#They put a toilet in my gacha game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hungnitan · 2 years ago

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HSR Little Review

Before I started rambling too long, this game release today (April 26) so this review came from someone just played the game for moreless 8 hours straight and know HI3 & Genshin (fyi now I'm level 20)

First the gameplay, to put it simple, this game had HI3 half open world like gameplay (Sakura Samsara open world and APHO2) but turn based style. Tbh, I can say HSR is like Hoyo product to learn their issues in HI3 and GI since I found some not enjoyable gimmick in HI3 open world and GI style but become better in HSR.

Second the story, I guess it's what I expect from Hoyo since the weight of stories really hard to learn at start (lol). Despite that, I think we should mention the non skipable story. Non skipable story are good since it means lesser fake account tbh me too almost want to throw my acc since I don't get bronya in newbie gacha lol

Third the difficulities, maybe I kinda forgot FGO but I think HSR pretty hard itself. To simply put at my current level there was 2 hard bosses part, dragon like things with Himeko trial then the robot always with Clara one. For my cases I got some good *4 in newbie gacha earlier like Asta to support Himeko, Tingyun and Natasha even my March7 got into C3 lol so those cases not really happened to me in bad ways

Fourth the puzzle, some puzzle hiding in weird places like trashbag or closet or even a toilet ? But some main puzzle moreless same like HI3 and GI but upgrade one

Last the gems farming, is this just me or HSR farming really hard ! I become anxious if I can't get Seele now (so far it's my 30 pull). Before anyone asked, yeah I'm woman and love Seele more than Jing Yuan (lol)

PS : I laughed hard while doing test run, the *4 trial characters feels sooo hard to played but when try Seele everything die so fast !

My conclusion : Will continue depend if I can get Seele or not (or if good enough spoke by Bronya lol) but in the end I won't spend any irl money here. No hard feelings but turn based game isn't that worth the money

But why Seele ? Aside the fact I love her (lol), I think Seele will powercreep the game for some while (like Venti)

Plus on the other sidenote, I want play Wuthering when release too...

#honkai star rail #hsr #tingyun

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rosymaplemoth · 6 years ago

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Headshot

Wordcount: 1571 words Pairing: Souda x OC (Yamamoto Keiko) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Annoying boners and jerking off in the bathroom

because it was only a manner of time before I lewded this guy.

If you want more information on Keiko, I’ve put it up on twitter. In fact, I’m mostly posting this here so I can link it on my twitter, oops.

---

It’s cold.

I mean, it makes sense given that it’s January, but it’s still annoying.

Even in a tiny studio apartment that you think would be easy to heat, the cold seeps through the walls and chills the occupants.

The kotatsu is fine well into the evening, but once it’s time to unfurl the futons…

That’s how this whole predicament started.

Sheepish glances when one thought the other wasn’t looking, awkward shifting under the covers, night by night the futons creeping closer and closer together.

Yamamoto Keiko rolls over one night and looks at Souda Manabu. He’s so close that she could brush a stray hair out of his eyes if she reached out.

His eyes flick up from the phone in his hand.

“What’re you staring at? You’re being weird.”

“I wasn’t staring.”

“Buuuuullshit. What, can’t stop thinking about how cool your boyfriend is? Hehe!”

Keiko sighs and rolls onto her back. He was acting childish, but it still made her face heat up.

“I was just thinking about how cold it is.”

“Man, you can’t think about something more interesting?” Souda’s question is punctuated by a victory jingle ringing from his phone. “Woo-hoo, one-shot kill! Hehehehe, I’ve still got it!”

“STILL got it?” Keiko rolls onto her side to face him again. “You make it sound like you haven’t been able to play a lot, Manabu.”

Souda’s eyebrows furrow as his lips draw thin. “I haven’t! It’s been hard as hell keeping up since I’ve got this job, you know.” He pauses to sniff indignantly. “Plus, you know… I have a girlfriend to take care of now.”

“Oh, poor thing.”

