#The way you guys keep making up connections to feminism here is deeply embarrassing

[marmorada]

It's probably because the Taliban is stopping women from going to school because they hate women, while Hamas started the current war by going on an antisemitic rape, mutilation, and murder rampage knowing it would start this war, having built and quartered their military in and under schools on purpose. And are now as we speak continuing to enslave and rape female hostages, and every single time a ceasefire comes up they refuse to release those hostages. Israeli education is also being constantly disrupted by Hamas' and Hezbollah's constant bombings, of course the difference being that Israel bothers to allow them access to shelters because lives are more important than propaganda & they don't teach 6 year old girls that committing suicide bombings is their greatest aspiration.

I guess Israeli girls and women (which very much does include muslims and Druze which are also among the dead, hostaged, and displaced) do not matter to the above posters either which makes one wonder why they feel themselves superior.

You are not drumming up support for Gaza, you are dumping on Afghan girls by demanding support for them be contingent on a separate cause you KNOW is widely controversial.

We don’t talk about this Starbucks feminism enough.

[soovaryit]

Meme by @scariest_bug_ever aka my favourite person on the internet. I’m PMSing HARD, I’ve listened to The Climb by Miley Cyrus at least 20 times today, my boobs hurt and I don’t really want to post this but here I go.  These are my awkward ramblings about sex and dating that I will inevitably regret, part 1/2. (sorry mum and dad). I think I’m right in saying that ‘dating’ (even that word makes me cringe beyond belief) as a 20 something is a messy and mostly underwhelming experience. Dating apps add a new level of confusion to the mind fuck that is trying to find someone you connect, then throw in chronic illness and you have a really, really fun time. It’s important to say that these are just my opinions and general observations as a cis white woman who and I apologise if it’s boring heteronormative whining, it’s just (some of) my own experience. And I’m not generalising on the male population here either, again just stating things that have happened to me and most people I know. That’s the disclaimer over with. But ALSO bear in mind when reading this that I’m totally into text book romance really. And I want to find someone that I can build a life and a home with and pop out a few kids if my dodgy ovaries let me. I’m embarrassed now. But what I’m trying to say is that this isn’t a tragic ‘love doesn’t exist’ post, just honesty about the seemingly pointless and disheartening situations you end up in when trying to find something genuine with someone. I’m gonna start by stating the obvious, that dating apps like Tinder = toxic for the most part. Obviously it’s something I participate in, and me and my housemate Ali equally love and hate swiping through bios that read ‘Hey is good enough for a horse but I’d like something more constructive ladies’ and ‘£100 if you sit on my face right now!!!’ (I have a folder called ‘worst tinder’ if you ever feel like being traumatised). But on a level, it’s fucking depressing and reduces you to some kind of weird left swiping robot with no regard for humans. I know people who (and have myself) actually made genuine and lasting connections through it and that’s lovely, and one of the ways that the internet isn’t completely destroying humanity.   The main problem for me is that we’ve literally been brainwashed into finding THE ONE and the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE in a perfect situation where everything is magical and maybe Ryan Gosling will turn up and row you through a lake of swans or shout at you in the rain or something. Anyway, we sort of flail around expecting to find this probably non-existent person that we have super high expectations of whilst trying to find our focus in life, scrape by on pitiful salaries, plan our future, keep our physical and mental health intact and drink to numb the stress of all these things (if you haven’t gathered yet I’m finding my 20’s stressful guys). Navigating the dating scene when my health and sanity was in ruins wasn’t the best part of my life and I’m sure people were left with less than great impressions of me. I would not recommend doing this to yourself when feeling fragile; despite the part of your brain that cries ‘Put yourself out there!!! You’re young and free!!! Silence your depressing thoughts by drinking excessively with someone you don’t know very well!!!’  