#They don't have a chronological order but at first sight you can see how old it is... Maybe

[honehonn3honey]

All drawings about Kirishima from 2019 to 2024

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[yall-batman-fanfic]

In the Events of My Death: The Bruce Wayne Tapes | Batman/Bruce Wayne x Magician!Reader

Synopsis: Inspired by one of the clips in Gotham Knights, one where Dick, Jason, Tim, and Barbara found the video that Bruce wanted to post that would be the cover story of his death. Vivian helps out Alfred with cleaning up the Batcave and comes across a thumb drive that had an interesting video. No, not video. Videos.

Vivian shouldn't be surprised. She knew the reputation Bruce Wayne had when she came to Gotham. The billionaire-philanthropist-playboy was his title after all. Yet when she saw a certain harddrive that had one folder that says: Cover-Up Story for Bruce Wayne's Death. She was shocked. Who might have underestimated the playboy in that title.

~*~

“There is really no need for this, Ms. Vivian,” said Alfred as he placed one of the archived case file boxes in one corner in the Batcave. “I can handle this perfectly. Besides, it’s one of your rare days off! You should rest or do an activity outside, not dusting the Batcave and fixing Master Bruce's things.”

Vivian finished organizing the files in the box and waved a hand to have that box and the one that Alfred carried brought to the storage in one of the many storage places in the cave. “Alfred, it’s fine. There's so much to do here and you've already got a lot on your plate. Besides, Dick and Babs are coming over so we'll get this done faster. Magic can only do so much, you know.”

“Like lifting boxes?” Dick's voice echoed from the pad where he parked his motorcycle. Arriving just after him was Barbara who happily greeted them with a smile. 

“Glad to see you both can make it!” Vivian waved at them from the top.

Coming to where they were, Dick and Barbara greeted Vivian with an embrace, but the woman held onto the latter much longer. She was just glad to see that after three years and seeing the girl's fight to walk again, it finally paid off. 

“Well, it is spring cleaning, right?” Dick shrugged. “That’s a lot of cases.”

“Yeah, and I want this done before the end of the day, so, chop chop!” Vivian went back to one of the boxes she was putting away. “I know I shouldn't ask but, is Condimentsman even a case you want to keep in archives?”

“You know the man you married, Viv,” Barbara laughed. “He likes to keep things in file. Even the cat he saved from the tree.”

They worked for a few hours, sorting through cases, putting them in chronological order under certain categories. It was there when Vivian saw the transition from folders and binders to hard drives, which she, Dick, and Barbara had to sort through to see what it holds. 

In the middle of their sorting, Alfred went up to get them some snacks and then prepare to leave to pick up Tim from school, and it was then that Vivian saw it.

“Wow, this is old,” Vivian muttered as she opened the drive and saw the one folder in it that says: Cover-Up Story for Bruce Wayne's Death. “Hey, kiddo, come here for a second!”

“Coming!” Dick called out. It took him a couple of minutes before appearing at her side with Barbara. “Oh, that looks interesting.”

“It is,” Vivian said. “I don't think we —”

“We should,” said Barbara.

“Come on, it must be private.”

“Viv, we're gonna see it anyway in the event Batman dies and we need to make a cover for Bruce Wayne,” Dick shrugged. “I say we look at it now, besides, aren't you curious?”

She was. Very curious.

“Alright,” she sighed. “This is just because we will eventually see this in the unlikely event of his death.�� Just saying it brought sadness to her. Vivian couldn't imagine how she would cope if Bruce were to die.

Opening the folder they were met by over a dozen clips. She decided to open the very first one in the list –”

“HOLY —”

“FUCKING —”

“SHIT!”

The three of them were left gaping at the sight of the video. It was a shot coming from someone else's camera, they weren't sure how Batman got it but he did. And the footage was of Bruce Wayne in his twenties, stripping in the Iceberg Lounge, wearing only his boxers. Music blared and audiences cheered as Bruce did his moves.

“Fuck,” Vivian couldn't believe what she was seeing. 

Was that really her husband?

“Holy shit, this is…” Dick wanted to look away, and he should but he couldn't. 

“That's it, I'm burning my eyes,” said Barbara. “Alfred, where's the bleach?”

“Bleach? What on earth do you need bleach — and what is that noise? Oh dear…” Alfred fell silent as he saw the video they were watching. “Ms. Vivian — Mrs. Wayne, I-I-I do apologize about — I was supposed to dispose of those myself!”

Vivian turned to Alfred with a raised brow, “So, this is why you wanted to do this on your own huh?”

“You must understand, Ma'am,” Alfred stumbled in his words – the man never does — and ran to the computer and stopped the clip. “Those were taken long ago — all the way back in Master Bruce's early days of his return. He needed to keep up appearances as such to keep them from thinking he is Batman.”

“That doesn't really explain the stripping, Alfred,” said Vivian. “How many of these does he have? Oh god, does he have a sex tape here?! How come I never knew about this!?”

“No… not that I have any knowledge in. Please, let me explain.”

“Please, do Alfred,” Barbara said as she sat on a stool. “I need to find a logical explanation for what I just saw.”

Alfred sighed. “As I said, upon Master Bruce's return the Batman appeared. In his first year there were already suspicions of Bruce Wayne being Batman. To silence those whispers, Master Bruce needed to create a persona that would keep them from thinking so. Thus…”

“Billionaire-philanthropist-playboy, Bruce Wayne. Emphasis on the playboy,” Vivian concluded.

“Precisely, Ma'am. He made many appearances in many places, making sure they all are memorable to make good alibis if ever the police would come and question him again. Master Bruce collected all these footages manually and compiled them in this hard drive which is labeled as such.”

“So, Bruce wants to be remembered as a stripper when he dies?” Dick said.

“Oh my god, my Father's worse nightmare. I married a stripper,” Vivian massaged the bridge of her nose. “How come he never told me this?”

“Perhaps, Master Bruce is embarrassed by these videos,” said Alfred. 

“I would be embarrassed too,” said Barbara. “

“Shall I collect these and throw them to the bin for incineration, Ma'am?”

“No,” Vivian said. “I'll be keeping hold of this for a while.” She unplugged the drive and hid it in her pocket. “Bruce will be home any minute now, I want this place done and all of you upstairs before he comes home. Alfred, tell Magic Mike that I want a word with him in the cave.”

Alfred sighed and nodded, “Very well, Ms. Vivian.”

Dick snickered. “We'll get this place cleaned up before he gets here, Viv.” He nudged at Barbara to come along. This was going to be interesting.

~*~

Bruce had a bad feeling about this. Not his Batman-bad feeling, but as a husband. When he came home, he was immediately told by Alfred to go to the cave where Vivian waited. Passing by the sitting room, he greeted Dick and Barbara, but the two only held back laughter and were snickering, which confused him and Tim.

By the time he opened his passage to the Cave, he heard Tim say, “Come on, spill it out. What are you two laughing about?”

Coming down the cave, Bruce could hear distorted loud music mixed with howls and cheers. Was Vivian watching a movie at the Batcomputer? She wouldn't! Not only because he's repeatedly told Dick, Jason, and Tim that the Batcomputer was not a home theater — besides, they have that in the manor too.

“Vivian, is everything alright?” Bruce called out.

Oh no.

There, from the stairs, he saw it. The clips. The many, many clips of his party raves, the clips of him foolishly dancing and stripping, and making an utter fool of himself in his early twenties. Dancing in parties, drinking (but really that's just ginger ale), getting lap dances, making out with every woman he had in his arms, making an utter fool of himself. And watching it all was Vivian.

Alfred was supposed to burn that hard drive!

When the clip showed him making out with one of his model dates then, Bruce ran to the computer and stopped the clip. Turning it all off.

“I can explain,” he told her.

“Don't bother, Alfred already did,” she sniffled.

He saw tears falling down her face, her eyes and nose all red and puffy as if she had been crying for a long time now. 

No, no, no…

Bruce knelt before Vivian. He pulled down her legs that were pressed against her chest and held her hands. “Viv, please, you need to understand. Those were nothing — I made them before I met you. I did all of those long before we met — I was an idiot who thought —”

Vivian wiped her tears. “I know, I know, and it was a smart move. Alfred told me why and I understand… and I was actually having a really good time, laughing at them but then it hit me… Bruce, is this really how you want people to remember you? A wild child. An asshole who does all of that?”

“It was for a cover.”

“Your legacy is not just Batman, Bruce. No one will know who Batman is, but they will remember who Bruce Wayne is,” Vivian wiped more tears away. “It was supposed to be a good laugh… me watching this but it really just hit me, what if you do die and this is all that we have to give you a cover! Or worse, you made some sort of trigger to put this out there in the event of your death and we have no idea! Think, Bruce. Think about your parents, about Alfred who raised you.Or think about me. What would it look like if that got out? It would be humiliating for me, for Dick, for Tim. It's all laughs now but the aftermath of it.”

Bruce got up and brought Vivian to an embrace. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should have burned those a long time ago. I should have gotten rid of them the moment I turned my life around, when I realized I didn't need to be some party raving alter ego to keep them from connecting Batman to me. I should have destroyed them the moment we started dating.

“I wasn't thinking. I knew they were here but I never thought it was urgent to get rid of them.”

Vivian got up from her seat and wrapped her arms around her husband. “What hurts more, I think, is the fact you wanted to keep this from me. What happened to for better or for worse?”

Bruce held her tight. “I know… I just thought it would hurt you if you found them.”

“I would have laughed with you if we watched all of these together and not be this blubbering mess now,” she laughed.

“I promise. This is the only one. The only secret that I have from you. The rest you know all about it,” he kissed the top of her head. “I'm so sorry, Vivian.”

Vivian shook her head and told him. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, Bruce.”

“I made you cry.”

“This is my own doing. I shouldn't have watched them behind your back.”

“I still made you cry because I hid them from you.”

Looking up, Vivian got on her toes and kissed his lips. “Forgiven. I'm sorry too, for snooping.”

“It's cleaning day, it was inevitable,” Bruce sighed. 

Wiping her tears, Bruce leaned down and kissed her. “No more secrets, I promise.”

Vivian let out a laugh, “And I thought I was the wild-child between the two of us.”

“I don't think I can top your record: demon hunting, exorcisms, and parties,” Bruce teased. “You don't happen to have videos that are…”

“None. Unless you count the one that had BBC News reporting about Halloween and we were running in the background being chased by a demon.”

“I'll start looking for that.”

Smiling, she kissed him again, but her smile fell as the thought crossed her mind. Bruce noticed the changed and asked her what she was thinking. She said: “I don't want the day to come where we'd have to put up a cover video to explain how Bruce Wayne died… I don't ever want to do that.”

“And you won't. I'll do everything to come back to you, Vivian.”

Taking the hard drive, he held it out for Vivian and said, “Would you do the honors?”

Laughing, Vivian had the hard drive levitate in midair and then burned to a crisp.

~*~

It was late in the night when he returned from patrol. Vivian was fast asleep but the sound of their bedroom door opening and his shoes strolling in woke her from her slumber. Getting up, Vivian greeted Bruce with a, “welcome home,’ with a yawn.

Cape and cowl removed, Bruce sat on the bed and greeted her with a kiss. “Go back to bed,” he said.

