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illyrian-dreamer · 2 years ago

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Changing Shadows (Part 24 - Finale)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: You and Azriel just had a steamy encounter in the House of Wind – but you knew it had to be your last. What you weren’t prepared for, was how much it would hurt...

Please enjoy this finale to Changing Shadows!! It’s full of angst and fluff 🦇 💔☁️I hope you enjoyed reading this series as much as I did writing it, I so appreciate all the support along the way 💕

Image by koike9023

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of smut

Word count: 2,310

Part 24:

∇

You redressed quickly, finding your clothes scattered across the floor. You promised yourself this was the last time, and you meant it.

Azriel pulled his slacks up, his chest still bare when he turned to you.

“Why can’t we?” he asked softly.

“Pardon?” you asked back, surprised by his question.

“Why can’t we do ‘what it is that we do’,” he quoted your from earlier.

You sat on the chaise, your arms gripping the base as if trying to hold on as you prepared for how much this conversation would hurt. “You know why, Az.”

“We could be more,” he whispered.

“Not without hurting our family, not without putting them in danger.” You couldn't help the well of tears that built as you tried to explain.

“Rhys risked everything he had to give me a good life,” you continued. “And even after fifty years under Amarantha’s reign, he would have given an eternity just to keep us safe. I cannot impose any more risk to our family, our court, especially now with Nyx. Not after everything he has sacrificed. I owe him my life.”

Azriel nodded, looking away as he blinked quickly. “I respect your devotion to him, Y/N,” he swallowed, trying to smile. But you caught the pain in his hazel eyes.

You reached out and kissed his hands, tears now falling freely you as your heart broke at the reality of your own words.

“Please, Y/N, please don't cry,” Azriel begged, gentle thumbs wiping away your tears.

“I hate that I hurt you,” you sniffed.

“I hate that I’m hurting you back,” he replied.

Your heart was bleeding from the inside. This had gone on for too long. You had grown to love him too much, and you couldn't bare the pain any longer.

“I can't do this anymore Az.”

Azriel stayed quiet, waiting for you to explain.

“I can’t keep pretending I don’t care for your the way I really do, even if it is to keep our family safe.”

His eyebrows pulled in pain as he stroked your hair in comfort.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

You looked up at him now, sucking in a tight breath. You knew what you needed to do.

“I need to go. For good.”

The loneliness would ruin you, but you would do it. You could continue to serve and protect your family away from home.

Azriel's head snapped down to you, his face torn. “What do you mean go?”

“I can’t pretend any longer, Az. I need leave, I need to –”

“Please, please Y/N. Don’t leave,” Azriel’s voice broke as he knelt down to your level, his hands tightening around yours.

“I can't hurt like this any longer Az. It’s killing me,” you cried, your own voice breaking.

Azriel’s closed his eyes shut as he pressed his lips into a thin line. “Then I’ll go,” he whispered.

“What? No!”

“You shouldn't be the one to leave, Y/N, this is your home, and Rhys is your brother–“

“As he is yours. And this is your home just as much as mine”

“It’s not the same.”

There was silence between you.

“Your devotion to your brother and the Night Court is pure, Y/N, I will not get in the way of that. And if me being here hurts you so, I will leave. And when you’re ready – if you’re ready – I’ll come back, whenever and however you want.”

You swallowed, and your heart ached. “That is not what I want.”

“But it’s what you need,” Azriel replied. You didn't say anything, your silence agreeing for you. This was happening so fast.

“I will speak to Rhys about some long-distance missions.”

Tears flowed from you at the thought.

Stop him! your heart thundered. Say no! You shook your head, shaking the impulse away as you continued to cry.

A soft hand stroked your face. “I will always do what’s best for you, remember Y/N?”

You blinked up at Azriel, his gentle eyes trying to mask his own pain.

“I’m sworn to protect you, even if that means from your own heart.”

And then he was gone. The gust from Azriel’s winnow blew through your hair as you were left in the still of the room, silence the only comfort to you as you cried.

