#These two give me seratonin like nobodies business

[jazzcat247]

It's hot as balls rn, so I made it these gay, old b*the's problem ~(-/_\-)~

[heartbreakgrill]

Best Friends; Matthew Gray Gubler

a/n: THE AMOUNT OF SERATONIN THIS GAVE ME WAS INSANE IM CRYING OMG

description: you’re a makeup artist and mgg is just...outgoing.

K BUT IMAGINE BROS

You’re just a regular ol’ makeup artist (and in this fantasy world, makeup artists are TRAINED TO DO MAKEUP ON POC BECAUSE THEY ALREADY SHOULD BE). It’s season 13 of Criminal Minds and this is your first time working on set because the show you’d been spending the majority of your career on just ended.

You had met the cast and crew at the start up party a few weeks ago, but this was the day. The pressure was on. (Not really, it’s just makeup lol). Anyway, so you’d already set up in the makeup trailer alongside the other artist. Today, scenes were going to be filmed just in the Bureau, so no gore. You doubled checked your list just before 5 am, ready to cross off each actor and actress you were assigned.

“You nervous?” You heard the other stylist, Henry, ask you.

You turned to him, setting down your clipboard. You leaned against the counter and crossed your arms over your sweatshirt clad shirt. You were dressed down because it was so early- a Disney sweatshirt, jeans, slip on Vans, and your glasses instead of your contacts.

“Yeah, a little bit,” you chuckled.

Henry grinned at you, “Don’t be, hun. They’re all really great people.”

“I know, it’s just- I just feel awkward at first, grabbing people’s faces. I know I’m trained for it, but it takes a bit to settle into with new people,” you explained yourself, wiping your sweaty palms off on your jeans.

Henry opened his mouth, but a series of knocks resounded off of the door. You both turned towards it before Henry said, “It’s time.”

You giggled at his dramatic spectacular, turning to wash your hands as Henry let in the first cast members. Aisha and Joe stepped into the trailer. They greeted you with open arms, wide smiles, goofy jokes and polite goodbyes. You felt giddy, high, almost, when they walked out the door.

“So?” Henry asked as you both began to disinfect your areas.

“I feel so much better,” you grinned, folding a towel in half.

The rest of the cast flew past, already making great companionship with you. Henry, too, continued to get to know you between eyeshadow brushes and hairspray. Finally, the last person knocked on the door. It was nearing 6:30 AM, and you were somewhat tired. You yawned into your palm, sighing gently as Matthew Gray Gubler walked in.

“Hello, lady and germ!” He bounded to his chair, the biggest grin on his expression, a coffee cup in hand, and the other shoved into his character pants.

You jumped somewhat in surprised and he laughed at you. “You’re new.”

“Yeah, hi, we met at the party, Y/N,” you reached out your non-yawn hand and shook the one he pulled from his pocket.

“Ah, yes, I remember well. You were wearing very pretty eyeshadow. Green, right? It reminded me of Elpheba, but it definitely brought out the flecks in your eyes,” he rambled on, unashamedly and confidently.

Additionally, he barely made eye contact, it was more here and there as he busied himself with sitting down and crossing his legs. When he was settled, he met your eyes firmly and looked you up and down.

“Except now your wearing glasses.”

Henry laughed at your deadpan expression. Matthew chuckled lightly, too. Henry spoke, “She’s new, remember? Very talkative, but new. And tired, I guess.”

You nodded slightly, “Yes to both. Overwhelmed a little. I like the effort, but I’m not used to your energy. Give me ten minutes, and I promise I’ll get distracted from doing your makeup because I’ll be exchanging sarcastic remarks.”

“Only my character is a profiler, but I can see it,” Matthew spoke and took a sip of his coffee. He then reached to set it down on the makeup counter before hesitating. “Do you have a coaster?”

“Wait, yes, I do! I made sure to bring some just in case. At my old job, we constantly had people leaving rings of coffee on the counter.” You rushed over to your tote bag, which was set on the couch. You rummaged through it as Henry spoke to Matthew, messing about with his hair.

You found the coasters your sister had hand-painted, which ranged from pumpkin to dinosaur designs. You held them out in front of Matthew, who pulled his head from Henry’s hands to look at them.

