y/n She had to learn to live, to love someone in the present, someone who was there with her, who taught her that life was more than a race for perfection.

<<Interesting,>> Sunghoon muttered, breaking the silence. <<Perhaps there is hope for her after all. But not for you>>

Jake ignored him, his eyes still fixed on the cheerleader. He felt a strange sting in his chest; it was not compassion, nor mere curiosity something deeper, something he did not want to admit.

Y/n slowly stood up, arranged the flowers, and whispered a final greeting. Jake remained hidden in the shadows, watching her leave.

When he was sure he couldn’t hear it, he whispered: 'Perhaps there is more in you than you want to make believe, princess. But it won’t be so easy for you to hide it from me.'

Then he turned to Sunghoon, a mischievous grin masking his anxiety. 'How about a bet? I want to see how long it takes for him to collapse.'

Sunghoon laughed. << You don’t bet to win. You just want to have fun.

Jake ran his hand through his hair, the smile spreading. 'Correct. Why should I not? If I fail, I will remain forever in this form but if I win and make love I can have my life back as a human.'

You were clinging to your sweater, shivering at the frost that seemed to wrap all the wood under the cemetery. The fog was so thick that you could barely see your steps, the world around you reduced to a set of shadows and muffled sounds. You could hear the branches breaking under your shoes, and now and then the wind would whisper the leaves over you.

For the first time in a long time, you felt... small. There was no party music, no glittering lights, or the admiring eyes of the people around you. You were alone, immersed in the wild nature, in the heart of a forest that seemed to almost breathe around you.

Your fists clenched. You weren’t the type to be intimidated, not even by nature. You would never let anyone even anything-make you feel vulnerable.

After a few steps, however, something changed. The fog began to dissipate, and a figure was seen in the middle of the dirt road leading to the university. You stopped suddenly, your heart popped in your throat.

There was someone.

The figure was tall, with broad shoulders and a dark aura that seemed to absorb the little moonlight that filtered through the trees. When you took a step forward, you recognized him immediately. Jake.

He wore the same mischievous smile that he had seen that night in the library, but this time there was something more. Something more dangerous. His eyes were shining, as if he knew something he didn’t.

'Are you coming home, princess?' the voice rang in the air like a creepy whisper.

You raised your chin, trying to keep control. You couldn’t afford to look weak. "Are you following me? You have nothing better to do in your... world of the dead?"

Jake chuckled. 'It’s not me who roams the woods in the pre-shadow. You’re the one who decided to take a solitary walk in such a place. By chance were you looking for me?'

You got over it, ignoring the shiver that ran down your back. "Not everything is about you, ghost boy."

Jake did not move as you passed by him, but his gaze followed your every movement. The jeans you wore hugged your legs perfectly, and the soft sweater made you look even more human, even more vulnerable. Jake slowly licked his lip, an almost instinctive gesture.

'I never said that everything revolves around me,' he said, his voice low and caressing. 'But admit it, princess... a little attention does not mind, right? '

You stopped to watch it. "What do you want from me, Jake? Why don’t you go and torment someone else?"

Jake came a few steps closer, the shadow of the mist that seemed to follow him like a cloak. 'Cause you’re different. You don’t scare easily. Don’t pretend to be someone else, at least not in front of me. And... you’re funny when you try to be tough.'

Shook your head, a forced smile on your lips. "You’re pathetic, you know that? I can’t believe you got a second chance to live and you’re wasting it, stalking me."

Jake stopped right in front of you, so close that you had to look up to look him in the eye. 'I’m not wasting anything,' he said, the tone fading, becoming darker. 'I’m just... studying my prey.'

"Prey? I warn you I could become extremely bad, I’m not afraid of a perverted fan" you answered, with a grin of defiance.

Jake laughed slowly, leaning slightly towards you. 'I don’t know how much I’d like to be perverted with you, Y/n.'

His words were a whisper, but the way he spoke them that note of desire and mischief made you blush, why were you blushing at a ghost? Were you so sick and desperate at the same time?

"If you’re done playing, I have more important things to do," you said, trying to seem disinterested.

Jake watched you go away, his smile widening. But he wasn’t done. Not yet.

'See, princess,' he murmured, more to himself than to you, 'it’s not just a mission. It’s a damn game... and I can’t wait to win.'

And with one last look at your figure disappearing into the fog, Jake dissolved back to the cemetery.

The gym was filled with cheers and applause as the university cheerleaders performed for the annual competition. You were perfect as ever: every jump, every movement, every smile was executed with impeccable precision. You were the star of the team, and you knew it.

But when the time came for the big final jump, something went wrong. The girl next to you, an insecure freshman who desperately tried to keep up, mistimed, making you lose your balance for a moment. You immediately ended the performance with grace, but that little mistake did not go unnoticed.

Behind the scenes, you were furious.

"You’re a disaster!" you yelled at the girl, your hair still tied in a perfect tail as you approached with a look full of anger. "Do you have any idea how much work it took to prepare for this race? And you ruin everything because you can’t count to three?"

The girl, younger and frightened, tried to justify herself. 'I’m sorry, really... it won’t happen again, I promise!'

"It won’t happen again because you won’t have another chance," you said with a cold smile that seemed more like a threat. "You’re not made for this. If you can’t keep up, go."

Jake, who was watching from the other side of the gym, crossed his arms over his chest. His dark eyes were fixed on you, and a cynical grin formed on his lips.

'Interesting,' he murmured to himself. "So this is the real you. We’ll see if in the future you still behave like this spoiled girl and bitch to people!"

He was not surprised.

He had always known that beneath that perfect facade was a wicked and ruthless side, but seeing it in action confirmed that there was much work to be done with you. And he was more than willing to be your executioner.

The next day, you were sitting with your legs crossed in the communication room, playing with a pen while waiting for the professor to announce the couples for the project. You hated group work, especially when they did it with computer science students. Those guys were mostly antisocial nerds who didn’t even know how to maintain eye contact, let alone have a conversation.

When you read your partner’s name on the paper the professor handed out, you raised an eyebrow. Jake Sim.

"Who the hell is this?" you mumbled, convinced he was just another loser. When you walked into the empty classroom you thought you’d already find that loser Jake Sim, but there was no one. The space was unsettling, the kind of silence that was not normal in a university full of noisy students. You took a few steps forward, the sound of your heels clanging on the linoleum floor.

The air was cold, and a strange feeling struck you as if someone were watching you. "What the hell is going on here?" You grumbled, with a note of annoyance in your voice.

Just then, the door behind you closed suddenly, the loud sound made you jump and you turned to snap and ran towards the door trying to open it, but the handle did not move.

It was locked.

Shook your head, trying to calm down. "It will be a joke of some idiot," you said aloud, to convince yourself more than anything else. "Stupid nerds... think they’re gonna scare me with these things?"

You took your phone out of your pocket and activated the front camera to check on the trick-a habit that never gave up, even in moments like that. But when you looked at the screen, your blood froze in your veins.

Behind you, reflected in the camera, there was a figure. Jake.

His figure was shrouded in a shadow almost palpable, and his eyes shone like small beacons in the darkness. He was behind, too close, with that usual mischievous grin that seemed to say: I got you.

You yell, dropping your phone on the ground. You’re sunflowers of snap, heart that beat so hard to hurt her. "Are you crazy?!" You screamed, Jake laughed softly, a low, hoarse sound that rang out in the empty classroom. 'Oh, princess, finally some emotion from you. Isn’t it funny being scared?'

You stared at him, the eyes wide. For a moment you seemed almost vulnerable, an absolute novelty for you. But your fear soon turned into anger.

"You’re a sick man! What did you think you were getting by doing this?!" you slammed, clenching your fists. "I can’t believe you’re Jake Sim. You’re a monster!"

Jake tilted his head, amused. Monster? Interesting. I thought you were used to being on top of everyone, and looking down on others. But look who feels vulnerable now...'

You hated him. For the first time in your life, you felt a genuine, burning hatred. And he seemed to taste it.

"I hate you," the voice charged with anger that you couldn’t control.

Jake was silent for a moment. Those words had a different weight, an intensity he didn’t expect. For a moment, he seemed almost pleased. Then, in an instant, everything changed.

His dark, ghostly figure began to change. The shadow that enveloped him dissipated, and before you appeared... a boy. A human.

Not just any guy. Jake was tall and slender, with wide shoulders and a perfect jaw. His dark hair fell on his eyes, and his smile was a mixture of mischief and temptation. He wore a simple sweatshirt and jeans, but the effect was devastating, it was extremely attractive for a half-ghost, ghost, and human.

"What... what the hell..." you stammered. Jake stepped forward, his evil grin still on his face. 'Now do you believe it, princess? I’m Jake Sim. And I am much more than you thought.'

You backed away, but he was too fast. He approached you, until he was close enough to bend slightly, his face a few centimeters from his.

"I hate you," you repeated to him.

'Perfect, because hate and love... are much more alike than you think.'

The tension between you was palpable, almost suffocating. Jake stared at you for a moment longer, his smile widening even further. Then he walked away, turning to the door which opened itself with a left creaking.

'See you at the next meeting, princess,' he said, leaving the room with a slow and confident pace.

You glanced at your phone as you were getting ready to go shower, tired after training. The deadline of the communication project was getting closer and closer, and that ghost of Jake seemed to take it very seriously. He played with you, disappeared, and reappeared when you least expected it, leaving you more confused and frustrated every time.

"How the hell do I work with a... ghost?" you murmured, taking your hand through your sweat-soaked hair.

An idea crossed your mind, making you burst into laughter. "Ghosts are not called with the Ouija board?"

You took a sheet of paper and a pen, drawing quickly a circle with letters and numbers, just for joking. Then, with a theatrical voice, you began to evoke him.

"Oh, great and powerful Jake Sim, grant your presence to this poor mortal who desperately needs to finish a project!" you said, laughing. But nothing happened, of course. Jake never showed up when needed, but he knew how to show up at the most inopportune moments.

You took off your workout clothes and wrapped yourself in a towel before heading to the bathroom.

A nice hot shower would calm your nerves and give you the strength to face all that chaos.

The water was boiling, relaxing you completely as the room filled with steam. For a moment you allowed yourself the luxury of forgetting everything: Jake, the project, the university, the pressure to be always perfect.

But when you opened the bathroom door to enter your room, you suddenly locked it. Jake was there, lying on your bed as if he were the master of the room. His dark hair fell back on his forehead, and he wore a simple unbuttoned shirt, revealing the pale skin and dangerously smug smile that you now knew all too well.

'You took a long time,' he said nonchalantly, braiding his hands behind his head as he stared at you with that cheeky and hungry look on his face as he watched you as you had only a towel covering your body.

"What the hell are you doing here?! How did you get in?"

Jake laughed softly, the sound low and melodic. 'Princess, you called me, remember? Big and powerful Jake Sim, you said.'

You had a hand on your forehead, unbelieving. "It was a joke! I didn’t think that... that..." The words died in your throat as you noticed the way he was looking at you as if he was undressing you with his eyes, Jake slowly got up from bed, the smile becoming even more mischievous. 'You know, I came while you were in the shower. For a moment I thought to reach you. But then I remembered...' He approached, your body a few centimeters from your '...I’m not a fan of water. Too... wet.'

You stepped back, but Jake came forward, narrowing the distance.

"Jake, I’m not kidding. Get out of my room. Now."

Jake tilted his head, his grin turning into a satisfied smile. 'Oh, princess, but I’m not kidding at all.'

He reached out a hand, the cold fingers brushed the hot skin of your naked leg and the contrast between the cold of his touch and the warmth of your body was almost paralyzing. Jake watched your every reaction, his dark eyes shining with malice.

"You’re so hot," he muttered, letting his hand slide slowly down your leg. "It almost feels... unnatural. Perhaps it is the fire that you have inside, or perhaps it is just the effect I make on you." You shook your head, slowly but surely his long and cold fingers slowly ran down your thigh until they went under your towel, and felt your cheeks warm up but when it was about to touch you heard the phone ring and maybe it was your salvation or Your punishment?

You looked at what and who had written to you and read:

Hi Y/n, how about going out tonight? I’m sure you’d have a lot of fun. What do you think?"

He was a campus boy, handsome, charming, and popular, but you didn’t care. After all, no guy seemed to make you beat your heart or turn you on. Although you would never admit it to anyone, Jake could stir up something inside of you that no one else had ever touched.

But when Jake noticed you were laughing while writing insignificant things to another boy, his attitude changed. In a moment, he ripped the phone out of your hands, reading messages quickly.

"What’s so funny?" asked Jake, the air suddenly getting heavier and you looked at him in surprise.

"He’s just another guy who wants to go out with me."

Jake looked up, the look of those who do not accept being ignored. 'Don’t like girls who do not pay attention to me' he said, the voice that now had a lower, lower, almost dangerous tone.

