#These cant stay in my drafts forever lol

[abcbaldi]

somewhat recent Imnevers (also Textureman makes his first appearance on my account!)

a couple of old doodles nothing special, Anti Catch though! (Below)

Wow its not whiteboard... Joe was a satyr at some point in my headcanon but not anymore (hense the goat horns drawing)

[pinolitas]

my cousins who have money and privilege to be moving back and forth between the US and Mexico treat living in the US like a study abroad program that they can just pick up whenever they want and go back home to tell stories about it im sorry i have to say it they dont have good reason to be doing that when they have kids to raise 😭 youve set up the foundation for a terrible childhood by moving them back and forth and having them live with different people all the time like part of the year they live with their grandma and then with their dad and then with their mom you are fucking up those kids' mental stability 😭😭😭😭

[emerxshiu]

i forgot it was april fools lol. i definitly did not end up sprinkling in a bunch of memes in there, nope, not at all.

I havent checked my dashboard until a few minutes earlier, but now im booping everyone i find in there, its just so damm fun! its kinda sad that its just for april fools, i wish the booping stayed forever like its way too silly i love it.

Oh yeah the drawing yep aight. So uh, i had the idea yesterday and this looks NOTHING like what i had planned, it was just going to be a plain white backgroung, and i was trying to make it look like a pencil sketch (kinda). and simple coloring. but i had a lot of problems and drawing this ended up being really frustrating but im kinda happy with the result even if it difers so much from the og idea.

also here is a clean version (aka no memes)

i tend to change my idea as im drawing so after i realized this was not going to look like i thought, i tried some effects and i came up with the idea of making it look...off.

Backgrounf with saturated colors consisting of red and blue and a fecto elfilis who looks rather dreamy, wich is totally not kinda inspired by isolated isles and high school musical 2 believe it or not (im confused as to how that was present in my mind as inspiration but i guess anything works as a reference) and contrasting with the darker background from how light and glowy i made him.

Fun fact: when i drew elfilis here, they were reminding me of a bunny, so you could kinda count this as a bit of an easter post since im probably going to forget to do something for that.

fun fact 2: this image is based on a fanfic im writing right now, i havent posted it yet, and when i do im pretty sure i'll put it into the Anonymous collection, since what im writing is very different from my usual, i tend to write about my splatoon ocs or sometimes about kirby characters, most of these fics tend to be general with not a lot of archieve warnings and stuff (save for one but that one was very very tame and just had an implication of a character dying at the end) and they're oneshots, most of them, this one is also a oneshot. i just enjoy writing that, but its a little bit....how to say it? bloody, i just have like the start made and its probably going to take me a while to finish, im also thinking of reading it multiple times since most of my works are usually just the first draft. but uh since its quite different and has that im quite scared of the reception it might have when i post it, in fact a lot of times i dont post stuff since even tho i know i shouldnt worry about others, i still do like an idiot, i just cant help caring about what other people think of me. and yeah basically its just not like the usual fluff i write.

next post might be splatoon related since im redesigning some ocs i had, or it might be princess peach showtime because my father got me the game and im loving it

Thank you for listening to my unnecesarily long rambles and Jambuhbye!

[koizumicchi]

Fantasia LOVE&KISS English Summary/Translation Part II

Confession Executive Committee Fantasia LOVE&KISS Light Novel English Summary/Translation Part II

Draft: HoneyWorks Author: Kousaka Mari

~

Introduction Part I

—–

T/N: Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

-----

ACT V

aizou decided to add an adlib on the dungeon scene with aoi (the sister of the princess). he asked aoi to do it along with him. aoi was reluctant at first because the director might get angry. after all, the adib was added without permission. but she agreed still since aizou’s adlib was interesting. the director was amused by it. he’s holding his laughter (aizou saw) but when he sees aizou looking at him, he shifted his expression lol. after that, the tense atmosphere in their rehearsals became lighter. at the corridor, aizou’s looking at the script when yuujirou walked out of the practice room. yuujirou: otsukaresama desu aizou: o-otsukare he was taken aback because greetings like that from yuujirou were rare.

~ aizou asked yuujirou to practice with him (for their lines) and says that even though they have the most scenes and lines together, they havent practiced with each other at all. yuujirou agrees but says, he wont add strange adlibs like aizou hahahaslfjslfjsl and he mentions about the rumors that aizou was wooing his co-stars (said by aoi when aizou asked help from her and rino; that was why aoi was so wary of him at first). yuujirou, jokingly: you shouldnt woo them. it’s impolite aizou: you’ve eavesdropped on me!! yuujirou: not my fault you were talking in the hallway ~ after the practice for the scene in the cathedral.. yuujirou asks the director what’s the difference between his acting before and today. the director gave his OK and is satisfied. before, yuujirou had to re-do that scene several times in the span of 2 hrs. so he was puzzled. director: dont you understand? (he’s not angry but calm) yuujirou: i dont know. i did not act different. i acted the same way i did.

director: you’d been standing on the stage on your own. today, your partner is there with you. director: you two. your performance today wasn't bad. *leaves* yuujirou: ....i don't understand aizou: that’s right. what you lacked was the feeling of respecting your partner more. yuujirou: *glares at him with eyes that were full of dissatisfaction* what kind of mood are you in, you’re just a daikon (an unskilled actor who overacts) aizou: don't call me a daikon!!! yuujirou: you said it yourself. that your acting is a daikon. aizou: at that time! i’m evolving and growing everyday! you’re mistaken if you think i’d stay as a daikon forever! yuujirou: and just where? didn't you fumbled on your lines three times today? you made a mistake and covered it with an adlib! aizou: i arranged it so! well....the lines i fumbled on today was because today’s lunch wasn't tuna mayo..? it was an umeboshi onigiri yuujirou: what, are you passing your own wrongs to the umeboshi onigiri? aizou: it’s your fault; you monopolized the tuna mayo onigiri! and that’s two...give one to me! yuujirou: don't wanna! we played rock paper scissors twice and you lost both times! aizou: even so! you should at least give one to your partner!! it’s not enough for you....ouch! dont step on me! yuujirou, face impudent: i will never hand over tuna mayo to aizou ever again! *turns away from aizou* aizou: what are you saying, you haven’t given me at least one!!!

aizou’s thoughts: you’re really not cute at all!!!!!!

~ after rehearsals, aizou has singing lessons for the musical. it’s because he still cant sing the song well (the song in the cathedral, where yuujirou will play the piano in accompaniment). he still hasnt improved. it’s not the same as singing when recording their songs. when he sings for the musical, his voice comes out shaky. yuujirou was picked up by uchida earlier, for a photoshoot. aizou walking home alone. it’s raining, but he has an umbrella. although the drops of rain damp his shoulders. he thought back on the time he couldnt sing. he could speak, but when he tries to sing, he loses his voice. he saw a doctor for an examination, thankfully, it wasnt anything abnormal; but the doctor said it was due to stress. after a while, he started to play his father’s guitar again. he was able to sing a little, but he didnt want anyone to listen to it. but he regrets that time now. if only he used that time more carefully, then he’s a different person now. maybe he could sing well and this musical would be a piece of cake. he wanted more time. but the people around him wont wait until he grows up. aizou: it cant be helped.... and then he meets IV. aizou: why are you here, IV-san? IV: i’m on my way from the agency. oh right, YUI’s worried about you. He was all ‘Aizou is terribly unwell that he refuses my invitations to eat ramen...’

aizou smiles awkwardly. it’s not like he isn't in the mood for ramen but he thinks he whined to YUI with something like, ‘I’m not good at singing’ but aizou thought he couldnt ask IV to mentor him, because he knows IV is busy. IV: do you have time now, aizou? aizou: eh? IV: because it seems that you need me right now *laughing as if he knows aizou’s at a loss on what to do* aizou, realizing he needed IV more than ever: yoroshiku onegaishimasu! IV bring him to a LIVE house. and when they came inside, aizou was in awe. it’s used by IV. well, only until someone buys it. aizou realized this is like a hideout for IV. aizou shows IV the music sheet for the song and tells him the details. IV lets him sing on stage here, to which aizou questions if he should sing without a mic. IV didnt give him one. IV tells him to go on. aizou’s reluctant. it’s a song he has trouble with singing....and it’s not easy to let his voice reach where IV is (in the audience seats) without a mic. but he tries anyway.

-----

ACT VI

LOVE&KISS AU scene in the throne room: after coming back from the mountain, aizou and yuujirou headed to the place where they would meet the sister of the princess. however, guards were waiting for them there and they were captured and brought before the princess. the sister of the princess stands beside the throne. this is where the princess calls the monsters attacking the town at night her ‘little children’, who are just taking an evening stroll and yet the humans hurt them. this angers aizou. the people of the town are suffering. his hand’s on his rapier but he couldn't draw it yet. the princess promises to spare aizou and yuujirou’s lives if they give her the sword they found in the mountain, but in exchange, they have to pledge allegiance to the princess for the rest of their lives. aizou refuses and tells her that just how far is she gonna look down on them. princess: huh, what are you unhappy about? aren't you traveling entertainers? then dance and sing for me. entertain me. it’ll keep me out of boredom. aizou flat out refuses again. the princess laughs and says she doesnt care anymore if they’re traveling entertainers or thieves; or what their identities are, really. they’re going to be her little birds anyway. she promises if they fight for her, she’s going to treat them well. she gives them choices: swear their loyalty to her, be prisoners, or become food for the monsters. princess: see, i’m generous! aizou chooses none. aizou: we ae the ones to decide what we will do. who will obey you!? the princess gets annoyed and calls them selfish for not choosing the options she generously gave. she signals the guards to seize them. “i dont want anyone who doesnt listen to me.” her little sister blocks it though. she begs the princess to stop, kneeling. she begs her to return back to her old self and cries. princess: i see. how disappointing. you, who i cherished- i have no use for you anymore. she signals the guards to get her sister too. but the guards hesitated. princess: what are you doing? hurry up and do it! aizou: that person is your sister!!! guards surrounded them. princess: so? will you beg for the sake of my sister? then, kneel to me, kiss my foot and swear your loyalty. and then i’ll forgive. aizou was about to strike her but it was yuujirou who stopped him with his arm. yuujirou: if you ask me to beg forgiveness, then i’ll do it as much as i can. aizou: OI !!! aizou’s yelling in anger but yuujirou silenced him up with a look. yuujioru says to the princess that they dont want to waste their lives. the princess comments they’re different from the other idiots she came across and pretty much know where they stand. yuujirou hands her the sword with the rose crest - owned by the late king. the princess orders the guards to put down their swords and they stepped aside. yuujirou: please forgive our rude and unreasonable behaviors. he takes her leg and slowly brings her foot closer to his mouth. the princess looks at him with eyes squinted, clearly amused. however, he stops just before his lips touched it and looks up at the princess. yuujirou tells her that they will not pledge their loyalty. and that when they are done with their business in this country, the princess should let them leave the castle. but before that, they will receive the reward for fulfilling the promise. he’s talking about the wish-granting jewel. the princess tells him that jewel doesnt exist anywhere in the world, or in this country. she doesnt know where it is either. the castle has been searched for it but there was none found. she wants to know too where it is. the legends say that once a dragon is defeated, its body shattered, it will leave behind a wish-granting jewel. the jewel from the time the late king defeated the dragon may have been lost but a dragon re-appeared in this country. yuujirou pulls out his dagger. “if we defeat the dragon, then we can obtain another jewel!” yuujirou swings the blade. however, it didnt reach the princess. the princess’ eyes turned crimson and a cold smile spread on her lips. a freezing wind blew. the same cry aizou and yuujirou heard in the mountain echoed through the castle halls. the dragon was there in the throne. her entire body is crystal clear but the area around the chest was glowing bright red. aizou: is this real???!!!! the dragon flaps his wings and the winds brought by it shatter the stained glass in the hall. sharp ice was pouring down. dodging, yuujirou rushed over to aizou and grabbed him by the arm. yuujirou: the bow??? aizou comes to his senses and hands yuujirou the bow he had entrusted to him. yuujirou sets aside the cloth wrapped around it. the ice that fell to the ground were now monsters. aizou: arent those- arent those the monsters that appeared at the town??? but wait-  why did the princess transform into a dragon? can a dragon be transformed into a human????

