#TheRanchNessian
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Another @highladyofillyria rec that I am very excited to read!
The Ranch {Masterlist}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @theladyofdeath
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
Chapters: One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eightteen nineteen twenty twenty-one twenty-two epilogue
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The Ranch {Epilogue}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Nesta took a deep breath, every emotion she had ever felt toward Cassian Nazari coming to the surface. She hadn’t seen him in over twenty-four hours, and it had been the longest she had been without him since they’d been together.
She hated it.
But, it would all be worth it.
She looked in the mirror, admiring herself, shamelessly. It was a day she had dreamt of for so long, a day she had planned for and waited for, longingly.
A day she had almost thought would never come.
A cry from down the hall had her turning away from the mirror and towards her daughter’s bedroom, where her sisters were supposed to be getting her ready. She sighed, glanced into the hallway to make sure there was no sign of Cassian and hurried down the hall.
“No!” Sloan was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner, the little dress with the pink tutu in her Aunt Elain’s outstretched hands. “No pink!”
“This is what you have to wear today, sweet girl,” Elain explained. “It’s what mommy picked out for you.”
She shook her head, not yet noticing Nesta standing in the doorway. Feyre stood off to the side, rubbing her round stomach and sighed. “I’m hoping she’s as stubborn as she is thanks to Cass and that’s not an Archeron thing.”
Nesta scoffed, “It’s a Sloan thing,” before entering her daughter’s room.
“Mama!” She said, lifting her arms to be picked up the second she saw her. Nesta did so and Sloan pointed at the dress in Elain’s hands. “Mine?”
The one word sentences had become a very normal thing in their house. No was her favorite word, but Beau Beau was a close second.
“Yes, yours, isn’t it beautiful?” Nesta asked.
Sloan crossed her little arms. “No.”
Nesta sighed, setting Sloan on the ground. She was more of a run in her underwear through the mud type of little lady.
Which she got from her father.
“Daddy wants you to wear this dress,” Nesta pushed. “And when the wedding is done, you can change.”
Sloan’s little lips pursed together. “No pink.”
“Mama loves pink.”
“No pink.”
Nesta hung her head, exasperated. “Get Cass. She’ll do whatever he asks.”
Feyre chuckled but nodded. “Make yourself scarce. I’ll be back in five.”
Nesta did just that, re-entering her own bedroom, and putting on her jewelry and slipping her mother’s pins into her hair, the last touches she needed to be ready to walk down the aisle. To marry her best friend.
Speaking of, she heard slow, heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and it took everything she had not to throw open the door, grab his face and kiss him until she was lightheaded.
She would do more than that tonight.
But for now she had to wait, and her heart melted when she heard him ask, “Where did they find a dress for a princess as beautiful as you, huh?”
The giggle she heard next was the telltale daddy’s throwing me in the air giggle, which she adored, but stressed her out to no end.
“No pink, daddy,” she heard a minute later.
“Yes, pink,” Cassian said, his tone matching hers. “Because mommy loves this dress, and we love mommy.”
There was a small stretch of silence before she heard Cassian say, “If you put this dress on, daddy will give you a sucker.”
Nesta rolled her eyes, but Sloan’s excited giggled floated through the air. She supposed there were worse ways to get Sloan into her dress, although Nesta hoped all sucker goo stayed off Sloan’s dress until pictures were done.
Nesta glanced at the clock on the wall.
She had twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes too long. Nesta was ready to marry Cassian, and she was ready to marry him now.
She was in the bathroom, touching up her make up one last time, when she heard her door open and quick footsteps ran across the hardwood before when the bathroom door was shoved open. Sloan stood there, a broad grin on her face. Her blue-gray eyes, Nesta’s eyes, were sparkling and Nesta couldn’t help but grin back.
“Princess, mama!” She announced, holding onto the edges of the tutu.
“You’re the most beautiful princess I’ve ever seen,” Nesta said, picking her up, and gazing in the mirror.
There were days Nesta swore she was the spitting image of her father, but that was usually when she was getting into something she wasn’t supposed to. Right now though, save for her naturally olive complexion and her dark hair, she looked so much like herself.
“Do you remember where you’re supposed to go when your basket is empty?” Nesta asked, picking the small basket up from where it sat next to her bouquet.
“Beau Beau,” she replied confidently and Nesta chuckled.
“No, baby. You can either stand with Aunt Elain or sit with Mor and Vivi.”
“Aunt Lainey,” she said, squirming to get down.
“I know, we love Aunt Lainey,” Nesta confirmed, setting her back on the floor.
Elain came in, Feyre just behind her, and both of them were smiling, softly.
“Are you ready to get into place?” Feyre asked.
Nesta looked at herself one last time before she nodded. “So ready.”
Elain picked up Sloan before slipping her other hand in Nesta’s. Feyre did the same on Nesta’s other side, then they were walking down the stairs together.
The house was empty, all except for Azriel, who stood at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled upon seeing the women come into view. After kissing Elain’s forehead, he held his hand out to Nesta.
“Ready?” He asked, quietly, his smile fully genuine.
She took it and said, “You have no idea.”
Music began to play from out front and Nesta looked at her sisters.
Elain whispered, “It’s time.”
Feyre was the first one Cassian saw, carrying Sloan down the porch steps. She looked radiant, absolutely glowing at six months pregnant. A glance over at his brother told him he thought so, too. But when she set his daughter on her feet and she gripped onto Beau’s tuxedo collar, he thought his heart might burst. Nesta had rolled her eyes, but never objected. Beau was a part of the family, there was no way he wasn’t going to be in the wedding.
But his sweet girl, his Sloan was so beautiful. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved Nesta, so all consuming and vital to his happiness. But then Sloan came crashing into his world, and he couldn’t imagine a second without her. He wiped at his face, and chuckled to himself, knowing if he was crying seeing his baby girl, he had no hope when his beautiful fiancée stepped out of their home’s front door.
Feyre stepped to the side and Cassian whistled quietly. Beau began walking towards him slowly, careful not to make the baby tumble over. He wasn’t nearly as excitable as he was when he was a puppy, but Sloan was his entire world and he would never do anything to hurt her.
Halfway down the aisle, Sloan finally noticed who was at the end, and cried, “Daddy!” before happily giggling down the rest of the walk.
Except it was more of a run.
The white rose petals in the basket were forgotten as she hurried to her daddy.
So much for standing with Elain as planned.
Cassian laughed as he scooped Sloan up in his arms, her little hands flat out against his chest before her head fell into his shoulder.
Feyre couldn’t help but laugh as she followed her niece.
Elain was next, shaking her head with a smile as she took in the scene before her, underneath the archway draped in floral and greenery. She winked at her about-to-be brother-in-law as she stepped up in front of Feyre, but Cassian’s eyes never wavered from the door, which Nesta would be walking through any second.
Excitement flooded his body, and he held onto Sloan a little bit tighter as that front door opened, once again, and Azriel stepped out, Nesta on his arm.
He forgot how to breathe. The dress she wore was simple, elegant lace with a beaded belt. It was plain enough that it let her beauty shine, but she never needed any help with that. Her smile was the most gorgeous sight in the world, but when she saw him at the end of the aisle, holding their precious baby, she couldn’t help but cover it up. He heard the teary laugh from across the yard and couldn’t stop his own.
“Mama pretty,” Sloan whispered, and his arms tightened around her.
“Yes, she is.”
The walk down the aisle was the longest walk of Nesta’s life. If it wasn’t for Azriel’s calming presence - and very firm grip - on her arm, she was fairly sure she would have sprinted across the grass and thrown her arms around him. But she kept her pace, walking in time to the music they selected, and then she was standing in front of Cassian.
The officiant didn’t ask who gave Nesta away, Azriel just stepped to the side, taking his spot next to Rhys, and Nesta took Cassian’s outstretched hand. Her heart had belonged to him since she arrived back in Velaris. There was no need to give a blessing when they’d already been so blessed beyond comparison.
The ceremony was relatively short, mostly because Nesta had told the officiant beforehand to marry them as quickly as possible, because she just couldn’t wait any longer. Once the vows had been said, and Cassian kissed his bride, they were swept away into a mess of pictures and greetings and whatever else. Nesta didn’t care, though. She would do the messy wedding thing, as long as Cassian didn’t leave her side.
After the pictures, Sloan fell asleep on Cassian’s shoulder, and after they got pictures of that, she was being carried away by Feyre, who was begging to sit down from her own pregnancy exhaustion.
As everyone ate the extravagant meal they had catered, Cassian took Nesta’s hand and pulled her away.
“Hope you’re not too hungry,” he muttered, pulling her around the side of the house as the sun sank down behind the hillside.
“No,” she laughed, “but I’m surprised you’re not.”
He winked. “I can eat later. But right now, I want to spend time with my wife.”
She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and tilting her head slightly. “Is it fun to say?”
His grin was breathtaking. “Oh, it’s fun. You should try it.”
She rolled her eyes. “I can’t, there’s no one here but my husband to appreciate it.” She was smiling so hard that her cheeks hurt. “You’re right, it’s fun.”
Cassian cupped her face and kissed her softly. “Are you having a good time?”
“Of course, I am,” she said, looking back to where some of their friends and family were still eating and others had already jumped on the dance floor. “This day is everything I ever dreamed it would be.”
“It sure was a hell of a time getting here,” he breathed, brushing a curled strand of hair out of her face. “And to think it wasn’t too long ago that I thought you were just a spoiled, rude, beautiful woman.”
Nesta chuckled. “You don’t still think that?”
“The beautiful part, maybe,” he grinned. “And the spoiled part. But just because you’re spoiled by me.”
“We both are,” Nesta chuckled. “Me and that baby that’s passed out on my sister, drooling on her beautiful gown.”
“I love that baby,” Cassian whispered. “And her mama.”
“Would it be rude to tell everyone to go home so that I can take you upstairs?” Nesta whispered, her hands on his chest.
Cassian laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We can't very well kick the people out before they’ve eaten dinner, I feel like you of all people should know that.”
She smiled and rested her head against Cassian’s chest. “I know, wishful thinking.”
He kissed the top of her head and smiled. “Everything is so crazy back there, I just wanted a minute alone with you.”
Nesta was gazing out towards where that cottage used to be, at the long driveway they had put in, that would lead right to the restaurant Nesta had plans for. The cottage was gone, but the memories still lingered, eighteen months later.
She leaned into his chest and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. She wanted to savor the moment, wanting to remember every second, wanted to dedicate every inch of him in his wedding attire to memory. They only got one wedding day, and although it was busy and stressful and overwhelming, it was all about them, their love, their little family, and how far they had come.
Laughter and conversation floated from the back of the house, where the guests were gathered, eating and enjoying each other, celebrating.
“I guess I should go check if Sloan is still asleep on Aunt Feyre,” Nesta whispered.
“You should check if Aunt Feyre is sleeping,” Cassian countered. She’d had a rough pregnancy thus far. Sick, weak, and ready for her baby to be brought into the world.
“Come on,” she smiled. “Let’s go be merry and married.”
He followed her and they did just that, sharing their first dance, cutting the cake, tossing the bouquet and the garter - which just happened to end up in Lucien and Vassa’s hands - and then they were ready for their grand exit.
Since they got married in their home, they decided to take the truck down to the cabin, and Az and Elain would stay in the main house with Sloan. She was just now getting used to sleeping in her own crib and Nesta was not on board for throwing that off.
After a quick goodnight, tucking her in and letting her sleep in her “princess dress”, they were hurrying down the stairs.
“We’re just down the hill, call us if you need us,” Cassian explained before they walked out to where the truck and their remaining family and friends waited.
“We’ve got this,” Elain smiled and Nesta hugged her.
“Hang her dress up once she’s asleep, please,” Nesta said. “We were not getting it off of her awake.”
Azriel snorted. “Got it.”
Nesta hesitated. “And...you know...if you want to send me little updates now and then-.”
“We’re a quarter of a mile away,” Elain reminded her, with gentle eyes.
Nesta had never spent a full night away from Sloan. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her family, but the thought of anything happening to Sloan, after what they had been through, was unfathomable.
“I’ll keep you updated if you promise to go enjoy yourselves,” Elain followed. “Now, go!”
Nesta chuckled as she climbed into the truck. “Fine, fine.”
After another round of goodbyes and thank yous, they were headed down the driveway, toward the little cabin, where they would spend their first night together as man and wife.
The same place they’d spent so many of their early days. Thinking of that had Nesta smiling as they parked in front of the cabin.
“You’re so gorgeous.”
She looked over to where he was sitting behind the wheel. In a pair of nice, clean jeans, a crisp button down, a vest, and, of course, his boots, Nesta couldn’t get over how handsome he looked. Even Sloan had said so, announcing to everyone how pretty her daddy looked. She blushed and looked at her hands, the sparkling diamond on her finger and the platinum band sitting alongside it. Cassian reached across the middle console and turned her chin to face him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she smiled, leaning into his touch.
He opened to the truck door and she unbuckled her seat belt, moving to do the same. “Stay right there,” he ordered, hopping out and hurrying around to her side.
Opening her door, he slid his hands underneath her dress and scooped her up, making her giggle as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“Carrying you across the threshold.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
She laughed as he climbed the porch steps and said, “We don’t live here though.”
“We used to,” he smirked down at her. “Same difference.”
She rolled her eyes but definitely didn’t protest as he carried her up the porch stairs, kicked open the door, and carried her inside. He didn’t set her down until they were in the bedroom, and she gasped upon entering.
Rose petals were scattered across the bed, candles were everywhere. Last time Nesta had seen Cassian's old bedroom in the cabin, it was being used as storage. Now, it was as beautiful as any honeymoon suite.
“I was busy this morning,” Cassian said, quietly, reading her thoughts.
He laid her down, gently, on the bed.
“It’s perfect,” she promised, smiling faintly.
Cassian went back out to grab their bag from the truck, then shut the front door, and she heard the lock move into place.
Nesta checked her phone quickly to make sure Elain hadn’t texted, even though they’d been gone less than five minutes.
“What the hell are you gonna do when she goes to school?” Cassian asked, grinning, as he came back into the bedroom, the duffel bag Nesta had packed for them tossed over his shoulder.
“I have years before I have to deal with that,” Nesta said, sighing, putting her phone on the nightstand. “Thank the gods.”
Cassian held out his hand and Nesta took it, standing and wrapping his arms around his waist. He did the same and leaned down to brush a kiss against her lips. “You’re such an amazing mother. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Her eyes were bright, and she looked absolutely radiant as she looked up at him. “One of them?” She asked. “What else is on that list?”
“Your love for our family.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “Your tenacity.” Her cheek. “Your loyalty.” Her jaw. “Your bad ass cooking.” Her neck. “And I can’t forget your tits.”
Nesta laughed and grabbed his face, pressing her lips to his. “Shut up and make love to your wife.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss her again, but she was pushing against his chest.
He raised a brow. “Was that a tease? If it was, it wasn’t very nice.”
She snorted, and shook her head as she turned around. “First, you have to get me out of all these buttons.”
Cassian blinked.
There were a lot of buttons.
“Why couldn’t you have gotten a dress with a zipper?” Cassian mumbled, starting at the top to undo the long line of buttons, one by one.
“You don’t like this one?” Nesta asked.
Cassian laughed a breathy laugh. “When I saw you step out of that house, I cried.”
Nesta looked at him over her shoulder as the dress became loose.
“The dress is stunning, but you could’ve worn a paper sack and I would’ve still cried,” Cassian continued, meeting her gaze.
That gaze made Nesta feel like she was on fire.
The things this man could do to her with just a look, with just a word.
Her husband.
She felt the last of the buttons separate and she let her dress fall to the floor before turning to face him.
His eyes were wide. “Wow.”
Wow was right.
Feyre and Elain had taken Nesta lingerie shopping for her bachelorette party. Feyre couldn’t drink and the other two agreed to suffer in solidarity, but Nesta didn’t complain. Any time with her sisters was perfect, even if wine wasn’t involved.
Cassian dragged a calloused finger along the boning of the white corset and then down the strap of the garter belt.
Suddenly, Nesta felt self conscious in all of the white lace. She wasn’t a virgin, by any means, their daughter sleeping in her crib at the house was proof of that. But she wanted something traditional about their wedding night. Cauldron knew the rest of their relationship hadn’t been. She whispered, “Is it too much?”
Cassian swallowed hard. “Fuck, no. But as hot as it is, I want you out of it, more than I want you in it.”
She lifted a challenging brow. “Now you have to figure out how to take it all off.”
His grin was feral, but as he reached up to begin, she shook her head. “You first.”
Cassian chuckled, and shook his head. “Cruel, wicked woman.”
Nesta grinned as she sat on the edge of the bed, crossing one leg over the other, waiting for her husband to put on a show.
He kept his eyes locked on hers as he kicked off his boots, then he slipped off his vest. Loosening his tie, one by one, he popped the buttons of his white shirt open, shucking it off and dropping it on top of the vest and her dress. He reached over his head and pulled his undershirt off and dropped it on the growing pile of clothes. When he kicked off his jeans, leaving himself in nothing but the tanned skin Nesta loved to drag her fingers over, she expected him to begin on her own remaining attire. Instead, he surprised her by bending over, picking up their discarded clothes and laying them out over the chair in the corner. She watched him, her lips parted in shock, a small smile turning up the corner of her lips.
“Did you just lay our clothes out so they wouldn’t get wrinkled?” She asked, an eyebrow raised.
“I did,” he said, turning to her and closing the distance between them. He held out his hand once more and she placed hers in his and stood, her heels long forgotten. The top of her head barely came up to his chin. “Does that turn you on?”
“You have no idea,” she breathed, leaning up and wrapping her arms around his neck.
His quiet laugh made her grin widen as he picked her up, those legs wrapping around his waist. Instead of the bed, he pressed her up against the wall, his hand running up her thigh, across the lingerie that she had so carefully picked out for him.
Nesta’s phone vibrated on the nightstand just as Cassian's lips touched hers.
He sighed, fully aware that she wouldn’t be able to focus on them before she read whatever it was. After carrying her to the side table, he looked at her phone and said, “Sloan is sound asleep, her dress is hanging up, and Elain says all as well. She also says to enjoy yourself.”
“Fine,” Nesta breathed, her arms around his neck tightening. “The baby is well taken care of, you're right. You have my full attention.”
“Do I?” He asked, quietly, his lips finding the side of her neck. He nipped at the tender skin, followed by the brush of his tongue to soothe any pain he’d caused with his teeth.
“No,” she said, that little whine slipping into her tone that meant she was getting impatient. “But you know I’ll be worrying about her the whole night.” He chuckled, gripping her ass a little harder, kneading the flesh in his hands. “She’s always on my mind, too, but we deserve this. A night to ourselves.” His cock was between them and he ground her against him so that it was pressed against her lace covered sex. “A night without a baby monitor or a late night feeding. Just time to appreciate each other. Very, very intimately.”
“Then you’d better hurry up and get me out of this lingerie - and not in the brute way.” She added, seeing a familiar, destructive spark in his eye. “This was very expensive and I’d like to be able to wear it again.”
Cassian raised an eyebrow and asked, “Planning on having a second wedding?”
Smirking, Nesta said, “I actually planned on wearing them for our anniversaries, but if you’re objecting…”
His lips found hers and he cut her off. Cassian pulled back a hair and breathed, “No objections here.”
She groaned, leaning into his touch, into his lips as he slowly undid the hooks of her corset. She knew he was growing frustrated, knew he was becoming impatient, but that only humored her more.
Eventually, the corset came free, and even Cassian took his time, per her wishes to keep it all in good condition, removing it from her skin and placing it on the bed behind her. With gentle, calloused fingers, he ran his fingertips down her skin, starting at her collarbone, down between her breasts, down to the garter belt.
“You know,” he whispered, bringing his hand back up to cup her breasts. “We can start with that on.”
Her lips pursed into a seductive smile. “Now that you can see my tits?”
He nodded, slowly, his eyes darkening as she reached down to grip his cock.
Nesta didn’t hesitate as she dropped to her knees and stroked him slowly. The low curse that tumbled from his lips, only urged her on further and she glanced up at him as she ran her tongue along the length of him, from base to tip, and swirled it around the swollen head. His hands wove into her hair as she took him in her mouth.
He grunted, “I hope you aren’t too attached to this hairstyle.” She glanced up at at him, cock in her mouth, eyes asking the question for her. “Because I’m about to fuck it up, especially if you keep doing that.”
The words were more of a growl by the end of his sentence, when Nesta began to bob her head.
Cassian’s head fell back as he began to do what he said he would. With every bob of her head, Cassian’s fingers dove deeper into her hair, the intricate braid coming loose, the curls fading into mere waves. He breathed curse after curse, each one becoming more desperate.
Nesta watched him the entire time, through her black-painted lashes. She thrived on the ethereal expression on his face, how his brows scrunched together and his lips remained open.
“Nesta,” he growled. “Nes.”
She hummed with him inside of her mouth, which only made that low growl return.
Those fingers in her hair pulled back her head. Her lips remained, perfectly still, just around the head of his cock. Her eyes were wide, humored, as she looked up at him.
His chest was heaving.
“I love the sight of you with my cock in your mouth,” he breathed.
To say that they got to take their time with each other the last year and a half would be a complete and utter lie. Now, they would take their sweet, sweet time with one another, with no interruptions.
He could see the smile in her eyes as she gripped the back of his thighs and took him deeper and deeper, until her pink-painted lips could almost leave a print on his skin. He groaned, hunching over her and when she gagged lightly, his fingers found her chin and pulled her mouth off of him. A soft gasp for air left her as he gripped her shoulders and tossed her onto the bed.
She laughed quietly as her back hit the mattress which turned into a moan as Cassian’s mouth found her, through the sheer, white lace. Her eyes rolled back in her head as he lavished her, but when she heard a tearing and cool air on her sex. He was grinning up at her between her legs and it was very hard to stay mad at him when he was there.
“I told you to be careful,” she whispered, chest rising and falling rapidly.
He breathed, “I’ll buy you a new pair.” With a deliberate slowness, he dragged a finger between her folds and circled her clit. She whimpered and he said, “You’re already so wet for me.”
“Did you expect anything less?” She gasped, as she sprawled out on the bed, gripping the comforter between her fingers.
“No,” he replied, slowly, his thumb still moving at an agonizing pace. “I know what you like, Mrs. Nazari.”
She moaned, quietly, a hand coming to cover his as he circled her clit, ever so slowly. “What is it that I like?”
“To be teased,” he said, knowingly, cockily. “Then you like me to build it up, slowly.”
His thumb against her clit moved just a little bit faster.
Her eyes fluttered shut as she gasped and her back arched off the bed.
“Don’t move,” he said, wrapping an arm around one of her thighs. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her mound. He breathed, “Move and I’ll stop.”
Slipping her fingers into his hair, still tied at the back of his head, she chuckled, the sound husky and bedroom soft. “No, you won’t.”
“No,” he crooned, his mouth so close to where she needed him. “I won’t. But I’d appreciate it if you played along.”
With that, he ran his tongue between her folds, savoring the essence that was his wife. Her grip tightened on his hair, close to painful, and he groaned as he devoured her.
He couldn’t get enough of the taste of Nesta Archeron.
But the taste of Nesta Nazari…
His eyes fell shut as he reached down and gripped his cock, stroking in time with the flicks of his tongue.
She breathed his name, begging him, trying so very hard to stay still, but struggling. Every time she whined his name, though, it only made him hold her down tighter.
She was yanking on the strands of his hair, too, making him groan over and over again, into her pussy, the vibrations of his low voice tightening her grip.
It wasn’t until her entire body was tensed around him, beneath his hands, that her grip loosened and she came with a curse into the quiet room.
Cassian stroked her, gently with his tongue, his hand dropping from his cock as he looked up at her through dark lashes, his lips wet.
“Please,” she breathed, tugging on his hair, not in the same needy desperation as she had momentarily before, but in urgency, an urgency that he reciprocated. “Cassian, please.”
He trailed feather soft kisses up her body, pausing to pay special attention to her breasts, biting and pinching and squeezing and licking. Nesta was almost ready to come again by the time he reached her lips and was positioning himself at her entrance.
His breath was hot against her mouth, her body on fire with the need of him, the want of him.
“Please,” she whispered, a quiet plea, but he could hear her desperation.
And he mirrored it.
He didn’t bother inching his way inside, didn’t bother taking it slow. She was soaked, and he needed her.
After grabbing her hips, he pushed himself into her, all the way down to the hilt, where he stayed, his head falling back, and let himself bask in the feeling of simply being inside of her.
She did the same, the nails of one hand digging into his ass, the other his back, and she didn’t try to muffle the cry that left her as he plunged deep inside of her. He pulled out, almost all the way, and snapped his hips into hers again, the wooden frame of the bed slamming against the wall. Nesta moaned his name, every syllable, every breath urging him on and on. He repeated the motion again and again and again, one of Nesta’s hands tangled in his loose hair, the tie lost somewhere in the sheets.
Cassian cursed, low and rough, as his head fell against her chest and he pulled a peaked nipple into his mouth, and her back arched off the bed once more.
He wrapped an arm around her waist before she could fall back against the bed and gripped the headboard with the other. Nesta’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, completely at the mercy of the roll of his hips.
“I’m close,” she breathed, the words tumbling from her lips.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” The words weren’t cocky in any way, just proof that he knew Nesta’s body better than his own. He could have gotten himself to the edge, but tonight, his goal was to make Nesta feel like a goddess.
And that began with making her cum as many times as he possibly could.
“Cassian,” she pleaded, her nails digging into his skin.
He kept that pace, his rhythm, didn’t even hesitate for a second as Nesta cried out and she shattered around him, her knees shaking on both sides of his ass in the air. The noise that came out of her was something between laughter and crying, purely from joy, complete ecstasy.
Cassian slowed down, but he didn’t stop. He leaned back, watched as Nesta’s chest heaved, watched as her eyes fluttered, watched as her parted lips turned into a grin.
Her palms rested flat on his chest as he slowly pushed himself in and out of her.
When her eyes finally focused on him again, the flush high on her cheekbones, she grabbed him by the back of the head and crashed her lips into his. He groaned, hitching her leg up, and holding it against his side. She whimpered into his mouth, his thrusts rolling deeper and deeper, until she was a writhing mess beneath him again.
“Fuck, Cass, please,” she breathed, her fingers digging into his arms, rooting herself to the moment, to him, the feeling of him being inside of her.
He felt her walls begin to tighten around him, but her hand pressed against his chest, differently than it had a moment before, and he smirked knowing what she wanted. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rolled them until she was on top, body flush against his, and he just laid there for a moment, letting her take over.
He was more than willing.
Nesta was instantly comfortable, in her element, staring down at her husband as she rode him. When Cassian brought up his knees, she leaned back against them and he watched his cock disappear inside of her as she slowly bounced up and down it. Before he could do it himself,
Nesta took his hand and brought it to her sex, where he began to circle her clit, slowly.
“Tell me what you want,” she breathed, eyes bright as she rode his thick length, just a little bit faster, her breasts bouncing as she moved atop him.
He leaned up, bracing his weight on a hand as the other gripped the back of her head and kissed her with a gentleness she wasn’t expecting. He gazed in her eyes, and breathed, “I want to worship you, in every way imaginable, every night, for the rest of my life.”
Her head fell back as he let his lips drag down her neck and she breathed, “Fuck, I love you.”
His teeth found her skin and his hips met hers thrust for thrust. It wasn’t long before they were both short of breath and Nesta’s moans were filling the cabin.
Nesta only grew louder as Cassian approached his climax, holding onto her tightly, his teeth still grazing her collarbone.
And then he moaned, his own sounds filling the cabin, sounds that Nesta never grew tired of hearing. He came in her, moving her hips with his hands as he rode it out. Nesta’s breath shook as she found her release, too, and they both came to a halt, her still nestled into his lap, him still inside of her, his face buried into her neck.
Cassian waited until his breathing had evened before he leaned back and looked at her. Without a word, she brushed his damp hair out of his face, and kissed his forehead, softly.
“I love you,” he breathed, a look so vulnerable in his eyes that it made Nesta’s heart ache.
Things had not been easy after Tomas had kidnapped Nesta. There had been many nights Nesta awoke, drenched in sweat and tears, Cassian’s arms banded around her because she’d been thrashing so hard she’d almost harmed herself. Even after his death, Tomas haunted her. It was almost six months before she had been able to sleep all the way through the night.
Without Cassian, she wasn’t sure she would have survived the time after Tomas’ attack. This man was her rock, her anchor in the storm. The constant light in a world that once used to be so dark.
She whispered, “I love you too,” unwilling to shatter the silence they sat in, the only sound their shared breath.
After a moment, Cassian stood, lifting Nesta, still nestled deep inside her. He carried her into the bathroom and set her down in the large garden tub. The second he pulled out, their mixed releases spilled from between her legs. Cassian watched it, eyes still dark with lust. His cock was already growing hard again and he turned the tub faucet on and stopped the tub up. “Let me go grab you a glass of wine and a much needed glass of whiskey and when I get back, I’ll give you a massage.”
“Lemonade,” she corrected him, turning to look over her shoulder, to watch him leave.
Cassian stopped in the doorway and turned to face her with an arched brow. “Lemonade? We just got married, and you don’t want wine?”
She gave him a soft smile as she slowly shook her head. “Oh, I would love a glass of wine...but, lemonade will do.”
His surprised face turned into one of confusion, and she slowly watched, perfectly humored, as that confusion turned back into shock.
And awe.
“Really?” She hardly heard him, he spoke so quietly, hardly getting the word out.
Nesta’s nod was all he needed to start tearing up, and instead of leaving the room, he was back in the tub with her, his wife, hovering over her giddy frame as he kissed her, softly, slowly, tenderly.
In the past few years, they had been through hell and back, but every day gave them another reminder that they had conquered hell and made it out alive.
Cassian would continue to go through whatever hell life threw at him, too, as long as he went through it with Nesta, the mother of his children.
His wife.
The love of his life.
#the end#theranchnessian#sharacollab#snacmc#snelbz tacmc collab#nessian#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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Reckoning and Retribution {1}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, House of Earth and Blood, & Throne of Glass Crossover, Western AU fanfiction.
Based on a prompt sent in for the 4k follower contest {winner}, from Anonymous: “Ok hear me out: WILD WEST AU CROSSOVER”
@snelbz / @tacmc
The sun was bearing down on the back of his neck as he rode through the vast expanse of open land around him. There was nothing around for miles, save for the little town up ahead.
Rose Creek, it was called, if he remembered correctly.
Rowan Whitethorn knew how places like this operated, it was his life to blow in and out of them, never staying for long. It was always easy to leave, when no one wanted you there. Small, tight-knit communities, where an offense to someone’s family could end in a fist fight or a spray of bullets.
As always, he had a goal in mind as he rode into town, his pale grey horse throwing her head slightly. He’d visit the sheriff, see what he knew about the warrant in his coat pocket, and begin his search.
As he entered the little town, he was instantly labeled the outsider. He could tell as every set of eyes he passed watched him stroll by, suspiciously. He didn’t say a word, although he acknowledged some he passed, either meeting their hard gazes or nodding his head and tipping his hat in a respectful hello to the few women he rode by. It was early in the day yet, and he assumed most were working or tending to chores.
Although the town was small, there was a vast array of shops and the like, lining each side of the main, dusty street. After debating on whether he wanted to search for the sheriff or stop in somewhere and ask, Rowan dismounted his horse, tied him up to a post, and walked inside of the local saloon.
It was nearly empty, given the early hour, no doubt. A bartender stood behind the long counter, wiping it down, and a young girl was sweeping the hard floor, sending dust up all around her.
Rowan’s boots thumped on the wood as he made his way to the bar and leaned against it. As a measure of good faith, he removed his hat, placing it on the bar next to him, allowing the man behind the bar to see his face. He turned, cleaning a glass, and if Rowan was surprised to see the crude tattoo of barbed wire around his forehead, he didn’t show it. “Whiskey, please.”
He slid two silver coins across the wooden bar top and the man nodded. He placed the glass he’d been wiping down and reached beneath the bar, producing a bottle of amber liquid. He set it down, and Rowan poured some into the glass.
“Haven’t seen you around here before,” the bartender said, casually.
Tossing the drink back, Rowan blew out a harsh breath. “Name’s Whitethorn. I’m here looking to serve a warrant, was planning on going to the sheriff’s office, but could use some help being pointed in that direction.”
The man glanced over to the girl in the corner. “Evangeline, why don’t you go ask Emrys to make you those pastries you like?”
Her eyes went wide. “But it’s not even lunch time yet.”
He put a finger to his lips. “I won’t tell Lysandra if you don’t.”
The girl, Evangeline, Rowan gathered, hurried into the saloon’s kitchen where the sound of cooking could already be heard.
The man held out his hand. “Hunt Athalar. I own this bar.”
He grasped his hand, firmly. “Rowan.”
“Nice to meet you, Rowan,” Hunt said, and laid his palms flat on the bar, leaning down. “Hate to break it to you, but there is no sheriff. Haven’t had one in about six weeks.”
“What happened?” That was unlikely, dangerous even, in a town this far out.
Hunt shrugged, although a haunted look remained in his eyes. “Turned up dead, bullet in the head, on the outskirts of town. One of the ranchers found him about a day after, while they were out riding. No one knows who did it.”
“And you all have just been going on without a sheriff?” Rowan asked, trying to wrap his head around it, having never heard of such a thing before. He’d never heard of a town going without a sheriff for as long as six weeks. You’d think the position was cursed, and no one wanted to touch it.
“Deputy’s been watching over things since,” Hunt said, tossing a rag over his shoulder. “I’m afraid I don’t know much else, though. If you want any more details, you might want to go see the mayor. I bet he just got into his office, at this hour.”
Nodding, Rowan poured another shot into the glass and tossed it back. He nodded his head, gesturing to the stairs. “You have lodgings up there? I’ll be needing a place to stay while I’m in town. I can pay.” The silver pieces he’d laid down for the drink was proof of that enough.
Hunt shook his head, his eyes trailing over to the stairwell. “I’m afraid not. The, uh, girls entertain from upstairs, after dinner.”
A silver eyebrow rose. “You run a brothel?”
“Gods, no, I just...share a building with one.” He didn’t sound very enthused about that. “Talk to the mayor, let him know why you’re in town. He might have a couple suggestions for you.”
With a nod, Rowan stood, placing his hat back on his head and said, “Thank you for the information, Mr. Athalar. You’ve been very helpful.”
“It’s Hunt, please,” he replied. “I lost my right to common courtesy a long time ago.”
Rowan shook his head and said, “No one ever loses the right to human decency, as far as I’m concerned.”
Hunt nodded and Rowan tipped his hat before making his way back out into the morning sun. The city hall wasn’t far from the saloon, which sat smack dab in the middle of town. The founders of Rose Creek clearly had their priorities in place when they put this town together.
Leaving his horse tied up at the saloon with Hunt’s permission, Rowan walked down the dusty street to city hall. When he opened the door, he was met with an empty desk, a couch, and a set of stairs leading up to the second story. He didn’t want to surprise the man, didn’t feel like taking an accidental bullet to the heart, so he let his boots fall extra heavy on the creaking, wooden stairs. He could hear voices, both of them male, one of them far more frantic than the other.
“I’ll take anything more you can give me, Rhys, otherwise I’ll have to start burning them.”
“Calm down, it hasn’t come to that yet, and it won’t. I’ll see what I can work out.”
“Well, work it out fast, otherwise we’ll be out of graves. I’m not leaving a body out to rot in the sun and attract a coyote, not this close to town.”
Two sets of eyes were shooting in Rowan’s direction before he even knocked on the open door. The mayor, dressed in too fine of clothes for such a small town, sat behind a large oak desk. The other man was dressed in simple, dusty clothes, sweat glistening on his forehead.
“Pardon the interruption,” Rowan said, when it was clear they would say nothing. “I’m here looking for someone, hoping I can stay in town for a few days. I was wanting to talk to the sheriff, but I hear you don’t have one.”
The mayor blinked, then pushed himself up from his chair. “And your name?”
His voice was low, calming.
“Whitethorn,” Rowan said, simply. “Rowan Whitethorn.”
“A pleasure, Mr. Whitethorn.” The mayor smiled, and Rowan couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. “I’m Mayor Lunasa. This is Azriel.”
Azriel tipped his hat in welcome. Rowan returned the gesture.
The mayor turned toward the other gentleman. “Az, use the land bordering the Vanserra ranch if you run out of plots in town. I’ll have a talk with Beron. But try to stay as close to the town as possible.”
He nodded and slipped out, passing Rowan and heading down the stairs.
Once the door opened and closed, the mayor walked around his desk and leaned against the front of it. “Can I offer you a drink, Mr. Whitethorn?”
“No, thank you,” Rowan replied, taking that as an invitation to enter the office. “I visited Mr. Athalar when I came into town. He was the one who suggested I come see you, Mayor Lunasa, sir.”
He gestured to a small sitting area off to the side of his office. “Please, call me Rhysand. What brings you Rose Creek, Rowan?”
Removing his hat, Rowan followed Rhysand, taking a seat on the plush, upholstered couch, and said, “I’m a duly sworn warrant officer in Prythian, Terrasen, Lunathion, Adarlan, and seven other states and Indian territories. I’ve come with a warrant for a man who was said to have been in this area last.”
“And who might that be?” Rhysand asked, crossing an ankle over a leg.
“A man named Grave,” Rowan replied, retrieving the warrant from his breast pocket, handing it to Rhysand. “Known to be a brutal man. Killed a homesteader a few months back, took advantage of his wife before he gave her the same fate.”
Rhys was looking at the charcoal drawing of the man. “Well, Mr. Whitethorn-.”
“Rowan, please,” he interrupted.
Rhys nodded. “Rowan, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve seen this man, but I’m not sure he’s in the condition you’re hoping for.”
“Why’s that, sir?”
He handed the warrant back to Rowan. “Because he’s currently in a wooden box, awaiting his final home six feet deep.”
Rowan nodded. “That’s alright with me.”
Dark eyebrows rose. “But that means no reward for you.”
Another nod. “I don’t do it for the money, Mayor. I do it for justice.”
A strange look filled Rhysand’s eyes, a shade of blue Rowan wasn’t used to, nearly purple in hue. “Is that so?” He stood and made his way over to his desk. “Mr. Whitethorn, I have a proposition for you. It seems my town is in need of a sheriff. It seems like the Cauldron brought you to Rose Creek for a reason. You seem like a just man, with a good head on your shoulders.” He turned and walked back to where Rowan sat, tossing something on the table between them. “I’m out of options, Mr. Whitethorn. It’s a salaried position, and this is a fairly quiet town, but this is the West, sir.”
Rowan slowly looked down at the table, where a six-pointed badge sat.
“You want me to be the sheriff?” Rowan asked, carefully, lifting his chin as he did so. “And stay here?”
“For the time being, yes,” Rhysand said, cocking his head to the side.
Rowan wondered how he had become the mayor. He had to be young, around his own age, anyway. Young for a mayor. He thought to hang onto the question for now.
“I have to get back-.”
“We’re in need of a sheriff, Mr. Whitethorn,” Rhysand said, his voice remaining low, his eyes bright.
“Rowan,” Rowan corrected, again. “Please.”
Rhysand nodded, once. “Rowan. On top of your salary, I will give you free room and board.”
Rowan lifted a brow. “It seems you're desperate, Mayor.”
“Would it change anything if I were desperate?” Rhysand asked, humored. “You see, my people need protection, Mr. Whitethorn.”
“Rowan.”
“Of course,” Rhysand went on, waving a hand. “My people need protection, Rowan, and I feel like someone like you can provide that. The moment you want to move on, you may, but until then, you will be paid, and you will have a place to stay.”
For a moment, Rowan said nothing. He thought about it in the silence, then snatched the badge off the table.
Rhysand’s grin grew. “Very well. Your office is across the street, Sheriff.”
“And where will I be staying?” He asked, running his finger across the embossed lettering on the star.
“If you’d like, the former sheriff has a home right outside of town. He had no family, so it’s sat unoccupied since his death,” Rhysand replied.
Rowan nodded. “And my deputy? I’ve heard he’s been handling things in the sheriff’s stead?”
“Ress,” Rhysand said, standing and making his way back to his desk. Rowan could tell their conversation was coming to an end. “A good young man, he was close with the former sheriff. He was a mentor of sorts to him.”
Standing himself, Rowan put on his hat and headed for the door. “I promise to do my best, Mayor, but I’m an outsider to these people. They might not respect what I have to say.”
Sitting back down, Rhys said, “Your best is all I can ask for, but seeing that on your hip,” his eyes fell on Rowan’s Deringer at his side, “makes me feel a hell of a lot better than I have in weeks.”
Rowan nodded, tipped his hat, and was walking down the stairs.
True to Rhysand’s word, the sheriff’s office was just across the street.
He crossed the way, and ascended the creaky, wooden stairs. The door was already open, but no one was inside. At least, not where Rowan could see.
“Anyone here?” he called, his voice low. With every step he took, the floorboards creaked, and as he peeked into the back hallway, he saw a shadow from the back just as a voice replied, “Back!”
Rowan trekked down the hall, looking at the wanted posters as he passed.
In the back, just in front of the barred cells, was a young man, perhaps in his late teens, mopping the floor. As Rowan entered, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Can I help you?” he asked, his voice not unkind, but tired.
“I’m Rowan Whitethorn,” he said, having a feeling he would have to introduce himself another hundred times before people began to get the hang of it. “The new sheriff.”
A breath left the kid, as if the news he had just received was some of the greatest he’d heard in some time. “I’m Ress. Current deputy.”
Rowan tipped his hat.
Ress dropped the mop in the old tin bucket with a sigh. “I wasn’t aware we we’re getting a new sheriff, but I’m pleased, it’s long overdue.”
“I’ve heard,” Rowan said, simply. “I heard you were close to the old sheriff. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Ress nodded in thanks. “It’s nice to meet you.” He looked down at the star on his chest, his own title emblazoned on the front. With a heavy sigh, he took it off and held it out to him. “Good luck.”
Rowan blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“Good luck,” he repeated. “I can’t stay here. I just… I've got to leave this town, sir.”
Rowan hesitantly took the badge from his outstretched hand. Without another word, Ress stepped around Rowan, walked out of the office and mounted his horse tied up around the side. By the time, he made it out onto the small front porch, Ress was halfway down the street, heading out of town.
He blinked, staring after him and then looking down at the five-pointed star in his hand. Things just got much more complicated than he was expecting.
He sighed and turned around, walking back into the office and sitting down at his new desk.
It was plain, bland. There was no indication that anyone had been there before him. At least it was clean, no webs, no nothing. He ran his fingers across the smooth top before opening the drawers, one by one. He found a few sheets of paper and a couple empty bottles before coming across a half-empty bottle of whiskey.
With a sigh, he popped off the lid and sniffed it with a grin.
The shit was strong.
He put it to his lips, downing a good bit before leaning back in his chair and looking around his new office.
His new post.
Sheriff of a little town out west.
Ress hauling ass out of town was what unsettled Rowan the most. He understood grief after losing someone, but it seemed like there was more the young deputy wanted to get away from.
With a shake of his head, Rowan was left alone wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.
—————
Aelin followed Aedion up the stairs of the saloon, jovial music flowing out. The sun was setting below the mountains in the distance. She could hear what sounded like a fight inside, but that was to be expected. Her cousin held the swinging door open for her and they found that their little saloon was packed full, a rowdy night ahead of their little town.
She scanned the bar, finding the eyes of her closest friend. Lysandra was, of course, perched in the lap of a well-dressed man. He already seemed three sheets to the wind, and Aelin could see that regardless the fact that they were still in the company of his friends, in the eyes of everyone in the saloon, his hand was already moving under her skirts.
She knew Aedion had seen, as well, and she gripped his arm and pulled him to the bar before he could say or do something stupid. He obeyed, though his jaw was set, and he flagged Hunt down, asking for two whiskeys.
He set them down and Aelin asked, “Where’s Ress? He’s typically halfway through a bottle of Busthead by now.”
“Left,” Hunt said, looking around at the busy saloon. “Rhys hired a new sheriff, and Ress took the opportunity to run.”
Aedion’s brows furrowed, downing his whiskey. After one last look at Lysandra, he asked, “Ran? Where?”
Hunt shrugged. “No idea, he didn’t bother to say goodbye.”
“Who is this new sheriff?” Aelin asked, hesitantly, looking around, as if she would instantly spot him and all of her questions would be answered.
“Rowan Whitethorn.” Hunt meandered a little further down the bar, topping off an elderly woman with an absurd feathered headband. “Just got into town. Met with Rhys, Rhys made him sheriff.”
Aedion looked at Aelin and didn’t like the look that had taken over her face. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips in a straight line.
“Don’t-.”
“I’m going to see Rhys,” Aelin said, already hopping off her stool. Before Aedion could protest, Aelin was already out the door, walking down to Rhysand’s office. His light was still on, Aelin could still see the gas lamp burning near his open window.
She didn’t bother to knock on the front door, rather she let herself in and was up the stairs before it had time to swing closed behind her.
Rhys’ head snapped up when she appeared in his doorway, forgetting whatever document he was looking at. “Miss Galathynius, hello.”
“I heard there’s a new sheriff.” She was breathless from the hurried walk over. “And I heard we need a new deputy.”
With a sigh, Rhysand sat down the pen in his hand. “I was afraid Ress might leave town with the position filled. I’ll have to see who I can come up with in the meantime. Cassian would-.”
“Let me,” she interrupted. “And not in the meantime. Let me be the sheriff’s deputy.”
Folding his hands on his desk, Rhys looked at her. “Aelin, are you sure that’s something you want?”
“You know I can handle myself, sir.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in her eyes.
“That you can,” he said, rubbing his jaw in thought. “I’ll sign it into effect tomorrow. I believe I still saw a lamp on, across the street, in the apartment above the office. I believe you’ll find Sheriff Whitethorn there, if you’d like to make an introduction, Deputy Galathynius.”
Aelin liked the sound of that. “Thank you, Mayor Lunasa.”
“Please, call me-.”
“Rhys, yeah, yeah,” Aelin said, rolling her eyes, fondly, as she picked up her skirts.
Rhysand only chuckled as Aelin inclined her head, then left. She would be the first to admit that she didn’t act like most ladies did. Sure, she was cordial, respectful, and modest, but Aelin Galathynius wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, especially to a man.
It was a well-known fact.
Aelin walked across the street, keeping her eye on the lamp that burned in the apartment above the sheriff's office. She didn’t bother announcing her entrance as she swept through the front door. At first, she went toward the stairs in the back, but then she noticed the sloshing noise and took a turn, where a tall, broad-shouldered man was on his hands and knees, scrubbing at the floor with an old rag.
He must’ve been in the zone, because he hadn’t heard her answer.
“What are you doing?”
He froze, slowly looking over his shoulder at Aelin. His hat was off, his sleeves rolled up, his silver hair a sweaty mess.
“Cleaning up blood that I did not spill,” he replied, voice gruff. “Can I help you?”
Aelin lifted her chin. “I’m your new deputy.”
He blinked. “Excuse me, miss?”
“You are Sheriff Whitethorn, correct?” He nodded. “Then I’m your deputy. Mayor Lunasa has already made it official. All I lack is my badge, sir.”
Dropping the blood-soaked, dirty rag into the bucket, Rowan stood up to his full height, and Aelin had to tilt her head up to look into his face. “Miss, I don’t know what Rhysand told you but-.”
“My name is Aelin Galathynius, Sheriff Whitethorn, and I’d prefer you use it over miss, ma’am, or any of the other bullshit men call me.”
He blinked, completely taken off guard. “Pardon?”
“I can tell what you’re thinking, sir.”
Rowan couldn’t help but chuckle, although the light didn’t reach his eyes. “And what is that, Aelin Galathynius?”
The way he said her name only pissed her off more.
“That I have no business being a deputy because I’m a woman,” Aelin snapped. “Which, I protest, considering there is no logical reasoning for it. Yes, I am a woman, and yes, I am perfectly capable of being an outstanding deputy.”
“With all due respect,” Rowan began, without missing a beat, “there is no way you can do this job well wearing...that.” His eyes travelled over her dress, her heeled boots, and her exquisite hat. “Besides, your hair is pristine, and whatever that is on your face. You wouldn’t want to mess it up, doing whatever must be done any given day in this line of work.”
Aelin took pride in her appearance, but she also took pride in her skill.
“I have the best shot in this town,” Aelin said, hands on her hips. “And, with all due respect, the mayor has already granted my wish, and you have no say in the matter.”
“We’ll see about that,” Rowan said, seething.
Aelin lifted up her skirt, and Rowan averted his eyes, although her undergarments remained perfectly hidden as she took her gun out of the holster on her thigh.
Rowan stilled. “What are you doing?”
“Proving a point,” she said, chin raised. “Give me a target.”
“I’m not going to-.”
She pointed the gun into the front room, pulled the trigger and Rowan heard glass shattering.
“Are you insane?” He cried, running to the front of the office. “You can’t shoot out the damn windows! You could-.”
She followed him after holstering her gun at her thigh and fluffing out her skirts. He was staring, wide eyed at his desk, covered in whiskey. The bottle was intact, but the shot glass that had been filled with amber liquid next to it…
It no longer existed.
He heard her heeled boots coming up behind him and as she stepped around him, she grabbed the five-pointed badge lying on the corner of his desk.
“I’ll see you in the morning, Sheriff, and don’t worry,” she said, looming over her shoulder. “I’ll make sure I don’t look so pristine.”
_________
Nesta was running late, but she was so tired that she really didn’t care.
She would be punished for something, anyway, it may as well have been for another twenty minutes of freedom. After slipping on her boots and pushing open the door, Nesta came to a halt.
Elain was bent over her flower bed, clipping lilies.
“I thought you would be in town already,” Nesta said, shutting the front door behind her.
Elain stood up, a handful of lilies in her arms. “Azriel buried another man today. I was going to go decorate the tombless patch of dirt.”
Nesta looked out at the horizon. “It’s getting dark, El. You shouldn’t be going to the graveyard alone at dark.” Or, anywhere at dark, alone.
“I’m not, Azriel will be here shortly to go with me,” she assured her older sister.
Nesta nodded, descending the stairs. “Be careful. I’ll be home late, don’t wait up.”
“I won’t,” Elain said, although she always did.
Giving her sister one more glance, she wrapped her shawl tighter around herself and hurried into town, hoping she could make it before Maeve realized she was late. She knew there was no chance, was sure she was already watching the door from her booth. It made her pick up her pace, just a little more.
A horse whinnied from up ahead and she glanced up to see Cassian Nazari dismounting from his horse, outside of the saloon. He was walking up the stairs, and Nesta breathed a sigh of relief, as she thought she wouldn’t have to deal with his longing glances tonight. But then he stopped.
As if he could feel her gaze, he turned to look at her, and Nesta’s steps slowed until she was standing in the middle of the dusty road. She stood there, waiting for him to enter the saloon. He stood, waiting for her to come closer, but he didn’t. She wouldn’t until he was inside, so she wouldn’t have to listen to his pleas.
Nesta wasn’t stuck in Maeve’s servitude like many of her girls. Nesta was there to keep Elain from her clutches, knowing she’d do something ensnare her.
It made every day hell on earth, but Nesta would continue to do it, would continue to enslave herself, if it meant keeping Elain safe. Elain didn’t have the heart for such a life, wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Cassian’s eyes slowly fell to his feet before he continued his walk inside of the saloon, where he disappeared. A sudden pang of disappointment settled into the pit of Nesta’s stomach, even though he went in without her, which was exactly what she had wanted.
As she entered, she avoided Cassian’s stare from the bar as she swept inside. She also avoided Maeve’s glare, but she didn’t make it far.
“Nesta.”
Nesta stopped as she approached the wooden staircase and slowly turned around.
Maeve sat in her booth, staring daggers at Nesta from where she sat. Nesta kept her chin held high as she approached the booth.
She didn’t say a word.
“You are late,” Maeve said, quietly. “Which costs me money.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied. She knew there was no point in apologizing or giving excuses. Maeve wouldn’t listen and they were likely to piss her off more. “I’ll be dressed and find a client in just a few moments.”
