#Theme of Laura almost won out over True but I felt like True fit the general vibe of the playlist better

[briangroth27]

Supergirl Season 2 Review

Supergirl felt a lot more natural for The CW than CBS, so I was glad it made the move this season. While remaining on its own Earth, I'm glad the show has increased potential to cross over with the other Arrowverse now. I was sure the Invasion crossover would be a Crisis that blended Earths-1 and -38, and I'm glad I was wrong. This way, Supergirl can build its own world while still interacting with Earth-1. And the world building they did in Season 2 was great!

Full Spoilers…

Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl Kara (Melissa Benoist) setting out at the beginning of the season to find out how to be "Kara Danvers" was perfect, given CatCo Kara was such a real, learned personality last year—not a mask like "Clark Kent" is, which I’ve long thought is a brilliant character choice—and it felt like the right time to develop that part of her life. Kara's reasons for wanting to be a reporter felt right to me, but unfortunately this arc ended up being underserved in the latter half of the season. It started strong, but I feel like the season lost direction for “Kara Danvers” along the way. Perhaps this was due the fact that the villains were driven by Supergirl’s influence on their children and the world moreso than anything Kara did at CatCo. Perhaps if Kara had been working to expose Cadmus or Rhea (Teri Hatcher) as an alien through journalism, that arc would’ve remained strong the entire year. That said, I loved that the season focused on Kara’s influence on others, specifically how her relationships with Lena Luthor (Katie McGrath) and Mon-El (Chris Wood) made them better people. The entire Super family is built on believing people can be better and inspiring them to do so, making this a solid theme to cover on Supergirl.

One part of being “Kara Danvers” that hasn’t been covered yet is the darker side of that prospect. Season 1 revealed that Jeremiah (Dean Cain) and Eliza Danvers (Helen Slater) essentially raised Kara to be a human first and a Kryptonian never, given the world already had Superman (Tyler Hoechlin) and they wanted her to walk under the radar. We got a taste of Kara not seeing the Danvers through rose-colored glasses when Jeremiah was working for Cadmus and Kara noticed something was wrong almost immediately. I’m not saying this came from retribution on her part—he is a father to her and the human conditioning wasn’t malicious—but I think there could be some resentment hidden under her surface that needs to be explored. I think we need to see more of Kara confronting her parents about raising her to be someone she’s not, and doing so this year would’ve been a strong parallel arc to Alex’s (Chyler Leigh) coming out story. Supergirl is closer to Kara’s origins than the woman the Danvers raised and has seemed like Kara's way of finding her true self and owning her power up until now. So, while “Supergirl is what I can do, Kara is who I am” is true—and Kara Danvers has been growing to be more assertive as she's gotten more comfortable being out with her powers/heritage as Supergirl—I feel like we've maybe missed seeing scenes where she started seeing CatCo Kara as her real self and Supergirl as just what she can do. Now that she’s gotten to team up with her more famous cousin and save him from Silver Kryptonite (in a fantastic fight!), I hope the hero worship has worn off so we can see Kara confront Clark about abandoning her with the Danvers. Alex brought up the fact that he ditched her this year, but Kara didn’t follow up on it. Coupled with the fact that Kara’s entire mission in coming to Earth was to protect and raise Kal-El, confronting him over the idea that he apparently couldn’t be bothered to return the favor would make for some great drama. I love it when the show balances Kara’s sunny optimism and hope with the fact that she’s faced real tragedy in her life—anytime she tries to talk with her mother’s AI (Laura Benanti) but is met with the computer’s inability to return any emotion is perfectly bittersweet—and I hope the writers continue to mine that drama in every aspect of Kara’s life. The reveal of what kind of man Zor-El (Robert Gant) really was worked against Kara’s memories of him, so I hope they continue to explore that as well. I don’t ever want the show to be as dark as Arrow, but a Flash-like balance of lightness tinged with tragedy would be ideal. I think they’re moving in that direction this season compared to last, so I’m hopeful they’ll explore these drama-rich story threads. Benoist is perfect as Kara and I’d love to see what she can do with personal conflicts like these!

In the move to The CW, some plotlines and characters were quickly shuffled away or undone outright, the biggest being Kara and James’ (Mehcad Brooks) relationship fizzling within the first hours of Season 2. I liked James and Kara’s budding romance in Season 1 and I shipped that relationship back then, but wasn’t heartbroken that they didn’t work out here. I’m glad they were both adults about it, respected each other, and remained friends, but I think that romance’s screentime in the first season deserved a longer fizzle, even if the relationship wasn’t going to last. Trying to make it work despite the dawning realization that they didn’t fit together would’ve paid off the investment Kara, James, and the fans put in last season, and it would’ve played into the realities of being human as Kara tries to “have it all” and realizes the parts don’t always fit together correctly: it’s completely realistic that even though something feels right, it doesn’t work for whatever reason. Maybe James’ secret life as Guardian and possible feelings of inadequacy over not doing as much good as Clark and Kara could’ve also driven their relationship to an early end, since he kept it a secret from Kara. Whatever would’ve finally ended the Kara/James relationship, we should’ve seen why it fell apart in more detail. If nothing else, I can safely say I truly believe James wanted nothing but the best for Kara, even if that wasn’t him.

The far more divisive relationship, Kara and Mon-El, started strong with her teaching him to be a better person and him revealing some uglier prejudices in Kara. I loved that the writers refused to make her hatred of Daxamites a one-and-done issue; instead, it was clearly something she struggled with every day. I didn’t want them to date from day one, but I admit that things like them playing Monopoly, their fun training sessions, and their good chemistry made the idea grow on me. I just didn’t think Kara needed a relationship with her trying so hard to figure out how to balance her Kara and Supergirl lives. I liked that she was struggling to be a reporter and to find out who “Kara Danvers” could be, and she never needed a guy for that. It also didn’t help that Mon-El was so tied to her alien self, which necessarily pulled focus from her Kara Danvers side for the vast majority of his appearances. I believe everyone can improve, and I absolutely believe he genuinely did try to be a better person, so I didn’t have a huge issue with them dating; I just wish they’d kept focus on the rest of her life too. That said, I was pleasantly surprised she asked Mon-El point-blank if he had feelings for her and even more surprised the writers almost never let Kara let Mon-El get away with the problems he brought to their relationship. Every single time—except once, post-breakup—she called him on his crap and he was forced to better himself. Mon-El was legitimately a possessive and jealous jerk at first, and while Kara looks for the best in people and believed he could be a better person—so she probably gave him more slack than a lot of people would have—she always stood up for herself and didn’t lower her standards or feel like a pushover. I really liked that, so I was disappointed when their breakup ended so abruptly with the musical crossover with Flash. Unlike Barry (Grant Gustin) and Iris’ (Candice Patton) breakup, Kara and Mon-El’s didn’t feel like a mistake, but like Kara had finally reached the limit of her patience and wouldn’t put up with his issues anymore. His silent admission that he might not have ever told her the truth about being the Prince of Daxam should’ve been the final nail in the coffin, so a magic declaration of love from him (literally the next day in our time, even if it was longer for them) shouldn’t have changed her mind. She did make a comment about dropping a mountain on Mon-El if he lied again, but I felt like there needed to be a bigger conversation between them in the wake of their breakup instead of a quick scene in the next episode where it seemed like him super-loving her and making her a big breakfast made up for everything. It’s one thing for her to have hope in his potential, but another thing entirely to expect her to keep dating him while he continues screwing up in increasingly bad ways. It’s a shame that got swept under the rug so fast, presumably so the drama with Mon-El’s parents wanting to take him away would be bigger. I would’ve liked a twist in “Duet” where the reality of the non-musical world hit Kara and Mon-El to show that the Music Meister might be wrong on this count (a suggestion I liked from Twitter was that Alex’s sisterly love for Kara could’ve been just as strong as Barry and Iris’ romantic love). As much as I was won over by their chemistry, I wouldn’t mind if Mon-El’s banishment prevented him and Kara from getting back together for a long time, if ever. I’m not sold on Mon-El as Kara’s endgame relationship at all (to Benoist and Wood’s credit, though, they made me feel the sadness of his banishment in the finale); it feels too early in the series for that and I’d like to see her date Brainiac 5 or someone else. If Mon-El changes on his journey, we’ll see if that will change my mind on whether I’m reinvested in a future for Kara with him.

