#They really kinda popped off tonight ngl

[troubledtrekkie]

Y’all this might be the best SNL episode I’ve seen in a looong time

[xxsabitoxx]

I want a baby

<Tengen x Fem! Reader Drabble>

Warnings: unprotected sex, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, creampie with the intent of getting reader pregnant. Reader is female and wants to have a baby so if that makes you uncomfy don’t read lol

A/N: unintentionally got carried away with this one ngl. Kinda funny tho cause I was initially struggling to figure out what I wanted the premise to be for this Drabble and now here we are.

Word Count: 2k

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Moonlight was filtering into the room through your open window, a cool breeze brushing your skin. The warmth of the man beside you created a stark contrast between the two sensations. Tengen himself was a walking furnace no matter the time of year. It was part of the reason you always slept with the window open. Well that and the fact that three other bodies were usually accompanying you. Tonight, however, was different.

Makio, Hina and Suma had gone away for a girls weekend. The only reason you didn’t go was because of a last minute mission you had been tasked with. They offered to wait for you, but you were adamant on them going as a trio. You had only convinced them by sharing your plans. This was the weekend you were finally going to tell Tengen of your wish. The very wish you and your co-wives had discussed quite frequently.

You wanted a baby.

“Ya know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” It helped that you couldn’t see his face at the moment, you were certain you’d crumble and become too nervous to bring up the idea. “That so? I’m all ears.” He teased softly, the mood of your conversation had been a lot of cheeky comments and playful banter. Dropping what you felt like was a bomb could potentially ruin the mood. Then again, it was nearly impossible to piss Tengen off.

“Well, Makio, Suma, Hina and I have been discussing this for a long while now…” you started, hand coming up to play with his large fingers. A clear sign to Tengen that you were nervous. “Okay, if it helps… I think I know where you’re going with this.” Tengen wasn’t dense when it came to you or your co-wives desires, he figured it was only a matter of time before one of you popped the question.“Well… if you think you know, I guess there is no reason for me to stall.”

You laughed softly, not able to ignore the pounding in your chest. “At least look at me before you tell me.” The tone in his voice was softer than you had ever heard it, making it just as hard to deny. So, you sat yourself up, moving to straddle your husband’s waist with a warm flush on your face. You balanced by placing your hands on his chest, smiling when his own came up to hold your waist. There was a relaxed smile on his handsome face, one that gave you the courage to say what you were holding in.

“Tengen… I want to have a baby.”

The smile on his face was nothing short of dazzling. “I thought you’d never ask.” You froze, for some reason you hadn’t expected him to agree so easily. Yet, at the same time you couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t. “Wait… really?” You blinked a couple times, the butterflies in your stomach turning into a frenzy. “Yes, really. I’ve been waiting for one of you to come to me with the question. Though I must say, I’m not surprised it was you.”

“Why’s that?” You adjusted your hips, a devious glint in your eyes. “Those three would do anything to get you to leave the corps.” And then it clicked, laughter bubbles in your chest as you fell forward to crush your lips to his. “Me too, for that matter. If I get you pregnant you need to promise me you’ll leave the corps.” This time, he kissed you, hands coming up to hold your face. “And not just while you’re pregnant and not until our baby is old enough to be without you. If I get you pregnant, you leave the corps for good.”

Your lips were centimetres apart as he spoke, your breath mingling. Part of you yearned to defy him, you wanted to stay in the corps and find a way to achieve the very reason you joined. Yet, the promise of a baby, the promise of a family… the promise of a normal life. It was outweighing your desire for revenge. “Deal. Get my pregnant and I promise you, I’ll leave the corps.” That same smile returned, Tengen took the initiative and flipped the two of you over. “Best way is missionary… though it’s a bit boring.”

“Oh—“ you felt warm and not just because of the hands pulling your clothes off of you. “Nothing is boring if it’s with you, Tengen.” You laughed as he threw the little clothes he had on, off the side of the bed. “Mmm that’s true, I do know how to make things flashy.” He was hovering just over your breasts as he spoke, finishing his statement with a long lick up your sternum. “You’ll look beautiful pregnant. Breasts swollen… everyone will know you’re mine… fuck never mind beautiful you’ll look ethereal.”

“You’re getting so far ahead of yourself.” Though, that statement fell on practically deaf ears. Tengen was too busy littering your chest and neck in bruises. Something Hinatsuru would certainly tease you about when they returned. For once in his life, the man couldn’t find the self restraint to take things slow. He wanted… no he needed to be inside of you. Now… if not sooner… hell at this point he was sure he should have been inside of you two minutes ago. “You’re so eager.”

It was breathless, not only was it rare for you and Tengen to have one on one time, it was rare for him to lose his composure in such a way. “Can’t help it…” was all he gave you, voice gruff as he moved himself lower, fingers reaching down to spread apart your folds. “You’re already so wet…” but he was also far too big to not prep you at least a little bit. “Can’t help it…” you mimicked him, a ghost of a smile on your face as you watched him observe your cunt.

“I-I can take it. Tengen if you’re that eager, trust me I can take it.” You knew him well enough to know he was going through an internal battle. Torn between going in with no prep and fingering you open just enough to get used to his girth. After nearly three years of marriage you think he’d know by now that you could handle him. “I don’t want to hurt you.” It was a soft murmur, even as he spoke he was collecting your arousal and gingerly pushing two fingers inside.

You gasped at the intrusion, hips jerking into his touch as he buried himself inside of you. “Y-you won’t hurt me.” It was meeker than you wanted it to be, mostly because he was curling his fingers exactly how you liked it. Gingerly he added a third, giving you a moment to adjust before repeating his previous menstruations. “Just give me a few moments, okay?” He continued pumping his fingers, watching as the crease in your brow melted away.

That’s when he knew the initial discomfort turned into pleasure. Tengen knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes, your body was like a never ending symphony that he had memorized every single note of. He could read you as easily as sheet music, never once making a mistake as he played it. “C’mon…Tengen please, that's enough.” Your walls were fluttering around his fingers. He must have trailed off while staring at you, his hand was slick with your arousal, your eyes filled with need.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to keep you waiting…” he chuckled softly, pulling his fingers out of you and using your own arousal as lubricant for himself. You wanted to touch him, but at this point you just may shatter if you prolonged this any further. Instead, you watched him spread your juices and his own precum over his entire length, a shaky sigh leaving him as some relief was bestowed on his aching cock. “Tell me how bad you want this.” There was a hoarseness to his tone, his own eyes mirroring the desire that must have been shining in your own.

“H-huh?” You blinked, slightly pulled from your daze. “Tell me how bad you want this… how bad do you want me to put a baby in you?” Suddenly it felt like your mouth was full of cotton. Your legs spread just a bit wider, coming up to hook around his waist. “So bad…Tengen I’ve been thinking about it for months. I want you to get me pregnant so badly.” You swallowed, body feeling hot all over as you confessed. “Yeah? That badly? You’ve been thinking about this for months? Every time we fuck, hmm?” You nodded, face burning up as your hips shimmied to try and reach him.

“Yes…months. So please stop teasing me…” it was hard to deny you when you put it like that. Tengen aligned himself easily, pushing in as slowly as he could manage. His hands trembled with anticipation, coming down to hold your thighs and pull you up against him. “Gimme the pillow.” He motioned to his own, watching your head tilt to the side and reach for it with equally as shaky hands. He took it from you, slotting it under your hips to give you better leverage and more comfort. “There we go, pretty girl.” He smiled, white hair framing his face.

“You…you’re so pretty, Tengen.” The compliment had him turning pink, eyes shutting as he laughed softly. He bottomed out a second later, willing his hips to stay still as you adjusted. “Move already…please.” Your fingers were digging into the sheets, walls clenching around him over and over. Tengen clicked his tongue, laughing again as he spoke. “So eager…” he was pulling out as he spoke, slamming his hips back once he got half way. He built a steady rhythm, angling your hips in such a way that he was brushing your cervix with each pass.

An achingly beautiful symphony left your lips, edging him on as he whispered never ending praise. Things like how beautiful you were, how you’d look so cute pregnant, how you’d make an amazing mother. If anything, it was edging alone as well, cock pulsating with the need to fill you up until there was no possible way you wouldn’t get pregnant by the time he was done. “Tengen…fuck…” you said his name over and over, mixed between various profanities. Your clit was throbbing with need, desperately wanting attention as you felt the familiar tension in your gut.

Tengen, ever in tune with your body, reaches down to begin rubbing quick circles with his thumb. “C’mon, pretty. Cum for me…milk me dry.” Sweat was shining along his forehead, years of endurance training allowed him the ability to move the way he was. “Gonna cum… gonna….” The words died on your lips as your orgasm crashed down around you, warmth spreading through your whole body as Tengen worked you through it. “Good girl…” he groaned, body tensing as his own release threatened to pulse through him. “Hang in there for me…”

You could barely process his request, all you knew is he was pulling your hips up with him, moving to hover over you rather than kneel. He was forcing your body to contort into something reminiscent of a mating press, hips thrusting into you with new vigour as his release finally hit him. A whine of your name followed by breathy moans, the combination dizzying as he pressed himself as far into you as your bodies would allow. Moments of silence passed, Tengen still buried inside of you as he held your hips up. Nothing but the cool wind and your laboured breathing.

“Think we… need to do that a few more times” you finally choked out, laughing softly as his sweaty forehead met yours. “Oh definitely… I think two or three rounds may be necessary… you up for that?” Maroon eyes met your own, the closeness forcing a soft laugh from you. “Oh absolutely… maybe even more.” He merely hummed, eyes closing again to relish in the closeness between the two of you. He was more than determined to put a baby in you, no matter how many times it took.

[ar4chn333]

“I Just Got You Back”

Michael Bluth x fem reader

Summary:

You and Michael shared your chaotic childhoods as best friends until your father moves your family away, devastating both of you. Twelve years later, you reunite. Convincing Michael to take the day off work, you revisit old memories…and make some spicy new ones. (2,473 words)

Contents:

Pörn with plot, p in v, praise, f!ngering, kinda tooth-rotty ngl, friends to lovers, x fem reader

Waiting anxiously a few feet from the door, you quickly fix your hair, pushing it behind your ear. Your mother steps ahead of you, giving the door three knocks before stepping back by your side.

“Let’s hope Lucielle has wine,” she chirps.

“Please,” you chuckle softly, careful not to be heard through the door. “If there’s one thing I remember about Lucielle, it’s the attitude–and the alcohol.”

“Amen,” your mom smiles in your direction, raising her eyebrows in anticipation, clearly excited to see her friend of over 40 years. Truthfully, you didn’t care much for Lucille. She was quite harsh and you remember her outright insulting you as a child but you didn’t mind if it meant you got to see Michael. The two of you spent long, hot summers in the Bluth banana stand, teasing each other, commiserating, and of course, half-assedly selling frozen bananas. You jump a little when the door to the model home swings open and out pops Lucielle who promptly hugs your mother then does the same to you.

“Got rid of that deadbeat husband, I see Jennifer?” Lucielle blurts.

“You should have seen the divorce party,” your mom retorts, giggling.

Lucille motions you two inside, making a bee-line into the kitchen to pour another drink. “You’re old enough to drink now, right?” she asks you. “Oh, yes, though I’ll have some later, thank you,” you reply. Lucielle rolls her eyes playfully as she takes a sip and hands your mom a glass. The two start chatting away and you prepare for a long night of third-wheeling two drunk middle-aged women. However, you hear footsteps coming from upstairs and a man’s voice, seemingly trailing up and down the upper floor plan. You wonder if it’s George, though the voice is much smoother than his, and you can’t make out many of the words. You turn back to the women’s conversation, deciding the mysterious noise is none of your business.

