#They never interacted but 10/10 chemistry fr
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
naarinn · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Old ancient unfinished wips yippe. I didn't have the courage to throw em away SxF x Kgrb crossover AU is slowly consuming my brain I wish I could work faster in digital ToT (I'm so sorry Chihiro)
Tumblr media
Btw hater Hakuri is canon now lmaoo Twt socmed AU was so fun, ya'll should read it too. NOW <- (It's never late)
138 notes · View notes
vegasporschetruther · 1 year ago
Text
thank you @thisautistic for tagging me <33
10+1 bl chars that i want carnally :3
(not in any order) (i bent the rules alot lmao sue me)
1) kim theerapanyakul - kinnporsche
Tumblr media
how could you NOT desire his crazy ass? hes sooooo pretty and talented and horrible at being a detective and had a secret hannah montana life ! what more could you want from a character?
2) porchay kittisawasd - kinnporsche
Tumblr media
HES MY BABY !!! his heart is soooo full of love <3 i want to sit with him while he practices his singing and i practice drawing and we can both be deranged abt musicians together <33 i love him so much.
3) black pothiyakorn - not me
Tumblr media
ANGRIEST WETTEST CAT EVER !! he will punch you and spit n your mouth and you WILL thank him for it !! hes a communist through and through and loves his younger brother so much <33 interacting with him in any way, shape or form will always be An Experience.
4) ayan sukkhaphisit - eclipse
Tumblr media
the feelings this guy evokes in me…god. like i NEED him. him and i would meet up to study chemistry or smth and we would be SUCH besties. but also i desire him. i can never be normal about him. someone please make me stop.
5) win wanichakarnjonkul - between us/until we meet again
Tumblr media
hia win is one of those guys you can never properly move on from. hes just so…slutty. like oh my god i meed to have swimming lessons with him fr. his tattoos are on my mind 24/7. hes such a GuyTM. he is the moment.
6/7) rain/payu - love in the air
Tumblr media
you can never seperate the most perfectest adhd4adhd couple but MAN would i kill to be in between them one day. rain is sooo cute and pretty and babygirl and i LOVE HIM. but also you cannot take away daddy payu from me. hes also in the room. i love them so much your honor.
8) xue yang - the untamed
Tumblr media
HE SERVED SO MUCH CUNT. god he has actually taken over my brain you dont understand. he did absolutely nothing wrong !! he just committed some murders. no biggie. you lock me in a room with him, and youll never hear from me again <33
9/10) boston/nick - only friends
Tumblr media
being with them would simultaneously be the worst thing for my mental and emotional health, but the best for my sexual health. there will never be a dull moment. me and nich would probably fight like cats over boston’s attention, but would bond over the fact that we’re both animators. he would help me so much <33
+1) yok - not me
Tumblr media
i literally kid you not, im going to art school because of this guy. he changed me as a person. him and i would be SUCH besties. we both would be so into arson <33 we could study anatomy together if you know what i mean. being with him would improve my mental health SO much.
tagging: @khaotunqs @tbhimnoteasyonmyself @khaofirsts @xiaojaan @jaanwangji @hiskinndbodyguard @satelliteee28 @jeffsaturism @itsbinghebitch @transwegath @celestial-sapphicss @blneobin @firstkhaolesbian and anyone else who sees this <33 (just say i tagged you !)
17 notes · View notes
mariailoveyou-guerin · 1 month ago
Text
How did I go from for Kevin Randall this is is edits and end up on mf randall #from edit bc of the name to Randall julie edit then to comments talking about they want julie Randall together one thing about shippers they’ll always ship a minior with man 10y older never gets old
fact i was watching tw edits skipping while🤢all the s*rek bc ofc they’ll always ship a mf grown a88👨🏻with a 🧒 may anyone who ships that di*e a horrible💀same with riara thiam dont even like kie/liam but shipping with grown murde*rs y’all sick and rafe a whole racist too on top
I get st*rek was from time where they was all sickos and groomer enjoyers but seeing riara in todays day and age and now mf julie 15-16 and Randall 23-29 I’m about to actually throw up and wanna bleach my eyes out bc now they ruined #from for me with that nasty sh*t #FROMily and
it’s funny bc people was saying julie Elgin was weird bc he’s what 17 or smth but they are fine with Randall x Julie🤢🤢🤢plz just say y’all weirdo grooming enjoyers and go just like riara shippers they too are just using Julie to be with Randall like who’s suprised nobody! #fr
I hate the internet why are people such creeps they 😭 about she’s almost 18 like ok talking about it’s fictional like that’s gonna change anything it’s always a loser child or grown👩🏻using these miniora as self insert like most riaras shipping a 16 with 20y nasty weirdo freaks
like 2-3 Elgin Julie edit N it’s people talking abojt I don’t see it or I don’t ship but the same people are on Randall julie edit saying they want them together or they love them and see them become a couple also so many Julie Randall oh I know what y’all are weirdos #from fans
ofc I was right😂it’s always self inserts like Randall Sara or Marisol Randall are right there but no it has to be the child and grown a88 man bc y’all are freaks like that so said fcvk if it’s pe*do I want it! may all of you burn and free julie and Randall #from u nasty weirdos!
