#There's a lot of people who are kin with Alexander Hamilton right now

[agerefandom]

Okay, this is just a silly over-sharing personal post about my experience of kinning and how that feels for me! If I’m going to talk about it on here, I figure I should introduce my… unique experience of it. 

Note: this is a vulnerable post for me, so please don’t make fun of me for my experiences or fandoms! Asking questions is totally okay, and corrections are welcome, but please be patient and give me the benefit of the doubt that I’m doing my best! Also, content warning for passing mentions of depression, insomnia, hallucinations, and flashbacks. The whole thing is a bit of a mental trip, so if you’re prone to unreality problems, I don’t recommend reading this! 

Right! So, what is kinning, or being otherkin or fictionkin?

That’s a really complicated question! The community has expanded a lot in the last few years, and to be honest, the words have kinda lost their meaning. (Some people from the old communities are mad about that, and honestly... I get it.)

I’m not otherkin, so I’m not going to talk about it too much, but it’s the longer-established community (although I’m pretty sure that people have been kinning characters, people, animals, and concepts since the beginning of humans, hit me up for historical examples if you’d like).

Basically, being otherkin is when you identify as something other than human! People have lots of explanations for why this happens: reincarnation, spiritual connections. Others see it as connected to their neurodivergence, and others don’t feel the need to justify their identity as otherkin!

Being fictionkin is really blowing up on the internet right now, and it’s when you identify as a fictional character (ie. Sherlock Holmes). It’s a nebulous concept, and some people are now using ‘kinning’ as a way to say that they just relate to a character, or they find a part of themself expressed in a character. Others identify fully with the character, or have memories from what they believe is a past life or alternate universe where they were that character.

I’m not gonna say that one definition of ‘kinning’ is right and others are wrong, because language is made to evolve, and my own experience is so complicated that I hardly know which side my own experiences fall on! But it’s important to know that both communities exist, and it’s currently hard to tell what a person means by having a character on their ‘kinlist’ (list of characters/things they kin).

My story with kinning, under the ‘read more’. 

When I was a kid, it took me a long time to figure out that other people don’t experience media the same way that I do. They don’t feel sharp pain in their leg when someone on-screen hurts a leg, for example.  

I have over-active empathy: I can tell when someone on the train is feeling anxious, because I start feeling my heart racing. I share this quirk with my mother, who’s a lot better at regulating it. It might be an autism thing, it might be a spiritual thing, lots of people have given theories. But it’s a thing that I experience, and that’s all that matters for the moment.

As one consequence of this hyperempathy, ever since I was a child, I have a tendency to ‘pick up’ characters: the lines between myself and them blur while I watch a movie or read a book, and then I can’t quite unblur those lines when I’m done.

(I jumped off the garage roof when I was six, insisting I was Peter Parker. I sprained an ankle and was banned from Spider-Man content until I was eleven.)

I don’t pick up characters as often anymore: I can go anywhere from four months to two years without the lines of my selfhood getting blurry. When I was a young teen, though, it felt like my head was just full of people who wanted different things, and I couldn’t tell which of them were me, which of them were my parents, and which of them were fictional.

Thank god high school is over.

Anyways, ‘picking up’ characters has always been a struggle for me. It challenges my fashion choices, my favourite activities, my gender identity, and sometimes even my taste in food. It lasts for two weeks to six months, and then I subside back into my ‘natural’ state (which was rapidly changing in my teen years, adding to my confusion).

It made me feel really crazy, because none of my friends had this experience, and I’d never heard anyone else talking about it!

It turns out there is a term for this, it’s called ‘fictionflickers.’ It’s a term for a wide range of experiences, but one of the things it covers is briefly switching to the viewpoint of a fictional character, or a temporary ‘taking on’ of a character. Exactly what I experience! It’s temporary, and kin-adjacent, but it doesn’t technically fall under the umbrella of being fictionkin or otherkin, which are more fixed identities (although some people would argue that).

I am so happy to have a word for this. It makes me feel validated, and like I can actually talk to people about it. And it helps me to deal with it without fear, knowing that I’m not alone in the experience.

But then there’s another category of characters, which only showed up when I read a series called All For The Game (or The Foxhole Court) at age 18.

There’s a character in this series named Andrew Minyard. Immediately, I knew he was ‘mine’ (in a way I often connect to characters that become fictionflickers). His name leapt out at me from the page, I could feel his actions in my body more strongly than the other characters, it almost felt like I could predict his actions.

Anyways, bad things happen to that character. Well, bad things happen to most characters in that series. But Andrew’s plotline hit me hard, twisting my empathy into one big bundle of terribleness. I had nightmares for months, always in his body, and all throughout it, there was this terrible feeling that I was forgetting something.

