#TheArtOfTransliness

[frameacloud]

The above is a good post. Here are some additions.

T is not a form of birth control at all. The book Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is the most thorough and up-to-date book about transgender health written by trans people together with health professionals. It says,

"One of the most important things to remember is that testosterone is NOT birth control. In some of us assigned female at birth testosterone may decrease fertility, but this is not reliable and has not been tested clinically. Unintended pregnancy has occurred in [people] on testosterone for gender affirming hormone therapy."

- Laura Erickson-Schroth, ed. Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, 2nd edition, p. 594.

It's inadvisable to for someone to take T while pregnant or trying to get pregnant, and for many people T can temporarily pause their menstrual cycle as long as they're on it, but T does not prevent pregnancy by itself. If someone is on T and doesn't want to get pregnant, they need to also use some form of contraception. Many options for it won't interfere with T.

Some forms of hormonal contraception are compatible with being on T. In the years since the above post was written in 2012, Planned Parenthood's website and other resources have become much more inclusive of people who are transgender, so they have some good advice about this stuff. Planned Parenthood advises that if someone on T wants to add a hormonal form of contraception that won't interfere with T, "There are quite a few hormonal birth control options that don’t contain estrogen. These 'progestin-only' methods include: the implant (Implanon or Nexplanon), hormonal IUDs (Mirena, Skyla, and Liletta), the shot (Depo Provera), and even some kinds of birth control pills." Depending on which kind they are, these vary from 93% to more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. A person can also ask their health provider about using these to pause your menstrual cycle, if they're someone who finds that T doesn't do that for them by itself. (By the way, trans people who only want to pause their periods and don't want masculinization can ask about using birth control to do that without using T.)

Emergency contraception. If someone had sex without contraception, they can use emergency contraception within a few days afterward (the time limit depends on the exact method) to stop a pregnancy from being able to start. It's not an abortion, because the pregnancy doesn't start in the first place. Other than the copper intra-uterine device (which is the aforementioned non-hormonal IUD), the FSRH says that emergency contraception pills are compatible with being on T. Planned Parenthood has more info about these pills for people on T.

Permanent contraception. If someone on T never wants to get pregnant ever, they can get a procedure for permanent sterility: tubal ligation (having your "tubes tied"), or vasectomy for their partner, which are each almost 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. Hysterectomy (removing the uterus) is almost 100% effective at preventing pregnancy, or genuinely 100% effective if they also remove the ovaries and/or cervix.

Detecting a pregnancy while on T. If someone does unexpectedly get pregnant while on T, "those of us on testosterone often do not menstruate, so unintended pregnancy may be detected later in the course of the pregnancy because there is no missed menstrual period to alert us that we are pregnant" (Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, p. 594). If someone on T is wondering if they got pregnant, Planned Parenthood says an at-home pregnancy test will work okay, and trans hormone therapy won't interfere with it.

For people on T who want to have a baby: Testosterone doesn't permanently cause infertility. Pregnancy has been very well documented in trans people who had been on T, or had previously been on T, even if they weren't using any help for fertility (Light et al, 2014). Trans people temporarily take a break from being on T while pregnant or trying to get pregnant to make sure it will go okay. While off T, their menstrual cycle and fertility return, and they can have a baby as successfully as they would have. Famously, this is how Thomas Beatie had his children. He wasn't really the first man to do it, but he's the best-known. (Wikipedia's not a reliable source, but this is a good enough overview about this famous person.) The FDA warns that being on T while pregnant is known to be harmful to the developing fetus (Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, p. 594). The paper insert that your pharmacy gives you with your prescribed T gives this warning, too. The FSRH explains that being on T while pregnant can masculinize the fetus. That's if the person on T is the one who carries the pregnancy, though. The Gender Analysis blog talks about how if someone on T wants to freeze or donate eggs, they can pause taking T for a short amount of time. The process is no different than it is for anyone who freezes or donates their eggs. There have been a couple of studies where trans men who didn't even stop taking T have successfully been able to donate eggs to their partner, who carried the pregnancy successfully.