“You’ve already got a client,” Maeve replied, putting a cigarette to her lips and lighting a match. The tip of the cigarette glowed red, just like her painted lips. “Mr. Mandray has paid handsomely for your time, and you will be in his service for two hours. Now go. There’s cosmetics in your room. Use them, you have bags under your eyes.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Nesta repeated, and was hurrying up the stairs.
Nesta didn’t live in the brothel above the saloon, not like some of the less fortunate girls. No, when their father had passed unexpectedly last winter, the house and land they lived on was already paid in full.
As she reached her door, the one across the hall opened and Nesta found Bryce Quinlar pulling her own shut. Her hair was a mess and the cosmetics she wore were smeared. She wore only a corset, thigh highs and her boots. She was bare from the waist down. Their eyes connected and Nesta quickly pulled a handkerchief from the bag she carried.
“Here.” She wiped the wayward makeup from her face and did her best to make her look presentable. She knew what walk she was about to have to make, they’d all had to do it from time to time.
The smile was sad, but it was a smile as she breathed, “Thank you.”
As Nesta entered her room to get ready for her own client, Bryce stood at the top of the stairs, trying to calm her shallow breathing.
Her room was lavish.
Maeve always made sure of it, that their rooms were beautiful, exquisite even. It was their reward for doing her dirty work, night after night.
They were forced to sell their bodies, but at least they had silk sheets.
At the vanity on the far wall was the cosmetics that Maeve had so lovingly suggested that she used. She did, primping herself to perfection. After she figured she looked beautiful enough, she stripped out of her street dress and exchanged her old, ratty corset for the one that Maeve had paid for, the one that the clients liked. She rolled her stockings up to her thighs, then slipped on her boots, lacing them up before she sat on the edge of the bed, posing, waiting.
She tried not to think of what Bryce was currently enduring downstairs. For whatever it was worth, she sent whatever power she could to her imprisoned sister on the floor below.
A sudden knock came to the door, and Nesta tried not to jump. At least, she tried to erase the tense hold in her shoulders as the door swung open, and Tomas Mandray swept in, shutting the door behind him.
His bleary eyes were instantly on her, hungry.
Nesta pushed down the need to puke as she lifted her chin and whispered, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
The night had only just begun.
—————
Bryce was on her third client and it wasn’t even eight-thirty. She was exhausted, but she wasn’t about to show it, wasn’t about to exact Maeve’s wrath upon herself.
The man lying on the bed beneath her was old enough to be her father, possibly even her grandfather. She couldn’t remember his name, nor did she want to, but she remembered what Maeve had murmured in her ear before she sat her on his lap in the saloon.
He’s paid a premium for you. What he wants, he gets.
Usually that meant she was going to be spit on or defiled in some way. But sometimes, that meant he wanted to humiliate her. The dark gleam in this man’s eyes told her early in the evening that she needed to shut her mind down, to take herself to that place inside of her head that could numb her.
“Get off.” The man gripped her hips and shoved her off of him. “Go get me a drink.” She nodded and climbed off the bed, reaching for her skirts-. “No.”
Bryce turned to look at him, hoping he didn’t see the pleading in her eyes.
“Leave them off.”
A silent nod and she was out the door.
The kindness Nesta Archeron offered her was more than she deserved and after cleaning her up a bit, Bryce was walking down the stairs, cool air hitting her in places she wished it never would.
Every eye was on her as she descended the stairs, some in pity, some hunger, some judgement. She tried not to look at any of them, most of all Maeve, who looked proud of the good little whore she’d become.
She paid attention to no one, nothing, until she was at the bar, but when she met the eyes of Hunt Athalar, he was shaking, seething.
“Don’t, please,” she breathed, barely a whisper. She and Hunt had had the same conversation a million times, and she was so tired, it just wasn’t worth it, wasn’t worth the repetitiveness, not anymore.
“He doesn’t even have the decency to let you dress?” he snapped, his voice low, looking around, giving anyone looking at her a death-glare.
In a dreadful, monotone voice, Bryce answered, “He isn’t finished yet.”
Hunt’s jaw hardened. “Bryce-.”
“Whiskey.”
“Bryce,” he tried, again, unmoving. “Let me give you my jacket, something-.”
“Whiskey,” she repeated, trying to keep that part of her shut down, those emotions that longed for the man behind the bar, the yearning that brewed so passionately beneath the surface.
With weary eyes he fetched a half-empty bottle of whiskey and handed it to her. As she reached for it, he wrapped his hand around hers, not caring who saw.
“I’ve almost got enough,” he whispered, leaning over the bar, closer to her. She could smell the bourbon on his breath, could see the desperate plea in his eyes.
She glanced around, making sure Maeve couldn’t see them, seeing if anyone was watching. “It will never be enough, Hunt, she’ll always-.”
“I don’t give a shit. One day, we’re leaving this piece of shit town behind. You and me.”
Before she could let herself believe him, before she could let herself hope or dream or even feel, she swallowed hard and hurried away, back up the stairs, back to her own personal hell.
#snelbz rar#snacmc#sjm crossover#snelbz tacmc collab#tog#acotar#hoeab#rowaelin#feysand#quinlar#theranchnessian#elriel#lysaedion
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The Ranch {22}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
Two weeks after Nesta was discharged from the hospital, Cassian found himself waking up to the sun peeking through the master bedroom of the main house, the scent of bacon filling the air. After blinking a few times to clear his vision, he propped himself up on his elbows to find the other side of the king-sized bed empty, as well as the little bassinet he made that sat on the floor. With a fond shake of his head, his loose hair swinging in all different directions, he put his feet onto the hardwood floor and began his trek through the house.
He followed the delicious smell into the kitchen, where Sloan was laying in a bouncy seat, calm and happy as could be, only a few feet away from where Nesta stood in front of the stove.
“You should’ve woken me up,” Cassian mumbled, walking up behind Nesta and pressing a soft kiss to her neck before wrapping his arms around her waist. “We talked about you taking it easy for a few weeks.”
She leaned back into his body with a small smile. “It’s been a few weeks. I need to cook. And I need to eat something other than your delicious spaghetti and sandwiches.”
She turned around to meet him with a kiss on the lips before he said, “Hey, my spaghetti and sandwiches are delicious.”
Nesta just snorted and pushed against his chest, then Cassian was down on his knees on the hard floor to peek down at his baby girl. “Good morning, beautiful.”
Her dark-blue eyes were wide as she looked up at her daddy but then they roamed around the room again. In the past two weeks, Sloan had been a fairly quiet baby. She loved to look around at her surroundings, to stare up at faces, especially their family, and each time she saw something new, her eyes lit up.
Cassian leaned in and looked closely at her. With a raised eyebrow, he said, “Ooh, Nes, it looks like her eyes are changing.”
Nesta didn’t look away from the skillet. “I’m aware. I carried her for nine months, I went through literal hell and back and gave birth to her squatting over a towel, with no drugs, just for her to come out and look just like you.”
The bitterness in her voice was clearly sarcastic, and Cassian chuckled. “Her eyes could change for up to six months. She could end up with Uncle Rhysie’s eyes for all we know.”
“If that happened, I’m sure you’d have questions,” Nesta mumbled, and Cassian’s grin widened as he unbuckled Sloan from the bouncy seat and slipped her out, cradling her in his arms.
Nesta watched as he rounded the island and pulled out a kitchen chair. Once he was sitting, his feet propped up on the chair across from him, he got his face close to Sloan’s and whispered, “I love you.”
Sloan’s lips fell open as she looked up with wide eyes at Cassian. For a moment, the kitchen remained silent as the two stared at one another, Nesta staring at them. Since she gave birth, Nesta had been overly emotional - which was to be expected, but it had Cassian tip-toeing around her sensitive feelings. So when he heard her sniffle from her place in front of the stovetop, he tensed, before slowly breaking his gaze with Sloan’s and finding Nesta’s.
“I’m okay,” she said, voice breaking, turning off the burners. “Bacon?”
Cassian chuckled, watching her with soft eyes as she took a piece of crunchy bacon off the plate, already cooled off, next to the stove and took a bite. “I wish you’d come relax, Nes.”
She shook her head, and before Cassian could get up to make himself a plate, she was already walking toward him, a plate in each hand. She set one down in front of him before rounding the table and sitting down across from him, digging into her bacon, eggs, and avocado toast.
“Tell me to relax one more time and see where it gets you,” she said, raising a brow.
Cassian only shook his head while holding Sloan in one arm, and using the other to pick at his plate.
“By the way, everyone’s coming over for dinner tonight,” Nesta continued.
Cassian paused and looked around at the kitchen. It was a disaster, similar to the rest of the house. Balancing a newborn and daily chores wasn’t as easy as they’d been hoping, but they also weren’t expecting Nesta’s recovery to be as intense. Life had thrown them a curveball and they were taking it day by day.
But this house could not be cleaned in a day.
Before Cassian could protest, Nesta said, “Az will be over to help at two-thirty when I start cooking and little miss will hang out with mommy while daddy and Uncle Az clean.” Her sentence started out normal but had descended into baby talk by the end.
“You’re cooking?” Cassian asked, blinking. “For six people? Nesta-.”
“Don’t tell me to relax,” she sang, and when she caught Cassian’s uncertain expression, she sighed. “I’m not going crazy, it’s just a simple meal.”
Cassian continued to stare at her.
“I promise,” she added.
Cassian didn’t like it, but only because it worried him. “Fine, but also promise me that at the first sign of you feeling tired or achy or whatever, you sit and call for me, so I can help.”
“Promise,” she said, although the light in her eyes told him that she would do no such thing.
He narrowed his own eyes at her. “Why are we having dinner here? Can’t we have dinner at Rhys and Feyre’s place? They didn’t just have a baby.”
“Because,” Nesta said, taking Sloan from her daddy. “I want to cook. I miss cooking. I miss my sisters and they want to watch Az and Rhys melt into a puddle when they hold the most perfect baby in existence.”
Cassian chuckled and picked his plate up, practically inhaling the meal. Nesta was heading for the laundry room when she heard him groan. “Okay, you win. Better than my spaghetti and sandwiches, for sure.”
After he finished scooping up the last few crumbs, he was doing the dishes, begging Nesta to rest until Azriel showed up later.
She agreed, but she wasn’t happy about it. She took Sloan to the couch to keep her company while she folded a basket of laundry, then turned on bad reality television, which she quickly fell asleep to.
Cassian snorted when he saw her sprawled out on the couch, snoring quietly.
He scooped a yawning Sloan up and sat with her in the recliner, rocking back and forth until she was also put to sleep by the sounds of shitty reality TV. Meanwhile, Cassian quickly became addicted to the real housewives of something or another.
__
When Nesta’s eyes fluttered open, the first thing she noticed was how rested she felt. She stretched and snuggled back into her pillows.
Then she realized she was back in her bed.
Nesta sat up, looking around. “Cass?” Their bedroom door was cracked and Beau was laying on the foot of the bed, but Sloan wasn’t in her bassinet. She glanced over at the clock.
Nesta had never gotten out of bed so quickly in her life.
Pulling her mother’s old robe on, she hurried downstairs and-.
She froze halfway down the stairs and called, “Cassian?”
“Kitchen!”
She cautiously walked down the rest of the stairs and around the corner.
Cassian was standing at the island, while Sloan drooled on his chest where she was strapped into the carrier, fast asleep. Nesta looked around the kitchen, turned back to the living room, and looked back at Cassian.
The house was spotless.
He blinked at her surprise. “Your mouth is hanging open. Not very ladylike.”
She was too shocked to respond to his sarcasm. “The house looks amazing.”
He shrugged. “I know how to clean, apparently.”
“Where’s Azriel?”
“Found your ingredients list,” Cassian said, gesturing to the grocery list on the fridge. “I assumed it was for your simple dinner but you were missing a few things, so he ran up to the market a second to get them for you.”
Nestas brows shot up nearly into her hairline. “You let me sleep.”
“Yes,” he continued, popping an apple slice into his mouth. Sloan stirred against his chest, but quickly went limp again, her cheek squished up against his skin, her little lips hanging open. Cassian chuckled. “Oh, by the way, Sloan’s a fan of the carrier.”
“I see that,” Nesta said, still surprised.
The back door swung open and Azriel stepped in with a paper bag filled with food from the market. He saw Nesta and smiled, softly, before kissing her cheek. “Good morning. Or, afternoon. Whatever. How are you feeling?” After setting the bag on the counter, he walked around the island to peek at his niece, who he kissed on the forehead.
“What? I don’t get one?” Cassian asked, obviously feeling left out of Azriel’s affections.
He just rolled his eyes as he leaned back against the counter and looked at Nesta.
“Really good, actually,” she said. “Pretty well rested.”
“Good,” he smiled, and Nesta was so damn happy they had someone like Az in their life. He’d been their saving grace in more ways than one over the past year, and she wouldn’t ever be able to thank him enough for loving Elain as completely as he did. “I’ve got to pick a few things up before dinner, shower, shave, all that fun stuff. Is it cool if I…?”
Nesta laughed and said, “Of course, we’ll see you later. Call if you need anything.”
With a nervous smile, he was out the back doorway and Cassian was looking at Nesta with narrowed eyes.
She crossed her arms and asked, “What?”
He took a bite of another apple. “You’re meddling.”
“I’ve never meddled,” she said, simply.
“Liar,” he crooned, starting to bounce as Sloan stirred, once again. “You're- ow! Shit!”
Sloan had her mouth pressed against Cassian’s skin, just above his chest, sucking against it, hoping to find milk and only getting frustrated.
“She’s like a tiny, fucking vacuum, what the hell,” Cassian muttered, pulling her off, only to have her start crying. He took her out of the carrier and gently handed her over to Nesta.
Nesta cradled her in her arm and unlatched her nursing cami, helping Sloan latch as she said, “Yeah, now you know how my tits feel.”
Cassian crowned, rubbing at the pained spot on his skin. “Your poor nipples.”
Nesta rolled her eyes as she laughed quietly, Sloan finally satisfied as her tummy filled with milk.
Cassian began taking what Azriel had bought out of the bag and pulling it away. “What else needs to be done before your big night of hosting a family dinner?”
Nesta held Sloan close to her as she opened up a cabinet and pulled out a giant skillet. “Well, seeing how you let me sleep in and now it’s getting late….you, my love, are helping me cook. Welcome to the life of a chef's assistant. You’re my sous-chef of the night.”
Cassian rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh….yay…”
She tossed him an apron, which he caught effortlessly and stared at for an extended period of time.
“Shit, you’re serious?” He asked, watching as she retrieved everything she’d need to prep from under counters, out of cabinets, and from the pantry, all with only one arm while Sloan made happy noises as she fed.
“I am.” She set a box of lasagna noodles on the island and grabbed ground beef and Italian sausage from the refrigerator. “Earn your keep, Nazari.”
Cassian learned that when he had the proper instructions, or a cute baby strapped to his chest to entertain him, he really enjoyed cooking. Or it may have been that every time Nesta reached up into a cabinet or bent down to look into the oven, her robe rode up and he got a glimpse of her ass.
He was a little bitter that she wouldn’t let him taste anything, though. Every time he reached for a nibble, his hand got slapped away.
And it smelled so damn good.
Hours later, Sloan was sleeping soundly in her swing and Cassian was sneaking into the bathroom, the water already running and steamy as Nesta’s shadow moved from behind the curtain. After kicking off his sweatpants, he climbed into the shower behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
Her body shook with quiet laughter. “And what do you think you’re doing?”
“Saving time,” he mumbled, moving her wet hair aside and pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. “Imagining all the things i’m gonna do to you when we can have sex again.”
“Ah, my fiancé, father of my child, the romantic,” Nesta crooned, before turning around to wrap her arms around his neck. Her eyes opened wide. “Speaking of, where is she?” She leaned around him and moved the shower curtain aside, trying to peek out.
“She is safe and sound, sleeping and just generally being all around perfect. And in case she wakes up,” he said, already seeing the question in her eyes. “The baby monitor is by the sink.”
She was looking at him with pursed lips, her head tilting slightly to the left. “And you burped her after I fed her?
He nodded, leaning closer. “Mhmm.”
Nesta was looking up at him, lips parted. “And you checked her diaper?”
“I even changed it,” he breathed, his lips brushing against hers. “Father of the Year, I know.”
She chuckled. “Fuck the six week rule,” she said, her quiet voice full of sarcasm. “I need you right now.”
Regardless of the fact that Nesta was right and they both knew they were still a full month away from sex, Cassian kissed her until she was breathless. Gods, he wanted to touch her breasts, but knew how sore they’d become from Sloan.
After a minute of soft, slow kisses, Nesta pushed Cassian’s back against the cool wall and he pulled his lips from hers. “We can’t, Nes-.”
“They said I can’t. They didn’t say anything about you,” she said with a smirk.
“You need to rest,” he muttered, but then she kissed his chest and cupped his balls, making him forget his protests.
She sunk down to her knees before him, taking his hardening cock into her hands and pumping, slowly, before sliding her tongue over the tip and taking him wholly into her mouth.
His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned back against the tiled wall, and he wasn’t even ashamed that he didn’t last long, because the feeling of her mouth sliding over such sensitive skin, of his long fingers tangled into her soaked hair, of the quiet moans that vibrated against his cock, for his pleasure alone, had every bone inside of him completely and utterly on fire.
“Sweetheart,” he breathed, fighting to keep his eyes open. “I’m about to cum.”
His warning was less of a heads up and more of an it’s happening right now thing.
With a groan, he bucked his hips once, and filled her mouth.
She didn’t hesitate, only stayed perfectly still, drinking him in, eyes locked on his, helping him ride it out with a slow, deep bob of her head.
Cassian’s body relaxed as he ran his hands through his hair, Nesta’s lips trailing kisses up his abdomen, then his neck, and his own lips as he caught his breath.
“Now bathe,” she whispered, patting his chest. “Everyone arrives in an hour.”
She left with nothing more, but Cassian peeked out of the curtain and watched her dry off before she disappeared into the bedroom.
__
“You love Aunt Feyre the most, don't you? Yes, you do.”
Sloan’s wide-eyed stare roved over Feyre’s face and then around the room.
“I think it’s too early to say who her favorite is,” Elain said, from where she sat on Azriel’s lap. She was just bitter that both times she’d held Sloan tonight, the baby had ended up crying and had to be given to either Cassian or Nesta.
Feyre rolled her eyes, and said, still in a high-pitched, baby-talk voice, “That's bullshit. Yes it is.”
Nesta laughed and shook her head and Elain’s pursed lips.
Cassian, having taken way too long to get ready and came down dressed five minutes after everyone had gotten there, now swept into the living room holding a plate of appetizers that he’d scolded Nesta for making.
Even though he’d helped her.
Every time she wasn’t taking it easy, she got Cassian’s evil eye.
Except for when she was down on her knees in the shower.
He hadn’t complained then.
“When are you gonna knock Feyre up?” Cassian asked, flicking Rhysand on the back of the head. “Apparently she’s good with babies.”
“It’s a work in progress,” he said with a smirk.
“Rhys!” Elain said, blush high on her cheeks.
He laughed and Feyre chuckled and said, “I mean, he’s not wrong.”
Nesta’s eyebrows rose. “You’re trying to have a baby?”
They glanced at one another, softly smiling, and Feyre looked back down at Sloan. Rhys said, “I wouldn’t say we’re trying, it’s more that we’re not not trying.”
“Hell yeah, give Sloan a cousin,” Cassian said, setting the plate down and taking his squirming daughter. He immediately dissolved into baby-talk, which happened every time he held his daughter, something that never failed to make Nesta melt. “Babies are the best. Especially when they’re perfect like you.”
“Stop, or I’m gonna want you to knock me up all over again,” she crooned, leaning over the back of the couch to wrap her arms around his body and kissing the top of his head.
“Don’t tempt me,” he shot back, still in his baby talk voice.
“We’re all sitting right here,” Azriel awkwardly sang, eyeing the new parents.
Nesta laughed, quietly, wandering to an armchair on the opposite side of the couch. “Don’t worry. We’re going to get married first before we think of having more babies. Besides, Sloan was a miracle baby, so who knows if we’ll even have any more.”
“If we don’t, that’ll be okay, too,” Cassian added, eyes soft.
“Yeah,” Nesta agreed, watching him with their daughter. “It’ll be perfect, either way.”
“Oh my gods,” Elain breathed, fanning her eyes. “Stop or you’ll make me cry. Y’all are so sweet.”
“Yeah, so sweet that you’re going to make me puke,” Rhys said, standing. “Let’s eat.”
Nesta just sighed and said “Y’all go sit down, I’ll have it right out.” Nesta knew Cassian would immediately offer to help, so she said, “Rhys, will you give me a hand?”
“Sure thing,” he said, not hesitating as she headed in the direction of the kitchen.
They walked through the door and Rhys took a deep breath. “Cassian told me he helped and I refuse to believe he could make something that smells this good.”
She laughed and said, “He did actually. Though I think he was more of a distraction than Sloan was.” She turned back towards him when she reached the island. “I have an ulterior motive for bringing you in here.”
Rhysand’s eyebrows raised. He warily said, “Okay?”
“When I pull Feyre up to the nursery after dinner, I need you to convince Cass to leave Az and Elain alone together for a few minutes.”
Understanding lit up his face. “For real?”
She nodded, smiling. “For real.”
Rhysand was terrible at keeping secrets. Not because he said a word about it, but because he was practically bouncing in his seat for the entirety of their meal. Feyre kept looking at him, concerned, asking if he was feeling okay.
Nesta just kept shaking her head, apologizing silently to Azriel that she’d asked Rhysand for the minor part in his grand plan.
After dinner, where everybody asked for seconds and not a crumb was leftover, their party made their way back into the living room. Wine was provided, and everyone but Nesta, who was breastfeeding, indulged themselves.
Which was ironic, considering Nesta picked out and paid for the fancy variety that lined the coffee table.
Feyre whistled as she popped to top to a sweet red and filled herself a glass. “You really went all out, Nes.”
“I only get the best for my family,” she said, unable to help her gaze slowly trail to Azriel, where he was plopped back on the couch, Elain in his lap, once again.
They talked and laughed and just enjoyed each other’s presence. It had been a long few weeks, understandably so, and the six of them had had so little time all together. “Nesta?”
She looked up from where Sloan was silently staring up at the ceiling in wonder. The baby loved the mobile hanging above her head, but she adored ceiling fans. Cassian was planning to put one in her nursery when he had a spare moment to breathe. Feyre was looking at her with concern on her face. “Are you...okay?”
For a minute, Nesta wasn’t sitting on a comfortable couch, fiancé’s arm around her. No she was in a rigid wooden chair, rope wrapped over and around her. The skin on her wrists was going to be permanently scarred from how hard she’d tried to break free, and that same panicked fear she’d felt filled her veins. Cassian’s arms tightened around her and she didn’t have to look up at him to know he was giving her as much of his strength as he could. Nesta’s eyes flicked back down to Sloan, who was gazing at her now. The love she felt for the sweet baby girl in her arms was overwhelming most days. She didn’t know it was possible to love someone so much. She took a deep breath. “Yeah, I am. I’m just...still processing, I think.” She looked up at Cassian who was looking down at her with the same sad look in his eyes.
“I can imagine,” Elain breathed.
No one really knew what to say other than what had already been said in the recent weeks. For a moment, they dwelled in a comfortable silence, Cassian drawing small circles with his fingers on her arm. Nesta didn’t know how long it would take to process what had happened to her. She wasn’t sure if she would ever fully process it. What had happened to her had been a nightmare, to say the least, but as she looked back down at Sloan, she realized she would do it all over again if it meant that Sloan was born happy and healthy and safe.
The nightmare she was forced to go through would linger, but it would not ruin the outcome, would not take away from the gift she’d been given.
Her daughter.
Her miracle baby.
Cassian pressed a kiss to the top of Nesta’s head and then took Sloan, who brightened up as soon as she was in her father’s arms.
Elain was tearing up as she watched the precious scene, holding Azriel’s hand on her lap. His eyes flicked to Nesta and she saw the smallest inclination of his head. Nesta said, “Feyre, can I show you something I was thinking of adding to the walls in Sloan’s room?”
“Of course,” Feyre said, grabbing her wine glass and standing.
Elain said, “I wanna see,” and moved to stand, but Azriel’s arm tightened around her waist.
Rhysand asked Cassian, “Did you ever draw up plans for the new stables?”
Cass said, “Oh, shit, yeah, they’re in the kitchen on the island. Come on, I’ll show you.”
“That was weird,” Feyre whispered, as she followed Nesta up the stairs. “Why are-.”
“Hush,” Nesta snapped, quietly, and took Feyre’s hand to make her move quicker, until they disappeared. They didn’t make it to the nursery, though. Behind the wall, they stood, perfectly quiet, and listened.
__
After everyone left the living room, all at once, Elain’s narrowed gaze slowly turned to Azriel, who was already watching her, adoringly.
“Is there a reason our entire family just hauled themselves out of here?” Elain whispered, laughing quietly.
Azriel’s scarred fingers brushed her curled hair back behind her ears, and he licked his lips, slowly. ”I wanted a moment alone with you.”
Elain rolled her eyes, fondly. “We live together, Az, we’re always alone.”
“Maybe so,” he agreed, eyes bright, “but, this way, everyone will be here to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” she asked, smile faltering as confused furrowed her brows.
Azriel just nodded, and gently moved her off of his lap before he stood up. Elain’s eyes widened as he got down on one knee in front of her, and took her trembling hands into his.
“Az,” she breathed, tears already forming in her eyes.
He smiled, not a glimmer of nervousness in his hazel eyes, but gods, they were so full of love. “Elain, I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you, and I’ll love you until I close my eyes and take my last breath. Everything that our family has gone through has shown me how much you mean to me, how much I don’t want to lose you. So…” He chuckled and pulled a dark blue ring box from the pocket of his jeans. “I guess it’s time for me to make you an honest woman. Elain Archeron, will you marry me?”
Quiet laughter shook her entire body as she sat up straighter, tears flowing down her cheeks, and said, “Of course.”
He opened the box and she was greeted with a large, pear-shaped diamond seated upon a thin, silver band. With shaky hands, Azriel took it out, and slid it onto her finger. Thanks to Nesta’s nosiness, the ring fit her finger perfectly.
Once it was secured, Elain practically tackled Azriel to the ground, and when his back was against the rug, her slender body pressed against his, she kissed him, softly, and he knew her tears were only tears of joy, but he reached up to brush them away, nonetheless.
“I love you,” he breathed.
“I love you, too,” she promised. “Oh, Az, I’m so happy. It’s about time you asked.”
Azriel stilled, and blinked, but it only made Elain’s laughter flutter around him, and it was the most beautiful, joyous sound he’d ever heard.
“Can we come out now?” Feyre called, from where she’d disappeared with Nesta beyond the top of the stairs.
Elain laughed. “You knew?”
Feyre was down the stairs nearly before Elain had time to blink and she embraced her sister. “No, you know I would have told you. I wouldn’t have been able to keep it from you.”
Elain leaned back, looking from Feyre to Az. “Then who-?”
Nesta was just stepping back through the living room doorway when Elain breathed, “Nes, you did all this? For me?”
“For both of you,” she corrected, and just as she was about to say something sweet, Cassian was storming in from the kitchen, staring at Azriel with narrowed eyes.
“You didn’t tell me?”
Azriel just shook his head from where he still sat on the carpet, leaning back on his hands. “Cass, I love you, but you can’t keep a secret.”
“I can too,” he said, then looked to Nesta for confirmation.
“Yeah, no,” she began, hesitantly, making Rhysand laugh from behind him. “You can’t keep a secret.”
Then, Cassian’s eyes widened. “Fuck, you kept it a secret from me, too. That’s double betrayal. How rude.”
Nesta whispered something into his ear that had his disgruntled look turning into a wide, sly grin. “Fair enough. I’m holding you up to that promise, though.”
Nesta snorted. “Oh, I know.” When she looked back to Elain, she was looking at all of them, taking all of them in, taking in this moment, this milestone, surrounded by her family.
__
Nesta held the baby monitor close to her body as she sat by Cassian on the couch, bundled up beneath a blanket as a fire roared from inside the fireplace, a movie on the television. Rhysand and Feyre were bundled up on the floor, the latter having far too many glasses of wine and nearly about to fall asleep on her husband’s chest.
Elain and Azriel were in heaven, staring deeply into each other’s eyes as they cuddled together in the lazyboy.
When Nesta looked up at Cassian, he was already watching her, fondly. He gently took the baby monitor from her hand and turned it all the way up before putting it on the table beside him and pulling Nesta into his lap. He rubbed her back, softly, as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“You look happy,” Cassian whispered.
Nesta wanted to laugh. It was such a simple, unprofound statement, and yet it was so true that it made her heart ache.
Yes, she was happy.
A little lost, a little paranoid, but those were just thoughts in the back of her mind that she prayed would fade with time.
She couldn’t deny her happiness, though, the wholeness that she had found in this little town that she wanted so desperately to get away from all those years ago. She had lived her dream, had toured the world and cooked for the rich and famous. She had owned her own restaurants, had been wildly successful for such a young woman.
But she had never been happy.
Here, though? With her sisters, with Cassian, with Sloan...she was so fucking happy.
A soft little whine came through the baby monitor, and Nesta’s body instantly tensed.
“It’s okay,” Cassian breathed. “I’ll get her.”
After kissing Nesta on the forehead, he was heading up the stairs, and although Nesta tried not to, she followed him soon after. As she rounded the top of the stairs and made her way down the hall, she could hear Cassian’s soft, soothing voice comforting their newborn. And when she stopped at the nursery and leaned against the threshold, she found herself tearing up.
Cassian was such a natural.
He held her close to his chest, bouncing her, patting her back gently until her cries subsided and her eyelids fell shut, once again.
“Just needed her daddy?” Nesta whispered, wiping at her face.
Cassian looked over his shoulder at his fiancée and chuckled. “Maybe so. Maybe she just needs a bedtime story.”
“A bedtime story?” Nesta repeated. “And what will be her bedtime story tonight?”
“Hmm,” Cassian began, walking in small, slow circles around the rug with his baby girl. “She really likes the one about the handsome ranch hand and the stuck up city girl who thinks she’s hot shit.”
Nesta had to cover her mouth from laughing so it wouldn’t wake Sloan. “Wow, sounds a little intense for a newborn.”
“She gets the abridged version,” he said with a smile.
Nesta couldn’t help herself as she stepped further into the room, smoothing the dark hair back off Sloan’s forehead. She loved the moments like this, when she was able to stop and appreciate her daughter’s beauty, Cassian’s love, the outpouring of support from her sisters.
He reached out with his free hand and brushed away the tears that had fallen down Nesta’s cheeks. He didn’t say anything, just smiled softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. After swaddling Sloan back into her blanket, Cassian turned, wrapping his arms around Nesta and kissed her gently.
Her eyes were closed, but she sniffled, resting her forehead against his chest. “Thank you,” she breathed.
His arms tightened and he chuckled. He asked quietly, “For what?”
“For giving me the life I never let myself dream of.”
Cassian took her face into his hands and leaned back, only to press his lips against hers, softly. “Get used to this life, cause this is what the rest of your life is going to look like, Nesta Archeron.”
“Good,” she breathed, unable to help the smile that graced her lips. “Although, you’ll have to get used to calling me Nesta Nazari, soon.”
Cassian arched a brow. “Does this mean the wedding planning is starting?”
“Yes,” she said, leaning up on her toes to kiss him, gently.
“Good,” he said, repeating her statement.
They stayed like that for a long moment, as the night went on, in each other’s arms, saying nothing but breathing in every second. Sloan was sound asleep in her crib beside them, their family was downstairs, and Nesta and Cassian had the rest of their lives ahead of them.
Nesta meant what she said.
Cassian had given her a life she’d never dreamt of.
This wonderful, beautiful life that she was pretty sure she didn’t deserve, but never wanted to be without.
For the first time in her life, Nesta Archeron was perfectly happy with the life she was living, and she never wanted anything more.
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The Ranch {20}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
Nesta awoke with a gasp, her hands instinctively reaching for her baby, for her precious, baby girl.
But her arms were tied behind her back.
She looked around, trying to figure out where she was, what time it was, if she recognized anything. And she thought she must be dreaming.
Because she was in the little house on the neighboring property. In Armand and Collette’s home. She could see the sun getting ready to rise over the hills.
She was alone, no one else in sight, but it was obvious who was behind it all. She instantly began crying, silently, knowing who was behind it all, knowing that Cassian was raising hell trying to find her in her absence.
“Hello?” She called.
But there was nothing. No response, no footsteps, nothing.
Nesta tried breaking out of her bonds, but there was no use, they were too tight. The infant within her womb moved, and Nesta let loose a breath of relief. If nothing else, baby girl was okay.
She regretted ever letting Tomas into her life, regretted letting him know anything about her, including that damned property.
She tried to stop the sob that tore from her, but she feared, not for herself, but for her daughter. She didn’t know who to pray to, didn’t know if she should scream or cry or start saying her last rights.
“Tomas, please,” she finally called. “Just let me go and I promise I won’t do anything. I won’t say anything, just…” She sobbed again. “Please don’t hurt my baby.”
The silence was almost worse than if he would have responded.
After a few minutes of no response, a wholly new fear washed over Nesta. Tomas wasn’t here. Yes, he would be coming back, he was the only one, aside from Cassian who knew this house belonged to her. But he wasn’t here and she didn’t know when he’d be back.
Nesta knew it wouldn’t do anything, knew that no one was around to hear her, but she was unable to stop herself as she threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs.
——
Azriel was awake at four-thirty like he was every day. He’d made some calls the night before, arranged for some contacts he knew in the ranching community to come take care of Cassian and Nesta’s place, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t getting up early for a reason.
He slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Elain, and got ready, before making his way downstairs. He found Cassian standing at the kitchen island, a mug of black coffee on his left side, a glass of whiskey on his right.
“I can’t decide which to drink,” he breathed, and Az had never heard his brother’s voice so empty.
“Hey,” he said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to find her.”
Cass swallowed hard, but nodded. Azriel pulled him into a hug and Cassian didn’t try to hide the tears that ran down his cheeks as he embraced his brother. Their family had always been there for each other, lending strength when the other needed it.
They just never imagined they’d need it so desperately.
After a minute, Cass decided on drinking both, tossing the whiskey back and leaning back against the island as he drank his coffee. “Rhys is on his way. He’s been awake since three.”
Azriel looked at the digital clock over the stove and raised an eyebrow. “What’s he been doing to just now be on the way?”
He knew the likely answer involved Feyre, but he couldn’t imagine that they’d be focusing on that at a time like this.
“Same as me,” Cassian said, reaching into the back of his waistband, pulling out the warm metal and removing the magazine before he set the gun on the counter. “Making sure that if we see him, he won’t get away this time.”
Azriel hesitated. Yes, he wanted to make sure Nesta and the baby were safe. It was all he could think about. But what Cassian wanted so desperately to do would only make the situation worse.
“Cass-.”
“No,” he said, voice low. “I know what you’re going to say, so save your breath. When I see him, he’s a fucking dead man.”
“He’ll be locked up, Cass. She’ll be safe, the baby will be safe, you don’t have to-.”
“He fucking took her!” Cassian yelled, his voice echoing throughout the house. Azriel didn’t say a word, wasn’t surprised by his brother’s anger, his frustration. “He deserves a lot worse than a few years behind bars, Az!”
“Yeah, he does,” Azriel said, quietly. “But, so do you, and if you shoot him and he dies, there’s a real good chance you’ll miss quite a bit of your daughter's life.”
Cassian’s jaw locked and he looked away as another tear fell from his hazel eyes.
“Stay armed,” Azriel said. “Use it in self-defense, if it comes to it, but use it wisely. Not out of anger.”
The stairs creaked from the other room and the two men fell quiet as Elain stepped around the corner. Her eyes were red, her cheeks still wet. There wasn’t a jealous bone in Azriel’s body as she walked to Cassian and wrapped her arms around him.
His large frame crumbled in a way Azriel hadn’t seen in years, hadn’t seen since they were children and his mother had died. Regardless of Elain’s arms holding him, his knees hit the floor and he was unable to stop the full-body sob that tore from him. He could hear Elain’s quiet sobs, too, could see her back shaking.
Without a word, Azriel stepped out into the crisp, early day and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his truck. He didn’t smoke anymore, had quit years ago, but his nerves were shot and he needed something to take the edge off. He sat down on the porch and lit it, taking a drag in and blowing it out. He wasn’t sure where the smoke stopped and his breath in the cold air began.
A black truck rumbled down the street and parked behind his own and when Rhys jumped out, Azriel could still see that same anger from last night simmering in his violet eyes. When they saw Az though, they guttered slightly. “I thought you quit.”
He put the cigarette back to his lips and pulled. “Figured no one would care if I made an exception today.”
Rhys nodded and made to step around his brother, but Azriel caught his hoodie sleeve. “Just...give them a minute.”
Rhys looked to the door, knowing what he meant. He inclined his head to the truck, where Az could see a head of golden brown hair in the front seat. “Feyre is… She’s a fucking mess.”
“Elain did well, for most of the night,” Azriel admitted, ashing his cigarette. “But just a few minutes ago, she came downstairs and Cass was awake…”
Rhys nodded, sitting next to Az. They were pissed. They were scared. But the fear that the two of them felt was nothing to that of Cassian, Elain, and Feyre.
“I don’t need to have the gun talk with you, too, right?” Az asked, glancing down to where Rhys’ pistol was holstered at his side, and flicked the cigarette butt into the flower bed. Elain would be pissed at him for that, but he’d deal with that later. “No,” Rhys said, shaking his head. “I’m not an idiot. I told him I was bringing my gun, just in case. He gave me the same shit about giving Mandray what he deserves that I’m sure he gave you.”
Azriel nodded, eyes weary. “He’s never been able to control his anger on the little things, much less…”
Rhysand just nodded in understanding as he checked the time. “I say if the cops don’t call us back with any news in the next thirty minutes, we just go searching alone.”
“I say we go now,” Azriel agreed, then gestured over his shoulder to the house. “As soon as they’re ready.”
Cassian must’ve sensed it, because he appeared in the doorway a minute later, Elain at his heels, zipping up her hoodie.
Azriel stood, and they all stood in silence for a few seconds before Cassian, without saying a word, padded down the front steps and into the cool, eerie, early morning.
————
Nesta wasn’t sure at what point she’d passed out. She wasn’t sure if she’d passed out while she’d be screaming or if it was while she was sobbing or praying or she’d just fallen asleep while she waited and waited for the end.
Whether that was the end of this ordeal or the end of her life or the end of her baby’s, she didn’t know.
She wasn’t sure what had woken her either. Her baby was moving, but no more or less than normal, and she didn’t hear anyone else in the cottage with her.
But as she slowly blinked, trying to pull herself back into consciousness, she felt an ache from within her abdomen.
Nesta sat up, pulling on her restraints as she softly gasped and tried to resituate to stop the throbbing from inside her. But then she heard the soft dripping and felt the wetness beneath her.
Trying to keep her breathing even, Nesta glanced down at herself, down at the floor. She couldn’t even try to convince herself that she’d wet herself, she knew exactly what was happening, especially as a sharp pain from inside took her breath away.
“No, no, no,” she cried, looking around, for something, anything, whatever she could use or do to get herself free, get herself out of here.
Because her water had broken.
Nesta was in labor.
And her baby was coming.
She began to panic, so much more than she had before. She would not give birth in such a hellhole. That damned place would not be the first place her baby sees.
Once again, she tried to break those bonds, but nothing worked. She screamed and screamed and screamed until her voice became raw, broken.
She sobbed.
She called for Cassian.
She prayed to whoever was listening that it would all be over soon.
But it didn’t matter.
She was completely, utterly alone.
A distant pain in her abdomen came again, and although it wasn’t bad, she knew it to be a contraction.
“Not yet, baby girl,” she breathed, sobbed, begged. “Not yet, please.”
A door slammed from somewhere in the house and everything inside her went stil, even the precious life trying so hard to enter the world. She breathed, “No, gods, please no…”
Footsteps sounded on the stairs from the garage and the door behind her opened.
“Look at that,” he crooned, the voice raising the hair on the back of her neck. “Either you pissed yourself or you’re about to have our little girl.”
Our little girl.
“You’re insane,” she gasped, another contraction made her look at the clock above the mantle.
He stepped around until he was looking down at her.
The brutal gash along his face was red and angry, the stitches still fresh. She knew the wound she’d given him on the arm was likely in the same shape. He clearly hadn’t gone to a hospital, the stitches weren’t nearly as neat as they should have been. No, Nesta knew who owed Tomas a favor from years ago, a favor that she’d hoped Tomas had forgotten about.
“I hope you didn’t pull Isaac Hale into this,” she breathed. “He’s a good man, a good vet.”
Tomas head tilted to the side, his eyes showing just how unhinged he’d become. “Would he be as good of a vet if I hadn’t driven his little girlfriend to the clinic in Adriata to have that abortion all those years ago? How’s Claire doing anyways?”
Nesta spit in his face.
She shouldn’t have been surprised when his hand cracked against her cheek. She cried out and he gripped her face in his hand. “How long have you been in labor?”
“Fuck off, Tomas,” she growled, trying to pull from him. He just squeezed tighter.
“When did your water break, Nes?”
The nickname, so familiar, sounded wrong coming from him. She looked back to the clock. “I don’t know. When I woke up, I was having contractions.”
He tilted her head back so she was looking at him. “And that was what? An hour ago, two hours ago?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Forty-eight minutes ago.”
He smiled and it was the most terrifying thing Nesta had ever seen. “Good girl.” He turned and headed behind her into the kitchen. She could hear him opening and closing drawers as he said, “To answer my own question from earlier, by the way, Claire’s doing great. Did you know she’s a nurse?” Nesta felt her blood go cold. “She’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. Turns out she owed me that favor, too.”
She was dreaming.
She had to be.
This was absurd, insane, and no possible way it could be her current reality. No, she had to be dreaming, dreaming of her paranoia, dreaming of ghosts from the past.
And yet, as that pain in her abdomen came again, increased, she knew that this was very much real.
“When Cassian finds me, he’ll kill you,” she breathed, her tears still streaming down her face, silently. “He’ll put a bullet in your head and he won’t hesitate.”
“You always did like threats,” Tomas crooned from where he stood behind the kitchen wall. She couldn't imagine what he was digging around for, didn’t want to know. “Too bad I never took you seriously. Didn’t then, don’t now. I’m not afraid of Cassian Nazari.”
You should be, she wanted to hiss, but remained silent. Instead, she caught herself wondering where her fiancé was, and when the fuck he would find her.
Because he had to.
She couldn’t go out like this.
Their baby couldn’t come into the world like this.
In Tomas’ absence, she closed her eyes and took deep, calming breaths. Stressing and panic would only speed up the process of labor, and she wanted to string it out as long as possible. As difficult as it was, for her daughter’s sake, she did her breathing exercises to the best of her ability. With her eyes closed, she imagined Cassian’s face smiling brightly at her from across the pasture, on horseback.
She imagined him painting the nursery, imagined him picking up the little baby shoes Nesta had bought and tearing up at the sight of them. She imagined the way he looked when he made love to her, imagined his voice whispering those three little words that set her soul on fire every time they came from his beautiful lips.
Tomas began to hum from the other room, the sound the most ominous thing Nesta had ever heard. It only became worse as he came back into the living room, softly singing the words.
Hush little baby, don’t say a word. Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.
Nesta couldn’t stop the sob, couldn’t stop the tears that fell as she opened her eyes and looked at what he was holding in his hands. Towels. Handfuls and handfuls of towels.
And if that mockingbird don’t sing, daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
He gripped Nesta’s arm and pulled her engagement ring from her finger. She sobbed, unable to stop him as he walked away, screaming at him to stop. His steps softened as he headed into the kitchen and the garbage disposal turned on.
And then she heard the sound of metal on metal, grinding and snapping.
“What the fuck do you want Tomas?” she cried, the pain in her stomach increasing with every wave. “Please, just let me go. Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you. You know I have money, I can-.”
He appeared in front of her again, for just long enough that she anticipated the stinging against her cheek this time, she just wasn’t expecting to taste blood. “Are you trying to put a price on our relationship, Nesta? After everything I’ve done for us?”
A door opened down the hall, from the direction of the front door and a small voice said, “Hello? It- It’s Claire.”
Tomas’ smile turned Nesta’s blood to ice. “It’s time to meet our daughter.”
____
Cassian had asked everyone in town.
No one had seen Nesta.
Or Tomas.
It made no sense. They had to be somewhere, there were only so many places to go in this little town. Even then, no one had even seen Tomas’ truck, which means they most likely hadn’t left town.
At least, that’s what Cassian kept telling himself.
It was nearing noon and they had been at it, their little group split up all over town, for over six hours. He’d looked everywhere. Even the places he thought were impossible for him to be hiding, he’d looked. The others had, too, desperately. Azriel, Rhys, Feyre, and Elain. And yet, absolutely nothing.
The feeling of hopelessness that had settled into the pit of his stomach was overwhelming.
Once he made it back to the ranch, Cassian figured maybe he was thinking about it a little too hard. The main house was empty of guests now, as he and Nesta had made it their home for their baby, which means they had hardly spent any time in the little houses out back. But when he inspected the cabin and the little modern house at the end of the dirt path, there was no sign of them.
Beau had been with him all day, helping him search for Nesta. With his keen sense of smell, Cassian knew he’d be helpful. With no luck, though, Beau spent most of the day whining at Nesta’s absence, fully aware that something had gone horribly wrong.
His phone rang and it was out of his pocket and held up to his ear before the end of the first ring. “Hello?”
“Isaac Hale gave a horse named Mandrake sixty-two stitches this morning.” He couldn’t recognize the voice on the other side of the phone.
He looked at the number, seeing it had come in from a blocked number. He frantically asked, “Who is this?”
“Mandrake,” the voice said slowly. “Sixty-two stitches.”
“I don’t understand-.”
The line went dead.
His phone rang again, but it was Rhys this time. “Hello?”
“Any luck?” He asked, voice empty, but hopeful.
He sighed, “No, but I just got the weirdest phone call.”
“About Isaac Hale giving some random horse stitches?” Rhys asked.
Cassian froze mid-stride. “Mandrake?”
“No,” Rhys breathed. “Dos More.”
Cassian’s phone began to vibrate in his hand. He looked at his phone and saw that Azriel was calling him. He told Rhys, “I think we need to pay Isaac Hale a visit. Now.”
________
Claire was sniffling as she unpacked the bag of medical supplies she’d raided from Isaac’s veterinary office that morning.
Nesta breathed, tugging on the restraints holding her to the bed, terrified for Tomas to hear her, “Claire, please. Get me out of here.”
Her eyes wouldn’t meet Nesta’s as she whispered, “I can’t, he’s- Nesta, he’ll kill me. He’ll kill Isaac.”
Nesta opened her mouth to reply, but she gasped as the most excruciating of all her contractions so far took her breath away.
She felt hands on the waistband of her leggings, still covered in Tomas’ blood and soaked from her water breaking, and tried to jerk away. “No!”
Claire said, “I need to check and see what you’re dilated to. You’ve been in labor for hours and if I don’t make sure she’s sitting right, she could suffocate.”
Nesta’s face paled and she saw a moment of hesitance on Claire’s face as she glanced over her shoulder, hearing Tomas’ footsteps head towards the garage, then the door opened and closed.
He was leaving again. She didn’t know why, but he was leaving.
“Please, we need to run,” Nesta begged, knowing this could be their only shot.
Claire began tugging her leggings down. “Nesta, if we leave right now, you will bleed out in the woods. There is nothing around this place for miles.”
“My ranch,” she breathed. “My ranch shares a property line, we can make it.”
Claire pulled a pair of gloves on and came around to her side, pressing a hand against her belly and checking her cervix. “No, we can’t,” she said, a worried look on her face. “You’re about at a seven. You’re going to have to start pushing soon.”
Nesta sobbed, and she didn’t care what she looked like, what she sounded like. All that shit was long gone.
All she cared about now was her baby girl.
And making sure Tomas Mandray would pay.
“Claire,” she whispered.
Claire froze, although she didn’t meet Nesta’s gaze.
“Just…” Nesta began, her sobs shaking her body. “Just make sure she’s okay, alright? Make sure Cassian takes care of her, okay?”
Tears were flowing freely down Claire’s cheeks. “Nesta-.”
“If I die, if I don’t make it out of this,” Nesta cried, quietly, “make sure Cassian gets her, please.”
She knew it was a request that Claire probably couldn’t fulfill, but she nodded, nonetheless. “I will. I’m so sorry, Nesta.”
“I know,” Nesta breathed, and Claire took Nesta’s hand, and they sat still for a moment in the silence. She couldn’t stop the scream that tore from her as another contraction, much stronger and much sooner than she was expecting hit her. Claire’s eyes jumped from Nesta’s to their clasped hands, where Nesta was bound to the bed. “Please,” she whispered, seeing the thought in Claire’s eyes. “Please, I won’t run. I’ll stay here. Just please…” Nesta didn’t bother to try and stop the sob. “Don’t make me have my baby tied to the bed. At least give me that.”
Claire hesitated for only a second more before she quickly loosened the knots around Nesta’s wrists.
Nesta sat up a bit, pulling her knees up, and putting her weight into her hands. She felt like she needed to hold her breath, but knew she shouldn’t. She was trying to remember anything and everything she’d learned in that stupid birthing class they’d gone to.
“Do you feel like you need to push?” Claire asked. Nesta had her eyes closed, but she was focusing hard on her breathing. She nodded. Claire said, “Nesta.” She opened her eyes and looked at her, not trying to mask the fear on her face. “That means it's time to push.”
--------
Cassian pushed through the glass doors of Isaac’s Veterinary clinic, locking eyes with the man himself at the front desk. His skin went deathly white the moment he saw Cassian, which confirmed that they needed to have a conversation.
“Where is she,” he hissed, voice low, the moment he reached the desk.
Isaac looked around, even though there was no one else in the small reception area with him. “Cassian-.”
“Where. Is. She.” He repeated, gripping Isaac’s collar.
Isaac just shook his head. “He’s got Claire, and he’s dangerous, Cass-.”
“If you don’t tell me what you know, I’ll smash your head against this desk and I won’t feel bad about it,” Cassian snapped.
Isaac's eyes grew weary. “Please-.”
“She’s carrying my child,” Cassian said, his voice breaking.
Cassian could see the internal conflict going on through Isaac’s eyes. For a moment, Cassian thought he’d have to torture the poor veterinarian, the young man that they’d known their entire lives, but then, in the quietest of voices, Isaac said, “She’s on your land. In a little beaten down cabin.”
She’s on your land.
The cottage.
She had been right there, and he’d never even thought about it. Of course Tomas knew about the cabin, but he probably assumed Cassian didn’t.
Fuck.
He didn’t even realize he’d said the word aloud, much less yelled it until one of the patients across the room looked in their direction.
Cassian was halfway out the door when Isaac called his name. He turned back, seeing a broken man. He repeated, “He’s got Claire, too. Get her, please.”
Cassian nodded once and was out the door.
Rhys and Azriel were waiting in Rhys’ truck, Elain and Feyre with them. Feyre scooted into the middle seat as Cassian climbed back into the passenger side. “Home, go the fuck home.”
“What?” Rhys asked, violet eyes wide. “What do you-?”
Cassian was already dialing the number of the detective that had been assigned to their case. “Those French people she knew, the property next door.”
All four of them stared at her. She hadn’t told them. She hadn’t told her fucking famliy about the people she’d met, the bond she grew with them.
Which means they had no fucking clue where the cottage was.
“Just drive to the fucking ranch!” he yelled, putting the phone to his ear, his hands shaking, his mind whirling.
Rhysand didn’t hesitate as he put the truck in reverse and pulled out of the parking space.
The ride was quiet, and even though it was only a five minute drive, Cassian felt like it took a lifetime. All that time, she was so close. He felt like a horrible person, not even thinking about her being right next door.
“Drive faster,” Cassian hissed.
“I’m driving as fast as I can without running us off the road,” Rhysand snapped.
Tensions were high.
They were so close, now.
They just had to get to her.
“Go past our drive,” Cass said, pointing ahead. “Just go straight to theirs.”
Rhys did as he was told, but Feyre said, “Cass, I can’t think of any other driveway on this road. It just dead ends at the river.”
