#Then end of February/first half of March came and my apathy levels are through the roof again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amtrak12 · 2 years ago

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Since I can’t tell if my current depression wave is because it’s March and 30 degrees F outside or because of my new (old) birth control -- I have taken to giving myself assignments like read one Lucifer fic a day so I can retrain my brain to be happy.

My second assignment is to not get bitter over having to treat fic reading like brushing my teeth when it was my favorite thing to do for years and years and years. But alas, if I don’t force myself to read fic, then it won’t happen and then the happy hormones don’t go zipping through my head :(

#in January when I was on month two of no birth control it felt like I was fucking buzzed all the time #I swear I hadn't been that happy since like freshman year of college #I was doing all kinds of shit AND reading fic willingly without any issue #now I'm on month two of a birth control I was on pre-pandemic and I don't remember having any side effects with it #which is why I asked to be put back on it #And I was still pretty good for the first few weeks!#Then end of February/first half of March came and my apathy levels are through the roof again #but is that just seasonal depression????#who can tell #not me #so until the weather warms up daily assignments to read a fanfic it is #Tonight's assignment went super well actually. I immediately read 4 more fics after the first one #fingers crossed that becomes a trend!

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