Some more resources about safer sex and contraception for trans men and trans masculine people.

The Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (FSRH) has a document about contraceptive options for trans people.

(Warning: this next link has content that's more explicit than most sex education materials about safer sex.) The Gay Men's Sexual Alliance created the queer sex ed booklet "Primed: The Back Pocket Guide for Trans Men and the Men Who Dig Them," which has relevant precautions and tips to know if you're having sex with cisgender men.

"Check It Out, Guys" is about Pap tests for trans men. It has resources for ordinary trans men, as well as for their providers. If you're sexually active and have a cervix, then you need Paps to check for sexually transmitted infections that could cause cancer for you or your partners.

The Terrence Higgins Trust has a section with a bunch of great articles on safer sex and sexual health for trans men and trans masculine people.

Safer Sex and Contraception for Trans Guys

A lot of us are less than well-informed about how to have safe sex and prevent pregnancy as trans guys, partially because there isn’t a lot of information out there specifically for us. 

-For oral sex involving vulvas (vulvae?), a good way to reduce the chance of STI transmission is to use dental dams. These can be purchased at sex shops and similar locations or created using saran wrap, condoms, latex gloves, or other materials. They are also sometimes available for free or very cheap at university health centers, Planned Parenthoods, and LGBTQ resource centers. 

-If you’re using a prosthetic/dildo for vaginal, oral, or anal sex, it is important to make sure the materials it is made of are safe and that it is kept clean. Certain materials are more likely to grow bacteria than others, and certain materials contain phthalates, which are chemicals used to soften PVC and may be dangerous (a good rule of thumb to tell if a prosthetic contains phthalates is if it has a greasy texture and/or smells strongly of plastic). Prosthetics that are labeled non-porous and phthalate-free are generally safer, but that doesn’t let you off the hook for regular cleaning. Different materials require different cleaning methods, and so it’s good to do your research. If you are unsure if your prosthetic is clean and free of harmful chemicals, using a condom can help make things a bit safer for your partner. As a side note, if you suspect that your packer may contain harmful chemicals, you may want to wear it so it is not directly against your skin (for instance over your underwear or in its own little sock). 

-Testosterone may stop you from ovulating, but it probably isn’t a good idea to use it as your only form of birth control. Hormonal birth control while on testosterone is not really an option, so the pill, patch, and shot are out. However, condoms, diaphragms, and non-hormonal IUDs are still effective options for guys on T (this is not a complete list of all methods, and not all methods are created equal, look up effectiveness and weigh the pros and cons of each method). Hormonal birth control is fine for guys who are not on testosterone, although many trans* guys are uncomfortable with some of the “feminizing” effects hormonal birth control may have (for example, breast enlargement or breast tenderness). 

For more information on safer sex and contraception, check out Planned Parenthood’s website (unfortunately pretty much geared toward cis people but still pretty helpful), MegaThatcher’s video on Safe Sex for Trans Guys, and Queertransmen.org.

[nbandtransmascblogging]

I was wondering if I could go through this blog to find some advice on what I should do in the days before my top surgery and the weeks after while I recover? Anyone with any advice can like, message me or comment on this ask or however this works, I've never done this before lol but I'm super anxious about my surgery since I've never had any kind of surgery before, or undergone anesthesia of any kind. Closest I've gotten is numbing stuff for dental work lol so any help would be great, ty!!

Sometimes people talk about their experiences with top surgery here, but it’s not really the focus of the blog.  

This site has information that may help: https://www.healthline.com/health/transgender/top-surgery

It’s not active anymore, but I used to follow theartoftransliness on tumblr for info.  They have a top surgery tag: https://theartoftransliness.com/tagged/top+surgery

Others may have tips for you.  I have had top surgery but I have serious memory issues, so I don’t recall all the details of how it went.  But if specific questions come up, feel free to ask, and we can crowdsource for information!

[whoneedssexed]

do you have any trans resource blogs you can recommend, particularly ftm/ftnb?

