#They gave drugs to TK but he didn't know

[kokonoiis]

NOW LOADING . . . KOKONOIIS' KINKTOBER 2024 TOKREV FIC LIST

tags ; age gap , threesome , blasphemy kink , purity kink , camming , sugar daddies , power imbalance , stripping , exhibitionism , club sex , dubious consent , drug use , somnophilia , drunk sex , high sex , cucking , fake relationship , voyeurism , public sex , psuedocest , mentor kink , secret pining , consensual non consent , stalking , hatefucking

##SENJU KAWARAGI & WAKASA IMAUSHI ﾉ age gap, daddy issues, threesome the night before takemichi's wedding, your girlfriend senju tells you about wakasa, a guy she used to work out with frequently at the gym that she knew was going to be at the wedding. thing is, you already knew him, having had a one night stand with him a few years ago. senju immediately had to know more, but it didn't really seem like she was jealous for the reasons she should be jealous. oddly enough, the day of the wedding comes, and senju seems pretty adamant about spending time with wakasa during the event. it's a little awkward, but for your girlfriend, you'd do anything.

##TAIJU SHIBA ﾉ purity / blasphemy kink the church was otherwise silent other than the deep voice of the man on his knees in front of the cross, his head bowed, searching for forgiveness for the sin he was committing. the sin ? you, spread out right in front of him, trying to stay otherwise silent like he had told you to be as he finished his prayer before he indulged in this carnal sin. he'd get to you, as long as you could be good during his prayers, and he'd be even more generous if you could recite a few prayers while he was in between your thighs.

##HAJIME KOKONOI & TETTA KISAKI ﾉ camming, sugar daddies, power imbalance both ceos of the tk & ko group knew that their new secretary had a secret hobby that you tried to keep separate from your work there, but personal lives always had a way of bleeding into professional ones. not that either one of them minded, either, and even supported you silently on their own before they decided that they would like to take part in your hobbies, too, since they were funding it. somehow, though, you didn't seem too against the idea of letting them join in for a few livestreams.

##WAKASA IMAUSHI & SHINICHIRO SANO ﾉ stripping, exhibitionism, club sex shinichiro had a look on his face that sent a shiver down your spine, but still you sat in between him and wakasa in the booth, your little latex outfit riding up your thighs as you listened to what wakasa wanted you to do for him. you weren't a shy person, not really, but something about the look on shinichiro gave you made you want to hide in a corner. still, you had to put on a show, and you were not in the business to disappoint.

##HARUCHIYO SANZU ﾉ dubious consent, drug use, borderline somnophilia he swore that it would be a fun little ride, that he would help you through whatever you go through. he assured you that he'd taken the drug so many times, of course he knew anything that could possibly happen to you. you weren't going to tell him no and of course there was a part of you that was curious, too, so you took the pretty pills. it would be okay, of course, you had haruchiyo there to guide you threw the trip, and if his hands started to wander, well, that was part of the fun.

##RAN HAITANI & RINDOU HAITANI ﾉ dubious consent, drunk sex, competitive sex you came to the late night halloween party with a guy dressed as the killer from those cheesy scream movies, but spent most of your time with the dj, who could shoot back shots faster than you'd ever seen before. you had no idea that the two of them knew each other, until you went home with the dj only to find the guy you ditched there as if he were waiting for you, and he certainly didn't seem happy that you left him for his younger brother. you'd have to find a way to apologize to him, even if your brain was a little fuzzy.

##SHUJI HANMA & TETTA KISAKI ﾉ cucking, fake relationship, voyeurism fake dating tetta kisaki had its perks, of course. it didn't hurt that he wasn't bad to look at, and he was pretty padded in the wallet, too. but the important part of the title was the ' fake ' in fake dating. as long as you didn't let the public know, you could see anyone you wanted, within reason, of course. you never thought you would exercise that privilege until you met shuji hanma. shuji didn't think he would want tetta's girl, either, until he met you. it seems you both had the same thing in mind, there was only one piece left of this puzzle.

##YUZUHA SHIBA ﾉ handcuffs, public sex yuzuha was never really the same after taiju was killed, but that was okay, you loved her still all the same, come hell or high waters. of course, you and your girlfriend had gone through this discussion before. if she was caught by the police and had to give a statement about her whereabouts on that night, you knew exactly what to say and how to prove her innocence. you were her alibi, so it was important you play your role to perfection. even in such a serious situation, though, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful your girlfriend looked, with her hands cuffed together in the interrogation room.

##SHINICHIRO SANO ﾉ psuedocest, secret pining, mentor kink you'd shown up at the sano family residence one day as many people tended to do if they were a part of tokyo's delinquent world, but you never really left. you weren't part of the family, but you also weren't... not part of the family. eventually, you got your own room to sleep in if you needed to. sometimes you didn't fall asleep immediately, though, too focused on the growing need between your legs, although you could never quite get there for one reason or another. shinichiro was more than aware of this, of course, and he was also willing to help you out, too.

##HARUCHIYO SANZU ﾉ cnc, stalking, hatefucking dating haruchiyo was the worst decision of your life, but it was far too late to take it back now. after you caught him with a camera inconspicuously put inside of a gift he gave you, you had finally had enough. lucky for you, your lease was ending, so you were able to move into a different apartment on the other side of tokyo. unlucky for you, sanzu wasn't going to let you leave that easily. he was never, ever going to let you get away from him that easily, no matter how fast or far you tried to run from him. he ruined your life, but that wasn't enough for him. he needed to ruin you.

[mrsjavierp]

Where you belong?