“Oh, my Gosh! Pumpkins! Defintiley pumpkins!” He pointed excitedly at the coaster in your right hand.

You giggled and set the coaster onto the counter. Matthew thanked you as you politely took his cup and placed it on top of the design.

“I take it you’re a fan of Halloween?” You spoke as you set the others down beside your makeup supplies.

You sat down in the seat beside Matthews, awaiting him as he got his hair done.

He hummed in response, “It’s my favorite holiday.”

“My birthday is two days prior,” you bragged lightly.

Matthew gasped, turning his head to you. “No way! Oh, we are so totally throwing the best Halloween slash birthday party bash this year, then.”

You flushed at his excitement. “You barely know me.” You laughed somewhat.

Matthew shrugged as Henry frustratedly pulled his head back forward. “Stop moving!”

“We’ll be best friends by then, I guarantee it,” he stated.

“Really? Well, shouldn’t best friends know each other’s favorite colors. Favorite foods, movies...”

“Purple, everything except for plain bread, Hocus Pocus...or-“

“No! No ‘ors.’ Final answers only,” you adjusted your glasses and leaned forward.

He looked at you from the corner of his eye and smiled like he had been played. “Hm. Okay. Hocus Pocus it is then.”

“Of course it’s a Halloween movie,” you giggled.

Matthew grinned at that. “Let’s year yours, then, bestie.”

“Okay...” you sighed, tapping your chin, “pink is my favorite color. I love sushie and every other food, but specifically Chinese food is my favorite. And...I can watch Edward Scissorhands like it’s nobody business.”

“Ugh! A classic! I love that film!” Matthew exclaimed.

You nodded enthusiastically, “Yes! I’ve loved it since i was literally a child. My mom says it’s creepy, but I disagree. It’s beautiful. The themes and symbolism are beautiful. Ugh, plus that ice sculpture scene? Unbeatable. Winona Ryder does such a wonderful job portraying innocence which turns into wicked obsession... and Johnny Depp is just gorgeous...”

You trailed off as you realized you were rambling and Matthew was staring at you with sparkling eyes, a slack jaw, and the lightest imprint of his dimples.

“Sorry,” you scratched your leg, practically falling in on yourself.

Matthew scrunched his nose as Henry sighed. “All done. Your turn, chica.”

You stood from your chair and brushed your hair behind your ears. Matthew took your spot, wriggling in it. “Thanks for making it so warm.”

You smiled as you washed your hands. “You welcome.”

Henry touched your shoulder to gain your attention. “I’m going to go get coffee. Want some?”

“Uh, tea, please. Green, with two sweet n low packets,” you listed off.

He nodded and turned to leave. “Thanks so much!” You shouted as he left.

Matthew watched you through the mirror as you began plucking through your materials. You got to work, feeling all flustered now that you were up in his business.

When your hands moved to his face, he hummed. You furrowed your brows and pulled back somewhat.

“Sorry. Your hands are pleasantly warm. I knew that they would be because you’re just very bubbly, but it was still surprisingly wonderful,” he folded his hands in his lap.

“I like the way you talk,” you blurred out. You pursed your lips and looked away from his eyes, continuing to work on his foundation.

“I like the way you blush at everything,” Matthew echoed.

You blushed again. “Sorry. I’m just-“

“Not very outgoing. I can tell.”

“I thought you weren’t a profiler?”

“I’m not. But I’m super duper outgoing, so I can tell when others aren’t. You’re bubbly, but it takes someone who shares your personality to get it out of you,” he rattled off as if he were an expert.

“You seem to know me very well now,” you laughed gently.

“Guess were best friends already, then.”

You leaned back, propping your hands on your hips. “I think we’re, like, soulmates.”

Matthew quirked a brow, “I guess so? But why do you think?”

“Look at your sweatshirt,” you tugged on your own.

His eyes flickered from yours to his. His eyes widened and his jaw went wide. “Oh, my gosh! No way! We have to document this moment on camera.”

“Really?” You giggled as he stood, towering over you.

“Yes! Henry, come quicker!”

The door had swung open when Matthew stood, and Henry ran up the steps. “What’s wrong?”

“You have to take our picture,” Matthew exclaimed, swinging his arm around your shoulders and holding you flush against his side.