can a fandom just once not be weirdo freaks plz this why I don’t join or go into fandom stuff this one I got there by accident now I’m in rabbit🕳️so yeah and I want those #from creatures to take my eyes for ever seeing the sh*t I saw just now and keep seeing but I’m not surprised
ofc there’s always the same people in fandoms I never thought I’ll execpt to see what I saw in from but here we are the racism and them talking they don’t see Elgin Julie was predictable they always do this just to go around and ship a ped*o ship everything just not ship the yt+
Or yt lassi bc characters they like with black characters like they swore berek was worst thing every just to sh*t ste*rek then popekie to ship no chemistry cringe ship jiara and now back to their #1 love in fandoms the ped* ship with minior an grown man 7-10y older then said 👧
honestly I was shocked not really thought finally obx normal then s1 came out and it was the whitest and straightest fandom ever so ofc the racism them not seeing kie with pope ect but did jj came like cloc*k that was not news but to see the ped* shipping when they talk about how
going on 20 in s1 and kie was 15 when they met bc of her friendship with Sarah I said yeah they hit their no chemistry cringe ship of gay man and lesbian nothing worse then that can’t happen in this silly boat show just for them to say bet and ship a whole ped* ship ofc they do
it’s a show with mostly striaght yt girls like that’s their bread and butter especially if the yt man is psychopath racist ugvly and 6-10 older! that’s literally their fav trope only second to yt mlm and if jj rafe interacted or there was any other yt boy jj had same scenes as he
pope or jj had with sarah or Sofia or any yt girl (anymore they love het yt ship) they would’ve been on that like 500 years ago (why jiara even exist in first place bc she’s yt or passing to them why theh could never see jjcleo even tho it was gonna be a ship n writers had them )
as ship like they were gonna be a canon writers cast cleo to make her be with jj or have a triangle with pope before the forced fanservice of the gay man and lesbain happened bc of kie yt passing or them seeing her as closest to yt if she was tad bit tanner or less ambiguous)
they would’ve been forcing jjsarah to no end even tho like no one was accepting it bc those were siblings 😂 ) they’ll jumped on any of those by now but since there isn’t any of those they gotta cope pretend to eat up their 2nd choice the gay man and lesbain ship or the ped* ship
and I saw Sara Victor the 50y man who’s brain hasn’t developed by of him being alone so he’s basically younger then julie even but sure nothing could shock me anymore after seeing Julie Randall now this #FROM gonna need to never look into this show more then watching the eps when
it comes out and that’s it bc I can’t do this anymore I’m to scared to see if it can get weirder but doubt it two of the worst ships they could’ve said was said so nothing can shock me anymore! saw Ellis julie but that was more bro sis type edit stuff so not weirded out seeing it
not a single julie Fatima (not thag it’s not as nasty as the others btw) edit 😂 not surprised bc I knew it was just self insert bc Randall being unhinged type they love that or psycho type for some reason in fandoms they want⛔️it’s show just about danger what more do y’all want?
I’m done out of the rabbit 🕳️ wanna blcok the ship but there’s no way to do without blocking Julie/Randall which I like as characters! Anyways anyone shipping julie with anyone but Elgin is freak weirdo and anyone who ships Sara Victor is the same hello sara Randall is there guys
I was wrong just saw sara Kenny not worse but yeah it’s horrendous too not like the other too but still so bad #from fandom is exactly like every other fandom in every other show bc they just hate bipoc always shipping them with people who are the reason for their trauma it’s+
actually crazy how they always do that like clockwork it’s usually woc with the yt men who tr*ed k1lling them but this one is knew bc ain’t no way y’all talking enemies to lovers and it’s she k1lled his dad like that’s gonna happen be so fr free bipoc woman/miniors from fandoms!
mainly other woman and especially yt woman bc it’s only them doing the most every weird ship ever made or shipped is always by majority yt striaght woman in her 12-50+age gp outside do smth other shipping pe*do ships or bipoc with psychos who are responsible for their trauma/pain
1h or so ago idk even know there was from fandom on tktk now I regret finding out didn’t even know Randall last name or that he had one and now I know unimaginable horrifying things I never wish I knew gonna try erasing it from my memory before the next last ep of s3 I 🙏🏾 I can
‪thankfully it’s the last ep this week and if they keep it like last ep it’ll be great bc next season won’t come before next year and that’s long enough for them to get over their ped* ship doubt it but at least no more content hopefully they won’t interact again in last ep‬
0 notes
chuluoyi · 1 year ago
Note
Same.... I've never spent a single cent on games, so I only can grind.. And I'm failing badly... I've grinded like 1000 s-chips in 3 days and I still need 200+ before I can do a 10-pull... YEA they've come so far... Lukerosa is so the best ship in my opinion! I love Vyn and Rosa dynamics too... Like I didn't like Vyn at the start cause he's so sussy (Vyn girlies don't come after me please) but after seeing him and Rosa rely on each other so much I feel like Marius's and Artem's relationships with Rosa are just pretty normal (Again this is my opinion so don't come after me please 😭😭)
It's about $8 for me... And woahwoahh again?! Are you like in Japan rn? And I would advise you to save your money... BUT if you don't get a Gojo coaster then spend away! Anything for the husbands 💖
YEA like I had no idea... I thought people disliked Suguru so I went into Animate all happy and shit but I guess I was wrong... Cause where I'm from everyone hates Suguru I'm just that one crazy fangirl AHHAH- And I share your sentiments... I think I just dislike that group of Kenjaku homies... I'm not wrong tho??!? Volcano man has ONE eye and is BLUE SKINNED but he gets all that the girlies desire 🥲🥲
HUH VENTI TOO 😭😭😭 Okay I probably would've done that too if I HAD Venti... But I lost 50/50 to Qiqi in all of his banners... But FR Genshin is so... Money leeching.... I have so many friends who want to quit but can't cause they already spent so much...
AHAHAHAH RIGHT WRIO SUPREMACYYY!! And it's always the men ahhahah!! I started cause of Diluc and Ayato omg... I only stayed till Sumeru cause of Alhaitham.... yes, I agree... These men are probably too... too holy? Throughout Heaven and the Earth, they are the honoured ones... 🥲🥲
hehehe it's really nothing!! 😍😍
And 'once' ..? You sure about that babe...
Also NO I have not seen the newest ep... I stopped for like 4 weeks cause I knew Nanami's end was coming... But guess what I was spoiled on Instagram anyway... Nobara is so precious like tf she's just 16 Mahito leave her tf alone!! Yuji too! Like he already killed Nanami in front of him... And he had to bring Nobara there too... He's despicable like please stop 😭😭😭 Leave our babies alone!
P.s. Chu I really enjoy talking with you omg like you're probably the only writer on Tumblr that I've interacted so much with!! Love you!!!