I put it down to being a really bad fictionflicker (although I didn’t have the term yet, I called it ‘picking up characters,’ and I knew it was a reoccurring experience). But it was weird: there was no real shift in my personality or tastes, aside from a severe drop in mood because of the nightmares and insomnia. It wasn’t like a fictionflicker at all, aside from the fact that I couldn’t get this character out of my head.

Eventually, the nightmares started bleeding over into my days in the form of vivid flashbacks and… I stopped fighting what I’d been too scared to admit to myself. They were memories. They weren’t my memories, they were Andrew’s memories, but they were in my head, and I was dealing with the consequences.

Everything got easier when I recognized that. It felt right to process them as memories, rather than hallucinations, which I had been thinking of them as. This change in thinking made a huge difference, although I couldn’t tell you why, and the nightmares finally stopped.

But still, what were someone else’s memories doing in my head? Surely that was weirder than hallucinations?

And that’s when I found the kin community, and threw myself in headfirst.

Memories are one of the key differences between ‘I relate to a character’ kinning and ‘I am this character’ kinning. There are tons of other people with character-memories!!! I’ve quizzed dozens of (very patient and kind) people who share this experience, and heard dozens of theories about why it happens.

I don’t really have a personal theory, to be honest. It’s weird, and it’s happening, and I’m still not quite sure what to do about it, if anything. Mostly, I just try and be more open about it, when I can be. It’s still such a strange and unusual experience, and I get nervous explaining it to people, but it helps to talk about it. Especially when memories or new characters are bothering me, and I need help to separate myself from them.

Sometimes the line between ‘fictionflicker’ and ‘kinning’ is hard for me to find. The vivid thoughts and cravings that come with my fictionflickers occasionally cross into memories, and it’s really only time that will tell whether a character is a permanent part of me, or a temporary identification.

Anyways, here’s a list of my permanent kins, and my more recent or significant fictionflickers! I would never tell anyone about these without all the context you just read, but I think you can understand me well enough not to judge them too harshly now. 

Here’s the picrew I used to make most of the images! 

--

Kins (and memories)

Andrew Minyard (Foxhole Court: mainly childhood memories: no memories of the book era, some pre-novel Palmetto memories)

Dirk Strider (Homestuck: non-game universe: caregiver splinter in a mess of a headspace with lots of folks around)

Holden Caulfield (Catcher In The Rye: hospital memories, and not much else)

Spiral (Magnus Archives: pre-Michael era, blurry memories, how it felt to be a labyrinth)

--

Fictionflickers (age 16-22, not in chronological order)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls: two months: had some very confusing times thinking I had one eye. Enjoyed the music taste.)

Wade Wilson (Marvel: twelve months: helped me get all the voices in line when I was a teen. Also, made me feel better about the eczema that used to cover my face and shoulders. A reoccurring fictionflicker every few years.)

Mae Borowski (Night In The Woods: one month: on the line of kin and fictionflicker. I miss her mother terribly. Doesn’t mix well with my fear of heights, since I want to climb everything. I get weird dreams as Mae, but I often get weird dreams.)

Alexander Hamilton (Hamilton: six months: worst fictionflicker ever, I didn’t sleep a solid night for months but I did get straight As and met the Prime Minister. Long story.)

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty: two months: absolutely terrible person to have in your head. I wrote some songs, stayed up late, and dressed defensively feminine. I usually refuse to admit that I have memories from a version of him, because I’m not putting that name on my proper kinlist.)

Kevin (Welcome To Night Vale: ?one month?: another kin/fictionflicker blurry line. He makes my mouth hurt when I listen to his episodes. He was bringing up my Spiral memories before The Magnus Archives ever came out.)

Courfeyrac (Les Miserables: four months: brilliant era. Had so much energy. Joined a political group on campus, made donuts for people, and generally had a good time. Dated too many of my friends, though.)

[pricryo]

All the love asks

“Blush : What do you do when you have a crush on someone?”- i draw art of them and make playlists for them in secret and imagine how cool it would be to hold them… i also try to do whatever i can to make them happy, even if it makes me sad.

