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slytherinauthor · 1 month ago

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Tom Riddle X YN: Part 2

Flashback:

After the breakup, you were not doing well at all. Falling into a slight depression. Tom was right, your life was boring and lonely. And Tom fixed that.

One night as you lay into your bed, restless and in thought. The soft hum of the wind rustling outside. You like to sleep with the natural sound of nature, so you always sleep with your window open.

As you let yourself fall asleep to the memories of your relationship with Tom, you can't shake this nagging feeling.

Someone's watching you...

That was months ago. You thought there would be more consequences after breaking up with him but there was none. He simply hadn't cared enough to speak to you again.

Eventually things seemed to turn around for you, you ended up getting a boyfriend, Cedric Diggory.

He was the perfect man on paper but for you, you never wanted that. He is type of man, who gives you all the stability you could desire. A sweetheart with a solid sense of morality. A good man.

Tom was never a good man. He was a murderer, a manipulator, a stalker... But he never once claimed to be. He took pride in being different and he did what he wanted.

So when Cedric asked you on a date, a couple months after the breakup. You realized maybe you needed a relationship with a good guy who you needed. Instead of the complexity that you desired.

Cedric was sweet, he bought you flowers once a week, planned cute dates, and always checked on you.

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend was the day you got your first letter. It was on the door...

Hello my dear,

Did you really think you can just move on from me this way. You and I both know he is not who you need. You need me and I need you too. Don't let your need for normalcy, ruin what we had. Take heed to this because next time, I'll be a lot more direct.

-TR

Tom was back but you were not going to let him control your life anymore. That was the only letter you had got for a while. So much you finally got accustomed to everyday life without him.

Life with Cedric was nice, too nice. Too routine. You missed the uncertainty, the ambition, but most of all the passion. That's what your current relationship lacked.

One night after a date with Cedric, you walk into your house and there are flowers and another note.

You sigh, knowingly because they had to be from Tom. Even though you changed your locks, he was still somehow able to get into your house.

With trembling fingers you pick up the note from the table and start reading.

My dear YN,

I see you are on a date with that new boyfriend of yours. It looks painfully, unmistakably boring. I thought I helped you get over that. I once told you that you were extraordinary and yet you settle for someone so average as Diggory. But don't worry, I will always look out for you. He got you red roses tonight because he thinks they are every girls favorite but they aren' t yours are they? You love beautiful yellow chrysanthemums. So I got them for you. Do you see how much I care now, my love?

-TR

You lean down to smell the flowers he had left, that were always in your go-to flower vase. These were your favorites and only Tom would remember such an insignificant detail like that.

After that night, you got a letter every day. They started to become the highlight of your day. Every time you would get home from work or hanging out with Cedric, a letter would always be waiting for you.

Some explicitly describing what he would do if he was there or how much he wants to kill Cedric for being able to breathe the same air as you.

But unlike before, Tom began to move or do subtle things around your house. Sometimes you would come home and your clothes were folded or your bed was made. And on the more extreme spectrum, he would take multiple pairs of your underwear. You could only imagine what he does with them.

He was more crazy than the last time.

The next day couple days, you were left on edge., thinking about the next note that you would receive.

One night, you lay in your bed thinking about Tom. His unrelentless passion, that leaves you wanting more. Even though you dumped him, he still wanted more.

If only he wasn't so crazy.

Every night that you have your window open, you can't help but think maybe he is in the woods watching you. Watching you sleep, watching you... pleasure yourself.

The last time you did, you received a note from Tom the next night.

Flashback:

Dear YN,

Do you think about me? I know you do. You are the most beautiful when you are rubbing your clit but yet your thoughts are filled with me. I watch you sometimes and read your mind. And all you think about is me. Why torture yourself baby? Don't you still want me?

-TR

That was last week, yet you weren't able to shake the feeling.

As you finally start to drift off, you hear glass break downstairs. Your eyes immediately open as you don't dare to move.

Someone was in your house and you knew who it might be. But Tom never made a mess like this before. Breaking glass was new for him.

You quietly get out of bed and grab the knife you keep in your bedside drawer as you creep down the stairs.

Once you reach the bottom step, you look around searching the area. You keep your steps light, careful not to make a sound.

You notice something on your kitchen table. Something blue that is bunched up. Albeit it being dark, it was still visible in the darkness. You walk up to it slowly and pick it up with shaky hands, revealing Cedric's shirt covered in blood.

This sent shivers down your spine. Tom was surely here.

"I am here, my dear." he says but you cannot see him.

"Tom, where are you? This isn't funny." your voice shakes with fear.

No, you weren't afraid of him but this made you nervous in anticipation.

"I killed him YN. With my bare hands. He thought he could steal my girlfriend," he rambles darkly.

You can hear his footsteps but you can't see him.

"Why did you break my window to get in here?" you ask, curiously. Walking around absentmindedly to find him

He hums for a second, "I needed your attention."

"I want to see you," you tell him.

You feel a presence behind you but you don't turn around. You were always so acutely aware that he was nearby. Almost like your hearts only started beating when you two were together.

"Turn around baby," he commands. His voice low and gravely in your ear.

You turn around slowly as you meet face to face with Tom.

He pulls you in by your waist, pulling your body flush against him.

"Tom, just stop." you say weakly.

You want him so badly but he is just such a psycho.

"You don't want that though. And I'm offended that you think I am crazy," his lips quirking up in a slight smile.

He strokes your hair at first and trails his fingers over your cheek, to your lips, down your neck.

"I missed you so much baby. Did you miss me," Tom asks lowly. You can feel the presence of his lips almost against yours.

"Yes... I did." you tell him the truth.

He captures your lips in a rough kiss, that leaves you wanting more. His grip on your waist doesn't waver as he presses you further against the counter.

You hardly have enough time to catch up with his kisses before he's trailing his lips down your neck. Sucking harshly on the area.

You gasp out at the painful but pleasureful sensation before he changes the side of your neck. He leaves dark marks on both sides of your neck as proof. Proof that no matter what you think, you are his and he is yours.

"Are you going to let me have you again? Will you be mine?" He locks eyes with you.

You hesitate and Tom looks away from you. He unbuttons his shirt off, one button at a time. Next, he reaches for his belt and takes it off.

"What are you doing," you ask him.

Tom says nothing before he grabs your wrist and bends you over the kitchen table.

He deftly pulls down your pajama shorts and this time you don't fight him. It has gone long enough and you can't further deny the inevitable fact that you missed him.

"Damn right, don't deny me anymore," he mumbles. More to himself rather than you.

He pulls down the rest of your bottoms and he roughly shoves his hand between your thighs. Feeling how wet you are from him.

"Tom come on. Just... please." you finally get out.

"Tell me you'll stay with me forever." He rubs his cock against your slicked folds. Pushing against but never in.

"Tom, I'll be yours forever," you pant.

You finally feel him enter you from behind. All of his length, stretching you to maximum capacity.

"Fuck," he mumbles, starting to move.

This whole moment seemed ethereal. He was finally back in your life again after you kicked him out. No matter what you seemed to do, he still wanted you.

"I always want you, my dear." he says deeply in your ear. Gripping your hips, pulling you against him. To make sure that you meet his thrusts with every single beat.

You moan as Tom picks his pace. You try to hold on to the table to try to brace yourself but it was no use.

Tom fucks you like a crazed man who is chasing to get whatever he can get his hands on.

"You feel so good. Am I making you feel good?"

You nod at his remarks, gradually getting lost in the intense pleasure.

"That's right whore. Only I can make you feel this way."

You instantaneously clench around him, causing him to groan in your ear.

His big hands grip your ass as his thrusts get out of rhythm and sloppy. You and him were both close.

"Can I cum, please," you say. Your voice strained from holding it.

"Yes, cum with me."

You finally let yourself go as Tom cums inside you, finally filling you up with his white essence. Tom never wasted time cumming inside of you. He was constantly breeding you in the past, to make sure you can get pregnant with his baby.

He pulls out of you slowly and turns you around. Hugging you.

"Thank you for giving me another chance, YN"

You nod as you lead him to your bedroom. As you both lay in your bed, you ask him. a question.

"Tom, do you know why I was never scared of you?"

His snap to yours, "I don't know. Because you find me hot."

"Did you think I was some naive girl living alone?" you ask him. He frowns at your comment.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I left my door open for you. Always. I was never afraid of you because I knew you were stalking me from the start." you explain

Even more confusion crosses his face, "how would you know that."

"Before you discovered me, I knew you. You were brilliant, Tom. So when you finally gained an interest, I made my schedule predictable so you could find me."

"I... I can't believe that you did that." A sadistic smile crosses his face.

You shrug, "Well I knew I loved you from the start"

He kisses you softly, "I love you too my stalker."

Turns out you too were meant to be. The reason you broke up with Tom, all that while ago was because you didn't realize he was that crazy. You may be crazy but he will always be way more crazier than you.

The End.

#tom riddle imagine #hogwarts houses #hogwarts oc #tom riddle #slytherin #x yn #imagine #fanfic

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charaunderwood · 16 days ago

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Hello!

My turn now! Kingdom hearts for the fandom ask game! :)

alright bitches let's gooooo

my favorite female character

gotta give that to my girl Namine!! shes my second favorite in the series for the angsty tragic vibes. Incase you can't tell by the character I've based my entire blog off of I really enjoy those vibes lmao. also she has the best hair out of everyone (I tend to be a huge sucker for blondes and the hair over the shoulder is just really cool)

my favorite male character

cmon. do I even need to answer this one? At this current moment, Vanitas might just be the most important fictional character to me personally of all time. which is honestly kind of embarrassing to say considering on the surface he's literally an edgy version of the main character but just everything about him and his story hits me so hard in a way I can't even describe right now. so yeah. it's Vanitas.

my favorite book/season/etc

like you said, since this is a game series I'll just put my favorite game here. I've only ever actually beaten KH1 (I'll get to the rest eventually don't judge me-) and I think just looking at the rest of the series that would have to be my favorite gameplay wise, tho of course I still don't have the best grasp on that lmao. but then story wise by favorite would have to go to BBS. but then as a meddling of both gameplay and story I think my favorite would have to go to KH3 so....idk. one of those three depending on the day.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

obviously it's not a tv show but I think this would be a fun place to ask "what's your favorite world?" so i'm gonna do that instead. so if we're including all worlds in the series it would have to go to KH1 Hollow Bastion no contest, but if we only include Disney worlds, I think I would have to give that one to Symphony of Sorcery in DDD.

my favorite cast member

so i'm just gonna say my favorite voice actor for this one and i think i'd have to give that to Jesse McCartney for his work as Roxas and Ven. I think the voice he gives them suits their design perfectly and I adore hearing the slight distinction in their voices, with Roxas's having a bit of a harder edge while Ven's is slightly higher and softer, it just really works to highlight their different personalities despite looking the same. I also love the energy that Haley Joel Osment always brings to Sora and Vanitas (although DDD Sora can be a bit rough to listen to at times and KH3 Vantias is uh...quite the divisive performance lmao)

my favorite ship

gotta go Soriku for that one, their dynamic is just so well fleshed out and cute for me to NOT adore it. although I just wanna say here that I think the dynamic between Sora and Namine is really underrated and a romantic dynamic between the two of them filled with angst and apologizing and all that jazz could be really interesting if written well. or hell even just some more stuff focusing on their platonic dynamic. just more of them in general please.

a character I'd die defending

obvioulsy would pick Vanitas here as I think a lot of his actions, while horrible, are very forgivable and defendable when given the full context. also I defend Ven a lot since people very often say he's an incredibly boring character and while I completely understand that since I think a lot of his really interesting potential is very underexplored at this point I'm also like booo! hiss!! spray bottle!!!! stay away from my son >:(

a character I just can't sympathize with

Ansem the Wise and fully grown old man Xehanort for that one. while I do think that people give ATW shit a bit too often and blame him for stuff that he technically shouldn't be blamed for, he was still a massive racist dickhead that ruined the lives of so many people around him for his own selfish reasons. plus, like many others, I really didn't like how when he came back in KH3 he just accepted the apology Ienzo gave him even though Ienzo really shouldn't be taking blame for the stuff that happened when he was still a literal fucking child but, whatever I guess. I also just don't really like the fact that he comes back from being dead after KH2 at all but that's a whole other conversation

and then for Xehanort, I'm sorry but the things he experienced in DR do not in the slightest excuse the horrific stuff that he does in the current times. I understand that the things he and Eraqus when through in Dark Road were extremely traumatic and it is fine for them to still be haunted by those things even into their 80s, but for Xehanort to still be enacting on that trauma well after 60 years later, yeah that's just unacceptable. Even though he has some valid points he is still harming the lives of children for no good reason and is possibly trying to destroy the world which is obviously awful. and that's not even taking into account all the other bad shit he does like possibly torturing people like Subject X for his experiments during his time as an apprentice and him abusing both Ven and Vanitas physically and emotionally to "make them stronger." also just to be clear, I have a hard time empathizing with Eraqus as well since his trauma from DR also does not excuse the shit he pulled in BBS, but I at least respect his ability to own up to his mistakes before he dies and when he comes back in KH3, even if I still think its bullshit that he didn't give Terra any sort of apology. (sorry for how long that one was good lord)

a character I grew to love

this might surprise the people but I actually wasn't the number 1 Vanitas fan right from the start. crazy I know but when I was first getting into the series I just thought he was okay. one of the better villains but just mediocre otherwise. but then one day he just.....clicked with me, and I really couldn't tell you why. he just did and now he's my favorite son :)))

my anti otp

so besides the creepy and uh...not legal ones, i'd say a sort of shipping hot take of mine is that I don't really like any romantic pair among the sea salt trio. I really do understand the appeal Roxas and Xion in a romantic light (and I am usually also a SUCKER for a blonde and black haired pairing) but they're just so sibling coded for me that I just can't get behind it.

anyway thanks for the ask!! sorry I probably yapped more than I needed to lmao <3

#kingdom hearts

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taegularities · 2 years ago

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Alright so first I wanna say I love CMI so fucking badly like AAAAAAH That story literally made my heart skip a beat so many times I've seriously lost count like wow girl your writing is so damn good sometimes..your heart skips a beat, sometimes you feel butterflies in the stomach and sometimes you literally feel that ache in the heart like 💘💘💘(the ache in ry was really treacherous) like I think if I will go on describing about how much I love your stories and writing then words won't be enough...I always feel that there is some freshness in your style of writing and stories that I was looking for a long long time so thank you so much for writing such beautiful stories and sharing them with us....I rarely write any review so sorry if I am blabbering too much but I can't help it....I really feel that whether or not you are writing BTS based fictions you will always be a great storyteller anyways...🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘

I wanted to tell you about a song named "URS" by NIKI and damn I feel like that song is written just for CMI and specifically from y/n's perspective like each and every line of that song is just screaming CMI...When I first listened to that song I instantly thought of CMI like you have to listen to it at least once...I am so damn obsessed with that song that I put that song on loop and read CMI ( I know it's a bit embarrassing like who does that 😅😅) but then I cannot stop thinking that this song is just the perfect OST for CMI at least for part 1 (you must be thinking I am crazy😇😇)

Sorry for this embarrassing shit but please do listen to that song once and let me know do you also think the same way

i honestly do not think you're embarrassing at all, i promise !! in fact, this is such a sweet ask, truly. oh my god, whenever someone mentions ruin you, my heart drops a little 💀 catapulted back to a time of utter pain </3 but i'm so happy you think of my writing like that. the freshness you mentioned? so so important to me, bc i try my best to deliver different stories with varying characters 🥺 and you weren't blabbering too much! could read that all day !!!

and i listened to the song by niki! AGAIN, IT'S NOT EMBARRASSING, it's so cute! those lines

When you kiss me do you wish it were her

nara?! :(

and

Now it's all guessing games I'm guessing every gaze

NOOO THAT'S SO TRUE. i'll add this song to the playlist !!! <3

ugh thank you so much. this is genuinely such a sweet message and i appreciate you :(((( <333

#another old one!#notes for rid 🌹#babybeartaehyungie #fic: colour me in

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mister13eyond · 2 years ago

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5 and 8 for either?