One other thing I thought would’ve improved the Kara/Mon-El relationship is the two of them sharing their cultures with each other. Not only would it have been an excellent opportunity for Kara to re-embrace her Kryptonian culture (something I’ve wanted from day one), but it would’ve paralleled real-life relationship culture clashes perfectly to see him wanting to have Daxamite holidays and her preferring to celebrate the Kryptonian way. Those could’ve been fun, relatable speed bumps in their relationship that didn’t rely on Mon-El being a work in progress and would’ve gone a long way to show that—with some shared culture between these neighboring races—there were bigger reasons Kara felt a stronger connection with Mon-El (another member of an endangered species) than James or anyone else she’d dated so far. Seeing more of what Kara lost would also help connect Rhea’s crusade to Kara, giving us a greater instinctive understanding of what the villain was trying to recapture, since we would’ve seen Kara trying to reestablish that for herself throughout the year. It also would’ve connected Kara more strongly to Lillian Luthor’s (Brenda Strong) quest to preserve Earth culture in the face of the alien immigrants.

Like her issues with Daxamites, I loved that Kara’s growing proficiency as a journalist was a hard road to travel. It would’ve been so easy to paint Snapper Carr (Ian Gomez) as irrationally angry like J. Jonah Jameson can be sometimes and allow Kara to ignore his rules and impress him with her moxie or something, but making him right almost every time forced her to grow, just like Mon-El truly wanting to be better forced her to reevaluate her thoughts on Daxamites. For example, even if she knew she was right about a story, there were still journalistic standards she had to abide by. It was also really smart to take Cat’s (Calista Flockhart) offer of any job Kara wanted and turn it around on her as a sign of unearned privilege. I wanted to see more of Kara learning how to be a journalist—I’d even hoped Iris would give her a few pointers in either crossover—and I feel like this was the plot that dropped the ball most this season. While her job as a reporter allowed for some classic superhero undercover work, like visiting Alex and Maggie at a crime scene for a story, it felt like this plot fell to the wayside too often. I don’t know why Kara didn’t continue to work as a blogger after getting fired for posting a story despite Snapper’s dismissal of it. The one time we saw her do just that, it was several episodes later and she got her job at CatCo back for it. In the meantime, I grew very tired of her just hanging out at her apartment with Mon-El instead of doing stories for her blog or even just looking for work (a single line about Snapper blackballing her would’ve been enough to solve that issue, at least). Kara even had a line about being happy she didn’t have a job because she could spend more time with Mon-El, and while I don’t think it was meant to be taken that she’d given up on work altogether—it played mostly like she was reaching to find the positive in the situation—this was about the time that he started to feel like he was holding her back instead of supporting her.

Kara’s Supergirl side fared much better this year. Lines like “It’s hope; how could it be false?” were the perfect encapsulation of what she stands for (along with incorporating her new motto, “Hope, Help, and Compassion for All”). There were several classic Super moments over the course of the season, including Kara “Doubtfiring” as both Supergirl and Kara Danvers at one of Lena Luthor’s events (though I would’ve liked an explanation for why J’onn (David Harewood) couldn’t double her again), Supergirl pulling off huge saves like rescuing a train and stopping a space ship from taking off, entertaining excuses like “Supergirl was getting coffee with Kara,” and fun investigative moments with Mon-El that reminded me of Clark and Lois’ interaction on Smallville and Lois & Clark. Bits like Kara standing up to alien guards without her powers were awesome and I’m always up for seeing Kara use her brain to defeat villains like Mxyzptlk (Peter Gadiot) over her fists. On that note, I feel like both this and (to a lesser extent) Flash have a tendency to make Kara and Barry just the muscle, if only so the rest of their teams have things to contribute (Kara's not really even the leader of her team, J'onn is). That's something I'd like to see remedied in both their upcoming seasons. Perhaps an arc towards leadership is part of Kara’s series-long growth, because we definitely saw her gain confidence this season when it came to her superheroics. Kara telling Wild Dog (Rick Gonzalez) she and Barry “feel like we help the world because we do” could’ve easily come off as pompous, but Benoist played it like hard-won confidence instead. That was a nice moment for her, considering how she spent most of Season 1 defending her effectiveness against what everyone thought of Superman; she’s clearly taking none of that anymore. I also wish more heroes would respond like this when confronted with allegations that they’re causing the problems they’re trying to stop. I liked that Kara came off the crossover feeling she should be doing more than just saving cash and jewels from common thugs; that felt real after getting a taste of larger threats. I loved how much focus they put on the effect Kara/Supergirl had on others: perhaps her greatest power, next to her compassion, is her ability to change hearts and minds and inspire people, so it's good to see the show didn't forget to include that…or villainous reactions to it.

Kara being so eager to jump in and help Barry without hesitation was perfect; I love their friendship and I hope we get many more crossovers (or even a CW Seed show like this). The two of them tag-teaming Cyber-woman (Erica Luttrell) and high-fiving was so fun, and their musical crossover was even better! Benoist and Gustin have excellent chemistry, so any time the two of them get to be super friends it’s a delight. On the other hand, I thought Kara’s frustration at Guardian picking up her scraps felt slightly out of place after the massive team-up of the Crossover, but I assumed that not knowing who he was after all this time was actually bothering her more. I loved her confrontations with James when she finally found out: they were very well-written and mature. I do wish he’d invoked Alex and the rest of the DEO as heroes who don’t have powers either, to which she could’ve responded that they’re extensively trained and he isn’t. That just felt like an exchange that could’ve fleshed out both their arguments a bit. I was glad the show took Kara’s side by having Guardian and Mon-El still need her help when Livewire (Laura Prudom) returned; Mon-El was too green and Guardian routinely takes severe beatings as it is, so they shouldn’t have been able to overcome villains with the power levels Kara usually faces. I’m glad Kara and James later came to a better understanding about his need to be Guardian; I thought that whole arc played out very well. I’d still like to see more from the lives of the other heroes Kara works with—the DEO agents—but I’m glad we finally got an official answer as to why Kara only sometimes wears her CatCo disguise at the DEO this year. I’d assumed it was an open secret, but it was nice to have it confirmed as common knowledge within the organization. I’d also like to see Kara take on a bigger leadership role with the DEO or at least as a superhero; moments like the first part of the season finale felt like she took a backseat to everyone else’s plans to deal with the Daxamites.

The aspect of Kara’s Supergirl life that didn’t feel like it got the attention it deserved was her willingness to kill or go along with plans that included killing enemies. Parasite (William Mapother) was her first kill, I believe, but the aftermath dealt with her being proud of Mon-El for being a hero, not the fact that she’d just killed a guy (even considering she warned him to stand down and he continued charging). I’m glad they didn’t try to justify it by saying “he’s not human anymore” (neither is she and aliens have been humanized on the show, so that excuse should never fly), but saying nothing didn’t feel right either and I think that should’ve been dealt with, particularly as she insisted they not kill Mxyzptlk in the very episode where he temporarily brought Parasite back to life. Kara was on board with at least seriously injuring the Dominators and outright killing any Daxamite who couldn’t get off Earth in time with the lead bomb, so the latter instance especially was another missed opportunity to clarify Kara’s morals. While Lillian could’ve brought up breaking the no-kill rule when she mentioned Kara’s politics in the finale (and Kara trying to peacefully persuade Rhea to stand down was a strong moment), I would’ve liked a scene where Kara’s adoration of President Marsdin (Lynda Carter) didn’t stop her from speaking against the plan to commit genocide. There’s also a dark grey area where Kara setting off the lead bomb lead to Rhea’s death, but it was Mon-El who refused to help her escape with the rest of the Daxamites. I do think Kara kicking all the Daxamites off the planet was a stronger moment than Lillian betraying everyone like I thought she would, but they absolutely need to dig into Kara having a hand in Rhea’s death next season. I think Kara and Barry should be heroes who don’t kill ever—they should always find the impossible solution no one else can think of—but if they’re going to, they absolutely need to deal with it. Perhaps they are, and Kara flying into the atmosphere in the final moments (and pushing back her human side in Season 3) is their spin on the Superman “Exile” storyline from the comics.

Alex Danvers I loved Alex’s story this year, with her coming to terms with her sexuality and building a healthy relationship with Maggie Sawyer (Floriana Lima). That was a well-crafted and solidly paced relationship that felt real—the best-written subplot of the season—and I’m very anxious to see if it will survive Maggie not being a series regular next year. Chyler Leigh’s portrayal of Alex’s coming out was excellent and immediately had me invested in them making it work. I was just as thrown as Alex was when Maggie initially shot her down and it was great to see Alex so happy with Maggie once they worked things out! I loved that this arc also brought Kara and Alex closer and paralleled Kara living with her secret, even if they didn’t dig into Kara’s side as much as I feel they could have. I’d missed those Danvers sisters couch moments, so it was nice to see them return. When Jeremiah came back working for Cadmus, both Benoist and Leigh were excellent at running the full gamut of emotions as the two sisters found themselves on opposite sides!