“Kiss : What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?”- i was once given a series of letters that spanned over the course of december with roughly one letter every day until christmas! it was all good, positivity, lovey-dovey stuff!! i really cherish that. i also really cherish every single time john has drawn something for me!! especially the things that were to cheer me up!!!! 💛💖

“Cuddle : Which one of your mutuals do you really want to hug right now?”- @blondewolfhd come get your hugs, love!! 💛💖

“Heartbeat : What fictional character do you love?”- oh, plenty!! there’s a full list on my carrd under comfort characters, but the main romo comforts are: john laurens (hamilton musical), brightheart (warriors), hollyleaf (warriors), jay merrick (marble hornets), steve rogers (marvel), arthur pendragon (bbc merlin), sir leon (bbc merlin), sir lancelot du lac (bbc merlin), sir gwaine (bbc merlin), and john marston (red dead redemption)! 💛💖

“Romance : Perfect date?”- going to a zoo or an aquarium!!! that would be super fun!!!!! or like… going to a cafe… or really anything!!! like… the perfect part is just being there with my partner honestly…

“Joy : What truly makes you happy?”- being with my partners and just… having fun, goofing off!! or doing things together!!! just being with them and just… loving them… they make me happy.

“Happiness : Who are your kin?”- assuming this means family, i have an older brother and sister, a mother and father, and three nieces and a nephew. not counting my many, many cousins. or my uncles/aunt. however, i don’t really… consider them family, for the most part, other than my older brother and one of my nieces (i call her kidd and she’s got some issues, but she’s pretty chill). in addition, i also co-own one pug (meatball), one blue heeler mix (fluke), one white cat (archimedes), one orange tabby cat (napoleon), one calico cat (mr. meowgi), one albino rabbit (casper), one rabbit with a “wild coat” (acorn), and one rabbit that’s brown with black splotches (berry). i also have… three adoptive dads and four boyfriends!! 💛💖

“Love : Are you, or have you been, in love before?”- yes!! i am deeply in love with my boyfriends!! john and leon are the only two that aren’t in my system, but i love them all the same!! unfortunately, i do have a bad habit of only referring to john, mostly because i typically feel afraid to tell people i’m dating two of my headmates and one of his, and i really wish i could break that. leon, gwaine, lance, john… i love you all equally. 💛💖

“Beloved : What do you love the most about yourself?”- i’m trying harder to learn how to love myself, but i think… my eyes? or better yet, my creative talent. i’m trying really hard to hone my writing ability considering how it’s my special interest and i’m an aspiring author!!

“Sweet: Favorite love song?”- currently, it’s if i killed someone for you by alec benjamin, but other good ones i like include the anchor by bastille, white blood by oh wonder, and i found by amber run!!

“Cute : What’s your aesthetic?”- unfortunately… it changes way too often. over all it’s had a foresty theme for a while, but sometimes it’s also been retro games and pixel art, and sometimes it’s been sunflowers and pastel colors and being gentle, and once it was books and reading and coffee, and once it was pirates back when they were one of my special interests! right now, i don’t really know what it is, and i really wish i did.

“Thoughtful : If you could change your name, what would you call yourself?”- this is also a very hard question! right now, the current name i’m going with is timothy alexander lucas(?) laurens (or technically wright, but then when i marry john, it’ll be laurens)!! but i also like a few of my kin names (merlin, icarus, javier, and bucky namely)! and i’ve probably entertained the thought of a few other names at one point or another, but right now i’m most comfortable with being called tim by most people!

“Charming : Who helps motivate you?”- my partners are my main source of motivation!! 💛💖

“Beautiful : Who is your ideal significant other?”- i’m already with them!!! 💛💖

“Affection : Who do you ship?”- plenty of ships! my biggest ship rn (mostly because of the kin shift) is jovier (john marston/javier escuella)! another one of my major ships is merthur (merlin emrys/arthur pendragon)!! you can ask for a more extended list in a separate ask but rn this is all that comes to mind!!

“Kind : What Pokemon would you be?”- where i kin a lot of pokemon… i have many options, like umbreon, jirachi, pikachu, zorua/zoroark, midnight lycanroc, pyroar, shiny yamask, shiny quilava, the rowlet line, and deoxys! that isn’t even counting my synpaths, either! but right now, i’m feeling mostly like i’d be midnight lycanroc! :0

“Heart Beat : You’re getting coffee with a celebrity, who is it?”- i don’t really know!!;;

“Giggle : Do you believe in love at first sight?”- not exactly!! i believe you can feel attracted to a person, but you can’t fall super deeply into love with them until you know every little detail about what makes them wonderful!! 💛💖

“Laughter : Who can always make you laugh?”- my partners!! 💛💖

“Smile : What do you find attractive?”- i don’t really know!! ;w; i don’t think i have any specific preference, but john says i do, so i’m uncertain!!

“Warmth : What is your happy place?”- a warm bed in colorado curled up with my husbands! 💛💖

“Huggable : What are your favorite flowers?”- mostly sun flowers and tea roses!! there’s plenty of them i like that i can’t remember rn, though!!