A few moments later you hear footsteps descending the stairwell. Whipping your head around, you see a man in a light blue button-up shirt, khaki pants, and a maroon tie with a phone up to his ear, which he promptly shuts upon landing on the first floor. He looks up. It takes a moment for your brain to register who he is, but when it finally does, you dart out of your chair.

“Michael! Oh my god!”

“y/n!”

He wraps you in a bear hug, nearly lifting you off of the floor. Senses overwhelmed by the scent of cologne and the warmth of his body, you sink into him ever so slightly. After a couple seconds you briefly pull away, your arms still on his, to look at him. He’s gorgeous and has grown into his stunning blue eyes perfectly.

“How long has it been? Ten-ish years?” He says, beaming.

“More like twelve,” you retort, having actually counted beforehand during the car ride over.

“Gosh, you’re beautiful,” he says softly before chuckling nervously, as if the comment were a knee-jerk reaction. He smiles sheepishly, hand traveling to the back of his head. “Thank you,” you reply blushing and looking away briefly, stomach alight with butterflies.

Michael pulls out his phone, holding it up. “I really wish I could stay and chat but I have to head back to the office–Gob is causing trouble again.”

“Oh lord, what this time?”

“Can I tell you tonight? I’ll be back around 7.”

“I see you’re grown into your work ethic too huh? That’s not the Michael I remember at the banana stand,” you chuckle.

“No kidding, I can’t seem to catch a break.”

“Are you sure you can’t take today off? We could go to the banana stand and walk around!”

“I’m sorry y/n, Gob’s a handful and I’ve got to take care of this.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tonight then,” you say fake-pouting. He awkwardly places his hand on your shoulder for a brief moment and begins to walk towards the door. “You’d think the place is imploding with the way he acts,” shouts Lucielle with every intention of Michael hearing it. He turns back around to glare at her before locking eyes with you. Perhaps childishly, you make a fake explosion sound with an accompanying dramatic gesture from your hands. He pauses for a moment, looking back at his phone, then once again at you.

“Screw it, let’s go.”

Smiling ear-to-ear, you hop into his car and head to the banana stand. Walking around, you exchange stories of your childhood together–the banana stand, the bike rides, and burns from attempting to operate the cornballer. Though you leave it unsaid, you once again feel the pain of being thirteen and leaving Michael behind when your Dad decided to set up his company headquarters far outside of California. The pit in your stomach begins to subside when you glance back at the banana stand as the two of you walk past. The night before you left, the two of you were stocking supplies when you began to cry about your life being uprooted and most of all, losing your best friend. He kissed you that night. Your first kiss ever–and his too. Leaving broke your heart.

The two of you grab dinner and you find him to be just as funny, charming, and awkward as you left him, only now, he was devastatingly handsome. You talk about your respective jobs, ambitions, and hopes over the food, collectively realizing how weird your childhoods were–but at least you had eachother for most of it.

The two of you pull into the driveway, and he opens the door for you as you exit the car with the sweetest smile on his face as he holds your hand to help you up. You see your mom’s car and figure she’s probably passed out along with Lucielle. “I think your ride is probably asleep,” says Michael. “You’re more than welcome to spend the night, we have a spare bedroom for you to use.”

“Thank you, I’m not drunk or anything, but it certainly wouldn’t be safe for me to drive, much less attempt to wake my mother,” you chirp.

He opens the door to the house slowly and lets you inside. The lights are off so you tip-toe around to the stairs. “Where’s the extra bedroom?” You ask.

“Up here and to the right–I’ll show you,” he replies.

“Oh, perfect,” you let out with a relieved sigh, flopping on the bed, certainly feeling the sedative effects of the alcohol. “Any chance I could get some clothes to sleep in?”

“Sure! I have a shirt you could wear.”

Michael walks out of the room–the light still off with you perched on the bed. You’d have to travel back to your place in the morning. Though it was only a couple of hours away, you felt like Michael was being taken away from you again and it hurt all the same. You wanted more of him–to be around him, to talk about nothing and everything…to touch him.

He walks back into the room with a baggy shirt in hand, backlit by the slight light of the hallway. Hopping up, you glide toward him, reaching your arms out. He hugs you deeply and you feel his heart through his chest and his breath on your shoulder, sending shivers down your spine.

“I feel like I just got you back,” he says, still embracing you. Slowly, he pulls away, his arms still wrapped around you. And for a brief moment, you just look at eachother. As if in sync, your faces move towards each other, his soft lips making contact with yours. He starts slowly, savoring every moment he tastes you, the texture of his stubble on your face making you melt. Pulling you in closer he deepens the kiss, smiling when an ever-so-slight sound escapes your lips. Your hand slides up his back, to his neck, and finally to his hair which you run your fingers through, gripping it slightly as he presses against you. The feeling of your hand on him causes him to breathe deeply against you, hungry for your touch.

“You’re burning up,” he says. You look at him concerned, cheeks and chest flushed a bright red. Eventually you realize what he means.

“It just means I’m enjoying this,” you chuckle, going in for another kiss. His hands trail farther down to your lower back and eventually to your hips. You let out a slight gasp as he pulls them towards his body. Almost out of instinct, you wrap your arms around his neck and jump, your thighs resting on his hips and your legs wrapped around him. Forearms on your legs, his hands cup your ass, giving it a squeeze as he carries you towards the wall. Back on the wall, you let out a moan as he leans into you. His lips trail from your jaw to your neck, sucking lightly against the tender skin. You feel him getting hard from inside his pants as your nails drag along the shirt on his back.

“I want you, y/n. And not just tonight–I want you with me. I can’t lose you again,” he whispers.

“You won’t lose me–you’re stuck with me now,” you giggle, pausing to lock eyes with him. You lean closer once again, lips almost touching his “So fuck me, Michael.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Spinning you around to the bed, he lays you down gently, once again trailing kisses down your neck. When he gets to your collarbone, his hands begin to reach up your shirt, fingers tracing along your ribs and to your tits. He lifts your shirt off, sitting up for a second to admire you laid out for him, legs around his hips. You get a little shy, covering your breasts with your arms but he pulls them away continuing his trail of kisses from your collar bone to your sternum and finally to your nipple. Your back arches at the sensation of his mouth, tongue circling and lips sucking. Moaning softly, your hands tug on the back of his shirt, eager to feel the skin of his torso against yours. You reach down to unbutton his shirt before stripping off his undershirt.

“You’re so beautiful, y/n,” he coos. You look down at him as his lips continue down your body, his mouth emitting the smallest sounds as he licks and sucks, driving you wild. Kissing just before the band of your underwear, you let out a moan, desperate for him. “Good girl,” he whispers. His words send shivers down your body, your underwear now drenched in anticipation. Slowly, he pulls off your pants, noticing your legs shaking for him already. He puts his hand over your most sensitive region, looking up at your expression–brows furrowed and mouth agape at his touch.

“Fuck, Michael, you feel so good,” you whine.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he whispers deviantly.

His fingers trace along your pantyline, pulling them down at a painfully slow pace, causing you to squirm underneath him. Running a finger through your folds, you whimper at the pleasure.

“Please, Michael.”

At the sound of your words, his middle and index fingers begin to circle your clit. Your hand reaches to clench the bedsheets while the other occupies itself with his soft brown hair. Your back arches suddenly and you buck your hips against him. Your moans become louder but are soon muffled by his mouth against yours. “That’s my good girl, so sensitive.” No sooner than he finishes his sentence, he slips his fingers inside of you, thumb now circling your clit. Curling them, he hits your g spot as you claw at his back, body pulsating with pleasure. “You’re doing so well, baby. It feels like you’re ready for me,” he coos.

“Please, Michael, I want your cock inside me,” you moan, locking eyes with him. His pupils widen as you palm him through his pants, biting your lip. He lets out a groan, sounding almost like the growl of an animal as he grows painfully hard. Sitting up, he undoes his belt in front of you as your hands trace the inside of your thighs, ready for him. Slipping off his pants, he raises one of your legs over his shoulder. Locking eyes with you, his hand runs the tip of his cock along your folds as your head tilts back in pleasure. Lining up with your entrance, he presses slightly into you, gasping at the feeling of your pussy. His hips slowly descend towards yours, cock pressing further and further into you. You let out a small whimper at his size, but quickly adjust to take him in.

“Oh Michael,” you let out, along with a stream of unintelligible whimpers.

He begins to slide his cock in and out of you, slowly, as not to hurt you. The delicious sounds that escape his mouth ring distinctly in your ears, causing you to clench around his member. You look down to see his hips colliding into yours, your legs shaking around him, buzzing with warmth and electricity at the feeling of him inside of you. He moves faster, pushing into you with increasing force and eliciting yelps upon contact.

“Shh baby, we don’t want to wake them up,” he says while continuing to pound you. Clearly unable to hold in your sounds, he slips two fingers into your mouth and your lips close obediently around them. You taste yourself on his fingers, moans escaping in the form of high-pitched hums in rhythm with his strokes.

A knot begins to form in your stomach as he fucks you, winding tighter every time he slides his cock into you. His thrusts grow more erratic, his mouth agape, on the verge of unwinding. He then takes your other leg, placing it over his shoulder, causing his cock to hit the perfect spot inside of you as you squirm and buck beneath him.

“You feel so good, baby,” he coos, pulling his fingers out of your mouth.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Michael!” you yelp.

Warmth runs over your body and the string comprising the knot in your stomach is pulled on like a ripcord, unraveling furiously. Your body shakes and your whimpers break in time with his movement while an electrical current overtakes your body with pleasure. Michael follows soon behind, cumming as his moans echo in the room and his thrusts dissipate.

He rolls over beside you as your arms cling to him, your head resting on his shoulder. “I missed you so much–I missed my best friend,” you whisper.

“I missed you too, y/n,” he says, kissing your forehead. “Come biking along the beach with me tomorrow.”

“I would love that,” you whisper, smiling ear to ear.

Author’s note in comments💕💕💕

[lukeywritesstuff]

Double D’s

Jamie Drysdale+Luke Hughes x reader

Desc: threesome with Jamie and Luke even tho they basically have no relation they’re just my crushes and ngl the reader is me and this is my like dreaaaaam.

Note: get it, double D’s. Double defence men. Double dicks, heheheheeeee

Warnings: sex, double pen (p in v and bum) oral (m on f, f on m) idk if the ‘devils lounge’ is a real place and if it is, whoops. Cursing, threesome, basically me being horny for these two hottie d-men.

Spending time with my friends at a club is usual for a Friday night. Tonight one friend said we should go to the ‘Devils Lounge’. Apparently it’s a club where all the New Jersey Devils hang out after games or even just on off days. Today was no different I guessed as I saw Jack Hughes sitting at the bar with 4 other guys, Nico Hischier, Luke, his brother, and 2 guys who seem to be their friends but I don’t fully recognize them.

The girls I was with caught me staring at the fivesome of guys and told me to ‘go get the group some drinks’ which is our code for ‘go talk to the cute guy you’re eying up and don’t come back unless you’ve hooked up in the bathroom or got rejected.’

I got up and adjusted my already short dress to make it seem shorter and make my boobs pop out a little more, I then walked over to the guys and leaned against the bar.

“Any of you hotties wanna hit the dance floor with me?” I asked the group. The one with the eyebrows smirked and grabbed my hand and the one I know is Luke (because who in this city doesn’t know the infamous Hughes brothers) kinda huffs like a child because he didn’t get to me first I guess. I smirk at him and say, “there’s space for one more, cmon.”

We start dancing (grinding and making out) with one another (the boys never touching too much but that was all up to them) and getting drinks that were either given to us from workers or one of the guys left to get us more drinks.

Within the next hour and a half we’ve ended up at my apartment where we’re already in my room in our underwear.

I had Jamie sucking my left tit and Luke licking my pussy through my panties. I’ve never felt this good in my life.