@trans-advice

@theartoftransliness

@crossdreamers​

@advicefortranskids

@pre-t-advice (not active but still could have useful posts)

@transgenderteensurvivalguide​

@tmitransitioning

@transstudent

Those are just a few, does anyone have more?

- mod BP

[aximili]

hey axx this is such a dumb question but like what kind of clothes do you wear to work? i'm about to start my first non retail job which means no uniform i just have to dress nice and professional and i have no idea what that means and im trans and just live in jeans and t shirts so have no idea what kind of clothes to look for that arent like blouses and skirts which is what i wear to interviews until now but im tryna be taken seriously as a guy even tho i know i dont pass at all akjshajshfs

im sorry to say that bc i work in a hospital i wear an xtremely stylish set of purple scrubs ... and every past job ive also had a uniform..... so im not really ur man for this. i mean for semi formal occasions i usually just go for patterned button up shirts and fitted but not skinny trousers in black or grey (jeans that don’t look like jeans r fine) :0 bow ties are also very good if ur collar looks a bit bare. if ur a british manlet like me then primark & topman are good for stuff like that that fits decently and wont swamp u. @theartoftransliness blog is quite a good resource for style & presentation! 

[pinkmlm]

okay! so ! thank you to @theartoftransliness for the idea with the milk jug handle! i found out an easy way to pack with it too! get a binder clip and clip it to your boxers, adjust, and bam! you've got yourself a bona (haha) fide cheap packer/stp combo! (sorry for the awkward pictures of my gential area)

[emergency-dispatch-needed-blog]

So tumblr hid this post from the search results because the post includes links, but I do really want this to circulate especially with all the misinformation I see being spread so I'm going to tag some active trans advice blogs.

@realtransadvice @transgenderteensurvivalguide @ftmconfessional @transgenderadvice @advicefortranskids @theartoftransliness @askatransguy @transmed-advice @pre-t-advice

Please consider signal boosting this.

⚠Stay Educated⚠

Even after years of trans people and transitioning being in the social spotlight, I still see misinformation about hrt being spread among trans people. There’s people on tumblr saying that testosterone will make your pelvic bone shrink and that EVERY trans guy’s chest shrinks on hrt. There’s people on reddit saying that estrogen and anti-androgens will make a trans woman shorter and make her lips fuller. I’ve even seen a blog dedicated to advice and resources tell their followers that testosterone and phalloplasty will give them male orgasms!

⚠Do ⚠ Not⚠ Believe⚠ What⚠ Strangers ⚠ Online ⚠ Say⚠ People who actually fact check instead of believing whatever will comfort them are RARE.

Why believe me, a stranger online? Because I’m going to link you guys to ACTUAL resources.

⭐⭐⭐⭐👑⭐⭐⭐⭐

Here is a guide to hrt for trans men and here is one for trans women, both published by the University of California.

⭐⭐⭐⭐👑⭐⭐⭐⭐

It’s important to STAY EDUCATED. KNOW what to expect. Lies can be attractive and give hope, but in the long run, they’ll lead to depression, disappointment, and flared dysphoria because you went on hrt thinking that hrt is a magic wand that makes everyone look like a super model.

If your hips are wide because of bone and you have no fat there, your hips will stay the way they are on T. Taking etrogen does not make you shorter and if you do lose height for whatever reason, SEE A DOCTOR! Your bones are weakening! This can be because of old age, genetics, or because of a side effect of another medication that you might be taking. Your doctor needs to know.

⭐💁⭐

Notice that both urls of the hrt guides I linked end in .edu. Articles ending in a .gov or a .edu are more likely to be good resources because they’re not published by random, unqualified people screaming their thoughts into the void. Resources from doctors and scholars when it comes to very complicated things like surgeries and hormone replacement therapy is what you want. A blog post written by a 15 year old who’s telling everyone what a questionable stranger over on reddit taught him? Not what you want.

But it’s still going to be okay!