Chapter 4 - Moth to a Flame

Javier Peña x latin!f!reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the whole fic): +18!, angst, smut, cheating, last relationships, drug dealing - Narcos Universe (not so accurate), bad spanish, english is my second language, use of Y/N and Y/LN. No physical description of the reader, only your clothes (sometimes). The POVs are shifting between reader (first person and Narrator - 3rd person)

(If I forgot anything, tell me, pls!)

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I'd love to know about you're thinking about it so far! Your opinion is really important! Tks <3

*

Narrator's POV:

Javier and you joined Connie and Steve, who pretended that they didn't notice how both of you were so full of shame and desire.

Connie looked at Steve and whispered to him how incredibly funny it was to see the denial...

Even with you pretending that nothing happened.

It was almost too predictable.

To Connie and Steve, nothing could be any funnier than seeing all of the sexual tension.

While Javier lit up a cigarette, he only could think about how you'd be the one to blame.

*

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

Mierda, Díos mio, I beg you, please, Díos, keep this pendejo away from me.

"So, Y/N, what did you leave in NYC?" - Connie asked.

"Just my family... And maybe my sanity, but I still can find it here." - I responded, showing my glass full and lighting up my cigar. - "I do have to admit that here, the cigars are far better than in NYC."

I've gotta say that hanging out with'em was really fun, but I couldn't forget Javier's touch on my skin.

*

When I got home, I felt something wrong, but nothing was out of its place

My body was on fire, burning for him... The way he looked at me while I drank or smoked, how he picked me up and saved me from drowning...

I swear that I tried as hard as I could: not to think about him. I took a warm bath, supposed to be relaxing, but my mind kept going back, kept playing tricks.

He was just right there... My fucking neighbor.

Finally, I gave up.

As I got out of the tub, I accepted my fate: I'd lay in bed and touch myself thinking of him.

Laying down, my hands weren't enough, something was missing... Or better, someone was missing.

No, in a romantic way.

It was dirty and vicious. An obscene and vulgar fantasy.

Yes, a really filthy fantasy, that Javier could be between my legs anyway possible: with his hands or mouth or even that stupid huge dick...

No matter how, as long as he did it... As long as he put those big hands on me, playing with how sensitive my skin felt under his touch... Those lips, who held that mustache and smile, oh, how they could just drink me up, his tongue exploring my folds... His dick, hard, fucking me through the mattress...

His sinful body all over me, my deepest and most secret desire.

"Fuck it!" - I said to myself. - "It's just a fantasy, a dumb one. It'll pass."

I opened my drawer and chose my vibrator.

My vibrator could be named after him, as Agent Peña, since it made me come so many times at the thought.

"Vamos, Agente Peña. You've got yourself a job to do." - I whispered, almost as a confession.

*

Narrator's POV:

As Peña arrived home, he heard a weird noise, coming from another apartment, but he chose to ignore it. Too much going on already, as he figured.

What a hella fucking day, he wish he could forget all about.

His hands touching you, as you were wet and half naked.

Yes, your smooth skin chilling under his touch, your nipples hard showing off on that ridiculous bikini.

Your nails freshly done, red as your... Outfit.

Your mouth drinking and smoking.

Javier made up an excuse and left about an hour after the... incident, looking for his favorite prostitute.

A wave of shame hit him, when he remembered that he couldn't be hard, as much as he tried.

When were his time to lay down, the weird noise became clear: a female voice, better, a moan, saying "oh, fuck... Oh, babyboy..."

Could be you? With someone? Oh no, please, not like this… - He thought. This is not the way to find out that you were screwing someone…

Until he heard: "Good boy, Peña..." - his cock twitched as he realized that was his name.

Su nombre. Peña.

Javier couldn't think straight, wondering who it was, but hoping for someone in particular. He couldn't even breathe right, as if it would interrupt what was happening.

His curiosity was killing him.

However, nothing, absolutely nothing prepared him for what came next: "Good boy, Peña... Such an obedient soldier... Go ahead, keep those lips on my pussy, I'm so close again..."

So close? Again? Obedient soldier? Good boy?

His mind was rushing so badly... He was horny, curious, but in doubt. How could he be sure? Could he run to that apartment next door and do something?

His cock was throbbing painfully on his pants.

He only hoped for it to be you, calling out for him, wishing him.

And he would be anything you wanted, would do anything you asked.

At that time, he was already yours, without you even wanting to.

And he'd be the best you ever had. He'd ruin you, as you did to him.

He was tense, but his brain fully focused on hearing anything new, anything you could give to him.

"Oh, Agent Peña..." - you moan. - "Yeah, fuck yeah, just like that..." - he was imagining what you're doing, as his hands finally went to his dick, above his pants. - "Go ahead and make su jefe come on your lips, soldier."

At that moment, he lost it.

At the same time, Javier hesitates: should knock on your door or stay in, enjoy you from a safe distance and act slowly?

*

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

Pretending as if I didn't come until fall asleep using my vibrator, whose nickname was Agent Peña, I decided to explore my neighborhood a little, discreetly.

I walked around aimlessly, until I discovered a little cafe, so cozy. Nothing like a Starbucks, so far away, thank God. Seemed truly local.

I came in, as I got closer to the balcony, a sweet little old lady smiled:

"¡Mija, buenos días! Me llamo Ana Hernández. ¿Qué te gustaría comer o beber?" (Honey, good morning! I'm Ana Hernandez. What you'd like to drink or eat?)

I reciprocated the smile, I was right.

"¡Buenos días, Señora Hernández! ¿Té helado tal vez? (Good morning, Misses Hernandez. Maybe an ice tea?)

"¿Mija, limonada de coco, que tal?" (Honey, I've got a coconut lemonade, how about it?)

"Sí, entonces. Para llevar, por favor." (Yes. To go, please.)

