#They both have so many similarities. They enjoy messing with their bros. making puns. being scary or cryptic at times.

[crybabydraws]

They're bonding! :>

Sans and Chara friendship propaganda for your viewing pleasure. I know I say this a lot, but man I just love them so much.

[danzinora-switch]

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 3 - Leonardo

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram a ton, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about). 

Parts One and Two found on the links for Raph and Don.

Leo: ESTP, 3w2

The Achiever, the Entrepreneur, the Charmer, the Explorer

I’ve wanted to say this for a long time: Leo is such a 3, he is such a 3 it hurts, oh my goodness. Read this: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3 and tell me that isn’t Leo to a T.

It took me a little longer to figure out the MBTI for him, but he has a lot of similarities with the ESTP. This does mean we need to step away from the ‘frat bro’ stereotype of ESTPs, though. They are a lot more keen than convention would suggest.

Really, a big thing with Leo is his need to be The Best. What that means, to him, is normally something physically-related. He needs to be the best at sports or performing certain moves, which we see in episodes like The Longest Fight where he bets he can pull off the impossible skateboard move, or Shell in a Cell where he asserts he can out-perform Ghostbear. Additionally, episodes like Air Turtle really showcase the ugly side of his competitiveness. But he also desires physical perfection. He is rather image-conscious, fretting about his body in Stuck on You, and routinely referring to himself as the team’s Faceman. The biggest example of this was his idea for a disguise in Hidden City Job: the Turtle Adonis. An adonis is considered the peak physical ideal, handsome and attractive to boot. If this drive doesn’t scream Enneagram Three I don’t know what does.

Leo at his worst: Leo’s competitive side can certainly get the best of him. We see this in episodes like Air Turtle, where his ‘win at all costs’ attitude starts to alienate him from the group. Raph has also described him as a ‘poor winner’ which refers to his tendency to gloat when he does beat out the competition, or was proven right (Bug Busters, The Gumbus, You Got Served, LAIR GAMES). He’s smug, gloating, and when he does lose tries to wiggle out of it through technicalities. The one time he says something isn’t a competition is after Mikey beats him at Skateball (You Got Served). And when he ‘loses’ the Lair Games, Donnie’s win comes with a catch that Leo built in.

Threes do this for approval and validation, though, and we see that underlying his need to be the team’s Champion in Minotaur Maze and Portal Jacked! “I’m nothing without them!” he cries to Hueso. “What good is a team with just a Faceman?” Threes have a need to distinguish themselves from others, to be admired, to have attention, so that they then feel valuable and worthwhile. Other people, then, are necessary. When Leo wants to get on the Wall of Champions in Minotaur Maze, his brothers factor in to his unmet needs. “...because what good is being a Champion if you can’t rub it in your brothers’ faces?” Leo doesn’t just need to be The Best… he needs others to acknowledge it, as well.

Average Leo: He’s got a practical eye for situations and the quickness to adapt and act as needed. The ESTP is known for being bold as well as perceptive. We see this in fight scenes such as Battle Nexus: New York when he is quick to determine that physical comedy is the key to making the sprite laugh and immediately changing his approach.

He also displays a remarkable amount of common sense when making decisions. In Origami Tsunami, as the guys discuss becoming heroes, he’s the one who shoots down ideas until they reach a more achievable goal: taking on paper thieves. And he’s got a point, can you imagine the turtles taking on a spine-breaker or mangler at that point in time? When everyone else is blinded by ideals concerning fixing the Mutant Menace, he’s the only one who asks “anybody down for staying home during the anti-mutant panic?” Of course, he still goes along with their adventure, because ESTP’s live in The Moment, so why not?

Something else that I want to mention is Leo’s appreciation for the Machiavellian. He has an incredibly intuitive grasp on it, and actively appreciates twists, turns, betrayals and deceptions. His love for magic probably stems from this (The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle) and he is the only one enjoying the series of betrayals in Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Hidden City Job also expands on the fact that Leo doesn’t have a problem with betrayal, as he revels about brotherly betrayal happening all the time. He’s cool with being betrayed… just know that he can betray you back. It’s all fair game.

This can have upsides and downsides. On the upside, his understanding of trickery can lead to brilliant plans and solutions such as what we saw in Many Unhappy Returns, where he was able to outsmart Big Mama herself. On the downside, this kind of behavior is not always the best move - his family does not appreciate being left out of the loop of his schemes, or actively being manipulated as part of them (Leo’s plan in Many Unhappy Returns worked, but he still left his brothers alone and exhausted, and did not consider the emotional effect it would have on Splinter being sent back into the arena). At that point it’s no wonder he asks “why does no one trust me?” Because you tend to have an angle, ‘Nardo. Be careful how you use that.

He is also incredibly persuasive. This is partly why I feel he is a 3 wing 2, ‘The Charmer’ because he knows how to communicate to get what he wants. When used for the right reasons, we see him settle discord such as cooling the mobs in You Got Served or apologize when he knows an apology is needed (Todd Scouts, Air Turtle, Hidden City Job). We see it used neutrally (and a bit skeptically) in Many Unhappy Returns when he declares he’ll just go to see Big Mama and “turn up the Leo”. It can also be used deceptively, however. Todd Scouts shows this when Leo is the one who convinces Todd that they’re ready to kick things up a notch by going out alone… when really they just want to get away from him. He’ll also use words to get under people’s skins: dismissing Warren Stone in Stuck on You, but also pointing out Donnie’s beach ball fear in Mind Meld. He knows which words will get the responses he wants, for better or for worse.

Leo at his Best: Leo is the team’s motivator. He’s the one giving the others the pep-talks and encouragement they need to continue (Origami Tsunami, Finale: Rise). Donnie said it best after Leo’s redemption in Air Turtle: “your confidence is giving me confidence!”

Because that’s the healthy thing about Threes: they strive to reach their own full potential, which also inspires others to reach theirs. Leo doesn’t like to fail/lose, but he won’t let anyone else succumb, either. He has the most confidence in each Mad Dog’s ability. “I knew you guys could handle it!” he says in Many Unhappy Returns, and points out with amazing accuracy just what his brothers are capable of. He not only believes in himself, he believes in those around him. And he’s able to inspire them when they’re feeling down about their own abilities or not enthused about the task (see his speech about standing up for the paper men in Origami Tsunami).

This also includes encouragement and compliments in other areas. Regarding the Shell Hogs: “Donnie, these are amazing! And I know everything I say sounds sarcastic, but I’m being completely genuine this time” (Stuck on You). When Mikey isn’t sure Hypno will like him: “What? Of course he will, you’re adorable!” (Newsworthy). To Raph, “Does this place have smoke detectors? Because you’re on fire, Big Daddy!” (The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle).

He’s also able to step in and take charge when Raph falls because he can see what action needs to be taken (that practical and observant, yet bold ESTP side coming in). When Raph gets separated in the sewers, Leo’s the one who doesn’t treat it casually and gets the others moving to find him (Man vs Sewer). When his older brother is hypnotized by Hypno in Stuck on You, he quickly reacts and tells Mikey and Donnie what the plan is and enacts it. We see this leader potential grow bit by bit, and his awareness of each individual’s role on the team allows him to step back from areas that he knows aren’t his forte: Raph can handle the ‘teamwork’ stuff, Donnie has got the technical know-how, and Mikey takes care of positive outlook for any situation. Leo can keep things fun and inspire confidence. His puns help lighten the mood, his jokes break the ice of tense situations, and he never stops believing in their own abilities, which keeps them all going (Donnie’s Gifts, Many Unhappy Returns).