yuujirou gets ready to shoot arrows. his arrow pierces the eye of a monster who was about to attak the sister of the princess. aizou immediately stabs another monster using his rapier. they pulled the royal sister to safety behind a pillar. sister: get out of this place asap!!! dont think about me!!! there is no end to the monsters. once you defeat one, another will appear. the guards were already gone; they ran away. they were the only ones here. aizou and yuujirou: *back to back*

aizou: what are we going to do? you were so rude that the princess became very angry.

yuujirou: no. i didnt expect that she’d be so angry, she’d turn into a dragon.

yuujirou kills the monster that aizou kicked away, with an arrow.

aizou: liar! you knew! or rather, dragons dont do that normally! how would it turn back to being human???

yuujirou, after shooting another arrow: who knows. at times like this, dont they return back to their former selves with a passionate kiss. i don’t know though.

aizou, with an astonished face: you have a point.

aizou: this is your fault so you should try to do it.

yuujirou: no. impossible. she hates me. you should try it instead.

aizou: not me. i’m a little- i’m scared to.

there’s a blizzard now and when the dragon flaps his wings, there’s a crack in the castle walls. aizou and yuujirou turn pale and fell silent.

yuujirou: ….why don’t we try and ask her which kiss would she choose.

aizou: you try and muster up your courage then.

a part of the ceiling is blown away.

yuujirou, shaking his head: absolutely impossible.

before you can even kiss that dragon, you’ll be swallowed whole.

the sister explains again that it’s not the true princess. and then, a loud laughter echoes and the princess emerged from the dragon’s back. she commanded the dragon to crush the nasty thieves. aizou, staring blankly and then pointing at it in surprise: wait- didnt the princess turn into that dragon???!!!!

royal sister, glaring: i told you several times that that dragon is not my sister!!!!

aizou smiles wryly. anyway, if we don't do something about the dragon then the princess wont return back to normal. yuujirou,frowning: either way, the only way to get the jewel is to defeat the dragon. he looks at the dragon, and grins, trying to curb his resentment. yuujirou: then it’s decided. yuujirou checks his arrows. he shouldnt waste it. no matter how many monsters they defeat, it will only re-appear. he says to aizou that he’ll support him and then aizou can jump while the dragon is distracted. yuujirou’s arrows are not powerful enough to inflict fatal wounds. in order to kill the dragon in a single blow, he has to rely on aizou’s rapier. after staring at yuuirou’s face, aizou places a hand on his waist and sighs a little.

aizou: do you understand? i cant take that princess (the royal sister) with me. you’ll have to fight while covering for her. but it’s the only way.

he knows it’s reckless but if they fail, they won’t make it out alive. sister: i have no intention of being a hindrance to the two of you. you can think of me as not being here. i have no choice but to rely on you. the ceiling crumbles and the three of them runs. aizou, behind the pillar on the right. and yuujirou and the royal sister on the left, behind a pillar as well. yuujirou tells her to not move here and he leaves. he grabs his arrows and puts it on his bow. he closes his eyes, exhales deeply and concentrates. just as the dragon spreads its wings to fly up, yuujirou shoots arrows towards its wings. the dragon roars and flaps its wings. a gust of wind blew towards them and his hat flew away. but there’s no time to worry about that. the arrow hits the dragon’s eye. aizou jumps up but at that moment, the dragon swept its wings. aizou jumps backwards to avoid it and stumbles. the tip of his broken rapier goes flying while spinning, and then piercing the floor. there’s blood dripping from the cut in aizou’s forehead. he gasps for breath. with a broken sword, he fights the monsters that attack him. yuujirou was surrounded by monsters too and couldn't even rush to his aide.

yuujirou’s arms that drew the bow were weak. only five more arrows left. there’s his dagger but using only that as a weapon would be impossible. he grits his teeth and counteracts the thoughts in his head. the princess reads his mind and sneers. “it’d be better if you give up. no matter how many of you are, you cant match me. all is for naught.” aizou: whether it is useless or not, we wont know unless we try! yuujirou’s eyes widen at aizou’s strong tone. aizou points the broken sword to the dragon. a strong will is reflected in his eyes, conveying he has no intention of giving up. if they gave up here, then everything will definitely be for naught. they haven't gotten anything yet, or accomplished anything. it’s always been much easier to drop everything and run away. perhaps a wise and the right decision. however, why were they born in this world, for what purpose are they continuing to live for, the ‘answer’ to that will remain to be undiscovered. yuujirou grips his bow tightly and looks around the hall. he sees the sword of the late king between the rubble and ice, surrounded by monsters. the guard probably threw it away in haste as he ran. yuujirou tried to jump and get it, but a sharp pain coursed through his leg and he involuntarily fell to his knees. a monster was attacking him from behind but he thrusts his dagger into its eyes. yuujirou grabs his knee to suppress the trembling. as yuujirou clenches his teeth, the royal sister runs from behind the pillar. she’s aiming for the sword. she managed to get it, but the monsters were surrounding her. so she threw the sword to yuujirou, and falls to the floor with a scream.

as soon as he got the sword, yuujirou immediately lifted himself up and turned to aizou. he screams for aizou to take the it. aizou turns to him, yuujirou’s voice reaching him. yuujirou forces himself to stand on his wounded leg and threw the sword with everything he got. aizou pushes the monster away from him; he jumps out and reached for the sword and pulls it out of its scabbard. meanwhile, yuujirou grabs his remaining arrows and aims them to the dragon. the arrows pierce the wings but as he shoots more, the dragon roars and glared at him. aizou runs then, and without delay, he jumps. yuujirou picks up his last remaining arrow and draws his bow with all the strength he has. the arrow forces the dragon to lean back, and almost at the same time, aizou’s sword pierces deep into the center of its chest. the dragon’s body shatters and the princess on its back loses consciousness and falls. the royal sister jumps out to catch her in time. together, they laid on the floor. aizou, who landed, staggers and lets out a voice. “there we go.” the monsters in the hall disappeared. the frozen walls and floors thawed. blood dripped down yuujirou’s feet. yuujirou: .....! he can no longer stand and he immediately drops the bow and puts his hands and knees on the floor. he has no strength left. he takes a breath...and suddenly...he’s floating in the air. he opens his eyes in surprise and sees aizou. aizou, who’s holding yuujirou’s knees and shoulders with both arms. yuujirou grabs aizou by the shoulder. aizou: you seem much more benevolent/tender-hearted to me. he says while supporting yuujirou’s arm around his shoulder, and laughs. yuujirou in surprise, unintentionally looked at his face. his brows furrowed and he turns away from aizou. yuujirou: this is unnecessary help... it turned out to be a strong way of expression. however, without aizou’s help, nothing would have been possible. yuujirou’s eyes narrows slightly but a smile spreads across his lips. that’s the time. raise your gaze and notice what is in front of you. “....it’s not snow....” the shattered body of the dragon, it’s like a grain that emits a small brilliance. yuujirou and aizou watches in surprise as it all gathers and turns into crystals: a transparent yellow stone that seems to be collected sunlight, and a dark blue stone, like the deep sea. the two look at each and shouts, “the jewel!” yuujirou nearly falls as he steps forward. aizou grabs his arm and pulls him up. yuujirou reaches out a hand to the shining blue stone. aizou stares at the yellow stone that had fallen in his hand, his eyes shining in joy. the both of them had traveled far, placing their hope in this stone. when yuujirou opens his hand, a blue light emanates from it. making sure it is the jewel in his hand, yuujirou grips the stone firmly once again. yuujirou’s thoughts: i finally obtained it!! ~ the princess is back to normal. and she tells them what her father once told her: if a dragon were to bring disaster to this country again, a brave man will appear, defeat the dragon, and bring salvation to this country. princess: the two of you deserve to be called heroes who saved our country. words of gratitude alone are not enough to repay you. aizou: we’re not heroes or men of valor though... aizou puts his hands behind his head and looks at yuujirou, as if at a loss on what to do. yuujirou, hands on his hips and smiling: isnt it just fine to be traveling entertainers passing by? aizou: yes, that’s about right for us. ah, but- these stones, can we get this? it’s a promise in the first place. aizou shows the stone he’s holding. the intense glow has already softened. it’s a pale, warm sheen now. yuujirou’s stone is also enveloped in a blue transparent light. princess: of course. it’s something you both obtained. it’s meant for you two. i have heard that the stone, which contains the power of a dragon, grants the wish of those who possesses it and protects them. i am certain it will bring good fortune on your journey ahead. royal sister: when you visit this town again, please stop by the castle. me and my sister will welcome you! aizou: by saying that, you’re not going to throw us into the dungeons again, are you? royal sister: i really really really want to welcome you this time! the two sisters both swear to aizou and yuujirou that they’ll defintely show in their next visit what this town looked like during the reign of the late king, where everyone lived in peace and prosperity.

-----

ACT VII

every after rehearsals, aizou and IV meet in the LIVE house. aizou sings on the stage without a mic while IV listens at the very far end of the audience seats. this time, after their practice, IV gives him a C=cup of black coffee. IV has his own cup of the same coffee as well.

IV says to aizou to have more confidence; aizou should realize he has more potential than he thinks.

aizou: i dont know. YUI-san told me the same. i can do it, but there are also things that i can’t do. i dont have the intention for that...but do people see it that way

IV: doesnt that mean to the point of view of others, they think you are capable to do more?

aizou: i think you think too highly of me.

IV: is that so? *looks at aizou with a gentle smile*

aizou: i’m not capable of a lot of things...

‘unlike yuujirou’ - aizou swallows these words along with the bitter coffee he’s drinking.

IV, murmuring: this is certainly grave.

he lets out a troubled sigh.

IV: does it mean then, that we chose you in the audition because we think too highly of you?

aizou: .....!

IV then says that during that time, only one should have passed the audition. but FTIV remained firm. not just yuujirou, but aizou as well, should not be dropped, no matter what.

IV: are you saying that this too means we give you too much credit?

aizou: IV-san....

IV smiles at aizou and pats him in the shoulder.

IV: prove it to me. that we made the right judgment at that time.

------

rehearsal for the throne room scene where the princess ordered yuujirou to kneel and ask for forgiveness.

yuujirou’s acting draws aizou in and almost made him forget he’s on stage rather than in the ‘other world’. aizou sees that what’s transpiring here now is not the partner he knows, not yuujirou of “LIPxLIP”. aizou’s sure yuujirou’s hasnt been on-stage for a long time but he still dreams of being on one. the one who’s here right now is “someya yuujirou” who continued to practice and worked hard behind the scenes.

aizou realizes he has to stand on the same stage as this yuujirou and perform on the same level as him. realizing this, he felt how unreasonable he had been. more than anyone, he knows how much yuujirou treasures “LIPxLIP” and how big his dream is for their unit. yuujirou’s trying to protect them with all the power he has in him. yuujirou’s thoughts are the same as aizou.

aizou had chosen yuujirou to be his partner, for his own dream to come true and to continue standing on the stage they both aimed for. a place, a world, that a single person can’t reach - but together they are able to see it.

aizou thought that he and yuujirou meant to fight back-to-back...but...

aizou’s thoughts: ...when did we end up leaning on each other? even though we told each other to not drag us down....

there’s a fifteen minute break. yuujirou returns to his chair and wipes his sweat with a towel. aizou watches him from a distance.

aizou’s thoughts: then he will have to carry my part of the baggage as well... in order to be equal, to stand next to him, there are things i have to overcome.

yuujirou suddenly looks at him. when their eyes met, he had a slightly puzzled look on his face. aizou doesnt look away and clenches his fists.

aizou’s thoughts: i have to overcome yuujirou. why did i forget that- even though there had always been a wall in front of me.

aizou turns his face away and presses his lips together. he quickly leaves the rehearsal room.

because if he can’t overcome it, he will not be able to lighten yuujirou’s burden.

from now on, he can’t leave his baggage and let his partner walk with it. no matter what.

----

aizou sings again in the LIVE house while IV listens at the far end of the room. afterwards, IV gives him a rare applause.