“I will when you get here,” Vivian patted on his spot. “So hurry up and get cleaned up. I miss you.”

Chuckling, Bruce leaned down and kissed her again before getting up to head to the shower. He had a quick shower and once done, he went straight to bed, snuggling close to his wife who did not mind his nude body under the covers. 

“Are you asleep?” Bruce asked.

“Nope, I can't now with you poking me from behind,” Vivian teased him.

“Since you're awake, I want to show you something.”

“Bruce, it's later. Let's stay in bed,” Vivian whined.

“We will, it won't be long. I promise,” Bruce reached for his phone and did a few swipes and taps before finding the thing he was looking for. “Here, watch.’

Vivian opened her eyes and watched from his phone the footage he got. It was one of the footage she took during their honeymoon or was it one of their dates on the yacht? Bruce was laying on the beach bench and she was the only holding the camera recording the entire thing.

Bruce, if you wanna sleep, go below deck. Else you'll get sunburned, the Vivian in the video said.

The Bruce in the video sat up and pulled Vivian down, there was a struggle in the camera, laughter and kisses were heard and soon they saw their faces as Vivian held the camera facing them.

Always looking after me, He said in the video.

Somebody has to.

I love you, Pryor.

I love you, Wayne. 

The video ended and Bruce swiped to another one, this time it was taken during their dates and the one who got the shot was a man from the press who wanted to get footage of the couple having a dance, both conversing about something that made Vivian laugh and Bruce kissed her.

The next video was of the couple being filmed by one of Vivian's students as they had a lunch date at Gotham University’s cafeteria. The students teased them, asking how the “michelin star” food was.

The next video was of them walking in the museum. It was Dick who took the shot and was teasing them a lot.

Then the next video, and the next, and the next. All showing videos of the two of them, all stolen moments, all filled with laughter and love.

“In the event that I die, I want one of these to be put out,” said Bruce. “I want them all to know about Bruce Wayne who was a loving husband to his wife. Because you are my legacy, Viv. You and the boys.”

Vivian turned to face him and kissed him deeply. “I love you, Bruce,” she said.

“I love you, Vivian,” he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him. Laughter erupted from the couple's lips as she felt him press against her thigh. In one swift movement, she removed her top and Bruce easily moved her underwear to the side as his fingers played with her folds and her clit. 

“My love, I can't wait any more,” Viivian whispered and aligned him to her and went down until she got him to the hilt. 

Bruce held her waist and helped her move. “I wouldn't mind dying tomorrow if this is the last thing I see,” he joked.

Vivian bit her lip and then took his phone and handed it to him. “We're deleting it immediately.”

She was sure to have felt him grow harder inside her as Bruce turned on the camera and started recording after placing it just above to give the footage a good view of Vivian riding him. 

“I wouldn't mind this going out too,” he teased.

“No,” Vivian rolled her hips, making them both moan.

“Right, just for tonight then,” Bruce chuckled and thrusted his hips up, making her squeak his name. 

The video lasted for an hour, and the two decided to keep it longer than intended to watch as they gave themselves to each other.

[tala-bez-i]

At first sight Chapter Thirty-Three

(m!reader x Bonten!Haruchiyo Sanzu)

Fluff/slash/reader is male/cursing/BontenTimeline/drugs and alcohol mentioned/violence/blood/death

All characters that appeared in the Tokyo Revengers manga and anime belong to Ken Wakui.

Words: 4965

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“Remember, Y/n, if anything suspicious happens, let me know right away.” Sanzu straightened your tie and smoothed out your light blue shirt that you had decided to wear today. 

“If something really starts to go wrong, I will do it. Please don't worry so much about me.” You caressed his cheek with one hand. "I can handle it. Besides, as I've said several times, I don't think Tsuyoshi has prepared any trap for me." You fastened your watch bracelet and took a sip of the weaker drink you couldn't resist. 

“How can you be so sure?” The man asked quietly as you put on your jacket. 

“I just am.” You buttoned up and walked up to him, cupping his face in both hands and looking into his eyes. “I have a gun just in case.” 

“Is this supposed to calm me down?” 

“Do you trust me, Haruchiyo?” You asked quietly, still looking into his dilated pupils, which you would happily let yourself drown in. 

“Y/n…” 

“We agreed that I should let you know if anything needed, and I will if the situation requires it.” You kissed him and gently ran your thumb over one of his scars. “Put me down a few houses away and I'll be fine.” 

Saitama. You remembered visiting the local parks with your sisters, although you were well aware that many of the events from that time seemed to blend into one. You couldn't put everything in chronological order, which really irritated you sometimes. Even old photos didn't help you. 

At first you didn't know why your uncle lived so far away from you, but only later did your mother explain to you that it was your father who left his hometown and moved to Tokyo. You always thought it was the other way around... 

You stood in front of the gate to L/n's family's property and looked at the well-kept front of the single-family house. Everything was just as you remembered. The building is preserved in a traditional style, although there are some traces of modernization here and there. The short trees and bushes were neatly trimmed and shaped, and the path leading to the house was decorated with flowers. Almost the same as yours... 

You rang the bell at the gate and after a while the door to the house opened and a man you knew well stood in the doorway. He beckoned you over and after a short while you were walking down the gravel path towards him. In both hands you held a white stuffed rabbit. 

“I'm glad you decided to come after all.” Tsuyoshi greeted you, his searching gaze sliding over your face. “I see that a lot has happened in your life since our last meeting.” 

"It's better now." You answered not very loudly and the man let you inside. “I brought a small gift...” 

"I see. He will like it.” Came the answer and as you changed your shoes for slippers, you were led to the living room, where you put the rabbit on the chair. “Yuuta is in his room upstairs. First, I wanted to introduce you to Ms. L/n.” 

You followed the man into the bright kitchen and saw a woman at the table who, at first glance, seemed to be not much older than you. You raised one eyebrow at your uncle, realizing the age difference between him and his wife. 

“Love, this is Y/n, my nephew. Y/n, my wife, Kiyoko.” 

"Good morning." You bowed politely. 

She smiled warmly and returned the bow. “I'm glad I finally got to meet you. Can I call you by your name?” 

"Naturally." 

“So, Y/n…” She walked up to you and pursed her lips as she looked at you closely. "Seriously?" 

“Seriously what?” You asked confused and the woman shook her head. 

“You definitely won't see the boy with these bruises.” 

For a split second, your heart sank and you were about to say something less than polite back to her when she grabbed your hand and started leading you somewhere. 

“We have to cover them all up somehow.” She said in a calm tone and as you walked through the doorway of the small room at the back of the house, your eyes widened in surprise. 

There were wardrobes in the room, probably full of clothes, and against one of the walls there was a dressing table filled with a large amount of various cosmetics. She didn't mean... 

“Sit here, Y/n.” Kiyoko sat you down on the stool and looked at your face again, muttering something under her breath every now and then. 

“Are you going to do some makeup for me?” You asked hesitantly, feeling the corner of your mouth twitch nervously. 

“I can handle it perfectly. You'll be surprised." She grabbed a fluffy headband from the dressing table and was about to approach you when you extended both hands towards her. 

"Hair clips." You said quickly and the woman looked surprised. “Hair clips will be enough... Please.” 

She shrugged and replaced the headband with two small hair clips before brushing your hair away from your face and pinning it up gently. 

"Thank you." 

"Okay." She grabbed a bottle and a pack of soft cotton pads and began to gently cleanse the skin of your face. 

You felt your cheeks begin to blush involuntarily and you were grateful that no one from Bonten saw you at that moment. You submitted to the procedure without the slightest protest and began to secretly look at her. 

She had short, shoulder-length, neatly arranged, dark brown hair, with a small gold clip with small green stones attached to it on one side. The ornament matched her small teardrop pendant on a gold chain. 

Her eyes were brown and, on her eyelids, just near the lash line, there was a slightly smudged line made with brown eyeliner. The eyelashes themselves were long and coquettishly curled, their color not much different from the eyeliner used for makeup. 

There was a hint of pink on her cheeks, which matched the woman's complexion perfectly and gave her a more youthful appearance. The petite lips were a natural-looking, light peach color, and you thought the entire makeup looked very neat and natural. 

Kiyoko was pretty and caught your eye, but you didn't feel uncomfortable about it. If your uncle fell for this woman, you were 100% sure it wasn't just about beauty. She had to be a good and intelligent woman, otherwise... 

“You keep looking at me, Y/n.” She laughed softly, gently applying concealer to your bruises. 

“Ah, sorry.” You answered her, suddenly feeling embarrassed, but the woman responded with a quiet giggle. “I didn't think my uncle would ever get married.” 

“Because he had no intention of doing so.” She smiled broadly. “I had to take matters into my own hands.” 

“Don't exaggerate. I still think the age difference is too big...” Tsuyoshi said as he entered the room. “I could easily be your father.” 

“Don't be dramatic.” 

"It's almost a 30-year difference... My parents had reservations about Kenzou marrying a woman 11 years younger than him..." The man began, but stopped and looked away when his wife gave him a short, meaningful look. “I'll check what Yuuta is up to. It got suspiciously quiet upstairs.” 

“Yes, very good idea, honey.” You felt slight embarrassment as you witnessed this little argument, but at the same time you felt excited at the thought of your child playing somewhere in the house. Just a moment and you will be able to see him with your own eyes. 

“Don't worry, Y/n. Men of the L/n family prefer younger partners. Even between my in-laws, there is about an 8-year difference.” She powdered your face and looked at you closely, assessing her handiwork 

“Yes, I remember... But I never thought about it.” 

“You were actually the first to break that pattern.” She laughed quietly, putting the previously used cosmetics back in their places on the dressing table. 

She was right. Emiko was your age, and so was Sanzu... 

“Tell me, Kiyoko…” You watched as the woman wiped her hands with a wet wipe. “Don't you feel like you're wasting your life with an old man like Tsuyoshi?” 

"Nope." She removed the clips from your hair and gently ran her fingers through them. “He's a wonderful man and, honestly, my first partner who can listen to me.” 

“I'm glad you're happy with him.” You said honestly, remembering how fond you felt for your uncle when you were a child. 

"Thank you. Come on, let's sit in the living room.” She headed for the door, and you followed her, glancing in the mirror as you went. 

You stopped when you saw your reflection and blinked a few times, surprised at how good a job the woman had done. Your face looked much better than usual, and despite the fact that you knew exactly where the bruises were, you couldn't see the slightest trace of them. 

“Come, come, Y/n. From here you can hear that your firstborn has been making trouble again.” Kiyoko smiled broadly, standing by the stairs and gesturing for you to come over. “Tsuyoshi never shouts at him, but you know how loud his voice is.” 

“He's only been with you for one day... What does that mean again?” You asked and stopped at the stairs, listening to the single words that fell from the man's mouth. 

“Sometimes they let us bring him here so he could get used to the surroundings. There was always a guardian from the orphanage with him, and once Yuuta felt confident, he started making trouble. He's adorable and we can't be mad at him. Yesterday, less than 10 minutes after arriving, he broke three flowerpots in Tsuyoshi's studio. He doesn't do it maliciously. He is simply bursting with energy.” 