Leo Relationships:

(While Leo has a competitive episode with each of his brothers: Shell in a Cell, Lair Games, and You Got Served, there is more going on than just that).

Raph: Both Leo and Raph have strong gut feelings that can be blindsided. Leo picks up immediately that Big Mama is not trustworthy while Raph is more than happy to believe her, but Leo is blinded by his fan-love for Jupiter Jim to realize that Marcus Montcrief is a crazy and suspicious adult, which Raph becomes aware of early on (Bug Busters, Jupiter Jim Ahoy!). They both can be a little too head-first when diving into plans, such as checking out the creepy bus in One Man’s Junk or doing their best to help April in Hypno: Part Deux. But they do trust each other to have each other’s backs, and there’s (thankfully!) no Leo vs Angst in this version of their characters. It really allows them to be comfortable with each other (and egg each other on with more than just missions: see the pizza pigeon in Mind Meld).

Donnie: In some ways Leo acts like a foil for Donnie. His own natural confidence counterbalances a lot of his twin’s insecurities. They butt heads over it, sure, with Donnie perhaps taking things too seriously and Leo seemingly not taking them seriously enough, but I like I said in Donnie’s typing: one’s chill and one’s uptight. There’s a ton of back and forth between them: they are the epitome of siblings fighting one minute and getting up to no good together the next (Example from The Mystic Library: Leo grooves out with Donnie’s rap one moment and tries to get him kicked off the team in the next scene). They may antagonize each other in Lair Games, Smart Lair, the beginning of Snow Day and Hidden City Job, and so much more, but also demonstrate brotherly love (and antics) in Operation: Normal, the end of Hidden City Job and Smart Lair, and, of course, Battle Nexus: New York. “For Donnie’s honor!”

Mikey: Leo sticks up for Mikey a fair amount, especially to Raph. He supports Mikey trying to open the portal in Mystic Mayhem, and going out on his first solo mission in Hot Soup: The Game. We actually need more Leo and Mikey episodes; of the two we have one is a competition episode (You Got Served), and The Gumbus has Leo tag along intent on proving Mikey wrong. It seems they like to hang out during the down time a lot, as they play in the arcade and skateboard off-screen in episodes such as Mrs. Cuddles, You Got Served, Mind Games, and Sparring Partner. And of course, we have the gripping image of Leo protecting Mikey’s shell with his own in Battle Nexus: New York. I’d really like to see them get up to more shenanigans, though. (hint, hint @nickelodeon​, @netflix​).

Ultimately, Leo is a confident, competitive turtle striving to reach his full potential. He is normally great at encouraging his brothers to do the same, and devising grand strategies, but tends to forget the emotional effects his actions can have on them, especially if he gets carried away on his quest to be The Best. He’s still learning, and these traits will likely flesh out as he grows into a more leader-like role.

For more information on the ESTP and Enneagram 3 personality types, click here:

https://www.16personalities.com/estp-personality

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-3

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-3-wing-2

https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.155775924.2701/flat,800x800,070,f.u5.jpg

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Spirit Committee Mod’s Christmas Gift to you

So back earlier this year when I first started this blog, one of the first ever requests I received was a question asking me “What were my 20 favorite Housamo characters?” At first I really didn’t have an answer since I was trying to reintroduce myself to the cast, but now that I’ve ingrained myself into the community a decent bit I can give you guys what I look for in a Housamo character as my thanks to all of you for just enjoying my content really. I look for what appeals to me visually (I’m the kinda writer that likes em big and beefy) but also well written. While not every character may or may not be the best written character since there’s so much reading I have to go back and do, but I am comfortable 20 characters I find to be downright great.

My Top 10~20 Housamo Characters

Honorable Mentions: Characters who do definitely qualify in the Top 20, but are just simply hard to place exactly in a definitive slot (lists like these are pretty hard to write for in hindsight…)

~Aegir: This is a character that’s very hard to place for a few different reasons. On one hand he’s easily one of the more aesthetically pleasing characters to me and I don’t just mean his body. There’s just always something about outfits in Housamo that just look amazing and I think Aegir’s is one of the better ones because they both show off his best assets and are pretty snazzy. His color scheme in most of his outfits tend to say hes an ocean man and I like you can just tell by looking at him given the whites and blues along with the gold he adorns himself with. Sort of what you’d expect from a treasure hunter such as himself. And yes he is a total heart throb alongside that I do have a bit of Gacha bias here and for the next one since I have all variants of them and some really good artwork. On the other hand, what do I know about him? Well, he’s a pretty boisterous fellow who loves to show off and is a big man. What else? Um…. Unfortunately Aegir’s events aren’t fully translated and his voice lines and bio do leave a bit to be desired for me at least. When it comes to writing him I have no issues, but when it comes to trying to visualize him as a character among the vast cast it just becomes hard to give him a good place beyond “He has a nice chest and bulge” most of the time. It’s not anything personal and my opinion of him may change after this Christmas event is over and translated by the Housamo Blogspot and GomTang is one of my favorite artists working with LifeWonders so he may get bumped up or off. As an additional upside I do like how his gameplay in both of his variants reflect his character, it’s a nice touch game designers often do.

~Takemaru: Yes, both 2019 Christmas boys. And yes, it’s because of their tiddies. I’m mostly kidding… But in all seriousness Takemaru is one of the better offensive supports in the game who’s one of the easier units to pull in the gacha, especially right now considering he has an alt on the banner so in theory he should be showing up more frequently as a 3star. But that’s just a theory. The thing with Takemaru I like beyond his design is the fact with how genuine sweet he is as a character. He’s rough in how he speaks but his personality is very sincere (for the most part from what I can gather) However he falls into the same trap as Aegir since I haven’t read the events he’s a part of just yet. Plus he is a crafter boy and you never say no to a Crafter.

~Kengo: One of two Summoners on this list. I have a bit more preference for Kengo over the other summoner that did make the list, but to be as fair as I can in my judgment I have to leave Kengo in the 11-20 pile. Visually he has all the check boxes that just draw me to a character initially and his personality is simple, but I like that he’s simple. Characters don’t always need to be complex and multi faceted to be engaging, plus I just kinda want someone who would encourage me to be more active and I feel a few characters alongside Kengo would do that, he’s a Chad and a bro. So why is he not in the inner circle for this list? It’s cuz the story treats him the worst. What do I mean? deep breath If you’ve read Chapter 3 of the main story then you should know the absolute mess it is. It tries to shove in as many characters as possible during this part of the story which, okay understandable since this is a gacha game but they forgot to give Kengo, you know one of the cover boys, a proper role in the story and it really feels LifeWonders thought that they could bank on Kengo’s Himbo status and just showing us the others. But I need sustenance. I need to read! He did because he has moments that could have been much more if they just shifted the focus back on Kengo for more than a few moments at a time and he sort of highlights a lot of my issues with the way the stories are told in this game but those are for another time.