Henry looked you up and down and finally noticed your sweatshirts. “Oh, my God, you’re, like, totally mean to be. Let me get my phone.”

After a photo session consisting of many different poses (silly faces, Matthew squishing your cheeks, tugging you onto his back, nearly falling over as he swung his leg into your arms) you finally got him sat back down in his chair.

“Let’s tackle these eye bags.”

TAG LIST: @mantlereid @boxofteenageideas @dinosaursandsocks @ashhdaniellee95 @stephaniemelville-blog @zhangyixingxing1

[genderfluidmorningstar-blog]

On Mental Health, Treatment, and Drugs

You know, I was talking to my grandmother about the use of medication today, and it made me think of one of my favorite stories about therapy that gets passed around every so often in the psych community:

There was a woman with OCD (or anxiety, depending on who is telling the story) who's main obsession involved intrusive thoughts about a curling iron being left on and setting fire to her house, resulting in a compulsion to constantly check it, preventing her from getting a job. This woman goes in to see a therapist because its ruining her life and she needs help. Now all of the therapists colleagues want him to medicate the crap out of her, put her in a mental hospital, really intensive therapy, all of that stuff that therapists would usually do for a woman with severe OCD. But this particular therapist doesn't do that, and the woman still gets her life back. What did he do?

He had the woman take the curling iron to work.

Now this story is pretty much the psych community's version of the ham story or the story about the one olive saving money that gets passed around the business community so often. It's oversimplified and used for a good moral that nobody really listens to or follows, let alone really causes any changes.

But I have been recently thinking about the psych community, and the health community in general, and really sorta.... figuring out where I stand on certain topics. There's this idea in the psych community, and our culture in general really, that anything at all mentally abnormal or unusual needs to be given a diagnosis and "fixed" through medication and therapy and whatnot.

Now I'm going to throw away any pretense of politeness in speech and say, fuck you, that's bullshit.

Traditionally, there has been this idea in psychology that a disorder is only a disorder if it causes distress or dysfunction in a patient. If we are honest with ourselves, that idea has never really been listened to, outside of the cases of maybe not pathologizing religion, culture, and people in bad situations. If we are honest, that last one still happens, but I digress. The issue is that we treat any divergence from the norm as a pathological issue, and we shouldn't. It may be that I am neurodivergent myself, but if certain things are unusual, but don't cause issues, why should we try to change them.

And I do take this idea to the logical extreme. If a person hears voices in their head or sees things that aren't there, but is not bothered or inconvenienced by them (maybe even reassured or comforted by them being there), why do we need to slap a diagnosis of schizophrenia on them and give them psychotropics? Or another instance, if someone has multiple personality disorder (which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) and has two or more distinct personalities with their own separate thoughts, memories, and lives, why do we need to combine them into one, so long as the system functions on a meaningful level? Sure, it's fucking weird, but some estimates put 1% of the population as having DID, about the same amount of people that have autism, and it could seriously be just another, granted unusual, "operating system" of the brain. Speaking of Autism, if flapping and communication aids allow them to function in the work place, who gives a damn if they use them, if they do the job?

Our society has an issue with accepting the unusual, even to the point of pathologizing it. In psychology, humans are said to have a logical fallacy or bias towards believing that others have the same thoughts and opinions as ourselves, and I truly believe that this a culturally acceptable and encouraged form of it. I think that our cultural also encourages a negative view of neurodivergence, and that encourages social dysfunction, which is further demonized and ends up snowballing into an endless cycle of suffering.

I support and will forever encourage neurodiversity to be accepted and accommodated.

But I'm also not a completely optimistic fool, and I know that there are those who do need help.

And in such cases where the person can't function, where they can't handle the voices in their head, where personality two and three get in the way of things, therapy, medication and treatment need to be there to help.

But besides getting them help, we should not judge what helps them. For some people, their depression is helped by getting out in nature, fresh air, and eating better. For some, it's one of the dozens of varieties of therapy. For others, those simply will not work and they need to be medicated for whatever reason. I will never understand or sympathize with those who shame medication. The way that meds work is literally the same way that any other hormone or neurotrasmitter in your body, and the purpose of medication is to replace neurotransmitters that are deficient or reduce and block the ones that are overproduced. I almost want to compare them to game exploits allowing for gold farming, but unfortunately, good mental health will not get you that +5 longsword.