Souda’s tongue hangs out as he laughs impishly. “Hey, my rank’s slipped a lot because of you! So?” His expression grows serious. “How are you going to make it up to me?”

Keiko’s eyes snap open. “Huh?”

Souda keeps on staring, until eventually his frown twitches and he bursts into more obnoxious laughter.

“Man, look at how red your face got! Tch, I was thinking you owed me a gacha pull or two… the hell’s on your mind? Per-vert!”

“I am not! Honestly!” Keiko wraps herself up in her blanket and rolls over so she doesn’t have to see his grin.

“Aw, come on, Cake. Your face is so red that you’re probably hotter than the kotatsu!”

Keiko’s ears perk when she hears the ‘AFK’ notification come from his phone.

….

She can feel him staring at her back…

Finally, she hears the covers shift.

“You and I both know how damn cold it is in here. …Come on. Heat us both up, why don’tcha?”

Keiko peeks back over her shoulder. A part of her is tempted to just say ‘nope’ and tease him more for his bad behavior, but…

He actually minimized his game.

“… You aren’t afraid I’ll do something perverted to you?”

“The hell do you think you’re talking to? I could totally take you if you tried anything!”

That confident smile of his is really cute… and he actually bothered to minimize his game…

Still trying to hide her red cheeks, Keiko slips out from under her blanket and darts under the covers on Souda’s futon.

It’s much warmer under there, though Keiko jolts when she remembers that they’re in their sleepwear. Souda usually only wears a game t-shirt and underwear to bed, and she’s reminded very much of that fact when their bare legs touch.

Keiko thinks she catches a glimpse of his blush before he yanks her towards him and turns her around, resting his chin on her head as he takes the role of ‘big spoon’.

“Come on, Cake… we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, right? This is how we’re supposed to do things… right?”

Keiko sighs as she shifts so her back is against Souda’s torso. She can practically feel his heartbeat drumming against her, and it makes her smile as she closes her eyes.

But she frowns when she feels Manabu move his arm and the telltale ‘beep beep’ of his game restarting.

“Manabu…”

“What? It’s multitasking, babe!”

-----

An hour passes in comfort. Even Souda shuts off his game a little quicker than usual. With Keiko asleep, he quietly leans down and kisses the top of her head. The fragrance of her hair is light and unobtrusive. Souda thinks that something like peach or strawberry would suit her better, but her job’s pretty strict about perfumes and scents.

“Mm…”

Souda freezes when Keiko stirs in her sleep. Not that he was embarrassed or anything, but it’d be a pain if she woke up all of a sudden!

But she just scooches back, shifting comfortably against her boyfriend for warmth.

Shifting… shifting…

…

That rubbing feels good…

She’s warm, too...

Souda’s eyes widen when he feels himself stirring—oh, hell no! No way, God should have more control than this--!

But it’s too late, his dick is standing practically straight up. Souda can hear his own pulse throbbing in his ear drums, mimicked by that idiot thing between his legs that seems to think that NOW is a good time to demand attention.

He hasn’t been this hard in a long time. He password protected his naughtier mobage games ever since he started dating Keiko, but he still played them when she wasn’t home. It isn’t like he’s been neglecting it or anything, so why is it so damn stiff?!

Souda shifts, trying to move it away from Keiko. He’d be in a hell of a lot of trouble if she woke up being poked in the ass by his stiffy.

Their first time is going to be hella romantic. He’ll lay her down on his futon with her hair streaming out behind her and make love to her until she’s trembling and crying his name like, “Ma—na-buuuu---!!”

Hehe…

…Okay, imagining that REALLY isn’t helping right now.

He closes his eyes and tries to ignore it, but…

Keiko stirs in her sleep again, drawn back against his warmth with a satisfied sigh.

D-Damnit, she feels so soft…

Souda reaches down with trembling fingers and tries to stash his erection away, but it just pops back up.

He shoves it down again.

Boing!

“G-Ghh…”

He can’t stop it.

Shaking his head, Souda quickly rolls over and gets out of the futon, doing his best not to disturb Keiko sleeping next to him.