Alex was consistently awesome when it came to action sequences, like taking down Cadmus’ facility and keeping herself alive after being kidnapped. Creating a life jacket out of her pants was nothing short of brilliant! It’s no surprise that both Alex and Maggie were total badasses in the Daxamite siege, but that Alex/Kara “Meet me outside!” extraction from the compromised DEO was nothing short of spectacular! I do wish Alex could’ve taken part in the crossovers; I’d love to see her reaction to the Earth-1 heroes and ARGUS and she absolutely should’ve been a part of breaking Kara out of the Music Meister’s induced coma. That she wasn’t at least there to stay with Kara felt very wrong. I’d also like to see how Alex relates to the DEO agents besides J’onn and Winn (which was a fun, unexpected bit of chemistry), even if they’re just small moments. As second-in-command, she should know most if not all of them and it’d be fun to get glimpses into any friendships she may have at work.

J’onn J’onzz/Martian Manhunter I’m a fan of the calm, composed presence Harewood brings to J’onn and the fatherly relationship he has with Kara and Alex. That said, giving him some friction with characters who aren’t White Martians was a good change of pace. I liked J’onn’s established history with Clark and their problems over J’onn keeping a cache of Kryptonite, but at the end of the season’s first two episodes their issue was resolved too easily. Even though the tension was mostly external to the two of them—Superman was worried the order to use the Kryptonite against himself or Kara would come from J’onn’s superiors even if he knew the Martian wouldn’t use it himself—it seemed like it had existed for years, so just handing the Kryptonite back to Superman to resolve it felt a little underwhelming. I thought J’onn’s relationship with M’gann M’orzz (Sharon Leal) was much better developed, even if it didn’t go where I thought it would. J’onn’s relief and excitement over meeting another surviving Green Martian was palpable and it was nice to see him so thrown and hopeful at the same time. I’d expected something like Young Justice’s younger take on Miss Martian, so seeing her and J’onn start dating was a shock that I thought worked well regardless of my expectations. That whole arc gave J’onn some solid growth—his learning to trust a White Martian nicely paralleled Kara learning to trust a Daxamite—and I really hope she comes back often in Season 3.

J’onn made a comment this year about Kara helping him to accept himself, which was a nice touch, but I really wish we’d seen more of that either this year or last. That could’ve been a cool counterpoint to Kara digging into Kara Danvers this year, to Alex dealing with her sexuality, and to Kara helping Mon-El to acclimate to Earth. My least favorite J’onn moment this year also involved Kara, when he told Mon-El to keep her under control and safe; in no world would that need to happen. That felt way out of character, even for a protective father figure like J’onn. I really enjoy J’onn’s easy friendship and rapport with Jeremiah, so it was a shame for things to go the way they did when Jeremiah turned on everyone to protect his daughters from Cadmus. I thought his motives seemed more sinister than that explanation, but I hope he and J’onn can repair this rift. I would’ve liked to see a similar rift explored further between J’onn and Alex when he impersonated Jeremiah to test her loyalty. The pull between her two “dads” could’ve made for some interesting drama. It also would’ve been nice to see when Alex and J’onn got back to running the DEO. Even though their search for Jeremiah was cut short last year, there was a slightly awkward jump from Lucy Lane (Jenna Dewan Tatum) running things to them taking over again. I assume Lucy is still running the DEO’s cave bunker, but some mention of her current status would’ve been nice.

Lena Luthor Katie McGrath seemed to have a blast playing Lena and she got some great lines, like "That's the difference between us: I've never stood behind a man" and responding to "I'm a black belt” with “I'm a Luthor!” I really liked McGrath as Lex Luthor’s sister and I loved that Kara found real friendship with her. It was cool that Kara talking to and trusting this Luthor made things turn out differently than between Clark and Lex. I feel like Superman might unintentionally come off as high and mighty whereas Supergirl doesn’t, so simply talking and listening may have made all the difference here (to say nothing of the fact that Lena has a much smaller ego than Lex). I certainly hope Kara and Lena’s friendship continues, and that Kara’s trust in her is justified. Lena’s a great improvement over Max Lord (Peter Facinelli) and I liked that she was genuinely trying to redeem the Luthor name, though the show was smart about playing her intentions close to the vest early on, like when she set a trap for a gang of thieves when it seemed like she was setting one for Kara. It was funny to me how closely Lena’s history and the Luthor vibe in general paralleled Tess’ (Cassidy Freeman) past and the Luthors (Michael Rosenbaum, John Glover) on Smallville, as did James telling Kara that Clark and Lex used to be best friends. The Luthor mansion even looked like it could’ve been a room from the Smallville mansion. I loved Smallville, so stylistic shout outs like that and Lillian getting her name from that show made me smile.

I wonder what Lena will get up to now that she knows she’s the only one who can access Lex’s bunkers assuming he has others). There was a scene with a chess board that seemed to imply she thought of Supergirl as “her” knight, and I wonder if that will come to mean more than “Supergirl’s in my corner.” I don’t want her to follow Lex’s path, though. I liked that Rhea used Lena’s need for a positive parental figure to win her over and that was a smart plot connection between the season’s two villains, even if Rhea and Lillian didn’t get to meet face to face. I was also impressed Lena so quickly uncovered Rhea’s real identity and kicked her out. After being kidnapped and almost forced to marry Mon-El, Lena casually strolling down an alien hallway while he struggled to take out a Daxamite guard was funny, as was hacking a computer terminal with her tiara. Since Lena knows Mon-El is an alien and has met him as “Mike,” she has to at least strongly suspect Kara is Supergirl, right? I liked Lillian’s reasoning for not telling Lena about Kara, but I don’t think Lena will have the negative reaction her mother is hoping for.

James Olsen/Guardian I thought getting to run CatCo was a nice extension of James trying to do more than photography last season, but this plot was far too rushed and ignored in favor of Guardian to really work. They should’ve spent more time with James learning the ropes at CatCo before switching to trying to be a vigilante upon realizing he still doesn’t feel like he’s doing enough. Even if he totally failed at running the place, they should’ve stuck with the plot (which also could’ve opened avenues for Kara to spend more time there). Snapper’s curt reactions to how James wanted to run things worked just as well as they did for Kara (for as long as they lasted, anyway): again, he was in the right and James had to learn from him. 

Despite rushing through the CatCo business to get to it, I think Guardian’s the strongest material James has had on the show so far. I didn't think I'd be down with Olsen trying to be a vigilante, but Brooks’ acting and the writing in scenes where he had to justify himself to Winn (Jeremy Jordan) and Kara brought me around. I thought tying so much of his vigilantism to his father’s camera was a little heavy-handed, but I liked the idea behind honoring his dad. It also makes sense that he'd want to do more when all his best pals are superheroes. James' insecurities over people's love of the Supers vs. their fear of him played really well into classic Jimmy's persona and subtly reflected the double standards real-life society puts on white and black criminals (routinely showing black kids' mugshots and white kids' graduation or Facebook Profile pictures on the news, for example). I don’t think the people of National City were scared of him because he's black of course, but I do think there was a parallel to that in there. On a general superhero level, this was a really effective way of displaying why Kara and unmasked heroes inspire trust and hope while angry masked vigilantes don't; disputing the effectiveness of Batman (at least in a place like National City) without actually needing Batman. It was also cool that Guardian got to touch on the importance of representation in our superheroes, since Marcus (Lonnie Chavis) would only open up to James because he saw something familiar in him. I’m interested to see where they’ll take Guardian, but I’d like them to balance that with James at CatCo so he can interact with people as a reporter (or similar position) again; he seemed to miss just talking to people and hearing/telling their stories.

Winn Schott Winn working with the DEO is exactly what I was hoping for from his character and I'm glad they did it. He makes so much more sense there than at CatCo. I would've liked to see his official recruitment, but ultimately that didn’t matter. And who knew Alex and Winn would have such great chemistry? Winn’s interactions with James were also very well done; Winn yelling at James to cool his jets until the Guardian suit was complete was his second-best moment on the series (the first was everything involving his father last year). Winn’s concern for his friend was palpable and raw, and I’m glad that the Guardian plot brought these moments out for both of them. It was also a plus that they weren’t stuck in a love triangle again, since that defined their characters so much in Season 1.

