#The most important thing is respect of yr coworkers if you are trying to get promoted. She believes this

[selfcontainedunivcrse]

ive been thinking of a silly scp oc (Courtesy of my buddy making me get into it) . She's just some guy who works on the tech side of things. she's fresh out of regular science university and wanted a cozy govt job with experience in her field to look good on her resume while she works on getting her masters. This is not that

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Hi! I've followed you for a while and you always seem to have really helpful tips and answers to questions about writing characters, so I was wondering if you could help me. I'm writing a character who's a pathological liar, and I was wondering if you had any advice for writing him.

Good question!  Compulsive liars tend to be born from: 

A) childhood abuse or very strict parents that forced them to lie in order to avoid punishment, leading to a cycle of dishonesty that’s difficult to break, and/or: 

B) a personality disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder.  

Either way, compulsive liars are telling lies to preserve themselves, to get attention, and/or to convey a certain version of themselves to the world.

More “sinister” and organized pathological liars will study the person they wish to deceive, look for weaknesses subconsciously or otherwise that they can exploit on.  

Some lack empathy, and some have an excess amount of it (which often enables them to lie better.)  More empathetic liars will often feel guilty for lying and relieved once you stop asking questions on the subject, whereas less empathetic liars (often on the sociopathy spectrum) can comfortably lie for long periods of time.  These less empathetic liars will often feel little-to-no discomfort or shame after having been caught in a lie, and will often try to use another lie to cover it.

There’s an article containing the confessions of pathological liars and real-life accounts of people’s attempts to confront the pathological liars in their lives here.

Here’s one account of a man’s marriage with a manipulative, sociopathic pathological liar:

I married a sociopath. Of course, I didn’t realize that there were those types of human beings in existence. Near the end of our 2 yr. marriage is when I started realizing she had been lying to me & her coworkers (destroying my character) so that she could attempt to have me arrested on false DV charges. Imagine the realization of this from your spouse. I guess she was through with me, so this was her way of disposing of me. I found out later after meeting her ex that she had succeeded in having him arrested on false DV charges (they didn’t stick, because, well, they were false!) He is a really nice man.

I found out some incredulous lies, some just downright crazy, and some directed solely to destroy my character. When I confronted her with several of these lies she would lie again to cover, or simply state "you weren’t there", etc. The problem is that I spoke with people who were there in the certain instances. My take on it is that one could confront a person such as my ex (who is a validated sociopath ~ by way of psychological testing) until one’s death and not accomplish anything positive. I’ll agree with the one thing that another person stated: When confronted with the truth, there is a long silence.

I have to deal with this person with outrageously horrible behavior because I had children by her. The interesting thing is that she didn’t really "target to destroy" me until she was underway with the second pregnancy. Once I got my feet under me, and started investigating I uncovered lie after lie concerning her parents, my parents, me, my friends, you name it. Nothing was sacred from being destroyed by her lying. I uncovered an affair she had also.

From this experience I may be an incurable cynic on the topic of rehabilitation from chronic lying.

Truth and trust are missing from a liar’s dictionary, and it can’t be penciled in later. My ex uses lies to manipulate people into believing a certain thing or making people act (usually it’s for punitive control, getting what she wants regardless of others, etc.).

Here’s one from the child of pathological liars:

I am pretty sure both of my parents are compulsive liars. My father has been audited several times by the IRS, denied stealing money from me when I was a working teen, and encouraged us kids to lie about his affair -we met his mistress when we were preteens. I think my mom enables his behavior or is a compulsive liar, too. The most significant evidence of their behavior is this: neither my mom not dad will admit that they believe I was raped. After our alcoholic bi-polar brother died in 2004, my older sister spilled the beans that I was raped at camp in 1980 when I was 16. My sister said our brother started drinking because I was raped at camp. No evidence exists to support any rape. My parents use this mythical rape to explain why I spent almost 3 months in a mental health care facility. I am 45 years old now. I found about this horrible lie in 2004—now I understand why my entire family treated me in such a bizarre way. Compulsive lying must be just a small part of mental illness. I am bi-polar and am having success with medical and counseling, but two years ago this chemical imbalance almost cost me my husband and 2 children. I am still praying for wisdom on how to treat my parents who are 75 and 78 and very ill. I know Jesus will give me wisdom and strength to continue loving and respecting my parents and help me not to be a victim of them. Their big lie about me has definitely tainted many relationships in my life.