Since I answered these both for Vin, I'll answer them for Asphodel too! 5.) What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.)

Asphodel is unfortunately a frustration cryer, and they hate it. They're frequently anxious and can be easily frustrated with or by circumstances going wrong despite their best plans. This drives them insane because they're the type to try to rationalize everything and make sense of everything, and it drives them insane when their mind is working through something but their body won't stop making these stupid tears while they're trying to think.

That's why last time they cried was over something minor but deeply obnoxious; they had ruined one of their old but incredibly well-loved and sentimental items (a silver-handled mirror) and in trying to fix it had wound up breaking it worse. The thing that irritated them worst about it was that the more they tried to fix it, the more they messed it up, and their increasing frantic attempts to undo the last mistake they just made wound up bringing them to tears.

They know themself well enough to know at that point, they simply have to step back, let themself cry it out and come back to it later. They're fairly private and don't like to talk about things until they've had time to think it out, so they prefer to go somewhere private and let the waterworks happen and then come back when they feel better.

(And they did! They realized that even if the glass was unsalvageable, the silver handle could still be used for something else, and they wound up using it as decor.)

8.) Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

Asphodel has the larger of the two rooms in theirs and Vin's apartment, because they had far more furniture when they moved in, and because they had previously been in a small studio apartment with nearly no space for their possessions and so Vin was happy to concede the larger room in exchange for them helping to fill the living room and kitchen, which were nearly bare when he moved in. They have a small vanity which mostly has hair products, pins, clips, styling tools, et cetera. They don't really wear much makeup, but they have a lot of hair, and in order to keep it healthy and maintained they need a lot of care to it.

The largest part of their room is bookshelves; they try to destash and donate or resell any older books that they haven't touched in a while and keep a manageable collection, but their idea of manageable is probably most people's 'excessive'. They try to have no more than two full bookshelves' worth, and try to roughly split that between fiction and nonfiction, but they tend to impulse buy things based solely on interest in the cover or title, and so they wind up with several small stacks tucked between the two shelves where things have begun to overflow.

Their bed is an old wooden bedframe that is both serviceable and also a little worn; it's sturdy, but it's seen better days and probably needs to be sanded and re-varnishes. They have an excessive amount of blankets and pillows, as they are the type to lay on the bed while they read and so they have quite a lot of bedding that's for propping up on or lounging against. They have some cute, themed decor- a cute lamp, a few framed pieces of art, a matching duvet set and rug that all fit in the same color theme.

They do not have as much laundry as Vin, but that's because a lot of their clothing is made of natural materials and simply isn't meant to be washed with the same frequency or process as Vin's is. They have a lot of real wool items especially, which they tend to hand wash and hang dry instead of running them through the washing machine. They try not to let more than a single basket of clothing build up at a time, since this takes so long, so they're fairly on top of it. They're always rolling their eyes when Vin has to do his fortnightly "i ran out of underwear" wash and has to run the washer and dryer nonstop while he's trying to purge all the laundry from his room.

ALSO i didn't realize this wasn't in the ask and wound up answering it too, so have a bonus 10 for Asphodel as well!

10.) What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.)

Since Asphodel makes and modifies a lot of their own clothing (they're excellent with a sewing machine), they're the type to add absurd amounts of secret pockets in their clothing. They always try to have at least enough pocket space to hold a wallet, a phone, housekeys and a small makeup bag in. (Their wallet is leather and they've had it so long that the edges have worn soft; they keep nothing but their (current)(human) ID, one bank card, and around $25 cash in at all times.) (Their phone is an iPhone 5; Vin cannot convince them to get another one. If they had their choice, they'd still be using a land line. They use it exclusively for phone calls and texts. They have one app besides that, which is a word scramble game that they play when they're stuck in line or on public transport.) (Their keys to their and Vin's apartment have a holy talisman of theirs as a keychain. It's just a little safekeeping. They scarcely need to use it. But it's reassuring to have something of a ward of protection on their keys.) (Their makeup bag contains chapstick, concealer, a brow pencil, a small compact of powder foundation, and a small travel sized perfume bottle that actually contains holy water.)

#my oc #my ocs #asphodel #headcanons #my writing

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trickstertox · 2 months ago

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Hi Toxxxxx your staring worked because I'm here to ask you your comfort character! So 1!!

Hiiiiiii Ranchhhhh. This took me... Three or so hours to write? A long time, regardless. Enjoyyyyy. <3 (/p)

Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

It depends on any given day! I have a good mix of OCs and media characters that bring me joy and love and safety. I'll start with media characters, and then go into OCs. I'm very Normal about my own OCs, m'kay? Let's see, who first...

Chayanne and Tallulah from QSMP. All the eggs make me happy, they're all very interesting and cute, but these two bring me comfort. I see myself in both of them. Growing up I was always trying to protect other people, and holding my emotions in, and blaming myself for everything and anything because I was supposed to be the one looking out for everyone. But I was a kid, like Chayanne, and while I have an older sibling, I was usually the oldest in my friend groups, or one of the oldest, except for one time when I was the youngest. Even though my sister is much older than me, I always felt this need to protect her. Chayanne is the one that takes all the blame, and protects everyone, and the oldest egg, and he's a kid. He also gradually starts opening up, and tries to understand and relate to others, and he's not perfect, but he tries. He's a better listener, but he tries to talk about himself, and gods that's me. I listened, I tried to understand, I didn't speak up. I still don't speak up, but I do more than I ever did growing up. I ask for things now and then, but still get the "Oh he doesn't mind if less effort is put in" every now and then, but I'm trying to voice how wrong it is. I like when I'm considered and not dismissed, even if it's not intentionally malicious! It's something boys and men get treated like and it's not fair. Eating off the cutting board is different from not wanting to ruin a shirt, you know what I mean?

And I haven't gotten to talking about Tallulah! Do you know what it's like to see this little egg grow up with a dad who made promises he never kept? But you put your whole heart into keeping up your side of the bargain? Yeah. And I don't want him erased from her story because then her story doesn't make sense! She grows as a person from holding out hope for someone who only ever lets her down to seeing she has everything she would ever need and want right in front of her (the love and support of Phil and everyone else). Every now and then she gets upset because she doesn't have what she wants, but she's a little kid, you can't fault her for that. The fact she even gives up eventually is a miracle, and I'm proud of her. My dad was never absent, but he still fucked over my life. I live every day hoping I never end up like him, and try my damnedest to not be. I have everything I could ever need and want in my mom and friends, and even aunts and uncles. There's also the fact she's often described as dramatic when she isn't, she feels very strongly and expresses it. I was always described as overdramatic, and at first I was okay with it because it was when I was being sassy and having fun. But it quickly turns to hurtful when you ask for bandaids on paper cuts and have your feelings hurt, especially when it's years and years of being told it. I don't even consider myself as feeling strongly, but I must if it makes everyone say I'm overreacting. So I feel for her when others don't get that she's not acting, she really does feel the way she does, and I'm glad she has at least one person who understands that; someone she can be genuine and silly with.

Another thing more general about the eggs is the fact they communicate explicitly through body language, signs, and books. It gives me hope that so many people can love these characters that write and move to talk, as someone with an unreliable voice. I learned how to speak a bit late, and I don't know if that played a part in it, but I stammer. I trip over words, even common ones. When I speak too fast, I slip back into "d" for "th," something my elementary school tried to fix. Talking can be tiring because I get caught in a loop of trying to say just one word, and just can't, so I give up. I do talk just fine a lot, but once it starts, it's game over. Others may try to say it's a social thing, but it isn't. It's not like being too nervous to speak up, it's your mouth not doing words right. It's much easier to type than it is to speak, but not enough people read when in a voice call, especially when there's more than, like, three or four people. I get left in the dust, like when everyone is talking and an egg places a sign that gets unintentionally ignored as everyone moves on to another place.

Uhhh. I don't actually find comfort in too many characters from media. I have favourite characters and whatnot, but nothing quite, like, bringing me comfort, if that makes sense. I mean, there are characters that make me feel happy and safe, but I don't have the ability to ramble about them like I did above. So I'll just list these other characters:

Slimecicle in QSMP; for some reason.

Philza in QSMP; birdman make brain brrr.

PuppyCat from Bee & PuppyCat; I don't know where to begin with objectively cute animal that wants to be taken seriously, and that whole space princess and outlaw story. Also just the general colour palette and art style of the series is very soothing.

Brainiac-5 from Supergirl; I'm just going to gesture to the multiple versions of Brainiac-5 and the different appearances be takes on, in general, and hope you get it.

Emmet and Benny from The Lego Movie series; You don't know me if I've never been like Benny in your presence.

Diesel from Robots; Oh look, another character with an unreliable voice, but considered a treasured friend.

Dr. Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds; Take a look at this intelligent and troubled man.

June Egbert from Homestuck; I never actually finished reading, and maybe good I didn't? Anyway, here we are.

I didn't include everyone because I should go back through and remove characters. But guess what? It's time for my OCs. I find more comfort in my own characters than already existing ones probably because I made them. I can dictate what they go through and have it be true or headcanon or AU. And intentionally or not, pieces of yourself end up in your characters, because you try to make them real, and that means applying things that come from you, even if it's subverting (ex. I have a fear of bugs, but have characters who absolutely love bugs, to try to get over my fear). I feel like it's less putting yourself into a character in terms of personality and appearance, and more of how you feel about the character. People can tell when you love a character or if you don't really care for them. So here are the characters that I made and find solace in, even if that's won't why I made them.

Beau is a character I made when I was 17-18. I've been reworking his story, and I told you all about him and Hercules in DMs! Their friendship means everything to me. They're very good for each other and I love their friendship. <3

Now for miscellaneous comfort OCs:

Autumn; cat anthro; They're just really cute and give me Grian vibes for no real reason. The red sweater and orange cat with long dot eyes is him to me. They're not meant to be, just coincidentally happened that way.

Tommy aka Beloved Son; Furby furry; He's my son! My boy! He's pale yellow and white, and one of my favourite colours is yellow. I love my angry son.

Oliver; canine-dino anthro & feral; He has soft colours that are nice to look at, and generally very cute. For when I want a cute character or dino-centric character. Generally just makes me happy.

Stevie; rat anthro; Sometimes you feel like a heartless villain, and need a way to feel okay about your negative feelings because you're not.

Wandering Comet; draconic goat anthro; Ey're my beloved little guy living in a lighthouse and telescope. Not much else to say, just look at em.

#TricksterTox #Tox Talks #Tox Answers #Tox's OCs #Tox's OC Beau #Tox's OC Hercules #Tox's Fursonas #Tox's fursona Autumn #Tox's fursona Tommy #Tox's fursona Oliver #Tox's fursona Stevie #Tox's fursona Wandering Comet #Long Post

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noircartoons · 1 year ago

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hi! 25 and 8 for the flirty ask! 😊

hii!! thanks for the ask, i was trying to find the same game on your blog to send you an ask back but there were so many rbs i assumed you werent doing it anymore :( tho if you are, then 8 and 25 back to you because theyre super cute!

8: what’s something romantic you wish someone would do for you?

Nô- cut roses from a rich person's garden to give them to me, or a date where we're both doing grafitti art in a hidden corner all alone and we're laughing at how shaky our lines are and how much we suck at grafitti

Efêmero- Love letters❣️❣️ Scented love letters with flower petals inside the envelope, always arriving on my mail box in the same day of the week so i have a day to look foward to the most...

Crow- going to a ruin in the middle of the woods together and exploring it. or being gifted a small black vintage lock box with a lock of your hair and some of your teeth inside.

Pierre- learning to dance together so we can always dance anywhere that has music and steal the show

Ofélia- ...Being gifted something that reminds you of me.

25: vague about someone you like romantically or platonically

Nô- its easy for people like me to lie to themselves, saying they're a predatory animal, looking for a prey to bite. what a ridiculous lie. to feel so fragile and weak within your human flesh that you escape to this humancentric notion of what the nature is like. i wont say i know it myself. but i know what i am. i was a scared animal that bit everything it thought was a treat. i was shaking and whining and growling. you, you were the only one to make me feel safe. when i bit you, you found not betrayal but pleasure. i learned to use my claws and fangs to love you. i learned to keep my head high to look at you in the eye. you think im hard to impress, you think so highly of me...im the one who should be trying to impress you. i can only hope to do my words justice and bring as much safety to others as you brought me

Efêmero- Romance, Platonic love, all of it feels like it looses meaning in front of you. I've been told the importance of words, i've been even told my importance was in the way i used my words. I don't think they're as relevant as they're made out to be. No, i could describe you and my feelings for you with a thousand different words in a thousand languages and hope they will suffice. I can buy a beautiful ring to put on your finger and hope it will suffice, to show others what i feel for you. To show you what i feel for you. At the end, i can see, how little any of this matters. I'll bring your hand to my chest, and make silence so you can hear the beating of my heart. Does that suffice as a poem to you?

Pierre- someone that can't be described with words. when i'm by your side, feeling the wind hit my face sharply and hearing you say one of the words in portuguese i taught you, i feel more alive than i have ever felt.

Crow- hair golden like it holds the sunrise all to itself, watercolor eyes like the home of the wind that carries birds and leaves, a laugh that could make one forget of all that is rotten in this world, a soul that holds more colors than my box of paints, yet holds a pain that speaks to me. it hums a melody so familiar, a silent cry of a child that i've seen in the eyes of so many adults i've met. for them, i will talk, for them, i will laugh, for them, i'll set them free.