“Mm… Mana-chan…?”

“Gwuh?!”

She sounds so cute and sleepy, he can’t even be mad at that stupid nickname! But she can’t see him like this--!

Souda quickly pulls the front of his shirt down over his underwear and yells a little too loudly: “G-Gotta pee!” before stumbling into the bathroom.

He hears Keiko sigh and roll over as he shuts the door behind him.

Yeah, yeah that’s all… he just had to get up and go to the bathroom, that’s all.

But as Souda shoves his underwear down, his penis springs up to full attention, revealing his lie.

Damn, it’s really throbbing!

With a muttered curse, Souda gently pokes the pink head protruding from his foreskin.

“Annoying…”

With a grimace he wraps his hand around the shaft, beginning to tug at himself. He feels harder than the barrel of a gun, and that hardness pulses when it finally receives attention.

He closes his eyes and bites his lip to hold back the moan threatening to escape his throat.

Even with fabric separating them, Souda could feel the plushness of Keiko’s body when she pushed herself back against him.

He loosens his grip, thinking about how soft and gentle she’d be rubbing on him.

Precum has already started dribbling from his slit, and Souda rubs the wetness over the tip with his thumb.

Her lips feel great, too, they feel just as soft as the rest of her when they kiss. The thought of them puckering, kissing more than just his lips, roaming down and finally parting to pleasure this throbbing thing—

Souda convulses, his legs trembling as his dick begins to spit out its sticky orgasm.

“Shit!” he groans as he arches his back, watching with a grimace as it lands on the tile above the toilet. He usually doesn’t shoot that far…

“H-Heh… headshot…”

-----

Keiko looks at the bathroom door, unknowingly mimicking her boyfriend by biting her lip.

Souda thought he had held it back, but his pleasured groan reached Keiko’s ears and keeps on repeating in her mind.

More importantly-- and he didn’t even realize he did this— Keiko heard him say her name. No, he moaned it in the middle of his fantasy.

Embarrassed by the smile creeping on her face, Keiko rolls over so she’s facing away from the door.

It’s too late for tonight, but next time, maybe…

Keiko flinches when she hears the door open and Souda trudge back around to the futon.

“Huh? You’re up?”

“Ah, no, just… the bathroom light…”

“Yeah, well, when I get darkvision you’ll be the first one to know, Cake.”

Souda flops into the bed with an exhausted sigh and pulls Keiko to him like she’s a pillow.

When their bodies press against each other, Keiko can feel his softening erection against her leg. He probably doesn’t even realize it.

She smiles a little to herself, allowing her mind to wander.

Finally, she takes a deep breath. “Manabu?”

But he’s breathing deeply, and a contented, sleepy mumble is the only answer she gets.

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face-palming-fox · 2 years ago

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meh my dinner said ‘feel miserable bitch’ so now i wanna lay down instead of be productive like i planned..

and instead i’ma do a l’il bitchin’ post cos i’m a bit grumpy today after glancing a video about something i was looking forward to. but over all, i think it’s just kinda really sad and disappointing there is like... absolutely zero reason to look forward to shit anymore? or be excited about things? because as soon as you get invested into it... it goes to hell or something happens to leave a bad taste in your mouth about it.

kinda ridin’ off of my disappointment of sky cotl yesterday, cos the fact i spent real money for in game items that i THOUGHT i was getting and yet you still need to spend IN GAME currency as well to even reap any rewards from your real money is a fucking scam. and i normally don’t spend money on IAP/microtransaction games and gacha like this cos.. it’s all a scam and i got more important things to spend my cash on but when i do get excited about something and justify spending a l’il cash this is the reward i get? i have to grind away to get anything? i mean there’s a lot they grant you with the money.. if you can unlock it.. but yeesh. not a good look when i was feeling pretty good about the game and it’s balancing. it’s worse than i thought under the surface.

