#They try to help but phil doesnt want to see them bc hes been completely betrayed and abandoned by all of them

[cosmic-d1ce]

I have so many thoughts about q!Forever somehow managing to capture and chain the paranoid, incredibly-skilled q!Phil, and yet by the time Chayanne and everyone else find him he is a traumatized, possibly scarred shadow of who he once was. Them and him wondering if anything will go back to how it was before, or at least to the level of feeling sometimes completely relaxed and wholeheartedly happy again... The hurt/comfort, whump, and ptsd possibilities I can feel emanating from this au/divergence is huge and I must thank you for providing some content for it.

literally just getting caught in the first place would destroy him its wonderful

Phil is very strong, very skilled, very good at getting out of trouble, but that means nothing when he's chained up in this yandere's basement

And nobody came to help

After everything he's done for them, not a single person will listen, nobody tries to help, nobody does anything

And by the time they do, its already far too late and theyre never going to get Phil to be the way he was before

[bonesandthebees]

ch 5 is so good in showing crimeboys' opinions of each other through how that changes in this chapter

wilbur judges tommy with the standards he and niki with q, the throne candidates, were held up too and its frustrating to him that tommy can act more childish and still be considered at the heir

and its not that wilbur doesnt know, that tommy is unaware of the reason of his stay in pandorinne, to me it seems like hes almost looking for a reason to be critical of tommy (not that tommy makes that hard) bc niki (and he) and even quackity have been working hard to be good candidates for the throne and now tommy gets to just join in

also tommy insulting wilbur and phil forcing wil to spend more time with him isnt helping that

what wilbur fails to realise, that while tommy is still royalty, the manners standards arent the only different thing about tommys upbringing

as could be seen at the market, but even before, with tubbo, jack and even puffy, tommy is much less detached from servants and other people in the kingdom, where the people in the castle, while not necessarily evil, are very secluded in the castle and detached from the common people, even tho many make important decisions about their lives

and we get to see tommy disprove this prejudice in wilbur

and wilbur also learns that tommy isnt completely stupid in terms of strategy

now what is more interesting to me is how tommy sees wilbur

taking it from the start, while tommy recognises that wilbur doesnt like him all too much, for tommy hes the first new person he talks with in a less formal setting, wilbur doesnt scold him for cursing and generally they managed to have a chill pretty casual conversation before wilbur got pissy about tommy insulting him

and even after that wilbur will slip into banter with tommy (I love their urge to keep insulting each other lol), tommy doesnt know wilbur is kinda being forced to hang out with him on all the occasions they do so he quickly becomes a familiar person

theres never any punishment for what he says to wilbur, apart from wilbur himself and even niki encourages his making fun of wilbur

also I dont think tommy really realises the status imbalance between them

they did have the talk about wilbur not official having any status, but tommy doesnt see himself as anything more than wilbur

so to tommy wilbur is a stuck up guy who acts like the adults in criticising basically everything tommy does, but also he will go and insult tommy back and he keeps spending time with him (unknowingly to tommy very unwillingly) so I dont think tommy actually hates wilbur, he just enjoys making fun of him and knows he can afford it

as someone who spends a lot of time with boys rose!tommys age (scouting, also its not like im that much older) i adore how accurately he acts

any touristic tips if I want to visit pandorinne?

I love the city so much, the canals system sounds super sick and I absolutely adore markets they just have such a cool atmosphere

yeah the thing is wilbur understands that it's not exactly tommy's fault he's acting the way he is, because he isn't even aware of the position he's in. but it's still frustrating to witness. it's frustrating to listen to sam and phil both consider tommy a viable heir when tommy isn't even trying to get their approval, unlike what quackity and niki have gone through their entire childhoods.

but yes what's more interesting is the difference in upbringing between the pandorinne trio (quackity niki wilbur) and tommy. although valbroek is a fairly wealthy city and tommy still lived a very lavish noble lifestyle, he had a lot more freedom there than he has in pandorinne. he was able to go out on his own and interact with the people of his city. he's seen their struggles firsthand. his people aren't just theoreticals to him, they all have faces. which contrasts with quackity, niki, and wilbur who were rarely allowed to leave the palace without armed escorts growing up. and along with that, while tommy goofs off, he's not completely stupid when it comes to strategy. he's just untrained.

meanwhile, yes, tommy can definitely recognize that wilbur doesn't like him all that much but he thinks it's more of a game than it actually is. he thinks that the bickering is something they both enjoy. while he obviously knows his relationship with wilbur is nothing like his relationship with tubbo, there's the familiarity of a friendship where the two of you just insult each other all the time and pretend you can't stand each other when you're actually close. and the fact that wilbur keeps playing into the bickering, and there's never any punishment for what he says to wilbur like you pointed out, only affirms this belief.