-🪩
HOW did you grind 1000 s chips in three days?!😭 disco anon i barely could grind 100 daily so how sskskks you must teach me😩
actually i agree with you!!🥹 in my personal opinion, it’s their chemistry due to the childhood friends trope that makes things already intimate between the two of them. ahh, i’m still not used to vyn i’m sorry🥲 partially bcs of the sus part HAHAHA
for me it’s luke - marius - artem - vyn 🥹 but i’m not saying vyn is bad! i actually love his birthday cards and the main story in the cruise ship! it’s just i’m not used to his calm persona HAHAHA marius is a big baby so he is dear to me and artem is the epitome of man every mother wants for their daughter so i go for him to delude myself into having the perfect man☺️
omg why?! suguru is so precious he didn’t deserve the ptsd imposed by the jujutsu world *sigh* VOLCANO MAN PLSSS😭😭😭😭 it’s so funny ahahahhaha
venti is not as useful ever since kazuha is released imo🥲 it’s just his burst skill is fun and you can fly. tbh i pulled for him just because he’s cute and anyway why do we pull for genshin men at all? not bcs of their usefulness, certainly. it’s just they’re so easy in our eyes😩😩🫶🏻
i agree!!🤧 like well everything is pricey, and the rate off possibility is just too much sometimes🥹
too holy lmao🥹🥹🥹 i think i’m logging in genshin again just to see my luck and primo… i honestly forget if i still have any left or not…
…sure. i’m totally sure. pls pray for me to be sure 💀
HAAHHHA there are many of my friends who haven’t even started the 2nd season at all bcs they already know what’s coming😭 but yes it’s so painful like nothing good comes in this season *sigh*
hshshsjjs i enjoy talking to you too disco anon!!🥹🫶🏻 thank you for stopping by omg i’m always happy to answer asks and i’m glad i’ve found kind friends in this hellsite because tbh i’m a bit spooked by several discourses i’ve seen in this fandom🥲 like pls i don’t ever want to be involved in any of that😭
love you too!!!✨
0 notes
comphetforreal · 3 years ago
Text
my post for the april tc challenge by @morethanwords0475
im putting all the days in one post for my own convenience and will edit the post to add more days :)
also some questions i didn’t rlly have an answer for so i just deleted them lol
Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC?
with T she has been my spanish teacher since year 7 and she’s always been amazing, i’ve always been the kind of teachers pet / try hard in her class but she’s always known i love learning spanish and work rlly hard at it :D
with M actually when he joined the school (only this year) everyone was like omg he’s so fit and i was like he is the most plain ass average man i’ve ever seen
then my best friend acc got a crush on him and for ages i didn’t get it?? partially bcos i don’t like men /r yk but after properly meeting him and also hearing about what he’s like i’ve realised his appeal isn’t his looks he’s just genuinely an amazing teacher and rlly nice person :(( sorry that was long but yeah
with R everyone saw him and went yeah that guy has kids in his basement, like /j but he does give mad like serial killer vibes he’s so scary fr
Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it?
spanish: YES i’m getting a 9 (A**) and i’ve loved it since i started learning it 10 years ago, i only got T in year 7 when i started secondary tho
chemistry: i’m getting a 7 (A) which seems good but my school is a grammar school so that’s just kinda average here yk? i am quite good i think but i still want to improve, i suppose i like it but it’s not my favourite thing ever
biology: R doesn’t teach me and i’ve never interacted w him in a biology setting but in getting a 6 (B) atm ://
i rlly wanna bring my grade up to a 7 for the real gcses so i’m studying a lot, i suppose i like it, i find it the best of the sciences because there’s the least maths involve yk 💀
Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap?
idrc, idk the exact age gap for any of them and none of mine are romantic so thats not that big of a thing ig
Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you?
T thinks im great fr, once i asked her about smth in a spanish book i was reading and she told me then went to the cupboard and got me another spanish book to read and she said just whenever i want i can borrow books from that cupboard to read B)
Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first?
M HE FUCKING HE ALWAYS FIDDLES WITH HIS PENS AND LIKE ROCKS BACK AND FORTH ON HIS HEELS ITS SO CUTE
he also like adjusts his clothes a lot which is cute
Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student?
no not rlly, sometimes T talks about like school in spain because shes from spain but thats it i suppose
Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them?
SOBBING AND CRYING M HAS A WHOLE WIFEEEEE idk much abt her tho
same w T, she has a husband i think but she never speaks abt him
Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them?
probs weeks/a month or two w summer holidays/half terms
Day 11: What do other people usually think about them?
nah everyone loves T she’s so nice and fun, even the kids that muck around in her lesson have usually said that she’s actually rlly nice and would teach them well if they acc tried in spanish yk
for M quite a few ppl in our year also have a bit of a thing for him (like 3?) but also most ppls opinion of him is that he’s rlly nice, before i met him that’s all ppl said about him, how like he was genuinely a nice teacher
for R i have heard a few others think he’s hot but most ppl are either terrified of him or make fun of him or both
Day 12: Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use?
no stopppp for M i so want to but i’m always too nervous, i’m considering when revising after school one day going to his room and asking if i can borrow a textbook for a bit to help w my revision but i’m scared like idk he’d say no or that would seem weird
i don’t make excuses to talk to T more than we do but already we talk a lot, i always put my hand up in class, if i’m unsure of smth she will come over and explain to me, sometimes after class if there’s smth abt spanish i need clarifying i’ll just stay behind for a minute and ask, i once even showed her the spanish novel i was reading, and she always says hola to all her students in the corridor which is nice and sometimes if the corridor isn’t busy she’ll stop to have a little conversation with me
Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about?
in general M is rlly passionate about like learning and you can tell he loves to help ppl learn it’s rlly sweet :)
Day 15: Which MBTI personality do you think they are? (If you don't do MBTI, which Hogwarts House do you think they would be in?)
none of these are based on like proper typing i just did these kinda quickly lol
M - ESFP
T - ESTP
R - ISTJ
Day 16: If you could go back in time and choose, would you still choose to develop feelings for your TC?
i just wish with M i started going to chem support sooner, i was going to start going back in december but 1) i was scared so only went to the ones my own chem teacher ran (not M) and 2) most after schools at the time i was having gcse drama rehearsals so i couldn’t acc go to chem support that often anyway but then even when rehearsals ended i just completely forgot those support sessions existed until now coz i was rlly stressed n stuff but yeah i think i would still wanna have feelings for him but just wish i did sooner so it wasn’t that i’m running out of time coz in less than two months my gcses are over and i’ve finished at that school, well lower school, i will be staying for sixth form but i am NOT doing chem a level lmao but yeah so i’ll still see him around ig
Day 17: If it was the last time you would ever be able to see your TC, what is one thing you would never leave without saying to them?
with M i would wanna thank him for helping me realise i’m not just stupid and that wish revision and hard work i rlly can improve, also that i can tell he just loves teaching his subject and his whole vibe and how genuinely nice he is, just to never change that for anyone and that he’s literally inspired me to do better
with T i would want to thank her for all the years of teaching me and how her lessons have always been a highlight of my day and how she is genuinely an amazing teacher
Day 18: When was the first time you cried because of them?
literally on monday this week (25/4) for M coz i think i posted abt it actually, but i genuinely thought i was just Bad At Chemistry and science in general and there was no hope of me getting better / understanding certain stuff but he really broke down everything and explained it and helped me and now i rlly do understand those topics so when i went home i got all emotional bcos he is such a good teacher and made me realise i’m not just stupid and that i can improve
i don’t think i’ve cried coz of any of the others tbh
Day 19: How well do you think you know them?