Working with the DEO seems like it made Winn grow up a lot and I was impressed. His dating advice to Mon-El was actually really good. I’m glad that his almost childlike wonder didn’t go away with his newfound maturity either; his reaction to meeting Superman was perfect (as was Clark’s simple kindness in the face of that fanboy love), and there was such love in his eyes when Mon-El came to save him while quoting Star Wars. After hating him and his toxic crush on Kara last year, I’d say Winn is easily the most-improved character this season.

Mon-El At first, I thought Mon-El was the weakest link of the season, since Cadmus was more compelling and the reaction he provoked in Kara—her struggle with her anti-Daxamite prejudice—was more interesting than he was as a character. His adjustments to Earth culture were fun and it was nice to see Kara give mentoring a go, since that’s why she was sent here, but I didn’t want them to date (even seeing the Romeo/Juliet plot coming with Krypton and Daxam). I felt their chemistry felt more like an older sister/younger brother at first but it changed over the course of the season and their cuter moments won me over. I was surprised he was so shy about remembering their first kiss, but maybe not just announcing it and demanding what he wanted was one of the first signs that he really was changing. It’s worth noting that Kara was right about him becoming a better person: his honesty about being so possessive on Daxam being the “easier” path meant he’s genuinely trying not to be that person anymore. I absolutely disagree with a large section of the internet’s assessment that he was abusive to Kara; certainly not physically, he wasn’t emotionally manipulative, and she never let him get away with anything in their relationship (until “Duet,” which I’ve already stated was a problem, but I don’t think it was abuse). Even though I ultimately enjoyed their chemistry and relationship (minus the post-musical reunion and him potentially holding her back job-wise), I would’ve been fine with Mon-El going off to build a better Daxam. If M’gann can go help her people find a better way, why not him? He’d be fulfilling what Kara saw in him and had been nurturing all season. However, a permanent ban from the planet does make for more drama and it didn’t seem like the Daxamite army was going to listen to a kinder, gentler Mon-El anyway. According to the comics, he has a much bigger destiny in store, so it’ll be cool that Supergirl’s influence on him might essentially create the Legion of Superheroes on this Earth.

Maggie Sawyer I liked Maggie a lot; admittedly I don’t know much about the character in the comics, but Lima brought just the right mix of street smarts, compassion, and boldness to the role. She and Chyler Leigh also had great chemistry and I liked that Alex helped Maggie to open up again. I hope she returns early and often next season. I also hope she says yes to Alex’s proposal, but not answering and leaving it on a cliffhanger made me feel like maybe she won’t want to make that commitment. That’d be sad; it’s clear she loves Maggie and I can’t imagine why she’d say no. We’ll get to meet Maggie’s dad this year, so I can’t see how that affects her relationship with Alex. Regardless, it’ll be really good to dig into her personal life a bit more.

Beyond a stellar arc with Alex, the other invaluable thing Maggie brought to the show was the woman on the street perspective. Outside of people like Cat Grant and Max Lord commenting on Supergirl last season, we didn’t really get an in-depth look at what the citizens thought about Kara’s alter-ego. Even CatCo’s employees and Kara’s fellow DEO agents seem detached in this area and don’t really seem to have opinions (something I’d like to see remedied), but Maggie brought all that to the show and into Kara’s face. I loved that she introduced a “how legal are Supergirl’s arrests?” question and I hope they continue to explore things like that. Supergirl swooping in and stopping a hostage situation Sawyer and the National City PD had been working on for hours—frustrating Maggie—was another great point of conflict. Questions about the best use of superheroes’ time—should they just stick to fighting supervillains or should they handle street-level crime that’s beneath their powerset?—aren’t often asked in movies and TV, and I hope that Maggie continues to bring these questions up. The question of how much Kara should be helping National City before she stunts its growth is a fascinating one, and Maggie is just the person to ask it.

I also liked Maggie and Kara clashing over the best way to save Alex when she was kidnapped and their eventual bond from the experience. It was cool that they learned from each other’s opinions on how to deal with the situation, and to see each of their struggles with breaking the law to rescue Alex. I did wish Maggie hadn’t bashed Kara’s glasses disguise, though. That’s something the show should lean into instead of calling it out as pointless; even having Maggie say something as simple as “once you know, it’s kinda obvious” would’ve been enough.

M’gann M’orzz/Miss Martian I was stoked for Miss Martian to appear on the show ahead of the season—she’s been one of my favorites since Young Justice introduced her to me—and Sharon Leal didn’t disappoint. She played the crushing guilt of being part of a race that tried to cleanse Mars of Green Martians (even if she herself didn’t want to participate in the slaughter) very well, to the extent that I think she was trying to goad J’onn into killing her when she served him up to Roulette (Dichen Lachman). That sort of pain and guilt was something I hadn’t seen in the character to this extent before and I was glad Supergirl dug into it. That she literally got trapped in a coma by her guilt, necessitating J’onn to go in and rescue her, was a brilliant way heal the rift between them and to externalize her turmoil (ironically by internalizing her psyche).

I was hoping Miss Martian would play a larger role this season, particularly that she and Kara could become close friends and bond over being aliens with powers on this planet. I’d still like to see that in the future; they’ve got so much in common yet are such opposites that it’d be a great friendship to explore. I was sorry to see M’gann head back to Mars, but I love the idea that she’s going to try and lead her people on a better path. I do think they laid it on a little thick about J’onn inspiring her to be a hero, though. She’d turned on her people to try and save Green Martians from death 300 years before she even met him! He inspired her to stop running and feeling guilty, sure, but she was a hero long before that. I can’t wait to see what she’s like after her mission is fully complete and I’m glad it has hope in people at its core; Kara would be proud! Her return in the finale with an army of reformed White Martians was a great surprise and an awesome sign that her mission isn’t hopeless!

Lillian Luthor I was surprised the cool, calculating, evil mad scientist leading Cadmus was Lena’s mom, but that was an awesome twist! Her mistrust of aliens makes so much sense when you consider she’s basically echoing what Lex is always spouting about Superman; he must’ve gotten it from her. Like the rest of the Luthor presence on this show, Lillian and Lena’s relationship felt right out of Smallville’s Luthor playbook, and that’s a great place to go for inspiration IMO. Her skewed view of Lex’s downfall was perfect and I really liked all her plans with Cadmus this season. I wasn't expecting telepathic murders and it was cool to see Cadmus using alien tech! Bringing her back to team up with Kara and the DEO against the Daxamites made perfect sense and I loved that Kara’s very existence was so against Lillian’s views. Not only did she represent the alien menace, but Kara “corrupted” her daughter away from the Luthor way of doing things, making Lillian’s vendetta against Kara both personal and philosophical. Brought to life by a perfectly evil performance from Brenda Strong, Lillian and Cadmus might be my favorite Supergirl villains so far.

Queen Rhea I definitely didn’t expect Teri Hatcher to be playing an alien here, but she was great and felt totally natural as a ruthless queen! Rhea worked really well as a parallel to Lillian—she was trying to protect her race and ended up “losing” her child to Kara’s influence—and as a good villain in general. I liked that Cadmus attacked what Kara is and her right to be here, while Rhea attacked who she is (both as a Kryptonian and a hero defending Earth) and both of them clashed with what Kara inspired in others. Positioning Kara between two women who believe in their planet before all others was a great idea, as was making it personal because they saw Kara as “poisoning” their children and turning them against them. I loved the revelation that Daxam was a party planet for the express purpose of keeping its population stupid and easily manipulated. Her plan to set Mon-El up as a “new” kind of leader while actually embracing the same old systems also felt like a clever spin on modern politics. I had a feeling Rhea would kill her husband (Kevin Sorbo), but I didn’t expect her reaction to Mon-El turning his back on them to include a trip in a cage back to New Daxam. I liked that for how similar she was to Lillian, Rhea was even more horrible when it came to her child disobeying her wishes. I also liked that Rhea seemed to genuinely respect Lena at least a bit; that added a layer to their interaction even if Rhea was also totally using Lena for her technology and as a symbolic sign of the union between Daxam and Earth. I expected her to have a secret army, but I didn’t expect so many ships! The invasion was a great step up from the Kryptonian attacks last year and while I would’ve liked Kara to use more ranged attacks like heat vision and ice breath in her final fight with Rhea (particularly after Rhea revealed her Kryptonite-laced blood), the season came to a very satisfying conclusion. I was hoping Rhea would survive the season and I was sorry to see her go. I also really wish they’d found a way to reunite Hatcher with Dean Cain on screen.