As Luke takes my panties off and fully starts eating me out, I look at jamie and smile, “wanna suck your dick, now.”

He takes his boxers off and I lean towards him trying not to move my bottom half too much, and I take him into my mouth trying not to hit my gag reflex too much, as I haven’t lost it yet.

“M gonna eat your ass babe.” Luke said and I moaned. “J’s so you’re prepared for both of us.” He says just before I feel his tongue drag lower than my pussy hole.

Not long after Jamie tells me he’s about to cum so I let him know he can do it in my mouth and I swallow it before showing him my empty mouth. It’s really not as bad as some people say it is. I quite like the taste.

“Sit up, want you to ride me reverse cowgirl while I fuck your ass and Jam can fuck your pussy.” Luke said before we all switched positions.

I started to lower myself on his cock instantly making the both of us moan. Once I bottomed out I had to rest for a few seconds then I started moving Jamie stopped me after about a minute to let himself into my pussy, he was able to get in much faster as my body’s more used to frontal sex (I don’t have it all the time, I’ve just never done anal, but I’ve been fucked before yk)

Instantly we came up with a rhythm for our fucking I rise on Luke and Jamie thrusts himself into me making me fall onto Luke’s cock.

Throughout the time all I heard was the guys saying things like ‘Fuck you’re so tight’ ‘fuck you feel so good on my cock’ ‘you’re so wet for me baby’ and me constantly moaning their names or some type of pet name.

And it’s like they’re both on a timer or something they’re both letting me know they’re about to bust, so I play with my clit to get closer to my orgasm quicker even though these two KNOW how to fuck. And they know well.

As if someone snapped their fingers forcing us to cum at about the same time, we did. Then they pulled out of me and we layed in my bed, one of either side of me, all of us dirty, sweaty and tired.

I swear i slept better than I’ve ever slept after that. And they were still here in the morning which made me smile.

Luke was awake and on his phone, Jamie was still asleep though.

“Morning Luke, need any Tylenol or water or anything?” I ask him which honestly killed my head to talk but I wanted to make sure my guests were comfortable too. He nodded so I threw on my panties and Luke’s shirt (since he passed it to me) and I grabbed 2 cups of water and 4 pills (I took mine while down there so it’s easier to carry) and left 2 pills and a water for Jamie when he wakes and passed Luke his because you know. He’s awake.

Neither of them left till that afternoon making sure we had each others contact information.

“Next time I’m in jersey I definitely want to see you again.” Jamie said before kissing me.

“Mmm and I’m in jersey often, so I hope to see you soon.” Luke said before spanking my ass and kissing my cheek.

Then they both leave making me lonely and horny again thinking about last night.

[stayxlix]

CHAPTER 4 LET’S GAURRR!

Ooh ‘the eighth’ sounds sexy Welcome back to season 3 ( or 2?) of Julian’s play-by-play commentary hehe🤭 Sorry in advance for how long this ask is gonna be.

“You will come across many soulmates in your current lifetime. But that doesn't mean you will get to keep them.” WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?😃Pls don’t raise my blood pressure from the get-go. Anyways concept photos ate as always. Bottom left one is my favourite. The minsung one is kinda unsettling tho… foreshadowing maybe👀

Btw Minho best not give me a hard time this chapter I literally do NOT have the capacity to deal with his beef rn. Idk why I think mc will win Jeongin over tho. But hey, we’ll see! I’m literally weak with excitement!! Oh and 15k + wordcount is crazy btw I’m so proud of you <3

“Out of all of the memories he had ever made, Felix had pushed most of them away. He buried them so deep that sometimes, he wondered if he would even be able to recall them if he tried.” *takes a long breath* that… hit home.

Wait so Chanlix are all the way from district 2?? Damn. This concerns me so much because the life they have now in district 6 must be lowkey paradise compared to what they probably had before. I’ve been wondering if the rebels have family. But we’ll see.

“…using Jeongin's homemade "thunder bombs" 퉤 퉤 퉤! 소리꾼! (TWE TWE TWE SORRIKUN)

“Not everyone had as much to offer as Minho, who was beyond skilled in his knowledge of healing.” Now I feel bad for going off on him in my reaction vid :((((( Also ngl Hyunjin's perception is impressive. The way he's already figured mc and lix out. Could never be me💀 I'm so blind when it comes to this kind of thing.

Hold on….“Remember what we all agreed on, before you get too attached.”

HOLD ON…. “The same thought that had been replaying over and over again in his head since he saw that damn family crest around your neck.”

I HOPE THEY’RE NOT PLANNING TO KILL ME HELP– I really hope they didn't make a pact to end me💀💀✋

“So what if he wanted to know how you looked with your lips wrapped around his *[dinky-donk]* instead.” I have so many inappropriate things to say…. (This was WILD)

“Felix wasn't like Jisung, who could charm his way into convincing whatever semi-interested human being he stumbled across in god knows where to fuck him.” You sure about that bro? Let’s not forget chapter 1😃

“Terrified for this moment to end because once it did, you would be forced to come to terms with the permanence of the decision you had made tonight, and what it meant for not only your future, but the future of every innocent person that you passed by, sleeping soundly without any idea that a war had just begun.” SO WELL WRITTEN! SAURRR WELL WRITTEN MWUAH

“and then, to your surprise, he left your side without a word.” UHM???? EXCUSE YOU???

“But that wasn't the only reason.” PURRR MC GO GET THAT *[retracted for the sake of modesty]*

“…and sometimes Jisung who just likes to be wherever Minho is.” You’re so real for this BAHAH💀💀

“He took a few steps closer, inviting himself into your personal space once again.” TRYING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER RN BUT I’M SLOWLY LOSING MY SANITY

“Oh, I dont know. The fact that you can't seem to keep your tongue out of my mouth?” I LOVE MC WITH EVERY BONE IN MY BODY UGH JCKVJDNSL

“After all, every time you'd kissed, he had been the one to initiate it.” THAT’S THE THING!! TELL THE MF!

“Felix was the king of sending mixed signals and you had half a mind to call him out for it…” DO. IT.

“Felix brought his hands up to rest against the wall on either side of you, closing you in.” I don’t want to keep reading I cannot keep reading I’ll d!e if I keep reading I-

my sweet Jules🥹💕💕💕 can I first just say that your enthusiasm for this story is so much more appreciated than you will ever know. like words cannot even BEGIN to express how i felt when I saw your asks pop into my inbox yesterday, but i will do my very best. i’m finally sitting down for the evening to answer these (and have been looking forward to it for two whole days) so lets get started..(i'll make sure to comment as much as i can without revealing any spoilers🤭)

"I HOPE THEY’RE NOT PLANNING TO KILL ME HELP– I really hope they didn't make a pact to end me"

and already i'm reminding myself..NO SPOILERS

“...Hyunjin’s perceptive is impressive...”

especially when it comes to lix.🫢 and don’t feel too bad about going off on minho just yet….

“You sure about that bro? Let’s not forget chapter 1”

i’m💀 omg lix doesn’t see himself this way alright.😂😭 (however right you may be)

it means so much to me that you always take the time to mention the concept photos and i will never ever forget when you said that each chapter has a different color that you associate with it. that touched my heart more than you will ever know.🥹🤍 and the word count honestly at the rate I was going I was terrified it was going to be something like 18k lmao but thankfully we were able to condense a bit.😂

THE THUNDEROUS LYRICS.😂 ty for including this lmao i HAD to include a thunderous reference somewhere because it may or may not be my fav skz song of all time and I will fight anyone who tries to tell me it isn’t a masterpiece

"SO WELL WRITTEN! SAURRR WELL WRITTEN MWUAH"

(ily lmao) this was a last minute addition like an hour before i posted the chapter🤭 so the fact that you included it here made me giggle. and if i’m being honest our mc really has become very special to me too. i had absolutely no idea when i first started writing this story how attached i was going to become to her but i really have grown to hold a special place for her in my heart so once again thank you for this.💕💕💕

going to head on over to part 2 now....(mostly because i need to cut myself off or i will spend all night on this one ask alone because there is so much to unpack with your commentaries and you know i absolutely love you for that<33)

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys’ reactions to you speaking 💗 uwu💗

characters: tsukishima, ushijima, yaku, kenma & iwazumi

thank you anon for this cute request 💕 idk what i just wrote but i had fun 👍

IWAIZUMI & KENMA’S ARE AGED UP! MUTURE THEMES - MINORS DNI

tw// fluff, swearing, uwu language, cwinge

kenma’s hcs tw// sexual themes, implied switch!reader, phone sex(?), mentions of a blowjob, mentions of punishment

iwaizumi’s hcs tw// breeding kink, fem!reader, orgasm denial

Kei Tsukishima

you realised he didn’t like it so you did it just to annoy him LMFAO

he was scrolling through tiktok and a girl popped up on his fyp talking like that, so he snarled and immediately flicked it away, muttering something along the lines of ‘why do people speak like that? do they think it’s cute? ‘cause it’s really not; it’s just embarrassing.’

so you wasted no time in responding, ‘sowwy? what was that?’

HELL 👏 FIRE

his blood literally ran cold, he was aware that you liked taking the piss but he didn’t expect you to do it to this extent

 ‘what did you just say?’ he murmured, silently praying that he had just misheard you

you rolled your eyes before scoffing ‘nothing.’ you deepened your voice, just playing around at this point tbh

tsukishima hummed in agreement, deciding not to inquire further as he figured that he must’ve heard the echo of the girl’s voice in his head rather than yours

so he was just about go back to scrolling until he heard you coo in a high-pitched from behind him, ‘tsukishima is a lil’ bitch.’

‘(Y/N), FUCKING STOP!’ he let a throaty scream at you

‘you’re so boring, tsukki-’ you spoke, quickly cutting yourself off so you could switch to your uwu voice, ‘or should I say; bowing.’

you said, hopeful that your voice would make it clearing that you meant ‘boring’ rather than the act of playing an instrument with a bow

‘go to hell.’ he grumbled, trying his best to tune you out by pulling his headphones over his ears 

‘babe~’ you purred, shuffling over to him and peppering kisses along the nape of his neck as you were feeling extra evil today, ‘wuv you~’

‘jail.’  tsukishima simply stated as he switched over to Spotify so he could blare some Mother Mother to drown out the sound of your voice

the worst part was that he couldn’t even tell if he liked it or not PFFT

like it was cute but the fact you weaponised it against him annoyed him

but you were also giving him kithes so he couldn’t exactly complain 💞

Morisuke Yaku 

ok don’t even lie yaku does a variant of the uwu voice whenever he’s trying to insult kuroo IUGBEIGVA

it’s something like ‘aww, kuwoo, does your lil’ undewdeveloped bwain not undewstand algebwa?’ but in a mocking way yk?

so when a he watches a lil’ tabby cat approach you on the street, then you busted out the uwu voice that he had never heard before- he was taken aback

at first he was like ‘woah why are you making fun of that cat?’ bc he always associated that voice with ridicule LMFAO

but when he processed all the nice things you were saying he realised that you were being nice lol

so then he was like ‘awwww 🥺 (y/n) + cat = SO FKN CUTE!! 💕💗💖’ *click click* and he just starts taking photos

he probably puts them on his private story with the caption ‘their an angel 😍’

(then kuroo probably replies with ‘they’re*’) (don’t ask why yaku put him on his private story ✋)

anyway, he’s probably so fond of the voice too like ofc he thinks it’s cute

bc it’s a lil’ kitten and you’re talking to it in a high-pitched voice as if it can understand you SO FKN CUTE

he’s not too effected by it tho- it’s mostly how well you get on with the cat that he really admires

then he couched down beside you to talk to the cat too and y’all had a whole conversation with it in uwu

‘aww, look! are you hungwy, baby?’ you asked the cat as it licked the back of it’s paw

‘i think, it is!’ yaku continued, aware that if anybody from school caught him doing this, he’d pass away on the spot but what can he say? he’s soft for you (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

 ‘i have some blueberries in my bag, you can have some if you say please.’ he told the cat

you were both met by the cat’s blank - but adorable - stare, accompanied by silence until the kitten let out a faint, ‘mew’

‘AWWWWWW!!! 💞💕💖🥺👏 ’ you both squealed in unison, impressed by the kitten’s response 

‘it understands us!’ you gasped while applauding the cat for it’s excellent communication skills

‘the voice must work!’ yaku concluded as he scrambled to throw his bag off his back and rummage through it in search of the tub of blueberries

you nodded, watching in awe as yaku pulled out the tub to carefully pick out the plumpest berries and feed them to the cat

yaku noticed your expression out of the corner of his eye and chuckled, ‘what?’