but today’s gripe is... it’s been what.. two.. three.. idk how many years now of hazbin/helluva branding and advertising and merch selling and what not. i’m not even excited about either series now. people argue that ‘oh don’t be made about the changes in hazbin, they did it in helluva’ they didn’t change every voice actor, very few had design changes and it stayed relatively the same as the pilot. not to mention it was hyped less (imo) and advertised/merch sold less than hazbin. i glanced a vid today talking about helluva update and drama. apparently there’s legal issues preventing it from moving forward plus a lot of va’s have crossed over doing hazbin too which.. feels like??? bad planning on productions part? like why would you have one team of cast working on two shows? you could’ve oh idk.. kept the original cast of hazbin who a lot weren’t in helluva as far as i know.. and had two shows releasing side by side without much waiting but y’know what do i know about anything.

as far as the redesigning... why are they even redesigning them? i see everyone so hype about the redesigns and what not and.. i just think they’re completely stupid and useless. literally angel and alastor didn’t change really at all (except i hate angel’s white gloves.. his arms/hands are white.. why give him why gloves as well? the red contrasted with his body..) and they prolly made those decisions because all hell would’ve broken loose if they had change their original designs too much being the most popular charas. i do like charlie’s hair more in the redesign, it makes more sense and looks better visually, i miss her dark eyes because yes she’s a demon but i think it gave her that doe-eyed hopeful look since she’s not like.. (as far as we’ve seen) an EVIL demon? so the red eyes just kinda don’t make sense to me but w/e, i don’t hate them.

but what doesn’t make ANY sense to me at all.. is making everyone look the same. take away the contrast, put vaggie in the same color palette... who else is just gonna be red/black/white instead of having unique design and looking like separate charas. like if it was just a hotel uniform costume? okay sure. but... why did they take her clothes design away completely? (i’m not much of a fan of vaggie anyway) idk. it’s getting to the point where i feel like i should give these two series the ‘voltron’ treatment and just.. not watch anymore so i don’t absolutely hate the show for every choice they’ve made that put it in the toilet.

i love so many charas and it’s rare when i like a bunch of charas in a show rather than a select two or three so.. kinda just feels like they’re shooting these two shows in the foot. i’ve already been a bit sus of v/ivzie anyway cos i’ve seen rumors float around about her here and there anyway but it’s the internet as well so i dunno what exactly all that’s about but damn man.. can i have anything to enjoy/look forward to/continue to be a fan of?

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onebloodsoakedlion · 2 years ago

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This is Part 2 of me shitting on Gacha Logic™ by presenting what would REALLY happen as a result of some of the situations portrayed in cringy Gacha content.

These strips are based on things that have actually been made using Gacha Life (and have ended up on places like r/GachaLifeCringe): 1. "In love with X" GLMMs that happen to contain INAPPROPRIATE and ILLEGAL relationships, such as a teacher falling in love with a student, or someone falling in love with their brother/sister. Except instead of legal action being sucessfully taken (such as the teacher getting arrested for basically being a pedo), the relationship is successful on top of being portrayed as just a quirky relationship that is about as harmless as gay marriage. 2. Hated Child Stories where the parents not only start hating on the titular child as soon as it is born, but vocalise their hate for the child, possibly in front of nurses and doctors! But instead of any of the hospital staff intervening, they just think nothing of the hateful comments hurled at a NEWBORN and let them take the child home to hate on it even more. 3. A lot of toilet humour/fetish content (holding your pee, gacha farts, etc.). Attempting to replicate ANY of these actions in real life can result in some serious consequences for your physical health. For example, holding your pee for too long can result in a Urinary Tract Infection. 4. GLMMs that place canonically superhuman characters in situations that would normally be dangerous to normal people, but not to them, such as My Hero Academia characters being put through Squid Game. But instead of these supposedly superhuman characters remembering their powers and using them to escape or eliminate the situation, they suffer and/or die as though they were just regular people. 5. GLMMs where the main protagonist is sent to a school meant for something that they're not (e.g. a girl in an all-boys' school). But instead of the parents trying to find a school that lacks similar restrictions, being unable to enroll their child there, or the child being denied entry to a school that they frankly shouldn't be allowed into, they are somehow allowed in and are able to be a student there, with the only obstacle being the other kids, who they don't get along with for obvious reasons.