You looked surprised at the amused woman and after a short while you heard the sound of children's feet running across the wooden floor. 

“Come here you little rascal.” The grown man's louder footsteps followed the giggling child, and the corners of your mouth turned upwards involuntarily. 

“I'll make some tea and you make yourself comfortable in the living room.” Kiyoko gave you a mischievous wink and disappeared into the kitchen. 

You stood by the stairs for a while, listening to some sounds, but apart from the child's laughter accompanied by a slightly amused male voice, you didn't hear anything else. 

You returned to the cozy living room and sat down on the comfortable sofa. You looked at the stuffed animal you had brought for the boy and smiled uncertainly. You began to feel the stress of the inevitable meeting with your own child, whom you had only seen in one photo, and you began to wonder if he was really as much like you as everyone said. You'd be lying if you said you didn't get into trouble when you were the same age as him, but... 

You shrugged. If a child, after such experiences, quickly began to act out and behave as if no harm had ever happened to him... Was it normal? 

"Yuuta?" You heard the woman call out and your heart skipped a beat again for a split second. “Come down, honey. You have a guest!” 

“I'm coming, auntie!” A still amused boyish voice replied and you froze at how carefree he sounded. Was that really your baby? 

Kiyoko entered the living room carrying a tray in her hands, on which she had a teapot with a floral pattern, four cups and a plate with various sweets. She set it on the coffee table and after a while Tsuyoshi entered the living room. 

“Blood from Y/n's blood. You don't know whether to strangle him or hug him." He mumbled and the woman stroked his cheek tenderly. “Wall needs repainting.” 

"Sorry." You mumbled, feeling embarrassed, remembering what you used to do at your grandparents' house. Your mother always had her hands full. 

Your uncle gave you a quick look and suddenly a laughing boy jumped into the living room and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you. His eyes, which were actually the same color as yours, stared at you as if the boy was seeing a human for the first time. His black hair was combed, although there were still a few stray strands sticking out to the sides. 

There were no bruises on his exposed legs and arms, and neither was on his sweet face, which made you happy. He was well-groomed and no longer seemed as small as in the photo. 

"Good morning." He said in an uncertain voice, bowing politely as befits a well-mannered child, and then his eyes fell on the plush toy. 

“Good morning, Yuuta.” You smiled gently and encouraged the boy to take the toy. “This is a small gift for you. I hope you like it..." 

The boy looked at his guardians as if waiting for permission, and as soon as the woman smiled, a wide smile appeared on the child's lips and his arms wrapped tightly around the white rabbit. 

"Thank you!" He said and sat down in the armchair, right next to Tsuyoshi. His eyes stared at you searchingly over the toy. "So..." 

“So…” You repeated after him, feeling more and more awkward, and Kiyoko clapped her hands gently, getting your attention. 

“For whom should I pour tea?” She asked cheerfully and Yuuta raised his hand first. 

He took the half-filled cup in both hands and blew slowly to cool the fragrant brew a little before taking a small sip. His eyes kept stealing glances at you and you reciprocated his interest, being careful not to overwhelm the child with it in any way. 

“Yuuta, do you remember what I told you with your aunt?” Tsuyoshi spoke in a calm tone, wondering which cookie to choose. 

"About what?" The boy asked, very carefully placing the cup on the saucer on the table. 

“About your dad.” 

The boy pouted his lower lip slightly and gave you a quick glance. He nodded and hugged the toy tightly again. 

“Maybe you'd like to…” Kiyoko began, but the boy blushed and shook his head vehemently, hiding his face behind the mascot. 

Your heart fluttered and you felt a certain kind of sadness begin to wash over you, but you smiled slightly, knowing that you had no reason to feel this way. The boy didn't know you and his reaction didn't mean he wanted nothing to do with you. It was completely normal and understandable. 

"How do you feel?" You asked after a moment of silence. “I heard you like to show off. I did exactly the same." You added quickly, seeing something like a flash of fear in the boy's eyes. 

Not sensing the anger in your tone, Yuuta smiled slightly and shrugged. "Sometimes..." 

“Do you like football?” 

“Yes, but I can't play it.” He replied to you, looking at Tsuyoshi. “Uncle said the garden was too small…” He shrugged again. “Mom's garden was bigger, but…” 

His face suddenly showed sadness and the boy buried his face in the stuffed rabbit again. “It's nice here.” 

“If you can ever visit me…” You started as if nothing had happened, popping the entire cookie into your mouth and chewing it slowly. You winked at the boy. “Then we will play football in my garden. It's bigger than your mom's." 

Yuuta's eyes widened and he looked at Tsuyoshi, who became slightly confused and looked at his young wife as if waiting for her opinion. Kiyoko laughed softly and gave the man a meaningful look. 

“You are the head of this family, not me.” 

"Maybe someday." The detective replied after a moment, and the boy bit his lower lip slightly, as if trying to hold back the smile that was already on his lips. 

After less than fifteen minutes, the boy began to squirm in his seat, clearly unsure of what to do with himself as the adults carried on a casual conversation among themselves, and Tsuyoshi nodded to him that he could go back to his room upstairs to continue playing. 

Yuuta jumped from the armchair, gave you a wide smile, which you now noticed was missing one white tooth, and fled the living room without saying a word. 

“He lasted a long time.” The man sighed, sipping the tea that Kiyoko poured for him. 

“It's nice, isn't it?” She joked, helping herself to some cookie. “After what he has been through in his short life, he quickly recovers.” 

“I'm glad his traumas don't dictate his terms.” You looked down for a moment. “I noticed that he doesn't necessarily eat sweets.” 

“Oh, no. Yuuta likes sweets, but he was just embarrassed to eat more around you.” Kiyoko laughed. “Although he doesn't despise fruit, which makes me very happy.” 

“He avoids honey melon like the plague.” Your uncle interrupted and you winced, remembering the fragment of the recording you had managed to see before Kisaki covered your screen. 

“It's because his stepfather and mother used this fruit to….” 

“Don't say anything else, Y/n. We understand." Kiyoko said quietly and you nodded. “Honey melon disappears from the menu.” 

Tsuyoshi sighed and put down his cup, muttering something unfavorable about Emiko under his breath. 

“Yoshi.” His wife grumbled, frowning slightly. 

"That's the truth." 

“I don't have a good opinion of my ex either.” You drank some tea. “The most important thing is that the child is now safe.” 

“These bruises…” Your uncle began after a while. “Any task or just a fight?” 

“You don't want to know and I'm not going to say anything.” 

“If you need help getting out of there…” 

“I don't want to change anything, uncle. I appreciate your concern, but I've been at this too long to just change it.” Your tone sounded a little colder than you were going for and you sighed. "Sorry..." 

"No problem." 

"Can I ask you something?" You looked up at the man, who looked more tired of life than he had a few minutes earlier. 

"Of course." 

“Aren't you afraid that Yuji will come here?” 

“He didn't do it after he run away, and I don't think he will do it now.” Tsuyoshi replied in a very confident tone. 

"Why?" 

“He avoids this house.” The man shrugged and leaned his back against the back of the armchair he was sitting in. “He never liked coming here. He loved his grandparents, but this house reminded him too much of his mother.” 

“What happened to his mother?” You asked, frowning slightly. “Dad never mentioned her…” 

Tsuyoshi bit the inside of his cheek, to which you raised one eyebrow and his eyes began to wander to the wall where several family photos hung in frames. 

“See, Y/n, boy…” He started after a while. “Yuji's mother was not entirely healthy. She was obsessed with my brother and her son. What she was doing was having a bad impact on their only child. At some point, Kenzou decided to divorce her, just for Yuji's sake." 

Kiyoko offered you a refill of tea, which you graciously accepted. 

“At first she didn't want to agree to it and wanted to get the child on her side. Damn, the boy wasn't even 9 years old at the time and he was completely terrified when he saw what his own mother was capable of.” Tsuyoshi shifted in his seat and his gaze hardened. “My brother forced her to sign divorce papers and after striking a deal with his friend, he sent her to a closed psychiatric facility.” 

"What?" You asked in shock, a thousand thoughts running through your head. "But..." 

“It was the best solution. Afterwards, your father moved out of here with Yuji and they lived in Tokyo. After a few months, he met Sachiko and decided to start a family with her.” 

“Mai was already born then.” You said quietly and Tsuyoshi nodded. 

"Yes, that's true. Yuji was terrified to see his father showering affection on a strange woman and he couldn't understand it. You see, Y/n, Yuji loved his mother very much, even after she could hurt him, and he didn't want his father to get involved with any other woman.” 

There was a crashing sound upstairs and Kiyoko laughed quietly, looking up at the ceiling. She stood up from her seat and patted her husband on the shoulder. 

“I'll check what he did.” 

“Dear God, how did my brother deal with you?” Your uncle muttered as the woman left the room. 

“He was hard on me, and besides, he had my mother.” You answered him calmly and shrugged when the man gave you a pointed look. "That's the truth. He kept me short.” 

“I know, I know... I can't do it. I guess I'm too old.” 

“You have a softer heart.” 

"Maybe." He sighed and the laughter of a child and a woman could be heard from upstairs. “Back to the topic... Yuji, despite hating your mother, loved his new little sister, Mai, very much. Only over the years did we realize that this feeling was not healthy and platonic. He was more obsessed with her than his mother was with your father.” 

“Wait a minute.” You shook your head, setting your cup down. You knew what the man meant, but you were starting to feel disgusted at the thought. “You don't mean to tell me that…” 

“Yuji planned to train her, not to use the word brake. That's why he guarded Mai so closely and didn't let you get close to her. He saw you as his competitor.” 

“Competitor? I was a child, and Mai was my sister!” 

“You see, Yuji had a different train of thought.” 

“God…” You moaned softly and ran a hand over your face. “Now I'm starting to understand everything... But... Why did dad let this happen?” 

“He didn't allow it, that's why Yuji only approached Mai when he wasn't around.” 

“Why didn't he tell him to get out of the house?” 

“Because he preferred to keep him by his side. If Yuji moved out, he could kidnap Mai.” Your uncle explained and you felt your blood start to boil in your veins. 

“They could have her back, damn it... He'd rather that bastard abused my mother and...'' You clenched your hands into fists. “Mai committed suicide.” 

"I know. This devastated Yuji and changed him completely.” There was pain in the man's eyes. “Understand, Y/n. He was my brother's firstborn son. He knew he was doing the wrong thing by keeping him around, but he couldn't completely cut himself off from his past. Kenzou was a strong man, but not as strong as he thought. After marrying your mother, almost every decision he made turned out to be bad.” 

You wanted to scream with anger, but suddenly you realized that you yourself were making bad decisions in the name of the love you gave first to Emiko, and then... 

“Yuji is unpredictable.” You said quietly. “What if he comes here after all?” 

“I believe he won't do it. Nevertheless, Kiyoko and I agreed to move. For Yuuta's safety.” 

You nodded and your uncle's calm voice surprised you. “I hadn't notice your car when you were standing at the gate. Now it's been standing outside the house for about an hour. Your partner in crime brought you?” 

"What?" You asked, looking up at him questioningly. 