with T i think i know we pretty well but i haven’t had enough time with M or R to really get to know them
Day 20: Do you ever lie to them? About what?
no actually, with M i was honest when he asked if i had revised stuff / if i knew about smth at chem support
and with T again i’m honest if i don’t know something i’ll say, i’ll still try and answer but yk, but i usually know in spanish anyway
Day 21: What is the longest time you have spent together with them?
once R covered my english class so an hour? but that was my whole class, i’ve never been alone with him
T again mainly when she teaches me but also my after my speaking mock she talked me to for a bit just us which was nice coz they were running ahead of schedule
M <333 chemistry support <3 so like an hour and a half nearly and it was just us it was so nice
Day 22: If you have had other TCs in the past (or right now), how are they similar to or different from your current (or primary) TC?
no all of mine are like completely different fr it’s so weird
like M is super nice and so is T but R is SO SCARY and M and T are very different in other ways too
Day 23: Have you ever seen your TC in clothes they don’t usually wear? Casual clothes if they usually wear formal attire or the other way around?
once on non uniform day M wore a BROWN T SHIRT AND JEANS it was SO UGLY i was so disappointed
sir please why couldn’t you have STYLE
i could fix him* *his wardrobe
Day 24: When was the last time they made your heart thump?
stoppp omg the other day when walking into assembly i made direct eye contact with M for a few seconds and afterwards my heart was beating so fast omg
Day 25: How do you think your TC would react if you confided in them when you felt sad or stressed or anxious?
i think T would be super understanding and nice tbh, i think she would be good at offering advice for most stuff, also if i was anxious about spanish exams/grades she would assure me im doing fine so :)
with M im not too sure coz like we arent close like at all coz he doesnt teach me but i think he would still be nice abt it
Day 26: What is the best dream you have had of them?
not the Best but the FUNNIEST dream i had was once i had a dream that i had to do ANOTHER dance practical gcse but i was the only one who had to??? and on practical gcse days we’d get to miss lessons but for some reason i had to go to chemistry and like i was running to my locker to get my chem book and i see M in a classroom and he comes out of the room and in a really scary way was like “Why Aren’t You In Lesson” and i was like um i have a dance gcse sir sorry sir and he was like “This Is Not Okay You Must Go To Your Lesson Now” and i was like okay sir sorry sir
then i went to chemistry (late) and i get to the door and knock and my normal teacher is in there teaching but M answers the door and i was like so sorry i’m late sir and he was like “That Is Not Okay Go To Your Seat Now”
it was weird bcos even tho my teacher was teaching, M AND R were BOTH supervising the lesson???? and R was being super nice it was like M and R had swapped personalities, then when i sat down i went to my friend “omg i think M hates me 😰😰”
then later M was like why are you wearing that and i was like for my dance gcse sir and he was like Oh
then i woke up it was very weird
Day 27: What is the saddest/scariest dream you have had of them?
i think the dream above counts as the scariest one as well tbh
Day 28: Does your TC ever bring you up to other students/teachers that you know of?
not that i know of :(( but T does always say that our class is the best she's had in a long time so i like to think she has mentioned how good i am / how hard i try to other teachers
Day 29: Do you see them as being a romantic person? Are you?
i think M would be such a romantic, i cant see the others being super overly romantic but i bet M would be the one to be all lovey dovey and sappy and do romantic gestures n stuff <33
1 note · View note
theadultbrat · 8 years ago
Text
My review of Hwarang
A story of wasted potential: a review of ‘Hwarang’ This essay is about ‘Hwarang’ and how I feel about it (Spoiler: It will not be very positive). Although it had some good moments and developments, most of it was plainly bad and wasted potential. I will not talk about the historical errors though because it even says at the start of each episode that's it is just and adaptation of history. It also needs to be added that this review can feel incoherent for some as it is similar to a rant. But enough of the foreplay, let us start this review/rant with the characters and their individual plotlines: Sunwoo easily is one of the most bland and boring characters I have ever seen on screen (and I have watched The Walking Dead) because he just does not have any personality except for being a prototypical stern hero. Now, if he had at least shown some kind of development over the course of these 20 episodes that would have been ok. But he did not change at all except that now he loves Ahro but that hardly is what I would call good development. It also needs to be noted superhuman abilities made Hwarang way less entertaining than it could have been. Learning a huge number of Hanja in a matter of days is just one illogical ability that made me shake my head in awe. The others are learning how to ride a horse properly in a week and then how to successfully shoot arrows from it, which I would say should take at least two years of training. But he not only becomes an expert in shooting in no time but also sword master because even though he says all the time that he cannot fight well he survived multiple fights and two duels, with the one against the Prince of Baekje being the most laughable. The Prince even says that he grew up in times of war and even though fighting in a war is not the same as duelling that should give him an enormous advantage. But not only that should have meant the death of Sunwoo but also his multiple injuries, with an arrow hitting him where the lung is being the top of it. Even in modern medicine it is pretty hard to save someone with a pierced lung but in the early Middle Ages it is impossible. And as the tip of the arrow, which is around 7cm long, went all in, it is not possible for the arrow to not have hit the lung. Therefore in other sageuk dramas when someone gets hit by an arrow and survives, it is always in the arm or leg, because that creates a flesh wound which is healable in most instances. While I am already talking about this situation, let us get some context. He gets hit by the arrow because he wants to save Ahro. Having mentioned Ahro now brings me to her storyline and how in almost every pair of episodes she needs to get saved by Sunwoo (and/or Jinheung). Yes, I understand that she somehow needs to feel closer and attracted to him but please be more creative and write more simple romantic/bonding scenes instead of repeating the same pattern again and again and again. This would probably not even help as the OTP has incredibly bad chemistry so I never bought the idea of them loving each other. This is also the reason why I liked all the other pairings more (Banryu x Sooyeon, Jinheung x Sukmyeong and Sooho x Queen Jiso – with two of those not even being real pairings). What cannot be left unsaid as well is that Ahro later saves Sunwoo too because of throwing herself in front of an arrow, which again hits a lung. It was already stupid the first time but to repeat this excuse of a plot device is ridiculous beyond reason. My main point of criticism for Ahro herself though is that she also does not show much character development. More importantly she just does not come off as likeable as she ignores almost all the people around her to focus on Sunwoo. The person who suffers the most from that is of course Jinheung, as he (for some reason) falls in love with her too and constantly makes advances towards Ahro (and saves her from his mother) and all she does is look at him like he is creep (which he can be at times but never as much as Ahro's gazes suggest). The "best" thing is that after he has saved her multiple times she asks him if he wants to kill her. Because the obvious conclusion is that the person who clearly cares about me and does everything to help me does all that just to kill me in the end. That must be it – not. Ultimately, she gets her way as she and Sunwoo plan to marry and the king lets her go (to hopefully marry his sister after they realized that they fit each other off-screen). Talking about Jinheung, he started off as a fairly interesting character, a king suppressed by his mother and living in hiding for