not only does tommy not see himself as better than wilbur, he actually looks up to wilbur. it's not obvious and he's not even that aware of it himself, but wilbur is the son of the Consil. he's older than tommy and seems to know so much about what's going on in the palace, but he's less intimidating than niki and quackity since they're the potential heirs. tommy would rather die than admit it, but yknow when you have a 12-13 year old who interacts with a 17-18 year old and they think the older teen is so cool? yeah, that's tommy with wilbur.

lol I'm glad tommy is an accurate 13 year old boy. I did no research for how to write 13 year old boys I'm just going off of how tommy acted in the early days of dsmp along with my own distant memories of being in middle school

I'm glad you like the city!! Hmm tourist tips for Pandorinne... well the Lavender Market is one of the best parts of the city, as Wilbur told Tommy in that chapter. Canals are mainly used for the transport of goods and supplies, but later in the evenings you might find a man with a small boat willing to give you a scenic ride, if you have the right coin of course. There's also a few temples dedicated to the different gods littered throughout the city, which are always worth visiting to get a blessing or two. And make sure to go down to the docks directly to get fish so fresh it's practically still blinking! Of course, you can't miss the cookshops. If you bring your own meat or fish, they'll cook it up for you for a fraction of the cost you'd pay if you didn't provide they ingredients. They can even bake it in some pastry dough for a savory pie if you request it! Wealthier nobles tend to avoid cookshops though, since there's not a lot of heavy regulation on food distribution in the city...

[pentollwhaaat]

Okay, so, about today's Dream smp stream (Lore wise)

aka my thoughts and shouting at stuff

Ranboo and Philza already having family conversations and the fact that Philza didn't even hesitate to bring Ranboo with him to resurrect Wilbur

Eret making the entire shrine, thinking back about the past and actually showing how he changed and how much he wants to help

Ghostbur being afraid to die. (Aka jesus christ Wilbur Soot, every shouting before Philza stabbed you was way too realistic and hurt me)

Okay no, but seriously, Ghostbur in that fact is the complete opposite of Wilbur: they never had a chance to reenact him dying. Ghostbur said it himself: he remembers Philza killing him because he was Happy. Ghostbur has been saying it for so long that he is afraid to lose himself. To let Ghostbur gone.

Glatt... Just... I remember I had people saying "it wouldn't happen bc it's so hard to make it so that the other person knows when to speak and how to use one character" but of course... OF COURSE it would be Wilbur Soot and Jschlatt themselves who would try anyways. And Schlatt came back how anyone should have expected

Tommy's reaction: okay, first of all, he didn't really talk to Philza. I don't know if that was intentional or accidental but I could feel that slight tension between them, but they still came together, Tommy still walked up to them bc of course, its Wilbur, both of them want to help their own family

Tommy reaction 2: I cannot tell how much i look up to that boy for acting with his breathing. Its fucking hard to use our breathing for dramatic effect, especially with just voice and he fucking nailed it. You could tell he was pained for seeing his brother die and then thinking that maybe, what they are doing is wrong. He is finally thinking about the future consequences. Also, it was such a nice touch that he left without a word as soon as Phil said Techno is the only one who has a totem and they might have to ask him

About Techno, he wasn't here long, it was just a little lore, but my God, the way he mentioned that he noticed Ranboo is living with them now....my god I love how calm and easily said it was. I feel like thats exactly what Ranboo needed to hear

About Fundy: okay, yes, people, the fox has suffered. I get it. But my God, Phil literally disowned him after trying to kill Techno. And then Ranboo told him he doesnt trust him. Who do you think Phil will side with? But, on the bright side, his normal skin is back, so maybe, either he is not affected by the Egg anymore, or he is just hiding it. Which is worse.

(Btw did you notice that the whole family was there, if we dont follow the sleepy bois Headcanon? Like....everyone who is part of the family or adopted or adopted a member, was there)

And finally: Eret again. because yes. Yes. Just yes. The fact that he took off his crown for Phil and Ranboo but not for Dream... the fact that he is genuinely thinking about the power and authority he has, how useless it is but he will use it while he can help and then just leave it. The fact that he has one of the nicest and best made redemption arcs....amazing

Bonus:

I love how, just by being around Phil, people turn to Killza mode and burn shit down. That's what I expected when Philza joined but you love to see it.

Also, my God, Tubbo is a gremlin

[skaldish]

Heya! I‘ve spent my morning reading through your website and low-key your blog here and wanted to say that the way you describe Loki feels so weirdly familiar? like him being your Mad Muse resonated in a way with my experience as an artist that is somewhat similar to yours which got me thinking. some ideas or concepts come seemingly out of nowhere and get stuck until i get them out and many of them are to do with the human condition but also gender and living the true self kinda? but more like these characters feel actually alive and thus not wanting me as an author or painter to control them but to observe and conserve these observations. it often feels like a swirling mass of chaos in my mind with me racing behind trying to grasp what i see/feel (its all really vague and words are more feelings of the essence of whats said.)