~Arc: In my perspective, the antithesis to Kengo. Not to say I find Arc visually unappealing, but they aren’t for me the way other characters are though. As a character though Arc’s story is honestly one of the best stories has to offer and they actually have (pardon my pun) an arc. I won’t spoil too much of their story because it’s all pretty late into the game but you really do sympathize with Arc and begin to understand the larger narrative the game has. Plus a nice detail is that Arc’s voice lines change depending on the point of the story you’re in I guess? Or maybe it was a release thing I’m not too sure how you trigger one over the other but they get 2 sets of lines. And they actually integrate Arc into the story and revolving cast pretty well instead of casting them to the wayside for 80% of their story. I can’t go much deeper than that unfortunately. All I can say is read Chapter 7 and 8 but do know that they are some of the more darker and serious chapters in the game so far.

~Durga: The only Yoyogi girl who strives to be number one. Unfortunately she joined the wrong list and wound up in the runner up tier. But for starters Durga has one of my favorite voice actresses who plays a number of my favorite characters in anime and games so I’m glad LifeWonders are capable of getting such talented voice work. As a character I know what this character is mostly about and the event I haven’t really read yet is her initial one so when that gets an official TL I’ll read it to grow more understanding. But from what I have now I can safely put her as one of my favorites because her drive to be number one is inspiring to try your best and everyone should follow her example to some degree. I say that because she really does feel naturally flawed given her alleged age. I won’t spoil much of Dreamland but I will say how Durga’s struggle is further amplified is totally understandable given her position in the group of athletes and her desire to always win and why she always pushes herself to be her best at any cost and it’s definitely something I can see someone doing (without as catastrophic a breakdown when it backfires and just learning what works best for her). As for why she’s not in the other category given my praise of her character is because I don’t have the full story much like with a few prior entries on the list. But when that event does get a TL at some point I do want to read it and finally have the full picture for her so I can rank her properly.

~Kyuma: I shall dub him my Kouhai because he is a first year. A lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art, myself included, but overall his characters don’t really put me off that much since there’s only one in particular. Kyuma’s good though. He is a good, hardworking kouhai I’d enjoy being around given he seems the most levelheaded of his friends despite his age.  Or maybe its because of his age? There’s no grand singular reason he’s on this part of the list. He just needs to be in more events and get an actual alt. That’s all.

~Zao: I wish he was introduced in a better event because he is one of the better characters released in year one. But good lord does his event drag you through the dirt with terrible battles and awful pacing. It’s unfortunate his whole story is dragged down because the game was still in an early spot when this event originally came out. Outdated gameplay aside I think Zao does best in setting the precedent for shop units when it comes to writing and design. I like his arc going from a stubborn mountain man to a more open and accepting person. However he has a similar issue with Kengo where he has to share his spotlight with characters of varying degrees but unlike Kengo the other characters who appear in this event are meant to compliment Zao rather than detract from him.

~Amatsumara: He’s the dad of the Crafters and is who makes the Crafters really feel like a family. Every member feels like they have a role in the Guild and you can really see how much Amatsumara values them. He just seems like the doting father type who gives you noogies and I can respect that. Seeing him interact with characters in Chapter 9 was also one of the more enjoyable aspects of that chapter. I won’t spoil it but it was pretty good.

For the final 2 they’re just characters who’s designs I like a lot and just need to do more research since this game has a lot of characters to try and find information on

~Dagon

~Tomte

And yes, its cuz they’re cute and new. I am shallow… ;u;

Now for the Top 10 favorites, but even then placement can change depending on what LifeWonders plans to do with them down the line.

10. Gunzo: Kicking off this list is the rugby player himself. To start he’s a very dorky athlete. He isn’t the greatest at handling social situations and kind of a goofball when it comes down to it. But those are not bad things, in fact they’re what landed him on the list. His quirkiness is just plain adorable and I do enjoy the antics he and his classmates get into. Not only that but he’s a pretty laid back guy once you get to know him a bit better. It’s his lack of awareness that is his best strength, but worst weakness at times.

9. Kurogane: deep breath ANIKI~!!! Jokes aside Kurogane is the character that when I first saw, I was very disappointed he wasn’t playable. (Then GoGo happened and made me one happy person) and he’s voiced by the same guy who did Broly back in the day so that’s pretty awesome. Kurogane actually likes it a lot when you call him “Big Bro” and I would totally call him that once I found out he did because he’s so wholesome and goodwilled. Plus he does deserve some recognition as someone older since he is the youngest in his Guild. Not only that I can sort of relate to Kurogane’s desire at being an engineer since when I was still attending classes in college that was what I was studying as my major. I can’t quite match the same level of enthusiasm as Kurogane, I do see where his character does come from when tackling certain things, which is how he easily became one of my favorites.

8. Claude: You want a sugar daddy? Claude is probably your guy. So the leader of the Berserkers Guild is a great guy, most of the time. He has his moments where he can get carried away with his own desires rather than doing the correct thing, but honestly there’s something satisfying about a man just taking what he wants. That and well, getting a bit of a wake up call that you can’t just do all of that because you’re bored. His character quest is what really sold me on Claude as a character and something about it felt very real. A lot of it was very vague terminology and confirms Claude’s status as a bottom. Claude is also very intelligent and he’s always trying to make the best move that will benefit the most amount of people, whether or not its for his own interests usually. Also this wouldn’t be your mod if I didn’t mention how good he looks, especially his outfits. Bombom just really knows how to design clothes.

7. Moritaka: Arguably the face of the franchise right after Salomon. Moritaka, to my knowledge, is one of the most popular Housamo characters and to be frank I can see why he would hold that title. He’s just a lovable character with cute art. I really think I show my love for him in my Headcanons so I’ll keep it brief by saying he’s a really enjoyable character.

6. Maria: Our local Lesbian sister will help you find true love, I promise. Maria is another really popular and well-liked character and again I can totally see why. She’s cute as a button and really compassionate towards everyone she meets. And from what I’ve seen from her, Maria is very honest with herself going forward from a certain point which is so satisfying to see. I won’t spoil her entire arc even though her chapters have been out for a while just so you can experience it for yourself. She’s too precious for me to spoil. But her character growth aside, she’s a very compassionate and kind character even to those who aren’t the most kind in return and she even goes out of her way to try and relate to those characters despite the fact they might not make sense.

5. Hephaestus: Here we have my son, please buy him Legos instead of Mega Bloks or he’ll cry. I was a little hesitant with Hephaestus at first to be blunt. He seemed to be quite crude in certain places and really uncaring and a little cliché with his attitude. Plus he’s quite nasty to Talos, often times getting mad at Talos for simply doing what he was made to do. But Chapter 9 really put it into perspective. For spoilers I can’t say what made me turn around from wanting to look away from wanting to just hold him and protect him. All I can say is that he has been put through the wringer and just deserves to be happy.

4. Ashigara: Best bear, Volos stans don’t come for me. I explained it before but Ashigara is a character that tends to radiate “me” energy and I can totally see us being friends in real life. He’s the kind of guy who’d send you memes when your sad but he’d eat all your food, which is why you were sad in the first place. All about give and take.