IV: good. for now, this is the end of the lesson. the rest is up to you.

aizou bows and and thanks him. after he began taking lessons from IV, the sensei who’s been also giving him rehearsal lessons said that his voice had stabilized and his voice had grown extensive and he passes. with his, he should be able to make it into the actual performance. as IV said, the rest is up to aizou.

aizou: it’s all thanks to IV-san. i’ll send you tickets so please come see it with everyone (from FT4).

aizou mentions that he’s indebted to everyone in FT4 after all. and he also said to IV to tell YUI that next time, aizou’s going with him to eat ramen.

the butai’s coming close so IV asks him how are the rehearsals.

aizou: i wonder...but i think that all i can do after that is to do everything i can.

aizou knows there are many things he lacks. he’s worried about how the people who’s see the musical would feel about the performance. but he has to believe in the efforts he have given. even if he makes a mistake on stage, even if he’s laughed at, this is everything he has.

IV: that’s right...i’m happy you’ll let us see our butai. i’ll take them with me as well.

aizou: yes

IV: you mentioned before you’re not capable of many things, right? but you should appreciate what you have. you are capable more than you think and are loved by many people.

aizou makes an expression that doesn't understand what IV is saying.

IV: someday, you’ll realize that what you take for granted is a special gift given to you. so until then, don't forget what i said.

aizou’s thoughts: a gift given to me, huh.

~

on the last rehearsal, a day before the actual performance, rino mentions that everyone started to have fun in the rehearsals, even the director has a good time too, after the ‘adlib incident’. the director is still strict, but he laughs a lot in the scenes where aizou’s in. most of the ideas aizou presented to the director are adapted to the production.

rino: im sure yuujirou thinks so too. up until then, he appears to strain himself but after, it seems he relaxes.

aizou thinks that what she said must be true, as she’s the one practicing dialogues with yuujirou.

aizou: although i didn't understand at all....

but certainly, since then, yuujirou had not wrinkled his brows or had a stern expression. perhaps it’s also because he’s no longer clashing with the director.

rino: aizou is really amazing. he moves a lot of people.

aizou: what i did was a small thing though....

rino: but it’s something no one else could do.

she hands aizou a small bag. inside are lemon-colored candy in a transparent bag. it’s similar both in color and shape with the stone aizou of the musical obtains after the dragon was defeated.

rino: let me bestow our country’s specialty, the ‘mysterious stone candy’, to the gallant traveler.

rino jests before leaving aizou.

aizou’s thoughts: mysterious stone candy....

(it’s in his and aoi’s adlib before ww) he also broke down in laughter. ~ when manager uchida called aizou and yuuijrou over at the side of the stage, yuujirou sees the bag aizou was carrying. yuujirou: what have you got there?

aizou shows the candy wrapper he’s holding. aizou: mysterious stone candy. it was given to me by the princess. amazing, right? seems like it will be sold at the goods section tomorrow. it’s packed in a cardboard box. yuujirou: what’s this? isn’t it worthless? or rather, when did it become a part of the goods? when aizou was crestfallen, the mysterious stone candy disappeared from his hand. aizou: ah! when he raised his voice and looked at yuujirou next to him, yuujirou’s grinning. yuujirou: aizou doesn't like sweets so i’ll take it! aizou: geez. i cant let my guard down around you. he sighs. it’s his mistake for showing something sweet in front of yuujirou. uchida gave them the bow and rapier. both of them put on their hats. in 15 minutes, the final rehearsals will start. uchida, smiing: then i wish you the best, you two! aizou and yuujirou answers with a ‘yes!!’ after exchanging glances with each other, they did what they always do before LIVE performances (like in the kono sekai film i think!!) ----- scene: cathedral aizou’s voice became hoarse (but it’s written in the script). aizou told himself to calm down. he cant mess up or else the scene will be ruined. yuujirou plays the organ and the first sound echoes in the venue. hearing that sound, aizou feels like he was patted on the back with a ‘hang in there’. so he sings, and his voice spreads as if wrapping the venue itself. aizou, who was singing slowly, opens his eyes in confusion. the moonlight was shining from above (it’s artificial light). he didnt use the mic during the lessons with IV. even though the mic now is picking up his singing voice properly, he’s still surprised at how much his voice resonates. it’s completely different from the usual LIVE performances. the sound of the organ yuujirou’s playing and aizou’s voice envelopes the entire venue. aizou feels good. he didnt know if it’s the effect of the lessons with IV, or the sound effects here in the venue, or the tuna mayo onigiri he bought at a konbini (convenience store) earlier this morning...but it’s different than usual. his singing voice is stable, and he can sing just as he thinks how to. the high notes that were difficult to reach during the lessons come out beautifully now. then, at this time, aizou finally remembers the way he sang in the first singing competition he joined. it’s the same then and now. aizou thinks here that when he couldn't sing when he was little, he probably put everything (including the way he sang and the memories he didn't want to remember) inside the box in his heart. he was afraid to open it as there were a lot of things he didnt want to see. but he knew it wasnt all bad memories. he was very happy to win the competition. but still, he put threw it all in a box and kept it into the deepest recesses of his mind. he didnt intend after all to see it again, or remember it. because he felt back then, that even if he sang or won the championship, he had no use and no one needed him. but as IV said, it is a gift given to him - a special one. what he’s looking for, what he needs, it’s always been inside him all along. he didn't lost the key to the box he hid in his heart. all he needed was to have the courage to open it. yuujirou stops the accompaniment at the middle. that isn't in the script. aizou’s singing voice echoes. as soon as he’s finished singing, the tears that accumulated in his eyes spilled out. afterwards, he lifted his head. the guards are looking at him, their lines forgotten. aizou looks at yuujirou involuntarily, yuuirou’s looking at him, his eyes wide in surprise. and then, the audience gave aizou a big round of applause. the director, who’s watching in the middle of the first floor, is clapping his hands. the screenwriter, and the dance and singing sensei who gave him lessons, are also clapping, along with the other staff behind the second floor seats. yuujirou’s laughing and clapping his hands as well. the guards are also laughing and clapping their hands for him. although today isn’t the actual performance at all. aizou tightly closes his eyes and bows, as if holding back the welling up tears in his eyes. yuujirou: see, you could sing! the day when he was standing on the stage of the concour, he felt like he was laughing proudly. after the rehearsals, the co-actors and staffs came over to aizou and expressed their glee. the director even gave him a pat on the shoulder. so it mean aizou got a passing grade. aizou thinks he made it just in time; he should be able to take the challenge tomorrow. and strangely enough, he doesn't feel anxious. he asks if this is what one calls ‘confidence’? because now, he feels like he can sing any song, and any number of songs. he felt like he wasn't singing enough today. and realizes he’s being too carried away lol. anyways, he’s in a state where he can keep continuing until the final day of the performance.

~ the staff finished changing the props to the snow mountain. yuujirou climbs the stairs of the mountain. staffs hurriedly left the stage. aizou tried to tie his rapier to his waist but he hears a click sound. he turns around- and sees the bow yuujirou was holding falling down the stairs. aizou’s eyes widen when he sees yuujirou’s body falling backwards. aizou throws his rapier and jumps to catch yuujirou. aizou misses the steep stairs and catches yuujirou with both arms, but aizou himself stumbles and falls on his butt. a frightened staff rushes over. manager uchida shouts, “yuujirou, aizou, are you alright?” yuujirou: i’m fine.... he got up, but his complexion was pale. it seems he couldn't stand on his own, so aizou lent his shoulder to him and they stood up together. yuujirou was taken to the hospital and returned to the agency at around 6 PM. aizou asks manager uchida where yuujirou is. yuujirou’s resting in the room and when aizou went to see how he was doing, yuujirou’s stuffing his cheeks with tuna mayo onigiri. he seems to be in good health. aizou lets out a big sigh. according to uchida, yuujirou was only dizzy due to hunger and lack of sleep. aizou was glad his body moved immediately to catch yuujirou. aizou: did you not eat? aizou sat down on the chair opposite of yuujirou. yuujirou nods as he eats the onigiri. yuujioru: i was so busy, i forgot.... the reason why yuujirou sounds like he was depressed was because he was reflecting on the fact that it became a big fuss. aizou: hey, you....dont forget it. it’s important to take care of yourself. you know that. yuujirou’s sleeping during lunch break and hadn't touched his bento. aizou’s thoughts: he probably wasn't able to sleep much at home... aizou, muttering: well, it’s my fault as your partner that i didn't look out for you. yuujirou glared at him. yuujirou: ha? aizou leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hand. he turns his face to the side. aizou: i’m relieved that you’re the same as usual. but...will you be okay tomorrow? yuujirou: of course. i was just hungry. and also sleepy.... aizou: geez..are you even eating properly at home? yuujirou: i haven't eaten. aizou: why? don't you eat sukiyaki everyday? yuujirou: whose family eats sukiyaki everyday??? when yuujirou’s about to reach for the second serving of the onigiri, the door slams open. both of them were startled. it’s the president lol. she calls them with a loud voice. she comes over to them and grasps yuujirou’s and aizou’s hands tightly and says she cannot overlook this matter. she tells them that she’ll take them to a yakinuku restaurant. uchida rushes to search for a good place. president: get ready as we’re leaving immediately. the meat is waiting. and then she leaves. screams of joy from the staff outside the room can be heard in the hallway. everyone’s going to eat yakiniku tonight lol. “the yakiniku is special.... “i heard...” aizou and yuujirou look at each other and stand up from their chairs. “yattaaaaaaa!!!!” they high-fived with big smiles on their faces. ~ the first day of the performance is a success. it’s even trending on sns. aizou goes to see the stage one more time before he heads home for the day. there’s still a few staff working but the lights on the audience’s seats were turned off; only the lights on stage were on. aizou sees the folding fan usually held by the director and smiles. he remembers their struggles he and yuujirou had to endure. but even so, the made it to this day. aizou sits by the stage and looks at the unoccupied audience seats. to him, it feels like he’s in a dream, like he’s really there in the another world. “the musical’s fun, isn’t it?” aizou says to yuujirou standing next to him. aizou’s facing the audience seats. aizou cant wait for tomorrow’s performance and heknows he wont be able to sleep tonight because of the excitement. he didnt feel the pressure and the anxiety he had before. aizou: everyone’s laughing quite a bit. there were people who cried too after it was over. yuujirou: aizou’s adlibs were also a hit. aizou, confidently: right? i’m an idol and entertainer, after all. yuujirou looks at him with eyes wide open. and then, yuujirou: what do you mean, who told you that? *laughs* aizou replies that it’s morita-san, the old man from the shop they frequent. morita, who came to see the butai, gave him a message saying ‘i was moved!’. FTIV will come in senshuuraku (performance on the last day). they sent congratulatory flowers though. and a large flower stand is displayed outside - from “flower shop hanayama” aizou: did your father and mother come? yuujirou: no. there’s a performance in kyoto so they went there. my little brother is there too. aizou: ah, i see. aizou’s thoughts: so you didn't even eat. i’m sure there’s a maid but if he comes home late from practice, he might be tired and not have an appetite. aizou: you said they’d be back by senshuuraku. so aren't they coming to see it then? yuujirou: it would be nice if my father comes too. aizou’s thoughts: yuujirou still wants to be recognized by his father. aizou: do you want your father to come and see you? aizou looks at yuujirou. aizou: am i wrong? yuujirou: who knows. i don't think it’s a good idea. yuujirou’s looking at the audience seats but lowers his gaze. aizou: it’s not good. you can pull your mother and bring her here. this is the premiere of your first stage play. it’s not kabuki but if they see the you right now, i’m sure they’ll reconsider.. because even the director, who was like a demon, was convinced. yuujirou, murmuring: it’s not that i want to go back there now...even if i go back, there wont be anything i can do.... aizou: i know. yuujirou: father is father and i cant do anything about it. i think he had no choice but to tell me to make me give up. aizou: did he not let you stand on the stage of kabuki at least once? yuujirou: there’s no way i can stand. my brother has been performing on stage since then. aizou’s thoughts: that too...is pretty terrible. if you don't want yuujirou to stand on stage why did you make him practice? it’s cruel to put expectations on children and just take them away. although these are thoughts of aizou, he also thought that since it’s the someya house, there must be complicated circumstances. so aizou listened silently. yuujirou: but...i was taken to a shrine and dedicated a dance there. i think it was for some kind of festival. my younger brother was supposed to perform, actually. but he let me do it. yuujirou: at that time, it was a cool shirabyoshi dance. my father taught me how to dance. i went up to the shrine’s hall, danced to the flute, and everyone who was watching me gave me a round of applause...but i was terribly sad. because i thought that was the end of it. he spoke indifferently, but a slightly bitter smile was on his face. yuujirou: but i also know that i was the best that my father could have done for me at that time. aizou only listens silently and slightly opens the folding fan that the director had forgotten. these were the circumstances but even so, it can be said that yuujirou’s victory now is because he never gave up and kept going. aizou, thinking: really, he’s stubborn.... aizou closes the folding fan and looks up at his partner. aizou: hey, that dance...you still remember it, right? yuujirou, turning his gaze to aizou: eh. yuujirou: maybe i already forgot. it’s been a long time...and i haven't done it since then. aizou: liar aizou smiles and throws the folding fan to yuujirou. catching it, yuujirou blinks in surprise. aizou: it’s a waste if you memorize it just once. that dance, try to dance it here. yuujirou, eyebrows raising in confusion: here? aizou: it’s fine, isnt it? i’m the only one here. aizou leaves the stage with a big smile. this is not the end. it will continue from here and onwards. our butai, and our stage. aizou: and you said you dont remember. yuujirou lets out a sigh as if to say he’s tired. he opens the folding fan once and then closes it with a snap. perhaps, it’s because he’s motivated, that when he raises his head, his expression has changed. aizou sits in the front row and watches yuujirou as he dances slowly with the fan in his hand. yuujirou said he doesn't remember, but there’s no hesitation in the movement of his feet or hands. see, yuujirou remembers it. there’s no way that he’ll forget the dance he learned once.