An example of a medication that is easily explainable is Prozac, a SSRI. Prozac is a brand name for the chemical fluoxetine, which in the body is metabolized, or literally changed by the body, into norfluoxetine, which prevents your nerves from reabsorbing seratonin, a chemical that makes you feel happy, and so you feel happier for longer. There is literally a hormone in your body that does that naturally, this is just the storebought version for people who need it, like buying eggs to make a souffle, even though you have chickens in the backyard.

St. John's Wort also does the same thing (I'm pretty sure that they affect the exact same variant of the exact same hormone group, but i don't have that kind of time for that level of research), but the particular chemical found in that plant may not work for all people that Prozac does, and vice versa. This is why there are so many different forms of SSRIs (anti-depressants that work by the method described above) alone, and not all depression is caused by lowered serotonin levels, requiring additional classes of drugs. Yes drug companies are money hungry scum, but humans are also just weird like that.

There are also meds that do things that cannot be replicated in nature. Anti-psychotic medications are necessary, and though certain plants and minerals found in nature can help, I'm sorry, Quetiapine works better in almost all cases.

That being said, there is an issue with overmedication in the western world, especially the US, probably tied to the obsession with pathologizing everything, and it needs to be fixed. Most of the statistics I can find say that most Americans have some sort of prescription (though the numbers I find include non-psychotropic meds, a rant for another day), which is an issue that needs to be tackled, but not by shaming or shunning medications. Not immediately turning to medication would be a good first step, but if meds are necessary, only using them for as long as needed is also a good step. For some people, that is literally the rest of their life. We need to accept that, and stop shaming people for taking medications.

[medicatedcretin]

It's all over, boys - Sat 21/01/2017

We can go home now. I think I’m finally starting to see the end of this withdrawal. It’s been about a month since my last dose of 37.5mg Venlafaxine, and it’s been a rough last couple of weeks. Rough, but tolerable. Made a lot easier by the Christmas break at the start, the New Years break a few days later, and a week off a week and a bit later again (where Jono and I went up to Paihia and stayed in a motel on the beach. It was epic).  I was a mess, of course. An angry, tetchy, impossible son of a bitch. But Jono was amazing. He let me off the hook so many times i lost count. And just when I thought I couldn’t handle it anymore, I’d go mad, I was just too much of a handful to expect anyone to suffer with me with the future so uncertain, he’d be there egging me on, telling me I can do it, I’m not a piece of shit: I’m doing just great, and we’d just power through it. He was my little shoulder angel when I thought my self worth had abandoned me, and I could not have done it without him. I’ll level with you here: I almost broke up with him. I was fully prepared to cut him loose because I really thought it wasn’t fair. I was too much hard work, and my ex was right: nobody would ever be able to tolerate my bullshit. But, bless him, he straight up told me he wouldn’t give up on me. “We are in this together, dammit” he said, “and damned if I’m gonna quit on you now. Not now, not ever.” I tell you, when he said that I cried until I thought I’d shrivel up from dehydration. I don’t deserve this person. It’s getting better. I’m less angry, I barely ever have to take my DHA supplements for the brain shocks: only when I get really tired or stressed. My heart rate is a bit all over the place, but the doc said that’s to be expected. He said my adrenaline supplier gauge is a bit out of whack now that my seratonin levels are getting levelled out and so it’s pumping me full of excess all the time, giving me nasty palpitations and tachycardia. My mum says that this actually runs in the family but good old Egor says I just have to take a couple of beta blockersa day for a week or two and my gauge will reset itself and soon enough, i won’t even need those anymore. I’m on half a seroquel at night for sleep but after a few days I’ll be off those, too. Just on my daily patroptazole for my GORD. I don’t take Strattera every day now. If I’m tired or need to be extra into it at work, I can take one but they don’t seem to be doing much. I can function fine without them, and there’s no nasty side effects if I stop taking them all of a sudden. If you’d like to know how I got through it, here’s a list if the advice I was given, and that actually helped make a difference. I hope anyone wanting to get off medication will be helped by this.