Cat Grant I missed the Cat/Kara mentoring scenes from Season 1, caused by Flockhart's reduced role due to the production’s move to Vancouver, but it was also good to shake up that area of Kara's life even more. Snapper challenged Kara in ways Cat never did, so losing Cat’s support at CatCo—particularly with James also distracted by his Guardian duties—was good for Kara. That said, Cat’s return in the final two episodes of the season was very welcome and I loved bits like her conversation with Kara outside the bar. Telling Kara what she’d learned about the secret to happiness—it’s human connection, so wanting to rescue the people she loved wasn’t selfish, it’s everything—was a great moment. Cat’s interactions with Winn and James at the DEO were great, particularly her recognizing James’ eyes through the slits in his mask. Her constantly hitting on Clark is fun too. Cat’s diffusion of the Marsdin/Rhea standoff felt a little cheesier; I liked the intent, but it felt like it went on for too long and I’m glad Rhea didn’t go for it. I will say that was one of several moments this season where I was acutely aware that there was no one but powerful women on screen, and that was an awesome realization! I wonder if Cat knows Clark is Superman, because she finally revealed that she knows Kara is Supergirl (to us, anyway). I didn’t need her to know, but I’m glad that question has finally been answered. I liked her parting advice and pep talk for Kara, and I definitely appreciated that it was a fire that pulled Kara away: she committed to her Kara Danvers persona by ignoring a fire when she was first hired by Cat, and now she’s fully embraced her role as Supergirl (and, from what we know of Season 3, she’s actively pushing away her human side).

Superman I like this version of Superman a lot. It was definitely time for us to meet him and he didn’t disappoint! Asking Kara to tell him about Krypton at the end of his second episode was a great touch; the fact that she knew things about Krypton that he didn’t was one of the areas Smallville failed to cover when they introduced Supergirl. I just wish we’d gotten to see that conversation. I also felt like they did an excellent job of showing Superman was the more seasoned superhero without making Kara look inept. Both onscreen and off, Hoechlin made a point to be clear that it was Supergirl’s show, and that definitely translated into his generous performance as Superman. Beyond that, from the superheroics to Kara’s frustration with everyone fawning over Superman (and Clark), his team-ups with Kara were simply fun. He also shared some great insight with her and I hope he gets to return next season. I thought for sure the WB wouldn’t let Supergirl use him much due to the Justice League movies—I even thought he’d die in the crossover if it were a Crisis—and I’m extremely happy to be wrong.

Eliza and Jeremiah Danvers It was good to see Eliza back and doing science with the DEO this year! I’d like to see her become a recurring consultant for the agency. Eliza telling Jeremiah that they needed “to learn each other again” when he suddenly reappeared was a brilliantly realistic way of handling his absence that totally took me by surprise. I’m sorry we didn’t get to see that this year and hope we do next year, even if it doesn’t end up working out.

Dean Cain should be on the show more often! I liked that they let him play some darker shades of Jeremiah this year and he did it well. I knew something was fishy the way Kara and Mon-El left Jeremiah in a hail of bullets that didn’t seem to be hurting him during their escape from Cadmus. I didn't expect him to be a cyborg upon his return, but I liked it. I was honestly surprised Jeremiah really was fully coerced to help Cadmus, since he’d seemed darker in the previous episode. I was sorry to see Jeremiah shuffled off into captivity again after the attempted alien exodus plot and I hope he comes back soon. His relationships with Kara, Alex, Eliza, and J’onn are still full of potential drama that could and should be mined in the near future.

President Marsdin Lynda Carter was good as President Marsdin and I liked the callbacks to her time as Wonder Woman ("You should see my other jet" and Kara putting out a fire by spinning). I loved that Kara was such a fangirl of her character, though like I said earlier, I wish they’d let Kara overcome that when it came time to plan the attack on the Daxamites. That said, I liked her motives for taking quick action; this is maybe the first time I’ve seen a "shoot first and kill them all" President's motives that didn’t play like they were evil and corrupt. I'm not sure I like that she's secretly an alien, though. It may’ve been a stronger arc if everyone knew she were an alien but not everyone was ready for an alien president (they’d have to say she was born on Earth, of course). I also feel like her pro-alien stance would mean more if she weren't an alien herself; aren’t all of her pro-alien policies going to be criticized as self-serving rather than truly progressive if she’s ever discovered? …Though that could also easily parallel backlash to President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and any other progressive politicians and policies that try to create equality instead of continuing to support systemic oppression of anyone who isn’t white, straight, and male. I wonder if she’ll be impeached if/when the general public finds out she's not human; that seems like a powder keg that has to go off. Could it be big enough to start a civil war?

Other Allies Meeting Zor-El was overdue and having him create Medusa was a smart twist. I hope he continues to appear, because we haven’t seen much of Kara missing her birth father yet. It was great to see Vasquez (Briana Venskus) back at the DEO; I’d still love an episode focused on her and other DEO agents to see how they view Supergirl and other heroes. Are they like Maggie, and think it’s annoying that the Supers swoop in to take the glory they’ve worked hard for? Are they bitter that she sometimes isn’t in as much danger as they are? The addition of Eve Tessmacher (Andrea Brooks) as Cat and James’ assistant was a fun shout-out to the Superman movies. I’d like to see her get some more depth, but I was glad that even though she was into “Mike,” she didn’t fight Kara over Mon-El. That was a smart move on the writers’ parts. “Clark’s friend” who projects fear and uses gadgets has got to be Batman, right? There were at least three references to him on the show this season. When can we get a Kara and Barbara Gordon/Batgirl team-up?

I initially thought Lyra (Tamzin Merchant) was a bounty hunter sent to capture Mon-El, then I thought they might be setting up a discrimination subplot about humans and aliens dating (I was looking for a larger use for her character beyond just dating Winn). I didn’t expect Cadmus to be trying to force her and all the other aliens off the planet! I wasn’t too invested in her pulling heists to save her brother—I think I’ve seen enough of Winn being in sad romances—but I was glad she turned out to be good in the end. Lyra getting angry at Winn when he told her she couldn’t fight crime with him and Guardian because she was too violent felt like it should’ve been more of a problem for James taking on a partner rather than leveraging her relationship with Winn for drama, so that wasn’t very successful in my eyes either. Any character can improve, so I’d be willing to see where they take her next year if they bring her back. Brian (Josh Hallem) the alien snitch is also a fun recurring character I wouldn’t mind seeing more of. I enjoy how easily he can bridge Maggie’s down-to-Earth police side, the DEO, and Supergirl’s more superhero-oriented worlds.

Other Villains Harewood may not like playing Hank Henshaw, but I think he’s entertaining. I do agree that the cybernetic eyepiece looks a little cheesy, but not too bad. I’d like to see more of Henshaw on his own and forming his own plots, though. I’ve long wanted to see Metallo explore the loss of humanity he felt on Superman: The Animated Series, but with John Corben (Frederick Schmidt) dead here and cybernetic body parts in great abundance, perhaps Henshaw could take that on instead. He’s got Metallo’s evil cyborg role down already and also has a personal vendetta/connection to J’onn. There’s definitely territory to explore with why he sees himself as an equal to Superman and his hatred of aliens. Perhaps he thinks cybernetic enhancements are the only way to keep up with the growing alien presence on Earth. Whatever the case, I’d love an episode devoted to exploring him.

I liked this version of John Corben. His origins mirrored the Animated Series well and he was fun cannon fodder. I liked Metallo's return and enjoyed the run-up to his "death"—who knows if he's really gone—but since they established that anyone can be a Metallo, I don't think he was as much of a case of missed potential as I did Parasite. I liked the vast majority of what they did with Parasite, with the exception of his death. Beyond the issues with Kara killing him (I wish they'd at least tried to contain him somehow), I think there was more to explore with Rudy Jones: the use/misuse of power could have more directly tied into Mon-El's arc and stealing power versus using it selflessly like Kara does would’ve been an interesting contrast. At least this Parasite was a member of an alien race, so they can always have another worm show up (the Thing homage was pretty cool!). Perhaps bits of him survived and infected the bystanders when he “died,” creating the other Parasites from the comics. At first I thought the climate change angle was a little weak (if timely), but then I realized it paralleled Kara's attempts to save the world. I also love that we got a full-on purple monster version of Parasite here!