If i understand correctly You often make a distinction between chaos and his trickery (i am so sorry in advance for possible weird-wording things, or completely misunderstandig you >.< english is my 2nd language) and for me personally, i delight in chaos and trickery, though not in a hurting others way, more in a good hearted fun for the shits and giggles kind? but i love chaos in the way i love a symbol, since chaos for me means change in a rather radical way but without any judgement. Things change and get chaotic but chaos itself feels more like possibility?

I have a bonus Loki-Story for you: one time he (i assume) probably annoyed a busdriver with a red light and i caught my bus after asking any god willing to help me catch that bus (it was urgent lol). I was so out of breath but the second i could breathe properly again i asked who to thank for the red light and i kid you not, i drove by a wall with a graffiti that simply said: Loki. made me chuckle ugly but i gave him the best part of my steak never the less, gotta say thanks!

There have been several of these happenings with other gods (Thor and Odin mainly but i caught a whiff of freya once while baking i think?) so now im at the point where i feel i should finally listen. Though i know nothing about working with the gods or magic ive always felt a pull to runes and even got an engraving set to make some myself.

After reading your introduction about deity work i kinda confirmed what i thought regarding knowing the basics of magic (mainly i wont use runes or magic until i know how to do it safely with warding and shielding, which brings me to my question:

Do you have any open source or freely online available sources for learning the basics of magic and getting familiar with deity work? (possibly even for absolute total beginners who boarder on dumb - hello adhd) Like how to shield/ward yourself and your house and how to cleanse. Same with sharpening the clairsenses. It sounds kind of easy when reading but when i try to actually do that i feel helpless and dont know where to start or what to do :(

I often see these things stated (on your page and in the asks you answer but also on any site regarding these topics as well.Saw this also on sunnyway when tring to read up on runes) but never really explained in a way thats friendly for beginners, and when i try googling (i am chronically out of moneys so i guess that has to do with it) all that comes up is wicca related stuff that makes me feel icky (the norse gods are generally the only pantheon and norse religion mostly the only religion that doesnt feel icky to me but that might be my catholic upbringing? the norse gods feel so healingly friend-shaped that it spooked me for years but im staring to fall in love with that. i do get its not always like that but having a kind of mutually respectful relationship with the gods is kind of all i wanted when i grew up). Im also too new i guess to be able to discern between norse practicioners and white supremacists and dont want to end up on a nazi page and learning from them :/ (Here in germany i mostly saw nazis and white supremacists wearing norse symbols which i guess kept my spanish-libanese-migrant ass away from norse paganism for so long bc i thought theyre the only ones who practice it and i really do not like the fuckers)

Thank you in advance if you decide to answer this! (And i apologize for the sheer length of this ask!!)

Sorry this took me so long to get back! If I’m not mistaken, you’re basically asking how to move from “theory” to “practical application” with paganism, magic, and spirit/deity work.

I had to sit with this for a while because I couldn’t think of an easy answer to your question, and maybe an easy answer simply doesn’t exist. For me, everything I know and everything I believe in was built upon a combination of a few things:

Introducing myself to different branches of magical theory and trying different things, even stuff that wasn’t Norse.

Familiarizing myself with MANY different spiritual and religious practices; how they work, their ethos, their worldviews, their metaphysical philosophies, and how they differ from one another.

Finding a reputable community of actual advanced pagan practitioners who gave me the tools I needed to rely on myself and helped me troubleshoot specific things.

Identifying how my clairsenses and magical tendencies manifest and working them out like a muscle, using Tarot to help confirm or refute my interpretations of experiences.

Learning to trust myself and my judgements.

Learning what bad communities look like.

Learning what Nazi-coded language looks like.

Learning what healthy relationships look like.

Trying things and learning from both my mistakes and successes.

This stuff takes months to identify and years to cultivate, and honestly the only way to do figure it out is to expose yourself to it.

One resource I started with that IS free would be Oven-Ready Chaos by Phil Hine. This is a PDF you can google and download that introduces you to the basics of Chaos Magic. Even if you’re not a chaos magician, it provides some good metaphysical philosophies that can be applied to basically any eclectic practice. This book was also the first time magic was presented to me in a way that made a damn lick of sense.

But that’s all I really have for you, unfortunately. Someday I hope to write more about this process of magical/pagan development, but I’m not at the point where I know enough about it to do so.