She served me, I tasted, it was so delicious, so refreshing, just about the right amount of sweet. Actually perfect for such a hot day.

"Gracias, Señora Hernández. Buenos días." (Thank you, Mrs. Hernandez. Have a good day.)

She smiled again and told me to come back when I could.

Distracted, I only thought about really coming back to eat or taste something new. What else could I do around here?

Out of nowhere, someone bumps hard on me, at its door, spilling my lemonade on me.

"¡Mierda!" (Shit!) - I cursed, looking at my summer dress wet and sticky, when I noticed Javier was the bumper.

"Lo siento, señorita... Y/N?" (I'm sorry, miss... Y/N?)- Javier seemed shocked. - "¿Qué haces aquí?" (What are you doing here?)

"Fuck! I came to drink an ice tea, but Señora Hernández offered lemonade, instead. The lemonade you spilled all over me and on the floor." - I responded, drought.

Damn you, Peña.

"I'm sorry, cariño." - he said. - "Please, take a seat, I'll bring another one."

Cariño?

I found his sudden behavior strange. Normally, he would act like an asshole, but there he was: being a nice guy.

I sat down and waited for him to come back to our table.

After ordering, he came.

"My question was serious, Y/N. How did you find out about this place?"

"I was just walking around, Javier... What? Is this place your territory now?"

He acted like my response was a joke and laughed.

"Well, I'd like to think it was. Not even Steve knows about it. Señora Hernández is my savior. Her food and coffee always made me feel good, even with a hangover."

His nice behavior made me even more suspicious.

"Mijos, there you go. I also brought Mantecada for Javi and since you liked your limonada, I brought Marquesa, with blueberry."

She served our food and drinks and left us.

"Javier, you didn't have to..."

"It's my apology, Y/N. I didn't mean to ruin your dress or spill your drink... And we're not at work, you can call me Javi."

"Fine."

I've felt under surveillance by Javier, while taking a bite of my Marquesa.

I let slip a moan, and told Señora Hernandez that I'd want to marry that thing.

They found it quite funny.

"Díos Mio, cariño, I didn't know you had such a sweet tooth... If I knew it, I'd have brought this Marquesa to you at the office."

"To be 100% honest, I'm not the biggest sweet tooth I know, but his one here? Oh fuck... And you take it to me? At the office? I can't hold my arsenic, I know you hate me as your boss."

Javier shrugs his shoulders, not seeming to care.

"Y/N, all that I know is that your position requires a bunch of sacrifices. I'm not here to judge... But yes, sometimes, you make me want to test your arsenic resistance." - he laughed.

We shared that meal in silence for a bit.

"I didn't expect you to think like this." - I admitted. - "Hey, did you notice that Señora Hernandez keeps staring?"

Javier lowered his voice:

"It's the first time she sees me talking to someone. To be honest, I've never talked to anyone here. Her snoopy way reminds me of mi mama."

"Su mama? Really? How come?"

"Yeah... Small and nosy, saving me with a hot meal and spoiling me with any dessert... I also met this place by accident, when I arrived here. Mi mama is deceased already, mi papa stayed in Texas, at our ranch."

I chuckled a little.

"Is that a latin curse? Mi abuela and mi mama are just like this as well. I missed a lot sometimes. Other times, I appreciate being far away... Sorry, I didn't mean to over share or to be insensitive."

He smiled and I didn't follow.

"It's tricky, isn't it? Especially when we leave so much pain behind. I missed a bunch of stuff as well, but, to me, Colombia came with peace."

"Peace?"

"Not even the violence and chaos could be in the way of this feeling."

"Javier, we all have baggage... But I don't think that runaway is going to make'em disappear." - I could feel the weight of my words as I spoke... I was on the run as well.

"You definitely wouldn't say that if you knew about my situation, cariño..."

"Oh, we're making assumptions now? So, You'd find me shallow actually. We're not here to judge anyone's personal life. When I accepted the DEA's invite, of course I looked up the team... But I focused on the professional side, the personal. I couldn't care less."

Javier seemed surprised.

"You, shallow? Why? Because you didn't quit your career to marry and raise kids?" - he asked, trying to make a joke.

"Pretty much, actually. At the time, I was planning on it, when I got the DEA proposition. However, things didn't turn out well to go this way. Now, I don't want to marry nor have kids, so I gave up. Colombia was also my getaway car to sanity, Javi. You're not the only one with a past."

"Despite I'm not the only one, you grabbed the first chance to rub on my face where I got my inside info." - he continued, a bit hurt.

"Javier, I couldn't care less if you pick up prostitutes or gotta a favorite brothel. It's a you problem. But yes, I do think it could be a liability." - it was half true.

"Good to know. Gracias, cariño."

I looked confused at him, drinking my lemonade.

"For being so careful and not judgy towards me."

A glance with a cozy air floats around us, like a bubble, isolating us. It was a warmful, no judgemental, kind and considerate air.

Shifting my eyes to the street, I said:

"You can show me how thankful you are by revealing what else we got around here, neighbor. Shall we?"

He smiled.

Fuck, what a beautiful stupid smile.

He insisted on paying and left a big nice tip to Señora Hernandez.

We got up and left, walking around for a bit. He showed me stores and restaurants. Apparently, we've got a quite nice vicinity around.

Finally, we went to the apartment complex and each got to their own apartment, as we said goodbye.

As I got in, I felt so dumb... So stupid for letting him in.

Javier felt human. A latin fellow with struggles, a life in the US, a family... Not an arrogant bastard who slept around with anyone. He lost his mama, only got his papa. Probably single, missing Texas.