almost his entire life that now comes back to emancipate himself and take the throne. This sounded promising but starting from episode 8 onwards he becomes a love-sick puppy that always comes back for Ahro even though she treats him like he is nothing (even for k-dramas, that tend to this is beyond stupid and unrealistic) and at one point he wants to give up his right to be king – something he fought for all his life – just for this one girl that ignores him all the time. What a compelling story. In the second half of the drama he starts talking how he will take the throne. The speeches that he holds when saying "I am the king […]!" are in fact awesome but as he does this multiple times over the course of almost 10 episodes he too becomes boring – as well as reluctant to change his life, although his willingness of taking control was his major motivation earlier – and lacks any development. It is almost as if the writer wants us to feel engaged but also tries to delay the payoff to the very end of the drama through repetition. Just like Sunwoo saving Ahro every two episodes it is – excuse my harsh words – boring as hell. Just in the last 30 minutes we get to see a glimpse of why Jinheung is considered one of the most important kings in early Korean history, when he tells his mother what he plans for his country and speaks with Sunwoo about future expansions of his realm. Going back to his unexplainable love for Ahro, why does he not fall in love with his half-sister Sukmyeong (who in real life became one of his wives, which is also the plan their mother has in mind in Hwarang)? The scene in which he gets his old toy – from the probably worst hidden place ever (how can only the Royal family find it, it's just an open square within the palace) - shows how much they like each other and how much they want to want to become a family again so that would've been a great starting point for  a second lead OTP. But no, Sukmyeong also has to fall in love with Sunwoo (because he saves her from a snake and tells her not to kill it... Let that sink in for a while) as he is apparently the best person in everything (although in reality he is just as arrogant as Jinheung but at least the king seems to become a bit humbler at some point) and everything in ‘Hwarang’ has to be about the fake siblings and their love for each other, even though they are the worst characters of them all. In the end, the purpose of her character never became clear (By the way, was ‘Hwarang’ not supposed to be about bromance? Weird that these scenes always fall short). But enough of Jinheung and Sukmyeong, let us talk about the other Hwarangs, starting with Sooho and Banryu. Even though they are only secondary characters they go through more development as the leads - even though Sooho is just there for comic relief. Although predictable, the approaching of these two completely different persons which results even in a sort of awkward friendship and mutual respect is heart-warming. And Banryu's inner conflict between being on the side of his friends or his family is very interesting too, but this too isn't of interest in the show as we just get this about 5 minutes every two episodes to make more room for the love story, resulting in this side plot feeling dragged out (or even forgotten). Moreover, Sooho's admiration and love for the Queen Regent Jiso is a good example of the mindlessness privileged adolescents like him have (something he loses partially over the course of the drama as a way of growing up - I'm kidding, he does not get that awesome development). Furthermore, he and the Queen Regent have more chemistry in the few scenes they have together than Sunwoo and Ahro, even though Jiso is ignoring him most of the time. This shows again how badly written and acted the main OTP is. As with Sooho and Jiso, Banryu's growing love for Sooyeon, Sooho's sister, is also absorbing, as in contrast to Ahro, Sooyeon is likeable. She may seem helpless at times too, but in other moments she kicks ass (literally her brother's). In a confession scene, she opens her heart to Banryu and allows herself to become vulnerable, gifting him a lock of her hair, a very meaningful present. This is a great example of writing a relatable and interesting romance in which the two characters have chemistry. Just look at the insecure glances Banryu throws at Sooyeon whenever they interact, you can literally see how he is torn apart between the duty to his family and his love for her. Sadly, we only get very few scenes between these two (one per episode tops) because again – who would've thought – everything in ‘Hwarang’ is about Sunwoo and Ahro. At least they got the happy end they deserve (I will personally tell her father off, should he try to separate the two). The other two somewhat important Hwarangs are more worthwhile than the leads too. The story of Hansung, the last True Bone of his family with large needs to meet, is compelling because when he appears it is either about how bright of a person he is or how he suffers because the responsibility he has at such a young age. This struggle is also signified through his “half-brood” brother and his grandfather, both of who are also trapped in the Bone system. But again, he is just a secondary character who does not get much chance to shine so these – seen from a writing point of view – positive aspects are rarely seen. Additionally, his death scene is ludicrous too, or more precisely it is how he dies, as his actual death in Sunwoo's arms and funeral is almost heartbreaking, if it were not for the prior scene. The idea of saving Sunwoo from his brother Dan-Se – who could have just told Hansung that their grandfather wants him (Dan-Se) to poison Sunwoo and if he does not comply, he (the grandfather) will kill himself and his grandson. Warning Hansung of that would have resulted in both of them being safe, as it is almost impossible to kill somebody weary in Hwarang house – is a noble one, but every normal thinking person would not jump in front of a blade or, God forbid, even grabbing it with bare hands, but tackle the person instead – this applies to the jumping in front of an arrow scenes too. So even if the blade was not poisoned, the idea of jumping in front of it is beyond reasonable and suicidal. The last of the Hwarang bunch, Yeowool, cannot even be called a character. He is just there and smiles sassily. As with Jinheung, he seemed to be interesting in the beginning. As a True Bone with his mother probably being the sister of the dead king he could have developed an interesting relationship with Jinheung (who apparently knows about Yeowool’s parentage) but after teasing the viewer in one episode, he is thrown under the bus for other storylines. The last characters I want to talk about are the villains. First, there is Minister Youngshil or stereotyped evil old dude, as I like to call him. His ploys are the reason of almost all the calamities the main characters must endure. He is not a compelling villain though, as his only motivation and characteristic is to get his family on the throne. That is it. Nothing more is explained to the viewer. While overcomplicating a character’s motivation is bad too, not giving the main villain – the person we are supposed to be afraid of – any real traits makes him less menacing as, even though he should be part of the main narrative, he gets to play the second (or fifth) fiddle to make room for the most boring love story of them all. His change of plans to make himself king instead of Banryu is pretty idiotic as well. In a time when everything is about family and securing your legacy becoming king at an old age without having any heirs – except Banryu but he apparently dropped him – isn't productive at all. His later alliance with Sunwoo and Hwikyung is a slightly better plan as he would still be able to control the ministers, but his failure to see the honourable side in people becomes his undoing when Sunwoo turns on him and stands on his friend’s side. Nevertheless, he only was a typical baddie without any hidden surprises and failed as an antagonist. The secondary villains are mostly lacklustre too, especially the two street gang members who later work with Youngshil, but as they are not supposed to play a big role, it is excusable. Far more disappointing is the Prince of Baekje who with his cruel way of thinking was a dislikeable person straight from writer's school (in a good way). But then to drop him after a two-episode arc that did not even have any lasting consequences while having a worse main villain with Youngshil felt like wasted potential, something