yuujirou squats with an open fan in his hand. when he stood up, he was turning around in a fluid motion. aizou’s sure that when yuujirou danced at the shrine, yuujirou danced with everything he got to the sound of the flute. aizou’s thoughts: y’know....you’re amazing.

with those words in his heart, aizou smiles slightly. “don't push!!” there’s a voice and then there’s a sound of something collapsing. when aizou and yuujirou looked in surprise, there’s the director, crushed by several staff members. apparently, they secretly watched yuujirou’s dance. uchida is probably there as well. yuujirou: what are you doing....? he asks in a cold voice and everyone stood up in panic. uchida, glasses slanted: i’m just here to pick up those two! director, arms crossed: i forgot my fan. i just came to retrieve it. he spoke pompously but he was averting his gaze. aizou, thinking: really, what are these people doing.... aizou stands up and walks up to the stage. when he and yuujirou went to where the sense’s were, female staff, her eyes twinkling: the dance just now is really beautiful! the other staff are also smiling and said, “i was able to see something good!!” yuujirou: thank you.... he replies curtly. aizou thinks yuujirou’s hiding his embarrassment. yuujirou closes the fan and gives it to the director. he apologizes for borrowing and using it for a bit. the director then declares powerfully: i think i’ll go with “Yoshitsune to Shizuka Gozen” for the next stage play. the staffs agree with a roar. and he declares that the main characters will be aizou and yuujirou LMAO. aizou and yuujirou: eh? *looks at each other* yuujirou: i’m okay with it. who’s going to play shizuka gozen (the female MC)? aizou: eh, you of course

director: the dance just now is like shizuka gozen’s.... aizou: see, sensei’s saying it too. aizou points his index finger at the director. yuujirou’s brows wrinkled. yuujirou: ha? i wont hand over the role of yoshitsune. aizou you do the role of shizuka gozen. i think you’d suit it very well. aizou: no matter who sees it, the role wont look good on me. for this play, i really trained my abs! yuujirou: your abs don't matter. no one will see them anyway! aizou: it should be the right person on the right role! yuujirou: well...aizou might look better as benkei (the warrior) rather than shizuka gozen. yuujirou puts his hand to his mouth and chuckles. aizou: benkei, huh....well, if it’s that role, i can still make do with it. aizou feels like if it’s the benkei role, then it’s better than shizuka gozen. for his abs wont go to waste. (aizouuuu stop with the abs ww) director, all serious: yoshitsune and benkei...that’s fine as well! it’s decided! the next play will be ‘Yoshitsune and Benkei’ 

he raises his fist and proclaims. and announces the roles will be for yuujirou and aizou. and again, he pats yuujirou and aizou on the shoulders. the staffs around them applauded in agreement. uchida: if it’s a job offer, you should go through me, the manager, first! director, fidgeting: we’ll talk about that properly later. aizou’s thoughts: uchida-san, so strong....or should i say, reliable...? aizou smiles wryly. their next stage- even though the first day of their first play has ended, aizou already wants to run towards their next one. he wants to open more possibilities for himself and yuujirou. aizou’s thoughts: i want to try and challenge different things. do not let the dream you once had end as a dream. turn it into reality. the power to do so is already within you. that is why, do not be afraid and continue on. be it in a storm or a steep mountain. for if you do not stop walking, you will eventually reach the world of "hope" you dream of. until then. aizou, who’s looking at the audience seats, turns to his partner standing next to him. yuujirou looked at him almost at the same time. their eyes met. aizou’s thoughts: we are thinking the same thing, aren’t we. and feeling like that, together, aizou and yuujirou burst out laughing.

-----

EPILOGUE

morning of senshuuraku. aizou sees his brother in the kitchen. ken is wearing aizou’s favorite jacket, jacket aizou bought on a whim. ken places a mug in front of aizou. ken picks up kuro and puts him on his shoulder. aizou asks him if ken is coming to his butai. he left 2 tickets on the table the other day. he noticed they were gone when he woke up in the morning. ken confirms to aizou whether today’s the last day of his butai. he also mentions arisa wanted to go and teasingly says to aizou that they may go see it. aizou stares at the cup..and after a few moments, he says to ken that he’s thinking of leaving the house and live alone someday. even though they’re in the same house, it feels like they’re living separately anyway. he’d consulted uchida already and asked her to look for affordable properties. aizou doesn't see his brother that often, and he rarely speak to him too. so he concludes this is the best time to tell ken. ken replies with his usual light tone, “isn't that alright.” aizou admits that he hasn't decided when it will be yet, but he asks ken if he could take kuro with him. ken: ah. i’m ok with it.... *pets kuro* ah, on second thought, i won’t allow it. aizou’s surprised. he thought ken wouldn't refuse lol. aizou: eh, why? i’m the one taking care of him the most anyway.... ken: if you bring kuro with you, then he wont come back here in the house.

(i think he’s also saying aizou won’t come back as well?)

aizou narrows his eyes. ken takes kuro off his shoulder and handed the cat to aizou. ken: but if kuro’s here...

i think ken is referring to aizou but he phrases it like it’s also kuro who’ll worry and come back here in the house. aizou hugs kuro but the cat tries to wriggle away from his arms as if kuro prefers ken. aizou didnt know how to answer ken. he looks at his brother, confused. ken tells aizou he’s gonna meet arisa now for a date and leaves. but before leaving he says to aizou that he’s gonna borrow his clothes. aizou, hugging kuro tightly: but you’re already wearing it.... aizou admits that even if he takes kuro with him, he’s sure the cat will come back to this house. the place to return, the reason to come back, are left in this house.

for the sake of this “me”. “you” have always tried to stay with the family. aizou puts on his sneakers, and the sports bag on his shoulder. he turns off the light inside the house. aizou, louder than usual: i’m off! he opens the front door, closes and locks it. he puts the key into his pocket and stepped out. outside, the skies are blue and the sun’s shining brightly. aizou: come on then, let’s go- ~ when yuujirou leaves the front door of their house, his mother came out to see him off. tae-san: i’ll definitely come and see your stage, together with your father. yuujirou: okay. tae: say hello to aizou-kun for me yuujirou: yeah....ok.... tae, noticing his vague reply and scolding him: you have to get along. yuujirou: i know. then, i’ll go now. when he’s about to leave, his mother stops him. tae: ah, wait. she takes out a hiuchi stone and strikes it. yuujirou’s slightly surprised and looks at his mother. tae: because i’ve also done this when your father and koichirou perform too. it is a gift bearing the wish that the butai performance will end safely. tae, seemingly about to cry, smiles happily at his son. to yuujirou, who until now, couldn’t stand on the stage. yuujirou: thank you, mother. tae: take care. i wish you the best. yuujirou: yes...i’ll be going now. yuujirou slings the bag over his shoulder and walks, looking straight ahead. yuujirou’s thoughts: now then, let’s go- aizou and yuujirou’s thoughts: towards the world that awaits us. ~ LOVE&KISS AU It is still a bit dark but the skies are beginning to turn white. Statues of the two heroes stood at the plaza. aizou, with a dissatisfied look: the princess said she would give us the horses but why did you refuse it? it’s easier with horses. he had his arms crossed. yuujirou: wouldn't it be better if you just took your horse? i don't need mine. aizou: if we travel together, it can’t be helped but to ride a horse. yuujirou: i did not say i’d travel together with anyone. why are you deciding on your own? they were allowed to stay in the castle for about 2 weeks, but since the wound on yuujirou’s leg was about to heal now, yuujirou decided it’s time to leave. he told this to the princess and the royal sister. but not to aizou. nevertheless, when he packed up and left this morning, aizou’s waiting for him, already wearing his travel clothes. apparently, after hearing from the princess and the royal sister that yuujirou will be leaving, aizou decided to leave too. aizou could’ve traveled anytime because he wasn't injured. but even so, it seems he spend his time leisurely in the castle because he was waiting for yuujirou to recover. perhaps, it’s because he’s worried about yuujirou’s wounds. how meddlesome, this guy. no one asked him to. yuujirou wants to quicken his pace but he couldn't do so, because the pain from the wound is still there. he glares sideways at aizou as if saying, ‘dont follow me’. aizou, with his arms folded behind his head, turns his head to the side as if he didn't want to listen to what other have to say. yuujirou’s brows furrowed even further. he’s even more irritated now. aizou: come to think of it.....did you remember? he’s referring to the forgotten memories of the past. they were looking for the wish-granting jewel to regain their memories. yuujirou: ....no....how about you? they walk toward the town’s gates. aizou: as i thought, there’s no way it’d be that easy for our wish to come true. he takes his own stone from his pocket and rolls it lightly in his hands, smiling. during their stay in the castle, yuujirou tried to make a wish several times, but the stone did not show any reaction except giving off a faint glow. he asked the princess for access to the castle library, but no matter what method yuujirou tried, the results were the same. he did not regain his lost memories. yuujirou takes out the stone from his pocket. is there a special method to make his wish come true or is it really just a stone. he isnt that disappointed though, strangely enough. aizou: wont it make some money if we sell it? it’s an unusual and rare stone anyway. are you going to sell it? we’ve encountered hardships to obtain it. yuujirou: there’s no point in having it if it’s just a stone. well, it might turn out to be an amulet or a charm. their wish might come true someday if they have the stone. in the tales, it wasn't written that a wish would come true instantly. aizou: well for now, let’s look for other ways. i might be able to remember it anytime soon. like when i accidentally fall down. yuujirou looks astonished at aizou who’s smiling. yuujirou: if that’s how to remember it, i think we’ve already remembered a long time ago. aizou: you won’t know, right. a fortune teller once told me that a shock can restore one’s memory. yuujirou: if you think so, then try hitting your head against that tree. on your own. aizou: i’ve already tried that, but it didn’t work. (LJALFSJSLFJA AIZOUUUUU) yuujirou’s thoughts: what foolishness this guy has.... yuujirou: *sighs* he then looks at aizou. yuujirou: then why are you following me. go your own way. aizou: we have the same goal. wouldn’t it make more sense to go together? aizou throws the stone lightly and catches it on his hand repeatedly. aizou: even i am reluctant (to be alone) yuujirou: where’s the logic in that? aizou: because i was with you, i was able to survive the snowy mountains, i was able to defeat the dragon, and i obtained the stone. i don’t know what the stone’s useful for but it’s a mysterious one. yuujirou: omae to issho ni iru to, roku na koto ga nai (nothing good happens when i am with you; his signature line lmao) aizou: that again. he frowns as if tired to hear it. aizou: i will not accept complaints and displeasure anymore! yuujirou: i won’t listen to your nagging! yuujirou covers his ears with his hands. the entrance gates of the town can already be seen. the daughter of the innkeeper where the two had stayed before, waves her hand and calls them, “heroes of journey!”. aizou and yuujirou look back. girl: thank you for saving the princess!! i wish you well in your journey to come!! she threw red apples at them. they caught those and looked at each other. they forgot their argument a while ago and smile at each other. yuujirou POV:

i still have not found the “answer” i was looking for. but perhaps, if it’s with someone who travels the same path as me, someday i will be able to. yes, someday. perhaps we’ll find it. the two wave their arms and head forward, walking straight to the other side of the gates enveloped in the rays of the morning sun. ~ when one story ends, a new one begins. the regrets of the past, the fate that ties oneself. leave behind all the doubts, anxieties, and fears about the future. what someone once dreamed of is waiting beyond the door, towards a world that shines so brilliantly. along with daybreak, let us go and move onward. as long as we continue believing, proceed ahead.

for “hope” will continue to exist.