He knew that was the case, but he had no idea how to figure out where it was.
Actually, he could think of one.
“Get to the house,” he breathed. “We have to catch the horses.”
-------------
The pain was so all consuming, so absolutely mind numbing, that Nesta wasn’t sure how the world managed to repopulate as long as it did before modern medicine and epidurals. She screamed, holding onto the footboard while Claire crouched, her hands held out beneath her.
“You’re almost there, Nesta,” she said, keeping her voice calm, even. It was clear that she was in her element, even in the situation they were currently in. “I need you to take a deep breath, let it out and push one more time.”
She nodded and did as she was told, for what felt like the thousandth time, and ended up sobbing again.
She cried, “I can’t. I can’t anymore.”
It had been nearly an hour since she started pushing, and though Claire was keeping herself collected, she urged Nesta, “You have to push, she’s almost here, Nes. I can see her head, She can’t stay where she is.”
Nesta shook her head, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead, her tear stained cheeks. She needed Cassian, she needed her rock. But he wasn’t here, couldn’t be here.
Claire gave her a couple more seconds to breathe and said, “Come on, squat back down, and give me one more big, push, the biggest one you’ve got in you, okay?”
Nesta closed her eyes, thinking of Cassian as she breathed in and out, trying to calm herself. She took a deep breath in and braced down as hard as she could. She could feel her nails splitting against the wooden bed frame.
The world went silent for a moment. Her eyes were shut, but all she could see was bright, white light, all she could feel was warmth and comfort and peace. Nesta wondered if she might be dead, if she’d somehow gotten lucky in all of this and spared from Tomas' cruelty.
But then the most amazing sound she’d ever heard had her opening her eyes, bringing her back to the real world.
She heard her baby crying.
Nesta was crying, too. And Claire, even as she held the screaming infant in a bloody towel, had tears streaming down her face.
She cut the umbilical cord, helping Nesta back on the bed.
She handed Nesta her daughter, as well as a clean, wet towel, and said, “Lie back, I have to stitch you up.”
She did as she was told, trying not to think about what was happening as she carefully cleaned her baby’s face up. “Hello, beautiful girl,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry your daddy’s not here to meet you. He’ll be here soon.”
Her voice was becoming weaker and weaker and Claire said, “Nesta, I need you to keep talking to me. You have to stay awake, okay? Everything went awesome, better than some of the births I do every day in the hospital, but I need you to stay awake.”
She nodded, trying to do as she was told.
When Claire finished, she helped Nesta into what could only be described as a glorified adult diaper, pulling the oversized hoodie she wore over it, and helped her lay back on the bed. “I’m going to get her cleaned up,” she said, holding her arms out for the baby.
Nesta’s arms tightened around her daughter, suddenly afraid to trust Claire.
“I promise, I’m just going to clean her off and I’ll bring her right back.” Nesta could see the sincerity in Claire’s eyes, at least she hoped she did as she handed her daughter to her.
Claire hurried out of the room and Nesta heard the sink in the bathroom turn on. The water ran for a solid three or four minutes before it turned off and she returned, the baby wrapped in a soft, white sheet.
She handed the baby back to Nesta, sitting on the bed at her feet. “What’s her name?”
“Sloan,” she breathed, gazing down at the perfect little thing she had somehow managed to bring into the world. “Ilsa Sloan Nazari.”
The tuft of dark hair on her head, it was the same color as Cassian’s, just as her skin was the same rich tan. But when Nesta brushed a finger over her soft cheek, and her eyes fluttered open, those were her own stormy eyes surrounded in dark, long lashes.
They could hear heavy, quick footsteps coming up from the garage and Nesta’s arms tightened around her daughter. Claire stood, turning and standing between Nesta and the hall. When the door finally burst open, Tomas was on his phone, yelling at someone, but Nesta couldn’t figure out who. He’d left the door to the garage open as he hurried up to the second floor of the cottage, going to get the gods knew what.
“Claire,” Nesta said, tears already running down her cheeks. She turned and Nesta was already pressing Sloan into her arms. “You promised. Get out, get to the woods, and run away from the setting sun. You’ll get to my property. Just get her to her father, please.”
Claire was already shaking her head before Nesta finished speaking, but she clutched the baby to her chest. “Nesta, no, I can’t-.
“You can, and you promised,” Nesta said, her voice breaking as she began to sob again. “Get her out of here. I don’t care what he does to me, just go before he comes back.”
For a brief moment, Nesta was worried she wouldn’t honor her earlier word, but then she was off, sprinting out the open door to the garage. Nesta got to her feet, hissing in pain and limped to the window. Claire came from around the side of the house she couldn’t see, but she watched as she ran as fast as she could into the wood, away from the sun, just like Nesta said, and disappeared into the trees. She couldn’t stop the whimper of relief that left her, but she clamped a hand over her mouth as she remembered he was back in the house.
With a deep breath, she crept along the wall and left the room, making her way into the hallway and then out into the open living room. She could still hear Tomas screaming into his phone and she took that as a sign that he was preoccupied. Though it made her vision blur, Nesta hurried into the kitchen and grabbed the tool that had served her well many times before and had served her well enough the night before.
Nesta had come to terms earlier in the day with the fact that her life was most likely going to end tonight, but that didn’t mean she would go out without a fight.
------
Cassian and Rhys were riding as fast as they could through the trees. He knew nothing about the cottage, not where it sat on the property or how big it was, just that Nesta had said she’d always ridden west. So they followed the sun. They rode for what felt like hours but could only have been minutes before Rhys called, “Who the fuck is that?”
But Cassian knew, gods, he immediately knew. He was off his horse before he’d even stopped, calling her name. “Claire!”
She looked towards his voice and the sob that left her could be heard the quarter mile that separated them. He sprinted towards her, slowing down when he noticed the small bundle in her arms. He froze. “No.”
Rhys appeared by his side, and he breathed, “Tell me she’s not holding a fucking baby.”
Cass was moving again and he caught Claire as she met them, crying.
The little bundle in her arms began to cry, too, as Cassian took his daughter into his arms.
“She begged me to take her,” Claire sobbed. “Tomas threatened me, so I delivered the baby, and Nesta asked me to bring her to you.”
Her words were hardly understandable, but Cassian was frozen in place, staring down at the baby in his arms.
She was so incredibly beautiful.
His mind couldn’t fully comprehend that Nesta had just had a baby while being held captive. He couldn’t.
He looked up to Claire, tears streaming down his face as he asked, in a numb, deadly calm. “Are we close?”
Claire looked over her shoulder, then back to Cassian and Rhysand, and nodded. “There’s a small clearing in about half a mile.”
Claire went on to tell him how dangerous Tomas was, but he wasn’t listening. He kissed Sloan on her soft, tanned forehead, and handed her to Rhysand. “Bring her back to the house. Wait there with Feyre, Az and Elain. Take Claire, too.”
Rhysand carefully took Sloan and cradled her against his chest.
Then Cassian mounted his horse and continued west.
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The Ranch {21}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
When Tomas descended the stairs, the first thing he noticed is that the house was quiet. No gasping breaths, no groans of pain, no screams of agony from a natural birth. There was also no baby crying.
The sun was almost gone, the last rays of its light just behind the tree line. The house was already becoming dark.
“Nesta?” He called, his voice crooning. “Are you okay, love?”
There was no reply. The chair she’d been in was still in the middle of the living room, rope still looped around the back. But the bedroom, the room where she was supposed to be giving birth…
Tomas flipped the light switch on. It was a bloody mess. Towels on the floor, the bed, the chair in the corner. There was blood and moisture and some mucus-y looking substance on the rug he didn’t want to look at for too long.
But it was empty.
He turned heading for the kitchen, knowing she couldn’t have gotten far, not with how much blood was-.
He screamed as white hot pain lanced down his arm, the same arm that was covered in stitches from the night before.
Before Nesta could bring the knife back down, Tomas had grabbed her wrist.
“That wasn’t very nice,” he seethed. He got right in her face. “Where is she?”
“Safe,” was all Nesta said.
Her legs were wobbling, surely about to collapse. Beads of sweat coated her pale skin. Unsure of what she was actually trying to accomplish - as if she could accomplish anything in her current state - Tomas let out a breathy laugh.
“Let’s get you back to bed, my love,” he whispered, bringing his fingers up to graze her cheek. “You need rest, or you could die.”
“If that’s the alternative to a life with you, so be it,” she hissed, but the words, the tone, even cost her a great amount of energy.
Tomas clicked his tongue. “You always were so dramatic.”
She tried to jerk her wrist away, but it was pointless. Instead, he tightened his hand around her wrist until a soft sob shook Nesta’s body.
“Let’s get you back in bed,” he repeated, his voice low.
“I’m not dropping the knife,” she said, voice shaking. She could hardly keep herself upright. “You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”
With a roll of his eyes, Tomas was reaching up to take the weapon away. Although weak and in a mass amount of pain, it seemed she believed what she said, because her grip around the hilt of the knife was tight.
One by one, he pried her fingers from the wooden hilt, and when there was only one more clinging to it, she struck.
He hadn’t noticed the small, thin paring knife in her right hand when he’d seen her. No, he was too focused on the large chef’s knife in her left hand.
She jammed the small blade up into his abdomen and he released her with a cry. The chef’s knife fell to the floor and she moved away from him as quickly as she could, a whimper of pain the only sign of her discomfort.
“You fucking bitch.” The voice was much closer than she expected and suddenly she was jerked backwards by her loose hair. She cried out as her scalp was on fire and then his arms were around her, caging her in. “Where is she, Nes, huh? Where’d you hide her?”
“I didn’t hide her. She’s far, far away,” she bite out. “She’s gone, she’s safe and you’ll never get your hands on her.”
She felt his arms tighten. “Is that a challenge, love?” he breathed in her ear. “We’re going to be a family and you know it.”
“I hate you,” she hissed. “I fucking hate you.”
“Let’s get you back to bed,” he said, once again, his words clipped.
His arms began to tighten even more, a vice to cage her where she stood, but then from outside, a horse whinnied.
For a split second, Tomas’ grip slacked, but the instant Nesta’s mouth shot open to cry out, his hand was over her mouth, muffling her screams.
She tried to scream, praying it was Cassian that was just outside, but failed. Instead, with one arm tightened over her abdomen and the other covering her mouth, Tomas dragged Nesta to the corner and peered through the window, hiding beside it. The back of Nesta’s head was against his chest.
She couldn’t see a thing.
Her attempts to scream continued as Tomas’ blood stained the back of her sweatshirt. He jerked her back again, fingers digging into her scalp, and she grew dizzier as he hissed into her ear, “Shut. The fuck. Up.”
But she had heard it, had heard the yell of a man that would tear apart the world to find what had been taken from him.
“NES!”
The sob that tore from her was weak, she knew she wouldn’t be on her feet much longer, but she had to make what time she had count.
He had her head jerked to the side, but she could still feel his breath on the side of her face. She couldn’t brace herself and she knew it would hurt her as much as it hurt him, but without warning, she threw her head back and slammed it into his.
The sound of Tomas’ skull bouncing off the wall was something she would remember for the rest of her days, but the new ache in her head made her sick to her stomach. It didn’t help when Tomas shoved her away from him, causing her to stumble. Her forehead smacked into the window and blood trickled down her forehead as she tried to crawl away.
The chef’s knife was still on the floor of the living room, the small knife she’d hidden long gone. Nesta could hear the doors shaking as Cassian tried to force his way into the cottage and she turned to glance at Tomas behind her. He was slowly getting to his feet and Nesta saw the black handle of a gun sticking out from the waistband of his jeans. Her heart stopped beating in her chest.
He wouldn’t use the gun on her, he wanted her alive. He had no such reservations about Cassian.
Nesta got to her feet, ran for the living room and grabbed the knife. Tomas looked over as she did so, blood dripping down his lips from his nose. She felt a smug satisfaction at the injury her blow had caused, but when he started advancing on her, she froze.
The sound of a door bursting open had Tomas turning towards the noise and Nesta knew she wouldn’t have another opportunity.
With what little strength she had left, she rushed towards him and he glanced down at her, right as she shoved the large knife into his side. His eyes went wide.
The small grunt that left Tomas’ mouth was the last sound he made before he collapsed.
He didn’t move again.
Thundering footsteps had Nesta on red alert, knowing she had nothing left to defend herself with, but then Cassian appeared around the corner. The whimper was pathetic, she hated herself for the sound, but she was unable to stop it as her knees buckled and she collapsed in the pooling blood, sobbing uncontrollably.
Cassian didn’t hesitate.
He hurried to her side, on his knees in the crimson pool, scooping her up into his arms. Her head instantly fell against his chest as her eyes drooped, his heart beating rapidly.
“I’m here,” he breathed, sobbed, holding her head against his chest. “Fuck, you’re burning up, sweetheart. Keep your eyes open, okay? Keep them open, baby, please.”
He cried into her hair, and she wanted so desperately to cling to him, to tell him how much she loved him, but she didn’t have the energy. All she could manage was, “Sloan?”
“Safe,” he promised, his voice breaking as he rose to his feet, her in his arms. “Beautiful.”
The faintest of smiles touched her lips as her eyes fluttered shut. Cassian carried her out of the cabin and down the porch steps, but she didn’t know what happened after that.
She drifted into a dark, deep sleep.
___
Nesta had no idea how much time had passed before she woke up with a dry, scratchy throat, hooked up to a series of beeping machines.
For a moment, she began to panic, but then her vision cleared and she knew she was far away from Tomas, as the memories came back to her.
She had killed him.
He deserved it.
She was safe.
But where was Sloan?
She attempted to sit up, to find her baby, to find Cass, but she grew lightheaded and fell back into the pillows with a groan.
She began to cry, quietly, but then she heard her name and knew he was there.
“Nes.”
She opened her eyes and found Cassian sitting on the edge of the cot, Sloan sleeping soundly in his broad arms. His cheeks were blotchy, his eyes red and puffy. A shaky hand reached up, his knuckles trailing gently down her cheek.
She didn’t say anything, nothing had to be said as she grabbed his hand where it brushed against her face and brought it to her lips.
The single tear that ran down Cassian’s cheek told her what he couldn’t.
She gazed down at their daughter, at the perfect combination of the two of them. She hadn’t been able to take the time to look at her when she was born, she was too focused on shoving her into Claire’s arms and begging her to run. But now that she could see her, that she could appreciate her, Nesta began to softly cry once again.
Cassian carefully laid her in her mother’s arms and Nesta wasn’t able to stop herself from leaning down and pressing the softest of kisses to her forehead. She had her father’s coloring, from the tan skin, to the thick, dark hair on her head. But Nesta knew when she woke up, she’d find her own stormy eyes gazing back at her. Sloan had inherited her full lips and she couldn’t tell whose nose she’d gotten because her eyes filled with tears, blurring her vision.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
Nesta looked up, blinking the tears away and found Cassian staring at Sloan, his cheeks wet. “Cass, you couldn’t-.”
“He took you, Nes.” His words were deathly soft. “He came into our home and he took you both. I have never been so scared in my entire life. I was going crazy.”
Nesta only shook her head, but when she opened her mouth, it was hard to speak. Cassian grabbed a cup of water from the side table and helped her drink, and when he set the cup back down, he said, “I promise I will never let anything happen to you, to either of you, ever again.”
She nodded, although it was an impossible promise to keep, she knew he would try his damndest.
“I’m so sorry,” he said again, and he pressed his forehead against hers. For a moment, the three of them remained there, Sloan sleeping, her parents above her, dwelling in the peace of silence.
“It’s okay now,” Cassian said, quietly. “It’s over, he’s gone, he can’t hurt you anymore.”
Nesta just stared at her daughter with parted lips as Cassian kissed her forehead.
“We’re going to go home and it’s all going to be okay,” Cassian continued, and she knew he was talking just as much to himself as he was to her. She could see the guilt in his eyes.
But she met his eyes and, voice hoarse, whispered fiercely, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he breathed. “More than I can begin to tell you.”
They sat in silence for a moment, savoring the moment of just being together, being a family. Whole and happy and safe.
Nesta looked down into her daughter’s face, the picture of innocence and perfection. She softly ran a finger along her cheek, terrified to wake her, but needing to touch her, to know she was really here. She knew nothing of the evils of the world, to her, the world was still small and safe. She whispered, “I killed him.”
Cassian swallowed hard. “You did. But you didn’t have a choice.”
Nesta shook her head. “I did though, I didn’t have to-.”
He took her face in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away the tears running down her cheeks. “Nesta, he kidnapped you, held you hostage, and forced you to give birth to your baby on your own. Thank the gods for Claire or…” His words dropped off and he closed his eyes. “Nesta, if you hadn’t killed him, I was going to.”
She nodded, understanding him, but it didn’t stop the tears. She gazed down at Sloan. Nesta breathed, “Is she okay? Is everything okay?”
“She’s perfect.” The reverence with which he said the words had Nesta looking up at him. His eyes were on their daughter. “Ten fingers, ten toes, the sweetest smile and the loudest cry I’ve ever heard.”
As if she heard her parents talking about her, Sloan let out a piercing wail and Cassian was on his feet, ready to take her, but there was no need.
Nesta was gently bouncing her, stepping so gracefully into the role of motherhood. She cooed down at her and Sloan’s cries quieted.
“How long was I out? Should I feed her? I don’t-.” She looked up at him, fear overtaking every other emotion. “I don’t know what to do.”
“It’s okay,” Cassian began, gently. He pressed a button on the remote by her bed as he said, “You slept for about a day and a half. You passed out on the way here, but they checked everything out when we got here and they say, considering, your body is healing as it should, although they had to redo your stitches, but there’s no infection or anything. Other than that, you’ve just been sleeping. They’ve been giving you fluids through the IV.” Cassian broke his gaze from Nestas to look down at Sloan. “She’s been getting formula while you’ve been out, but I told them you planned to breastfeed, so when your nurse comes in, she’ll help.”
Nesta nodded, taking in all the information. She had slept for a long time, but that exhaustion lingered and she had a feeling it would for quite some time.
The door swung open a minute later and Claire came in, looking much cleaner and less frazzled than the last time Nesta saw her, although her eyes teared up when she caught sight of Nesta awake.
No words were needed as Claire went to the side of the bed and wrapped Nesta in her arms. Nesta returned the embrace and they cried together, careful for Sloan between them.
“Thank you,” Nesta breathed. “I’m so sorry, that he pulled you into it, but, I- I’m so thankful you were there.”
Claire only nodded, unable to trust herself to speak, then cleared her throat. “Okay, momma, let's feed this beautiful baby.”
It took a while for Sloan to latch, which Claire explained wasn’t uncommon, but when she did and began to eat, Nesta felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.
Nesta meant it. She was so incredibly grateful to Claire. Without her, neither she nor Sloan would have made it. As someone who Tomas also forced against her will to comply with his wishes, Claire had done her best to make sure Nesta survived a horrid childbirth, and she had brought Sloan to safety.
For that, Nesta was, and always would be, in Claire’s debt.
When Nesta told her as much, Claire simply shook her head with tears in her eyes and said, “Invite me to her first birthday bash and send me the yearly Christmas card. That will be more than enough.”
Her throat was so tight, she didn’t think she could speak, so she nodded and embraced her again.
“Thank you for getting me out, for giving me time to run, too,” Claire whispered, her mouth close to Nesta’s ear. “I really didn’t… I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” The words were so quiet, Nesta doubted Cassian could hear them from where he sat on the couch, Sloan milk-drunk on his chest, fast asleep.
Nesta leaned back and took Claire’s hand in her own. “We’re here. We both made it out.”
Claire gave her a soft smile before leaving to continue her rounds.
When a knock came at the door less than an hour later, she was expecting her sisters, but instead, she was looking at Lucien Vanserra’s eldest brother.
“Eris,” she said, inclining her head in greeting.
He nodded to both she and Cassian. “First of all, congratulations.” He looked at the baby in Cassian’s arms. She looked so small. He sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to have to do this, but when you’re released, we’ll need a statement from both of you.” Cassian looked ready to object, but he quickly added, “We’re not going to be pursuing any charges, but we have...a lot of stories and timelines to sort through.”
Nesta slowly looked to Cassian, who was watching her with weary eyes.
“It’s okay,” Nesta said. “We’ll come to the station on Friday.”
Eris nodded, said his thanks, and was off again.
She didn’t want to, but she already knew she would have to make a statement, and the faster she got it all over with and behind her, the better.
“I hate that guy,” Cassian mumbled, once the door was shut, and Nesta had no idea why, but she started to laugh.
Maybe it was because it was true - Eris Vanserra was a total prick, he always had been. Maybe it was because she hadn’t expected the comment, it had caught her off guard. Or, maybe it was because Cassian looked so cute in his new fatherly role, their newborn sound asleep with her mouth hanging open on his chest.
Maybe it was because she was exhausted, sore as shit, and amazed that she had actually lived through what she’d just gone through.
Her bet was on the last one, but she didn’t care as she plopped her face into her hands and howled.
Cassian just stared at her like she’d gone absolutely mad.
And when her laughter became a mixture of laughter and a sob, he really looked concerned. Hell, Nesta was concerned for herself.
Maybe she was going mad.
Too many emotions. She had too many fucking emotions. Joy, comfort from the fact that her baby girl was here, healthy, thriving. Pain and misery from the trauma she had just gone through. Utter adoration at the sight of the love of her life, holding onto her baby girl with gentle, loving arms. Terror, complete terror from who Tomas was to her.
Over the fact that she’d killed him.
Yes, it was justified.
But she had still killed a man. A man that she had once thought she loved.
It certainly didn’t help that she had just given birth and her emotions were heightened. She wanted to scream, laugh, cry, run as fast as she could to nowhere in particular, while also staying right where she was, with Cassian and Sloan.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He asked, hand rubbing a gentle path along their newborn’s back.
She watched him, so in love with him, with Sloan, with her life. She chuckled quietly and said, “I’m perfect. Everything is perfect.”
But things weren’t perfect.
Things were complicated, surreal. She was living halfway in a dream, and halfway in a nightmare without fully knowing what the future held. She had survived mass chaos and her greatest fears, while simultaneously gaining what she never thought she’d be able to have - a child, a man that loved her.
She was unsure how to feel, unsure how to think.
But she had to believe that, in the end, it was all going to be okay.
Eventually.
__
The first night home, Cassian expected to have to get up to console a crying Sloan. The baby monitor was on his side of the bed and Nesta had fallen asleep before her head even hit the pillow. He’d stayed up with his baby girl for an hour or two before he’d decided to try and sleep as well. Sloan slept surprisingly well for a newborn, usually only waking two or three times a night to eat, if that.
So when Nesta began thrashing in her sleep, tears streaming down the sides of her face, silent screams contorting her expression into one of terror rather than peaceful sleep, Cassian was immediately trying to wake her.
But what she was experiencing was deeper than a simple dream. No, she was there again, tied to that chair, feeling her water break and her contractions felt just as real as they were that night.
“Babe,” he begged, taking her face into his hands, his face coming close to hers. “Nesta, sweetheart, wake up.”
She sobbed, her body shaking uncontrollably as she clung to her blanket, but Cassian did not let her go.
He wrapped her into his arms and cried alongside her, guilt flooding his entire body, heartache controlling the depths of his soul.
“Nesta.”
His voice was hard, demanding, comforting, controlled.
Her cries lessened, just a little bit as her body melted into his.
“Sweetheart.”
She became silent, her hands now gripping onto his old, holey shirt, instead of her comforter.
“I’m here,” he whispered, a plea for her to hear, to understand, to realize.
Her forehead leaned into his hard chest, and his arms tightened around her sore body. He didn’t move, nor did she, as they clung to one another in the night.
“You’re safe,” he promised, his voice low, as his hands ran up and down her spine.
She opened her eyes.
She met his gaze.
They stared at one another, unblinking, for a moment, before Nesta breathed, “I’m scared.”
Cassian’s heart broke at the whispered confession, his arms tightening around her shaking frame. “You’re safe,” he repeated. “Sloan is safe, you’re safe, our home is protected, my love, you’re safe.”
She nodded but her eyes slipped shut. She breathed, “I killed him and he still wins.”
He shook his head, letting his lips brush over her head. “He didn’t win, Nes. You’re still dealing with the shit he did to you, yes, but that’s only because it’s all so fresh.”
A small cry crackled over the speaker of the monitor on the bedside table. Cassian was about to throw back the covers, to trudge down the hall and rock Sloan back to sleep after a quick bottle. But Nesta was up, her dream and the wail making her nearly frantic, having to see her baby with her own two eyes to know she was okay.
Cassian sighed when he heard the door to Sloan’s nursery open, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. He’d been sleeping like shit, too, worrying about Nes and checking on Sloan. And there was the fact that hospital couches were not meant for anyone taller than five-foot-two much less someone six-foot-three. He’d stay in bed and when Nesta returned, he’d wrap her in his arms and scratch her back like she loved.
Except she didn’t come back to bed.
After a few minutes, Cass cautiously got up and stepped into the hall. He was halfway expecting to see Tomas creeping down the stairs with his daughter, regardless of the fact that his body was currently cooling in the county morgue. There was light coming through the cracked door to Sloan’s nursery and Cassian gently pushed it open.
Nesta was cradling Sloan in her arms, murmuring to her as she nursed. The baby’s eyes were wide open, staring up at her mother. The scene made Cassian’s heart melt.
He didn’t say a word, he kept completely silent as he watched the scene before him unfolded. Unable to keep himself from tearing up, he leaned against the threshold and stared. Nesta looked up at him, her eyes sad but full of wonder.
“She looks like you,” she whispered.
Cassian snorted, although it was half assed. “She’s perfect.”
Her eyes softened as she smiled up at him. “Yes, she is.”
Cassian went to the chair in which Nesta was rocking their daughter and sat against the wall beside them. He watched as Sloan fed, as Nesta watched her daughter lovingly.
“I want her to stay in our room,” Nesta admitted, at last. “I can’t… I have to know she’s safe, I want to know that she’s safe.”
Cassian nodded, without argument. “In the morning, I’ll bring up the bassinet I made from the cabin. I’ll put it by the bed. She can sleep with us for as long as you want.”
“Thank you,” she sighed, relief evident on her face.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled and rubbed a hand up and down her leg.
She cringed and pulled it away. “Oh gods, please, no. It’s been, like, a solid five months since I’ve been able to shave my legs.”
He laughed. “I gave you a foot massage last week. I know what your legs feel like.”
She rolled her eyes, gently beginning to rock Sloan. “That was when I was pregnant. I’m not pregnant anymore. My excuse for not shaving my legs is officially gone.” She looked down at her precious little girl. “Well, I mean, guess she’s technically, officially here.”
Cassian laughed, watching her with adoration in his eyes. Nesta took to the role of being a mother so well, he wondered how she’d ever been able to give up the idea before, when she’d thought it was impossible.
She was gazing down at Sloan, softly brushing her finger over her cheek, when she caught Cassian’s gaze. She laughed awkwardly and blushed. She asked, “Why are you staring at me?”
He shrugged and stood up onto his knees. “Because I can.”
She snorted but leaned down to press her lips to his. “I love you.”
He didn’t stop kissing her, let his lips brush hers, as he said, “I love you, too, sweetheart.”
#the ranch nessian#sharacollab#theranchnessian#snacmc#snelbz tacmc collab#nessian#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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The Ranch {19}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
Nesta stood in the paint department and looked at the wall of samples in front of her. She wanted something light, but something that stood out, too. She didn’t want anything like her father had chosen back in the nineties and-.
She shook her head, trying to free her head of the deja vu that washed over her and chuckling quietly. She had been here before, had done this before. Things were just...a little different this time.
As if she wanted to remind her mother of this fact, Nesta felt a sharp pain against her ribs and she inhaled sharply through her teeth. Beau looked up at her, brown eyes wide. He hadn’t left her side since the beginning of her third trimester and Nesta had learned to love the constant, comforting presence.
“Your sister is using my ribs as a punching bag,” she told him, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t understand her. He opened his mouth in what Nesta swore was a smile and his tongue hung to the side.
He always smiled when they talked about the baby.
Nesta was floored as she realized how different her life had become in twelve months. A year ago, she’d been deciding whether or not she should give up everything she’d ever wanted, to move home and run her father’s crumbling dream of a bed and breakfast. Now she was about to have a baby, her perfect, little girl, and she was going to marry the man of her dreams, the man who gave her the gift she never thought possible.
“Nesta?”
She froze, recalling how someone had called her name the last time she’d been here, who it had been when she turned. But it wasn’t Tomas, just Azriel standing in his old, torn jeans and black hoodie. Out of all of them, it was Azriel who looked the least the part of a rancher, but he sure as hell knew what he was doing.
“Cass said you were running into town, but this was the last place I thought I’d see you,” Azriel said, when Nesta said nothing.
Nesta, collecting her thoughts, gestured to the wall of paint samples. “Nursery color.”
“Ah,” Azriel said, huffing a laugh as he stopped next to her and looked at the wall. Beau brushed up against his leg, and he gave the pup a loving scratch behind the ears. “What about purple?”
Nesta frowned, looking at the endless samples of purple. She had gone over the lavender hues ten times already. “Too predictable. Pink, too. I’ve ruled them both out.”
Azriel chuckled. “Fair enough. Cass wants to paint it green.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. She had to admit that she had her eye on a neutral olive color, but it didn’t seem right, it wasn't special enough. “So I’ve been told. I told him no, though.”
It was true. In fact, the night before they’d had a heated debate over what color the nursery would be. It ended in them making love on the nursery’s carpet, but that was irrelevant.
“How about blue?” Azriel suggested, picking up a few different swatches. “There are a ton of different shades of blue, surely there’s one you two can agree on.”
It was her favorite color, but it limited her decorating choices. Both the camouflage and rodeo nursery ideas were nixed last night as well, and Cassian was still pouting about it.
“I’ve been leaning towards a softer yellow or orange.” She lifted a buttery yellow card from its slot. It was too bright, too rich. She added it to the stack, knowing it may look different away from the fluorescent lights. “Like the sunrise. First light.”
Azriel was nodding. “Why don’t you ask Feyre to paint the sunrise?”
Nesta was going to blame her stupidity on pregnancy brain as her eyes went wide and she said, “I hadn’t even thought of that. She’d love that.”
Azriel just smiled, softly. “Feyre would be honored, if you asked her.”
Nesta nodded, slowly, then picked out a couple different shades of yellows and oranges. “Since you’re here, please take me to get some tacos. I’ll buy. Might even bring some home to Cass, if he’s been good this morning.” Azriel’s grin widened as they began walking toward the exit. “A little cranky, I must say, but I think that’s just because he’s hungover.”
Nesta snorted. After their fight over paints, he’d indulged himself - one beer too many, perhaps. “It doesn’t take much to be hungover when you wake up at five a.m.”
“True,” Azriel agreed. “I could do tacos, though.”
“Good,” Nesta said, putting the paint swatches into her purse as she and Azriel walked out onto the sidewalk, Beau close behind.
It wasn’t until they were down the street at a taco vendor’s food truck that Nesta asked, “So, when the hell are you going to ask my sister to marry you?”
The bite he’d been in the process of taking nearly came back out. Nesta didn’t even flinch. She’d spent so much time throwing up in the past eight months that partially chewed food didn’t even phase her. She blinked and waited for him to collect himself before he took a drink of the Corona in his hand.
“You just go straight for the balls, don’t you?” He laughed.
She raised her eyebrows. “Have you met my fiancé?”
“Fair enough,” he laughed, but he sighed. “You want the honest truth?”
Nesta suddenly realized she wasn’t sure. She was meddling and the only person who hated meddling more than she did was Elain. But she nodded.
Az took a deep breath and said, “I’ve had the ring for almost six months.”
“What?” Nesta’s eyes must have nearly bulged out of her head, because Az backed up a step. “And why exactly haven’t you proposed?”
His smile was soft but proud, as he said, “I don’t want to take this time from you, or from Cassian. You’re having a baby. Like, Nesta, you’re growing a literal human inside of yourself.” He chuckled and smiled fondly. “Did you know that even when we were in high school all Cass wanted from life was to rope and have a family. You’re giving him one of those things and I can’t ever thank you for making my brother so happy. And I don’t want to take that spotlight from y’all. I want you to have your moment, so that when the time comes, Elain can have hers.”
Nesta hated Azriel for making her cry over her taco, and yet, tears were sliding down her cheeks as she set her taco back down onto her plate and observed him. Eventually, she cleared her throat and said, “Elain is a lucky woman.”
Azriel just shook his head as he took another bite. “That woman deserves the world. If anyone’s lucky, it’s me.”
Nesta found herself completely overwhelmed. A year ago, she hadn’t believed love existed, but now? Her and Cassian, Elain and Azriel, Feyre and Rhysand...this type of love was rare, Nesta was sure of it, but somehow they all ended up in a fairytale romance. Her sisters were happy, she was happy...it was perfect.
“Don’t tell your sister that I made you cry,” Azriel went on, shoving the last of his taco into his mouth. “She’ll kick my ass. She’s scary when she wants to be.”
She shook her head, dabbing at her eyes with a scratchy napkin. “She’ll understand when you knock her up. I cried yesterday during a Christmas commercial.” Azriel waited, knowing that was somewhat common. “A commercial for cattle feed.”
He nodded. “I believe you. Doesn’t change the fact that your sister will punch me in the dick if she finds out I was the cause of your tears.”
They both laughed and Nesta smiled. “Thank you for making her so happy.”
Az gave her that full smile that so many rarely saw. “It’s my pleasure.”
Nesta finished her tacos and ordered some for Cassian for the road. “Word of advice,” she said, getting into her car. Beau already patiently sat in the passenger seat. “Don’t ask her on a holiday. Girls don’t want to share their special day.”
Azriel’s eyebrows raised. “I...hadn’t thought of that.”
Nesta chuckled. “You were going to propose on New Years, weren’t you?”
He nodded once. “Yes, I was.”
She laughed, full and bright, and said, “How about this? You tell me when it’s time, I’ll plan a family dinner and voila, you’ve got yourself a fiancée.”
“Really?” Azriel asked, stopping in front of the driver’s side of the truck’s door.
“Of course,” Nesta said, crossing her arms, the bag of Cassian’s food hanging on her arm.
“Thank you,” he said, and she knew by the look in his eyes that he meant it.
Although they were going to the same place, they said their goodbyes and Nesta drove home, slowly. By the time she made it back home to the ranch with her paint swatches, Cassian was mowing the lawn. He was shirtless, of course, and was chugging a bottle of water as he rode the lawn mower across the grass. As Nesta pulled into the driveway, he was waving and putting it in park.
He was covered in sweat, but Nesta still didn’t stop him as he pressed his lips to the side of her head. “The grass was long.”
Nesta nodded. She had wanted to ask him to mow, considering she was too pregnant to do so, but hadn’t wanted to interrupt his daily plans. “I brought you tacos.”
“Mmm, that’s exactly why I’m marrying you,” he said, pulling her onto his sweaty lap and opening the box in her hands.
She squirmed out of his arms, as best as she could at eight and a half months pregnant and said, “I’m going to go hang the swatches on the wall, come see when you’re done?”
He nodded, shoving an entire taco in his mouth.
She chuckled, but shivered as a brisk wind blew by. “Cass, I know the sun is straight on you, but it’s forty-five degrees out. Don’t you think you should put a shirt on?”
He finished chewing and said, “How else will I keep my tan year round?”
She shook her head and said, “I’ll be inside, call me if you need me. I love you.”
He smiled at her, those hazel eyes sparkling from the joy he felt inside. “I love you too, darlin’.”
She turned and started up the porch steps and heard, “Hey.”
Nesta looked back at him and he asked, the sparkle replaced by his usual mischievous glint, “You got any green swatches in there?”
Nesta rolled her eyes as Azriel pulled the truck in next to her little car. “No.”
She continued up into the house, laughing when she heard Az ask why the hell he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She pulled the swatches out of her purse, including the couple of greens she’d snagged on their way out, along with her phone and she and Beau made their way up to her old room.
The room that she grew up in was the same room her daughter would too.
As she was taping swatches to the room, in various lighting, she called Feyre, putting her phone on speaker.
“Hello?” her sister answered a second later.
“Hey,” Nesta said, looking around the room. “I have a favor to ask.” “Ask away,” Feyre said.
Nesta admired the swatches she had chosen before clearing her throat. “Would you mind...helping me paint the baby’s nursery?”
There was a slight pause, then Feyre’s quiet voice came through, “Of course.”
“I was thinking the sunrise,” Nesta continued, trying not to cry for the tenth time that day. “Bright, cheery, calming.”
“I can do that,” Feyre breathed. “I can come by this weekend?”
“Perfect,” Nesta agreed. There was a few seconds of silence before Nesta said, “Thank you.”
“Anything for my niece,” Feyre said, then added, “And anything for you. And that idiot fiancé of yours.”
Nesta peeked out the window where Cassian was still mowing without his shirt on. He always acted like it was spring, even in the winter. Although their town stayed pretty mild, winter-wise, there was still a little chill in the air. “Idiot he is, but he’s my idiot.”
Feyre chuckled. “Still on for dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course,” Nesta promised. “I’ll see you then.”
They said their goodbyes before Nesta was left alone, in the silence, observing the room around her. Five minutes of planning in her head passed before heavy boots padded up the stairs and Cassian appeared, now wearing a hoodie, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. “Can I help with anything?”
She was admiring the colors in the direct sunlight. “You can tell me which of these you like best.”
“Hmm.” He came up behind her, pressing his big hands against her belly. Even as round as she was, even at over eight months pregnant, his hands still covered most of it. But then they slid upwards until he was cupping a breast in each hand. He made a show of weighing them and squeezing them gently, and said, “I don’t know, I think I’m pretty partial to the left one.”
She rolled her eyes, laughing, and pushed away from him, walking towards the wall. “I meant color, baby.”
“Oh, well that’s easy,” he snorted, coming in closer as well.
It turned out that it was, in fact, not easy.
After forty-five minutes of arguing and an almost silent quickie with the door open to make up, they had narrowed it down to New Spring Chick and Frosted Tropical Apricot.
They would let Feyre make the final decision in the morning.
“Don’t you have to get back out there?” Nesta asked.
Cassian shook his head. “For now, Az has it covered, it’s been an easy day. I was thinking you and I could go out to dinner, though.”
Nesta lifted a brow. “Dinner?”
Cassian nodded, then gestured to her belly. “We only have so much more time before baby comes. We should have a date night while we can.”
Nesta watched him for a moment before saying, “Okay, fine. But does this mean I have to get dressed up?”
Cassian grinned. “You could wear fucking sweatpants for all I care, but I’m taking you out.”
She wouldn’t wear sweatpants, but she also didn’t plan on wearing another real pair of pants until after this baby was out of her.
Cassian pressed a soft kiss to her stomach, which he did every chance he took, and left to go take a much needed shower. Nesta got ready, slipping on a pair of comfy black leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Cass ended up dressing nearly identically, except he did wear sweatpants.
They hopped in the “play truck” and right before they left, Cassian said, “Shit, I’ll be right back.”
Nesta sat straight up, hands forming a protective cage around her stomach. “What? Is everything okay?”
He jogged into the house and came back out a minute later, backpack tossed over his shoulder. Climbing back into the truck, he tossed it in the backseat and put it in reverse.
“What is that?” she asked. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“This,” Cass replied, putting his free hand in Nesta’s and rubbing soothing circles into the back of her hand, “is our emergency bag. It’s got everything we’ll need in it in case you go into labor. Clothes, insurance paperwork, phone chargers, snacks.” He began a smooth back and forth motion. “Diapers, binkies, onesies, little socks and blankets, and everything else our precious girl is going to need.”
She blinked, and hated that tears were, once again, rolling down her cheeks. “You have truly thought of everything, haven’t you?”
Cassian shrugged. “You’re literally growing my child inside of you. As your baby daddy, it’s my job to take as much stress off of you as possible.”
Nesta leaned over the center console and pressed her lips to his cheek. “Thank you.”
He grinned, fully satisfied with himself, as he pulled onto the road and headed into town. They drove to a little Italian restaurant because Nesta had mentioned she could use a plate full of breadsticks. Cassian ordered it to go, though, and hopped back into the truck before driving a mile down the road to the old high school. He parked in the parking lot before hopping out and putting down the truck bed.
“Come on, babe,” he called, already taking the boxes of pasta out of the bag. When Nesta came around, he helped her onto the back of the truck before joining her there, his thigh brushing hers.
She ate her alfredo happily, indeed chowing down on an insane number of breadsticks that Cassian swore he didn’t count.
He was rubbing her feet when she asked, voice quiet, “Are you scared?”
He looked at her, at how she was staring off toward the football field, pretending not to notice him staring at her. “Am I scared of doing something stupid? Yes. Am I scared it’s going to be a lot more than we’re expecting? Yes. Am I scared we’re going to get in over our heads? Yes. Am I scared that there’s about to be a miniature version of you running around? Hell yes.” He turned her face toward his, forcing her to look at him. “But am I scared to be a father? No. Am I scared to meet our daughter? No. Am I scared to do this with you? Absolutely not.”
She whispered, “Quit making me cry.”
But he shook his head, softly. “I love you, Nesta. And yeah, I am scared, but I can’t wait. This little girl already has me wrapped around her finger and she’s not even here yet.”
A tear slid down her cheek that he quickly reached up and brushed away. “Are you scared?”
Nesta took a moment to think about it, but then she sighed. “Yes, and no. It’s complicated.”
Cassian chuckled, in full understanding.
“I’m scared because I don’t know what to expect,” she said, after a minute. “I’m not sure how to handle the not knowing.”
“That’s why we have each other, sweetheart,” he kissed the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get home. I have a shitload of furniture to build tonight.”
The egregiously overpriced infant's bedroom suit that Nesta had seen online had been delivered that afternoon. Cassian couldn’t understand how Nesta could justify spending as much as some people spent on a vehicle on furniture that was just going to get covered in shit and baby barf.
Not to mention that it had been shipped from overseas.
They packed up their trash and got back in the truck, heading for home.
“While I carry all of the boxes upstairs, why don’t you take a nice bath, baby?” He asked. “And then when you’re done, you can read me instructions that I won’t listen to while I figure out how to put it all together.”
Nesta shook her head, unable to stop herself from chuckling. “At least you’re honest.”
He took her hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles. “I am that.”
Nesta had to admit that the thought of a bath sounded incredible, though, so she didn’t argue. Once they got home, Nesta was making her way, slowly, up the porch, inside, and up the stairs while Cassian got to work on gathering the boxed nursery furniture. They had a changing table, a bookshelf, a dresser, and a crib, all of which Nesta had bought from a small French boutique that had always caught her eye in Paris. When Cassian asked why they couldn’t just go into town and buy something that was already assembled, Nesta’s answer was simple: she was getting what she wanted, and she wanted the modern, white, sleek furniture she’d on her walk to work every day.
Cassian didn’t argue.
While she was soaking in the tub, she could hear Cass moving around in the other room. She’d hear a thump as a box was dropped or something would start dragging across the floor. At one point, she heard a loud bang followed by Son of a bitch!
Nesta laughed quietly to herself and smoothed a hand over her belly, which stuck out of the water by a considerable amount. “Daddy’s getting your room put together, sweet girl, and then we’re ready for you to get here whenever you are.”
She leaned her head back against the cool, porcelain tub, sighing happy. Life had become so crazy lately, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be stressed about it.
Her phone vibrated on the small table by her head and when she leaned up to glance at it, her hand slipped on the slick surface. The table knocked against the tub and Nesta gasped as her phone fell into the water.
“Shit,” she breathed, grabbing it out and tossing it onto a nearby towel. She decided that was the end of her bath and got out drying herself off and getting dressed.
She tried to power her phone back on, knowing she shouldn’t but hoping it hadn’t been in the water long enough to do any damage. The logo popped up in the middle of the screen then it went black and began to make a whirring noise.
“Damn it.” She sighed and made her way downstairs, throwing it in a bag of rice to see if it could be salvaged. Otherwise, it looked like she’d be going into town the next day for a new phone.
Cassian was padding down the stairs a moment later, his brows furrowed. He took one look at Nesta and froze, then looked down at her phone in the bag of rice. “Your phone take a bath, too?”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe.” With a deep sigh, she leaned back against the counter. “I’m pissed.”
“Me too,” Cassian mumbled, throwing open the fridge and grabbing two beers. “I’ve decided that I hate France. Or at least French furniture. Fuck France and their fancy furniture.”
Nesta snorted and came up behind him, attempting to wrap her arms around his waist, but over her giant bump, she hardly managed to reach around his sides.
Cassian's body shook with silent laughter as he turned to face her. “Bump in the way?” He asked, before setting one of his beer cans on the top of it, which only made Nesta roll her eyes.
“It’s not a table,” she laughed.
“Seems pretty convenient to me,” he shrugged, popping open a can and chugging it down. He brushed his hand over her bump, and just when he touched, baby girl kicked wildly from inside, which only made Nesta groan.
“That either means that she loves me, or that she’s telling me to fuck off,” Cassian said, which made Nesta laugh. After he kissed her forehead, then the bump with the wild, little Nazari inside, he said, “Alright, baby mama, come upstairs and watch me struggle.”
She smirked and headed for the stairs as he tossed the empty can in the trash, opened the second and grabbed a third to take upstairs. “I already do that on the daily. What’s so different about building furniture?”
She heard him mimic her words in a mocking tone and she laughed as she topped the stairs and made her way into the nursery.
It looked like a styrofoam factory exploded. There were pieces everywhere and screws littering the little catch-all tray he pulled from his tool box. She sighed, realizing it was going to be a long night.
But when she looked out the window, into the starry, cloudless night, and screamed Cassian’s name, she forgot all about furniture and messy packing materials. She forgot all about her phone lying useless on the kitchen counter. She even, for a moment, forgot her own name.
Because the stables were catching on fire.
Cassian was instantly behind her, his eyes wide as he swore violently. “Stay here,” he ordered, and then he was gone, pulling out his phone on the way out the nursery door.
Nesta could only stare in horror as Cassian's dark figure, only outlined by the light of the moon, sprinted down the path that led to the stables.
It was quickly going up in flames, all consuming, raging flames. Nesta didn’t understand how it could have happened.
Only moments ago, she had been down in the kitchen and the stables were fine.
Then, the thought that had her heart stopping entered her mind. It hadn’t been an accident, couldn’t have been an accident, but that didn’t make any sense.
A slow panic crept into the pit of her stomach, she was breathing heavier, her heart beating wildly as she sobbed, holding onto her bump, the only thing that allowed her to keep her sanity.
Nesta remembered that Az had told her he’d put the horses in the pasture this morning, since it wasn’t supposed to rain, and she was thankful to whatever god whispered in his ear and told him to do so.
She needed to call someone, needed to get the fire department here. Needed to call her sisters, to call Az. Without thinking, she turned and ran from the room, carefully making her way down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Her phone wasn’t on the counter where she’d left it and she frantically looked around the kitchen.
She plunged into near darkness as the lights went out and a frightened scream burst from Nesta, followed by a sob.
She needed Cassian.
She screamed his name, her voice full of shaking terror as she reached around, trying to find something to hold onto. Eventually, her hands found the edge of the counter and she told herself to breath, in and out. Stress wasn’t good for the baby, panic wasn’t good for the baby.
But she couldn’t help it, and as if the infant in her womb knew that something horrible was happening, she kicked wildly.
Nesta felt the need to puke but she couldn’t move, not in the darkness, not as far from the city as they were. Even as her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she couldn’t see through the endless tears.
She tried one more time to scream Cassian’s name, but her voice came out broken, terrified, and it was no use, he was too far away.
She thought she heard a door open and close across the house and she froze. Her voice cracked as she called, “Cass?”
There was no answer.
Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong. She held onto the counter as she quickly ran for the back door - only to find that it was jammed shut, a two-by-four under the doorknob preventing it from opening.
She began to hyperventilate as she realized that this, all of this, was deliberate. The fire still blazed outside, and Nesta heard a creak from the old, wood flooring in the other room. Her blood chilled as she realized that she wasn’t alone in the house.
She ran for the front door, finding it stuck shut as well. “Please, please, please!” She sobbed, pulling on the door as hard as she could. There were unmistakably footsteps from the dining room and she cried, “Please, I’m pregnant, please.”
She hurried back to the kitchen as quietly as she could and silently opened a drawer, pulling out a large knife. She held it out, blindly as she took shuddering breaths.
Then he appeared, in the doorway, wearing a dark hoodie, the hood pulled up. He was tall, his shoulders broad, but slim.
She knew who it was.
She would be foolish to convince herself it wasn’t him. He hadn’t gotten what he wanted from her, had stalked her for months without saying a word. He didn’t come any closer.
Nesta did not lower her knife.
She tried to convince herself to look unafraid, to sound calm, but she couldn’t help the tears that continued to stream down her face.
Inside of her womb, the infant became utterly still.
Nesta swallowed and lifted her chin. “Leave,” she ordered, the demand echoing in the silence. “Or I will kill you, and I will not hesitate.”
Even as she said the words, she wasn’t convinced they were true.
Cassian couldn’t breathe. There was smoke in his eyes, it was unbearably hot, and he couldn’t stop coughing, but then he was out in the fresh night air, his back hitting the soft grass.
He knew that Az had led the horses out before he left today, had watched him take them out one by one, but he had to make sure. He had to verify that there wasn’t one down somewhere.
He found nothing, not a horse or person inside.
Except the overwhelming smell of gasoline.
This fire wasn’t natural, it was intentional. This fire was set.
He’d called Azriel before his feet had hit the landing of the stairs telling him what was happening and asking him to call the fire department. He didn’t know what else to do. It’s not like he could turn on the garden hose and put it out. With as much accelerant was used, it would burn all night.
He knew exactly who it was, he didn’t try to delude himself into anything else.
A truck door slammed and Feyre and Rhys were running toward him.
“What happened?” He asked, helping him stand. Cassian saw that his arm was covered in soot. “I have no idea. We were building baby furniture and the barn was fine, came down to the kitchen so I could grab a beer, and when Nes got back upstairs it was in a blaze.” He coughed, but continued, “Smells like a damn Mapco in there, there was so much gasoline dumped.”
“Gasoline?” Feyre asked, covering her mouth in horror.
Cassian nodded. “Tomas did this.”
Rhysand stilled as Feyre’s face paled.
“I have to go to Nesta,” she breathed, backing away from the fire, even though she wasn’t close to it. She glanced back at the dark. “Is she down at the cabin?”
Cassian’s face fell as he glanced up at the big house, then, he was sprinting.
If Tomas had done this, which Cassian was sure he did, he would still be close. He ran without stopping, without a breath, until he was up the back porch. The door was wide open, a piece of wood sitting off to the side.
Cassian was inside of the kitchen before he screamed, “Nesta?!”
There was no reply in the dark house, no movement or creak or whisper. He frantically flicked the light switch, nothing happening.
“What’s going on?” Feyre called, catching up and coming up the stairs.
Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but there was a banging from the front of the house. “Nesta?!”
He was running through the dark house immediately, finding Azriel and Elain on the other side of the front door. It was jammed closed as well. “Move!”
They did as he said and he put all of his weight into the motion as he tried to shove the door open. On the second try, it gave way.
Elain was already crying when she and Az ran in. He said, “Fire department is on the way.”
Cassian was about to say something when Rhysand’s shaking voice called out from the kitchen. “Cass… come here.”
The sound of his voice chilled Cassian’s blood. He hurried back, could see from the glow that either Feyre or Rhys was using their phone’s flashlight function.
He stumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over himself and ran to the other side of the island.
He froze.
One of the kitchen knives was missing from its spot in the open drawer, but it laid on the floor, just a few feet away.
There was so much blood.
She was gone. He took her. By taking her, he took them both.
Cassian heaved over the kitchen sink, everything within his stomach emptying out. He knew he was crying, but he didn’t care. He knew he was sobbing, but no one tried to comfort him. Knew no one was sure how.
Nesta was gone. His baby girl was gone. Tomas had taken them. They were gone, the only hunch of where they had gone written on the kitchen floor: a long kitchen knife and a puddle of blood.
Cassian was ready to set the world on fire.
“I have to find her,” he breathed, he cried, as his face fell into his hands next to the kitchen sink. “I will find her.”
“Cass-.”