You laughed nervously, almost embarrassed by Jake’s overreaction.

"Jake, it’s not that I’m ignoring you. And anyway, I don’t care to date. I have more important things to think about, like the project, the study, and the university. I don’t need another guy to push my life,"

'Really?' Jake stared at you intensely, his face approached yours. His mouth was just a breath away from yours, and his cold breath touched your skin. 'But you don’t understand, Y/n. I’m not just any guy and I’m not a loser. I’m dead,

You stepped back, for a moment surprised by his raw sincerity. But Jake didn’t let you get away this time. Without warning, he took you by the hips with force, drawing you toward herself and opening your eyes wide, unbelieving. Jake always had you teased, but now... there was something different in his way of treating you.

"So?" you tried to get away from him, but Jake wouldn’t let you go. "You’re half dead, that’s true, but I can’t help it. You can’t expect me to give you all my attention or to walk into the world of the dead so that you’ll become a human again, Jake. I’m not who you think I am."

Jake looked at you intensely, a grin that became even darker.

Before you could escape them again, Jake kissed you. His cold and soft lips found you surprised but at the same time... There was a kind of urgency in that kiss that made you tremble. It was as if, for millennia, Jake had never had physical contact with a human being, as if your flesh were calling him. His hand moved along your body, touching your skin with a delicacy that made you shiver. You felt the cold of his fingers, but at the same time, there was an unknown heat creeping inside you.

It was as if Jake was exploring something he had never touched before, a feeling he couldn’t even describe.

Jake’s body held you captive, but you couldn’t tell if it was fear or desire that tied you to him. The kiss was like a play of lights and shadows, between the cold and the heat, between Jake’s past and his present. With a quick movement, Jake made you lie on the edge of the bed and slowly opened your towel and saw your legs trying to close but with his strength he opened them again and saw your pussy covered in pink panties and already saw that you were excited for him.

'Look who is now that desperate girl who was so sure of herself with me the first time we met? I bet I’ll make you scream my name in a few minutes when I fuck you with my tongue.'

You didn’t want to show him that you were so desperate and excited that a stupid ghost would fuck your pussy but his kisses were all over the inside of your thighs, squeezing, licking, and sometimes biting your skin. You held your breath and groaned as he rubbed his cheek against your thigh, he was waiting for your approval to proceed further and all he did was excite you even more.

"Please..." you whispered in an awkward voice. You heard Jake’s eerie laughter and to your surprise, you didn’t expect Jake to lick you directly over your panties, right where your lips were. Your eyes have opened wide, and a guttural groaning has left your throat unintentionally. The sensation sent an electric shock that ran straight down your body, and you prepared as it taunted you, pressing its hot mouth and wet tongue against the already wet barrier of your underwear.

"Jake... oh my god." It seemed like he was having a good time, licking from top to bottom,

Waving his tongue and licking every single crack as if he were a hungry man but at the same time he was teasing you and ruining you; he wanted to destroy you, he wanted to see you give in and go crazy just for him. With a tear, he took off your pink panties full of excitement and for the first time in your life you felt alive, each lick fed a flame that burned more and more hot until you were practically singing her fucking name. The tip of his tongue surrounded the lump on top of your sensitive folds and you groaned as you felt him grinning in your pussy all in good show for him lucid and excited.

'Mmmm, I’m destroying my favorite little human just with my tongue and it’s so nice to see you so vulnerable, I could break you in two at this moment but at the same time it’s so nice to hear you scream my name' he mumbled gloomily as he kept flattening his tongue on your folds, chuckling while you tried to pull his hair to hold you still. 'When you come I want you to shout it for me, okay baby otherwise I won’t make you come'

You were so embarrassed, disappointed in yourself but at the same time doomed because you wanted to come and you wouldn’t have cared if it was a ghost or a human at that moment. Jake decided to put a single finger in your pussy and you screamed as you felt your walls clenching around it, the feeling of something filling you was almost enough to push you over the edge. His rhythm accelerated and when his tongue began to touch your clitoris in time with his finger you swore that it was over for you.

"I’m so close, Jake pls" Waves of unbridled pleasure swept you away as the ghost continued his cares all along, and you heard in the distance the sound of your voice shouting his delirious name.

Jake stood between your legs, spraying soft kisses on your thighs and you couldn’t help but see the boldness of that boy in being so talented with his tongue. If he was so good with his tongue what would he do to you with his dick inside you? You shivered when he walked away from you and saw that he had a funny smile but at the same time evil that did not promise anything good and licked his fingers with your excitement and after a few seconds you heard his scary laugh throughout the room and dissolved in the air Who brought with him the cold as sharp in your whole room.

It had been a few days since that meeting in your room with Jake and finally, you had not seen him for almost a week and you were more relaxed, you were settling into the bathrooms of the university, your heart beating hard in your chest while looking at the mirror. The upcoming game and show were about to begin, and although it was more than an hour away, you felt the tension grow in every fiber of your body. You used to be commanding, always perfect, but that day something tested you. And then, as if fate wanted to add more meat to the fire, the door of the bathroom opened slowly, and when you looked up, crossing her eyes.

The girl who had knocked you down a few days earlier. You yelled at her, insulted her, and asked her to leave the team. You wanted to put her in her place. But now... now the girl looked completely different. It was clear that he was looking for something, you raised an eyebrow, your attitude indifferent, but underneath, your heart began to beat a little faster.

"What are you doing here?" You said in a tone of voice that did not hide contempt. The girl seemed undecided, but at last, with a deep breath, she came to you, her face tense but determined.

'Just wanted to say... I’m sorry for what happened, but I worked hard. Look.' The girl took out her phone and started showing videos of the training she had done alone in the days after the fall. Her determination was evident: hours spent improving, perfecting himself, without the help of anyone.

You watched those videos in silence, your eyes slipping from one movement to another. The girl no longer looked as weak as she had seen the day before, and a small glimmer of respect lit up in you. For a moment you felt vulnerable, as if you were looking at a part of yourself in that girl.

"Why should I give you another chance?" You asked in a cold tone, but something in your voice was betraying a slight opening. You never gave anyone a second chance, but something in that scene was making you doubt.

The girl, with a shy smile, stepped forward. 'Because I can do it. I promise you I won’t let you down.'

"Okay, but if you don’t, I’m gonna kick you out of the team for good. Do you understand?" The girl nodded in delight, but before she could say anything I added in a harder tone. "Don’t try to hug me, because I won’t accept it."

But as soon as you said those words, the girl gave you a quick hug, and you stayed stiff as if you had been frozen. You didn’t want it, but something in you maybe that little part that could feel human, had allowed it to happen. You were about to push the girl away, but before I could do it, a low and incredibly cold voice whispered on your neck, making you freeze on the spot.

'We are taking giant steps' The voice was grave, almost like a whisper far away, and you felt a shiver along your back.

Before you could react, cold hands leaned on your shoulder, almost as if they were complimenting you. You’re shot, and you saw it. Jake.

He smiled, his usual grin, but there was something different in his gaze as if he was looking at something more, something Y/n could not decipher.

'Oh, maybe you’re not as bad as I thought,' he said, his voice a mix of sarcasm and something darker. "I’m seeing you change. But don’t forget who you are and that you are the only way to make me relive all those emotions that you could feel for free if you opened your heart just a little bit at a time for someone! '

After the race, you were feeling euphoric. You had given your best and everything was going well. Despite the adrenaline still flowing in your veins, you felt relieved. The victory had brought a sense of peace to a hidden corner of your heart so you headed to the private bathroom that you had as team captain in the dressing room, hoping to have some quiet moments to relax a little.

But as soon as you entered, a strange feeling ran up your back. You were alone. Alone with your shadow and those thoughts that you could not stop.

You sighed, you wanted absolutely to drive away the words of Jake "You are the only means to me to revive the emotions" god hated it because you had to manage to make it become human, and then how?

You took off your cheerleading outfit and put in the shower, trying to concentrate only on the water that was running on your skin. But something had changed in the air. There was a feeling of frost that you couldn’t get away from. A feeling that made you think someone was there with her.

And then he heard it: the rustle of footsteps that belonged to no one else, his presence, the one you could never escape. Jake. His cold breath touched your skin, making you shiver, but you couldn’t get away. He had waited for her.

'Congratulations for the race' said Jake, his voice low and warm, but the tone was more sharp than usual. You did not turn around and continued to lather your hair, but felt the look of him on you and despite the anxiety that grew inside you, there was something that kept you curious. Like a butterfly attracted by light, but not knowing that light would be its destruction. Suddenly, without warning, Jake walked into the shower and pushed you hard against the bathroom wall. You tried to fight, but his cold and strong hands held you firmly in place. His breath was close, too close. His lips touched your skin, but he did not kiss it immediately.

"I was waiting for you. After all, where did you think you were going to run?" he said with a grin.

You did not let yourself be intimidated and with a mischievous smile you sunflower and lit the jet of hot water, directing it against him. You remembered that time when he did not tolerate water in his ghost form so you sprayed the water spray on his face and then on his body. Jake’s face twisted as if it were a reaction to the feeling of getting wet. His transparent clothes made him more like a golden retriever puppy, but something demonic was hidden behind his eyes.

With a lightning snap, Jake pushed you against the tiles with such force that you had no way to react. His wet and cold skin was superimposed on yours, the warmth of his body mixing with the ice emanating from him. You felt a shiver up her back, but it was not only fear. There was a deeper, more dangerous feeling: desire and I made you laugh as you saw him so helpless just because of the water.

'Don’t dare more’ Jake whispered in a guttural voice. His cold breath caressed your skin as his hands clenched tighter to your hips. 'I’ve had enough of you, of your stubbornness. I’m not your game. I’m not your pastime.'

Jake’s hands slid down your wet body, revealing his vulnerability but also his resistance. It was like a challenge. He was testing you, and you had no choice but to respond.

"I don’t care what you think," you whisper, but your voice is a little shaky. "I hate you, Jake. You’re just a ghost to me."

Jake looked at you with a cruel grin, dark eyes shining brightly like you’ve never seen before. 'It doesn’t matter what you think. We’re more alike than you think. You’re just too proud to accept it.'

His hands slipped to the neck, his cold touch that seemed to tear away all resistance. Jake’s lips came close to kissing you, but this time there was no sweetness. There was anger, desire, and an uncontrollable need to make you his. You did not back away, but your mind was becoming more confused, You started to take off his sweats and untie his pants and found him with only Calvin Klein boxer shorts and brought back to the sight that even a half-ghost wanted to have some fashionable and sexy things.

He pulled you closer to him and took you in his arms and you couldn’t resist the urge to rub your pussy fully exposed against the fabric of his underwear, slowly rocking back and forth. He moans slowly as you continue to kiss and you take advantage of this opportunity to slip your tongue into his mouth. His spit tastes like the chocolate popcorn they sold during the game.

With a gesture you made him slip his boxers on the ground and you saw for the first time his cock it was so big and already erect that he could destroy your pussy but Jake had other plans for you; 'You’re a too crazy sweetie, who is the one that is desperate to have my cock inside of you?' Rolled your eyes when you felt his lips tickling and biting you a shag while you held tight to his arms not to fall and slip.

'Answer me or I’m going away at once' You did not with your head, you didn’t want him to leave, you needed him.

"I need to have you Jake, I want everything of you and yes I am extremely brazed but at the same time desperate to need a half-ghost and human dick" Jake laughed at your words and with a slow gesture he put you down and you didn’t understand what he was doing until you felt that he slowly stroked your pussy which already had some sticky cum and put it in his fingers and then turned you over and you had your face almost attached to the wet tiles and cold from the shower.

'See if my favorite human can get it both from behind and in front of my cock, If you are so desperate to want it,’

you sunflower for fear but also excitement and saw Jake tickling your hard ass for the countless hours of training after a few seconds you felt a finger enter your hole and you started to squirm but at the same time you were Excited and you trusted him.

'Stay still princess or I’ll hurt you' and while he kept lubricating you slowly adding another finger gave you small kisses on the neck. You put your hands on the shower tiles and his hands took your ass and forcefully pushed his cock full of your excitement into your ass, you screamed for the strange feeling, for the initial pain, for scorching but after another 2/3 pushes you started moaning his name repeatedly.

"Jakey is too much, oh my god" Jake started laughing when he felt your ass getting closer and closer to him, you wanted to show off a good girl but by now your body was one with his, Jake’s venous hands are slipping under your pussy, the eyes that rotate towards the back of the head as his pushes become slightly faster and irregular and his fingers start to tease your clitoris getting swollen for all those stimulations you felt.

"Fuck Jake, it’s so good" moans painfully as Jake slid into your ass, grabbing you, using you, and ruining you as his hips bounce against your ass, shaking you with the force of every move. Your groans grew louder with each push, and you felt his warm breath against your neck, yet he did not stop, becoming only more possessive second by second.

