#There's so much love and warmth that i constantly felt like under the warmest of blankets when I was playing it

[conscydraws]

It's finished. My 111 hours long lovesong dedicated to Jusant ~💕

[nowritingonthewall]

Hi! Can I ask for some random and domestic Poe HC? 🤧

Hello Nonnie, thank you so much for your request! I am sorry that my hcs always appear to escalate into mini-essays, I hope that you enjoy them anyway 🥰

!Content warning for allusions to past trauma (because it’s Poe) but it’s mostly fluffy!

Domestic headcanons with Poe (x gn!reader)

- If you were honest, you would never have expected Poe to actually settle down after the Battle of Exegol and the fall of the First Order. After all, he had been on the run since he had been 16 years old, his family a bunch of rebels, his home scattered across the stars. You had fully expected him to make his new job as a flying instructor his whole new life, filling every second with something exciting to do, always chasing the next thrill, never slowing down and let himself think for even a minute.

Instead, after helping the New Republic to get back on its feet, he had put most of his energy and devotion into making a home with you.

Even though he loves his job teaching students (and spending a lot of time in his x-wing while doing so), he always makes sure to finish on time so that he can spend as much of the remainder of the day with you as possible. It has become one of your daily little rituals for you to wait for him, sitting on your porch, two mugs of freshly brewed caf in your hands. It never stops warming your heart to see that gorgeous crinkly-eyed smile lighting up his face as soon as he sees you waiting for him. Giving you an adorable little wave, he always quickens his pace before pulling you into a long and heartfelt hug.

Watching the suns painting the sky with the most beautiful colours imaginable, you’ll sit snuggled up against each other, listening to each other's daily adventures.

It usually doesn’t take long before Poe’s head grows heavy against your shoulders. The first few times he tried to fight it and wouldn’t stop apologizing, no matter how often you tried to assure him that you didn’t mind at all. But soon these late afternoon or early evening naps become just another part of your daily routine.

Poe spent more than half his life making sure that everyone around him felt safe. Now, with the war becoming a more and more distant memory each day, it’s like his mind finally allows his body to catch up on all the rest that he has been denied during all those years – finally feeling safe in your arms.

And there really aren’t a lot of things that you enjoy more than holding your sleepy boy with his head resting in your lap, one hand intertwined with his, as the other one plays with his hair. You smile at every patch of grey that you find among his inky curls, more than grateful to be given the precious gift of being allowed to watch him grow old with you. It makes the warmest and fuzziest feelings bloom inside your heart to see his worry lines relax under the soft touch of your hand as you listen to his content mumbling and cutest little sighs.

- He still can’t sleep without you around, though. Whenever he is in dire need of a nap, and the weather has gone too cold to sit outside, even under a heap of cuddly blankets, he’ll sit down on the couch, look at you with the most irresistible baby ewok eyes and his softest smile and tap on his chest to ask for his favourite human blanket.

Sometimes he falls asleep within seconds as soon as you snuggle up to him. Sometimes he finds that it wasn’t sleep that he craved after all but simply the comforting presence of you right next to him, listening to the soothing rhythm of your breathing as you drift into peaceful slumber until his breath synchronizes with yours in perfect harmony. And sometimes your planned naps turn into Poe and you talking nonsense for hours, exchanging forehead kisses and nose rubs between giggles.

Poe used to think that the only way to escape the constantly reoccurring ringing in his ears was to drown it out with something even louder. Now he realizes that all he needs to find relief is the soft warmth of you lying on top of him, the shape of your bodies fitting together as perfectly as if they had been custom made for each other.

- And he allows himself to take his time with everything that he does. No more bone crushing hugs that aren’t allowed to last longer than a second and that he’d hoped would convey everything that he hadn’t time for to tell you in case he wouldn’t make it back from a mission. No more quick and chaste kisses to whatever body part they would land on before hurrying off into the next briefing or meeting.

Now he makes sure to pour all of his undying love for you into every single hug until you feel nothing but warm and safe and cared for. Every kiss of him shows you that you are the centre of his universe, from the very first kiss in the morning to the last kiss goodnight. They have become so much more tender and gentler, yet they never leave a single trace of doubt about his feelings for you.

Quick shared showers that used to be a practical necessity turn into long shared baths that last until the water turns cold. Sometimes when you aren’t ready to step out of your cocoon of warmth just yet, you wrap each other in fluffy towels and make yourself comfortable on the heating unit waiting until you’re dried off.

As you cuddle up to each other, enjoying the closeness, you find a new softness and gentleness to your relationship that you had never thought possible. You are no longer clinging to each other for dear life, always scared that you might lose each other the next minute, constantly feeling like loving on borrowed time.

And Poe takes his time rediscovering and getting to know you all over again. Gently scrubbing your back in the bath or giving you a long tension-relieving massage. Learning everything there is to know about how you take care of your hair, while committing every single detail about you to memory. Not because he fears that every time might be the very last chance to do so but because he decided to commit every single fibre of his heart and soul to loving you. Because he chooses you. Over and over again.

It takes a while for him to get comfortable letting you take care of him the same way that he takes care of you. Yet every time it is your turn to hold him in the bathtub, he finds it a little easier to relax against your chest, melting into your embrace a little deeper. With every soft kiss pressed to his temple, he manages to let go a little further. As he rests his cheek against yours, while your hands are slowly caressing over his arms, he has never felt more vulnerable and at the same time more safe and protected than during those moments.

That’s when the tears tend to flow.

Those are the days when you make sure to take extra good care of him. Letting him rest his head against your shoulder as you carefully pat his back with a towel, gently kissing his tears away before placing a soft kiss on every single one of his scars, putting pain relieving lotion on his arm and massaging his tense shoulder. Only a few months ago this kind of special treatment would have made him feel more than uncomfortable. Seeing his own needs through your loving eyes, he slowly begins to accept that it is okay to take them seriously. And as he curls up against your chest, he doesn’t only allow it but he knows that he can completely trust you to take care of him.

- Poe has always loved to dance. Nearly as much as he loves to cuddle with you. Sadly, the days of the Resistance hadn’t exactly given you a lot of opportunity to do so and reasons to break into celebratory dances had been all too rare. So now he takes any chance he gets to hug you from behind, snuggle up as close to you as possible, rest his head on your shoulder and his cheek against yours while swaying the both of you to some music coming from your holopad or to a secret rhythm that only the two of you seem to be able to feel.

You dance in the morning while waiting for the first few cups of caf to brew, while waiting for something yummy baking in the oven, when you’re trying to dust the shelves, or while doing the dishes.

Doing the dishes never becomes a boring task with Poe. If he doesn’t turn it into a dance, there are bound to be lather battles that more often than not turn into tickle fights. And they always end with him using the dish cloth to draw you in for a long and wobbly-knees-inducing kiss.

This is also where most of your more serious conversations take place. It’s always been easier for Poe to talk about difficult topics while his hands have something to do. So whenever you feel like there’s something on his mind that he has trouble talking about, you’ll ask him “dish discussion?”, to which he answers with a relieved smile.

And, of course, should the topic require some serious hugging action, you can always continue your discussion on the kitchen floor, which proves over and over again to be the best place to solve any problem imaginable. And in case one of you should be in need of an even more comforting atmosphere, your kitchen cabinet features an extra compartment containing all the components required to build a blanket fort. It’s a habit that goes back to the early days of you joining the Resistance. And afterwards your blanket fort of safety can easily be converted into a blanket fort of romantic dinners and cuddle sessions.

- The two of you share a little garden with Rey, who doesn’t live too far away from you (I am sorry, LEGO, I refuse to believe that the trio would ever split up!). At least it was a little garden in the beginning. It all started when Poe noticed how Rey’s eyes would start to sparkle whenever she came across anything lush and green. So he began to present her with a special plant from every place that he visited. Pretty soon even her house was too small to accommodate her (not so) little personal jungle, so you helped her turning her backyard into a little garden. Which just kept on expanding. Because it never stopped warming Poe’s heart to see the way Rey’s face shining brighter than the suns whenever he found a new exotic plant for her.

He helped her create her special place of happiness both in her mind and in the physical world and you two are the only ones apart from Finn she trusts to take care of it. Even if your and Poe’s gardening sessions sometimes turn into several rounds of mud wrestling or splashy water fights.

Poe’s first very own gardening project featured the planting of a row of koyo trees. They weren’t even supposed to be able to grow in this climate but Poe Dameron has never been one to let logic or reason stand in the way of matters close to his heart. After all, he had managed to nurse a force tree back to health without any jedi tricks. And maybe Rey’s and Finn’s way with the force helped a little, too. Though he will always tell everyone willing (or maybe not too willing) to listen that it was your loving care that made the trees grow and flourish and bloom in the end.

His proud little face when he was able to harvest the very first fruit is another one of your many precious and treasured memories. Of course he let you have the first bite, almost a little nervous about your reaction.

The original plan was to turn the fruits into juice and jelly and lots of cakes. Which was a good plan. And it probably would have worked if the koyo fruits hadn’t been so damn tasty that you ate most of them before they ever had a chance to land in a basket. And what better way to spend the last days of summer than sitting lazily in the cool shadow of a koyo tree, taking turns to lie in each others lap while feeding each other freshly picked koyo fruits?

- During the nights when neither of you is able to sleep, you’ll climb onto the roof of your house, which offers a snug little platform that provides the perfect secluded retreat to lie on your back and gaze at all the stars in the galaxy. A galaxy that’s finally at peace.

Poe’s gaze keeps wandering back to you, though, and every time it does, he can’t stop smiling. As soon as you notice, you’ll snuggle a little closer to cradle his head and place the softest little kiss on his forehead, making him smile even wider. Softly stroking your cheek, he returns the kiss. On your nose, on your temple, across your jaw line, all over both of your cheeks, and everywhere he can reach.

You finally dare to make plans for the future again. Talking about all the stars and systems and planets you would like to explore together. Without rush, without being constantly on your guard, actually being able to look forward to visiting them.

The important thing is that Poe is no longer driven by the uncontrollable need to chase every single one of them. Because he has his own little galaxy lying right here by his side.

[tinyjeanmarco]

Ahhhhh okay, so I love your relationship hcs so much, they’re all so sweet and special and they feel so perfect for each character 🥺

Could you do relationship hcs for modern Reiner? If you want to ofc.

modern!reiner relationship hc’s!

thank you so much 🥺 that means a lot to me because i try really hard to make them special and unique for each character. the fact that you see that makes me so happy ! ♡ and yes of course i’ll write some modern reiner hc’s ! i did a bit of a character study before writing this so that i could really capture him correctly. i definitely thing modern reiner is different from canon reiner cause he hasn’t gone through the same trauma. i don’t wanna hurt him too much though so i’m not gonna give him a whole lot of trauma. 😭 i hope you enjoy, darling!! ♡

modern!reiner x gn! reader

warnings: none

you and reiner definitely went to the same schools growing up, even ran in the same friend group.

your friends could totally tell that you had a crush on each other in high school, but nothing ever really came from it. you just kinda flirted with one another, yet no one felt confident to take the first step.

reiner was a bit insecure about his looks, afraid to make a move on you because when he was younger, people made fun of him for being chubby. he just felt like he was so out of your league. poor baby. ;;

but you guys were still really close as teens! 

once you graduated, you kinda stopped talking as much, until it sort of stopped altogether.

however, pieck and zeke were still friends with you guys, and decided to set you two up on a blind date one day.

pieck was tired of you moping about being single, and so she conspired with zeke to set you two up since they knew you had a thing for one another when you were younger.

you were super reluctant, not wanting to go on a date with some guy who was a creep, but you trusted pieck to set you up with someone she trusted. thus, you went out to the little cafe to meet your date.

SURPRISE it was reiner. you were just as shocked as him when you sat down.

reiner was the happiest man ever. his long time crush on a date with him? he just hoped it lasted past this one date.

it was kinda awkward at first, both of you shy since you both had wanted this for the longest time, but you two started catching up, talking about how your lives were going since you stopped talking.

you had both confessed your long time feelings and laughed about how silly you guys were for never doing anything about it when the feeling was mutual.

at least it happened now rather than never!

your relationship bloomed after that! reiner would text you all the time, sending cute memes about how much he liked you. expect those every single day. he sends one in the morning to help you get through the day and sends them sporadically for the rest of the day.

he’s definitely one of the clingiest boyfriends. he loves to constantly talk to you, whether it’s over text, call, facetime, or in person.

PHONE CALLS WITH REINER!! 

he loves to call you. his favorite is facetime though because he loves looking at your face and telling you how cute you are. calls for hours each night before bed, falling asleep on the phone together. 

one of your favorite things is to wake up and see he’s still on the call with you, hearing him snore. you smile to yourself and bury yourself under the covers for a few more minutes of shut eye before having to get up.

his deep, gravely morning voice though, oh my.

“good morning, baby.” 

he’s the softest, agh. reiner is just such a cuddly boyfriend who wants to protect you from the world. he loves holding you close to him when you guys are sitting on the couch together watching a movie.

pulls you close to him, arms around your waist as he tucks you into his chest. he’s the warmest, too. you’re never cold when tangled together.

he shares the softest kisses with you. tilting your chin up to kiss you, almost barely touching your lips together, savoring the heat from your lips.

he loves to make out with you, too. like not even in a heated way. he’s just so glad you’re finally his and loves having the most gentle make out sessions. it’s so slow and beautiful. he has his hands resting on your jaw and neck.

also loves to just hold you on his lap. cuddling with you sitting on him, legs around his waist, arms around his neck, and he has his arms wrapped around your middle. he rubs soothing circles into your back as you two kind of rock side to side.

reiner is one to absolutely adore your body. having issues with his growing up, and still now, he just wants you to know he loves every dip, edge, curve of your body.

definitely the type for like wholesome nudity. i personally love like the intimacy of just trusting yourself completely to someone, that you’re okay to just, be nude with them.

reiner is the kind to love that, too. when you guys move in together, you both end up comfortable to walk around in just your undergarments, or nothing at all. it’s very special for both of you, because he’s trusting his insecurities to you, and you’re the same. 

he will run his hands along your smooth skin at any chance he gets, reminding himself that you are here, you’re real, and wont be leaving him.

when he has a bad day, let him be the little spoon, it makes him feel small and taken care of, like he is recharging and tomorrow will be better.

you guys honestly act like a married couple and it makes all your friends complain LOL. 

you guys are always fawning over each other in public, making sure that you both eat well when your whole group goes out to eat and hang out. reiner will definitely be the type to hold your coat/jacket when you don’t want to wear it or carry it.

 will leave little notes around the house for you, telling you how much he loves you. slips them into your lunches you take to work/class. he wants his baby to have encouragement to get through the day!

he will cook dinner for you guys all the time. he’s so good at it! reiner’s food tastes the best. his favorite thing is setting up the dinner table with flowers, candles, making it all romantic so that you guys can have a little date at home. 

it’s the best when you come home from a long day and see him with his little apron on that says “kiss the cook” and sweats with no shirt on. you love pressing against his bare broad back, letting his warmth melt away the stress of the day ,pressing tiny kisses between his shoulder blades.

he tells you to get comfy and wash up because dinner is almost ready.

soft smooch and sends you on your way with a butt pat.

overall, reiner is best boyfie, give him loveeee!! he will always give you love and cherish you. ♡

[wandanatfluff]

"I love you"

One shot Fluff (and a little bit angst I guess)

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

Summary: Reader and Wanda are good friends. Reader is in love with Wanda and tells Wanda, but even though Wanda loves Y/n, she tells her that they can’t be together.

Warnings: none

Word count: 3.8 K

A/n: So this is my first fanfiction!!! I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you guys enjoy reading it :-)! Wanda is in italics.

Steve, Tony, Bruce, Nat, and Clint were currently in a debriefing of the most recent mission at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and that leaves you and Wanda alone in the Avengers Tower.

You open the door of the freezer and grab the chocolate ice cream that you bought earlier this week. It is four a.m. and you are in the kitchen in a pair of soft shorts and a t-shirt. After closing the freezer and grabbing two spoons, you turn off the lights in the kitchen and walk down the hall to room 208. With the ice creams and spoons in one hand you stand still in front of the room. You hear can hear someone sobbing on the other side of the door quietly before you knock. The person in the room quickly wipes away their tears and clears their throat before opening the door.

“Hey?” Wanda speaks with a hoarse voice.

“Hey. It’s me.” You say.

“I brought you ice cream.” And you show her the ice cream. A small, but sad smile appears on her face and she lets you in. She gestures to the bed and you take place on the colorful covers. She sits down next to you and turns on the tv. She puts on a sitcom and you hand her a spoon.

“Do you want to talk about him?”

“Uh… not really.”

“That’s okay.”

Wanda nods her head and tears fill her eyes again as she softly begins to cry. You put away the ice cream that was standing in between the two of you so you can move closer to Wanda. You lay one hand on her shoulder, silently asking for permission to hold her in your arms. Wanda’s body relaxes under your touch and you carefully pull her into a hug. You lay her head on your chest, one arm wrapped around her warm body. Your other hand on the side of her head, softly stroking her hair.

It’s later in the evening and you are in your room, reading a book in the chair next to the window. You flip the page and you are just about to start your next chapter when Wanda knocks on your open door. You put your finger between the pages and you close your book, looking up at Wanda, making sure she knows she has your full attention. Wanda is standing in the door opening, fidgeting with her fingers, like she always does. It’s the most adorable thing.

“I uhm, was going to start dinner. The rest should be here in an hour or so. I could use some help in the kitchen.”

“I mean, you don’t have to… I can do it alone, but just if you, you know, want to.” A shy smile appears on her face and her cheeks turn soft pink as she looks down at her hands.

You smile at her flood of words and tell her that you would love to help her cook. You pick up your bookmark, put it between the pages and lay your book on the side table. You get up from your chair and walk to the kitchen.

“What do you want to make?” You ask Wanda. “I don’t know, I was thinking maybe pasta?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Let me just change my shirt, I’d prefer not to spill red sauce on my new top.” You say and smile. You go to your room and replace your light blue tank top for a short red t-shirt to go on top of your dark blue jeans.

Once you made your way back to the kitchen, Wanda has already started to gather the right ingredients, while mumbling in half English, half Sokovian.

“Chicken… tomatoes… paprika.”

You grin and let out a small chuckle at the way she pronounces paprika. She looks up at you and your eyes interlock.

She looks so good in that red shirt. It’s impossible not look at her. The short red shirt shows a bit of her tanned body and your eyes are immediately drawn to her perfect skin. Your eyes make their way up to hers and they suck you in. You suddenly realize that you are staring and quickly look the other way as you continue with what you were doing. Your cheeks turning the color of the tomatoes.

It was just for a brief moment, but you could have sworn Wanda stared at you. It was probably just your imagination, but it was what you needed to take the first step.

Wanda had already cut the zucchini and was just washing the paprika when you softly touch her wet hands and lay the paprika next to the sink.

A pleasant shiver goes through your body as your hands touch.

You hold each of her hands in yours, so that she faces you. She is looking down at the floor and you let go of one hand to gently touch her jawline, guiding her eyes into yours. You look into her beautiful green eyes as you grab her hand once again.

“Wanda-” You start. Your heart is beating so loud, that you’re afraid she can hear it, your skin on fire and a lump starts to form in your throat as your lips form the words.

“I love you.”

You said it. You finally said, what you were trying to tell her for months now.

I love you, she said it. Your worst fear had come true. Don’t get it wrong, this was exactly what you wanted, but at the same time it was what you feared. You feared your feelings for her. You loved laying in her arms and being around her, without having to talk about anything, without having to tell her how you feel. But it all changed, because she said the three words, that you couldn’t say. The words that would change everything between the two of you. You knew that she expected a response. Y/n obviously wanted to know how you felt and all you wanted to do was tell her you loved her too, but you couldn’t, so instead you said:

“I know right, how could you not.” And you fake-grinned.

You bit your tongue as soon as the words left your mouth. She had just handed you her heart and you made a joke about it. A joke. Literally the worst thing you could do… and the last thing you wanted to do.

You could see y/n’s demeanor change. You caught a glimpse of pain in the e/c of her eyes.

She continued.

“I don’t know if you get what I’m trying to tell you, Wanda, but I love you. I like, love you.”

Of course you knew what she meant, you were just playing dumb and all that because you couldn’t deal with you own feelings. You played it dumb and you hated yourself for it.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

“You don’t feel the same.” She said and she looked down before meeting your eyes again.

You could now clearly see the hurt in her eyes. Before you met y/n, e/c eyes were just e/c, but her eyes are the warmest eyes you have ever seen. They are soft and ever-comforting. Whenever you would cry, you would find comfort in them. Whenever she was sad it broke your heart. And your heart did break, seeing her like this. The fact that you caused it made you feel even worse.

“I, I’m sorry Y/n. I love you too, but not like that.”

You loved her, but you couldn’t be with her. You had forbidden yourself to fall in love with her.

“I get it.”

Y/n let go of your hands and turned around to open a drawer to get a cutting board. She grabbed the mushrooms and started to slice them.

Everything inside you was hurting, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces. You didn’t blame Wanda for feeling like that, though. You understood it. You yourself had come to terms with your feelings a while ago. You loved her and you knew you could never love anyone as much as you loved Wanda, you wanted to be with her. Even though Wanda did not reciprocate your feelings, you were still happy you told her about yours. At least you can now live without constantly wondering if she felt the same about you.

After the two of you finish preparing dinner, you put on your coat.

“Don’t wait for me for dinner. You guys can start without me.”

You leave the compound, stepping into the cold air. You get into your car and drive as far from the compound as possible. You try to hold back your tears as you reach the edge of Central Park. You step out of your car and with your hands in your pockets you enter the park. The wind stings in your eyes and you finally let out the tears. You walk around the entire park while tears stream down your face. After two hours of crying, you numbly walk back to your car. You sit in your car for a moment, your eyes thick and red. Even your nose turned red under the cold outside. You take a detour back to the compound and arrive at around 2 a.m., you lock your car and open the door of the building. The warmth of the air inside hugs you as you walk to the kitchen. You see that Wanda left you a plate with pasta on the counter and you put it in the microwave. Five minutes go bye as you stare at the clock counting down. You grab your hot plate and almost burn your fingers. You sit down on the couch and turn on a random tv show, while eating your pasta.

After you finish your pasta, you fall asleep on the couch.

*** You wake up by Natasha’s voice. She is standing next to the couch.

“Hey y/n, wake up sleepyhead.”

You grumble some noises and shift on the couch. “I heard you come in last night, it was quite late. Are you okay?” Natasha asks you with a slight worry in her voice.

Anyone could have slept on the couch, that didn’t mean anything was off. Natasha knew better, though. Where the rest may have thought you drank too much and had a hangover, Natasha knew better. You never drink. Your brother was involved in a car accident with a drunk driver and he didn’t survive. Therefore, you didn’t drink any alcohol. Natasha and Wanda were the only people that knew about the accident.

You yawn before slowly opening your eyes, but the second you do, you remember everything that happened last night. Your eyes fill with tears as you start to cry and Natasha pulls you into a hug, sitting next to you on the couch.

“Shh, let it all out darling, I’m here.” Natasha comforts you. You cry and your salt tears stain her shirt. When you’re done crying Natasha lets go of you and gets you a glass of water. You take a few sips.

“Where’s the rest?” You ask her with a hoarse voice. “Fury called them in for a mission. We have the compound to ourselves for the next few days.”

You nod your head and to be honest you’re happy that you don’t have to see Wanda for a while, because you’re not sure if you would be able to keep it dry. You slowly sit up straight and take a few deep breaths, before standing up and walking to your room. You open the door and see a framed photo on your bed. It is a picture of you and Wanda at a funfair. You had put ice cream on the tip of Wanda’s and were just about to clean it with your thumb when the picture was taken. You had never seen this picture before, so you assume Wanda must have had it all this time and after last night she decided to give it to you. There was a little note next to the picture.

We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen, still

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet

- Ed Sheeran

I wanted you to have this.

Wanda

Your stomach twisted as you read the words. You let the picture slip out your hand and rushed to the bathroom. Kneeling down next to the toilet you throw up. Nat heard you and immediately rushed to you. She stood behind you, holding your hair up and softly humming a Russian song. When you emptied your stomach, Natasha got your glass of water. As Natasha left the bathroom, you sat down leaning your back against the wall. You pulled up your knees and with your hands in your hair, you closed your eyes. You felt like crying, but there were no more tears left to cry, you were exhausted. When Natasha came back, she ordered you’d take a shower and then go to bed. You followed her orders and snuggled into your blankets. You were cold, even though your blankets were thick, you probably had a fever. Great. You eventually fell asleep and woke up a few hours later, when Nat came to check on you.

“Hey y/n. How are you feeling?” She sat down on the edge of your bed with two pills in her hand. You took the pills with a sip of water and sighed.

“Better, thanks. The sleep served me well.”

“I was thinking about watching a movie, wanna join me?”

“Yeah, sure.” You got out of your bed, put on your robe and put on a pair of fluffy socks. You walked to the couch, where Natasha was waiting for you with a blanket on her lap. You sat down next to her, laying your head on her lap as she put the blanket over you. You looked up at her, cracking a smile. She smiled back and started the movie.

*** A few days had passed and you were feeling a lot better already. Well, physically. Your mental health was still a mess and you would often burst out into tears, while doing the simplest things like taking out the trash. Today was a good day though. You were able to think about Wanda without breaking down. You were walking on the grass around the compound, taking in the silence. Natasha was out doing groceries, so you had the entire compound for yourself. You decided to take advantage of the situation and went back in to find the piano in the corner of the common room. You sat down on the piano stool and let your fingers rest on the keys. You played a few songs and sang along. After a few minutes you were so lost in the music, that you didn’t hear her enter the room. The song you played was about her and you pretended you were singing the song to her. If only she could hear you…

While the rest was still outside, discussing the mission, you entered the compound. It was a tough mission, especially with all the things that were going through your head, your conversation with y/n playing over and over again. You had already gone inside, headed for your room, so you could give your tired body a shower and change into some clean clothes. You are halfway down the hallway when you hear music coming from the common room. Curious, you open the doors.

There she is, Y/n, playing the piano while singing along. Her hair tucked behind her ear. Slightly flowing on her back as she presses the piano keys. Her eyes closed as her clear voice echoes through the room. The music is soft to your ears until you listen to what she’s singing.

You recognize the song, Y/n would occasionally hum the song with a sad smile on her face. Sometimes she would even let a tear stroll down her cheek. Now that you heard the lyrics that belonged to the tune, you finally understood the sadness in her smile.