“No,” Cassian interrupted Rhysand before he could even say a word. “He’s out there, and he has my fucking fiancée and child!”
But Rhysand only shook his head. “I know. I’m coming, too.”
“Me too,” Azriel agreed, then looked to Elain, who nodded.
“We'll take care of things around here,” Elain promised. “Go to the police. Now.”
Cassian was already near the front door, just as a fire truck pulled onto the grounds.
“I’ll go talk to them,” Feyre said, and kissed Rhysand quickly on the cheek before hurrying out the back door, Elain close behind.
Cassian was looking around the house as he walked, even though he’d already searched the entirety of it. Rhysand and Azriel were on his heels as they exited through the front door.
Rhysand’s truck had the most room, and they knew letting Cassian drive wasn’t the smartest. The first logical place to go was the Carlson ranch, only to find it deserted. Cassian looked at the window, where he’d hurled the brick back at him.
“Where would they go?” Azriel asked, kicking something aside as they searched through his workshop.
Rhysand’s phone rang and he answered it. A quick conversation took place, and Feyre said the police needed to talk to Cassian.
They loaded back up into the truck and went back to the ranch. The police were there, along with the fire department and an ambulance, and the second Cassian’s feet hit the ground, questions were being asked.
“What happened?”
Cassian replayed the situation, from the second Nesta had noticed the fire blazing up until the point he realized they were missing.
“You have to find her,” he told the police, after he told his story. “She’s thirty-eight weeks pregnant, nearly ready to go into labor, you have to fucking find her.”
“We will do everything we ca-.”
“Find her!” he yelled, grabbing the cop he’d been talking to by the shoulders. No one reacted, everyone stayed calm, even the cop that was being grabbed.
The young cop simply took a deep breath before saying, “We will look for her, adamantly, starting now.”
Cassian released his shoulders and nodded, and said in a quiet voice. “Thank you, just… I have to get them back.”
He looked over to where the stables once stood. Now it was a smoldering pile of wood and cinders, all that time put in, all those memories. Gone up in a blaze.
They told Cassian he couldn’t stay in their house that night, that they’d be combing through it for any evidence.
He asked a passing officer, “Will you please, please tell me if that’s her blood?”
The dark red hair, the amber eyes. He was a Vanserra, no doubt.
He nodded. “As soon as we know something, we’ll let you know.”
They let Cassian go in, accompanied by Elain, to get what he would need for the next few days.
Elain did most of the packing, although she cried the whole time. Cassian couldn’t stay focused though, couldn’t concentrate on anything other than her.
All he could think about was Nesta and their baby, where they were, what he was doing to them.
But per the cops request, Cassian went home with Azriel and Elain to wait for further word.
But he didn’t sleep, didn’t rest.
And he wouldn’t until he found them.
Nesta, and his baby girl.
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The Ranch {13}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
It was way too early for Cassian’s alarm to be going off, if he couldn’t remember anything from Rhysand’s wedding.
Fuck, his head killed. And his chest. And, shit, his entire body.
He realized the beeping wasn’t his alarm at the same moment he remembered what had happened.
With a sputtering cough, Cassian woke up and groaned.
He was in a hospital room, lying on a cot. His body was hooked up to monitors, so many things wrapped around him and poked through his skin that he wasn’t sure what they all were. He wore a hospital gown and a thin blanket was draped over his legs.
Every inch of his body throbbed.
He tried to say something, but nothing came out.
He slowly turned his head to one side. An empty chair sat there. Then he turned his head to the left, where Feyre and Rhysand laid together on a couch.
It was their fucking wedding night, and it was being spent covered in his blood, laying on a shitty couch.
“Rhys,” he said, but his voice was quiet. He tried, again. “Rhys!”
Rhys’ eyes fluttered open, and after a second, they focused on him. “Cass, shit. Are you okay?”
Cassian’s eyes found the bottle of water on the low table in front of Rhys.
“Shit,” he breathed. He kissed the top of Feyre’s head, shaking her lightly. “Baby, wake up, Cass is awake.”
She was up, blinking rapidly. “Cass!” Her eyes immediately welled with tears.
Rhys stood, opening the water bottle and carefully giving Cass a drink.
He cleared his throat and said, voice rasping, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Feyre sat on the edge of the cot and took Cassian’s hand gently in hers. “For what? Are you kidding me?”
“I ruined your day,” he said, eyes closing as his fingers wrapped around Feyre’s.
“The only person at fault is Tamlin,” Feyre breathed, wiping her tears away. “I’m just glad you’re awake.”
Her voice broke on the last word, causing Cassian to open his eyes and give her a reassuring smile. “You can’t get rid of me yet.”
A laugh bubbled out of Feyre as Rhysand said, “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”
Cassian looked at his best friend, at the guilt plainly written there and he shook his head. “No need. You’d do the same for me. Besides, who knew that asshole would pull out a fucking gun?”
Cassian tried to sit up but cringed, his whole body full of shooting pain as he decided to just stay put.
“Just rest,” Feyre said, gently.
“Is Nesta here?” Cassian asked.
Feyre frowned, but it was Rhysand that said, “She’s in the room across the hall.”
Cassian stilled. “What? Why? What happened?”
“She was just dehydrated,” Feyre said, her hand still in Cassian’s. “Apparently she’d been puking her guts up all day yesterday. Which makes sense, I guess, but I had no idea. I should have been paying closer attention. If I knew, I would have made her relax.”
“She was puking?” Cassian asked, then looked at Feyre with a confused expression. “Why would that make sense? Make sense of what?”
A panic look formed in Feyre’s gray-blue eyes. “What?”
Cassian slowly took his hand out of Feyre’s. “You know something.”
“I do not,” she protested, crossing her arms.
Cassian slowly looked from Feyre to Rhys. “Why is your wife lying to me?”
But Rhys wasn’t looking at Cassian, his head was in his hands. Feyre said, “I’m so sorry, it slipped out. I’m just so tired, and it was such a shock that-.”
“What is going on?” Cassian demanded, grunting as he pulled himself into a sitting position. “Why was Nesta admitted? Is she okay?”
Rhys sighed. “They suggested we not tell you yet. The bullet missed your heart by millimeters, Cass. Any lower, and you wouldn’t be here. For that reason, they don’t want you dealing with any stressful situations and-.”
“Nesta’s pregnant.”
Rhys turned to glare at his wife, who shrugged, but Cassian only blinked once, twice, processing. He shook his head slowly, saying, “We can’t have kids. Nesta can’t have kids.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, but the words were distant to his own ears. “She told me she can’t conceive.”
“I know,” Feyre said, quietly. “She was told she couldn’t, Cass, but they ran the test and she’s pregnant.”
Cassian's lips snapped shut as a thousand different emotions flooded through his body. “I just… I don’t… I need to see her. Help me up.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Rhysand said, shaking his head. “You were just fucking shot.”
“Don’t care,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I-.”
“I’ll get her,” Feyre said. “Just...stay put. Alright? She’s in shock enough as it is, both from what happened and finding out….” Feyre’s words trailed off, exhaustion making her shoulders slump. “Just rest, and I’ll be back.”
Feyre slipped out the door and left Cassian and Rhys alone. “I’ll have Az get some clothes and whatever else you’ll need and bring them over to the house so we don’t have to stop on the way home.”
Cassian was only half listening. “What? No, I’m not staying with you.”
Rhys rolled his eyes. “Yes, you are. You were shot in the chest less than 24 hours ago.”
“I can’t leave the ranch,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. To him, it was. “And I’m sure as shit not leaving my pregnant girlfriend there by herself.”
“Cassian, don’t be a dumbass, you can’t-.”
“No, don’t try that shit. You’d be doing the same thing, if the roles were reversed, and you know it.”
Rhysand scowled but didn’t correct him. “I’m the one with medical experience. Nesta’s not-.”
“She can handle a list of instructions, Rhys,” Cassian muttered. “And I can take care of myself.”
Rhysand’s head fell back, exasperated. “Stubborn ass.”
“Prick,” Cassian mumbled back. A moment passed before Cassian said, “If I need you, I’ll call. Besides, you just got married and have dealt with enough shit. I’m not intruding.”
“It’s not intruding if-.” He saw the look on Cassian’s face and sighed. “Fine,” Rhysand said. “But I’m not going to be happy about it.”
“I’m aware,” Cassian said, but now he was grinning, just a little bit.
That grin faded quickly, though, as Cassian looked at the empty doorway, waiting for Nesta to walk through it.
Rhys asked, “Are you okay?”
Cassian knew he wasn’t asking about the gunshot wound. He didn’t answer for a minute because he didn’t know. “I just… I don’t know.” He dragged his good hand down his face. “You don’t think she lied to me, do you?”
Rhys was shaking his head before the question was out. “No, she wouldn’t do that. But also…” Rhys had the decency to look at least somewhat guilty. “I might have had Viv pull her file and I looked through her medical history. She was diagnosed as ‘infertile’ at twenty-two, at a women’s clinic in France.”
Cassian knew he should be pissed at Rhys for the invasion of privacy, but at least knowing that Nesta hadn’t lied to him eased some of the panic he felt rising.
He nodded, slightly. A minute later, Feyre came back into the room, a pale Nesta behind her. One look at Cassian and her eyes were misty.
“We’ll give you two a minute,” Rhysand muttered, taking Feyre’s hand and escorting her out.
Nesta didn’t say a word as she walked to the side of the bed and plopped down in the chair that Feyre had been sitting in.
He turned to look at her, doing his best to hide the pain on his face whenever he moved his left arm. Or the left side of his body. Or his entire body.
“Tell the truth,” he said, wishing she would look at him, instead of at her bare feet on the floor. “Am I sexier now that I’m a hero?” She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob and when she looked up at him, there were tears running down her face. His voice was soft. “Baby…”
“I was so scared I was going to lose you,” she cried, unable to stop the rough, body-shaking sobs.
He pushed himself to the edge of the bed and brushed his fingers along her cheek. “Hey.”
She looked up, eyes red, and she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” he asked, cringing as he pulled her into him. She was gentle, careful for the wound as she buried her face into his neck.
“Feyre said she let it slip,” Nesta said, words muddled against his skin. “But I’m too shocked to be pissed, even though my reaction should be to kick her little ass.”
Cassian huffed a laugh, keeping perfectly still as his arm slid around her. Every ounce of his body cried to call for the nurse and get more pain meds in his system, but he’d wait. “Nesta-.”
“I promise I didn’t know,” Nesta said, voice quiet. “I promise I was told, years ago, that I couldn’t get pregnant, Cass.”
She leaned back and he caught the genuine fear in her eyes. He felt ashamed for doubting her, even for a second.
“I know,” he breathed. “I trust you.”
“I…” she sighed, shaking her head, her words falling short. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said, taking her chin gently in his hand and forcing her to meet his gaze. “I’m not mad. Shocked, completely fucking shocked...but I’m not mad.”
They sat there for a moment, looking at each other, not saying a word. Neither of them had said it yet, but they were both thinking it.
“We’re having a baby,” Nesta breathed.
Cassian took a deep breath and nodded. “We’re having a baby.”
She could see he tried his hardest not to, but the grin was infectious. She began to smile as well. The tears slowed, but didn’t stop.
“I’m scared,” she said, voice small.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, brushing the wild wisps of hair out of her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m going to be there, every step of the way. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere, alright?”
She nodded.
“It’s okay to be scared,” he went on, that low voice soothing. “I’m scared, too.”
She met his gaze with a wistful smile. For a moment, neither of them said a word, but then Nesta frowned. “What the fuck are you doing? Lie back down. Does the nurse even know you’re awake?”
Cassian rolled his eyes. “I am lying down.”
“All the way, against the pillows,” she ordered, already on her feet to reach for the remote on the side of his bed. She pressed the nurse call button.
He groaned. “Nes, I’m fine, they’ll probably release me today and-.”
“You took a round to the chest!” She said, voice rising.
She didn’t want to cry anymore, but damn it, every time she closed her eyes, she would see him lying in his own blood. “You have to take it easy,” she said, after taking a deep breath. She placed a protective hand over her still flat stomach. “We both do. Doctor’s orders.”
Cassian’s jaw locked, but he nodded, nonetheless. “Fine.”
The door swung open and the nurse came in. She gave Cassian a bright smile. “Glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?”
“Like I got shot,” Cassian said, that grin returning.
The nurse chuckled. “Well, the doctor is allowing you to go home today. He has prescribed you pain meds and wants to make sure you don’t live alone.”
Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but Nesta was already saying, “He doesn’t.”
“Good,” the nurse said, taking Cassian’s vitals. “You’ll need to take it easy for the next few weeks. I’ve made you a follow up appointment for next week. Other than that, no physical activity of any kind. Your doctor will tell you more at your follow-up, but until then, rest as much as possible. Even if the meds are working really good and you feel like getting up and doing stuff...don’t.”
“I guess now is a bad time to mention I run a ranch,” he said, opening and closing his left fist, trying to get used to the sling he’d woken up in.
Nesta’s eyebrows rose at his words, but she said nothing.
The nurse chuckled and scribbled something on a clipboard, tucking it back into its slot at the end of the bed. “Well, I’d say it’s time to look into hiring a ranch hand.”
She left without another word and Cassian mumbled, “I am the ranch hand.”
“Azriel and Rhysand said they’ll help,” Nesta said, when they were alone. “And my sisters. And I’ll help, too.”
“You’re pregnant,” Cassian said.
“Pregnant, not useless,” Nesta shot back. “I can still help.”
Cassian sighed, nodding. “I know, I just… I can’t just sit back and relax.”
“It’s only temporary,” Nesta said.
Cassian took a moment to think about all the things he did every day. Sure, with the five of them, it should be fine. But they all four had real world jobs, with real world schedules. Well, all but Rhys. His would change every few weeks, depending on who’s rotation he was on. And the rolls of hay he fed the horses, those weighed damn near seven or eight hundred pounds, and that’s if they were bone dry. The image of Elain and Feyre trying desperately to move a sopping wet, heavy roll of hay made him chuckle.
Nesta looked at him and he sighed. “Having a ranch hand around might not be a bad idea, but only until I’m healed.” He carefully pressed a hand to his bandaged chest and winced. “But it’s only temporary,” he said, repeating Nesta’s words.
“Exactly,” she whispered. “Now, let’s get you home.”
Rhysand came in with a bag of clothes Azriel had brought. Once he was dressed and discharged, the whole bloodied crew walked out into the early evening light. Even though they all had changed and were no longer covered in Cassian’s blood, they all needed a serious shower. Nesta could still feel the dried blood in strands of her hair.
Feyre and Rhysand dropped them off at the ranch and into Nesta’s little house. She was going to take him to the main house and into the master bedroom, but the thought of all those stairs had Cassian cringing.
So he helped himself, despite everyone’s protests, up the three steps of the front porch and through the front door, then into Nesta’s bedroom, where he slowly laid back against the blankets.
“Call if you need anything,” Feyre said, only for Rhysand to repeat the statement. She promised she would then they were off.
Cassian had already fallen asleep, Beau now laying at his feet, when Nesta padded into the washroom for a shower.
She turned the water on, turning the handle as far to the left as it would do, and waited until steam poured out over the frosted glass door and stepped in. Nesta hissed as the stream hit her back, scalding her, but also making her feel...something.
The last couple of days had been some of the worst of Nesta’s life. She had moments where she couldn’t breathe, where she could barely find the strength to keep going. Especially when she had no idea where Cassian’s life sat in limbo.
She leaned her forehead against the tile, doing her best to quiet the sob that tore from her. She had done her best to be strong while they were at the hospital. The only time she’d cried was in the waiting room and when she finally got to see that Cassian was alive and well.
And when she’d found out she was pregnant.
She’d stared at Elain, not sure if she’d heard her right, but when she repeated herself, and showed Nesta the positive pregnancy test on her scans, Nesta had started sobbing.
She’d cried because she was scared. She had no idea how to bring a child into the world, only that it hurt like hell. She’d cried because she had no idea how Cassian was going to respond. This wasn’t planned, it was the opposite. This was unexpected. She’d cried because she was shocked. She didn’t even know what to say, no words could encompass how she felt.
But mostly, she cried because she was so, so happy.
With her forehead pressed against the tile wall, Nesta pressed a protective hand over her stomach, no sign of the precious life showing inside.
She was going to be a mother.
To Cassian's child.
Cassian, who she loved, who almost left the world far too soon.
It was so incredibly overwhelming.
She stayed in the shower until her eyes dried, until there were no tears left to cry. She stayed until the water turned lukewarm and she no longer felt Cassian's blood on her skin. She stayed until she was yawning, until she longed for her own bed, lying next to him.
The water turned off and she got out and dried off before walking back into her bedroom, where Cassian laid, scrolling through his phone.
The second she walked across the threshold, his eyes raked over her naked body. Then, he said, eyes narrowed, “You were crying.”
Nesta didn’t deny it, but she walked to the other side of her bed, where her dresser was. “It’s been a long few days.”
“Yeah,” Cassian said, quietly. “Hey, come here.”
Nesta slipped on her panties before walking over to her bedside and falling onto her bed, next to Cassian. He watched her with soft, gentle eyes.
“You know you can talk to me, truthfully, about anything, right?” He asked, quietly.
“Of course.” She was thankful that months of sleeping next to each other had already obligated their sides of the bed. She was also thankful that his side was the left side, allowing her to carefully curl into his side, throw her leg over his hips and snuggle into his neck. “I’m just…processing.”
“Processing is okay,” he mumbled, turning her lips to his. “I just want to know that you’re okay.”
“I am,” she said, or will be, she thought.
Sleep.
She needed sleep.
It wasn’t five minutes later that she drifted into a deep, unyielding sleep. She slept perfectly, dreamless, which after the last few days, she welcomed a peaceful night.
She awoke, feeling rested, the next morning, thanks to the sunlight streaming in through the windows, and Beau hopping off the foot of the bed.
Nesta still laid in her panties, a thin blanket tossed over her, but she was completely alone. She shot up, panic setting in.
“Cassian?” She called, knowing full well that she was being frantic, but didn’t care, not after all that had happened.
“Calm down,” he said, deep voice floating into the bedroom. “I’m taking a piss.”
With a relieved sigh, Nesta fell back against the pillows.
He gripped the door frame as he appeared, slowly making his way back into the bedroom. “Are you okay?”
She was immediately up, rounding the bed and wrapping her arm around his good side. She took as much of his weight as she could, which wasn’t much. “I’m fine. You should have asked for help.”
“I’ve been using the bathroom by myself for twenty-seven years,” he said, groaning as she helped him settle back into the pillows. “I think I can handle it.”
“Yeah, well, you’re recovering from a bullet in your chest now, so that changes things.” She leveled a look at him and grabbed one of his ratty, old t-shirts from his designated drawer in the dresser. She padded down the hall towards the kitchen. “I’m going to make coffee, do you want some?”
“Please.” He yawned and froze, grabbing for his phone. “Shit, what time is it?”
Nesta’s voice floated from the kitchen. “Quarter after eight. We slept hard.”
He didn’t reply, because he was reading the text messages on his phone.
When she came back, mugs in hand, she still found him reading. “Everything okay?” He didn’t answer. She hurried to him, setting their coffees on the nightstand and sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. “Cassian, what is it?”
He blinked. “They… they took care of everything.”
She softly smiled. “They said they would.”
It was still surprising though. Thank the cauldron Rhys had worked for Isaac as well all those years ago, and that he knew not only what he was doing, but where everything was kept. He was also very thankful that Isaac had instilled the same work ethic into Feyre and Elain that he had in Nesta.
“They want you to rest, my love.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead before standing. “Which is exactly what you should be doing.”
She turned, heading for the bathroom herself, but he caught her wrist, tugging her back lightly. “You should be, too.”
She stood right at the edge of the bed and he leaned over pressing the gentlest of kisses to her stomach.
Nesta’s eyes softened as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Why do I feel like you’re going to be spoiling me?”
“Because I am,” he muttered against her skin, giving her another feather-like kiss.
“I don’t like to be spoiled,” Nesta muttered, grinning.
“Liar,” Cassian crooned, then leaned back against the pillows, face distorted.
Nesta took the pill bottle off the bedside table and handed him one with a bottle of water. “Take it.”
He groaned, but didn’t protest.
“I have work to do to get ready for opening day,” Nesta said. Including cleaning the stables, she thought. “If you need me, call me.”
“No, no.” Cassian held onto her. “You’re not working today either. No, you’re staying here.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m only seven weeks pregnant, Cass, not seven months. I can still do pretty much everything I was doing before I found out.”
He didn’t budge. “What if I said I wanted you to stay with me?”
“I’d say that I love you, but we have things we have to do.”
“You may not like to be spoiled but I do,” he murmured.
Nesta snorted as she walked to the dresser and pulled out shorts and a tee shirt to pull on. “I promise I’ll spoil you this afternoon.”
“You better,” he said, sighing. “Until then Beau will have to spoil me.” As if in answer, Beau let out a big yawn and rolled over to go back to sleep. “Thanks, bud. I know I can always count on you.”
Nesta chuckled and kissed his forehead. “I love you.”
“Love you.” Cassian reached for the remote control and flipped through the channels and Nesta went into the bathroom to get ready.
Thirty minutes later, travel mug in hand, Nesta opened her front door, ready to head up to the house and see what needed her attention.
And was met with two police officers.
She let out a small yelp and pressed her hand to her heart.
“Sorry, Miss,” the older cop said, gently. “Are you Nesta Archeron?”
“I… yes,” Nesta began, hesitantly.
“We’re here about the incident that happened here the other night,” the one went on, while the younger cop remained silent.
“Okay,” she said, slowly.
“May we ask you some questions?”
“Of course,” Nesta said, leaning back against the doorframe.
“Can you tell us what happened?” The older one asked.
She pursed her lips and said, “My sister’s insane ex-boyfriend crashed her wedding, got drunk, and shot my boyfriend.”
The younger of the two, flipped through his notepad. “Would that be… Cassian Nazari?”
“Was there someone else who got shot that night?”
Nesta turned, finding Cassian limping from the bedroom.
“Mr. Nazari?” He asked.
“Cassian,” he said, extending his good hand to both officers. They accepted and he said, “You find the asshole who did this to me yet?”
The older cop hesitated. “Yes, but he was let out on bail. You may be needed to testify in court, when his hearing comes, but we wanted to come get a statement-.”
“He’s not in jail?” Nesta asked, exasperated. “He fucking almost killed-“
“It’s okay,” Cassian said, softly, his hand a gentle support on her elbow. “I’ll be there.”
“Good,” the cop said. “We’ve taken your statement, Miss Archeron, and it will be filed in the report. Is there anything else you wish to be recorded?”
There’s a lot I’d like to say, Nesta thought, but she remained tight lipped and silent.
“Tamlin was trying to shoot the groom, Rhysand Lunasa,” Cassian went on. “I got hit by mistake. I’m sure you’ll be wanting a note from the surgeon, but I nearly died. He was drunk, yeah, but Tamlin knew what he was doing.”
“And Mr. Lunasa, he’s the one who performed triage until the ambulance arrived?” He asked.
“Yes,” Cassian said, nodding. “He’s an EMT.”
The older one asked, “Miss Archeron, we noticed you recently returned from living in Europe for an extended period. You don’t think this could have anything to do with the attack?”
Nesta opened her mouth to reply, but Cassian said, “That’s irrelevant. She moved her after the death of her father. This was a targeted attack that went wrong, and you should have never let him bail out.”
The younger cop froze while the older cop’s eyes narrowed. “You may want to watch your tone, boy.”
“With all due respect,” Cassian went on, “I just had to be rushed into emergency surgery because a bullet nearly hit my heart. I want my pregnant girlfriend to be able to sleep well at night, and that may be kind of hard to do with the guy that almost murdered me, and intended to murder my best friend, her brother-in-law, still walking around.”
Nesta knew that tone.
Cassian was pissed.
And he had the right to be.
The older cop’s eyes softened as he let out a sigh. “I understand your concern, but that is out of my hands. The court date is next Monday. If you need help or have concerns before then, call the station.”
“Will do,” Cassian said, voice like ice. “Have a nice day, officers.” He wrapped an arm around Nesta’s waist and pulled her back into the house, closing the door and locking it, for good measure.
She walked into the kitchen and braced her hands on the counter.
“Nes-.”
“They let him out on bail? Are you fucking kidding me?”
He limped over to the kitchen, turning her around and pulling her into his side. “I know, baby. It’s bullshit, but there’s no defense. They’ll lock him up and-.”
She shook her head and pushed on his stomach carefully. “He’ll be in the wind. He’s not going to stick around. I need to call Feyre.”
Cassian opened his mouth to protest, but then he nodded, slowly. Nesta hated to put such a damper on Feyre and Rhysand’s newlywed days, too, but this was crucial. Her sister had to know. She called Feyre, who answered on the second ring, and gave her a quick overview. For the entire phone call, Cassian stood on the threshold of the kitchen, watching, waiting, concerned.
His eyes were full of worry as he beheld Nesta.
She hated that look, that concern. Worrying about her would do him no good.
The second she hung up the phone she let out a loud, frustrated noise in the silent kitchen. Beau instantly reacted, hurrying into the kitchen to see what was the matter.
“This is so fucked up,” Nesta breathed, shaking her head vigorously. “This is so fucked up!”
“Nes,” Cassian warned.
“No,” she said, and she knew she was crying, knew she looked panicked, looked ridiculous in her current state, but she didn’t care. She sobbed, her body shaking. “This is so fucked up, Cass. They’ve been married for mere days and they have to worry about Feyre’s ex? He fucking shot you, Cass! He nearly killed you, you nearly died! I find out I’m pregnant, and you almost die.”
The look in Cassian’s eyes shattered as he attempted to take a step forward, but the meds had yet to kick in, and he had already been moving more than he should have been. “Nesta, I need you to relax, stress isn’t good for the baby-.”
“Relax?” she breathed. “What makes you think I can relax right now? He can be out there anywhere. He could be on our property!”
“He’s not though,” Cassian said, gripping the door frame, the room beginning to spin. “He’s- he’s long gone, and-.” With a deep breath, he turned and started for the bedroom. “Nes, I gotta lay down.” He held onto the wall as he walked and felt Nesta under his arm a second later. “You’re going to strain yourself.”
She asked, “Would you rather fall on your face?”
He didn’t think that warranted a response. She helped him back into bed. He fell back, a hand pressed to his wound. Nesta watched and her heart broke. “I… Cass…”
She was powerless to stop the sob that broke from her. Cassian felt powerless to help.
“Sweetheart, please.” He held his hand out to her. She shook her head.
“I don’t- I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she said, burying her face in her hands.
“You’re overwhelmed, Nes, you need to breathe.” Cassian reached out, rubbing her lower back. “Why don’t you take a warm bath?”
She shook her head. “I need to go start trying to clean-.”
“Nesta, so help me God, you’re carrying my child. You can’t be stressing out. I will call Azriel. He’ll handle it.”
She fell onto the bed, beside him, sobbing uncontrollably as he rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles. She knew he didn’t feel comforted, knew he was in pain, knew the past few days had just as much affect on him as they had on her, if not more, but he said nothing. All he did was comfort her, his love, the mother of his child.
“I need sleep,” she said, as she cried. “I need fucking wine but I can’t fucking have it anymore.”
Cassian’s hand stilled, as if he wanted to say something, but it quickly began, once more. Those small circles being drawn on her back was all that kept her from completely losing her shit.
Her sobs eventually turned into nothingness. Beau’s chin was resting on her leg as Cassian continued to rub her back. She felt guilty. She should have been the one comforting him, but she didn’t stop his soft, soothing fingers.
“Sleep,” he said. “Rest, Nesta, take a day to yourself. Stay here with me, collect your thoughts. You can start on your stuff tomorrow. For today...just relax. Please.”
She sniffled, the only sound the tv on some mindless show in the background, and nodded. “I need to make an appointment, to see my doctor.”
Cass nodded. “I’ll get your phone.” Nesta raised her head and just stared at him. “Or I’ll stay right here and let you go get it.”
“Exactly.” She rolled over and laid her hand on her stomach, looking down at it. “You’re already messing with mommy’s emotions, aren’t you?”
Mommy.
Cassian’s throat tightened as he looked at her. He couldn’t help but imagine what she was going to look like in a few months, belly rounded out, carrying his baby.
“Nes, I- I know all of this was unexpected and probably not the best timing, but…” He cleared his throat, surprised that his voice was wavering. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Ever.”
Nesta’s eyes softened as she looked up at him. “I’m happy too, Cass. You’re right...it’s not the best timing...but, I’m happy, too.”
Cassian reached up to brush her hair behind her ear. “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
“I don’t know about that,” Nesta answered, in all honesty. She had gotten used to never imagining herself as a mother, much less being a good one. “But you’re going to be one hell of a father.”
“A family,” Cassian breathed, and she recognized the look in his eyes. A family was something that Cassian never had, but wanted so desperately. “Me, you, and baby.”
“Yeah,” she whispered, and despite herself, laughed, quietly. “A family,”
“We’re going to get through this, Nes,” he said, meeting her gaze. “And when we do, it’s going to be beautiful.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” she mumbled, as she scrolled through her phone for her doctor’s number.
“And did it?” he asked. “Make you feel better?”
“A little,” she confessed, setting her phone down to meet his tired gaze.
“Stay with me today,” he begged, quietly. “Spoil me. Tomorrow, I’ll let you work your ass off...but, today, be lazy with me. Please.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip, calculating all she had to get done before the opening of the B&B next week, but she nodded, slowly. “Fine.”
Cassian smiled. “Thank you, now part one of spoiling me includes taking a relaxing bath.” He pointed to the bathroom. “Go.”
Nesta nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Okay. Then how about I make breakfast?”
Cassian chuckled. “Sounds perfect, because I’m starving.”
Nesta shook her head and climbed off the bed, stopping at her dresser for clean clothes, but Cassian said, “Oh, and part two of spoiling me is getting out of the bathtub naked, sorry, I don’t make the rules.”
Nesta rolled her eyes but didn’t protest as she went into the bathroom, stripped down, and started to fill the tub. She could hear him in the bedroom, watching something sports related on the t.v. as she sunk into the water. It filled up around her as she closed her eyes, then turned the faucet off with her toes. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, tried to push away her fears and anxieties, but it only worked so much. Nonetheless, she did her best to relax before washing herself with her favorite lavender soap and pulling the plug to let the water drain.
She dried herself off, brushed out her hair, and rubbed lotion all over her body before entering the bedroom.
Cassian was already looking at the doorway, apparently having heard her approaching.
Beau was sound asleep on the rug, snoring softly as Nesta meandered into the room.
The look in Cassian’s eyes had her toes curling.
“No physical activity,” Nesta warned. “Doctor’s orders.”
“The doctor has never seen your tits.” His voice was deeper than normal, slower, and she climbed into bed next to him, seeing his eyes glassy, she knew why.
“How do those pain meds got you feeling?” She chuckled, knowing they’d finally worked their way into his system.
He shrugged, but wrapped his good arm around her waist, pulling her against his body. His nose was in her damp hair, breathing deeply and inhaling her scent. “Like I could make you feel good.”
Nesta chuckled as she settled back into the pillow and stole the remote from him, turning it from the football highlights and flipping through channels. Cassian protested and said, “I was watching that…” Without looking at him, Nesta flipped the top half of the blanket down, exposing her bare chest. He nodded and said, “Remote is yours, yes, ma’am.”
He fell against her shoulder, his mouth finding its way against her neck. She chuckled, flipping through the stations. “Cass.”
“Hmmm,” he mumbled, tongue brushing her skin, kisses trailing down to her collarbone.
“Rest,” she ordered.
“I am,” he argued.
“You are not,” she laughed, then pushed him back by his forehead.
He frowned, then yawned. “Your tits help me relax.”
“My tits make you do the opposite of relax. I’m putting on a shirt.”
“No.” He laughed, quietly, pulling on her hand before she could move. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
She found a lifetime movie that could play in the background and laid his hand on her stomach. She curled up against him and sighed.
“What’s on your mind?” He asked, his thumb rubbing slow circles against her abdomen.
“Just…how we’re going to do all of this.” At his questioning glance, she went on. “Run a newly reopened B&B, maintain the ranch, and juggle a newborn? It’s only the two of us and we’re about to need a lot more hands. Not to mention who knows how long until you’ll be back to work.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be back at it next week. I don’t really give a shit what the doctor says, we’ve got animals that count on me.” He saw the protest in her eyes but forged on before she could interrupt. “As for the B&B, maybe we should hire a manager or an assistant for you. Something to help with the business side of it. And lastly, we’re going to have the most badass kid of all time, he’ll be helping us on the ranch before you know it.”
Nesta glanced up at him. “He?”
Cassian’s cheeks reddened, not even realizing he’d made that slip. “I’ve always wanted a boy first. I want someone I can play with, get rough with. I want a built in roping partner. I’ll be over the moon if we have a girl, don’t get me wrong. But gods, I want a boy.”
Nesta looked up at him and kissed his cheek, softly, before saying, “If it is a boy, I hope he looks just like his daddy.”
Cassian's smile was so genuine and bright and utterly beautiful that Nesta couldn’t help but kiss him, once more, slowly, tenderly, on his lips.
They laid like that for hours until morning turned into afternoon, until they both fell asleep, peacefully, wrapped in each other’s arms.
#the ranch nessian#sharacollab#shara writes#snacmc#tacmc snelbz collab#theranchnessian#nessian#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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The Ranch {16}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
Cassian stared at the broken window, his hands on his hips. Beau was groaning at his feet, fully aware that something had happened that was total shit. Nesta was cooking breakfast for the guests inside of the B&B. She decided that a daily morning breakfast would be a regular occurrence, and she wanted to make the first morning breakfast a grand occasion.
Even if she hadn’t slept at all the night before.
Every time she drifted off, she was panicking, which meant Cassian had stayed up all night comforting her. Which, he loved doing, loved being there for her, felt it was his duty to be there for her, but none of that erased the fact that he was completely, utterly exhausted.
A truck pulled up behind him and the engine turned off. A few seconds later, Azriel was standing beside him. With a whistle, he said, “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” Cassian breathed. “Just after midnight. Brick flew through the window, Nesta was screaming bloody murder, Beau nearly shot himself out the door and tore his balls off.”
“Maybe he should’ve,” Azriel muttered, stepping closer to the broken window, careful to avoid the glass shards, even though he was wearing his boots. “Tomas did this?”
“Who else would’ve?” Cassian grumbled.
Even Azriel couldn’t argue with that. “Well, let’s put some plastic over it, then I’ll bring you into town to get a new window and help put it in.”
Cassian didn’t have any plastic. If he had, he would have patched it up in the middle of the night. Instead, he had laid a thin piece of plywood over the hole.
“Probably best to just go ahead and get the window,” Cassian said with a yawn.
Azriel nodded and the two of them got in the truck, heading for the main house.
“Aside from that, how was the first night?” He asked, nodding towards the house in front of them.
Cassian blew out a breath. “Good, I think. Nobody called us about anything, but from what I can tell, nothing was done to the house.”
Just Nesta’s small house that the two of them had been occupying.
They parked in front of the big wrap around porch, heading up the stairs. A couple was sitting on porch swing, and they waved as Cassian and Az walked into the house.
There was sound everywhere, people bustling to and fro. It was almost unnerving after the silence of the house for so many months.
“Nes?” He called her name, even though he knew exactly where she was.
“Kitchen!”
Walking into the kitchen, they found the table full, both of food and people in the chairs. Nesta was still at the stove, happily stirring away at a pan of gravy while her guests stuffed themselves.
“Smells great, baby.” He pressed a kiss to her head and she smiled.
Her eyes were lit up. “Thanks. Az, are you hungry?”
“Elain fed me on the way out the door, but I might say no next time.” He was eyeing the spread of classic country breakfast on the table.
Nesta laughed, and turned to Cassian. “What’s up?”
He gently took her hand, rubbing small circles into the back of it. “We gotta go into town. I’m fixing that window today.”
He watched the color leech from her face.
“Please don’t leave me here alone.”
Cassian hesitated.
“It’s fine,” Azriel said, quickly. “Rhys has today off, I’ll pick him up on the way and we’ll get it here. I’ll let you know when we’re back.”
“Are you sure?” Nesta said, suddenly realizing that it took more than one man to get a window into the back of a truck.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Azriel said, with a genuine smile. “And, uh, now that I think about it, maybe I’ll take a biscuit to go?”
Nesta chuckled, although the light didn’t reach her eyes. She wrapped a biscuit in a napkin and handed it over, then Azriel was off.
Cassian looked around at the guests, chatting happily and stuffing their faces.
“You should be proud,” Cassian said, quietly.
Nesta nodded before turning back to the stove.
“I, um, want your blessing on something.”
Nesta froze before looking at him over her shoulder.
“Maybe we should talk alone,” Cassian went on.
She turned to look at him. “My blessing for what?”
Cassian hesitated, then sighed. “I want to go talk to Tomas.”
“No.” Nesta turned back to the stove.
Cassian gave her a look before walking away, into the laundry room that was off to the side, knowing full well she would follow. Nesta Archeron did not leave conversations unresolved.
She closed the door behind her before asking, “Why the hell would you do something stupid like that?”
“Because he threatened you,” Cassian said, through his teeth. “Because he threatened me, and our guests, and our unborn child, and he can’t do that.”
“You can’t just-.”
“I’m just going to talk,” Cassian said. “Or, I can go to the police for vandalism, but I’m going to do one of the two, it’s your call.”
Nesta crossed her arms over her chest. “I’d rather you fix the window and we pretend this never happened.”
Cassian stared at her. “I can’t do that.”
“You can’t fight your way out of this, Cass!” She said, beginning to pace in the small room. “Fighting with Tomas already ruined your roping career.”
Cassian’s jaw hardened. “I was defending you.”
“And I love you for that, but it doesn’t change the fact that what you did was stupid.” Nesta stopped and looked at him, putting her hands on his chest. “I’ve seen how good you were, you should’ve won that championship. But you didn’t. You let your anger and a stupid decision take that from you.”
Cassian sighed and said, “Make your choice: either I go to the police or he and I have a man to man talk.”
Nesta’s eyes, shimmering with frustrated tears, flicked down to his hurt shoulder. She opened the laundry room door, looking back at him, and said, “At least wait until Azriel and Rhys get back,” before shutting the door a little harder than necessary and walking back into the kitchen.
He felt guilty, but he wasn’t going to let that guilt talk him out of this. He had to talk to Tomas, had to let him know that this wasn’t okay.
Nesta had gone through enough.
She didn’t need to go through anymore.
So, he did as she asked and waited until Azriel and Rhys got back with the window before grabbing the keys without a word and driving himself into town, without so much as a goodbye to anyone.
He was seeing red.
Not only did this man make Nesta throw up out of fear at her own grand opening, but he threw a fucking brick through their window, scaring her even more, then Cassian was the one who got snapped at for wanting to correct it?
That wasn’t going to cut it.
He had finally gotten his happiness and Tomas fucking Mandray wasn’t going to take that away from him.
Cassian drove through town and to the other side, where he pulled onto the grounds of a small ranch. He spotted Tomas right away, working on a tractor just outside of the garage.
Cassian was opening the door before he even put the truck in park. “What the fuck is your problem, Mandray?”
“Don’t have a problem at all,” Tomas said, shit-eating grin on his face. “You got a problem?”
It took everything in Cassian to not hurl that brick back into his smug face. But he’d made a promise to Nesta. He was only here to talk, he wouldn’t start a fight with Tomas.
So instead, he very calmly reached into the truck, grabbed the brick off of the passenger seat, and lifted it up so Tomas could see it. “I think you left this at my girlfriend’s house.”
Cassian promised he wouldn’t start a fight with Tomas Mandray.
He didn’t say anything about finishing one.
Without another word, he launched the brick through Tomas’ workshop window.
“You fucking dick,” he yelled. “I’m going to fucking k-.”
“Heard you bought the old Carlson ranch,” Cassian interrupted. “Had to come give my congratulations.”
He swore he could see Tomas face change color as his own trick was used against him.
Cass continued, “You know, I hadn’t even heard you were back in town until just a week or two before Nesta came home.” He slammed the truck door and moved closer to the shop. Closer to Tomas. “Was that a coincidence or were you hurling bricks through her window in Paris, too?”
“Oh, fuck you.” The tone in Tomas’ voice… that was hatred. Pure and unadulterated hatred. “You think you get to come in, like some white knight? You’re saving the day again?”
Cassian wasn’t able to stop himself as he got in Tomas’ face. “You do anything to put my girlfriend or child in danger, ever again, and I will gladly reenact the ass whooping I gave you back at Worlds.”
His phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, answering it without looking, knowing who it was.
“Yes?”
“That’s enough. Whatever you’ve said, it’s enough.” She had no idea how wrong she was. It would never be enough. “Please.”
With a deep sigh, he said, “Okay. I’ll be right there.”
Nesta’s relieved voice came across the ear piece, loud and clear. “Thank you, Cass. I love you.”
He stared Tomas down, knowing he’d heard every word of their conversation, and said, “I love you, too, sweetheart.”
He hung up and slipped the phone back into his back pocket. “Don’t ever come on our property again. It’ll be the last mistake you ever make.”
He turned and was heading for the truck, when Tomas spoke up. “Has Nesta ever told you how she found out she wasn't able to have kids? Or, well, wasn’t supposed to be able to.”
Cassian froze. Mostly everyone had guessed that Nesta’s pregnancy was an accident, but her supposed infertility wasn’t a known fact.
He turned. “How the hell do you know that?”
“Who do you think was holding her hand in a Parisian women’s clinic?”
Cassian blinked. “What?”
“She didn’t leave me here, Nazari,” Tomas said, with complete satisfaction that Cassian was caught off guard. “I was with her there, too, for a little while. I was there when we found out she couldn’t have kids. I was there when she cried, when she brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal. I was the one who dried her tears. Did she tell you that?”
No.
No she hadn’t.
Cassian’s jaw locked, but he said nothing.
“You’ve been with her for months,” Tomas spat, eyes turning cold, angry. “I was with her for years. She can try all she wants to, but in the end, she always comes back to me.”
“Stop talking,” Cassian warned.
“You sound worried,” Tomas crooned, eyes lighting with satisfaction. “Jealous, even.”
Cassian took a second to think about his next move, even as that anger brewed beneath the surface. He had already broken his window, had said what he had to say, and Nesta’s words replayed in the back of his mind.
Nesta.
Who apparently hadn’t told him the entire story of her and Tomas.
“Just stay off my fucking property,” Cassian said, meeting Tomas’s gaze as he climbed back into the truck, slammed the door shut, and made his way back to the road.
He kept the radio off as Tomas’ words came back to him. Tomas’ words, not Nesta’s. She had made Cassian believe that she had left Tomas here to begin again.
He felt foolish.
He felt pissed.
He took the turn onto the property a little too quickly and fishtailed, spitting rocks in every direction from the little gravel drive.
They were all sitting on the porch, his mismatched family. Rhys was the closest, leaning against the stair railing. Azriel was by the door. Feyre sat on the railing next to her husband. And Elain, sweet Elain was sitting on the porch swing.
Holding Nesta’s hand.
Cassian parked in front of the house and cut the engine. The silence was almost as defeating as the roar of the engine had been. He got out of the truck and shut the door with a gentleness he honestly didn’t think he was capable of in that moment.
Azriel said, “Give me my keys, asshole.”
Cass threw them to him, without looking, and started heading away from the main house, towards his cabin.
“Cass?”
The sound of his name from her lips clanged through him. He didn’t stop walking.
Light footsteps on wood. “Cass!”
Rhys called, “Cass, where are you going?”
He didn’t stop.
Her voice was hurt. “Cassian…”
He couldn’t stop.
Couldn’t stop because he couldn’t bear for them to see the silent tears streaming down his face.
Beau was at his side in an instant, trailing after his master with a soft whine as he made his way down the dirt path. He cursed himself as he angrily wiped at his face, steps hurried, urgent until he made it to his cabin.
Perhaps he should have locked it, but he hadn’t, and the door swung open easily. Beau laid on the couch as Cassian stomped to the fridge and pulled out a mostly full bottle of whiskey.
Tomas had been with Nesta in France?
The thought still echoed in his mind, leaving him breathless.
She would be here soon, no doubt, demanding to know what had happened.
Cassian looked at the bottle, unscrewed the top, and downed as much of the burning liquor as he could handle. He stopped, muttered a curse, and downed some more.
Beau only watched with concern in his pleading brown eyes.
It was only a few minutes before he heard footsteps outside, but the heavy, booted stride wasn’t the one he expected.
The door opened and Azriel came in. Cassian didn’t look up from the knot in the wooden flooring as it shut and Az made his was into the living room. He sat in the chair beside the couch.
“Your pregnant girlfriend is crying her eyes out right now. Any reason you’re not up there talking to her?”
Cassian looked at him then, letting him see the tears shimmering on his own face.
“Shit,” Azriel breathed, genuine surprise written on his face. “What happened out there?”
Cassian stayed quiet for a long moment, looking down at Beau while he fiddled with the top of the whiskey bottle. Then, he asked, “Did you know that Tomas was in France? With her?”
The stricken look on Azriel’s face told him that he didn’t.
“He was there with her for years,” Cassian said, that anger returning, fueling his words. “Living with her. She fucking stayed with him, Az. Which means that I not only lost my career, my dream, for fucking nothing, but that Nesta has been lying to me for months.”
Azriel opened his mouth to say something, but his words failed him.
“I feel like an idiot,” he said, taking another sip from the bottle. “I’m not up there comforting her right now because every word that’ll come out of my mouth will be one I end up regretting.”
Azriel stayed quiet for a few more minutes. Finally, he said, “She’s scared.” Cass looked up at him. “She thinks you did something stupid, that Tomas is somewhere laying in a ditch.”
Cassian scoffed. “Glad she’s so worried about him.”
“She’s not worried about him, you dumbass,” he said, disbelief coloring his tone. “She’s worried about you going to jail.”
Cassian didn’t answer, just took another swig from the bottle.
Azriel asked, “You’re not going to talk to her?”
“Not until I can be sure I won’t say something wrong.” He ran a hand through his hair, it had come loose from the hair tie at some point. “I just need to get my head on straight.”
“She’s carrying your child,” Azriel said, incredulously.
“Right now, all indicators are pointing to me being just a sperm donor so Tomas Mandray can have his perfect fucking life with the woman I’ve been in love with since high school.”
Azriel’s hazel eyes had gone cold. “I’m going to assume that’s the booze talking, because right now, you’re acting like a fucking prick.” He stood heading for the door. “She lied to you, yes, and that’s fucked up, but she didn’t do it on purpose. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt you because she loves you.”
He didn’t say anything else as he walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.
Cassian watched him go, not caring that Azriel was right. He was acting like a prick, but he deserved to be able to act like a prick.
He wasn’t in the wrong here.
He hadn’t fucking lied.
All she had ever told him about Tomas had pointed to the fact that she dumped him after that day at the rodeo, after she found out he was cheating, after Cassian had kicked his ass. And now he finds that all he had thought was complete bullshit? Had she thought she was pregnant with Tomas’s child at some point? Was that how they had found out she couldn’t have kids? Fuck, Tomas knew she thought she couldn’t have kids, a fact that hardly anyone knows.
Cassian felt fucking stupid.
And betrayed.
He finished off the bottle and tossed the glass onto the side table with a clatter, forcing Beau on his feet, instantly alarmed. Cassian pulled himself up from the couch and swayed, nearly falling back over. He steadied himself, though, and took one step forward, trying hard to clear his vision before taking another.
Azriel thought he should talk to Nesta so badly?
Fine.
He would.
If he could fucking make it there.
Cassian threw open the front door but misjudged the front steps. He tripped, and went tumbling down the three, his shirt ripping on his back over the bent wood.
“Fuck,” he yelled, the word slurred as he laid in the grass.
He didn’t feel much pain, though.
Shoutout to the whiskey.
Whiskey was a gift, making his body numb, like he was floating on air. His eyes fluttered open and he was staring up at the clear afternoon sky. The sun was bright, not a cloud in sight.
It was a perfect day.
Full of utter shit.
With a grunt, Cassian pulled himself into sitting position and pushed himself back onto his feet. Attempting to catch his balance, he looked up toward the main house.
None of them were on the porch now, and Azriel’s truck was no longer parked where he’d left it out front. He stood, wobbling slightly, planning to head to the main house, but he sighed.
They couldn’t hash this out in front of the guests, they very first guests they’d booked. No, he wouldn’t do that to Nesta, wouldn’t embarrass her like that, or tarnish her reputation.
So he stumbled to the small house by the river, window still smashed to hell and opened the door.
He wasn’t expecting to find Nesta inside, sitting with Elain and Feyre on the couch.
He cleared his throat, trying to make his intentions clear. Beau scurried off to the bedroom.
Her sisters didn’t move an inch. Feyre even looked like she was inclined to light him on fire.
“I need to talk to Nesta,” he said, making his voice as clear as possible. Neither made a move to stand. He added, “Alone.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered, squeezing Elain’s hand in her own.
Even Elain have him a distasteful look as they passed him, out the door. Cassian closed it behind them and turned to face his girlfriend.
She lifted her chin but said nothing.
“Tell me about France,” he demanded, voice low.
“You’re drunk,” she said, then nodded to his arm. “And you’re bleeding.”
He looked down near his elbow and, sure enough, blood was trickling from a scratch, thanks to his fall down his porch stairs.
“I’m fine,” he muttered. “Now, tell me about France.”
He could see the fear in her eyes that she tried to conceal as she said, “What about it?”
The question had been replayed in his head so many times that it didn’t sound right coming out loud now. “How long was he there?”
She blinked. “Who are you talk-?”
“Don’t bullshit me, Nes.” He leaned against the kitchen counter. “How long was Tomas in France? Hmm? Cause I sure felt like a dumbass when he was throwing your infertility in my face, something your own sisters didn’t even know. Telling me how he held your hand in the clinic and dried your tears and then fucked you to make you forget.”
She’d gone pale, the blood even leaching from her lips, and Cassian thought she might be about to vomit again. “He told you?”
Cassian could feel his heart breaking in his chest, thought he might audibly hear the crack, as she confirmed what he was hoping was a last ditch effort by Tomas to lie and get under his skin. “Sure as fuck did.” He tried to stop his voice from wavering, cleared his throat before he spoke again. But it didn’t stop his voice from breaking as he said, “Why didn’t you?”
Nesta tried to speak but a sudden sob came out instead. Cassian felt guilty for making her cry, but he didn’t show it. “He was there for just under two years,” Nesta said, at last, words quiet as tears streamed down her cheeks. “He came, asking for forgiveness, begging me to take him back, saying he wanted to start again. We had a scare. I...had thought I was pregnant but when we went to the doctor, that was when I found out I couldn’t- couldn’t have kids.” The words were barely audible through her sob, through her heartache. Cassian was breathing harder, but his feet stayed planted, just within the door. “He left me after that, weeks later. I hadn’t seen him again. Not until that day we went into town and ran into him at the hardware store.”
Cassian had nothing to say. She was the one crying, but Cassian just felt numb.
Nesta took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sor-.”
“You lied to me,” Cassian breathed. “I’m the father of your child, and you fucking lied to me.”
“Cass, don’t-.”
“Stop,” he said, but there was no bite in his voice, only exhaustion from the whiskey, from the lies.
He turned to take a step toward the door, but Nesta was on her feet, her eyes narrowing. Her voice was quiet when she snapped, “Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me.”
Cassian stilled, slowly looking up to meet her gaze. “Seriously? You’re a fucking liar, Nesta! I gave everything to you! Even before you knew I existed, I gave everything to you! I don’t care that he was there, Nesta, if you wanted to repeat your mistakes, over and over again, that’s on you, but you lying about it to me? Making me think it never happened? Well, shit, Nes, if you’re always gonna go back to him, what the fuck am I even doing here?”
“Stop,” she seethed.
“When are you gonna get bored with me and go back to that trash?” He knew it was the alcohol speaking, but he couldn’t stop himself. “It seems to be a trend of yours.”
“You’re being an ass-.”
“Is he gonna be the one my kid calls dad, huh?” Cassian spat, and Nesta froze, her face paling, once more. “Or, were you lying to me about all that, too? Maybe Tomas is his dad, maybe you were fucking him-.”