The use of Livewire this season totally surprised me; I thought she was able to give her power to minions and didn't expect her to be the victim. That was a great twist! Kara's very-Return of the Jedi moment where she chose to believe the best in Livewire was also cool. I'd like it if Livewire became something like Kara's Captain Cold (Wentworth Miller), even if she never becomes as heroic as he did. Playing Mr. Mxyztplk as an insane Disney prince was a really fun choice! I hope he comes back, both because they can do anything with him and because he had great chemistry with Benoist. He allows for some great comedic moments and off-the wall Silver Age zaniness and they should lean into that. I’m always down for a White Martian invasion, and the Thing homage with a White Martian impersonating one of the DEO agents was great (as was Jeremy Jordan playing evil!). This version of Roulette was a good small-scale enemy. I’d like her to continue to return in any number of criminal enterprises; I like that she diversifies. I really liked the twist that Jack Spheer (Rahul Kohli) wasn't the bad guy he seemed to be and I liked his past with Lena a lot. Also, his sci-fi technology was so cool! Rick Malverne (David Hoflin), Alex’s stalker/kidnapper, was another surprisingly strong one-off villain. His connection to the Season 1 flashback of Kara saving people from a car wreck was clever, and I was impressed by how smart they made him. His back and forth with the DEO and unwillingness to break and tell them where Alex was unless his father was broken out of prison contributed to one of the show’s most dangerous villains yet. I loved that Kara was able to get through to his father (Gregg Henry) to eventually stop him before he killed Alex, and I’m glad that his memory was erased. He was a great villain, but I don’t think a return would have the same impact his actions in “Alex” did.

General Notes I liked the shift in filming style that came from the move to The CW. I don’t know if they’ve switched to the stunt teams the other CW DC shows use now or if they’ve just gotten more ambitious with using the full range of Kara’s powers mid-fight, but while they were never bad in Season 1 the fights looked even better this year! I rarely like slow-motion breaks in fights, but they weren’t too distracting here. I wouldn’t want them to become the norm, though. There was some spotty CGI, but it didn’t bother me; I’m amazed we’re getting such great comic book action on a weekly basis! And there was also some great CGI, like Parasite! The alien worlds and technology the show incorporated also felt realistic and tangible. I liked the new DEO building and the expanded use of the Fortress of Solitude as well. The locations they kept didn't look jarring compared to their location shots and the production seemed pretty smooth. The pacing on all of The CW’s superhero shows has always felt very good to me: though they’re only 42 minutes an episode, more often than not they feel like a lot happens in them.

The alien acceptance plot was well-written and nicely relevant to current politics. Personalizing it through Kara and Mon-El, J’onn and M’gann, Lillian vs. aliens, and Rhea vs. extinction was great too. After the Daxamite invasion, I can’t wait to see how human/alien relations develop in the coming season. The alien bar was a cool addition and I’d love to see more of the alien subculture that’s developing in National City, as well as humans’ reactions to it (both positive and negative). The mix of Cadmus in the first half of the season and Rhea in the second—united by the aliens vs. humans plot and themes—was a good start to breaking up the seasons. I still want long seasons, but one villain over the whole year might not always work and this was a good way to utilize two great enemies.

The finale’s siege of National City was awesome and I loved all the mini battles. I like that they took the time to have Clark and Kara convince Cat to disperse any potential bystanders too. However, I would’ve had the lead bomb go off on top of the building instead of in Lillian, Lena, and Winn’s faces. Lead’s toxic to humans too, so while I can by that this only increased the content in the atmosphere enough to kill Daxamites but not enough to poison humans, having it explode in their faces was a little too big a stretch.

I wish Supergirl had had more to do with the CW mega-crossover, but I liked that Barry and Cisco’s (Carlos Valez) attempts to open a portal to Kara’s dimension still played into the plot to a small degree. They even saved Kara at one point! It’s unfortunate the CW hyped it as a 4-show event so much and they included the Kara/Barry/Cisco scene in the Flash portion too, making Supergirl’s contribution to the crossover inessential. This was apparently caused because they’d planned the season out before they knew Supergirl would be moving, so hopefully viewers weren’t turned off and Supergirl is much more integral next season. That said, Kara meeting all the Earth-1 heroes and her reactions to them—particularly Heatwave’s (Dominic Purcell) origin—were perfect! It was clear the writers were having a blast pairing Kara up with all the other heroes and I’m definitely hoping we get more team-ups in the future. I’m glad the crossover ended with Kara able to dial up Earth-1 anytime she wants, so there’s no need for Barry or Cisco’s direct involvement due to a specific plot to justify her crossing over. Also, the LEGO Batman/CW heroes crossover ads after the episodes were so fun!

Despite some missteps in Kara’s arc—particularly her journalism career and an eventually problematic relationship with Mon-El—I thought this was a great season! It was an excellent step forward from last year (which I also liked a lot). I don’t remember anything about Reign (Odette Annable) from the comics, but I’m interested to see how she plays into Season 3.

I can’t wait to see what else the coming year brings!

[littlethoughtsandfeelings]

The Bachelor Australia 2017 Recap – Episode 2

Loving the quirky music for the opening. It fits perfectly to introducing us to the girls who are CASUALLY sitting around the house CASUALLY chatting. We have a recap from some Talking Heads (still no idea who is who) of the Dress-gate situation from last night. Apparently this is a very DRAMATIC and IMPORTANT thing, and we must never forget it.

In true form, Osher materialises from nothing delivering a date card, which he reveals is for a single date, and (surprise, surprise) everyone wants it.

SOMEONE (honestly they all look the same) opens the date card. The clue reads, “I felt a spark immediately. Let me see your wild side.” It’s nice that this card is definitely hand-written by Matty J with a quill as he gazes over the sunset, and not by some unpaid intern with coffee burns on their wrist.

Elora the fire twirler gets the date, and cue our Villain Number 2, Jennifer, being pissed.

Right, we’re wasting no time – we’re on the date already. Elora walks across the sand littered with a million seagulls, and it’s nice of the producers to work with Mother Nature in providing a rainbow for today’s date. (Side note: Remember those awful sponsorships that were in last year’s show? What if tonight’s episode just had a “Brought to you by… Mother Nature!” segment?)

Elora’s voiceover says that, “Finding the right love is the key to a good life”, and I just groaned so hard.

Matty and Elora greet each other with what can only be described as the preparation of a cartwheel, with both arms directly in the air, unmoving. They board a boat, which is not being used as a mode of transport as one might expect, but instead, IS THE ACTUAL DATE. Can you imagine if they just got in a car and sat in it? This is the equivalent of that. But on water. And with seasickness.

Matty, clearly on a sobriety streak, offers Elora orange juice, making up some bullshit thing about how it’s bad luck to cheers without alcohol. Elora quickly turns this into a positive, saying they should make it good luck instead. Nice one.

The two discuss Elora’s entrance (REMEMBER HOW CRAZYYYYY AND TOTALLY UNEXPECTED IT WAS?!?!?!) and it’s very boring and just to fill in everyone who didn’t watch last night’s episode.

Elora asks Matty how old he is, which, honestly Elora, there’s a level between stalking his Instagram every day for six months and this. You should have done some RESEARCH, girl. But then it’s revealed that SHE SPEAKS FRENCH AND IS SO EXOTIC AND GORGEOUS, and I forgive her.

Mother Nature does even better than the rainbow and bloody throws dolphins into the mix, and Matty and Elora watch them.

This. Is. A. Riveting. Date.

They both change into their swimwear and Matty J manages to sneak both a boob graze and an unblinking ass check-out in the space of a minute, so I’m guessing he’s pretty keen. They’re literally all over each other in the water, which is to be expected.

Back at the mansion, the girls bitch about Elora in completely useless ruminations and speculations which is such easy time-filler for the show. I’m not buying this anymore – it’s just so boringgggg.

Villain Number 1 and Villain Number 2 are conversing. They look like they’re in some kind of friendship group, which surprises me, given “friendship” falls right at the bottom of their list of priorities between “selflessness” and “generosity”.

Jennifer (Villain Number 1) admits that she will have to “destroy” Elora. This confirms my suspicion that Jennifer thinks she’s in a video game, which totally explains her one-dimensional BIG BADDIE personality.

Back at the boat (which still seems like it’s the whole date) Matty and Elora flirt with each other, which basically consists of them fake giggling and touching each other. They take pictures with a polaroid camera (for some reason), and I’m guessing she gets to keep these and put them under her pillow so she can kiss them before going to sleep each night.

STOP EVERYTHING. SHE GOT A FOREHEAD KISS. HE GAVE HER A FOREHEAD KISS. THEY’RE CUDDLING. GAME OVER. SHE HAS WON.

Just kidding, but I can attest that there is no greater sign of affection than a forehead kiss. 

Back at the mansion, Evil McEvilson has a new date card. It’s a group date, and the clue is about the first time they fell in love and blah blah blah we all know that it’s the cheerleading date so let’s just get this over with. 

Cobie, Elizabeth, Sian, Laura, Florence, Tara, Simone, Natalie, Leah, and Jennifer herself are all on this date. And don’t worry, I don’t know who half of them are, either. Are we sure they’re not just sneaking new girls in just to mess with us?