My ex also felt like a... Real person, not a cheating bastard who not only slept around but also fucked half of Manhattan's prostitutes, making me look like "such a good agent, but a blind and lousy fiance."

I came with a job to do. I needed to get it done and only this matters. - I thought

Next

[f1rstresponder]

because yes @fiercehearts

Head wound. Overdose. Moderate traumatic brain injury. Swelling and increase in intracranial pressure. Medically induced coma. A woman in a white jacket said these things on the first day, as if all her years of study and practice gave her the right to look at TK like that – with such pity – and speak those words as if he didn't realize already how bad things are.

It's been nearly a week now, TK thinks, but it's hard to keep track of time. Most of the days were spent at Carlos' bedside, with TK refusing to leave the room for the first two days, and then finally agreeing to leave the hospital for a whole 5 minutes on the third day to get some fresh air. Which he didn't need. He needs his fiancé to wake up and get better and just– survive.

Logically, TK knows that the drug-induced coma, even after the overdose, was necessary. It would reduce the energy requirements of the brain, which in turn reduces blood flow and pressure, and allows the brain to rest. To heal. Emotionally, though.. TK's a mess.

They've slowly started to wean Carlos off the sedatives yesterday and he may begin to slowly regain consciousness soon. Could even take a few days, the doctor warned, so there's no need to constantly hover, but Carlos has been getting a little more restless and TK just has to be there when he wakes up.

He forgoes the sofa-bed tonight, instead deciding to spend the night at Carlos' bedside in the chair he's grown way too accustomed to over the last week. Andrea brought pillows and blankets, so the chair isn't too uncomfortable, but still.. TK's back is anything but happy when he leans forward to rest his head on the bed, his fingers gently curled around Carlos' arm. He's been careful to avoid the damaged skin of Carlos' wrists that's still raw and chafed from struggling against the damn zip ties.

"Goodnight, baby," he whispers quietly, just like he does every night before he falls asleep to the beeping noises of the monitors and the mechanical whir of the ventilator.

[tarlos-spain]

Februwhump Day 18 - Forced to watch

Title: They took you and they made me see

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Owen Strand, Gabriel Reyes

Summary: "Hello, TK, is that you?"

"Grace, yes, they've taken Carlos, they've drugged us and they've taken Carlos. He went to the bathroom and they just took him. I... there was something in my drink, something got into me or... I don't know, maybe someone gave me something and I relapsed but..."

"TK, honey, I need you to calm down. I'm sure you haven't taken anything. So just breathe and tell me where you are and what happened."

"I can't. My head... It's killing me and I can't think. Carlos...they've taken him," TK repeated again, increasingly dazed, dizzy and unable to concentrate on anything.

He had too many things on his mind: Carlos, the drug, his body, the place that was spinning, the voices around him... They were talking about him, but there were too many of them and he wasn't able to concentrate even on Grace's voice.

"TK... TK... Are you still there?"

Chapter 2

TK's awakening scream caused Owen to rush into the room. Behind him were also Judd and Gabriel.

Owen froze as he found TK sitting up in bed, tugging at the restrictive bracelets that had been placed on both of his wrists. He was screaming and protesting in desperation, and was about to hurt or dislocate one of his wrists.

Judd went over to the bed and forced him to lie down, all the while Gabriel and he were telling him that everything was okay, to calm down.

"I don't want to be calm! No! Carlos! They took Carlos! Carlos!"

"TK, boy, you're going to hurt yourself," Gabriel told him, rested a hand on his chest and waited for him to look into his eyes. "We're looking for Carlos everywhere, we know they took him, we have the videos from the cameras, we're going to find him."

Gabriel's words managed to relax TK a little, just enough for Judd to manage to knock him off his feet altogether. He turned to Owen and motioned him over.

The captain was in shock, of all the horrible things he had seen his son go through, this seemed the worst, because it almost looked like TK had lost his mind.

The doctor had said that the drug would leave his body completely within a day and even though the time was about to pass, his son was still extremely upset and out of it. He couldn't help but look at the bandages on his arms where both at the bar and the hospital he had managed to stick something in, believing he could pull the drug through the wounds.

He walked slowly over to the bed and sat down next to TK. It took a few moments for his son to notice his presence and when he did, his whole body began to tremble, his eyes filled with tears and he bit his lip to keep from bursting into desperate tears.

"Dad..."

"I'm here, my boy. I'm here."

"I didn't mean to take anything, Dad, I promise." TK tried to reach out a hand toward his father, but the handcuffs wouldn't let him. He groaned in desperation and tried again. "I...I didn't want to...I didn't want to take anything...I didn't want to relapse...I don't want to."

"I know, I know, TK." Owen stroked his son's cheek in an attempt to calm him, though he knew that as long as Carlos was missing, TK wouldn't calm down. "They drugged you, they drugged both of you to take Carlos."

"Why? who are these people? what do they want with Carlos?"

"We don't know yet, boy," Gabriel resumed speaking.

TK was already a second son to him; although he had found it hard to accept that his son was gay he was now unable to imagine him with anyone but TK, no one who loved him more than that boy.

"I'm not on the case, you know, because of the conflict of interest thing and because I'd kill the bastards who are doing this to him." Everyone in that room thought so. "But I've got enough friends in the police that they'll be giving us all the information on the case."

"Dad, I have to get out of here." TK tugged at the bindings on his wrists again. "I'm not crazy, do you think I'm crazy? That's why you tied me up, isn't it?"

"TK, no one thinks you're crazy. But those people drugged you with a very strong hallucinogen. The doctor said you could really hurt yourself. See this?" Owen pointed to the wounds on his son's arms. "Remember you did that to yourself?"