Ofélia- The wine that pours on my cup reminds me of the sea we've bathed in together in my dreams, though you will never see me. Grasshoppers bring the sound of the night, they fill in the silence that would be filled with your laughs or your moans, their sound is agonizing enough to make me want to rip my ears. The moon shines the same color of your soul, but it is too fragile for someone as rotten as me to hold. Let the smoke of my cigarette fill the night with a deep fog, it is better if you never see me, my love, that way i will never hurt you.

#pierre.txt #ask

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jenrecs · 2 years ago

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good lord this whole chapter was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish

You work in your room, sitting at your desk, your bedroom door wide open. You’re kind of working, kind of watching water rush down the road below the apartment. It’s well after dinner, pitch black outside, but the streetlights illuminate the flow as the rainwater moves along beneath you. You’re having trouble focusing because of the rain - it lulls you to sleep, tricks you into thinking it’s bedtime. You can’t remember ever seeing rain like this, and the sound is all-encompassing, like you could wrap yourself up and exist within it.

i loved this !! the setting was so nicely described and you always have a way of making characters and the atmosphere interact with each other throughout a scene and it is beautiful !!!!!

Heedless and willful, you jump, crossing the space in a single stride. Namjoon’s hands coming to your waist like he was waiting for you.

OKAY. I TOLD U I DID NOT EXPECT THERE'D BE SPICE IN THIS CHAPTER. IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS but i am definitely not complaining !

the entire smoot?? insaneeeeeee. after reading your fics by order of release date, from CF to WWH and now to MFFMHH, i love seeing how it increasingly gets more descriptive and frankly, life ruining 🤗 but i am so here for it. horndawg jo era ?? 🤭

anywho... HE KEPT CALLING HER BABY?? mister kim namjoon you and your damn mouth 😭 dimples you are full of surprises lately

Namjoon hovers near your bed, clearly unsure if he should head to his own side of the apartment or not.

this was so cute !! y'all boned twice but at the end of the day he's still an awkward and gentle giant. love that for him

Like something inside you knew, long before you did, that whatever was between you was dead before it started.

Like something inside you knew that no matter how many words you devoted to him, you could never breathe life into it.

ok i hate you so much for these lines cuz they're so good i'll be thinking about them for the rest of the day. i had to clench my fists and try not to screech cuz of how brilliant they are

“I love you, Tete,” you tell him, and it’s the first time you’ve said it to him without feeling like you’re hiding layers, slipping secrets between the vowels. “I’m right here. I promise.”

weak every time she calls him tete. oh tete my tete :(((((((((

“What?” you ask. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He doesn’t answer, just leans down to kiss you sweetly, his thumb stroking your jaw whisper-soft.

their whole date!!!! they are made for each other!!!! god that day was so soft and i was so in love with them being in love and it was so nice to see them be out and about and just vibe with each other all day long without having to hide from anything or anyone and it was so devastatingly fluffy that i completely forgot that something bad was gonna happen

“I texted the wrong group chat…” he says quietly, still sounding horrified. “Fuck, I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I thought it was the one with only Yoongi and Hobi…”

ah yes. the Something Bad. i told u i screeched and i'll say it again here. I SCREECHED. thank god my roommate wasn't home to hear the inhuman noise i let out. NAMJOOOOOOON 😭 god i didn't think that it'd get out like this. in front of the whole gc???? GOD.

You watch it cross his face as he decides to make you prove it, but you don’t have enough time to react before he’s doing the thing you’d day-dreamed of time after time after time - before you knew Namjoon. He’s closing the gap between you, his hand curling in the fabric of your jacket, his lips finding yours, searching for something that three months ago he probably would have found.

UHM OKAY SO. I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS THE THING THAT PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING ABOUT EITHER. you have bested me, jo. i never saw this coming. i thought he'd say something dumb and harsh and hurt her feelings but GODDDDDDDDD I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D KISS HER. good lord. that was definitely 100 times worse than anything he could've possibly said. but fuck?? the line that i bolded???? so good what the foooooook???

but yeah i mean, should he have done that? no. was that a dick move? yes tete. but do i hate him?? honestly no. i did still scream "WHY WOULD U DO THAT" and bawled when it happened and i do understand why people would want him to fall off the face of the earth BUT! we know that he's hurt?? and shocked, and confused, and it probably wasn't the greatest feeling to learn that your supposed best friend is kinda dating one of your friends and you only found out bc of an accidental text to a gc with all of your other friends. especially when everybody else kinda knows that said best friend is in love with u so idk it probably did some damage to his ego too

again, tete, dick move! and yeah it did blow up in everyone's faces and effectively killed their friendship but like... he's HURT and CONFUSED. yes, we know how important their friendship is to her and how it's one of the few things (if not the only one) getting her through everything that's happened and it sucks for her if it goes up in flames, but ofc the friendship means a lot to him too. he's not malicious or anything. he gets affected by this change in their dynamic too. he's used to being a priority for her (which isn't necessarily a bad thing imo), used to knowing everything that goes on in her life but now suddenly the rug is pulled out from underneath him and i guess i could see that he was spiraling a bit. grasping at straws, trying to do whatever to make their relationship go back to the way it was. she's not the only one who doesn't know what to do with this new reality. he has to deal with it too 🤷‍♀️

He stumbles away from the window, trying to get away from it, but the image burns in his brain. He makes his way blindly back towards his bedroom. His heart pounds, and he finds himself nauseous, his eyes suddenly burning like he’s walked through smoke.

but ngl i'm glad i read it this week cuz if i had to wait to see what happens next i think i would probably die 😭

IX. Heedless and Willful || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love.

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

Things accelerate between you and Namjoon, but complications linger.

Section Warnings: language, kissing, groping, breast play/nip stim, fingering, protected sex, penetrative sex, multiple orgasms (f. receiving), multiple rounds

WC: 8k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Saturday December 1st

The weekend brings with it a deluge of rain, a slow-moving weather system that has the streets holding inches of water, the road-side drains overflowing.

You stay inside all day, and so does Namjoon, but you largely orbit around each other, working on your own things, leaving the other alone.

Things had accelerated so suddenly between you that now you feel like you had slammed on a brake, inertia carrying you to teeter dangerously over an edge. You’re not sure if Namjoon is feeling the same way, but you think it’s probable.

You kind of want to tip over the edge, is the thing.

You’ve just given up on focusing and closed your laptop for the night when there’s suddenly a huge boom from outside, loud and close enough that the floor shakes beneath your feet, and everything goes black around you. You scream, startled, and jump to your feet, knocking your desk chair over behind you with a loud clatter. That startles you a second time, and you scream again, clutching at your chest and backing yourself against your bedroom wall, heart pounding.

Across the apartment, Namjoon shouts your name, his voice deep and commanding, clearly alarmed.

The dark presses in around you, little fingers on your ankles and arms. You can’t see anything - not your bed, not the chair on the floor, not your hand in front of your own face. The silence is suddenly so loud it throbs around you - the sudden lack of normal noise toying with your senses. You’ve never been in quiet like this - no hum from the refrigerator, the central air system, your devices. All you can hear is your heartbeat pulsing in your ears, the angry, relentless sound of rain, and the echo of Namjoon’s voice calling your name, playing back and looping through your mind so loudly that it’s almost like you’re hearing it again.

You are hearing it again - his alarmed voice cuts through the darkness, calling your name with a little bit of an edge, a tinge of fear this time.

“I’m here,” you manage, your voice coming out like a gasp.

From the living room, you can see a small point of light coming rapidly closer, and then Namjoon appears in your doorway, guided by his cell phone’s flashlight. He seems a little out of breath as he pauses in the doorway, taking in the scene before him - you pressed against the wall, a hand still pressed to your racing heart, the chair askew on the floor, the rain pelting the window like it wants to break the glass.

Once he can see that you’re unharmed, Namjoon clicks his phone off, and you both let your eyes adjust. In the dark, everything various shades of black, his shape seems so large, taking up so much of your vision. He steps around the chair, not bothering to right it, and stops about two feet from you.

“I think a transformer blew out there,” he says, his voice odd, like most of his brain isn’t even aware that he’s speaking.

Two feet from him, your hands itch to reach out and touch him. Your feet beg to close the space between you. Your heart continues to throw itself against your ribcage, furious and demanding to be heard. The darkness takes its tiny fingers off your limbs, presses guiding fingertips to your back instead, nudging you forward.

If you’re going over the edge anyway, isn’t it better to jump than to fall?

Two feet from him, in the most profound darkness and silence you’ve ever experienced in your life, you find yourself nearly gasping for each breath as you fight your body’s every urge.

A line of St. Vincent Millay’s poetry leaps into your head, unbidden:

in me alone survive the unregenerate passions of a day when treacherous queens, with death upon the tread heedless and willful, took their knights to bed

Heedless and willful, you jump, crossing the space in a single stride. Namjoon’s hands coming to your waist like he was waiting for you.

He can kiss you only for a moment before he’s interrupted by you tugging his shirt up; he breaks away from you to pull it the rest of the way off and tosses it behind him, coming back to attach his mouth to your neck, sucking and kissing a line down to your collarbone. You run your hands along his chest, over his pecs, down his stomach, up his sides, your head thrown back to make room for him as he nips and soothes at your throat.

He groans happily as you dip your fingers towards the waistband of his jeans, then tugs bossily at your own shirt. You peel it off, dropping it to your feet, and move to kiss him again, but he’s busy reaching around your back and deftly pinching the clasp of your bra. It falls away, and you shake the straps loose from your arms, hearing it hit the ground. Cold air assaults your chest only a second before Namjoon’s large hands cup you, his mouth searing against yours out of nowhere.

Everything’s heightened in this total dark, total silence. You can hear every hitch of his breath, the thud of your own pulse, can feel every tiny movement of his hands, of his mouth. He toys lightly with your nipples, running his fingers in circles around them before plucking at them lightly, then abandoning your chest to run his hands over all the newly uncovered skin - your stomach, your back, your arms.

“You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs against your mouth. “I’ve thought so the whole fucking time, you’re so fucking gorgeous, I can’t think straight sometimes.”

“Namjoon,” you gasp quietly, half a reaction to his words and half a reaction to him gripping the waistband of your joggers and pulling them down over your ass in one motion. You kick them off and he walks you backwards to your bed, pushing at your shoulders until you fall backwards. You hear his zipper as he removes his jeans, and when he climbs up next to you on the bed you can feel but not see him straining against his boxer-briefs.

He brings his mouth to a nipple without warning, giving it one experimental lick and taking it between his lips when you whine in appreciation. You can feel yourself getting impossibly wet as he alternates licking and sucking, and his spare hand rubs circles down your body until he reaches the lace edge of your underwear, and he pauses. It’s the first time tonight he’s shown any hesitation.

He removes his mouth from your breast and moves back up where he can kiss you. His fingers skim the lace, a ghost of a touch, barely there.

“You good, baby?” he murmurs, so low, and you feel yourself clench - over the timbre of his voice or his cocky use of the pet name, you’re not sure. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “Touch me. Please.”

It’s wild how dark it is, how you can’t see anything on his face, can’t see which way he’s moving; the dark seems like it’s pressing in around you, like it’s the very thing shielding you from the onslaught of rain that you can still hear loud and clear.

Namjoon’s fingers skim over your slit so lightly it almost tickles, and you squirm, needing more. He presses harder on his second pass through, pressing the lace against your entrance. He moans when he feels how wet you are even through your panties, pressing himself harder against your leg as he swipes his fingers through again. Then he’s hooking his thumbs under the waistband and pulling your panties down your legs, cupping your sex with his whole hand.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers hoarsely, and presses his middle finger into your heat up to the last knuckle. You suck in a breath, fingers curling in your bedspread, as he fucks you that way - middle finger only - for the barest of minutes before adding a second digit.

“God,” you groan, feeling yourself stretch to accommodate it. “Damn it.”

“Yeah?” he murmurs. “You’re so wet, what the fuck.” He’s right - you can hear it each time he pushes back into you. Your back arches, your body trying to press his fingers even deeper. When his thumb grazes your clit, you gasp out loud.

He swallows the rest of your noises with a kiss as he continues, and when the crest of your orgasm snaps a few minutes later you moan messily into his mouth as his fingers fuck you through it, steady and unyielding.

“Holy shit,” he groans when you clench around his fingers as the waves hit you. “That’s right, baby, fuck.”

You’re reaching for his briefs the second you’re back in your body, down from your high, and he pulls his fingers from you gently to help wiggle them over his hips and off his body. You slide your hand over him lightly and he hisses through his teeth as you wrap your fingers around him and rub him base to tip, sliding your palm over the wet head of his cock, using his own pre-cum to slick up your hand as you continue.

He’s hot in your hand, bigger than you’d expected, and you revel in listening to his light moans turn breathy as you toy with him. Finally, he grabs your wrist, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

“Should I go get a condom?” he asks, voice so low it’s almost a growl.

“I have some,” you tell him, rolling away from him and sliding your nightstand drawer open. You lay on your stomach so you can use both hands to rip a new one from the strip, and Namjoon rises to his knees behind you, one hand tracing the curve of your ass.

You reach over your shoulder to hand him the foil packet, and you’re startled by his phone light again when he turns it on so he can see what he’s doing. His phone lays on the bed, illuminating him from below, and you take a minute to take in how good he looks. You’d had no idea he had that body under his sweaters and baggy t-shirts.

He turns the light off again, the darkness surprising you with its intensity all over again. Your eyes are so busy trying to adjust again that you miss him moving until you feel his hands guiding you to lay back, his legs stretching between yours, his tip prodding your entrance as his lips find yours again.

“You’re okay?” he checks in a whisper, reaching down and squeezing himself at the base.

You kiss him in answer, pressing your core against him, letting your body tell him yes, I’m fine, yes, I’m ready.

He rocks into you slowly, an inch at a time, and the sensation tears a low, long groan from you. It mingles with his own; he breathes through his mouth in short pants, tinged with half-formed moans, until he bottoms out and he stills.

“Give me just a second,” you request, whispering, and he nods, running a hand reverently down your face, down your side, coming to rest under your ass, hitching you up slightly as he adjusts. You hiss as the movement forces him just a touch deeper as you struggle to relax.

He kisses you again, deeply and sweetly, and as you grip his shoulders and feel yourself relax, you start to move, little bits at a time.

“Okay,” you whisper, when you’re ready. “Thanks.”

He scoffs, like it’s ridiculous of you to be thanking him, but he starts to move. It’s slow, and even though you can barely see him you get the feeling that his eyes are on you. In the amplified silence, each breath seems to echo between you, each tiny moan or hitch of breath coming through loud and clear. You kiss sloppily, your hands exploring as he keeps the slow rhythm. His cockhead drags against you, the feeling agonizingly sweet, and you arch against him, trying to bring him closer.