“Soul Mate : Who is your best friend?”- without a doubt, my best friends are my partners! 💛💖

“Unique : What qualities do you look for in other people?”- generally, i want the people i’m dating to have similar values to mine (anti-racism, anti-terf, anti-trump, anti-islamophobia, anti-xenophobia, etc!) and be a good person!! nothing else really matters to me!! 💛💖

“Trust : Do you trust people easily?”- i used to trust super easily, but after being put through emotional abuse my one of my best friends at the time and being manipulated after putting all of my trust in her, i find i can’t do that so easily!! however, i’m still slightly easy to trust, from what i’ve noticed recently!!

“Dearest : What item is most dear to you?”- literally anything my partners have ever given me!! like the candles john made!! or the art!! or the letters!!! or the minecraft sheep plushie that i love a whole lot!!! or the blankets!! or the things they’ve taken from the bad house and brought to me!! i love them a lot!!! 💛💖

[fourteenacross]

hamilton chicago: friday, may 19

 AS PROMISED! Show notes! About the Eliza Company!

(Previous Ham show notes: May ‘16, July ‘16, October ‘16)

Pre-show notes:

There were so many stairs! Which wouldn’t have been a problem except they didn’t sell all the merch upstairs and didn’t SAY THAT until we were already up there, so I ran a marathon to get a gd hoodie. idk how those Great Comet kids do that every night, jesus

The stage is smaller or at least SEEMS smaller--more narrow. Thus, some of the choreography seemed different.

This will be the bougiest thing I type in this review, so brace yourselves: they had different signature cocktails and they did NOT have a gin cocktail and while their Hennessy cocktail was FINE, I was a little bummed.

In overview: I LOVED this cast and most of them are now my second favorites after the OBC. They were PHENOMENAL. I’m so jealous of all my buddies in Chicago who are so close to this cast.

Cast: Alexander Hamilton: Miguel Cervantes Aaron Burr: Daniel Breaker Eliza Hamilton: Ari Afsar Angelica Schulyer: Karen Olivo George Washington: Jonathan Kirkland Lafayette/Jefferson: Chris De'Sean Lee Mulligan/Madison: Jean Godsend Floradin Laurens/Philip: Jose Ramos Peggy/Maria: Samantha Marie Ware and the rest of the cast

Song-by-Song

Alexander Hamilton: It was weird not having the wild applause after each actor’s entrance, not even for A.Ham. There was nothing wrong with that, it just threw me. I could tell IMMEDIATELY that Daniel Breaker’s Burr was going to be unique. There wasn’t as much emphasis on my FAVORITE DUMB DETAIL of this song, the coat-books-bag hand-off.

Aaron Burr, Sir: Daniel plays Burr as a little more irreverent, and a little closer to ~*~historical Burr~*~ rather than Leslie’s more sleek and refined Burr. His “talk less, smile more” was almost sarcastic, and that really set the tone for him. The whole time that AHam is ranting and babbling, he looked more and more like he was trying to keep his distance, like he was already exasperated. The intros for the gang were PERFECT. They were different from the OBC, but still in the same style.

My Shot: THIS WAS SO GOOD. The moment I knew this cast was going to be something else. This song was a perfect encapsulation of Hamilvantes--frantic and desperate and defensive and ready for shit. José was a perfect hype-man, his Laurens’ recklessness really shone through, like this was what he was always primed to do and he finally found someone willing to encourage it. Chris Lee was SO funny and his accent was PERF. I’d say better than Daveed’s, but I’ll get to the issues with that later. We had an understudy for Mull/Mad, Jean Godsend Floradin, and he was SO AMAZING--he was small and somehow had all that big Hercules Mulligan personality inside of him all the same.

Story of Tonight: I will admit that this song was not as queer as I’m used to/wanted it to be. AHam did a lot more hanging off of everyone as opposed to just Laurens. Of course, no one will ever gay this up as much as Lin and Anthony.

Schuyler Sisters: SAMANTHA WARE THO. Peggy is so frustrated and angry with her big sisters at the start and that was perfect. Karen is AMAZING she brings a very different energy to Angelica in this song, more...I don’t know, like she’s rushing out there to learn, whereas Renee played it more like she already KNEW these things, but was bringing her sisters out to see it for themselves. Also, Daniel’s Burr is so full of himself and such a smarmy asshole and I LOVED IT.

Farmer Refuted: Seabury was so tiny! José Amor was just swallowed by the costume. He played the character younger and less condescending than Thayne does. Miguel had an almost angry edge to his delivery, or maybe more sarcastically vindictive. Whatever he did, it was super funny.

You’ll Be Back: This was funny? idk, I’m not into these songs as much as other people, they’re funny, but it’s kind of just one joke?