TK looked at himself, everything that had happened during the night or in the last few hours was a black hole in which he remembered some things, sensations rather, terror, hatred for the strangers who had taken Carlos, again horror at the situation, fear of never seeing Carlos again.

But he did not know what had happened to him or what he had done.

"You scratched your arms."

Keep reading on AO3

[doublel27]

Do you think the Tarlos conversations in 3x13 are going to include stuff about their break up? Rafael spoke about it in that interview he did and insinuated that it might be brought back up. I could see it being discussed if they really do talk about their commitment and their future but that’s it? I’m hoping the addiction part of the storyline and the future talk part of the storyline lead into each other. I’m just really hoping for some good honest conversations but we’ll have to see how deep they go with that 🥺

Sorry I didn't answer this yesterday, dear nonny! Yesterday, my blog was dedicated entirely to Trans Day of Visibility, but I hope you see it today. I think they likely will have some stuff about their break up. Actually, when I saw this post yesterday it was like you read my mind, because I woke up thinking about the conversations they might have. I was thinking a lot about how we as a fandom have talked about Carlos being a little jealous/upset that TK is talking about the Sadie of it all with someone else, but the quote of TK's Tim gave us in the interview

“Sometimes, I might be late getting home because I’m trying to recover, but the only reason I’m late coming home is so that I can come home. It’s to make sure I’m doing the things I need to do in order to get back to you.”

And I thought about the words "might be late getting home" and I thought about the fact that Carlos has, effectively, had about six incidents in the last two years where it was either very likely TK could die or both of them could die and like, the anxiety we saw at the end of 3.08, with Carlos hugging TK so hard he almost bowled him over, and the tears and the immediate self-blame, and now we add on the Sadie incident. There's a real chance that if TK isn't very explicit on where he is and when he'll be home, Carlos will be straight to worst-case scenarios, and I don't think even half of them involve TK being high, but most of them definitely involve him being hurt or dead. This then lead me to while Carlos cannot possibly understand TK's recovery and how Sadie drugging them is different for TK as an addict than it is for Carlos, TK also has no idea what Carlos's anxiety is like after the amount of times Carlos has already mentally prepared that either TK or he may not survive a situation. And to get back to your ask, I think all of this, feeds into the conversation they're going to have. I think there's leftover feelings from the breakup-because while they're solid that shit leaves scars, I think there's Carlos's anxiety about TK's safety drugs or know, TK's struggles with his sobriety as well as his anxiety about being in this situation with Carlos who only knows sober TK, and then we have what Rafa talked about in the interview about TK's issues with commitment. Mind you, I don't think TK is afraid of actual commitment, as much as TK is terrified that good things don't last. A lot of this is based on his parent's relationship and the on/off, we also have his Dad's marriage to the mysterious knife-wielding Lorraine, his mom ending things with Enzo and then his own dating history with Alex. And I think TK thinks, based on like, everything he's ever said plus the break up, that he is the damaged thing that makes things not last. With his feelings about what Sadie did to him, I can only imagine TK is going to be worried that he will be both too much and not enough for Carlos at this point. Meanwhile, Carlos has months of memories of living in the loft alone without TK, hoping that maybe TK will reconsider and come home despite all of his professions to Marj that sometimes you have to know when a thing is over. And I think all of this will get wrapped up in their conversations. I may or may not have started a speculative fic, just upping the amount of works in the process, but as I have over a week until 3.13 drops, I HAVE TIME! (we'll see) I'm excited for the episode that Ronen has titled #Tarlos for us. Ronen hasn't steered me wrong so far this season, and I'm going to trust him.

[3416]

Wasn’t expecting Tk to be drugged too 😔 I’ve been concentrating on Carlos getting hurt the whole time. But now I can see how it’ll lead into the next episode and potentially where they’ll be some angst if Carlos doesn’t think Tk should be saying he’s back at Day 1 of his sobriety etc and maybe Tk wants Carlos to meet his sponsor so Carlos can understand TK’s head space more? Unless the sponsor doesn’t actually agree with Tk? I’m not actually sure. And I’m also wondering if Tk has already told Carlos about his near relapse or whether that’ll be a part of 13’s storyline with TK’s addiction. So many questions and no answers of course 😅

i don't think they'll have the day one thing mentioned with carlos probably since they already gave us that at the firehouse, but he definitely is going to notice and try to comfort tk in a way that might ? kind of annoy tk bc he doesn't get it. like obviously from the quote tim shared, one of the big stressors is gonna be the fact that tk's coming home later than normal and it's concerning for carlos, who's not let in on all of the info. i am VERY curious if the introduction of the sponsor is tk's idea or if it's a coincidence or something that leads them to have conversations later in the ep, but for right now i'm gonna guess it's actually tk's idea (wishful thinking). there's a possibility of them running into the person randomly (the word surprise in the synopsis is the biggest hint), the person mentioning smth abt seeing tk later... some fight is sparked bc carlos didn't know exactly where he's been going bc he's been walled off abt it... then cue a makeup scene where they communicate n tk lets him in on it. i also don't think tk's told him about the almost relapse but idk!! if we'll even get thatjfjfk i hope so.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Okay so frankly I don't deserve any of this pain 💔💔

I seriously love the fact that we found out what happened with the corrupt cop guy, Griffin I think (it's late okay xD), and saw that at least he wasn't a COMPLETE psycho maniac out on the streets, but still didn't try to like, redeem him or anything. Now THAT would've been horrifying, and multiple people were drugged or almost burned alive in this episode.

Also, yes, I love Nancy <33. And Marjan :DD :') (good cry).