And one that shows how a pathological liar can be born out of the unrealistic expectations of parents:

I can also understand why a compulsive liar lies. Mainly because I have recently discovered I am one. I truly don’t know why I lie, but I have read the symptoms and I concur that I lie to protect myself. I grew up in a middle class family. I was basically the star student in my earlier grades (1st through 3rd) and mt parents never really let me forget it. I actually began to slack in school a bit, and thats my fault. But as soon as I received my first B my parents grounded me for a long time. (I do remember this.) And from there on they continued to make sure my homework was always done and would never let me leave the house until it was done.

I think that’s when it all started...I began to lie to my parents and tell them my homework was done so I could go play with friends sooner. I’m not sure how but, I as time went on I lied more and more. I, actually to the point where I can lie to myself and believe in false things. I tell my parents that they tell me things, or that they don’t tell me things to get out of a sticky situation so I’m not punished. I do it to everyone now because I’m always afraid of the punishment. I am currently in a great relationship that is slowly slipping away. I truly mean no harm to anyone but my girlfriend is amazing...I don’t know how she puts up with me. I lie about the littlest things. Their family is on vacation and I forgot to mow their lawn...and I was talking to her, I told her that I mowed it...when I didn’t yet, but she didn’t even come home for another week so there was not point in lying.

I am currently seeing help and I advise all those that know a compulsive liar to help them. Because its hard and self-confusing. It’s instinct to lie for us, and it feels weird when I tell the truth...

It’s important to know that not all pathological liars are malicious or bad people.  Some of them are using it as a survival strategy, not a means of abuse.   That said, there are pathological liars who genuinely are abusive and harmful to the people around them, who should be avoided as much as possible (but can be very interesting to write.)

I hope this helps, and happy writing!

[fanblogme-blog]

After School Additional Activities For Children

Is it really that easy? A neighbor, a coworker, even my accountant have all suggested to me that companion dancing is the way for me to meet solitary men. I've been to a contra dance or two over the many years, and tried Zydeco once. It was enjoyable, but because I am not the best at companion dancing, I think I frustrate my partners. At Northwest Folklife Pageant 1 yr I joined the humongous sq. dance and was reprimanded by one of the people in my sq. - I guess I wasn't using it critically enough. Check out a few various dance studios. Most dance studios will offer group and personal classes. Look for studios offering a mixture of the two. How many teachers do they have? Do they have an introductory offer?

Learn Dance In Amer Road Jaipur

When I initial started dancing in Florida, the previous-school Greek/Turkish/Am-Cab fashion was all there was. Floorwork! Zills! Karsilama! Egyptian fashion was pretty much unknown then. So the advent of Egyptian style and tribal are the greatest changes I've seen. As much as the actual neighborhood, truly, not much has changed. The faces have, but the vibe and personality types truly haven't. Things ebb and flow - sometimes there are a great deal of restaurants with dancing and a lot of local seminars, occasionally not. It all top 10 dance classes in amer road jaipur cycles back around.

Meanwhile, the fifth suggestion on how to have a flattened belly is as fascinating as the other people. Try ballroom dancing. Enrolling in the dance classes does not only assist to improve your feet's coordination but also assist you to free some fat. Why not try it with your husband? Apart from having enjoyable together or making this turn out to be a memorable encounter, dancing will also help you have a nice flat belly. Aside from that, it could also help you gain a renewed self confidence and socialize with other people. Children who are left on your own to contend with too a lot totally free time invariably fall into the wrong company. After school programs maintain them occupied. Children enjoy on their own in a supervised action. Almost all of us don't think about over our children turning into impacted in criminal tasks, at least not all the way following it has happened. The fact is that when tender people do participate in crime, it regularly takes location following school while parents are still at function. Kids who have available to go and some thing to do after college have less unsupervised time on their hands, so they're much less most likely to get involved with the incorrect group. Even if you don't see them at your kid's school, there are plenty of kids obtaining into facts they shouldn't.

Aerial dance teacher, Dusti Morales, who teaches at the Center Phase School of Dance in El Cajon, California, showed off her grace, strength and beauty whilst demonstrating the climbs, poses, and drops to her students on Saturday, March 02, 2013.