#gacha life #gacha club #gacha logic #reality ensues #what if #tw paedophilia #tw child abuse #tw school shooting #fbi open up #i want the police arrest warrant panel to be a meme #or just a variant of fbi open up

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shiroiraiha · 7 years ago

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do you have any places you'd recommend visiting in japan? or any tips? especially as a naruto fan? (i'm thinking of traveling there next year so i'd love to hear your thoughts) thank you in advance! i love your blog

Thank you and yes definitely! I’ve only been to Tokyo and around Mount Fuji (Fujinomiya and Kamakura) so I can only give you advice for these areas but I experienced a lot so I definitely have a lot to share lol (also feel free to message me if you have any specific questions!)

Also this got super long so I’ll put a keep reading line here lol

Okay so here are some tips I learned for traveling in Japan:

- They are a cash based society so credit/debit cards aren’t accepted in most places (even restaurants and stores won’t take them)

- If you’re not used to traveling by subway and figuring out how to get around apps like Google Maps and Japan Transit can be a lifesaver

- If you’re going to be in a specific city for a while look into getting an IC card for the subway since they are easier to manage than the tickets (when using tickets you put it into the stall but make sure you take it back before going through! You’ll have to put it into the stall when you get to where you are going - does that make sense lol)

- The Google Translate app has a camera function for reading Kanji and Kana on signs and translating it and it’s actually very useful! (Most major signs in Tokyo like at train/subway stations will have English but if you’re going into the countryside this won’t be the case.)

- Not as many people speak English as you would think so learn some basic phrases you can use to help you get around (like asking if they speak English or how to ask where something is - message me if you’d like to know how to say some stuff!)

- Look up how to use their toilets!! Japanese bathrooms are awesome (and so are their toilets haha) but everything is usually in Kanji so it would be helpful to look up the Kanji for flush (大 - big flush; 小 - little flush) (and other stuff if you wanna use the bidet, etc)

- Usually when trying on clothes you have to take your shoes off before entering the dressing room (and always before entering someone’s house!)

- As weird as it sounds, convenience stores are your best friend (7/11, Lawson, Family Mart). Unlike in the States these stores are actually convenient lol they have a ton of food (like onigiri, soba, etc!) and anything you might need/want quickly like paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, band aids, water, dish detergent, sweets, tights, hair dye, etc. They also all have atms that accept most American cards (this is where I took out money all the time).

- Also research general manners in Japan, every culture has their own way of doing things and it would be polite to learn a little of what they see as polite or rude (wouldn’t want to be a gaijin offending everyone by accident lol)

That’s all I can think of for now lol one thing that really helped me get ready to visit Japan was watching a bunch of vlogs about people living in Japan (mostly Tokyo). I thought they were a lot of fun to watch and I learned a lot about what to expect when I got there. Two of my favorites are Sharla in Japan / Sharmander and Rachel and June.

In terms of Naruto stuff in Tokyo:

I 100% recommend going to J-World Tokyo - it’s only like $10 and you get to walk around this whole area that’s completely Naruto themed (complete with ninja throwing star games, a replica of Ichiraku Ramen, and Naruto music playing over the speakers). It’s completely awesome (I was losing my shit) and definitely worth the money! The area also has a One Piece and Dragon Ball section. Plus J-World is located in the mall that also has the Pokémon Center and a lot of nice shopping.Next I’d recommend definitely visiting Akihabara. This is basically a section of Tokyo that’s famous for all it’s anime/manga related stores like Animate (like a 7 story store where each floor has something different and anime related) which is where I bought some Naruto art books and used Naruto manga (obviously it’s all in Japanese but still cool to have some originals - the manga looks different in Japan - and art books are mostly pictures). Around this area you’ll find a huge amount of anime related goods from books to plushies to gacha machines. Definitely visit Animate (and Super Potato if you’re into video games) but otherwise just walk around the main strip and there’ll be so many random stores you’ll be drawn into. (The Sega arcades are also a ton of fun - Japanese arcades rock!).My last Naruto/anime related spot in Tokyo would be Nakano Broadway which is like a giant mall in Tokyo full of anime/manga/cosplay related stores (among other things). A lot here I believe is used but used things in Japan aren’t like in the States - everything (mostly) is in good quality (I got a couple Naruto and Inuyasha original mangas here too). This place is like 6 floors and is HUGE. Not everything is anime related in here but most stores are and it’s fun to wander each floor to see what cool stuff you can find.Honestly Tokyo is full of anime (like I mean it’s literally everywhere) and Naruto is very popular (plus Boruto is airing now) so you’re bound to see something Naruto or Boruto related sooner or later even if you don’t visit these places.