~

END

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

god I so feel just totally avoiding the main quest. I love when I can do that in games. like yeah ik the main quest is over there but I'm gonna do all this other stuff. main quest can wait!

is tma The Magnus Archives? I never really got into it but I relate a lot to having brainrot about your fandom...and very much to having lots of ideas and not writing them lol.

though my brainrot lately has been Minecraft. so instead of having writing ideas I just have ideas for what I wanna make. I sit at work in meetings and just think about the house I wanna build and get really indecisive about the building shape sjdklfjkf

-shark anon

sorry zelda, i can't save hyrule, i'm busy doing hot girl shit (fucking around and finind out) (so many game overs i am Not a Good Gamer)

yes!! tma is The Magnus Archives and i love it so much but more importantly I love the characters so much and it's difficult for me to capture personalities so i've been trying a lot to practice with them cause they mean so much to me and i know whatever i write will be kinda ooc but i still want it to at least feel like the characters? which is very difficult when 2 of them are background characters and while both are mentioned multiple times one makes one appearance and the other well im writing about who he was before i cant elaborate on that without spoilers but theres basically no reference material for that part of his life aside from fan stuff so im tryin my best djahdsh (any tma fans reading this yes im talkin about gerry and michael), it's good tho cause i get to practice/improve my english so even if they stay in drafts i get to feel productive? aslhdlashdla

oh man i havent played minecraft in forever, im rarely in the mood for it but when i am i usually get the brainrot for like a month sakjdah last time i was playing on a server w friends that was modded to add more stuff to vanilla so it had a bunch of new animals and i started making a zoo (then the brainrot died and i never finished the zoo rip i hope those animals r ok) i also had so many cats at home my farm animals started despawning :) i love kitty <3

i hope u can think about a building shape u like !!

[thewriting-corner]

Introduction To My WIPs

Helloo! I just took a ginger shot and multivitamin in the hopes that I do not get a cold right before the free week I plan to use to get all my uni work done, and my brain is fired up lol. ANYWAY, the other day I got a DM asking about TSLBTY and it hit me that despite all the promo I did for TSLBTY, I still never really talked about it 🤔 so here I am ranting to you about the only healthy loves in my life: the wips (or whips, if you will). Have fun, ig? And it goes without saying to please not steal any of these ideas. Be decent

The Sun Leads Back To You

This is my main project at the moment, and has been my source of therapy for a year now. I restarted the current version in April 2022 when I began getting really bad anxiety attacks again and my mental health was ✨on the ground✨ because how else would I cope lol. I hereby present you with a synopsis 🫶🏼

When on vacation with her family in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, Sofía Barrera finds her almost-boyfriend kissing another girl. In an attempt to make him jealous, she asks a random stranger to kiss her. Eager to make her ex even more crazy, she enlists the help of British tourist Thomas Woods to fake date her.

Thomas Woods doesn’t know what he hates more - the brain melting heat of the Costarrican beach or being forced to spend two weeks with his mother’s fiancé and his brand new step siblings. Desperate to get away from them, he accepts an offer to fake date Sofía in exchange for one thing: she gets him away from his new family as much as possible.

Their deal slowly unravels when Sofia’s family falls apart, and more than ever she’s convinced that she’s destined to stay at home forever, making sure her parents do not break the way they did seven years ago. Add an ex-boyfriend determined to win her back and the moody, yet charming Thomas, and Sofia’s world is soon to be collapsed.

I’m on it’s 3rd Draft, about to start the 4th and final once my beta readers finish reading it sometime this month. My current plan is to start querying it on June 1 as a birthday present to myself :) This book has meant the world to me and has helped me move on from so many things that it only feels appropriate to begin its new chapter as I leave my final days of teenage writerdom and entire my 🤢 20s. Sofia and Thomas are the products of my greatest flaws and pride, and yet I hope they will eventually find home in readers’ hearts like they’ve done in mine.

Songs I Relate To It: folklore love triangle :) or Last Kiss by Taylor Swift (iykyk)

The Wrath of Chaos [working title]

Now that I’ve gotten the super gross part of the way, I am pleased to announce that once I send out TSLBTY into the query trenches, I plan to reimagine one of my favorite worlds I’ve ever written! I tried querying this book before and it went terribly, BUT the other day I got an idea on how to make this book better and I CANT WAIT to put it to paper. While I have loved having my dearest, slightly depressed Marty on the spotlight, I’ve decided to shine a little bit of light on my favorite character of all time: Chaos. In this new version, he will be aged down and gain his own POV chapters in the book so that finally, he and Marty can be direct mirrors of each other like they were always meant to be.

Song I Relate To It: Carry On - The Score, AWOLNATION (or literally any song by The Score lol I swear their entire discography fits)

The Time Travel Wip

Working Title: The Time Keepers or Daughter of Time

One of the darkest concepts I have ever come up with, the time travel wip is a sci-fi/romance/thriller about a girl so desperate to return home, she accidentally destroys time😃 In the unfortunate experience of outlining, I realized that the plot was WAY too flat and so I need to rethink a lot of the aspects, which is why it’s so down the line of priorities right now. But I’m fine with that! Good books take time, and I’m excited to see what this wip will end up in once I’m a little less tired to think it through again lol

My plan for this one is to restart the outline eventually lol as soon as I can figure out how to up the stakes. Usually I have no issue with high stakes, but the entire concept of my characters being lost through time made it really hard to keep up with what they have to lose since it’s so difficult to remember the order of events even though it’s written down haha. Definitely my most ambitious project so far, which is why I have no issue taking my time with it. I’ve rushed through these wips in the past, and I’ve come to learn that a quick project will never be worth more than a well done one.

Song I Relate To It: End Game - Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Future

[psychicskulldamage]

Getting to know me game Shameless version , tagged by @smokey-mickey! 😊💖

when did you start watching shameless?

I watched S10 while it was airing and then around the beginning of quarantine I watched the rest of Shameless lol. I was reading fics like 2 years before tho, cause I somehow fell into a gallavich abyss on youtube and apparently that was enough for me 🤣 I wasn't really interested in watching the show itself until the gifs of Ian and Mickey reuniting in prison started showing up on my tumblr feed😅

how did you start getting involved in the gallavich fandom?

Posting this fanart c:

favourite shameless character? (other than ian & mickey of course)

Fiona, Lip, Kev, V

what plotline from the show irked you the most?

There are a lot of plot lines I didn't care for throughout the show 🤣

favourite line from the show?

ahhhh I cant choose 😫 skipping this one or else this'll stay in my drafts forever

fanfic(s) you can’t stop thinking about :

Here are some recently updated wip fics that I'm currently reading💖

Dancing After Death by @squidyyy23

I Could Go Anywhere by JazWrites

they will take me away by @pancakemickey

Intro to Quantum Dating by @spoonfulstar

Finding Me by PenelopePenniworth

best concert(s) you’ve been to: BTS, Tyler The Creator, Japanese Breakfast. I am manifesting a Frank Ocean concert in the coming years 😌

comfort movie franchise: Harry potter, The Dark Knight and Ghibli movies are all peak comfort for me

piercings/tattoos? I have 4 piercings on my left ear and 2 on my right. No tattoos yet

most rewatched tv show? probably Hannibal, Gotham and Supernatural. Though I've never actually finished spn. I think the furthest I ever got was S11😆 but S1-6 I can rewatch anytime easy 👌

random fact about yourself: I used to be super into cosplay and prop making 🧙‍♂️

Since I'm super late in posting this as usual, if you see this and haven't been tagged yet then I'm tagging you 🥰🥰🥰

[sunshinetoshi]

hand over your human rights.

ok let's start from the very beginning. i was writing iwa angst. i lost motivation. opened tumblr to gather some motivation. scrolled and pt 5 was the second post on my dash. the way i screeched pls. i read till the part where oikawa asked if they can get back together. i cried. left to shower. cried in shower for like 20 minutes before going to play genshin. i came back. read it all over again and i'm crying while writing this.

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL LET ME INHALE AMAYA I'VE NEVER READ SOMETHING SO PAINFUL YET SO AMAZING

i'd be lying if i said i hoped for a happy ending 🧍‍♀️but the ending you gave? that was realistic. i think a realistic ending is better than a happy ending. i've read a lot of cheating fics, trust me as an angst lover, no fics deliver angst the way cheating ones do. and when i read the part where oikawa asked for another chance? i knew where it was going

hate me for saying this but my mind really went "not this shit again." because i know how it goes in stories. they ask for another chance, the reader knows they're still in love, yada yada and they're back as if nothing happened. i don't hate that, but if it were me, i won't get back to someone who cheated on me.

but then i read the part where the reader tells about their insecurities. the ones questioning the probability that oikawa won't cheat again while in Argentina. anD LET ME TELL YOU THE WAY I GASPED AND THEN A REALLY BIG SMILE TOOK OVER MY FACE LIKE— you never fail to surprise me, amaya :>

those words, about insecurities and not cheating again, those are the only thing on ones mind when someone who cheated on them asks them to get back together. i know that's not easy to say, it can either lead to a healthy conversation or build even higher walls but i love how to decided to put it in the story and give it an ending that seemed realistic. remember the other ask i sent you about it? the one where you said that you try to put yourself in that situation? it's hard to do that, specially when you're writing angst.

and i really see that you wrote this whole fic from yours and the readers' perspective and not just for the happy or the sad endings. when i say i relate to every word you wrote, i mean it. no one cheated on me, of course, but those are some words that come to my mind if someone who cheated on me asked me to get back together with them

oKAY ENOUGH WITH THE EMOTIONAL THINGS, THIS ASK IS GETTING VERY VERY LONG I'M SORRY. I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT IT WAS WORTH ALL THE WAIT. FOUR MONTHS, I GUESS? I REMEMBER YOU POSTING THE FOURTH PART AROUND THE TIME I JOINED TUMBLR LOL GOD I AVOIDED THE FIC FOR SO LONG BECAUSE I KNEW IT WON'T END WELL. I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT >///<

overall, i loved it. i'll read it again, i just know i would because it's really amazing. i think this gives you enough reasons for why i look up to you. you're just amazing. aND WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS FIC IS GIVING ME IDEAS FOR AN OIKAWA SMAU 💀

anyway, i hope you're doing well. those 5.1k words were some of the best i've ever read and i love them a lot. please take care of yourself, stay hydrated, give yourself a treat because you did great. i love you <3

i s w e a r if tumblr ate this 🗡

if t*mblr ate this amazing message before i was able to respond i'd fight em 🤺🤺 ajdghss

okay wait i will treasure this ask forever and ever i'm screaming!! fr when i read this my smile kept growing and growing and i was near tears bc of this (also you made me want to REREAD my own work even tho i JUST proofread it and posted it HAHAHA the power you hold). but wow this whole ask has my heart so so much

i saw you posted the iwa angst!! it's saved to my drafts and i'm excited to read it!! and PLS not me making you cry oh no. free hugs for the tears i made you shed ahh </33

i'm so happy to hear your thoughts on this omg!! i think the whole 'if it were me, i wouldn't go back if they cheated' is really the struggle that was on my mind from the second i started this entire series. i kept going back and forth but i know i personally wouldn't or couldn't go back if someone did that to me. at the same time i struggled between a happy or sad ending so i kept going back and forth until i eventually realized that just like how the reader had to stick to their beliefs i felt i needed to do the same. that's why i really really appreciate that this shone through to you wow my heart.