“Someone is watching the house.” Tsuyoshi pointed to the window and when you discreetly looked out, you did indeed saw your car and Sanzu sitting inside. 

You checked your phone and sent him a text saying everything was fine and he didn't have to wait for you. You saw him reading the message, but he didn't move. 

"Yes, I'm sorry." You sighed, forcing a smile. “He's a little nervous because you're a detective.” 

"I see. Still... It's kind of funny. You are gangsters and he guards you like his property.” 

“Let's just say he's not just my partner in crime, as you so nicely put it.” 

The man looked surprised and opened his mouth to say something, but understanding appeared in his eyes and he closed his eyes in confusion. 

"I see. I dont have questions." He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “I take it this is the boy you were jabbering about to your mother?” 

"What?" You felt your face start to turn red and Tsuyoshi nodded, reassuring himself at your reaction. 

"Never mind." He drank his tea again. “We will be moving to Utsunomiya within two weeks.” 

"Far." Your heart sank for a moment. 

"Yes. This is Kiyoko’s hometown.” Tsuyoshi admitted reluctantly. “But Yuuta will be safe there. Maybe when they catch my nephew... We'll come back here. That's how my wife convinced me to move.” 

"I see. So we have to get rid of Yuji.” 

"To catch. I know what you mean by get rid of.” You looked at your uncle and sat in silence for a moment, staring at each other. At one point the man sighed and looked down at his thighs. “Despite all the wrongs, he is still family. But I will understand and forgive you if everything ends with his death.” He added, seeing your outraged face. 

“I'm sorry, but I can't understand your feelings towards your brother's murderer.” 

“And I wish you never have to understand it, because first you would have to experience the same thing as your father and me. Your own tragedy and what your son had to go through is enough for you." 

Your phone started vibrating and when you looked at the screen, Sanzu's number appeared. 

“I guess he's impatient, huh?” Your uncle asked, getting up from his seat. “Come on, say goodbye to Yuuta.” 

You answered the call and before you could say anything, you heard the impatient voice of the pink-haired man. 

“I know how much you wanted to see your son, but how much longer?” 

“I'll just say goodbye. You'll survive." You hung up and went up the stairs to the second floor, where a detective was waiting for you at the door to one of the rooms. 

You looked inside and saw your child sitting politely at a low table and trying to write simple kanji characters on a white sheet of paper with a pencil. His expression was one of great concentration, and the movements of his little hand were careful and slow. 

“Ah, Yuuta…” Kiyoko said, seeing you in the doorway. “I guess it's time to say goodbye to dad.” 

The boy looked at you in surprise, sadness appearing in his eyes. "Why?" 

"I have to get back to work." You explained calmly and the boy jumped to his feet, dropping the pencil from his hand. 

"You can not!" He said with admirable determination. 

“Yuuta…” 

“You just came!” 

You looked down, not knowing what to say to him. You played out all sorts of scenarios in your head about your encounter with the boy, but none, literally none, played out remotely like the one life was writing before your eyes. 

The boy ran up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist tightly. The first tears appeared in his large eyes and you felt moisture begin to gather in yours as well. 

“Don't go, Dad!” He said, his lips starting to tremble. 

“Yuuta…” Your uncle spoke, gently placing his hand on the child's small shoulder. 

“I'll see you again.” You said, petting the boy's head affectionately. 

“You promise?” 

“For my life.” You said and hugged him tightly. “I will come back to you, son.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Couldn't you wait a little longer?” You asked irritably as you and Sanzu drove back to your house. 

"Stop it." The other one grumbled, concentrating on driving the car. “You know his neighbor is a cop?” 

“I was safe there.” 

“But I wasn't.” 

“Then you could have left.” 

“And leave you alone? What if I disappeared and the police came to get you?” 

“Sanzu...” 

"Do not start." 

“You don't start.” You looked at him and, not wanting to argue with him, you lightly hit the back of your head against the backrest in resignation. You sighed. "Sorry. I know you're worried about me, but you need to trust me a little more." 

"I trust you. Not them.” 

“They will be moving to Utsunomiya. At least until someone deals with my stepbrother.” 

There was silence in the car for a long moment until Sanzu finally smiled at you. “So, you have to focus on work even more. You will eliminate him, and you will be able to see your son again.” 

“What if I want to see him before we solve the problem?” 

“Put it out of your mind.” 

“Sanzu…” 

“No. End of discussion." His voice was sharp and you looked at the man in surprise. “Listen, honey. Let's do it all properly, shall we? First Yuji, then your son.” 

"All right. But I will be able to call him, and you will not delete any messages from my uncle.” 

“Deal.” The man agreed after a moment and you let out a relieved breath that you didn't realize you were holding. "How do you feel?" 

“I'm sore, but I don't regret it.” You answered him, knowing what he was asking. 

"That's good." He stopped the car at a traffic light and looked at you carefully. 

"What?" You asked feeling yourself blush. 

"You look fine. Your aunt has a talent for makeup.” He murmured, lifting the corners of his mouth and his hand gently grabbed your thigh. “We need to be more careful about your face, love.” 

You laughed and his hand started to move higher, to your crotch. “Sanzu!” You moved higher in your seat, completely surprised by the man's gesture and he laughed, removing his hand. 

"Relax. I'll wait until we get home.” 

“Haruchiyo…” 

<PREVIOUS/NEXT>

[harlothane]

OCEAN SOUL / (Another) Theon fanmix, now in semi chronological order!

>> Listen

Track List

01. wrong - depeche mode

(there's something wrong with me chemically // something wrong with me inherently // the wrong mix // in the wrong genes // i reached the wrong ends // by the wrong means)

02. you don't own me - tamino

(you may keep me in // in between your walls // ban me from traveling // and tell me not to sing // and you may have your thoughts // a sketch of who I am // a notion you've conceived // a sight you want to see // but you don't know me)

03. i am terrified - iamx

(i am terrified, I think too much // i get emotional when I drink too much // i buy every cry, 'cause I don't trust)

04. lookatme - jann

(never seen a boy like him // so cute and polite // better keep him humble // cuz he might wanna learn to bite // i knew already // my life was gon be heavy // but nothing could prepare me for this // i lived for validation // i met your expectations)

05. isolation – peter gundry

06. hated – yungblud

(you gotta hit rock bottom to live through // all the shit nobody believes // you're gonna hurt some people, but first // some people will thrist on watching you bleed)

07. when a dead man walks - lacuna coil

08. cough syrup - young the giant

(living in their cage // living in their cage // they're killing me)

09. insomniac - amber run

(if I could find a way to see this straight // i'd run away, to some fortune that // i should have found // by now)

10. no one is here to sleep - naughty boy, bastille

(are you lost // are you lost // are you lost // are you lost)

(i'll never catch up with you, with you // oh i can feel them coming // here's the pride before the fall / oh your eyes they show it all)

12. frank's death - john murphy

11. the unforgiven III - metallica

(how can i be lost if i got nowhere to go // search for seas of old / how come it's got so cold)

13. nuclear - mike oldfield

(i'm breaking up inside // a heart of broken glass // defiled // deep in side // the abandoned child)

14. who will save you now - les friction

(i will not take from you and you will not owe // i will protect you from the fire below // alone with this vision // alone and blind // go tell the world i'm still alive)

15. fools like us - emilie simon

(you state the rules // you know the players and the players play it cool // but you can't complain // you can't make a fuss // there's only one turn of the cards for fools like us)

17. pulling a thread - kerry muzzey

16. ocean soul - nightwish

(crying for me was never worth a tear // my lonely soul is only filled with fear // long hours of loneliness // between me and the sea // losing emotion // finding devotion // should i dress in white and search the sea // as i always wished to be - one with the waves)

[violetjedisylveon]

I have fanfics downloaded that I can send to anyone suffering Ao3 withdrawals

It's mostly FnaF security breach stuff, but I got a few Lego Monkie Kid ones

Fanfic selections and instructions below the cut!

I won't be like him by Pinkpony4

Life wasn’t fair and it never had been, especially for Michael. Nothing seemed to ever go right and that lesson was still being hammered down fifty years later. Even so, he’d make life fair for the little baby he had in his arms, even if it killed him.

A Michael afton adopts Gregory fanfic, that is also and fanfic.net but I think the author has deleted it by now to rewrite it since that's why I downloaded it

Nothing Else Compares by Dinjoyer

5 times someone comforted Michael + one time Michael comforted someone

Scooped and Glam Mike fic

Your Dad Is Here by prongsau

Being stuck after hours is scary, especially for a 9 year old who keeps getting chased by a murderous bunny. He ends up getting hurt but an angel comes and saves him. Or; Gregory gets injured from Vanny, thankfully Michael is there to protect him alongside the daycare attendants.

Dadmike hurt and comfort type fic

And What would you say, If I could give you a Reason to go on? By PigeonOnAChair

Michaels story was supposed to end with all of the others, burning to the ground and putting an end to the Afton name for good. Turns out, that might not be in the cards for him. Given a glimpse into the future by a strange, red tinged specter, Michael is given a reason to make it out of that fire; He has a son. And the very same forces that tore Michael apart have set their sights on someone new. -- ( A Dadmike AU in which Mike is given a reason to survive the FNAF 6 fire; to find his son and take down his fathers remaining influence before another Afton falls at his hand.) (TLDR: A Mike in security breach AU, but with a whole lot more before hand !)

Another Dadmike fic/au

Never Enough

Freddy leaves Gregory for one second. One second is all Vanny needs.

Hurt/comfort fic

hush little baby, don't you cry by orphan_account

sometimes, old memories don't stay buried for long Aka angst for my fluffy Human AU. Gregory gets kiddynapped and Freddy, Bonnie, and the band have to face an old companion to save him.

Human animatronics and Fronnie

Dust To Dust by soops

“…The results of this hostility are difficult to see because these children quickly learn how to hide under a compliant smile. When these children grow up they suffer depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and substance-abuse problems. For the first time in their lives, many boundary-injured individuals realize they have a problem…” His head snaps up when he hears a knock on the door. Hesitantly, he stops the tape and puts his pen aside…

Michael adopts Gregory, but it's mostly him dealing with the effect of his father's crimes

Unhappiest Day by EmeraldArt

Early in the morning of his 30th birthday, Cassidy Afton learns two things. His father, William Afton, has escaped jail. And his nephew, Gregory, has gone missing.

Part of an everybody lives/nobody does au(except Susie's dog)

Jeremy's Journey to Save Christmas! (and also survive)

When Jeremy ends up trapped inside the pizzeria with his coworker on Christmas morning, he does what he can to continue his and his sister's Christmas tradition . . . but why does this attract an unexpected guest? (this work is part 5 of a storyline of connected one-shots that are not in chronological order. It can be read as a standalone fic as well).

It's got jeremike

Hippo-Critter by EmeraldArt

Right before the amalgam known Ennard leaves Michael Afton, he gets one final chance to talk to his sister. Elizabeth is terrified that her brother will hate her.

hurt/comfort, mostly hurt

(Im)Perfect by EmeraldArt

Elizabeth is perfect, unbroken, quiet, elegant. She’s everything her father could desire. She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t react, doesn’t growl, doesn’t cry. (Until she finds herself screaming until she isn’t sure she has any screams left.)