1 - TALK TO YOR DOCTOR BEFORE DOING ANYTHING.  I was an idiot and tried to do it myself, over my holidays, before discussing it with Egor. I know, I know. I got the pep talk from him, too. Don’t try to be a hero. Your doctor knows his shit. Sometimes they fuck up but they know a hell of a lot more than you or mr google does about these things. Tell him your plans and let them help you. It doesn’t have to be a time of immense suffering. It’s always going to be shit, but there are ways you can make it less shit, and talking it through and planning it with your doc is one of them.

2- Routine. Most important thing. This was exactly why my doc told me off for trying to do it during a holiday. Not only do you need your network of support open for business (ie, your doctor, pharmacy etc) but you need a structure to your day that stems from the regular and expected. Wake up at the same time. Activities, boom, boom, boom. Regular bed time. It helped me SO MUCH.

3 - Sleep aids. Boy, will you need these. Insomnia is the quickest way to derail your progress, and it will happen. No sleep, feel shit. Feel shit + feel shit = disaster. It just makes everything seem impossibly hard. Your doc will recommend the best type, but don’t fall for herbal crap. Times like this, you’ll need the heavy duty shit. Usually for a couple of nights to get you back into the real world, then you can use things like magnesium, melatonin, rescue remedy. At first, use what your doc prescribes.

4 - EXERCISE. A walk isn’t enough. Get those endorphins going, every day. At least 30 mins of your heart rate going 1/3 a above its usual. You should be sweating and gasping by the end. Then have a shower, hot or cold (weather and desire dependant). You’re welcome.

5 - Keep busy. I can’t stress this enough. You can’t be sitting around “relaxing”. Nu-uh, not now. Not good. You gotta keep everything moving around in that head of yours, all the time. Simple things. Make a list if you get stuck. Do the washing. Clean the house. 2 minutes breathing exercises. Walk the dog. 1 episode of a good TV show. Go to the library, read a book. Go swimming. Don’t feel like doing anything? too f*king bad. Make yourself. This is where having a relentlessly helpful partner is useful. Annoying af, but you’ll bless him later. You’ll probably be the most productive during this time than ever before in your life.

6 - Pick something you would enjoy doing and schedule it for at least once a week. Look forward to it. If you don’t end up liking it, try something else. An art class, dancing lessons, riding lessons, learn a language, creative writing course. Anything. You don’t have to socialise at it, there’s no pressure to “make new friends” or whatever (if that freaks you out) just pick something you’ll like, and do your best to get a kick out of it. It also has the bonus that its homework is another thing to add to your list of Things To Do.

That’s really it as far as my experience went. I’m still working through it, but the mess I’m wading through now doesn’t feel as thick anymore. I feel like it’s receding. The hardest part is flying headlong into the unknown. Up until now, I’d never had a single day in my adult life living unmedicated. The hardest thing was during the really shitty times, never being 100% sure that it would pass, that things would get better. This was …is… totally uncharted territory. I’m just making this up as I go along. But, I guess, so are most of us. All of us, really. And, for the most part, my days of depending on the familiar are over. I still don’t know who I am, but I’m getting to be okay with that. It’ll come.  Peace out, guys.

[craftydreamlandwasteland-blog]

The Ultimate Muscle Building Food - Power belonging To The Egg

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[imgurlover-blog]