honestly i think the part with the insecurities was one of my favorites especially in contrast to the things they miss and how much they still wanted to be with him idk something about it made me tear up while writing akhdjshdhd. i cried a lot writing this series tbh EYE-

i really wanted to get at the struggle of a real cheating situation even if i too have never been cheated on lmao so being able to convey this even a little is really making my heart do cartwheels oooo

wait don't apologize for the length i loved this so so much. IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT?? seriously such a high compliment wahh. dont worry i would've done the same like i love angst but sometimes my heart cant handle it

you're just so sweet oh my goodness thank you so much for your words. i am blown away by the support you give me. AND AN OIKAWA SMAU?? INSPIRED BY MY FIC?? i am ascending 😩😩 if you do decide to work on this i will be a puddle of tears on the floor and will support the heck out of it. pls just you mentioning that is an honor but no pressure to do it bb you write what you want to heheh <33

that last paragraph is just so nice i can't do this 💓💓 tysm bb ily

[leerongrong]

is “i saw an angel” going to stay in your drafts forever ahhh (no pressure lol just curious!)

i- anon dont call me out like that 😔✋🏻 ahh ngl ive always wanted to post it on here but between my workload, the unfinished sequel, and the fact that i think no ones gonna read it,,, it just makes me unsure about it yaknow 🤪 also,,, anon i cant believe you still remember about "i saw an angel" omggg😳

[yayninjabob]

A story behind a story

I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I. Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it.  Well not really the story but the story behind the story?  

A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control

How I started writing again: My relationship with my writing was non existent for years.  I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit.  I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it.  Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever.  I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh. "What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked. Ffffffuck me I dont know.  Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life.  I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it.  But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least. Anyways. January was my dads bday.  2019 and that year my dad asked for something.  Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him.  Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.   "What?  A story?  A poem?  A birthday card?" "I dont care just write me something." Typical. "I dont care."  Yeah right.  What the hell does he expect from me jeez.... My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next.   He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say.  I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea. So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure.  Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day.  I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words.  It really surprised me how easy I found those words though.  Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way.  It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol. I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer."  I figured he would appreciate that.  I gave him the story on his birthday.  He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up. And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right?  He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this.  He told me "You need to write again.   You need to try." But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway.  Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno.  I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting.  It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly.  The passion just wasnt there. After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right?  Maybe you should retell another story that you love." And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux

Part I:  Remote Control I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain.  I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears.  What. A. Trip. So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better."  I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.   Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1.  It was still in Buttercup's limited POV.  I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead.  I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.   When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy.  It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.   The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it.  I didn't think anyone would read it.  But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good.  I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving. And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed.  After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism.  The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed. A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances.  Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.   And I did!  On the first day!  And I was PUMPED lol.   Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past!  I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me.  And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further. And now I'm done with Part I.  Jeez what a freaking journey.  I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.   Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit.  But.  It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more.  And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing.  Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it. So yeah.  I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad.   I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol.  And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.   Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain.  Thanks for reading. :)

[chestnutroan]

Who is Ben? Have you talked about this character before?

Ben is my sole survivor, and my longest standing oc. I’ve posted a LOT of art of him but I’ve always put off talking about him at length but now I’m out of the rough when it comes to having the will to do anything, ill talk about him!

Frank (Benjamin) Romara was born in 2044 in Arkansas to African/Italian parents. When he was 13, he, his parents and his younger brother Gene were uprooted to Boston under absolutely no single good reason given at the time from his father. His dad died probably not a year later, and combined with the massive change of life Ben’s education went down the shitter, and he had to repeat freshman year. At the end of what should have been his sophomore year he got put in a program for “at risk youth”. 

[Detail about him, about Nick Valentine and Fallout Lore etc under the cut!]

The program was basically about increasing the amount of people entering government related jobs, because due to rising contempt less and less people were going down that path, and that’s bad for a whole lot of reasons, for the government at least. When it was first conceived of, it was more of a support scheme for kids not going onto greater things, but it expanded to where it was mandatory for any teen that met the requirements to be put through the system and spat out with more allegiance to their country. Ben checked off a lot of boxes, being poor, having bad grades etc. And at first Ben didn’t really mind all that much, given his lack of direction it was comforting to know that he’d be able to find a stable job to support his family, and that was exactly what seemed to be promised to him. He hadn’t yet gained a fervent desire to see the government crumble, the only part of it he hated being cops, who brushed his dads murder off like it didn’t matter. plus, the program offered extensive healthcare (a leftover enticement from when the program was optional), and it looked like the only way he’d be able to transition.

It wasn’t long, however, before it became increasingly apparent how insidious the program really was. For one thing, he was to be put into work (or training for whatever he will be assigned) at 18, meaning he’d have to leave high school with a sophomore level education. This was, of course, by design to keep the kids entering the workforce in that same workforce. When he was 17, he took a GOAT and got given two options: enter the police force or the US army. He didn't want to do absolutely either, but he picked the former, just because it seemed like his only shot to stay with his family. By the time he was 21, he’d become a detective, and before he could ever start to work on his own soil he was transferred to Chicago due to lack of workforce there.

And all over again, he’d been plucked out of what he knew and dunked somewhere else, and worse yet, he doesn’t even have anyone he knows to help him go through it. Most of the people at his station don’t really want anything to do with him, but he gets on with his job (his efficacy depending on whether or not he thinks hes doing the right thing), and quickly becomes the new hotshot ass hole there for his attention to detail, if not his actual ability to decipher motivations and piece things together. And this caught the attention of Nick Valentine.

Nick was the original hotshot ass  hole ofc, and it was owed to this that Ben, despite being to be shown the ropes, that he didn’t partner with the new guy despite being the only person there who could have helped him out. Nick was very, very good at his job, and due to his insecurities he wasn’t about to stop being the best and give people the chance to realise he doesn't get better than how effective he is at his work. I won’t get into the root of his insecurities, but he genuinely believes that he would lose all respect and that if he ever stopped being a try hard people would lose all reason to bother with him at all, and all he wants is for others reach out and be a friend to him. hes dealing with a lot of the same loneliness Ben is, but so long as he doesn't lose the facade of being a fully functional adult with a good job and a ‘loving’ wife he wont have to introspect and face who he thinks he is deep down (i.e. a man incapable of loving his wife romantically because of some personality fault he cant comprehend of how to fix as opposed to him just being gay and having a lot of internalised homophobia).

It takes Ben and Nick both reaching the point where they snap under the weight of the world they live in and the people who occupy it for them to come together. Nick ended up actually asking to take Ben on as a partner, and it took a lot of the load off of emotionally crippling work (serving a government neither of them believed in but being wholly incapable of escaping it, status quo being almost the only thing keeping them in place as opposed to trying to physically escape what they're doing together) but better yet, for nick, Ben helped bring out a side of him that wasn’t so afraid to be known by others, and he started opening up to other people at the same time as growing closer to him. (I think its important to like.not that nick doesn't wholly rely on Ben for all of his self esteem etc Ben is just a positive impact who gives him a space where nick can learn for himself that his worth doesn't depend on other peoples perception of him.) Nick realises that a lot of his negative perception/jealousy/etc of Ben when they first met was because he saw a lot of himself in him, Nick was in more or less him when he started some 5 or so years ago, and Nick helps Ben out in the way he wished someone had been there for him because he cares a hell of a lot about him and wants him to have the best chance at things.

And they grow into better people and just at the pique of things, where Nick is enjoying not being in an abusive relationship and staying with Ben while he gets back on his feet, Ben gets drafted and is trained at first to become a power armored foot soldier (standing at nearly 6′6″ he’d be a monument of fuck you to the enemy) but do to his deliberately bad aim with weapons, hes instead trained to pilot a vertibird, where hes then shipped off to anchorage. its there that he goes MIA after going against orders with his co pilot to provide medical assistance to a group of people stranded off from communication he spotted in flight earlier. Ben ended up glad later on that he and his co pilot were shot down, because for all 25 hours he was left dying in the snow, it meant that he didn't have to justify him going against orders by bringing back Chinese soldiers who’d end up a lot worse for wear than him. By the time his KIA status was revoked (they weren’t about to announce the miracle of his survival before they knew he’d survive lol) he’d already had a funeral, which Nick had attended, because I write like everything's a soap opera. but yeafksf him dying and attending his funeral left nick in a lot of grief, because he’d thought he’d have forever with Ben to go slow with him into being in a relationship and now Nick thought he’d never get that chance. and when they meet back up after it all when Ben returns it’s romantically charged to say the least.

Obviously I haven’t been sticking entirely to lore with this but the lore presented in fallout 4 is fucking bullshit so. i hesitate to call this a fix but i need to put in this disclaimer before i start spouting off. hey how about instead of nicks fiance getting iced jenny lands was actually his partner once he transferred to Boston to be with his husband to be, and she was cruelly twisted against her own intentions to try and kill nick because Eddie winter put her family in jeopardy and Eddie doing this was a coordinated attack towards them both that hes not just powerful enough to get revenge he can do it in such a way that they cant even trust the people around them. And nick got his mind juices squeezed or brain scanned whatever because of the resulting trauma of being shot by his best friend jenny. and also ‘Shaun’ is Ben and Nicks kid Max and upon learning later as a gen 2 that his son is the leader of a great source of trauma for nick hes forced to introspect in ways that have more tangible effects because his ability to decide who he is as a man ties into immediate problems  And nick doesn't have to focus on revenge disguised as justice because he has a responsibility to live in the here and now.

Thank you for this ask!! I hope that was coherent enough to understand kjdsf if you have any more questions about him or anything else I talked about I’d be flattered to hear them!

[tumblunni]

Today's thought for a Dr Maddiman fic that i probably wont ever have the skill to write, lol

Au where his wife is still alive in present day, she's just elderly and in hospital for [insert name of whatever illness]. So maddiman's redemption and re-meeting his son manages to happen in time for him to see her again.

Im thinking something like he was planning to just keep his distance cos he's scared she hates him and he could never apologise enough for everything and AAA he hasnt even successfully conquered a small continent let alone the world!!! ("Just let it go already, old man") But then she takes a turn for the worse and when she's in critical condition the head surgeon isnt there and so MADDIMAN BUSTS IN TO SAVE THE DAY! "We need a doctor!!" "I'M A DOCTOR" screams some sort of sobbing cyclops ghost, busting down the wall on the back of a giant frankenmonster...!!

So he ends up doing the impossible surgery noone could ever do, and saving her life with his yokai powers. And then he's just stuck there frozen like "oh god i should leave before she wakes up" vs "i missed her so much i want to stay forever". And he's flailing around looking to protagonist and co for help but theyre too busy running around sticking Wazzat on everybody to cover up the whole, yknow, crazy man punched thru the wall while also being a walking corpse thing.

So she ends up waking up and he's like AIYEEEEE and turns into human form cos he doesnt want to freak her out but DOUBLE AIYEEEE that would probably freak her out even more!! Cue a scene of him falling all over the place trying to put on some terrible disguise while she's got her back turned. "OH..YES...UMM..I AM DOCTOR...FRANK..?" *terrible deep voice attempt*

So we have this super awkward adorable conversation where he's like 'oh no i cant control my love!' Cos it was my headcanon that a side effect of maddiman's powers is that he's like..forced to be more emotionally honest, like he wished he could have been as a human. But its totally involuntary! Like your classic werewolf instinct to howl at the moon and eat people but instead "oh no..must...tell people i care...!!" So i mean his Maddiman personality really WAS always his true personality, but back when he was alive he hid himself away behind a thousand emotional walls of fake stoicism that only got more constrictive over the years. Yokai goofball vs human goofball who's just wearing a terrible 'i am serious man' disguise. That ruined his marriage and literally killed him! Yup! So getting superpowers based on hearts was kind of a lifesaver in his second life. God i have so many feelings for this poor guy!!!