Non Naruto Recommendations:

Alright so I don’t know if you watch Studio Ghibli movies but if so I definitely recommend going to the Studio Ghibli museum in Tokyo. It’s only about $10 and, I can’t stress this enough, IT’S AMAZING!! I honestly wasn’t expecting much but let me tell you it is so cool inside it’s 100% worth it (unfortunately can’t take pics inside). But be careful because you have to get tickets like a month in advance and they only go on sale for a specific day every month - here’s where you can find information about the tickets

I would also recommend visiting some shrines and temples while you’re there. They are all very beautiful and even if you can’t read about the history they are really cool to see plus it’s cool to be able to participate in this part of their culture by prayer, fortune telling in the bigger ones and/or collect the shrine stamps. I went to a few but the big ones that were really cool in Tokyo were the Meiji Shrine and Sensoji Temple (Sensoji is really cool as it’s in Asakusa and has a huge market full of awesome things to buy leading up to it and you could even rent a kimono to wear for the day!).

If you’re interested in shopping (for clothes and just awesome Japanese things like plushies, accessories, etc) Definitely check out Takeshita street in Harajuku, Tokyo. There’s soooo much shopping and even if you don’t wanna buy anything it’s a lot of fun to see the cool fashion everyone is wearing or to just browse through the array of stores (definitely check out Kiddy Land btw it’s so cute you’ll wanna die…in a good way lol).

Mount Fuji, of course, is beautiful. I didn’t get to actually see it much because apparently in summer and early fall it’s surrounded by clouds a lot but the little I did see of it was breathtaking. I also climbed it which is the hardest thing I’ve ever done (and completely out of character like exercise? me???) but it was really awesome lol

Alright that ends my extremely long recommendations for Japan lmao (I’m sorry! Why did this become so long lol) I hope this wasn’t boring af but if you ever want some more specifics please feel free to message me or send another ask if you’d prefer (though it’d be easier to talk back and forth on messages)

#anon #asks #advice #long post #my trip to japan

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otto-apocalypse · 4 years ago

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Thank you. Honkai Impact 3rd, alongside Fate/Grand Order, no matter the salt, is the only game I play both for characters, story and gameplay. Things WORKS, both on a gameplay perspective, and on a writing level. Of course I know I will have problems with that in the future since my favourite character is one of the “villains” and I have very little hope for a happy ending for him but that’s another story. Kiana’s relationship with Mei, Kallen’s relationship with Sakura, or even the one between Bronya and Seele, is always presented like... normal. It’s not that common in today’s media. It’s never openly said that “these characters are lesbians and in love with each other”, but it’s not even subtext like in many other stories. It’s just accepted as a fact, as a part of their personalities, not something to hide in fear of omophobes, not something to put under the spotlight to show how progressive they are. (let’s remember that they’re still China-based). Honkai Impact 3rd is a game I would totally recommend (if you have a pc to play it on or a modern smartphone because heck, this game’s HEAVY) I started playing at the end of January 2019 and never once I regretted playing it. Yes, I spent some money on it and got my dose of salt, but there’s not gacha game who doesn’t do that. If I wanted a game with no salt I would’ve downloaded Candy Crush or some other toilet puzzle game. In the end, yes, please play Honkai Impact 3rd.