‘you’re so cute.’ you snickered, lighting bopping his nose with your index finger as he continued to allow the cat to feed out of the palm of his hand

a furious blush immediately covered his cheeks as he hastily turned his head away to hide it - in a typical anime fashion, ‘be quiet.’

Kenma Kuzome

it’s a sex thing-- it’s 100% a sex thing

a kink perhaps?

ngl he loves it when you do the voice in bed 

like don’t ask why it turns him on so much

he’s weak for you whenever you do the voice tbh

BUT it’s only hot when you do it 

when any other person does it - especially if it’s over text - he literally gags 🤢🤢🤢

when a streamer he watches does the voice, he’s just thinks ‘ew ✋ that isn’t cute. pls stop.’

but when you do it- boner alert pfft

especially when you moan in that voice yES HE LOVES THAT

you just execute it in a way these other bitches just can’t, okay? 💅 IUERBGFERIBG

he doesn’t mind putting the voice on sometimes if you like it when he does it but he’s really embarrassed by it 🙈

he’ll try to say something in the voice while you’re rearranging his guts for a change and you’re praising him like 👏👏👏 ‘awh, precious kenma bb.i love that voice on you, i might just let you cum early--’

and he’s fucking groaning from pain, pleasure and humiliation 

‘never again.’ was the single coherent thought he could form

you’re only giving like 20% of the time but if you happen to giving on a day that you’re feeling especially evil, you might make him do the voice in exchange for orgasm privileges

but he gets you back for it though 

you’d call him, whining and pleading for him to help you with the throbbing between your legs or at the very least, give you permission to touch yourself

but considering that the day prior, you had tortured his ass to the point were he was now struggling to sit down, ofc he was just like ‘no ❤’ when you ask for his assistance 

even after your continuous begging, he didn’t budge 

‘don’t you dare put your hands on yourself until i get home. i’m leaving right now so i should be back in half an hour but if you keep pestering me like a little bitch, then i’ll be sure to go extra slow on the highway.’

although, for kenma ‘extra slow’ is probably the speed limit lmao

(istg he drives like he’s in mario kart)

however, half an hour was just too long 😩 i mean, you had probably been on call with him for 5 minutes already and it took you 20 minutes to get him to pick up the phone so by now, you were clearly on the brink of madness

‘kitten~’ you whined, desperately trying to think of a way to convince kenma to aid you 

then you remembered; his weak spot

‘pwease, baby?’ you softened and raised the pitch of your voice

kenma perked up as he realised what you were trying to do, the tips of his ears burning, ‘don’t bother to try that with me, (y/--’

‘i’ll suck you off when you come back.’ you promised, keeping the voice on, the aching getting worse and worse by the second

kenma was now partially able to relate to your circumstance as he began to feel a straining of his own, between his legs at your cutesy tone along with the image of the last time you blew him tormenting his mind

‘whatever. but only use your hands. i can tell when you use a toy so don’t even try; or else i’ll dick you down ‘til the sun rises- okay bye.’

atm the moment, that hardly sounded like a punishment but then you reflected back on how you’d be crying for a mercy after the fourth round with kenma so- yeah

anyway, moral of the story, if you perform the voice well enough, it’s basically kenma’s weakness so use it wisely 

Hajime Iwaizumi

you first did the voice in front of him while you had a friend’s baby in your arms and you were trying to communicate with it 

it kinda looked like 

you: hewwo babyy~ who’s the most precious thing? you are! 

the baby: 🤠

the parent: 🙂

iwa: 😶

iwa ON THE INSIDE: breeding kink go brrrr 😩 i want to put a baby in her so bad- she’ll scream my name in that fucking voice tonight

and he was right

cut to him pounding you while demanding that you say his name in ✨the voice✨ or else you won’t be allowed to cum

ofc you had too much pride for that so you just let him dick you down and cum whether he likes it or not but he could tell that was the plan you had in mind so he suddenly pulled out just as you were about to reach your high

he looked at you with a mean scowl, ‘fucking say it or i’ll stop right now.’

if he were to stop, it would kinda be a punishment for him too but he didn’t care- anything to see his lovely gf suffer tbh 😇

also he could get off to you fingering yourself, struggling to orgasm- he’s done it before and he’ll gladly do it again if you don’t say his damn name 

‘iwa..’ you groaned, gripping at the sheets as you anticipated him sliding his cock back into you 

‘in the voice.’ iwaizumi reiterated, delivering a hard smack to the side of your thigh out of annoyance

you hissed at the sharp impact , gulping to lubricate your dry throat before choking out in your best imitation of the voice he desired, ‘iwa~’

he was only half-satisfied with what you uttered but i mean, it got the job done

his dick was throbbing, practically begging for the comfort of your warm cunt once again so he hastily slipped back in, letting out a low groan as he did so

so he’d continue hammer you from behind, probably muttering incoherent things about your babies and your voice while doing so but you chose to pay little attention to it as you couldn’t help but focus on your own intense pleasure

once he finally climaxed, he did it inside you which you wasn’t surprising as y’all had already established that you love being being filled up and he loves filling you up 💕

but then he insisted that y’all go for another few rounds to increase the chance of pregnancy 

like- sir-

you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you were on birth control 

bc surely......he would’ve known

but he didn’t

you eventually told him that you had no interest in coming off birth control and he wasn’t mad LMAO he didn’t even want a baby tbh he was just caught up in the moment 

yeah no but if you do the voice again, the cycle will continue

Wakatoshi Ushijima

you were both hanging out in your bedroom, doing your own things, and you were sending your friend a (video) snap so you ironically used the uwu voice

ofc this caught his attention so he shifted his gaze off of his revision sheets and onto you, shooting you a weird look

you couldn’t help but snicker, turning to him and continuing with your little impression, ‘can i hewp you?’ you tried to ask in all seriousness but you couldn’t suppress the smile that was tugging on the corners of your lip

were you a little high? yes

ushijima just blinked rapidly, wondering why you sound like a cuter version of mickey mouse all of a sudden

was it a trend?

or maybe it was for one of those ‘tiktoks’?

either way, ushijima couldn’t help what he said next

‘no. i’m fiwne.’

IUERSBGTOHAROHSGBGFRO

HE SAID IT LIKE ‘fi - whine’ THO

you passed away 💀⚰

‘TOSHI!!!’ you screamed, feeling your soul leave your body

ushijima gasped, thinking that you had just been possessed or sumn, ‘hm?’

once he realised that you were in fact sane, he figured that your reaction must have something to do with his response 

‘did i say something wrong?’ his lips curling into the tiniest of smiles, simply because you looked so joyous so ofc he was he was happy seeing you happy

‘nope! please say it again, toshi! i’m beggin’ ya’

‘no.’

although he loved hearing you laugh more than anything, the man had his limits

ngl he doesn’t mind when you do it - it just doesn’t especially effect him, that’s all

you could just randomly start talking like that during a conversation and he’ll just go from 😐 to 😐

but he gets butterflies when you call him ‘baby’ which is something you usually pickup whenever you put on the voice lol <3

pls call him ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ more he just wants to feel cared for and loved for a change instead of always having to constantly put on a front of ‘big, stoic man with no feeling that you can push around to your hearts content’  around literally everyone. sometimes he just wants to come home and feel like he can actually express himself and be soft without getting ridiculed  

[kybervisions]

midnight at wayne manor [clark]

summary: during a new years party at wayne manor, a drunk reader makes a move on clark. feelings long buried resurface, which leads to a clark breaking up with lois.  

author’s note: i love chaos,, this was just a small and quick idea that popped into my head while working on another clark one-shot,,feel free to send requests!! clark does try to be a good boyfriend to lois buuut......still a soft!clark fic bc im pretty sure he gets manhandled in this??? 

tags: cheating, dry humping, intoxicated!reader, reader is kind of a maneater in this ngl, kinda angsty   

They should have stayed home, that was Clark’s immediate thought upon laying eyes on you. The wind had been knocked out of him and he felt frozen in time as you approached them with a bright smile. Your dress fit your body perfectly, complimenting your shape in a sexy red faux leather mini dress, and then your eyes met. Dazzling and alluring. Clark almost forgot about Lois standing beside him, but she grabbed his arm and dragged him to greet you. 

“Happy New Year!” Lois exclaimed as she went in for a hug. “Your house looks amazing by the way,” 

“Thank you,” You chuckled and hugged Lois. “I didn’t think you’d be coming,” You kissed Lois’s cheek and withdrew from the hug. Clark knew you would go to him next. He knew it was just a friendly greeting, but he couldn’t keep himself composed if your body was wrapped tightly around his. 

So, he extended his arm and went for a handshake.

Clark saw a flash of hurt in your eyes, which you quickly covered with a happy face, and he felt like he had been punched in the gut. 

“Almost didn’t,” Lois laughed. “But our schedule cleared up,”

“Good,” You smiled. “Alfred and I spent too much time planning this for people not to enjoy it,”

“Where’s Bruce?” Clark looked around the room.

“My dear brother has locked himself in his room,” You said rather somberly. Again, the sadness in your eyes impacted him. Clark wanted you to be happy, and he needed to be the reason for putting a smile on your face. “Like a fucking child,”

Lois chuckled nervously, uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. Clark takes a step closer to you, “Do you want me to talk to him? Try and convince him to come up?” He asked. 

“No...I kinda want you to beat his ass,” You said, and you shared a small smile. “He knows how much this party means to me and doesn’t care enough to show up,”

“I’m going to get some drinks,” Lois said, wanting to leave such a personal conversation. After all, she and you had never been close. You met Lois through Clark, but Lois had written about you long before Clark became Superman. You’ve kept a cordial relationship with her, in the name of team bonding. 

So, Lois quickly exited the scene. 

“I’ll rough him up for you,” Clark chuckled and pushed his glasses up with his index finger.

The sudden alertness in your eyes should have told him not to follow you to the Batcave. When you grabbed his arm and interlocked your fingers with his, he should have pulled away, but he let you lead him deeper into the manor, away from the party. 

Clark turned a corner, and you pushed him against a wall. The attack took him by surprise, but he didn’t fight you off. He felt your lips on his and melted. His mind went fuzzy. All he could focus on was you and the feeling of you against him.

He kissed you back. Desperately. Like you’d disappear and he’d never be able to kiss you again. Clark grabbed your hips and switched your positions — having your back against the wall as he thrust his crotch against your wet core. 

Being so close to you made Clark delirious. He should have stopped it, but instead, he deepened your kiss. He tasted the tequila and weed on your tongue, which reminded him you weren’t in the right state of mind, and that completely shattered this little paradise.

“You’re so warm,” You slurred in a whisper. 

“Y/N, you’re drunk,” He tried to hide his hurt. It wasn’t some confession of love from you. It was something fun for you to do while drunk, which broke his heart.

“Hmhmm,” You nodded. “And high,” You smiled. “Want some?” You tried to kiss him again. He turned his head to avoid your lips touching. 

“We can’t,” Clark struggled to pull himself away from you. 