But yeah anyway the gist is that he struggles not to blurt it out whenever he feels affection towards people now. THE CUTEST CURSE! Also itd be funny if his human form kept cracking up aka "oh no my heart is so full of love it wont stop jumping out my chest!"

So anyway we have some brief comic relief of him failing absolutely utterly at pretending to not be himself/not bursting out crying/trying to hold back his own arms from running over and hugging her/losing his heart when he gets hit with the love so hard it launches right out the window...

And at the same time its kinda melancholy cos OF COURSE his wife would actually want to see him and OF COURSE she wouldnt care that he's a monster, she'd just be happy he's back. And maybe she doesnt notice all the clearly suspicious things about this strangely dressed man (and the draft from the missing wall...) because she's just caught up in those melancholy memories. Becuse of course after a close brush with death you'd get depressed that all of your family is dead and nobody would be visitibg you at hospital EXCEPT THEY ARE AND THEYRE RIGHT HERE AND THEYRE BEING DUMBASSES (cue dr nocturne walking in in the background, seeing her, freaking out and putting on an equally terrible disguise..)

So maybe the moment that makes maddiman lose his cool is when he sees she still kept the wedding ring. POOF! Giant explosion and suddenly full yokai form right in front of everyone! "N-n-n-now dont be alarmed t-this is..I..THERES A PERFECTLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION..! OVER THERE!" *tries to jump back out the maddiman shaped hole in the wall* But of course Because Love, she manages to recognise him even as a yokai and they have a heartwarming reunion! Hoorah!

So yeah happy ending au. Coulda just said that and saved all the words, but whatever XD

[whosxafraid]

holy christmas dudes....has it really been two years already? i mean i feel like it was yesterday i hesitantly made this blog without any real hope anyone would want to interact with this over sized old man but needing to make the blog anyway because the fecker wouldn’t be quiet---but here we are...and just damn.

Ｇｉｖｅａｗａｙ Ｇｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ：

Give away begins: now - 03/25/19 Give away ends : 6:00pm EST - 03/29/19

1. One like/re-blog per blog.

 I get really turned around and easily confused so please make this  easier on me and only either re-blog the post or like the post.   But only do either one once.          

2. Must be following Luka and be an RP blog in order to participate.

Please don’t just follow to participate in the giveaway, okay? I can’t control you following and then un-following but its super   rude and just karma’s a bitch okay?

3. I need a week or so to get the prizes out after the giveaway ends.

 Bare with me. I keep my promises it just takes me time.

4. Winners will be chosen using the random number generator. Keeps everything nice and fair :)

5. If you are a multi-muse and win, please be prepared to chose one of your muses for icons made.

6. If you win and your muse’s fc is not well known or has little screen time, please be prepared to help me out if I can’t find suitable resources on my own for graphics/icons/etc.

7. If you win and you have a favorite picture or resource(aka movie/episode/etc) in which your muse’s fc is portrayed please feel free to let me know!

8. If you win please be prepared to provide a primary color and/or scheme you would like the graphics/icons to have.

ＰＲＩＺＥＳ:

1st Place: 1 promo graphic, 1 set of Online/Offline/Lurking/Drafts banners, 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s).

2nd Place: 1 promo graphic and 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s). .

3rd Place: 1 promo graphic

                                                    ƓƠƠƊ ԼƲƇƘ!

follow forever beneath the cut

@brooklynislandgirl / @tarnishedhalo / @quothesquills

yes hi i love you always? lol thank you for being my partner is so many fictional crimes. for being a like minded cray like me but also constantly teaching me and bettering me as a person literally every day. i love how we can finish each other sentences sometimes, and are so alike and then completely different so we end up seeing more angles to things. you can put me in tears one second and then rip my soul out the next. i like u, ur a good. so ur kinda stuck with me. stay you cuz otherwise im gonna be feckin lost. 

@morgansmornings

also yes hello is this thing on? I LOVE YOU. yer a fecking gem of a human being and while u may not need me too i will go to war with my bat swinging for u always. you make me laugh when i wanna cry and always are an ear when i need to vent. i love ur imagination and ur brain and i can not gush enough about how amazing ur muse is. its takes someone extraordinary to make someone extraordinary. and your muse is extraordinary. remember that if nothing else. besties always cuz im keeping u sorry not sorry.

@seanceisms / @umbrellakidstm / @wolventm / @scciopath

fucking beautiful human being you are okay. i love you always and i will follow you across any blog you ever make. and that sounded way less stalkerish in my head but whatever you get it. u can’t escape me LOL. always an ear and always a joy to talk to even when we’re doing nothing but trading pictures or headcanons or screaming about stupidity we find or murdering each other with feels. 

@riggsanity

my dude ur a fecking treasure. ur humor is sharp and i love that. your amazing at your hobby and i love every reply i get from you. i love that we can have conversations that stretch over hours because we both get distracted or get busy but we always know where we’re at.  ur fantastic and im blessed to have met you.

@mynameisanakin

there are too many inside jokes and not enough time to list them all. this is a friendship that i fucking love and never wanna lose. ur unique and ur a fecking trip and i LOVE that about you. the sometimes brutal honesty is refreshing to say the least, and i can not word how much i love our thread and our future plots. stay golden like the sand in our Jamaican no fig capes. ;)

@the-blackest-spider

holy balls dude like how long have we known each other at this point? i cant even remember. all i know is i love u and i know we dont talk as much as we used too but i love that we can pick up right where we left off when we do and there’s not a beat missed. ur brilliant and will always ALWAYS be ‘my natasha’. 

@tabbyrp and  @corinnebaileyrp

you two are gifts okay. always have something kind to say to me. always checking on me when my ooc posts get a little weird and sideways. (more than usual anyway). i love both of you and i love our plots and threads. every single one. -throws cookies at both with exuberance- 

@thor-theavengergod

one of my closest dudes.i miss ur thor so much. but im glad we can stay connected on discord. ur artwork is GLORIOUS and always a joy to see pop up on my dash. you’re always an ear and never afraid to say what you think. and that’s really rare in this day and age. Keep being amazing my dude. u shine and it shows!

@bettershotthanbucky | @edithbarton / @hitslikeatruck / @mutatiiions

okay but like world of an au and plot we built i love it. you dudes are fucking beautiful and will always be my bartons(and wolverine/Piotr/and the rest). always. we dont always talk or are in each others day to day but when we do it’s always a riot. you guys are my dudes, dudes. never ever ever ever forget that. i’ll always be here for u dudes. whenever u need me and i know u’ll be the same for me cuz that’s just how ride or die dudes roll. -all the hugs-

@daggermxchanic

man let me talk about how fucking great it is to get to write luka with someone close to where he’s from even if it’s not the same time frame. Its amazing. I love your muse and i love the oppertunities he gives me to explore other facets of luka. Two grumpy old men never gets old and i LOVE ALL OF IT. ur a fucking amazing and don’t let no body tell u different my dude. ur classic.

@deathisachoice

okay we interact more on my pirate blog but fuck it i do what i want. im so glad u were able to finish ur thesis. im glad its behind u and that weight has been lifted. im super excited to get to talk to u more again and make awesome plots for our pirates (and maybe here too). either way ur writing is amazing and so are u. always a joy to talk to and write with!!

@ruthlessmeans / @mockeryofreason

okay but i love u alot. and i wish i could bat away all the bad that’s been happening as of late. just teach it a lesson so it fucks off permanently. but as i cant all i can do is offer cookies and remind u ur loved. i admire the decidcation that u have to ur muses. i love how u think through every angle and facet of them. that speaks volumes about u as a person. keep ur chin up my dude. ur silver lining is coming.

@canadianclaws

not so much rp’ing anymore but we stay in touch over discord and u literally NEVER fail to make me laugh even when i don’t want too or i’m feeling like something four days dead. i absolutely adore u and our friendship and i love that we can just drop funny fucking shit in our chat at random hours on any given day and its no big ya know? JUST LOVE U A LOT -tackle squishes-

@cochetsharpshooter

one of my best dudes and a fucking peach too boot. always uplifting and always the best gifs. years of jokes lbr and no enough angst and time in the day to write it all every probably. u are my bucky, always and forever. never lose ur wonder and ur drive my dude. ur inspiring. truly.

@ronmanmob

a gift with words right here. dedication to your muse on a level i’ve never seen. its phenomenal. always good vibes to talk to, always up beat. its honestly wonderful that we’re mutuals. always love reading your rps and ur blog is general is epic. keep it up. ur a gem.

@noprodigalson

life has gotten busy for u. taken u in different directions and that’s just something that happens. that’s life. but getting to see u pop up on my dash now and then. little updates and fashion drops it warms me up. ur style sense is amazing and so is ur hair. (yes i still want those pants). ur a beautiful human and hopefully life will let u get back to ur hobby here real soon. all my love my dude!

To all my of my followers: 

you all brilliant lights in the world, in your own ways. Never, ever, EVER forget that. you are amazing. you are all special. to me and the other people in your lives that mean the most. stay frosty. and KEEP WRITING. ALWAYS KEEP WRITING. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER THE TRIALS. KEEP WRITING!!  because remember there was a time when the world thought Van Gogh wasn’t worth anything at all and now he’s a house hold name even little kids know who he is. 

BE BRAVE

BE CREATIVE

BE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

-Crow

[grovey]

tag shadowbanning

okay enough testing because my test image of maelle here stopped working consistently haha (she used to be a ‘safe’ image, now the filters hate her) Here are some observations. these were done on browser/web. i haven’t done mobile as much but it looks like it shadowbans less.

I’ve noticed a certain pain for many artists here where they post but their work doesn’t show in the tags, despite it being sfw and despite their post apparently not being flagged. I still think tumbo is filtering them in some way.

offsite links will pretty much always get your post filtered. In fact even normal links to links within the tumblr domain (username.tumbo/post)  will shadowban your posts.

Unless it’s literally just “tumblr.com” or, for some strange reason, AO3??? AO3 doesn’t get shadowbanned, which is strange.

Links seemed to be checked for all the time, so if you have a link and then remove it, your post probably will show up again if nothing else is tipping off the filter, while if you add a link to an existing post, it’ll vanish from the tag.

I think having too many tags might tip off the filter too sometimes? not sure

Now for photo posts being filtered... I often check just the text contents under my photo posts (and even tags) on their own to see if they get past filter. If they do, it’s usually safe text.

In that case, it’s the photos that get your otherwise okay post shadowbanned. Sometimes they just take forever to show up in the tag, but it’s better y’know if you can see them immediately and know if they actually made it past filters???

Single photo posts, if they get past filter, will always show up in the the tag immediately.

I thiiink that’s the case with 2-photo posts too, but I’m not sure since it isn’t really consistent with me, I think I usually have one picture that tips off the filter and thus the whole post goes kaput

The filters hate photosets with 3 or more photos. no question. They like, never show up in the tag immediately, if ever.

This might just be because of the higher chance for multiple photos to set off filter, but I really can’t remember having a success on pc

However, on mobile, you can make faux-photosets (text posts with embedded image sets) and these don’t tip off the tag shadowban. I think.

And posting just regular photosets on the mobile app also is similar, i think: doesn’t tip off the filter, but i’ve only tested this once.

The filter isn’t consistent, as mentioned. Sometimes a filtered picture will pass upon reposting the same thing, or vice versa.

I think the filter only works when you first post a picture. Note I didn’t test this with drafted posts, though.

Editing a post to add another picture, I thiiink, will never tip off the filter again.

But also editing a post to remove a picture after it’s tipped off the filter won’t save it. it’ll stay shadowbanned.

That said, here’s the workaround for browser:

Post a picture and check to see if it’s been filtered. If it got through, go ahead and edit in the actual photos lmao and it should all show up???

As in literally I posted a picture of one dragon that went through safe and was able to add in another nine when in the past, some of those dragons always tipped off the filter and just having 10 photos means the tag will hate you

Again, another way is just to use tumblr mobile’s lol (unfortunate if that means a lot of photo transferrin)

[moonbeambucky]

Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @softhairbarnes (even though you tagged me 30 years ago!)