Amer Road Jaipur Quality Dance Classes

These 5 tips will certainly help you improve your confidence. Now that you know them, it's time to take the initial stage towards achieving your goal. Create a stage-by-step plan and really devote yourself to it. I'm certain that you'll quickly discover first results. Good luck and keep in mind to have enjoyable! I cherished taking dance classes as a teenager, and occasionally I nonetheless skip being in a studio, listening to and sensation the music, studying combinations and allowing my entire body to transfer freely and organically. At any time really feel like that? Or maybe you sometimes really feel a little stale in your yoga apply and you want to include a little thoughts-body variety. Perhaps you've just been viewing So You Believe You Can Dance and considering that all that dancing appears like a lot of fun. I additionally see that a great deal parents keep differing the tasks each year or even worse nonetheless every phrase. By doing this you are really unknowingly teaching your kid to give up. Give the child and the activity a quantity of time. Allow he or she develop curiosity in it and set up himself in it. Following giving it many consistent time if you nonetheless find that your child is not enjoying the activity then alone modify it. The a lot important thing that your child is in a position to gain from this type of action is getting an superb time. Your kid possibly functions very difficult to preserve the sort of grades that you expect, so let them experience something that they can appreciate until they go house and begin working on any homework assignments that they may have. Size of Ship: There are small, medium and large ships that can accommodate from 900 to 1300 and 2500 travellers respectively. Of program, there are the extremely small vessels that have only 100 passengers but you will pay for it (i.e. River Cruising).

There is one extra reward to meeting new people at dance classes. In contrast to when you satisfy somebody at a bar, the individuals you satisfy at dance classes are usually sober! You have a better chance of getting to know somebody when they are not consuming.

Dance Classes For Boys

Before you embark on your weight reduction journey, don't be frightened to appear to your friends and family members for support. You can generally expect a extremely good response, and numerous of your buddies will make an work to regard your excess weight loss plan by selecting restaurants or venues where low-body fat or healthier options are on the menu.

Nike produces a wide variety of footwear, the Nike Musique, which are ideal for Zumba. These shoes are lightweight, comfy and the plant is specifically developed for this dance aerobics courses. This is definitely a shoe that we recommend. Of course one of the very best excess weight reduction solutions is to exercise. Get into a some type of bodily activity like aerobics or dance courses. You could also try Yoga, swimming or biking. In case, if you do not have the time to join any extra classes, try to get more physical action included in your schedule: instead of using the bus when you are going out for buying, you can go on foot. So if you don't want to do a harm for your health, you should undertake the more healthy way to shed your excess weight. This way is better than utilizing fast solutions, as they end up harming much more than they do well.

[sketcheeguy]

FOMO! Teacher is talking to their fellow teacher without inviting me

A message board post from Etiquette Hell:

Hello. DH and I have found ourselves in a predicament involving another family. Because we feel emotional about the situation and don’t wish to come off childish due to that, we could really use some non-biased insight as to how to move forward in a civilized way that will possibly still allow us to remain acquaintances and occasionally have play-dates with these people. Why? Because the other family’s kids are genuinely nice and we don’t encounter much of that in our rural neck of the woods.

BG: We met this family in our area, who we have a lot in common with, and eventually got together for a play-date/dinner. While we found the parents to be mostly arrogant and condescending, we thought the children had excellent interactions together. Some time later we sent a thank you note and a reply email arrived immediately inviting us back. Eventually (last week) we were able to coordinate our schedules enough to visit again.

We’ve visited with them only twice so far. The first time we were over, the mom (Marge) was really pushing a particular school for our almost highschooler (Ashley) that Marge teaches at and all of her kids attend but we knew about this style of schooling a little bit and didn’t entertain the option for our family. During the second and most recent visit, she again brought up the school almost as soon as we arrived and was able to convince me to research it further and as I learned more I became very interested in the school. She loaned me a couple textbooks to thumb through but she needs them back within the next 2 months for her child to use.

That evening, DH and I discussed the school and one of the selling points for us was Ashley and Marge’s child (Bella) who get along great, would be in the same class. Another thing was that Marge also offered to provide transportation since the school is a long drive for us and they live so close to us and will be driving out there anyways. However, those two things were not the major driving factors (no pun intended), the most important thing was the curriculum.

The next day Marge called (per my request) because I had a few questions left before we could make our final decision. She was extremely short and testy which sat wrong with me because I am by nature very open and warm (I do realize my writing style doesn’t necessarily convey that but I’m trying to be direct and not overly wordy here). Afterwards, I didn’t know if I could deal with this person on a regular basis and be on the receiving end of any favors (transportation). But, after another discussion with DH we decided we should directly speak to the teacher (Jeff) that Ashley would have and make our final decision following that. I very politely emailed Marge a request for the teacher’s phone number as I couldn’t obtain it any other way. She obliged. We thought that would be the end of that and we would call Jeff this week.