To be honest, Honkai Impact's gay representation is suspect. HI3rd's target audience is the male demographic and it's playerbase is overwhelmingly male.

As seen above are stigmata versions of in-game costumes. What is sexy or not is subjective, but these clearly appear to be attempts at sexualization. These costumes and others show that the developers monetize the game through sexualizing the girls (and capitalizing on gambling addicts along with people obessed with staying meta, but I digress).

The point I'm getting at is that the lesbian relationships present in the game are more for fetishization than good faith attempts at representation. I'm not saying you can't enjoy HI3rd with it's compelling gameplay and story, but I'm not sure it should be touted as gay representation.

#honkai #honkai posts reminds me I have to update my fic

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gunnerpalace · 8 years ago

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Everyone “Smart” in Bleach is Actually Stupid as Hell

I’m angry about PVP in Brave Souls so I’ve decided to focus that energy into something that’s been gnawing at me.

I think it's pretty easy to take for granted that Aizen was chilling out, screwing around with Las Noches and the Espada and all his nonsense in Soul Society, because he was busy doing "research" to produce Wonderweiss. Literally nothing else mattered to him except nullifying Yamamoto. (Put another way: he was trying to cheese the raid by waiting for a 100% fire resist link to drop from the gacha.) Which is why he tried to kill Harribel himself for no good reason: dude didn't care, all that was a game.

Fine, fair enough, whatever.

But what the fuck were Kisuke and Mayuri doing?

Aizen's plan was to murder Karakura, make the key, go to the Royal Realm, and try and become god. If he succeeded, that's it, game over for basically everybody. It is not a scenario any of our protagonists wanted to occur, because it was an existential threat; that is to say, they and everyone they cared about would probably die, and whatever faint reassurance you might gather from the cycle of reincarnation could possibly be lost too.

In other words, it is not the kinda thing where you just shrug and go "Can't win'em all." There was literally nothing more important.

Kisuke is supposed to be Mr. Genius, Mr. Prepared For Everything. He is supposed to be Tony Stark and Dr. Strange and Mr. Fantastic all rolled up into one.

So what the hell was his plan if Ichigo failed? Because it sure didn't look like he had one to me.

The Visored? Useless. Literally not worth a damn thing. (Would've been great for the invasion of Soul Society though; hey, stupid, why didn't you send them with Ichigo?)

Him, Yoruichi, and Isshin showing up? Useless. Now, Isshin was kicking Aizen's ass, so presumably if they hadn't waited for him to fuse with the Hougyoku, they could've done something. So why'd they wait until then?

Hey, you know who hadn't seen Kyouka Suigetsu and was supposed to be a total badass? Ryuuken. "I don't meddle in the affairs of Shinigami." Yeah, hey, buddy, you own a hospital in Karakura which was going to be destroyed, along with all your staff and your son. You kinda had a vested interest in this conflict. Just saying.

Here's a thought: Shinigami without shikai or bankai active aren't worth shit. Like, they can be killed trivially easily. Now Aizen is powerful enough, in an unreleased state, to stop a bankai with one finger, sure. (Or so it seems. How do we know he wasn't walking around in bankai all the time? Fuck you, Kubo.) But you know what? Dude's not omniscient. He can't predict Shinsou being activated from 10km away, any more than Harry Potter could tell a nuclear warhead was reentering the atmosphere toward him at 29,000km/h. Unless he has layers and layers and layers of illusions at all times, you could kill him trivially in his sleep or on the toilet. Even if he had all those, Ryuuken was never affected and could've killed him at literally any time.

Literally any time. Ryuuken knew Blut at the very least and could've done Letzt Stil. He didn't want to be a Quincy anyway and didn't seem to care about Yhwach either, so, why would he care if he lost his powers? Meh.

(Ryuuken is also supposed to be really smart and is a goddamn idiot.)