Jennifer’s self-described “posse” (not kidding, she actually said that) is together on the group date, and Jen says they’re going to get more time with Matty than all the other girls. This suggests to me some kind of group work going on, which although it will be a first for this show, honestly isn’t the worst idea. (I mean, it’s hardly a chocolate bath).

Back on the date and WAIT GUYS I TOTALLY SPOKE TOO SOON! The date consists of a boat ride, AND sitting on a couch in a different location (which I’m not entirely confident isn’t just below the boat deck).

Elora and Matty J cuddle on the SEXYTIME COUCH and gaze into each other’s eyes. They say they LIKE each other, but it isn’t the L word we’re all looking for.

They talk for what seems like is ten hours about what the other one is thinking. “Tell me what you’re thinking”, “Haha you tell me what you’re thinking”, “Haha stahp!” 

My face is deadpan.  

Then Elora’s talking head says they have “intense chemistry” and she could feel “her whole body heating up”. Now we’re talking! We might need to give them some space so we can finally see something happen on this show.

Unfortunately, before we can get to the action, Matty J’s talking head says he doesn’t want to rush things with Elora. It’s funny how the producers try and find some deep reasoning for each action (or non-action) Matty takes. Maybe he just didn’t feel like kissing her. Is that so crazy?!

And then, Elora asks about She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: Georgia. Finally, we might get some real drama instead of the contrived dramahhh! Hang on, I forgot what show I was watching. Apparently Matty saying he wants the best for Georgia is the most amazing thing a guy has ever said, and Elora fawns over it for about five minutes in a talking head.

So she hasn’t been in love since her first boyfriend, and she loves travelling. Man, they’re really trying to push this exotic gypsy/nomad vibe aren’t they? And, almost like I predicted it, Matty’s talking head says he wants to settle down, and he’s worried Elora has the wanderlust bug.

Matty says there’s a spark, and the date is pretty much over. (Side note: Is it just me being grumpy, or is this season soooooo boring so far?)

Oh wait, he offers her a rose, and I’m back in. She accepts it, and they have a cheek kiss and a quick hug.

Elora says she forgot about the rose and for once, my cynical heart believes her. Her talking head says it’s “getting scary really fast”, which is normally my reaction to all theme park rides, so you could say we have a lot in common.

Back at the mansion, the girls are CASUALLY sitting around CASUALLY talking about how long Elora has been gone. By total coincidence, Elora walks in! The girls ask if she kissed him, and she very cleverly doesn’t answer. Elora explains to the ladies that she might not reveal everything that happens between her and Matty J, and to mind their own gosh darn business. Seriously though, fair play to her. It’s always seemed weird and kind of masochistic to me to want to know what the other girls did with the guy you’re interested in.

The self-described “clique” Jennifer is a part of grill Elora and won’t let her answer properly, and honestly I’m having such flashbacks to high school. The “Evil Squad” (as I’m now dubbing it) keeping asking Elora if it felt REAL. Seriously? Like their dates would be any more real in this constructed TELEVISION SHOW.

And then Simone steps in to defend Elora from the meanies. YEAH SIMONE! I don’t even know who you are, but you’re on my radar now!

Oh, we’re on the group date now. Again with the smooth transitions.

Osher reveals they’re recreating a photoshoot for none other than Woman’s Day, and the girls are ermehgerd! So! Totally! Excited! It’s almost like they didn’t do this for the past ten years in a row!

But, there is a twist, because this is a new season of The Bachelor, and they’re going to take some RISKS! Kidding, it’s an 80s themed photoshoot. (You know in Aladdin where at the end Genie is working for Jafar and he has the little flag, and he’s like, “Jafar, Jafar he’s our man…” and he looks so bored? That’s me right now. Also, spoiler alert, I guess, if 25 years counts for nothing.) (Side note: I looked at the release date to make this joke work, and OH MY GOD! I’M THE SAME AGE AS ALADDIN! HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE?!)

Anyway, back to the show where they’re splitting up the girls into smaller, more manageable groups. Florence and Jennifer are paired together to recreate an awkward first date. Florence calls Jen “Jess” and it is hands down the best moment of the season so far. Cobie, Simone, and Tara are cheerleading, and Laura, Elizabeth, Natalie, and Sian are recreating a school formal (Prom, for those in the USofA).

And like it couldn’t have been written, Leah will be on her own, to recreate a possible first kiss. Leah immediately says she’s going for it, and I’m not sure if she meant to say this aloud or not. But to be honest, it doesn’t seem like there’s much Leah doesn’t say aloud. Osher, always the wingman, asks Matty J if he would be ok with that. YEAH, HAS ANYONE ASKED WHAT MATTY J WANTS? WHAT IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN A HOUSE WITH A BUNCH OF SINGLE, HORNY WOMEN? STOP FORGETTING ABOUT HIS WANTS AND NEEDS! (Don’t worry, MRAs – I’ve got your back. Imagine the winking, kissing emoji here for added sarcasm).

Guys, wasn’t I just talking about terrible product placement?! The girls are just CASUALLY getting their hair and makeup done, and lo and behold, someone just HAPPENS to be perfectly holding a packet of Extra chewing gum with the label facing perfectly towards the camera! How coincidental! 

Right, now the girls get their costumes. Evil Squad make fun of everyone’s outfits, and right now I love the producers for telling Jennifer to do that, because the next cut of her in her fully covered lifeguard’s outfit is the absolute best. Maybe she pissed one of them off and this was her punishment. Nah, just kidding. I’ve seen Unreal, I know how this works. (But only the first season so no spoilers please k thanks byeeee).

Florence is in a red bikini because reasons. Jennifer is mean to her and Florence’s talking head calls her a “Jewish banana”, which might be mildly anti-Semite so let’s just move right along. 

Jennifer is totally third-wheeling this photoshoot, and it’s nice to see her get her comeuppance, until…

She takes off her lifeguard top and jumps in the pool. Her talking head says, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner”, which OUTRAGES ME. It doesn’t make sense in the film, and it doesn’t make sense in this context, not least because they were in an open space outside.

Anyway, there is suitable outrage from the girls, as if this moment wasn’t scripted at all. Then Florence gets sideswiped and becomes the third wheel to Jennifer and Matty’s bike (is that where this saying comes from? A bike? Nothing else has two wheels…).

Jennifer makes sure to press her boobs right up against Matty’s bare chest, and the photoshoot is over. Um. Question: Is anyone going to tell her she’s got a massive wedgie?

Apparently not as we’re on to the girls’ school dance. It’s so tacky and so 80s and it’s amazing. Those costumes look so fun and they’re basically just dancing around. All the girls look like they’re having a great time, there’s no competition, and it’s lovely.

So naturally, it lasts two seconds. Enter, Evil Squad with their snide commentary. Laura seems lovely, who was she again? (Oh, my notes say she was the jewellery designer. Right). Anyway, Matty seems to notice her too, saying she stood out, and apparently this is all the praise she’s getting.

Jennifer says that Laura is a big threat in the competition. Sian is apparently in the Evil Squad too, but she’s on the photoshoot currently happening, so she needs to gets Matty’s attention away from Laura. With Jen yelling from the sidelines, “Go for it, baby girl! That’s my girl!” (Is she confused? Does she think she is this woman’s mother?), Sian does “the worm”. It’s weird.

There’s an ad break there and we come back to arguably the most sexist thing ever on this show, by having a cheerleading photoshoot. The worst part is that they’ve tricked the girls into thinking this is enjoyable. The girls have even made up a chant about how great Matty is, as if he needed his ego stroked more. Simone (in the group with Cobie (helium) and Tara (smiley face tattoo)) takes the opportunity to talk to Matty. Apparently she loves running. Not in love, hopefully, but marathon running. This is the only piece of information we have about her, as she was one of the montage girls, which is actually kind of sad because she seems pretty nice.

Cobie is so sweet in her talking head, and obviously doesn’t take the bait from the producers that she should say how annoyed she was at Simone, instead saying, “I was more than happy for Simone to chat with him.” Awwwww!

Evil Squad turn up again (sigh. I’m really over this already), and for some reason, they irrationally hate Simone. Matty’s appreciating the effort Simone’s taking in getting to know him. Well if that wasn’t a gentle letdown, I don’t know what is.

Now for the Leah and Matty photoshoot, where they will be recreating a first kiss moment, on a Harley, at night. Matty says she looks like a “smoking hot Olivia Newton John”, and I don’t know, to me she’s more of early-days Taylor Swift cut-out.