I can’t stop these silent tears from rolling down

You and I both have to hide on the outside

Where I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine

But I know this, we got a love that is hopeless

Why can’t I hold you in the street

Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t it be like that

…

Cause I’m yours

And you would always be.

You knew Wanda couldn’t be with you, but it didn’t stop you from hoping. Hoping and dreaming of a future with her.

What you didn’t know was that Wanda felt the exact same, that she was in the same room as you, hearing every word that left your lips. She took in every word like they were hers.

Why can’t I say that I’m in love

I wanna shout it from the rooftops

Tears formed in Wanda’s eyes and she wiped them away. She stormed out of the room, sight blurry as she undressed, stepped in the shower and tried to wash off her feelings. The hot water burned on her skin, but she figured she deserved it. She broke your heart, simply because she couldn’t confess to herself that her crush was a girl. A girl.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, merging with the water coming from the showerhead.

And then it hit her. She didn’t just like any girl. She liked you and you weren’t just someone she could stop herself from falling in love with. She could no longer deny her feelings about you. No. She loved you and all she wanted was to be with you. She missed the warm hugs you would welcome her with after another exhausting mission. The soft kisses you would leave on her cheeks. The ice cream you would keep in the freezer for whenever she missed her brother. The sitcoms you would watch with her in silence. She had to be with you.

Wanda quickly finished showering and put on some shorts with a red hoodie on top, matching her copper locks. Her wet hair unbrushed, bound together in a low messy bun. She took a quick look in the mirror, her cheeks slightly red from the warmth, caused by the nerves she felt. What if she had ruined her chance on you? What if you didn’t want her anymore? She figured there was only one way to find out and she went to your room. You weren’t in your room, so she went to the main living room. You weren’t behind the piano anymore. Instead, you were now in the kitchen, talking to the rest, laughing. You looked gorgeous. Wanda honestly didn’t think nor care about the company. She couldn’t stop herself…

You were talking to Steve when the redhead in the corner of your eye caught your attention. She was just as pretty as usual in her simple shorts and hoodie. So pretty that it hurts. You guided your attention back to your conversation with Steve when you felt a hand on your lower arm. Wanda pulled you away from Steve and took you to the living room. She pulled you into a shadowed nook and pressed you against the wall. You looked into her emerald eyes wondering what was going on, but just when you were about to ask her, you felt soft lips touching yours. Your breath caught in the back of your throat as you were completely starstruck. What was she doing? Wanda didn’t like you… right? You shoved aside your doubts, you just wanted to feel her. Enjoy the moment for as long as it would last. You cupped Wanda’s face with your hands and pulled her into another kiss, this time a more intimate one. Wanda’s soft lips clashed with yours as you warmed up inside. Wanda put one hand in your neck and another around your waist, pulling you closer. This was all she ever wanted, it felt so right. Wanda opened her mouth for you and you slipped your tong into her mouth, your tongs slowly moving around each other in perfect harmony.

You gently pulled back, slightly out of breath.

“Wow, I thought you didn’t like me?” You quietly said, not wanting the others to overhear you.

“I never didn’t like you. I just wasn’t ready to admit it to myself, but I am now. I love you and I never want to lose you. I was a fool to deny it. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.” And she looked down to the floor.

A tear strolled down her check and you gently wiped it away with your thumb, your hand resting on her cheek.

“Wanda, honey. There’s nothing to forgive.”

Her eyes went up to search yours and you pulled Wanda into a soft kiss, reassuring her that there was nothing to worry about. You had never stopped loving her.

And you couldn’t imagine that you would ever.

Songs: Photograph - Ed Sheeran

Secret Love Song - Little mix

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Caring is the Greatest Advantage (Mycroft Holmes x Reader) Part 4

A/N- Hoping this one has come out a bit happier than the last instalment! I’m trying my best to not write Mycroft too out of character and focusing on how much more emotion he had displayed in season 4.. I have a few more chapters planned out so far and I am hoping to, at the very least, update weekly! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and, please, don’t forget to leave a comment letting me know what you think! Kind words or constructive criticism are always welcomed and inspire me to write more! Thank you!

Word Count: 4416

"Did you fancy doing anything else today? Well, this evening I suppose suits better." You asked Mycroft, clearing up the plates from dinner. Dinner here being a term used loosely- after the emotional turmoil only a few hours ago at the revelation of both yesterday's events and your inner attractions, neither of you particularly felt like cooking, or eating for that matter, and settled on a sandwich just to provide some energy.

The energy of the room had felt different now, now that everything was in the open, now that the pair of you had finally broken that barrier to move further in your relationship. It was nice, calming. The pair of you weren't children, the confirmation of shared attraction didn't mean you immediately jumped each other, or feel the need to be constantly touching in some aspect or another- but the mere idea of knowing that the attraction between you was mutual, and that you wanted to act upon that was more than enough for now. It felt incredible.

"Mmm, what did you have in mind?" He hummed back, standing from the small table in the kitchen to help you with the washing up- not that you weren't fully capable of doing so yourself, it just felt nice acting a little domestic- electing to wash the dishes himself and leaving you to dry them and put them back in the cupboard. You shrugged, closing the cupboard's door and leaning against the counter.

"St James' is just round the corner isn't it? We could go for a walk? The weather is oddly nice for September." You suggested, grinning as you watched Mycroft look down at his current attire of jogging bottoms and a band t-shirt. You didn't need the power of a Holmes to know what that face meant. "Compromise. You don't have to wear the joggers in public, but you also cannot wear a suit, I swore against it."

"If you're suggesting for me to leave my home in my undergarments you've completely lost your mind." You looked at Mycroft and allowed his brain to think a little more. "Oh bugger you can't mean-"

"You and I both know you have a pair of jeans in your wardrobe Myc. Joggers or Jeans, the choice is yours." Mycroft opened and closed his mouth multiple times before rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath that sounded Latin. "Oi at least have the decency to do it in French so I have a chance of understanding what you say when you swear at me." You quipped, jokingly throwing two fingers up at him as he gave in and sulked up the stairs.

"Tu seras la mort de moi." His voice was still quiet, but loud enough for you to understand him.

"Et pourtant tu serais perdu sans moi." You shouted back, teasing a little. Mycroft didn't answer but smiled to himself as he walked into his bedroom, agreeing with you completely but too high in his pride to admit it. Downstairs, you rummaged through the other bags from Anthea, feeling thankful as you saw that she had equally bought you some hoodies too, pulling on a maroon one before grabbing and sliding on your boots. A few minutes later you heard Mycroft's voice from upstairs, muffled completely excluding the 'goodbye' that sounded as he left the bedroom and made his way down the stairs. "Planning my arrest were you? Should I be expected to enter the park to MI6 agents dragging me into a car and shipping me off somewhere for forcing the British government into denim?" You turned around and saw him in his change of attire, whistling approvingly at the sight of him in the dark grey pair of jeans you had bought him a few years ago- 'because you cannot walk into a pub wearing anything purchased on Savile Row, Mycroft'- and the navy blue blazer he had chosen to match with them; the small evidence of The Who's logo peeking out slightly between the lapels. It was seldom Mycroft wore such casual clothing, but feeling welcomed by your reaction certainly made him more comfortable. Maybe at some point you'd tell him it's because those jeans make his bum look incredible. Mycroft's cheeks flushed and he shook his head, ignoring the noise of encouragement you had made.

"MI5, actually, but do not be too alarmed- I've insisted they only use force if absolutely necessary." He teased, hoisting his scarf from the coat rack by the front door and expertly wrapping it around his neck. You jabbed him lightly in the arm, knowing he was joking but equally wanting to make sure the phone call wasn't from Sherlock already pestering him about something or another. "It's fine, truly. Nothing to cause government upset.. only public." You went to question what he meant but was instead caught off guard by him eyeing you up. "Are you really going out.. in that?" Mycroft gestured to your clothing and for a brief moment you felt a little insecure, frowning slightly at him. He caught on immediately and apologised. "No- I mean.. You will likely get cold, will you not? A hooded sweatshirt isn't the warmest item of clothing I can offer you." You grinned at his concern and just passed him his beloved umbrella (it wasn't raining, but that didn't make a difference) before opening the front door.

"Myc I have pulled bodies out of the River Thames wearing nothing more than a pencil skirt and a blouse, I will be fine." You grabbed his hand and tugged him outside, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to argue back but he knew any attempt would be futile- you both knew that you could be more stubborn than Mycroft and so he didn't wish to cause harm on what could be a splendid evening. You took your normal position beside Mycroft, your hand resting in the crook of his elbow, while his rested in his pocket, the other holding onto his umbrella handle. The chill of London's air brushed the back of your neck, leading you to pull the hood of your jumper over your head before continuing your walk, not allowing Mycroft to have the pleasure of knowing he was right. but also not missing the smirk that tugged at his lips as he noticed- of course he bloody did.

The short walk to the park was in a comfortable silence. Mycroft found himself thinking over today's events, how even he couldn't have predicted that this would be how it would end. He was certain you would have left earlier, he'd even prepared himself for the chances of a punch to his nose in anger, and so never in his right mind did he expect you to stay, let alone embrace him while he cried, forgive him for the unforgivable, to... kiss him. He felt childish thinking back on it, but he kept replaying that moment over in his mind. It wasn't a proper kiss, it was barely there at all, and yet, if Mycroft thought hard enough he could still feel the light pressure of your lips on his, and it left him eager for more.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Your voice distracted him as you walked down the final street before the park. He blinked, looking down at you, at your joint arms and offering a smile.

"Just that I didn't expect today to happen the way that events turned out." You opened your mouth to make a comment about how Mycroft knew everything but he cut you off. "I deduce, I cannot predict the future, Y/N."

"But you can mind read?" He raised his other hand, one finger to his mouth in a 'shhh' motion and you grinned.

"Penny for yours?" You hummed in response as you looked at yourself in the reflection of a car window and pouted, rounding the corner to walk through the park's gates.

"I look like an egg." Mycroft let out a rare laugh, caught off guard by your answer. "That you do, my dear. But a rather beautiful egg." It was your turn to flush now. Getting any form of compliment from Mycroft Holmes was a rarity, and when they did come to surface they were usually on one's intellectual skills, or the times where you'd go out to a fancy restaurant and he would claim 'your dress' was beautiful, but never you directly. Your lack of response made Mycroft nervous and he spoke again. "Apologies, upon reflection that was a very backhanded compliment." You squeezed his arm and nudged yourself in closer, welcoming in the warmth his body was emitting.

"No no, I am incredibly flattered to be deemed a beautiful egg." You laughed. "It would make a lovely epitaph don't you thi-." He tensed. "Yeah, sorry, bit soon." You continued your walk for a little further before something clicked in your mind and you stopped in your tracks. Mycroft stumbled a little at the sudden cease in movement and shot you a confused glare. "Myc.. There's nobody else here."

"Excellent observation, Y/N. I now understand why you're so well respected down the Yard."

"Git. I meant.. we're in one of the most tourist centred parts of London, in the early evening, and there's nobody here." Mycroft raised his nose a little in the air, a movement witnessed by anybody else that would be mistaken for smugness, or being pretentious. But on Mycroft you knew it meant he felt a little embarrassed, raising his head ever so higher so you couldn't see the dusting of red on his cheeks. "The phone call... Mycroft bloody Holmes did you abuse your power as a government official to rent out the entirety of St James' park so that nobody would have to see you in your jeans?" He avoided your gaze and you began to laugh, removing your hand from his arm as you wiped a tear that spilled down your cheek out of amusement before tugging him over to a bench that was a few feet away.

"Should I not have?" His tone was light, relaxed knowing that you weren't mad with him and that you found the situation entertaining.

"It's not that.. It's just that nobody else WOULD." You rubbed your numbing fingers together and tucked them inside the sleeve of your hoodie. "You. Are an extraordinary man, Mr Holmes. You never cease to amaze me." He smiled softly, tentatively reaching over to take your half sleeve covered hand into his own pale one.

"And you, are freezing." He commented. You dismissed his assessment and instead focused on the view in front of you, the slight appearance of the London Eye poking above some trees from across the Thames.

"After living here for so long, sometimes I forget how beautiful London truly is." You spoke, shuffling the rest of your hand from your sleeve to lace your fingers between his. He hummed in agreement as he watched on. "And you stole this view from thousands of visitors this evening for the sake of your own dignity and so we could be alone. What do you have? People guarding every entrance? A few loitering around somewhere to make sure there were no stragglers? Christ are they armed? It just so.. so.." Mycroft felt himself become uncomfortable.

"I can be a very selfish person Y/N, you know that."

"I was going to say sexy but now I feel as though I'm not being as sympathetic to the tourists as you were expecting me to be." Mycroft tensed again and you leant to rest your head on his shoulder. "You should probably try to get used to that. I've been waiting a fairly long time to actively be allowed to say things like that to you and it not sound really weird, so I'm making up for lost time."

"How long?" His voice was quiet, likely his mind recovering from you, for the second time that day, calling him such a thing. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he was extremely flattered, but he just found it very hard to believe that you truly thought that way about him; that anyone could. You thought for a moment, childishly using your fingers to count.

"How long since I realised I had a thing for you? As of today it's been 5 years, 3 months and 17 days.. or, in less creepy terms to not make it seem like I've been counting, 2 weeks before I broke up with Thomas. It didn't feel fair to keep dragging him along, especially when I started to look forward to meeting you for dinner much more than I did meeting him for our weekly date night. He's a lovely guy and deserved more than that. I tried for those couple of weeks to get over it but I couldn't." Mycroft stayed silent but you could practically hear his brain whirring. "How long did I wish that you somehow felt the same way about me? Probably 5 minutes after the last thought." You laughed, feeling ridiculous for sounding like a school girl with a crush. "What about you? Pining after me for long or just spontaneously after I kissed you?" You joked, trying to make the whole ordeal feel a little less embarrassing. Mycroft shifted in his seat, laying his focus in the warmth that he could feel spreading to your hand that he held in his. He wasn't the type for large exclamations of emotion, or really speaking about the way he feels at all. But, upon hearing your revelation, he bit the bullet and spoke.

"I have never been the kind of man to experience typical human emotion. Until yourself and Gregory came along, I hadn't even the experience of having acquaintances, let alone.. friends." His eyes stayed forward, watching as the London Eye rotated slowly and focusing on its movements. "Approximately 6 months prior to the time you have mentioned, I began to realise that the way I felt towards you was far different to the way I felt about Gregory, and not the same way I feel towards Sherlock. I pressed the thought into the back of my mind for the better part of a year, before Sherlock told me that you were 'obviously' experiencing some kind of affection towards me, which I told him was preposterous, but from then the thought of you in that aspect felt welcoming. I had never expected in my life to have those kinds of emotions for anybody, let alone have them reciprocated, but I still chose to ignore them. I chose to keep you as my friend rather than risk losing you at all.. Then Eurus happened. Seeing you on that.. screen. Knowing what they could do.. Knowing I could lose you anyway.. it flicked something inside of my brain that made me regret not talking to you about it sooner. I was trying to work out the right way to bring it up, but then you did it for me." The side of his mouth flicked up into a small smile and disappeared, the embarrassment of talking so much on emotion taking over.

"You still look cute when you're embarrassed." You commented, not wanting to elaborate on his wordings more. It meant everything to you that he had even said that much, so you weren't going to push him further out of his comfort zone by pestering on. "Though as much as I'd love to look at your little flustered cheeks in this moonlight, I have to admit that you were right and I am bloody freezing, can we go back?" You took your hand back from his briefly to rub against your other one, a feeble attempt to bring warmth back into your fingertips. Though warmth soon enveloped round your neck as you felt Mycroft begin to wrap his cashmere scarf around you, folding and wrapping it expertly until you felt comfortably warm, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of his cologne that loitered in the fabric.

"I'm always right." He grinned smugly, standing from the bench and offering his elbow out to you once more. You nudged it away, missing the disappointed look on Mycroft's face, before instead grabbing his hand, lacing your fingers between his and tucking them into his pocket for warmth, your other arm folding over your body to hold his arm.

"I'll prove you wrong on that at some point, mark my words." You beamed, starting the walk back to Queen Anne's Gate and relishing in the warmth of the taller man beside you. Mycroft couldn't hide the small smile that appeared on his face from your action, choosing himself to push closer and close the gap between you even more. He swiftly pulled his phone from his pocket, leaving his umbrella dangling from his wrist, as he made a quick call to Anthea.

"I suppose we better let the tourists have their park back.. at least for now." He spoke, more to you than to Anthea but nonetheless she relayed the message to security who began to pack up and reopen the gates to the public. It had barely been a minute before they had all left, all except the PA in question who watched on fondly upon seeing the pair of you leaving, fighting the urge to text the man that it was about damn time.

***

The walk back was incredibly quick and you soon found yourselves walking back through the front door, discarding layers of warmer clothing, Mycroft opting to put the sweats back on in place of his jeans.

"I'm thinking we have a cuppa and then head to bed? I'm knackered." You proposed, flicking the kettle on and settling back to rest on the edge of the kitchen counter. Mycroft hummed in agreement, reaching to grab the necessities. You quickly kicked off from the counter and wandered back into the front room, pulling Mycroft in tow. "Seems as good a time as any to have some music on, Greg made me this mixtape a few weeks ago. He said it's some classics I already love, and a bunch that I'm going to, so it sounds pretty promising." From behind you Mycroft opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "If you're about to chastise me for calling a CD a mixtape, don't waste your breath. Mix-CD just sounds horrendous." He stayed silent, inwardly amused at the fact you hadn't even seen his face and yet knew exactly what he was going to say, and you called him the 'mind-reader'. The Kinks began to play quietly through the speakers, 'Have a Cuppa Tea' fittingly being the first song to play on shuffle. Usually you despised any type of mixtape, or 'best of' albums, claiming rather strongly that they defeated the point of artists bringing out the original albums, ruining the story behind each one. But when it came to Greg you trusted him completely with music taste and had never been disappointed thus far. The click of the kettle in the kitchen sounded, making you walk into the other room and prepare your drinks- you hadn't bothered asking Mycroft the way he had it, you had that burnt to memory years ago. Perching back onto the sofa besides Mycroft, you handed him the beverage and sighed in content.

"You missed the Sex Pistols. Forgive me if I cannot hear you for the next 20 minutes, I have a feeling that my ears have bled." He teased, taking a sip of his tea and settling it on the table beside him. Before you had a chance to answer, another Kinks song began to sound in the room, the slower rythm of Waterloo Sunset.

"You're going to pay for saying those things, you know I love the Sex Pistols." You pouted, moving your own tea to the coffee table. "I think, Mr Holmes, you need to dance with me in ways of apology." You grinned, standing up and holding your hand out to him. "It's a rare slower song from Lestrade's musical repertoire so I'm not expecting you to start headbanging or anything.."

"Do people slow dance to Rock music normally?" He asked, smiling.

"No they don't.. but when have you ever been a man who follows the rules of normality?" He took your hand at that, standing himself up and leading you to an emptier part of the room, tea forgotten. You softly placed your hands on his shoulders and rested your head on his chest, his reaching round to settle on the small of your back as you began to sway together slowly, the only sound that could be heard was the music and Mycroft's erratic heartbeat that he was sure meant he was going to have a heart attack. "See, this is nice." He hummed in agreement, the vibrations of his deep voice reaching his chest and vibrating against your cheek. "We could have done this years ago.." You commented, thinking on all the lost time you had with Mycroft, all of the years you had listened to music together and could have danced, holding each other as close as you were now.

"We'd have struggled being as Gregory only gave you this CD a few weeks ago.." You laughed and swatted his shoulder.

"You know what I mean.. oh the power of cowardice and fear." You closed your eyes, holding onto this moment as though you had never wanted it to end. Alas, the song began to come to a close, and yet neither of you made an attempt to move. The instrumental introduction to your favourite Clash song began to play and you grinned. "Now this is a song. I'm surprised Greg put it on here, I'd have thought he'd be sick of it by now with the amount of times I play it at work." As the vocals began you felt Mycroft stiffen in your arms, the fingers on the hands on your back began to dig into your skin slightly, not painful, but protective and his heartbeat picked up pace even more.

"Could we skip this one? Please?" His tone of voice was different this time, not the calm, relaxed voice that he had earlier, nor the playful one he had only moments ago. He sounded.. unsettled.

"You're joking right? Mycroft this relationship will have a rocky start if you force me to turn of The Clash at all, let alone bloody 'Death or Glory.'" He tensed again hearing the song's title.

"Please.. it's the one.." Your brain began to piece together his words and you lifted your head from its position on his chest, looking up and seeing the pained expression on his face. Of course, out of every song in the world, this was the one you were listening to when Mycroft said he saw you on the screen, inches away from death. You closed your eyes and sighed.

"I'm not letting this happen. I'm okay, I'm here, alive. This is my happy song, and I have so many wonderful memories from it." It wasn't a lie. The sound held memories of countless car rides with Greg, it was the song that played when you had the phone call about your promotion at work. It had even been playing when your sister phoned up to let you know that she was pregnant with your niece. Both times. It was a bloody good song. "I understand why you don't like it, but you just need to associate it with something better, give it a new memory." You moved your arms from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, shifting one hand to place onto his cheek as you reached yourself up on your tiptoes to become closer to his height.

You caught his focus, making his eyes land on your own rather than being dazed as his mind went back to you dancing on that screen. You leaned yourself in closer, just enough for your lips to ghost over his own, before closing the gap. Unlike the last peck you had given him, this was a far more passionate kiss, giving him the emotion you had kept pent up for the last five years. His grip on your back softened, one hand reaching to your upper back to push you closer to him, his lips moving against yours beautifully. His body began to relax, the tension in his shoulders disappeared as he leant himself forward, easing you back flat on your feet. Had you have not known any better, you would have never guessed that Mycroft had never kissed somebody before; he was just a bloody quick learner. You ran your tongue along his bottom lip softly, grinning as he let out a quiet moan. The need for air soon took over and you allowed yourself to separate, not moving any further than leaving your foreheads touching. "There. Now when we hear it, that's what you need to think of instead. Christ knows I will be." You laughed, your hands guiding themselves from his neck slowly down his chest and pushing him back slightly. "I'm going to go shower, so meet me upstairs? I know I promised more Hardy but I would really like to go to sleep if it's all the same to you." Mycroft only nodded, feeling you peck his lips once more before disappearing out of the room. The song had finished by now, having been replaced by who Mycroft believed were The Rolling Stones, but he wasn't really listening.

He stood still in his spot, mind replaying over the moment as he smiled fondly to himself. He could hear the shower running upstairs along with your voice, muffled but clear enough to understand that you were still singing along to the last song. Placing his fingers against his lips, Mycroft tried to imitate the pressure you had placed on them moments ago, thinking about how your lips felt against his, properly this time, not just the two second thing on the sofa this morning. His chest felt warm, stomach flipping and in a rare moment Mycroft felt genuinely happy. In all his life up to this moment, caring had never been an advantage, had always led to him getting hurt. But maybe, just maybe, you were right about how you were going to prove him wrong one day. And he hoped to whatever sentient being that may or not be watching over him that you were going to prove him wrong about that.

[vlindervin7]

I love ure fics, i was thinking maybe a kieu my/fatou one where they're in fatous bed and the cash queens come over, and then idk how it'd go it depends if it's pre/post fatou telling them about kieu my but basically just cute awkwardness from them and not knowing what to do/say and the cash queens realising kieu my isn't the ''ice queen'' they thought she was 🥰🥰

Can u make a fic about Kieu my and Fatou cuddling on their bed and kissing, pure fluff ✨from Kieu my’s pov

Here to say that I loved your kieutou works! Thanks for sharing them with us! Could you write something about the girls still being unsure about the relationship because they don’t know kieu my well and them witnessing how fatou and kieu my are together? It could be after everything is solved between the cashqueens and kieu my (she has apologized to ava for the past) but the girls aren’t still 100% sure of her feelings for fatou and get to see how soft kieu my is for her.

Read on ao3

Fatou is looking at her and the weird thing, the slightly uncomfortable thing, is that Kieu My wants her to keep looking. Her gaze is hot on her, scalding, and it almost burns uncomfortably, but it’s just on the right side of too much, like a hot shower after a winter day. Usually when people look at Kieu My she has the impression of standing on a podium, under bright spotlights, focused on the play she’s putting on. Fatou’s gaze is like a breeze that catches her off guard and caresses her face, makes her shiver, but feel held, too. It’s like she said that one time: Fatou sees right through her. She’s not party Kieu My to her, not popular Kieu My, not the picture perfect pretty princess she pretends to be. She’s just Kieu My, in her purest form. And Fatou loves her for it. She doesn’t even have to try.

She doesn’t have to try.

She doesn’t have the words to describe how incredible that feels. Sometimes it feels like nothing comes naturally to her. Every single thing she does, every person she interacts with, is a challenge she needs to overcome, something she needs to adapt too. But with Fatou… With Fatou the only thing she ever had to actively try to do is staying away from her and not fall too deep. She miserably failed at that, clear by the fact that she’s currently in her bed and in so deep she can’t remember what the outside of it looks like. Effortless.

She’s snapped out of her contemplation when Fatou shifts on her side slightly and reaches out to stroke her cheek softly like summer.

‘What are you thinking about?’, she asks.

Kieu My hesitates for one second, before recalling her freshly made realisation that around Fatou it takes more effort to hold back than to let her in, so she answers truthfully. ‘How easy this is.’

‘This?’ Fatou’s still absentmindedly moving her thumb against Kieu My’s cheek.

Kieu My gestures between the empty space separating their two warm bodies on the bed. ‘This.’

A smile grows on Fatou’s face. ‘Us?’

Kieu My nods once, and moves closer to Fatou on the bed, until her forehead rests against Fatou’s chest and her arm is around her. She can’t remember ever feeling this safe to just let go.

She stays there for a moment, simply breathing. With every passing second she feels her thoughts slow down more and more, until what’s left is a background buzz she can easily ignore for the feeling of Fatou all around her.

After a while, she lifts her head from her chest and looks up at her. Fatou squeezes her tight, before letting go. Kieu My moves upwards until they can look each other in the eye. And now she’s smiling again.

She can’t help but laugh at how happy she is. She feels so calm and somehow it doesn’t really scare her anymore.

Fatou looks at her with a semi questioning look, but most of it is fond like she gets it, so Kieu My simply shakes her head and kisses her. It soon turns a bit more intense than originally planned, but she doesn’t mind and, by the look of things, neither does Fatou.

She’s just starting to really get lost in the feeling of Fatou’s lips on her when a sudden knock on the door shocks her right out of it.