“Because of Lois?” You asked.

“Oh, god, Lois,” Clark ran his fingers through his hair, panicking at the mention of his girlfriend. “I’m sorry,” He apologized. “I shouldn’t have let you do this,” He looked deeply into your confused eye. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Clark,” You smiled. “I wanted to kiss you,” You took a step toward Clark, closing the space between you. “I want to do a lot more than that,” You added, reaching for his crotch.

“O-oh,” Clark whispered as your hands teased his hardened cock through the dress pants. You kissed his neck, and Clark shut his eyes. “Please, don’t,”

You immediately pulled away.

Clark opened his eyes but didn’t see you standing in front of him. He turned around, looked down the hallway, but saw nothing. Only when he used his enhanced vision did he see you had made it to the Batcave. He looked at his watch, which read 11:38pm and sped down to the cave. 

When he reached the control computer, he could hear you crying. Bruce was holding you and looked at Clark with an angry expression. Your tears were his fault, somehow. Confused, but desperate to make you feel better, Clark approaches you.

“Lotta nerve making a girl cry on her birthday,” Bruce said callously. 

It stung.

“You’re not not guilty either, asshole,” You punched Bruce’s shoulder. 

“Ow, fine, I’ll leave,” He kissed your temple, “Love you, spider-monkey,” You rolled your eyes at the nickname. Bruce shot a death glare at Clark before exiting the Batcave to join the festivities.

Your eye makeup had smeared, with black tears running down your cheeks. You looked a mess, which Clark still found endearing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a soft tone. 

“I didn’t think you were coming,” You hiccupped. “Soo I drank a lot really fast,” You continued, almost embarrassed to explain your emotions. “Because I really wanted you here and I felt sad but then you showed up and I got really happy and you look so good right now and I’m really drunk and—” To save you your breath, Clark kissed you.

He moved your hair, cupped your face, and passionately kissed you. He wanted this, you, for so long, Clark didn’t care it would inevitably hurt Lois. 

You shoved him away and tears filled your eyes, “We can’t, remember?” Lois. “I’m such a horrible person,” You began to cry. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I shouldn’t have done that to Lois,” Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. 

Clark hugged you. He wrapped his arms around your body, tiny in comparison to his stature, and he just held you.

“I look good tonight?” Clark asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence. 

You burst into laughter, and Clark was happy to see you smile again. “Yeah, like a sexy librarian,” Your eyes met.

“How long have —

“I don’t even know when it started,” You answered his unfinished question. “All I know is that I looked at you one day and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore,” 

Right. The unspeakable ‘it’. You’d been so scared of falling in love with your best friend that you patiently watched him date another woman for nearly a year.

“But by then, it was too late,” 

“It’s never too late,” Clark asserted. Despite his relationship with Lois, he didn’t feel at home. He’d never experienced a passion like you. Lois tried her best to keep him happy, but her efforts were pointless. “I love you, Y/N,” He confessed.

“I wanna fuck you so bad,” You blurted out. 

“Dear God, woman,” Clark laughed at your explicit commentary. “I’ll break things off with Lois first, alright? So we can both try and keep some semblance of a conscience,” 

“...tonight?” 

[retvenkos]

Hi I am v annoying and we haven't like chatted in a while so I wanted to pop in and ramble honestly idk this is not gonna be structured and say HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII <3 miss you bestie,, sowwy I missed your cym thing (honestly though cym as lines of your writing I would DIE). I have NOT started bridgerton s2 yet… hopefully soon though love like honestly the show is trash but it's MY trash aksjsjsjsj. When you have time you should watch Alice in Borderland cause it's a FANTASTIC J-drama and we're getting s2 this year!!!1!! Do you have a bias of bts yet?? I can't listen to Bastille now without thinking of you if you made me a playlist of songs that remind you of me I would literally kiss you on the mouth hahaha anyways! Miss you lots bestie!! I got a new book the other day and I'm so excited to read it <3 <3 I would love to go to a bookstore with you and buy books and come back and read in each other's laps… eating oranges and almonds like we're in the freaking 19th century akdjsjdj

lindsay my bestie!!!!!! my k-drama enthusiast!!!!! my bookworm extraordinaire!!!!! my wife (no, i will not let you forget - even though i looked it up and i can't gain citizenship in canada based off of marriage status alone, smh)!!!!!!

honestly, this ask ran me over like a lawnmower it's so unhinged, but i love you for it, asdghjhgfdsdfgh.

i hope you get to watch bridgerton s2 soon! i just started episode 3, and i hope to watch more later tonight and this weekend. we'll have to see how it goes, but from what i can tell you spoiler free - i simply missed the shenanigans. so many great characters,,,,, so many perfect dynamics,,,,, so many hilarious lines and occasionally heartfelt moments..... there are definitely times where it is not..... the best show ever, but this season is already sO much fun. i was a little taken aback by the use of a classical version of material girl by madonna,,,,,,,,, it felt like a cover that stuck out more than the others, although, perhaps it's just because of my familiarity, but hey! that's just bridgerton for you <3.

and alice in borderland!!!!!! yes!!!!! i've been meaning to ask you about that - it seems really interesting, and kinda something i want to get into, but i've been told to watch squid games instead by a few friends. i only trust your opinion, though, (esp. since i don't think they've seen alice in borderland?) and which one i should prioritize - alice in borderland or squid games? i'm leaning toward alice in borderland, ngl, but i just know squid games is a Thing™ for a reason,,,,,,,

and as for a bts bias, i'm going to be 100% real with you and tell you i'm still trying to figure out who it's going to be (honestly, i feel like i need to watch interviews with them or something because outside of the context of their music, they're still such an abstract in my mind), but, i have to say i'm leaning toward namjoon. i just think he's neat.

and you associate bastille with me???? that is such a compliment, lindsay, and i have given you lindsaycore bastille songs before (poet? you mean lindsay???) but!!!!!! i must also say you align with pompeii quite nicely. idk what it is exactly, but those vibes just remind me of the vibrancy of you.

and omg,,,,,, watch me make a playlist with songs that remind me of you <3. i have thoughts already,,,,, wait until i put them down in your inbox.

and lindsay!!!!!! what i would give to go to a bookstore with you! we'd have to go to one that's in a shopping center so we can go shop to shop, stopping in the clothing store to try on jackets and dresses we aren't going to buy, browsing through lipglosses at a makeup store and buying overly-priced scented hand lotion, getting specialty ice cream and giggling in bookstores,,,,,,,,, i am yearning.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

“sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[gummyvitamin]

𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 + 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝑽 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔: 𝑾𝒊𝒏𝒘𝒊𝒏

♡ 𝒌𝒖𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒔 𝒙𝒊𝒂𝒐𝒋𝒖𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈

best friend!winwin x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff; friends to lovers

words: 753

*disclaimer: this post is not at all meant to undermine the severity of the pandemic; this is meant to help cheer up those who are bored or in low spirits because of quarantine. it is so so important to be mindful and do what we can to stop the spread. stay safe, please please wash your hands frequently, and help protect others by avoiding public spaces, wearing a mask and maintaining social distancing :)

sometimes quarantine had u feeling really restless and irritable

and tonight was just one of those times:((

so in attempt to do some ~self care~ u had just finished brewing a cup of chamomile tea 

and in that moment u get a text from ur friend winwin 

and hes all like “y/n!!! we HAVE to start this show tonight i heard its sooo good !!”

(btw he always adds a bunch of cute stickers at the end of his texts aw)

and tbh u were reeeeallllyy hoping he would contact u

because u rly enjoy watching shows with him :D

like back before lockdown began u would go to his apartment every weekend and go on a full on netflix /binge/ 

and winwin always made sure to stock his pantry full of yummy snacks and he would pile up his couch with lots and lots of soft blankets and plushies

he would just go all out to make sure u were comfy and having a good time while u were over 🥺

and no matter what kind of day u were having, going to his place always made u feel so much better:’))

but since u couldn’t go to his apartment anymore u both came up with the idea of watching shows together over zoom!

and ofc its not as fun but u figured it was 1000% better than watching them alone:(( 

so ur putting on fuzzy socks and throwing ur fluffiest blanket in the dryer for a bit so it comes out nice and warm~

and u get snuggled up in ur bed w ur laptop out and ur waiting for winwins call

and then u get the zoom notification !! and now ur both on the call and hes smiling real big at u thru the webcam

and he proceeds to mirror his laptop screen onto ur laptop and gets netflix pulled up

so u two are just watching this show together, making little side comments throughout

and sometimes u can hear winiwn giggle at some joke a character made and its rly cute aw 🥺

but after a while it gets pretty late 

and winwins trying to coax u into “just /one more/ episode of castlevania cmonnnnn 😩😩”

but ur eyes are literally sore from staring at the screen for so long

so u two just agree to stay on the call and chat for a while

and he’s just talking about this new choreo he’s been working on and how he cant wait to show it to u

and ngl ur kinda sleepy and dozing off but then u hear a loud *ding*

and ur like did i get a text ??? but then u realize its actually coming from winwins laptop

and my guy still has his screen mirrored so u were able to catch a glimpse of the little message preview in the corner

and its from some dude named lucas and the text is just like “dude are u gonna tell y/n u like them or not smh”

and by the time winwin realizes u can see it and scrambles to close the notification its too late😳

and even when he tries to close it more messages just keep popping up

its still lucas and hes just like “bc i know uve liked them for so long” “bro u gotta just do it now” “istg sicheng dont be a wuss” LMAO

and winwin just kinda accepts defeat poor guy

(even tho hes def gonna attempt to fight lucas the next time he sees him)

and so hes just like “well i guess i can’t hide it from u anymore ���”

but what he Didn’t Know is that uve also been trying for /so long/ to find the right time to tell him that u like him

and so u tell him those exact words and he’s finally able to relax and laugh it off bc thank god u actually like him back💕

and u two are tryna go back to talking normally like u were before but u both are just blushing so much djdsksjds

and just like,,how tf did yall not realize u both had feelings for eachother like u went to his apartment literally every. single. weekend. lollll

u tell him this and he just starts laughing which makes u start laughing like wow we’re both rly dumb but its okay:’)

and before winwin hangs up the call he promises to invite u over to see him perform his new choreo once lockdown is finally over 🥺

[library-with-tales]

Bungou Stray Dogs Band AU that I spontaneously came up with like a second ago.

Based off the mobile game if you haven’t noticed. Someone probably already thought of this buuuuut I like my idea so here we go:

World setting

Port Mafia, Armed Detective Agency and The Guild are music agencies while the other smaller groups are just bands (haven’t read manga yet but I’m aware there are other groups). The Special-too-long-of-a-name people are the big boy cooperation (I am so uneducated with the music world why do I do this to myself).

Port Mafia are filled with talented people yes, but they have the habit of straining the music artists sometimes (this will be relevant in a bit) and are more focused on the monz. If you want a reference, their music are on the same level as your good ol’ big pop groups, the real famous on the radio ones.

Armed Detective Agency (in this case they’re called Armed Music Agency, yes they are still armed) is a smaller agency since they prioritize quality and feelings over quantity and catchiness, which makes them pretty indie tbh, They have songs that don’t particularly appear on the radio a lot, if not, not at all. Though they’re talented all the same.

The Guild are basically the equivalent to K-pop and J-pop, not quite famous in Yokohama, but definitely famous enough to go on tour there.

Atsushi’s arc

There were a few ideas for him (music school was in the draft but I dunked it faster than I pulled it up) but it boils down to one thing: Atsushi accidentally becomes a famous singer from an old video he made when he wasn’t fully into music yet. He, being the oblivious guy he is, suddenly starts gaining fans and is beyond confused yet appreciates it very much.

Though not sure why people are calling him the Beast below The Moonlight (Plot twist, you big stupidhead, that was the title of the old song you made). He goes along with it though, calling himself Moon Tiger, which is so him honestly.