It’s OKAY to be a short man with wide hips. It’s OKAY to be a tall woman with wide shoulders! As long as you are honest with yourself and get to know your own body, you can make the decisions that are right for you. Pick which clothes to wear to help you pass, watch make up gurus, look at the products that are available (binders, underwear designed for tucking, hip padding, work out regimens, etc). Check out the advice made by people who pass irl on what worked for them.

💇💅 💇💅 💇💅

Passing tips for trans women.

Passing tips for trans men.

💪🏈💪🏈💪🏈

If after everything, you believe that hrt and surgeries will not be enough for you to pass, then all hope isn’t lost. There’s people who weighed the pros and cons and decided to not go forward with transitioning, but there’s also people who worked on their confidence to the point they went through with everything anyway and lived the life they wanted with their head held high. Do what’s right for you. Just don’t go in blind.

[galway-bae]

any fav tumblrs run by trans boys?

my sweet trans boy mutuals whom I love: @spaceboy @gayonnaise @princeofseas @kyleandthekids @mouse-mumblings

as far as Trans Blogs tm for transmasc peeps go I like @theartoftransliness 

[theartoftransliness]

Older and wiser

[nbandtransmascblogging]

idk wether here is the right place for this but im 15 and i hav a really feminine face ! i wondered if you have any hair ideas for me to hide certain features (eg. i have rlly profound female cheekbones?)

It’s important to realize that cis men can have “feminine” faces, so there’s no reason trans men can’t.  There are cis guys out there that have the same profound cheekbones you do, and they get praised for it! 

That said, there’s a lot more pressure on trans men to be masculine then there is on cis men.  Not everyone can be comfortable with having looks they consider feminine.  So I get why you need to find a haircut that makes you comfortable. 

We don’t really do passing tips here, but some followers may have some suggestions.  You can also check out @theartoftransliness. They have a lot of resources on passing.  

[whoneedssexed]

Uh I just got my first packer and I have a psychological and/or sensual connection to wearing it (I don't really know how else to describe it)??? Is this normal? It's very odd. It also seems my best bet is positioning it against the balls to conceal a noticeable bulge, but if you have any tips about this would be open to them.

Yes it’s “normal” in that this is a common experience from what I hear. A lot of people become psychologically connected to packers or strap-ons as if they are a part of their bodies, and that’s one reason why it can be dysphoria-alleviating.

I don’t know much about positioning packers, unfortunately.  @theartoftransliness and @transgenderteensurvivalguide​ might have some information?

https://transthetics.com/how-to-position-your-package/

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/

Does anyone have more information?

- mod BP

[bananawednesday]

This questionnaire was created by my research partner and I, and is exploring the differences in opinion between cisgender, transgender, and gender nonconforming people. We are interested in cis, trans*, gender nonconforming, nonbinary trans, etc. respondents. Again, the only restrictions are you have to be 18-23, and currently attending a university.

[everyoneisgay]

Your (Book) Questions, Answered: Week Four!

This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids comes out on September 9th! THAT IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY OMG OMG OMG OMG

Many of you, understandably (and awesomely) have questions about wtf this book is all about - sooooo, we are taking your questions in our Tumblr ask box, and will answer 4 every Saturday (**edit: we are a day late, it is Sunday, we knowwww**) until we answer them all!

TADA!!!!

Hi! Does the book have anything on gender identity/genderqueerness etc?

WHAT AN EXCELLENT AND IMPORTANT QUESTION.

YES! We would never have written a book that did not address gender identity and gender expression. However, we would also never be so presumptuous to write an entire chapter on gender identity/expression ourselves since we both identify as cisgendered. So, in the early stages of our writing, we formed a team of people who were either parents of transgender children, or who identified as trans* themselves, and they shaped the questions that are included in our gender chapter.  We then collaborated directly with Zak from The Art of Transliness and his mom Sherri (aka PFLAG Mom) to create the language that went into those answers. Zak and Sherri both also have their personal stories in that chapter!  The book's glossary of terms also covers many identities on the gender spectrum, and the gender chapter starts with a basic discussion on the difference between gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality.