'Damn, baby, you’re getting fucked so good by a fucking ghost, where do you want it to come?' Jake’s accented voice was pinching against your skin, while pushing inside you, felt the balls that are slapping your ass at his relentless rhythm. A hot, burning pleasure rises your spine, emitting a low, almost imperceptible squeal as it pinches your clitoris again.

You didn’t know what to say, your head wasn’t thinking anymore, you just wanted it to go on "Faster" moaning, without realizing how much his cock was controlling your mind at the time.

'Answer me where you want that comes Y/n, or I can fuck your tits with my dick'

You did not with your head, you wanted to feel it inside of you. “In my pussy, I’ve been so good lately" Jake shoved his cock in your ass again and after a while, he turned you around, had flowing locks of his black hair stuck to his forehead for sweat and a smile that promised nothing good but at the same time could not take his eyes off you.

Like a rabid demon, he takes you back in his arms and then pushes herself into your pussy and feels primordial and violent traction before he bangs you back into his cock and feels the tears build up in your eyes.

"Jake!" You cried again, hearing your pussy throbbing while it was restocking, you were extremely fucked by him, you kissed him and pulled his hair while he buried himself inside of you, his cock contracted inside your pussy a couple of seconds later, indicating that he was close to orgasm and your legs wrapped around his waist even more, holding him close to you as he kept pushing inside of you. His eyes rolled back, his cock spilled threads of cum deep into your pussy and you kept hugging him and kissing him while realizing that maybe you were extremely ruined, how could you feel for a boy who at that moment was human but soon would turn back into a ghost?

When you came back to the room after cleaning you were a little embarrassed but also relaxed, Jake slowly approached you with a towel in hand, the mischievous smile that he could not hide even when trying to be serious. 'Sit down,' he ordered softly, pointing to a chair by the bed. You raised an eyebrow, unsure whether to obey or challenge it, but in the end, you dropped on the chair with a half-puff.

"What are you doing, are you drying my hair now? I thought that after having me you would be gone forever!" you teased him.

Jake turned on the hairdryer, tilting his head in a theatrical gesture. 'Oh, queen of sarcasm, I do you a favor. Your hair is a mess, and I don’t want you to go around scaring people. You know, that’s my job and then it shows that you didn’t understand yet understand anything about me.Y/n'

Jake’s cold hands gently lifted your long wet hair. As he passed the towel you felt again that familiar shiver of her not entirely human touch, a mixture between ice and heat that always left you a little confused. Then the heat of the hair dryer began to replace that feeling, wrapping it in unexpected comfort.

You tried to mask a slight smile. "I would never have believed it, you know? Jake Sim, half ghost, half devoted hairdresser."

'Shh, don’t ruin the moment until now you’ve been good to me,' he replied with a smirk. 'I might surprise you with how good I am at taking care of you in any way from the physical, to the listening and more.'

The sound of the hair dryer filled the room, but not enough to cover the rhythm of your heart that seemed to accelerate every time Jake got too close. Jake, on the other hand, seemed focused, his eyes followed every movement of your hair as if it were a sacred ritual. When he finished, he turned off the hair dryer and let his fingers slide through the soft and dry locks, almost caressing them.

'Perfect,' he murmured, leaning over to you. 'Too perfect to be true.'

You shook your head and looked at him with rosy cheeks. "Are you done staring at me or do you want to set up a beauty salon?"

Jake touched your face with the back of his hand, tilting his head as if he were looking for something. 'You know... you taste too good,' he whispered in a low tone and loaded with dangerous intimacy. 'Always feel it, every time I approach you. I wonder how long I could resist without feeling it forever.'

Before you could answer, he stooped down and kissed your forehead with an unexpectedly tender gesture. 'Don’t tempt me again' he added with a mischievous grin, his gaze shining with something dark and irresistible.

"You’re the only one who tries yourself," you provoked him, trying to hide your heart’s crazy beat.

Jake walked away with a sneering smile, but before he let you go, he bent down again, his cold breath on your neck. " Who knows, I could get used to this... taking care of you and having you mine forever. '

Jake had dropped on your bed, broken as usual, his hair still wet falling into soft locks on his face. 'Okay, Y/n, your turn to be helpful. After all, I was a great hairdresser for you,' he said with that provocative grin.

"Don’t make me regret letting you dry my hair. Now stand still and let’s see if you can’t be the usual clown in a ghost version."

With a towel in your hand, you came closer and sat down, but instead of standing next to him, you snuggled up on his legs, taking him completely by surprise. Jake looked at you with slightly blurred eyes, his mouth bending into a funny smile. 'What are you doing?' he asked, but his voice was softer than usual.

"I take care of you, just as you did me," you replied, purposely avoiding his gaze as you began to gently dab his hair. "Now shut up, golden retriever, or you’ll ruin everything."

Jake laughed, the deep sound that clanged in his chest, but he let it. 'Golden retriever? You’re kidding me, right?'

"Perhaps," you replied but did not give him time to reply. You slowly ran your fingers through his soft hair, stroking it as if it were something natural. "Wow, your hair... is so soft. Seriously, what did you use when you were still... well, human? Baby shampoo?"

'Admit it, you like them' he replied with a half smile, closing his eyes as your hands kept moving with an unexpected delicacy.

His breath slowed down, and for a moment it seemed almost vulnerable, a sharp contrast to the usual Jake you knew always trying to scare you, tease you, or that of a few hours before as he destroyed you physically and mentally in the shower.

You watched him, surprised by how... beautiful he was. Your heart leaped, and a strange feeling invaded you. You were doomed. You were falling in love with him, a guy who wasn’t even completely human. You tried to drive that thought away, but the way Jake let himself go under your hands distracted you too much.

While you were finishing drying his hair with the hairdryer, your fingers lingered a moment on his neck, almost without thinking about it. Then, before you could stop, you bent down and left him a light kiss, almost imperceptible, on his cold skin.

Jake opened his snapped eyes and looked at you, a flash of surprise mixed with fun crossing his gaze. 'Wait a moment,' he began, the smile that was widening into a grin. 'Are you saying that, for once, you’re the physical one? The lady I don’t want to let go, don’t tell me that you like me and that I’m making you truly a human!'

You immediately retracted, trying to maintain an indifferent expression as the heat invaded your face. "Don’t get too excited, Jake. It was just... a moment of compassion."

"Compassion?" he repeated, laughing as his hands laid on your hips to hold you close. ‘Oh no, honey. You’re doomed. Admit it, you like taking care of me. I may be your pet evil ghost.’

You shook your head, but the smile you tried to hold back betrayed your cold face. "You are unbearable."

'But you adore me and you can even admit that you will miss me if I die at all,' he answered, his voice a whisper as he touched your face with his fingers,

Leaving you speechless again and with that strange feeling of fear that you had to lose him forever as it happened with your grandmother.

His words pierced your heart like a cold and sudden blow. That possibility, the idea of losing him completely, was more frightening than you wanted to admit. He was not normal, he was not human, yet he had changed your world for a couple of months now. You looked at him, trying to find words, but your throat seemed closed by a knot.

Jake raised an eyebrow, his smile returning to be a slight provocation. 'Knew it. You’re too stubborn to say, but I know you’d miss me.'

You looked down, then breathed deeply, trying to dominate the emotions that were struggling to emerge. When you finally looked up at him again, your expression was different: more vulnerable, more sincere. " Not sure I could stand it, Jake," you admitted in a low voice. "If you disappeared forever. I’m not good at... these things, but you..." tried to find the right words. " You are more than I want to admit, and if you left... it would be like losing a piece of myself."

Jake stood still for a moment, his gaze staring at you intensely. Then his smile softened, turning into something more authentic, more tender.

'I knew it,' he said, gently pulling you toward him. 'I knew that beneath all that hardness there was a part of you that could not resist me.'

You gave him a little blow on the shoulder, but you let him hold you. It was warm, hotter than you would ever have thought possible for a being that was not fully alive. You took refuge against him, closing your eyes as you felt his slow and steady breath. "You’re unbearable," you murmured against his chest.

'And you are adorable when you try to deny the obvious,' he replied, his voice that vibrated softly.

‘Now stop fighting with yourself and relax. You’re safe with me.'

Jake squeezed you tighter, and in the silence of the room, the world seemed to stop. His hand traced a slow and reassuring path down your back, and you let go, feeling strangely safe. You weren’t ready to confess everything, not yet, but you knew that Jake had understood. He knew you too well. But you didn’t know that maybe it was too late and you had to confess your feelings...

A ray of sunshine seeped through the curtains, hitting your face and woken you gently. For a moment, she stood there, still half asleep, waiting for you to feel that strange familiar feeling of Jake next to you. But when you sunburn, you find only a void next to you, the cold pillow, as if no one had ever been there.

Your heart was tight. You quickly got up, looking around the room. There was no sign of Jake, nor his cheeky smile, nor his teasing. The only thing that remained was that slight, unmistakable cold smell, like the distant echo of his presence.

Closed your eyes, clenching his knees to his chest. Maybe it was silly, but the absence of Jake hurt you already, more than you were ready to admit.

You found yourself running with the cold wind that hit your face, strangely the day was sunny but your phone gave -5 degrees, shoes sinking in the now frozen mud, and ran to the entrance of the cemetery below the university. Your heart was beating crazy, confused, and broken at the same time. You were running to the cemetery without thinking twice, desperately looking for a place where you could feel at least a fragment of peace, a little comfort.

You knelt before your grandmother’s grave, trembling hands holding the cold stone as if it could answer your pain. "Grandma," you murmured with a broken voice. "I’m... am I in love with a ghost?”

Of someone who shouldn’t even exist? Is this my destiny?"

Warm tears were flowing down your cheeks as the silence of the cemetery seemed to crush you. You didn’t dare to go see Jake’s grave. The only thought of it was squeezing your chest in a vice. If he had disappeared forever... you wouldn’t be able to bear it.

At first, you despised him, you hated him with all your heart but slowly he managed to make you feel emotions that you hadn’t felt in a while, you were better with everyone and you were also weaker.

You did not stand alone for long, though. Behind your back, the sound of light steps and familiar voices made you turn around. Hoon, Heeseung, and Jay slowly approached their faces halfway between the amused and the serious. It was strange to see them there, in that sacred and sad place, but they did not seem to be disturbed by the atmosphere. After all, they were ghosts.

'Then,' Jay began with a crooked smile, hands tucked in the pockets of his leather jacket 'Did you come here to cry? It’s not like you, Y/n. The last time I saw you crying was when they buried your grandmother.

Heeseung crouched next to you, looked at you with an almost compassionate look, and said in a calm voice: -You know, Jake would hate to see you like this. -

Hoon instead merely crossed his arms, leaning against a nearby tree, his icy eyes peering at the cheerleader with an almost sharp curiosity. << Don’t want to know? >> asked, tone devoid of emotion. << Do not you want to go see his tomb? Maybe there is something that you do not know. >>

"I can’t," you whisper, looking down. "What if it wasn’t there? What if it was all over?"

Jay laughed softly, shaking his head. 'Do you realize how dramatic you are? Come with us, we’ll help you find out.'

Hoon pulled himself away from the tree and reached out to you, his face still impassive but his voice softer. << If you don’t do it now, you’ll regret it. Trust us. >>

You stared at them for a moment, hesitating, the heart that was hammering into your chest. Then, with a deep breath, you grabbed Hoon’s hand. Perhaps it was time to face the truth, whatever it may be. You held Hoon’s hand as if it were the only hold that would keep you from collapsing completely, Heeseung, with an unexpected sweetness held your arm, almost protecting you from the frost that seemed to invade every part of the cemetery. No words were exchanged during the walk; the air was heavy, full of emotions that nobody dared to pronounce.

When they finally reached Jake’s grave you stopped, your eyes rested on the stone. The date was fresh, almost as if it had been traced only a few hours earlier. The date was yesterday. The day you made him understand, in your own way, that you were in love with him.

You fell to your knees before the tomb, trembling hands brushing the cold surface. " No... no, it can’t be," whispers in tears. Your face twitched into a look of heartbreaking pain as tears poured down. "Why? Why now?"

Jay leaned down beside you, laying a hand on your back in a surprisingly gentle gesture to him. 'Don’t cry like that, Y/n. You know Jake would hate to see you like this.'

Jay’s words were lost in the despair that clouded your mind. Every fibre of your being cried out in pain, for the regret that you did not say those words aloud.

As the three friends tried to comfort her, a familiar figure approached silently from the cemetery gates. Jake. But this time it was not the spirit you had known. It was almost entirely human. His hair was brown and shining in the sunlight, and beside him was the Death Overseer, a mysterious and imposing figure.