————

It was only a few hours later that you found yourself pacing the House of Wind. Your heart throbbed in an anxious need for Azriel, his distance already too painful for you to bare. What had you done?

You couldn’t handle it anymore. The torture it was to love this male. From the flirting, to the amazing sex, to the genuine love and respect you had for each other, only to have to give it all up for your family.

It was excruciating, and you finally admitted it to yourself. You clung to the pillows of the chaise, unable to stop your painful cries.

Suddenly, you were struggling to breath between sobs. You needed air.

Pushing through to the terrace, you braced the railing as you took a in deep breath of night, trying to calm yourself as tears continued to spill down your cheeks.

“Y/N?” Rhys asked from behind you.

Fuck. You hadn’t noticed he was at the house.

“I was coming to check in on you. What happened? Are you hurt?”

You couldn’t tell him the truth. You couldn’t let him know how much it hurt you to sacrifice your love for Azriel, not after the promises you had made to your brother to protect him – just as he had done for you.

You wiped your eyes, doing your best to keep your voice even.

“No, I’m not hurt,” you threw over your shoulder. “I just needed some air.”

You turned and started to make your way back inside as quickly as you could. You could not face him right now.

Stop, Rhys said in your mind.

You halted – it was extremely difficult to fight against that talon of power.

Turn, he ordered.

Clenching your jaw, you spun to face him. You looked anywhere but in his eyes.

“Y/N, look at me,” he said out loud. You raised your eyes to him, tears brimming once again. Your brothers face was soft with concern.

“Come here,” he patted the space next to him on the outdoor he now sat on. You breathed, forcing yourself to walk over and sit.

“Talk to me” Rhys said, frowning in concern.

You felt a wave of emotion rise in you – feelings of love and rejection washing over as you started to sob into your hands.

You and Azriel could never love each other properly. And it broke your heart.

“It’s Azriel,” you managed to get out.

Rhys placed a gentle hand on your back, rubbing soothingly. He waited, patiently listening.

“I never want to disappoint you Rhys,” you whispered, head buried in your hands.

“You could never disappoint me,” he replied.

You swallowed, trying to gain some control. “But I will, because I, well, I-“

“You love him?” Rhys offered, a coy smile on his face.

You looked at him now, breathing, blinking once, twice. “Yes,” you admitted. So he knew.

“Of course I knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Azriel asked me not to,” he shrugged. You could have killed him for his casualness as he draped one long leg over the over.

You stood up, pacing in front of him. What did he mean Azriel asked him not to?

“So, you’re not... angry?”

Rhys levelled a look at you. “Of course I’m not angry.”

“When you and Azriel visited Feyre and I at the River House – the day before you met with the healers – Az asked to see me privately,” Rhys explained. You remembered Azriel and Rhys making their way outside for a private conversation.

“He confessed he had suspected a bond between you two for quite sometime, but felt he couldn’t act on it. He was confused as to what it meant, saying his love had changed from when you were younger. He felt he was betraying his duties to me if he was to act on it.”

You stayed silent, staring at your brother. So this is what they talked about.

“He then said he was sorry if he was crossing a line, but he loved you so much that he would risk his position in the Night Court just for a chance to be with you.”

Your heart began to race. “He never spoke to me of this,” you said softly, your mind racing to catch up with what Rhys’s was telling you.

Your heart throbbed at the thought of Azriel keeping the bond a secret, all the while waiting for you to realise it too. Gods, it must have killed him to agree to work away from home.

“Azriel asked me not to say anything, and told me he would wait for you to feel the bond yourself. It was important to him that it was your decision to love him, not just because the bond willed it. He always wanted you to have the choice Y/N, to always have the option to say no.”

Your nodded slowly as things finally made sense. So that’s what he meant that he was sworn to protect you from your own heart. He hadn’t even confessed after you told him you could never be together – he let you choose your family over him.

Rhys continued his explanation. “Azriel then kneeled at my knees, swore to always love and protect you, and asked for my blessing should you choose to love him back.”