Nesta’s hand came at his face so quickly that he couldn’t collect himself before her open palm came forcefully in contact with his cheek.
He couldn’t believe the words had come out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe he’d said them aloud. But he refused to see himself as the sole problem in the situation. He may not have been able to hold his tongue, but she was the one who had kept the truth from him.
That slap had all but sobered him up and he needed to go.
He didn’t say a word as he turned from her, walked into the back bedroom and start grabbing his shit, throwing it into a backpack he’d found in the closet.
“Are you leaving me?”
Her voice came from the doorway, and when he turned to look at her, the sadness on her face nearly brought him to his knees. Instead he continued to pack up his bag, grabbing necessities he couldn’t get from main house. “No. Of course not. But I’m staying in the cabin tonight.”
She begged, “Cassian, please-.”
“I can’t stay here tonight,” he said, voice breaking. “I’m going to keep saying things I’m going to regret. And I’m-.” He closed his eyes, fighting the moisture he felt threatening to spill over again. He couldn’t stop the break in his voice. “I’m so fucking hurt, Nesta. You, of all people, you lied to me. I need time to myself, to think.”
He ignored her protests, ignored her tears as he hauled the bag over his shoulder and left, hurrying past Elain and Feyre, who had been waiting on the porch, no doubt hearing every word he’d said. He strode into the cabin and threw the bag down before he started jogging down the path that led to the stables. Behind the stables was an old shed, which he pushed open with his shoulder.
His wood working supplies and a heap of wood laid just inside. He used to do it more, his wood working, before Isaac died, when he’d had more time. He’d sold quite a bit of the furniture he’d made through the years, leaving him with one hell of a savings.
He loved it.
And he was good at it.
And it took his mind off things.
And right now, there was only one thing on his mind.
He worked throughout the night, taking his aggression out on the wood, hacking and chipping and carving and sawing.
He didn’t even know what he was making until it took form in front of him. He just let the wood find itself in his skilled hands.
When the sun was breaking over the trees, he walked back to the cabin, carrying the piece in his arms. He was surprised to find Beau dozing on the front porch, locked out. “What are you doing out here, bud?” He asked, leaning down to scratch behind his soft ears. Beau whined at the door.
He opened the door and immediately knew why Beau had been forgotten outside.
Nesta was asleep on his couch, one of his team roping hoodies swallowing her. He softly closed the door and walked around the room, setting the piece on the wooden coffee table with a thud.
Nesta’s eyes opened and she blinked a few times, before her eyes focused on Cassian.
And then on the small, wooden cradle he’d set down on the table.
Nesta’s eyes slowly trailed up to Cassian’s as she brought her knees up to her chest. “What is this?”
“A bassinet,” Cassian said, his voice low, “and an apology.”
Nesta slowly reached out her fingers to brush along the smooth surface. It was flawless. Her lips parted as she took a deep breath.
“I’m not going to pretend I’m not pissed, Nesta,” he continued, his hands in his pockets, “but I didn’t mean the things I said. I was drunk and I was mad, but I was wrong to say the things that I did.”
She nodded, subtly, still staring at the cradle. Her eyes lined with silver. “It’s beautiful, Cassian.”
She still wouldn’t look at him.
His jaw tightened. He hated making her cry, but this wasn’t a conversation that they could sweep under the rug. He sat down next to her, not quite touching her, but also not far away.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, voice quiet.
He would keep his temper in check, he had no choice not to.
She just continued to brush her finger along the smooth, curved edge. “Where did you get this?”
“I made it.” There was no bragging, no pride.
“You…made it?” Her voice was incredulous. “How?”
He stood and held it out his hand to her. “I’ll show you.”
He lead her down the path, past the stables and to the workshop. He shoved the door aside and Nesta’s eyes didn’t know where to look first. “Cass…”
“Nesta, please.” His voice broke again. She turned to look at him, leaning against the open door frame, seeing the man in front of her, the man she loved, more broken than he’d ever been. His eyes were lined with silver. “Is there something you need to tell me?”
Nesta’s shoulders sagged as she looked away from him, eyes drifting around his little workshop. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Tomas in Paris. No one knew, because… because I was ashamed of it.”
Her words were near silent, but they filled the little shed. Cassian said nothing, and she didn’t dare look at him again as she went on. “I should have told you. And I’m sorry you had to hear about it from him. But you know, now, Cass. All of it, all my secrets. I continuously went back to a shitty, mentally abusive relationship because that’s what I thought I deserved for so long.”
Cassian couldn’t help the tear that fell from his eye. He blamed it on the fact that he’d gotten drunk and stayed up all night, that he was too old for that shit, but he knew that wasn’t why.
“I have always feared how much you love me,” she whispered. “Since the moment I met you… You’ve been so passionate, so genuine, and I didn’t know how to handle that. Then I learned that you were the one that beat up Tomas for cheating on me… I knew I shouldn’t have gone back to him, Cass, knew I shouldn't have taken him back when he showed up in Paris, but I was weak. And I didn’t care, you know? I didn’t care if I got into a relationship that wasn’t…ideal. I stayed with him because I deserved it after all I’d done throughout the years. My family didn’t talk to me. I pushed everyone away, for the most part. But Tom? He was my only consistency. After he left in Paris, though, I was done. I was content on being alone. And I always feared him, a little bit, even before I knew I had real reason to. He’s a cruel man, and I have had nothing to do with him for years.” She turned to meet him, then, her pale cheeks red and blotchy. “This baby is yours, and yours alone. Half you, half me. Tomas is dead to me, Cass. He haunts my dreams and plagues my memories, but he is not a part of my life or my future.”
Cassian didn’t speak. Nesta knew he was processing, knew he hadn’t ignored her confession, that he was turning it over and over in his head. So instead of interrupting him, instead of distracting him, she began to walk through his shop. There were things of every shape and size, from a towering wardrobe to the tiniest, most detailed figurines. She saw chairs, and platforms, pallets and easels. There were different tools used to shape and sand and manipulate the wood into whatever shape he wanted.
Her fingers were skimming across the surface of an unfinished kitchen table with thick, rustic legs, when Cassian’s voice came from right behind her. “You two are the most important things in my life.” She turned expecting to find him by the door, but he was in the heart of the workshop with her. “I said some shit that I didn’t mean, and I’m sorry.” He tucked some of her loose hair behind her ear. “I was hurt and drunk and confused and…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Nesta. I love you and I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know,” she breathed, reaching up to cup his face in her hands. “I am, too.”
He leaned down and kissed her, softly, her arms wrapping around his neck as he did so.
“I promise to be truthful,” Nesta said, running her hands down his broad arms. “Always. Every day.” Her fingers stopped and grazed the cut on his arm, just above his elbow.
Cassian chuckled, surprising her. She looked up to meet his gaze, his tired eyes lit with amusement.
“I fell down my porch stairs yesterday,” Cassian mumbled.
Nesta, eyes still misty, broke out in a grin. “Your feet are too big to walk on when you’re drunk.”
“You know what they say about big feet,” Cassian said, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“They come with a cocky attitude?” Nesta asked, her arms resuming their position, hands clasped behind his neck.
Cassian laughed, breathlessly. “Close enough.”
He lifted her up against him, taking a few steps back until he was setting her on an empty spot on his workshop table. His rough hands ran down her thighs as he kissed her again, his teeth tugging gently on her bottom lip.
“I have to go make breakfast for the guests,” she said, quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment, but knowing her duties.
“What time?” he asked.
“Eight,” she said, quietly.
Cassian pulled his nearly-dead phone out of his pocket before shoving it right back in, his lips finding her neck. “That’s an hour from now.”
She laughed, but leaned her head back, giving him better access. Even then, she said, breathlessly, “One more day. Doctor’s orders.”
His hand wove into her hair, tilting her head down. He said, “Fuck the doctor’s orders,” and kissed her, hard, pulling her body against his.
Her arms tightened around his neck.
The hand that wasn’t tugging on Nesta’s hair lifted the hem of his sweatshirt she wore. His fingers skimmed along her back, every pass going lower and lower...
She wasn’t wearing anything beneath the hoodie.
He pulled back, eyes wide in surprise.
Her lips were swollen from his kisses, but he could see her cheeks redden. “I might have been planning to apologize myself. Yours was just better.”
“I don’t know, yours looks pretty good…” he mumbled, his thumbs brushing over her peaked nipples as he palmed her breasts. “The fact that you’re wearing nothing but boots right now is, like, the center of every fantasy I’ve ever had.”
Nesta laughed quietly as she wrapped her legs around Cassians waist and pulled him into her. She tugged on his shirt until his chest was bare and her fingers were exploring him hungrily.
They skimmed over that red, angry scar, barely eliciting a reaction from him. Just a slight pull of air through his teeth.
“Does it still hurt?” The words were a whisper, the early morning quiet this far from the city.
He shook his head. “No. It’s actually pretty numb now, just sore sometimes.” He took her hand, gently pressing the palm down over his chest, rather than her fingers above. She could feel the steady beat beneath his skin. “This is the only thing I feel there now. And it’s yours.”
A slow smile captured her lips as she kissed him, passionately, her mind empty of all thoughts except for one: how much she loved this man before her. Even with all of his imperfections, his anger being at the top of that list. But she knew that he loved her just the same.
With hasty fingers, she undid the button that held up his jeans, fully aware of how hard he’d become.
It had been a while.
Too long.
The low groan that escaped his throat as she undid his zipper told her as much.
He reached between them, wanting to work her slowly, to have her falling apart on his hand, to…
“You’re already soaked, sweetheart,” he breathed.
As if it were explanation enough, she tossed her head back and said, “I need you, Cass.”
That was enough for him.
He surprised her though, not by roughly slamming his cock inside her, like she expected - and wanted, truthfully - but by dropping to his knees and feasting on her.
The moan that left her was louder than it should have been. Anyone in the area would have known precisely what they were doing. But neither of them could really be bothered by anything taking place outside of the small workshop.
Within those walls, it was just the two of them, and that was all that mattered.
His tongue swept between her folds, hungrily, and found her clit with desperate expertise. With her slender fingers tangling into his hair, Nesta’s body clenched, overwhelmed by the pleasure he was giving her.
If this was the way they made up, perhaps they should fight more often, Nesta thought. Over something small, miniscule, but she’d make a scene if this was the outcome.
She whispered his name into the silence, putting every emotion she could fathom into the syllables, that one word. Cassian gripped her ass, pulled her closer into his mouth. His fingers would surely leave marks, ones she gladly welcomed. Her legs wrapped around his neck, her boots hanging down his back, the thick, worn leather grazing his bare skin.
He worshipped her with his tongue, touching and biting and kissing until Nesta was a whimpering mess.
Her back arched and she groaned, the words rushing out of her on a heavy breath. “Cassian, gods, please, don’t stop.”
He obeyed, one of his thumbs rubbing slow, torturous circles on her clit while he fucked her with his tongue. He groaned as she shuddered, her legs like a vice around his head, his name like a reverent prayer, repeated over and over again.
She was on the edge, hardly managing to hold on as Cassian's mouth fell away, leaving her suddenly cold and bare, and just as she was about to protest, he was thrusting his cock into her, being anything but gentle. His pace was quick, steady, rough, his hands still holding onto her ass as his head fell back, his long, damn hair hanging loosely, brushing along his shoulders as his eyes rolled back into his head.
Nesta leaned back, trying to find something to hold onto as he shook her body with his, leaving her off balance. She found nothing but the hard table beneath her, but Cassian's grip tightened against her skin as he cursed, brutally, beautifully.
“Fuck, I’ve missed your body,” he said, panting heavily. He looked down, watching as she unraveled around him. Her breasts shook and Cassian couldn’t take his eyes off of them.
Nesta leaned back on her elbows, letting her head roll back. “Baby. Hold on, wait, wait,” she said, sitting up and gently pushing his chest.
He froze, loosening the grip on her ass, but holding her tighter to him. “What? Are you okay?”
She pushed him back and he shuffled back, jeans still around his legs. She hopped off the table and turned around, rising up on her toes and lifting her ass. She looked over her shoulder at him, wiggling slightly.
Cassian nearly came at the sight of her in those boots, bent over his work bench, everything on display for him.
He hesitated, but not because he didn’t want to, but because he wanted to drink the sight in before him for as long as possible.
But she was waiting.
And he wouldn’t make her wait.
He took her ass into his hands and positioned himself just right before pushing himself into her, slowly. A long, quiet moan fell from her body as her back arched and her ass lifted further, and Cassian reached around her, one hand finding her breast, the other rolling a slow, taunting finger over her clit as he found a slow, steady pace, thrusting his cock into her. He breathed in her scent as his teeth found the back of her neck, nipping at her skin.
“I love you so much,” Cassian breathed, resting his forehead between her shoulder blade. He pressed soft kisses up her spine until his mouth was by her ear. “Fuck, marry me, Nesta. Be my wife. Make me the happiest fucking man in the world.”
She gasped lightly and reached backwards, grabbing for his hip. He slowed and stopped, cock filling her as he paused with his hips flush to her ass, and she looked back at him, whispering, “What did you say?”
He brushed the loose hairs off her face and caressed her cheek softly. “Marry me, sweetheart. Not because of the baby, not because I think it’s the right thing to do. But because I love you. I will never love anyone the way I love you. It doesn’t have to be right now, it doesn’t even need to be soon after the baby comes, just…” He pressed another kiss to the middle of her back. “Say you’ll marry me, Nesta.”
Her breathing was ragged as she swayed her hips, a gentle movement that forced a moan to fall from his lips, muffled against the skin of her back.
“Of course I’ll marry you,” she breathed. “There’s nothing I want more. Soon, later, whenever. Yes, yes, yes.”
He kissed her neck, and down her spine as the breaths she took grew shaky, pulling out slowly as he did so. Then he slammed his hips into hers and she cried out his name as that pace resumed, his mind a mess of beautiful things and chaotic emotions that could only be brought on by the woman before him.
His future wife.
“I’m close,” he grunted, his fingers digging into her hips. “I want you to come with me, baby.” She whimpered, her head resting atop the table. “Let me feel that perfect pussy come on my cock.”
“Please, Cassian, please,” she panted. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Her knees began to quiver and Cass slipped his hand around, furiously rubbing her clit and it was only a matter of seconds before she was shattering around him, his name falling from her lips in a breathy moan.
Cassian’s heart was pounding inside of his chest as he spilled himself inside of her, his eyes falling shut as his head fell between her shoulder blades, his breath heavy, hot, against her skin as he moved in her, riding it out. For a moment, neither of them said a word, neither of them moved. The silence was filled with panting breaths and soft curses.
Nesta could feel his heart thrumming against her back, wild and alive.
Her knees still shook, ever-so-slightly, and when he pulled himself out, she had to bite her lip from whimpering from the absence of him. Cassian gently pushed on her hips so that she'd turn to face him, and when she did, his hands met her abdomen in a gentle, tender touch. Then he met her gaze, and his hazel eyes were soft, thoughtful, not at all like they had been only moments before - wild, reckless.
He kissed her, slowly, and whispered against her lips, “I love you.”
Her arms wrapped around him, burying her face in his chest. “I love you, too.”
They cleaned up in silence, Cassian helping her pull the oversized sweatshirt back over her head. They were walking back towards the cabin when Nesta yawned and said, “I need to go make breakfast.”
Cassian kissed her forehead and said, “Go sleep. I’ll handle basic breakfast and let the guests know that we’ll be unavailable today.”
She nodded and rose up on her toes, kissing him. He watched her walk down the path before he turned and made his way up to the house. As he got closer he took a deep breath and realized he was smelling bacon cooking.
He entered through the back door, finding Feyre and Elain feeding the guests. He blinked. “Uh, good morning.”
Feyre refused to look at him. Elain sighed and asked, “Did you two make up?”
He looked at the clock above the stove. “Just spent the last hour and a half doing just that, yeah.”
“Gross,” Feyre mumbled, but she shot Cassian a smirk and he knew that he’d been forgiven.
Yesterday would not be forgotten. No, it was a very important moment in the story of who they were, but it was a day that would be treated as a lesson.
It was also the day that Nesta agreed to be his wife. But they didn’t need to know that yet.
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The Ranch {10}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
A/N: enjoy!
The Ranch Masterlist
Cassian threw open the closet in the bedroom of his cabin. Sure, he’d spent quite a bit of time on minuscule dates and hanging out at the bar through the years, but it had been a while since he’d taken a woman out on a proper date.
And here he was, about to take Nesta, a fucking gourmet chef, to dinner. With an hour before he was supposed to “pick her up”, he still had no idea where they were going. He’d run through the list of restaurants in their little town a hundred times through his head as he went through his work that day, but none of them seemed good enough.
What also didn’t seem good enough were the shirts he was staring at. Maybe he’d just stay in what he was already wearing - the towel around his waist. She seemed to prefer him in such, anyways, considering the night they had spent together the day before.
And what a damn fantastic night it had been.
No, Cassian wanted their date to be perfect.
Once again, he stared at the line of shirts hanging in his closet.
He groaned and dragged his hand down his face before he walked across the room and texted Elain.
You busy?
He waited a minute, no reply to his text, and he was both impatient and short on time.
So he called her.
“You couldn’t even wait for me to text you back and tell you that I’m not busy?” Her voice was full of laughter as she answered the phone.
“Sort of in a rush and also freaking out,” he said, beginning to pace.
She was instantly on red alert. “What? Why? Are you okay?”
He shook his head, realizing he’d worried her for no reason. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m taking your sister out on a date tonight and I have no idea what to wear.”
He was met with silence on the other line.
“Elain?”
“I’m here, I’m...trying to make sense of what you just said.” She stuttered a second. “You said you’re taking Nesta on a date tonight?”
“Yes.”
“My sister, Nesta?”
“Yes,” Cassian said, with no chill. “And I’m in a hurry.”
“Taking Nesta out makes you cranky,” Elain muttered. “Okay, I’m here, what is it you need?”
“I don’t know what to wear.”
Another stretch of silence.
Cassian sighed, impatiently. “Elain.”
“Sorry,” she said, tone laced with laughter. “I just...You’re worried about what you’re going to wear?”
“Everything I have looks the same,” he mumbled.
“Then wear one of your fifty plaid shirts,” she laughed. “And your one pair of nice jeans.”
“Really?” He asked, grabbing one of his more expensive shirts from the closet. “But I wear this every day-.”
“She’s seen you everyday and has she ever had a problem with it?” she interrupted.
“I- No,” he admitted. “What kind of food does she like? I asked her to dinner and then I realized that she’s a chef and that nothing around here would be up to her standards.”
Elain paused, but finally said, “Do you trust me?”
Cassian hesitated, unable to hide the question in his voice. “Usually?”
She chuckled. “I’m going to send you an address. Don’t look it up, just trust me, okay?”
He blinked. Well, it was a better idea than he had. “Okay, sure. Yeah, I won’t look it up.”
Elain squealed. “Yay! Alright, stand by. I’ll text it to you now.”
Cassian breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Lainy, you have no idea how grateful I am.”
He could tell she was being genuine when she said, “Anything I can do to help! You both deserve to be happy, to have someone to cherish you and treat you right.” She sighed. “How’d you convince her to finally go out with you?”
Cassian debated on beating around the bush, but knew their families would find out anyways. “We, uh, sort of hooked up last night.”
Not to his surprise, he was met with more silence.
This time, Cassian waited it out. He put his phone on speaker then dropped his towel.
“And by hooked up, you mean…”
“Sex?” Cassian supplied, pulling on his boxers. “Yeah, and it was-.”
“I don’t wanna know.” The words rushed out of Elain so quickly that Cassian knew her cheeks were turning pink.
Cassian chuckled. “Fine. But, it was nice.”
“Were you drunk?” Elain asked, hesitantly.
Cassian rolled his eyes. “No. And she was still there when I woke up this morning, so.”
“Wow, I-.” She paused and repeated, “Wow. You know you’re supposed to take her out before you sleep with her, right?”
“Oh, ha ha.” He said, stepping into his jeans and buttoning them up. His voice was wistful at first. “I can’t help it, I just had to have her. And she actually made the move this time, not me.”
“I still don’t want to know,” she said, laughing. “Have fun, make good choices.”
“I’ll try,” he promised before saying goodbye and tossing the phone onto his bed. A moment later, when he was buttoning up his shirt, her text came through with an address.
He had no idea where she was sending them, and he was almost too scared to look it up, even if he hadn’t promised. After brushing out his hair with his fingers, he tied it at the back of his head and pulled on some socks, then his boots, and sighed.
“Beau!”
Beau came hurrying into the bedroom and up onto the bed, wagging his tail.
“How do I look?” Cassian asked, brows raised.
Beau barked.
“I assume that means you approve. Alright,” he said, grabbing his wallet off his nightstand and shoving it into his pocket. “I’ll be back in a little while. Don’t chew up anything...that’s not already chewed up, okay?”
He gave Beau a quick belly rub before strutting toward the front door.
He grabbed his keys and drove over to Nesta’s, hopping out and knocking on her door.
It only took a second for the door to swing open and Cassian’s mouth began to water.
The blue dress she wore was nothing fancy. On the contrary, it was its simplicity that let Nesta’s beauty shine.
Her golden-brown hair was in a simple braid, her brown sandals showing off her painted toenails. A soft pink, the same shade she wore on her full, beautiful lips.
She raised her brows as she said, “You’re staring. You’ve seen me every day for a while now. You can’t stare.”
“I can and I will,” he protested, meeting her eyes. “And it’s not the first time I’ve been caught staring at you.”
Nesta rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag off the hook by the door. “Where are you taking me?”
She stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her as he hesitated. “Uh, it’s a surprise.” To us both.
She laughed quietly but said nothing more as they descended the stairs. Cassian opened the passenger side door and held out his hand to help her up, but she ignored it and hauled herself inside. With a chuckle, Cassian closed the door behind her and made his way behind the wheel before making his way down the long driveway.
Once they were out onto the main road, Cassian said, “You look beautiful.”
She didn’t look over at him as a small smile played on those pink lips. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad, either.”
Cassian grinned and turned on the radio, soft music filling the truck. He had already put the address into his GPS, but kept the volume down. He glanced at his phone every few seconds to make sure he was going the right way. The last thing he wanted was for Nesta to ask why he needed directions to know where they were going. What would his reply be? Oh, I called your sister because I was freaking the fuck out, thanks for asking, no big deal.
It was a conversation he wanted to avoid.
“What all did you do today?” he asked. “I didn’t see you around.”
“I was in the main house, prepping for painting,” she said, nodding. “That place needs to be updated before any guests start coming in. So, I taped, covered the carpets in plastic, and moved all furniture to the middle of the floors. Which, I should probably get a few new things there, too. I swear we grew up on shit made in the 1950s.”
Cassian snorted, then looked her direction. “You should’ve asked for help. I could’ve helped with the heavy lifting.”
She rolled her eyes. “I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own, thank you.”
Cassian shook his head as his eyes went back on the road ahead of him. “Trust me, I know.”
Her amused grin was radiant. “What about you? Any fun ranch stuff today?”
“Ranch stuff?” He chuckled. At her own laughter, he continued, “Nothing too crazy. Mostly made sure there was enough hay left for the horses over the weekend. And checked on Barb. She’ll be having her calf any day.”
“What? Really?” She turned to him. “It’s way too late in the year for calves.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I’m keeping such a close eye on her.”
His phone lit up, alerting him that they were approaching their destination. He looked around and chuckled, shaking his head. Leave it to Elain.
He pulled into the little parking lot of an old diner. The sign that read The Starlight Diner was lit up in neon lights. He parked in front of the little building before looking at Nesta to see her reaction.
She was staring at the diner before she turned to him. “You talked to my sister, didn’t you?”
Cassian hesitated, and she laughed. “We used to go here all the time,” she said, shaking her head. “I used to love this place. I can’t tell you how many milkshakes I’ve downed within these walls. And the chili cheese fries? I mean, there’s nothing like them.”
Cassian had been to the diner before, but not since high school. It used to be a popular hangout, one they went to after they won a big game or smoked too much pot under the bleachers.
“So you’re telling me,” Cassian began, turning off the engine. “That a woman who became a famous chef in Paris likes to go to ancient diners and drink milkshakes and eat chili-cheese fries?”
“Yes,” she said, simply. Then she smiled, softly. “Shall we?”
Cassian, completely speechless and a little bit turned on, opened his door and met her on her side of the truck as she got out. They went inside and sat at a table by the window. Old music was playing and waitresses were going about their business on roller skates.
“So, I assume you already know what you want,” Cassian began, flipping open his menu. “And I assume it’s more than a milkshake and chili-cheese fries.”
Nesta was glancing around the restaurant, looking for someone or something, but she didn’t miss a beat when she answered. “Bacon cheeseburger, with extra pickles, chili-cheese fries, vanilla milkshake, with no cherry, and a water.”
He raised an eyebrow, and let his menu fall shut. “I know what I’m ordering.” She laughed and he felt like his heart was going to burst. The sound of her laughter was quickly becoming one of his favorite things. “So why no cherry? Are allergic, or what?”
She scrunched her nose as she moved the silverware around in front of her. “I used to drink the Shirley Temples made with the cheap grenadine. You know the one that’s pretty much just cherry snow-cone syrup?”
Their server came to the table at that moment and took their drink order. They both know what they wanted, but neither was in a rush. She promised to return with their waters and to get their food order in just a moment and they fell right back into conversation.
“Long story short, one night we went to dinner and I had four or five of them.” She laughed and shook her head. “Neither mom or dad noticed how many I’d had, which was awesome to me. I was only allowed to have two before I had to switch to water. When we got home, I got so, so sick. They freaked out because it was dark red and they thought I was bleeding internally.” She began laughing even harder. “Neither of them told me that was what they were worried about, and I wasn’t about to tell on myself. They took me to the hospital and I finally told one of the nurses. Nineteen years and a sixteen hundred dollar hospital bill later, and I hate cherry and cherry flavoring now.”
Cassian just stared at her, barely registering when the waitress came back and gave them their waters. And then he began howling.
The waitress looked at him like he was crazy and mumbled that she’d be back in just a minute for their orders.
“So you were a rebellious child,” Cassian said, laughter dying down but his smile remaining.
“Considering that’s the most rebellious thing I’d ever done, I’d say not,” Nesta said, chuckling. “No, Feyre was the rebellious one, which I’m sure you already know. Elain was the perfect one. And I….I don’t know. I was just there.”
“That’s impossible,” Cassian said. “Give yourself a little more credit.”
She shrugged, and a shadowy look crossed her face that had Cassian clearing his throat. “Well, you didn’t miss out on rebellion. Coming from someone who landed himself in the local jail fifteen times his senior year in high school, alone.”
That look in Nesta’s eyes faded as she shook her head, humored. “Fifteen times? In under a year?”
“Yeah, I swear at some point the cops just started following me when they were bored until I did something they could call me out on,” he laughed. It was a little town. The crime rate was low. “Shoplifting a few times. Mostly underage drinking. One time they caught me peeing into the dumpster behind the corner market. Which, I was drunk then, too….Actually, that night was rough.”
Nesta laughed as she rolled her eyes. “Good thing to know such a classy man has taken me to dinner.”
Cassian’s grin widened. “You live, you learn.”
Nesta nodded her agreement. “What about your parents? Weren’t they furious?”
Cassian’s eyes softened as he said, “Don’t know my dad. My mom died while I was in middle school, lived with Rhys and his mom after that. And, yes, she gave me hell every damn time. But, she always came to pick me up and break me out.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, but he was already waving her off.
“Don’t be,” he shrugged. “From what my mom told me of my dad, he wasn’t the greatest guy. Found out she was pregnant from one of his friends and skipped town. He was a bull rider, and he jumped on the rodeo tour and she never saw him again. And my mom…” he blew out a deep breath. “We should probably save my mom for a less depressing conversation.���
Nesta nodded, completely understanding.
“But Rhys’ mom was great,” he went on, taking a sip from his water. “I love that woman.”
The waitress came back and Nesta ordered.
Cassian said he’d have the same, but with a chocolate shake, then she was off.
“So,” Cassian went on, leaning his elbows on the table. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
Nesta took a moment to think. “After last night, I think you know everything there is to know.”
Cassian smirked. “About some things, maybe. But tell me something I don’t.”
Nesta chewed on her lip, mind going completely blank. Everything either seemed too personal or not personal enough.
“I can’t whistle,” She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know, this is one of the things I hate about dating. This whole interview process.”
“How about this,” he smiled. “Tell me about your favorite thing in the world.”
He was expecting her to start telling him about cooking, about how she’d ended up in Paris, Rome, London, all the places he’d seen when he did a quick google of her name. But she surprised him.
“Riding horseback,” she said, eyes bright.
Cassian raised a brow. “Riding? That’s your favorite thing in the world?”
“Does that surprise you?” She asked, leaning back in the booth.
“Yeah, a little,” he confessed.
She stirred her water with her straw, watching the ice cubes spin around in her glass. “It was my one escape growing up. The one thing I could do that didn’t result in a sneer from my mother and a lecture about my future from my father.” She sighed. “I used to ride Phoenix for hours to just...get out of the house. Have you ever ridden back on the hills to the west of the property?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean the property that isn’t ours, that’s marked No Trespassing?”
Their waitress brought their milkshakes to the table. There was a bright red cherry on top of Nesta’s, but before she could say anything, Cassian snatched it up and popped it into his mouth. She rolled her eyes, thanked the waitress, and took a huge sip. Her eyes slipped closed instantly and she moaned quietly. “Oh my god, I can’t get a milkshake like this anywhere else.”
She opened her eyes to find him watching her, and when her tongue peeked out to get the little bit of melted ice cream left on her bottom lip, his eyes tracked the motion. They were dark, the shining hazel almost completely swallowed by his pupils.
Without a word, Cassian pulled something from between his teeth and dropped it on the table between them.
The stem from her stolen cherry was tied in a knot.
Nesta said, “That’s both hot and cheesy as hell.”
Cassian’s low laugh skittered across her skin. “You already know what my tongue can do, but I thought I’d give you a little reminder, just in case you somehow forgot already.”
Nesta swallowed. No, she definitely hadn’t forgotten what his perfect mouth could do, but she had forgotten how to speak, especially when he was looking at her the way he was.
He plucked the cherry from his own milkshake, eating the cherry - sans stem, this time - and motioned for Nesta to continue. “So, what about the land that we do not own, Miss I was never rebellious?”
His imitation of her was spot on.
Nesta pursed her lips and said, “Yeah, that land is ours.”
He dropped his spoon, splattering the table in chocolate ice cream droplets. “What?”
She took another drink of her milkshake, not moaning this time, thank the Cauldron, and nodded. “It’s only another few acres. I knew the previous owners. Armand and Colette Lavigne.” The way she said their names, with such familiarity and adoration, Cassian knew she must have spent a lot of time with them. “They were from the Bordeaux region of France. They moved here in their fifties to open a vineyard.” She chuckled, shaking her head. “They didn’t do any research and had no idea the soil here wasn’t good for wine. But they fell in love with the area. And they’re the ones who taught me to love cooking.” She smiled fondly, her eyes misting slightly. “I bought it when Colette passed a few years ago and Armand returned to Floirac. He didn’t want it to go to someone who would just sell it for profit and turn it into another apartment complex or a shopping mall. It's been my land for about four years, but I finally signed the deed to have it put in my name, rather than Armand’s, when I signed the ranch’s deeds.”
Cassian blinked, processing the information, slowly. Then he said, loudly enough to earn a scowl from the elderly couple two booths down, “What the fuck? I’ve been purposely avoiding that land, and now you’re telling me I should’ve been working it?”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “No. Not yet, anyway. I haven’t decided what I want to do with it yet.”
Cassian was slowly shaking his head. “I have a feeling you’re never going to stop surprising me.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” She asked.
He smiled at her. “No, it isn’t.”
They fell into a comfortable silence. Nesta finally asked, “Have you even tried your milkshake yet, or are you just going to keep stirring it?”
He pointed his sticky spoon at her and took a big sip through his straw. He pulled back, staring at the thick liquid. “That’s pretty damn good.”
“Pretty damn good?” She repeated, shaking her head. “It’s fucking delicious.”
“You’re fucking delicious,” he muttered, taking another drink from his straw.
Nesta’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink, which only made Cassian's small smile turn into a wicked grin.
Before she could come up with a retort, a display of beautiful, greasy food was laid out before them. Burgers and chili-cheese fries.
As the waitress turned to leave, Nesta said, “Excuse me, but is Alis still here?”
“Oh, no, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” she said, and Nesta nodded. “She’ll be back in for the morning shift tomorrow, though.”
“Okay, perfect. Thank you.”
The woman smiled warmly and left them to enjoy their burgers.
“Alis?” Cassian asked, eyeing the massive plate of food in front of him and its twin in front of Nesta, then her tiny form. There was no way she’d be able to eat everything in front of her.
Nesta already had a forkful of hot, cheesy fries and was diving in. She closed her eyes and made a contented noise. She took a drink of her water, setting it down before answering. “She owns the Starlight. I came here so much that she and I became pretty close. When I…” Ran away. “Left town, I stopped in for a cup of coffee, trying to talk myself out of leaving. Alis is the one who pushed me to follow my dreams. She even paid for my bus ticket out of town.”
“Really?” Cassian asked, popping a fry into his mouth. “She sounds nice.”
“She is,” Nesta agreed. “One of the best this town has to offer. Now, look away because I’m about to bite into this burger and it’s not going to be attractive whatsoever.”
Cassian didn’t look away and Nesta, eyes on his, took a massive bite out of her bacon cheese burger.
He blinked, and she covered her mouth as her eyes lit up at his expression.
“I can honestly say I’ve never been so attracted to you,” he said, taking his burger into his hands. Before he took a bite, he asked, “So, Alis is the one that pushed you out of town, huh?”
Nesta nodded, taking another bite and swallowing before saying, “If it wasn’t for her that day, I probably would have stayed here, ended back up with Tomas, and lived to regret every fucking day that followed. So, I am very grateful to Alis.”
Cassian hadn’t pressed Nesta anymore on the subject of Tomas, and he knew now wasn’t the time, no matter how many questions he had.
“Well, then I’m grateful to her too,” Cassian said, taking a bite so massive nearly half of his burger disappeared. He chewed before saying, “Although I’m pretty grateful you came back, too.”
Nesta took another bite of her own burger. “You’re just saying that because I’ll have sex with you,” she laughed and dove back into her fries.
Cassian’s eyes lit up in amusement. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perk. But I think you’re going to be good for the b-n-b, for the ranch as a whole.” Nesta’s eyes softened and she smiled. Until he added, “And ‘I’ll have sex’ implies that we’ll be doing that again, right? That wasn’t a one and done?”
Nesta rolled her eyes, mouth full of food. A second later, she said, “I’ll have to think about it.”
Cassian had the audacity to look offended. “Ouch. Was I so bad?”
Nesta just grinned as she took another bite of her fries.
Cassian’s laughter filled the air as they finished their food. He paid, and then they made their way back into the truck.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said, as they pulled out of the parking lot. To his surprise, she had finished every last bite of her food and downed her milkshake. Even Cassian had left a few fries, claiming he couldn’t eat another bite.
“Anytime,” he said, meaning it.
“Um, home is the other direction,” she said, when he turned left onto the main road instead of right.
“I know,” Cassian replied, shortly, and when it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more, Nesta shot him a look.
“Where are we going?” she asked, slowly.
Cassian just grinned, one hand on the wheel, the other sneaking over the middle console to hers.
The ride was comfortably quiet, the rumble of Cassian’s truck the only sound. Nesta didn’t mind though, not as he drove through the square, where people bustled about. Velaris was a city best enjoyed at night, and the people milling around every restaurant and park and store front proved it. She also didn’t mind the feel of his hand in hers, so the longer drive was fine by her.
Until they pulled into a parking lot.
“Why are we here?”
Cassian only grinned and hopped out of the truck, rounding the hood and helping Nesta down. “Don’t feel like a walk down memory lane?” They began to walk and, as casually as she could, she slipped her hand back into his. His fingers intertwined with hers and he glanced down at her. She was staring forward, refusing to look up at him, but he knew color was staining her cheeks. Could tell by the way the tips of her ears were a darker shade of pink than normal. “I thought, rather than talk about who we are, cause that always sucks and no one likes doing it-.” He was rambling and Nesta giggled. He laughed at himself and cleared his throat. “Right. What I was trying to say, is that talking about who you are sucks. But talking about who you used to be? I don’t know, for me, it’s always been easier.” Nesta looked up at him, but he shrugged and carried on. “Even if I wasn’t always proud of who I was, I can at least learn something from who I’ve been.”
“Fair enough,” she said, quietly, as he led the way.
They were at their old high school, but Cassian didn’t walk toward the building, which was undoubtedly locked. Instead, he took her to the football field, where Nesta could count on one hand how many times she had been there through the four years she had spent at Velaris High.
“You played football?” She asked, as they walked through the gates.
“I did,” Cassian confirmed, as they walked onto the green field. Velaris Knights was painted into the end zones. “Yeah, I tackled a lot of guys on these fields. And, over there,” he pointed to the bleachers, “is where I used to get high and drunk, referring back to the jail conversation we had earlier tonight.”
Nesta laughed as she looked around. She had never been on the field before. Everything looked different from standing between the bleachers.
“You came to games, right?” He asked, gazing around the field. The lights were on, thanks to the evening practice that had only ended an hour or two before. The lights ran on a timer, just like they had when he played on this field. They had until just before ten-thirty before the lights would go out.
Nesta shook her head. “I was never a big fan of school events. I always preferred to stay home and read or more often than not, I was with Tomas. Going to some roping.”
There he was again, taunting Cassian from the past. But again, he wouldn’t bring up Tomas tonight. “Wasn’t Elain a cheerleader? Didn’t you come to at least support her?”
She shrugged. “Come cheer on the cheerleader? No, and she knew I hated it. She would actually convince Feyre to go to the games so I could have an hour or two of silence.”
Cassian snorted. “Well, I lived on this field. And I kicked ass. While you were being a nerd, apparently.”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I was not a nerd, asshole.”
Cassian held his hands up in surrender. “I never said it was a bad thing.”
Nesta couldn’t help but laugh as she shook her head. “Looking back, I would’ve done some things differently. Maybe not the staying home with a book, but with the whole Tomas business.”
Cassian stayed silent. He wanted so badly to ask, but knew he shouldn’t. They were having such a good time. He didn’t want to ruin it.
So, instead, Cassian said, “I wish I would’ve known you then.”
She chuckled but sat down when they reached the center of the field. “No, I don’t think you do.”
He followed suit, sitting down in the turf leaning back on his hands. “Why not?”
“It was true, what you said before. I constantly had a stick up my ass.” She laughed and continued. “And I was a bitch.”
Cassian laughed, but he didn’t correct her. “You were cute, though. I’m convinced I would have loosened you up.”
Nesta shook her head, unable to stop her smile from spreading. “I’ll let you think that.”
Cassian looked over at her, at the way her golden-brown hair shone in the lights. She was a beauty, and yes, she had been cute in high school, but now she was stunning, in her little blue dress and her simple braid.
“You’re staring again,” she mumbled.
“Let me stare,” he pleaded, eyes soft.
She blushed and he leaned over, tilting her chin up and softly brushing his lips against hers. When he pulled away, he whispered, “Please tell me I can do that whenever I want now.”
Nesta thoughtfully tapped her chin and said, “Whenever? I don’t know about that.”
“Damn you, woman,” he laughed and kissed her again, laying down on top of her.
She chuckled against his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We’re not kids anymore, Cassian, we can’t fuck on the football field. Just because you like being tossed in jail doesn’t mean that I do.”
He grinned, resting his elbows in the grass on both sides of her face. “I’ll be nice, I promise.”
She kissed him then, tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth. “Good.”
“Until you did that…” he muttered, kissing her again, pressing his body down against hers as he did so.
She let his hands roam her body, let him grab and squeeze and pull. He tugged on her hair lightly, tilting her chin up and exposing her neck. He nuzzled his face into it, and lightly ran his tongue along the long column of her throat. He pressed soft kisses along her jaw until he returned once more to her lips.
Pulling back to look at her, her lips swollen from his bruising kisses and her hair a messy halo around her head on the grass, Cassian brushed a thumb along her cheekbone. He breathed, “You are so damn beautiful.” She blushed and tried to turn from his gaze. “No,” he whispered, gripping her chin so she couldn’t look away. “Why do you do that? Why won’t you let me tell you how beautiful you are?” He asked, quietly.
“Taking compliments isn’t one of my strengths,” she said, running her hands down his arms, feeling his muscles beneath the fabric.
“Well make it one,” he mumbled, “because I’m not going to stop. I’m going to tell you how beautiful you are, always, because it’s the truth.”
She shook her head, slowly, but didn’t say anything else. She simply grabbed him by the face and brought his lips to hers.
After a few minutes of languid kisses, and some strong, strong willpower, Cassian rolled over and laid on his back, staring up at the sky. He tucked a hand behind his head and the other found Nesta’s next to him. His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of her hand and he gazed up at the stars.
It was quiet for a few minutes, neither one of them wanting to disturb the stillness. But eventually, Nesta asked, “You about ready to head home?”
He turned his head and looked at her, those stormy eyes seeing every part of him. “Just a minute. It’s almost time.”
Her brow furrowed. “For what?”
He smiled, looking back to the sky. “You’ll see.”
They laid there in silence, Nesta loving the feeling of his hand in hers.
The lights shut off, plunging the field into darkness. Nesta started, looking around, wondering if they needed to go, to get back to the truck, before someone-.
“Look,” he breathed, still staring upwards.
Nesta gazed toward the sky. Her breath caught in her throat.
The lights above them, surrounding the field, had gone off, and the starlight above them burned brightly, lighting up the night sky.
There were no trees, no nothing to block the view of the series of shooting stars that shot across the speckled darkness.
Only in Velaris.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. She had always known her hometown was famous for its starlight, had always snuck a glance or two up at the night sky throughout her childhood, but had never taken a moment to simply watch, to wait, to explore with her eyes the beauty of creation.
“It is,” Cassian agreed, softly. He wasn’t only talking about the night sky. “I used to lay out here all the time, in high school. Captivated by it.”
“Were you high?” Nesta asked, quietly, jabbing him in the ribs.
Cassian laughed, breathlessly. “Sometimes.”
She glanced over at him, but he didn’t notice. He was entranced by the wonder before him, by the sheer enormity of the sight above him.
“You love this town,” she said, and it wasn’t a question.
He nodded and looked over at her. “I do. It’s not much, but it’s...home. I’ve never wanted to be anywhere else.” He paused. “Well, except on the road, but that didn’t exactly pan out.”
“Why not?” She asked, before she could stop herself.
Cassian hesitated. “It’s a long story.”
“Is it?” She asked. “Or is this one of those times you say it’s a long story because you don’t want to tell the story.”
Cassian laughed, glancing sideways at her. “Maybe a little bit of both.”
“Well,” she said, smiling softly. “I have time.”
He tried not to let it sound harsh when he said, “Another time.” He turned and laid on his side, brushing the loose hair framing her face behind her ear.
He could see the stubbornness, could see that Nesta wanted to push. But she nodded and leaned forward to press her lips against his.
After a soft smile, he climbed to his feet and held out a hand. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s get home.”
She took his hand, happily, and let him walk her back to the truck. The ride back to the ranch was quiet, but not uncomfortable. He caught her looking at him from time to time, and every time he caught her, that look of annoyance from being caught captured her face.
When Cassian pulled up to her little house, he turned off the engine and got out, walking her up to the porch. They stood, hand in hand. He looked down at her and kissed her, softly. “Is this the part where you invite me inside?”
She made a show of acting like she was thinking, and took a step back. “I don’t know, this was only our first date…” She opened the door and took another step back until she was inside. “I’m not that type of girl.”
There was a playful glint in Cassian’s eye and he stepped forward, bracing an arm on the door frame. “I don’t know what type of girl you’re talking about.”
She chuckled and said, “Goodnight, Cassian.”
The smirk on his face faltered and she shut the door in his face.
He took a step back and blinked. “Wha- Are you kidding me?”
The door swung open just a few seconds later and Nesta stood inside, still laughing. She grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him over the threshold, her lips immediately meeting his.
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The Ranch {14}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
When Cassian woke up the next morning, Nesta was gone. She was probably off doing one of the many things on her ridiculously long list, and it was probably wise that she left before he woke up because he would’ve tried to guilt her into staying again.
He’d slept well, but the meds had definitely worn off. He popped a pill into his mouth and washed it down with a water bottle before pulling himself out of bed and hauling himself into the bathroom.
He looked in the mirror and groaned. He looked like shit, which wasn’t a surprise cause he felt like shit. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, all one handed, and then came his hair.
After a couple of attempts - way more than he was willing to admit - it was tied at the back of his head, but now came the part he definitely could not do on his own. He tossed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on the bed, followed by some socks. Getting his sweats off was no problem, but as he tried to step into his jeans, stumbling, he sighed and sat down on the bed.
“Grown ass man and I have to sit down to put my pants on,” he mumbled, doing just that. He went ahead and put the socks on, then stood and glared at the shirt, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to put that one on by himself. He grabbed it, tossing it over his shoulder. He sighed, imagining how hard Nesta was going to laugh when he had to ask her to help him get dressed. At least he’d get to see that look she gets whenever she saw his abs. Cassian whistled, slipping his phone into his pocket and heading into the living room. No sign of Beau.
Stepping into his boots, he muttered, “Damn woman even has my dog wrapped around her finger.”
He stepped out onto the porch, sun on his bare chest, and made his way up to the main house. He’d go down and get some stuff from his cabin that afternoon, and take the truck to check on the herd, but he’d take it easy. Doctor’s orders.
He climbed the back steps and entered the kitchen. Nesta wasn’t there, which he was half hoping, as he was starving, but he could hear her talking in the living room.
He walked towards the front of the house, saying, “Baby, I need you to gimme a hand.”
He entered the room and found Nesta sitting on the couch, pen and paper in hand. Her back was to him so she was turned around to stare at him, eyes wide in horror. There was a young woman with red hair sitting on the other end, mouth hanging open.
Nesta quickly got to her feet. “Maggie, this is Cassian. Cassian, this is Maggie, she’s here to talk about helping out with the B&B.”
Cassian’s ears burned. “Nice to meet you. Nesta, can we…” He trailed off and pointed to the kitchen.
She said, “Yes, absolutely. Maggie, I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”
He headed into the kitchen and she followed him. Cass kept his voice low as he said, “You never told me you had any inquiries, you just posted the ad yesterday.”
“I know, but Maggie called this morning, and was available to talk right away, so I told her to head on over.” Nesta paused and added, “Wait, I texted you all of this.”
Cassian pulled out his phone and looked down at the screen. Indeed, he did have a slew of notifications, with no less than four text messages from Boss. He winced. “My bad, sweetheart.”
Nesta rolled her eyes at his stupid contact name for her and said, “It’s okay.” She raised up on her toes and kissed him. “How’d you sleep?”
“Hard. I don’t remember waking up all night. Hurting this morning though. I took my meds, I wanted to run down and take a look at the herd. And I’m not gonna do anything, so get that look off of your face,” he added, seeing her eyebrows already raising. “I just won’t be able to take it easy until I see with my own two eyes that they're taken care of. But because I’m such a hero and I took a bullet for my best friend, I’m having trouble putting my shirt on. Think I can get some help?”
She let her forehead fall into her hand. “Oh my god, why do I love you?”
He laughed and said, “I love you, too.”
After he sat in one of the chairs, she helped him get the sling off. She awkwardly pulled the shirt on him, one arm at a time and then over his head. “Rhys said he’d come over after lunch to clean that for you,” Nesta said, helping him refasten the sling around his neck and Cass nodded, grateful he had a friend who was not only able to help out but also willing. “Oh, and the new ranch hand is out feeding the horses, if you want to go introduce yourself.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and started to walk back to the living room.
He was on his feet instantly. “The new- you hired a ranch hand? Without me? Shouldn’t I have been a part of this?”
She looked at him over her shoulder and said “It’s my ranch, and I think you’ll find I made a great decision.” She winked and he heard her talking with Maggie once again.
Cassian was still sitting dumbfounded in the kitchen. He was tempted to yell WHAT THE FUCK but figured Maggie was a nice, young girl who didn’t need to be corrupted with his shocked curses.
“Damn you woman,” he muttered, pulling himself to a standing position and heading out the back door. The meds were finally starting to kick in as he stumbled down the porch steps and into his truck.
After starting the engine, he headed down to the stables. Sure enough, a tall figure dressed in jeans, an old tee shirt, and a backwards ball cap was leaned up against the fence outside of the stables, watching the horses meander about in the pasture.
Cassian threw open the door and got out, slamming it behind him, but the second the man turned around, all weariness and frustration Cassian had from Nesta hiring a ranch hand without him faded away.
He halted, a few feet away from the fence. After blinking a few times, he asked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Azriel chuckled and said, “I thought she was kidding when she said she hadn’t told you.”
Cassian was staring at his brother not knowing how to respond to that. “I have no idea what’s going on.”
Az shook his head. “I decided the dealership wasn’t a good fit. I thought I liked the mechanical side of ranching, but I was wrong. Elain was texting with Nesta last night and she mentioned y’all could use a hand around here, so.” He lifted his arms and indicated himself. “Here I am.”
“You’re the new ranch hand,” Cassian said, slowly, as if he still didn’t believe the words.
“Seem to be,” Azriel said.
“Here? At this ranch?”
“Unless I’m at the wrong one,” Azriel said, laughing.
Cassian’s mouth broke into a slow grin. “You know this means that you’re, like, my assistant, right?”
Azriel was shaking his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Fuck yeah,” Cassian grinned. The smile on his face matched the relief he felt inside.
He and Azriel hopped in the truck and went out into the back pasture, making sure nothing looked out of the ordinary.
“So,” Cass began. “Woke up to a visit from the cops yesterday morning.”
Azriel raised his eyebrows. “They came here? They didn’t just call?”
Cassian shook his head. “Nope, damn near gave Nes a heart attack. Asked all the generic questions, tried to make this about one of us instead of about Tamlin being a jealous piece of shit with a grudge.”
“I assume you’ll be testifying, too?” Azriel asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, Monday. Are you?”
“Yeah, since I’m the one who took off after him, they need me to recreate my steps for the jury.” Azriel rolled his eyes. “As if us and everyone at that wedding didn’t hear what he said, as if there’s any defense for him.”
Cassian shrugged, wincing slightly. “If it gets him locked up for longer, I’m on board.”
Az looked at his oldest friend. “How are you?”
“Sore,” Cassian said, and when Azriel snorted, Cassian went on. “Looks worse than it is. Nesta worries too much.”
Azriel blinked. “You got a bullet half an inch from your heart, Cass.”
“That’s what I keep hearing,” he mumbled. “I can’t just sit on my ass all day, though, I’d lose my shit. I’m already losing my shit.” Az just stared at him. “Look, I’m gonna be taking it easy, but I can’t just do nothing. You know how I am. But I’m trying for Nesta and for the baby.”
“God, that’s still…insane.” Azriel took his hat off and ran a hand through it. “You’re gonna be a dad. Good luck.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cassian looked at him from the side.
Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Do you remember what we were like as children?”
Cass looked around them, at the land, the animals, the buildings on the property. “Oh gods, there’s way too many things for them to destroy.”
Azriel laughed. “You’ll be fine, man.” He gently rested his hand on Cassian’s good shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” Cass smiled. “So when the hell are you going to make an honest woman out of Elain? Or, are you gonna knock her up, too?”
Azriel groaned, covering his face. “Nesta’s not even been pregnant a week and Elain is asking when I want to have babies.”
“Elain would be a great mom,” Cassian countered.
“True,” Azriel agreed, “but I'm okay with waiting. For a while. A long time. Years.”
Cassian chuckled. “Years?”
“I haven’t even asked her to marry me yet,” Azriel said, as if that answered everything.
“But you’re going to,” Cassian said, and before Azriel could respond, he went on, “And if you don’t, I’m asking for you, because she’s a peach.”
Azriel gave him a rare, full-fledged grin. “She’s perfect.”
“So, you’re asking soon, then?” Cassian asked.
Azriel groaned, once more. “Is this what working with you is going to be like? You constantly butting into my personal life?”