The rain beats against the windows in waves as he fucks you slowly, like it wants in, like it has a score to settle. You press fingertips gently to Namjoon’s face, blindly feeling your way to the flat of his cheekbone, down to his jaw. Everything feels so intense, your fingers shake a little as they trace his jawline, reverent.

“Namjoon,” you whisper, and he answers you by sheathing himself completely, pressing his mouth to yours, and doubling the pace. He’s so large, it feels like he’s everywhere - inside you, around you, above you, everywhere.

You cry out when he finds an angle that has you seeing stars with each stroke, and he grunts, working hard to keep hitting it the same way. You lock your legs around the back of his thighs, trying to keep him close. You cling to his shoulder with one hand and tangle the other in his hair, holding tight as he pounds into you. When he feels you start to pulse around him, the beginning of an orgasm starting to build up, he actually laughs, once.

“Close, baby?” he asks, reaching down to press his thumb against your clit.

“Y-yeah,” you gasp, the feeling of electricity racing clear down to your toes. “Joon, please, oh - god -.”

He hums, pleased, and shifts you so he’s holding you up by the hips, the angle changing just slightly.

“Ohmygod, yes,” you cry, and the circles he’s been rubbing into your clit suddenly send you flying, your eyes screwing shut, a single, wordless wail leaving you as every muscle in your body goes taut.

“Fuck,” Namjoon hisses as you squeeze around him, dropping his forehead onto yours and gasping your name as he spills into the condom inside you. He pumps into you a few more times as your muscles relax by degrees, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple.

You lay tangled together for a few minutes, both breathing hard. Namjoon slips out of you gingerly and shifts like he’s going to get up. You kiss him quickly, before he can get too far, and he stills, letting you.

When you’re content, he disappears into the bathroom, dealing with the condom and cleaning up. He returns with a damp cloth for you, turning the light on his phone back off again when you’re done.

In the total darkness, he pulls you close. You rest your head against his chest, his arms around you, and listen to his heart. Despite the storm and the power-outage, you’ve never felt so safe. You can’t imagine ever feeling anything else while he’s wrapped around you like this.

“You called me baby,” you tease after a little while, and he snickers.

“It just slips out,” he laments, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “Sex makes me… affectionate. I have trouble untangling the two.”

You hum against him. “I think I like that,” you observe, and he hugs you a little tighter.

You’re starting to drift off when he says your name again.

“Hm?”

“I promise this isn’t the post-sex chemicals talking,” he says carefully. “But I wanted you to know. I think… I’m really falling for you.”

You press your lips together, wrap an arm around his middle and hold him close. Your chest feels like it’s caving in, your eyes suddenly burn, you can’t inhale.

Because you’ve felt it, too. And you don’t know what to do with it.

He takes your silence the wrong way. “You don’t have to - don’t feel pressure to say anything -.”

“No,” you say quickly. “I promise, it’s very much not that. I’ve… maybe been thinking the same thing. It’s just… scary. You know?”

He presses his lips to the top of your head. “Yeah,” he says. “It can be. But I’m here. We’re in it together, okay?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, tangling your feet in his legs, searching for a warm spot for your chilly toes. “Okay.”

Sunday December 2nd

The lights come on hours before dawn, your lamp illuminating the room in a yellow glow, your laptop dinging as it starts to receive charge again, your alarm clock numbers flashing 12:00 over and over again. You lay there, still, coming to your senses by degrees.

Namjoon is still in bed with you; you can feel his body, warm and solid, behind you. Minutes pass and it becomes clear by his steady deep breathing that the lights aren’t going to wake him up. You roll slowly, trying not to disturb him. He’s sleeping on his back, his face turned away from you, one arm flung up over his head. You feel yourself smile as you look at him.

There’s not a doubt in your mind that you want this, that you want him - wholly, completely, without boundaries or limitations. There’s not a doubt in your mind that the way he treats you - the way he gives you such openness and understanding, the way he listens and asks questions, the way he hears you and cares for you - is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. When you’re with him, you feel like he’s by your side, like he’s got you.

And while Taehyung had been physically next to you for the last seventeen or so years of your life, it’s never felt like this.

You scoot closer, lining your body up against his side, and reach an arm over his stomach, pulling yourself as tight to him as you can and laying your head on his chest. In his sleep, he shifts, sensing the difference, the arm that was over his head coming down over your back and pulling you in. Then his head lolls back to your side, his eyelids fluttering. He reaches to press a kiss to the top of your head, and then flops back down against your pillow.

“Lights’re back?” he tries to ask, the words slurring together with sleep.

“Mhm,” you answer. “Do you want me to get up and turn the lamp off?”

“No,” he says, voice low and scratchy. “Stay.” Then he reaches over, guiding your chin up gently so he can lean down and kiss you again.

You open for him immediately, leaning up on an elbow to reach him better. It’s different this time - slow and sensual, explorative, relaxed. There’s no rush, no pressure for it to go further. His fingers run through your hair once, twice, then release it, skimming down your bare back instead. You realize with a shiver that you hadn’t gotten up to find pajamas in the dark.

He keeps you warm anyway, his hands roaming your back, your arms, your ass, your back again. You have a lot of things you want to tell him, but you save them, store them for later, as your body responds to his touch and you give yourself to him again. When he pants your name against your lips you feel the words bubbling up inside you, beating against doors to be let out, but you lose them along with your senses when he tips you over the edge again.

You clean up better after this time, waddling to the bathroom to pee and then stopping at your dresser to pull out pajamas. Namjoon hovers near your bed, clearly unsure if he should head to his own side of the apartment or not.

You scoff at him, like he should know better. “Get back in that bed,” you demand teasingly, and he listens, running a hand through his messy hair and looking around like he’s a little dazed, a little unsure of how he got here.

You click the lamp off and make your way back to him.

He wraps his arms around you immediately, and you eventually fall asleep matching your breaths to his slow ones.

Wednesday December 5th

I know my many failings I just can’t be the girl I should But I hope you know despite this In my life, you’re everything good

It’s certainly not good writing, and you have zero intention of turning this in for anything - zero intention of another living soul ever seeing it. But it feels good to put the words to paper.

You close the notebook when Gloria and another girl from class join your table. You’ve been assigned the task of workshopping your classmates’ portfolios as the semester crawls to a close, and today you’re meant to sit around and talk through your notes with each other.

“I want to go first,” you say immediately. “Gloria, you are out of your mind.”

Gloria beams, knowing exactly what you’re referring to.

“Catch me up?” the third girl, Sharmin, asks.

“Gloria’s entire portfolio is in iambic pentameter,” you tell her dryly. “Honestly, Gloria, I’ve got to know why.”

Gloria giggles. “Okay, okay - it really was just for the challenge. Like, it’s super great that poetry is all no rules but sometimes the challenge of saying what you’re trying to say within the framework of existing rules is… kind of fun?”

“I shall call you The Bard. Or maybe Bardess,” you joke.

The three of you move on to discuss the actual content of Gloria’s portfolio and then Sharmin’s - asking questions, noting lines you really liked, pointing out patterns and themes and hedging guesses on their meanings.

Finally, it’s your turn.

“Your voice is really sharp,” Sharmin compliments you. “I mean… maybe I don’t mean sharp. Clear? Crisp? Something like that.”

“I thought so too,” Gloria agrees. She pulls up a document on her laptop, referring to some notes she took. “I also noticed - and really liked - that while your topics were all different from each other, you had this recurring theme of life and death.”

You stare at her blankly. “I do?”

She gives you a sideways smile; it’s not uncommon for you two to pick things up in each other’s writing that you hadn’t noticed.

“Sure,” she says, and her finger goes to her screen as she reads a few examples, “Who would try to fight the tide, / the dark, the depth, the chill? That’s from your first one.

“Then, the second one: On Sundays I leave stones / atop marble markers to memorialize / those that you and I chose / to leave unturned. That whole entire poem is about a graveyard, so, yeah.”

“Oh! And your latest one!” Sharmin adds. “Where you’re, like, growing bones in your chest?”

You cover your face. “It sounds so dumb like that.”

But even as you’re speaking, other lines spring into your head:

Autumn leaves me hollow.

but my feet itch and beg to go, / into the night where the wolfpack hunts, / into the storm of wind and snow.

Nothing grows here that isn’t dead.

Gloria’s right. You do have a recurring theme about death.

You hadn’t realized. You hadn’t known you were weaving this single thread through everything you put to paper.

What you did know, the part you were aware of was that every one of those poems was about Taehyung.

You press your fingers over your mouth and take a slow, steadying breath. Somehow, everything hurts. It feels like you’re coming apart. It feels like your sutures have been cut too soon as you wrestle with this truth laid out for you:

Every metaphor you ever wrote with Taehyung in mind was somehow connected to death.

Like something inside you knew, long before you did, that whatever was between you was dead before it started.

Like something inside you knew that no matter how many words you devoted to him, you could never breathe life into it.

Like something in you knew the situation had a failure to thrive from the very beginning.

“And life?” you finally manage to ask through your fingers. But you already know every line you wrote about what comes next, about moving forward, about better possibilities.

If autumn can’t make me happy, / I wonder if winter might.

I know despite the dangers, / I can’t afford to stay inside.

This one, they say, will live.

And, most recently - that the girls hadn’t even seen, in my life, you’re everything good.

You didn’t need someone to point these lines out to you. You knew exactly what you’d been writing about - Namjoon, and the way his very presence seemed to represent the promise of something better.

–

You hustle home after class, walking so fast that you actually get your heart-rate up. Inside, you drop your bag on the ground and call Namjoon’s name, crossing the living room.

“Yeah?” he calls back, turning at his desk, but you’ve already entered his room, approaching him at a clip.

He’s got about a hundredth of a second to look surprised before you’re kissing him, hands coming up to cup his face firmly. He leans up to meet you, grunting with happy surprise, his hands coming to rest on your forearms.

When you break away, he smiles at you quizzically. “What was that for?”

You shake your head, indicating that you know your reasons are silly. “Because I wanted to,” you tell him truthfully. “Because I like you, and I missed you today, and….”

And you’re everything good.

“And I’m just… happy to be with you,” you finish lamely, nibbling with your bottom lip, a nervous habit.

He slides one hand down your arm and takes your hand. His smile softens from something teasing into something sweet, those dimples winking at you.

“Well,” he says, looking up at you, “speaking of how much you like me… you don’t have class on Friday, right? What about work?”

Friday is a day off at the university - some kind of training day for staff.

“Nope,” you say. “Kris is on, not me. Why, what’s happening?”

Namjoon’s hand goes to the back of his neck. “I, uh,” he says, a little bashfully, “I wanted to take you out. Like, for the day. On a date. I had some ideas.”

You press your lips together, trying to fight back the smile that’s breaking across your face.

“Yeah,” you say, your voice coming out small. “That sounds really nice. On Friday?”

“Mhm,” he says, his smile growing cockier now that you’ve said yes. “Wear comfortable shoes. And something warm - it’s supposed to snow a little.”

You’re still practically fighting the pleased smile off your face with a broom. “Okay, I will,” you tell him. You feel like you need to get out of there so you can squeal and hop around and maybe text Kris. “I’m gonna go change. Come hang out if you want?”

You tap his wall twice in goodbye and head to your room, closing the door while you change into sweatpants and a hoodie. You’re aware that he’s seen you naked now, but it still feels necessary. You text Kris as you change, and they send you back a row of exclamation points and a “#TeamDimples!”. You send them back an eye-roll and head to the living room couch.

–

[5:22 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: i’m going into the city friday to do some holiday shopping [5:22 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: you in? [5:23 PM] You: i have plans already :( i’m sorry [5:25 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: we could come back early [5:26 PM] You: my thing’s all day :( [5:29 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: ok [5:30 PM] You: sorry tete :( [5:34 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: it’s fine. dinner tonight? [5:35 PM] You: only if i dont have to walk my ass back to campus… [5:37 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: youre such a complainer 🙄 [5:37 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: i’ll pick you up

You chew on your pinky nail, staring at your phone screen. Do you need to see if Namjoon has dinner plans? Do you need his permission to go eat with Taehyung?

You don’t know the rules to this middle-ground you’re in.

But in light of everything you figured out today, you err on the safe side.

Namjoon’s in the kitchen, opening a beer by the sound of it. When he wanders back through the living room, you catch his eye.

“What’s wrong?” he asks immediately. You must look worried.

“Is it… um… Taehyung wants to grab dinner on campus. Are you - can - ?”

Understanding dawns on Namjoon’s face, and he comes over, sitting on the couch next to you and setting his beer on the coffee table.

“You don’t need to ask me before you spend time with your friends,” he says seriously. “Even that friend. You said you’re in this… so, I trust you.”

It’s such a simple thing, but it almost chokes you up. “Okay,” you whisper, so your voice won’t break. “And you’ll be okay? You can order or something?”

“I fed myself for years before we lived together,” he reminds you gently.

“Yeah, okay,” you say, feeling a little foolish. “So, I’ll see you after dinner?”

He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll be here,” he promises.

–

At dinner, surrounded by noisy groups of other students, you and Taehyung each pick at your plates, chatting in between bites.

Finally, as you scrape some sauce absently around your plate, he shoots you a baleful look. “I’ve really missed you lately,” he says, voice low.

Your stomach sinks. “I’ve been here, Taehyung,” you protest. “I didn’t go anywhere.”

“I know,” he says. “I know that. It just feels like we don’t talk as much anymore.”

You twist your lips to the side. There’s truth to what he’s saying, and you know it.

“If you want to talk to me, talk to me,” you insist. “Nothing’s different.”

He looks at you flatly. “You know that isn’t true.”

He purses his lips, looks away from you. “What’s new with you?” he asks, finally. He must have been thinking about how little he’s asked you that, over the past few months, how happy he was to let you exist just outside his orbit. “Have you heard from Lin lately?”

You fill him in on what you can - Lin, Kris and the bookstore, even finally telling him a bit about your thesis work on St. Vincent Millay’s anthology. He tells you about a fight he had with Jimin, about how he almost failed a required biology class this semester, how his mom had the flu last week but is doing better now.

He doesn’t mention dating, so neither do you.

The guilt eats at you all night long, even after you’ve gone to bed. You lay in the dark, your stomach hurting with it.

You’re not sure if you feel bad because you and Taehyung aren’t supposed to keep secrets, or if it’s because you know you’ve done Namjoon wrong by keeping quiet.

Both, you decide sometime around two in the morning. You text Namjoon, “are you asleep?” He answers almost immediately, “almost. you ok?”

You brace yourself and send, “can i come over there?”

When he sends back, “please do” you grab your phone charger and make your way across the dark living room, lit only by the streetlights outside. You make your way into Namjoon’s room, into his bed, into his embrace. You fall asleep between his arms, feeling entirely like the least deserving person alive.