3. Oniwaka: A bully BF uwu god have mercy but yes. Oniwaka was actually my first ever Housamo summon when I first began to play and on my most recent account (I’ve been on and off with the series until I started this blog and became more of a permanent player) he was my first 5star unit so it weirdly came full circle with him. His alternate skins are an absolute delight to behold and he is no slouch in the writing department after the slog that was Chapter 3. If anything he just got better with each appearance. He was rough around the edges, but seeing his softer sides just warms your heart.

2. Wakan Tanka: Touching down at silver place is my “Housamo Husbando”. Weird I know but let me explain. Wakan Tanka is a character I very much love and cherish, he is a really cute boy who just wants to do good by everyone he meets. He hates treating people especially different which is societal goals. However, he has a tendency to come off as a bit too perfect. While I really like him, he’s also feels more like an ideal than someone who can actually develop and grow. Wakan has basically achieved ascention. As for the top place on this list though…

1. Taurus Mask/Daisuke Ikusaba: Much like how Oniwaka was my first pull, Daisuke was my first Housamo crush. First and foremost his design is what I consider to be very tasteful. It’s both an incredibly attractive outfit, it’s also very appropriate and it isn’t too distracting. Second I love how LifeWonders leans into a character completely and just goes all out with a number of references to their lore or culture. Since Daisuke is a luchador inspired character its really cool to see his Summon Day be May 5th. Thirdly and finally, his writing as a character completely wins me over. He is a shy senior by day, but wrestling prodigy by night. Not only is that badass, but you have the perfect set up and the writer in me squeaks like a little fan girl that I am. Wrestling was never really my thing growing up so while I don’t have any fondness for it in particular, if I had seen Taurus Mask in action you would see me in the crowd shouting for him. Daisuke is just that amazing and why he’s my Number 1 favorite Housamo character.

[tally-kiza]

Horrortale and Horrorfell Headcanons

After making some Horrorswap and Horrorswapfell headcanons, I decided to try my hand at Horrorfell and Horrortale hc’s!

(this is slightly edited and revised as of 02/07/2020 so if things seem different than before, thats why)

Horrorfell Papyrus (Voss)

- Years of struggling to survive have tempered his ego and grandiose. He doesn't have the energy to loudly trumpet his own greatness anymore.

- Fights with unruly Snowdin-folk have left his teeth oddly-spaced, cracked and crooked, and a collage of small cracks along his bones and skull.

- After Undyne became queen and began her tyranny, she and Pap got into a terrible fight, which lead to Sans's cracked skull and the loss of Papyrus’s hand. The loss made surviving that much harder, but makeshift prosthetics certainly helped.

- Still the responsible one. (When they’re Underground) he cooks food for himself, Sans, and Snowdin. Sets up very gorey and deadly traps to capture humans. Motivates Sans enough to keep him from dusting. Reports to Undyne daily. Keeps her wrath out of Snowdin.

- Once, when he caught a particularly fierce monster trying to steal food, he attempted to dust them, but the monster fought back and punched a section of Pap’s jaw. Those bones, being too weak from malnutrition, shattered, leaving only half his jaw, only one cheekbone, and vision in only one of his eyes. Talking was very painful for him afterwards, and even when he does get a prosthetic jaw, he never says much, and rarely if ever yells.

- The injury caused blindness in one of his eyes. He was already partially-blind in the other eye from a scar, and with this new jaw injury, it left his vision so poor that he’s legally blind.

- Generally very serious. Resting face is just (눈_눈). After all he's been through, not much can faze him. Rarely ever smiles or laughs, and is easily irritated. He may not be able to yell anymore to express that irritation, but boy does he have a glare that could turn you to stone.

- On the surface, he's still the one taking care of him and his brother. 

- Gets his teeth fixed with braces on the surface--even though he hates how stupid he thinks he looks for the entire 2-year process, he has to admit he’s happy that he’ll be in less pain soon.

- Is given a seeing eye and therapy dog to help him and his brother. Voss says he doesn't need one, that's he's perfectly fine, but he can't deny that it makes his life easier and a heck of a lot nicer. Paps is also pleasantly surprised when the dog comforts Sans when he dissociates, and himself when his thoughts start spiraling and the dark days catch up to him. 

- Both of them try to train it into being a guard/attack dog, but attempts have been unsuccessful (i.e. the dog is sweet as heck and doesn't have a mean bone in its body.)

- While he's not particularly fond of humans, he doesn't outright avoid them like his brother does. But he is, however, the king of passive aggression, and with his irritability, there’s no telling what untoward comments or petty revenge he may hoist upon an unsuspecting human.

- Loves filling out sudoku and crossword puzzles. They’re a nice way to unwind and stretch his brain muscles. It’s almost frightening how fast he can complete them. And he has a shockingly good track record for getting them 100% right almost every time!

- An amazing cook. Can make a gourmet meal out of food scraps. But he doesn’t enjoy it much anymore. It’s just a duty, like everything else. Before the famine, he loved cooking; it was his passion, but then it was... soured for him.

- Despises not being productive, so he works a lot, at the job that makes him happiest: a plant nursery! Weeding, watering, planting trees, etc, it all seems so very mundane but it’s just... such a nice reprieve from the stress he’s used to. He loves helping things grow and flourish instead of destroying them.

Horrorfell Sans (Rem)

- Will eat anything. A N Y T H I N G. Even if it isn't edible. He doesn't go out of his way to do it, but there were times during the famine when there wasn’t any choice.

- Basically a big ol' teddy bear. His closest friends will receive unexpected tsundere cuddles. He’s fluffy no matter how hard he denies it.

- Feels very awkward generally. He doesn't know what to do with himself on the surface. He also tends to says all the wrong things at all the wrong times. Also occassionally blunt and straightforward. Almost rudely so. Doesn’t care much about people’s feelings, he just wants them to know the facts.

- Doesn't make friends easily. Basically ignores most humans on the surface until his brother makes Sans get off his ass and be a contributing member of society. Is openly hostile to humans at first, but after a few years he relaxes around them more.

- If, by some miracle, you actually befriend him and his brother he'll defend you within an inch his life. He doesn’t take friendships and closeness lightly, and if he trusts you enough, he won’t let anything bad happen to you.

- The underground was very aggressive, and you could get attacked at any time, so napping was a no-go. On the surface, however, once he feels safe, he will nap. ALL. THE. TIME. There is no waking him before he is ready.

- He's not in the best state of mind, so he probably won't ever get a full time job, but he'll probably do odd jobs once in a while. Something easy with heavy lifting or where he can slack off.

- The hole in his head gave him memory problems worse than HT Sans's. If you tell him something, Sans could very well forget it almost 5 minutes later. Gets lost often and forgets where he is, so his brother tags around with him a lot to help keep Sans on track.

- Luckily writing things down is a pretty good solution to that, so he keeps a lot of pencils and notebooks around for when he needs to jot down notes to remember.

- Much like Red, Rem adores video games. The former prefers horror and competitive games where he can whup the asses of anyone he wants, whereas the latter likes more casual stress-free games like Candy Crush and Angry Birds -- Rem’s had enough stress for one lifetime, he doesn’t want any more of it. So the more casual ones are his favorites. 