Cassian blinked, then slowly looked over at Azriel. “It’s my job to be the center of your personal life.”
“The center?” Azriel asked, brows raised.
“Obviously,” Cassian said. “There’s Elain, and me, and Rhys. We are the center of your world, so I must know what’s going on with the other two involved, obviously.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Azriel said, shaking his head, but he was still smiling, so Cassian figured he was doing his job well.
He glanced at his watch. “Speaking of my pregnant girlfriend, it’s lunchtime, I’m starving and she’s literally a gourmet chef. So let’s go.”
Azriel laughed. “Alright, I’ll drive. You’re not supposed to and you know it.”
Cass didn’t deny it.
When they pulled up in front of the house, Nesta was on the front porch, standing on a ladder and watering a plant hanging from the ceiling. Cassian was instantly out of the cab. “Babe, be careful.”
“I swear to the Cauldron, if you spend the next seven months telling me to be careful, I’m going to lose my shit.”
“And what does that entail?” Cassian asked. “Losing your shit?”
“Kicking you in the ass,” Nesta said, “Obviously.”
Cassian scoffed. “And you would do that? To someone who's just been shot?”
Nesta rolled her eyes then looked to Azriel. “Can you control him?”
“That’s your job now,” Azriel said.
“Can’t argue with that,” she sighed, climbing down the ladder. “You guys hungry? Lunch is going to be ready soon.”
Cass winked at Az and said, “We could eat. Anything we can work on for you while you’re cooking?”
She turned and looked at him. “Are you trying to trick me into letting you work?”
Cassian raised his good hand in defense. “No, of course not, just offering.”
Nesta rolled her eyes again. “Come on.”
The men followed Nesta in and into the kitchen.
Azriel took a deep breath and groaned. “Smells so good, Nes.”
“Five cheese lasagna, salad and garlic bread.” She said it so matter-of-factly and not like it was a dish that used to be sold at a five-star restaurant.
Azriel whistled. “You made all that for lunch?”
“We eat good around here,” Cassian said, sitting in a chair at the table.
Nesta chuckled as she pulled the lasagna out of the oven, where it was keeping warm. She continued to take out a few plates and filled them for the three of them.
“No nausea today?” Cassian asked.
Nesta shrugged, cutting up the lasagna. “I was, but then the baby started craving lasagna, so here we are.”
“The baby has good taste,” Azriel muttered.
Cassian was quick to agree.
They sat down and ate. Nesta explained to the guys what she wanted done before the opening and Cass ran through his daily tasks with Az. The three of them knew there would be no issue, but it was good to go ahead and start fresh.
“So later on, when you get to the weird part of your pregnancy,” Azriel began, while Nesta loaded their plates into the dishwasher. “When you have random cravings, are you going to make crazy concoctions or just go straight for the pickles and ice cream?”
She laughed. “I don’t know, but I hope it’s easy. So far, I’ve been craving food from other regions that aren’t so easy to make. I don’t exactly want to have to ask Cassian to make me tarte tatin at three in the morning.”
Cassian was eating his second helping and with his mouth full said, “Me either, cause I have no idea what the hell that is.”
Nesta laughed, looking at him over her shoulder. “How did I end up with you?”
He shrugged, stuffing his mouth full with another bite. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Nesta just shook her head as she explained, “It’s a pastry.”
Cassian blinked, swallowing his food. “I like pastries. I could learn to make a pastry.”
Nesta closed the dishwasher and leaned back against the counter as she looked at Cassian. “The day I see you working in a kitchen is the day that the world ends.”
“Challenge accepted,” he muttered, mouth full of food, once more.
Azriel blinked, shaking his head as he watched Cassian stuff his face. “You really are a slob.”
“Fuck you,” he said, after a drink of water.
Azriel stood, ruffling his hair, and said, “No, thanks, bud. I’m gonna run into town and go pick up my pressure washer. I’m gonna take care of the stables.”
Nesta turned. “Az, no, you don’t have to do-.”
He stopped by her at the counter. “I do. You two have been through enough. Consider it my hazing so this asshole doesn’t do something worse when he’s back in action.” He hooked a thumb back at Cassian.
“Fuck you,” Cass repeated, though this time he was laughing, as he carried his plate to the sink. “I had something planned too.”
Ignoring him, Nesta said, “Thank you, Az. That means so much.”
She hugged him and he said, “That’s what family does, they help each other out. My brother and sister need me. That’s what I’m here to do.” He stepped back and looked at Cass. “I would hug you, but I genuinely don’t know how to do that without hurting you, so…” He shot him finger guns and then he was out the door.
Cass chuckled, shaking his head. “For someone so smart, he’s such a dumbass.”
Nesta laughed. Azriel was the only one of the three of them that she’d remotely remembered. He was an honors student, like she’d been, and they’d shared classes, but likewise to Nesta, Az kept to himself as well. It wasn’t until a drunken night at Rita’s, when Azriel was telling the story of the one time he’d been caught cheating, and Nesta realized it was her test he’d been cheating off of.
An almost sibling like bond was born between them that night and Nesta was glad she was getting to know him better. It let her know that Elain was in good hands.
“Alright,” Cassian sighed, looking at Nesta. “What can I do?”
“Relax,” Nesta ordered.
“I don’t want to relax,” he shot back. “I want to feel useful. Make me feel useful.”
“Be useful while relaxing,” she said, leaving the kitchen.
He followed close behind. “Babe, I need a job. Okay? Any job will do.”
“You’ve only been resting for a day,” Nesta said, laughing, making her way back out to the front porch.
“My pain meds work great,” he argued. “Let me help. Please.”
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” she asked, looking at her line up of hanging plants.
“No. I’m going to annoy the shit out of you, so you may as well let me help,” he said, staring her down.
She turned to meet his gaze, then rolled her eyes. “Fine. Hand me plants.”
Cassian blinked. “That’s my job? Handing you plants?”
“I’m going up on the ladder and it will help if you hand them to me,” Nesta shot back, arms crossed. “Or, you can go back to relaxing.”
Cassian took a deep breath. “Handing you plants, it is.”
One after one, Cassian picked the plants up and handed them to her, and she packed each into soil.
“So,” he began, doing his best not to stare at her ass. “I know you never thought you’d be in this situation, but are there any names you like?”
“Any names?” she repeated, making sure the plant was perfect before climbing back down the ladder and moving it to the next spot.
Cassian snorted. “For the baby.”
Nesta thought about it for a moment as she climbed up the ladder, once more. “I have a list.”
“A long list?” Cassian asked, handing her another hanging plant pot.
“A decent list,” she said, chuckling, taking the plant from him and hanging it up from the hook. She asked for the watering can.
“What’s your number one name?” he asked. “If it’s a boy.”
“I’ve always loved the name Jameson,” she said, watering the plant and climbing back down.
“Jameson,” Cassian mused. “I like Jameson.”
Nesta wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist. “What about you? Any family names?”
His eyes dimmed slightly. “I don’t have anyone I would name him after.”
Nesta breathed, “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry, I- shit, I’m sorry.”
He smiled and kissed her. “I promise it’s fine. I actually do have one name I like though.”
“Yeah?” She asked. “What’s that?”
He brushed her hair back and said, “Isaac.” Nesta’s eyes welled up with tears. “Is that okay?”
She nodded, closing her eyes and carefully resting her head on his chest. “Isaac Jameson Nazari.”
Cassian blinked. “You… You want to give him my last name?”
“Of course,” Nesta said, “You’re his father.”
“I just…” Cassian began, but his words fell short. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”
Nesta smiled, her hand resting softly against his cheek as she said, “We’re going to be a family, right?”
“Yes,” Cassian breathed.
“Then this baby, no matter it’s gender, or it’s name, will be a Nazari,” she whispered.
Cassian took a deep breath. “If you make me cry, I won’t feel bad about kicking your ass.”
She laughed and leaned up on her toes and kissed him softly. “I love you, more than I can explain.”
“I love you, too.” Cass wrapped his good arm around her waist and tried to lift her to set her on the porch railing. It was way more convenient to kiss her when her lips were at his level.
“No, no, no.” Nesta pushed against him. “Don’t you dare.”
“It’s fine, you’re light, babe.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I can lift you with one arm or two.”
A car door slammed and Rhys said, “Didn’t the doctor tell you two no exciting activities yet?”
Cassian smirked and said, “Sorry, man, she just can’t keep her hands off of me.”
“Oh, shut up,” she laughed, shoving him lightly and moving the ladder down. This time, she carried the carton of small plants up with her.
Rhys made his way up the steps, still in his scrubs. “Cass, really, dude, what the hell are you doing out of bed?”
He shrugged. “I’m taking it easy.”
“Taking it easy means playing Call of Duty from your bed until I say so.” Rhys was using his doctor voice, which meant he was serious. “Seriously, this is your heart we’re talking about here. You’re lucky to be alive. Do you know how easy it is to tweak something just wrong and pop a stitch, especially this early in the healing process?”
Cassian looked to Nesta for support, but she was positioning the flowers in her pot, ignoring them. He was on his own. “Uh, no?”
Rhys called over his shoulder. “I’m taking him home.”
“Then take him upstairs.” Nesta didn’t look away as she sprinkled potting soil in. “We’ll be staying here for the foreseeable future.”
Rhys and Cass spoke at the same time. “What?”
“I have a lot of work to do for the opening,” Nesta said, simply. “Which means I’ll be here all the time, anyway. The master bedroom isn’t open for guests, so we’re going to stay in there. That way, I’ll be close all day if you need me.”
“I won’t-.” Cassian began, but he was soon cut off.
“That’s a good idea,” Rhysand said, voice firm. “Seriously, Cass, you have to rest-.”
“Okay, okay, alright,” Cassian said, hating every second of this.
“Shall I carry you upstairs?” Rhysand asked.
Nesta snorted from where she was on the ladder.
“I’ll go lie on the couch,” Cassian muttered, opening the front door and slumping inside.
It was his worst nightmare: staying still for extended periods of time.
“Get a towel,” Rhys called. “This is going to be gross.”
Nesta was shaking her head. “Please don’t get blood on my brand new furniture.”
Rhys was chuckling as he went inside. “That all depends on how much of a baby he’s about to be.”
It turns out, Cassian was the biggest baby of all.
“That fucking burns, don’t touch me with with it.”
Rhys sighed again. “It’s going to burn, its peroxide. See how this is bubbling? I have to clean it.
“No, I can’t see it,” Cassian bit back. “It’s in my chest and I’m laying on the damn couch.”
Rhysand stopped what he was doing to glare at Cassian. “I’m so fucking close to sedating you, Cass. Be still.”
“I don’t wanna be still.”
“You’re acting like a child,” Rhysand muttered, continuing to clean the wound.
“Does that mean I get a sucker when we’re done?” Cassian asked. Rhysand couldn’t help but laugh. “I’d also accept a glass of whiskey. Which I should’ve had before we started this shit.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be sure to put a nipple on it so you can have your bottle before bed.”
Cassian smirked. “The only nipples I want before bed are-.”
Nesta’s feet could be heard on the porch before she rushed in through the front door, heading for the bathroom, hand clamped over her mouth. The door slammed shut and the sound of violent retching filled the living room.
“And that’s what got you in this situation,” Rhys said, indicating the bathroom. “Don’t move, I need to cover this before you sit up.”
Cassian grumbled and Rhys moved to the door, softly knocking. “You okay, Nes?”
He heard sniffling and she said, “I’m fine. Just need a minute.”
“Want a bottled water?” He asked.
There was a short pause. “Please.”
He passed into the kitchen and returned a second later, water bottle in hand. He jiggled the doorknob, but it was locked. When it opened a few seconds later, Nesta’s hand snuck out, took the bottle from him, then the door was closed, once more.
Rhysand returned to Cassian to cover the newly cleaned wound.
“Is this a daily occurrence?” Rhysand asked, and he knew he was talking about Nesta, not Cassian’s need for whiskey and hatred of peroxide.
“Yeah, changes by the hour,” Cassian said. “She was feeling great at lunch.”
Rhysand hummed before stepping back. “There. Done. Now, I’m coming back tomorrow at this time, and if you’re not relaxing, I’m going to kick your ass. Got it?”
Cassian rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Nesta opened the bathroom door, then, her eyes red and misty. Rhysand excused himself to the kitchen to wash his hands.
Nesta groaned, sitting on the edge of the couch next to where Cassian was lying. He rubbed her back, gently. “Feel better?”
“No,” she moaned, lying her head on the arm of the couch. “And I don’t think I’ll be eating lasagna for a while.”
Cass sat up. Without his arm in the sling, he definitely felt the pressure in his chest and shoulder, but he could actually do things for himself. He crouched in front of her and took both of her hands in his face. “Can I do anything?”
She shook her head, and her face scrunched up. He could tell she was trying her hardest not to start crying again.
“Why don’t you go lay down for a few minutes, sweetheart?” He asked, brushing her hair behind her ear.
She protested. “I can’t, I have so much to do-.”
“And a thirty minute nap won’t be the make or break on whether or not it all gets done,” Cassian said, wiping away the tear that slipped down her cheek. “You’re just going to burn yourself out and that’s no good for you or the baby.”
She sighed, but nodded. “Just for a little bit.”
He kissed her forehead and stood, helping her to her feet. She headed up the stairs and Cass sat back on the couch.
Rhys came back in the room. “Make sure you wear that sling.”
Cassian chuckled. “No promises, but I’ll try my absolute hardest.”
Rhysand stared at him for a minute before saying, “Liar.”
Then he was gone, after bringing Cassian his promised glass of whiskey.
He debated on hauling himself up the stairs after Nesta, but he figured that would only earn him a scolding, so he remained where he was, sipping on his glass of whiskey.
Two minutes went by before he was about ready to lose his shit.
He begrudgingly put the sling back on and got up, making a lap or two around the house. He needed something to do, anything, or he was going to do something that would get him trouble. Granted everything got him in trouble these days.
His phone began to buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, seeing a repeating alarm going off.
Take your meds!
It was punctuated by a kiss emoji and Cassian sighed. That woman was too good to him.
He lumbered down to the house, finding Beau snoozing on the couch. “You seem to be enjoying our time off, huh?” He gave the dog a scratch behind the ears and made his way back to the bedroom.
He retrieved the black duffle he’d stashed under the bed and began stuffing clothes and everything else he’d need up at the main house in it. He popped one of the pills in his mouth, chasing it with a swig from the bottled water on the nightstand and tossed the pills into his bag.
He debated on packing some of Nesta’s things, but knew he’d likely grab the wrong things and decided to let her pack on her own.own.
With the bag slung over his shoulder, Cassian, Beau at his side, trailed back up to the main house.
He wanted to do something special for Nesta. She had to be overly stressed, newly pregnant, opening a B&B, her boyfriend getting shot.
With a sigh, he pulled open the back door of the main house and dropped his bag before pulling out his phone and dialing Azriel’s number.
He answered on the first ring. “Hello?”
“Whatcha doing?” Cassian asked.
Azriel huffed a laugh. “Bored?”
“I need to go into town and was hoping you could drive me,” he said. “Or, I could drive myself-“
“Let me finish shoveling this shit and I’ll be there,” Azriel promised. “If you get behind the wheel Nesta would never forgive me.”
Az hung up and Cassian sighed. “Sick of being treated like a misbehaving teenager.”
Thirty minutes later, Azriel’s truck pulled up behind the house. When he came inside, he found Cassian balancing dishes, condiments, silverware, cups and other things from the kitchen cabinets and drawers in a tower. Cassian glanced up. “Thank the Cauldron, lets go.”
He stood and headed for the door. Azriel hesitated. “Shouldn’t you put all that away?”
He glanced back at his creation and waved it off. “Nah, Nesta’s reaction will be funnier.”
Azriel just shook his head. “You knock her up, get shot, and now you want to give the woman a heart attack?”
“She’ll laugh,” Cassian protested, stepping out of the back door. “Eventually.”
Azriel hesitated for another second before following his friend.
They hauled themselves into the truck and pulled out onto the street, toward town.
“Where am I driving you?” Azriel asked, one arm hanging out the window.
“Flower shop,” Cassian said. “Jewelry shop.”
Azriel looked at him with a lifted brow.
“For a necklace or something,” Cassian clarified. “Something to wear to the opening celebration.”
“You sure you’re not making an honest woman out of her?” He asked, keeping an eye on the road.
He’d thought about it, but he knew what her answer would be. He also knew that he didn’t want to ask her just because she was having his baby. He loved her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but he wanted to make sure she knew he was asking her for the right reason, not the obvious one.
“Not yet.” He could have left it at that, but he knew Az would have continued to ask questions. “You know I like to do things out of order.”
Azriel chuckled and said, “Well, you’re not wrong.”
“Sex, then first date, then knocked her up….but, marriage? That’s a bit down the road,” Cassian said.
Azriel grinned. “Fair enough.”
He pulled up on the curb in the little downtown strip and Cassian got out, heading straight to the florist shop. He picked out a giant bouquet of yellow roses and a vase that Cassian thought was fancy enough before putting it in the truck, and walking across the street, into the jewelry store.
A little old lady stood behind the counter and smiled brightly as Cassian entered. “Well, hello young man, how can I help you?”
“I’m looking for a necklace,” Cassian said, then added, “A nice one.”
The sweet little old lady chuckled and nodded, slowly walking to the opposite side of the counter she was standing behind. “Well, let’s take a look, then.”
She brought him over to a case that was filled with the most gorgeous necklaces imaginable. There were shining stones of every color glinting in the light, some with long, heavy chains, some that were fitted closer to the neck.
They were beautiful, yes, but they were so...ostentatious. He laughed at himself for even thinking of the word, knowing he’d picked it up from one of the SAT word search books Nesta had left at his cabin. And these necklaces were exactly that. They were too much.
He spied a price tag that had come out from behind the fabric covered stand it hung on and Cassian used another one of Nesta’s SAT words.
That was an egregious number of zeros.
“I think, uh…” Cassian scratched at the back of his neck and sighed. “Look, ma’am-.”
“My name is Miriam,” she said, interrupting him. “None of that, ma’am business. Makes me feel old.”
He chuckled, but smiled, warmly. “Look, Miss Miriam, I’ll be completely honest with you. I’m wanting to get a present for my girlfriend. It’s been a rough couple weeks and I’d like to cheer her up. But I don’t exactly have a lot of money, I’m a ranch hand and I’m technically out of work, thanks to my injury.”
Her kind eyes were worried as she said, “Oh no, what happened?”
He laughed and said, “To my shoulder or why has it been a rough few weeks?”
“Well, both.” Her answer was blunt, but her tone caught Cass off guard.
Her concern seemed genuine, but he chuckled and said, “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.” She smiled, warmly.
Cassian sighed. “She’s opening up a bed and breakfast she inherited from her father in a few weeks. If that wasn’t stressful enough, I just got shot by her sister’s psychotic ex at her wedding to my best friend and then we found out she’s pregnant when she passed out while I was in surgery. Now, one of my other best friends has had to quit his job to come be the ranch hand on said B&B, where I work, so yes, technically, she is my boss, to run the ranch in my place. All the while, she’s having the worst morning sickness and we were told she would never conceive, so we’re a little overwhelmed by all of this.”
Miriam blinked, speechless. “Oh, my… That was quite a long story.”
Cassian sucked on his teeth and rocked back on his heels. “Yep.”
Miriam asked, “What’s her name?”
“Nesta.” He even loves the way her name sounded from his own mouth.
She turned and was heading back behind the counter she’d first been behind when he arrived. “And your Nesta, is she more of a sweet, kind spirit or a firey lady in charge?”
He followed, and thought on the question, deciding to answer honestly. “She’s both.”
She lifted a small, locked case onto the glass top. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
She unlocked the box and opened the top.
A simple, elegant strand of pearls sat inside the velvet lining, and a lone pear-shaped diamond hung from the center. It was the single most beautiful piece of jewelry he’d ever seen.
He said, “Miriam, it’s beautiful, but I can’t afford-.”
“You’ll take it, and you won’t pay me a dime. It’s my gift to you, to give to her.”
Cassian forgot how to speak.
He forgot what the English language was.
He was actually in a coma from the gunshot and was having some sort of fever dream.
Those were the only reasons he could think of that a complete stranger would have just said that to him.
“I- Excuse me?”
She gently closed the lid and locked it again, placing the key on top and slid it across to him. “Before you try to tell me no, I need to tell you something.” She pauses and Cassian said nothing, giving her the chance. She smiled softly. “This jewelry store is all that I have left. My husband died just a few years ago. Our friends have all passed and it’s just me now. My husband and I never had the opportunity to have children, so our legacy will not live on. And I have no one to pass the things I love down to.”
Cassian could see her eyes getting misty, but he wouldn’t dare interrupt her.
“This necklace was a gift from Drakon when he returned from the war. I’ve held onto it for years, even as I’ve begun to give things away to strangers and to the missions. But I could never bring myself to sell my necklace. What price could I put on something that meant so much to me? So I want you to take this. Not only as a gift to Nesta, but as a gift to me. Pass this on to your baby, please.”
Cassian cleared his throat as his vision blurred. “I, uh, thank you.” A small laugh bubbled out of his mouth. “Truly. Thank you. I wish there was a word greater than thank you, but that’s all I can think of.”
Miriam laughed, quietly, and reached across the counter to pat his hand. “You’re so very welcome. Now, take that home to your girlfriend and have a damn happy life.”
Cassian grinned as he nodded, slowly. “Yes, ma’am.”
After telling her thank you, once more, and saying goodbye at least a dozen times, Cassian took the necklace back across the street and into the truck, where Azriel was waiting, sipping on lemonade.
He looked over at Cassian and blinked. “Are you crying?”
“No,” Cassian said, although he was pretty sure he was.
“Lair,” Azriel said. “You gonna let me see what you picked.”
Cassian looked down at the box, then unlocked it, and opened it up.
Azriel blinked, eyes going wide in surprise. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” Cassian said, slowly.
Azriel opened his mouth, then shut it, then said, again, “Holy shit.”
“She just gave it to me,” Cassian said.
Azriel looked up at him as if he had lost his mind.
“I’m serious,” Cassian said, laughing quietly. “I still can’t believe it. It’s a long story.”
“Well,” Azriel said, starting up the truck. “You’re going to make us all look bad, Rhys and I.”
“That’s the plan,” Cassian grinned, then looked back down at the necklace with a soft smile, reeling in how lucky and blessed he was.
But then he got a text. What the fuck have you done in my kitchen and where the hell are you?
He cleared his throat. “Okay, time to get home, Nesta didn’t think my kitchen installation was funny.”
Azriel started laughing and said, “Oh, no, I’m gonna take the back roads.”
Cassian looked over at his friend. “Uh, no, you’re gonna haul ass home.”
“Uh, no, I’m going to slowly drive you home, then go home to Elain,” Azriel said, grinning uncontrollably.
“I hate you,” Cassian said, quietly.
Azriel shrugged. “I suggested you take it all down before we left.”
“I still think it’s pretty funny,” Cassian said, trying to keep his voice light.
“Apparently you’re the only one,” Azriel said, but he was still grinning.
~~~~~
On my way home. Don’t ruin my masterpiece.
Nesta read the text with a scowl.
A second one came in. I’m with Az. Don’t worry.
It didn’t ease her anxiety. She once again stared at the “masterpiece” he left in the kitchen.
She was in love with an overgrown child.
With no hesitation, she began unstacking her dishes, spices, and other kitchen utensils. She was bumping the silverware drawer closed with a hip when Cassian’s boots began thumping up the front steps. She leaned against the island and waited for him to make his appearance.
When he did, carrying the biggest bouquet of yellow roses she’d ever seen, she melted. “What did you- Where did- Cassian…”
He set the vase on the counter, the heavy thus indicating it was as heavy as it seemed. “I wanted to do something to make you smile.”
And he’d succeeded, the grin on her face bright enough to blind him. Though the smile faltered when she saw the velvety box still in his hand.
“And…” he continued, holding out the box.
Nesta just stared at it. “Cass..”
“Just take it,” he said, eyes bright.
“It’s too much,” she whispered.
Cassian chuckled. “You haven’t even opened it yet.”
She knew his budget, knew what he typically spent on things, and anything that came in a large, beautiful velvet box had to be highly out of his price range.
“Please,” he asked, when she had yet to take it.
Her fingers closed around the box and when she tried to open it, she found that it wouldn’t budge. “This better not be an elaborate plan to make me feel weak so I’ll ask you to do things for me.”
Cassian began to laugh and he took the box from her setting it down on the counter. He wrapped his good arm around her waist and pulled her against him, softly kissing her. “No, but that does sound like something I’d do.”
He pressed another kiss to her forehead and fished a small silver key from his pocket.
Nesta’s eyes widened as she saw that whatever was inside needed to be locked up and she decided then and there that whatever was in the box was extravagantly too much.
He unlocked the box and lifted the lid.
Nesta gasped, her body going still as she eyed the elaborate pearl necklace.
“Cassian,” she breathed, at least she thought she did, if words hadn’t completely escaped her.
“Do you like it?” He asked.
If he wasn’t injured she would slap him. Yes, she loved it, but it was way too much.
Way too much.
“I love it, Cass, but-.”
“No,” he interrupted. “Don’t protest. It’s taken care of. It’s done, and you’re keeping it.”
She opened her mouth to do just that, but he said, “I’ll explain later, I promise. It’s a gift, Nes, for you, for our daughter one day, or for our son to give to his wife. That was the condition given to me, and I intend to uphold it, but that can only happen if you agree to take it.” He kissed her again and breathed, “Please.”
She wasn’t sure if it was the hormones or the beauty of the situation, maybe it was a little bit of both, but she started to sob. Cassian tensed, surely thinking he had done something wrong, but it was quite the opposite. She had fully intended to yell at him for making such a mess in her kitchen, but instead, he had shown up with the most beautiful gift she had ever gotten.
“Thank you,” she managed to get out.
Cassian laughed, breathlessly, as he took Nesta into his arms, his good arm wrapping around her shoulder. “I assume these are happy tears, then? Because if not, I feel like a real jackass.”
She nodded, unable to speak as she cried into his chest.
He tipped her chin up so he could look into her eyes. “I was hoping your nap helped, but now that you’re crying, I’m not so sure.”
She sniffled, taking a second to compose herself. “No, it helped. I needed it. I’m just… overwhelmed. Cass, this is amazing. I love you so much.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
She looked up into his eyes, completely amazed by the complex man before her. She would never understand him, the same man that built a tower out of utensils in her kitchen while also being the same man that brought her flowers and the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen.
He was incredible.
Indescribable.
All consuming.
And she was so madly, completely in love with him.
Cassian Nazari.
Her child’s father.
Her one true love.
She prayed, hoped, begged that there would never be a day of her life that went by that didn’t have him in it.
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The Ranch {15}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
Opening day had arrived and Nesta was caught somewhere between puking and a heart attack. She hadn’t slept at all, but she wasn’t tired in the least. Cassian, however, had snored the night away beside her, not caring what day it was. She envied his ability to sleep through chaos.
Although it probably wasn’t chaotic for him.
He didn’t stress about much.
She envied him for that, too.
It was just after five a.m. when Nesta hauled herself out of bed. She did yoga, a simple workout that had been approved by her doctor, then drank a glass of water and a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade.
It was all she wanted, lately.
Lemonade.
Freshly squeezed.
After letting Beau back in the house, she checked the clock, once more. It was nearing nine, and Elain would be showing up, soon, with a haul of bouquets to decorate throughout the main house.
Nesta and Cassian were still staying in the master bedroom. It was easiest as she prepared for the opening, and Nesta was starting to think that it was best, overall. His cabin was small, and so was the house that she occupied on the land. She wasn’t certain how she would feel once guests began checking in, but for now, the master bedroom of the main house had been treating them well.
Nesta planned to dress in a modest sundress and sandals, laying it out to wear, and all the while, Cassian stayed sleeping soundly, Beau snoring once again at his feet.
She didn’t bother to wake him, not yet.
The celebration didn’t begin until one.
As she stood in their bathroom, she pulled the measuring tape around her stomach, which was still flat as could be. She held the tape up, her thumb indicating where the end of the tape had lined up with the tick marks and looked at it.
She had gone down. By four millimeters.
She groaned, sitting down on the edge of the porcelain, and rubbed her fingers into her temples. So far this baby had made her vomit constantly, she hadn’t woken up without a headache in over a week, and she had probably consumed enough lemonade to ensure she’d never need to take a vitamin C supplement again.
And she had nothing to show for it.
Save for her massive, heavy tits.
Cassian had noticed, which, honestly, wasn’t saying much.
She sighed and stepped into the dress, pulling it up and reaching behind to zip it, which wasn’t a problem, until she reached her back.
It wouldn’t zip.
The fucking dress wouldn’t fit over her breasts.
She groaned, staring at herself in the mirror, the dress remaining unzipped.
“Come on,” she said, cursing, trying again at the zipper.
It wouldn’t budge.
“Shit,” she muttered. “Cassian!”
Nothing.
The man slept like a brick.
So, she tried again, louder. “CASS!”
“Hmm? What?” his sleepy words came from the bedroom, and she instantly felt guilty for waking him, but she needed help.
“I need you,” she said, turning around to show the half-zipped back of the dress in the mirror.
A minute later, a bare-chested, sleepy-eyed Cassian padded into the bathroom. He took one look at her and raised a brow. “You look nice.”
“My dress won’t zip,” she snapped.
“It’s your tits,” Cassian mumbled, and Nesta’s lips formed a tight line.
“Yeah, I know,” she snapped. “Help me, please.”
With a sigh, Cassian came up behind her and tugged on the zipper. It moved maybe half an inch, but not anymore than that. “Babe, it’s not going to zip.”
“Well, try harder!” she scolded.
He sighed again, knowing better than anyone not to argue with a pregnant woman, but more specifically not this pregnant woman.
He pulled and pulled and pulled, until he knew it wasn’t going to budge and he looked at her in the mirror. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders and said, “If I zip this dress up, you won’t be able to breathe, and if you do, these gorgeous, amazing, huge breasts are going to make a special guest appearance for our first guests.” He reached around from behind and palmed them through her dress, hoping to at least make her smile.
The scowl she was giving him through the mirror could have frozen Hell itself.
Cassian quickly dropped his hands. “Do you have another dress you can wear?”
“No,” she snapped. “I have very few, appropriate dresses and they’re all this size, in this cut.”
She tugged on the zipper another few times, but there was nothing.
“Fuck!” she cried.
Cassian frowned, trying to pull her into him for a hug, but she wouldn’t let him.
“I need a dress,” she said, hurrying from the room. “I need something.”
“Hello?” Elain’s voice traveled through the house from downstairs.
Cassian let out a breath. “Thank the gods.”
Nesta shot him a look, but he only held his good arm up in surrender.
“Up here!” Nesta growled, frustration still lacing her tone.
Elain was in the doorway a moment later, eyeing Nesta, then a disheveled Cassian. “Something looks off. There’s a situation happening here, isn’t there?”
“My dress won’t zip,” Nesta snapped.
“It’s her tits,” Cassian supplied.
Elain cleared her throat. “Well, let me take a look.”
She walked up behind Nesta and tried the zipper, but it still wouldn’t budge. After digging her phone out of her pocket, she said, “We have a few hours yet. How about I take you into town a minute to find something new?”
“There’s no time! I still have so much to do and I haven’t even started baking and-.” Nesta began to hyperventilate, something she’d never done in her life, but thanks to these damn hormones, something that was triggered nearly every time she cried.
Cassian was there in an instant, his hands framing her face. “Sweetheart, breathe. It’s okay. I can handle everything, except the baking. Go with Elain, pick up a dress that will accommodate your growing...assets, and come back and everything will be ready for you.”
Nesta nodded, wiping away the few tears that had slipped out. She mumbled, “They’re not assets.”
Cassian looked like he wanted to protest, but didn’t. “Go. I will finish the last minute details. When you come back, all you’ll have to do is bake, and I’ll be there to help you with that, too.”
“I do like ordering you around,” she muttered.
“Exactly,” he grinned. “Alright? Go with Elain. I’ve got this.”
She nodded, hesitantly, but didn’t complain. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he breathed, then looked to Elain, thanks in his eyes.
He gave Nesta a slow, soft kiss before she left with her sister, quietly, in her shorts and tank top. Elain helped her into the passenger side of her car, even though Nesta didn’t need help. It was her sister’s way, though, with her gentle spirit.
They drove into town, mostly in silence. She was grateful for her sister, for her gentleness, her caring-ness, her kindness, but she had nothing to say. All Nesta could think about was what Cassian was getting done in her absence.
Elain parked downtown, on the main strip, just next to a little boutique they used to shop at all the time in high school. She followed her sister in and looked at a wall full of sundresses.
“Alright,” Elain said, clapping her hands together. “What are you thinking?”
“Literally anything that fits,” Nesta mumbled.
“Well,” Elain began, picking up a pink floral number that Nesta prayed was for herself and not her. “What size have you been? You don’t exactly need to jump straight into maternity clothes. So we’ll either need to pick a size up or find a more...forgiving fabric.”
Nesta glared at Elain over her choice of words, but she began to flip through the dresses. “I wear a four, so I guess I should look at sixes?” She held a dress up, but the lime green fabric nearly hurt her eyes.
“Or a stretchier four,” Elain reminded her. “How about this?”
She held up a pale yellow dress with a grey pattern stitched in. Nesta made a face of indifference. “Don’t know if yellow is a good color for me.”
Elain nodded. “That’s fair. Yellow isn’t a good color on anybody.”
Nesta chuckled and the two of them set to searching, each finding a few dresses Nesta didn’t absolutely despise.
She tried them on, but refused to show Elain any of them, no matter how much her younger sister protested. At last, she settled on a pale blue dress, reaching just above her knees. The spaghetti straps were decent in holding up the fabric that mostly covered her breasts. She changed into the clothes she had arrived in, claiming it was the one. After paying for it, she dragged Elain from the shop, ordering her sister to take her home.
Elain didn’t argue. She wasn’t one to argue, anyway, but Nesta assumed it was mostly because of her current attitude. Nesta couldn’t apologize, though. She was too pregnant to care about her sister’s wishes, as awful as it sounded.
When Elain was pregnant with Azriel’s spawn, Nesta would react the same.
True to his word, Cassian, with his good arm, was displaying Elain’s bouquets around the house, on every table and shelf. He had also vacuumed and dusted, once more, for good measure. He’d even gotten the things he thought she was most likely to need out on the kitchen island for her, although those things only consisted of sugar and flour.
Elain had made herself scarce, going to find Azriel and promising she’d be back to help as soon as Nesta needed her, and Nesta made her way upstairs, dress bag in hand. She heard the shower running and made her way into their room. The white dress she intended to wear - the one she’d specifically bought for this occasion - was still on the bed where she’d thrown it on her way out. It was next to Cassian’s sling.
She sighed and re-hung it on the plastic hanger and knocked on the bathroom door. Cassian’s muffled reply sounded and she let herself in.
He called over the water, “You find a dress, baby?”
She entered her closet and hung them both up, deciding not to wear the blue dress until after she’d finished baking. “Yeah. But I don’t like it as much as I liked my white one.”
“I’m sure you’re going to look as beautiful as you always do.”
Nesta smiled toward the shower, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. Well, not in-depth, anyways. The frosted glass allowed Cassian to see out just as much as it allowed Nesta to see in. And all she could see was a vast expanse of tan, naked, wet skin.
Gods it has been so long since they’d had sex.
Three more days and Cassian would be off of light-duty, as they’d jokingly started calling it. To the doctors, it meant Cassian was allowed to stop wearing the sling and was allowed to return to work, as long as he continued to have Az do the literal heavy lifting. But to the two of them, it meant the end of a nearly three-week-long dry spell. Longer than they’d had to go since they’d gotten together.
She nibbled on her bottom lip as she said, “Thank you for prepping for the opening.”
“Of course,” he replied, above the water. “Anything I can do to help. It’s nice to feel useful.”
She leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom to say, “The band should be arriving any minute now to set up. I could use a shower, so hurry up.”
“You could use a shower?” Cassian asked, pretending to be oblivious. “Were you inviting yourself? There’s room for two.”
“Three more days,” she warned.
“I can’t even see you naked?” he laughed, his heavy feet turning atop the tile.
Nesta sighed. Of course, he could, but the temptation that came along with such had her toes curling. “Hurry up, Nazari.”
“Join me, Archeron,” he argued. Then, he added, “I promise to be nice.”
Nesta hesitated, but sighed and stripped off her clothes, quickly wiping the remnants of her tear stained makeup off. She tossed two towels on the vanity by the shower, knowing he hadn’t remembered to grab one for himself, and pulled open the door.
The warm steam enveloped her as she stepped in and was face to face with his, well, back. She reached up and traced the ink that swept from his left shoulder blade down the outside edge of his spine. The shiver that went through him had nothing to do with the cool blast of air she’d let in when she’d stepped in, but before he could turn, she’d wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind.
“Do you think people are going to like it?” Her cheek was pressed to his warm back. The question was quiet, barely audible over the water pattering on the tile.
“Like what?” He asked, after a moment.
“All of it,” she breathed. “My dress, my cooking, the opening. The B&B itself.”
He took a moment to respond before turning to meet her, his hazel eyes lit with surprise. His brows were scrunched together as he answered, “Of course they are. Nes, you have worked so fucking hard and you should be so proud at what you’ve accomplished. I know I am.”
She smiled, seeing the truth of his words in his eyes and leaned up to kiss him, pulling back when she was poked in the stomach. “Seriously?”
“It’s been a long few weeks,” he laughed, pulling her against him regardless. He kissed her, his lips still brushing hers. “He’s missed you.”
She laughed, “Oh, it’s him, is it?”
“Yes, him,” Cassian laughed. “I love you, but his obsession with you is an entirely different thing. He’s missed you. Give him some love.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Three more days.”
Cassian groaned, his head falling back. “If you tell me that one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”
“I believe your shit is already lost,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Just a quickie,” he whispered.
Nesta snorted. “No.”
“Please?” He asked, kissing her forehead, her nose.
“No,” she laughed.
“You have no idea how badly I need to be inside you.” He began to kiss her neck, her shoulder, and she let him, loving the feeling on her skin. “Let me make you feel good, baby. It will help make today easier, I promise.”
His mouth continued his assault on her neck while his hand traveled south, stopping to tug on a peaked nipple, which had Nesta whimpering softly. It continued to move down until it was over her stomach, fingers spread out. “I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You told me you were going to do this the very first day you came back and you did it. I love you so much.” He crouched, the spray of the water on his back, pressing a kiss to Nesta’s stomach. “And I love you. More than I can begin to explain. I can’t wait to meet you.”
Nesta was tearing up again, watching the man before her, this powerful man that put his life on the line for his best friend, for her, talking to their baby.
A knock came at the door. “Uh, Nes! The band is here…”
Cassian was back on his feet as Nesta called, “Be right out!”
“No she won’t!” Cassian followed.
Nesta laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to make Elain uncomfortable.”
“What?” Cassian asked. “She knows I knocked you up, but us showering together is taboo? Yeah, okay.”
Nesta blinked. “Did you just say taboo?”
Cassian was peeking his face out of the glass, as if it helped amplify his voice. “She’ll be right out!”
He wrapped his arms around her one more time, even though he knew their time was short. “Hey,” he whispered, getting her to look up at him. “You’re going to kick ass today. I love you.”
She smiled up at him and rose up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too.”
And he had no doubt. She would.
Twenty minutes later, Nesta was hurrying downstairs, t shirt and shorts on, hair dried but not yet styled, nor was her makeup done, and met Elain talking with the band in the living room.
“Hey, Lucien,” Nesta said, in a rush. “I’m so sorry. Times just gotten away from me today.”
Lucien grinned, and shrugged. “It’s all good. Elain’s organizational skills are coming in handy.”
Nesta winked at her sister. “Good.”
“I heard the news, by the way,” Lucien went on, nodding to Nesta’s stomach. “Congrats.”
Nesta’s smile softened. “Thank you.”
Elain cleared her throat. “So I was thinking we could set the band up over by the new stables. That’s where we’re serving the food, right?” A nod from Nesta while Lucien listened to his best friend’s instructions. “The vendor tables are going to be all along the west pasture edge and…” She looked down at her watch. “The bounce house will be here at twelve-thirty.”
“Great.” Nesta took a deep breath and was thinking through what all she had left to do.
Cassian’s heavy boots came thudding down the stairs, and he appeared around the corner. “Hey, Luce.” He shook his hand. “How’s that shit bag friend of yours that shot me doing?”
Lucien cringed. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to him since he was sentenced.”
It had been an emotional day to say the least. They had all been asked to testify, and only Feyre and Nesta had declined. Nesta wasn’t sure her nerves could handle it, didn’t want her baby being flooded with those kinds of endorphins. Feyre told their lawyer she lacked the ability to be subjective.
As one of the intended targets, Rhys would have spoken regardless, but since he had been the one to keep Cassian breathing until they’d gotten him to surgery, his testimony was damning. As were Elain and Azriel’s, though Elain was more of a witness than any direct involvement. Azriel had had to retrace his steps, once in person and once over a map of the property. But all Cassian had to do was answer simple questions. His body, the trauma he’d gone through was evidence enough.
Cassian nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but Nesta cut him off. “Where’s your sling?”
“Come on, Nes, it’s a family fun festival,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We’re a family, we’re gonna have fun, and I’m not doing anything today that requires my sling.”
“Put it on,” Nesta said, turning to go back upstairs and finish getting ready. “Or you’ll regret it. Elain, you got this?”
She gave Nesta a glowing smile and a thumbs up. She lived for party planning and when Nesta had tried to talk a price for helping, Elain had told her she was offended and to not bring it up again.
After walking back into the master bedroom, Nesta padded into the bathroom and started on her makeup. When she was pleased, she stripped off her tee and shorts and pulled on the pale, blue sundress. Outside the windows, she could hear vendors arriving and scurrying about.
Her nerves were going haywire.
It didn’t help that Cassian had yet to come get his sling. Not only did Nesta have to worry about everything else, but she had to worry about him, too.
Nesta slipped on her sandals and unlocked the velvet box on the dresser, where she took out the necklace he had gotten for her. Standing in front of the mirror, she clasped it around her neck.
After grabbing Cassian’s sling off the bed, she was hurrying back downstairs.
She rushed into the kitchen after finding Cassian talking with Rhys, throwing the sling to him and hitting him directly in the face with the wadded up fabric. She tied an apron around her waist and began to whip up the batches she needed for the macaroons she was making.
After about twenty minutes, Feyre rushed in the backdoor. “Sorry, I know I’m late, I’m here!” She set her bags down and hugged Nesta. “I’m so happy for you.” She pulled away abruptly. “Are your tits…bigger?”
She sighed. “Does no one else know what happens to the female body during pregnancy?”
“I’ve learned, recently, first hand,” Cassian said, mouth full of baked goods. He had claimed he was helping Nesta, but he was doing no such thing.
Feyre shot Cassian a bemused look. “What kind of sex life could you two possibly be having right now-.”
“Feyre,” Nesta snapped.
“She’s right, no physical activity,” Rhysand muttered, his mouth also full of Nesta’s baking.
Nesta was rolling her eyes. “Feyre, can you take these two assholes and give them a job to do?”
“Damn,” Rhysand said, just as Cassian muttered, “Watch your language.”
This only earned them both a death stare.
They were instantly on their feet, following Feyre out of the back door.
Nesta sighed, thankful to her sister for giving her the small moment of peace and quiet in what she was expecting to be one of her busiest days yet. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and memorizing the scents around her: the warm, sweet smell of the baking macaroons; the rich, woodsy scent of her childhood home; the earthy scent of the rolling pastures. But there were also subtler smells around her, that were harder to pick up on, but just as important, like the unpleasant, but honestly, not that horrible once you get used to it manure; the hint of bleach and lemon from where she’d spent hours cleaning the kitchen yesterday; the heady pepper and spice scent of the love of her life.
Nesta tried to stop the quiet sob that left her mouth, but her hormones were so crazy. She was just so overwhelmed by where her life was, how happy she was in Velaris when she never thought she could be. She was having the baby she never thought she would with a man she never could have imagined.
And now she was carrying on her father's legacy, his dream. She looked out the window, watched as the flurry of people set up for the celebration that the whole town was invited to.
A celebration for her father, for his dream, for the rebirth of something Nesta once had no interest in, but now put her everything into.
The thoughts running through her mind had her eyes growing misty, but not with tears of sadness, only joy.
After finishing up in the kitchen, Nesta walked out into the backyard, where everything seemed to have been already set up. There were lawn games spread out, the band set up by the stables in the distance, tables laid out where the caterers were setting up the food.
People would be arriving any minute.
“Excuse me, miss?”
Nesta turned to find a woman with a kind, familiar face approaching her. “Hi, welcome to Belles & Blossoms.”
She smiled fondly. “You don’t recognize me.”
Nesta blinked a few times. “Alis? Oh my, goodness! Hi!”
She embraced the sweet woman who’d taken an interest in a surly teenager in a diner, taught her to love cooking, and all manners of it, not just French gourmet.
“I heard you were back and reopening the B&B,” Alis smiled. “We will have to catch up some time so you can tell me all about your adventures.”
“I’d love that,” Nesta agreed. “I went by the diner a few months ago, but you weren’t working.”
“Well, I’m glad I hunted you down,” she chuckled. “Are your sisters here?”
“Somewhere,” Nesta said, looking around. All she could see was Cassian standing by the beer table, helping himself. When he caught her eye, he waved.
He still wasn’t wearing his damn sling.
“You’ll have to excuse me, Alis,” Nesta said, chuckling softly. “The resident thorn in my side is poking me.”
“Cassian Nazari is a nice boy, Nesta,” she said. “He’s been sweet on you for quite some time.”
She spun, looking at her quasi therapist, surprise on her face. “What?”
Alis laughed. “You always had your nose in a book, you never stopped to notice when someone was noticing you. Even all those years ago.”
She winked and headed towards the house, blending with the small crowd that had begun to accumulate. Nesta stared after her, blinking.
“You look lost.”
Nesta jumped, having been lost in her own thoughts, indeed. Cassian was standing behind her, watching her, thoughtfully, a plastic cup filled with beer in his hand.
Nesta’s look of surprise turned into one of frustration. Her eyes narrowed. “Where is your sling?”
Cassian blinked. “I don’t understand the question.”
“Cassian,” Nesta groaned, but he was only laughing.
“I’m fine, alright?” He held up his cup as proof. “Took my pain meds, got my alcohol, even Rhys says it's fine. I promise to put it on as soon as all these people leave.”
Nesta’s lips formed a straight line. “You’re trying to uphold your tough guy image, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “Absolutely, yes. Yes, I am.”
She pursed her lips, trying to keep the smile from forming, but Cassian saw the side of her mouth twitch. He saw the sparkle in her eyes that only came out for him. He wrapped her in both of his arms, holding her tightly and kissed her forehead.
She gazed up at him and smirked, “So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t tell them all how you cried during the end of Eight Seconds?”
His tone was one hundred percent genuine when he said, “He was riding for Lane, Nesta. Even you were tearing up.”
She laughed and leaned up on her toes, kissing him. “Or that you tear up when you tell me stories of what you want to do with our baby? Or when you talk to our baby? Or when you do anything that has to do with our baby?” She was laughing by the end, but silent happy tears were streaming down her own face.
Cassian watched her, absolutely adoring everything about the woman in his arms. He hugged her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Okay, you emotional basket case. Let’s go find you some lemonade.”
“I really like lemonade,” she whispered.
She was convinced it was her one true love, as of lately.
Cassian grinned. “I know, sweetheart.”
The entire town began to gather as they walked about the grounds, Nesta sipping on her lemonade as she greeted her guests. She was surprised by the turn out. She had hoped this many people would show up, but to actually watch it unfolding was miraculous.
Cassian was his usually charming self and, true to his word, he seemed to know everyone.
“How are you feeling?” Mor asked, when they’d joined her on the porch. Her plate was piled high with Nesta’s macarons, as well as the barbecue they’d had catered for the event. How she managed to stay so fit but eat as much as she did was a mystery to everyone.
“I’m okay,” Nesta smiled. “The morning sickness is the worst part, not that I can even call it morning sickness. It happens at all hours of the day, with no warning.”
Feyre crinkled her nose. “Between that and your unintentional boob job, I’m beginning to think adoption may be a good fit for me.”
She laughed but Rhysand shook his head. “You told me last night you can’t wait to start having kids.”
She glared at him. “I said start trying to have kids.”
He chuckled. “My mistake.” He kissed the top of her head and headed to meet Az and Cass at the food table, which had apparently become a beer pong table.
Mor asked, “But aside from that, the pregnancy is...normal?”
Nesta laughed. Their friends had all had questions about it, whether or not she needed to take it easy for the next six months. They’d had questions about it, but at her doctor’s appointment the week before, he’d told her to follow the same precautions as a normal, expected pregnancy. It wasn’t staying pregnant that was a problem for Nesta’s body, it was getting pregnant.
She started to reply, but a deep voice behind her asked, “You’re pregnant?”
She turned and found Tomas and a friend on the porch steps. She looked around frantically, trying to locate Cassian in the crowd, or Rhys, Azriel, anyone that was Tomas fucking Mandray. They weren’t at the stables, not with the food. Her phone wasn’t on her. Mor didn’t know Tomas and Feyre and Elain didn’t know how truly deeply her fear of the man ran.
But Nesta nodded before turning her back to him, hoping he’d go away.
He didn’t. “Congrats.”
To anyone else, it would sound genuine, but when Nesta looked back over her shoulder, she saw the gleam in his eye, that familiar gleam, one she loathed with every ounce of her being.
He was pissed.
Years later, and he still thought he had some sort of claim on her.
“Thanks,” she gritted out, through clenched teeth.
“Where’s the dad?” Tomas went on. “Have to congratulate him, too.”
Mor opened her mouth to answer, but Nesta was already saying, “Don't know.”
Tomas nodded, Elain shooting a worried glance at Nesta.
“Well, hopefully I run into him before the days done,” Tomas said, then winked, before walking away.
Nesta’s blood ran cold.
Elain places a gentle hand on Nesta’s knee. “Are you-.”
“I’m going to be sick,” she said, shooting to her feet and heading for the house. She knew her nausea had nothing to do with the child growing inside of her and instead to do with the man that couldn’t accept that she no longer belonged to him and never would again.
She threw herself up the stairs, where no one was, and fell into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She was on her knees, her skin hitting the tile with such a force that she cried out as she hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
She knew she was crying, knew her makeup was running, and it only grew worse as she thought, I have to get to Cassian.
What if Tomas did find him? Surely he wouldn’t congratulate him, surely he would have other things in mind.
And Cassian was in no condition to hold up his end of a fight.
But a soft knock came to the door.
“Nes?”
Cassian. His deep, calming voice floated through the door.
She tried to speak, but instead, another round of heaving hit her and Cassian tried the knob. “Sweetheart, the door is locked. Are you okay?”
She heard muffled voices from the other side of the door, barely registering that one was female. She tried to say something, anything, but it was as if her voice wouldn’t work. She climbed to her feet on wobbly legs and unlocked the door.
Cassian opened it, finding her with puffy, red eyes, streaks of mascara running down her face, and bruised knees where she’d dropped to the tile.
His gaze fell, heartbreak filling his eyes as he shut the door softly behind him.
“Elain found me, said something happened with Tomas.” His voice was soft, both of his hands cradling her face. Concern lacing his tone.
They had talked about Tomas before, but very little. Enough that he knew what had happened between them, knew the hatred and fear that Nesta felt when it came to her ex.
When Nesta didn’t answer, Cassian pulled her into his chest and held her tightly, closely.
“I hate him,” she whispered.
“I know,” Cassian breathed, rubbing slow circles on her back.
“My face is ruined,” she said, and when she looked at his shirt and saw the mascara stain on it, her frown deepened.
“Makeup can be re-done, shirts can be washed. Not a big deal.” He kissed the top of her head and stooped to pull a makeup wipe out from under the cabinet. He handed it to her and pulled the shirt over his head, wincing slightly as he raised his left arm. Nesta’s eyes were concerned when he looked back at her. “I’m fine, I promise. Just sore. See?”