It's all over, boys. 21/01/2017

We can go home now. I think I'm finally starting to see the end of this withdrawal. It's been about a month since my last dose of 37.5mg venlafaxine, and it's been a rough last couple of weeks. Rough, but tolerable. Made a lot easier by the Christmas break at the start, the New Years break a few days later, and a week off a week and a bit later again (where Jono and I went up to Paihia and stayed in a motel on the beach. It was epic). I was a mess, of course. An angry, tetchy, impossible son of a bitch. But Jono was amazing. He let me off the hook so many times i lost count. And just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I'd go mad, I was just too much of a handful to expect anyone to suffer with me with the future so uncertain, he'd be there egging me on, telling me I can do it, I'm not a piece of shit: I'm doing just great, and we'd just power through it. He was my little shoulder angel when I thought my self worth had abandoned me, and I could not have done it without him. I'll level with you here: I almost broke up with him. I was fully prepared to cut him loose because I really thought it wasn't fair. I was too much hard work, and my ex was right: nobody would ever be able to tolerate my bullshit. But, bless him, he straight up told me he wouldn't give up on me. "We are in this together, dammit" he said, "and damned if I'm gonna quit on you now. Not now, not ever." I tell you, when he said that I cried until I thought I'd shrivel up from dehydration. I don't deserve this person. It's getting better. I'm less angry, I barely ever have to take my DHA supplements for the brain shocks: only when I get really tired or stressed. My heart rate is a bit all over the place, but the doc said that's to be expected. He said my adrenaline supplier gauge is a bit out of whack now that my seratonin levels are getting levelled out and so it's pumping me full of excess all the time, giving me nasty palpitations and tachycardia. My mum says that this actually runs in the family but good old Egor says I just have to take a couple of beta blockersa day for a week or two and my gauge will reset itself and soon enough, i won't even need those anymore. I'm on half a seroquel at night for sleep but after a few days I'll be off those, too. Just on my daily patroptazole for my GORD. I don't take strattera every day now. If I'm tired or need to be extra into it at work, I can take one but they don't seem to be doing much. I can function fine without them, and there's no nasty side effects if I stop taking them all of a sudden. If you'd like to know how I got through it, here's a list if the advice I was given, and that actually helped make a difference. I hope anyone wanting to get off medication will be helped by this. 1 - TALK TO YOR DOCTOR BEFORE DOING ANYTHING. I was an idiot and tried to do it myself, over my holidays, before discussing it with Egor. I know, I know. I got the pep talk from him, too. Don't try to be a hero. Your doctor knows his shit. Sometimes they fuck up but they know a hell of a lot more than you or mr google does about these things. Tell him your plans and let them help you. It doesn't have to be a time of immense suffering. It's always going to be shit, but there are ways you can make it less shit, and talking it through and planning it with your doc is one of them. 2- Routine. Most important thing. This was exactly why my doc told me off for trying to do it during a holiday. Not only do you need your network of support open for business (ie, your doctor, pharmacy etc) but you need a structure to your day that stems from the regular and expected. Wake up at the same time. Activities, boom, boom, boom. Regular bed time. It helped me SO MUCH. 3 - Sleep aids. Boy, will you need these. Insomnia is the quickest way to derail your progress, and it will happen. No sleep, feel shit. Feel shit + feel shit = disaster. It just makes everything seem impossibly hard. Your doc will recommend the best type, but don't fall for herbal crap. Times like this, you'll need the heavy duty shit. Usually for a couple of nights to get you back into the real world, then you can use things like magnesium, melatonin, rescue remedy. At first, use what your doc prescribes. 4 - EXERCISE. A walk isn't enough. Get those endorphins going, every day. At least 30 mins of your heart rate going 1/3 a above its usual. You should be sweating and gasping by the end. Then have a shower, hot or cold (weather and desire dependant). You're welcome. 5 - Keep busy. I can't stress this enough. You can't be sitting around "relaxing". Nu-uh, not now. Not good. You gotta keep everything moving around in that head of yours, all the time. Simple things. Make a list if you get stuck. Do the washing. Clean the house. 2 minutes breathing exercises. Walk the dog. 1 episode of a good TV show. Go to the library, read a book. Go swimming. Don't feel like doing anything? too f*king bad. Make yourself. This is where having a relentlessly helpful partner is useful. Annoying af, but you'll bless him later. You'll probably be the most productive during this time than ever before in your life. 6 - Pick something you would enjoy doing and schedule it for at least once a week. Look forward to it. If you don't end up liking it, try something else. An art class, dancing lessons, riding lessons, learn a language, creative writing course. Anything. You don't have to socialise at it, there's no pressure to "make new friends" or whatever (if that freaks you out) just pick something you'll like, and do your best to get a kick out of it. It also has the bonus that its homework is another thing to add to your list of Things To Do. That's really it as far as my experience went. I'm still working through it, but the mess I'm wading through now doesn't feel as thick anymore. I feel like it's receding. The hardest part is flying headlong into the unknown. Up until now, I'd never had a single day in my adult life living unmedicated. The hardest thing was during the really shitty times, never being 100% sure that it would pass, that things would get better. This was ...is... totally uncharted territory. I'm just making this up as I go along. But, I guess, so are most of us. All of us, really. And, for the most part, my days of depending on the familiar are over. I still don't know who I am, but I'm getting to be okay with that. It'll come. Peace out, guys.