There were audible gasps during the transition, which furthers my conviction that it’s one of the three best things in the show that you don’t know about if you haven’t seen it.

Right Hand Man: Jonathan Kirkland as GWash was really good, but it took me a couple minutes to decide that/connect with him.Very commanding and frustrated in a very different way than Chris Jackson. Older seeming. I noticed for the first time the very specific desertion choreography leading up to “are these the men with which...etc.” I LOVED Daniel’s delivery of Burr’s lines in GWash’s office, particularly “from a distance.” “We keep meeting” was played for laughs explicitly, whereas on b’way I always feel like people laugh at it even though it isn’t necessarily delivered as a joke. (This line always scans as more creepy than funny to me on the cast recording.)

Winter’s Ball: Weirdly, this was the gayest number in the show? AHam and Laurens are hanging off each other basically up to the second the “ladies!” bit starts and did not seem like, totally convinced this was something worth their time? It was an interesting choice.

Helpless: My party was divided on their feelings on this song and Ari, but I came down strongly on LOVED HER. I wrote a little heart next to this number in the notes in my bullet journal. She was so cute and I loved her voice and she was perfectly bubbly and in love. Karen’s delivery of “I’m just saying...etc” was AMAZING and totally new and I loooooooved it.

Satisfied: I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR KAREN OLIVO. Her performance is basically like she’s having a conversation with herself, posing a question/problem and trying to come up with any possible solution where she wins. Like she’s working through this problem and realizing she’ll never win. It was much more...idk, interactive than Renee or Mandy? There was a lot of her delivery and face that was more animated. Her “so this is what it feels like...etc” was AMAZING, incredible, genuinely amazed and shocked that she was stymied by this guy’s brain. It’s definitely my favorite performance of this song ever. Worth the whole goddamn Chicago vacation on its own.

Story of Tonight (Reprise): Cute. “She’s married” was SO good. They were both so into it--Burr was smug and knew exactly what he as getting away with and AHam was almost proud of him for it XD

Wait For It: Daniel’s more rakish, funny Burr makes this song even more poignant, like a look into what’s beyond his jokey exterior. I connected with it SO deeply.

Stay Alive: Lee was pretty funny. I’m pretty sure Lafayette gave him the finger as he ran off, which made me laugh.

Ten Duel Commandments: Again with the “not as queer as it could be.” (Sorry, my gay, depressed, stressed out self over-relates to historical Laurens’ gay, depressed, stressed out self, so Laurens’ subtextual gayness is important to me.) (And a lot of feelings about the decision to make it subtextual in the libretto, if not in the OBC’s performance, but I won’t get into that.) (Altho I will say something about the letter hand-off at the “note for your next of kin” made it seem like the letter was specifically intended for AHam? Something in the look they exchanged on the hand-over.) José was SO tiny next to Robert Walters as Lee??? And, surprise, I loved Daniel’s delivery of E V E R Y  O N E of his lines. 

Meet Me Inside: GWASH WAS SO BIG AND AHAM IS SO LITTLE. Like, one of the few things I knew about this cast going in was that Miguel is the tiny!Ham, but Jonathan Kirkland is SO TALL! I loved AHam losing his shit, but given how scrappy and defensive Miguel plays the character for the rest of act one, I kind of expected more? GWash played it almost as if he wasn’t firing AHam, just sending him home to think about what he’d done and see his wife and cool off.

That Would Be Enough: Ari has a great voice and I love how physically affectionate she is with AHam. It felt so natural and really added to their chemistry.

Guns and Ships: Burr’s intro is SO EXCITED like he couldn’t wait to tell us about Lafayette. Like I said earlier, Chris Lee’s accent was better than Daveed’s, BUT because it was so good, I have a feeling some of the lines were indecipherable to people who didn’t know the words, despite the fact that his rapping was very crisp.

History Has Its Eyes on You: I never really noticed the signifigance of Washington handing over the sword before. It definitely felt like Washington was making sure AHam really thought long and hard about his new responsibilities before giving it to him.

Yorktown: INCREDIBLE. Mulligan’s verse was SO GOOD. This number always gives me chills and this was no exception. I always want to jump up and cheer and they def fueled that today. Also, the “immigrants” line got applause and cheers, even though a lot of the other applause/cheer lines didn’t not.

What Comes Next: This was fine.

Dear Theodosia: Very sweet on both their parts. Their voices really sound wonderful together.

Tomorrow There’ll Be More of Us: The cramped staging of this really threw me. AHam could have reached out and touched dead!Laurens. José played it kind of wistfully smiley which didn’t 100% work for me, which is probably good in the long run considering how wrecked I was watching Anthony.