Late last night, I received an email from Marge stating she’s bummed to have to report that Jeff’s class has become suddenly full. She also forwarded me the conversation between Jeff and herself. Apparently she felt the need to take it upon herself to give Jeff a heads-up that we’d be calling and went into detail about our family while simultaneously stating she doesn’t know us that well. She summarized Ashley’s personality and pointed out her struggles with a certain subject and that she offered to help us with that because, she is a self proclaimed expert in said subject. Then she mentioned how we (the parents) wanted Ashley and Bella to be in the same class and Ashley would be riding to school with them. The “heads-up” was concluded with her telling Jeff to give HER a call if he has any questions. Jeff’s side of the conversation was where he very straight forwardly informed Marge that his class is now full when it wasn’t just two days prior but, that’s fine. These things happen. /BG

DH and I were both instantly upset that she treated us like little kids she needs to speak for because we’re apparently not capable of describing our own situation. I particularly took exception to Marge character labeling our daughter who she really doesn’t know. Another “where do we send our child to school” discussion between DH and I ensued. Obviously this experience didn’t help us to want to send Ashley to that school but there were other factors that also led us down the path to pursue other education thus eliminating that school altogether such as the expense that we can’t quite justify.

As I stated in the intro, we do wish to be civil and possibly carry on as acquaintances but also feel the need to inform her that it was inappropriate and an overstepping of boundaries. We worry that if we don’t she will always think of us as a pet project. I suspect that one major reason she’s handled us this way is she’s 10-15 yrs our senior, however, we are in our mid 30’s so we’re not all that young either. I mention this fact because some people have a tendency to treat those younger than themselves as inferiors.

I still need to return the books to Marge as well so, will have to face her sometime soon. Any input on how to respond to her email and deal with her henceforth is appreciated.

You’re right that emotions make one childish and that you need my non-biased insight. I hope I can salvage this situation with these nice kids. How big of you to do so when this family hasn’t given you the respect of doing things the way you secretly wanted.

Marge really likes her job as a teacher for this school. She enjoys the place she works at and would recommend it to others. That alone makes her pushy. Telling people about your job in an excited way is gaudy at best. Any normal person would hate their job and tell another parent’s that all schools are the same. Going out of her way to loan some textbooks? Obviously another trap.

Marge would offer the availability of her daughter’s friendship and transportation for your convenience. Terrible person alert.

You asked Marge to discuss your questions. She’s a teacher at this school. So you really asked her to call because it’s her job. Which she should do better.

Also congrats on trying to be not to write wordy here. I can imagine that normal warmness usually requires the length of several novels. So to sacrifice that for brevity – since both at the same time would be impossible – is commendable. Anyway, yeah she should have done her job nicer, and also include more transportation and more free books.

So yeah you ask for the teacher’s phone number. This is her coworker and giving away your coworker’s phone number makes sense because you wanted it. The weird part is that she would talk to her coworker about a work matter. A teacher talking to another teacher about a student? That definitely must breach some type of education equivalent of attorney-client privilege. Well, sure attorneys are allowed to talk privately to other attorneys. Yet with teachers, it should be totally secret.

As a teacher what does she know about kids? Let alone your kid in such a short interaction. Sure, in the same amount of time you were able to tell that Marge is arrogant, condescending, and pushy. You’re highly skilled at noticing the qualities of adults and putting them in a negative light. Meanwhile, Marge tries to convey to her fellow teacher about a kid she’s barely met the same amount of time as you. Then share information that she has. Given by you.

The weirdest part is that she would communicate with someone. Someone she works with. And then offer to talk to them if they wanted to. That’s WEIRD!

The co-worker should not have any questions about the referral. We all know each parents main job involves managing all inner workings of this school. That’s what makes this school so special.

As you say, Marge speaking steals your ability to speech. It’s like when Ursula stole Ariel’s voice in the little mermaid. Once Marge speaks, you are now a child. This is a sea witch-like power that Marge has been gifted by the ancient gods. If you were to talk to Jeff now, you now cannot speak for your own situation. Jeff as a sane person would assume that’s Marge’s job now because she mentioned a few passing details. Marge as a sane person would think you weird for elaborating. Most of all, you’d be terrible if you had a different perspective about your own child. There’s really nothing you can do. Helplessness ensues.

It matters especially now since the school is completely booked and none of this even matters. If only Marge didn’t control every aspect of your life, your child’s life, and that school. You can’t speak up because you’re now reasonably a young child in Marge’s custody.

If only there was some way for you to create words with your mouth. Alas, that option has been stolen.

You could treat yourself as an equal to others. But not while Marge thinks you’re inferior – which is definitely what she must think.

Otherwise, she would have guessed that doing what you asked meant doing what you asked specifically without having a mind of her own. She’s not allowed to choose subjects to speak about without your permission. Who’s the child now, Marge?

Send her a fake note with something like “Thanks for your help! I’ll give Jeff a call.” Then fake call Jeff fake thanking him for his fake time.

You might even return the books with a fake note like “Thank you so much for lending me your books.” Then pretend in the moment to be as pretend grateful as is pretend possible.

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