***

When she knocks on the door and then passes her head through the crack in the doorway when there’s no answers, Ava is met with the sight of Fatou and Kieu My quickly sitting up as if suddenly caught doing something private. Ava figures they were in a way, judging by the state of their hair and the sheets, the embarrassed looks they’re sending each other. Especially Kieu My, usually exuding such strong confidence, is looking anywhere but at Ava, possibly in an attempt to hide how flushed she is.

‘Can we come in?’, Ava finally asks, referring to Nora and Mailin standing behind her in the hallway.

Fatou checks her phone and, upon seeing the time, grimaces. ‘Sorry’, she mumbles sheepfully. ‘We lost track of time.’ She looks at Kieu My when she says it, and she seems to relax the slightest bit seeing Fatou’s expression.

‘It’s fine, chibi’, Ava answers. And it is. She knows Fatou doesn’t mean it and wouldn’t deliberately forget about their meeting. Who can blame her really? She’s so in love Ava can feel it radiating off of her.

‘We get it’, Nora says, with a teasing smile, making her way into the room and settling on one of the poofs. Taking on an old lady voice, she continues, ‘I remember being young and in love.’

Fatou lifts her hand to half-heartedly hide behind, says ‘shut up’ and drops it. ‘We lost track of time.’

‘We’d gathered, yeah’, Mailin answers from where she’s now sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Ava, now being the only one still left standing, makes her way to Fatou’s desk and sits down on the chair. She considers the bed for a second, but with Fatou and Kieu My on it, it suddenly feels like it should be just heirs, a small space carved out for them in the midst of the room, their own private island.

She notices Kieu My still hasn’t said anything since the girls walked in and has avoided eye contact beyond the small smile of greeting, but she also notices Fatou’s hand moving closer to Kieu My’s on the bed and Kieu My’s shoulders relaxing when she finds it, like Fatou’s touch is the anchor she needed to pull herself above water.

‘So are we still up for lunch?’Ava asks finally, pointedly glancing at what Fatou’s wearing, obviously still the clothes she slept in, but then she makes sure to catch her eye and smile to make sure she understands that she’s not upset.

She doesn’t think any of the girls mind waiting a bit longer. They’d been so wrapped up in their own worlds lately that they’d failed to take note of how the perpetually bright light in Fatou’s spirit had dimmed over the past few weeks. It’s especially obvious seeing her now, with that sparkle in her eyes and smile that would take more effort to try to suppress than to constantly wear. Her little quips come quicker and more often like when they first became friends, and she’s always been the warmest person Ava’s ever met, but now she seems to point that warmth at herself, too, instead of giving it all away and leaving herself shivering.

Of course!’, she Fatou reassures quickly and loudly, ‘I just uh. Need to get dressed and all that.’

She looks at Kieu My then, just a raise of her eyebrows in question, and Kieu My answers with something between a shrug, grimace and smile. Ava doesn’t speak fluent Kieu My the way Fatou clearly does, but she thinks she can safely say she’s uncomfortable. Ava hadn’t really paid it any mind before, but she suddenly realises she’s never seen Kieu My not dressed up before, bare-faced and bleary-eyed, wearing one of Fatou’s old t-shirts. She looks surprisingly vulnerable, holding herself differently like she’s shed off all her armour. It makes sense, Ava thinks, for her to surrender in the safe presence of Fatou, but she probably wasn’t prepared to forget all defences when it comes to Ava, Mailin and Nora. It almost makes Ava want to look away.

‘The reservation’s at twelve, so we have a little time left’, Nora comments after checking her phone, and Fatou looks away from Kieu My upon hearing her voice.

She hesitates a moment before saying, ‘I’ll be quick’, and making to get out of bed, but Ava stops her. She knows why she hesitated, and while, since Kieu My apologised to Ava and they smoothed everything out, Ava’s completely fine with the idea of her being Fatou’s girlfriend, she admits that she’s still not entirely comfortable around her. She’s never spent much time with her after all, but Fatou’s possibly the person she loves most in this world. She should get to know her girlfriend.

‘Are you coming with, Kieu My?’, she asks then. She’ll start as soon as possible.

‘That would be cool!’, Mailin adds, and Nora is enthusiastically nodding from her place on the pouf. After smiling at Ava gratefully, Fatou turns to Kieu My with her puppy eyes fully turned on, and even before Kieu My gives in Ava already knows she won’t stand a chance.

‘Yeah, sure. Thanks’, Kieu My says, looking at Ava in particular. Ava recognises part of the same sentiment she just felt reflected in Kieu My’s eyes. Maybe they haven’t found much they have in common yet, but they can start building a bond stemming from their shared love for Fatou.

She gets up from the bed, clearly wanting to get dressed as soon as possible. When she does, Fatou falls on her back and stretches out her arms with an angelic smile on her face. ‘Help me up?’

Kieu My fondly rolls her eyes before obliging and pulling her all the way up and out of bed. Fatou drops a kiss on her lips when she’s finally out of bed, and Kieu My flushes but she lets it happen.

‘We’ll be back’, Fatou exclaims, grabbing Kieu My’s hand and pulling her out of the room.

After the door closes behind them, the girls catch each other’s eyes and burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of their friend. Ava ‘s so happy to be back on good terms with them. The few weeks they were fighting was so hard for her, even though she maybe didn’t show it. She truly loves them a lot and to feel so completely misunderstood and taken for granted by the people who are supposed to have her back always is not an experience she’d care to repeat. They all need to do a little better.

It doesn’t take Fatou and Kieu My much time to get back to them, the waiting filled with chatter and laughter. Ava doesn’t mean to listen in on their conversation, but she’s sitting the closest to the door, and as much as tries to block it out, she can’t help but overhear Fatou ask, ‘You feeling okay now?’, standing in front of the door to her room, clearly waiting to make sure Kieu My is comfortable before rejoining the others.

It’s quiet for a moment in which Ava imagines Kieu My is nodding or something similar. Then, in a quiet voice she answers, ‘Yeah. Just felt like I was violently being woken from some perfect dream. I wasn’t prepared.’ She says the last part accompanied by a laugh as if trying to brush it off, but knowing Fatou, she’ll take it seriously.

It’s silent again, for a slightly longer time. Ava tries not to actively imagine what’s happening to give them privacy, but she has an idea anyway. Her brain doesn’t have the same moral compass as she herself does. After a few minutes, Fatou breaks the silence and whatever else that’s going on, ‘Ready now?’

When Kieu My laughs this time, it sounds much more genuine. ‘Ready. Love you.’

‘Love you, too.’

When they enter the room, Ava pretends to shake herself out of something she was reading on her phone. She doesn’t know if she’s convincing, she’s never been much of an actress after all, her emotions right there for everyone to see, but she thinks the girls are too wrapped up in each other to notice, either way.

‘Let’s go?’, she asks enthusiastically, getting up from her chair.

‘Let’s go!’, Fatou cheers, pulling the others into her infectious excitement, holding Kieu My’s hand and smiling blindingly at Ava.

Yeah, inviting Kieu My was definitely a good idea, Ava decides. There’s not many things better than seeing her chibi so completely happy.

[preciouspeterbparker]

the warmest bed i’ve ever known

finally got this bitch finished! 

based on “tis the damn season” by taylor swift. i was also listening to the phoebe bridgers cover of “christmas song”, “last christmas” cover by pale waves (recorded @ spotify), and “home alone, too” by the staves 

also this is only my 2nd time writing starker so lmk what you think plz?

happy holidays! - bloo

word count: 6.07k. this was intended to basically be a porny blurb...instead there’s so much fucking plot it’s probably overwhelming and minimal porn. i’m sorry

warnings: angst, depression & anxiety, drug use (that good kush ft some hotboxing & shotgunning), smut, character death (not tony or peter), tony’s kind of country lmao. despite all the aforementioned things, there is in fact a happy ending! 

summary: peter makes the trip back home for christmas and once again finds himself caught up in deep brown eyes and a charming smile. tis the damn season. 

Peter had forgotten how cold New York winters were. He’d grown used to the year-long warmth of Los Angeles. He supposed the cold was appropriate- it was as if the weather was in cahoots with the solid, frigid thing that was sitting in the pit of his stomach. The last time he’d spent Christmas in Aurora, the last time he’d seen him… Tony.

Just thinking the other man’s name made Peter flex his hands anxiously as he slid out of the driver’s seat of his black Mercedes AMG GT into the amber glow of the streetlight, gently shutting the door closed behind him, still in the overly cautious period of owning the new car. He wondered what Tony would think of it. Last time Peter had come home, he was still driving May’s old Subaru. It’d been almost 2 years to the day, now, which felt like both a century and no time at all. He wished it wasn’t so hard. He wished they hadn’t been caught in this song & dance for so long. It seemed like no matter how good Peter’s intentions, it always came down to one thing: he was so damn scared. He always ran away, no matter how badly he wanted to stay. 

Scuffing a boot through the slush in the street, the brunette straightened his shoulders and made his way toward the brick building, a quick smile quirking half his mouth up as he read the neon red sign above the closed garage door. Stark’s. Memories came flooding back, the countless nights he spent cooped up in the little shop during high school, sketching elaborate ensembles and daydreaming about having his very first collection while surrounded by the smell of motor oil and the sounds of tinkering. The bell above the door jingled merrily as Peter stepped through and wiped his feet on the mat. The pleasant sound of Frank Sinatra crooning the words of “The Christmas Waltz” met his ears. Another small smile flitted over Peter’s face. That was something that tended to happen when he was around Tony. 

“Just a second,” came the slightly muffled voice, a little strained. The man in question was bent over, headfirst in the engine of his old 1979 Chevy C10, the one he’d gotten senior year of highschool. The collar of a heather grey henley peeked out from under a deep red and green plaid flannel stretched over his shoulders as he leaned a little further under the hood, using a wrench to tighten what looked to be a lugnut to Peter from his spot by the door, too nervous to go further inside. 

“I can wait,” Peter replied softly, trying not to stare at Tony’s jean-clad ass and anxious of the older boy man’s reaction. (It looked like Tony had done a lot of growing up over the past two years, no longer the boy he remembered. Peter supposed the same could be said about himself in a way, though he wasn’t sure if it was for better or worse.)

And apparently he was right to be cautious.

Tony promptly smacked his head on the underside of the hood as he jerked upright at the sound of Peter’s voice. “Fuck.”  Moving more carefully, Tony stood upright and turned around, his dark eyes wide. “Peter,” he said, visibly and audibly surprised. To be honest, it hurt Peter a little bit, how surprised he sounded. Maybe coming here was a mistake. Did they not do this nearly every year over the past seven? Had- Oh god, had something changed? Fuck, did Tony finally get tired of-  Had he found-

Peter resolutely cut that train of thought off before he could panic. “Hi, Tony.” He swallowed drily, making eye contact for a moment, before casting his eyes away only for them to make their way back to the open face in front of him. “Think you have time for a quick bite to eat?” He slipped his left hand into the pocket of the new, warm wool coat he bought expressly for this trip. “It’s almost dinner time. And I have a treat,” he intoned, tapping his right pointer and middle fingers against his lips.

Tony beamed and immediately reached for a shop rag to wipe his hands, the black grease and oil smearing on the probably-used-to-be-white-at-some-point fabric. One of those hands came up to scratch at his facial hair, a new addition that made something simmer deep in Peter’s gut. The older man's brown eyes twinkled as he paused to glance at Peter. “You had me at ‘hi, Tony.’” He then proceeded to move about the shop, swiping his phone from atop a chest of metal drawers, Sinatra’s voice coming to an abrupt stop. He pulled on his old lined jean jacket (the one Peter was constantly mending in high school; now it just had small tears in some places, and what appeared to be Tony’s d-i-y patchwork in others). The sign on the front door was flipped to ‘closed’ and Tony pulled a keyring from his belt loop, locking it and flicking off the lights. The streetlights outside the building and the colorful holiday lights strung along the edge of the roof provided just enough light for them to be able to clearly see each other, the sun having set early, around four o’clock. Peter had forgotten about that as well. 

He moved to grab his car keys from a pocket but Tony spoke up, patting the dark green paint of his truck’s hood and walking over to the garage door. His hand hovered over the button that would open it. “Actually, I just finished giving Delilah a tuneup, mind if we take ‘er for a spin?” 

“Sure,” Peter agreed without hesitation, still feeling relieved (and grateful) that his invitation was accepted. 

Tony pushed his palm against the button and paused to do a double-take after the metal door lifted completely. His eyebrows rose at the sight of Peter’s car parked in the small lot beside the shop. “Damn, L.A.. Not worried about your fancy new car?” His tone was slightly teasing, but there was a bit of shock mixed with something else as well, and it caused Peter to go hot, feeling insecure. (What if Tony didn’t like who Peter was, now? Peter didn’t exactly like who he was now.) Tony must’ve noticed his discomfort, because he cracked a grin and bumped his shoulder against Peter’s as he made his way to the driver’s side, yanking the door open. “C’mon, Parker, ‘m just fuckin’ with you. Hop in - how’da some burgers from Delmar’s an’ a trip out to the field sound?” 

***

They grabbed food from the hole-in-the-wall diner down the road (the one where sixteen year-old Peter burned the shit out of his hand on his first day and promptly quit) and once they were bundled back in the truck with their burgers, fries and one banana milkshake (“yeah, but these are your favorite,” Tony had said in response to Peter’s exclamation that it was too cold out), Tony drove them out to the field behind the old high school. He parked the car under the lamppost, leaving it running in order to keep the heat on. His thick mechanic’s fingers began to fiddle with the temperature controls. Nat King Cole was playing quietly on the radio. 

Peter shifted the paper bag of food in his lap, searching for words but not knowing what to say, and plucked the joint and lighter from his coat. The paper-covered filter found its way between his lips and he inhaled softly as he lit the tip. Satisfied with the light, he french inhaled, closing his eyes for a moment. The first hit was always the best. Peter loved the way he could feel it all the way in his bones. He didn’t know how to describe it other than deep. When he opened them, he made eye contact with Tony in the dim light, and immediately cut his gaze away as he felt the heat rush to his face. He could feel when Tony looked away a moment later.

The lull continued and Peter gingerly held the joint between his fingertips as he exhaled, hand outstretched.  

Worn fingers plucked it away, and Peter’s eyes were immediately drawn to the slightly chapped lips that wrapped themselves around the filter. “You stayin’ at um, at May's...old place?” Tony faltered as he inhaled, as if he wasn't sure what the most sensitive way to talk about it was. 

“Yeah," Peter said softly as he looked down at his lap. Spending his first night in the house alone last night had made him feel the loneliest he'd ever been in his life, and that was saying something because he’d been feeling pretty miserable lately. Peter saw May everywhere he looked, waiting to hear her call for him to come taste some new-fangled recipe from the kitchen, or to please, for the hundredth time, rinse the dishes before he put them in the sink. He missed her more than he thought possible, her death earth-shattering after having already lost Ben when he was 17, back when this mess all started. When he left for the first time. When he started running away. “It’s- It’s weird but I’m...adjusting. It’s honestly not that different to when she was alive, though. Y’know- recently.” He cut himself off, not sure if he wanted Tony to know the full reality of his existence, now. 

Because it was true. It killed Peter to admit it, but his relationship with Aunt May started going downhill around the time of Ben’s death, too. By the time she had her heart attack a little more than two years ago, he hadn’t seen her in over a year, or talked to her in nearly as long. It was the biggest regret of his life, pushing May away; the second was the way he essentially did the same thing to Tony, however drawn-out it had been. 

Peter reached out for the joint and his fingers brushed against Tony’s, sending a jolt up his spine. “How,” Peter started, swallowing as he twiddled the lighter between his fingers not holding the joint. “How’ve you been, Tony?” He was scared to ask what he really wanted to know. Have you finally had enough? Did you stop waiting on me? Am I too late? To distract himself a bit, he cracked the window so he could ash the joint before taking another drag. 

"Same ol’, same ol’,” came Tony’s reply, his voice weary. “I mean, you already know this, but nothin’ really changes here." The quiet way he said it was slightly self-deprecating and the younger man hated it, hated that he had something to do with it. (Peter remembered the way he spat the words at Tony in the wee hours of the morning oh so long ago. "I've gotta get out of this fucking town- I can’t stay here, Tony! You might be okay dying here, a nobody with nothing, but I'm not!")

That’s why I had to leave, he thought, chest tightening. I was trapped in this town. It was never you, Tony. You were perfect. You’re perfect. 

"..Yeah," is what came out instead. Peter took another hit before he handed the joint back to Tony and began rifling through the grease-splotched bag, passing the older man his burger before unwrapping his own. He took the top bun off in order to lay down a handful of fries from the bag, smooshing the top back on afterwards. A moan left Peter’s mouth at the first bite, and he heard a chuckle bubble up from Tony’s chest. (He would never admit it, especially not to anyone back in L.A., anyone who didn’t know him before, but this was his favorite meal in the world.)

“Funny that you still do that. So, um,” Tony began again, stuffing a few fries in his mouth and chewing as he spoke out the side of his mouth. “I saw your new collection. It looked nice.” He licked a bit of salt off his thumb. 

Peter’s ears burned as he swallowed his bite and raised an eyebrow at the man across from him. “You pay attention to fashion, now?” He fought off a smile at the thought of Tony delicately flipping through the pages of a high-fashion magazine. 

“Not like- I’ve tried to keep up with your work,” Tony mumbled, swallowing, his own face taking on a bit of a rosy-hue. “Like to know what you're up to all the way out there.” The joint touched his lips for a few seconds before it made its way back to Peter’s fingers. “I do know how Google works.” 

Peter shivered as he felt something flutter in the pit of his stomach at the salt grains that touched his tongue when he took his next pull. “Tastes like salt,” he breathed on the exhale, locking eyes with Tony through the smoke that had accumulated in the car. 

Something flashed in the older man’s eyes as he stole the weed back and took a large hit, crooking his salt-sprinkled fingers to beckon Peter closer. 

Peter’s own reddened eyes widened when he caught on to what Tony wanted, his heart picking up speed. They hadn’t done that in years. Still clutching his burger in his left hand, he used the right to support himself as he leaned over the console to press his mouth against Tony’s. He closed his eyes as he inhaled, fighting the urge to slip his tongue somewhere it didn’t belong. One of Tony’s hands came up to pull his head closer for a moment, his tongue having the same idea as Peter’s, causing him to whine into Tony’s mouth. His pants were getting tight as he licked right back in response, feeling a slight burn from exhaling through his nose. He missed this. Nobody kissed him like Tony did-

“Shit!” Tony pulled away sharply, and Peter’s heart stopped for a second. But when he realized what was happening, he couldn’t contain the surprised cackle that erupted as he saw the joint land in the other man’s lap. “Quit it,” was Tony’s reply, though he was grinning as he said it. He grabbed what was left of the joint off his jeans and stubbed it out the rest of the way on the dashboard. “It burned my fuckin’ finger.”

“Oh poor baby,” Peter shot back, shifting in his seat and taking another bite of his burger. He willed the slight chub to go away, but knew it was a lost cause. He pretty much signed up for it; he was always turned on when he was high around Tony (and most of the time when he was sober, too). Some kind of conditioning or something, he thought deliriously. 

“Ya better hush up, Parker,” Tony snarked and dipped some fries into Peter’s banana shake. He rolled his neck a bit, reaching for his burger. “So, kid. Tell me ‘bout L.A..”

***

Peter was basking peacefully in his high, humming along to whatever was playing through the speakers. He and Tony had both finished their food, chatting about this and that, but nothing of real substance, their earlier stilted conversation far from their minds. Shooting the shit, as Tony called it, over some weed and a meal was their normal routine when they were younger, and it came as naturally as breathing. Peter had never met anyone else he could simply coexist with on this level, simply enjoying the other’s presence for what it was. I love you, he thought as he looked at Tony, who was leaning back in his seat with his eyes closed and nodding his head along with the beat. I’m so in love with you and it scares the shit out of me. 

The younger man’s eyes roved over Tony’s face as his mind raced. What was he doing? Would something be different this time? He wasn’t that angry seventeen year old anymore- now he was twenty-four, clinically depressed, and living someone else’s life. Would it be so bad to finally leave that all behind, to finally let himself have what he’s denied himself for so long? Didn’t he deserve to be happy, after all this pain? And even if it wasn’t in the cards for them, if Peter was destined to be alone, wouldn’t even the most miniscule amount of time with Tony be worth it? 

Tony’s gravelly voice startled him back to the present. “I should probably be gettin’ you home, huh, Peter?” The bearded man opened his eyes and began sitting up, turning to look at him. The expression on his face was unreadable, and Peter didn’t know if he should agree or protest, so he merely lifted a shoulder in faux indifference, shooting Tony a half-smile.

Please, call me Pete… Just Pete, Peter begged in his head. Tony calling him by his full name made the ugly thing in his chest wriggle uncomfortably. Last time he was home, before he said those awful things, Tony hadn’t called him Peter in years. Yet another beautiful thing that he’d taken for granted and ruined for himself. 

“Could also drive around for a bit if you wanted, see some lights.” Damn Tony and his ability to read Peter so well. The suggestion was soft, and he looked down as he said it, almost as if he was feeling shy. 

Peter shook his head minutely and shifted a little in his seat, gently biting his lip. “I’m getting a little tired, haven’t smoked in a while,” he lied through his teeth, but the smile on his face was real this time. 

Tony grinned right back at him.

(“What would we even do on a date? There’s nothing to do here, Tony,” Peter said with a laugh. “I dunno,” Tony replied, snuggling the lighter-haired teenager closer into his chest as they snuggled on the couch. “We could go look at the Christmas lights, get some hot chocolate… I could tie some mistletoe to the mirror in the truck. There’d be sum kissin’ involved….” He trailed off as Peter’s lips found his own. “Or we could do the kissin’ right here,” he murmured, sinking into the kiss.)

***

The drive back to May’s house was spent with Tony catching Peter up on everyone in town as they passed various houses. (“Remember Happy Hogan, the butcher?? Him an’ that pretty florist, Ms. Potts, got married last year. Think they’re havin’ a baby,last I heard.” “Rhodey’s mama died this spring, she got cancer, but he an’ Mr. Rhodes still live out here now that Rhodey’s moved home. Honorable discharge last fall. Done got himself a new girlfriend now too, Carol; he met ‘er in the Air Force.  She’s a sweet one, I think you’d like ‘er.”) 

When they pulled into the driveway, Tony cut the engine and hopped out. Peter did the same, grabbing the bag with their trash and patting his pocket, double-checking for his keys and lighter. He stepped around Tony, who had stopped at the bottom of the front steps, and walked up to the door, fumbling for a minute with his keys under the porch light to find the right one (it had robin’s egg blue polka-dots of May’s favorite nail polish). Tony’s footsteps followed him up the stairs. 

Peter stuck the key in the lock and opened the door a crack before turning to face the taller man. “So.”

Tony’s eyes searched his own as they gazed at one another. “So,” he parroted back. His index finger went up to rub at his nose as he took a hard sniff in. There was a beat of silence. “Thanks for the joint, and uh, the company. It was good seein’ you,” he said at last, a hint of his signature lopsided grin curving his lips. 

Peter felt the goodbye that was coming before it even left Tony’s mouth, and something in him broke. “Don’t leave me here alone.” The words came out of Peter’s mouth in a mumble, and suddenly he couldn’t make eye contact with Tony, losing focus and staring at his own feet instead. He felt the harsh burning of tears as it hit him again just how alone he was about to be when he walked inside, how alone he already was. He was always so fucking alone. 

Even in L.A., so much bigger than fucking Aurora, New York, surrounded by thousands of people, Peter still felt invisible, insignificant. He had no friends. Sure, he had a publicist, and connections, and celebrity acquaintances & clientele. But without his money and his clothes, what would he have? What did he have when he was just Peter Parker, rather than Peter Benjamin, semi-famous designer? Nothing. (When he got the call about May, and he’d broken down in the bathroom during a business meeting with representatives for Tom Ford, he realized he had no one to call. No one to comfort him or tell him it would be okay. He’d sobbed into his pillow that night, screaming his throat raw with Tony’s number punched into his phone, ready to be dialed. He never called.) He had nothing and no one, and it was all his fault because he was so stupid, and maybe this is just what he deserved. If he hadn’t pushed everyone-

“Hey- Hey, Peter, no. Never,” Tony was saying gently, cautiously pulling Peter into his strong arms and out of his anxiety attack. “‘m not goin’ anywhere if y’don’t want me to, baby.” He tucked Peter’s head under his chin, a chill running down his spine due to the chilly evening air. “S’okay, everythin’s okay.” 

Peter sucked in a deep breath through his mouth, trying to calm himself. His forehead dug into Tony’s shoulder painfully but it helped to ground him. The soothing sensation of Tony’s fingers tracing circles on his back helped, too. Peter’s breath was still hitching every so often, so he shut his eyes and tried to synch his breathing with Tony’s. It felt so nice to just be this close to someone- Peter couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held. Tony had probably been the last one to do it, though. (He’d had sex in L.A. of course, but it was all superficial. Nothing real. Nothing like what he had with Tony- not even close.) Shifting slightly, he buried his nose in the crook of Tony’s neck, searching unconsciously for the smell he loved so much; a mix of gasoline, teakwood, and something smoky. The scent sent a shiver down Peter’s spine, and that hot feeling simmered in his stomach again. He’d always joked that he would bottle Tony’s smell if he could. Tony would just laugh and jokingly tease Peter for always having his nose in his neck or armpit.

Now Tony just hummed lightly in response, tightening his hold for a moment before relaxing. “‘Yer’okay,” he whispered, once he could feel that Peter’s breathing had evened out for the most part. 

Peter pulled back a bit and stared at a spot in the middle of Tony’s chest, thinking. He decided to go for it. Worst that could happen was Tony saying no, and leaving Peter here alone, but he knew he’d end up alone eventually. But he’d delay the inevitable as long as he could.  “Kiss me, T,” he said quietly, leaning in before he could change his mind. His lips brushed Tony’s and he pulled back, trying not to go cross eyed looking into the other’s eyes. “I don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

Tony stared at him for a moment before their mouths met again, and Peter nipped gently at his lip before clumsily walking backwards through the cracked front door, pulling Tony with him with their mouths still connected. Tony’s foot kicked it closed behind them, bathing them in darkness, and he tripped a bit when Peter clutched at the lapels of his jacket a little too hard. Cursing under his breath, he leaned back against the door and tugged Peter along, using the support behind him to balance as he toed his boots off. They disconnected momentarily as the shorter man did the same, hands still gripping the denim. 