Non-Stop: SO GOOD. At the beginning-- “after the war” etc--it was like AHam was trying to show up Burr in all his line deliveries. At the start of the courtroom bit, Burr looked at the audience like he was looking into the camera on the Office and it was amazing. “Constitutional convention” was adorbs--he started normal and went full on squeal by the end. “You’re a better lawyer than me” was SO GOOD, like he showed up just to announce that after steeling himself and Burr was so over it and I LOVED IT. The end was so perf and intense, specifically the “isn’t this enough”/”he will never be satisfied.” And AHam’s “look around, look around” is always one of my favorite lines.

Intermission: I am SO GOOD at bathrooms, guys, I was in the ladies room before the lights even came up all the way and out in time to grab a drink before dissecting the show with my buddies.

What’d I Miss?: Good, but not as good as I wanted it to be? Lots of little flourishes that made it his own, but not over the top enough for my preferences. (I’ve previously seen Daveed and Chappelle, so my preferences really err on the side of VERY OVER THE TOP). He kept poking Madison with his cane to get his attention, which was cute. His “I can’t believe that we are free” hit particularly hard for some reason--it might have been the angle I was sitting at and how the slaves were framed in the view from that side. 

Cabinet Battle #1: GOOD ALL AROUND A+ EVERYONE.

Take a Break: I really liked José’s approach to this number more than Anthony’s. Anthony hangs a lampshade on it, José leaned into playing a nine year old, and that works better for me. The audience LOVED Eliza’s beatboxing. And Karen and Ari are SO. GOOD. TOGETHER.

Say No To This: Samantha Ware definitely plays Maria as more complicit in the blackmail. You can tell she LIKES AHam, but she’s also an adult who knows what she’s doing the whole time. I LOVED that play on it--very different from Jasmine, but equally nuanced and interesting.

Room Where It Happens: SO GOOD. I know I keep typing that in all caps but IT’S TRUE especially when it comes to Daniel’s Burr. It’s like he so genuinely was shocked and needed to figure this out. There was so much energy at the end and his final verse with slightly different choreography was sooooooo great.

Schuyler Defeated: Good job everyone.

Cabinet Battle #2: “France” was so good, like Madison wasn’t sure if he was supposed to reply once the mic was in his face. He almost missed it. A+.

Washington On Your Side: THIS WAS GREAT. I loved TJeff’s fast verse in the middle, his realization that he needed to resign made him wide-eyed and bowled over. Madison directed his “which I wrote!” at TJeffs and Burr, when he’s directed it off stage the last few times I’ve seen it, like he was finishing an argument with people and then wandering into this song. Burr was def stirring shit at the start when he went up to TJeffs.

One Last Time: ALSO SO GOOD EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD SORRY. I loooooved GWash’s “talk less” which was much more sarcastic/bemused than Chris’ frustration on that line. His GWash overall had that much more fatherly feeling to him. His riffs at the end were amazing--he went full gospel and he def had a powerful enough voice for it.

I Know Him: Good, etc.

The Adams Administration: King George is much more involved in this number than he’s been any other time I saw it. I didn’t dislike that? I’m neutral on it.

We Know: Good. One of my other fave lines is in this song and I wasn’t super into the delivery of it, but overall it was suitably foreboding.

Hurricane: Beautiful. I really felt it on the heels of AHam’s desperation/defensiveness in Act 1. I totally get why he would do this, even more so than usual. And there was def a little spite thrown in with his other reasons, just for good measure, which is #relatablecontent.

The Reynolds’ Pamphlet: Samantha Ware’s forced “haha NOTHING TO SEE HERE” smile added to the “she’s complicit” vibe. José was great, King George and TJeffs were HILARIOUS.

Burn: SO FUCKING GOOD. SHE WAS SO ANGRY AND UPSET. I LOVED IT. Her “I hope that you BURN” at the end gave me chills and seemed ten times more vengeful and furious than any other performance I’ve seen, which I am INTO. Give me more furious, vengeful Eliza.

Blow Us All Away: mostly fine. Philip could have been a little suaver. “Everything is legal in New Jersey” was great, I have yet to hear a bad delivery of that line, though I may be biased.

Stay Alive (Reprise): SHE SCREAMED A LITTLE! Not the full on shriek, but a tiny anguished scream and that is ALL I WANT. It totally worked for me and was one of the two things I REALLY missed from Lexi’s performance.

Quiet Uptown: Not as emotional, and not in a bad way. Everyone was a little more in control, which is a legit way to play it--more numb than hysterical. As a result, I stayed more together than usual. Karen has a great voice, obvs.