Anyways it’s not Dazai if he doesn’t try to drown himself so while Atsushi’s vibing by the open canal he just sees him. Like canon, Atsushi saves Dazai. But the thing about Atsushi is; he’s camera shy and most of his videos have him covering his face and out of camera view, so Dazai doesn’t immediately recognize him as the famous youtube singer.

As thanks, Dazai treats Atsuhi to dinner with Kunikida, and Dazai has a hunch that Atsushi is Moon Tiger so they start a small convo about it. Atsushi’s all; “ERRRRMMMMMMM” and he wants to leave until:

“Y’know, whoever Moon Tiger is, I’d totally pay a lot of money to hear him sing.” Dazai hums. Kunikida kinda agrees to this, saying how talent like his shouldn’t come totally for free. Atsushi doesn’t ask for donations or get youtube money (because he dunno how :( ) so he’s almost flat broke, and this kinda perks his interest.

“Actually, uh, I kinda know Moon Tiger. I didn’t want to bring it up because I thought you’d ask for autographs or something ha ha. I agree with the paying part.” Atsushi you’re low key greedy ngl, Pre-Bullshit Atsushi was greedy. Money-eyed hoe. “If you want I can get you to meet him, but he won’t wanna show his face so it’s gotta be somewhere he can hide himself while still being able to sing.”

“Done!” Dazai holds his hand out like it’s some sort of deal. “I know a place.”

I’m sorry Dazai, but I’m not smart or sexy as you, so I don’t know the place. Let’s go with the regular canon spot, yeah? And Dazai listens while Atsushi sings behind a big crate and when Atsushi is done, he expects money but he gets a thunderous applause instead and suddenly his identity is revealed and everyone is clapping and staring at him super amazed.

And Atsushi faints from being too overwhelmed. 

Anyways, things happen, some parts are alike to canon, some parts aren’t. Atsushi’s main goal in this AU is to get over his terrible stage fright while simultaneously trying to avoid clashing with Port Mafia, who at first, wants to recruit him before he fully signs the contract with AMA.

I don’t know how battles would work in this, but they happen.

Dazai’s backstory

So my man Dazai amirite?

Not a surprise, he used to be under Port Mafia. At some point he does numerous collabs with free lancer Chuuya because Chuuya’s little sheep band had an issue with copyright with Port Mafia (oops). 

Onto the main course though: Odasaku.

Ango is in charge of Oda and Dazai, who usually does music together because they’re friends (hurray). But Oda had long gave up on doing vocals because his throat just couldn’t handle it, he much prefers writing music and Dazai doesn’t mind because he never has extremely big ideas anyways.

A clash with Mimic happens and Mori’s all: We need more music we need to stay number one. And so -I dunno how- he forces Oda to finally use his voice to sing via Ango’s persuasion.

Oda completely loses his voice in the end, like he completely damaged it, and he can’t handle the music industry anymore so he leaves. And Dazai’s all: “Don’t go please.”

And Oda writes on his phone and holds it out for Dazai, “This agency. It doesn’t care much for music, does it? I used to sing because I liked singing, because there were feelings in it. But slowly this agency stopped me from being able to do that. Dazai. Don’t you think you should sing with feelings too? You’ve never made an opinion on my ideas, is it because you can’t or you won’t?”

And Dazai realizes he only likes doing music because of the people around him, especially Oda, and now that Oda isn’t in Port Mafia anymore, it just isn’t the same. He’s been making music to grab people’s attention and not much because he wanted to. So he decides to change and switches agencies.

(His relationship with Akutagawa is as straining as canon; “I don’t care about how you made this dumb song, it’s not good enough! How will anyone want to listen to this crap?” Now Aku’s music are catchy and all but lacking in meaning.)

Other things

Yosano’s music is pretty rough, but it literally lets all the feelings out, so it becomes pretty nice. So you know that music that cures this and cures that? That’s Yosano’s music, except it’s really hardcore. I don’t know how she does it, she just does.

Kyouka is the daughter of two big music geniuses and is expected to be the same, so she gets an immediate acceptance into Port Mafia and it nearly breaks her until Atsushi meets her. During a concert or something -because in the end, Atsushi’s still the fan boy type- Atsushi goes up to Kyouka and asks if she’s okay and stuff.

“I’ve made 35 songs, but I can’t...hear my own voice, my own music...” Your Lie in April ref do not hunt me please. 

Ranpo is known to have serious in depth meaning behind his music, and a good 20% are just matryoshka songs (he gives out stuff if you find out if his song is an in depth meaning one or just nonsense that somehow speaks meaning while having no theme at all)

Poe’s are somewhat the same as Ranpo, except they’re more like stories to be honest, and his songs get numerous fan interpretation and so far, Ranpo always gets it right. The only one who ever does without missing a beat (ha ha got em.)

Debating if I should just make Kunikida an agent or a music artist that just likes writing songs rather than performing them.

Naomi could be an idol ngl but she’s not, she’s her brother’s number one fan! (She’s a secretary in the agency.)

Chuuya’s more famous for his pretty looks than his music at this point, but it doesn’t mean he’s a shit music artist though.

Higuchi is Aku’s agent.

Kenji’s songs are so happy and go-lucky it makes anyone listening to it feel pumped up. Hence his music are often used in AMVs or sports exercise (what a range!)

Yumeno’s music are those cursed type of songs that weren’t meant to be creepy or weird to begin with (e.g Tonight You Belong To Me, it’s an innocent song yet it can be taken as horror(?)) but end up becoming one anyways.

Dazai’s songs are so sad sometimes but they’re always upbeat. A weird yet perfect balance for his listeners.

That’s all I got! Honestly, don’t really know how to develop The Guild in this, maybe one day I will. 

[seasickbaby]

Just a Kiss (II)

Pairing: Christopher x reader

Words: 1.7k

Summary: Christopher offers to help improve your *romantic* skills, and he isn’t kidding. When you agree, things escalate and feelings you tried to suppress resurface. 

A/N: Hola amores! Thank you so much for your patience with his fic. Ngl I don’t think this is my best writing but I wanted to get it up anyways. This chapter is short but I’m thinking about making this a series. Please come talk to me about this chapter and what you (want) think is gonna happen next! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me motivated to write more. Also from now on my notes will go at the bottom! Enjoy!

You can read part one here: 

https://seasickbaby.tumblr.com/post/188487428355/just-a-kiss

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“I mean,,, t-tips…” You stutter, “Give me tips.”

Christopher clicks his tongue and leans back on the counter.

“Tips will only get you so far y/n… This is more of a hands on activity.”

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully. “Come on, I need a guy’s perspective. I could give you some in return.”

Chris, completely unfazed, just takes another sip of his beer. The lack of attention is bothersome so you cross your arms and pout your lip; inner five year old coming out when he doesn’t give you what you want.

Chris steals a side glance and chuckles. He then turns and, with a soft gaze, places a soft hand underneath your chin.

“No offense princesa, but what tips could you possibly give me?”

Forehead wrinkling, you force a laugh.

Wow, that was rude.

“Full offense Chris, but for how much you get gassed up about your skills, I expected more.”

This takes him by surprise. He was used to being teased by the other members, sure, but never about his ways with women. Everyone knew he was a ladies man. Even himself.

“Woah what do you mean?” Visibly hurt and confused, Chris pulls back his hand and dramatically places it over his chest.

You pretend you do not hear.

“Hmmm, maybe I should just ask Zabdi, I bet he won’t mind.” You shrug before hopping off the stool, “I’ve heard good things about him too.” You wink.

“Wait, wait, wait.”

His hand finds yours before you could walk away.

“Fine. I’ll help you, but first take back what you said.”

His ego got hurt, cute.

“And why would I do that?” You smile innocently.

He gives a small tug on your hand and brings you to stand in front of him, pulling you in between his legs when he hooks his hands behind your lower back. Eyes burning into yours.

Funny how people say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Most would say Chris is an open book; his outgoing, energetic personality makes it seem like such, but his eyes always spoke the words he never said out loud. Full of emotions yet never revealing too much, only showing what he wanted you to see.

You let yourself get lost in them every once in a while, never for too long. But right now, being so close in proximity, staring straight into his doe eyes, made you a little light headed.

Not even kidding, you could’ve kissed him again right there and then... if Erick hadn’t interrupted. The young one came over, ever so happily, and throws his arms over both your shoulders; the movement forcing Chris’ hands to let go of you.

“Ayyyy, compadres.”

“Erick your breath smells like beer.” Chris laughs as he sees you wrinkle your nose in the opposite direction of his face.

“Honestly, who even gave you alcohol you’re a baby!”  

“I am not! Tengo 18 años para su información. I’m a full grown, legal, adult!” Erick sloppily waves his hands in the air.

“Uh huh, we can see that.”

A couple minutes pass of the three of you standing there together, laughing and talking, until Erick stops mid conversation and gasps.

Listen to the song!” He instructs.

You and Chris both give each other a puzzled look as you try to listen over the crowd of drunk people.

“Que sordos… It’s El Guachineo!” He grabs your hand and starts to pull you out onto the dance floor, “Come on, let's dance!”

You swallow the last of your drink and the tequila pumps through your veins, making you feel bolder and confident. Perhaps it was the way Chris was looking at you or the one too many shots you took, you weren’t really sure, but you get the sudden urge to give in to Christopher’s temptations. Nervously biting your lip, you lean closer to him, and you’re sure going to regret this once you’re sober.

“Prove me wrong, and I’ll retract my statement.”

He could've not known what you meant, but the way his eyes widened made you think otherwise. You send him a flirtatious, yet sweet, smile before letting Erick drag you away.

There was never a dull moment when dancing with Erick. The way he flung his arms around everywhere and his facial expressions always had you laughing. Erick was a good dancer, no doubt about it, but he’s also a goofy guy, and that goofiness is multiplied by ten when he drinks.

Eventually the rest of the boys join you on the dance floor; everyone except Christopher. The longer you danced the longer you overthought the comment you previously made; anxiety begins builds up in your stomach. You try to push the thoughts away and instead focus on the boys in front of you, who were arguing over who was better at dancing bachata.

After what felt like an hour, you leave the group to look for Chris. You begin with where you last left him. Upon not finding him, you turn to the person most likely to have seen him last.

“Excuse me,” You smile at the barista, “have you, by any chance, seen a man with sloppy brown hair, tattoo sleeved arms, and looks like,,, a deer… kinda?”

“The Velez guy that was sitting with you over there?”

“Yes! That one.”

“He left not long after you and el otro muchacho went out to dance.” She gave you an apologetic smile.

The way your heart drops a little is unsettling, so you ignore the feeling and, instead, order one last shot of tequila before heading back to the hotel. You shoot the boys a quick text in the groupchat and head out of the club.

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I’m going back to the hotel, have fun :)

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Zabdi: Who’s taking you?

You’ve been drinking all night

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

I called an uber I'm fine

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: I’m coming with you

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n

 I’m F I N E, enjoy your night

From: Thicc boyz + y/n

Richard: You’re drunk in a big city we don’t know, 

I'm not letting you go alone

                                                                                                To: Thicc boyz + y/n                                                            *not drunk & too late :P

Later, xoxo

You throw your head back on the Uber’s seat with a sigh and close your eyes, feeling a bit dizzy.

“Long night?” The Uber guy asks.

You sigh with a small laugh  “In a way.” Even though it was only two in the morning; at this time people are still drinking non stop.

“Well, I hope whatever is troubling you now resolves itself soon. Remember, everything happens for a reason.”

It was a small but sweet gesture. Maybe your troubles were a bit dumb but he made your feelings validated. Let’s just say, you got back to the hotel safe and sound and with a new friend: Ricky the driver.