Peter licked his lip as they stood in the dark entryway. Looking up at Tony, he shrugged his coat off, letting it fall to the hardwood floor beneath them. He reached out and gently pushed the denim jacket off the taller man’s shoulders too before leaning in, stopping just before their lips made contact. “Come upstairs with me,” he whispered. 

Tony’s mocha eyes flitted around for a minute, searching his face for something. Peter couldn’t tell if he liked what he saw, but Tony kissed him again before taking his hand. “Your room,” he questioned, taking hold of the banister and leading Peter up the stairs. 

***

“Fuck, Tony. Right there, right there, ohhhhh.” Peter was on his back with one leg thrown over Tony’s shoulder and the other bent off to the side, the ball of his foot pushing into the mattress. The mechanic’s uncut cock was stretching his lubed hole. Tony was leaning over him and one of his hands was clutching at Peter’s hip, the other at the leg up by his face. His facial hair scratched deliciously against the pale skin on the inside of Peter’s knee as he pressed a kiss there. 

(Tony had kissed and licked and sucked praises into the skin of his neck, chest, stomach and thighs as he’d fingered him open at a torturously slow pace. “So good fer me, Pete. Look at you. You’re so goddamn beautiful.” Peter had whimpered and whined the whole time as he tried to fuck himself on the thick digits whose pads were caressing his prostate.) 

A moan left the older man’s lips as he looked into Peter’s eyes. “You feel so good, baby. Always feel so- fuckin’- good,” he grunted, thrusting further in the tight, wet heat. “Love fuckin’ your ass.”  He dug his fingers tighter into Peter’s skin, sure to leave bruises. 

Gasping, Peter arched his hips up, toes curling, cock bobbing against his stomach with every thrust. He could feel Tony deep inside him, in that place that only he had ever been able to reach. Fuck, why had he ever let this go? Never letting you go again, Tony. You can’t leave me alone. I need you. I love you. He whined, baring his neck in a silent plea and bringing his leg down so that both were wrapped around the man’s thick waist. Tony reacted accordingly; his hands moved up to clutch at Peter’s near the headboard and his mouth latched onto the column of Peter’s neck, sucking. A wounded noise escaped Peter, his hole clenching, and Tony bit down harshly at the sensation. Peter keened again, going limp on the mattress as his legs fell open to the side. “Shit, Tony, god!” 

Hot, wet breath tickled Peter’s neck with every ragged exhale that left Tony’s mouth, causing the smaller to whine lewdly, squirming. “Yeah? Are you- mine? Y’gon be mine- huh, Pete?” Peter heard the unspoken question, the twinge of desperation in Tony’s voice. Will you finally be mine? He sounded tired, that deep-in-your-bones type weariness, Peter noticed as he felt his own chest start to get tight. He’d really done a number on the person who deserved it the least. And for what? To come crawling back years later, expecting to be forgiven? 

Yes, he thought in response to Tony’s question, hating himself for it. One of his hands tangled itself in the crown of Tony’s head, fingers pulling the strands at the root possessively as teeth sunk into his neck again. Yours. Always yours. He let out another moan, rolling his hips in an attempt to get some friction on his neglected cock that was weeping precum as Tony continued to thrust in and out of him. “Please, please- Tony, please.” If Peter had any shame left, he’d probably be blushing at how needy and wrecked he sounded. Instead it just turned him on, knowing just how gone he was for the other man. 

With a grunt, Tony redistributed his weight and brought two fingers to Peter’s lips. “Open up fer a minute, baby,” he requested softly, slipping the digits inside. Peter laved them with his tongue, coating them with thick saliva and Tony groaned at the feeling, dick twitching in Peter’s ass. Once they were sufficiently wet, he pulled his fingers away, a thin string of drool stretching to connect them to Peter’s slick lips. “Fuckin’ gorgeous, Pete, Christ.” His calloused hand wrapped loosely around the hot, rosy cock between them. “Fuck my hand, baby.” 

Peter complied without hesitation, rocking his hips and pressing his shaft in and out of the slick tunnel that was Tony’s hand. He cried out when Tony’s thumb caressed the underside of the head as the cock inside of him nailed directly into his prostate. The pressure had already been a lot, but the pleasure was suddenly overwhelming in a new way. He was so close and Tony hadn’t even been touching him for thirty seconds. “F-fuck, Tony, I’m gonna- Ahhhhh-”  

“Yeah, cum for me, Pete,” Tony’s warm breath heaved into his ear, tongue sneaking out to lick the outer shell and dip inside briefly at the same time he tightened his grip on Peter’s sensitive member.  “Fuck, cum for me, baby, cum on my- Cum on my cock- God-.” 

And with a cry, Peter did just that, biting into Tony’s shoulder as the tension in his gut snapped, hole twitch relentlessly around the hard cock inside him as his own shot spurt after spurt of hot cum on his chest; some reached the hollow of his throat and his chin. “God, Tony, shit, shit, shit.” 

“Yesssss, Pete, holy fuck.” Tony buried himself inside one last time, his mouth latching onto the column of Peter’s neck as he reached his orgasm, shoving himself inside as deep as possible. His dick twitched, painting Peter’s insides with his spend and making him groan. 

They stayed that way for a moment before Tony pulled back to look into Peter’s eyes. “Lemme clean’ya up,” he offered gently as he carefully pulled his softening cock out of the heat of the younger man’s ass. There was a slight burbling sound, and he brushed his lips against Peter’s when he saw the embarrassment flash across his face. “Hol’ on.” Climbing out of the bed, he made his way to the bathroom that was adjoined to Peter’s room.

Peter’s heart was beating uncomfortably in his chest as he lay among the sheets, bringing his hands up to his chest to fiddle with each other anxiously. It couldn’t be over. He wasn’t ready for it to be over. He wasn’t ready to be alone again. 

When Tony walked back in, he got back on the bed, gently wiping the cum off Peter’s chest with a warm rag, smirking at the full-body shivers that ran through the young man in response to the cloth being swiped lightly over his nipples. Once his chest was clean, Tony moved down to run the fabric between Peter’s ass cheeks, collecting the milky-white substance that was leaking out of the hole. 

“Stay,” Peter whispered, once Tony had thrown the washcloth in the hamper and climbed back into bed at Peter’s invitation of patting the spot beside himself in bed. He wiggled so that his back was pressed up against Tony’s front. His fingers tangled themselves with those on a slightly larger hand and as he let his eyes slip shut, he felt Tony’s lips press a kiss into the sweaty curls at the back of his head. 

*** 

When Peter woke up, it was well past noon. The bed was so warm that the heat from his and Tony’s bodies trapped up under the fluffy comforter would be sweltering if he didn’t crave it so much. 

Peter swallowed drily as he looked at Tony’s face in the afternoon light, peaceful in sleep. At some point during their sleep, they had shifted to where they were facing each other. He wanted to trace his fingers along the strong facial features in front of him, but he refrained, not wanting to wake the older man. He knew he needed to talk to Tony. He knew that Tony deserved better. But maybe Peter could be selfish just this once... It was Christmas after all. Tis the damn season and all that. 

Leaning forward, with a hand pressed gently against Tony’s chest, Peter pecked his lips against the sleeping man’s in a kiss. He got no response, so he did it again, adding a little more pressure. Tony began to stir; his arm wrapped lazily around Peter’s naked waist, pulling their bottom halves together. 

“G’mornin’,” Tony mumbled sleepily as he blinked a few times before his gaze focused on Peter. His voice was scratchy and rough, and Peter’s hips jerked slightly in response as he whispered back his own greeting, partially because Tony had begun to get hard. The mechanic brought up a hand and took hold of Peter’s chin, pulling their mouths together as he ground their burgeoning erections together. 

Peter wrapped a leg around Tony’s waist as they lay there on their sides and began to gently rock his hips. “Tony,” he mewled, eyes screwed shut. The words were bubbling up inside him, just like the arousal was blooming in his gut. One of his arms wrapped around Tony’s neck, pulling their bodies together as close as they could get. 

“Yeah,” came Tony’s breathy reply. His eyes were roving over Peter’s flushed face as he undulated his own hips, thumb coming up to press against the younger’s spit-slick bottom lip. “Whadisit?”

Peter took the digit into his mouth for a moment and they made eye contact as he swirled his tongue around the tip, fellating it. He released it from his mouth with a pop, biting his own lip. “Am I too late,” he asked quietly, burying his face in the muscled chest before him, pecking tender kisses on the heated flesh. “Do you still love me?” His voice shook as he continued, breath faltering as well as the sensations built up. He squeezed his eyes shut even though Tony couldn’t see the tears building in his eyes as he chased his pleasure, preparing for the inevitable pain that was sure to follow. 

“Pete.” The way Tony said his name was reverent, like he didn’t see Peter for the walking mistake that he was. He was breathing heavier now, too, with the exertion of frotting their hard cocks together. “How could I ever stop, baby?” He craned his neck in order to meet Peter’s eyes. “Was just waitin’ on ya t’come home.” He pressed their lips together as Peter’s leg tightened around his waist. “Was always just waitin’ on ya t’come home,” he repeated. A particularly hard thrust had them both groaning, clutching desperately at each other as they chased that euphoric feeling. “’Course I love you, Peter. Now cum for me.”

Peter couldn’t help but obey as a sob burst from his lips, Tony following him over the edge. “I love you,” he cried, as their bodies shook together. “I’m s-sorry Tony, I love you- Don’t go, don’t ever leave me. I won’t- I promise I won’t go again. I can’t go again, I can’t leave you again. I won’t.” Tony’s thumbs came up to wipe the tears from under his eyes, and a kiss was pressed to his temple as he felt himself be pulled into those strong arms. 

“I’d never leave you, Pete.”

***

The bed was cold when Peter woke again. He lay there, watching the sunset through his bedroom window. Gentle creaks could be heard as the house groaned under pressure from the falling snow. He rolled over, grimacing at the pain in his lower half and pulling a pillow to his chest. It still smelled of teakwood, smoke, and gasoline. He smiled, burying his face further into the intoxicating scent. “I love you,” he whispered to the empty house, feeling lighter than he had in years. 

(Yes, the bed was cold, now. But Tony would be back to warm it up. And he’d have burgers, fries, and a banana milkshake when he returned. Maybe even a joint. Peter was glad he didn’t have to wait long. They’d had just about enough of that over the past seven years.)

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Under the Moonlight and Fireworks // Tamaki Amajiki

Authors Notes ♡: hi hi, I’m Bunny and welcome to my first collab and first official fic I post to this blog! I promise I’m gonna be active even more now, I’ve written a few things I plan on posting in the next week or so! I’m so glad to be a part of this lovely collab and hopefully you guys will see me in many more! I hope I did my baby Tamaki well in this, I just love him so much~ I hope you enjoy reading this and much as I did writing it ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : none! (Maybe a lil angst if you squint really hard) I tried my best to make a tooth rotting cotton candy fluffy fluff story for Tama!

Word count : 5k give or take!

Paring(s) : Tamaki Amajiki x F! Reader

Mirio and Nejire are dating in this world too ♡

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Summer, the warmest time of the year, from spring flings to summer love, studying to vacations, the time of the year students look forward to, being able to make some of your fondest memories. Even in its short duration, Summer is arguably one of the people’s favorite times of the year.

For Tamaki however, he dreads this summer more than the ones he had before.

You see, He doesn’t hate the heat, or the social interactions (shudder), or getting ready for his exams, his work studies that go through the summer break, or having to get stronger, as he is one of UA’s big three. Oh no, no of these bother him at all. Not even talking about the work studies to 1-A (which is terrifying in itself) can compare to this. This summer has him dreadful for one very big problem, a big issue, specifically one person he can confirm his dread comes from.

[First Name] [Last Name].

One of his childhood friends (alongside Mirio), one of the first people to talk to him, to get to know him, someone who knows him sometimes more than he knows himself. Yes, [First name] [Last Name], the person who makes his heart beat a million miles per second when he hears her laugh or see her blinding smile. The girl with a golden heart...

Is causing him so much dread.

————————————————

It started with a smile, a gentle sign of acknowledgment, warmth, and care without saying a single thing

—————————————————

“Hi, I’m [Name]! What’s your name!? Have you gotten your quirk!? I have mine it’s-“ The small girl rambled on and on, and all Tamaki could do was blink. Between meeting Mirio and this mystery girl [Name], he didn’t know how much more interaction he could take. He looked at the strange duo in front of him, Both coming to talk and befriend the timid boy. With a smile and a grab of a hand by the girl, Tamaki, Mirio and her ran around the playground, they talked and played the rest of his first day, starting the beginning of their friendship.

“Hey, I know! How about we become a group! We can become heroes together and take out the villains!” Mirio said one day during lunch, the small children eating from their bento boxes. “Hey, we should! Then when we get older we can be like All Might!” [Name] said happily, jumping up and down with Mirio while Tamaki watched them, slowly picking in his bento for the octopus-shaped sausages.

“ Whatcha got Tama?” The girl asked, causing young Tamaki to turn crimson “N-nothing something my m-momma made me...” He answered timidly, trying to close the lid before she could see the cut-out creatures in his lunch. To his dismay, she did. “Hey don’t be shy! I like octopuses, your mom really must love you to do something like that!” [Name] said, smiling at her stuttering friend.

“ Hey, do you like octopuses Tama?” She said, widened and bright eyes looking into his slanted darker ones. With a sigh he looked up to her, seeing how close she was, young Tama couldn’t help but to fall backward, shocked at the close proximity of his counterpart. “ Wahhh are you okay Tama??” “Hey, Amajiki are you alright?!” The two asked, looking over the small hill he had rolled down. Without hesitation, they came to his aid, Mirio reaching out to help him up

Whilst [Name], helped brush grass from him. “Butterflies..” He let off, the pair confusingly looked at him. “My favorite animal has to be butterflies..” He said, looking up at [Name] with a small smile that she too, had forming onto her face...

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Then there was the exchange of gifts, unspoken words, and heavy hearts

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“Hey, Tama! Mirio!” [Name] yelled down the hall towards her two best friends, seeing them head to the gym for the ending ceremony of the fifth grade. “[NickName]” Mirio yelled back, running towards her as she met him halfway, the two turning to their shy friend. “We were headed to the gym, let's go before they start!” Mirio said energetically, running off to the double doors. “Hey wait up! Come on Tama!” She said, grabbing him by the hand and catching up to their hyper partner.

The ceremony went smoothly, Tamaki and her holding hands until the very end.

“[N-Name]...” Tamaki said softly, grabbing the girls’ hand a bit tighter as they started home, book bags filled with the last day's stuff they either left in their lockers or got from teachers. “Tama?” She questioned, turning to face him. With skin as hot as coal and a shaky breath , Tamaki reached in his bag and gave her a white bunny, a blue dress on it with a vibrant blue butterfly clip on the ear. “T-this is...this is f-for you...” he said so quietly he was shocked when he heard a response “oh Tama..she’s beautiful” With gentle hands she took the bunny from him, playing with the hem of the blue dress. With a gasp and a smile she dug in her bag, giving him a squishy and soft red octopus, an identical blue butterfly pinned to a tentacle. “I guess we had the same idea huh?” She said with darkened cheeks, looking away as he took the octopus from her.

“Y-you..wanted to get me something too..?” He said in disbelief, looking at her with doe like eyes. “Of course! I gave Mirio a Ox because he’s just , well, big and cuddly like one!” She said, giving Tama what he called “the sun in a smile” face, a soft giggle falling from her lips. The two of them stood there for what felt like eternity, then finally, finally [Name] moved, giving tamaki a hug. A stuttering and blushing mess , he froze, not knowing how to handle the display of affection when he heard what she whispered to him “I’ll always be connected to you now Tama “ she said and with a kiss to his ear she ran off before he could say anything, his heart aflame as he watched his best friend dart around the corner.

“Hey Tamaki!” Mirio said, seeing his friend frozen on the concrete. With a snap back to reality, tamaki looked at Mirio, his heart feeling heavenly and heavy all in the same breath. “Y-yeah?” He said looking back at the blonde boy. ‘So bright’ he thought to himself and they walked home.”I heard [Name] was going back to the states” Mirio started, judging by his friends' shocked and sad face , he knew she didn’t tell him. “She didn’t say that when she left huh? Well don’t worry tamaki! We’ll see her again. I just know it! “ Mirio said joyfully with a thumbs up, seeing his sad and shy friend get worse. ‘Maybe that’s what she means by we’ll always be connected..’ Tamaki thought to himself, the octopus she gave him wrapped safely in his arms....

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Left with a broken promise, fragile in time , stuck in the suspense of hope in the future

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It didn’t matter as the school year started for middle school, nothing felt the same. Mirio was here but she wasn’t..

He felt like he was missing something, somewhere something was missing.

Her.

He couldn’t stop thinking of the girl who constantly pushed him out of his normal, to push him into bigger and better things, no matter his rebuttal. He missed laughing, eating bento in the grass. No looking out for butterflies together, no long walks home. No warmth.

He had Mirio and he was enough for the two of them

He never noticed it until now..and he wishes he did sooner.

He needed her too, more than he knew , a bigger piece into his life was missing that was more than he thought.

————————————————————

Then the fireworks came, setting off a fuse to a blaze that couldn’t be bothered to try and be contained

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Tamaki didn’t like festivals, too many people and things everywhere. But he promised Mirio he’d go, with their new friend, Nejire Hado. He saw her the beginning of their first year, and she was just like her in a very odd and....aloof way. She had the same spark he could say, louder and more outgoing, but she felt right in their friendship. ‘I wanna go home’ tamaki thought to himself, looking for the tuft of blonde hair or periwinkle wandering about. He was hot, tired, and drained. He wanted to see the fireworks, he really did, he just..couldn’t. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone from his yukata when-

A laugh

A pair of laughs

The sound of angels to his ears

In turning around he saw Nejire, bubbly and happy as can be rambling to a girl, who had on one of the most unique yukatas he saw all night. Dragons and waves, tigers and flames, wolves and mountain tops. Dark with golden trim, Artistry and design at it’s finest. From her in geta to the black, red and gold yukata, to the beautiful pieces placed in her hair. Soft makeup that he’d never seen before.

Unique, like her.

He knew what he saw but he didn’t want to believe it

She couldn’t be back

Could she?

And with Nejire?

Then it happens, the fireworks began to blast, colors in the sky as people stop to watch and it’s almost silent, almost, except for the pounding in Tamaki’s heart as he watches his best friend, no , love of his life , smile up to the sky , that same glow as the day he met her.

And that’s when he realizes ‘I’m in love with her’

——————————————————

And everything froze for that moment

——————————————————

He saw her.

Her eyes suddenly went from the sky to his , and they widened , full of questions, happiness and warmth , and also...fear? Sadness? A hint of nervousness? He couldn’t pinpoint it but once their eyes saw each other, nothing mattered, no one mattered, except them in that moment. She looked different...her body was shapely and taller than she was in the fifth grade of course. She was stunning, no , she was beautiful, a goddess amongst the morals as he saw it. He couldn’t help but want to hide , feeling like he couldn’t look , fearing to get burned.....

But he wanted to touch the sun, to have it to himself regardless of the pain, regardless of burn.

He wanted the warmth of her to scorch him, to free him

—————

She saw him.

The way he looked at her made her heart flip, Nejire’s words far gone as she saw her best friend in the distance. Way taller than she last saw him, a stronger physical shape and still his boyish charm had morphed into his handsome qualities. Eyes unsure of where to look, him slowly clamming up at the sight of her. She knew better than to get offended, if anything she was flattered, her childhood friend must feel something like she did. But within that she still saw the same shy third grade Tamaki Amajki in front of her, scared to speak his mind, making her heart smile at the thought. ‘He hasn’t changed a bit’ she said to herself as she smiled sweetly at him, throwing a gentle wave to him as her hyper female friend Nejire pulled her to a stand , then disappearing into the sea of people.....

But the only sea she wanted to drown in was the darkness of his eyes wrapped in the cool of his arms.

She wanted the sea of him to take her into his heart

—————

“Tamaki?” Mirio said, touching his friends shoulders as he watched him jump at the feeling, wide eyes and stuttering out incomplete sentences, he shook him and with the loudest and most confident voice Mirio’s ever seen or hear his best friend say “She’s here, she back Mirio, my bunny’s back”

—————————————————

Which brings us to the current time of why Tamaki hates the summer. His long standing, hidden feeling crush is back in town, and going to one of the biggest hero course based schools in Japan ,UA Academy, with no other than the shy boy himself

—————————————————

“Why didn’t you tell me she was back, Mirio?” Tamaki said , a large sigh tumbling from his lips As he watched the two girls walk arm and arm together to class , Mirio and himself headed to their own designated room. “I didn’t know myself Tamaki, honest! Nejire just said she was showing a new student around , how was I supposed to know it was [Name]! I’m glad she's back though, I missed her but obviously not as much as you do ~” Mirio stated, elbowing his red friend as they sat down for their lessons. ‘Didn’t know..huh’ he looked out the window as everyone poured in. This was gonna be a long day..

———————

Nejire walked arm and arm with [Name], the two of them blabbering to each other as they headed to their class together. “Aw come on and have fun, I need your help y'know don’t laugh at me! ” She whined, shaking the now laughing girl. “I know! Why don’t you talk to him for me?” She said with her iconic excitement, turning to face [Name] as she owlishly blinked back at the girl, hands up in defense. “Uh uh don’t get me in your way of what your crush. I’m not even that helpful in these things!” She said with a giggle as they started to walk once again, passing an open classroom. Stealing a glance through the open door, she swore she saw a certain blonde and Indigo duo she hadn’t talked to in years, not counting the fact she saw them at the recent festival she went to with Nejire. With the sudden stop Nejire turned around, looking back at her with a confused look.

“[Name]? Hello did you hear me?” She asked , waving her hand in front of the girl as she snapped out of it, smiling nervously back at her friend calling her. “Huh? Oh yeah! I-I’m fine just got a little distracted” She said, waving off Nejire's side glance as she headed to their classroom. The periwinkle haired girl watched her friend with a pout, looking into the classroom as she saw her other two best friends. “Miri! Tama! Hey!!” She said , running into the classroom as she hugged them, Tamaki hating her loud appearance while Mirio blushed at the girls’ affection. “ Hey Neji, what’s up?” Mirio asked, color flushing his face, a thing his quiet friend noticed. With a nervous smile Nejire let go of the boys, giving them room as she laughed. “Nothing much, heading to class with [Name], what’re you guys doing? Are you guys ready for the class collab this afternoon?!” She started excitedly

Tamaki immediately looked up, eyes wide as he heard her name. ‘She is here, but why? Is she in the hero’s course too? Sigh...I wanna go home..I can’t face her..not yet’ He thought to himself. “Yep we sure are! I can’t wait to see her, is she really here? Where?!” Mirio jumped up , grabbing the shorter girl’s shoulders. “W-well we’re in class together! Class 2-A!” She said , a wild spread of color onto her cheeks settling in as she looked at the energetic blonde. “Tamaki let's go say hi! It’s been awhile since we saw her, I bet she’s happy to see us as much as we are to see her! Oh yeah, I can’t wait to ask her about the states, I wonder what she’s been up to!” Mirio said as he ran out of the room , headed to the neighboring one.

“Let’s go chicken heart!” Nejire turned to Tamaki, seeing the boy even gloomier than usual. “ Oh come on you knew her before I did! It’ll be fun, we can even be the big four!” She giggled as she tried to drag the elf ear boy along, a sigh falling from his lips. ‘Definitely a long day..’ he thought. “I’ll wait here Hado..I’ll talk to her later..” He said, pulling from the confused girl. “Aw come on, shell be happy to see you! Let’s go yeah?” Nejire begged to no avail, Tamaki already facing the wall in defeat. With a heavy sigh and pout she went after Mirio, leaving him to stew in his thoughts.

——————————

“So...you want to ask Hado out?” Tamaki started, looking to his usually ecstatic friend, a nervous look washing over his face. “Y-yeah..I dunno Tamaki, she’s something special. I can’t help the way my heart feels whenever she appears, her smile makes me warm, she's like a female me! Ah what can I say, I just feel..whole y'know? In a relationship way not saying that you don’t make me feel happy and whole too! Hey Tamaki! Stop looking like that!” Mirio said, finally turning to the boy after his confession, seeing his friend now looking intimidatingly at his lunch, chopsticks pulling apart the fried octopus in his meal.

“I dunno Mirio...are you sure you want to do this..? What if she..rejects you…?” The pessimistic boy said, looking over to his friend in concern. “Well...we’d just have to go back to being friends! No harm in that right?” Mirio said, happy as can be with a smile to Tamakis’ dismay. ‘How can someone be so happy all the time..’ he thought, hearing his friend explain how he’d confess to Nejire, but all he could think about is how to do the same for [Name]. ‘Oh bunny..I hope I could one day too..tell you how much you mean to me..’ Tamaki thought, looking up as the sun shined brightly.

————————

“Okay so I wanna confess to Miri” Nejire blurted out, halting a stretching [Name]. “You want to do WHAT?” [Name] said , a little louder than she hoped, seeing angry stares at her as she apologized, looking back at her friend. “ You really want to go to the next step huh?” She said soon sighing ”Do you...think you’re ready Neji? There's good AND bad that could come from this, I don’t want you getting your heart hurt if it doesn’t work out…” She said, looking back to the periwinkle haired girl , determination plastered onto her face. “ I have to [Name] , if I don’t I won’t be able to know if I really like him , so I can finally deal with this silly crush once and for all!” Nejire said, turning to look back at her lost friend. “Trust me , I’ll be okay..I need to do this. Next year is our last year together, and if we have a blossoming love into the ages I refuse to miss the opportunity!” She said, enthusiasm laced throughout her speech.

“I’ll text him now! Tell him there’s something I have to tell him” Nejire started, opening her phone as she typed vigorously, sending the text with a ’ping’ “Well alright..but I’m telling you now I’m no wingman!” [Name] said , following behind Nejire, who soon was squealing through the halls, starting to run towards the stairs. “He said yes [Name] , he said yes! He told me to come up to the rooftop! C'mon we have to hurry before class starts!” Nejire said, taking up the stairs. “Wait! Ugh love birds..” [Name] grumbled, speeding up to catch up to her.

———————————

Twilight, when the sun and the moon meet in the middle to change, from night to day , day to night. I’m this cause however, love is blossoming in the mist of its glory

——————————————

Year 3, the final stretch until UAs’ finest become heroes in the world, men and women joining the social aspect of the world. But Tamaki knew it was a mock to that part in highschool, truly it being a ticking time bomb for him to confess his own feelings for his childhood best friend. The duo were currently headed for the workshop to get the updated gear they put in from the support class, both them excited to see the updates and new gear they ordered in. “Hey Tama, what did you think your hero gear looks like now? Ah I can’t wait! I hope now I don’t have to worry about tears and damaging me and my whole outfit!” [Name] said happily, rambling about her gear. Tamaki looked fondly at his energetic friend, his eyes sparkling as he took in her appearance.