Jake stopped a few steps away, looking at the scene with a mixed expression of relief and sadness.

The Overseer looked at him sideways, his voice deep and calm. "You have completed your mission, Jake. You made her fall in love. Not a ghost, but your true essence. Even when she hated you, even when she tried to deny it... she loved you."

Jake didn’t answer immediately, his eyes were fixed on you. He saw you kneeling, destroyed, and felt your heart clench in his chest. For a moment, he wondered if it was right to come to you.

Heeseung was the first to turn and notice Jake’s figure. His eyes widened in surprise, but a slow grin formed on his lips. -Well, well,- he muttered, with the tone of someone who had just seen a miracle.

Jay turned right after, his face lit with a look of admiration. 'Here he is, our hero,' he said, laughing quietly.

Hoon was the last to turn. For a moment, his gaze remained impassive, but then a crooked smile sprayed on his face. << You arrived just in time,> he said with a cold but smug tone.

You heard the whispers of the three and slowly raised your eyes, following their glances. When your eyes met those of Jake, time seemed to stand still. The tears that still wrinkled his face stopped halfway, and your breath was blocked.

"Jake..." He stepped forward, his face serious but lit up with a slight smile. 'Don’t cry anymore, Y/n,' he said, his voice as warm as never before.

"You... you did all this to me! You left me alone to suffer! I hate you, Jake! I hate you so much!"

Jake stood still as you slammed up, your fists clenched down your hips. Without thinking twice, you began to strike him in the chest, his blows strong as your hands trembled.

"I can’t stand the fact that you’re here now as if nothing had happened! You made me fall in love, you turned my life upside down, and then you left!"

You screamed, each word accompanied by a fist on Jake’s chest.

He let you do it. He said nothing, did not even move to stop you. He stood there, in silence, letting all his anger and your pain spill over to him. At last, when you began to give in, your hands slowed down, sliding against his chest, until they tensed the fabric of his shirt.

"I hate you... I hate you because I can’t stop loving you..."

Jake, without saying a word, wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you hard against him. His grip was firm, protective.

'Sorry," said Jake, his voice low but full of sincerity. "I’m sorry for making you suffer, for all the pain I’ve caused you. I never wanted to hurt you, but I can’t leave you. Not now.'

You let go of his arms and Jake lowered his face towards you, his warm breath against your skin. Then, with a slow and gentle movement, he took your face in his hands and kissed you.

The kiss was sweet, but full of all the passion, remorse, and love they had accumulated. For a moment, it seemed that the whole world was disappearing around them.

But a golden glow interrupted that moment. You turned and, to your surprise, you saw the soul of the grandmother that was slowly dissolving, wrapped in a warm and reassuring light.

"Grandma..." you murmured.

The figure of the grandmother smiled softly, her gaze full of love and pride. He approached you, touching your cheek with an ethereal hand, cold and warm at the same time.

"I’m proud of you," she said, her voice a whisper that seemed to come from every direction. "You’ve found someone who truly loves you. Someone worth fighting for."

"Grandma, don’t go..." whispered, but the figure of the woman smiled and shook her head slightly.

"It’s my time, baby. But yours... has just begun."

With a last smile, Grandma disappeared, leaving you there with Jake.

'She was right, you know,' he said with a slight smile. 'You have such a big heart, Y/n... and I’m the luckiest to have even a piece of it.'

He squeezed it hard at you and Jake closed his eyes and embraced you again, promising himself that he would never let you feel alone again.

Hee, Hoon, and Jay exchanged a look as they watched Jake and Y/n walk away hand in hand, an almost surreal image: a half-ghost and a human girl entangled in a love that seemed to defy all natural law. Jay puffed, leaning against a nearby tree, his usual ironic smile painted on his face.

'Who would have ever known, eh? Jake, our romantic hero,' he said with a laugh, shaking his head.

<< Ridiculous,>> Sunghoon replied, crossing his arms and looking away, his gloomy gaze that seemed to be digging into nothing. << It is nothing but a weakness. He is tying himself to something that will destroy him. >>

The grandmother of Y/n appeared not far away, still wrapped in that ethereal light. His gaze, however, was fixed on them, a funny smile that promised nothing good. She approached slowly, her words a whisper that seemed at the same time a command and a mockery.

"What about you three? Do you think you will be like this for eternity? Alone, bored, judging others as they move forward in life?"

Jay chuckled, Hee shrugged, but Hoon stood still, his icy gaze pointed at the woman

<< I need nothing, much less love,> said Hoon, in a low and sharp voice. <<Humans are weak. Love makes them even more fragile. And we are half dead, remember? There is nothing for us there. >>

The grandmother came even closer, staring at him with a keen curiosity. " Oh, Hoon," she said in a sweet, almost maternal tone, but that carried with it a hint of defiance. "Are you sure? Don’t you feel a bit jealous? Look at Jake and think there might be something more for you too?"

Hoon laughed, but the sound was bitter. << Jealous of what? To be bound to a fate that depends on an illusion? No, thank you.>>

"We’ll see," replied the grandmother with an enigmatic smile. "Love has strange ways of getting into even the coldest hearts." He turned to Hee and Jay, his smile becoming softer. "What about you? Will you just look?"

Jay raised his hands in surrender. 'Hey, don’t get me in the way. I’m fine like this. Let’s just let Hoon fight with his demons.'

Hee, becoming quieter, shook his head but said nothing.

The grandmother dissolved with a slight glow, leaving them alone in their solitude. Jay and Hee exchanged a glance, then they looked at Hoon, who seemed to be immersed in his thoughts.

<< Don’t say it either,>> said Hoon before Jay could open his mouth.

'I said nothing,' Jay replied, with a provocative grin.

Hoon sighed, annoyed, but his mind kept returning to the same question. There was something about seeing Jake and Y/n together that irritated him deeply. Not because he was jealous of Jake, but because a part of him hated the fact that love had found a way to insinuate itself into their broken existence.

But, out of sight, fate was already preparing its next move. Someone was about to enter Hoon’s life and who he had perhaps already met in a past life, someone who would upset his every belief. Not a simple or banal love, but something as dark and intense as him. And perhaps because of this, inevitable.

Taglist: @hearts4cheol @lovenha7 @in-somnias-world @heeseungxo @luvyeni @jayjw16enxp @jvngwni @jooniesbears-blog @gguk-n @cloudykim @enhaverse713586 @stormy1408 @jakesw82 @misssparklyprincess @bamguetismee @jaylajakey @arclviie @strxwbloody @steddie-steddie @jungwoosbaey @laurenmia65 @tasnemluvs @lovellydisaster @rikiscupid @simj4k3 @numnommz @sspidermanss @vixialuvs @smlbch @m3wkledreamy @xylatox @ikeulove @nishikio @ancnymcnzjy @sofiafromvenus @kayjiguki

Comments and rebblog are appreciated

(I was able to finish it first:)

927 notes · View notes

kysstar · 29 days ago

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SALT ON YOUR CROWN | KIM HONGJOONG

pairing : : pirate!kim hongjoong x princess!reader

genre/trope : : pirate au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, captor x captive (kinda?)

warnings : : cursing, blood, violence, torture, forced marriage etc.

author's note : : another series *sigh* someone needs to strap me down istg. anygays, ateez, and pirate aus? a classic. pirate x princess? nothing new. im a basic bitch alright? also, you'll have to imagine you have an older brother here!! for plot purposes. comment if you want to be added to the taglist!

OOO. SYNOPSIS

Captain Hongjoong didn’t mean to kidnap a princess.

They were after a merchant’s daughter—an easy snatch-and-sail job. Hold her for ransom, get paid, vanish with gold in their pockets. What they dragged aboard instead was a princess. A real one. Draped in silk, sharp in the eyes, and far too calm for someone who’d just been kidnapped.

Captain Hongjoong wants nothing to do with her. He hates crowns, hates what they stand for, hates the smug tilt of her chin. He’s ready to toss her back into the sea or straight onto a palace doorstep.

But then she offers him a bargain: one month of hiding, until the wedding she never asked for is over, and she’ll pay double what she’s worth.

He agrees—for the gold. Not for her.

She’s meant to be lying low, staying quiet. Instead, she lingers at the edges of their heists, learning the ropes, laughing with the crew, slipping out of her royal skin day by day. It should bother him. It does.

She’s fire in velvet. Trouble in disguise. And she doesn’t belong on his ship.

But the sea doesn’t care for rules. And some mistakes are harder to throw overboard than others.

OOO. CHAPTERS

chapter one : : plan gone south

chapter two : : silk to stitch

chapter three : : dark corners

chapter four : : ?? [coming soon!]

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jenscx · 8 months ago

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CALL ME WHEN YOU GET LOST !

# special 2k celebration ; aespa as classic tropes

tags aespaxreader, fluff, idol!au, fifthmember!reader, karina’s fic is inspired by haobin fanmeeting, zero angst, flirty x flustered, only one bed, sunshine x sunshine protector, enemies to lovers

🎙️ author’s note: thank you everyone for 2k followers! i was never expecting to gain so much traction for my writing but i’m really happy that people have been enjoying my works! as promised, here is a special fic to truly show how grateful i am for your support (*¯︶¯*)

YU JIMIN — flirty x flustered

jimin would definitely enjoy teasing you a lot. the first time she had made an offhand comment, her eyes were basically sparkling when she witnessed the blush that spread through your face. she likes the way your eyes evert from her gaze.

“oh? are you blushing again? did your heart flutter because of me?” jimin would ask, staring at you intently with faux innocence. she’s amused by your hand reaching out to swat her face away. despite your disdain for her flirty nature, some part of you felt satisfied whenever jimin’s attention would be on you solely. it was egotistical, but you enjoyed it nonetheless; the fact that this one girl had people bowing down at her feet, worshipping her, but she only focused on you.

jimin’s flirting has no end; during vlogs, behind the scenes, instagram lives, concerts and even fanmeets. like that one time, a fan had asked jimin who she would her sibling date in aespa and her response had twitter up in flames the next day.

“who would i let my sibling date?” jimin hums thoughtfully, her head swaying from side to side as she observes her fellow members. you catch the way her lips curl into a smirk above the microphone, “that person must be a kind and sweet girl then…”

there’s multiple chants of ‘y/n’ from the crowd of mys, no doubt due to the popularity of ynrina. you bow your head down, cheeks already slightly red. then, jimin says, “maybe aeri? she’s very caring and reliable.”

the crowd falls silent with disappointment and then one fan shouts, “why not y/n?!” the mention of your name makes you snap your head upwards and you reach for the microphone to retort. yet, jimin beats you to it and she giggles slyly, “y/n is mine.”

“what?!” another fan shrieks and suddenly, they all erupt into cheers and screams. you wince at their loudness, the fluffy headband resting neatly on your hair nearly falling down. jimin’s face is filled with satisfaction and your members are equally as stunned as the crowd.

you groan, already feeling the fatigue from having to do another late instagram live to feed the fanservice after today. jimin only grins, clearly elated by the response of the fans.

“jimin-ah, why do you like y/n?!”

the mentioned girl only hums, supposedly unfazed by all the commotion caused by her answer.

“y/nnie? her reaction’s are cute, no?” jimin smiles, glancing at you. unfortunately for yourself, the seating arrangement was according to age and being the second oldest, you found yourself sitting next to jimin. “and she’s a good cook. she always cooks for us and her ramen is delicious. i think she would make a good girlfriend.”

your ears burn with embarrassment as multiple flashes go off, capturing the moment that would surely make its way onto the trending page tomorrow. jimin merely nods, proud of herself.

“what about you, y/n-ah?!”

you swallow your saliva, inhaling sharply and picking up the microphone. there’s a moment of hesitation before you mutter, “jimin unnie would make a good sister-in-law.”

the crowd bursts into disappointment and jimin glares at you playfully with disapproval. she huffs, “am i not your type?” her question only further fuels the burning heat in your cheeks. you can barely look at her now, eyes staring straight at the numerous letters and gifts your fans had given you that were all laid out on the table.

“so who would you choose to date then?” jimin adds. you can feel the saliva in your throat drying up, “uhm… maybe… minjeongie…”

“kim minjeong, don’t steal my y/n!” jimin yells as minjeong rolls her eyes. your eyes fall on yizhuo, who’s already grimacing at the scene. you just know she’s imagining her twitter timeline tomorrow.

“stop making fun of her before she explodes,” aeri chides as jimin gleefully chuckles. the older one reaches over to prod at your cheek, feeling the warmth and then cradling it in her palm, “her face is so hot.”

“unnie—” your voice comes out strained and luckily for you, minjeong cuts in, “rina unnie, calm down.”

jimin halts for a second and then sighs loudly and dramatically. she leans back into her chair, pouting. you can still feel the adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream from her touch. it’s maddening the way she can make you feel so flustered without much effort.

true to your words, both ‘karina’ and ‘y/n’ trended on twitter the next day. the keywords had exploded in popularity and there were thousands of edits of this supposed y/nrina moment.