Tears started to stream down your face again. That male. That honourable, loving, selfless male. He truly was the love of your life.

“And?” you said, eyes pleading with hope.

“And,” Rhys continued, “I said that I couldn’t imagine more deserving people to find love in each other. That I was delighted two of the people I love most in this world had found one another, and would always have my blessing.”

You swallowed, overwhelmed by the enormity if his words. “But brother…,” your voice was barely a whisper. “My duties-“

“Your duties should never get in the way of love, Y/N. And I’ll be damned if they stop a mating bond from snapping into place.” Rhys was frowning at you now. “It pains me to hear you thought you had to give that up.”

You let out a soft cry. “I owe you my life, Rhys.”

“Sister,” Rhys said softly, his face one of shock. “You owe me nothing but commitment to your own happiness.”

You rushed at your brother, jumping into his arms with a cry. You were so relieved, so thankful for his words that you ached with joy.

“Thank you brother,” you kissed his cheek, unable to stop the flow of happy tears that now stained your cheeks.

“You do not need to thank me, sis,” he smiled down at you. “I love you, and I always want you to be happy.”

You sniffed, wiping your eyes.

“He’s patrolling the Rainbow if you’d like to find him,” Rhys winked at you.

You laughed, giving Rhys one more kiss on the cheek before turning to the edge of the terrace, wings extending as you leapt to find your love, and confess what you’ve known for a long time.

--------

You found Azriel perched atop a high building, looking down at the twinkling lights of the bustling riverside shops.

You landed gently behind him, and he turned around to you, his face shocked as he took in the sight of you.

“Y/N,” he breathed, standing now. He sensed the difference in your energy, your scent as you stood there, staring at the love of your life with fresh eyes.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Azriel’s face was now concerned.

You couldn't help the smile that formed as you walked towards him. Azriel matched your pace before you both paused at a distance.

A warm longing brewed in the depths of your heart, and that familiar tether of rope pulled in your stomach. You knew the reason you couldn’t stop thinking of him, never wanted to stop making love, and what made you both feral in jealousy. It was the feeling of coming home.

“Mate,” you said.

Azriel’s eyes widened, shocked to hear you say it. His face quickly changed to an expression of hope.

“You’re my mate,” you started to smile.

Azriel’s eyes began to well with tears as his eyebrows bunched in relief. You had finally said out loud.

You placed a hand on your heart as it beat and ached – now free to feel his love.

“You’re. My. Mate,” you beamed, taking a few steps closer to him.

“And you are mine,” Azriel swallowed, his voice breaking. “If you’ll have me,” he added shyly.

You ran to him and jumped into his arms as they wrapped across your waist, spinning you around. You brushed his jaw with a soft handand closed your mouth over his, kissing him deeply.

“I wish to have you everyday for the rest of my existence,” you said down at him, kissing him again through the smile you couldn't not control.

You felt his own tears against your cheeks as he pulled you in tighter.

“I love you beyond words Y/N,” he said. “I will give you the world.”

You kissed him harder, soaking him in. You could feel the bond between you forming, growing, a warm, delightful feeling binding you together.

“I love you too,” you beamed, running your fingers through his dark hair. “More than anything.”

Azriel’s face was unlike anything you had ever seen. Your beautiful and selfless mate had finally found true love, his happiness swirling in his hazel eyes as he stared at you, holding you closer.

“Now, are you hungry?” you winked.

You would cook a meal for him. And you would be mated. And you would spend the rest of your lives together, never hiding your love again.

THE END.

--------

AN: Ok, I’m shedding a few tears of my own posting this finale. These two FINALLY got the love they deserve.

Thank you SO MUCH for all the support on Changing Shadows. It has been so exciting to write and publish this story, and the best part is chatting to you guys about it. I can’t wait to do it again with fresh ideas and content.

I’ll be back out with the start of my Lucien series and some one-shots in the coming days. If you’d like to join my general tag list, just let me know :)

I love you guys, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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