Friday December 7th

You follow Namjoon’s directions on Friday, wearing something warm, and sneakers. But when you head for the kitchen in the morning - he’d told you to be ready early - there’s no Namjoon in sight.

“Namjoon?” you call through the quiet apartment. “Hello?”

There’s no answer. You pull out your phone, ready to text him, when you hear footsteps and then the jangle of keys outside the front door.

Namjoon comes in sideways, shouldering the door open, a tray with two coffees in his hand.

“I tried to get back before you were up,” he says sheepishly.

“We have coffee here,” you say in answer, trying to catch up to whatever is going on.

He gives you a mischievous smile. “We have a train to catch. We needed them to be to-go. You ready?”

It’s cold out; you’re immediately glad for your big puffy coat and the scarf around your neck. You walk with your hot coffee in one hand and Namjoon’s hand in your other. The walk to the train station is only minutes, and soon you’re standing on the platform, peering in the direction that the train should come in from. When the wind picks up, you scoot closer to Namjoon, scavenging for body heat. He smiles down at you and gives your hand a squeeze.

When the train rushes in and the doors slide open, Namjoon lets you go first as you step out of the cold and head down the corridor, looking for two empty seats. You find one in the second car you walk through, and you slide over to the window seat. You both settle in, rearranging heavy coats and coffee cups.

“How long are we on for?” you ask Namjoon. He’s refused to tell you anything about the day, wanting it to all be a surprise.

“Around half an hour,” he tells you, and offers you an earpod. Quiet beats fill your ear as the train starts to move, buildings rushing past faster and faster until they give way to the browns and greens of less urban areas.

Namjoon taps your thigh when your stop comes, and you slide out and follow him towards the doors and back into the sharp, December air.

“Where are we?” you ask, as the train pulls away. Namjoon waves a hand at the train station’s sign, which reads the name of a quiet town west of your university. You’ve never been here before, but you know of it.

Namjoon leads you by the hand away from the train station and towards town. You spend the morning ducking in and out of little niche shops, a few art galleries, and one extremely cluttered antique store just for the hell of it. You talk the whole time - pointing out funny items, telling stories when something sparks a memory, joking and laughing quietly.

Around lunchtime, you stop on the sidewalk. Snow flurries drift down around you; not enough to stick, just enough to get caught in hair and eyelashes.

“What do you feel like eating?” he asks you, blowing on his fingers to warm them. “There are actually a lot of decent options along here.”

“Somewhere warm,” you joke, and he gives you an indulgent smile. Then he wraps an arm around your shoulders as you continue up the street, reading a few menus until you settle on a little cafe. You share a hot meal, watching the snow fall lazily outside.

“What else do you have planned?” you ask curiously, as you finish up eating.

“One more stop,” he says. “It’s the piece de resistance of the day.”

“Ooh,” you say, eyes wide. “Can’t wait.”

Namjoon pays and you zip yourselves back into your coats, heading back into the snow. He leads you, to your surprise, off the main strip and down a narrow side-street. A weathered sign swings in the winter wind, the paint so chipped and peeled that you can’t read it anymore.

He pulls the door open and holds it for you as you step through the threshold of the most beautiful antique bookstore you’ve ever seen.

“Oh, my gosh,” you whisper, reverent, eyes scanning the walls of shelves, the tables, the stuffed armchairs.

“I know you love books as much as I do,” Namjoon’s low voice says, close to your ear. “I wasn’t sure if you love old books as much as I do.”

“I do,” you breathe, running a hand just above the covers of the displayed novels to your right.

You walk together through the display tables, deeper into the belly of the shop. The register is currently unmanned, a little bell on the counter meant to summon whoever operates it.

“I have an idea,” you say to Namjoon, looking over your shoulder to smile up at him. “Let’s play a game?”

One of his eyebrows jumps. “What kind of game?”

A giggle erupts from you, and you try to stifle it. “Not that kind. Let’s shop alone. I’ll pick out three for you, you pick out three for me. Then we can meet back here in… twenty minutes? Or so? Then we can swap.”

Namjoon’s smile is open and wide, practically taking up his whole face. “I like it. Twenty minutes? I’ll set a timer on my phone.”

You go in separate directions as you browse. At one point you have six books in your arms, and you stop and set them down, examining their spines for which you should keep and which you should put back. The smell of old pages permeates the air, along with something Christmas-y - pine, maybe a touch of peppermint. You make your way further into the store, climbing a set of open, metal stairs that lead to a balcony of sorts, with more shelves at the top.

You can see Namjoon down below, crouching next to a shelf, his finger tracing the spines of the books on the bottom shelf, clearly looking for something specific. You smile softly, watching him. Then you bustle on to the next section you’re interested in.

When your phone buzzes in your pocket that your twenty minutes are up, you make your way back down to the spot you’d chosen to meet back up. You hold the books behind your back, smiling.

He does the same. “Trade on three?” he asks. “One… two… three!”

You hand him the stack and he hands his books over to you. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face as you read the titles. You’d both done the same thing without knowing - one fiction, one non-fiction, one poetry.

“I think we spend too much time together,” Namjoon jokes, faking solemnity.

“Agreed,” you say, grinning up at him. “What do you say we buy what we want to buy and go across to that coffee shop to read?” You point out the window, eyeing the coffee shop across the street.

“I like this plan,” he tells you happily, and takes your hand to lead you to the register.

The coffee shop is a good choice - it’s got a fireplace on one wall, and you and Namjoon manage to score a small table not too far from the circle of warmth. Just as he had on the train, he hands you an earpod, and you spend several hours easily - chatting some, reading, watching the snow out the window.

You haven’t felt this at peace, this understood by somebody, perhaps ever in your life.

It gets dark early, making it feel late at night when it’s still early evening. Namjoon holds you close as you walk back down main street, back in the direction of the train station. Halfway down the block he stops, looking down at you, something warm in his gaze.

“What?” you ask. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He doesn’t answer, just leans down to kiss you sweetly, his thumb stroking your jaw whisper-soft.

You’re sleepy the second you sit down on the train. You lean against Namjoon’s shoulder, eyes heavy. You’re not sure if you actually drift off or not, when Namjoon gasps beside you.

“What?” you ask, sitting back up. He looks back at you, eyes wide, clearly horrified. “What? What happened?”

“I’m so sorry,” he blurts out, eyes flashing to his phone and then back to you. The panic in his voice is evident. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

“What happened?” you repeat, feeling your own nerves start to tingle.

“I texted the wrong group chat…” he says quietly, still sounding horrified. “Fuck, I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I thought it was the one with only Yoongi and Hobi…”

He turns his screen to show you. The groupchat is clearly the one with all the guys, the bubbles at the top numerous.

[6:02 PM] Hoseok: Namjoon you’ve been quiet all day

[6:03 PM] Hoseok: what’s the story?

[6:05 PM] Namjoon: took y/n on a date today to that antique bookstore 😊

[6:09 PM] Seokjin: wait….. taehyung’s y/n?

[6:09 PM] Jungkook: OOP-

Your stomach sinks. “Oh, my god,” you say, eyes on his phone screen.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats, sounding pained.

“No, it’s okay,” you say automatically, even though it probably isn’t. You take a deep breath, rub a hand over your face. “He was going to find out eventually. And, honestly, I didn’t want it to be a secret forever, you know? This isn’t… this is real, it’s not a stupid friends-with-benefits thing, it deserves to… be.”

You trail off, not sure what you mean, but Namjoon leans forward, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close.

“I’m still sorry,” he murmurs into your hair.

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “It really is.”

On your lap, your phone buzzes.

[6:12 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: wow.

Sunday December 9th

You try for two days to get Taehyung to answer you. He ignores text after text, call after call.

On the first day, you feel terrible. You’re sure he’s feeling betrayed, confused, hurt.

By the second day, you’re pissed.

[9:57 PM] You: taehyung, please talk to me

[11:08 PM] You: tete. please?

[12:33 AM] You: seriously, can you answer?

[9:41 AM] You: morning. Can we talk today please?

[2:12 PM] You: the silent treatment’s getting old. Pick up.

[5:57 PM] You: i’d LIKE to apologize to you in person but its kind of hard when you’re ignoring me!!!

[8:49 PM] You: fine, i’ll do it this way [8:54 PM] You: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. I’m sorry you found out that way. [8:56 PM] You: for what it’s worth, we aren’t like…… officially official or anything [8:57 PM] You: it’s been heading that way, yeah, but…. not yet [8:59 PM] You: i think… telling you would have made it realer, and i didn’t know if it was real enough for that yet [9:03 PM] You: and if i’m being honest… i didn’t know how to tell you

[9:32 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can i come over

Relief floods through you so heavy that you exhale everything inside you, eyes closing, head sagging towards your chest, the hand holding your phone going limp. Namjoon looks over at you from his side of the couch.

“He answered?” he asks.

“He’s coming over,” you confirm, typing in an answer to Taehyung. “You don’t mind, right? I owe him some answers.”

“No,” he says evenly. “I don’t mind. Do you want me to… I mean, I’m just thinking of when I talked with Elyse. Would me being there… help? Or make it worse?”

You let out a bitter laugh. “It’d help me tremendously,” you admit. “But I think it’d make it worse for him. Thank you, though. I appreciate the thought.”

“Okay,” he says quietly, and reaches out to give your hand a squeeze. “Well, you know where to find me.”

Outside, the December night is cold, but dry, the air tickling your throat on its way to and from your lungs.

“Listen,” you say softly. You and Taehyung are sitting side by side, a foot apart, on the stairs in front of your apartment. The stone step feels like a slab of absolute ice underneath you, but you can’t care about that right now. “I’m sorry it happened like this. I was trying… I was trying not to let anything change between us.”

Taehyung doesn’t answer, just stares at the road. From the side, you can see the tightness in his face, the clench of his jaw, the movement of his throat as he swallows. You’ve known him almost your whole life. You can read him like a book.

He’s hurting.

He’s trying to pretend he’s not.

“I mean,” you continue, your heart aching, “you never tell me about your girls.”

“That’s different,” he croaks.

“How?” you ask softly. “How is this different?”

“I wasn’t actually dating any of them,” he says.

It’s not the whole reason, and you both know it.

“So, what is this?” he asks. “Is he your boyfriend now?” He positively sneers the word.

This stops you. You don’t know how to answer. Technically, no. But essentially… yes. You just hadn’t talked it through yet. “He… I…”

Taehyung stands suddenly, shoves his hands in his pockets, paces to the curb and back. “Well?” he demands, facing you. The hurt is practically dropping from him, and you’re reeling to fight the instinct to make it better, reeling trying to determine at lightning speed if you’ve actually done something wrong.

“Not technically,” you whisper.

He stands there, surrounded by the dark, staring you down, his face more serious than you’ve ever seen it. You stand too, taking a few steps to stop before him.

“What does this mean for us?” Taehyung asks. His voice breaks on ‘us’. “What are we now?”

You reach out, fingers skimming along his arm, wanting to comfort. “Taehyung, it doesn’t mean anything for us. We’ll be the same as we’ve always been.”

–

Upstairs, Namjoon can’t let go of the uneasy feeling in his stomach. He can’t get that day with Elyse out of his head - how his eyes had found yours and he’d felt steady, had literally felt the fist of anxiety loosen on his lungs. What if you needed him out there? Finally, he can’t take it anymore. He crosses the living room and peeks out the window, just to gauge how it’s going - he’s sure he can read your expression or your body language enough to tell if you’re okay or not.

He leans over, looking out, and the blood in his arms and legs turns in an instant to ice.

Outside on the sidewalk, you’re kissing Taehyung. His dark hair hangs over your face, where one of his hands rests. Your bodies are impossibly close together, seeming to meld into one in the shadows.

“Fuck,” he hisses, punching his doorframe. Then he slams his door shut, and locks it for good measure.

He should’ve known, he thinks. He should’ve seen this coming from day one.

Elyse had made him feel stupid, yeah.

But it was nothing like this.

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I'M GOING INTO HIDING BYE!!!!!!! <3

love y'all thanks for reading!!!

376 notes · View notes

likeahorribledream · 3 years ago

Text

𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝙸𝚃

SUMMARY: Your roommate, Bucky, is madly in love with you. Everyone knows it, except for you who's totally oblivious. Bucky's friends keep telling him that he needs to let you know how he feels before it's too late but he never finds the right moment, then one night you leave for a date and come back with a boyfriend.

PAIRING: Beefy!Bucky x Reader

WORD COUNT: 3k

GENRE: Angsty fluff.

REQUEST: Prompt 4 jealously: then totally denying it when being confronted about it but everybody knows they're full of shit along with an angst dialogue 11. ''Come back! I'll do anything!'' and from intimate cute moments 2. a character whispering ''kiss me'' to their love interest. AU being roommate!Bucky

NOTE: This one was one hell of a challenge but I loved it!!!

𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

At first when Bucky moved in, he wasn’t sure if it had been a good idea. He’s been kind of a lone wolf for years, aside from Steve and Sam, and having a roommate meant that he’d have to see and share his living space with someone. Every day.

He changed his mind embarrassingly fast after he started to get to know you. Having you around made him feel calm and safe, there was this energy about you that just put his mind at ease instantly and he completely trusted you.

Bucky has a serious crush on you. Crush might not even be strong enough of a word to describe how he feels about you, but he’s too scared to ruin the friendship he has with you to say anything so he keeps it to himself. He thinks he’s doing a good job at hiding it until Steve and Sam come over and they see him interact with you.

‘’You’re totally in love with her.’’ Sam points out after you left the room.

‘’Shut up.’’ He glares at Sam. ‘’No, I’m not.’’

‘’Yes, you are.’’ Steve chimes in. ‘’You had heart eyes the whole time she was talking.’’

Bucky rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. ‘’I did not have heart eyes.’’

‘’When are you going to tell her?’’ Sam asks after he stopped laughing at Bucky’s grumpiness.

‘’I’m not.’’ He shrugs. ‘’Her friendship is too important to me to risk losing her over some dumb feelings.’’

‘’They aren’t dumb feelings. I think you should tell her. She might like you back but if you keep waiting, someone else is going to snatch her up.’’ Steve tells his best friend.

‘’I will tell her. When I’m ready. Now shut up about it before she hears you.’’

Steve and Sam smile knowingly at each other and the three of them focus back on the game playing on the TV in front of them.

That was 4 months ago and Bucky still hasn’t found the right moment to tell you how he feels.

As they always do on Friday nights, Steve and Sam come over to watch TV and drink beer together. You usually join them and Bucky loves it, loves being able to spend time with his best friends and you.

You walk out of your room wearing a really cute dress and you stop in front of the guys. ‘’What do you think of this dress?’’ You ask them.

The three of them all turn to look at you at the same time and Bucky swears his heart is about to explode. You look absolutely gorgeous.

‘’You look beautiful, doll, but aren’t you a little too overdressed for watching TV and drinking beer?’’ He jokes, chuckling.