Election of 1800: Burr was all exhausted for the whole thing and I loved it. I loved his eavesdropping on the voters. Madison’s delivery of “you worked on the same staff” was great. I kind of wanted more from Burr’s face after he lost b/c he was SO EXPRESSIVE for the rest of the show. The “because I’m the President” bit was good overall, though no one will ever beat Chappelle’s delivery of that line. Burr sucking up to TJeffs and the way TJeffs and Madison broke away to have that conversation like Burr wasn’t right there. Loved it!

Your Obedient Servant: FUNNY esp because Burr is SO MAD and then so sweet on that closing lines. His "Sweet Jesus" was great. 

Best of Wives, Best of Women: I teared up. Ari and Miguel had such lovely, loving chemistry.

The World Was Wide Enough: Very good on all sides--Daniel killed it. I teared up on “Eliza!” as usual, which started tears #1. Tears #2 is “They say Angelica and Eliza.” I never noticed before how everyone gathers around Burr at the end. The end of the song was so painful and emotional, I lost it again on “The world was wide enough...” it was SO full of emotion.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: I BURST into tears on “Eliza!” here too. and then just sobbed through the end. Karen was SO angry at the start of the song and that worked so well. And Ari did the look and the gasp and I am CRYING AGAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT (Lexi also didn’t do the gasp when I saw her and I’m slightly bitter). Then I cried for like, five solid more minutes.

Cast

Miguel Cervantes: He’s SO TINY? SO. TINY. His Hamilton is SO angry and scrappy. He def plays Ham as defensive of everything. He was incredible. He had amazing chemistry with Ari and Karen and José and a great rapport with Burr and Washington. He was SUPER flirty with the girls. His delivery of “I’m not stupid” was fab, said very plainly and directly. He had SO MUCH emotion during things like “Yorktown” and “Non-Stop.” The way he taunted Burr in “Room Where It Happens” was great--you could see his slow slide from “I want to be this guy’s friend!” to “my asshole frenemy.”

Daniel Breaker: I would kill a man for Daniel Breaker? Holy shit, I loved him so much. Like I said, his Burr is more sarcastic and funny, more personable, more goofy, using sarcasm to keep everyone at arm’s length. He was definitely invested in AHam and the gang, but kept himself at a distance. His face was AMAZING, his facial expressions were worth the price of admission. He really connected with Burr in “Wait For It.” He was so angry and betrayed at the end, and watching that drift into regret was beautiful. His “WAIT!” was chilling.

Ari Afsar: I LOVED HER. Great transition from innocent and excited and enthusiastic and lovestruck to more mature to stoic and angry. She was very physically affectionate with Ham and their love was very believable and sweet. She did the scream and the gasp, which, as I said, are so important to me. During the finale, she perfectly melded the innocence and joy of act 1 with the maturity and determination of act 2. Eliza is a kind of thankless role and it’s difficult to put enough into it to shine, I think, but she nailed it.

Karen Olivo: I WOULD KILL A MAN FOR KAREN OLIVO. She’s maybe my favorite Angelica? I liked her better than Mandy, whom I LOVED, and maybe even more than Renee. I need to listen to/watch Renee again. But. WOW. Her “Satisfied” is so different--her whole interpretation of the character is so different! Her Angelica is much more animated and nosy and involved. She had amazing chemistry with Miguel and with Ari. “Schuyler Sisters” was WILD and ENERGIZED and excited. When she came out for WLWDWTYS, I was honestly shocked by how fierce she was.

Jonathan Kirkland: I was a little unsure of him when he first came out, but he totally sold me. His GWash was incredibly paternal, something Chris flirted with, but there was definitely a delineation there between family and duty. Jonathan plays it much more familial, which was really cool and obvs hit my found family buttons like whoa. You could tell how genuinely he cared for AHam as a person. He was more amused than annoyed by a lot of AHam’s shit. He also felt OLDER than the rest of the cast, but in a different way than Chris did.

Chris De’Sean Lee: SO GREAT. His French accent was so good--better than Daveed’s--and his rapping was A+. He’s definitely my second favorite Lafayette. He was very playful. His Jefferson was very good, but not as good as I wanted it to be? There was a little something missing in comparison to Daveed and Chappelle.

Jean Godsend Floradin: He was an understudy and I was SO SURPRISED because he really owned the role! He was tinier than the traditional Oak!sized Mull/Mad in my head, but just a fierce and scrappy. His verse in “Yorktown” was intense and he was so funny as Madison. He had great partner-in-crime chemistry with Laf/Jeff.