Anyway! Final thoughts over, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

Okay, I absolutely LOVED this episode. It focused on Owen, but like, not too much? Marjan got her moment(s) to shine, and by shine I don't only mean literally and figuratively mic drop all the time, but also just express her trauma. Or at least, the show showing us her trauma. Brilliant, I'm so glad she was the one who was the most disturbed and not Owen.

I KNEW SADIE WAS SUS!!! I mean, not as early as some of y'all, because I was like "Oh, come on guys, chill!! Stop being so distrustful all the time 🙄 xD"

BUT UH

HERE WE ARE XDD

I'd thought for a moment when the art gallery was burning down that maybe she set it on fire, especially when they (I believe it was Gabriel, now that I think about it - yeah, pretty sure it was) said she was painting with headphones on. I don't know, it was just a little sus xd. And I mean, not only is that a pitiful sounding excuse, but I'm SURE there are other ways to notice a fire 😭😭😭 xDD.

Aaanyway, TARLOS!!!

I loved them so much 😭😭😭😭😭

Why does it always have to be the episodes with all the soft moments that are angsty? UGH!! Anyway, they love each other so much 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 - speaking of that, I have a post that will probably end up on here tomorrow relating to their love and Sadie :33. Anyway!! It was so so sad but so so beautiful, like so so g o o d, so so ANGSTY!!!! I mean, I wouldn't say beautiful as in it's a masterpiece, but it's pretty good. Now I'm talking specifically about the Tarlos Sadie scene (which, by the way, I'm so glad didn't have a bunch of cuts in the middle - it had like, the one, if I remember correctly xdd), by the way, lol. But anyway, Carlos and Sadie's little insane smiles, the quiet questions from Carlos as he just stares at her. Like, I respect the effort, but unfortunately my dude, my child, her face does not hold the answers to why she is crazy. I doubt it ever really does (in most cases xdd).

Also, I can't talk/even think about this for long, but: TK losing his sobriety. It hurts so bad. . . Like, he didn't even do it on purpose! It wasn't of his own volition, and to the best of our knowledge, at that moment (or basically by the end of the episode time wise xdd) he didn't want to again. I took time to read a fic (already uploaded - y'all are legends) and it gave me the thought (not that I was super surprised or a thing) of "Since TK had no choice in the matter, he's not back to day one". And like, yeah! I'm not an addict, but I kind of get the disappointment in yourself, for doing that Thing you're not supposed to do again. And to be able to keep moving on through your lift after that, without constantly focusing on it. It's hard to truly believe you are the same as before, or it doesn't matter, but it's possible to believe it.

And it's not an exact comparison because with drugs there's something LITERALLY in your system, but I thought of this: If someone is addicted to self-harm but has been clean for a while, and then someone cuts them with a knife, say, in a a mugging or something, and then they don't get back into it and continue the harm themselves, then they did nothing. It sucks, but it happened :/.

Anyway, I've been trying my best to make this coherent, but I still have half of a journal entry to write, so I'm trying to go quickly, an I apologize if it's incoherent lol.

Overall: I absolutely L O V E D this episode. Tarlos wasn't a focus, though we know it will be next week (which even if we didn't know from the summary and current story arcs and teasers - in words I mean - from multiple people, we'd be able to tell from Ronen's VERY blatant posts lol), but they still got some absolutely amazing scenes in there, angsty and fluffy (more fluff, and side, moments than scenes, the rest of each scene as pretty much just angst lol), so I'm very much happy with that :)).

I do wish, however, that we got to see Carlos in a hospital bed, or just more of that whole aftermath in general, but he still may see it in the future! A flashback would be boppin :D. Or, maybe just an unrelated time in a hospital bed :D. I mean, I imagine we'll get it at SOME point (who knows, though, Maybe Rafa's playing 'lie so badly that they think you're lying but you're telling the truth' with us, lol XD. But, nonetheless, over all, I am VERY happy with the episodes and the Tarlos movements.

Anyway! Owens storyline was great, Marjan's storyline was great, Nancy's storyline was phenomenal (they're - they being the paramedics -, or specifically Nancy and Tommy in this case, she in particular, are just so good at showing emotions 😭😭😭 Love it, beautiful <333.

Mateo had some nice funny moments, Judd was there a little bit being his usual charming lovely self :)), and Paul was once again burdened with being the only one to have the brain cell of the entire time XDD Beautiful, lol

And even though we only saw her for a second? I love my beautiful talented skilled trained kind amazing lovely girl Grace <3333. :') So awesome, crying from happiness because I love her so much :DDDDD. Lol, but seriously, h e r <33.

Also, I love how dedicated Tommy was to Nancy and keeping her job safe 😭😭😭 ✋ stop I can't xdd

This is a very long overall, whOOPS, but yeah! This episode has basically everything; at least little moments for all the characters, and larger moments for characters (especially relating to certain plots, like Marjan for example) who don't always get those :))

But, yeah, it had angst, whump, fluff, mystery, feels (specifically family feels, like always, but even more in some parts), and humor :D. Such a great episode, and amazing plot(s) in general! So glad Catherine want evil :). That woulda sucked xdd.

But, yeah. I love them all :')) (happy crying - ignore the angsty parts for a minute lol) <33333.

So, yep!!! I definitely L O V E D this episode, and I'm excited for more. This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 12: Negative Space

I really enjoyed it, and I hope to enjoy the next one just as much, especially since I have to wait an extra week for it - and I know it will heavily feature TK and Carlos, so that's a bonus. I will hopefully see you in two weeks for my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 13: Riddle of The Sphynx

See you then!!!