@jjimyangs | 28/09/24

ynrina’s cute relationship ^^ the way rina says her sibling can’t date yn because yn is hers where can i find a yu jimin for myself 🙈

@ningzhyo | 28/09/24

ynrina is REAL. i can’t believe they’re this flirty and sweet in front of us this is sickening omfg im about to throw up. if they arent dating i’ll eat my sock

@solddaeng | 28/09/24

aespa trending cuz of ynrina… thank you gay people for existing 🙏🙏

UCHINAGA AERI — only one bed

going on tour meant having barely an hour’s worth of sleep, frantic running and packing, drastic practices that drained your energy and sharing hotel rooms together. most of the time, the company would be able to book separate rooms for all the members. at least when they were free, they could rest with comfort. you appreciated that fact. either that or the company would at least have member sharing a twin bed hotel room rather than a single.

yet, the hasty planning of the tour led to some misunderstandings and confusion. everyone had been working extremely hard for the upcoming schedules and perhaps some miscommunication had happened. hence, that’s why you found yourself staring at a single bed with uchinaga aeri by your side. for the hongkong stop, aeri was to share a room with you and you didn’t mind at all. you had been her roommate for a couple of months before. aeri was neat, clean and helpful.

unfortunately you couldn’t fathom how you both would be able to fit on a single bed. the room had no other space to sleep on— other than the living room couch.

you turn your head back to the couch situated right in front of the television stand. there’s already a feeling of soreness that runs through your back as you observe the firm and rough texture.

aeri was already having back aches with the amount of practise you had been doing and she couldn’t suffer another night. you weren’t too fond of sleeping on the couch either.

“let’s just sleep together,” aeri offers.

“will we both fit?” you ask hesitantly.

aeri grimaces slightly before nodding. you had already showered and due to your fatigue, you didn’t even notice that there was a single bed instead of two. freshly showered, aeri heads towards the bed and flops onto it. her body already took up almost a third of the space available and there was no doubt that you had to at least squeeze together to accommodate you as well. your hand reaches out to the side to turn off the remaining lamps. as the room dims, you take hesitant steps towards the bed.

you sit on top of the duvet sheet and carefully maneuver yourself to slide into the blanket. aeri only watches and she slowly inches closer to the side.

your skin eventually rests against the soft sheets and aeri’s body. her touch emits warmth and it sends a tingle down your spine. you don’t dare to look up at her, choosing to stare away. your hands are placed awkwardly by your side

“is this okay…?” aeri’s voice whispers beside your ear. you sink further into the mattress, feeling the tips of your ears burn at her close proximity. swallowing your saliva, you mumble back, “ye-yeah.. it’s fine.”

you can feel aeri shifting a bit before nodding her head. a moment of silence passes. your eyes eventually flutter close but aeri shuffles around again. when you peek in the darkness, half of her limbs are dangling down the bed and her face is scrunched up in discomfort. she’s facing the other side and at the edge of the bed.

“you should come closer. you’re gonna fall off,” you state, guilt seeping into you.

“it’s okay— there’s, uhm, not much space,” she replies. you ignore her words and turn around. once you’re facing her back directly, you reach out to tug at her arm, pulling her closer to the middle.

aeri lets out a whine but she doesn’t resist.

“should we just cuddle?” aeri asks quietly. there really wasn’t another way. you were fine with skinship but something about cuddling with the japanese seemed too intimate. you hadn’t been too comfortable with physical touch at first but after getting closer to the members, you would no longer flinch at their advances.

among all the members, you would say you spent the least time with aeri. despite being the same age, you just got too intimidated everytime she was near you. her domineering figure that towered over your head was frightening. sometimes, when you’re talking, she would lean down to listen better and it only makes you even more aware of how much taller she is than you. something about the noticable height difference made your chest constrict and your cheeks flush.

“i guess so,” you try to hide the nervousness in your voice. unfortunately, it does crack a little but aeri pays no mind to it. just as you flip your body around, she flings a hand over your waist, pulling your back flush against her chest. goosebumps rise against your skin as you feel her body warmth.

“this is better,” aeri mutters, sighing comfortably. her cool breath breezes over your ear, forcing an involuntary shiver that makes you shrink in her arms even further. her legs are woven with yours, tangling together like threads. you can feel every inch of the smooth expanse of her legs that silently, you curse yourself for wearing shorts. “you okay?” aeri asks.

“yes, i’m fine,” you croak out, “goodnight aeri.”

“mhm— night, lovely.”

@aebbltrans | 21/09/24

🌙💬 bubble update

‘did everyone sleep well?’

+1 📸

‘i sure did 🤭’

seems like ynselle slept together?!

@aerishilton | 21/09/24

yn and gigi shared a hotel room and bed last night omfg and gigi posting a photo of them cuddling YNSELLE NATION WE ARE ALIVE!

KIM MINJEONG — sunshine x sunshine protector

you had known minjeong for a long time— ever since you were trainees. most of the time, she was broody and indifferent. popular for her cold looks, the stage name ‘winter’ suited her well. sometimes, rarely, she would smile. you didn’t understand why she had such a poker face on for the longest time until she had gifted you with the sight of her smile. then you understood that it was because the curl of her lips would give people heart attacks immediately.

minjeong wouldn’t smile often, but when she did, it was like a gift from god himself. hence, everytime she would grace you with her smile, you would subconsciously capture the memory in your mind.

when you had first debuted, minjeong was criticised heavily for not having any facial expressions. you had spent countless nights as burner twitter accounts arguing with trolls and haters. you hated how everytime she went online, her smile would dim further.

you would have your ipad, macbook and phone all displaying the comment section under minjeong’s fancams and everytime you spotted a hate comment, you would start arguing with them about how minjeong was definitely not a robot and she had real emotions. sometimes minjeong would wake up from her naps, groggily hugging your back for comfort and you would get distracted from this super important matter at hand.

(but minjeong always comes first and she gives really good hugs, so you’ll abandon your devices in favour of cuddling her under her thick, comfy blanket.)

one time, the hate comments were especially bad and minjeong didn’t come out for dinner, even refusing her favourite food. obviously worried, you had gone to her room, begging for her to let you in.

after some time, minjeong finally opened the door. you had felt your chest deflating at her puffy eyes and red nose, still sniffling. you spent that entire night talking to minjeong, saying how proud you are of her and how she shouldn’t listen to whatever mindless nonsense she was reading.

“—i know it’s difficult to express your emotions well and i understand. you can always talk to me. i just want you to be happy,” you had comforted her. minjeong only stared at you, confused.

“i’m the happiest version of myself right now,” she had stated firmly. despite the evident tears rolling down her rosy cheeks, her voice was full of conviction. you could only smile fondly and rest your head against hers, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

at that moment, you had vowed to always protect minjeong. that precious smile that you rarely saw— it needed to be preserved gently, like a diamond. if you could keep her in a museum, protected behind a layer of thick glass no one could penetrate, you would.

even a few years into your career, when aespa was steadily growing in popularity, you had deemed yourself as the knight in shining armor that would protect your minjeong from harm. traveling meant that fans would swarm the airport and paparazzi would camp outside the terminals, hoping to take photos of the newly arrived idols.

the moment you stepped out of the gates, fans had started pushing around and a crowd swiftly formed, surrounding the whole group and the bodyguards. minjeong was latched onto your arm and you felt her grip tighten as multiple flashes of cameras went off. you had pulled her a little closer to your body, ensuring that the horde of fans couldn’t get too close.

“winter! look here!”

"karina-ssi!"

minjeong’s head turns and she’s nearly bombarded by a new onslaught of fans, all pushing towards her like zombies. instinctively, you step ahead to block her from everyone, a scowl plastered on your face. you loved your fans and your life as an idol but sometimes the attention was overwhelming. hands reached out through the gaps between the security, holding letters and gifts. you had tried your best to grab any envelopes with one hand since your other was occupied with hugging minjeong.

one hand filled with letters, you try to muster up a grateful smile at everyone despite your annoyance that they were shoving cameras in your face. the other members were in front, jimin leading the way while aeri and yizhuo followed closely behind. you could see the gate where the company car was parked from far away. knowing that you would reach soon, relief settled in your heart while minjeong’s fingernails dug into your skin.

“you okay?” you ask loudly over all the shouting. minjeong nods meekly and exclaims through her mask, “i’m okay!”

almost a third of the way there, you hear a yelp within the crowd and a blur flashes by your face. security immediately tries to block off the stranger breaching through their protection. the person manages to just glide their fingertips on minjeong’s shoulder before you jump into action, grasping the collar of their shirt and pulling them as far away as you could from minjeong. then, you shove them forcefully into the hands of your bodyguards, leaving them to deal with the stranger. you can feel minjeong trembling beside you and internally, you curse yourself for not acting faster.

the rest of the trip to the car goes by smoothly; all the fans seemed a little more timid now, probably shocked that their idol would push them away and scared of the repercussions if they did get too close. the moment you entered the car, you inhale sharply, finally catching a breath of fresh air from all the commotion.

“thank you for just now,” minjeong whispers quietly and if you hadn’t been paying extra attention to her, you would have missed it.

“that guy got too close,” you shake your head, frowning at the thought of him being within a metre radius of minjeong. the girl only pouts cutely, “at least you were there to save me.” she says it like she’s a damsel in distress that you were owed the duty of protecting. maroon colouring your cheeks, you cough awkwardly, “just making sure you guys are fine.”

“you should join the security team,” jimin chuckles while aeri feels up your biceps, aweing in disbelief, “how’d you manage to throw him like that?! you don’t even go to the gym.”

meanwhile, yizhuo just sighs, “twitter’s going to be crazy tomorrow.”

@kminsiksgf | 29/09/24

DOES ANYONE HAVE THAT VIDEO OF YN TOSSING THE SASAENG AWAY FROM MINJEONG

@krynaeri | 29/09/24

oomf just blessed me with a new minyn moment 😫 wish i was mj so bad i want yn to be throwing people around for me.

@ynbubble | 29/09/24

🫧💭 [3.17pm]

mys~~ please be careful if you come see us at the airport ^^ walk slowly and carefully! to protect yourself don’t push around and make sure to be respectful!

+1 📸

look at how well minjeongie is taking her afternoon nap! like a cute puppy 🐶

NING YIZHUO — enemies to lovers (one-sided)

ever since the chinese girl had became your roommate, you had hated her. from the moment she landed in sm, she always managed to ignite a fire of rage inside you. ning yizhuo was cocky, rude and nasty in your eyes. you wouldn’t understand why jimin and minjeong were so prone to hanging out with her since she was a literal spawn of satan. sometimes you think that god sent her up to earth from hell to test your limits.

constantly eating your snacks, throwing paper airplanes at your head folded from lyric sheets, purposely bumping into you during dance practices, was there a day that went by without your blood boiling because of ning yizhuo? you hated how she used her angelic charms and innocence as a maknae to get herself out of trouble. when you had received the confirmation of shooting a debut music video, your heart had leapt, then dropped down into a bottomless pit when jimin had awkwardly muttered, “ning too.”

since your debut wasn’t truly confirmed until the music video dropped, you had prayed every day consistently, hoping that somehow, one of the higher-ups would decide to take yizhuo out of the lineup. yet, that never happened since on the seventeenth of november, you had debuted with yizhuo by your side. the anger you held for her subsided for a while during the first round of promotions since even it couldn’t overwhelm the happiness of debuting. but the moment everything settled again, it came back swinging in full force.

nothing you did seemed to restrain yizhuo from causing trouble. she would even bully you in front of the cameras, pinching your cheeks and smacking your shoulder roughly, all under the guise of being friendly. yizhuo knew you wouldn’t retaliate against her while shooting, so she took her chance. the popularity of the ‘tom and jerry’ duo, as fans had coined, only further brought suffering in your life. management would constantly want you and yizhuo to interact and they would force you to sit next to each other during fanmeetings.

“stop pinching me!” you yell, whacking yizhuo’s hand away with a my melody plushie a fan had gifted. the crowd only laughed at how yizhuo avoided your attacks and squeezed your cheeks gleefully. you wanted to smack that smirk off her face.

“mys, isn’t y/n so cute?” yizhuo asks, grinning proudly. head pounding from how hard your heart was beating, you give up fighting back and choose to glare at yizhuo between your squished cheeks.