The UA uniform hugging her in all the right places, her smile bringing a warmth to his heart. Her skin looked soft to the touch and her hair pinned and out of the way of her face, displaying her happy disposition. She soon looked up and met eyes with the shy boy as he soon turned red, stuttering out apologizes as he hid his face from the now giggling girl, her own face warming at noticing him staring at her. “Aw don’t be shy Tama! What’s up? Something wrong?” [Name] said, tilting her head to him as she leaned closer, which caused Tamaki to lean back from her and stutter even more which amused the girl even more. “ N-nothing s-stop teasing me bunny..” he whispered to the girl, turning even darker as he faced the wall , feeling his heart starting to speed, fluttering against his ribcage as the butterflies in his stomach rose up to meet his throat, the two mingling until they made a knot in the middle.

He tensed when [Name] wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking her face under his arm to look at him, a soft smile splayed on her face. “Tamaki. Talk to me, what's got you so flustered hm?” Her voice calmed him but also made him nervous as he finally turned around to her , with darkened cheeks and a shaking body , he grabbed her hands, holding them in his own as they both looked in eachothers eyes, each slowly moving towards the other when..

“Hey you two! Are you guys getting your gear too!?” They heard a loud happy voice yelling from down the hall, knowing it was a certain happy go lucky couple. Tamaki quickly released [Name] , both of them flustered as they didn’t look up to their friends, an awkward silence falling between them as they walked into the workshop.

————————————————

“Tamaki you really should tell her! I bet she’ll say yes, and if it's anything like what we saw last week it seems she’s really into you too!” Mirio said to his timid friend, the indigo haired boy in thought as he watched the girl he was practically in love with laughing and joking with his other best friend and Mirios’ girlfriend Nejire.”You remember how scared I was to tell Neji I liked her and it turned out she was coming to tell me the same thing! The way you and [Name] stared at each other until we were done confessing had meaning in it y'know?” Mirio looked over at Tamaki, the shy boy now glancing towards him.

With a deep breath he continued “I know when she left you were heartbroken Tamaki….” With that statement , Tamaki perked up to look at his blonde friend seeing him look at him with soft eyes “You’ve always been in love with her Tama, everyone could see it…” With a sigh , Tamaki started, opening and shutting his mouth but with no avail , nothing came out. Mirio smiled and continued his thoughts “ We all hoped you’d tell her soon, to at least see where it could go….All of us really, you two maka a great duo as heroes, and we all see the chemistry, inside and out of the ring. And you know Neji, once she gets her mind set on something she doesn’t give up until it happens.” He said , glancing to his periwinkle haired lover talking to [Name] , the other girls face flushing with color as Nejire continued to talk on and on , obviously giving their other friend the same talk he was doing up here.

“I’ll...talk to her” Tamaki finally spoke up, shocking his optimistic friend. “What? Really??” Mirio said , grabbing Tamaki's arm and shaking the now dejected boy. “That’s great Tama, I’ll let Nejire know! Y'know we were planning to go out and get some pre summer fun done before we get out of school and start our pro hero lives! Why don’t you tell her there?” Mirio said , giving Tamaki a thumbs up. “Sure..what’s worse than confessing to a crush but doing it in public…” Tamaki responded, walking towards the door of the roof with his excited friend beside him,texting his girlfriend the plans as they headed down to meet them. ‘ I hope this works...Bunny I hope you’ll feel the same too..’ He thought to himself, trying to be the most confident he could muster inside of him.

————————————————

Tamaki waited outside with Mirio outside of the girls dorm, the energetic blonde constantly trying to giving the pessimistic indigo advice of what to say and how to confess, but all he could think about was all the ‘what ifs’ and how this could go wrong. Just before he started to try and get out of something he thought could bring him more regret the main door opened, showing a happy Nejire and a shy [Name] hidden behind her.

“Sorry boys it took so long! [Name] and me had to get ready , wanted to look our best for you two!” Nejire said with a wink, walking over to kiss Mirio on the cheek.” Well you two look beautiful! Don’t they Tamaki?” He asked , seeing as his friend was disgraced by the girl in front him, mouth slightly agape. “H-huh! Oh y-yeah you both look n-nice..” He rambled out, turning from his crush in front of him, looking everywhere except to make eye contact with the girl in front of him “Aw Tama stop being like that! [Name] got all dressed up and pretty for you and you won’t even look at her!” Nejire said, smacking the timid boy in the back with her purse.

With a pout from Mirio telling her to give their shy friend time, the couple started walking, the two shy friends behind them following close behind.”Nejire“I-it’s okay! He’s just nervous is all!” She defended him as well, walking beside Tamaki and throwing him a small smile. “We better keep up, or Nejire will have your head at this rate!” She laughed as he let off a deep sigh, all of them heading to what Nejire called their “romantic getaway”. As they went up the hill, [Name] gasped happily, looking down at an early festival going on. “Guys come look! It looks like they’re having some type of festival going on!” She exclaimed and Nejire sat beside her, they both giggled with joy as they watched the people beneath them run and dance around happily as the festival continued. Soon Tamaki and Mirio joined them , sitting beside each girl as they watched on, the joy from the day settling into them all.

As the sun started to set, Nejire gently laid her head on Mirios shoulder, the blonde smiling down at his girlfriend as they started snuggling up to each other in the sunset, drifting asleep on one another.

“Ah looks like the two of them are starting to sleep” [Name] said softly, seeing as their lovebird friends were drifting off as the sun hung low in the horizon, everyone in the festival gathering as they collected fireworks to set off.

“Y-yeah..” Tamaki agreed softly, looking at the girl beside him, his heart skipping a beat as she was already glancing over to him, a smile grazing her lips.

“I’m glad we’re here, back together Tama...I..missed you a lot when I went back home..it wasn’t the same” [Name] said with a whisper. “I..didn’t want to leave you..it’s why I gave you that octopus, I guess that was sorta silly..trying to convey how I felt with a stuffed animal “ She let out a light sigh, shaking her head as she watched the sun slip away. Tamaki reached out for her hand causing the girl to snap her head towards him, seeing his cheeks flush.

“[N-name]...Bunny..I’ve always c-cared for you and y-you moving c-changed nothing..if anything I-it made me realize how m-much you mean to me..I think…no..I know I’m in love with you, and I-I’m hoping...t-that you..c-could maybe..” And before he had the chance to finish they heard the iconic pop of fireworks, the two of them turning to watch the array of lights, their hands intertwined. As the moon slipped up from being hidden under the horizon, Tamaki watched [Name] , a smile settling on his lips as the moon and fireworks making the girl seem lambent to him, inside and out.

“Bunny..” He called out to her and with a soft hum she turned to him , eyebrow raised. ‘It’s now or never..’ Tamaki thought to himself, standing up as he held out his hand to her. [Name] smiled and stood with him, holding his hand back as she tilted her head, eyes wandering between his.”B-be mine..?” He asked, almost so quiet he didn’t expect her to let out a held breath and with a gentle smile answered “I’ve always been yours”. With a shaky exhale of a breath he pulled her closer, closing the distance between them with a passionate kiss, savoring the first of many kisses together, under the moon and fireworks.

——————————————————

Bonus ♡ !! :

Later that night , the gang of Tamaki and [Name] headed back with Mirio and Nejire, all four of them sitting on the floor of Mirios’ dorm as they ate snacks until their dinner arrived. “ Okay so! What should we watch tonight?” Nejire asked, stuffing her face soon after with marshmallows. “Please Hado..don’t chew with your mouth open..” Tamaki whispered, laying his head on [Name]’s Lap as she played with his hair, a held snort coming out. “We have games too! Don’t forget!” She said in response , laughing at her periwinkle haired friend as she started to finish her bowl of gummy white marshmallows, smiling when she was done. “Okay okay, now! Games or a movie?” “Games.” Mirio interrupted , a smirk growing on his face. “Let’s make a bet , whoever loses has to help and serve the winners” With a huff, Nejire stood to her taller male counterpart, cheeks puffed “That’s why we’ll win! You’re on!” Tamaki let out a sigh of disappointment and [Name] couldn’t help but smile, kissing the cheeks of her new boyfriend. “ It'll be okay Tama, I’m here remember?” She said softly as he sat up from her lap , giving her a proper kiss “You are and I wouldn’t change this for anything. I love you bunny” Tamaki said , kissing her once more on the lips, their friend arguing background noise as she kissed him back with a sweet “I love you too Tama”

[booksimp]

Begin Again - Azriel - Part One

Synopsis: Azriel and Alora broke up six months ago. Alora still isn’t sure exactly why Azriel shut her out, and she can’t stand to be in the same room as him. With Nesta’s help, Alora has been avoiding Azriel at group events since the breakup. Inspired by “Into You” by Julia Michaels. 

 “So he’s gonna be there then?” I whisper into the phone, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

“Actually, the asshole’s already here. I’m sorry, Alora. He was supposed to be away for work until next week.” 

Nesta’s voice is hushed, her irritation obvious. I sigh, my breath creating a cloud of ice in the air around me. I stop walking and turn on my heel, heading back the way I’d come. I had been walking to Feyre and Rhysand’s baby shower, gift for their little one in hand. But Azriel, my ex-fiancee, has decided to make an unscheduled appearance. I scowl to myself and shove the wrapped parcel into my coat pocket. Rhys and Feyre are some of my dearest friends, and I was really looking forward to being there today. 

“It’s okay, Nesta. I’ll just give Feyre her gift later. Can you tell them I’m sorry, something just… came up?”.” 

I sigh again, hating that I have to miss their big day and even worse, lie to them about it. Though I’m sure they see right through it, since Feyre knows every dirty detail about the breakup. 

Nesta has been acting as my personal Azriel detector since he and I broke up six months ago. I’m beyond grateful for her help, but I know the responsibility of it is starting to wear on her patience. 

“You know you’ll have to be in the same room as him eventually, right?  You guys have a lot of friends in common.” Nesta says frankly. I flinch slightly, but I know better than to take her words personally. Nesta is nothing if not painfully forthright. 

“I know. I just can’t be in the same room as him and Mor right now. I can’t see how he looks at her.” I pause to shudder, flashing back to the night I’d found them dancing at Rita’s,  a mere six weeks after Azriel and I ended. She was all over him, and he was grinning like a fool. I hadn’t seen him smile like that for quite awhile. I suppose I should be happy he found his smile again, even if it wasn’t with me. 

“I’ve been thinking of moving back home to San Diego.” I blurt, as if getting it out faster will make it easier. Nesta is one of my best friends, but she still scares the shit out of me. I know she’ll like the idea of me leaving about as much as a bull loves the color red. 

For a few beats, Nesta is entirely silent. I chew my lip nervously, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I wait for my turn to use the crosswalk. I’ve lived in Chicago for three years now, since I moved here to pursue a career in publishing. I met Nesta and her sisters almost immediately. Soon after, they introduced me to their friends, and we’ve all been inseparable ever since.

“You’re not actually fucking serious, are you? You can’t just run away because that idiot broke your heart. This is your home.”  Nesta growls, and I hear a door shut from her end of the line. Oh shit, she really has something to say if she felt the need to find a more private venue. Nesta isn’t one to hide her outbursts. Seeing as I’m not in the mood to get my ass chewed and spit back out, I retreat. Strategically, of course. 

“I’ll let you get back to the baby shower. I have to go anyway.” 

Nesta snorts, and I can hear the scowl in her voice. 

“Okay, coward. We’ll talk tomorrow, I’m coming over.” 

I roll my eyes and pocket my cell phone. If there was ever a way to describe Nesta, its ‘Tough love’. I walk the three blocks to my apartment in a huff, trudging through ankle deep snow all the while. I take my frustration out on fluffy piles of snow, kicking at them as I walk. By the time I’m locking the door behind me, my socks are soaked and I’m shivering despite my massive winter coat. You can take the girl out of California, but you can’t take California out of the girl. 

I take a burning hot shower, dress in my warmest pajamas, and I’m curled up in bed in no time. I’m halfway through White Christmas when a text pings on my phone. 

Azriel: Nesta says you’re moving back to SD. Can we talk? 

Instantly, I’m cold as death beneath my plethora of fluffy Christmas blankets. That all too familiar pang in my chest returns in full force, so insistent that I can’t seem to catch my breath. Without meaning to, I’d read the text in his voice. I haven’t heard his voice in months, but it haunts me, a ghost I can never exorcise. I hear it in my dreams, in crowded rooms, in the harmony of some of our favorite songs. A second text pops up. 

Azriel: Please, Alora. I know that you’re seeing this. You can’t keep shutting me out. I’m sorry, okay?

I scoff indignantly, my vision going red. I can’t shut him out? Him? I spent months trying to get him to talk to me, to tell me what was so obviously eating him up inside. Instead of letting me in, he pushed me as far from him as possible.  And then, there was The Mor Incident. I knew he’d had a massive crush on her in college, but I thought it was long over. How naive of me. 

For weeks after I moved out, Azriel tried to contact me everyday. He would text and call constantly, and ask our friends to get me to talk to him. At first, I was too hurt to respond.I needed my own time and space for a while. And when I saw him with Mor, I decided he’d never get a response from me. I knew what I needed to know.  If anyone deserves to be iced out, it's the man who proposed to me and changed his mind about it like he was changing his order at starbucks. 

Azriel: Talk to me. What can I do? 

I grind my teeth and explode up out of my bed, too angry to even sit still. I pace my bedroom, my stomps probably heard by my downstairs neighbor. What can he do? For shit’s sake, if only he’d asked himself that question six months ago. A deluge of memories flood through my mind, dragging me beneath their frigid depths. Our one sided battles, where I begged and pleaded for him to let me in, and he refused. The nights he slept on the couch, or at Cassian’s. But the one that hurts the most, is the last one.

“Jesus christ, just talk to me! Please, Az. I just need you to talk to me.” I plead, tears running freely down my cheeks. 

Azriel keeps his back to me as he hurls clothes into a duffel bag, the muscles of his shoulders tensed to the point of breaking. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Lora.”

His voice, that deep, melodic voice I love so much, is empty. Devoid of all feeling, all the love that used to shine through in every word he spoke to me. My chest feels like he’s cracked it open, and scraped me empty. Stolen all the warmth, all the joy. The fireplace crackles nearby, and yet I don’t feel a lick of its flame.

“There’s everything to talk about! I don’t even know why you’re leaving. You’ve been in  pain, but you won’t tell me why. You won’t let me help.” I’m yelling now, but he still hasn’t so much as looked my way. A dark, heartrending thought creeps in.

“ Are-are you leaving me?” The question comes out in a broken whisper. I can hear the heartbreak in my own voice, and he curses under his breath. 

Finally, he turns to face me. His face is nearly as empty as his voice, save for the deep purple circles beneath his eyes. Those gorgeous, hazel eyes that are filled with a nameless agony he refuses to share with me. His hair is more tousled than usual, his shirt wrinkled, shoulders slumped. He looks like a man defeated. 

“Fuck baby, of course I’m not leaving you. I just- I need some time. To clear my head.” 

His eyes finally meet mine for a second, and he reaches for me. His fingers barely brush my cheek before he yanks them away, fisting them at his side.

I’m close on his heels as he storms into the living room, towards the front door. 

“But you are, Az. You’re choosing to leave instead of talk to me. We’re supposed to be partners, remember? We're getting married, Az .” I’m desperate now, my voice climbing an octave for every step he takes away from me. 

He stops with his hand on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder at me. But he refuses to meet my gaze again. Like he can’t bear to look at me. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t.” 

His words hit me like a punch to the stomach, and all the breath leaves my body. A trembling begins in my hands. I feel untethered, like a boat abandoned at sea. 

“You don’t want to get married?” I rasp, hugging my arms around myself. Cold is seeping into my bones, my chest. I don’t think I’ll ever be warm again. 

Azriel struggles for words a few moments longer, a battle raging in the eyes I love most. He turns to me again and I see the tears building in them. I search his face for an explanation, silently begging him. Stay. Please stay. His voice is thick with emotion when he speaks. 

“We can talk about it later. I’m gonna stay with Cassian tonight.” 

He turns towards the door once more, but I can’t stop myself from asking the question that's been buzzing in my head for weeks. 

“Is that really where you’re going, Az?”My voice is clipped, cold to my own ears. He pauses, confusion clear on his face. 

“Are you sure there’s not someone else you’re seeing when you ‘go to Cassian’s’ ?” I demand, placing a hand on the dining table to my right.

 If he gives me the answer I’m expecting, I may well need the support. Azriel’s face goes blank with shock, and he leans back against the door, not able to stand on his own. 

“Jesus, Lor. I’m not fucking cheating on you.” He spits out, as he hoists the duffel bag over his shoulder. 

My relief is short lived.

He wrenches the front door open, and the ancient thing groans like it might very well come off its hinges. In that moment, something snaps inside me. 

“If you walk out that door, you might as well be leaving me. If you walk out right now, we’re done.” 

I expect the words to finally wake him up, to reach where he’s hidden himself away, and bring my Azriel back. The Azriel that planned a picnic for our first date, or ran through the ER with me in his arms when my appendix burst. The Azriel that asked me to marry him, then made love to me under the stars. 

But wherever that Az is, he’s far, far away.  

“I need to go. I’m sorry, Lor” 

After a moment of hesitation, he walks out the door. The sound of it closing like that of the lid of a coffin, sealing me inside.  Alone.

 I stay up all night, waiting for him to come back. Praying that he comes back. I lay alone in our bed, the sheets suddenly frigid and too abundant. All the extra leg room is a slap in the face. I watch the flames in the fireplace dying as the sun rises. Until all that’s left of that once roaring fire are embers. I watch until those too burn out, and go cold. 

I blink, the sound of another message breaking me free of the torturous cycle of  memories. I wipe traitorous tears from my cheeks and retrieve my phone from where I discarded it. 

Nesta: Hey, I might’ve let slip to Elain that you were thinking of moving home. And of course she told Lucien, who told Azriel. Apparently, he wasn’t pleased. I’m sorry, Lor. 

I sigh, type a quick reply and check the time. 9:58pm. Jesus, today has felt like a lifetime. I look around my apartment, at how dark and empty it's become as night has fallen. When I moved in, a week after Az left, I couldn't bring myself to decorate it. Because that would mean that this is home now, and not the house Azriel and I bought together. It would mean that the beautiful victorian in the suburbs was as gone as the life we could’ve lived in it. So, six months later, boxes sit in the corners. The walls are bare, the fireplace unlit even on the coldest of nights. And every night since has been glacial. Suddenly, the loneliness is nearly suffocating. I can’t spend another night just staring at the solitary wasteland my life has become.

All of my friends are together already, and he’s there. So going out alone it is. 

I blast music as I get ready in a rush, effectively drowning out every unwanted thought. I go a little heavy on the eyeliner, hopefully concealing any evidence of tears. I slip into my newest dress, gifted to me by Feyre on my birthday. It's the perfect balance of elegant and sexy. A lovely slip of wine colored silk, skin tight and just the right amount of revealing. Looking at myself in the mirror, I smile for the first time all night. 

Half an hour later, I’m shooting whiskey at Rita’s, scouring the dance floor for my next conquest. Probably not the healthiest coping mechanism, but I digress. The vast room is dark, the only lights being flashing rainbows of color timed to the music. Thick smoke snakes around the dancers, thanks to a mixture of incense and hidden fog machines. The scent of patchouli, sweat, and alcohol tickles my nose. Peculiarly enough, it's not a bad combination. 

As I’m scanning the crowd, nursing a glass of scotch, a pair of unusual green eyes catch my gaze. He’s easily six feet tall, dark haired, and moderately handsome. He’s sitting with his friends, but no longer paying attention to the conversation. Instead, his eyes are shamelessly undressing me, lingering on my exposed legs. When he eventually meets my eyes again, I give him a slow, inviting smile. It only takes him a few moments to cross the bar, and sit on the stool beside mine. 

“What’s a beautiful woman like you doing alone on a saturday night?” 

I barely restrain an eye roll at his creative opening line. Instead, I lean closer and give him an obvious lookover. He’s definitely fit, his tight black shirt revealing a broad chest and toned abdomen. But I can’t help but note the lack of tattoos and scars. Once I’m done comparing him to Azriel, I meet his eager eyes again. 

“I’m not exactly alone now, am I?” 

The man smirks, and places a hand on my thigh. 

The next morning, I hurry my house guest out the door as soon as he wakes up. He tries to get my number, but I carefully maneuver my way out of that one. The sex was good, but not that good. 

I shower and dress, then scarf down a quick breakfast. As I’m drinking my second cup of coffee, I finally look around at my sad excuse of an apartment. It's not that the actual space isn’t nice. The hardwood floors are new and shiny looking, the walls a neutral gray, the countertops a gleaming marble. But like last night, it's overwhelmingly empty. 

I take a deep breath and decide today is the day. Hesitantly, I walk to the closest box and start cutting away the packing tape. Each stroke of the scissors is like another nail in the coffin of my old life. I ignore the tears that burn in my eyes and keep cutting. With my heart racing and eyes closed, I reach my hand in and grab the first object I touch. I take three deep breaths in an effort to center myself, and look down at what’s in my hand. 

“Oh for fucks sake.” I exclaim, my heart squeezing painfully. 

The cellophane wrapped bundle of blank wedding invitations glimmers in the morning sunlight, like the fangs of a poisonous snake. Beautiful, but deadly. With a cry, I hurl the invitations across the room. They land with a satisfying thunk against the far wall. I plop down next to the box, letting my head fall into my hands. The wound in my chest is raw and throbbing, an ever present pain. 

Of course it had to be the wedding invitations. It couldn’t be something easy, like a throw pillow or a bunch of CD’s. 

I lean my head back against the wall, and let my eyes fall closed. Would this ever stop hurting? Would there come a day where I wake up, and I don’t reach for him? 

 I’m staring at the box like the dangerous, wicked thing it is when a knock at the door rescues me from my own pity party. 

“Thank fuck.” I mutter to myself, eagerly jumping to my feet and practically running to the door. Nesta had said she’d be coming over today, and I thank my lucky stars at her timing. At least this way, I won’t have to unpack my old life alone. Nesta will help me. I’ll cry, she’ll make me laugh, and we’ll get drunk. Very drunk, knowing us. Maybe we’ll call Elain and Feyre. They’ll spend the night, and tomorrow will be easier. I’ll start looking at apartments in San Diego. As I’m opening the door, I take my first easy breath in days. 

“Thank god, Nes I need-” 

But it isn’t Nesta on the other side of the door. It's Azriel. 

“Hey, Lora. Can I come in?”

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

WBL fic - Pink; complete; chapters 1-7

I put up all the last 5 chapters to this today at once on AO3, so I’ll just post the entire fic here, too.

It’s quite dear to my heart, and went beyong the first exploration of the funny idea of those seductive underpants. A story about firsts, and love, and growing, about Shu Yi and Shi De and my take on them. With explicit parts, and banter, sensuality, and feels. Enjoy. Happy Valentine’s.

Chapter 1           

“I am wearing seductive underpants.”

Gao Shi De stops, and looks up at him like Shu Yi just spoke another new language altogether.

They had been an impulse buy. A linked photo in that search, that’d taken Shu Yi to some independent fashion store’s site.

 He'd clicked on the buy button before he could reconsider.

 Yes, he should probably have done some more research on the shop. But there was the matter of his sanity that made him x out of that picture gallery rather quickly.

 Not much would be lost, he figured. Whether they arrived, or got lost in the mail, that would be that.

 They arrived the next day.

 Once Shu Yi freed them from their candy-colored packaging, they did look almost like speedos, even more so than in the preview photos online. Yet, if they actually were designed to be bathing shorts, the material felt a bit flimsy for that.

 They also turned out to have a light metallic sheen to them, and Shu Yi was rather glad he at least had been of enough mind to choose the grey mélange one, and not the neon pink they’d also had available.

 The short strings did have that pink color though.

The last thirty minutes have been spent kissing on the couch. The last ten of them shirtless, and it has been a revelation. There’s hums and smiles as they switch being next to and half on top of each other, and it’s a miracle none of them has fallen off to the floor yet, down where their textbooks are once more, with all the movement of Shu Yi constantly trying to pull Shi De closer.

Because that’s what he has been doing. Passion and want and urgency have brought Shu Yi close to vibrating out of his skin, so much he thinks he must be setting off sparks.

And still Shi De’s hands and hips hover. Don't touch everywhere that Shu Yi wants them to.

And it’s going so much slower than Shu Yi thought possible for a pair of healthy guys of 21 – not that there are any set rules to this, but he is kind of using himself and the pacing of his pulse as a reference here.

Turns out the material is also a tiny bit itchy at the seams.

Shi De seems to leave every next step to Shu Yi, and of course Shu Yi is happy to guide, to get to seduce Shi De to melt into his arms and kisses like that, it is the sweetest victory in itself. He could spend hours on this alone.

But how can Shi De be so calm, if that’s even the word, after wanting this for years? He does want this, too, after all, right?

Before he can linger on that thought, Shu Yi decides to risk it. To deliver a push into the direction he wants this to go. To see if he’ll get a clearer reaction, one that he can make something of.

"I am wearing seductive underpants.”

Gao Shi De stops, and looks up at him like Shu Yi just spoke another new language altogether.

Shu Yi watches him blink, eyes big with that doe-in-headlights look, frozen in his posture above Shu Yi, hovering again – and Shu Yi is suddenly glad he didn’t put that pink string into a bow, like on a present. The thought was there. He chose a loose knot instead.

Then Shi De finds his voice, even if it does not catch on the first syllable. “Oh? I… I have nothing special prepared for you, though…”

Even though he feels the rasp of it in his bones, Shu Yi can’t really tell if it’s meant in dry humor or a taunt or if those wide eyes actually hide something else. So he slaps Shi De’s shoulder for good measure anyway, with more bravado than he owns right now.

“Never mind. Want to see?” And he knows it’s probably a bit mean that he doesn’t even wait for an answer, just shuffles out a bit from under Shi De, pushing then working his pants down his legs, then lying back with a dare in his eyes. A dare that is as much for himself as it is for Shi De.

Shu Yi's well aware that he has given an open invitation to stare, yet he didn’t think it would feel like that. He never thought of himself as self-conscious, but this? This is... nerve wrecking. Because his body is definitely reacting. And that fabric won’t hide any of that. And because Shi De just keeps looking, mouth hanging open a bit. Not moving.