- Collects objects! Mostly little knickknacks and trinkets he finds, like marbles, tickets, stamps, even slow globes! His otherwise sparse room is filled with these and he loves every one of them.

- After Undyne smashed his skull in, it took a part of his eye socket too, so he's blind in that eye now. His other eye is bright red and dilated just like HT Sans’s eye.

- Thinking is so hard sometimes... so he doesn’t talk much anymore. And he still loves puns and jokes but making them is harder these days because of his injury. The easiest ones for him are knock-knock jokes, so he has a set of bone-themed ones that he memorized a long time ago to shoot off whenever appropriate.

- Has occasional episodes where he depersonalizes and derealizes. The world around him gets fuzzy and its hard to think and react. Those moments are... distressing. Once in a while, he’ll also have black-out fits of rage, mostly triggered by the site of heavy bleeding -- but his brother can usually talk him down from those. 

- Like all the others, the famine left him really messed up. He doesn't like thinking about it, and even though he doesn’t regret doing what he had to to survive, the guilt still eats him up sometimes...

Horrortale Sans (Mars)

- Quiet and observant. When he gets to the surface, he doesn't talk much, and when he does it's usually some sassy joke or observation. Usually talks the most when his bro is around, but generally he’ll just let Pap steer the conversation instead.

- Doesn't remember much from before Frisk left. The majority of his scientific knowledge has disappeared. He knows he used to know these things, and it frustrates him endlessly that he can't understand it anymore. He tries to read scientific studies once in a while, but always ends up just throwing his phone/book across the room in frustration.

- Not very hostile towards humans, just ignores those he can. Often people stare at him and it gets... very annoying after a while. So he just ignores them and keeps doing his thing.

- Often dissociates, he spaces out and loses himself. Occasionally during these moments he’ll forget that he’s on the surface and he’s safe. So his bro made a list for him of things to remember during these, when he’s not around to comfort Mars in person. The list includes like Frisk is gone, they can’t hurt anyone; humans are good; they’re safe and well; they're not going back underground. It’s ver comforting to Sans.

- Has a weird fascination with dark jokes. They simultaneously make him uncomfortable yet he loves them. He won’t say them too often, most of the time just to unnerve someone he dislikes. (Pap groans and chastises Sans whenever he makes them, but secretly deep down, he finds them funny too.)

- On the surface, he’ll often wear a beanie or his hood to cover up the hole in his skull. Having it exposed to surface air, especially high winds, felt similar to strong winds whipping against your face, so the beanie helps with that. Eventually though, he gets a prosthetic mold that perfectly fits into the hole, so it’s all covered and he doesn’t have to worry about it anymore. Mars is a lot happier with it.

- Hates sand. It’s coarse and rough and gets everywhere like his joints and head hole.

- Loves sandwiches. Passionate about them. There’s just so many possibilities to them. Makes them out of everything so that they usually end up being at least 3+ inches tall. Yet he can’t open his teeth so how can he eat them...?? Truly, it is a mystery.

- Likes listening to instrumental songs. Especially the relaxing kind. They’re such a nice reprieve from the constant, deafening silence of the Underground.

- Post-it notes are a life-saver. He has terrible memory, so he keeps a bunch of them in his hoodie and scattered all over the walls of his house so he can write down stuff before he forgets.

- Ver affection-starved. He secretly loves affection but doesn’t get it enough (from anyone other than his bro). Is surprisingly soff for cuddles and petpats. Feeling your soft touch on his bones always makes him so soft and happy.

- When Mars got to the surface, he discovered all these insanely cool weather phenomena and fell in love. They never had anything like that underground, so seeing it all for the first time, in all its chaotic, unpredictable, majestic glory left him starstruck. It’s one of the few things hes genuinely interesting in, and his face always lights up whenever he talks about the different types of tornadoes and lightning and! the aurora!! It's so awesome, he loves all of it.

- Loves watching livestreams of the sky and weather-events. Usually it’s so chill and quiet to him, even if there’s something not-so-chill-and-quiet being recorded. It’s ver relaxing to him.

- Befriending Mars is a task and a half. He assumes anyone who tries to get close to him is up to no good. But with a combination of puns, friendliness, and persistence, he will eventually trust you. Once you get past his aloof exterior, he’s a pretty nice and chill friend to have. 

- Hates to think about the famine and his time underground. Even though he’d do it all over again to save him and his brother, he’s still haunted by the memories of what he had to do. Barely ever entertains the idea about doing so on the surface.

Horrortale Papyrus (Jupiter)

- Fashion icon. Like dang, can this skellie put an outfit together. If you ever need fashion tips, always go to Paps. He’ll use the opportunity to show off his wardrobe and all his cool embroidered leather jackets and boots. He even offers to embroider your clothes too so you can look like him!

- Like canon Papyrus, Jupiter is charmingly eccentric. Not crazily so, just in that usual Papyrus way. But he’s also a lot chiller, too. The famine sapped his energy, so it got harder to proclaim his cool greatness, but he still likes thinking he can still be cool and great after all these years.

- An excellent cook. Can make a buffet out of scraps. Ever since he got out from the surface, now that he has all the ingredients he could ever want, he’s taken up cooking as a serious hobby. He’s even won multiple local cooking contests! Only ever cooks vegetarian meals, but with the power of tofu, he always makes them taste succulent and delicious.

- Baking, however, is still a bit of a challenge for him, but Pap is determined to master it just like he did cooking!

- Has a giant collection of small succulent plants in his house. They’re everywhere, on the windowsills, the bookshelves, hanging from the ceiling. He loves them and their simple beauty; seeing them throughout his home always makes him smile.

- After he arrived on the surface, he almost immediately got braces to fix his teeth. The fancy kind with colorful dots! They’re kinda painful to wear, but nonetheless he’s psyched the entire time that his teeth will be better soon.

- Gets helpful glasses on the surface. He loves them; not only do they allow him to see-- which had been progressively harder underground as he became increasingly malnourished-- but they look cool too! They even fade into being sunglasses when he goes outside, so every time the sunny rays hit his face, he becomes his Ultimate Coolness Form!

- It’s... it’s harder to believe sometimes that with everything that’s happened and with the way he looks now that he’s... cool. But! He always has Sans’s and his therapist’s encouraging words to rely on when he feels down, which is always a big help to him.

- Loves wholesome memes, and will send them to you all the time. He especially likes the drink water ones, mostly because he thinks it’s an important healthy reminder. “YOU NEED WATER, HUMAN! IF YOU DON’T DRINK WATER, YOU MIGHT TURN INTO A PRUNEY, DEHYDRATED RAISIN AND DIE! AND THAT WON’T BE A FUN SITUATION FOR ANYONE. SO PLEASE DRINK YOUR LIQUIDS!”

- His favorite activity is! Picnics!! Especially in the park and with other people! They’re so much fun, he loves nomming his delicious foodstuffs on a comfy blanket while the warm sunlight shines on his happy face. It’s extra fun when there’s clouds in the sky for him and you and anyone else to find cool shapes in!