You guys always seem to have cool stories about your life so far. Are there any of your stories in the book?

Yes! The book actually begins (after the introduction) with each of our personal coming out stories!

There is also at least one story from one or both of us in each chapter, tied into particular advice questions. For example, Dannielle has a small story that goes along with the question that addresses gender expression and clothing choices, and Kristin has a small story that goes along with the relationship between sexuality and faith.

Each chapter also has two longer stories that are not from us, but rather from one parent and one kid -- those stories also tie into the overall chapter theme (Gender, Religion, Telling Others, Etc)!! Stories, stories, galore!

Do you know if you will be supplying libraries in other countries apart from the US, so parents can find the book there as well?

We definitely have distribution in Canada, but past that we will be waiting to see what happens during the pre-order season (now!) and then after the official release. Those sales and that reception will determine a lot for the future of the book! That said, if you have a specific need, please email us at parentsproject (at) everyoneisgay (dot) com and we will always forward it on to our publisher / do our best to make things happen! 

About your new book coming out, if it becomes successful, are you planning on writing a sequel to it answering more parent's questions about this subject?

Oh man, yes and how. We'd love to write another book to help parents with even more questions, but there are also tons of possibilities on writing a book for LGBTQ young people. Personal stories from us, advice, drawings of cats WHO KNOWS YOU KNOW?!

It's probably the kind of thing where we will see what happens with this release and then talk and brainstorm and ask the universe what comes next. That's generally how we run the whole business sooooo...

Also maybe we could write a joint memoir. It could be titled “LOL YOU GUYS THO”

This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids comes out on September 9th (*more squeals*), and is already totally available for pre-order (*so many more squeals*)

<3<3<3

[chaseross]

theartoftransliness replied to your post: anonymous asked:As a guy getting ...

Is there such a thing as too old for Tumblr????!

lol i know right~

[folina-mmxii]

I reblogged this on one of my older blogs roughly 4 or 5 years ago and it was more important then than it is now. While I don’t struggle as hard with some of these points as I did at the beginnning of my transition, they are still important. Just not as important. I made sure I sent this to myself so I didn’t loose it because how powerful it was to me at the time. I think mainly because a friend of mine talked to me about this very post and how they affirmed me about this at the time. It meant a lot to have someone I actually know reaffirm some of these things. Actually, all but one. But this is my reminder post every so often. That yes, this is you. No matter what the rest of the world says at time.

to the manliest men i know,

When you say “I wish I had a dick.”

My stomach drops.

Because I am pretty sure that’s what I came all over last night.

When you say “I don’t feel like a man.”

I want to point out that you were the one who got up with me in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom after we watched ‘Hide and Seek.’

When you say “I wish I was a real boy.”

I cringe and try to explain you through my eyes.

You are wearing that muscle shirt that makes my heart skip a beat.

I swear your chest have never looked flatter.

You have more courage than anyone I know.

It shows every time you hold your breath and step into a public restroom.

Your voice, getting deeper after a few weeks of the adorable squeaking,

Makes my knees weak when you say my name.

I agree, you are not a boy at all. 

You’re a man.

- I just want all the transguys out there to know how amazingly sexy they are. Because, i dont think you realize it. 

[raewho]

10 month update / Chat about the fears and evolving of sexuality with Adrian ( theartoftransliness.tumblr.com ), Bee, Madi, and Silas!

[whoneedssexed]

How can I deal with dysphoria regarding my chest in the summer? I still live with my parents, so I can't bind and wearing hoodies in this heat is a death wish

You could try shirts that are too big for you, especially t-shirts and button up flannel/plaid types. When these are oversized, they tend to hide defining features. A lot of people who are insecure about their bodies use these, so I think it should also work for chest dysphoria.

That’s the only thing I know. Unless you can secretly buy a binder and then wear it when you’re out of the house away from your parents.

Does anyone have better suggestions? Perhaps you can try over at @theartoftransliness or @tmitransitioning​ or @transgenderteensurvivalguide​?

- mod BP