I talked a lot about already. The arguably second main villain is Queen Mother/Queen Regent Jiso, the most intriguing character of the whole drama. She has everything a great antagonist needs to have, first and foremost compelling and understandable motives (defending her family against the opposition led by Youngshil while being a “weak” woman). This means she is not all about being evil, her heart just got hard as stone over the years trying to protect the Royal family from her opponents (I personally would've liked more scenes of young Jiso that show how she became that cold and embittered, but of course the tedious love story got in the way of it). In contrast to her intelligence you have the dumb likes of her ex-lover Ahnji, Ahro's father, who somehow gets the idea that trusting first Youngshil and then Hwikyung, the Queen Regent's more than shady brother whose motives and ways are not any better than hers (I would argue they are worse as he tries to overthrow her and Jinheung, just because he wants his own son on the throne. Who is embittered now? By the way, the fact that Sunwoo could not just be an orphan but had to Hwikyung’s son, a reveal that announced itself weeks before it actually happened, is one of the most boring tropes applied in Hwarang). Yes, Ahnji has a lot of reasons to hate her, but looking at the alternatives it is way safer to root for her (or better, her son) to rule because that would not cause an uprising likely to come with a coup détat. As mentioned earlier I really like the idea of Jiso becoming gradually more embittered and cautious over the years. This climaxes in her not wanting to let go of the throne as she cannot see anyone capable but her on it – looking at how Jinheung is characterized as a not forward thinking love sick puppy I cannot even blame her – thus signifying how good persons can become bad because of their venomous surroundings. In the end, her harshness pays off though as Hwarang secure her son on the throne, so it was all worth it in the end. It would not be ‘Hwarang’ if the writer did not offer something to criticize though, namely the side plot of her getting slowly poisoned by her lady in waiting that serves her tea with poison in it. Poison. It is beyond stupid as firstly, we never get to know what kind of poison it is (which therefore feels like a deus ex machina) and secondly, after this plot point is introduced and she faints once, it is dropped for 6 episodes only for her being on the verge of death, with hallucinations setting in. The fact that the poison took ten years to have an effect, only for these symptoms to rapidly grow is also something I cannot and will not believe. A silver lining here is that she knows she is getting poisoned, but does not interfere as she knows that her adversaries would find other ways to kill her, so why do not let them kill you in a slow and mostly painless way. At least she can still govern the nation until her son is ready to take over her burden, which he eventually does. Jinheung’s and Jiso’s bonding over her sacrifice for him, their understanding of each other’s actions and their small reconciliation in the end are as good an ending for her storyline as is her eventual death near the persons who love her. Sooho’s short, but touching time as her personal Hwarang ends with her collapsing in his arms and him helping Ahnji to finally accept his feelings for her, realizing that, even though he hates the Queen Regent, he loves her still. Sadly, this is Sooho’s last appearance as he is not seen in the last shot with all the important Hwarangs (Sunwoo, Banryu, Yeowool, and even Dan-Se) and the king, one of the many inconsistencies in the drama. Which brings me to the overall problem ‘Hwarang’ has: the writing and pacing. Every week new side plots are introduced and in the next week they're either already finished or treated as if they never happened. This not only undermines the main arc which is often hidden somewhere between the lines but also makes the drama seem like a collection of singular stories instead of an overall narrative which it aims to be. In addition to that, every time a side story is ignored the following week, so is the limited character development of the three main characters. It really would not matter character wise if someone were to skip half of the episodes because they are still at the same place, physically and mentally. This also shows how the overall narrative is not well thought out as the side stories often become the main plot for an episode which just ends up being filler material. If the writer had cut all this story fat away and instead focused on the main plot and the character development it would have been possible for ‘Hwarang’ to be 20 episodes of enjoyable sageuk but it should not be like that. What is also important for a TV series is the ending and how the viewer is led to it. The big conflict between Jinheung and Sunwoo and who should be king is actually much easier solved than what the drama tries to make us believe. Sunwoo’s father said himself that he got excluded from the Royal family because of his polio (and Sunwoo seemingly has some sickness too as he constantly faints) which automatically means that his children are ineligible to sit on the throne, not even if they do not have any physical disabilities. If your father gets disowned, the son gets disowned (also it is very likely that such disabilities were seen as bad signs so he would not even have the common people on his side). Having this in mind the final plot twist of Sunwoo being on Jinheung’s side could be seen from miles and miles away and completely unnecessary. It could have been more effective for the plot to crown Jinheung sooner, only for Youngshil to try and launch a coup, a risk he would have certainly taken. The way this plot twist revealed itself was also an uninspired one as the drama took the viewer back to already visited scenes to add two or three sentences that were not shown before in that situation. Decisions like this straightforwardly hoax the viewer so that they probably feel betrayed in a very cheap way. That we are told that the Hwarangs get to decide on who is king is ridiculous and not even believable for one second too. The reason for all this impreciseness and wrongness probably is that this is the first real K-Drama of writer Park Eunyeong. Before ‘Hwarang’, she only wrote 90-minute-long drama specials which do not require as much character development and story as a fully-fledged drama. This is also seen that ‘Hwarang’ is at its best in the first few episodes and the very last one, everything between that is mostly an overwhelming mess. But not only the writer was not the best at her job, the directors were terrible too. Their choice of music – although that might have been a producer decision – being K-Pop took away what seriousness the drama had and added only more goofiness. Resulting in their awful direction, most of the actors’ performances were bland and dreadful. Only a few ones of the extended principal cast managed to act well consistently, for example Park Hyungsik (Jinheung). Once the writers give him something to act (eg. the throne room scenes), he is able to show us his talents and leaves no questions on why he is a rising acting star unanswered. Others that considerably well were Do Jihan (Banryu), whose acting in his scenes with Lee Dain (Soohyeon) – who also gave a strong performance – I already mentioned, Seo Yeji (Sukmyeong), and Kim Jisoo (Jiso), who already has experience playing in a sageuk, an advantage she knows to handle throughout the series. On the other side of the spectrum, Park Seojoon (Sunwoo), Go Ara (Ahro), Sung Dongil (Hwarang instructor Wihwa) and Jang Sehyun (Kang Sung, Banryu’s Hwarang trainee) were probably the worst, be it for their lack of emotions or their over-acting. To end this on a high note I want to recap the few things I liked about Hwarang: the relationship between Banryu and Sooyeon, and to an extent – although most of it is wishful thinking on my side – those of Jinheung and Sukmyeong and Sooho and Jiso; Jiso herself; how the drama started off and how the characters were introduced, and for the most part how it ended; and lastly the sets and costumes which I did not mention before. Especially Hwarang House and the throne room look gorgeous, an advantage of filming the whole drama before it airs, as the sets can be more elaborate and do not need to be built with the thought of being easy to dismantle and rebuild. And thus ends my overlong review/rant about ‘Hwarang’. I hope you had fun reading it.