Anyway, Kisuke. What the fuck was your plan? Just hoping Ichibei would tank it if Ichigo fucked up? Gonna just write off Karakura? For that matter, considering Aizen's goal was to get up there and fuck with the Soul King, why didn't the dipshits in Squad Zero take a proactive stance instead of being utterly passive?

Leaving all this on Ichigo's shoulders actually made no goddamn sense other than "he's the protagonist."

Also, notice that Kisuke literally did zero science to try and alter this outcome. Dude has a kidou master as his employee who can literally alter spacetime. He knew how to build Hougyokus. Why didn't he make another one? Why didn't he come up with some Star Trek-esque bullshit technobabble solution? (The seal doesn’t count. Good technobabble needs either a long setup or a montage.)

Because Ichigo was the protagonist so it was his job.

Now let's talk about Mayuri. I fucking hate Mayuri. I hate him because he's a terrible person, sure, but lots of characters are terrible people. I hate him even more for being completely fucking useless. Literally nothing Mayuri does is earned. He is monodimensional, simplistic, incompetent, ineffectual, and completely irrelevant to the plot.

First of all, Mayuri's whole thing is he's a sadist. He gets off on hurting people. That's it, that's his entire motivation for anything, his guiding principle of action, and his raison d'être. This whole "science" angle? He's rivals with Kisuke? He's rivals with Szayelaporro? That's bullshit.

A perfect example is the Szayelaporro fight itself. Mayuri ultimately wins through outdoing Szayelaporro at deus ex machinas and kills him in a torturous way while getting his speech about how perfection should be hateful to a scientist. Hey, buddy, I got news for you: scientists don't jack off to their work either. They're methodical and thorough and although they can be passionate and sometimes have serendipitous discoveries, they don't just fly by the seat of their pants 24/7. Which is all Mayuri does. He doesn't do any preparation beyond his generic and vague gloating about analysis and so on.

You remember when Tsukishima used traps on Byakuya, and explained he could cut objects so it was like he'd always been there? That should've been Mayuri. Like Moriarty. Always ahead. Instead, he just pulls counters out of his ass. Now, one can look like the other, but that's what we call poor writing.

(I can go on about this forever: Mayuri is to an actually intelligent and prepared character as Limitless is to depicting a hyperintelligent being.)

And you know what? He sucks at science and prioritization. Ichigo is headed off to deal with Aizen and all Mayuri can think about is dead Espada bodies to dissect and trying to hurt Ichigo later. Newsflash, fucker: Aizen is about to take over the universe. Your jerkoff session can wait.

Except it can't, because that's all Mayuri cares about. Or maybe, it's that he knows he's literally no threat to Aizen.

See, if Mayuri really was Kisuke's rival, why didn't he make his own Hougyoku? Don't act like he wouldn't. He'd love to do that. He'd totally be down with forcing Hollowfication on Nemu. Or shoving it into Rukia's old gigai to make some kinda terrible eldritch mecha-Rukia. (Hey, there's a missed opportunity to make Dark Rukia canon). Or something. Anything. Double points if it psychologically hurts his allies as well as his enemies.

He did none of that. Not only did he not have a plan, he totally didn't care and seemed basically resigned to death.

And Aizen had no interest in killing him. Why? Two reasons: 1. he wasn't a threat, and 2. leaving him alive actually caused more harm than good. Aizen is a troll, and he recognizes that Mayuri is also a troll who affords Soul Society nothing. (Mayuri's science is essentially never of use outside of Mayuri's own fights, it doens't help anyone or advance the plot, ever.)

Literally everything he does is to justify and glorify himself. There totally could've been a vicious, amoral mad scientist character who did atrocities and was a very, very dark gray or black in terms of ethics, but that character sure the fuck isn't Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

All the "smart" people in Bleach are actually stupid as hell and their actions only make sense if they're all massive nihilist tools and, oh my god this explains everything about Kubo and his fucked up view of romance doesn't it

#Bleach #meta #the discourse #seriously fucking tired of how people write smart charcters #as many airquotes around smart as you want #forever

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