José Ramos: His rapping voice was incongruously deep! But he really established the angry shit-stirring recklessness of Laurens. His Laurens was FIRED UP to kick ass and take names. He was also SO SMALL compared to everyone but AHam, but ESPECIALLY compared to Lee. “Ten Duel Commandments” was so funny when they were back to back. He was fierce, though. His death scenes were a little too wistfully smiley to me, but still better than Thayne’s Musical Theatre Smile death scenes. Philip was GREAT--he leaned into the tininess at the start of the act. He was great during “The Reynolds Pamphlet” and his interactions with AHam were great.

Samantha Marie Ware: REALLY GREAT. I saw Sasha Hutchings as Peggy/Maria and was not so impressed. It’s a tough, thankless role and hard to make something of it, I think. Jasmine, of course, completely turns the role into a highlight of the show, but it’s not easy. Samantha NAILED IT. Her Peggy was almost argumentative in “Schuyler Sisters” and her Act 1 interactions with everyone, esp the sisters, were great. Her Maria was AMAZING. She played Maria as at least partially complicit, but with mixed feelings and it worked SO WELL for me. 

AND THAT’S THAT. We didn’t stage door because we literally forgot that was a thing, we were so pumped from the show. Let me know if you have any questions, I am HAPPY TO ANSWER THEM to the best of my ability! 

[did-you-even-make-a-sound]

All the love asks??

O, hell-kite! All? (Heheeeeh theatre jokes-)Blush : What do you do when you have a crush on someone?Oh man, I completely freeze up! Unless they're a really close friend *coughcoughcurrentcrushcoughcough*
Kiss : What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?Hmm...I would say when my best friend turned up with a massive teddy bear for me the day after I got dumped ^^
Cuddle : Which one of your mutuals do you really want to hug right now?I...I don't really know. I'd love to be friends with my mutuals, but...well, I'm shy to initiate conversation, and...none of them have yet. I would love to chat at any time, though!
Heartbeat : What fictional character do you love?C O N N O R M U R P HY
Romance : Perfect date?Aaah~~ a movie date at their/my house, or just driving/walking listlessly around with no destination...yeah, that's it.
Joy : What truly makes you happy?What truly makes me happy is definitely making friends with my followers. HINT HINT I WOULD LOOOVE TO CHAT TO Y'ALL ❤️❤️
Happiness : Who are your kin?I am kin with: Connor Murphy, Veronica Sawyer, Jack Kelly, Angelica Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton.
Love : Are you, or have you been, in love before?Well...Let's just say...yeah. I was, but...he left me.
Beloved : What do you love the most about yourself?I like my eyes. I like my gentleness. I like how I'm pretty smart.That's it, really.
Sweet: Favorite love song?Oh my god!!!! How do I choose?! Hmmm...On Melancholy Hill; Gorillaz, or Only Us from DEH.
Cute : What’s your aesthetic?Aw man, it changes a lot! I either go for a pastel pink, or a dusty lilac. Or black. Black is good.
Thoughtful : If you could change your name, what would you call yourself?Hmm...Georgie!
Charming : Who helps motivate you?My followers and my friends. Definitely.
Beautiful : Who is your ideal significant other?*glances at my profile picture**glances at my sketchbook**glances at the onE GUY I REBLOG/POST A LOT ABOUT**sweats*
Affection : Who do you ship?Tbh literally everything.
Kind : What Pokemon would you be?Eevee!
Heart Beat : You’re getting coffee with a celebrity, who is it?I don't drink coffee, but...let's say I get a hot chocolate with Mike Faist.
Giggle : Do you believe in love at first sight?Absolutely!
Laughter : Who can always make you laugh?Definitely Will Roland. Or Bo Burnham.
Smile : What do you find attractive?A sense of humour...a nice smile...long hair...yo I'm not even trying to make this about Mike I swearI just find these attractiveOH LETS NOT FORGET — BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS!!!
Warmth : What is your happy place?My room, probably.
Huggable : What are your favorite flowers?Hmm...violets!
Soul Mate : Who is your best friend?My bestie, Ayesha!
Unique : What qualities do you look for in other people?Oh, friendliness...warmth, humour, all that good stuff.
Trust : Do you trust people easily?Too easily, I'm afraid...
Dearest : What item is most dear to you?My sketchbook!

[toonelemental]

your-friend-kitet replied to your post “whowasphoone replied to your post “im curious about the fictionkin...”

what's especially dumb about this anon, is that, there ARE people out there who id as real living people, but they aren't fictionkin, they're "factkin". (shrugs)

Yeah, that’s why I was wondering about even bothering to dignify it with an answer.

Most people who are otherkin kinda...really dislike factkin though? Like, as a concept? That’s my understanding at least. I don’t know much about that subset of people, but conceptually it seems weird and uncomfortable to me.