From the past few years of dating (ew that word), the thing I’ve noticed the most is how people seem to be desperate to make instant connections. Whether it be sexual, romantic, long term, short term, it seems less about knowing and understanding the people you meet and more about what you do with them or how often they appear in your snapchats or instagram stories. This is bearing in mind that I’ve participated in this strange, toxic world myself and am guilty of things too. Also to be clear I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with dating for sex , which is fun if there is a level of honesty and respect involved (I am sex positive make no mistake). It’s the expectations of dating that matter and the tedious situations that can occur when people aren’t upfront. I’ve noticed a particularly tiring and misleading new game that heterosexual men seem to play which I’ve decided to call ‘the girlfriend experience’ for the purpose of this blog (yeah I know that’s a service offered at brothels but shhh wait). The girlfriend experience is usually wanted by insecure men, desperate for a real connection but terrified of admitting that to themselves. They want a one night stand, or maybe even to see you regularly, and while they’re with you they will unleash a torrent of emotional baggage on you, attempt to exhibit all the traits you want in a partner, do ‘romantic’ things with you … and ignore you when you expect a fraction of attention back. This kind of shit has happened to me and probably everyone I know. Typically, this guy will then go on to sort of ‘lad’ about, assuming women will fall at his feet and returning to you whenever he so pleases. He will never explicitly state that he is just in it for sex, or even that he would like sex with a cup of tea and a nice chat after (which, in every case this that happened with, I would have been down for). He will instead lead you to a confusing point where you see him all the time, but are completely disregarded as a human being outside of sexual situations (and most importantly, in front of his friends). He will discuss feminism with you but show you (and women in general) a huge lack of respect. *side – note, this is similar to the traits of ‘faux feminist man’ and ‘Nice Guy™ ’ but slightly different – they will be explained later.*  I realise this might sound like I’m talking about one experience with one person but honestly, I’ve seen and heard about this scenario a million times. Is this what people call a fuckboy? Probably. Either way, if you are one of these guys: get a grip. State your intentions. Surprisingly, the people you're involved with will probably not break down at the fact you don’t get to be their one and only, and will probably just appreciate your honesty, enjoy seeing you casually or say that they’re looking for something more and say bye. Just be a sensible, emotionally mature human because it’s really boring and no ones gonna pat you on the back for it (and if they do they’re as stupid as you). I am 100% going to do a separate blog on faux feminist man (wears the slogan t-shirts, can name one popular White Feminist and becomes deeply offended when you’re not into him when he made the EFFORT to treat women like HUMANS, like god cut him some slack and show your appreciation through some lacklustre sex at least) and Nice Guy™ (most overused phrases: ‘Not all men are like that’, ‘I’m not like that though’ and my all-time FAVE ‘I’m not a feminist, I’m an equalist.’ A MILLION DICKHEAD POINTS TO YOU THEN MATE) because the world needs to be protected from them. Also Nice Guy™ isn’t really gender specific, it’s more a phenomenon that’s risen out of a combination of privilege and apathy towards anyone different from you. Got a bit carried away with the descriptions really but yeah.   My really embarrassing conclusion is this: The few times in my short life that I’ve genuinely been in love have been with flawed, messy human beings just like me and not a weird shiny social media representation that you briefly fall in love with and are inevitably disappointed by. I have no advice for anyone looking for someone to be with other than cliché, vomit inducing ‘love yourself first’ type bullshit. What I realistically mean is:  - Don’t expect one person to solve all your problems. - Don’t confuse love with having an emotional sponge who will absorb your negativity. - Don’t expect the person you’re with to turn you into a better version of yourself (usually at the expense of their wellbeing). - No one likes facing up to their problems and shortcomings but just do it cos it’s awful but you’ll come out the other side feeling more secure in yourself. - MOST importantly, don’t confuse passion and excitement for manipulation and emotional abuse. Went really serious at the end there but seriously it is easy to do and it’s important to watch out for it. Despite this train wreck of a blog post, these days I feel much more ready to let someone in having spent a few years sorting my own shit out.I look forward to the day I find someone who enjoys Louis Theroux documentaries, getting into bed at 5pm and scrolling through memes as much as I do. Part 2 of this blog will be more focused on the difficulty of maintaining honesty/expectations when dating when you’re also dealing with your own mind and body being against you. HAPPY FRIDAY.