Then, again with the voice that catches only on the second try:

“Those. Those are...”

Shu Yi feels a shiver shake over him, reaching like held down laughter into his voice:

“Oh, I know. But they got you looking, right?”

Shi De’s glance up at him then is sharp, caught, captivated.

“But. You didn’t have to do that. To get me to look, I mean.” His tone is closer to their natural rhythm again. Rough with teasing and something more behind it.

“Hmmm.” Shu Yi gives it back just the same, with a shrug.  

He reaches out and strokes a strand of hair out of Shi De’s forehead, then continues the caress down the contour of his face.

“Want to do more than look?” He watches Shi De swallow.

“You can, you know. If you want.” Those words do something. Crack something.

And Shu Yi sees it.

How the arms Shi De holds himself up on are shivering with the strain. Or with something else.

He instinctively understands it then.

What he will understand even more some days later, after he finds that drawing.

What he will understand in a few minutes, when Shi De collapses agaist him, with that flimsy fabric pushed aside and stained dark with sweat between them:

That Shi De is everything else but calm.

That you have to be gentle and careful with a dam built to keep years of wanting in check.

That this is what the shiver means. And the hovering.

Shu Yi instinctively understands it then.

And he keeps pulling Shi De closer, until they come together.

   Chapter 2 : So?                        

This is gonna get explicit. Sweet and fun and awkward - like firsts and sex go and should go - again too, but first explicit.

Shi De’s POV.

          “Want to do more than look?”

Shi De’s ears pulse with heat, a tangible sensation of pressure along his temples.

Everything feels like brimming over: His head, his heart, yet his mind can’t seem to grasp one coherent thought out of it all.

His senses are shouting, worked to capacity with Shu Yi’s nearness, his body’s warmth, his wash lotion's scent, and that visual, that visual.  Through it all Shu Yi’s soft voice and fingers gently combing the hair on Shi De’s nape register only at a distance.

“You can, you know. If you want.”

That glaring, beautiful, irrevocably imprinted visual.

Shu Yi’s splayed himself out like this next to Shi De's side, allowed and told Shi De to look. And now the caress at his neck is so careful and full of care, and Shi De’s mind can’t follow, and his wrist and elbows want to give out under him.

How is he supposed to hold it all in?

Can I?

His head sinks to Shu Yi’s chest, leaning his forehead onto him, for a sense of support. He places a kiss there. Stays like this, and watches his own hand fall to Shu Yi’s thigh next to him.

Then up, in one continuous move, that almost masks its shaking. Until his palm molds itself to Shu Yi; the keenest touch.

Shu Yi’s reaction is instant: The drawn-out sound he makes, his leg muscle jumping, the tightening in of his stomach; fingers curl into Shi De’s shoulder, and he’s harder underneath Shi De’s stroke in seconds.

Why did I think the fabric would be cool to the touch?

It’s burning Shi De’s skin. It leaves him dizzy, and aching against the zipper of his own jeans.

He wants to absorb every detail, commit it to memory, every curve he sees, every ridge pressing back against his hand even though Shu Yi’s hips stay down, still, tight and trembling; but there’s this roar in his ears, and the heat that his body can’t seem to contain.  

Shu Yi’s responses buzz back at and all over him, making him up, pushing him on.

His eyes follow his hand advancing up the lightly shimmering material, until he reaches the dark stained spot at the tip, and he pushes the fabric to the side. Listens to Shu Yi’s breath stumble, and gathers the wetness with his finger.

So that the caress back down slides on smooth skin, until it so softly catches. Shi De blinks, a delayed fade to black, and back, like a restart for his world.

Shu Yi is saying his name, his nails are at Shi De’s back, pulling closer, and Shi De feels like toppling over. Shu Yi is so hard, so hot under Shi De’s hand, a driving pulse, the most tender skin.

He has to swallow, once, twice, pressing wet kisses to Shu Yi’s torso where his cheek still rests; to keep his mouth busy, distracted, to not rush forward too much.

It’s fast.

When Shu Yi comes, it starts below the heel of Shi De’s hand; spurts and shock of warmth between his fingers. Shu Yi’s low shout stands out through the drum in Shi De’s ears, and as he curls in on himself a bit, it carries tremors to Shi De’s very foundations.

If it’s intentional or not, the bend of Shu Yi’s thigh comes up flush against Shi De’s front and there. And it’s enough.

With everything raining down on him, on his senses, his body, his heart, it’s enough.

---

Shu Yi’s hands are everywhere, holding on to Shi De, soft scattered strokes and grazes; lingering, assuring, making sure.

A fleeting pang of guilt gains on Shi De out of somewhere deep:

Just why did I never think he would be gentle and affectionate like this?

Shi De was ready - and not - for the jabs and pokes and shoves to his shoulders, his arms, his chest. But then this: Inside Shu Yi’s hugs, the warmest thing.

Whenever he puts his face to the crook of Shi De’s neck, and his lips move, and stay. It makes Shi De’s heart ache. And he’s almost scared of getting used to it.

Now Shu Yi’s hands are everywhere and pulling closer, pulling Shi De in, by the bend of fingers alone, and Shu Yi is humming, body and voice:

“Mm. Why are you still wearing clothes? I want to, want to… “

Shi De catches Shu Yi’s fingers at the waistline of his jeans, covers them with his own, trying to find his breath over the sudden renewed heat in his neck.

“I… I kind of already…”

“So? Then let’s wait ten minutes, and let me make you come again.”

That face so close to his; so indignant and sweet it's Shi De’s undoing.

Stunned laughter breaks out of him, and he lets it happen, too overwhelmed to hold it in.

Shu Yi’s smile turns content, and he pats Shi De’s hair through its aftershocks, like if for once he decided not to take offence.

Instead, Shi De finds his neck being kissed:

“But… let’s move to the bed for that, yeah?”

Shi De swallows, clears his throat, addressing what Shu Yi might be thinking:

“She’s at a friend’s birthday party. 'Till midnight the earliest. She promised.”

Shu Yi pulls a face:

“Hmm. I know. You said. But it still would be more comfortable than here.”

Shu Yi gets up first. Righting his stained underwear with a soft grimace.

How can he look pretty even doing that?

And it does rather look like swimwear, Shi De thinks. He has seen Shu Yi in swim shorts before. Yet he has never seen him like that.

Shu Yi seems unbothered, picking up clothes and putting them over his arm, then goes for the books.

“Plan to study?” Shi De’s own voice sounds dry to himself, not fully cooperating.

“Haha.” Shu Yi throws him a look, eyes narrowed: “I’m still gonna beat you in this exam, though.”

His nose scrunches up, and he keeps talking under his breath, as if more to himself than anyone else: “If I don’t get to study, at least I’ll make sure you don’t get to neither…” He giggles over his own antics, and Shi De’s heart hurts again.

Good to know he gets a bit high and stupid in his brain after orgasm, too.

Shi De collects the rest of their clothes off of the floor, puts the pillows back on the couch and opens a window. Shu Yi follows him barefoot to his room.  

It’s starting to get dark outside, but Shi De doesn’t turn on a light. He puts their clothes over a chair.

He hears a flopping sound behind him and turns to Shu Yi sitting down on the bed; hands back wide, head tilted, pale skin still wet and shiny in places.

The instant throb in his groin reminds Shi De of the uncomfortable wetness in his own pants. He coughs, brain struggling to find something to distract from the blush he’s sure must be showing on his ears and chest.

“I think those pink strings might even be visible in the dark.” He tries to make it sound condescending.

Shu Yi’s smug smile derails everything:

“Good. Then you’ll find your way even in the dark.”

There’s no breath in his lungs, so Shi De blows it out through his teeth:

“Tsss. I… gotta… bathroom.”

“Yeah.” Shu Yi grins down at the sheets, feeling the cover beneath his fingers, and Shi De hurries to turn away.

“Oh, and Gao Shi De? Leave them off.”

The command hits him from the side. He raises his brows.

“The jeans, I mean.” It’s softer, with a smile half sweet half mischief.

“Tsss.”

Who even needs air.

Shi De makes for the bathroom, with a small detour for the sideboard drawer, getting a fresh pair of briefs. He doesn’t suppose he can really be sneaky about it, but he does it as quick as possible, grabbing the topmost pair blindly.

“Did you make sure they’re the seductive ones? Gao Shi De!”

He doesn’t turn this time, to keep the stupid grin on his own face hidden.

The soft bright laughter behind him is the best thing he’ll ever hear.

Chapter 3: Want                         

POV: Shi De

                    When he walks back into the room, Shi De tries not to think too hard about what to do with his empty hands.

Yet, Shu Yi seems distracted by his phone for the moment anyway.

The jeans were left in the laundry basket.

“Do you want something to drink? Hungry?”

Shu Yi shakes his head from where he sits at the headboard of Shi De’s bed, face illuminated by his phone’s screen light, naked legs pushed under the covers up to the knees.

“Mhm.” He puts the phone down on the nightstand and holds out a hand to Shi De: “I want you to come here. Why are you so far away?

“I’m not.” When Shi De’s knees touch the bed, the sheet is cool against his skin.

Shu Yi opens his arms for Shi De to come into.

It’s a bit of shuffling back and forth, until Shi De is leaning against him at the headboard, one arm around Shu Yi’s waist, having worked its way between the pillows and his back.

Shu Yi’s chin is rubbing against Shi De’s hair; then he stops: “Do you want something to drink or eat?”

Shi De huffs out a laugh, shakes his head on Shu Yi’s shoulder, then squints up at his skewed profile:” It is my house. I mean, I am capable of just getting something if I wanted, you know.”

“Yeah.” Shu Yi looks like he is thinking that over, and Shi De wonders what’s complicated about the concept, for him to be pursing his lips in thought like that; like he wants to say something, but doesn’t know where to begin.

Shi De watches the muscle in Shu Yi’s jaw shift as he swallows.

Then the mattress bounces when Shu Yi turns to him with a start and a quick grin; followed by some rough handling and prodding and scooting them lower, until they lie side to side facing each other.

“Gao Shi Deee.” He drags out the last syllable, and Shi De can’t help but look down to the lips shaping that sound.

“What?”

“I want to touch you some more.” That gravelly pout in his voice stirs tingles all over Shi De’s spine.

“Who says you can’t?”

Shu Yi’s smile turns wide, pacified and happy.

He puts his chin on Shi De’s shoulder, spreading his fingers; brushing them over Shi De’s chest, his collar bones, so freely that Shi De’s lashes almost flutter closed with the lightness of these touches.

They're bringing up something to the surface, that Shi De doesn’t know what to name exactly. When he meets Shu Yi’s eyes, something in their depths suggests he knows.

But how could he, if Shi De doesn’t.

Those fingers make their way up on his neck, holding Shi De’s face by the caress of them; and Shu Yi kisses him.

So sure and full of intention. An intention that is fuzzy for Shi De, that he can’t fully see, the extent of it; but it’s there in the kiss, begging to be swallowed.

It's the kind of kiss between them where Shi De can’t do nothing but hold on, unmoored and floating and out of his depths;

because although he’s giving his mouth to Shu Yi to be kissed, it feels like nothing is taken.

But instead he is given something he doesn’t quite know how to handle yet.

It's gently pushed into him, fed to him with tongue and lips.

There’s so much to feel, and Shi De can barely hold himself there, letting it wash over him.

When he opens his eyes, he has been too lost in it for a while to realize Shu Yi has stopped.

Once he finds focus, meets Shu Yi’s waiting gaze, there’s the echo of a smile on the face so close before him.

Then Shu Yi is on top of him.

Straddles him, hair falling into his face, over those dark eyes. All Shi De can think is:

 Please, take from me. Anything you want.

Chapter 4 : How about this?                       

Shu Yi's POV

             “Can I do that?”  

Shu Yi brings their hips together. One of his knees finds careful room between Shi De's legs, the other one stays at his side.

Warmth and weight and two layers of fabric, and he just rests where he comes down; it's still burning up his spine.

“I… I sure won’t stop you.” It’s breathless and frayed at the edges.

“But do you want it?” Shu Yi hears it fall from his lips before he knows how much he really wants to ask.

He watches the shades and shadows shift inside Shi De’s eyes at the question, surprised and puzzled.

A nod is received in answer.

Shu Yi’s heart stops, restarts. He holds his upper body up on his arms, but leans down for a quick nudge of his nose against Shi De's cheek:

“I am curious.“

“About?”

“What you like.”

Shi De looks up at him like he can’t believe him, and also: like he’s thinking hard.

“Well. You. Mostly. “

“Ha. Okay.” It’s a snort, but one through a smile. Shi De's skin looks blue-tinged in the low light, and Shu Yi wants to taste it, wants to know if it tastes of the ocean.

Yet, Shu Yi keeps staring, holding himself up, waiting, for an addition that doesn’t seem to be coming.

A flare up of resolution runs along his frame, then, and the only warning he gives to Shi De is the twitch of a smile:

“Well do you like this?”  He leans in and kisses the skin underneath Shi De’s jaw, below the ear, where it meets his neck.

Salty. Ever so slightly.

Shi De blinks up at him, transfixed.

Shu Yi makes his voices even softer: “Mhm. Do you like it here?”

He puts his lips to the side of Shi De’s neck, down where it leads to his chest. He feels the muscle trembling below his exploration.

Shi De's body is toned, muscles clean cut in places, yet smooth to the touch. It makes Shu Yi want to press down on them, measure himself against their give. The thought shoots a flare of heat up his spine.

“How about…” Shu Yi tilts his face to the side, pressing his open mouth around the curve of Shi De’s biceps, just enough that teeth can be felt.

All the while trying, keeping his hips gently settled, a pressure of just there, reminder of held anticipation, a sense of shape.

The long-drawn sound from Shi De’s breath could be his name.

And Shu Yi thinks he can start to feel a prickle of sparks, like electicity, crawling over back onto him; inside the vibrations of Shi De's voice, and the thin sheen of sweat between them.

He gives them back, turns them onto Shi De's chest, and when his teeth catch slightly on a nipple, Shi De makes that noise, that is sharp breath out, almost like a hiss of pain.

Shu Yi quickly pulls back, soothes it with a blunt peck of gentle lips: “Sorry.”

Shi De’s fingers on his shoulder curl in on him, and it makes Shu Yi meet his face, so close to his own.

Shi De just looks at him.

“Not… sorry? Okay.”

Shu Yi bends his head down again, and tries it on the other nipple, and Shi De’s grip on his nape just gets tighter.

And Shi De is so beautiful under him. Every curve and angle, by just being his, reaching out to Shu Yi, pulling him in.

The notion and knowledge hits Shu Yi, so completely that he can’t remember a time where he wouldn’t think like this. Maybe he didn't, ever.

His fingers push into the waistband of Shi De’s boxer briefs:

“How… how about losing those?”

He feels Shi De nod yes against his shoulder.

When skin meets skin, there is friction, inside a careful rhythm, without lube, just precum. Shu Yi stays on top, but they are both moving. Full of trembling concentration, but wholly swept up in it.

Little movements, of them against each other, aligned; of pressure, a rolling of hips, a whole body thing.

The rasp of Shi De’s breath is so alluring in Shu Yi’s ears, trickling over sucked in stomachs and tight muscles; their chests touching, with hard nipples dragging over each other.

Hearing Shi De's deep voice directly from his throat, face so close, that Shu Yi can feel its makings, vibrations, all those breathy hums and gasps. It’s overwhelming, and mesmerizing to Shu Yi, and almost too much.

There’s a point where he must rely on instincts and muscle memory alone, because it all just wants to pull and bury him under.

It’s the point, where Shi De doesn’t seem to know where to turn his head, moving left and right and then:

“Kiss me.”

Shu Yi is desperate and delighted with the request, down to his very core.

And it seems that only then, safe inside that kiss, with their faces against each other, teeth against teeth, that Shi De can let go; dragging Shu Yi along with him.

Chapter 5 : Late                        

Shi De's POV.

                 “Gao Shi De… are you sleeping already?”

Shi De doesn’t clear his throat, just uses his voice anyway, cracked and low as he knows it will come out:

“I am used to early classes; I usually don’t go to sleep late.”

“It’s not that late, though.” That’s definitely a pout he hears.

They have been drifting. Heard the door earlier, when his mom came home. She was quiet, and must have gone to bed directly, because it’s been silent for over ten minutes.  

Warm kisses are scattered haphazardly along Shi De’s chest.

He takes in a deep slow breath:

“Mhm. Maybe I am already asleep and dreaming this.” It comes out even dryer than he thought.

There’s a bout of huffed out breath onto his dampened skin:

“Oh, yeah. Well, would you be dreaming this?”

Shu Yi setts his lips down again, and actually blows a raspberry at the center of Shi De’s sternum.

“You…Zhou Shu Yi.”

Shi De tries and puts all the wordless offence he can muster into his face, even though it’s probably too dark to see anyway.

Shu Yi laughs softly, disarming all protests with the sweet and carefree sound.

Then he just brings his mouth down again, to Shi De’s stomach this time, even if only in a lingering, heat conducting kiss.

Lower then, pulling the sheets off and to the side.

Shi De’s heart skips some beats, stumbles.

“Shu Yi, you don’t have to…”

The look Shu Yi gives him, up close to his face again then, is complicated, and makes Shi De's skin feel flushed all along his neck:

“Gao Shi De. Do you still not believe I want this? You were present those last few hours, right?"

Shu Yi taps his index finger above Shi De's collar bone, right along with his words:

"And also, you said it yourself, I wouldn't do anything I don’t want to. “

Shi De’s tongue is heavy and awkward in his mouth. “I’m not saying that, it’s just…just...”

We don't have to do everything tonight.

He kows Shu Yi must be thinking of America, and Shi De gone, soon.

But I will be back. We'll have the rest of our lives together, if it's up to me.

Shi De can't know how much of it he manages put onto his face and lopsided smile, how much of it Shu Yi will be able to hear, even though Shi De is thinking it back at him, hard.

Shu Yi's eyes are on him, waiting and piercing right through Shi De. Shi De thinks he sees an almost imperceptible nod.

And then:

“So. Can I blow you?”

It's a riot in Shi De's heart.

And nothing, nothing left in his mind.

Shu Yi places the softest kiss onto the side of Shi De's jawline.

“I want to see you. And use my mouth on you.”

It's whispered and for a moment Shi De can't be sure it has been said at all.

He feels Shu Yi’s hand, gentle around his cheek.

Then Shi De is kissed.

His mouth nudged open by Shu Yi's, slow, broken out of that rhythm that they so naturally want to fall into;

he's brought to a moment of stillness, by command of Shu Yi's breath alone.

By the tilt of his chin and the pad of his thumb, carefully, on Shi De's Adam’s apple.

Then Shu Yi seals his mouth to him.

Wide open, and languidly teasing. Licking inside, until Shi De hears himself moan.

He is sure Shu Yi can feel him shake, everywhere their bodies touch.

“Does that mean yes?”

Shi De can only nod.

                 Chapter 6: Epilogue                        

Shu Yi' POV.

“Gao Shi Deeeee… Still sleeping?”

Shu Yi watches Shi De jump slightly at his voice, then his eyes drift closed again almost immediately. He lets out that breath through the subtle stretch of his body:

“Yeah.” The notes he uses as pillow crinkle below his head.

Shu Yi props himself up on his elbow next to him, holding his phone; and smiling, because how can he not:

“Tired?”

He keeps the phone directed at Shi De’s face, but his eyes can’t help but drop down, to that strip of exposed skin above his jeans. It brings flashbacks of night-tinged touches and tingles along Shu Yi’s lips and tongue.

“It’s all your fault.”

Shu Yi laughs, not much more than a gush of air. His fingers want to caress that patch of skin. So he reaches out, does.

Shi De’s muscles twitch slightly, as if ticklish, and his arm comes there to pull his sweater down, even if the fabric slips up instantly again.

The movement of his hands is sluggish, and so endearing. He’s half-asleep again already, and Shu Yi is entrusted with this.

“Alright, take a break.”

They’ve had a late morning and breakfast, and since it’s Saturday, took up studying again.  With maybe only half a mind to it, but still the best intentions.

Shu Yi turns off his recording.

But he keeps watching Shi De:

The relaxed features of his face. His slack mouth. The soft rising and sinking of his chest. His throat when he swallows, with those almost inaudible, tender sounds.

Then Shu Yi decides to bury his face against the blue ocean of Shi De’s sweater.

And just listens to him breathe for a while.

Gao Shi De. Be mine like this, always.

       Chapter 7: Bonus chapter                      

Shu Yi's POV

                  Seven years later.

It is not something for every night, for them, this.

But when it happens, all through the next day, Shu Yi’s knees will be weak with that sated, deep seated happiness. Shi De once told him with a smile, it is the same for him.

So Shu Yi will make sure to put all of his heart and effort and care into it, especially when he is the one who gets to make Shi De fall apart around and underneath him. When the question: What do you want tonight? gets a clear answer: You. Inside me.

Sometimes it’ll happen when Shu Yi brings out the seductive underwear. Not the first pair he bought; he threw that one out in an impulse after one year. He got a new one, later, once he found the shop still sold that model. He chose the all over neon pink one, though. If for punishment or a statement, well who’s to say.

So sometimes it’ll happen that Shu Yi will get Shi De right there and under him, Shi De's hands closing and opening, around the sheet or nothing, without thought or agenda, just a notion of mindless grip while allowing himself to fall.

Shi De’s eyes will be closed, his mouth open, letting himself chase that feeling, when Shu Yi hits that spot. Trusting Shu Yi to take him there.

And he will; using that same angle, that slowness, to meet as many of those sweet triggers as he can, until gasps and hums and the sound of his name tumble from Shi De’s throat at every careful thrust.

Sometimes Shu Yi will turn him over, and - face pressed into mattress – have him concentrate on nothing but his own bliss; kissing and biting his shoulders and neck, reminding him that he is there, and that this is because of him.

Today, though, he really wants to see Shi De’s face.

It’s their first anniversary as husbands after all.

So, sometimes, like today, it will happen that he has Shi De locked inside his embrace, not moving much at all;

with short but relentless strokes pressing into that one spot of almost too much, too good.

With Shi De’s brows drawn together and wetness collecting at the corners of his eyes;

until his breath shakes out of him.

And Shu Yi will tell him I love you all through it.

To make him come like this, it is the greatest gift and privilege.

                     Notes:        

Because I don’t think Shi De’s metaphorical dam will break before the sequel. But when it has, it might just look something like this <3 Happy Valentine’s Day.

I've put the last 5 chapters up at once for Valentine's Day, but of course I'll always love to hear what you think, on each of them, on all of this, on Shi De and Shu Yi.

  If you liked it, please consider a reblog to share the love. I always love to hear from you , about thi, about them, about what it makes you feel.<3           

[fanficshiddles]

This wasn’t part of the plan, Chapter 10

Tom marched Melody down the corridor, a firm hand on the back of her neck.

As they were walking, one of the classroom doors opened. Tom quickly dropped his hand and smiled innocently with a nod of his head when a fellow teacher emerged.

When they arrived at his office, he opened the door and put his hand to her lower back, guiding her in. As soon as she stepped into his room, she felt like she had just entered the lion’s den.

‘Sit down, Melody.’ He said, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

She reluctantly sat down, and Tom instead of sitting at the other side of the desk on his chair, he moved right on front of her and perched on the desk with his arms folded over his chest. He was far too close for her liking.

‘Why are you avoiding me?’ He asked.

She refused to look up at him, just concentrated on her hands in her lap, fiddling with the bottom of her jacket. ‘I’m not avoiding you, Sir, I’ve just been busy.’ She said quietly.

‘Look at me when I am speaking to you, Melody.’ He said firmly.

Her skittish eyes shot up to land on his, she was a little surprised to see that he didn’t look all that angry. Just a little pissed off, and was that also slight disappointment, too?

‘You’ve not returned my calls. And you have most definitely been avoiding me during class. Why? I thought things were going well between us. Did I do something to upset you?’ His tone was slightly softer than it had been previously.

‘No, you’ve not done anything… I just, I’m really struggling to come to grips with you being Mr Hiddleston and you being Tom, too. It’s just freaking me out a bit, after a good weekend and then coming back to you as my teacher. I’m struggling.’ She blurted out quickly, hoping honesty was the best way.

Especially when you’re being an ass in the classroom. She wanted to add, but thought better of it.

Tom’s frown softened majorly upon her confession. He rubbed his temples momentarily then reached out and gently gripped her chin. ‘I am still the same person. The only thing is that I am your teacher, that hasn’t changed and won’t change. I will not have favourites in class, I am treating you the same as everyone else.’

‘I know… I know that, but… you’re not the warmest of teachers, if I may be so bold.’ She gulped, hoping she wasn’t over stepping the line.

Tom chuckled, to her relief. ‘I know. But aside from with you, I am not supposed to be making friends with my pupils. I am supposed to be an authority figure, giving you all the best education that I can possibly give.’ He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest again.

Melody was briefly distracted with the way his biceps were almost bulging out of his shirt.

‘Besides, we do not want anyone getting suspicious. Do we?’

She shook her head. ‘No, we don’t. I’m sorry, it’s just taking me a little longer to get accustomed than I thought.’

Tom stood up and walked over to the sofa, he sat down and patted the space next to him. ��Come here, baby girl.’ He said firmly but also in a comforting tone.

Melody felt her stomach flip at his nickname for her. She wasn’t feeling quite as nervous as she had been at first, so she didn’t hesitate and went to sit next to him.

He surprised her when he put his arm around her and pulled her in against his side. He was warm and comfortable to snuggle against, she slipped her arm around him too. Tom rubbed her shoulder and rested his chin on top of her head.

‘If you’re feeling nervous or antsy, I want you to come to me. Not avoid me. What I am while we are here, is not what I am in private with you. It’s separate, I need to keep being your teacher. Unless it would make you feel better if I got you into another English class?’ He suggested, though he didn’t want that.

‘No, I… I will get used to it. Eventually. You’re a good teacher, I don’t want to change classes.’ She said quietly.

‘Glad to hear it. You’re just going to need to behave impeccably while in my class.’ He chuckled and squeezed her upper arm.

‘Are you free tonight?’ Melody asked, looking up at him.

‘I am. What do you have in mind?’ Tom smiled, glad she was the one suggesting something.

‘I don’t know… I could cook dinner, if you want?’

‘That would be lovely.’ Tom nodded, he gripped her chin and turned her head towards him so he could kiss her softly on the lips, making her heart flutter.