The elevator ride to the fourteenth floor was slow and you couldn’t wait to finally relax. You open the door of your room and smile in relief when you kick your heels off. You took a shower, put on your favorite silk pjs, threw a robe over it and flopped on the bed to watch The Lion King (for the hundredth time) with a bowl of grapes. You were in the middle of singing Hakuna Matata when your phone rings.

A notification from Chris pops up.

Christopher:

Did you make it back to the hotel safely? [2:50 am]

Y/N:

I did, thanks for asking [2:51 am]

Where did you go tonight? [2:53 am]

Christopher:

I, uh, had to take care of a little problem [2:54 am]

Y/N

Oh? [1:54 am]

Christopher:

That you caused… [2:54 am]

Y/N:

I’m even more confused  [2:55 am]

Christopher:

Did you mean what you said before? [2:57 am]

Y/N:

What do you mean [2:57 am]

Christopher:

About,,, you know [2:58 am]

Christopher:

Proving you wrong [2:58 am]

Y/N:

Oh, I didn’t not mean it [2:59 am]

Your heart thuds loudly as you anticipate his response

Christopher:

Y/N you’re Richard’s little sister… [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Damn. Bitches just want to be good kissers and end up getting exposed to their brother… I’m bitches :( [3:00 am]

Y/N:

Just say you don’t like me and GO [3:01 am]

Christopher:

I guess I could teach you a thing or two [3:02 am]

That has you sitting up abruptly. Eyes scanning the text over and over. You feel your heart in your throat and, why is it extremely hot all of a sudden? You push yourself off your bed and pace around the room, unsure of what to do or say next.

Your phone dings with another text and you scramble to read it.

Christopher:

Come to my room. [3:05 am]

A101 [3:05 am]

You debate it at first. Coming up with multiple “what if’s” and a long list of things that could go wrong. But at the end of the day you knew this was a one time thing, no strings attached, and a way to practice. So why not?

You’re knocking on room A101’s door sooner than you expected. You look down at your shorts and curse yourself for not wearing something less revealing. A couple seconds pass, enough for you to change your mind, so you turn to walk away.

“A donde vas?”

A voice too familiar says behind you. You slowly face him, heart beating out of your chest and hands a tad clammy.

“Strictly for instructional purposes only?” You raise one eyebrow.

“Nothing more.” He extends his hand and you stare at it for a second before grabbing it. His lips part into a smile and yours return it. Chris pulls you into the room, letting out a small laugh as you trip over your feet. He reaches a hand up to brush through your hair, stopping at your jaw and tracing his thumb all the way to your lips.Your laugh dies down as you see Christopher’s eyes flick to your lips, tongue coming across them in a slow, sultry, motion.

Deep down, you knew you were crossing a line which you couldn’t come back from. And you were worried. Lowkey truly worried. Because there was so much on that line: your friendship with Christopher (one of your best friends), Christopher’s relationship with your Richard (his band mate and best friend) and your relationship with your brother. But all those worries vanish when Chris leans in to press a soft kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then the corner of your lips.

“Step number one.”

[starrysamu]

🥺 will u still be popping by every so often? i also like chatting w u !! im,, glad my words were able to do something. i totally understand about how its easier with the screen,,, o god i ranted and spilled everything out to a friend on here things and felt much better about than when i talked to irls?? it's funny you bring that up because i see myself more as an optimist and i have def not been doing anything to keep me lasting longer aljdfjsf. we're opposites in many ways huh. ⭐ (1/?)

+ but that's okay! I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I've been taking a lil bit better care of myself too so don't worry about me! I'm more worried about you because you've finally gotten through next time and i'm sure it was tiring. i just read through your love letter and it was,, so sweet. i hope you take some time off because you deserve it! and i dunno if you mentioned it, like if ur in school or something but i hope you're focusing on work/studies + taking care of yourself. (2/?) ⭐

+ i think im planning on rereading next time tonight when i finish all the homework i want to finish. also i forgot to mention, your ending to your love letter was so cheesy LOL. but for one thing, (in which i say a lot i think, or rather will say [this may make sense to you later or it'll confuse you more ik im being cryptic LOOOL]) i love how you depicted MC and samu. they are flawed. and they're human. they're perfectly imperfect and i love it. (i forgot what number this was i am smolbrain/?) ⭐

+ this should be the last one. but u know sometimes u have to sand down ur brain to let her grow again. sand away the not so good stuff and grow some better stuff. i dont know what im saying LOL. anyway. take care of yourself! don't burn out! drink water! eat fud! i truly really hope im not annoyign you with these asks. and hopefully i dont annoy you when i reread nexttime alsdjfajf (LAST ONE IDK WHAT NUMBER IT IS) ⭐

the way i’m here more often than i should be ........ i have four minutes before i have to go back to my scheduled Working so let’s see if i can hit every point before then HAHAH

i THINK .... everyone obviously has a lil optimism and pessimism in them and i think whatever mindset keeps u floating rn is what u gotta do. u just gotta survive these days man. like i was reading this article and it was like “your main goal should just be to survive” and it was in ref to corona but i think right now everyone’s kinda feeling that way w everything so idk, being optimistic rn is what’s (sort of) keeping me afloat. of course, that’s changed within the past week i’m ngl HAHAHA

ALSO . I THINK IT WAS YOU. BUT I SAW YOUR REBLOGS. I HOPE IT WAS YOU. OTHERWISE I MADE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF AND WILL MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF RN - 

but when i say i was completely, utterly, absolutely shocked. like i really really mean it, rereading it for ANOTHER TIME? i’m pretty sure that’s 40k+ words easy, AND you took the time to comment what you liked about it too?? I REALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME FEEL. I THINK ABOUT IT QUITE A BIT ACTUALLY. like i’m just so ... so so so honored that someone really took the time out of their day to do that? i dunno. mainly because as time goes on, i think there are a lot more things about next time i would’ve changed, and i ... think it’s just not as good as i thought it was kinda thing? like i thought it was decent but as time keeps going i am less confident in it? i’m not sure how to phrase it any differently i suppose, but frankly i don’t ever want to look at it again. so it’s really really nice for someone to do that because it just makes me really really happy. so thank you, thank you, thank you so so very much for doing that. it really means a ton in ways i cannot express 

ALSO U MIGHT JUST BE ONTO SMTH ABT THAT BRAIN THING. I’M SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT IT. UR RIGHT. also u r NEVER annoying me u are an absolute joy to speak to in fact i hope I’M not annoying you. if i was right as to who you were, i hope you’re having a good break and taking care of yourself when you can! please please get some rest and be sure to hydrate <3 

[mauridianhallow]

A L L O F T H E Q U E S T I O N S

Good shit good shit this took me ages holy hell enjoy you meme loving fucks Q's for you to A Do you have a favourite sweater? I actually do, it's that kinda folded over stretchy grey one I always wear, y'know? I wore it to The 1975 and, from what I hear, it was awesome. (Although I can't remember bc I was Gin Drunk) What’s your middle name? Lawrence...no judgement...Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? I don't, I wonder how's she's doing. Heard she was studying History from her friend I met in a bar one time. Glad to hear, she was nice. Do you get on with your grandparents? I did! Sadly it's been a few years since they passed but I very much did. What was your favourite cartoon as a kid? Hmm, it's a tough one, between the 90's X-Men TV show they played on repeat on Fox Kids or Ben 10 when it wasn't absolute shit like the remake. Yeah I'm bitter. What’s your favourite cartoon now? Archer lol Do you read the news paper? Yeah pretty much every day...I swear I'm not an old man. Who was the last text you sent to? My friend Laura, asking if they'll still be at the park when I finish work. What does the last text you sent say? "Y'all still gonna be there when I get away?" If you could have any hair colour what would it be? Idk I like the one I have. Do you like nature documentaries? Not really my cup of tea to be perfectly honest. What is your aesthetic? Climbing a mountain at a 90° angle in Skyrim on a horse. When did you last pet a dog? ''Twas yesterday. Whose friend’s parents do you like the most? The twins'! They employ me! I literally get paid to hang out with friends some days that's the good shit! Have you ever been on a road trip? I've been on a couple, longest was a drive to Southern Spain from Scotland! Was awesome! Tell me about someone you know called Emma? Went to school with her, cool gal, she saw HP in London and I'm jealous, shoutout to @weewildelassAre you reading a book in english class, what is it? Oh god I'm old. I haven't had or attended an English class in over 2 years. Do you have a favourite Aunt? Well considering she also employs me...hell yeah, shoutout to my Aunt K you legend! Baths or showers? Baths for comfort and treating yo self, or sharing...😏...Showers for quickness and weird snapchats at 3am...😂 Skiing or sun bathing? Sun bathing my dude. Do you kill spiders? Sometimes, sometimes not. Have you ever made an ice pop? I have not. Are you wearing shoes right now? I'm not wearing anything rn. Tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher? Let me tell you about Mrs. Mary "The Bonecrusher" Highland, and how she was such an iconic, legendary, influential and inspiring woman that she was the person you sent into the bad fucked up schools in movies and have them all pass with straight A's, she ran a tough ship and was slow to praise but when she did, she went all out, and made you feel like what you had achieved was truly a feat. Oh and she encouraged children to learn and think for themselves, genuinely encouraged you when you said you were interested in something even when it went above and beyond the curriculum. She was charitable, friendly, and spoke to you like you were an equal, and a worthy one at that. Mrs. Highland was literally so influential in so many people in my class being successful, free minded, hard working adults that she deserves a goddamn award. And let me tell you another thing, at the end of my First Year in College, I went back to my old Primary School for a teaching assistant internship because I knew the school was becoming a bit run-down and out of control and I wanted to help the way that Mrs. Highland had, and who had they just asked to come out of retirement, come back for TWO WEEKS, sort shit out and then walk away into the sunset like some goddamn Old Lady Teaching Avenger who appears when needs were greatest? MARY FUCKING HIGHLAND, I GOT TO HELP ONE OF MY CHILDHOOD HEROES BE AN ABSOLUTE TEACHING LEGEND AND REALLY INFLUENCE SOME GOOD IN A KIDS LIFE, THAT IS THE SHIT! Seriously though, she truly is one of the good ones, they don't make em like Her anymore. Who was the last person you hugged? I think that would be my mother actually hahah. Do you wear glasses? Occasionally. Do you have a cat? I sadly do not. Do you have a favourite pair of underwear? Not a favourite pair exactly more like a favourite kind?? Next All-Black, that's the good shit, makes my ass look great among other things. What was your last tweet? "How the fuck do you work twitter" about 5 years ago and I haven't used it since. Do you still use Facebook? I do, rarely. Do you like birds? Aye pal birds, blokes, the lot. Who was the last person you called cute? That genuinely would be my niece, or you lol Who was the last person that called you cute? This is a strange answer but a regular in my work. Long story. How did you meet your best friend? I literally turned a corner and ran into a group of emo's in like Fourth Year at High School and I haven't looked back since. Escalators or elevators? Nah m8, trick question, I'd rather take the stairs. Does wonders for the thighs. Are you named after anyone, who? Ahaha yeah my dad, both my granddads, and Saint. Christoper (Catholic mum yo) What was your first url? I have no idea. Autumn or Winter? Winter I can't lie. Do you win at scrabble? I do not lol Put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? "American Idiot", Green Day. Classic. Have you ever drunk from a mason jar? I have not. Can you draw? Barely even write m8 let alone draw. What was your first profile picture? I think it was Kenny from South Park. Favourite t-shirt? God I have no idea. Best tumblr friend? Shoutout to @bepizzazzed and @double-dorks-beanie and @hesitant-butthole When did you last run? Tonight when as a joke my friends took my jacket and tried to get it on top of a climbing frame? lol I had it back in seconds and decided to get some payback ahah Do you like to paint your nails? Not particularly fussed, not a look I could pull off. Did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? I did more things to get me into trouble as a kid that anyone should ever do. And I still did it. Who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? Trick question, all of them. Have you ever been drunk? Literally so many times. So many. Have you ever done something you regret while drunk? Some-thing? Some-one? Getting into a slutty dance off with a professional dancer? Stealing a mannequin? The exact words "I can easily make this jump..."? The exact words "Watch this lads"? The exact words "Shots won't do me any harm"? The exact words "Another Venom? Aye no bother!" The exact words "You can crash at mine if you like...?" You get the picture...I do messed up shit I'm drunk, and yet, I continue to do so. Do you want to kiss anyone right now? Ronald McDonald ngl for the sweet sweet invention of double cheeseburgers. Do/did you like you math teacher? I had a crush on both of my maths teachers, Mr. Kelly and Mrs. Hendry, both of which contributed to me turning up to class, but also contributed to me failing said classes bc I was too busy looking at them and being a hormone ridden, horny 16 year old boy, than I was doing maths. Do you often ride the bus? I do, everyday I'm in College. Do you have a fireplace in your house? We do actually it's getting renovated right now. Are you violent when you’re angry? God no! Do you cry when you’re angry? No, I rarely get angry and when I do it can only be described as dry anger. Favourite Harry Potter book? It has to be OotP, fight me. Can you remember your last dream? I can, and let me just say, Chris Pratt, thank you. Do you go to bed early or late? "Do I go to bed?" would be a better question. Do you speak a second language? I speak various levels of different languages. Some if you dropped me in their respective countries I could find my way about, albeit difficultly, and others I can ask for the bar and the bill and that's about it. Who was your first ever best friend? A boy called Dean. Have you ever had an operation? I've had a couple yeah. Tell me about your favourite cousin? His name is Reece and he's a meme loving shit and I love him the whacky bastard. Do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? During what can only be described as the Greatest Summer of My Teenage Years; the Legendary Summer of 2014, I wore on my feet almost EVERY DAY a pair of Classic Chuck's, they cost my poor wee mum like £60 the Christmas before but they were too big and when it finally hit summer they fit perfectly. I wore them every time. If you've ever read the book Me Before You or watched the film you'll know what I mean when I say they were my bumblebee tights. Have you ever been in a musical? I played the Cowardly Lion in my school play as a kid. Do you have a porch? I do not. How many times have you watched your favourite movie? At least 100 no joke it has to be. Empire Strikes Back. What do you order at McDonalds? Plain double cheese , small fries, Oasis Summer Fruits and maybe a coffee. Do you get on with old people? Worryingly well. Science Fiction or Romance? Sci-Fi m8. Do you take naps? Anytime I can. How many classes do you/did you take in High School? In my final year I took 3 classes. At its height I think I was doing 9 classes. When did it last snow where you live? A few months back. Does it ever snow where you live? It's Scotland...hahah it very much does. How many months until your birthday? 12 m8. How much charge does your computer have right now? 42%What is your favourite Disney Channel Original Movie? I don't actually think I had one. Sorry. the City or the Sea Side? Jokes on you fool, you can have both. What is your least favourite colour? Beige. Who tf likes being beige. Do you have homework to do? Nah. Are you still friends with your first best friend? I am not. Do you have/are you the gay cousin? I have an asexual cousin, bug more often than not I'm the gay cousin. Do you own dungarees? They can look cute on peeps. Do you like to play sport? I do, not to the extent I used to but yeah. What was your favourite ever Christmas present? My baby nephew. How old are you? Ugh I'm 20. Do you ever use Internet Explorer? Not for s long time. Have you ever had blonde hair? I haven't no. I wanted to but sadly I was a kid. When did you last see the person you have a crush on? Well considering I fall deeply in love with strangers who are nice to me on the train, that question is crazy. Who did you last talk to on the phone? Laura. Pants or Dresses? This question is a lot funnier in the UK and even funnier in Scotland where a man can wear one, but to do so, he's not supposed to wear the other 😉 Do you read fan fiction? Not anymore y'know. What is you’re favourite blog? @mauridianhallow is a pretty cool blog you should check that shit out Do you write poetry? I HAVE written poetry before. Drama or Comedy? How dare you insult The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt by suggesting you can't be both. Have you ever had a hickey? Perhaps...perhaps I have. Perhaps I cannot remember how I got some of them. Perhaps I should stop buying the ENTIRE bar a round of shots knowing all too well that almost every one of these people will offer to buy me drinks all night and then I won't pay shit for another drink until the night is over. Perhaps I should...I won't but I fucking should. And perhaps this has on certain occasions resulted in hickeys I don't know.