Elizabeth angst

Michael Afton's Step by Step Guide to Killing Your Abusive Dad and Getting a Boyfriend in the Same Night by gummysharksupremacy

After his six year old brother miraculously survives the bite that almost took his life, Michael waits for his father to come back from his drinking binge to give him the lecture of a lifetime. What he gets instead is a murder confession, threats of physical violence against himself and his siblings, and promises to take more innocent lives. Michael knows what he has to do. He also knows that he can't do it alone.

This one is dark

the opening day by auacademia

There were four, then three, then two, then none. All of the kids left the room, and she felt herself disconnecting. That has happened a few times over the day, a system meant to save her power if there was no one to entertain. And then there were two. A boy, older, and a girl, younger. It made sense. The children usually played in groups of two or three. Still, she felt like this was supposed to play out differently. She powered back on, and continued her performance. Or, when Michael realizes there’s no stopping his sister from seeing her favorite animatronic, he decides to take her there by himself. William almost has a heart attack.

A Change in Fate: A Five Nights at Freddy's alternate universe by TheInsaneFoxWriter

I have parts 1-9

This is the summary for A Change in Fate, the first and a multiple chapter fic

When Gregory is discovered by prying eyes, in an attempt to escape, he hides in Funtime Freddy - the most friendly-looking of the animatronics around him. Gregory never would have expected this hiding place to turn against him. Trapped within this homicidal children's attraction, he must choose his fate, now in the hands of Freddy and his own survival skills. If he can escape, what else awaits him in this new, darkened environment? Basically, this is a combination of Security Breach and Sister Location, with a hint of Count the Ways. It's way more on the Sister Location side of things, but the comparison of a child being in Glamrock Freddy and Funtime Freddy was too good to pass up. It gave me a random idea, and thus, this fic was created.

Sins of the Father; Grief of the Sons by BeneathAScorpionSky

Evan Afton doesn't succumb to what should have been a fatal injury to his skull, instead miraculously improving and going on to grow up, lose touch with his family, and live what could be called a normal life if you turned it on its side and squinted really hard. Evan's content with being distanced from his relatives and their sordid histories, or at least he's managed to convince himself that he's better off without the father and brother who both up and left him without a word. But he's dragged back into the family business when he meets Gregory, a young homeless boy. Evan realizes he is going to have to take drastic measures to keep his young friend safe from the looming threat of the Pizzaplex killer. He'll have to face old fears and attempt to mend festering wounds if he hopes to get Gregory and himself out safely on the other side of this nightmare.

Aka, Crying Child adopts Gregory!

I am his dad, just like the sky is blue and the grass is green by AngstRat

One day Freddy stumbles across a small scared boy, neither of them know that moment will change both of their lives for the better.

The boy and his animatronic dad by AngstRat

Gregory is cold and he knows it's just about to get worse, so he sneaks into the Pizzaplex for warmth and maybe some food. Who could've guessed he'll find a dad on the way.

Sun and Moon adopt Gregory this time

love lost and found again by mikeyskies

When a rotting transgender corpse and a half brain-dead man love each other very much... Basically Jeremy and Michael assumed they wouldn't have to worry about protection after Michael got scooped. They were wrong.

Lego Monkie Kid fics

Warm Hearts, Cold Hands by Drifting_Andromeda

But no, it wasn’t scary in a way that had Spindrax worrying about an injury or a yelling session. She was more nervous of the act of letting Mei down, scared to see disappointment dance in the dragon’s eyes, scared to see that look aimed towards her. She didn’t want to disappoint her, was this how all friendships were? Mei was giving her a headache. ~ After everything Mei has done, from pushing to be her friend, to taking a genuine interest in her work and hobbies, Spindrax isn’t sure what to make of her. At first anyway, now things are starting to get a little complicated.

Spindrax x Mei

Would You Like An Egg In These Trying Times? by TeaTime_At_4

in which stone monkeys can reproduce asexually and create stone eggs when certain conditions are met, and these conditions are unknowingly met while Wukong is imprisoned under five phases mountain. Now without those conditions Wukong remains pregnant with a stone egg throughout his journey west as the egg continues to develop at a leisurely pace. so leisurely in fact that he is still pregnant at the time of the canon events of the show, how does this change things? come find out.

Performing Monkey by othersin

Performing Monkey Au. The Jade Emperor and his court is fascinated with the new life and magic that began to fill the mortal world – even creating a menagerie of the fascinating life so he can enjoy in the comfort of his heavenly plain. The rarest and most prized in his collection was the monkey demon born from stone – granted the name of Sun Wukong. While Guanyin believes that the demon would be happier in the mortal plain, the emperor is reluctant to give up his rare pet however. To calm the goddesses concerns on the others happiness, he instructs his patrols to search for a suitable companion for the monkey demon – his patrols rescue a struggling dark-furred macaque demon. Problem solved! Though Wukong and the newly kidnapped wild demon would disagree…

The Sun's Spouse by Leviathan_Wizard

“What…is this?” “The solution.” “And how is another one of his kind going to help us?!” “Because this will prove beneficial for Sun Wukong.” “Oh?” “The Six-Eared Macaque can…entice Sun Wukong to a more palatable degree.” Or To appease the rampaging Sun Wukong, the heavenly court decides to give the great sage a present…in the form of a husband. Macaque is not amused

And that's it!

See something you like? DM me the name of the fic you want and I will tell you further instructions there.

Spammers will be blocked

If you send a request past 1 am, it won't be filled until probably after 5 tomorrow, I have college and need sleep

Please give kudos to the fics once Ao3 is back up!

I also have fics of my own, some Star wars, Lego Monkie Kid, FnaF, The Owl House, and Pokémon, I don't have them downloaded so they'd have to be sent chapter by chapter, they're all in google docs it's mostly gay stuff, hurt/comfort and queer people having children chucked at them

[miodiodavinci]

omg i get so excited hearing about dnd!!!! how many campaigns have you been in if u mind answering?

i don't mind at all ! ! ! ! i enjoy talking about dnd ! ! ! ! our group got together in 2020 has run a total of (counts on fingers) 6 campaigns and 5 one shots, with our average campaign length being around 20 to 30 sessions. each person's taken a shot at DM'ing thus far, but the forever DM and i have both run about four of those each w

also, outside of one or two one shots, it's all been exclusively homebrew ! ! ! which is fun because we've all gotten to create our own regions and design overarching lore that connects each campaign to the other ! ! ! (surprisingly, hannus barbarous is usually the connecting factor. we did not plan this but that's just how it is now KJSFLKJH)

and because i love talking about dnd so much i'm taking this opportunity to dump a whole lot of summary of each campaign/one shot in chronological order under the cut w

ON A SCALE of ONE to TWENTY .. campaign

After being shut off from the world for over a hundred years, the region of Celosia finally opens its doors, sending out an open letter to all would-be adventurers asking for help. Our party just so happened to be the fools who decided to answer (and who got lucky enough to not get eaten by wolves on the way there), and have been tasked with taking down the shadowy Emerald Division that has seemingly come to power. They'll get to it as soon as they visit the dump (it's on the way).

Our DM's first homebrew campaign and the result of all of us being stuck inside and realizing we finally had time to play together w. This was the origin of both Hannus Barbarous as a running gag (along the lines of "this is JUST like Thomas and Jeremiah") and the name Scott as a throwaway bit, and also the origin of "The Coolest Emerald Division" title w

Characters

Roachcock the Tiefling Barbarian (played by me) .. bastard at heart, just wants to split heads, get coin, and buy a boat

Babey Möd the Halfling-Tabaxi Cleric (played by @anonprotagging) .. here to eat gravy and spread the good word of Lyra

The Storm the Water Genasi Barbarian .. he's super famous dude just trust me i heard he once fought like thirty turkeys

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan .. looking for her lost moms and also stealing this guy's boots hahaaa sick

Opus Whitfield the Human Wild Magic Sorcerer .. trying to use this opportunity to set up a new storefront for his family's gem cutting business, is actually using this opportunity to get bullied

note: i don't know if the other players use tumblr so for now they'll just be identified as "Xs player" from here on out w

GRANNY'S COUNTRY APPLE PIE .. one shot

An aging wizard wishes to taste the sweet delight of Granny's Country Apple Pie™ one last time (despite the bakery closing decades ago) and thus tasks our heroes with scoping out the place and seeing if they can find a recipe. Somewhere along the way, things got weird and it turns out Granny was just an immortal 65 year old who was taking a vacation in the outer planes with her wife but she's back now :)

Pre-built one shot that very quickly went off the rails, as to be expected for my very first go at being a DM after being a player for less than 4 months. The first appearance of Hannus as an actual character and not just a running bit.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. he's taking a break from his prestigious play writing career to see the sights and reconnect with the little piece of him that was shattered when his troupe broke apart (but not too much of a break not to sign every autograph he can eyyy)

Sir the Eternal Flame (and sorcerer i guess) (played by Opus's player) .. still frustrated at being locked in human form, this giant immortal moth is off doing busy work until his curse wears off (which apparently includes bakery heists???)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. with their giant bumblebee Spoobin and frankly obscene lack of dietary standards at their side, there's no meal that they can't tackle

THE OSSIFIED GARDENS .. mini campaign

Taking shelter from the rain in an unearthly structure, the gang is snatched away from the physical realm and into a crab bucket-like hotel for the fae. With their most prized possessions taken from them as an entry fee, the gang has to endure arduous tasks to receive the stamps of each of the five Managers in order to receive audience with the minor god who runs the establishment. Whether or not she'll be willing to give their possessions back, however...

My first solo campaign as a DM!! Heavily inspired by Spirited Away and mostly an excuse to put old game dev content to use (including a literal circus of NPCs), but ended up serving as an important event in the Hannus Barbarous lore.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. on the road with Tehn to visit a trinket faire in the next town over, about to experience beginning of a long and scalding beef with a petty minor god

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. Hannus and Tehn are best friends now—they're having soft tacos later! :)

Piers the Minotaur Cleric (played by Opus's player) .. he's just along for the ride—maybe there will be cool books! :oooo

Tess the Halfling Rogue (played by In'hala's player) .. laying low until the folks in charge of her latest warrant lose track of her (and by laying low i mean just stealing at waist height instead of top shelves)

ROLL to PHOTOBOMB .. campaign

A seemingly normal winter festival goes astray when our heroes poor fools accidentally soul-bond to an extraplanar device meant to be a birthday present for the renowned sculptor hosting the ball (spoilers: it's a camera). They have four months to take it north to Cobalt City, get the re-calibration redone, and get it back in time for her wife to give it to her for their anniversary. The only problem is, the mountain pass is closed and the only other way there is a several hundred mile road trip by wagon...

Time to take some photos in front of some kitschy roadside attractions, I guess.

Opus's player's first time DM'ing for our group (though they'd DM'd before, and frankly—their experience shows). This campaign was home to some of our most beloved NPCs like Cassidy the subterranean super organism, Barry the extraplanar knife slime, and Sir the Eternal Flame Moth (he got that curse figured out finally!)