I’m only going to say this once: Leah, stop trying to be the new Laurina. You’ll never be the new Laurina. It’s like they’ve watched the attention people like Laurina and Keira got and actually TRY to be the villain.

This is awful. None of her talking heads sound genuine at all. She is literally reading from a teleprompter, I’m sure of it.

Obviously, Leah’s all over Matty in the photoshoot, and obviously, the girls are pissed, even her other Evil Squad members, which is ironic.

She gives him a kiss on the cheek, and Matty is looking like he wished the ground would swallow him up. Leah says she’s glad the girls are looking, because she wanted them to see it and wanted a reaction. Yes, it was DEFINITELY her idea.

Oh god, she went in for a kiss, and he turned away. He apologies, and says he didn’t think it would be appropriate in front of the other girls. YES! GO MATTY! KEEP THAT CLASS! And that marks the end of the photoshoot.

The next day (or month, or year… I actually have no idea how much time passes here), Matty arrives for a surprise visit at the house, and conveniently the girls are all gathered in the same room. HE HAS BROUGHT THEM MUFFINS, which is amazing and I won’t hear any word to the contrary.

The girls all admit that they are starving, because as we know, they survive on alcohol and each other’s tears. 

MATTY HAS COME TO ASK LISA TO A GAME OF TENNIS. LISA! ONE OF OUR FAVOURITES! YESSSSSS! (Remember she played tennis for 12 years so this is a very thoughtful idea).

There’s a tennis court at the house so I’m not sure why they’re leaving in the car, but hey, I guess it’s more impressive than just hopping the back fence.

There’s some joke about putting the roof down on the convertible, and Lisa doesn’t care about her hair because she’s totally low maintenance. Matty asks if she likes to wear makeup, she says no, and he says she’s saying all the right things.

Honestly, I hate this conversation so much for so many reasons. Firstly, she’s totally playing the Cool Girl (I mean, have they READ Gone Girl?!). It also implies that girls who like to wear makeup are too high maintenance and therefore not girlfriend material. It also implies that you have to fit a certain mould in order for guys to like you. This is just so awful and dangerous and I seriously hope there are no young girls watching this. 

Anyway, they get to the tennis court which was supposed to be on the property which means it’s a) not on the property and we were lied to, or b) on the property so we just had ten minutes of driving for no reason. They change into their tennis whites, and Matty can’t even get a serve over the net. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I can’t get a serve in either, so you know, glass houses.

Then, Matty wants her to help with his serve. They do a reverse pool-cue-helping thing that you’ve seen in thousands of movies, and because of this one-on-one coaching, he totally gets it in. The ball, I mean. To the square.

Matty’s talking head says he’s still got the moves. Um, do you mate? You only got one serve in.

And now for the other disgusting moment of the episode, Matty wants to place a bet: If he wins, he gets a kiss on the cheek, and if Lisa wins, Matty will give her strawberries, cream, and Pimms later on. Honestly this is so disgusting and I can’t even make a joke about it. Implying that a kiss from a woman is a reward to win/women trading their sexuality/entitlement of physical contact with a woman. I mean, there’s just so many directions to take it. I think what bothers me the most about this show is not the blatant misogyny, it’s the more casual stuff like this. I’m getting upset now, so I’ll just move on.

The editors have their work cut out for them trying to cut together shots to make it look like Matty and Lisa actually played a game of tennis.

Lisa wins, but Matty asks if he still gets the kiss, which honestly Matty, do you not get how bets work? She obliges him and gives him one. Sigh.

He takes her to the strawberries and cream (but there was no mention of Pimms…), which totally wasn’t planned and he will go to fix together right now.

Back from the ad break, they’re both suddenly in their swimsuits and she pushes him into the pool. I’m confused. Where is this pool? Is it at the mansion? Wouldn’t the other girls be there? Is it at his place? That would be a big deal though, him taking her back to his place. I’m worried this is just a random pool in the middle of nowhere and the fact that they aren’t explaining it is giving me major anxiety.

I’m also worried Lisa might be falling into the cool-girl-friendship zone, rather than the cool-girl-girlfriend zone. Look, it’s a fine line.

Now they’re just smothering cream all over each other’s face and it’s very flirtatious and seems like another sex ritual.

There’s some discussion about why Lisa applied to the show. Matty says they’re on the same page of looking for a partner, as opposed to all the other applicants of The Bachelor. He offers her a rose, she accepts, and it’s another cheek kiss. Is anyone else getting major Sam Frost vibes from her? Like, Sam Frost in The Bachelor vibes?

Matty says he has to cut the date short because they have a cocktail party to go to, almost convincing me that these episodes happen in real time.

Cocktail Party Time!!!

The two enter together, and it’s night time now (I have so many questions about this. Did she get ready at his place? How much time has passed? How did she get her dress? Did they arrive together? Did he bus over from his place? Did they get an Uber? Why does she need to bring her rose?)

Oh wait, it looks like the girls are eating red lollies, so that balances out the diet with the champagne.

Jennifer ironically says that Elora is very jealous, and that she thinks Elora thinks Matty is her boyfriend. Ha.

Elora says it’s hard to see that she isn’t the only one with a rose. Um. Does she know how this competition works? I mean, she didn’t even know how old he was. Did she just stumble onto this set one day and the producers convinced her to stay?

Whilst Matty is chatting away with Florence, the Evil Squad (which I think at this point is made up of Leah, Jennifer, and Sian), try to grill Elora. Simone stands up for her again (yeah, go Simone!).

Jen describes Leah as her “little drama queen”, yet again exhibiting that narcissistic trait that everyone is an extension of herself. Why does she own everyone?

Anyway, Elora steals Matty for a chat, which we all know is not the best thing to do if you’ve already got a rose. But it’s ok guys, chill; Elora doesn’t even know how this show works.

Matty says he loves the date, and Elora says she did too. This. Is. Ground-breaking. Television.

Jennifer says that it’s time to take Elora down a notch, and says Matty is her boyfriend. Looks like Elora isn’t the only one who doesn’t understand this show. Just a reminder that Jen is saying Elora is the one who think she’s the only one in this competition. Yep. Uh huh.

Look, the producers have done well here. She’s a total bitch to Elora and Simone, clearly trying to tear their friendship apart. Elora comes out and says she doesn’t think Jennifer is very nice. Jennifer says, “That’s interesting”, which is as much an admission of guilt as we’re going to get. She says she’s not sure why she’s getting targeted. Quote: “I haven’t said a bad word about either of you”, which is total high school bullying where you can’t actually tell a teacher because nothing has technically been said but the subtext and body language and giggling behind your back says everything but it can’t be commented on and I SWEAR I’M NOT PROJECTING.

Elora says she thinks there is a dark side to Jennifer and Jennifer takes a predictable amount of offence with this. Not sure if she’s an actual narcissist or just playing one for the sake of the show. Look, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt: she’s a great actress.

Simone (standing up for Elora again) says she doesn’t like Leah. Elora says the mean girls are trying to tear them apart “because they’re bitches”. Look, if I’m picking sides, I’m on whatever side Simone’s on, but FFS this is ridiculous. 

We come back from the ad break straight to the rose ceremony. SEAMLESS. TRANSITIONS. (At this point I’m not sure if it’s the show that’s pissing me off, or if I’ve just become a cranky old woman).

Just one going home tonight, thanks Osher, and we pan over Natalie and SEE! SHE’S JUST GEORGIA IN A WIG. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BIG PENULTIMATE EPISODE REVEAL, GUYS!

COBIE GETS PICKED. SIMONE GETS PICKED. MICHELLE GETS PICKED. LISA HAS ALREADY BEEN PICKED. Right, we’re good.  

Jennifer gets picked because the producers have her on a thirteen episode contract or something, and everyone knows to get good ratings you need strong villains and lots of manufactured dramahhh. (Side note: What I would KILL to know how many are his picks, and how many are the producers’). 

We’re down to Villain Number 1, Leah, and Laura-Ann (who my notes say was another montage girl).

Predictable fake concern from Leah as she says she’s worried she got “carried away” on the group date. Yes, Leah, it was definitely you getting “carried away” on the group date which made him think he couldn’t have a future with you, not your ridiculous behaviour (which, to be fair, he didn’t get to see. Unless they have secret cameras? TELL ME THE SECRETS!)

We’re not fooled, and Laura-Ann goes. She seems nice. She also seems like she deserves a hell of a lot better than to be called Montage Girl.  

God these episodes are long.

 Next Episode: Another boat ride. Jesus. Is this what guys think girls like? Some sort of medieval festival for… reasons. And it looks like Leah’s openly admitted to emotionally manipulating Matty, because what is a good dating show without some emotional manipulation.