[rassasassalin]

So, I suppose this is a way to start the show.  Nice to see that it was just a mistake on thrusday to play out Ziggler’s theme.  And by nice, I mean awful.  I know it’s supposed to get under my skin, and it works.  Just play the damn theme.

Interesting that Baron’s seeming to start a trend of going shirtless now.  I’d be okay with him tearing his tank off each match, honestly.

Still haven’t decided if they added Ziggler in so that Bobby doesn’t have to eat a pin, or so Baron doesn’t have to.  All I know is that someone’s being protected, and it ain’t Dolph.- I SAY AS DOLPH PINS BARON??? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE???  Ahaha, glad I don’t ever actually place bets on these things, holy shit, wow, okay, you got my attention, Clash of Champions.

Shane’s custom made Ref shirt.  I want a special referee shirt that customized towards my own themes.

SHANE YOU’VE BEEN IN MATCHES WITH TWO REFS AT THE SAME TIME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

Aiden’s looking nice.  I love his jackets.  I want his jackets.

Omg listen to them chanting Rusev Day I’m so happy what a good Bulgarian.  What a happy Rusev Day to us all!  AND WE GET ALL OF THE SONG!!!!!!  A whole month or Rusev, how exciting!!!  Fuck me sideways we’re Actually Getting The Whole Song, What voodoo magic has Aiden done to allow himself to go uninterrupted?  YES I WANT AN ENCORE!!!!!!!  Oh, oh ok, i see how this is.  Gable and Benjamin running for heel tagteam of the year.  I get it.

Those fucking pancakes.  I can’t even.  They make me feel emotions that I simply don’t have the capacity to parse through and understand.

Baby boy, no, ain’t no one singing about Christmas you sillies.  Rusev Day. (good crowd interaction though i’m impressed)

(Also don’t worry Simmon in the first row, we’ll see the Ascension tonight, I almost guarantee it.  Undoubtedly when they cost Breezango a win tonight.)

This is gonna be fucking chaos, but of the impressively athletic variety.  Wonder how long it will be before Xavier gets involved, considering it’s a No DQ.

“No it’s not, it’s Training Day”- Chad Gable, 2017

Things I just realized that I would kind of enjoy- the Usos and New Day getting twin pins, and them being forced to share the Tag Team Belts.  Co-Belt defenders makes for all kind of fun shenanigans.  I look back fondly on when Jericho had to share the Intercontinental Title with Chyna.

Rusev’s face when Aiden’s super sexy pin didn’t work.

Holy SHITE GABLE that’s beautiful, rolling bridging german suplexes That’s what I signed up to See.

...Aw......  Well, it was a damn good attempt Chad.  Like that they’re letting him go out looking strong at least.

And speaking of chaotic matches.  Kinda see Natti stealing a win outta this one, but also Charlotte does have a damn good record at PPVs, soooo...  anyone’s game I guess.  Also when did we stop calling it lumberjill matches???  Did I miss the memo?  I’m cool with it, don’t particularly care either way honestly, just find it kind of odd.  Maybe because they’re afraid it’ll remind people that Jillian and her really bad pop singer gimmick was a thing.  Can’t blame you WWE, those were dark times.  Not as dark as the time that the Boogeyman ate a mole off her face, but still dark.

Fucking love Ruby’s theme, it’s great.  Also I like how all the “teams” have like, taken their own sides of the ring.  Y’all can’t do that.  There’s not enough of you to fully circle the ring, so you gotta plan smart and like, circle around it where Charlotte and Natti are gonna be.

Come on Corey, Charlotte’s not totally surrounded by enemies.  Naomi’s out there.  ehehe, nattie has 12000 cats.  best quote from corey graves of the year.

Don’t call my riot squad jackals.  They’re more like... hyena’s.  Just probably without pseudo-dicks, but definitely with all of the viciousness.

Interesting that the Riot squad’s let Natti get hit, but got a couple of little licks in on Charlotte.  Hmmm.

Yep, okay, things are about to get messy.  Carmella’s gonna be the first to be murdered.

Thank you for the Eddie quote, Corey.  Amen.

“Boo...”- Byron Saxton 2017

I can’t believe it took this long to- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING- oh my god, thank you Ruby.  No cashing in money in the bank tonight, thank you.

Things I kinda enjoy about wrestling- when a wrestler gets a wedgie and then they try to sneakily pull it out while acting like they’re super in pain.

Not how I thought that match was gonna end, but not bad.

...Nat, you were already a heel, you’d already had your back turned to the crowd, I don’t know how that’s supposed to work???

BREEZE I AM TRYING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN I AM IN SHOCK AT THE SHORTS YOU’RE DARING TO WEAR INTO THIS RING???  Never, In ALL OF MY DAYS...!

RIP in Peace, Breezango.

Seriously, I thought for sure the Ascension was going to come out and fuck things up for them.  Or fuck them up. ...On tuesday, then.  They’ll either keep talking Breezango into trying and fight the Bludgen Bros, or they’re going to try and “defend their honor” by going up against them themselves.

How’s it gonna work with two refs, babe, honestly.  WIth Shenanigans.  It’s gonna work with shenanigans.  Also who was Sami trying to seduce at the start of this match???  Also hello again like 2013 Randy Orton Hair.

Byron “I’m a very confused boy and that makes me grumpy” Saxton.

I’m sorry, I just can’t be intimidated by heel Sami, like he’s so cute when he he’s all smug and shit like he’d have to do something seriously villainess shit to get any actual heat from me.  I’m talking like, spitting in the direction of someone’s baby level of assholery.  And I just can’t see him doing it.  So he’ll just continue to b my cute lil’ heel that could. “I think I can be bad, I think I can be bad, I think I can be bad!”

Dramatic Ref DB is great.  I love him.  I love when rasslers go in and take the Referee role, like they’re always so expressive with their gesticulations, like their such drama queens I love it.

Great camerawork, thanks, I love it when I don’t actually get to see the triangle locked in and jst get to hear about it.  After all, it’s not like I watch wrestling to actually see the moves or anything.

Honestly, if Shinsuke gets pinned tonight I’m gonna be annoyed.  I know he’s going to lose, because obviously, but like, it’s not going to hurt Randy any to eat a pin.  Wont kill his momentum.  But I feel like it could do some serious damage to Shinsuke.

Goodnight, sweet table, I knew ye well.

Ok, that was a hot powerslam by Randy, ngl.

Whoopsidaisey, here we go.  I thought it’d be Shane pushed into Daniel, but this works too.

Gasp!!!  Shane!!!!  You brought that fast count upon yourself.

Yep!  Yep!  Yep!

FUCK MY LIFE I forgot about the AJ Jinder match I turned off the app after the last match oops, ahaha, came to the realization just in time and turned it back on right as the match started ahahaaaaa says a lot about how I feel about this ppv that I totally forgot about the actual main event....

Welp, this is the best heeling that I’ve seen Jinder do so far, so respect for that.

Just noticed that the announce Desk got put back together.  That bothers me.  If it’s broken guys, leave it be.  Let it be a reminder of what happened earlier in the night, even if it was only one match earlier.

Way better ring psychology going on in this on than I thought there would be.  Ribs and legs, it’s good stuff.  Everyone came out looking better for it.  It’s nice.  Not a bad ending. -seriously hope AJ’s ribs are okay though some of those bumps looked really fucking nasty-