“stop bullying her,” jimin chuckles, putting on a night fury headpiece. yizhuo rolls her eyes but she relents. throughout the fansign, she would make teasing comments, borderline almost hurtful if you weren’t already used to her antics.

one fan had asked, “how do you deal with ningning all the time? you’re very patient.”

you had to hide the disgusted sneer on your face and opt for a casual laugh, “she’s a handful. i’m just doing my best.”

yizhuo had obviously giggled at your lie and continued conversing with her own fan animatedly. just as another fan sits down, you hear the mind-boggling request of, “can we have ningy/n posing together?” your eyes had nearly bulged out of their sockets and you almost blurted out for her to repeat her question. unfortunately, yizhuo had heard her (because she has supersonic bat hearing, which you found out after you had cursed her under your breath and she merely winked at you).

“c’mere,” yizhuo wiggles her fingers around, pulling your chair closer and forming a half of a heart with her left hand. begrudgingly, you do the same with your right hand, smiling at the wave of flashes that go off. her other hand wraps around your shoulder, gripping it tightly but playing it off as skinship. you wince at the sharp nails that dig into your bare skin.

even after the fansign, you could still see the indents she left behind if you craned your neck. the car ride back to the dorms was the only peace and quiet you kept to yourself. yizhuo would normally be knocked out after such a tiring day and she, understandably, would much rather sleep than annoy her favourite member. you would sneak glances at yizhuo, who was coincidentally sitting next to you, making sure she wouldn’t jolt awake and scare you or anything.

(at least that’s what you told yourself.)

the bumpy ride only caused yizhuo to flinch and shift uncomfortably in her seat, cuddling further into one of the many plushies the fans had given her. you would use this time to stare out the window and admire the serenity of the scenery. when the car hit a particularly rough patch in the road, yizhuo jostled before her head dropped lowly onto your shoulder. you couldn’t even recoil away since you were sitting next to the car door.

“how cute,” aeri teases, pointing at yizhuo who rested soundly. you grit your teeth and scoff, “this wasn’t by choice.”

your quick quips attracted the attention of jimin and minjeong as well, who joined in.

“are you sure you hate her?” minjeong asks mockingly. you clench your fists and make a gesture of punching her. unfazed, she only leans further into her seat and whispers conspiratorially, “she likes you, don’t you know?”

“shut up—”

jimin cuts in, “seriously though, ningie has never paid so much attention to someone before.”

your cheeks redden involuntarily and there’s a conspicuous gulp of saliva that goes down your throat.

“what?!”

“don’t you get it? why ningie only teases you?” aeri questions again, her voice full of intrigue this time. with the members’ stares on you, you can only squeeze your eyes shut and huff loudly, “it’s not like that!”

sighing, aeri turns back to her phone, “sure kid. whatever you wanna tell yourself.”

similar to aeri, minjeong and jimin do the same and indulge in their own conversation while you’re left to ponder about their words.

ning yizhuo who would only steal your pocky. ning yizhuo who would only doodle on your lyric sheets. ning yizhuo who would constantly find some way to make you angry. ning yizhuo who you hated.

you knew she was doing all this to get a reaction out of you but you hadn’t expected it to be for such a reason.

ning yizhuo who only ever wanted your attention.

your entire body flushes at the realisation and you freeze when yizhuo stretches her arms out, waking from her slumber.

“ah— sorry,” she says lowly, her voice raspy from the nap. you don’t bother replying her, scared that your own voice might crack. hiding behind your bangs, you face away.

yizhuo doesn’t take the hint that you physically cannot speak to her right now and she insteads places a hand on your thigh that sends sparks of humiliation throughout your veins, grinning slyly, “your shoulder’s super comfortable. lend it to me some other time, okay?”

🔔 NINGNING just made a post.

with my favourite y/nnie! ☀️💛

see all comments

aerichandesu don’t hog y/n all to yourself 😕

↳ imnotningning she likes me the most.

imwinter i thought i was your favourite?

↳ imnotningning sorry, no.

katarinabluu congrats on the newlyweds~

↳ imnotningning you’re my second favourite!

#aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #aespa #yu karina x reader #yu karina #karina x reader #yu jimin x reader #jimin x reader #kim winter x reader #winter x reader #kim minjeong x reader #minjeong x reader #giselle x reader #uchinaga aeri x reader #aeri x reader #ning yizhuo x reader #ningning x reader

1K notes · View notes

humanjarvis · 29 days ago

Text

serenade

synopsis: when top music critic sylus qin gives your new album a scathing review, you plan a performance to make him pay.

tags: celebrity au, porn with plot, enemies to lovers (reader hates him, sylus is generally a bastard but just doing his job), mirror sex, p in v, light choking, moderate biting, size difference, dramatic reader, reader does some light internet stalking, brief angst only bc sylus’s review was mean, he does something nice at the end to make up for it, inspired by dandelion by ariana grande pairing: music critic!sylus x pop star!fem reader word count: 7.2k

a/n: writing this was a traumatic experience i literally decided i was going to finish and upload today 12 hours ago because i cannot have this in my drafts any longer

I. THE RATING

“A fucking 4.7?!” you screech, hurling your phone across the bed in horror.

It must be a mistake. A typo, or maybe your eyesight has gotten worse since your last checkup. Paparazzi cameras can do that, your optometrist had told you once. Yes. You’re sure that’s the case.

Taking a moment to breathe—hyperventilate, more like—you snatch the device back up and double-check with wild eyes.

And sure enough, in big bold letters: Four. Point. Seven.

There was no way. No fucking way that that hard-ass snobby bastard Sylus Qin had given your new album—the record you’d poured your heart and soul into—a 4.7/10 rating.

You refresh and refresh, but the numbers stay the same. 4.7, followed by heartless jabs that carve into your chest like daggers. Failed. Uninspired. Noise.

You must have died last night, somehow. You must be dead right now. And for some reason unbeknownst to you—you’ll have to talk it out with God if you ever get the chance—you had woken up in Hell.

Life as you knew it was over. The little ghouls who hounded you online were going to throw you to the wolves. Your agent would be lucky to book you at a high school bake sale. The reporters—if you even counted as a celebrity anymore—would never let this go. And there was only one man to blame.

Sylus Qin.

The name alone struck fear into the hearts of the entire pop industry. Not even the living legends with decades-long careers were safe.

The man himself was an enigma, with little known of him other than his unnaturally deep voice and moderately vampiric appearance. But the reputation that preceded him was that of the most renowned music critic alive.

No one knew how he got his start—maybe he’d just spawned onto Earth one day, slashing dreams and breaking hearts. Or maybe his mother had played him the classics while she carried him, murmuring to her belly about what true music was, and he’d been ranting about artistic integrity and sonic evolution since before he could walk.

No matter what his story was, the facts were that your peers lived in terror of a bad Sylus Qin review—or any Sylus Qin review, really. He’d ruined so many careers, it was like he had a yearly quota.

And the prick had just given what you’d thought was your magnum opus the industry equivalent of a public hanging.

As frustrated tears well in your eyes, you take a look around the house you’d only just managed to buy—the cozy Gothic fireplace, the customized in-home studio, and the quaint little garden. It was all still so new to you. And just like that, you’d have to give it up soon.

You were wholly, utterly, and hopelessly fucked.

***

Death. You’d imagined it’d be…more peaceful. Less emotional devastation, more belated introspection.

But as you shift under the weighted blanket you’d rolled yourself up in, the sudden movement disturbing the heap of tear-stained tissues on top of you, you realize how much you hate being wrong.

Your life had officially been over for almost 22 hours. And in those hours, you’d stared at the wall, ignored 36 text messages, opened and immediately closed your socials countless times, and sobbed into your satin pillowcase.

As you roll away from the sliver of sunlight slipping through your curtains with a pained hiss, you hear the heavy footsteps climbing up your marble staircase.

Oh well, you shrug inwardly. Not like it can get any worse. If it’s an intruder, they can have at it. Put me out of my misery.

But as a familiar pattern of knocks precedes the door swinging open, allowing more light than you’d seen in the last day to flood the room, you realize that this may be a fate worse than brutal murder.

“You can’t answer your phone anymore or something?” the tenor voice of Devon, your beloved, overbearing manager cuts through the room.

“Go away,” you mumble, the sound muffled by the heavy blanket covering your mouth.

You hear an incredulous snort. “Go awa—Girl, get up,” he snaps, walking up to tug the blanket off of you. As he heaves it to the foot of the bed, the army of tissues scatters across the room like huge snowflakes of failure, and your jostled body ends up sprawled in an almost-perfect diagonal from the impact.

“I’ve been calling you all morning! And not only do you not pick up, but you block my number? You had me rushing over here to do a wellness check like you died or something.”

“Oh. Well,” you begin nonchalantly. “In case you haven’t heard, I did. Yesterday. And I’m finding it to be quite pleasant, actually,” you lie through your teeth and purse your lips, “so I’d like to continue being dead, please. Alone.”

“Yeah. Right,” he responds, mouth wedged open in a clearly annoyed grimace. “Okay, we do not have time for this, girl. You got a fan engagement livestream scheduled for this evening. You’ve never canceled a stream, not even when you lost your voice from that virus that one time. You really gonna let that man break your streak?”

At the mere reference to his existence, your face shrivels and you curl into a defensive ball. “Oh, what’s the point?” you wail, shoving your face into the mattress. “There will probably only be 4.7 viewers. And then the tabloids will be filled with news about how I’m talentless and unpopular.”

Devon closes his eyes, pinches the mahogany skin of his prominent nose, and releases a slow, controlled exhale.

“Okay,” he starts, visibly switching tactics. “If your own fans—you know, the people who made you famous—can’t get you out of bed, maybe this will.” He takes a deep breath, as if bracing for impact, before continuing. “I have it on good authority that Sylus Qin is doing a TV interview. Tonight.”

And in the middle of an agonized writhe, you freeze in place.

“He never does interviews,” you say lowly, voice suddenly hard enough to cut diamond. “He’s never done an interview, D. Stop bullshitting.”

“Dead serious,” he replies, shoving his too-bright phone in your still sideways face. And sure enough, mysterious critic act be damned, Sylus Qin’s name is in bright bold letters on the hottest talk show in the country’s latest social post.

Failing to suppress the anxious pang in your chest, you swallow thickly. “It’s…real. You weren’t….he’s actually going to…right after…he…” The world starts spinning as you trail off, and when the dry heaves start up on their own, you wonder if it’s possible to die twice.

“Chill! Girl, chill,” Devon yells, firmly sitting you up on the bed. “My contact in production said he’s not talking about his work. He’ll be there to announce something, so he shouldn’t mention you unless they ask.”

“Unless they ask,” you cry, slapping your palms to your face.

“Which they won’t,” he adds in unsuccessful reassurance. “I just figured it might wake you up a bit. You’ve never seen him before, right? Maybe some exposure therapy will help.”

Chewing your bottom lip hard enough to leave marks, you consider your options. You could either kick your manager out and wallow in bed until you get a foreclosure notice, or get up, grit your teeth through the livestream, and rush back to your bedroom afterwards to hate-watch Sylus on national television and pray he doesn’t speak your name.

Your conscience and the voice in your head confer, and it seems like your anxiety has beaten your depression this time. Second option it is.

II. THE INTERVIEW

After an excruciating hour of smiling blankly, avoiding talking about your album, and pretending not to see cruel comments, the stream is over.

It was time to stare Death in the face.

With 8 minutes to spare, you run up the stairs from the streaming setup in your studio and catapult into your walk-in closet, ripping your intricate work clothes off and diving into the comfiest loungewear you can find. If you were going to do this, you were going to do it comfortably.

3 minutes. You dim the lights and flip the TV on, having already set it to the right channel in a bout of paranoia hours ago. Your house is empty except for you, but you trot over to shut the door just in case. A potential humiliation ritual was a private affair.

And with 30 seconds to go, you unmute the TV and slowly climb onto your bed, sitting cross-legged and letting out the kind of breath you’d spent hundreds on mastering in pilates.

The cheery, inauthentic talk show theme fills your ears, and you lift your eyelids open in resolve.

A corny host intro. A brief band performance. And then, a tall white-haired man is strolling across your screen.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the illustrious Sylus Qin!

Your heart stops.

“Thank you, it’s my pleasure to be here,” a baritone purr rings out. Unnaturally deep voice, huh. They’d been right about one thing.

And then he sits on the smooth leather couch, turning his body to face the camera.

Sylus Qin is…young. Not some wrinkled up curmudgeon out to terrorize the youth in his bitter old age. By the looks of it, he hasn’t even reached his 40s yet.

Another observation. Sylus Qin is big. To be tall is one thing—not that special in a world of models doubling as singers—but this guy nearly swallows the sofa with his huge, obviously muscled frame. You wonder how he finds the time to work out between ruining lives.

And as you take in his chiseled appearance—certainly vampiric, you think—you realize with unprecedented dread: Sylus Qin is handsome.

“Mr. Qin,” the host begins, “we know this opportunity is extremely rare, so let me just say—it is our absolute honor to have you here during such a busy time for you.”