‘’Oh.’’ You bring your hands to cover your mouth and pull them away to reveal a very apologetic smile. ‘’I totally forgot to tell you, I’m sorry. I’m going on a date tonight.’’

Bucky still feels like his heart is going to explode but now for very different reasons. He tries not to let it show on his face but his best friends can tell that he’s freaking out.

‘’You look perfect.’’ Bucky finally says back, breaking the awkward silence that followed her announcement.

‘’Thank you.’’ You grin. ‘’I have to finish getting ready, thanks guys.’’ You wave at them before disappearing in your room again.

The second you left the living room Steve and Sam are on Bucky.

‘’You need to grow some balls NOW and tell her NOW how you feel.’’ Sam hisses at him, not too loud in case you’re not far.

‘’You need to get your shit together before she goes from dating to being in a relationship. This might be your last chance to tell her.’’

Bucky shakes his head. ‘’You both need to calm down and stop being so dramatic. I’ll tell her soon but not tonight.’’

Sam and Steve let out an annoyed groan but drop the subject. They know better than to try to change his mind. Bucky is stubborn and only he can change his own mind.

A month passed since that night and Bucky barely sees you. He should have listened to his friends because what started as one date has now turned into a relationship. Of course this is something that his friends absolutely love to throw back in his face.

‘’I told you, didn’t I?’’ Steve says, disappointed in his friend.

‘’We told you this was going to happen, but did you listen? Noooo. Well look where it has gotten you.’’ Sam adds shortly after.

‘’Shut up. Both of you. I don’t want to hear this right now.’’

The only reason why they stop is because it seems like he’s really struggling with the fact that he might have lost his only chance with you.

A few more months go by and Bucky gets to see less and less of you. Most of the time you’re at your boyfriend’s place and only come back to pick up clean clothes and leave again. He actually sees you maybe 10 minutes every week and then you’re out the door.

Bucky misses you a lot, and not just because he’s in love with you, he misses his friend. You used to hang out together all the time, go out to eat or play board games until 3 am, laughing your asses off over things that weren’t even funny but to you both they were the most hilarious jokes you’ve ever heard. You used to text all the time too, when you couldn’t see each other for whatever reason. You’d check in with one another, talk about your days and exchange a few gifs to make the other laugh.

Now? Nothing. If he would have known that he was going to lose his friend whether he said something to her about his feelings or not, he would have risked it and just told you everything. Now he has to live not only with the regret of not making a move when he had the chance but also the empty hole you’ve left in his heart and in his life now that you’re gone. Technically, you still live here but aside from your name on the lease nothing else points to that fact.

He’s hurt, he’s sad and pretty much restless now that you’re no longer there to keep him grounded. He keeps everything to himself until one day when you come back to pick up some more clothes and Bucky watches you from the doorway trying to catch up with you as much as he can before you walk out, as he talks he notices that your drawers are now completely empty. You’ve just packed the last of your clothes and Bucky had no idea it was even possible but somehow his heart broke again.

He’s not proud of it but that’s when he loses control over himself and all of the things he had been pushing down come out.

‘’You know, if I had wanted a ghost roommate I would have moved to a haunted house or just stayed by myself.’’

You look up from your bag, frowning. ‘’What does that mean?’’

‘’You’re never here anymore. I’ve been living by myself for months. Your room might as well be a storage room, that’s the only reason I ever see you anymore.’’ He crosses his arms, his anger slowly getting the best of him.

‘’Buck, calm down.’’ You say softly, not really liking where this conversation is heading. ‘’We can talk about this, ok? But some other day. I have to go, he’s waiting for me downstairs.’’

You walk past him to get out of your room and walk towards the front door.

‘’If I had known you were the kind of person that just completely ditches their friends when they get a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have moved in.’’

You turn around. ‘’Excuse me?’’

‘’When’s the last time you spoke to me? Steve? Sam? From the moment you got with your boyfriend we stopped existing to you. That’s not how friends treat each other. Don’t even think about coming back to any of us when it’s over with him.’’

You stare at Bucky, not believing what you’re hearing. ‘’When did you start being such an asshole?’’

‘’A few months after you did.’’ He snaps back.

You shake your head. ‘’I’ll come get the rest of my stuff tomorrow. You won’t have to see me again.’’ You say coldly.

‘’Good.’’ He answers just as cold.

Bucky watches you leave and he’s fuming. He paces around, mumbling to himself until he’s calmed down. Only then does he understand what happened, truly understand it. You’re leaving, for good. Not just this apartment but also Bucky. He has screwed up so royally.

His heart starts racing in his chest and he can feel his anxiety rise in his body with each minute that passes.

He rushes to his room to get his phone and dials your number. It rings and rings until he gets your voicemail. He tries over and over again until you finally pick up.

‘’Doll, I’m so so-’’

‘’Stop calling her, asshole. She doesn’t want to hear from you. She’s been crying ever since she got back because of you. Don’t call again.’’ Your boyfriend answers and then hangs up.

Bucky probably shouldn’t call you again but now that he knows that you’re crying, there’s no way he’s going to leave you like that so he calls again but this time it goes straight to voicemail.

‘’Shit!’’ He almost screams, beyond mad at himself.

He tries to call you one last time and unsurprisingly, his call goes to voicemail again. Bucky might regret it later but right now the only thing he can think of to get you to talk to him is to come see you so he grabs his keys and rushes to the door to drive to your boyfriend’s apartment building. He reads over all the names of tenants and what numbers they are living in and waits until someone comes out to hurry inside and up the stairs. It takes him a few minutes to find the apartment you’re in but when he does, he starts knocking right away.

The door opens on your boyfriend and he looks pissed. ‘’You have some fucking nerve showing up here.’’

‘’Where is she?’’ Bucky asks, not listening to a word he says.

‘’None of your business. I told you she doesn’t want to speak with you.’’

‘’It’s ok, I’ll talk to him.’’ You say, walking out from behind your boyfriend.

Bucky’s heart sinks in his chest when he sees how red and puffy your eyes are. He did this to you. You who has been nothing but an absolute angel to him since you met him, even when he didn’t deserve it. Especially when he didn’t deserve it.

‘’Let’s go outside.’’ You say to Bucky, walking out of the apartment.

He follows you and you both walk down the stairs in silence. You sit on a bench on the side of the building and both stay silent for a few minutes, making this moment even more awkward.

‘’I’m so sorry.’’ Bucky finally says. ‘’I’ve been missing my friend, missing you, so much and I let my emotions get the best of me. I shouldn’t have said what I said, you didn’t deserve it and it was unfair of me to treat you like that. I didn’t mean a word of it.’’

You both avoid looking at each other, scared of what you might see in the other’s eyes.

‘’Please don’t leave the apartment. Please don’t-’’ He clears his throat. ‘’Don’t leave me. I- I’ll do anything for you to come back. I don’t want another roommate, I just want you. Even if it’s just 10 minutes every week, I’ll take it. I just can’t lose you.’’

There’s a long pause.

‘’Anything?’’ You ask.

‘’Anything.’’ He answers without an ounce of hesitation.

‘’Even cleaning my room for two months?’’ You joke, a little small tugging at the corner of your lips.

Bucky feels all the tension leaving his body at your joke.

‘’Have you seen your room? It’ll take a lot more than two months to clean it.’’

His heart swells at the sound of your laughter, finally allowing himself to smile a little.

‘’Can you forgive me?’’ He asks quietly, finally turning on the bench to be facing you and looking at you.

You turn to do the same and smile. ‘’Of course I forgive you, Bucky.’’

The weight of his guilt lifts off of his chest and he feels like he can breathe again. ‘’Thank god.’’ He kisses your forehead and leans back again. ‘’All I want is for you to be happy and if he makes you happy, then that’s all I care about.’’

You hum, looking away which makes Bucky frowns.

‘’Hey.’’ He says softly, gently cupping the side of your face to make you look at him. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’He’s not really a good boyfriend.’’ You admit, embarrassed.

‘’Why? Did he hurt you? If he touched a hair on your head I’ll fucking kill him.’’

Bucky moves to stand up but you stop him. ‘’No, nothing like that. I promise. It’s just… He’s not really nice.’’

‘’Baby, why are you staying with him then? Just come back home.’’

‘’He’s the only guy who’s shown any interest in me in a few years. My mom says I need to stop being picky otherwise I’ll end up alone.’’

‘’I say this with all the respect for your mother but fuck what she says. You should never settle for anything less than what you deserve. Let’s go back upstairs to get your things and I’ll drive you home. This guy doesn’t deserve any more of your time.’’

You look at Bucky, hesitating, but the sincerity of his words and the soft look in his eyes make you believe him so you agree.

‘’You stay here. I’ll go alone.’’

‘’I don’t like that.’’

‘’I’ll be fine, I promise.’’

‘’Ok. I’m giving you ten minutes and if in ten minutes you’re not back I’m coming to get you.’’

‘’Buc-’’

‘’Nuh-uh.’’ He kisses your forehead tenderly. ‘’Non-negotiable.’’

Bucky helps you up and walks with you to the front door of the building.

‘’Ten minutes.’’ He reminds you as you walk back inside.

Bucky walks over to his car and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the door while glancing down at his watch from time to time. He’s getting ready to bust through the door when he sees you come out with your arms full of stuff. He rushes over to you and takes everything from you.

‘’I got it. Are you ok?’’ He looks you over to make sure you’re fine.

‘’I am.’’ You smile and it’s enough for him to believe you. He puts everything in the trunk of his car and then comes over to open the door for you, closing it only when you’re safely seated. He rounds his car and takes his seat behind the steering wheel.

‘’What you said earlier about him being the only guy that’s been interested in you for years, that’s not true.’’

Bucky is taking a huge risk but he’s not going to wait one more second. The last time he waited he lost you for months and almost for good. Not this time.

‘’What do you mean?’’ You turn to look at him. ‘’Are you talking about Sam? Because sometimes he acts really weird around me.’’

Bucky chuckles. ‘’That’s just Sam being Sam.’’ He turns to look at you, too, and takes a deep breath. ‘’It’s me. I’ve been in love with you for almost a year. I know you don’t feel the same, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything but I feel like I needed to clear the air. I still want to be roommates and friends, if you don’t feel like it’s too weird.’’

Your brain momentarily stops working. ‘’You. You are in love with me?’’

‘’Yeah.’’ He admits, shyly and slightly embarrassed.

‘’Why haven’t you said anything?’’

‘’I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.’’

‘’Bucky. I was leaving the apartment because I had a boyfriend and I couldn’t be around you anymore. I couldn’t because I kept comparing him to you and I realized that he could never be you.’’

His breath hitches in his throat, not believing what he’s hearing. ‘’What are you saying?’’

‘’I’ve been in love with you too. I thought that was obvious. I mean I just spent hours crying because we got into a fight. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I haven’t shed a single tear.’’

‘’Baby, don’t play with me.’’ He warns in case you’re teasing him.

‘’I’m not.’’

Bucky rests his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. ‘’You love me?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Prove it. Kiss me.’’ He whispers so close to you that his lips actually brush on yours as he speaks.

You grin and within seconds your lips are pressed against his, not even caring that you’re kissing your roommate while still being in front of your ex-boyfriend’s building. He kisses you back instantly, one of his hands going to the back of your neck to keep you close.

He had imagined his first kiss with you so many times, not once did he think it would happen like this but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is that he got his girl and that he’s never going to waste a second of his life not telling you how much he loves you or showing you how much he loves you ever again.

Between each kiss, Bucky whispers against your lips ‘’I love you baby’’.

He intends on making up for all those months that you could have been together.

His jealousy had gotten the best of him and he promised to himself to never hurt you again. He’s going to spend the rest of his life showing you how amazing you are and how loved you are, and if he ever gets to meet your mom it’ll be his pleasure to remind her of your worth too.

Bucky is completely in love with you and he’s never going to hide it again.

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mazuwii · 3 years ago

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How the AOT characters are as parents

Word count - 2.3K

Characters - Levi. Eren. Bertholdt. Reiner. Jean. Armin. Erwin. Zeke. Porco. Hange. Pieck. Mikasa.

Levi

To them, Levi is kind of intimidating so they use it to their advantage a majority of the time. Like they ask Levi to drop them off at school so that the bullies see him and low-key panic. Yep, no one is touching your children when they look at Levi.

Although his children do think he looks intimidating, they aren't at all scared of him. In fact it's the complete opposite, they love messing around with him and straight up laughing at what ever he does. He's too exhausted to argue back.

When they do this, Levi looks at you with tired eyes and says, "Is it true? Those little brats said I look like a retired cat."

"What's that supposed to even mean?"

And don't get me started on the looks he gives them when they start surpassing his height.

Levi does unfair things too, like throw away sugary cereal and replace it with oatmeal bs, he even has to pluck your children out of their rooms to go out- they enjoy it mostly. Though being out with Levi (a family outing, let's say a restaurant) is quite a fun thing no matter how silent he is.

He mostly sits with his arms crossed and nods fondly at your children excitedly explaining nonsense to him while you wait for the food to arrive. Even if they interrupted each other and squeal like monkeys, he loves them to bits.

Eren:

Eren gets along with your children because he behaves like them and will stoop down to their level. The dude will literally laugh manically while chasing your screaming kids because they know once he catches them, he's going to do it by their leg and swoop them off the floor like they're uncooked chicken.

Or when the family is playing monopoly and one of your kids are crying because Eren just surpassed them, he doesn't console them, no, he just sticks his tongue out and cackles like a witch.

He absolutely enjoys terrorising his children, they love doing it back to him. Eren just enjoying a nice lay down at the beach? The kids will squirt water in his relaxed face, to ruin his stupid day off.

Still, he can't say he doesn't enjoy it, he'll snatch a spare water gun and sprint after them.

Bertholdt

Your child loves him so damn much and it shows when he brags about him to everyone, it's the usual, every time he's asked about what he's drawing and it's Bertholdt with a giraffe neck he smiles and goes, "My daddy!" And without being asked to he continues on to describe him, "he's big and strong and he said I'll be like him when I grow older! Do you think so? I don't think so, he's too tall, I don't think anyone could ever"-

Yes, he certainly didn't take after his shyness. Lil guy just rambles on and on.

Bertholdt has always been the awkward dad at gatherings and never speaks up. In fact, when your son signed up to scouts, there was this trip where you take your dad to camp with you, so basically kids and their fathers were sat around the campfire conversing with each other after setting up everything and doing basic camp activities with their sons.

Not Bert, Bert just has his little man sat on his lap, speaking lowly only to him.

Though some of the other dads to try to include him, the poor guy is just very awkward 😭 even so, Bertholdt junior will always look at his dad with stars twinkling in his eyes, hoping to become the man who's raising him.