He went through the motions of the physical therapy Rhys had shown him and Nesta silently watched. The only reason she wasn’t making him put the sling back on is because Rhysand had said it was healing well and he could use the movement to keep it from getting stiff. She sighed and nodded, trying to salvage what she could of her makeup, while Cass leaned on the door frame, watching her. Still shirtless.
Nesta tried not to look at the puckered scar forming on his chest, even if he didn’t seem to have a problem messing with the tender spot.
“It’s all going to be okay,” he whispered, watching her with his arms crossed. They were the same words he had muttered a million times since he’d been shot.
Nesta just nodded, not quite believing them, not quite wanting to protest, either. She dropped the wipe in the wastebasket and met her reflection.
Good enough.
“Perfect,” Cassian said, his voice still low.
Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting his stare. “Okay.”
“Ready?” He asked, holding out his hand.
“I’ll go get you a shirt,” she said, in answer.
Cassian grinned. “What? I can’t go out like this?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’ll start a riot.”
He strolled into his closet and came back out in one of his old faded t-shirts he loved so much. She wanted him dressed a little more nicely, but she decided it didn’t matter what he was wearing. This was their home. Why put on an air that they were anyone but who they really were.
He took her hand, but when he headed for the door, she hesitated, tugging him back lightly. He looked at her.
Her bottom lip was between her teeth. It was a habit he didn’t even think she realized she had, but he knew she was truly worried when that full lip was caught in her teeth. He gently used his thumb to free it and leaned down to press his own lips to hers.
He asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Tomas said he… He wanted to congratulate you, on our pregnancy.” The words were small. Scared.
“Congratulate me?” Cass asked. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she said, taking a breath. The words began to flow out of her in a whoosh of air. “And that’s why it worries me. I don’t know what he wants to do to you, but you’re in no condition to fight, but I also really would prefer not to make a scene at our own grand opening, and-.”
“Nes, baby, breathe.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe, sweetheart.” She did as she was told, tamping the hyperventilation down. “Do you really think Azriel and Rhys would let anything happen today? Or anything happen to me?”
She shook her head.
“Stop worrying,” he said, that little smile plastered on his lips. “If it helps, I’ll stay right close by until everyone leaves. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said, smoothing out her dress even though there were no wrinkles. She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn’t help it.
Not today.
It was all too much.
“Do you want to order pizza for dinner?”
Her head snapped up. A night to not cook, a night to eat greasy, cheesy food and just relax? “Please.” Then she added, “And can we watch a bad movie?”
He held her hand as they headed back downstairs and into the crowd. “The worst movie we can find.”
The rest of the afternoon had gone well. They hadn’t seen Tomas again, but Nesta kept Cassian within view until everyone left.
He knew she worried about him, and he didn’t want to cause her anymore stress. She had enough on her plate.
Which is why Cassian was walking up the stairs of the little house, a box of pizza, a giant bottle of lemonade, and a twelve pack of beer in his arms. Since it was the first night of guests in the B&B, they would be spending their more private evenings in one of the little houses. Maggie would be on site from nine in the morning until five in the afternoons, Wednesday through Sunday. The guests all had the emergency number Cassian and Nesta had set up. Everything was going smoothly and he’d even stopped in to check on the guests on his way back to the house.
Tonight, Nesta needed to de-stress.
And Cassian had a few ideas on how to make that happen, starting with junk food and her requested “bad movie”.
The first step of that was already in motion. Nesta had been soaking in the clawfoot tub with a book for the past forty-five minutes while he picked up their dinner.
Beau poked his head out through the newly installed doggy door, not quite used to the weird way he’d been getting in and out of his houses. He gave a short yelp of greeting and Cass tried to get him to come through the flapping door, but after a solid forty seconds of nothing, he gave up and opened the door.
He found Nesta in the kitchen, at the stove and he set the pizza box down on the counter. “I thought you didn’t want to cook.”
“I don’t,” she sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about the smell of mirepoix, even if I don’t have a dish to put it in.”
Cassian walked to the fridge, putting the lemonade and beer in, grabbing one for himself before shutting the door. He looked into the pan. “Onions, carrots, and celery?”
She nodded, taking a deep breath. “And butter and garlic.”
He chuckled, shaking his head.
Her wet hair was bundled on top of her head. Her face was bare, not a stitch of makeup on, and she was wearing one of his old rodeo t-shirts.
He turned her face towards him and softly pressed his lips to hers. “Gods, you are so beautiful.”
Her eyes narrowed but she could stop her small smile. “Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” Cassian asked, cracking open his can.
“Complimenting me,” she said, simply, taking the giant bottle of lemonade he’d gotten and pressing it straight to her lips.
“No glass?” Cassian asked, amused.
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Why would I waste time with a glass?”
He couldn’t argue with that logic.
He gestured to the pan on the stove. “Do you want to put that on top of your pizza?”
She scrunched her nose. “No, the smell was enough. I’m ready to eat my pizza though.” She was eyeballing the box and Cassian laughed.
She started to clean up the kitchen and he put the pizza in her hands and said, “Go. Sit. Eat. I’ll handle this.”
Nesta smiled and did exactly that, while Cass put the cooked vegetables in a bowl to cool down. Looks like Beau was going to be getting a good meal tonight.
Eventually, Cassian finished up with the kitchen and joined Nesta on the couch. After a fierce debate about what exactly fits the parameters of being a “bad movie” and genuine offense from Cassian when Nesta picked one of his favorite childhood movies, they finally agreed on a cheesy romantic comedy and Nesta was asleep on Cassian’s chest almost immediately. He turned the tv down and changed it to roping highlights, scrolling through his phone. His good arm was still around her, but he was able to do what he needed with his left arm.
After about an hour, even he was tired from the day’s festivities. When his eyelids slid shut of their own accord for the third time, he knew it was time to move to the bed.
“Nes,” he whispered, peppering her brow with soft kisses. “Wake up.”
She stirred, but whimpered, forehead creasing as she frowned in her sleep.
“Nesta, wake up, sweetheart.” He gently shook her.
She gasped, eyes wide. “Where is he?”
He framed her frantic face with his hands. “He’s not here, baby. It was a bad dream.”
She was still breathing hectically, eyes searching everywhere, from shadows in the corners to the hallway behind them. “Bad dream?”
“Just a bad dream.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, let’s go to-.”
The sound of glass shattering filled the small house and Nesta screamed. Cassian immediately pulled her into himself and covered her body with his.
Beau was barking, but the shattering had stopped. And once Beau realized they weren’t under attack, he quieted down, too, going to sniff at the middle of the room.
The silence was disconcerting. Nesta was quietly crying into Cassian’s chest and he unwound her fingers from in his shirt. He stood, following Beau to where he sniffed. He was careful not to step on the glass, picked Beau up before he could do the same, and herded a shaking Nesta into the bedroom. He calmed her down before coming back out and inspecting the item that had shattered not only serenity of their night, but also their front window.
A brick, with one, solitary word scrawled in baby blue paint:
Congratulations.
#the ranch nessian#theranchnessian#shara collab#sharacollab#snacmc#tacmc snelbz collab#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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The Ranch {17}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
Cassian groaned as he shoveled the last of the manure into the wheelbarrow and Azriel grabbed the handles and pushed it off to the side. With the rain that had blown through the night before, the pen was a muddy, nasty, literal shitty mess. His boots sunk down past his ankles and every step was a battle not to step right out of it, leaving it in the sludge.
The autumn air was finally starting to cool down, but that didn’t stop the sweat from forming on Cassian’s brow. He lifted the hem of his shirt.
“Where’s Nes at today?” Az asked, taking a drink from his bottle. Cassian wasn’t sure if he had water in there or something else, but he shrugged.
“Not sure exactly. She said she had some errands to run and she’d see me later, but that was at eight this morning.”
He suddenly realized he didn’t know how long ago that was. Tomas had been appearing more and more. It seemed like every time the two of them were out, they’d see him.
“I should probably check-in.” He said, pulling his phone from his back pocket. He didn’t even have to open his phone though because he had two missed texts from her.
What time are you meeting me?
And a few minutes after that, he received, Where are you?
It was like a light bulb turned on.
Azriel saw the look on his face. “What happened?”
He looked down at himself, sweaty and up to his knees in manure. “I’m in deep shit.”
Nesta sat in the waiting room, one hand tapping on the side table where her phone was sitting, the other rubbing her growing belly. The bump had decided to finally make its appearance in the last week and both Nesta and Cassian had a hard time not constantly rubbing a loving hand over it.
If he forgot about this appointment, she was going to kill him.
Her phone rang and his name appeared. She tried to keep the bite out of her voice and completely failed as she answered, “Hello.”
“I’m on my way,” he said, in a way of greeting, and it was clear he was completely frazzled.
“They’ll be calling me back any minute, Cass,” she whined, totally not caring that she was whining in a room full of people.
The pregnant ones understood.
“It’s a ten-minute drive, and I’m pulling out of the driveway now,” he said, and true to his word, she could hear the old truck engine revving in the background. “I’m sorry, okay? I was shoveling shit.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “You better be here soon or I’ll have your balls.”
There was a pause. “You may want to pick a different threat, that one kind of turns me on.”
Nesta’s lips tightened. “I’m hanging up now.”
“I love you,” he said.
Nesta sighed, loudly and dramatically. “Love you.” Then she hung up, just as the door to the office opened and a nurse stepped out. “Nesta Archeron?”
Grabbing her purse, Nesta brought herself to her feet and followed the nurse down the hall, all by herself, Cassian-less.
Oh, she would have his balls, for sure.
Thirteen minutes later, Cassian was hurrying into the office, an entire room full of patients turning to stare at him. He hurried to the counter, where a young woman was checking in and he waited, not so patiently. When it was his turn, the receptionist didn’t even glance up as she said “Next.”
Cassian stepped up and said, “My fiancée was called back a few minutes ago. Nesta Archeron?”
She continued typing away at her computer. “And?”
Cassian blinked. “And I need to get back there so I can hear my kid’s heartbeat?”
“Are you on the approved list of guests?”
“Approved list of-? Ma’am, I’m the baby’s father.” He was starting to get frustrated. Nesta was literally going to cut his balls off if he missed their gender appointment.
She finally looked up at him, eyes widening at just how much mud and shit he was covered in. “I’m afraid that doesn’t automatically add you to the list. We have to have Ms. Archeron’s approval before we can let you join her.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Can you ask her?”
She went back to typing. “She’s in an examination. I’m afraid I can’t disturb her.”
“For the love…” Cassian pulled out his phone, dialing Nesta’s number.
She answered on the second ring. “Where are you?”
Lovely. She was pissed.
“I’m here. I’m in the lobby. The receptionist won’t let me back.” He glared at her, but she didn’t look up. He knew she heard him though.
Nesta gasped. “Oh, crap, the approved list of guests. I’ll have my nurse add you now.”
She ended the call and Cassian blinked. Why in the hell did everyone know about this stupid list but him?
A nurse in her late twenties came through a door in the office. She handed a slip to the receptionist that he recognized as Nesta’s signature. The receptionist glanced at it and said, “I’ll need to see your driver’s license, Mister…” She glanced down at the form again. “Nazeeri.”
He pulled out his wallet and handed the ID to her, saying “Nazari.”
She typed some information into the computer, the only time she’d done so where Cassian didn’t assume she was trying to ignore him. She handed him his ID back and said, “Follow Claire.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and did as he was told. As soon as they left the waiting room, Claire said, “Sorry about Jenny. She’s been in a bad mood for the past few weeks.”
“Apparently so,” Cassian mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was led through a winding hallway before following the nurse into an open doorway, where Nesta sat on an examination table, her arms crossed.
She took one look at Cassian's appearance and her lips tightened.
“I was-.”
“Yeah, I know,” she snapped, then laid back against the table. “Let’s just do this.”
Exasperated, Cassian sat down in the chair beside her while Claire, who had already taken Nesta’s vitals and information, went to get the doctor.
“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, when the door was shut and they were alone. “It was either this or go get cleaned up and changed and then being late and missing it all.”
“You’re already late,” she said, staring up at the ceiling.
“Okay,” Cassian said, slower. “Later, then.”
“Isn’t this important to you?” She asked. “We’re finding out the gender-.”
“I know, I know,” he said, quickly, and took her hand in his. “And yeah, it’s pretty fucking important, alright? I just lost track of time, that’s all. It was a mess out there.”
She scrunched her nose and looked at him through her side-eye. “You do smell like shit. No wonder the receptionist didn’t want to let you back here.”
Cassian mumbled something along the lines of approved list, my ass, but stood and kissed her softly. “Hi.”
She smiled. “Hi yourself.”
He sat back down and groaned. “This morning was bad. We got so much rain last night.”
Nesta nodded. “When I went to get the eggs out of dry storage, I nearly stepped into a swamp off the back steps.”
“The pen by the house is flooded,” he said, leaning forward and resting his knees on his elbows. “Az and I spent the whole morning moving the herd to the back pasture. He’s gonna go rent a tractor and clean it out today, but I’d guess that the ‘horseback riding’ won’t be happening before dinner.”
Nesta sighed. She was going to have a lot of angry guests over that. But what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t control the weather.
The door opened and the doctor stepped in. “Miss Archeron, how are we feeling today?”
“Good,” she sighed, all things considered. “I’ve yet to puke so far today, so I’m considering it a win.”
The doctor chuckled and pulled up a stool to Nesta’s side. “Well, your vitals look great so all we have to do now is take a look at this baby. Are you ready?”
Nesta nodded, her hand tightening in Cassian’s as the doctor switched the monitor on and pulled out the little device that would be moving over Nesta’s abdomen.
She hated that thing.
It was always unusually cold.
“Pull up your shirt for me, and lower your waistband,” her doctor smiled, waiting patiently as Nesta did so, then she looked up at the screen and waited.
The probe touched her belly and the screen was met with black static, then, a tiny little, gray-blurred being appeared. Cassian couldn’t really tell what was what, but he knew from Nesta’s smile that they were looking at the baby.
Their baby.
He sat in awe, his hand still in his fiancée’s as the doctor showed them the little feet, the little hands, the little head and lips and nose. The baby was real, growing inside of her, it was actually happening - she was becoming a mother. He was going to be a father.
When they were done making sure the baby was growing as it should be, after the measurements were taken and some pictures were snapped, the doctor asked, “Would you still like to know the gender?”
Nesta nodded. “Yes, please, but don’t actually tell us.”
He chuckled. “Gender reveal party?”
She nodded.
He turned the monitor away and typed a few things on the screen, before he printed three black and white images. They went straight into an opaque envelope and he sealed it before handing it to Cassian. “Congratulations.”
He extended a hand and Cassian hesitated, looking down at his own dirty hand. “I don’t think you want to. It’s exactly what you think it is.”
He laughed and said, “Understood. Miss Archeron, I’ll see you in four weeks. Keep an eye on that blood pressure.”
She nodded. “Yes, sir, thank you, Dr. Brigham.”
He smiled and left the room and Cassian slowly turned to look at her. She was beaming and Cassian could barely stand how gorgeous she was.
Pregnancy was treating Nesta well. Her morning sickness was still abhorrent and her back constantly hurt, but aside from that, it wasn’t bad. Her emotions had mellowed out, for the most part, and with Azriel and Maggie’s help around the B&B, they had been able to handle everything they’d thrown at them.
Except for Nesta’s nightly nightmares.
She’d spoken to Dr. Brigham about them and he assured Nesta that weird sleep habits were just a part of pregnancy, including nightmares. So every night, Nesta would wake up in a cold sweat, never remembering anything but the dream. She’d always say the same thing, though:
“He’s getting closer”.
“How does lunch sound?” Cassian asked, helping her off the examination table. “I’m starving.”
Nesta chuckled, “You stink.”
He shrugged. “We’ll sit outside. Come on, baby, when is the last time we got to spend time together that wasn’t about the B&B?
He skimmed his thumb over her cheekbone and she melted into his touch. “Fine. Lunch. But then we have to get back.”
Cassian nodded and flipped the envelope in his fingers. He held it up. “Our baby is in here.”
She laughed again. “Actually, she’s in here.” Nesta lovingly rubbed her stomach.
He raised an eyebrow. “She? Did you see something on that ultrasound that I didn’t?” His eyes narrowed. “Did you peek?”
“No!” She laughed, shaking her head and taking his hand. “Just a...feeling I have. Call it mother’s intuition.”
They left the room and headed back to the lobby, where Nesta made her follow up appointment with the surly faced receptionist. They got to their vehicles and Cassian looked at the envelope again. He glanced up at Nesta. “I’m gonna open it.”
She snatched it from him and stuffed it into her purse. “I’m taking this directly to the bakery.”
“Not even going to let your sisters see it?” Cassian asked, leaning against the truck.
She snorted. “Of course not, they’d tell one of us before the end of the day.”
Cassian laughed, his hand lovingly caressing her bump, and said “I’ll meet you at the restaurant. I love you both.”
She leaned up and kissed him, “I love you, too.”
Cassian got into his truck, the engine roaring to life, and headed off in the direction of the restaurant while Nesta walked the ultrasound to the bakery across the square.
She had the sensation of being watched the whole time, had felt someone’s eyes on her since they walked out of the doctor’s office. As she climbed back in her car, she fought the urge to look around and find him.
She knew he was there, but after so many calls to the police where he’d done nothing except be present, she knew she just had to ignore him. He was in a public place, so was she. There was nothing illegal about what he was doing. He has valid reasons to be where he went, so it couldn’t even be considered stalking, only coincidence and happenstance.
But as she backed out of her parking spot and headed to lunch, she saw him in her rearview mirror. And the look in his eyes said he wouldn’t be content to do nothing forever.
She was safe with Cassian, though.
She believed that, wholeheartedly, which only made her want to haul ass to the restaurant quicker. He was already there when she pulled up, waiting for her at a table outside.
She raised her brows as she walked up to meet him. “Did you order?”
He blinked, then looked down at his appearance. “Do you really want me greeting more strangers like this today?”
Nesta laughed, breathlessly, as she shook her head. “I’ll go inside.”
The little BBQ joint was only a few miles from their house. Nesta went inside and ordered a heap of food, because everything sounded delicious and she just couldn’t choose. After she ordered and went to head back outside, she froze by the door, because she noticed that red truck that had pulled into the far parking space.
Her hands began to shake, nausea began to roll in the pit of her stomach. She slowly looked at Cassian to see if he’d noticed.
He was scrolling through his phone, lost to the world around him. She was thankful she’d ordered their food to go, not because they had planned on leaving, but because there was so much of it. Now, all it would take was a quick mention of nausea and Cassian would go into overprotective daddy mode and take her straight home.
But then he’d also take her straight to bed, and she had too much to do today, on top of feeling well enough to actually take care of the things she needed done.
Cassian finally noticed her frozen on the sidewalk and he smiled at her, but it faltered when he noticed her expression. “What is it?”
She shook her head. “Nothing, just…” She glanced down at the cups in her hand. “Just realized I forgot to fill up our drinks.”
He stood, taking them and kissing her. “You’re looking tired, baby. I’ll get them, you sit that gorgeous self down and I’ll be right back.”
She wanted to protest, to tell him she’d go with him, but she nodded and smiled, sitting where she could see the red truck. She didn’t want her back to him. She needed to be able to see him.
Cassian was quick, and a moment later, he’d come back with not only their drinks, but three plastic bags full of food.
“Ready? We can eat in the cabin. Or outside, somewhere-.”
“Ready,” Nesta breathed, taking her lemonade from him and strutting to her car, where she shut herself inside. “See you at home,” she said to Cassian as he walked behind her, a worried expression on his face as she raced home.
He watched Nesta drive away before pulling himself, and their feast, into the truck. He had seen Tomas, of course, and was watching the red truck now as he pulled onto the road in his rearview mirror. He was hoping Nesta wouldn’t, though, didn’t want to cause her any more worry or stress. So, naturally, around Nesta, Cassian pretended that Tomas didn’t exist.
When he went in to get their drinks, he kept one eye on her the entire time, the other on Tomas out of the tall, glass windows.
They couldn’t spend their lives being scared.
Although Cassian wasn’t scared of Tomas, he was just pissed off. He talked to Azriel and Rhys about it on multiple occasions, but they told him that he should just lay low, there was no point in doing something stupid that would land him in jail while his pregnant fiancée, and Tomas, were still out there.
He had to do something, though.
He was tired of doing nothing.
He was tired of Nesta being afraid, of having the nightmares, of calling the cops only to be told that nothing could be done.
But he didn’t voice a word of it to Nesta.
She had enough going on.
He was back at the ranch within minutes, staying right behind Nesta the entire time. Once they’d pulled onto the main road, he hadn’t been able to see Tomas’s truck anymore.
And that was almost worse than knowing he was with them. Not knowing.
She parked her little car in front of the cabin and waited until Cassian was out of the truck and walking towards her to open her door.
He asked, “You saw him, didn’t you?” A silent nod. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She shrugged. “I didn’t want to worry you. I just wanted to have a nice lunch with my fiancé, but everywhere I turn, my demons are there.”
He set the bags down on the top of her car and wrapped here up in his arms. “He will never, never hurt you again, Nesta. I promise you that. He’ll never get close enough to try.”
She nodded and he kissed the top of her head. “Come on, let’s go inside and eat.”
She made a face of disgust and said, “I’m not hungry now.”
He sighed and said, “How about a relaxing bath, and then we’ll eat?”
“Yes, please,” she sighed. “I’ll go start the water if you put the food away.”
“Deal,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.
He watched her walk to the back of the house, towards the bathroom and the huge tub in the corner. He waited until the water started running to make a phone call.
He pulled the business card out of his back pocket, deciding that no matter how nice they were, lawyers always looked like scumbags.
The law offices of Vanserra and Family answered and he asked to be patched through to one of the defense attorneys.
“Lucien Vanserra.”
Cassian said, “Luce, hey. It’s Cassian. I know this isn’t exactly your area of expertise, but you got a minute?”
In hushed tones, he explained the situation with Tomas, asking what their options were.
Lucien laid it out for him, basically telling him that they were doing all that they could.
“My only real suggestions,” he said and paused, and Cassian could hear tapping in the background. The drummer never could stop, even at his big kid job. “Start keeping track of when and where you see him. He’s got to be finding out where you are somehow. See if you can notice a pattern of some sorts.”
Cassian nodded, putting the food in the refrigerator. “I can do that. Anything else?”
He heard Lucien sigh. “I’d say a restraining order, but he hasn’t approached either of you since you asked him not to, right? Just shows up...waits?”
He nodded again and then remembered on the phone, he had to speak. “Yeah, never engages, he’s just always there.”
“Then like I said, keep track of when and where you see him.” Lucien added, “And maybe carry a gun.”
He snorted. “You act like I already don’t.”
Lucien laughed and the line was quiet for a minute. “Be careful, Cass. This guy has already made the first move once. What’s to stop him from doing so again?”
The comment sent ice into his veins, but he didn’t want Lucien to realize that, so he joked, “Dude, what are you, a defense lawyer, a criminal or a cop?”
A dark chuckle. “All three. It’s my job to outsmart the police,” Lucien crooned. “Why do you think I’m so good at it?”
“Today is one of those days that I’m glad you’re on our side.” Cass heard the water turn off in the bathroom. “I gotta go, man. Thanks for your help. Send me a bill for your time.”
Lucien laughed and said, “It’s pro bono, as long as you let me defend you when you kill him.”
Cassian chuckled, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He hung up and went into his bedroom. Their bedroom. Soon to be their only room, with a baby.
Cassian hadn’t thought about their living situation until just a few weeks ago when Nesta had been looking at the bedroom wall with an intensity that worried him. When he’d asked what she was looking at, she said she was trying to decide which wall to put the crib on.
Nesta should have been planning the nursery of her dreams, picking out paint colors and themes; should have been helping him put furniture together by explaining the confusing instructions.
Instead she was deciding which piece of furniture to shove out of the way to make room for their child to have somewhere to sleep.
Cassian stripped off his shirt in the bedroom, tossing it directly in the hamper. He walked into the bathroom and found Nesta sitting in the tub. When she saw him, she gave him a soft smile and scooted forward. Stripping off his jeans and socks, he stepped into space she’d given him and sat down, stretching his legs out on both sides of her body. He wrapped his arms around her and began rubbing slow circles on her belly with his thumbs.
Nesta leaned back, loving how safe she felt in Cassian’s arms, how at home it was.
Cassian was amazed at how much Nesta’s belly had been growing in the recent weeks. At first, he felt like it had taken her so long to show at all, now there was a little bump, his baby inside, growing rapidly.
Hopefully the baby was fairly average.
Cassian had been a giant baby, always tall and broad shouldered, even at birth. He weighed nearly thirteen pounds.
If Nesta was going to give birth to a thirteen pound baby, he was pretty sure she’d be kicking his ass and taking away his rights to give her more children.
“So,” he began, quietly, “when is this gender reveal party when I can find out the sex of my own child.”
Nesta snorted and looked up at him over her shoulder. “Tonight, for dinner.”
Cassian blinked. “The bakery is giving you something by tonight?”
“Feyre’s going to pick it up on her way,” Nesta said. “It will only be the six of us, so we can just do it here.”
Cassian nodded, slowly, suddenly feeling guilty, once again, about how much space they had privately available. But Nesta had worked so hard on the B&B, had made her father’s dream a reality.
“You’re in deep thought about something,” Nesta murmured, running her fingers over his knees.
“I want to build a house,” Cassian said. “Here, on the property.”
Nesta’s fingers froze. “We have a house. Three, in fact.”
“This little one bedroom place? And, my cabin? You’re counting those as houses?” Cassian said. “I mean, they’re great for when we were just alone, Nes, and I love my cabin, and intend to keep it there for when I piss you off and you kick me out for the night, which will happen at some point, I’m sure of it…” Nesta chuckled and flicked his knee as he continued, “Look, I just….We don’t have any room for the baby, Nes. And I intend to defy the odds and give you more kids at some point, and what then? We can’t stay in this place, or the cabin, or the main house, with all the guests…”
Nesta nodded, slowly, before leaning back, resting her head against his chest, once more. She looked up at him and he met her eyes. “I know. I’ve thought about that a lot lately, too.”
Cassian took her hands off his knees and intertwined their fingers together. “I just want you to be somewhere where you’re comfortable and not feel like we’re all living on top of one another. I mean, me alone...I’m a giant. Lying down, in the bedroom, I can nearly touch one wall with my hands, and the other with my feet.”
Nesta laughed, breathlessly. “I suppose you can.”
Cassian’s eyes softened as he brought her fingers to his mouth and pressed his lips against her skin, softly. “We need more room. I do, you do, the baby does, all future Nazari babies do.”
“Gods, how many kids do you plan on putting inside of me?” Nesta muttered.
“As many as I can,” he muttered.
She paused for a moment, looking at their joined hands, then asked, “And what if this is the only one we have?”
Cassian tilted her chin up so that she met his gaze. “Then I’ll still be the happiest man alive.” She smiled softly and kissed him.
It was then that she felt it. Not quite a movement, but a small flutter. Small enough that she thought she might have imagined it, had it not repeated it right after.
She softly gasped. “Cass!” She grabbed his hand and placed it under hers where she’d just felt the flutter.
It happened once more, but Cassian said, “I can’t feel anything.”
Nesta began to cry. “I can. I can feel her.” It was overwhelming, going these months of constantly feeling sick and crying and craving weird foods, only having a belly to show for it.
But now, not only had she seen her baby today, she’d also felt it. “She’s in there and she’s healthy and happy.”
If Nesta was crying, it usually meant Cassian had done something wrong. But seeing her cry tears of joys…
In that moment, her smile had never been brighter, her eyes had never sparkled so brilliantly.
Cassian didn’t move, didn’t say a word. He simply watched her, dwelled in her excitement, watched as she expressed joy, relief, excitement. She sighed, and wiped at her eyes as Cassian continued to run his hands over her stomach.
He couldn’t wait to feel that baby kick, but he would, for now. He’d let her be in love with those little feelings that only a mother could feel.
He didn’t even bother to tell her that she called the baby she again.
He swore she looked on her way to the bakery, but he’d keep that confident suspicion to himself.
“Happy and healthy,” he repeated, and kissed the back of her neck. “And very well loved.”
“Yeah,” Nesta agreed, quietly. “She is.”
They stayed like that for a while, snuggled together in the tub, silent and comforting, until the water began to cool. Then Cassian was out and helped out his fiancée, dried off, and warmed up their food.
After they ate, Nesta went to check on the guests that remained in the B&B while Cassian cleaned up around the little house, considering four more people would be inside in a couple of hours. Azriel, it seemed, got enough taken care of for today and told Cassian to relax.
Cassian hated relaxing.
So, he cleaned. By the time he was done, the little house was spotless.
Around four-thirty, Elain came bounding up the stairs, bursting through the door. “Nesta said you had the ultrasound pictures.” She held out her hand, opening and closing it. “Gimme.”
Cassian was sitting on the couch, watching a roping, and drinking a beer. He stared at her. “You know they don’t have the sex of the baby on there, right?”
She sat down on the couch next to him and said, “Come on, Cass, you have to know! I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
He laughed. “Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell you.”
“Ugh, why do you have to be so loyal?” She slumped back on the couch. “Where is Nes anyway?”
He got up to get a fresh beer, grabbing one for Elain, and said, “Up at the house, playing host to the guests.”
“Why’d you say it like that?” Elain asked when he sat back down.
He sighed. “I’m just worried it’s too much. With Tamlin’s trial wrapping up and the baby coming. Not to mention all the Tomas bullshit.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “What about Tomas?”
He took a swig of beer. “Nes hasn’t told you?” She shook her head. “He’s practically stalking her, but he only does it in public places, and he never speaks. It’s…freaky.”
Elain blinked, then took a long, deep breath. “Have you-.”
“Called Lucien this morning,” Cassian began, before she could even finish the sentence. “There’s nothing that can be done until he actually commits a crime. Unfortunately. But it really has her on edge, you know? She never wants to go anywhere, never wants to do anything because she knows she’ll run into him. I have to figure out how he knows where she’s going. After I know that, Luce can make something happen...he thinks.”
Elain sighed, her face in her hands. “I hate that guy.”
“That’s a pretty popular opinion around here,” Cassian muttered, strutting into the kitchen to pull out the meat he’d be grilling soon. “I don’t know what to do about it.”
When he looked at Elain, she was leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, nibbling on her bottom lip. It seems she didn’t know, either, and Cassian felt oddly guilty for killing her giddy vibe.
“Anyway,” Cassian went on, pulling out a beer and popping the can open. “Enough of that. Why are you here so early? Aside from hounding me about my unborn child.” Elain chuckled, although the worry lingered in her eyes. “I brought decorations, of course.”
“Of course,” Cassian laughed.
Elain eyed the beer in Cassian’s hand then looked back into the living room, where the one he’d just gotten, minutes before, sat. “Are you intending to get drunk before this thing? Because, if so, warn me now. I need to know when it’s time to cut you off. How many have you had?”
Cassian just rolled his eyes. “Calm down, mother, I can take care of myself.”
Elain just narrowed her eyes.
Cassian cleared his throat. “I’ll...pace myself.”
“Good,” she said. “Now, help me, tall person.”
First, Cassian brought out the ultrasound picture they had left on the counter, the one they were going to get framed, and let Elain ogle over it for nearly twenty minutes. Then, Cassian was helping tape up an absurd amount of streamers all over the little house, only stopping when Elain was satisfied.
Quiet voices streamed through the open windows about an hour later, and Cassian opened the door to find Nesta and Feyre walking up to the little house, arm and arm. It was good to see her in such a good place with her sisters. It wasn’t so long ago that Nesta had just come back and found Feyre’s hand smacking her in the side of the face.
But now it seemed like a whole different lifetime.
“Where’s the cake?” Elain asked, after they’d come in and Nesta was telling which spices to get down for the dry rub she’d been craving.
Feyre was setting the table. “Rhysand is getting it when he gets here. I left it in the back of the fridge at the house.”
Cassian looked around, noticing he was drastically outnumbered by the Archeron girls. “Speaking of Rhys, where is he? And where’s Az? He told me at, like, two-thirty that he could handle what was left and I should rest.”
The girls remained silent, all with a familiar glint in their eyes.
Cassian stilled. “Oh, shit, I don’t like that look.”
“They’ll be here,” Elain promised. “Az went home a little while ago to shower. He got done what he was supposed to, don’t worry.”
“Okay,” Cassian began, slowly, unable to judge that damned Archeron look.
Nesta met him on the porch and kissed his cheek. “They’ll be here soon.”
And they were, about half an hour later with bottles full of cheap, shitty whiskey. Apparently it was a night of celebration, not only over their gender reveal, but over the fact that they had recently become engaged, had opened a successful B&B, and now were only mere months away from giving birth to their first child.
No wonder Elain was so worried about his afternoon beer consumption.
Apparently, he had a long night ahead of him.
He grilled steaks and chicken behind the little house and they ate and drank and bonded, which was something Cassian felt didn’t happen a lot lately. He saw them all, sure, from time to time - Azriel the most often - but, they rarely were able to all get together.
After dinner, Rhysand went and got the cake from the main house. It was a little cake, just enough for them all to have a slice.
“Okay, so, apparently, when we cut it open, the inside will be either blue or pink,” Nesta explained. “So.” She had the knife in her hand and was staring at the cake, but she didn’t move to cut it. She cleared her throat. “So.”
Elain was practically bouncing out of her shoes. “So, so, so! If you don’t do it right now, I’m going to!”
Azriel just put his hands on Elain’s shoulders, silently telling her to calm down, but his smile was bright and humored.
Nesta looked up at Cass, biting her bottom lip.
He asked, “You ready?”
“No. Yes.” She was absolutely glowing, happier than her sisters ever remembered her being. “Here.” She gave the knife to Cassian. “I’m liable to start crying the moment I see a color, so you should probably do the honors.”
He chuckled and turned the cake around, where only he and Nesta could see it and carefully sliced the knife through once. It came out clean, just the tiniest bit of white frosting clinging to the edge.
One more cut.
They saw it at the same time.
“Oh, shit.”
“Oh, my god.”
Elain was practically breathless when she demanded, “What is it?”
Cassian looked down at Nesta, who was already crying, and turned the plate around.
Revealing the pink cake inside.
Elain was instantly crying, and Feyre was looking at Rhysand with a look that said she had mad baby fever.
But Cassian just looked down at Nesta, at the tears in her eyes and the smile on her lips, and kissed her, softly. “You were right.”
She rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Of course, I was. Get used to that.”
He cursed, silently. Not only was he marrying Nesta Archeron, but he was about to have a tiny version of her running around, too. He had a feeling those stubborn genes of hers were stubborn themselves.
“Hmmm,” he mumbled, at last, which only made her grin widen. She kissed him, once more, before cutting the cake up for everyone to share.
A girl.
They were having a girl.
Cassian hoped and prayed that she would be just like her mother.
An hour later Nesta was staring her fiancé down, hands on her hips. He had taken up a very similar posture. “Call me if you need me.”
“I will be with my sisters,” Nesta said. “And I’m not far away. I’ll be fine.”
Her voice was reassuring, she tried her best to be reassuring, but the look in Cassian’s eyes told her that she’d woken up in a cold sweat one too many times.
“You’re just going to the cabin,” Nesta said, then gestured over to the little, old cabin, where Beau ran around in front of it. He hadn’t stopped since they told him the baby was going to be a girl. “Try not to let those two assholes get you too drunk.” She gestured to where Azriel and Rhysand waited at the bottom of the stairs.
Cassian snorted, and kissed her softly. “No promises.”
Then he was walking away, all of them carrying a ridiculous amount of alcohol as they crossed the grass, then the driveway, and entered the cabin.
Nesta went inside of her little house, where her sisters had poured themselves a glass of wine.
After plopping down in her armchair, Nesta scowled. “I want a glass of wine so bad.”
“A few more months,” Feyre winked.
Nesta settled her hands lovingly over her bump.
Her baby girl.
“And then some,” she said. “Breastfeeding.”
“Allow us to make a toast in your favor,” Elain said, lifting her glass filled with wine in the air. “To baby girl Nazari.”
She clinked her glass against Feyre’s and they both took a drink. Nesta couldn’t help but laugh at the display.
“When is Azriel going to propose?” Nesta asked, a minute later.
Elain nearly choked on her wine.
“It has been a while,” Feyre mumbled, eyeing the middle sister.
Elain sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I just wanna grab him by the neck and tell him to get on with it.”
Nesta snorted. “You should. And make sure you tell me when you do. I wanna be there to see that.”
Feyre laughed, but her eyes were on Elain. “He’ll come around to it,” Elain stated, and she sounded confident in that statement. “But, there is something I want to ask you about.”
Nesta’s smile faded as she realized her sister was talking to her.
“Cassian mentioned that Tomas has been….stalking you,” Elain went on, fiddling with the stem of her wine glass.
Her reaction confirmed the statement. She was white as death, her eyes haunted, but she cleared her throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’ve run into each other a few times, but-.”
“Cut the bullshit,” Feyre said, cutting her off. “Cass himself told Elain and Rhys told me.”
“How long has this been going on?” Elain asked.
“Nothing’s going on.” Nesta said, looking at the television.
“Nesta,” Feyre said, her tone forcing Nesta to look. “You’re protecting your stomach. Look me dead in the eye and tell me nothing is going on.”
Nesta glanced down. Where she’d been rubbing soothing circles over her belly, she was now nearly hunched over it, an arm over it.
A long, slow breath escaped her before she said, “Since the brick went through the window.”
Elain and Feyre remained silent, but then Elain said, quietly, “Nesta, that was weeks ago. Months ago.”
“Yeah,” Nesta muttered.
“Nesta,” Feyre began, shaking her head. “You should’ve told-.”
“Why?” Nesta interrupted. “So you could’ve done what exactly? If the law, the officials can’t do anything, neither can you.”
Her sisters remained silent, and Nesta instantly felt guilty. She shouldn’t snap at them. They were only concerned, it wasn’t their fault.
“I just...give me one night when I’m not thinking about it,” Nesta said. “Please.”
“Okay,” Elain breathed. “Well, do you have any names picked out?”
“Yeah, we...” Nesta paused and hesitated, and then she felt that small flutter inside of her once more. That small movement that was hers and hers alone. She could see Cassian’s face earlier, after she’d first felt their daughter, the disappointment when he couldn’t say the same.
So she would give him this. She’d keep their names to herself, for now, so he could have that feeling, too.
She just knew her sisters weren’t going to like it.
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The Ranch {12}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
The Ranch Masterlist
Nesta looked around at all she had done in the last few months. She had taken the run down B&B and turned it into something polished and classy - ranch chic, she kept referring to it, which only made Cassian roll his eyes every time she described the ranch in his presence.
But she liked to think that he secretly liked the term.
After making sure all the rooms that were being used that day were organized as they should be, she wandered into the kitchen, where the caterers were setting up, and peeked out the back window. Chairs were being lined up with the help of Cassian and Azriel in a long semi-circle, all facing the wooden arch draped with flowers and greenery.
When Feyre and Rhysand’s venue had to cancel weeks before their wedding due to bad flooding from the bad storm the month before, Nesta had suggested the ranch before the panic could settle in. She and Elain promised they would take care of everything. It was the least Nesta could do after being a shit sister for a decade.
Now, the big day was here and everything was going smoothly. Perhaps it was the nerves of having so many people on the land or the fact that the grand opening of the B&B was quickly approaching, but Nesta had been nauseous and nervous all morning.
Damned anxiety.
“Nesta!”
Her sister’s frantic voice sent her running back up the stairs, coffee mug in hand.
Feyre sat at the vanity in her old bedroom, while Mor curled, pinned and perfected her hair. She was drinking a mimosa through a straw, careful not to mess up her lipstick.
“Everything alright?” She asked, setting the cup in front of Mor who mouthed thank you, before continuing to work.
“I forgot my hairpins at the apartment.” She could see Feyre’s eyes welling up with tears and knew Mor would go ballistic if Feyre’s makeup was messed up for a second time, even though the bouquet of roses Rhys had sent as a surprise were gorgeous.
“Don’t cry,” Nesta said, voice calm. “Let me see what I can do.”
Feyre sipped from the straw and nodded, blue-gray eyes wide and teary.
Nesta opened the door to the master bedroom, the one room she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do anything to, and entered the large walk-in closet. She’d decided she wasn’t going to rent the room out, would keep it for family and in case she needed to stay in the house for any reason. Or if she and Cassian just couldn’t make it to one of the other houses.
She blushed, thinking about how he’d taken her against the banister the night before while they were cleaning. Sometimes the man just couldn’t be stopped. Not that she was complaining.
She located the jewelry box tucked in the back of a shelf, and opened it. She knew what she was looking for, but wasn’t even sure if they were in the box, much less if they were even still in the family. But nestled in the bottom, she found the intricate, jeweled pins.
Their mother was a rancher’s wife through and through, but she was never able to give up her love of beauty. A former pageant queen, her hair and makeup were always pristine, even when she was helping breach a calf or roll out a bale of hay. And Nesta has always loved these pins.
She locked the bedroom door as she left and hurried across the hall.
“How about these?” She held them out for Feyre and Mor to see.
Mor nodded and looked at Feyre for confirmation. Feyre didn’t notice though, as her eyes were locked onto Nesta’s outstretched hand.
“Are those...mom’s?” She asked, voice soft.
Nesta nodded. “I found them in her jewelry box. If you don’t like them, I can-.”
She shook her and cleared her throat. “No, they’re perfect.”
Nesta couldn’t place the emotion in Feyre’s voice. She’d been young when their mother passed, didn’t have as many memories with her, and none were particularly fond.
Nesta set down the pins on the vanity so Mor could continue to work her magic.
“Anything else?” Nesta asked, still trying to gauge Feyre’s emotions she slowly backed out of the room.
“No,” Feyre said, downing the rest of her drink. “Actually, another mimosa sounds nice.”
“Okay,” Nesta said, hesitantly, but she wouldn’t argue with the bride. But when she got to the kitchen, Cassian had stepped inside and was standing on the rug, staring longingly at the fridge.
Nesta blinked, crossing her arms as she entered the room. “Problem?”
“Beer,” he said, pointing to the fridge. “My boots are dirty.”
Considered they had spent the entire day before scrubbing the house, Nesta had to admire the fact that he thought about such things.
Laughing under her breath, she went to the fridge, retrieved a cold beer, and walked in back to him on the mat.
“You could’ve just taken your shoes off,” Nesta said, handing it to him.
“I could’ve,” he agreed, voice light, as he pulled her into him by her outstretched hand. He kissed her, softly. “You look tense.”
She shrugged one shoulder, resting her head against his chest, careful not to mess up her hair which had been intricately braided off her face. “I wouldn’t say tense. I just…” She glanced out the window again, to where everything was coming together now that Elain was adding greenery and flowers on every spare surface. “I want everything to be perfect. It’s the least I can do after-.”
“Hey.” He interrupted her, but his voice was gentle, the words were firm. It was a conversation they’d had dozens of times by this point. He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Your sisters love you. They have forgiven you for leaving, even though you were doing what was best for you at the time. You don’t have to keep atoning for it.”
She nodded and Cassian pressed a kiss to her forehead. He pulled back and looked at her, resting the back of his fingers on her cheek. “Are you okay? You feel clammy, baby.”
She shook her head. “I’m okay. Just nervous for...everything.”
He smiled softly and nodded, understanding immediately.
The B&B would be officially re-opening in two weeks and they were booked all the way through the holidays. Nesta was worried she was getting in over her head, but on the nights when she awoke in a panicked, cold sweat, Cassian would pull her into his arms until she could breathe again.
He’d sleepily ask her what her “stupid ten step process for success” was and he’d listen quietly while she listed them. Then he’d ask her what she was specifically worried about. Sometimes she had a reason and they’d talk it through. But more often not, when she admitted that she didn’t know, he’d kiss her and rub her back until she dozed back off.
No one had ever loved her the way Cassian Nazari loved her.
Instead of making her feel like a burden for her anxieties, he wanted to help her work through them. When she’d snap at him after a long day, he’d make some smart ass response, often angering her further, but she’d soon realize he was just trying to distract her. She’d find him and wouldn’t even have to say anything before he’d wrap her in his arms and press a kiss to the top of her head.
He embraced all of the things she hated about herself and he loved them for her.
“Have a drink,” he suggested, cracking open his beer. He grinned as she rolled her eyes, and kissed her one last time before taking his can with him back out onto the porch.
“I’ve got to get ready,” he said, looking back at her as he meandered back into the warm sunlight. “Or else the bride will have my balls.”
“True,” Nesta laughed, leaning against the doorframe as she watched him walk away. “Use the lavender soap, you stink.”
“It’s my natural musk,” he protested, boots thudding down the porch steps.
Nesta chuckled, watching him jog while chugging his beer, heading down the long dirt path to his cabin.
She sighed, as a cool breeze kissed her face and she smiled. She never stopped being amazed that someone like Cassian could be hers, that he chose her over everyone else.
Her phone vibrated in her back pocket and she checked it.
You were looking at my butt, weren’t you?
She looked down the path, where he had disappeared before replying. Obviously.
She had taken a step back into the kitchen, where the caterers had vacated. She had told Feyre that she’d love to cater, but she hadn’t had enough hands for the 150 guests they had invited. Besides, Feyre had protested, claiming that she wanted her sister to not have to worry about a thing, as she was now a very important part of the bridal party.
Which she really had to finish getting ready for. Mor had already done Nesta’s hair but she was going to do her own makeup alongside Elain, who would be back any second with the bouquets.
Her phone vibrated, once more, just as she was about to get Feyre’s mimosa refill.
Well now I’m turned on, damn it, come shower with me.
Nesta snorted at the words on her screen. She sent him the middle finger emoji as the image of him in the shower flashed through her mind. She let that image linger as she filled her sister’s mimosa request.
“Sorry I’m late, I’m here!” Elain blew through the backdoor, a whirlwind of white lilies and lavender cosmos, scaring the shit out of Nesta and making her jump, sloshing orange juice across the counter.
Elain set the vases holding their bouquets on the table and asked, “How’s Feyre holding up?”
Nesta was wiping everything down with a damp paper towel, and held out the glass. Elain took it from her as she said, “This is her fourth mimosa.”
Elain sighed, “Oh, that’s not so bad-.”
“Since lunch,” Nesta added, pulling two more champagne flutes from the cabinet.
Elain muttered, “Oh, gods.”
“Exactly, so,” Nesta said, pouring two more glasses of champagne, and topping them with orange juice. “Go give that to Future Mrs. Lunasa and then come meet me in the bathroom so I can do your makeup while Mor finishes her hair.”
“Deal,” Elain said, and followed her sister’s directions. Nesta took one more quick look around the grounds, making sure everything was going as it should, before meeting Elain in the bathroom. While Nesta did Elain’s makeup, she confessed that she thought Azriel would be proposing any day. He’d been dropping little hints, so Elain thought, and Nesta had to admit that she saw it, too.
It was nice to see her sister so happy, being loved by such a gentle, genuine soul.
“And if he does propose?” Nesta asked, finishing the pink stain on Elain’s plump lips. “Do you already have it all planned out? Your wedding?”
“Of course,” Elain said, smiling brightly. “Same wedding I planned when I was ten.”
Nesta laughed as Elain looked in the mirror and beamed. She turned, fishing through her makeup bag for her concealer.
“What about Cassian?” Elain asked.
The question brought Nesta up short. She froze, blinking a few times as she processed what she’d just been asked. “What about him?” She asked, applying the concealer and blending it.
“Things have been going well,” Elain prodded, wanting Nesta to give her the saucy details like Feyre was so prone to. “Have you thought about whether he might…”
Nesta raised an eyebrow, raising her glass to her lips. She needed something stronger than champagne. “Might what?”
“Might ask you to marry him, of course.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Nesta nearly sprayed orange juice and champagne all over the bathroom. “We’ve only been together for three months!”
“Officially three months,” Elain corrected. “You’ve been sleeping together for four.”
Nesta rolled her eyes as she mixed highlighter into the concealer and dabbed it onto her cheekbone. “So romantic.” Elain stared at her in the mirror. “It’s only been three months. We’re not talking about this.”
“And?” She said, crossing her arms. “You’re perfect for each other.”
“That doesn’t mean we should rush into a marriage!”
Elain’s smile was soft but her eyes were full of mischief as she said, “Whatever you say.”
“Whatever I say?” Nesta repeated. “You better not bring this subject up to him.”
“Why is that?” Elain asked, looking at herself in the mirror one final time. “And that isn’t something I’d do at all.”
“That’s exactly something you’d do,” Nesta muttered. “And I’m fully aware that he calls you for every little thing, so don’t be getting any ideas of trying to persuade him into a proposal.”
“Oh, Nesta,” Elain sighed, shaking her head as she picked up a blending sponge to assist her older sister. “It’s cute how you think he needs persuading.”
Nesta closed her eyes and sighed, fully intending to say something snarky back that Cassian would have been proud of, but when she opened her eyes, she clamped a hand over her mouth, and rushed to the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach.
“Oh shit,” Elain cried, rushing over and pulling the length of Nesta’s hair over her shoulder, and holding it back. After she heaved another two times, and was clear there wouldn’t be a third, she asked, “Are you okay?”
Nesta nodded, grabbing some toilet paper and wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet. “I’m fine, I just need to brush my teeth. I’ve been a wreck over the opening and knowing everyone will be here today…”
Elain’s face softened. “Oh, honey. You should have told us you were nervous. We’ve been available to help with whatever you need.”
Nesta shook her head. “You’ve been so busy with Feyre’s florals and she’s been busy with everything else, Cass and I have taken care of it all.” She made her way to the sink and quickly brushed her teeth. After rinsing her mouth and making sure she hadn’t somehow wrecked her hair, Nesta continued, “Besides, there’s nothing I’m specifically worried about. It’s just me, overthinking things, as always.”
Elain’s eyes softened. Nesta could tell she wanted to say something more, but she just nodded. “Well, let me get you some water, at least, and when I come back I’ll finish your makeup. Okay?”
“Thanks,” Nesta breathed, and when Elain left, she fell down in the chair they had brought into the middle of the bathroom floor. She closed her eyes to try and tame her racing heart, but it did no good. She pulled out her phone to see if Cassian had texted, which he had, but there were no words.
Instead it was a picture of Beau, the ring bearer, wearing a bow tie hooked to his collar. Nesta chuckled to herself before putting her phone on the counter. Once Elain came back, she tentatively sipped from the water bottle she’d brought as Elain finished up her makeup.
Then, the announcement came.
“Alright, bridesmaids!” Mor called from down the hall. “Come see the bride!”
They hurried back into her bedroom, where Mor was pinning Feyre’s veil into place.
“Feyre,” Elain breathed, a hand over her mouth. “You look so beautiful.”
And she did, with her smokey eye and loose waves, her dress shimmering like the stars with every movement she made.
She was about to cry and Feyre, emotions fueled by the mimosas, bless her heart, was already tearing up.
She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. “I’m about to get married.”
Mor pressed a kiss to Feyre’s cheek and quietly left the room, giving the sisters a moment of privacy.
Nesta watched as Elain moved and embraced their sister. Feyre hugged her, but her eyes lifted and connected with Nesta’s identical pair. She smiled softly, and Nesta returned it, stepping closer.
“Sort of makes us look bad, you know,” she said, gesturing to Elain and herself, sitting on the foot of the bed. “The youngest getting married first.” She winked and Feyre laughed, while Elain hurried down to the kitchen where she’d left their bouquets.
She came back a moment later, bouquets in hand.
“Here,” she said to Feyre, handing her the most extravagant one.
For a moment, as Feyre turned to the mirror, once more, they all just stared in awe and wonder. Then, Nesta looked at the clock.
“Thirty minutes,” she announced, quietly.
Feyre bounced impatiently in front of the mirror as Nesta and Elain put the finishing touches on themselves and slipped into their midnight blue dresses. Thirty minutes later, the three of them were standing in the kitchen, Feyre and her bridesmaids.
“Ready?” Nesta whispered.
“Yeah,” Feyre breathed.
Elain and Nesta would walk down the aisle on their own, since Cassian would be walking with Feyre.
Nesta glanced out the window, watching for Rhys to step out of the stable door and stand next to Kallias, who would be officiating the ceremony. When he appeared, she looked over to Feyre and said, “It’s time.”