It’s an ambiguous reference, probably not even to his most recent work, but you flinch backwards anyway.

“Not a problem at all,” he drawls smoothly. “And just ‘Sylus’ is fine. I heard you all like to…have fun on this show.” He finishes the reply with a conspiratorial smirk, and you can all but see the women in the audience swoon at his despicable charm. “Like you said, this is a rare moment. You’re here to ask, and I’m here to answer. So, ask away.”

“Perfect,” the host starts. “So, Mr—ahem—Sylus, you’ve built your reputation through exclusive music correspondence for a variety of publications…”

***

As the minutes tick by and your hatred turns to intrigue, you start to really study the man in front of you. Learn his unique cadence, contemplate the angle of his aristocratic nose. Take in the way his ruby eyes glint when he talks about music, the way he sounds older than the age listed on his Wikipedia. And his IMDb. And his famousbirthdays.com. You’d triple-checked.

You note the way he smirks at difficult questions, as if welcoming the challenge and begging for something harder. The way he crosses and uncrosses his thick, long legs as he weaves his answers into an impromptu PR masterclass. The way he panders to the audience so subtly you’d think it natural—if not for the way his large palms open when he looks their way, as if luring them into his trap from the stage.

Fuck, he’s hot. And you can’t even try to pretend otherwise.

Until a particularly sore subject snaps you out of your ogling and draws you back into the conversation.

“Now, Sylus, you may be a critic, but you’ve received some criticism yourself lately for your ‘harsh and grating’ reviews, especially in the pop sphere. Some go as far as to claim you’re even biased against pop artists. What do you say to that?”

And Sylus Qin chuckles. The bastard chuckles. As if he actually finds it funny.

“I give albums and their creators the reviews they earn,” he says evenly. “I didn’t get to where I am today by handing out participation trophies.”

He’s doubling down. You can’t believe he’s doubling down.

“I’ve heard that some recent articles of mine have…ruffled some feathers. There’s never a shortage of angry fans in my inbox,” he shrugs. “But it’s my job to speak up when projects are…uninspired. You all get better music that way,” he quips, spreading his palms once more.

Uninspired. Uninspired. The word that’s flashed in your head nonstop for the past 36 hours. A failed ascent to the top of pop stardom reveals itself as little more than uninspired noise.

That was the exact quote he’d left in his scathing review of your album—you remembered. Because you’d read it—cried to it—over. And over. And over. And he’d just alluded to it with a smirk on his face, the crowd eating straight from his outstretched hands, in front of the entire country.

Ugly, uncontrollable shame heats your face as the all too familiar tears sting your eyes once more. As you search for the remote through blurry vision, your blood burns hotter than lava, and you curse yourself for letting your guard down. For seeing any redeeming qualities—even if only physical—in a man with his reputation. With his lack of empathy.

When your fingers close around the controller and you stumble off the bed, more than ready to click the TV off and return to the glorious rot-until-you-get-kicked-out plan, you freeze as Sylus speaks again.

“That said,” he continues, “I encourage any artists who’ve been offended by my commentary to come chat about it in person. That’s my reason for coming here, after all—to announce that I’ll be attending the annual Spirit Awards this year.”

Thumb hovering over the “off” button, you blink your tears away in disbelief. The Spirit Awards. You know that show. You know that show well. Because as thanks for your viral performance at last year’s event, you’d been invited to sing in the main performance slot.

You were going to headline. And Sylus Qin would be your audience.

As the interview ends and his figure fades to black with the next commercial, a sudden realization talks you down from the ledge.

This was your chance. To give the best damn show you’d ever put on, to reclaim the work whose meaning had been stolen from you. To sink his reputation, and to save yours.

Maybe it’s a good thing he looks the way he does, you think, a slow smile spreading across your increasingly mischievous face.

Because for the first time in almost two days, you’re confident. Confident that you’ll not only get him to change his mind, but that you’ll get him. Period.

Sylus Qin, we’ll see about that fucking 4.7 when I’m done with you.

III. THE PLAN

Bleary eyes. A full night of sleep lost. And three 12-ounce iced coffees delivered straight to your door.

But after eight and a half hours, Operation: Silence Sylus was a go.

After the interview, you’d set up a makeshift situation room in your studio. You’d hauled all your devices—phone, laptop, monitor, smart watch, you name it—into the space for backup. Anything that could find information, you needed. You’d have even dragged your smart microwave in here if you could figure out the wires.

But, all things considered, the setup had been the easy part. Because what came after was an informal case study on the most elusive man in history.

You’d started simple: his social media.

There was more to work with than you’d expected, but nothing too crazy. He had 2.6 million followers—a fraction of yours, you’d smirked, but still good for someone whose work is out of the spotlight.

His photos had no discernible aesthetic, as if he posted them straight from his camera roll. And his upload patterns…the lack of marketing was so severe it sent a shiver down your spine. The man posted a few times a year, if that, and the captions he did include were vague and simple. He’s lying about his age, you’d decided, because this guy is old as fuck.

But Sylus’s dire need for a social media manager was far from the most interesting thing you’d noticed. No, in all your 264 weeks’ worth of research—you’d scrolled until the app wouldn’t let you refresh anymore—not a single other person was featured on his feed. Like, there’d been more motorcycle pictures than humans on there. You’d have chalked it up to the narcissism typical of men like him, but he hardly even posted his own face.

And as shameful as it was to stalk the man who’d publicly humiliated you’s Instagram to see if he had a girlfriend, it was absolutely necessary. If the answer was yes, it’d put the whole plan in jeopardy! You were simply doing your job as a diligent creative, covering all your bases in advance. How would you seduce him into changing his mind about you if he had a fucking girlfriend? Or worse?

That would be your next stop, then, you’d nodded resolutely. His dating history.

But no matter how many articles you read; how many variations of Sylus Qin girlfriend, sylus Qin single, Sylus qin married, sylus qin Boyfriend you’d put in the search bar; how many viruses you’d probably gotten on your laptop from clicking through trashy tabloid sites; there was nothing. No photos, no reported sightings, hardly even a rumor. You’d typed in Sylus Qin asexual as a last resort, but that came back empty, too.

You’d sat in disbelief for a second, wondering how he could be so…clean. Even with his…glowing personality, his looks and success more than made up for any quirks. In this town, people should have been throwing themselves at him left and right, bogeyman allegations be damned.

But there was no mistaking it. As far as romance was concerned, the man was a blank slate.

Good thing you were coming for him with a big feather pen, ready to brand your name into his skin.

***

After analyzing his public image and making sure no…obstacles would block your path, it was time for a personality study. And where better to start than his full catalogue of reviews? His portfolio was practically front and center on his publication’s website—all 114 articles offered to you on a silver platter.

Almost immediately, you’d taken a nervous breath and hastily clicked past the most recent page. The abject horror of the 4.7 was still too fresh on your mind, and you’d be damned if tonight ended with a traumatic episode. So you’d landed on the second most recent page, starting with reviews from a couple months ago. And you’d read.

104 irritatingly confident articles. You’d read his praise, his disappointment, his bewilderment, his disgust. His beautifully packaged this-person-should-be-sent-to-prison-for-making-this-es. No matter how much you disagreed with some—most—of his takes, he was an incredible writer.

He tolerated jazz the most, it seemed. The smooth melodies, the warm embrace of the trumpet, trombone, and sax. It was so incredibly old. But it suited him.

“The riveting blend of brass and reed solos marks the triumphant rebirth of a fallen genre,” he’d complimented a band earlier this year. Looking at his preferences, it was no wonder why your synth-heavy pop beats seemed to have personally offended him.

But for all the things Sylus thought he knew about you, he was missing a few key items:

You were desperate. To win back the public, to win his approval, to win him.

You were planning a deluxe album with six new songs. And one of those songs said please fuck me disguised under a sensual trumpet solo.

You were desperate enough to release said album and perform said song a month early, solely to prove a point.

And with one screaming match of a phone call to Devon at 6 a.m., it’d been done.

You hadn’t coordinated with your dancers yet. Or told your label. Or informed the Spirit Awards producers that you’d be changing your set. But in your sleep-deprived, caffeine-jittered mind, it was all but confirmed. Your next performance would be dedicated to Sylus Qin.

There was only one more piece to put into place. With newfound conviction, you’d reopened his Instagram and clicked “Direct Message” before you could talk yourself out of it. And while you’d have liked to send him a colorful list of expletives, you maintained your professionalism.

Hi! I heard you’re going to the Spirits next Sunday. Hope you’re in the crowd for my performance—would love to chat after :)

The passive aggressive smiley face of doom. Sent and delivered.

His fate was sealed, but he didn’t know it yet.

Between excited bounces of your leg, you’d taken a final pass at his portfolio, and your eyes found your name before you could stop them.

“Deeming the music passable is more of a compliment than any listener should be willing to give. A failed ascent to the top of pop stardom reveals itself as little more than uninspired noise.”

Failed. Uninspired. Noise. There they were again, the insults seared into the back of your mind.

A reminder of your shame, but a motivator for you to make him eat his words.

IV. THE PREP

You’d always loved awards shows.

The buzz of energy backstage, the rushed glimpses of peers and legends, the flamboyant accessories and vibrant strips of fabric strewn across the floor. The kind of chaos you’d learned to thrive in.

After making the rounds of greetings and introductions, you take a break outside your dressing room in the main hall. Your stage outfit was already on and hidden under a frilly robe; you always liked to arrive early in case of any mishaps. (Lesson learned from the time you’d been fashionably late and had to go onstage in an unfashionable loose corset. That had slipped down mid-song.)

Chatting with your head dancer, you laugh at a video she shows you on her phone before spotting something in the corner of your eye: a flash of white hair.

Your body goes rigid.

But the lightning-quick twitch in your eye is forcing you to turn around, and your breath hitches as soon as you do.

Sylus Qin is here.

Just as he said he’d be, you suppose, but it’s no less surreal seeing the object of your warring emotions in the flesh.

Somehow, he’s taller than he looks on camera. Bigger, too. How someone whose job involved hunching over a laptop writing hate mail every day could be built like a professional athlete, you’d never know.

Black slacks are snug around his strong legs, and he’s paired them with a silken, wine-red shirt that you’re sure would match the color of his eyes if he’d just turn arou—

It’s like he heard you. Felt you.

Because before you can even finish your thought, Sylus Qin’s bewitching ruby eyes are on you.

When your jaw drops slightly, his lips curl. And as that lazy, taunting, I’m-better-than-you smirk spreads across his gorgeous face, it reignites the feelings that got you here. The hatred and humiliation and unyielding spite.

So with flames in your eyes, you pat the dancer on the back and give her a cheerful platitude before storming—no, sauntering, you should saunter—over.

When he bends his neck to accommodate your comparatively small stature, Sylus Qin watches you like you’re his favorite reality show.

“Sylus!” you squeal, pulling him into a side hug. One thing you’d learned in the industry: overfamiliarity was the best form of offense. “It’s so nice to see you here! I’m glad you could make it.”

You expect him to falter. To push away from you in a decidedly rude yet necessarily humanizing show of uncertainty. For that condescending smirk to waver in confusion, only a little.

But to your surprise, he simply wraps a very muscled arm around you and returns your embrace. He’d been trained well, you lament with an inward groan.

“It’s great to be here,” he says smoothly, and the way he rumbles your name makes you want to forego the performance entirely and beg him to take you here and now. “Especially since someone was nice enough to invite me to watch their performance. I get the opposite, usually—people typically fake illness when I watch them in person—so I just had to see this for myself,” he drawls.

At some point, he’d laid his warm hand on your robe-clad shoulder, rubbing up and down in time with his slow words. But like that wasn’t enough, you’d almost been too wrapped up in his heady scent to notice. In his teasing embrace, the smell of spice, leather, and a hint of pomegranate envelop you, and you have to school your expression to look like you aren’t huffing it in.

As you stare up at him blinking dumbly, you notice his smirk widen, and somewhere in the back of your head you remember that conversations are two-sided.

“Y-yes,” you try to assert, cursing the way your voice shakes with need. “It’s right up your alley. I think—I know you’ll like it.”

“You know, hm?” he quirks a brow, circling his thumb against your arm.

“I know. It’s a new song, much more to your liking. Think of it as…a tribute. To your glowing review of me,” you reply coldly, untangling yourself from his hold despite your body’s protests. If you had any chance tonight, you had to level the playing field. Which meant Sylus Qin could not touch you anymore.

“Mm,” he hums, eyes lingering on the spot you’d detached yourself from before flicking up to your face. “I reviewed your album, sweetie. Not you. Even so, nothing I said was untrue,” he shrugs as you bristle with rage. “But…if your performance is to my taste, as you claim, then you’ll know my review soon after. Before the end of the night, I’d say.”