[retrocelly]

I Didn't Mean It Pt.2 (Nolan Patrick)

Word Count: 1,693

Part One

     Your break from Nolan had given you the time that you needed to think about your relationship. However, the more consideration you did, the more confused you felt. Over the past two weeks, you'd been enjoying the space that you had to spend time with friends and focus on yourself. Although regardless of how happy you felt in the moment, your mind always seemed to drift back to the rosy-cheeked, long-haired boy you’d left behind. The one you had waiting on you. You knew that it was cruel to make Nolan wait for so long without even a text sent between you. Despite that, he had been respectful of your wishes. He didn’t call you when he was feeling down or text you when he’d seen something that reminded him of you. He hadn’t even commented anything on your latest instagram post. And while you were grateful to him for staying true to his word and giving you time to think, you missed his presence in your life. All you were surrounded with now were the gentle reminders of how much you loved Nolan and how much he loved you in return.

     But now those memories were tainted with a sour taste left behind in your mouth and a dull ache in your heart. Nolan’s words had left you feeling unsure of yourself; like an outsider in your own skin. Despite the fact that he told you he didn’t mean what he’d said, you couldn’t help but wonder if that was a lie. Maybe he did mean it and he truly didn’t find you beautiful and he’d only told you otherwise as a way to spare your feelings. Maybe he spent his free time talking to all the women he found more attractive than you. You’d spent days going over those thoughts - analyzing them, crying over them, and hating them. But no matter how many tears you shed, they just didn’t make sense. 

     Nolan was a loving, doting boyfriend. He paraded you in front of his friends and consistently made you feel loved. When you’d first met Nolan after getting sat next to him on a plane, he’d leaned over and told you “if this place has more girls that look like you, maybe I shouldn’t leave after all.” You’d laughed at the line and he had apologized for the cringe-factor of it almost immediately. That first interaction just didn’t fit with the idea that he hadn’t found you “love at first sight kind of hot.” So, maybe he didn’t mean what he said to the guys after all. Maybe it was just Nolan’s profoundly stupid way of seeming less lovestruck than he actually was.

     Nolan’s time away from you was pure hell. He didn’t like waking up and knowing that you wouldn’t be next to him. He felt isolated without the ability to talk freely with you. The hardest part for him, though, was the guilt he felt after explaining to his mom that you wouldn’t be staying with him for a while. She knew how much you meant to Nolan. Hell, she was in Philadelphia when he’d pulled her aside and tentatively asked “uh, mom, how should I tell a girl that I love her for the first time?”

     Nolan spent every second of the day with a lump in his throat and a clouded head. It was like he didn’t remember how to live without you. He had thought that you would feel the same, but when the first week of your break had come to a close and you hadn’t even called him, he got worried. A few days later when he first opened instagram and was met with a photo of you smiling widely on the couch of your favorite bakery, his heart broke all over again. At that point, Nolan was sure that he’d ruined it. He had been an idiot and you’d finally realized that you deserved better than him (something he’d known and worried about for the entirety of your relationship). It took everything in his power not to text you then - to pour out his heart all over again and tell you how sorry he was - but he knew that that wasn’t his place anymore. He knew that he needed to respect your decision no matter how much it hurt him.

     When there was a knock on Nolan’s apartment door, the one that he had once shared with you, he assumed that it was just one of the boys coming to check on him - something that had become a regular occurrence. Without moving from his place on the couch, Nolan shouted “yeah, come in!” He didn’t look away from the TV right away, expecting that whoever his intruder was would just make sure he was still alive before leaving. However, Nolan didn’t hear TK’s heavy footsteps or Claude’s nagging to clean up. So, he looked up, his bloodshot eyes meeting yours for the first time in what felt like ever.

     The contrast between the two of you couldn’t have been more stark. Nolan was slumped back on the couch in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt with unwashed hair. You were standing in the doorway wearing an outfit that Nolan hadn’t seen before and a fresh haircut that made you look so put-together. In Nolan’s eyes, you were everything he had been missing and it hurt his heart to see you. He stood quickly, trying hard to look like he hadn’t spent the past two weeks sitting in his own guilt.

     “Are you here to get your stuff?” Nolan asked through a scratchy throat, “I assumed you’d be by at some point to pick it up.”

     You gave him a quizzical look, but he never met your eye-line. Nolan wanted to make this break-up as swift as possible so that he could just try and forget what a fuck-up he’d been.

     “What?” You responded, causing Nolan to look at you.

     “I mean, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To end this with me?” His voice betrayed him, cracking as his cheeks grew hot.

     “No, Nolan, that’s not why I’m here.” 

     You moved toward the tall man, giving him a gentle smile as he looked at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. Once you were standing in front of him, you reached your hand out to brush against his, earning a wide grin from Nolan.

     “Really?” He asked, tears threatening to fall.

     You didn’t speak, not trusting your voice. Instead, you nodded up at him. It wasn’t even a full second before Nolan had you in a hug, his hands around your waist. He had his head buried into your shoulder as he lifted you off the ground, your arms immediately going around his neck to keep you against him. Your eyes welled over at the relief of being back in Nolan’s strong grip. You giggled at the vibration against your skin as Nolan mumbled incoherently against you. He lifted his head from your shoulder, not loosening his hold on your body.

     “Oh my god, baby, I am so, so sorry - you don’t even know. And I know that I probably can’t make it up to you, but if it helps, life has been horrible without you.”

     You had your hands on either side of Nolan’s face as he rambled, comfort flooding your senses as you looked at him.

     “Nol,” you quieted, “I missed you too. But I need you to know that what you said really hurt me. I want to be able jump back in and be able to trust you again. And I think I can do that because I know how much you love me and I believe what you said about it being a lie. I just want you to know that if you ever do anything like that again, I won’t be able to simply come back to you.”

