#They get me out of the house fuckingg DOING something other than crying in the dark
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Wide awake at 5 AM stressing about money.
#Ahahaha. Hahaha.#Bills?? Bills.#Mortgages and condo fees and vet bills and more vet bills and food prices#Insurance and taxes and no incoming income.#EI barely giving anything and no callbacks for any jobs#Savings depleting#And I know I should cancel my damn dance lessons but they make me happy#They get me out of the house fuckingg DOING something other than crying in the dark#Even if I can’t afford them.#God I am just.#I am so close to having to beg for money like.#I didn’t think it would take me? this long to find a new job.#I have applied to so many and had professionals look over my resume but I am either overqualified or? Not the right fit I guess.#And cursed. The few times I get any callbacks something outside of my control goes wrong.#God but even the jobs I apply for don’t have great money and I just. Fuck#I don’t know what to do. And no one hires in December so I just have to hope January brings SOMETHING but.#I am just so stressed. I cannot sleep. It is all just hitting.#If I didn’t have a roommate I would have sunk months ago but I just. I just.#I wish I was an artist so I could do art commissions. So that I could do something.#All I can offer in exchange for money are fics people don’t read#And professional editing I guess but there are few people who would pay for that in fandom spaces.#Anyway. What a massive failure I am. Ny younger sister is now talking about going to law school and she’d be so much better at being#A lawyer than I ever was but also fuck I don’t want her to go for such selfish reasons because it highlights how much of a fucking#Waste I am. And I am. I can’t get anything and my prospects suck because the idea of going back to private practice law makes me want to??#Die really. Fuck. FUCK I don’t know what to do I am being left behind I am running out of money#text#Chey.txt
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