- Still gets panic attacks from time to time, when the memories get too strong and he feels like he’s still underground, starving to death... He goes to counseling to deal with his trauma. The famine really did a number on him, and even though he puts up fronts and says he's fine, it’s hard to deal with the memories sometimes.

- Really cares for his brother and always makes an effort to be there for him. The famine, even though it led the bros to be closer than ever before from seeing each other in those desperate states, put a strain on their relationship. But on the surface, after everything’s said and done and they’re getting the help they need, it’s steadily improving.

- Jupiter is hard of hearing. He has difficulty differentiating certain words, and talks loudly to be able to hear himself better. On the surface however, he gets treatment so his hearing is far improved! Apart from getting a hearing aid, he takes up learning sign language (mostly so he can be cool in more than one language!), and likes it and talking to people with it so much that he eventually becomes a sign language interpreter! It’s a great job and he loves being able to help people this way.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior July 16, 2021 - SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY, ESCAPE ROOM: TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS, PIG, ROADRUNNER, GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE, and More!

We’re starting to get into the thick of summer where we’re likely to get two or maybe even three wide releases a week, and that’s definitely the case this weekend, even if it’s likely that Marvel’s Black Widow will continue to run rampant and should stay at #1 for a second weekend in a row. I also was busier than usual due to the Emmy nominations yesterday, but I now hopefully have a few easier months until the actual Emmys. (Famous last words.)

We actually have two sequels this week, one a sequel to a movie from a few years back and the other a sequel (of sorts) to a movie from 1996, so yeah, released a few months away from the 25th Anniversary of its predecessor. That always goes well.

We’ll start with SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY (Warner Bros.), the long-awaited sequel/reboot of the 1996 movie that captured Michael Jordan at the height of his popularity and paired him with the Looney Tunes i.e. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, etc. For years, Warner Bros. and various parties have been trying to make a sequel, but it took basketball superstar, Lebron James and no less than Ryan (Black Panther) Coogler, to finally get the sequel made.

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee (Girls Trip, Barbershop: The Next Cut), the sequel involves James and his son Dom (newcomer Cedric Joe) having issues that are taken advantage by an A.I. named Al G. Rhythm (played by Don Cheadle) who brings James and Dom to the Warner Bros. “Server-verse” for a basketball game that teams James with the Looney Tunes against his son and a group of super-powered NBA and WNBA stars i.e. The Goon Squad.

Yeah, it’s a similar concept as what led to the 1996 movie that capitalized on Jordan’s popularity and threw in other NBA greats like Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing, plus a little Bill Murray, and then lots of Warner Bros’ popular toon characters. That original movie opened with $27.5 million in 2,650 theaters in mid-November 1996 against the second weekend of Mel Gibson’s Ransom, but it went on to gross $90.4 million domestically with the bump from the holidays (which A New Legacy doesn’t have). In some ways, the movie was a response to the success of the 1988 hybrid Who Framed Roger Rabbit, which included many of the Looney Tunes, despite it being a Disney movie.

Looney Tunes movies (and even movies based on WB properties like the Cartoon Network) haven’t done particularly well since the first movie with Looney Tunes: Back in Action opening in November 2003 with just $9.3 million and grossing just $20.5 million domestically, which isn’t good. Space Jam: A New Legacy is Warner Bros’ first attempt to bring its toons back to theaters, and the company will be watching it closely since it has already started production on Coyote vs. Acme, a CG animated film featuring the age-old nemeses.

As far as basketball movies, the comedy Uncle Drew, which also starred Lil Rel Howery oddly, that opened with a decent $15.4 million in the summer of 2018 and grossed $42.6 million domestically, but that’s without the name brand of “Space Jam” or the beloved toons that will be a bigger selling point to kids than the basketball.

Working in Space Jam’s favor is that it’s a movie both for adults who were kids when the first movie came out, as well as modern-day kids who love sports or the toons, and that should help drive business over the weekend. What is likely to hurt is that the reviews, so far, have been absolutely TERRIBLE - 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, and while that might not put off the kids, it certainly will put off their parents.

The movie is also debuting simultaneously on HBO Max, just like other Warner Bros. movies this year, although as we’ve seen with Godzilla vs. Kong and Mortal Kombat, that doesn’t necessarily hamper how a movie might do in theaters. One thing that’s changed is that Disney announced its PVOD numbers from Black Widow’s Disney+ debut over the weekend, which might change people’s tunes about feeling the need to go to theaters to see a movie like this, and that certainly might affect Space Jam’s opening weekend, but I think it will mean an opening in the mid-to-high $20 millions vs. something in the mid-$30 millions. It also doesn’t have too much family competition until Disney’s Jungle Cruise in two weeks, so it should be able to make $70 million in domestic theaters even with it being readily available on HBO Max.

Mini-Review: I’ll freely admit that I don’t have the long-term nostalgia for the original Space Jam of so many others. In fact, I only saw it for the first time a few days ago on my TV set, which may be the way many will see Space Jam: A New Legacy due to the fact that it’s on HBO Max. It’s just another casualty of my ‘90s when I wasn’t seeing many movies and also wasn’t going to see “kids’ movies.” But I do have a soft spot in my heart for the Looney Tunes, and HBO Max even did a pretty good job with its revival last year with some new shorts.

Unfortunately, this is more of a Lebron James/Warner Bros jam, to the point where you might wonder whether Lebron dictated how he wanted to be depicted to the gaggle of writers, and then Warner Bros came in and said, “Make sure to mention how great all our other properties are as well!”

The general plot involves Don Cheadle’s dumbly pun-named Al G. Rhythm -- I promise you’ll cringe everytime you hear that name -- trying to get attention by creating a showstopping basketball game between James and his son in a video game designed by the latter, and for whatever reason, it’s James who turns to Bugs Bunny to put together a team. It’s nearly 30 minutes before we finally see the Looney Tunes together, and that’s probably the best part of the movie, as Bugs goes to visit different worlds in the Warners “server-verse” to find his compatriots. I won’t spoil some of the movie worlds it visits, but these are some of the movie’s funniest scenes, although the laughs are fleeting since they’re relatively short gags. They're ruined by the movie going overboard in an attempt to throw James into some of these worlds, particularly the DC Comics superhero-verse, which seems like it might be influenced by the cartoons but never quite achieves that style of animation.

An hour into the movie, the Tune Squad is turned into 3-dimensional CG, as they face the Goon Squad team of NBA and WNBA all-stars transformed into creatures with superpowers. It's just unable to recover as the movie’s last hour focuses on that game, which is fine other than the fact that it's an awkward combination of the CG players with the audience being all sorts of background cosplayers acting as if they were found on Hollywood Boulevard or Times Square. This is the first time in a long time where I felt that the background actors ruined every scene... and then, of course, James and Cheadle are in there in a guise that seems to be a mix of human and CG.

I’ve been a fan of director Malcolm Lee for quite a long time, but Space Jam: A New Legacy is just an absolute disaster of a mess. Not that any of that matters much, because James is clearly a better ball player than he is an actor, and that fact keeps any of the movie from really gelling or offering much in terms of fun or excitement. I wanted to like the movie or find out what so many kids seemed to enjoy about the original movie 25 years ago, but sadly, that just never happened.