18 notes · View notes
theworstbob · 8 years ago
Text
yellin’ at songs: 5.12.2007 & 5.13.2017
the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and this week ten years ago
5.12.2007
6) "I'll Stand by You," Carrie Underwood
I completely understand why so many people bought this. I don't think my life was improved by having heard this? But, y'know, it wasn't as melodramatic as I was expecting, maybe I picked the wrong video but it's just a nice well-sung acoustic cover of a song which I'm sure was construed as inspirational for the Idol Gives Back thing (and remembering that this was Idol Gives Back this week, yup, mm-hmm, definitely watched the wrong video), I'm glad there wasn't a thousand things happening, but like 2007 is supposed to provide a nostalgic rush, either consider a song we all knew and loved/hated back in the day or uncover a classic, and listening to this is just... Unnecessary?
8) "Never Again," Kelly Clarkson
The first line of this song is, "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green," which is a hell of a thing to say. One can assess all the reasons why this is the only Kelly Clarkson single to chart in 2007 -- hey remember ten years ago when a record label could win a PR battle with a female artist seeking creative autonomy? Good times! -- but honestly, there's nothing wrong with this song on its own, this is a pretty superb, dark-as-hell break-up song, but it's also the sixth or seventh consecutive Kelly Clarkson breakup song? Like, her discography to this point is "A Moment Like This" and then a shitload of break-up songs, some anthemic, some mournful, and while I get why they would be sick of Kelly Clarkson break-up songs -- worth noting her next big hit was “My Life Would Suck Without You” -- if the 2007 public wasn't willing to hear the dark version of the kind of song Kelly Clarkson does extremely well, that's on them. This song is rad, and while I'm probably not gonna go back and listen to My December, I'm figuring that album is prolly a jam.
28) "Icky Thump," The White Stripes
...Do I have to like this song? I get that I agree with it, and I get that The White Stripes area thing people who like music tend to like, and this is the most I ever enjoyed The White Stripes' whole, y'know, thing (this and “My Doorbell”), but I don’t want to like this song. It’s just, I dunno, Jack White’s this whole person, and I don’t like engaging with that person?
56) "Up to the Mountain," Kelly Clarkson ft./Jeff Beck
yes just like the carrie underwood thing this was a very good american idol performance and like i wanna be snarkier but last week 2007 handed me seven country dude songs and, just, i would take a thousand american idol performances before another week with that many country dudes. given the alternative, this is the greatest thing i could have ever possibly heard.
65) "Signal Fire," Snow Patrol
So like, I graduated high school in 2007, right? That's kind of the connection to these songs, like, these songs would have been the soundtrack to my high school experience if I had friends who listened to pop and/or rap radio. (Hence all the buttrock appreciation in these posts. Like, real talk, Shinedown is a terrible band to which I have such a profound nostalgic connection that I routinely have to rewatch their videos just to be 100% sure that particular Southern rock band doesn't have any Confederate flags in them.) So there's a 10-year reunion coming up which I'm probably not going to go to, but like imagine a 10-year high school reunion. You see your friends. You love your friends! You are all very successful and beautiful! You see the people you hated. You greatly enjoy how fat they got and cheated on they were! You go to the punch bowl for some delicious, fruity punch, and you see the person that sat behind you in chemistry. They seem OK. You mention the crazy weather you've been having recently, and they agree, the weather is crazy. This song is that social interaction. It's a nice Braffcore song that I wasn't thinking about then and am not presently thinking about now.
78) "You Raise Me Up," Josh Groban & The African Children's Choir
...Yeah, so like, no? Thank you! But, no, I'mma sit this one out. I understand that we want different things out of life. I will not get in the way of this song's goals, and I will not invite it to impede mine. But thank you so much for bringing this to me!
84) "If I Was Your Man," Joe
I refuse to actively engage with this song on the grounds that even coming up with this angle for a capsule review required more thought and effort than was put into the writing and recording of this song. This is a middle slider in song form. They couldn't even be bothered to give this artist a name. "Joe." Joe doesn't even stand for anything, he's just a fucking guy named Joe who wants to date someone and enjoy all the attendant benefits. Sometimes, you hear a song, and you're taken to an amazing world or shown a new aspect of life or filled with the inspiration needed to tackle the day's problems, and this song is like, "Meet Joe! Joe's a dude who has a crush on someone," and Joe doesn't say anything or even wave his hand to acknowledge you. He just sits there, moving nothing.
93) "I Don't Need a Man," The Pussycat Dolls
"I don't need a hand if it only wants to grab one thing." In addition to the world, the 2016 presidential election also ruined my ability to enjoy a 10-year-old Pussycat Dolls song. Also, Kara DioGuardi. It makes sense that Kara DioGuardi and Donald Trump would describe the female anatomy in equally clumsy ways. Maybe there was no way for Kara DioGuardi to know that, ten years after this song was published, the term "grab" could reference something other than the ass when used in reference to a woman's body, but she's bad and this song is trash so I'm definitely going to hold it against her.
99) "Sexy Lady," Yung Berg ft./Junior
...I am going to applaud this song for having the audacity of using a "Diamonds Are Forever" sample. Like, Kanye doesn't own the rights to the song, and it's a completely different beat, but it's still kinda weird to turn on a song and say, "Oh, hey, someone used that song as a sample in a song I like a lot more!" And like how are you going to use the "Diamonds Are Forever" sample on a song that isn't about diamonds at all? The song doesn't mention jewely of any kind. Like, I don't know, maybe Yung Berg has always been famously anti-consumerism and I just never bothered learning that about him, but if you're a pop/rap artist in 2007, and you're going to take a sample from an iconic song about material goods, hey, I'm not a songwriter, but maybe write verses about material goods? This is as weird as a song can be without having an ounce of originality.