Secretly, I guess Bertholdt is insecure about how your child views him. He knows he's silent and pretty much only has a small circle of friends- his uncle Reiner is way more bubbly and extroverted with him, so he wondered, does he love him more?

Though you'd reassure him, obviously, anyone could see just how much your child loves him- in fact at that time he abruptly ran into the kitchen, holding up a crayon portrait of your family.

Bertholdt hoisted him up into his arms while you hung the drawing onto the fridge, when you turned around you were met with the cute sight of him kissing his father all over his face. All Bert could do was giggle softly and shut his eyes in happiness.

Reiner:

Reiner is the dad that is both a father but a best friend. When he's joking around with his children, he understands what to do and what not to do, it almost never ends in tears because he's just a huge friendly teddy bear and that's always how Reiner's been.

It'll never be obvious to them but anytime they play a game with him, he always lets them win on purpose. Something incredibly simple such as revealing himself "by accident" during hide and seek and getting dog piled by his kids. He doesn't care if he's on the floor and they're all holding him down, he's laughing his ass off because they're so frickin adorable to him when they're climbing him like that,

Reiner looks tired asf, being the dilf that he is so it's confusing when you guys go to parties and he's the one partaking in active games with other fathers.

Though the moment you get back home he's laying on his stomach and moaning into the pillow about his aching back. He'll just complain about how "my body isn't what it used to be" while you massage the pain away. Poor guy.

Jean:

The ultimate dad. The ultimate dilf. The ultimate everything.

Jean isn't strict, he's actually quite soft but tries to at least be a little firm with the kids. Usually he's out, doing work so he comes home during late evenings.

Days off for him are the greatest though because he takes it as time to spend with his kids properly. Like if you're ill or not well, he'll have a hell lot of fun having his little minions help him cook.

His daughter is making heart shaped cookies using the cutter, his son is licking at the cake batter and it's an absolute mess but he's having so much fun. By the time he tries to get your son to stop licking off the batter, he bursts out laughing because half his face is covered in chocolate mix. It's adorable.

Armin:

Talk about getting taken advantage of. If you ever say no, the person your kids will run to is their father. You never knew how but they always managed to guilt trip him into doing anything.

They'll sleep late and he'll remind them that he's only allowing it because it's a weekend- or when they take too much candy and do odd experiments in the kitchen. He's just so stressed out so much.

He's always on the verge of panicking when your kids are about to do something, those little devils are unpredictable. Yet it'll never fail to make you smile when you see that they've covered him with a blanket after he fell asleep on the couch.

Erwin:

A proud and approving father no matter what happens to his kids. Erwin doesn't like scolding about grades, he's the type to encourage them to try harder, except- he'll help them, tutoring them every once in a while and promising a reward if they get their grades back up.

It never fails, they'll always get back on track.

And although he may be busy a majority of the time, he'll always make time for their school plays and sport events. But he's unnoticeable in the audience of parents so your child initially stayed on stage due to the sad belief their father didn't show up.

Yet his face lightened up the second Erwin strolled up in front of them, holding his arms out for them to jump into. He'd praise them for such a great job and how they really made the entire play enjoyable, he's just the best.

Side note, Erwin has probably taken his kids on trips to his university and introduced them all to his coworkers. It may not sound fun but believe me, it's quite the experience

Zeke:

He loves having mini WWE matches with your children. They'll just learn how to walk a few weeks ago and Zeke will take it upon himself to play fight with them on the mattress.

He'll body slam the kid against the bouncy bed and then blow raspberries into their stomach, making them boisterously giggle.

May I just say, the amount of times you've caught him climb into your crying babies crib and comfort them in it. The way they cling onto him like he's their last resort to safety, how seeing him must relieve them of any fear- it just melts you on the inside.

Your camera roll is probably full of photos where he's fallen asleep with his toddler on his chest or him cuddling his child to sleep. They're like two puppies after a long day of playing around.

SIDENOTE! The amount of times he's rolled his eyes because a relative asked him to dress up as Santa for Christmas 😭 he eventually did it once because everyone kept encouraging him to do it. His kids were very pleased to say the least.

Porco:

Protective and proud. Porco is one of those dads that buy their babies Gucci outfits and they're like what? One years old?

"Ayyyy, look at my lil gangster, all dripped out." He spuds his toddler- someone stop this man 😭😭😭. He even takes photos of his kids holding wads of cash and uploads it to his instagram, I swear it's not even funny but everyone encourages it 😭😭😭

When he's not trying to make his children flex, Porco loves being the athletic dad- let me tell you this, fourty years old and man looks like he's twenty nine, he doesn't age. He's a vampire.

The other mums are low-key chatting to you about it, you know, Y/n's husband looks like he's ten years younger than her and bs 😭

He doesn't give two shits, he loves you and he does think he's annoying so it must be a blessing you still love him. I don't think Porco is annoying, he just has his moments in which you think, he's a prissy princess stuck in a man's body.

One time he was changing his babies nappy for the first time, he thought it was only pee, but to his surprise he almost fainted from the waft of baby shit, he plugged his nose and screamed, "EEEEEEK!"

You rushed downstairs, expecting a murder murder scene but it was just Porco gagging 😭

Hange:

She's the cool soccer mom. Her hair is tied back into the scary French teacher cut but she is that mum everyone loves. On sports day, when her kid isn't playing a certain race, she'll cheer on children that are in her child's team. She's such a vibe.

Every Friday after school, she takes her children out to rock climbing, maybe an indoor trampoline thingy idk, whatever they wanna do if she has no idea but a majority of the time she surprises them. And they love it.

I don't think there's a moment of stress when Hange's around, she has great critical thinking and makes decisions faster and better. So overall, just the perfect mum.

SIDENOTE, when it's take your children to work day, she dresses up her child as a mad scientist and takes her to the lab to meet everyone else. They all adored her child.

Pieck:

Very specifically, she does magic tricks on them when they cry and it always works. No matter how hard they were crying, when they calm down a bit, she pulls the coin-behind-the-ear trick.

"Oh my... what do we have here?"

"Hm?" Your child rubs his eyes and blinks confusedly at her. She grins and tickles them behind their ear, pulling out a coin from her sleeve and flashing it to their widened eyes.

She's the tired mum that shows up to reading clubs and kids gymnastic performances. No matter how exhausted she is. She'll always be the one to clap the loudest. Everytime her child searches the audience for Pieck, she waves with a smile so they can locate her faster- it never fails

She's the type of mum to rub essential oils into their wrists so they can have a stress free sleep- or even nap. The house also most likely smells of lavender wax and incense. She's overall just a calming person and has never yelled.

Mikasa:

She does seem very stoic and straightforward but she's very affectionate to her kids and will sometimes let them stay home even when they visibly aren't sick. They'll go for a small drive, maybe even go to a drive thru, just sit in a parking lot and talk about life like they're besties.

I'm telling you, she's probably screamed at teachers before for stepping out of line, I don't mean those normal teachers doing their jobs I mean those weird asses, you know the usual shit they tell you off with. "THaT iSnT YoUr NatUrAL hAiR. StRaiGhtEn iT."

"WhAt ArE yOu dOiNg WiTh EArPhOnEs In CLaSS." *is wearing hearing aids*

"No YoU dOnT HavE tHiS dIsOrDeR sTay iN cLAsS."

She's never scary to her child though, they'll always depend on she for safety because that's what Mikasa is to them, a mama bear essentially.

Sasha:

-She either has no regard for them or plays as if she's one of them

-more like a big sister than a mother tbh, like she'd say 'oopsy daisy' when the kid falls and picks them back up

-probably a childs favourite to be around

-'is nanny Sasha going to be babysitting us!?' They'd scream in excitement

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bbysamu · 4 years ago

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#Haikyuu boy when he suspects his teammate has a crush on you

featuring:: OIKAWA Toru, KUROO Tetsuo, AZUMANE Asahi, SUNA Rintaro

genre:: slice of life / fluff

warning:: none!

a/n: hehehe jealous Haikyuu boys are kind of cute

❥ OIKAWA Toru

Oikawa is seething as he watches Kindaichi blush while listening to you describe some weird animal you saw on discovery channel. Oikawa always thought he’d feel a sense of pride if he catches his teammate crushing on you. Yet, watching the slow smile spread on his kouhai’s face and the obvious deep tint in his cheeks as you pat his shoulder for emphasis, Oikawa is angry. And when Oikawa is angry, Oikawa is petty. You jump slightly when you feel the pretty setter’s arms snake around your waist. “Toru! You scared me! sneaking up like that...” Oikawa smiles down at you, “I just wanted to see what MY GIRLFRIEND and my kouhai were laughing about”. “oh I was just telling Kindaichi about this fish I saw on the TV last night. It could glow in the dark! and Kindaichi was just telling me about how he loves glow-in-the-dark fishes.” Oikawa turns to Kindaichi, who seems to shrink under the glower of his captain, “oh does he now? Does Kindaichi like the fishes MY GIRLFRIEND saw on the tv last night?” Kindaichi nods slightly, “yeah, I've always been pretty fascinated with fishes”. Oikawa smiles, “that’s cool! You know what else was very cool? When MY GIRLFRIEND and I went on a DATE to the aquarium. It was super fun. MY GIRLFRIEND and I saw so many different kind of fishes. MY GIRLFRIEND even bought us matching BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND fish rings. She got the clown fish one and I'm the anemone. MY GIRLFRIEND AND I can’t be separated. MY GIRL--”. Oikawa was interrupted by Iwaizumi. “SHUT UP OIKAWA! We get that Y/N your girlfriend! Just shut up already”. Oikawa turns to Kindaichi, “do you get that Kindaichi?” Kindaichi nods quickly before running away. “Toru...” You sigh, “why are you so petty? We were just talking”. Toru laughs before pulling you close, “sorry babe. I just get so jealous when MY GIRLFRIEND talks to my teammate who has a crush on her”.

❥ KUROO Tetsuro

He glares across the room at Lev, who’s little crush on you was starting to get on his nerves. Lev was anything but subtle. It was the annoying way he butted in when the two of you are walking home, offering to carry your backpack, as if Kuroo hadn’t already offered the moment he saw you. It was the annoying way he yells “Y/n-senpai!” when you visit them at practice and runs up to you like a little puppy, when Kuroo should’ve been the one to greet you first. Kuroo knows Lev was no threat to your relationship and as captain, he really should just let it go. So why is he picking on the tall middle blocker and making him run extra dive practices? “Kuroo, can I take a break now?” Lev asks, out of breath from diving onto the floor for twenty minutes. Kuroo was about to say “no”, when Yaku steps in, “yeah take a break Lev”. Kuroo glares down at the Libero as Yaku glares up. “Get a grip on yourself Kuroo. You’re gonna kill the kid”. “Maybe he should’ve thought of that before he’s goes around flirting with MY girlfriend”. Yaku laughs, “so this is what its about? Man, you’re petty. Just talk to him”. Your pretty laughter interrupted his conversation as he looks to his left and sees Lev cracking some jokes with you. Kuroo turns back to Yaku, “don’t worry, I'll talk to him after practice. But only after another twenty minutes of diving practice”. “Kuroo....” Yaku warns. “what? I’m not being petty. You know he needs it”.

❥ AZUMANE Asahi

Asahi is a calm and kind man. He hates confrontation of any kind, which is why he’s sweating profusely as he watches Sugawara chatting and laughing with you. Asahi knows Sugawara would never try to ruin your relationship, but he also sees the way the pretty setter’s eyes lingers on you for just a tad bit too long. He walks over and awkwardly inserts himself into the conversation, purposely putting distance between you and Sugawara “hahaha, what are we laughing about guys?” You look at him and smiled, “just about the new Jujutsu Kaisen episode. Babe, you watched it right?” “no, I didn’t yet”. “no worries, I can re-watch it with you!”. Pretty soon, you and Suga resume your conversation. Asahi was not about to confront his friend for taking up his time with you, but he wasn’t about to let this conversation go on any further. He checks his invisible watch, “oh no Y/n! It’s getting so late, we gotta go! Bye Suga!” He pulls you away before you have to time react. Asahi glances back slightly to see if the setter was watching the two of you and he was. Asahi hates himself for being so petty, but he couldn’t help himself as he tightens his hand around your waist and pulls you into a kiss. “woah, babe, what was that for?” “nothing, I just love you, you know that right?” You smile, “yes, but prove it to me again?” He doesn't even hesitate as he leans down again.

❥ SUNA Rintaro

Suna definitely considers himself an observant person, which is why Atsumu’s little crush on you was immediately discovered by him. It wasn't that Suna was angry. Atsumu is his friend and honestly, who can blame him for having a crush on you when you’re....you. Suna wasn’t angry, he was just annoyed. He was annoyed to see the faintest hint of blush on Atsumu’s ears whenever he talks to you or the goofy smile the faux blonde is unable to wipe off when you smile at him. Suna is sure he’d explode if he sees Atsumu shyly glancing at you one more time, whenever he thinks people aren’t looking. Which brings us to the situation at hand. Atsumu walks into the empty locker room, “Yo Suna, you said you wanted to talk?” “Atsumu, do you like Y/N?” Atsumu couldn’t stop the heat from rushing to his cheeks as he sputters, “what? no! of course not!” Suna smiles, “you don’t have to lie, I'm not mad”. Atsumu knows he can’t hide this from the observant middle blocker. “I’m sorry man. It’ll go away soon I promise.” Suna puts his hand on his shoulder, “yeah I know. Thanks for being honest. Maybe it’ll help to distance yourself from her these days.” It was both a kind suggestion and a thinly-veiled threat at the same time. Atsumu nods. Suna pats his friend’s shoulder before meeting you outside the gym. “Why are you smiling like this, Rin?” He glances down at you gently and lovingly, “nothing, just happy to get something off my chest”.

stay fetch, xoxo

#ceci.writes #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #hq headcanons #oikawa x reader #Asahi x reader #kuroo x you #suna x reader #hq x reader

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zafirosreverie · 4 years ago

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I already had it all (Carla x reader)

For @midnight-lestrange i hope you like it!

a/n: i didn't put the smut scene here because this was already too long. But let me know if you want me to write it!

a/n 2: I...I really didn't watch Ty's scenes. I just skipped them so, I'm sorry if this was OOC for him. But I won't apologise for anything else bc we all know Carla deserved a girlfriend.

#GiveCarlaAGirlfrendChallenge

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You rolled your eyes and sighed when Carla came into the house crying. You didn't even ask, you already knew the story.

Isis looked at her daughter, then at you and subtly took her grandson's arm to leave you two alone. Jackson didn't even bother to look at his mom as he got up. They said goodbye to you before disappearing into their rooms. You didn't turn to the woman until you saw Jackson close his door.

Carla looked at you for a moment, feeling like a stranger in her own home.

"What did he do now?" you said.

Usually, you'd run to her side, hug her, and let her cry for a while while she sobbed and told you whatever it was that made her fight with Ty at the time. God, how you hated that man.