Nesta was the first one down the aisle, and though this day was not for her, she enjoyed seeing the faces of old friends and people from her childhood and high school days she had all but forgotten about. But there were also some unexpected faces in the crowd.
That of Tamlin, for instance, the one serious boyfriend Feyre had had aside from Rhysand. As far as she had known, they’re split was less than amicable, so his presence today was shocking.
Elain followed, smiling at Azriel, who stood next to Rhysand, the entire way down. Then they all stood and turned to face the main house, where Cassian waited just outside of the kitchen door. He held out his hand, and Feyre stepped out, her long, lace train trailing behind her as she walked out onto the back porch and looped her arm through Cassian’s.
The sight made Nesta breathless.
He looked so proud, so happy for Feyre as he walked her forward, down the aisle. Their parents couldn’t be there. Their father couldn’t walk her down the aisle. But Cassian loved Feyre like she was family, of that she had no doubt, and was honored to fill the position.
The ceremony was short, but it was personal and exactly what Feyre and Rhys had always wanted. They cared more about the fact that they were finally, finally married, and that it was time to celebrate with their friends and family.
The stables had just been completed a couple weeks beforehand, and rather than immediately moving the horses in, they decided to use it to house the reception. The doors were opened to reveal long tables set for an elegant feast. Lights were strung around, and it looked like something from an ethereal garden.
Nesta stood just outside as the guests milled about, mingling in small and large groups, dancing and laughing, finally able to let out a breath after hearing their praises.
Cassian met her there, just outside of the doors as the sun sunk low behind the distant hills.
“Hey,” he smiled, softly. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you how beautiful you look.”
Nesta shook her head as he took her hand and pressed his lips to it. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“Oh, I know,” he crooned, nodding politely to those who greeted him in passing. “You did great, you know. This place looks amazing. I’ve been hearing people talk about it all night and there’s a lot of night left.”
“I did great?” She laughed, gesturing to the building in front of them. “I decorated and bought some overpriced furniture. You… Cassian, you built this.”
“For you,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I built this for you, for us.”
“I love you,” she said, leaning back into him.
He pressed a kiss to the hollow of her neck. “I love you too.” They quietly observed as their friends and family celebrated Rhys and Feyre and their love for each other. They watched as he spun her around the dance floor, Elain and Azriel swaying slowly off to the side. His lips were by her ear when he asked, “Do you want to go in?”
She just wrapped his arms around her tighter and said, “I think I’m fine right here for now.”
They waited outside the open doors, watching the guests flow in and get comfortable, then get served. She was certain Cassian was starving, but he never strayed from her said, and Nesta’s day had been so anxiety-filled that the nausea from earlier lingered and food was not yet her friend. So they remained until the cake was cut and they were called in for speeches. Cassian made one, making everyone laugh, which was no surprise. Then Elain made one, making Feyre cry, which also wasn’t a surprise. And while everyone finished up their desserts and sipped from their alcohol-filled glasses, Feyre and Rhysand were called to the dance floor to begin the festivities with their official first dance, though they’d already been dancing together all night.
Rhysand took his bride into his arms and planted a kiss on her mouth as the slow song began to play. They swayed back and forth, and it was such an intimate moment that Nesta could hardly contain the whirlwind of emotions that swept throughout her body. She leaned back into Cassian's solid frame as they watched.
Until a figure appeared on the edge of the parquet floor, looking for all the world like he would run at the happy couple. The fact that he slowly strolled to them in the center of the floor was almost more unsettling, so casual and cool. Rhysand’s back was to him, and Feyre was so focused on the way Rhys was looking at her that she didn’t notice him until his hand was gripping her elbow.
Cassian stiffened, his arms tightening around Nesta protectively. “What the hell is O’Brien doing here?”
There wasn’t time to answer, though, because Tamlin had pulled Feyre out of Rhysand’s arms and had sloppily pressed his mouth to Feyre’s. The older guests were appalled while everyone else was generally confused.
Cassian was moving toward the dance floor, as was Azriel, but there was no need because Rhysand had grabbed Tamlin by the collar and was hauling him off his wife.
Then Rhysand’s fist met Tamlin’s jaw.
It was a whirlwind of shouts and insults, Cassian grabbing Rhys, while Lucien appeared out of nowhere and stood in front of his friend, disappointment written all over his face. Azriel had put Feyre behind him, blocking Tamlin from making another move, but also keeping Feyre hidden from his sight.
“She was mine!” Tamlin’s raised voice was slurred and the way he leaned on Lucien left no doubt that he was plastered, no doubt thanks to the open bar they had provided. “You couldn’t stand me having her, so you took her from me! You’ve always taken everything!”
“Tamlin, this isn’t the time,” Lucien mumbled, trying to steer him away from the commotion, but he was too strong.
“You wore my ring first!” He said, a finger pointed at Feyre, who’d run to Rhys, clinging to his arm. “This was supposed to be our day.”
The words were sad, empty. There was no anger on the faces of their family, only pity.
“I left, Tamlin,” she said, her voice small, but firm. “He didn’t take me, I left. Just like you need to leave now.”
“Fuck you!” His words were like a lance to her heart, even after all these years, but the cold chill that went down her spine replaced the anguish at his next action.
Tamlin pulled out a gun and pointed it directly at Rhys.
Everyone in the room stilled.
Nesta felt like she was going to vomit. Cassian’s hand still rested on Rhysand’s shoulder. She could tell by the look in his damned hazel eyes that he wanted to jump in front of his friend, but he didn’t move, no one did, scared that any sudden movement would set Tamlin off.
But Tamlin was set off, anyway.
With a shaky hand, he pulled the trigger, and the shot went off. The loud bang rang out through the stables, and Feyre cried out with a miserable, horrid scream.
But Rhysand hadn’t been hit.
Tamlin had missed as the gun fell from his hand, unexpected recoil jarring him. Lucien quickly scooped up the weapon as Tamlin stared wide-eyed at his shaking hands, as if he was surprised he had really done such a thing.
It took Nesta a second to realize, though, that the bullet hadn't missed everyone.
Cassian’s knees hit the floor, breathing already shallow as he pressed a hand to the red splotch blossoming from his chest, stark against the white of his shirt.
Nesta didn’t realize the cry she heard had come from her until Elain was wrapping her arms around her, supporting her as she tried to run for the dance floor.
Azriel took off after Tamlin’s retreating form, already half obscured in the darkness of the woods surrounding the property. Rhys helped flip Cassian over on his back and he was trying to keep him talking while tending to his wound, ripping the shirt away, his EMT training kicking in.
Nesta was frozen in place. She pushed Elain off of her and went to Cassian’s side, kneeling beside his head.
“Hey,” she breathed, taking his face into her hands. He looked up at her with wide, frantic eyes. “You’re okay, just talk to me.”
“Ambulance is on their way,” Feyre announced, phone held up to her ear.
“Doesn’t hurt that bad,” he muttered. “Do I look tough?”
Nesta tried to laugh, but she just started crying harder. His eyes were shimmery, focus fading in and out.
“Cass, don’t you dare go to sleep,” Rhys said, tearing the shirt to pieces and pressing it into the wound. Cassian swore as Rhys applied pressure, and when red started coating the fresh fabric, he cursed as well.
Cassian’s eyes started to flutter closed as Rhys breathed, “It's so close to his heart, I don’t know if it hit an artery or-.”
Azriel burst back through the crowd. “I lost him. I think he left the property.”
“I’ll go with you to the police station,” Elain said, softly, face pale as she watched Cassian.
Azriel nodded and they were off.
An ambulance pulled onto the property a moment later.
Helion was out the door, a crazed look in his eye. He and his partner ran over to where Cassian and Rhys were on the ground, the former nearly unconscious.
“Man, when I said I wished I could come to your wedding, this isn’t what I meant,” Helion said, barely registering Nesta’s presence as he felt for Cassian’s vitals.
Rhys' hair was falling into his eyes, but his hands were coated in his best friend’s blood, so he shook it away. “I figured you’d need a dramatic entrance.”
“Is this really the time?” Feyre asked, kneeling next to her sister, dirt and blood soaking into her pristine wedding dress. She didn’t seem to notice.
“Just trying to keep it light,” Helion mumbled. He raised his voice. “Cass. Hey, man, need you to stay with me.”
Cassian’s eyes fluttered open, hazily looking around him. They settled on Nesta and he tried to say something but his eyes rolled back in his head and he was gone.
“Cassian!” Nesta cried, feeling so utterly helpless, she didn’t know what to do.
Helion glanced at Rhys. “I can’t tell if the bullet grazed his heart or if it’s in an artery, but he’s lost a lot of blood.” He looked around at the wedding guests. “We need to clear these people out, to wait for the police, but we have to get him to the hospital. Now.”
Cassian was loaded into the ambulance, Rhysand going inside with him, but Nesta was still frozen in place, sitting in her blood-soaked gown on the ground.
“Come on,” Feyre whispered, helping Nesta to her feet. “I’ll drive.”
They hadn’t driven for more than ten minutes, but the ride from the ranch to the hospital felt like it took forever. The entire time, Nesta’s heart was racing, her hands shaking as the worst case scenario constantly flew through her mind.
“Did you…” Nesta’s voice sounded far away, even to herself. “Did you invite him?”
Feyre cleared her throat. “No, of course not. I know you weren’t around, but I’m sure Elain filled you in on the details.”
Nesta shook her head. “We didn’t talk much.”
Feyre glanced over at her. “It...wasn’t pretty.”
Nesta knew she should be asking Feyre how she was doing. Nesta’s boyfriend may have been shot, but the gun was pointed at Feyre’s husband, on her wedding day. And yet, as her mouth opened, nothing more came out. So Nesta reached across the middle console and took her sister’s hand. Feyre’s fingers wrapped around Nesta’s, tightly.
After that, neither of them said a word.
Once they parked, Nesta and Feyre were hurrying across the parking lot. They saw Rhysand outside of the ER once they arrived.
His suit was drenched in Cassian’s blood.
Feyre ran into his arms as Nesta blurted, “How is he?”
“Breathing,” Rhysand answered, but his face was pale. “They’re doing what they can. They just rushed him back.”
“How did he-.” A sob finally broke from Feyre, cutting off any other words, after she’d been so strong on the way. Rhys just wrapped her up in his arms and held his new wife as she began to cry into his chest. He buried his face in her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
Nesta quietly entered the hospital, giving them the private moment they needed. She hadn’t realized she lost her shoes until she felt the cold tile under her feet. She didn’t know how much of Cassian’s blood was on her, hadn’t had a chance to look in a mirror, but it must have been a lot. The second she entered the waiting room, two nurses rushed to her, asking if she was okay, if she was injured, if the blood was hers.
She shook her head and when she said, “Cassian Nazari,” recognition dawned.
“He’s in surgery,” the younger of the two said, keeping her voice gentle. “It could be a little while before we know anything.”
Nesta silently nodded and walked to the chairs in the corner, her long gown swishing as it skimmed the floor. She sat down, letting her head fall into her hands.
When she pulled them away, she noticed they were still coated in Cassian’s blood.
Nesta could no longer stop the sob that broke from her. She stared at her hands as she cried, caught the tears that had streamed down her face, peppering the dried, crimson blood that coated her skin with wet, light pink spots. She knew she was a mess, knew she looked like she had lived through a horror movie, but she didn’t care. She would stay in that chair until he woke up.
And he would wake up.
Because if he didn’t…
No, she wouldn’t think of the alternative.
Nesta cried until the nausea brewing in her stomach overtook her, and she dropped to her knees by the closest wastebasket and hurled, the heaves wracking her body.
“Are you okay?” She glanced up and found the same sweet nurse a few feet away. She nodded, but heaved again. The nurse hurried away, returning with a water bottle and a few wet paper towels. She gave her the water bottle and when Nesta took it, the nurse took her hand and began to wipe it down with the warm rag. “What’s your name, honey?”
She cleared her throat and answered, “Nesta, ma’am.”
She smiled at the manners, and reached for the other hand, which Nesta willingly handed it over. After a moment, all that remained of Cassian’s blood was under her nails. “Nesta Nazari or…?”
She shook her head. “Archeron. Cassian is my boyfriend.”
She gently patted the back of Nesta’s hand. “You’re Feyre’s sister.” At Nesta’s surprised blink, she said, “I’m Viviane. Kallias is my husband. He’s in good hands, honey. I promise.” She reached for the small trash can, seeing it was empty, despite Nesta retching in it multiple times. “Have you eaten today?”
The thought of food nearly had her ripping the can out of her hands and heaving again. She shook her head and without another word, Viviane was heading for the desk.
She came back a moment later with a consent form and a pack of crackers.
“I know you’ve been through a lot,” Vivian said. “And tell me to mind my own business if you wish, but I think you may be dehydrated and I’d like to bring you back and get you fluids. You’ll still be waiting, and I’ll still let you know as soon as there is word on your boyfriend...but, if you haven’t eaten all day and you’ve been getting sick...I’d like to help.”
Nesta nodded, jaw locked. It had been a long day of nausea, and if Nesta passed out when Cassian woke up...she didn’t want to miss it. “Okay.”
Viviane asked her a few questions before escorting her back to a room. She helped Nesta out of her bloody bridesmaid dress and into a hospital gown. After Nesta sat on the cot, she was hooked up to an IV machine and getting fluids pumped into her.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Viviane said. “Press the button on the remote. I’ll be back to check on you soon.”
She nodded, unsure of her voice and stared at her bare legs hanging over the edge of the bed. She heard the door click shut and sat there in the silence. She glanced over at her IV, watching the slow drip. She wondered if they’d given her some sort of sedative as well, because she knew she must have been hysterical in the waiting room.
All at once, she realized she didn’t have anything. She didn’t have her purse, her phone, her keys. She needed to call Elain, needed to let her know where she was.
She turned, seeing the remote attached to the back of the bed. Swinging her legs up and laying back, she reached for the remote in its cradle. The IV tugged and Nesta sucked a sharp breath in through her teeth. She couldn’t reach the remote, not without possibly blowing her IV. She sighed and settled back into the pillows, waiting for Viviane to return so she could ask her to let Feyre know where she was.
As she laid there, her eyelids became heavier and she let out a soft, quiet sob as the day's events dragged her into a fitful sleep.
Nesta woke hours later in a panic, but she wasn’t alone. Elain laid on the couch, sleeping soundly on Azriel’s lap, who was using the back of the couch as a pillow.
Nesta pulled herself up and whispered her name. “Lainy?”
Elain was instantly alert, eyes wide as she saw her sister. “Thank goodness.”
But Nesta was shaking her head. “Cass?”
Elain hesitated. “Out of surgery, but still not awake. Rhysand and Feyre are sitting with him now.”
“I want to see him,” Nesta said, feeling her eyes well up with tears, once again. She threw the thin blanket that was covering her - Viviane, no doubt, bless her heart - and moved to get off the bed.
Elain was up, gently grabbing Nesta’s shoulders and making her sit back down. “Nes, wait, you need to rest.”
“I need to see Cassian,” Nesta said, a little louder than before. “Let me go see him.”
“Just wait a few minutes, okay?” Elain said, attempting to reason with her. “It’s the middle of the night.”
Nesta shook her head, trying to stop the tears from running down her face. “I don’t care what time it is, he needs me.”
“We need to tell you something, Nes.”
Both women stopped struggling to look over at Azriel, his head tipped back, voice still deep from sleep.
“What?” Nesta asked, voice full of panic. “What happened? What’s wrong with Cass?”
Elain’s eyes softened as she took her sister’s hands in her own. “Nothing. I told you, he’s unconscious, but steady.”
“Then what is it?” Nesta asked, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “I’m not following, I don’t understand. Is it Tamlin?”
“Just…” Elain’s words trailed off as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Azriel was watching them both wearily. “They took tests when they first brought you back here, right?”
Nesta nodded, slowly.
“Well, the results came in while you were asleep,” Elain said, words coming out quickly as she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Nesta, you’re pregnant.”
#sharacollab#theranchnessian#nessian#fanfic#fanfiction#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#sjm#modern au#ranch au
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The Ranch {1}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
A/N: Shelby and I have been writing this for MONTHS and we are so excited to start sharing it with you all! As always, let us know what you think, and enjoy. :) We will be going back & forth posting chapters, so look for chapter 2 on her blog!
The Ranch Masterlist
Nesta knew absolutely nothing about ranching.
Even worse, she felt absolutely nothing as she got out of her little red car and stepped onto the dirt path that led to the house.
She had grown up on this ranch, had run around and had adventures with her sisters in these pastures. Yet, as she took in everything she had inherited, she felt nothing.
She hadn’t been to the ranch in years, not since her mother died when she was eighteen. Now, almost a decade later, it was all foreign. It used to look so lively and magical during her childhood, but now it was nothing more than an old, big house built upon a huge chunk of land full of cattle.
Nesta hated cows. They smelled horrible.
She started walking up the path to her childhood home, when she saw the faded, peeling sign in the yard.
Belles & Blossoms Bed and Breakfast
The restraint Nesta used not to roll her eyes was only thanks to the fact that she was well-rested from her stay in Velaris’ newest hotel, the Manor House. The five-star hotel was supposed to be a hotel and spa, but it was more of a resort than anything. After her flight had landed, she had treated herself to a nice dinner and a massage and facial. The stress of knowing she had to come here had been wreaking havoc on her nerves and the special treatment was exactly what she needed.
But now that she was here, now that she was standing in front of the place she’d fought so hard to get out of, she wanted to turn around and check back into her room. Instead, she walked up the stairs, swiped the key from the underside of the rocking chair - where it had always been - and let herself into the house.
The first thing she noticed was the heat. There was a definite breeze coming from the vents, but the air was by no means cool. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping this was not going to be an indication of how this all would go.
It looked exactly like she remembered, not a single thing having changed. The leather furniture was still prominently featured in every room, the rodeo memorabilia hanging on every wall. She sighed as she walked into the kitchen and to the sink, gazing out the window. She could see the house her father had built on the property a few years back. It had stayed mostly empty, as her father had opted to still live in the old farmhouse.
She would not though, she would move into the modern house on the back of the property, close enough to still be there for her guests, but far enough that she could have privacy if it was ever needed.
Nesta didn’t anticipate it would though.
Her own sisters didn’t even know she was back in town. It had been years since she’d spoken to Feyre and Elain and her texted occasionally, but Nesta knew nothing of their personal lives and they knew none of hers.
Nesta hadn’t even come to her own father’s funeral.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. But she couldn’t.
Quickly, she made her way through the rest of the house, cataloging what she saw in her head and already thinking about what changes she would make. When she got to her old bedroom, she paused, lingering in the doorway as she took in how it was the only room in the house that didn’t match the style of the rest.
No, Nesta had never cared for the rodeo lifestyle her father grew up in. Her sisters tolerated it, but just like her mother, Nesta couldn’t stand it.
The walls were still the deep grey she’d painted them, covering up the awful wallpaper featuring ropes and steers. The furniture was elegant and simply stated, dark wood with sleek lines.
There were no blinds on the windows, leaving the view down to the river uninhibited.
Nesta smiled, feeling a bit of pride as she took in how good her room looked in comparison to the rest of the house. She also let out a breath of relief as she realized it was one less room she’d have to redecorate.
She would do the rest later. Being back was beginning to take its toll. Nesta hurried back out the front door and hopped in her car, driving it further down the old dirt road. Nesta used to love the scenery. There were trees scattered across the landscape, trees that Nesta used to sit underneath in the spring and summer and read her books. Her father used to ask her to help out around the ranch, but Nesta was never interested in ranching. Her sisters helped him, always, and that seemed to be good enough for him.
Nesta pulled up to the little house her father had built and turned off her car. For a moment, she just sat in the quiet, staring at the little house.
It was cute, even on the outside. There was a little porch with one old rocking chair. The door had been painted red, and Nesta smiled, remembering it was her mother’s favorite color.
Once she got out, she opened the trunk and pulled out her bags. Much like the main house, the key was underneath the rocking chair. She let herself in and froze.
It was practically empty.
Her father really hadn’t spent much time in there. But why would he? He loved the main house, loved interacting with the guests that would stay there once he turned it into a bed and breakfast.
Besides, it was the home they had lived in as a family. As much as Nesta wanted to get away from the ranch, her father had always taken pride in his family.
Nesta included.
Which was why he left the ranch for his firstborn, she assumed.
Nesta walked through the empty living room and into the back bedroom, where a simple, bare, full-sized bed sat opposite of a wooden dresser. Other than that, a mirror hung on the wall as the single piece of decor.
Nesta tossed her bags on the mattress before finding her way into the bathroom. There was a shower with no curtain, a sink with no soap, and a toilet with no toilet paper.
At least the place was decently clean.
After rummaging through her bag and changing into jean shorts and a t-shirt, Nesta found herself in the kitchen, finding it - shockingly - empty before making a serious mental note to go to the store before the day was over. Sheets, soap, shower curtain, shampoo, food…
She needed it all.
Before she could feel even more overwhelmed, she found herself on the front porch and breathed in the fresh air. It was then that she noticed the little log cabin sitting on the other side of the dirt road.
There had been a ranch hand, hired by her father, when Nesta was little that used to live in that cabin. She couldn’t remember his name, but she remembered his smile. He was a kind, older man who had passed away before Nesta turned ten.
Promising she’d revamp the little log cabin after taking on the main house, she slipped on her tennis shoes and walked back up the dirt road.
She could hear the cows in the distant field and supposed she would have to hire a new ranch hand if she were to keep the ranch going. She sure as hell didn’t know what to do.
Jogging up the stairs, Nesta let herself back in and paused in the entryway, trying to decide what her plan of attack should be. She could clean first, but then when she decided what should stay or go, she’ll just discover more dirt and dust. Or she could start a throwaway pile, but that would definitely stir up the dust.
Nesta groaned and dropped her head in her hands. When she’d first gotten the phone call from her father’s lawyer, letting her know that he’d left the B&B to her, she didn’t even want it. She started looking into what she needed to do and how much she could sell it for, house, land, and business. It had been a decade since she left and she hadn’t looked back once. Why would she now?
She’d found early success in the culinary arts. She studied in Miami, New York, Paris, Rome. She traveled the world. Her father couldn’t really expect her to give all that up, to give up her life, to come back to the town she grew up in, and run the bed and breakfast he started after she got out.
But he did. He trusted her with his dream and with his ranch.
And so she found herself back in Velaris, in the middle of summer, in a house with limited air conditioning, scrubbing the antique baseboards on her hands and knees. After she’d completed the living room, the molding a wholly different color than when she started, she stood and wiped the sweat from her forehead. She fanned herself and looked at her watch.
Only 10:45 in the morning and it was already pushing 85° outside. Nesta quickly realized she’d need to get someone out to work on the air conditioning unit as quickly as possible, and went to the kitchen to grab a bottled water from the fridge.
As she walked through the house, she quickly opened up her browser and looked up a number for a local company that could hopefully get to her quickly. She found one that could work on HVAC and plumbing, and decided to have a once overdone on the entire house. She selected the number and hit send, putting the phone to her ear and opening the fridge.
Nesta hung up the phone, slammed the fridge shut and gagged all in the same second.
Apparently, in the past four weeks, the fridge had gone out. Everything inside had gone bad and though she was used to working in a kitchen, she had never smelled anything so foul in her life.
Nesta has already planned on replacing the fridge, and every other appliance, in the outdated kitchen, so she wasn’t too upset. Just frustrated that would have to be handled so soon. She put the phone down on the counter and tied her hair back in a ponytail.
Air conditioner would have to wait. This fridge had to go.
She sized the thing up, eyeing it from top to bottom. Maybe there was a dolly out in the shed she could use to push it out the back door. It was smaller than an average refrigerator, after all. What could go wrong?
She reached back behind it to make sure everything was unplugged. Then, she slowly took everything out one by one, tossing it a giant black garbage bag she had found in the cabinet.
Nesta was so focused on what she was doing, she didn’t hear the back door open and shut.
“There’s a six pack in there. Hopefully you didn’t throw that out, too.”
Nesta jumped, nearly hitting her head on the open freezer door. “Fuck!” She turned around, and froze. “Who the hell are you?”
He stood there, hair loose around his shoulders, sweat gleaming across his bare, inked chest. He had on filthy boots, covered in the gods knew what, as he stepped into the kitchen.
“I’m wondering the same thing.” The man leaned his hip against the counter that ended at the back door. “Can I help you with something?”
Nesta just blinked, staring at the man, trying to decide if her day could get any more strange. “You can help by getting the hell out before I call the police.” She grabbed her phone, hoping that he knew she was serious. “Have you ever heard of knocking? Trespassing? Or do you always just let yourself into random womens’ back doors?”
The man didn’t try to hide his gaze as he let it drag down her body and settled it on her ass. “Hmm.” He crossed his arms and focused his attention back on her face. “Usually, I like to have dinner with a woman before I ask her to let me in her back door, but I guess if you want to be so direct about it.”
Nesta’s mouth dropped open and she unlocked her phone, giving it her attention. “I’m calling the police.”
“Good,” the man said, pulling a kitchen chair out from the table and sitting down. “I can’t wait for them to get here and arrest your ass.”
Her finger froze where it hovered over the green button. “Me? Arrest me?” She started to laugh.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know what you think is so funny, but I’ve been here every single day for the last eight years, I’ve never seen you in this house once.” He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “Now, I’ll ask one more time. Can I help you with something?”
Every single day for the last eight years.
“My name is Nesta,” she said, standing a little straighter. “I’m Isaac Archeron’s daughter.”
The man only stared at her, blinking every couple of seconds. “I’m sorry, you said that you were Nesta?”
She nodded.
“You’re kidding me,” he chuckled, standing up. “He left it to you? Really?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why is that so surprising?”
“Because I’ve met Isaac’s daughters. You know, the ones that have been in his life in the last decade.” He walked toward her and reached past her shoulder to one of the beers that sat in the door of the fridge. He popped it open and took a long, slow drink before saying, “You weren’t one of them.”
He didn’t move from where he stood less than a foot in front of her. He was massive, but Nesta didn’t cower from his size, although it took everything in her to look up and meet his humored gaze instead of staring straight ahead at his chest.
“Now that you know who I am, I suggest you tell me who you are,” was all she said, not giving him the satisfaction of a response to his jab.
He grinned, taking another drink before introducing himself. “Cassian. I’ve worked for your dad for-.”
“Eight years, yeah, I got that,” Nesta interrupted. “You take care of the herd?”
He nodded. “And nearly everything else. Used to work alongside Isaac, but did everything pretty much myself once he took a turn for the worse.”
Took a turn for the worse.
Nesta tried to pretend like the words hadn’t punched her in the gut.
“I see. And do you live here?” Nesta asked, gesturing to the house around them. “If so, you’ve done a shitty job keeping the place up.”
“No,” he said, finally turning his back to her to resume his spot in his chair. “I live in the old log cabin. This house has been neglected for the most part since your dad took-“
“A turn for the worse?” Nesta finished for him. “Yeah, got it.”
“Do you like to finish people’s sentences?” He asked, brow raised. “I’m sensing a theme.”
Nesta ignored him, closing her eyes and sighing. “I’m not sure what my father was paying you but-.”
“He wasn’t,” Cassian interrupted, taking a page from her own book and cutting her off. He finished what was left of the warm beer and threw it across the kitchen into the trash can. It went in with precise accuracy. “What I mean is, he hasn’t been. We came to an agreement at the end of my third summer here, when money was getting tighter. He knew he couldn’t run this place without a ranch hand, but he couldn’t afford to pay me. So he gave me the cabin, signed it over to me. Deed is in my name,” he said, seeing the look on Nesta’s face. “All of my utilities are covered by the B&B. I don’t pay a dime for that house. In return, I do whatever needs to be done on these twenty acres.”
Nesta stared at him, trying to decide if the man - Cassian, he’d said - was trying to deceive her or if he was being genuine. She may not know him, but when it came down to it, she knew her father, and she knew that letting him live for free on their family land is exactly something he would do. “How do you make money then? How do you afford to eat and buy clothes and other necessities?”
“I have other ways to make money, don’t worry about that,” he said, standing and brushing dried mud off of his jeans. He didn’t give her much more time to ask questions as he stood and headed for the door. “I’ll come by and fix the AC later on this afternoon. I have to go into town for feed so I’ll pick up the part I need then.” He was out the back door and his heavy boots were clomping down the wooden stairs.
Nesta ran after him, flinging the door open. “You knew the air conditioning was out? Why haven’t you fixed it already?”
Cassian turned around and looked at her. “I just told you that I don’t technically get paid for the work that I do. My boss, your father, was the one who paid the bills here. It’s been over four weeks since the electric bill was paid and I was trying to keep this place up and running as long as I could with what little money I had saved.” As he passed through the gate that led out to the pasture and the horse stalls, he grabbed a sweat-soaked t-shirt that was draped over the fence and tossed it over his shoulder. He continued to walk backward as he finished explaining himself. “I knew we weren’t going to have many guests in the B&B any time soon and decided that feeding the living creatures that live here was more important than cooling the empty house.”
Nesta watched him walk away. Once he disappeared into the shed, she turned around and went back inside.
Every ounce of anger and frustration had left her. Suddenly, she was feeling empty. Cassian had spent the last eight years with her father, her sisters, working this land and making a home here.
She shook the thoughts away as she tossed the rest of his warm beer cans into her garbage bag.
_____________________________
Nesta had decided to commit the rest of her day to making the little house she now occupied feel a little more homey. She’d gone to the store to pick up a few decor items and some food, along with sheets and a shower curtain.
However, when she pulled back into the driveway, a silver truck was pulled up in front of the main house.
Elain was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch.
Nesta couldn’t help but smile as she got out. She hadn’t even reached the steps before Elain was running into her arms.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” She said, holding her older sister tight. “Cassian texted me.”
“Ah, the rude cow wrangler,” Nesta muttered. “Joy.”
“He’s great,” Elain said, smile fading.
Nesta cleared her throat. “Sorry I didn't let you know I was coming. It…all happened so fast.”
Elain shook her head. “I’m just glad you’re here. Gods, I missed you.”
There was a time when she and Elain had been really close. Leaving her was much harder than leaving Feyre and Isaac. But, Elain was destined to stay in Velaris forever, and Nesta didn’t want that.
Yet, she managed to end up in the damn town, anyway.
Elain got in the passenger seat of Nesta’s car and they headed down to the new house. Nesta began pulling the bags out of her back seat and Elain, helping her carry them up the porch stairs, asked what all she’d bought.
“Everything,” Nesta laughed, pausing to unlock the door, but finding it already open. “Dad didn’t have anything in here, so I figured I’d at least-.”
Nesta froze as she stepped through the threshold, the bags falling to the floor. There was something that sounded far too similar to glass breaking for Elain’s liking, but Nesta didn’t seem to notice as she breathed, “Where did all of this come from?”
Where there had only been open space earlier, there was now furniture. A couch and entertainment center took up the living room area, and a small breakfast nook now sat in the corner by the kitchen.
“It was mine before I moved in with Azriel,” Elain said, an amused lilt to her voice. “Why do you think I’m in his truck?”
“Elain, I can’t- this is-.” She stopped and swallowed hard, turning to look at her sister. “Thank you.”
Elain just smiled. “It was in storage. I’d rather you be using it than gathering dust in our garage.”
Nesta nodded, slowly, unsure of what to say. “So… Still with Azriel, huh? Moved in together?”
“Yeah, I think he’s going to propose soon,” Elain said, brown eyes lighting up with pure adoration. “I can’t wait.”
“That’s great,” Nesta said, and she meant it, although it didn’t sound like it. She was still in shock. Overwhelmed. She was so incredibly overwhelmed.
“I told Feyre you’re here,” Elain said, sitting on the couch in the little living room. “She said she’ll try to stop by soon.”
Nesta knew it was a lie, but she forced herself to smile. “Great.”
Her and Feyre hadn’t talked since she left. Nesta was eighteen. Feyre was only fifteen, and she refused to understand how Nesta could just take off after they’d just lost their mother.
And Nesta had never attempted to explain her reasoning to her youngest sister.
To anyone.
“So,” Elain began, once the silence became too much. “What plans do you have for this place? Dad, obviously, thought you could bring it back to life. You’ve always had an eye for such things.”
Nesta snorted. “We both know that’s not true. Dad only left this place to me because I’m the oldest. And why don’t you ask me the question you really want to ask?”
Elain attempted to look confused, but failed.
“Don’t bullshit me,” Nesta chuckled. “And don’t worry. No, I’m not selling it. I thought about it. But…” Nesta shrugged. “Dad trusted me enough, for some damn reason, to leave it to me. And we grew up here. I know you all think I’m a heartless bitch, but I’m not that heartless.”
“We don’t think you’re a heartless bitch…” Elain trailed off.
“Just a bitch?” Nesta laughed, sitting next to her and propping her feet up on the small coffee table.
“Shut up,” Elain said, bumping her with her shoulder. Nesta gently shoved her back and Elain laughed, resting her head on her sister’s shoulder. Nesta leaned her own head atop her sister’s. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, Lainy.” Nesta smiled. Using the old childhood nickname Elain had hated felt too easy and when she heard her sister groan, she knew she’d hit her mark.
Elain stood. “I should go. I told Az I was running the stuff over here and then I’d be back home. That was almost two hours ago.”
“You did this all by yourself?” Nesta was shocked looking at the furniture around her. It was nice, a good, sturdy quality. It wasn’t cheap by any means, and thanks to that, it didn’t seem light. Nesta imagined her gentle sweet sister trying to get the couch she currently sat on through the door by herself.
Elain laughed and said, “Cauldron, no! I can barely lift the coffee table by myself. Cassian helped me.”
“Cassian?” Nesta lifted a brow.
“Yeah, the rude cow wrangler, remember?”
Nesta scoffed. “No, I know his name, it’s just…” That was nice of him. Was his shirt still off? “Why didn’t Azriel come to help?”
��He’s at work. Just started a new job in town at the dealership. Mechanic. Works on the tractors and whatnot.”
Nesta didn’t know much about Azriel, only what Elain had told her of him. Although, if she remembered right, they all went to the same high school.
She didn’t care, though. All she cared about is that this Azriel treated her sweet Elain the way she deserved to be treated, and judging by the light in her eyes when she spoke of him, she knew that he was.
“He said you two got off to kind of a rough start,” Elain said, stopping just in front of the front door.
“Azriel?” Nesta asked, genuinely confused.
Elain giggled. “No, Cassian. He really is a good guy, okay? Give him the benefit of the doubt, I know you don’t trust people easily. But dad trusted him with everything and he’s been around for a while. He’s the best ranch hand you’re going to get for this place. He loves it like it's his own.”
Nesta just huffed.
“Anyway,” Elain went on, showing herself out. “How about we all get together for dinner tomorrow night? We can go anywhere, your choice.”
“Who is all?”
Elain shrugged. “Me and Azriel? I’ll see if Feyre wants to come. Maybe even ask Cassian-.”
“I don’t think-.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” Elain said, smile bright, cutting off her sister’s protests.
With that, Nesta watched as her sister walked back up the dirt road toward the main house.
Huffing out a breath, Nesta turned and looked at her new home. It wasn’t much, just a bedroom and a couch and a bathroom, but it was home. She’d make it hers.
Just like the main house and just like the bed and breakfast. She’d make them something she could be proud of.
And so, as the sun went down, Nesta got to work.
#TheRanchNessian#SharaCollab#nessian#fanfic#fanfiction#modern au#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#nesta#cassian
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The Ranch {8}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty x @tacmc
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
A/N: We love that you guys have been loving this so much! Please continue to let us know what you’re thinking. We loved writing this fic, and your love means the world to us.
The Ranch Masterlist
Cassian didn’t see or hear from Nesta for the rest of the day. He saw her in the main house around dinner time, but decided he would let her cook in peace. He didn’t know what kind of demons had reared their ugly heads at her today, but whatever had happened between Nesta and Tomas Motherfucking Mandray had screwed with her so badly that he barely recognized the woman he found in the paint department today.
He remembered Nesta from high school, had known that she had dated Tomas then. But, he didn’t know much. At least, not about Nesta. As for Tomas, however, he and Cassian went way back, and none of their interactions had ever been pleasant. Tomas had always been a self-absorbed little bitch. He hated Tomas.
And he had hated him even more when he walked into the paint aisle and saw how fucking terrified Nesta had been.
Yet, he wasn’t going to push her to talk about it. She would come to him when she was ready. Maybe. Hopefully. Either way, Cassian had convinced himself that it was none of his business.
Even if he really, really wanted it to be his business.
As night approached, Cassian made sure all the horses were ready for bed, and all the cattle were where they were meant to be. He whistled for Beau to follow him into the cabin and, the good pup he was, Beau obeyed. Once inside, he slumped into the recliner and checked his phone.
There was a text from Rhys that read, Being engaged is fucking awesome. It ended with three flame emojis. Cassian found the text as a whole repulsive and unnecessary.
There was a text from Azriel, too, that read, Drinks on Friday? Elain is working all night.
Cassian dismissed it, making a mental note to reply in the morning.
Then, he had one last text.
From Nesta.
Thanks for today. Sorry I spaced out.
He read the text once, twice, three times before finding the nerve to reply. Anytime, he wrote. He wanted to write something else, anything else, wanted to add a fucking speech at the end of the one-worded text, but he decided against it.
He pressed send.
It wasn’t two minutes later that he got a reply. You should be sleeping. You’ll have to wake up early to get on the stables, won’t you?
Cassian chuckled to himself. Maybe. But you have to be up early to do your makeup before you finish the landscaping, he replied.
Her reply wasn’t as quick this time, the dancing dots disappearing every so often. But when his phone finally vibrated while he was brushing his teeth, he laughed out loud.
Don’t act like it takes me more time to do my hair than it takes you to do yours. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those man buns are a little TOO perfect sometimes.
He replied with no hesitation. Glad to know you’re looking at my man buns.
He swore that he could feel her eyes roll from across the property. Goodnight, Sexy Ranch Hand.
Goodnight, beautiful.
He sent the text, hoping it would bring her a little bit of joy, a little bit of comfort, but then, when she didn’t reply, he grew nervous.
He felt he was walking a fine line with Nesta, ever since she scolded him for being his boss.
His hesitation didn’t last too long, though, because his phone vibrated the minute he climbed into his bed. The text was short, but it gave him comfort.
A smiley face emoji greeted him as Beau climbed up on the bed beside him.
He slept good that night, smiling stupidly to himself as he snuggled up next to Beau. And when morning came, he felt completely refreshed.
He was up and getting dressed with a cup of coffee at four, and as sunrise approached, Cassian grabbed a bag by the door and he and Beau were walking out into the cool, muggy summer morning. It wouldn’t be long until the sun was beating down, drenching him in sweat.
Instead of heading toward the stables, Cassian went across the grass and the gravel driveway, and up the steps of the tiny, modern house that sat there.
He pounded on the door and Beau stayed in the yard, chasing his tail.
No answer.
He pounded his fist on the wood once more.
Nothing.
With a sigh, Cassian kept knocking, and didn’t stop. He pounded repeatedly on the door for at least thirty seconds when the door was thrown open, and Nesta stood there, looking like she wanted to set him on fire.
“What the hell?” She asked, voice raspy, hair a mess, body wrapped in a crocheted blanket.
“Rise and shine,” Cassian grinned. “Go on. Get dressed.”
Her eyes narrowed as she flipped on the porch light. Cassian lit up as she groaned from the brightness of it.
“You wanted to learn how things are done around here,” Cassian laughed. “Well, I start at sunrise, ever day.”
Nesta rubbed her eyes and snorted. “Unless you’re hungover.”
Cassian grinned. “Fair enough. Alright, go on, get dressed, I’ll wait.”
Nesta sighed but didn’t protest as she took a step back.
“Oh,” Cassian said, before she could close the door on him. “Here.”
He held out the bag.
She blinked. “What is that?”
“I kept telling you,” he said, shaking the bag until she took it. “You own a ranch. You need a pair of boots.”
“You...bought me boots?”
Cassian shrugged as she took the bag and shoved his hands into his pockets. “With your sisters’ help. Consider it your welcome home gift.”
Nesta was speechless as she slowly went back into her little house.
She didn’t bother closing the door, so Cassian stepped inside as she went back into her bedroom.
He looked around, although there wasn’t much inside. He noticed Elain’s old furniture, that he had helped move in upon Nesta’s arrival.
“Hopefully they fit,” Cassian said as he went to the little fridge in the kitchen and looked at the pictures that covered it. “I may have snuck a glance at your sneakers the other day when you weren’t looking to check for size.”
Nesta’s quiet laughter flooded through the hall. “Creep.”
Cassian grinned to himself as he studied a picture of the girls when they were young, smiling with their mother. Cassian had never met her. She died years before Isaac had hired him.
Nesta came out a minute later, and even in the dim lamplight, Cassian was breathless.
Her hair was pulled back in a high point tail. She wore jeans, a tank top, and an old flannel shirt, which remained open.
And her boots, which fit nicely.
“Okay, stop staring,” Nesta muttered. “I realize you’ve never seen me in boots and it’s shocking.”
Cassian cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded. “They look nice.”
Nesta rolled her eyes and her boots thumped toward the front door. “Yeah, yeah. Alright, let’s do this.”
Cassian allowed himself to watch her walk out the door and down the steps before he followed her out.
————
“Harder.”
Cassian grunted.
“Harder.”
He groaned, but did as he was told.
“Harder!”
Cassian was out of breath, but he said, “This is as hard as it gets, I don’t know what else you want from me.”
Nesta gritted her teeth, but still managed to roll her eyes. “I want you to try harder.”
He grunted and said, “Okay, okay, put it down. Stop pushing.”
They both moved away from the enormous roll of hay they’d been trying to roll through the south pasture. It had rained overnight, nearly doubling the weight of the hay and Cassian had suspected he needed a little more muscle than what Nesta had to offer.
“I’ll have to call Rhys,” Cassian said, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe his brow. Nesta was folded at the waist, her hands braced on her knees.
“No, we can-.” She stopped to breathe. “We can do it. We got this”
He chuckled, “Nes, that hay weighs over 5 times your weight. We absolutely do not got this.”
Her lips tightened as she sized up the roll of hay. “We-.”
“Nesta,” Cassian breathed, laughing quietly. “It’s not a big deal. Your ability to move a roll of hay doesn’t dictate your ability to run a ranch. Well, own it, I run it.”
Nesta couldn’t help the smile that tugged on the corner of her mouth. “You’re incredibly annoying.”
“I know,” he grinned, wiping his face with the hem of his shirt, once more. Nesta’s eyes lingered a little bit too long on his abdomen, just above the waistband of his jeans, which were hanging loosely on his hips. He didn’t seem to notice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Rhys. “Rhys will be over soon, I’m sure, he has the day off. Unless your sister kept him up all night.”
Nesta scrunched her nose. “No need to reference my sister’s sex life.”
Cassian’s grin widened as he put his phone back into his pocket. “You wanna go for a ride?”
Nesta stilled, and her hesitation made him howl.
“I meant on a horse, Nesta,” he said, unable to control his laughter. “Calm down.”
“Asshole,” she mumbled. Her cheeks were red, both from the sun they’d been in all day and the blush now tipping her ears as well. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I don’t have a horse. I’m okay.”
Cassian had an eyebrow raised. “You actually have eight.”
“I have-.” Nesta paused. “Oh. You’re right.”
But not Phoenix.
“Hey.” Cassian’s voice was soft and she looked up, not expecting him to be so close. His hazel eyes were the color of the forest floor. As if he could read her thoughts, he said, “You’ll never be able to replace him, Nes. You’ll never get back that bond with him. But that doesn’t mean you can’t build another bond with another horse.”
He was right, of course, but she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly a decade. The thought alone terrified her. Yes, she was beginning not to mind being back in Velaris, had even started enjoying herself while working on the B&B, but to ride again? She wasn’t sure if she was ready for such a huge step.
And it was.
A massive step.
Yet, Cassian’s eyes were so full of hope, and the way they watched her, so softly, Nesta couldn’t say no.
Didn’t want to say no.
“Okay,” she breathed. “Fine.”
Cassian slowly shook his head. “I need to hear you say it with a little more enthusiasm.”
Nesta pursed her lips and shoved him in the shoulder, which only made his cocky ass grin return.
“Come on,” she said, heading in the direction of the dilapidated stalls the horses stayed in. She walked about twenty feet before she realized he wasn’t walking with her. “What?”
Cassian chuckled. “You really were tired this morning, weren’t you?”
Nesta blinked. “You banged on my door at, like, three in the morning. Of course I was tired.”
“Okay, first of all, it was four thirty,” he said, laughing. “Second, follow me.”
Nesta wasn’t sure exactly how she’d missed it. He was right, she must have been half asleep to miss the framework nestled back into the trees between their two houses.
But this was not the basic stable and tack room she’d described to him.
No, this building was going to be massive.
“There are going to be sixteen stalls,” Cassian said, sticking his hands in his pockets. “The tack room is going to be on that side,” he indicated to the right. “And the lodge, will be to the left.”
“The lodge?” Nesta asked, turning to look at him. “Figured it might be nice to have a little getaway out here. If you don’t like it, I can scrap it from the plans, make this a second tack room or storage area.”
But Nesta wasn’t listening, she’d turned back to the massive framework of beams in front of her.
She breathed, “Cassian, it’s perfect.”
He scratched at the back of his neck. “It’s going to take me a while to finish-.”
“Tell me what you need and it’s yours.” There was no hesitation to her words. “We can even hire someone to help, if you want.”
Cassian chuckled, softly. “That’s okay. I got it. If I need help, I’ll ask Rhys and Az. They’ll be more than happy to help when they can.”
“I can’t believe you…” Nesta shook her head, and looked at him. “Put so much thought into it.”
He shrugged. “You asked for updated stables. I just did what I’m told.”
“You really do love this place, don’t you?” Nesta asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Cassian said, meeting her gaze. “I had a bad reputation, from a lot of stupid shit I did when I was younger. Your dad really took a chance on hiring me, but I’m grateful every day that he did. He gave me a sense of purpose, when I thought I didn’t have one.”
Nesta nodded, slowly, and did not back down from his gaze as she said, “I’m grateful, too. That you’re here. I’d be completely lost without you.”
Cassian’s eyes softened, and she thought he was going to say something sweet, but then he said, “Yeah...all the other ranchers in this town aren’t as sexy as me, so, you really did luck out.”
“Oh, cauldron boil me,” Nesta groaned and Cassian put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the house, towards the shed where the saddles and other tack was kept.
“Ahhh, I didn’t want it to get too sappy.” He said, grinning down at her. “But now, we’re gonna see if you’re really worth your salt on this ranch.” He stopped in front of the shed and unlocked the padlock.
“And what exactly does that mean?” Nesta asked, not so subtly watching the way his back muscles moved under the blue t-shirt he wore.
He turned and Nesta cleared her throat and looked at him. He had a lead rope in his hand.
“Time to go catch you a horse, Nesta Archeron.”
——————
As the sun was setting, Nesta and Cassian walked back from the pasture, laughing.
“I had no idea that you were the one that released the dissection frogs!” Nesta said, locking the gate behind them. “Was it in protest of animal cruelty or something?”
Cassian thought for a second. “No, but if I had gotten caught, that probably would have been a better excuse than the one I would have gone with.”
Nesta chuckled. “Which was?”
He smirked and said, “Because I got bored.”
Nesta froze and watched him walk the rest of the way to the shed. “You let over four hundred frogs loose because you were bored?”
He put the ropes back in their place and locked the shed up. “Yup.” The grin on his face told her he, indeed, was proud of himself. And she was grinning, too.
Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Do you want to come have dinner with me?”
Cassian’s eyebrows raised. “Tonight?”
“Tonight, tomorrow night, whenever.” She shrugged, trying to play it off as a casual offer, and not that asking had filled her stomach with butterflies as strongly as it had when she had her first kiss. “We can meet for dinner in the main house every night. There’s no need for us to both cook.”
His smile returned, but it was softer. “I’d like that.”
They headed back around the front of the house, Cassian rattling off his favorite foods, most of which consisted of red meat and starches. When they came around the corner, Nesta froze.
Cassian’s words trailed off as he stopped beside her. A little black truck had pulled up, old and rusty. But the girl that came out of that little, rusty truck was stunning.
Nesta looked over at Cassian, to see if he recognized the young woman.
And, oh, he definitely did.
“Emerie,” he said, uncomfortably, clearing his throat. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d come by to say hello,” she crooned, grin wide. Then, she seemed to notice Nesta for the first time. “Oh. Who are you?”
Nesta blinked, then realized she was being spoken to. “I own this property.”
“Oh,” she breathed, eyes growing wide with recognition. “Your Isaac’s oldest? Wow.” She looked Nesta up and down, and the gesture had Nesta seeing red. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Emerie.”
“I’ve heard,” Nesta muttered.
Cassian was fiddling with the hem of his shirt when he said, “You know, we’re a little busy, Em, why don’t you come back later?”
“Later works,” she said, sliding her hands in her back pockets. “I was going to see if you wanted to have dinner, too, but it seems like you’re...taken care of.”
Cassian cleared his throat and said, “Nesta and I were just-.”
“Just finishing up for the day,” Nesta interrupted. She turned to Cassian and the warm, playful nature he’d seen emerging earlier had gone cold. “Thanks for showing me the ropes. I really appreciate it.” She began up the porch steps and Cassian reached for her hand. He gently gripped her fingers.
“Nesta, wait, let me explain. It’s-,” he dragged his hand down his face, the callouses catching on his stubble. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I fell for that once before,” she whispered, her fingers tightening in his. “I won’t fall for it again.”
A look of confusion crossed Cassian's face, but his hand dropped. Emerie had gotten the hint, had gotten back up into her truck and was backing out.
“Are you jealous?” He asked, and it was almost anger that replaced the spark in his hazel eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I’m not jealous,” Nesta snapped. “But it’s really inappropriate-“
“If you say that word one more time, Nesta, I swear on the fucking cauldron-.” Cassian’s words faded away and he raked his fingers through his long, tangled hair. “Must I remind you that you didn’t want me?”
There it was.
The words hung between them as complete silence consumed them, Emerie’s old truck driving away the only thing to be heard.
Nesta stared down at him, hurt written plainly across her face.
Hurt.
He had expected her to be jealous of Emerie, but he didn’t expect to see pain roiling in the depths of her eyes.
“Nesta, I-.”
She cut him off. “Did you lie to me?”
He blinked up at her, the sunset making her hair glow. “What?”
“That night, I asked you point blank if you had a girlfriend,” Nesta said, voice wavering. “You said no.”
“No,” Cassian said, eyes growing hard. “I have never lied to you, Nesta, I’m not a fucking liar. Emerie’s just a friend. She comes by every now and then. I haven’t seen her in months. She only comes by when she wants something.”
“Sex?” Nesta asked, before she could stop the word from tumbling out of her mouth.
Cassian shook his head, ignoring the short question altogether. “It doesn’t fucking matter. But, I’ve never lied to you. And, if you think I would lie to you….fuck.”
She could see the anger brewing inside of him, could see the frustration, but Nesta didn’t care, because she was pissed. And yet, she had no reason to be. He was right. She had turned him down. She had no right to care.
She was hurt, though.
And that hurt grew when she saw the hurt, saw the anguish, in his own eyes.
“I didn’t lie,” he repeated, looking away from her, out toward the pastures. “I’m a lot of things, Nesta, but I’m not a liar.”
She knew he wasn’t, knew it in every fiber of her being.
She hadn’t even been back in Velaris for a month, had just started to open up to the complicated man in front of her. Day and night, he always found a way to creep into her thoughts, into her dreams. But she couldn’t afford to be vulnerable, couldn’t afford to get tangled up with the man she couldn’t get off of her mind, no matter what she may want.
Not when her father's dream was on the line.
So Nesta closed her eyes, trying to hide the tears that has silently started slipping down her cheeks.
She turned her back to him, and hurried up the stairs of the main house.
Cassian was calling her name, but she forced herself to keep walking, to open the door, enter the house, shut herself inside.
She leaned against the slab of wood, stayed their as her eyes filled with tears, even as Cassian knocked on the other side.
“Nesta,” he said, voice calm, quiet, broken. “Hey, open up, come on.” He knocked again.
Nesta didn’t move.
She stayed there, leaning against the door, listening to him knock, listening to him beg.
But no matter what he said, Nesta didn’t open the door.
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