[sociallyawkward--fics]

heyy xy its been a while again idk how long i wanted to send smth earlier but my brain wouldnt let me so:// im kinda Going Through It rn tho& surprise its abt my romanticality again but this time it has nothing to do w a crush. its ,, i was wondering how romantic attraction felt so i did a question thread on twitter but the answers ,, were all stuff ive felt ?? &i think maybe ive been thinking of romantic attraction wrong this whole time but ?? how do i know ?? -H (it is. frustrating)

its like ,, i love the idea of cuddling& holding hands& hugging& yes that could be platonic but ,, ive never kissed anyone but i think it could be smth i enjoy& maybe even smth i want but it wasnt ever anything i thought abt until now ,, recently ive kinda been wanting to date someone nonromantically ?? but how do i tell if the way i want it is romantically or not ?? romantic attraction is just a thing u feel right u dont get to decide whether or not its romantic attraction it just is right?? -H

&i have gotten my own version of crushes but its always ,, i just rly want to be their friend or in extreme cases just ,, like me the way i like them, like liking me best ig ?? but maybe i have wanted to date them& just didnt realize it ?? when i get crushes i think of them a lot& want to be around them& i get butterflies& all the things ppl say they get with romantic attraction. but then ill ask myself if its romantic& i just feel like No. It's not ??? -H

romantic attraction always just felt so ,, other ?? so even now that i realize what i want is what ppl who feel romantic attraction want it just doesnt feel right ?? ive never kissed anyone& ive never dated& maybe if i did those things id know ?? &sometimes ill wish i had a partner but like in a queerplatonic way i think ?? i just want to do traditionally romantic stuff but ,, without it being romantic ?? but thats not how it works is it ?? -H

like if u feel& want all the things that comes with romantic attraction then that means u experience them romantically ?? maybe ?? i cant wrap my head around wanting all those things but not romantically ?? bc romantic attraction is defined as wanting things like dating& kissing& cuddling - not some other alien feeling i thought so ?? maybe im greyromantic or lithromatic or bellusromantic but ?? how do i know ?? -H

maybe im just too young to completely know how i feel ?? maybe if i dated someone or kissed them id know ?? &i kinda rly want to do those things just to know how id feel bc im tired of not knowing im already confused abt my gender identity if i dont know my romanticality what do i know ?? -H

lmao so im over my crisis nvm -H

i dont remember exactly what i was saying but theres a difference between wanting those things& like ,, wanting them from a person yknow maybe i want to be kissed but only theoretically bc who do i want to kiss me then ?? any strong feelings usually fade when i get to know the person so. also apparently romantic attraction is Not just wanting those things apparently theres supposed to be a feeling that comes with it idk -H

help i found u on tiktok while looking through aroace tiktoks skjdjk i saw u& i was like xy ?!?!! u exist in places outside of tumblr ?!?!??! unbelievable -H

i saw ur undertale hcs tiktok& i highkey panicked bc ive been hyperfixating on undertale for like ,, a month now, so it was my 2 favorite things : aspec hcs& undertale. personally i see papyrus as aroace bc of his whole speech after ur date with him& its like ,, a v v important hc to me bc hes the only character ive ever felt i had representation in sjdhfks idk hes like my comfort character now -H 

aahhh but yea ive been hyperfixating on undertale so badly but :/ we lost our switch :/ so i couldnt play :/// i had to resort to watching playthroughs on yt. i have watched dan& phils playthrough 3 times& i am going on a 4th. luckily we did find our switch !! &i cant wait until i get papyrus' phone number so i can go through every room& call him& then befriend undyne& go through all the rooms& call him again to see if the responses have changed -H

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I’m So Sorry it took me literally like 2 months to answer these, I promise i wasn’t ignoring you, I just have Stupid Brain!!

Imma be honest with you, romantic attraction is so confusing, and I can’t say I understand it myself. Also, that’s totally how it works. You can do romantically-coded actions with a queerplatonic partner and not have it be romantic at all. Sure, kissing and dating and cuddling are romantically-coded, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship to do them; doing those things in a queerplatonic sense and not having any romantic emotions in it is totally valid. You can want all these things and still not have/experience romantic attraction. Take all the time you need to figure it out, though. I may tell everyone I’m grayro, but for sure that does not mean that I have it all figured out. I just say that because it’s the closest to whatever confusing feelings I’ve had lol. It takes time to work these things out, just do what feels right for you. You don’t need to force yourself into a romantic situation just to try and see if you’re aro. Honestly, to me? Nothing you’ve described seems inherently romantic. That all seems like it’s queerplatonic or just platonic.

Lol, yes I exist in places outside of tumblr on occasion. Tbh, since we all know I have no time-management skills, tiktok is a little bit why I’ve been so absent around here lately lol. I was focusing a lot on building my account and content there, but I really miss everyone over here and i miss writing my fanfics so I am Back and I’m gonna try and split my time better, now! Undertale is such a valid thing to fixate on, and Paps is such a valid comfort character. Aroace Paps is so valid, I only said grayroace Paps because 1) brain said “make him you” lol and 2) sometimes I think Papyrus/Mettaton can be cute if done right. And yeah, it’s so fun going through the rooms and just calling them lol