Rating: 5/10

The movie I’m looking forward to the most this week and will probably have seen by the time I write this is the high-concept horror sequel, ESCAPE ROOM: TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS (Sony), which follows up a little over two years since the original Escape Room. This one is also directed by Adam Robitel and starring Taylor Russell and Ben Logan as survivors of an escape room created by an evil corporation doing experiments to see how people will act. The movie benefitted from putting terror into a very familiar and popular world of escape rooms, which obviously have not been quite as prominent since COVID racked the land.

The original Escape Room opened the very first weekend of January 2019, which has seen a lot of horror hits over the years, and it proved to be a wise move by Sony since it opened with $18.2 million despite the lack of any big stars. It also had better legs than most horror movies, grossing $57 million domestically and $98 million overseas. It also did quite well in DVD and Blu-ray sales, which meant that the sequel was greenlit fairly quickly.

Unlike Space Jam: A New Legacy, the Escape Room sequel is coming out a little over two years since the first movie, which is good since more young people will remember it. Another advantage it has is that it’s ONLY playing in theaters, plus it’s also getting a full 9-hour advantage by opening on Thursday afternoon, so it could make quite a bit of money before Space Jam shows up and takes over the second spot behind Marvel’s Black Widow. It’s also PG-13 so teenagers who might not have much interest in other movies out there (or they’ve already seen them) will be able to see the movie as a group without adults.

That said, I’m not quite sure the Escape Room sequel can open anywhere near the first movie only because it’s getting a summer release where it might not be getting quite the attention of other high-profile movies out there. I’d like to think it can pull in somewhere around $15 million and maybe moviegoers will surprise me since that first movie was generally popular and its sequel can’t be viewed on some streamer day and date. We’ll see if it can then translate that into a $35 to 40 million domestic total, since I’m not sure it can match the take of the original at least domestically.

My review for Escape Room: Tournament of Champions is over at Below the Line, and you'll see that I liked it quite a bit.

This Week’s Top 10 Predictions:

Since I don’t think that Space Jam: A New Legacy will make $40 million this weekend, that keeps Black Widow at the top for a second weekend in a row.

1. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $35 million -57%

2. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $27.8 million N/A

3. Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (Sony) - $15 million N/A

4. F9 (Universal) - $6 million -48%

5. The Boss Baby: Family Business (Universal/DreamWorks Animation) - $4.8 million -46%

6. The Forever Purge (Universal) - $3.8 million -47%

7. A Quiet Place Part II (Paramount) - $2.4million -28%

8. Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain (Focus) - $2.1 million N/A

9. Cruella (Disney) - $1.9 million -20%

10. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (Lionsgate) - .9 million -47%

This week’s “Chosen One” is Rosalynde LeBlanc and Tom Hurwitz’s documentary, CAN YOU BRING IT: BILL T. JONES AND D-MAN IN THE WATERS (Kino Lorber), which is a surprisingly good documentary that combines a classic work of contemporary dance with how it originated from out of the AIDS pandemic of the ‘80s. Bill T. Jones was running the Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane Company with his love and partner Arnie Zane, when the latter died from AIDS, and the deaths that followed led Jones to create “D-Man in the Waters.” Decades later, LeBlanc is performing “D-Man” with her college dance class, and she, along with Cinematographer Tom Hurwitz, ASC, capture that experience and embellish it with interviews with Jones and the original company performers.

Honestly, I’ve always been a bit reticent about dance and movies about dance, even though I’m almost always find that I enjoy them, like, for example, Wim Wenders’ Pina and the Cunningham doc from a few years back. The same thing happened with Can You Bring It, where I went in expecting to hate it or not find it interesting, and nothing could be further from the truth. FIrst of all, the original dance performance is something to behold, because there’s just an amazing physicality involved, which is why it’s amazing to watch LeBlanc (and the Jones himself) discussing the conditions in which the piece was written, but also getting some historical context about New York City at the time and how it was left ravaged by AIDS.

Hurwitz has tons of experience with documentary but LeBlanc is a relative newbie, but the two of them working together create a fantastic portrait of Jones, his amazing choreography work, and how the world of dance has been improved by the existence of his work and younger dancers trying to recapture the spirit of the original work. As I said, this movie was a pleasant surprise by how much I enjoyed it, since it woudln’t normally be my thing, but if you have even a remote interest in NYC’s iconic contribution to dance and how it was torn apart by the ‘80s AIDS crisis, you should give this a look.

Can You Bring It opens at the Film Forum this Friday, plus it will also be available via Virtual Cinema nationwide. Also starting at the Film Forum on Friday is its first series since the pandemic, a comprehensive Humphrey Bogart hardboiled retrospective with 19 films in 35mm and DCP.

You can also read my interview with Director/DoP Tom Hurwitz over at Below the Line later today.

A movie I’ve really been looking forward to seeing is Morgan Neville’s ROADRUNNER: A FILM ABOUT ANTHONY BOURDAIN (Focus Features), which does for the famed celebrity author and chef what Neville’s previous movie, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, did for Mister Rogers, really going in-depth into the life and career of the celebrated and opinionated foodie. Bourdain committed suicide in June 2018, leaving a lot of his friends and fans wondering why he would take his own life when he was at the height of his career. Neville’s film looks at that, but it takes some time before it gets there.

Oddly, even though I was a huge Bourdain fan and even moreso after reading his book, “Kitchen Confidential,” this isn’t my favorite movie Neville has made, and I’m still trying to figure out why. Sure, there’s tons of extra never-before-seen footage from the taping of his various world-travelling television shows. They do show us another side of Bourdain that maybe we didn’t get to see from what was eventually aired.

I guess I was disappointed that Neville didn’t try to talk to Asia Argento, or maybe he did, and she declined? (I was hoping to talk to Morgan Neville for Below the Line about this movie, but it wasn’t meant to be.) Bourdain’s friends and co-workers on the show talk about how Argento’s inclusion into Bourdain’s life disrupted the creation of his television show, particularly the Hong Kong episode Argento directed, which apparently wasn’t without its problems, even before it was yanked from CNN after Bourdain’s death. No one blames Argento for Bourdain's choice to kill himself, but it would have been nice to get her take on the man for a more complete profile.

Even so, one of my biggest issues with the movie -- and this is where I prove unequivocally that absolutely NO ONE reads this column -- has nothing to do with Neville’s filmmaking prowess or storytelling ability, but more to do with the complete inability by many that talk about his death to understand why there have been so many prominent suicides by hanging: Bourdain, Michael Hutchence of INXS, Chris Connelly of Soundgarden, and quite a few more. When you make the decision to end your life by hanging, there’s only two ways it can go: you fail miserably i.e. the rope snaps, the knots aren’t tied properly... or you die. Even if you have second thoughts while you’re standing on the chair, once you drop, you’re dead even if you merely slipped. This is why hanging has been such a popular form of execution for hundreds and hundreds of years. It’s hard to screw it up. Unfortunately, when you’ve decided you no longer want to live, and you decide to hang yourself, it’s much easier to succeed in doing so… and for better or worse, I’m not sure that Neville or any of Bourdain’s friends interviewed have ever been to that point where they tried to hang themselves to really understand that. It’s minor and probably will be a non-issue to most seeing this movie, but having been at that point of hopelessness myself (probably for far different reasons than Bourdain), that bothered me a little. That sort of context would have helped people who watch the movie understand Bourdain's last moments.