Characters

Fafnir of the Boreal North, the human knight Mimic Berserker (played by me) .. they just wanted to leave their dungeon to find a better, damper place to sit and eat and somehow accidentally took part in the funniest case of mistaken identity this side of Alcione

Ranger Rain Rainer the human Ranger (and literal park ranger, played by @anonprotagging) .. originally here to supervise the environmental impacts of the ball on the local landscape, now soul-bound to an extraplanar camera and havin' a good ol' time hangin' with the boys :) y'want some soy sauce with that? i bought a gallon back in brass junction

Kit the Elven Ranger (played by Tehn's player) .. legitimately so traumatized he wraps back around to being the most normal person in this group—just don't mention Celestine Grove

Babu the Hobgoblin Artificer (played by the Storm's player) .. having been separated from his parents and raised by Kobolds, Babu, his steel defender Babu, and his clockwork creation Little Babu are on a long journey to reunite with them in Grand Arbor .. please do not look at him he's sensitive

THE GREAT COCKATRICE RACE .. one shot

It's that time of year—the Great Cockatrice Race is upon us!! But just as our party is soaking in the sights and staking out the perfect spot to watch, they witness a young tiefling have his cockatrice's racing gear shredded by a local gang. Desperate to win so he can help pay to treat his father's worsening eyesight (they're cartographers by trade), he asks the party for help, and they quickly oblige.

Another one shot run by me, based loosely on a one-page campaign document. Not much to say about this one beyond the fact that everyone was ready to kill for Noodles the bantam cockatrice.

Characters

Actias Saturnid the Aasimar Paladin (played by @anonprotagging) .. on a quest to popularize his deity's chosen form of entertainment—tinker vision (TV for short)

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. here to have fun and maybe also look for his friend that went missing have you seen her please tell me i miss her ;_____;

Kai the ??? Swashbuckling Rogue (played by Opus's player) .. it's a big festival, and that means plenty of eyes and plenty of cash! not a half bad time to try negotiating some new patrons for her artist friends

TROUBLE at PORT MANDRET .. one shot

What was originally supposed to be the 58th annual showcase of Umbergate University's horticultural collection is turned sour as an incensed former professor unleashes a powerful awakening spell on the entire town. With only a few hours before the plants release spores that will spread the spell to the entire world, our party has to act fast and cooperate with a local mycologist who seems to know just the fix to this predicament.

Another one shot from me, this time entirely homebrewed! This is also the origin of Scott as a character and not just a throwaway bit, and very much the source of his dynamic with Hannie. They found him tangled up in a bunch of kudzu in a coffee shop and he sent them on a long fetch quest to help him make a cup of coffee using stolen coffee beans.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and bard (you know his player by now w) .. you know, he was just trying to lay low after the whole "committing arson" thing, but now he has a gay little mushroom twink to look after and that's (????)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by you know who w).. also laying low after helping Hannus commit arson, but mostly here to eat a bunch of plants when no one's looking

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's a goose who only says "HANK" and i love that so much about him

Quinn the literal, unawakened, plain old animal tiger and Rogue (played by the Storm's player) .. the reason Hannus and Tehn committed arson after discovering she was being kept in squalid conditions by a wealthy family .. i cannot stress enough that she is a literal, un-enchanted tiger

THE ENIGMA of DAHL CREEK .. campaign

Their boat having sank in a storm, the party washes up on a seemingly once populous island now drowning under webs of unidentifiable blue-green vines and the eerily human-like shapes it creates. Working to unravel the mystery of how the entire town disappeared one August day, they find the past and present blurring together in a strange and haunting way.

The Celosia campaign DM's next big campaign, and frankly the one that haunts me most to this day. I cannot put into words how fucking good this campaign was. Legitimately gave me chills and occupies a region of my brain that cannot be vacated.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous (you know him) .. just trying to recover from the fae thing and the tiger incident and then the Port Mandret fiasco and really doesn't need this right now (but deal he will)

Biscott Cortinarius the human mycologist and Necromancer (played by me) .. putting a little distance between himself and the university due to the ""legal ramifications of interviewing university property without familial consent,"" but mostly sticking with Hannus because he's a bard and... well... bards aren't exactly beefy are they ;)

The Destitution of Mires the Lizardfolk Circle of Spores Druid (played by the Storm's Player) .. to this day i still don't know what their deal was, only that they sensed and so they came, and they left just as easily

Theo the ??? Circle of Dreams Druid (played by Opus's player) .. wanted to get out there and see the world, managed to sneak onto the one and Only boat that shipwrecked that day, now paying for it dearly

TIDECLEFT ISLES .. campaign

When the great Captain Wicke died, he arranged in his will that his treasure was to be given to the pirates of Tidecleft—so long as they could find it. Having arranged a massive, death-defying posthumous treasure hunt, several teams (including our heroes) must now compete to locate Wicke's treasure if they want to claim it all for themselves. What the late captain has in store for them, however, may call the worth of the treasure into question.

The Storm's player's first time DM'ing for our group, but not his first time DM'ing by far (read: he was Tehn's player's forever DM long before he came to our group). This was a grand old romp around a bunch of islands and sea caves that culminated in a frankly off-the-walls batshit final battle.

Characters

Acanthus of the Western Isles, the Mano (shark man) Scholar (played by me) .. a doctor and academic seeking to pay off a massive debt he incurred thanks to the Silver Lampreys and their web of loan sharks .. he doesn't care for jokes... or laughing, or puns, or metaphorical language or

Lemon the Warforged Circle of Stars Druid (played by @anonprotagging) .. realized she's accrued like twenty years in paid time off from working as a docent in an observatory, now taking her first vacation with her best friend Owen Gnome :) (he's a garden gnome she found outside and decided to keep in her pocket) (may or may not be venomous)

Bellamy the ??? ??? (played by Opus's player) .. ever grateful to the squid trawlers that took him in, he's competing in this hunt to earn enough to turn their venture into a franchise .. he is shockingly normal despite the whole "may not be from this plane" thing

Rayin the Tiefling Storm Sorcerer (played by Tehn's player) .. having received that sweet sweet "got hit by a magical explosion on campus" money and gotten magical powers out of it, Rayin is ditching academia to do COOL things like throw lightning bolts and meow at people

these character descriptors are getting long sorry

MIETTE SIMULATOR .. one shot

Somehow, our band of unfortunate souls has wandered into a town caught in a frenzy, raving for the execution of a seemingly normal tiefling man for an unspeakable crime (literally, no one will say what it was). The gang decides to get to the bottom of this, only to discover the very laws of reality are essentially optional in this neck of the woods.

Hannus's player's first time DM'ing as a dry run for his future one shot, and it was a hoot. Also the first time we got to meet Ranger Rainer's brother, Shine Rainer (who is the polar opposite of his brother thanks to all the trauma that comes with being a record keeper).

Characters

Lark the Aasimar Gunslinger (played by me) .. just trying to do as many good deeds as possible to get her dad off her back so she can get a girlfriend without him scaring her off with his whole "incomprehensible being of holy light" thing

Clare the human ??? (played by Tehn's player) .. i don't remember why she was there she just was and she was probably the most okay with everything that was going on

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's playing it cool after the Port Mandret thing, except this is not cool this is chaos

MOON TOWN .. one shot

It's Actias! And he needs help! For some reason, they've been disconnected from their god, and they can't figure out why! When our heroes decide to help, they end up getting snatched away to an otherworldly version of the long abandoned Sun Town and need to solve the mystery of a long cold case in order to find their way back home.

Hannus's player's main group DM'ing debut. Full of fun puzzles and good laughs (I'll never forget Actias asking us for help with a puzzle and showing us one of those shapes and holes boxes you give to kids) with plenty of throwbacks to old running gags. Felt like a nice homage to what DnD had been for us thus far.

Characters

Calamund Galbraith the Reborn Echo Fighter (played by me) .. a completely average guy who just so happened to get roped into getting "engaged" to a wraith that now endlessly pursues him .. he just really wants to go home and eat soup with his birds

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. really worried for his good friend Actias :(

Tiel Alleywollow the Halfling Warlock (played by the Storm's player) .. a girl of few words (literally, she only speaks when casting spells) and eternally fond of her fiendish patron, an asshole imp named Dition

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan (played by the same guy as before w) .. hit her head on a ship and somehow ended up far, far south of Celosia. who knows what happened? certainly not in'hala, but EYYY SHE STILL HAS THE SICK BOOTS YEAAA

Teller Artax the Warforged Gunslinger (played by Opus's player) .. originally out to hunt down his lost creator, but got sidetracked, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack's sidetrack, and then

THE CURIOUS CASE of ACTON RIDGE .. campaign

50 years before the events of Dahl Creek, a similar event is taking place—after a shoot out in the canyon, the town of Acton Ridge is also carpeted in strange, blue-green vines and locked in time. Our heroes must unravel the mystery of their pasts and the two intertwined fates of a pair of brilliant inventors who were seemingly on the hunt for something not of this world. Ongoing!

The Celosia DM's latest campaign and prequel to Dahl Creek. A little different vibes from the last one considering most of us apparently lived here before things went to shit, and many of us have tie-ins with the events taking place. Cool, eerie mystery fun ! ! !

Characters

Outis the Warforged Paladin (played by me) .. an archaic tour guide emissary from the Feywilds who's trapped on an endless journey towards an unseen destination .. it's sassy as hell and just the right amount of british to be infuriating

Emeril the Sea Elf chef and Fighter (played by @anonprotagging) .. retired from being a soldier and running from his past to owning a small tavern (and running from his past) .. very blunt (like his cast iron frying pan)

Spinifer the ??? Bard and travel-book writer (played by Opus's player) .. looking for the scoop on the local scene in hopes of bringing more folks over from her homeland .. common isn't her first language and she delights in learning cool new words, like "paranormal" and "clusterfuck"

Phira the Deep Gnome Monster Hunter (played by the Storm's player) .. haunted by her past and now interested in that which is haunted, this little conspiracy theorist is going to get to the bottom of this mystery if it's the last thing she does (but not actually—she'd like to live you know)

[useless-thought-pit]

A little collection of recent poems

They were all written about a month ago, and to give you just a teeny bit of context I was unfortunately under the spell of some scourge we like to call love (the best of all, of course, being unrequited love). No seriously though, I am now free from this transient infatuation (you'll get to see that word in a bit cos I am a shit poet with a bad memory for synonyms). I've ordered them chronologically, and have also included unfinished fragments.

Also this was pretty much one of my first times actually composing poetry in English, like with meters and rhymes and stuff. You may also find poems written in french on this blog if I please to post them, but that's if you speak it so ahah

Enough babbling now, enjoy.