Not only did he have an amazing woman like Carla at his feet, but he also had the door open for a beautiful (if a bit messy) family. And the only thing that seemed to matter to him was how good was his girlfriend in bed.

Hell, the guy hadn't even bothered to properly introduce himself to the son of the woman he was fucking!! Isis had told you how he had shown up at Christmas, making out with Carla while Jackson just waved from the table.

It made you want to throw up.

Although, the woman was not helping either. Carla was your best friend, she had been for years! She was the first to welcome you to the spa, the one who made you laugh at your worst and made you do stupid things when she took you to the bar.

You loved spending time with her.

But Ty...he had changed her. You didn't want to be unfair to him, but since he hadn't bothered to introduce himself to you either, you'd still hate him. Well...you would hate him even if he turned out to be a nice guy, because he had what you couldn't.

You weren't sure exactly when you started falling in love with your best friend, but you did. For months you had become aware of how much you loved her, how much you wanted to be with her at every possible moment, how butterflies flooded your stomach when you heard her laugh, how your cheeks would blush when you were too close to her. You loved everything about her.

And everything that came with the woman. You got along wonderfully with Isis, who was seriously trying to be a better mother to her daughter. And you couldn't even begin to describe the love you felt for Jackson. That boy was a treasure! And it broke your heart that most seemed to prefer to ignore him.

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?" Carla's voice brought you back to the present.

"No" you admitted, looking straight at her "Not really"

Carla looked at you as if you had grown another head. She didn't expect you to say that. The woman didn’t know what was happening with you lately, you were usually tender, kind and supported her in everything. But in the last few weeks, you have become more distant and cold.

Although only with her. It seemed that the further you got away from Carla, the closer you got to Isis. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt a pang of jealousy and fear that her mother was stealing her...her best friend. It didn't make a lot of sense, but...

"Break up with him" you said suddenly

"What?" she blinked

"Break up with Ty" you repeated "Carla, he's not good for you. He's hurting you."

"That is not true"

"Then why did you come crying?" you crossed your arms

"You would know if you had listened to me" she told you, crossing her arms too

"I'm not talking about just now and we both know it" you said "This has been going on for weeks Carla!"

"It's not true" she insisted

"It's a routine at this point. You go out with him, disappear for hours, Jackson calls me to go get him, I stay here until you come back with tears in your eyes, I listen to you, you ‘break’ with him for a few days and then he smiles and you fall again. We all know the routine Carla! Isis doesn't even risk burning the kitchen anymore! She just waits until I get home to make dinner"

"Mom dines with you?" she asked, feeling that terror and jealousy build up inside her.

"And with Jackson" you reminded her.

"Since when?"

"Since you started ditching them for Ty, but that's not the point!" you frowned "The point is that you are no longer you, Carla, and it's his fault"

"That is not true!" she growled "I'm as me as ever"

"No" you said to her "The Carla I knew loved herself, wanted to rebuild a relationship with her mother and loved her son above everything else. The Carla I knew made jokes about Jackson, but it was to prevent others from doing it. My Carla would never have let a man make her cry. "

The woman froze a bit when you called her "My Carla." The heat in her chest returned, like every time you said something nice about her.

"Y/N-"

"No" you interrupted her "You're going to listen to me Dunkler! Because I'm sick of seeing you arrive like this! I'm sick of that idiot using you for your body and you letting him. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he really feels something for you, but until he does a better job proving it, I won't change my mind. I'm also sick of seeing him take you away from your family. You said you wanted a better relationship with your mother, but Isis hasn't seen you properly in days. Ty hasn't even tried to get closer to Jackson, the SON of the woman he supposedly loves, to get to know him better! "

Carla looked at you in surprise. This was a whole new side. You have never lost your cool this way. And she hated herself for finding it a little hot.

"He's the only one who has really stayed with me for more than one night, Y/N" she said weakly. She knew it was a terrible reason, but it was the truth.

"So you will just let him do what he wants because you're afraid of being alone?!" you asked incredulous

"No! I-I really like him!" she said but it felt like a huge lie and that...that surprised her

"It's not fair Carla" you continued "It is not fair that you offer him all this! It is not fair that he has at his disposal a child as wonderful as Jackson and a mother-in-law as great as Isis. It is not fair that he has such a wonderful woman like you, a beautiful, hardworking and brave woman. He doesn't deserve you "

"You keep saying that because you don't know what it's like to be alone for so long! You don't know what it's like to feel like you're not enough for anyone!"

"I DO!" you yelled

"No you don't!" she yelled back at you "You are so perfect and cute and you have everyone at your feet! You can have whoever you want! So no, you don't know what it's like not to be enough for someone!"

"I do it because I've never been enough for you!" you growled "Because you've never seen me as anything more than a friend! And I hate you for that! I hate you because you come and flirt with me and then you go with him! I hate you because you gave him everything I've ever wanted! I hate him because he has what I can't have! AND I HATE YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T REALLY HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVE YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!!!"

Carla froze in her place, staring at you. Her mind had gone blank. It took you a few moments to realize what you had said and you gasped as the realization hit you. You had confessed your feelings to her in the worst possible way. Shit.

"...I'd better go" you said hastily

You took your bag and took advantage of the fact that the woman still looked surprised to quickly pass her, almost running out of the house and to your car.

Carla just watched you go, not knowing what to do or what to think. What the fuck had just happened?

_________________

You cried all the way home. You cursed yourself a thousand times for being such an idiot. How could you do that? You had promised to always be there for her and now you had ruined everything! There was no way in the world that Carla could forgive you for this.

_________________

"Still here?" Isis asked, making her daughter jump "You've been staring at the wall for the last hour."

Carla frowned and turned her gaze away.

"Come on, get your fucking ass up and do something!" Isis insisted

"About what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me. Jackson and I heard everything."

"What? Did you spy on us?" Carla asked a little angry

"Of course not! Your screams were heard throughout the house. I'm sure the neighbors heard too"

Carla blushed and looked at the ground before taking another gulp of her beer. Isis rolled her eyes and snatched it away.

"Ey!"

"Get out of here!"

Carla sighed "What do you want me to do? All that doesn't change anything"

"You're a terrible liar" the older woman scoffed "You've been drowning in your own misery since before I came back. You settled for that idiot just to not be left alone and now that you have a chance to have someone better, you will stay here getting drunk? I'm disappointed "

"Disappointed? It's something you would do yourself" Carla scoffed

"It's not true" Isis said, not bothered by her daughter's words "I would at least fuck her first"

"Mom!"

"What? She's pretty, she has a good body and-"

"Stop it! I don't need to hear my mother talk about how sexy my best friend is"

"Then pick up your sorry butt and go get her" she said, smiling at her daughter's jealous tone "You have the key to her house, use it"

"Mom-"

"I'll keep talking about her body if you don't. Did you know that she has a couple of moles near her right boobie? I loaned her a blouse once and-"

"And I'm leaving" Carla jumped up, taking her keychain

"I'm staying with Jackson, don't come back later" Isis winked

_____________________

You frowned when you heard the front door open. You were sure you had locked it. Your heart raced and you felt fear wash over you as you came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around your body.

You grabbed a baseball bat that was near your bedroom door (thank goodness you were training with Jackson) and walked slowly down the hall to the living room.

"Y/N?"

You froze before frowning.

"Carla? What are you doing here?"

The woman looked you up and down and you blushed when her eyes stopped for a moment on your chest. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I wanted to talk to you but maybe I should wait until you don't have a bat in your hand" she teased lightly

You noticed that you were still holding the wooden stick tightly in your hand. Blushing even more, you leaned it against the wall. When you turned around again, you saw that your friend had approached and she was a few inches from you. You swallowed audibly.

All the way here, Carla had thought and gone over the words she would say to you, she had planned a whole speech for you, and god knows she hated speeches. But she had got her entire cassette erased by seeing you like this.

It was the first time she had admitted to herself that she really found you attractive. A part of her began to wonder if the whole Ty thing hadn't also been in part not to acknowledge her feelings for you.

"Carla?" you mumbled after a while

"Sorry" she jumped a little "I-"

"No, no. I'm sorry" you said "You didn't have to come here to tell me to stay away. You could have sent a message-"

"Why would I tell you to stay away?" she asked with a frown.

You blinked. An hour and she had already forgotten what you had said? You should be grateful, but it honestly hurt you.

"What I said at your house, I...I shouldn't have done it" you sighed

"So it wasn't true?" she asked carefully "Was everything you said a lie?"

"No!" You almost screamed "I just...it wasn't the way and I- I didn't mean to-"

Carla smiled slightly as she watched you babble in front of her. God, how had she not realized how adorable you were? Your lower lip was even trembling.

But she knew you. She knew that once you got flustered and started babbling, there was no stopping you. And she didn't have the time for that, no matter how beautiful you looked doing it. So she only had one option.

You gasped when your friend pounced on you, pressing you against the wall and kissing you deeply. Her hands immediately went to your hips and you moaned against your will when she pressed her chest against yours.

It took you a few moments to recover, but you wrapped your arms around her neck when you did, returning the affection. You didn't know what would happen when you’d ran out of air and had to talk, but to hell with that. You would enjoy the fact that she was kissing you, as you had wanted for so long.

If there was one thing Carla hated more than people themselves, it was having to talk about her feelings, especially this kind. So when you broke the kiss, her mouth immediately traveled to your neck.

You moaned a little when you felt her tongue on your skin. You wanted to continue, you needed to feel her, let her take you right there, but there was still a hideously rational part of you. So you pushed her gently, making her look at you.

"I love you" you whispered "...but I can't be another one of your one night stands"

The woman's heart broke a little when she looked into your eyes. She saw the fear you were feeling, but she also saw love. Love directed at her. No one had ever looked at her like that, not her ex husband, not Ty, no one.

"You aren’t" she promised

"Carla-"

"I swear you are not" she interrupted you. Suddenly, her brain seemed to wake up and the words she had practiced in the car fell out of her mouth "I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry I was so stupid. I was so afraid of being alone, of not deserving of anyone, that I ended up accepting the first thing I could. But now I know that I love you "

"You're lying" you whispered "You...don't feel that way about me"

"I do" she promised

"And why didn't you say anything before?"

"I was scared. I took you for granted, because you were always there for me, no matter what. I ignored my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, the jealousy when I saw you too close to my mother. I didn't want to admit how I felt about you. And I didn't realize that I already had everything I ever wanted in front of me. I'm sorry. "

You looked into her eyes, searching for any trace of lies or mockery. But you didn't find it. She was telling the truth, she reciprocated your feelings.

You smiled at her and pulled her to you for another deep kiss. This time it was she who moaned against your mouth. The two of you poured all your feelings into that kiss, all the tension that you didn't even know had built up between you two.

Carla pulled away and felt a twinge of pride when she saw your swollen lips and the blush that ran from your cheeks to your neck. God you were beautiful.

"Carla I-"

"Shhh, no" she shut you up "you know I suck at this and that I hate romanticism. I already used up what little self-control I had"

You laughed a bit and she wiped away the tears you didn't even know had started to fall down your cheeks. She kissed you again and her hands lifted the towel a little over your thighs.

"Carla-"

"My mother has unsettlingly clear ideas about your body" she said abruptly "Something about lending you a blouse?"

"Oh...that" you laughed nervously "Yeah.. maybe I tried it on in front of her" you admitted

"Well, thank you very much, now I have to live with the knowledge that my mother has seen more of my girlfriend's body than I have."

"Girlfriend?" you smirked

Carla froze. Her cheeks quickly turned red and her eyes couldn't meet your face.

"I-I, w-well, I mean, m-maybe I should have waited a little longer, I-I just thought that-"

You cut her adorable and nervous babbling with a deep kiss that she happily returned.

"Take me to bed, then we discuss the status of our relationship" you said

"Deal"

_________________________

Isis smirked behind her beer when Carla groaned as you and Jackson yelled at her to run. She had no idea how you had managed to convince her to play with you, but here you were.

She suspected that it had little to do with being a "good mother to her son" and more to do with the shorts you were wearing. Either way, Isis was happy that her daughter found what she had been searching for so long.

You laughed when your girlfriend came back to your side with the ball in her hand. Her face was red from exhaustion and she was already sweating. She grunted a little but you pecked her lips to calm her down.

"I really hate this game" she muttered

"It doesn't matter, your girlfriend and your son love it. You'll get used to it" you joked.

You were about to kiss her again when you saw a figure walking towards you. You frowned and your grip tightened on the bat. Carla looked at you confused before following your gaze. She froze when she saw Ty walking towards you two with a bouquet of roses.

"I guess we got to the part where you forgive him" you whispered.

She looked at you and frowned. She intertwined her fingers with yours and kissed you on the cheek.

"Never again" she promised you.

You smiled at her and the two of you waited for Ty to be in front of you. The man looked at Carla, then at your hands and then back at Carla, completely ignoring you.

"We can talk?" He asked her

"No" she answered firmly

"Listen Carla, I made a mistake-"

"Me too" she cut him off "I made the mistake of being with you. To forgive you several times when I knew you would fail me again. No more. Get out of here"

"But-"

"You listened to the lady, buddy. Get out!" You grunted.

"Uh...and you are?" he asked, finally looking at you.

You felt his eyes run up and down your body, stopping a little on your legs. It made you want to throw up and by the way Carla squeezed your hand, you knew she hadn't liked it either. Not one bit.

"My girlfriend" she told him

"Girlfriend?" he scoffed "I thought you didn't want to see more vagi-"

You pointed the bat at his face before he could finish the sentence.

"Unlike you, I know how to use this" you growled "Get out of here before I use your head as a ball"

"You wouldn't" he smiled at you "Hey, there's no need to fight, you two are beautiful and I'm fabulous. Why don't we just put this in bed and be happy?"

You were about to insult him when Carla took the bat from you and used it to hit him hard in the balls. The man doubled over in pain before falling to the ground. You didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him.

"This butt is mine" Carla growled, releasing your hand and grabbing one of your buttocks to draw you closer to her "And nobody else's. If you get close to me or my family again, I'm going to hit a home run with your balls"

You held back your laughter and let her drag you out of there, leaving the poor man lying on the ground.

Carla yelled something about going for ice cream, causing Jackson to run to the car. Isis, unlike you, laughed the whole way. You smiled and took one last look at the roses that were now on the ground.

“That was hot” you whispered to her. Carla smiled and pecked your lips.

Her hand never left your ass until you got in the car.

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KH’s tags: @midnight-lestrange @emilyprentissslut @mochiadria

#x reader #reader insert #imagine #carla dunkler x y/n #carla dunkler imagine #carla dunkler x reader #carla dunkler #carla x reader #bad moms #gay for kathryn hahn #kathryn hahn imagine #kathryn hahn x reader #givecarlaagirlfriendchallenge

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