-

Melody was feeling a little bit better after their talk in Tom’s office. She was just going to have to try and separate Tom from Mr Hiddleston. Though she knew that would be easier said than done, but she was going to try. She hoped it would maybe get easier as time went on, the more time she spent with Tom the easier it should get.

She was a bit anxious while she cooked dinner, hoping it would go well and that Tom would like it. She wasn’t sure where the need to please him had come from, but there was certainly something brewing inside her.

A knock on the door made her jump, but she snapped out of it and rushed to unlock the door. It was Tom, as expected. He had brought a bottle of wine with him.

‘Wine, on a school night?’ Melody grinned.

‘Just a little won’t do any harm.’ He winked at her.

Melody was relieved that Tom seemed to enjoy dinner. She wasn’t used to cooking for other people. Just for herself usually. And even then she barely cooked from scratch, since it was mainly quick oven or microwave meals she used to have.

They found themselves on the sofa after dinner, having a glass of wine each.

‘Do you still find me scary?’ Tom asked, stroking her hair back from her face.

‘Mmm… A little.’ She blushed and attempted to hide behind her wine glass.

Tom raised an eyebrow and promptly plucked the wine glass from her hands and placed it on the coffee table on front of them. He sat back and patted his thigh. ‘Come here.’

She looked at him as if he had just asked her to give him a strip tease. Which for Tom, wasn’t such a bad idea. But he knew she would run for the hills if he asked for that.

‘Come here, Melody.’ He said in a firmer tone.

She swallowed hard and moved over towards him. He slid an arm around her and pulled her onto his lap, then positioned her how he wanted her. With her back flush against his front. He reached around and pushed her legs apart so they were at either side of his.

‘What are…’ She trailed off when his hands started wandering over her, especially under her skirt and up her thighs.

‘Relax.’ He purred into her ear then kissed her neck just below her earlobe. ‘Put your hands up behind my neck.’

She did as she was told, feeling pretty vulnerable again in that position. It forced her chest out more.

He cupped her through her knickers, making her gasp. She could still feel the heat and power from his hand, even with the layer of fabric between them.

Melody closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, relaxing more against him as he started rubbing her. He nuzzled against her neck. ‘Good girl.’ His free hand became busy as he slid into her top and bra to start gently squeezing her breasts.

Her eyes flew open again though when Tom moved his hand so he could delve into her knickers, explore her more with his long fingers. When he brushed across her clit, she gasped and her body jerked.

‘So sensitive.’ He chuckled low and kissed her neck again.

His thumb started to concentrate more on her nipples, constantly alternating between them both. He did the same action with her clit, his thumb rubbing firmly over the little nub. Her squirming was becoming stronger and she was running her fingers through his hair now, feeling a bit braver. Or losing herself in the pleasure.

Melody was so close to cumming as soon as Tom slipped two fingers into her tight warmth to wriggle them around. His thumb still planted firmly on her clit.

‘That’s it, you are going to cum for me, baby girl. Cum for Daddy.’ He growled and nibbled on her shoulder.

Melody was a bit startled at what he said. But she wasn’t sure if it was that or from what he was doing that sent her over the edge. But whatever the reason was, it felt incredible.

Tom was pleased with himself when she moaned and writhed in pleasure on his lap. It felt good having her wriggling about on him, rubbing against his cock that was hard in its confinements. He slowly eased off on his fingering and when he pulled out, a rush of her arousal came too and made a mess all over his trousers.

‘How about we take this to the bedroom, baby girl?’ He whispered, nuzzling behind her ear.

Melody nodded, she wasn’t quite able to form words yet. Her mind was still reeling from the orgasm.

Tom stood up and scooped her into his arms at the same time. He carried her through to her bedroom and placed her gently down on her bed. After making short work of removing her clothes, he grinned and winked at her while he took off his own. Melody’s eyes widened and she bit her lower lip when she saw that he had gone commando.

He crawled onto the bed and her legs fell open naturally for him. He positioned himself between her and took hold of his cock, lining himself up with her. He’d already worked her up nicely, so he thrust right in with ease.

The two started moaning together straight away. Tom leaned down over her more, pressing his body against her. He enjoyed feeling her hard nipples pressing into his chest as she wrapped her arms around him.

He placed his forearms at either side of her head on the bed, trapping her in and anchoring himself as he started to move. His pace was deep and fast, bottoming out with every thrust. Melody started arching up and meeting each one. That was, until, every so often he would stop and grind against her deeply, hitting all the right spots.

Tom pressed his lips to hers and they kissed sloppily while lost in their passion together. Melody couldn’t get over how good he felt inside her. She kept clenching around him deliciously, making him falter with his rhythm.

When she quickly came for the second time, it was around his cock that made her orgasm sooo much stronger. And Tom came too with a loud grunt, spurting deep inside her and coating her inner walls. He latched onto her lips again until he finished twitching and slowly pulled out of her. She could feel his sperm dribbling out and down all over her thighs.

She was in a complete daze, even when he moved to lie down on his side next to her and pulled her with him, keeping her close, she still couldn’t quite think straight.

Tom trailed his fingers up and down her bare back, their breathing was rapid but it was slowly easing back to normal.

Melody’s mind then suddenly floated back to when Tom had referred to himself as Daddy. That had confused her a little. She knew that he was her sugar Daddy. But she wasn’t really sure in what way Tom had meant it.

That was something she was definitely going to ask him in the morning. Because right now, she was far too exhausted after the mind-blowing orgasms to form coherent sentences.

[nad-zeta]

Hello, if it's ok I would like to ask request on match-ups, I read some of your match-up and I love it 😊 I'm a slightly introvert person, I like to be friends with people. I like animals that are easy to take care of like dogs and cats, I eat few foods and sometimes forgot to eat when busy at work. No sense of direction and lastly, I love to draw. Thank you very much.

Hey there, love! I hope you are having a good day! Here is ya matchup, I hope I didn’t make you wait too long! And I hope you enjoy it! ^0^

So I match you with.................. Hideyoshi

The first time Hideyoshi sees you he obviously doesn’t trust you due to the nature of his job and his position as right-hand man. You are so cute and sweet, and your low key reminds him of his precious vassal, Mitsunari. Honestly, both of you have that same pure sweet, lovable aura. However, he thinks that may all just be a type of front to get close to Nobunaga, so he is on high alert whenever you are around. 

He micromanages you every chance he gets. You honestly get a little annoyed at the constant looking over your shoulder. You were determined to earn his trust by working harder than everyone there. You worked day in and day out. Honestly, the warlords had never seen the castle so fresh and clean before, nor had they seen anyone work so hard. You earned a lot of respect among everyone for this, well all but one. Hideyoshi was convinced that the only reason you were working so hard was to gain trust so you could spy on them. Not just that, but you never really interacted with anyone, you were so quiet. Little did he know you kept to yourself due to your introverted nature.

 It had been a week since your arrival, and honestly, you were starting to feel the effects of working so hard. You couldn’t remember the last time you ate because you were so focused on your work and getting Hideyoshi to back off. You were starting to feel a little light-headed, but you decided to push through and do one more task before retiring for the day. War counsel had just broken up, and Hideyoshi was on his way back to his manor when he saw you sweeping. You were swaying and looking like you were about to pass out. Hideyoshi sprinted to you just in time to catch you before you hit the ground. He gently held you in his arms and looked down at your face. And this was the first time he really looked at you. You were ghostly pale, you had dark rings under your eyes, your cheeks were sunken in, and you felt so frail. He cradled your head to lean on his shoulder, and bridal style carried you back to your room. He gently laid you down on the futon and called for Ieyasu to examine you to make sure you were okay. Ieyasu shook his head when he saw the state you were in, by this time you had made many a friend among the Oda forces, you even managed to build a friendship with the porcupine. “Silly girl, I told you to take it easy and look after yourself, but no one ever listens to me.” He turned to look at Hideyoshi and diagnosed you with extreme exhaustion. 

Hideyoshi felt so bad, it was him who had pushed you to that point, him who constantly looked over your shoulder, and he was to only one left that had suspected you. He felt like an utter fool. He sat beside your bed the whole night, stroking your hair, praying for you to wake up. And hoping you would forgive him for being so blind. You woke up early that morning to seeing Hideyoshi’s face mere centimeters away from yours. You were shook but too weak to move. You spent those few moments staring at his face. He was actually quite handsome when he wasn’t scowling at you. Hideyoshi woke up. You started into those honey eyes when all of a sudden, it looked like the sun had just come out. Hideyoshi gave you the brightest, warmest smile. You were now shook x2. Whaaaaat Hideyoshi can smile. Hideyoshi sat up and started apologizing for his horrible treatment of you profusely. He called for the maids to bring in the food he had made for you. And boy did the plates just keep coming. The two of you had breakfast together, and he insisted on taking you to the markets to find you an apology gift. You relented after the 5th time of declining his offer. This boy was definitely not going to take no for an answer 

The two of you had the best time together in the market. You honestly were still in shock at Hideyoshi being so kind and caring. The two of you tried different foods, drank tea, and he literally bought you everything that you freaken looked at. Even if you just spared it a small glance, he would whip out his man purse and buy it for you. You met his entire fan club and made a ton of new friends that day. All his “girlfriends” were super friendly and had invited you to tea with them. Even though you were a little shy, they made you feel right at home, gossiping with you about all the happenings of the city. Hideyoshi was super happy and proud of you for making so many friends, and he would occasionally accompany you to meet up with your mutual friends. The lot of you would drink tea and chat until sunset. You and Hideyoshi would then wave your friends goodbye and walk back to the palace together hand in hand 

Since then you and Hideyoshi actually grew closer. The first time you visited his manor, you were pleasantly surprised at the fact that he kept a little monkey as a pet. It was the sweetest little creature. And this monkey instantly fell in love with you. When she spotted you, she ran and jumped into your arms. You had always been good with animals. Hideyoshi was so happy that the two of you had become such quick friends. You and Hideyoshi played with the little money all afternoon. Hideyoshi was still so angry with himself that he had treated such a sweet kind person so horribly. Honestly, at this point, he would sneak a few gazes at your face. You really are such a beautiful person. Full of light and warmth.

Hideyoshi has to go into full brown mothering mode with you cause let’s be real your lack of sense of direction is definitely problematic. You definitely give him a few grey hairs because of it. You would find yourself lost all the time. You would start off walking to his manor and land up in the markets. This definitely causes him to hold your hand whenever the two of you go out, just to be 1000% sure you don’t get lost. Plus, it’s an excellent excuse to hold your hand, period. This boy and help but think how nicely your smaller side fits in his.

You would look after Uri the monkey whenever Hideyoshi would go of to war. In fact, it wasn’t just Hideyoshi’s pet who you would care for during times of war but all the warlord’s beloved pets. You would draw the most beautiful sketches of them and send them to the warlords. Hideyoshi absolutely loves your drawings. He secretly carried the little pictures you drew and sent to him of Uri in his pocket. He treated the drawing as the most precious piece of paper in the world, carrying it around everywhere like a lucky charm.

The two of you actually fell in love when he was away at war. Both of you sent letters back and forth, talking about anything and everything. Hide would even send you back clumsy little doodles of the oda forces just for laughs. You had heard about his “little problem,” but you didn’t mind, you knew he was loyal to Nobunaga, and you didn’t want to change him. You loved him just the way he was

When he got back you practically pounced on him. If it wasn’t clear to the other that you loved each other before, it was definitely clear now. Especially after the way you flung yourself into his arms and kissed him all over his face. You two can often be found exchanging sweet little love notes attached doodles to brighten the other day. He loves to spend time with you in his room, sipping on tea and chatting about anything and everything. This boy loves to rest his head on his lap while you gently play with his hair. He works so hard that you think it only right to provide him with these little quiet times of rest. And you absolutely love this mama bear who makes sure you have eaten enough every day and dotes on you like crazy. You love just spending time with Hideyoshi, whether it’s playing together with the lil monkey or sitting together under the shade of a tree cloud gazing. You can’t help but be madly in love with this man who had given you all his love and even his life. Looks like you and Nobunaga now have to compete for Hideyoshi’s affections and time.

Other Potential matches............. Shingen 

I hope you enjoyed it, dear! And thanx again for the request! <3

[jinmukangwrites]

Ruins (2/2)

Part one: [X]

For @linkeduniverse @jojo56830 comics!

-o-o-o-o-

The night had a bite to it and each hero were left to huddle as close to the fire as possible, seeking warmth from the flame and from each other. Time sat a ways off from the group, cold, but in the best spot to keep watch while the rest nodded off one by one. He tightened his blanket around his shoulders but also made sure he wasn't so bundled up he wouldn't be able to grab his sword if anything happened.

Silence fell like a gentle snow storm. The only noises as the moon rose higher into the sky was the cracks of the fire and the snores of Legend—he would always deny he snored, but every hero had confronted him about it at some point or another.

He watched the shadows of the forest around him like a hawk, well, like a very distracted hawk. Every so often, he'd find his gaze shifted over to the form of Twilight, who was the very reluctant pillow of Hyrule. Hyrule sometimes snuggled up to whatever was warmest and closest and was near impossible to escape from, and the unlucky victim this time was of course Twilight. Only Four Sword so far had managed to escape his grasp.

However, Twilight didn't look uncomfortable. He tended to sometimes seek the warmth of others while asleep as well, so while he was awake he complained, but asleep it didn't become a problem. Time’s eyes trailed over the red hair of the boy through the flames of the fire and he studied his nose just a bit more. He really did look like Malon. He acted a bit more like her too, which he supposed he should be thankful for. As the night drew longer, he constantly found himself looking at the same features and feeling the same longing towards the love of his life. He felt like he spent more time reminding himself to keep watch at the shadows than he spent actually keeping watch.

Every so often, one of them would make a noise. Warrior was vocal when it came to dreams, Wind mumbled often, there was Legend's snoring and Sky's sounds of content, Hyrule would always somehow clear his throat randomly and shift around often, and Four Sword would every once in awhile grumble while moving positions.

The only ones who were usually silent were Twilight, Time himself, and—of course—Wild. Wild was always silent, cuddled up in his own blanket and sleeping like a dog wrapped up tight in a ball. The only time he ever made a sound while asleep was when-

“Hrmm…”

Was when he was having a nightmare. Time looked away from the forest, this time on purpose, to look at the boy who had shifted so he was clutching the blanket with white knuckles. His face was screwed up tight and sweat, despite the chilling cold of the night, lined his forehead.

“If… if I ever have a nightmare, can you wake me up? I'll wake up anyway, but it is nice to wake up to the faces of friends.”

Time sighed and shoved himself up to his feet. For a minute, he was tempted to wake up Twilight—the only one who really could comfort Wild after his bad dreams—but decided against it. Twilight needed the rest, and with how tight Hyrule was wrapped around him, he wouldn't be able to get up and help even if he were awake to do so.

It looked like it would be another awkward comfort session between Time and Wild. He never knew how to empathize with the boy.

“Hey,” Time said under his breath in a low voice, careful not to wake anyone else, “it's just a dream.” He reached down and shook Wild's shoulder, and it took a couple shakes for Wild's eyes to groggily blink open. It only took a second for the tiredness in Wild's eyes to disappear with wide awake fear.

Time quickly retracted his hand as once again Wild flinched violently from him. Wild scrambled in his sheets and ended up a few feet from his original spot, sitting with his legs ready to kick and arms grasping at the small weeds on the forest floor.

“Hey,” Time said quietly, and for a moment he was thankful that even in fear Wild was silent. He felt bad after that moment. “It's just me.”

Wild blinked and focused on time before recognition flashed. Wild's face crumpled and he wiped at his nose as he got in a more defensive posture. He brought his knees up to his chest and he wrapped his arms around then as he laid his head down so Time couldn't see.

“Sorry,” Wild said quietly.

“Don't be. We all have nightmares.”

“...”

Time sighed and looked at the sleeping Twilight like it would solve all of his problems. He walked closer to Wild and sat down a few feet apart.

What would Twilight do?

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

Wild remained silent for a few long moments before he shook his head in his knees. “I don't remember. I never do.”

Time didn't say anything more, just sat there to be a presence. He continued his watch from where he sat.

Suddenly, with no prompting, Wild spoke up.

“There's… there's been something I've needed to tell you…” Wild whispered quietly, so quietly that Time almost didn't hear him. He looked away from the forest and back towards Wild, who had his chin resting on his knees with his eyes staring deep into the campfire. “I've just… I was afraid you'd hate me, but I need to tell you.”

Time almost protested that he would never hate any of the heroes for any reason, but the look in Wild's eyes made him clench his jaw shut and stare. He nodded for Wild to continue.

Wild looked almost relieved but the stress in his shoulders did not fall.

“I… I was finally strong enough to face Calamity Ganon,” Wild started quietly. Time stared in shock, Wild had never told any details about his journey to anyone, “and… on the way I found these- these ruins. There's lots of ruins where I come from. Castle's… cities… springs… just, this one stood out to me. I pulled my horse towards them, deciding that Ganon can wait a few hours longer and went to investigate. The ruins were of a ranch.”

Wild stopped talking and took a deep breath, Time presumed he was choosing his words. Time himself remained silent, not wanting to speak and have Wild change his mind about sharing this story.

“There were Guardians there, and also bokoblin's on horses. I came at night, so there was also this skeletal bokoblin riding a dead horse… I've never seen anything like that. I defeated them all and it became morning. I rode my horse closer to the ruins and… they felt so familiar and safe even though there were so many enemies I had to defeat to get there. It was all torn down, like a tornado went through it. For all I know, one did, but there was still this worn down path that went in a huge loop where I rode my horse around for no reason. In the middle of the loop, surrounded by wood that could hardly be called a fence any longer, were these two jumps. I jumped my horse on those… I felt so safe there that I almost forgot I was on the way to take on Calamity Ganon. I left when the sun was setting…”

Time shifted nervously when Wild moved his gaze from the fire to look directly in Time’s eyes.

“When we went to Lon Lon Ranch… your home… I recognized it.”

Wild stopped speaking, just starting at Time's reaction, and honestly, Time didn't know how he should react. He could only assume that the ranch ruins Wild found was his own ranch, and while that stung—finding out a home he worked so hard to have was destined to be destroyed—he couldn't find why Wild was convinced that Time would hate him for it. He knew Wild came from a post apocalyptic world, so when he thought about it, he wasn't surprised that his ranch would be destroyed. In reality, he was honestly impressed that it lasted that long in the first place. How many times it would have had to be fixed and rebuilt in the span of ten thousand years…

Time found Wild's eyes and he realized Wild was expecting him to say something. Waiting for time to confirm his impossible fears, probably.

He cleared his throat. “I'm surprised the old place lasted that long.”

Time instantly realized that was probably the wrong thing to say when Wild sighed sadly and returned his head to be buried in his knees.

Time wouldn't have that. He wouldn't let the first time Wild opened up to him end like this.

He scooted closer and put a hand on Wild's shoulder, only this time Wild thankfully didn't flinch. He just poked up his head just the slightest to deliver a glare.

“Did you really think I would hate you?” Time asked.

Wild sighed and turned away. “You should. You could have had descendants living there… and because of me they probably all dead.”

“That's a huge burden to bear. Where'd you pick that up?”

Wild snapped his head up and shoved Time's hand away. He was glaring. “I failed. Zelda and the Champions all did their part, but I… but I died. I was gone for one hundred years. I allowed Calamity Ganon to linger, allowed the monsters to pillage the land. If I… if I could just have done my job, whoever lived at your ranch and so many others would still be alive. I…” Wild blinked and wiped at his eyes when a surprise drop ran down, “I… f-failed…”

Time was not a cuddly person. The only person in the world who could crawl through his defenses and make him relax in another arms were his love, his light, his Malon. He would much rather show his affection with words than touch, though at the former he wasn't very good at either. Yet… he couldn't just sit there and watch this boy fall apart, not when he'd done nothing wrong. Before he could change his mind, he wrapped his arms around Wild and pulled him close. Wild didn't fight, all he did was collapse and wrap shaking hands around the back of Times shirt. Time brought a hand up to Wild's hair and he whispered every comforting word he knew; he didn't stop until shaking shoulders stilled and breathing evened out.

Who knew how much time passed before Wild fell back asleep in Time's arms. All Time knew was that the moon was lower in the west than it was before and morning bugs were starting to make noise while night ones were stilling. Time won't let go until he realized that the posture he and Wild were in would do hell on their backs. He gently lowered Wild down, who didn't do much more than sigh softly, and wrapped him back in his nest of blankets.

He sat next to the boy until the sun arose, which resulted in multiple pairs of eyes blinking open. Twilight managed to shove Hyrule off and Four Sword somehow managed to make Sky wake up on time. Time didn't let anyone disturb Wild, saying he needed his rest. Legend groaned at that, saying Wild was the only one who wouldn't accidentally catch the whole forest on fire while cooking (the word purposely went unsaid, because Wild would purposely catch anything of fire on any occasion) but Time didn't relent until the air was a bit warmer and the birds sang a bit louder.

Wild looked even more tired than when he fell asleep, but Time could tell the small smile Wild gave him while they loaded up the horses was genuine.

He was making progress.

Later, as they traveled, Time matched his step with Twilight.

“I know you will anyways,” Time said quietly so no one else would hear, “but keep an eye on him.”

Twilight looked at Wild, whose back was turned from them as he happily joked around with Warrior, and turned back to Time. “Of course.”

[bitkahuna]

Good Omens Fic Exerpt

{Exerpt from Chapter 3 of The Journal Of Anthony J. Crowley by BitKahuna (me), Completed, Explicit}

When Crowley pulled away to look at Aziraphale, he found himself grinning. Everything about the angel was so soft and sweet, as if there was a heavenly filter that he constantly wore. Under that blue button-up there was nothing but soft flesh. He was absolutely perfect, but Crowley was especially charmed by the way the other’s stomach poked just over the top of his breeches. It was so lovely. It made the other seem warm and soft, like a teddy bear.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t paid much attention when they had switched bodies, but now he was consumed by the sight. He was staring at Crowley in only a grey t-shirt and black jeans. Slightly-tanned and somewhat muscular arms, his lips worn into a pale red, the most gentle pink flush on his cheeks, the way his red hair shone like the warmest part of a fire, his lithe and unnaturally graceful figure, he was even aware of how Crowley’s jeans showed off his thighs in an absolutely shameless fashion. He was a thing of divine beauty, so carefully designed to entice sin.

It was in that moment that Aziraphale understood why handsome men were called devils.

“You said you want more, angel. Is that more kissing, or something else?”

Aziraphale looked down at the floor and fidgeted a bit, trying to figure out what he wanted. “I really enjoy kissing you, but, I think I would like to do something further.” He looked back up at Crowley with a kittenish smile as he concluded his statement, proud that he’d figured it out on his own.

Crowley never showed how charmed he was by his lovers. Attachments never went well for him, considering his partners were always human and he was mostly immortal, but the angel before him was so incredibly different. He wasn’t overcome by lust or caught up in the moment; he was grounded in something so sweet and steady. He could stay like that forever, going as slow as his angel needed. It also made him unafraid to confess every little feeling that angelic smile gave him.

“Don’t smile at me like that, angel, I’m a stray dog; show me warmth and you’ll never rid of me.” He couldn’t figure out how or why, but something about the angel was so light, it drew him in. “You look like home.” A soft shudder ran through him and he felt himself tear up with a heavy emotion as the last of his defenses came crumbling down. He was broken.

Aziraphale might not have been the best angel, but he had one advantage over the rest: he understood emotions. He understood them so fully and completely. He gave Crowley a gentle smile and reached up, cupping his cheek. “Then stay. Be mine forever.”

And like a stray, Crowley stumbled into the open arms of a kind soul. Too kind a soul. One that was willing to give and has always given for six thousand years without complaint. Given friendship, company, partnership, he gave Crowley everything he never found for himself because he was unwilling to make mortal friends. And like a stray, Crowley took everything he could get out of his angel.

He once wanted to be selfish. He wanted to run away, abandon this world and have his angel all to himself. Now, he needed to give. He was going to give his angel everything.

Link to full fic

[ikonislife]

🌻mistake part 7

🌻Mistake part  7

🌻Best friend au, enemies (ish, barely) to lovers

🌻Donghyuk had thought it was a simple favor to ask of his best friend, but what happened when he realizes that friendship was long gone.

🌻 Mistake Masterlist

Donghyuk knew it was crass, and perhaps incredibly rude of him to ambush you so, but his heart couldn’t bear it. The way you had stared at him as you emerged from behind the bathroom’s door, the way you had whispered your desire to be with him. One second he was thanking you and the next, he had wrapped you in the tightest hug, the warmest hug any human could possibly given without trekking into bone crushing territory. 

“Shit. I’m sorry.” He muttered at the realization of what he had just done, the lines he had just crossed, and how still you were inside his arms. Fear was once again wrecking his body, he felt hope leaving his heart. Yet when he pulled himself away in panic, your arms were around his body, pulling him back in your own best attempt at a crushing hug.

“Don’t, don’t be.” You whispered softly, voice barely there and clear pearls still dotting your lashes. “I wished I had hugged you back then, stop you from leaving.” 

The memory of that day still so clear in his heart despite all the years, all the distant grown between your heart and his. It was terrifying how history had repeated itself, how eerily similar the situation was to that of the one lead to the silent shared between the both of you all these years. You didn’t grew up together, neither did the both of you belong to families in habit of betrothing their children. You were just a girl he had met freshman year of high school, bright eyes and beautiful smile on your lips as you flopped down beside him. Donghyuk couldn’t get your smile out of his head that night, that week, that year, and well, the rest of the four boring years of high school that seemingly went by in a flash. It was so easy being friend with you, so much so that Donghyuk distinctly remembered his heart realizing how special you were by the 3rd week spent sitting next to each other class after class. He’d get jealous of the guys hanging about you, cautious of the girls buzzing around himself, yet when it came time to be with you, all caution went out the window and his brain had let his heart ran free. He remembered too, the nervousness, the butterfly population in his stomach growing at an exponential rate after he decided that his heart did indeed belong to you. Despite remaining the only boy you kept in constant contact with after high school had ended, his poor nerve had only allowed him the courage to ask you out nearly a year after entering the adult world together. Your 18 birthday, it was supposed to be a magical night, the night that he finally profess his love and hopefully, you return the feeling. He planned it all out, the best first date anyone had ever taken you on for your birthday. Yet reality was anything but, you stood there with tear in your eyes and fists balling up so tightly, Donghyuk thought you’d break your own fingers. His plan all along was to ask you out at that fated party. His logic had been that if you were to turn him down, alcohol was free flowing and it was exactly what he’d need to drown his sorrow in. Thinking of it now, it was probably the stupidest idea he had to ask you out a week before your birthday, at a party filled with drunks. 