***

I know not how to get to thee safe and alive Future appears farther and farther with the days There's within me an evergreen spreading its arms Or is it I who bury my roots in the soil Nothing seems surer than when thou flow through my veins When I try to sleep it away I swiftly shift Towards elsewhere a humongous desert of heart The sun glistens as thy dark eyes still yet unknown O wand'ring soul O newest woe but who art thou Does thine essence lie in my mind so delusive Am I the jittery dreamer are thou the dream Are thou but a deadly pommel on which to press With painted hands of thine ego bearer of light Burnt witch that crawls under the wick of candlesticks Nonsense to me and in the end shan't we forget How I made thee aim for my bosom with mine eyes

***

Strange infatuation hath grabbed me hard There seems to be nothing at all to try Attempts to write it off but ain't no bard If anything it stoked instead of dry How come a single thought seed of evil Can grow into such monstrous tentacles Been looking ev'rywhere for some old spell To rid of the disease that harsh and dwells

***

Things do get out of hand And leave myself to hang Exorcism is nigh I pray that I won't die Mayhap all that junk is But a petty pretext To know how to feel next All of that sorrow biz Isn't it so frightening To know not how to live Though easier that to heave Thoughts so unbecoming Tomorrow says the fool But there's no way I could Throw thyself at me cruel Fate do hurt me real good

***

Two glimmering dark pools I can see myself in Am I just acting fool In the abyss peering Lash out thy wrath Kyrie God have mercy on me Am I looking drowning Narcissus in denial Katie I write thy name Thinking it bravery When all it is really Is I can't my heart tame Shall it pass shall it stay Forever evermore I love thee I implore That thou take me away

***

If instead of stumbling upon thy beauty I could have fallen into some old chasm Forever floating into infinity Mine heart wouldn't be prey to all those spasms But alas now each time I go to bed I'm forced by my own mind to dream of thee I shift into reveries so ghastly Wherein I'm charmed ev'n by thy lofty tread I hope I shall in the end kiss thy hands But I'm oh so afraid that thou reject My confession leaving my hopes to mend Why must love be our greatest soul's defect Katie I'm cold I don't mean to be bold But it seems to me that my end cometh With scythe and hourglass so now do behold What I'll gently whisper in my last breath

Fragments

I can well suffer into some long hours If only for a transient sight of her If it means I get one fast sight of her My heartbeat rises far up to the skies When I turn round and see her cherished eyes

---

Feeling beat down life's got me bad or so it seems I cannot think of anything but thee, caught in the stream Feeling beat down life got me real bad The thought of her's deadly as a last strike

---

Tonight at least I get to say What a pleasant ev'ning it's been Although moments of relief sway To fall beyond tomorrow's veil

[kingandfireheart]

Cassian's Love: words from a guy who speaks through actions

Something I love about Cassian is that he doesn't really hide the ball when it comes to his feelings for Nesta. He's most definitely an actions speak louder than words person (physical touch is his love language), but he does use words in ACOSF. I read someone say that Cassian didn't show his love for Nesta, and I completely disagree. Even though SJM never showed us Cassian saying the actual words, we see it so often through the small touches like flicking her cheek, the way that he never makes fun of her (many) questions, or the way he's always there, but he never pushes her too far.

In ACOWAR he confesses his love

" I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta. I will find you again in the next world -- the next life. And we will have that time. I promise. "

Yes, there is a lot he doesn't say - that they are mates, that he wants more than just sex, that he loves her. He even goes far enough to attack Lanthys to prevent him from revealing the truth. (I can write a whole post on why he wouldn't tell her about being mates, but I think Nesta's reaction to Lucien's declaration at the end of ACOMAF can suffice as explanation).

After his heartbreaking confession in ACOWAR, it makes sense that he's more reserved with Nesta. When thinking about his almost confession on solstice, he even says, "He hardly managed to walk away with some semblance of pride. Over his cold, dead body would she do that to him again." He is protecting himself by ignoring the mating bond too ("Some small quiet part of his brain whispered otherwise. He ignored it. Had ignored it for a long time now.")

Still throughout the book, he owns up to his feelings for Nesta when given the opportunity -- he just doesn't say the words "I love you" or "You're my mate". This post goes through some scenes in chronological order, since they show how Cassian does care.

(I could write another whole post on how I feel cheated of two months of happy Nessian between Solstice and Starfall, but that's what fanfiction is for, right?).

When Mor asks if it pains him to see Nesta like this, he says:

"All of it pains me... It pains me that Nesta has become... this. It pains me that she and Feyre are always at each other's throats. It pains me that Feyre hurts over it, and I know Nesta does, too. It pains me that ..."

When he's pleading her to train, she asks him why he isn't negotiating harder, he says.

"For you, I have no strategies."

Then there's the confrontation before, "I'm always thinking of that look on your face". (Yes, he's goading her here, but I don't think he's lying)

"Why so many questions tonight?" // "Because we're talking like normal people, and I want to know. About all of it." // "Let's nor retread old territory, Nes." // "It never mattered to me whether you took half the Cauldron's power or a drop. It still doesn't matter. // "Why?" "Why do you even bother?" // "Why did you stay at my side when we went up against the King of Hybern during the last battle?"

Answer: because they're mates.

After Nesta fights with Elain, he tells her he'll be there for her.

"Whatever you need to throw at me, I can take it. I won't break." No challenge laced the words. Only a plea. // "You don't understand," she said, voice rasping. "I am not like you and the others." // "That's never bothered me one bit." (emphasis added)

When Rhys gives Nesta a mental warning about Gwyn:

"I'm pissed off that you can't seem to believe one good thing about her. That you refuse to fucking believe one good thing about her."

When they are discussing the Dread Trove and pushing Nesta to scry: Yes Cassian for arguing against only protecting Elain

" There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that should not be exposed to." // "But Nesta should?" Cassian growled.

"It's not right to wield Elain as a threat to manipulate Nesta into scrying." "There are harsher ways to convince Nesta, boy" "You're a fool if you think threats will make her obey you." ... "If we manipulate Nesta into scrying, even by using Elain against her, then we'll do what is necessary." "I don't like it."

After Nesta's nightmare:

"Hey." "Hello" "Are you all right?" "Yes." "Good" "You want to talk about it?" "No" "That's fine." "You want breakfast?" "I like your priorities, General." (italics added)

When Rhys and Feyre mention bringing in Helion:

"He'll help...If only for another shot at her." // Nesta rolled her eyes, and and the gesture was so normal that Cassian's smile became more genuine, edged with relief // You wear your heart for all to see, brother. Rhys said without turning Cassian's way. // Cassian only shrugged. He was past caring.

When they finally have sex , we have this short back-and-forth:

"I'll hurt you." // "I don't care" // "I do."

and my personal favorite

"I'm beyond lies right now, Nesta."

When Nesta asks whether Cassian enjoyed their previous encounter, he tells her:

I enjoyed myself too much. I've thought about it for days and days.

"Whatever you want. Whatever you need from me." He knew those were a fool's words, knew he offered up too much.

And when Nesta asks "How can I need you again so soon?" Answer: because they're mates.

"I've needed you from the moment I first met you. And now that I get to have you, I don't what to stop

When they find out about the new Dread Trove, he's quick to defend Nesta to others:

This scene isn't really dialogue, but I'm including it because I love Cass.

They moved on to far merrier subjects, but Cassian mulled it over throughout the evening. The fighting was only part of it. The Training would sustain her, funnel her rage, but there had to be more. There had to be joy. There had to be music. (emphasis added)

When Nesta breaks down at the end of the hike, we see that Cassian doesn't just love Nesta, but he likes her, he may even admire her.

"I don't know how to get there. I don't think I'm capable of it" // "You are. I've seen it -- I've seen what you can do when you are willing to fight for the people you love. Why not apply that same bravery and loyalty to yourself?"

"You don't need to become some impossible ideal. You don't need to become sweet and simpering. You can give everyone that I Will Slay My Enemies look - which is my favorite look, by the way. You can keep that sharpness I like so much, that boldness and fearlessness. I don't want you to ever lose those things, to cage yourself."

"I'll be with you every step of the way... Just don't lock me out. You want to walk in silence for a week, I'm fine with that. So long as you talk to me at the end of it." (emphasis added)

When Cassian and Nesta go to the prison, there are some more telling moments:

"What if my presence would go unnoticed, but yours sets off a trap? We can't risk that." // His throat bobbed. "I can't risk you." // The words slammed into her heart. (emphasis added)

and later,

"I have always been your friend Nesta. Always"

When Nesta and Cassian return from the Prison:

Nesta brushed her fingers against Cassian's in silent understanding. His own curled against hers, meeting her stare as if to say, See? We're the same after all.

But when Rhys suggests having Nesta dance with Eris, Cassian is territorial to the max

"You're not going to use her."

"Over my dead fucking body," Cassian exploded.

"Nesta hasn't agreed to anything," Cassian snapped. "Even one dance with that prick is too much --"

"I don't like it."

He also agrees to go with her to the cottage in the human lands, and is so damn supportive and kind to her there. Action not words here but I love this himbo so much

Cassian stood beside her through all of it. Not speaking, not touching. Just there, should she need him. Her friend -- whom she'd asked to come her with her not because he was sharing her bed, but because she wanted him here. His steadiness and kindness and understanding.

And of course, the amazing and wonderful solstice scene:

"I'm sorry for how I behaved last Solstice. For how awful I was."// "I know. I forgave you a long time ago."

"Because I was fucking jealous!" He roared, wings splaying. "You looked like a queen, and it was painfully obvious you should be with a princeling like Eris and not a low born nothing like me! Because I couldn't stand the sight of it, right down to my gods-damned bones."(emphasis added)

"You're not going to marry Eris." "No" "There will be no one else. For either of us." "Yes" "Ever."

The big ole fight

"Say what I've guess from the moment we met. What I knew the first time I kissed you. What became unbreakable between us on Solstice night"

"I am your mate, for fuck's sake!" "You are my mate! Why are you still fighting it?

"You promised me forever on Solstice," he said, voice breaking. "Why is one word somehow throwing you off that?" (emphasis added)

And the conclusion that just wasn't satisfying enough:

"What do you want? // "You" // "You've had me from the moment you met me."

[avasghost]

When We Drown Update #2

[image description: a pale blue photo of a rocky cliff, and a boy at the edge in the distance, standing on a pile of rocks and looking down. in white serif font in the centre, reads “when we drown: update two” / end id]

wip intro here. first writing update here. 

DISCLAIMER: this is my original work, please do not plagiarize in any way.

hi everyone! it’s been a while since i did a writing update (time is fast) and i’ve written quite a lot! up until about a week ago i was in a really, really bad writing slump (which lasted like,,, four months) and so that’s why there hasn’t been a crane anatomy update for a ages because (: i haven’t been writing it (:

i don’t know if i mentioned this in the first update, but this book is now non-linear which has been an ~adventure! the non-linear plotline is kind of freeing because i can just pick a scene i want to write from any time in april’s life and just ... write it? i don’t have to follow the years chronologically. i try to create some kind of causal thread between the scenes but i don’t know how well that’s working out lmao. since WWD follows an entire life story with the protagonist looking back on it and remembering her life, i try to make her memory of one event trigger the memory of the next event, and usually they’re linked by either emotion or information.

current word count: 13,228

so when we drown is officially longer than crane anatomy now, despite being the side project! fun.

anyway lets get into the chapters because i have nothing else to say. tw for death, and other trigger warnings are before the individual chapters!

excerpts under the cut.

chapter 5: faces

[image description: a birds eye view of a forest of snowy pine trees. above the trees in black serif font reads “chapter 5: faces” / end id]

this is a very short chapter (a page and a half) which is a flash forward to when april and elena live together in a cabin in the woods sometime in their late forties. elena is asleep in an armchair and april stokes the fireplace, and then goes outside and sees elias’s ghost and then it dissapears (tbh,,, i think a lot of the chapters will be like this oops) this is the second ghost sighting in the book, but at the point when april is 48 it’s almost a regular occurrence! i might end up moving it to later in the book eventually, since i might want the ghost sightings to be in linear order if nothing else is, to keep the main thread of the book in order.