Despite those issues, Roadrunner brilliantly captures the spirit and tone of Bourdain’s character as depicted on his various television series. That's why Roadrunner is a movie that mostly worked for me as a fan of Bourdain’s amazing writing and television work.

Focus continues to give its movies semi-wide releases, and this one is going pretty wide into 800 theaters, so it might be able to peek into the top 10, maybe?

Another movie coming to theaters is Michael Sarnoski’s PIG (NEON), starring Nicholas Cage as Robin Feld, a reclusive hermit of a man who once was a legendary Portland chef. He’s now living on his own in the middle of nowhere with his truffle-foraging pig, but one night, some people break in and steal the pig, thinking that it’s their path to fortunes. Robin isn’t having any of it, and he follows his pig’s trail to a fight club and then to the father of one of his main buyers (Alex Wolff).

Even though I’ve known about this movie for some time, I didn’t really know that much about it. Like man, I expected it to be a straight-up revenge action flick a bit like John Wick, but the only thing this has in common with that is that this as terrific a showcase for Cage as an actor as that was for Keanu Reeves. Spending much of the movie completely bedraggled and beaten-up, this is still a far more subdued performance for Cage than some might be expecting, and a slower and more subdued film with only a few moments achieving anything that could be considered “action.”

Even so, this is such a great vehicle for Cage, and Alex Wolff is also quite good, plus there’s a foodie aspect to the movie that should make it a great double feature with Roadrunner. It should be expected with so much of it involving truffles, which not many people outside of chefs and gourmands know much about

Some people might go into Pig with the wrong expectations of this being some sort of genre revenge flick, but it’s in fact a pretty solid character drama, truly showing off Cage’s terrific ability at creating character, so hopefully, it will find its audience even it might not be the one some might expect.

Rating: 7.5/10

Pig will actually open in a few hundred theaters nationwide so plenty of opportunities to see it that way.

Netflix has a duo of high-profile films this week, including the action-thriller GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE (Netflix), starring Karen Gillan and directed by Israreli filmmaker Navot Papushado (Big Bad Wolves). Gillan plays Sam, an assassin for a group called The Firm, a second generation assassin no less since her mother Scarlet (Lena Headey) was also an assassin. One day, she finds herself on the bad side of a crime lord whose son she killed (on a mission) and finds herself having to fight off dozens of killers as she tries to protect that man’s 9-year-old daughter Emily (Chloe Coleman).

I can’t believe how much I absolutely hated a good part of this movie, because I generally like Gillan and some of the others in this movie, but I don’t any of them are doing particularly good work. For instance, Paul Giamatti is in full-on scenery-chewing mode as head of the Firm, but there’s also a great trio of women known as the Librarians, played by Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino and Angela Bassett, who I wish were in the film more than they actually are, because they literally are the best part of the film. (I also was pretty disappointed by Coleman’s bland performance lacking any of the personality she showed in My Spy, in which she was very funny.)

Basically, it feels like this is another filmmaker who has seen Tarantino’s Kill BIll a few dozen times and thought they could do something just as cool. The fact that it’s so flagrant and obvious in its ripping that movie off, it’s almost impossible to fully enjoy it. What’s really missing is Tarantino’s knack for sharp writing, because the writing in this movie is just terrible.

I thought the score was probably the most interesting aspect of the movie, but even that was highly derivative of what Tarantino has done. Even the needle drop choices during the bigger action pieces feel too much like something Tarantino might do, but generally better.

Sure, there’s some cool action scenes, and the last act generally gets better once Headey and the Librarians rejoin the fray to fight off a cadre of henchmen, but the writing never improves, so it’s just a movie that relies on far too many “oooo… Cooooool!” moments that never really come together.

As much as Gunpowder Milkshake tries to be cool and stylish, it always feels like it’s trying too hard without understanding why movies like Tarantino’s and others work so well. Any of the bad-ass fight sequences are constantly marred as soon as there tries to be any sort of talking or story.

Rating: 5.5/10

The third part of the horror series based on R.L. Stine’s books, FEAR STREET PART 3: 1666 (Netflix), will hit the streamer on Friday, this one being a prequel to the previous two movies, taking place in 1666. I’m still behind on this series, but looking forward to a night where I can finally watch all three.

I definitely had more movies to watch than usual that I just didn’t get to include some of them like Martin WIlson’s directorial debut, the horror-thriller GREAT WHITE (RLJEfilms/Shudder), which stars Katrina Bowden and others, about a tourist trip that turns into a nightmare when five passengers on a sea plane get stranded miles from the shore and try to survive as they run out of supplies and run into, you guessed it, a shark. Sounds like my kind of movie, but I’ve just been swamped.

I was pretty tickled by the premise for Jean-Paul Salomé’s MAMA WEED (Brainstorm Media/Music Box Films), starring the wonderful Isabelle Hupert as Patience, a French-Arabic translator for the Paris anti-narcotics police unit who interprets calls between the city’s top drug dealers. She’s taking care of her aging mother and one day she hears the son of one of her mother’s nurses, so she tries to protect him but ends up with a huge cache of hash, so she becomes a drug dealer herself, becoming the persona of “Mama Weed.” Nominated for a César for its screenplay, the movie will open in select theaters this Friday and then be available On Demand on July 23.

Another doc of note is Aisling Chin-Yee and Chase Joynt’s NO ORDINARY MAN (Oscilloscope), which tells the story of American jazz musician Billy Tipton who had spent his entire career passing off as a man, unbeknownst to his wife and son that he was born female. It’s an intriguing story that unfortunately got mangled by the talk shows after Tipton’s death in 1989, but the filmmakers use an interesting way to tell the story rather than using talking heads. I haven’t actually watched it yet, but it sounds intriguing. It will open at the IFC Center in New York and the Landmark Nuart in L.A. on Friday.

Debuting on Hulu this week is the amazing six-part docuseries called MCCARTNEY 3, 2, 1 (Hulu), which as you can safely assume is about Beatles founder Paul McCartney, covering his sixty-year career as he talks with producer Rick Rubin in a studio filled with instruments and tapes of some of the great songs that Rubin mixes different elements up and down to discuss how they were done with McCartney. I generally love music docs, but this is something truly special that I expect to rewatch many times over the next few years.

Netflix also has a new docuseries called HEIST (Netflix) and is debuting a doc about tennis great, Naomi Osaka, this week. Meanwhile, the anthology prequel series, American Horror Stories, debuts on FX and FX on Hulu this week, as well, so it’s a pretty busy weekend, which was bound to happen after last week’s bye week.

Other movies out this week that I didn’t get to include:

Die in a Gunfight (Lionsgate) Out of Death (Vertical) Casanova, Last Love (Cohen Media) How to Deter a Robber

Next week, two more new movies, including the action prequel, SNAKE EYES, starring Henry Golding, and M. Night Shyamalan’s new thriller, OLD.