His words are intentionally vague, as if he’s goading you into asking what he means. But under the heat of his gaze, you’re too prideful and angry and turned on to ask for clarification.

“Then I guess we’ll see, won’t we?” you challenge him with a saccharine smile.

He nods plainly, as if merely entertaining the idea of you ever impressing him. “I guess we will.”

That twitch in your eye? It’s back with a vengeance.

Before it can overtake your whole face, you spin on your heel and sashay away from him, pretending not to care if he watches you leave or not.

Refusing to stop before you’re out of his sight, you disappear into your dressing room and slump into the nearest chair. As the stylists flock over to put the last touches on your hair and makeup, you try not to chew your nails off and ruin your fresh manicure. Damn him, you think for the 300th time in a week.

***

In the center of the room, a monitor broadcasts the show’s live feed. The early portions go by in a blink—time flies when you have pre-seduction attempt anxiety, you guess—and before you know it, it’s 10 minutes to showtime.

As soon as you’re clear to set up on stage, you make a beeline for the curtain and pull it back ever so slightly, looking for Sylus in the crowd. And just to your luck, there he is, sitting pretty in the second fucking row. Great if you don’t mess up, catastrophic if you do.

Just as his all-knowing eyes shift toward the stage, as if he somehow felt your gaze from afar, you inch back into the inky shadows of the curtain.

Two minutes to go. Clenching your hands into fists, you squeeze your eyes shut and breathe.

It was time to channel the outrage, embarrassment, and devastatingly irritating lust into the performance of your life.

V. THE SHOW

The soft swells of a trumpet float through the hushed arena.

The player, first chair in a local jazz ensemble, sways gently to the beat, his dark skin glowing in the warm stage lights.

In time with the soulful melody, dozens of dancers fan out around the bar set, fiddling with prop bottles of fake booze. Your hours of research had pointed you in one direction: a speakeasy theme.

Perfect for a jazz intro, and seductive enough to get your point across without getting you banned from live television.

The outfit under your robe was a modern take on the 1920s: a bejeweled crimson flapper dress, sharp black stilettos, and a thick raven’s feather nestled in your hair.

Just like you’d practiced, you stumble onto the set, miming drunken confusion as you trip into a male dancer’s arms. You shoot him a flirtatious smile when he steadies you, only for your attention to be captured by the trumpet still crooning in the background.

Enraptured by the player, you glide across the stage to lean against him, standing back-to-back with your hands on your heart. The tassels on your dress flow in time with the sultry swirls of your hips.

A few more beats, and the intricate solo dwindles into the main riff that marks the true beginning of your set, to the audible gasps of the crowd. Look, you liked jazz as much as anyone—well, maybe not someone—but this was still your song. Your stage. And you were here to wake it up! As good as the player was, you had hypothetical sex to sing about.

So the trumpet fades out, replaced by a poppy trap beat. Between each drum hit, your female dancers crowd you, tearing off the edges of your dress until you’re left in a shimmering red bodysuit.

Strutting across the stage, you work through the lyrics of the first verse, eyeing the audience as you sing for someone special to come and take what he wants from you.

The way you prowl from edge to edge is suggestive, inviting. The screams of the fans drown out the sound in your earpiece, but the winks you give them are only for show. You’d decided a week ago that you’d be a bad idol tonight. You’d make up for it later—a giveaway, follow spree, or something—but tonight, your focus was reserved for one man.

As you ease into the chorus, your muscles glint under the twinkling lights, flexing in time with fluid spreads of your arms and gentle footwork. A siren song is what you’re singing, rhythmic pleas for a partner to make good on his promise falling from your lips.

The next verse brings a slowdown in the melody that you meet with sensual rolls of your hips. Twisting your frame, you slide a purposeful hand down to rest just above your pelvis, tangling the other in your hair.

The beat picks back up as you lead a line of men down the steps and into the audience, playfully evading their touches. It’s a calculated game of cat and mouse—one you’d hoped would pique the interest of the man you’d done this for. And as you parade right behind his row, boldly ghosting a hand over his shoulder in the dim crowd lighting, the tension in his muscles tells you you’d been right.

You can’t see his face, but the thought of him suffering right now is so satisfying, you have to fight to keep the vindictive smile off your face. Revitalized, you flounce back onstage right as the bridge melts into the final chorus—your favorite part of the show.

Because while you’d been working the crowd, the crew had lined up seven shiny motorcycles at the front of the stage. Six were for your dancers, of course, but the seventh? That one was special. You’d gone through hell to get that bike on time—the same luxury model that was plastered all over Sylus Qin’s Instagram. The seventh bike was yours.

Taking your place in the center, you swing a leg over the seat and lower your hips gracefully, snapping back into the final moves of the choreography.

With a daring raise of your eyebrow, you glance at his massive frame in the second row. He’s relaxed now, body no longer rigid with surprise. A bit too relaxed, you think, with the way his legs are spread apart, thumb swiping lazily across his smirking mouth. His gaze locks onto the familiar brand etched into the side of the bike before traveling up to yours, and the half a second of eye contact sends a shudder down your spine.

Between hazy, hopefully covert blinks, you hum out the last note of the song to thunderous applause. When you release your ending pose, waving to the sea of cheering faces, your eyes find his seat once more.

But Sylus Qin is gone.

VI. THE AFTERMATH

The moment you step backstage, a flood of congratulations greets you.

Dancers, friends, and strangers huddle all around you, whooping with joy at your undeniable triumph.

But between the friendly pats on your shoulders, sweaty hugs, and heaving breaths, you wonder if tonight can be called a success at all.

Hours and hours of mourning your young career. Of research that, in any other circumstance, probably would have gotten you on a watchlist. Of hard work, of pivoting, of betting your entire future on the hope that he’d break. And he’d just…left.

You were never one to stop a celebration early, but the burning pangs of defeat are too much to bear. With a tight smile and a flick of your card into the nearest hand—drinks are on you tonight—you trudge back to the solace of your dressing room.

And the scent of leather and spice hits you a second too late.

Because in all his wicked glory, Sylus Qin is in your empty dressing room, lounging in your chair like he owns the place.

Your initial reaction—a startled jump and a choked squeak—has his eyes sparkling in satisfaction, and you stalk up to the mirror with a scowl before you can embarrass yourself any further.

Feigning nonchalance, you remove your accessories one by one, starting with the feather in your hair. As you place it gently on the marble counter, a firm chest presses against your back, and you see his frame nearly swallow yours in the glass before you.

“If I were a bolder man, I’d think you were trying to send me a message just now,” he purrs into your ear.

Glancing at his reflection, you shrug noncommittally. “Did you like it?”

You receive a soft hum in response.

As you continue your act with trembling hands, Sylus cages you against the hard edge of the counter, admiring the remaining pieces of your costume with light, teasing touches.

Once you make no effort to stop him, a large hand rises to close loosely around your throat. When his thumb brushes your bottom lip, you bite it hard enough to sting, and his deep chuckle worsens the throbbing between your legs.

“I’m enough of a man to admit when I’m wrong. I underestimated you, it seems.” The low admission sends blood rushing through your ears, and you lean into him with a quiet gasp. “You have me right where you want me now, right? Then tell me—how did you come up with your little stunt?”

Tense seconds tick by as you debate your options. How humiliating it’d be to come clean in his arms. But then again, humiliated had been your main emotion as of late. With a deep exhale and slight tuck of your head, you begin your confession.

“I just wanted you to change your mind,” you whisper, watching as he unravels the satin ribbons on your bodysuit.

“I was so proud of that album, Sylus. Took me months to feel good enough to release it. And then I wake up to see the most respected voice in music calling it worthless.”

Your voice wobbles at the mention of his review, and his fingers freeze on the lowest ribbon.

“I thought my career was over. That’s what you do, right?” you ask, eyes flashing up at him. “Ruin people like me.”

Checking your teary gaze in the mirror, he has the decency to press a kiss to the skin between your neck and shoulder.

“My manager had to do a wellness check,” you add with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I could barely get out of bed. But then he told me…I’d have a chance to see you that night. And I guess the anxiety of impending doom was enough of a motivator. So I got up, and I watched.”

As your voice steadies, it grants him permission to undo the final ribbon. It loosens with a firm tug, and the slackened fabric sags around your body, waiting to be removed entirely.

“I really did want to change your mind. To prove myself to you. But then I saw that stupid fucking interview…saw you for the first time, and I…”

“You what, sweetie?” he murmurs into your neck, spurring you on with a gentle kiss.

“I wanted you, too.”

As he sucks in a breath, you take the moment to step out of your costume, tossing it to the floor below. You’re nearly bare before him, now, save for the thin tights and thong still blocking you from his sight.

“That’s what all this was for,” you reveal, gesturing to the fallen fabric. “I wanted your attention—all of it—in any way I could get it. So you were right. I wanted to end up right here, with you.”

For several seconds, his labored sighs are the only sounds in the room. You, unfortunately, are too afraid to breathe. But before long, warm hands grasp your hips, pulling you flush against his hardened lower half.

Catching your ear between sharp teeth, he floods your senses with a smooth whisper. “It seems you got what you wanted, then. Why don’t I tell you what I thought?”

And the second the “please” escapes your lips, he tears the thin layers left on your hips clean off your body.

He uses your shock to his advantage, taking the chance to free his swollen cock and glide it across your slit, teasing your clenching hole with the pulsing length. When he’s coated in your wetness, he surges into you with a firm thrust, groaning at the squeeze of your fluttering walls.

Allowing you a moment to adjust to the stretch, he gropes the fat of your hip before continuing.

“You obviously did your research,” he rumbles, pumping in and out of you at a steady tempo. “Speakeasies were the home of jazz, for a time.”

As the curve of his tip hits deep inside you, you wish you’d gotten a look at him. You’d expected him to be big, if the rest of his body was any indication, but the sheer fullness in your core feels like it should be illegal.

“And the arrangement…paying homage with a modern twist. It was admirable. Bold,” he grits out, hissing as your cunt tightens at the compliment.

Locking eyes with him in the mirror, you meet his thrusts with a high-pitched whine, asking for more—more pressure, more praise, more of all he could give.

With a patronizing tsk, Sylus grips your jaw in one hand, pulling your face close to his. “How many ratings of mine did you read to pull this off? I wouldn't think you knew what real instruments were, based on that album.”

The barb snaps you out of docility, and you try to twist away from him with a sneer and grumble. But Sylus only pulls you back into his quickening strokes, a fond, terrorizing chuckle enveloping you.

“Don’t run, sweetie. I’m flattered, really. Like I was when you got on that bike—my bike—and I wanted to pull you down from that stage,” he breathes, circling two fingers around your throbbing clit. “Because I knew in that moment, you were mine.”

As his claim rings through the air, he pinches your sensitive flesh and ups his pace, kissing your cervix with brutal strokes as the lewd slaps of skin on skin echo around you. Shaky breaths and soft whimpers leave your mouth, and you rut back into him as much as his firm grip on your hips allows.

“This was all for me, hm? For my attention, you said? Now you have it,” he murmurs huskily, and a sharp scratch of teeth against the pulse in your throat has you spilling over the edge with a desperate moan.

Somewhere in the haze of your orgasm, he pulls out with a groan of his own, leaving you empty and shivering until you feel his warm release coat the curve of your back.

With the last of his strength, he turns your face to his and captures your lips in a heated kiss, your tongues tangling unhurriedly. You’re forced to pull away first, already more than drained of your stamina for the night. When you slump forward in exhaustion, he falls into you, folding you over the counter with his heavy weight.

You groan at the impact but welcome the soothing pressure, and for a while, your heaving exhales mingle in the quiet of the room.

Once his breathing evens out, his low drawl—raspier than usual—eclipses the silence. “So,” he begins, and you can tell he’s smirking above you without even seeing his face. “How would you rate my performance tonight?”

Too tired to scoff, you settle for a mocking hum. “Hmm…an 8. I’d say a 9, but you just lost a point for that line,” you smile softly. “The pacing was good, but the feeling was lacking. It felt a little…uninspired.”

VII. THE EPILOGUE

You can’t feel your limbs the next morning.

You can’t feel your limbs, but your phone is ringing—has been for a few minutes now, you think groggily.

With a pained grunt, you roll over and over in bed until the screen is within reach and put the call on speaker.

“Check your texts!” Devon yells excitedly, damn near blasting your ears off.

“What? What are you talking about?” you grumble. “And you know not to wake me up until at least 4 p.m. after a show.”

“Sure, girl, fire me if you want. Just check your texts!” he repeats, voice climbing to a near screech.

“Fine, just give me a—”

Your jaw drops. It has no choice but to drop.

Because sitting in your inbox, right there at the top, is an updated link to Sylus Qin’s review of your album.

And right there, where that dreaded 4.7 had stared you down, is a giant, boldface 8.

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