I closed the door of the woodstove, and glanced over my shoulder to see if Elena had been woken by the clanging of metal. She stirred slightly, a familiar face in her nightmare, an unfamiliar face in a familiar dream. Two fingers clenched against the armrest, then became limp again. Half of me wanted her to wake up, to see me, to speak to me, to see the fire bouncing in the grate and be happy for warmth. But again, she needed rest. She needed to be alone for a while, even if that was just in her head. She’d seen her fair share of fire.

also its snowing in november and its british columbia and i know this is unrealistic but! aesthetics are more important than logic we all know that.

[image description: blurry pine trees and a light snow falling in front of them, with a ridge of snow along the bottom. white serif text in the centre reads “The snow-tipped pines that cupped the cabin sagged under the weight of unexpected snowfall. Their fallen needles jotted the snow. The sky was white, spotless, like an expanse of faraway ocean or the inside of a crystal ball.” / end id]

The snow-tipped pines that cupped the cabin sagged under the weight of unexpected snowfall. Their fallen needles jotted the snow. The sky was white, spotless, like an expanse of faraway ocean or the inside of a crystal ball. No birds flitted between the branches, no foxes slunk between the pines. All was still. All was white. I was alone.

and the ghost is seen then disappears as usual and april goes inside again.

You were gone by the time I reached the door again, by the time I stepped inside and Elena stirred in her armchair, by the time I had stepped out of my shoes and gone to stoke the fire again, which was already starting to dwindle.

i like having elias referred to as “you” because its like april is telling the story to him, but he’s not there, so she’s talking to herself, which is very in character for her to do.

chapter 6: the party

[image description: a slope of pine trees with a grassy field at the bottom. mist shrouds the trees in the distance. a dirt path leads through the grass towards a cabin. in the top right corner, reads “chapter 6: the party” / end id]

chapter 6 follows the day before elena’s fifteenth birthday, and then her party the next day. this is a traumatic time for april because she decides she should mention her first elias sighting at the party. obviously people think she’s crazy and so you can guess how that turns out (aka april goes home and cries because she’s a soft bean)

elena has a cool tree in her backyard apparently!! this seems to be a running theme.

Dribbles of leftover sunlight sifted through the branches of the elm tree that ribbed the sky, its roots furrowing the lawn like varicose veins.

i will admit i didn’t finish this chapter and haven’t written most of the party scene yet so i will probably update on the rest of it in my next update (if i’ve written it by then which i probably won’t have but! we’ll see.)

chapter 7: sacred ground

[image description: the ocean stretching into the distance, with small waves. a blurry girl with long brown hair stands in front of it, facing the water. in the middle in white serif font reads “chapter 7: sacred ground” / end id]

the aftermath of the first elias sighting, when april goes and tries to talk to elena about it. i actually don’t know if this or the party comes first and the non-linearness might be catching up to me oops but we’ll just pretend everything makes sense okay <3 

first she tries to decide who to talk to about it and her options are quite limited. she picks elena because she’ll probably take her seriously, and then goes to her house in a state of shock.

I considered my options. Elena: the calm one, either pretending to be wise or really wise. Magnolia: probably less stupid than she made herself out to be. My mother: still crying over a tragedy of five years ago and a tragedy of fifteen years ago and the tragedy of a lifetime wasted in crowded cult meetings and stark bedrooms, tears always falling, thoughts either always whirlwinding or too dead to pay attention to. I found myself winding up the jittery pathway to Elena’s house, or maybe it was me that was jittery. Maybe it was me, who made the world blurry like this. Maybe it was me who was seeing things, not those things drifting into my line of vision and then falling out of sight. The pearly birches jagged the edges of the valley, their leaves chartreuse in the wind-rustled sunlight.

and then elena rejects her plight and april returns to where she saw elias. turns out elena isn’t as accepting of april’s hallucinations as she was supposed to be! here’s a bit of dialogue i generated from that incorrect quote generator that seems fitting for this moment!

April: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Elena: April, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

this IS april and this IS elena how does this generator know what my book is about!! anyway back to excerpts:

I ran back to where I had seen you, all slow wonderment vanished, and found the place where my old footsteps in the sand looped around. I knew you wouldn’t be there, I wasn’t surprised that you didn’t appear again, your face bobbing in a rice paper mist. I wasn’t surprised that Elena didn’t chase me out, eyes drained of tears, to apologize. And I wasn’t surprised that from that point forward, I thought of that place as sacred.

chapter 8: always falling

[image description: a blurred black-and-white close-up image of water falling. white serif font in the center reads “always falling: chapter 8″ / end id]

tw: death, drowning, blood, fantasizing about drowning

eight-year-old april and magnolia visit a waterfall with magnolia’s parents. feat. april’s dog, august!

The waterfall coiled down the cliff face, cracking the surface of the river like a thousand strands of thunder. I could hardly hear Magnolia’s parents shouting something up ahead, their voices lost in the blare of water.

shortly after:

When I heard suspension bridge, I pictured one from old fairytales I read: wooden, burlap ropes for railings. A thirty percent chance of falling in. I was reassured by the stability, but August shivered at the way it jilted underfoot. He had never walked on ground that shifted under his feet, maybe it was an earthquake, maybe the ground was breaking in.

and here’s sweet eight-year-old April fantasizing about what it would be like to drown. If you think that’s foreshadowing no it isn’t 👁👁

[image description: a slightly grainy photo, half water and half sky, both tinted turquoise. a hand lifts out of the water toward the sky. above the hand in white serif font, reads “What it would feel like to drown, water snagging in my lungs, sharp stones shattering my ribcage until the entire river turned to blood. Being sucked by the current until someone finally found my body, far from where I lost it.” / end id]

I stared over the edge, tried to pierce the thick buzz of mist that separated me from what would be the teeth of my fall. I imagined the bridge giving way, like it always did in the stories I read. One end breaking, the ropes snapping, the entire bridge swinging into the bottomless river. What it would feel like to drown, water snagging in my lungs, sharp stones shattering my ribcage until the entire river turned to blood. Being sucked by the current until someone finally found my body, far from where I lost it. Maybe it would be an old fisherman, hauling a girl in with the day’s catch, or his frail wife, who would faint on the spot at the sight of a dead child, bloodied and mangled and already tearing apart.

they cross the suspension bridge, and august unfortunately falls in! this is just a bit of april’s childhood trauma and i wish i didn’t have to cause her this pain but i do i’m sorry 😭

chapter 9: dead letters

[image description: a close up sheet of paper with a few lines of cursive writing across it. a fountain pen lies across the page. in the bottom right hand corner, a black serif font reads “chapter 9: dead letters” / end id]

a very young april and elias get caught in a hailstorm then go inside and find letters from their father, who they never met because he still lives in the cult their mother escaped from the day april was born. their mother tries to hide the letters from them but! these children do not relent. 

We tracked through the colourful forest in autumn, our rubber boots tore trails through the scattered maple leaves. Pronged pinecones crackled under my heels as I chased you, threading between the trees.

I was eight, you were faster but I managed to keep up all the same. A haze of rain sizzled on my skin, but rain didn’t phase me back then. I didn’t mind the water droplets that pearled down my neck into the hem of my bright yellow rain jacket.

they escape from the hailstorm and find their mother in the kitchen making tea (rare!) 

When we tripped over the doorframe and found ourselves panting in the kitchen, the kettle wheezed and mother emerged from her bedroom to take it off. The scent of green tea wafted through the air as she poured it, steaming, into a ceramic teacup with a crack veining down the side.

april tries to take one of the letters but her mother stops her. later during the night, she and elias get out of bed and read the letters and it turns out their father left the cult as well, and wants to meet up with them. april wants to meet him, but elias is bitter about it and doesn’t really even consider him their father because he was never there for them. 

chapter 10: frostbite

[image description: two pale hands reach towards the sky, in front of a blurry indigo background. in the top left corner, white serif font reads “chapter 10: frostbite” / end id]

tw: freezing to death

there are those weird times when their mom tells stories about her life. these incidents never end well but happen occasionally! she tells april about a time when her and a few other cult members were in the mountains and one of them froze to death. at this point april is around fifteen (which is where the main plot of the book is at right now)

She cut off there, blanched, stared out the window at the sun-speckled backyard, but I could fill in the rest of the details myself: skin a cold stone blue, frostbite jittering through the lungs and spine like a poison, eating everything slowly. Lying in the snow, letting the cold overcome them. Dead before morning. I wanted to ask if they buried the body, dug a grave of snow that would be melted by spring, or just left the corpse lying in the snow for someone else to find, or be eaten by a wolf pack, or to deteriorate, and haunt those lonely slopes forever.

afterwards, april goes outside (yes its snowing again 😭 as someone who dislikes snow i sure write about it a lot) 

On those days, my desperation to leave the house rose to a high and I would slide into a pair of ragged sneakers and a cable-knit sweater and push out into the cold. Once vibrant green leaves now greyed with frost, a snowfall months early but not unwelcome. Striking before the trees had the chance to shed their leaves. Frost brittled the branches of the oaks so I could snap them without an effort, not that I wanted to snap them. The concrete of the road was spined with ice that made it look like the ground was caving in, icicles barbed the eaves of our house like jagged teeth. Sometimes I thumbed snow into my mouth like a child, hoping no one was watching a seventeen-year-old eat snow, and let it blot my tongue and dribble down my throat. The cold shock to my system helped clear my mind of whatever mother had been talking about, helped me cope with the pain I shouldn’t have been feeling in the first place.

aaannd that’s everything i’ve written so far! this has been the worst writing slump of my life and i’m not too happy with most of the stuff i’ve written lately, but hopefully that clears up so i can update y’all again soon!

- ava

wips taglist (ask to be added or removed!) @shaelinwrites​ @august-iswriting​ @wildswrites @nodeadnarrators @annlillyjose @shaonharryandpannisim @letsgetsquiggly @strangerays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @dallonswords @teaandtypewriters @chewingthescenery​ @kahaaniyaa @coffeeandcalligraphy @47crayons​ @writing-is-a-martial-art​​

[honehonn3honey]

All drawings about Bakugou from 2019 to 2024

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special mention to Stikugou:

and the Kiribaku references in Kirishima’s belongings and hoodie Dynamight:

[honehonn3honey]

All drawings about Shouto from 2019 to 2024

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Special mention to this kind of fish and cat’s ass Shouto:

Oh! And this pillow that I don’t remember his name:

[honehonn3honey]

All drawings about Midoriya from 2019 to 2024

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special mention to cameo kid Izuku, tattoo of his last name and sleeping shorts Deku:

And this belt buckle I made thinking about him, I don’t know:

[honehonn3honey]

All drawings about Ensemble Stars from 2022 to 2024

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Special mention to the fish that for some reason reminds me of Kaoru, ID of Mika, wallpaper of Kanata, confession of Chiaki, references to Leo and Kohaku :