100) "Wipe Me Down," Lil Boosie ft./Foxx & Webbie
One weird thing about 2007 songs is, so like, when I listen to a song with, say, Lil Yachty on the track, I hear every single disgusting thing Lil Yachty has to say about the things he wants to do to a woman, and which parts of the woman he would prefer to do them to. And then you listen to a 2007 track, and there'll be half a verse missing because the record label was scared that their video would be deleted from the internet if they said the n-word. Apart from the unnecessary censorship, I dunno, this was kind of the standard Southern-pop/rap song. Repetitive to the point you just give in and enjoy it, not really about anything in particular, just annoying enough to be memorable but not annoying enough to be appreciated ironically. There were always gonna be dry spells. 2007 is very much in one, Kelly Clarkson notwithstanding.
The Top 20! With infinitely more Kelly Clarkson than ever before! 20) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 19) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 18) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 17) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 16) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 15) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 14) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 13) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 12) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 11) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 10) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 9) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) Alright. 2007 had a bad week. 2017 didn’t fuck up Kendrick week. Is it gonna fuck up Paramore week?
5.13.2017
44) "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back," by Shawn Mendes
So before I even listen to a single note, the inconsistency of the title's abbreviations has me peeved. Why would you abbreviate one word but not the other? Is one g much more special than the other? Does Shawn Mendes pronounce the g in nothing, but not the g in holding? Because I've heard Shawn Mendes sing, I'd be surprised if he hits the "th" and the "ld" in those words. /// You know what? I'll give it a "not as bad as the title." I don't come away from this song having made any new conclusions about the world or Shawn Mendes as a person, so I can't really argue that this was worth the three minutes of my life it took, but it's not Joe-level nothing, so hey! It has that going for it!
64) "Lust for Life," by Lana del Rey ft./The Weeknd
I'm not here to make a judgement call about the modern adolescent experience in relation to the one I went through. I think this song is fine, it's actually kind of great in a way I'm not gonna bother to place, but I think that it's worth noting that the modern teen's "Hot in Herre" is this. There's a lot of value in a sad song with the "take off all your clothes" refrain, again I dug this, but I didn't dig it enough to try to figure out why that might be, because I'm just thinking about what a jam "Hot in Herre" is and how I think I've heard like maybe two great party jams over the course of this project. We had "Run Up," you guys. The teens don't want to party. And, I mean, why should they, it's rough out there, maybe they deserve to just shrug when they see their boyfriend approach and say, "Huh, he got a little cooler. Le sigh."
68) "Attention," by Charlie Puth
Not gonna lie: when I saw that Shawn Mendes and this dude were on the ledger for this week, I thought the milquetoast white boy army was gonna ruin this W for Paramore. I thought the weight these two idiots would add to 2017 would give the W to a week in 2007 with a Kara DioGuardi joint. But just like the Shawn Mendes song, this was acceptable! In fact: I would give this a B-! It's not as drastic a zag as when Ed Sheeran dropped "Sing," but this is reasonably funkier, a degree of funk which I never would have thought Charlie Puth capable of achieving. I think this song might be his ceiling, I can't imagine having as good a time with Charlie Puth as I did with him here (especially now that the element of surprise won't be in play), but, y'know, solid three and a half minutes. Not the worst!
87) "do re mi," by blackbear
Ah, so THIS is where we were keeping the unexceptional white boy! I knew he had to be hiding somewhere! This is the song you write you have completely purged your life of everyone who told you that you weren't clever. This is the song you write after having no one around to tell you that the fact of a curse word isn't edgy on its own. "Do re mi fa so fuckin' done wit' ya" is a garbage line because the shock is being solely derived from the use of the f-word, and that can only get ya so many times; by the time he repeats it for the sixth time, you'll think it's do re mi fa so lame he couldn't think of anything cooler to do with the conceit than recite the scale then swear. You're a songWRITER, dude! You tellin' me you could only think of one pun based on the scale? OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN AIN'T GOT THE MONOPOLY ON SCALE-BASED PUNS, YA KNOW. SO MANY OTHER WORDS BEGIN WITH FA. TRY HARDER.
90) "Hard Times," by Paramore
gosh this song fucking rules. y'all mind if i'm just a boy writing a diary for a second? because this is a song about me. i'm someone with a defeatist attitude, i'm the exact sort of person who meets hard times by giving up, and that's what this song is, it's a song about giving in and feeling defeated. they're not looking back on low points in their life and saying, "gosh, can you believe we made it?" they're sinking deeper and deeper still into a depression and saying "how the fuck do we survive," and that's such a beautiful sentiment, especially in the trump era, where i'm sure a lot of us are still shellshocked and feel the task is too tall. but they're putting this happy, energetic face on it, this song is this bouncy uptempo jam about being incredibly depressed, because it's easier to pretend you don't need help than it is to ask. i love this song. i don't care if it falls off the chart next week, it's the new #1.
93) "My Girl," by Dylan Scott
...I think I'm just feeling generous today. I'm willing to give this a "didn't mind it." Am I amazed that they just keep finding new dudes to make this exact country song? Yeah. But, it's like the Shawn Mendes song, there just isn't enough in here for me to react negatively to. The Eminem reference is probably the most exotic shoutout in country music going, and especially refreshing because I'm still angry at "Johnny Cash" from last week, and the dude has the bass country voice going, he has that earth-shaking twang instead of that nasal fuckboy twang a lot of these dudes got going on. It wasn't as engaging as that "Hurricane" thing from a couple months ago, so I'm still gonna call it bro country, but this is probably the least I'll ever mind bro country. Congratulations, Dylan Scott! Of all the bro country chucklefucks, you have emerged as the least chucklefucky!
Top 20! Only one new entry! It’s an important one. 20) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 19) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 18) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 17) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 16) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 15) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 14) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 13) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 12) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 11) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 10) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 9) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 8) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) May you last longer than “Run Up,” “Hard Times.” 
Who won?
2017. Neither had a great week, apart from one exceptional song from both sides. “Hard Times” is simply better than “Never Again,” is what it comes down to. And now: 2017 has the lead for the year! 2017: 4 2007: 3 Looking into the future, 2007 has four songs. 2017 will be entering “Young and Menace” probably. ...I already don’t like next week.
0 notes