Fears: Spiders, fire, death

What are three topics you’d like to learn more about: astronomy, greek mythology and hmm i dont know

If you could stay one age forever, what age and why: I think 27 is a good age to always be. You’re not young but not old, its a neutral age.

Favorite movie quote and why: this is hard omg i cant possibly think

If you could fix any problem permanently, what would you fix and why: There are so many problems in the world its hard to choose just one. I think everyone needs to get back to appreciating nature, we should live more sustainably and instead of focusing on big corporate profits we should be putting food out there that is good for you. healthy/organic stuff should not be more expensive. We need to recycle more and find creative ways to upcycle things that are not biodegradable and use them in more resourceful ways. 

What is your favorite accent and why: Australian

What kind of accent do you have: a New York accent but not a strong one in my opinion, like I don’t say CHAWK-lit or CAW-fee lol

Dream job: Disney imagineer

Favorite ice-cream flavor: Cookies and cream

Pet peeve: When people chew loudly with their mouths open

Best thing that has ever happened to you: I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me but for now I’ll say the day my mom surprised me with a tiny puppy, my Coco who is now 13 💖

Are you okay: hahah nope!

If you could pack up and move to another country for a year, would you: Not without my dog

Which country would you move to: England

Which two celebrities do you wish were your parents: I’d want to keep my parents but can my grandparents please be Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews?

Would you rather live on a beach, mountaintop, on a farm, in the city, or in the forest: In the city.

4 favorite YouTubers: I don’t watch people specifically but I subscribe to HISHE, Screen Junkies, Wisecrack and Practical Folks

Which language do you wish you could become fluent in overnight: French

Favorite weather: Autumn

Tagging if you lovely people would like to participate: you know what I’ve had this in my drafts forever and sometimes I get really stressed on who to tag idk why so like anyone that wants to do this consider yourself tagged!💖

[onlylovekpop]

I’m Back!

Hello, everyone. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a little while. The past few weeks have been a little hectic for me. I’m closing drabble requests now and have received lots of good ideas. Thank you to all of those who submitted! Also, two of the requests have turned into oneshots (this is a rare thing, but sometimes I get carried away and it happens lol.) The oneshots will be a pirate!au with some smut for Jimin and a dance camp smut with Yugyeom. I’m also finishing up my first Jungkook smut oneshot that I started working on ages ago and involves Netflix and chill. Hehe. Hope you’re all doing well and please look forward to the upcoming drabbles and oneshots! :)

(replies below the cut beware im drinking vodka while i answer to make my responses more interesting hehe (actually im getting as drunk as i can to deal with my vengeful uterus which is very unhappy i have not conceived any spawn this month and is giving me cramps from hell) you may notice my spelling grammar and punctuation get worse as you read please dont hold it against me)

anonymous asked: Hi Leigh we haven't heard of you since you mentioned having knee surgery the next day and I had this really bad feeling I hope you are ok? For some reason I am genuinely concerned and I don't know why so I hope everything went well??

Yes, all is well! I healed in pretty good time and am already out and about again. It’s a surgery I’ve had before so I knew what to expect and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Thank you for checking on me. Sorry if I made you worry :)

omg-mystarx-neoctech asked: Hell YES JOOHEON.

I SAY THIS ON A DAILY BASIS!

anonymous asked: Can I just say I fucking love the layout and look of your blog. Also I just read one of your smuts and holy shit im deceased.

Thank you! I’ve been revamping some of the pages but I only have a few of them done, so a few things may be blank at the moment. I changed it so fics are listed by member instead of type I hope that’s better but if anyone has opinions on the layout please let me know :)

anonymous asked: OKAY BUT THAT JOOHEON SMUT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUSLY SINFUL. I'M HAVING HEART PROBLEMS.

Jooheon himself is deliciously sinful tbh. I have heart palpitations every time I see a pic of him wearing tight pants. Or just pants in general. i aint never seen such pretty thighs before

neon-flamingos asked: I read Rhythm and omg i criedddddd it was so good i just can imagine Jooheon saying all those dirty thingssss my vayjayjay cries

look i recently saw that vid of him speaking english and his accent is so good which means i can totally hear him in my head saying all them naughty english things this is not good what have i done my lady parts also cry HELP

anonymous asked: Everyone is talking about the Jooheon smut and I'm here still crying because of how hard Chained up hit me

oh god that was not my best work but im glad you enjoyed it the thing never got edited i hope its not a hot mess haha sorry markiepooh but it still got the job done i think hehehe

anonymous asked: A part of me regrets reading Underworld AF....but it was such a good read too... that last chapter HURT but it was a good hurt

oh no dont regret reading it! that makes me sad! its a long ass fic i dont want you to get to the end of it and think holy shit i wasted so much time reading that horror flick i tried to bring it full circle in the end im glad you thought it was a good read i panicked for a second haha

honeyheonie asked: HOLY FUCK!!!! I have sinned. 'Rythm' was 👌👌👌👌👌

me too darling ;) thank ya

anonymous asked: Do you have a quote or prompt list we could use? :)

i do not. i leave it up to you guys that way you have lots to choose from

topaz-and-turquoise asked: For some reason, I only just got to binge-read the last 3 chapters of Underworld. Leigh. LEIGH. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF BTS-GOT7 CROSSOVERS. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CROSSOVERS. THE QUEEN OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU'S. OF ALL AU'S. YOU ARE THE BEST AT WRITING TENSION AND HEART-WRENCHING SCENES AND THE COMPLEXITY OF PEOPLE AND JUST HOLY FRICK YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU FOR THIS. I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KPOP FANFIC OF ALL TIME. I'M SAD IT'S OVER BUT I'M SO SATISFIED. YOU ARE THE BEST.

she calls ME QUEEN! thank you thank you I SQUEAL A LOT AT THIS im actually sad its over too. but im content with it. I HOPE IT IS FOREVER YOUR FAVE you stuck with me through the whole thing thank you i love you

statetheobvious04 asked: I've long been a follower for your underworld series and Jesus christ it's one of the best series of read ever. The storyline was so gripping and full of love and loss that by the time I finished the last chapter my chest was heavy and I nearly cried. Idk how you did it but I feel like I've personally lived through minas insane and perilous journey and felt every single emotion as if it were my own. It's een a while since I've read the earlier chapters but I feel like if I do il start 1/2 2/2 sobbing. You are such an amazing and talented writer that this story deserves to be developed into a book or movie but eve then those may not do it justice. But honestly, thank you so much for sharing and writing. And I’m so happy mina finally got the life she deserves and that everyone else managed to find peace in Iceland 💜💜💜💜

THIS MAKES ME HAPPPY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN I DESCRIBE MY JOY AT THIS MESSAGE you make me cry thank you for loving mina and thank you for supporting the story and thank you for telling me how it felt to read it i love you <3

anonymous asked: hi leigh! I have a question. I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way, I'm just curious! May I ask why you're not taking exo requests?

you’re good honey :) honestly im just not in an exo mood at the moment. i still write for them i still even have a baekhyun oneshot in my drafts idk im just not feeling like writing for them for drabbles at the moment if that makes sense

anonymous asked: Do you still open the drabble request?

they are closed now.

anonymous asked: I'm a Yoongi at heart but your story Underworld made my heart 'boom boom'. Seriously this is the best mafia /zombie apocalypse AU I have ever read and I read a lot of fan fiction. Keep up the good work. PS: Some drabbles based on Underworld wouldn't hurt. PSS: If you don't understand the heart boom boom reference , go see the latest Buzzfeed interview of BTS.

i can’t help but only hear got7′s boom boom boom though haha im down for underworld drabbles i think i mentioned before that any gang!au drabbles i do will be in the underworld universe before the zombie outbreak so far i only have the one for bambam i would link it but im too tipsy for something that level right now sorry :D

anonymous asked: I fucking love your angst writings, they get me emotional aha

thank you i love angst i like toying with emotions ehehe

anonymous asked: Underworld is amazing!!! One of the best stories I've read, even though it has me crying from Paris all the way to the end.😭😭😭😭 You done good. 😁

we dont talk about paris haha jk that one hurt too much thank you darling that its one of the best you’ve read means the world to me :)

anonymous asked: How can you write like thattttt!!!! I adore you. I'll always be your follower 💖

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU and i’ll always be here! i promise <3

anonymous asked: Who is that in your header gif?

It’s Suga :)

thewriterpixie asked: *squeals* I just finished reading the Suga father/daughter date drabble! It made my day!

Thank you! I love that one so much :)

anonymous asked:  Okay I was reading Wake Up and Play with Me and for some reason it reminded me of their song Paradise?¿¿ Now whenever I hear it I'm gonna associate it with this smut xD

Ooh i like the sound of that! i really love Paradise but I think Sign is my favorite on the album but how do you get your question marks upside down i thought the room was spinning for a second i kid you not lol

anonymous asked: Your Jooheon smut got me looking at Jooheony at a different way now 😏 thank you for writing such a quality one shot! You're one of the best of the best!

YAS come to the jooheon side we have thick thighs and adorable dimples you will not regret this ;)

taecmekai asked: hope you are ok and recovering well from your knee surgery :)

i’m okay! gained a few pounds from being stuck on the couch for a few days but idgaf hehe ;) i’ll get back to yoga when i feel like it

coppertopging asked: I just finished Underworld. holy crap the emotional coaster you took me on! I read the last 7 chaps today & i couldn't stop crying. I didn't when Jae died, but his 'funeral' got me with the reactions from everyone. & then Hobi?! That was the most painful. I had to stop & pull myself together. Yoongi made me laugh a little with his delivery. My favorite part of the ending was the Jk/Yugy part. The only thing I felt was missing was more detail into Namjoon & Jin. But this story was amazing!!!

yeah hoseok was the hardest for me too. i wanted to keep anything namjin related kinda vague and open to the reader’s interpretation that’s why there wasn’t much material there but im very glad you enjoyed the story thank you :)

anonymous asked: holy fucking shit. it's 4am and i just finished reading Underworld and i'm crying so hard there's so many emotions i'm feeling. thank you so much for that masterpiece. it's the first work of yours i've read and omfg you're talented as fuck. i'm actually a bit speechless still tbh it's only fully processing to me ...hobi... he's not even my bias but i'm crying so hard i need help wow SO MUCH LOVE FOR U AND UR WRITING THO

omg i cant believe you stayed up that late to read it i wish i could do that but in my old age i dont bounce back that well anymore (i just turned 27 and am very upset about it) anyway THANK YOU this makes me very happy

danphilandstuff asked: OH MY FUCKING GOD RHYTHM WAS SO FUCKING GOOD THANK YOU SO MUCH ITS ACTUALLY HOW I IMAGINED HIM TO BE IT FELT SO REAL IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST FANFIC IVE EVER READ IM CURRENTLY READING YOUR MASTER LIST. you're actually such an amazing writer thank you so much (Could I request more Jooheon fics? ((If you want and have time)) )

i will never stop writing jooheon fics. you have nothing to worry about there haha. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE BEST FANFIC YOUVE READ IT WAS SUCH A RAUNCHY SEX FEST I SHOULD BE ASHAMED lol just kidding no but in all seriousness THANK YOU I LOVE YOU IM GLAD YOU LOVED IT I HOPE YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE MUHAHA

anonymous asked: (1/3) Hey lovely! I came across your blog today after reading your monsta x all in one shot and i just wanted to say thank you for writing something so incredible! it had me gripped from start to finish and it was honestly one of the most (2/3) well-written pieces ive ever read, I would love to be able to write at your standard one day. I cant express how grateful i am, it put me through so many emotions and i actually had tears in my eyes at one point! So yeah, apologies for this (3/3) being so long but i just wanted to express my gratitude and say that you are an amazing writer :) x

oh my goodness this was ridiculously lovely. i am very proud of All In and how it turned out. i hope to finish the sequel soon. i keep getting writers block on it and i dont know why but anyway. thank you for sending me this and im thrilled that i could write something you enjoy very much. you are too kind thank you <3