“Y/n, that night... The night you caught me with Jennie, what... Why...” The words lodged itself inside his throat as Donghyuk recalled the night, the only night he had seen anger flashing in your beautiful eyes. The scowl, the way your features grimaced under the twinkling light of the garden. 

“Why I came looking for you? Spent the entirety of the party running around trying to find you?” You filled in the words he couldn’t get out, face digging so deep within the crook of his neck you were lost, fingers gripping at the thin fabric covering his broad back. 

“Yes...” He nodded against your temple, finger carding through your soft locks as he basked in your needy touches. 

“I came...” A sudden chuckle fell from your lips and Donghyuk felt a shiver ran down his spine for that chuckle was nothing short of bitterness. “I came looking for you because I wanted to tell you...”

“Ahem... I, out of everybody, support this relationship the most but please keep your hanky panky behind close door please!” You mom voice cut in at the most important moment, the courage you had been building, gathering with the support of his warmth dissipated in a flash at the intrusion. 

“MOM! Shouldn’t you be saying the opposite of that?” You shrieked only the hushed out an embarrassed whisper. 

“Well you kids are young, I was young once, your father was young once... We know how this work. I just prefer if you keep it private and you know, have proper protection.” She quipped, though sharp eyes already caught on the distress behind Donghyuk’s smiley facade and the tears lingering on your redden eyes. 

“Oh my God. This is mortifying...”

“Are you calling your mother embarrassing?”

“No, this whole situation is... Just, ugh, fine.” You stammered in complete and utter humiliation before tugging gently at a giddy Donghyuk’s sleeve. “Let’s go back in my room.” 

With a quick bow, Donghyuk followed your steps before gently closing the door, suddenly feeling as though he were 14 entering your bedroom for the first time after a week long of practicing in the mirror “Y/n, do you want to study with me?” You had settled at the end of your bed, patting the spot right beside your body, finger wiping away the last bit of tear lingering. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I never wanted to upset you or make you cry.” He whispered a heartfelt apology as your body rocked under the weight of his sinking one. His hand went up only to helplessly dropping back to Earth when a loud sniffle tore through the silent room. 

“Bit too late for that...” You smiled the sentence but his heart twisted, a gut wrenching pain ravaged through his entire body at the sentence. You stared back up at him, those beautiful eyes you were so obsessed with dulled with pain, his brows furrowed vexingly at how completely useless he was this very second. “C-Could you hold me?” 

There was no need for you to repeat the question for the second the last syllable melted in the air, his arms already constricting around your body, pulling you so neatly into his lap. Donghyuk hummed gently, not entirely sure why he was doing it but a smile broke on his lips when you sighed contently, staying so still in his arms. As if his heart wasn’t enough that his heart was beating erratically, you left it skipping beats when you let your arms snaking around his body, squeezing all the sadness choking in his chest out. 

“Y/n, what were you saying earlier, about looking for me that night...” Finally brave enough to voiced his curiosity, Donghyuk pressed his cheek onto your temple, counting every second he was lucky enough to be here.

“I...Do we have to talk about it?” Your nerve failed you always at the worst moment as the memory rising in your chest soured. 

“yes, if we hope to ever be us, normal us...” He urged gently with a soft kiss to your temple, giving you the little bit of courage he managed to conjure up.

“I came looking for you because I made up my mind about us.” Your words as cryptic as the memory of that night had been. The party you both attended, it was someone’s birthday or graduation or something he had no recollection, not like that matter much anyways. You had arrived snuggling up under his arms as you both take on the loud thumping of a raging party and sloshing of alcohol being shoved into your faces. Somewhere in between the third shot and him going outside for a breather, to get away from the stuffy atmosphere and the constant nagging of his best friend, always doing the most to set him up, you melted into the night sky. He had no idea why, not even a remote clue as to how he woke up the next morning with a badgering headache of a terrible hungover, and you seemingly unreachable just as the beautiful stars he had vaguely remembered seeing the night before. The weeks to follow, you were constantly busy, cancelling plans and even ignoring his calls and texts for days. By the time the clock had ticked one month, Donghyuk knew something was wrong, so wrong and you were doing your all to avoid him. He should’ve persisted, hell storm over to your house the morning after when he had a terrible inkling that you needed him. Even through the pain and all the regurgitation his stomach had done in protest, he called you, asking times and times again if everything had been fine. And so when you assured him times and times again that you were, he went on with his life as if nothing had happened. Weeks turned into months and it all added up into years, you were no longer a constant in his life and even moments when life lead the both of you to cross path, you pretended as if he was nothing but a stranger. So he let you be, even as hurt and as confused as he was, Donghyuk let you be just another person he knew the name of. There were nights when he was so down on himself, nights when his body content were more alcohol than blood, Donghyuk pondered on storming over to your house and rip you a new one. How could you so easily given up on his precious friendship, how could you be so cold as if he was just one of those normal guys chasing after you like a fool. Yet the longer he stared at the night sky, basked in the soft breeze of the night, clarity washed over his drunken self. As much as he had loved you, he was nothing more but one of those fools chasing after your shadow, thinking he was better than everyone else. In the end, he decided that if you thought of him so little that you’ve had one foot out the door the entirety of the friendship, then he’d leave you be. After all, friendship is a two way street and it was time he stopped chasing a ghost. 

“Us?” He whispered under the kiss he had just laid on your cheek, every ounce of his body unable to part way with you no matter what resolve he had made in the past. 

“I- I wanted to tell you that...” You hid your face once more, a soft blush glowing on your cheeks. 

“What is it, Y/n? Come on, tell me.” He cooed so softly, gently coaxing out a small smile on your lips. 

“I wanted to tell you that I liked you a lot and if you wanted to see if you want to go on a date with me but I was too scared so I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to go to the amusement park with me for my birthday but it was actually a date and if it went well I was going to ask you out for real at the end of the night and I don’t know maybe we could’ve shared like our first kiss right before  midnight and my birthday was over like those cheesy teenager love novel thing.” You vomited words without care, without even breathing because you were so fearful if you stop, even just to breath that the words would stop and your heart would explode from embarrassment. 

“Oh my God that was the cutest thing in the world.” He stared at you in awe, the most magnificent smile blossoming on his lips. Donghyuk felt himself going dizzy from gasping so much in the few seconds since you uttered the shy confession. 

“Yea, but I saw you and Jennie... kissing... and yea. I felt like the whole world crumbled under my feet and I don’t know, I felt so duped.” A pout formed on your lips as the painful memory of watching the boy you loved sharing the kiss that you had been craving for so long with another girl. 

“Sweet, I’m so sorry. How long did you...?” He pulled you into his arms, so warm and so safe in his arms, fearful of watching you melting into the night sky once more.

“I- I watched until I couldn’t bear looking anymore, which was like a second before I just left.” You chuckled, a bitterness lingering even though his arms felt so amazing. “I was sad, at first. I cried my eyes out at our spot but after awhile, I got angry. I felt like you were leading me on, stringing me along just to have someone until you could get with Jennie. It was so stupid, I know but I just... Why do you want to know how long I creeped on you and Jennie?” Parting way temporarily, you wiped a tear lingering still on your lashes, pushed out from recalling that night you burned your friendship with him. 

“Because if you had stay for a few more seconds, you would’ve seen me pushing her off...” Donghyuk wrapped his hands around your cheeks, staring lovingly into your redden eyes with a guilty smile. “She asked if I could meet her outside cause there was something she wanted to ask me. I had a feeling what it was but brushed it off, probably just in my head. We were just talking and she sprung a kiss on me. I froze for a second, couldn’t process what happened. Broke away right away and told her I couldn’t return the feeling because someone else already got my heart.” Another kiss found itself fluttering upon your skin but this time, this time Donghyuk went for your lips. It was so delicate, sweet and chaste, barely there and already fluttering its wings to fly away the next second. It was the kiss he would’ve given you had he gotten a chance to ask you out on a date, or had your elaborate scheme had worked out. It was long overdue but nonetheless the best kiss of his life so far, something he surmised he’ll be saying a lot if the night continue the way it was going. 

“Fuck, I’m... I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot... I didn’t think, there was no way. I-I, I’m so sorry, Donghyuk. I truly am.” He left you stammering like an idiot, wishing time control was something of reality. 

“Hey, hey, stop. It wasn’t your fault. Things happened, misunderstanding happened.” Donghyuk did his best to cage you in his arms, dispelling as much guilt and blame as he could but you were strangely powerful.

“No, if I hadn’t gone all crazy. If I could’ve just behave like a normal human being, we could’ve... WE!” You exclaimed frantically but there was no helping how adorable he found your antic. He giggled and it only added to the confusion breaking over your face. 

“Yes, WE could’ve been we for awhile now but, honestly what’s life without a bit of struggle. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Just as much as you could’ve, I could’ve too. I could’ve call you up, question you, yell at you for abandoning me but I didn’t. So, just, let’s focus on now, hmm?” 

“But still...” You whined and Donghyuk nearly lost it, finding it harder and harder to not scream every time you do something. 

“You gotta stop being so cute, i don’t think my heart could handle more...” He chuckled, kisses fluttering all over your features. “Is that why you said we weren’t even friend anymore? Or is there another reason, because I’d much rather spend time on that date you promised me than being mad at each other.” 

“No..  That was it. i’m sorry I said your singing made my ears bleed. I was just saying that to spite you.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“That hurt a little bit, I know I’m not that good but damn... Making your ears bleed?” He teased, fingers tickling your side, sweet laughter chasing your whiny one. 

“I’m sorry. I was bitter, okay. You know I love your voice. I missed all those times you let me do homework in your studio. Please don’t be mad.” 

“Depends on where you’re going to wine and dine me.” 

“Uhm, anywhere that I won’t have to sell my body to pay for.” 

“Good, because I think I have better things to do with your body than selling it off for food.” He mused with a teasing wink and a devilish smirk, fingers sneaking along your ribcage.

“Yah, you pervert. What the hell are you talking about? Now I know why Hanbin and Bobby keep commenting dirty kid and the 18 restriction emoji on your Instagram now.” You swatted at his hand, crawling away from his laps but there was nothing you could do against those amazing muscles holding you back. 

“I’m joking. Ow, stop hitting me. I’m joking, sweet. Come back.” 

“I hate you already. I want a divorce.” You pat his cheek a bit harder than you should but he only grinned back, kisses flying and missing as you dodged out of his way but Donghyuk didn’t care. You were his, even if neither of you had said it out loud yet. You were his to hold, to kiss, to joke with, and best of all, this lie you both had built never need to be reveal. 

“If I promise to behave, can I go on that date you planned?” 

“Maybe...” 

“Please?” I won’t be a brat, and I’ll take you on that date I planned for your 18 birthday. Bit late, but I think you’ll like it still.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“I was going to confess to you that night too... I figured if you turn me down I can drink myself stupid. I had this whole elaborate plan to take you out for your birthday... Never got around to it.” 

“Donghyuk.... I-”

“Shh, no more blaming yourself. The past is done. At least now we don’t have to spend time figuring out what to do on our first official date.”

“Just spending time with you is already enough for me. I don’t need some crazy plan.” Your voice hushed out, lost in his beautiful smile and the way his eyes glimmering so wonderfully with happiness. 

“Hmm, but you deserve it. We’re going on that date no matter what.”

Donghyuk too was completely spellbound by your loving gaze, the smile disappeared from his lips but it was nothing short of bliss. His eyes danced about your dainty features, unable to keep himself from staring at those perfectly soft lips, just waiting for another kiss, a real kiss. He got his own rolling under his teeth, nervousness rising fast in his chest as your eyes fluttering close, inching in. He wondered if you too were nervous, lips pursing gently with each second ticking by. You were still so neatly perched atop his lap with your hand gripping onto his shoulders for balance. He let his hands wander, hoping you wouldn’t mind the little exploration he started on your body. Fingers tracing the curve of your spine, Donghyuk leaned in, so close he could feel your bated breath warming his lips and the soft floral perfume tickling his nose. He rounded the way over your butt, caressing your thigh before finding purchase on the small of your hip, other hand carding through your hair. This was real, it was so real and he was about to kiss you for the very first time. It was a long time coming and all his dream was coming true. Donghyuk was uncertain who had leaned in first but that part didn’t matter. What mattered was that you parted your lips just for him, just to let him have his way. You tasted like the best ripen fruits of summer, so sweet, quenching the thirst his heart wasn’t even aware of all these years. Your touch so delicate, ghosting over his chapped lips as you did the best to mould your own to fit in his. The dance so perfectly performed, leaving his heart skipping beats, no doubt needing to go see a doctor after this was all over with. With your hand gently caressing over his abs, winding around his body embolden the man further as his tongue swiped at your lower lips, asking for permission that wasn’t needed in the first place. You were both so lost that even as the heavy pants began to settle in your chest, neither of you care to stop. 

“So, can I start posting your picture on my Instagram yet?” Another chaste kiss met your lips, teasing sweetly.

“Yea, yea. Take me on that date and we’ll see.”

[1dimagineclub]

Daddy Niall Imagine

“You Are My Light”

I had never really been into blondes, but I quite liked the one sleeping soundly beside me, so dead-tired that his rest could not be disturbed by anything, not even the sunlight slipping through the cracks in the blinds and dancing right over his eyes. He wasn’t a natural blonde, of course, and had been letting his roots grow out (much to Lou’s dismay). That was how I reasoned through the fact that I had literally never considered dating a boy with blonde hair until I met him. His spirit must have screamed “I’m naturally a brunette!” to mine, and voila, we fell in love. Right. That had to be it.

I was absentmindedly running my fingers through said hair before I even realized it, but he just hummed quietly in pleasure at the feeling and squeezed the pillow in his arms tighter to his chest. Today I was absolutely scatterbrained because it was Christmas Eve and hidden in the closet was a present for Niall that would either delight or depress him—there was no in between. I was pregnant. Niall and I had been together for long enough now that it shouldn’t have been a big deal, but One Direction was still constantly touring and recording and flying out of the country for one simple interview, and that was the exact reason that he hadn’t even proposed to me yet. That had been the subject of many a “heated debate”, me insisting that I didn’t give a shit about a big extravagant wedding and that I just wanted to be able to say we were married, and Niall refusing to settle for a simple trip to the courthouse to get it done. I could only imagine how he would react to just the idea that we raise a kid together right now, let alone the stone cold truth that it was actually going to happen.

"Babe,“ his voice was rough from the past eleven or so hours of disuse, and made me jump a foot high in surprise. Pressing a hand to my chest to calm my suddenly rapidly beating heart, I leaned over his shoulder and peered down at his face. "You’re awake?” His bright blue eyes were half-lidded, but definitely staring back at me, and he said mockingly, “No, I’m talking directly to you in my sleep.” I punched him in the arm, and I didn’t really hold back, but that still didn’t mean it hurt. He made an oomph sound just to humor me, which only had me punching him again. “Baaabe,” he whined, “stop hitting me, kiss me, kiss me instead!” And even though he was so childish, he was really so cute, so I obliged him and directed my lips onto his. He was smiling softly when I pulled away and probably about to go off on a tangent about how much he loved me. I cut him off with, “Ew, you have really bad morning breath.”

I hopped off the bed and darted out of the room, giggling as he lunged after me in retaliation to my insult but just barely missed. “You’re cooking breakfast, by the way!” I yelled behind me, and he groaned loud enough that I heard him from all the way down the hall and now halfway down the stairs. In the living room, I flopped down onto the couch and stared at the Christmas tree in the corner. Niall had barely made it home in time for today, with his busy schedule and then a huge storm delaying his flight by several days, so we hadn’t been able to go buy a real tree like we usually did. Even if we had gone out and gotten one as soon as his plane had arrived the evening before, we wouldn’t have had time to decorate it. So I had settled for a fake, pre-lit tree, and to be honest, it was really putting a damper on my Christmas spirit.

"It’s still a pretty tree, babe,“ Niall said as he walked in. Last time I had seen him he had been naked under our blankets, now he was in a cozy sweater and some joggers. He looked very warm, so I held out my arms as an invitation for him to come cuddle with me. Instead of immediately attaching himself to my side, Niall raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was cooking breakfast?” He teased me. I narrowed my eyes at him and replied, “Don’t be a smart ass, Horan. Come here. I’m cold.” But then he was spinning on his heel and heading in the opposite direction, tossing a “Nah, I’m hungry,” back at me.

I followed him into the kitchen and picked up the conversation that had almost started earlier—"I know the tree is pretty, but it doesn’t smell right. It doesn’t smell like anything.“ Niall didn’t answer me, so I continued urgently, "It doesn’t smell like Christmas, Niall! Do you even care!” I was being over-dramatic, honestly, but at the time it was an extremely upsetting realization. Blame the hormones. “No, (Y/N), I don’t care that much.” I was readying to smack him when Niall quickly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. “I don’t care that it doesn’t smell like Christmas, I’m just glad I’m here with you.”

What an idiot. What an absolute idiot. I hated when he said stupid romantic shit like that…except I didn’t. There was a huge, sloppy grin on my face, and I rewarded his sweetness with another kiss. I was slowly dragging my hands up his chest and around his shoulders to wind behind his neck when I felt Niall’s hands cheekily slip from my waist to my bum and palm the flesh there. “Hey!” I hopped away from him, “No copping a feel before breakfast, Niall James Horan!” The blonde rolled his eyes, reaching out to me again, but I swatted his hands away. “Baby, don’t be like this, it’s been so long,” Niall pouted, but there was one person on this planet who was not susceptible to his puppy dog face and thankfully, that was me. I shook my head firmly. “Don’t you think you’ve been naughty enough this year? I’m already going to be surprised if Santa brings you any gifts,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. I mean, I was trying really hard. I managed to skip out of the kitchen before I smiled at my own words.

"Well now I’m not asking what you want to eat!“ Niall shouted after me, "I hope you want pancakes ‘cause that’s what I’m making and that’s final!” I had wanted pancakes. This worked out perfectly. An hour later, Niall was in the shower while I cleaned up the huge mess he had made. I didn’t mind that much, though, having to clean up after him, because breakfast had tasted especially good this morning. I don’t know why—I had forced Niall to make me pancakes a million times before—but today they were the best I had ever had. Because of that Niall had earned himself a grab of my ass without repercussions as he had passed me at the sink on his way back upstairs, and I hoped that would hold him over until tonight, at least.

I finished drying the last plate and set it in the cabinet on top of the others, then I hurried to the bedroom to change. Niall and I were heading into town to do some last minute shopping before we had to go to his parents’ house tomorrow afternoon and then make an appearance at some of his friends’ party that night. I slammed the door open, positive that Niall was still in the bathroom, but was surprised to find him already dressed and sitting on the mattress with his back to me. He scrambled to his feet when I loudly entered the room, but took almost a full minute before turning to face me, his face bright red. “Are you okay?” I asked him, my tone suspicious, and he nodded frantically. “I’m perfect! I wasn’t doing nothing!” My face was blank. “So you were doing something,” I said, now speaking in a monotone. His mouth opened and shut stupidly with no words coming out, and I could see in his eyes the wheels of his tiny brain turning, overworking themselves as he struggled with what to say. “Don’t make fun of my grammar!” was what he decided on before frowning and pushing past me out of the room.

Well that wasn’t fishy at all. I quickly walked over to the closet, dropping to my knees and pushing a few pairs of shoes and a random sheet out of the way before my eyes beheld the (immaculately) wrapped gift I had hidden there and I gave a huge sigh of relief, having been worried he had found it and opened it and that was why he was acting so weird… But with that theory out the window, I was nervous all over again about whatever had gotten him so flustered. I swallowed thickly, forcing down my anxiety, and piled everything back on top of the tiny box. Then I pulled on my warmest clothes and a pair of boots, grabbed my coat, and joined Niall at the door. He had visibly calmed down, but now he looked annoyed.

"What?“ I snapped, although not really angry. I tweaked his nose as I fell into my natural spot at his side. "Nothing,” he grunted, “just that you took about fifty hours to get dressed.” I shrugged, not really concerned with that, and grabbed the gray beanie out of his hands to pull onto my head. For about half a second he looked like he was going to take it back, then his eyes softened. “You look cuter in it than I do,” he said. I just nodded. Niall grabbed a random snapback off the entryway table and slipped it on, instead. “You look cuter in that, anyways,” I complimented him, before swinging the door open and trudging out into the snow.

Niall pulled the Range Rover up into a gas station (or a petrol station, as he called it) not too long later. He filled up the tank while I waited in the passenger’s seat messing about on my phone, then tapped on the window as he passed by and headed straight inside instead of getting back in the car. I frowned, since it was too cold and quiet in here, but I knew it was colder outside of the car and the warmth in the shop just wasn’t worth the thirty second walk. Niall was quick though, sensing my irritation I’m sure, and was soon getting back into the car with a bag in tow. “What did you even get?” Niall dug out a package of chips (crisps) and tossed whatever else into the backseat, not feeling the need to say after that. “Snacks! Niall, we just ate…” I trailed off, thinking that I knew very well just how much this boy could put away, and also that I didn’t really care that much.

The day went by slowly, and by time we were dragging our feet up the walkway to the door with several bags weighing us down, it felt like we had been gone for weeks. At least that’s how I felt. Niall, actually, was shifting restlessly from one foot to the other, and he kept running his hands through his hair and looking from side to side as if somebody was watching us. “You’re being weird again,” I commented as I unlocked the door, but once again he just went by me and offered no explanation. He dropped the bags he’d been carrying at the foot of the stairs before then taking them two at a time, ascending quickly, yelling “I’m gonna get the wrapping paper!”

We spent almost two hours wrapping gifts for his family and friends. I was actually quite good at wrapping, but he wasn’t really helping, just making a mess, taping random bits of paper to random patches of either of our skin, and tapping me with the tip of a marker when I wasn’t looking, much to my annoyance. When we had finished we decided to take them out to the car now instead of waiting until tomorrow, and coming back inside, I asked Niall to start a fire before disappearing up into our room. As was tradition, we would be giving one gift tonight. I sat on the floor of our closet with the tiny box in my hands for much longer than I realized. The scent of hot chocolate hit me before Niall kicked the door open gently and walked in carrying two mugs of it.

“What are you doing, cutie?” He asked, kneeling down beside me. I held up the present, trying to act like it was no big deal, but my hands were shaking. He furrowed his brow curiously, but didn’t press me for a real answer. “That the present I get to open soon?” Words escaped me and all I could do was nod. He nodded back, and silence fell over us both, until he held out one of the hot chocolates to me. “Come on down, it’s warm in the living room,” he said as my (very cold) fingers wrapped around the cup. With that and the present in hand, I followed him to the couch, where I cuddled into his side and we watched the fire crackling. Although I was extremely nervous, I felt so safe and comfortable in Niall’s arms, right where I was meant to be.

When I had sipped the last of my drink, I leaned forward to place my mug on the coffee table and grabbed Niall’s present off the floor where I had left it. He was shifting in his seat, too, but when I faced him again, he wasn’t holding out a gift for me. “Where’s mine?” I asked, and only later did I think that I sounded like a spoiled brat just then. He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, his face tight. “It’s in a hiding place,” he said, “lemme open mine first.” I opened my mouth to protest, but Niall had already snatched the box out of my hands and started to attack the wrapping paper before I could. “Niall, wait,” I said, putting my hands around his bicep, but it was too late. He was already staring down at the tiny shoes, no expression on his face.

“Um…they’re cleats,��� I tried. Niall was mute. In fact, he was like a statue, silent and still and I swear to god, he wasn’t breathing. With nothing left to lose, I whispered, “They’re cleats…for our baby.” When he still didn’t answer me, I looked down and wanted to cry at the way his large hands cradled the shoes so delicately, like they were going to break if he moved his finger even an inch. My own hands slid over to cover both of his. “We’re having a baby.” He wasn’t asking. He wasn’t looking at me, either, but I still nodded. Finally, Niall’s head rose and our eyes met. His were filled with tears.

"I’m pregnant.“ I had known for weeks now, but that was the first time I had actually said the words. Niall gently placed the baby cleats on the table, and I hoped he would give me a hug and a kiss and tell me how happy he was and how much he loved me, but instead he was drawing away from me. I felt tears of shame and sadness and anger all in one pressing against my eyes, about to fall, when suddenly I realized—Niall was sliding off the couch. He was moving onto one knee. He was reaching in his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box, and opening it to present the most beautiful ring I had literally ever seen. And he was quietly saying,

"(Y/N), we’re going to get married.” Maybe I was supposed to say something, maybe I was supposed to say “yes” (even though he didn’t ask me, not that I minded). Instead I dropped down to my knees and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face into him and coating his neck with tears and kisses. A second later he was trying to pry me off of him, and when he did it was just long enough to kiss my fingertip and slip on the ring before I launched off again. We fell onto the carpet, wrapped up in each other, lips pressing to any inch of skin we could reach, but before we could lose ourselves to the passion of it all, Niall asked, “That does mean yes, right?” I laughed and grabbed his hand, pressing it to my belly. “That does mean you’re happy about the baby, right?” His answer was to duck his head and kiss the spot where his hand was. My heart warmed at the affection. “The cleats were a good touch,” he whispered against my stomach, “I can’t wait to teach them how to play football with me.” I ran my fingers through his hair, imagining it, Niall and our son or daughter kicking a ball around in the backyard.

"Oh! Wait! I need you to open one more present!“ His eyes lit up as he leaped to his feet and took off out of the room, through the hall, and…to the front door? "Be right back!” He slipped out into the snowy night in just a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and some socks, and I felt cold for him. I also felt a little annoyed again, at him just taking off in the middle of such a perfect moment, but I was prepared to be annoyed at him for the rest of my life. He returned, shivering violently and carrying the bag from the gas station. “What the hell?!” I cried as he tossed it into my hands and fell down on the ground beside me. Niall just winked and nodded at the bag, urging me to look inside. I read the word “pine” on the package before I actually pulled out the object and saw what it was, and I didn’t think I had it in me to cry about anything else, but—like I said, he was just so cute. “It’s an air freshener!” He announced, as if I didn’t know, “So it can smell like Christmas.” As thankful for it as I was, I dropped the gift in my lap and leaned forward to cup Niall’s cheeks and give him another big kiss. He was smiling into it, wider than I had ever known him to smile before.

"So, you’re happy right? Really happy?“ I waited for the next question, the one that I knew was coming, and Niall asked, "Does that mean we can have sex now?” To tease him, I looked off to the side and tapped a finger to my chin, as if I had to consider it. “I guess so,” I finally answered him, “but only because I love you.”