     Nolan nodded at you, a grin fighting its way onto his face,

     “I know, baby. I’ll never be able to take it back, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and proving that I didn’t mean it. I love you more than anything in the world and I’d do anything to show you that. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

     You gave Nolan another tearful nod as you noticed his eyes dart to your lips. He leaned down slowly, not wanting to cross any boundaries. You closed the gap, your lips falling instantaneously into a familiar rhythm with Nolan’s. The kiss was feverish, full of everything that had happened within the past two weeks. Nolan moaned into your mouth, but you recognized it as one of appreciation rather than something sexual. When you pulled away, Nolan pouted and leaned in again, causing you to laugh.

     “Not so fast, hotrod,” you chastised, “how about you clean up this mess and clean yourself up and then we can talk about making up for lost time.”

     Nolan groaned, but dropped his hands from your waist and drug his heels to the living room. He slowly moved around the room, straightening things up and sighing at you dramatically. You laughed at his antics, shaking your head when he wiggled his eyebrows at you. After the room looked organized again, a lightbulb seemed to go off in Nolan’s head.

     “Okay, compromise!” He shouted.

     You raised your eyebrows expectantly at him, crossing your arms.

     “I just cleaned up the house, so how about instead of waiting for me to take a shower and stuff before we make up for lost time, we can kill two birds with one stone and make up for lost time while I’m taking a shower.”

     You shifted on your feet as Nolan looked at you, pretending to contemplate your answer. You could see him making his way toward you as you stared at the ceiling in fake thought. Suddenly, Nolan had you thrown over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom, ignoring your shrieks and laughs in protest. Safe to say, Nolan made sure that you knew just how hot he thought you were.

[tarlos-spain]

Februwhump Day 12 - Spiked drink

Title: They took you and they made me see

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, TK Strand, Owen Strand, Gabriel Reyes, Tommy Vega, Judd Ryder

Pairing: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand

Summary: "Hello, TK, is that you?"

"Grace, yes, they've taken Carlos, they've drugged us and they've taken Carlos. He went to the bathroom and they just took him. I... there was something in my drink, something got into me or... I don't know, maybe someone gave me something and I relapsed but..."

"TK, honey, I need you to calm down. I'm sure you haven't taken anything. So just breathe and tell me where you are and what happened."

"I can't. My head... It's killing me and I can't think. Carlos...they've taken him," TK repeated again, increasingly dazed, dizzy and unable to concentrate on anything.

He had too many things on his mind: Carlos, the drug, his body, the place that was spinning, the voices around him... They were talking about him, but there were too many of them and he wasn't able to concentrate even on Grace's voice.

"TK... TK... Are you still there?"

Chapter 1

As soon as the song ended, Carlos wrapped his arms around TK's waist and gave him a kiss on the neck. It was their song, or at least that's what they had decided one day, because everyone asked them what their song was, and it seemed almost offensive when they said they didn't have one .

Now that X Ambassadors song had become their song.

TK wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck and gave him a long, intense kiss as they both laughed.

"What are you guys celebrating?" the bartender, James, who had watched their relationship grow since that first night they had danced together, asked them. "Are wedding bells ringing?"

The two looked at each other and realized the other was blushing. It wasn't the first time they had talked about a wedding, but it still sounded far away. Even though they had been living together for over a year and intended to spend their lives together, TK was still panicking about the subject of a wedding and Carlos didn't want to push him.

"None of that. No," Carlos said. "A Saturday night that we both have off. Now that's something to celebrate."

"And you say that, with the shifts you guys have, how do you see each other?"

"You could say we make magic."

They were happy, the vacations were coming and they had decided on a trip. TK wanted to show Carlos New York, but not the one all the tourists knew;he wanted to show him his New York, his favorite places, those corners where he had spent his childhood. Austin was his home now, but New York would always have a special place in his heart despite everything that had happened.

"Then that's something to celebrate," James said, setting two glasses on the bar in front of them. "An iced tea for the paramedic of the year and a lager for the best cop in this bar."

They thanked him, took the glasses and returned to the table.

They had decided to decline their friends' invitation to all go out together. They wanted and needed, for once, to be alone. It had been a long time since they had enjoyed a real date.

They hadn't had much time alone for the past few days and wanted to enjoy that night to the fullest. They didn't ask for much really, a quiet night, being alone together, not getting any emergency calls that would make them rush to work because the world was ending, and having a couple of drinks. Which, in their case, meant iced tea or mineral water for TK, and maybe a beer for Carlos and then some soda.

Since they had started dating, Carlos hardly drank at all. He had always told him that alcohol wasn't his thing, but TK wondered if he meant it or if he did it so that he wouldn't feel bad.

It was the first time he'd ever dated someone who did something like that for him. Alex had always been a drinker. He had asked him if it was okay with him when they first got together, and when TK told him it was no problem, when they went out Alex drank like everyone else.

Carlos's sacrifice, whether it was because he didn't really like to drink or because he did it for him, was one of the things he would never have enough time to thank him for.

When Carlos got up without warning, TK looked at him in surprise. "Going for another?" he asked him.

"No, no," Carlos soothed him, "I'm going to the bathroom for a moment, but if you want another you, I can get you some tea."

"No, I'm fine. But, listen, if you want another one, you should drink another one."

"I'm fine," Carlos insisted, though his voice sounded a little muffled.

"Are you sure? You know I don't care if you drink."

Carlos grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Corny moment of the night... The only thing I really want to drink is your lips, but until we get home I can't do it the way I want to."

TK cleared his throat and bit his lip.

There were few things that made him heart race faster than the sex-related innuendos Carlos said.

"Okay, I'm going to the bathroom and then we're going home because that drink I know how to make for you."

Carlos pulled him back in and gave him another kiss, longer, deeper and wetter than the last.

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