#The inspiration just flows bc the 2 of them are just constantly getting into off the wall nonsense

[aphel1on]

writing proper xue yang pov for the first time this entire year and delighted to find it is just as fun as the last time. something about him just makes the words fly from the keyboard. i missed my horrible boy

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Rose Puppetry

*saunters onto your dashboard*

sooooo who ordered the Nuts and Dolts Steampunk AU? 

@misstrashchan

(chapter 1 of 2, bc when you get over 1k words and are still on build-up, you may as well just split the fic into two chapters - well that and I really need to tend to my other fics too, but want to share this one now)

I’m gonna make y’all wait for that sweet sweet satisfying closure

(also, forgot to mention, this is roughly inspired by the Mechanism’s Once Upon a Time (In Space) album - do with that information whatever you’d like)

.

Blinding sunlight glares into everyone’s eyes as the drop ship ascends above the heavy cloud of pollution fog ever present over Mantle and cuts into the crisp, clear, blue sky.  The men among them wince and shield their eyes.  The rewired Mantle Street Soldier Units (MSSU-132s) don’t react at all.  Penny adjusts her eyes’ aperture until she can see perfectly again.

It’s been a while since any of them have seen daylight.  Mantle’s manufacturing plants create and maintain a thick smog that tends to absorb anything but rain too hard to be stopped.  Atlas Prime’s bulking shadow, too, stops most any light from reaching its sister city’s streets.

Their pilot cloaks their ship and gives Penny her cue.  She begins emitting radio interference that should make them undetectable to Atlesian scanners.  They fly toward the dominating stronghold in the sky.  No one who can breath does so very loudly, as if they’ll be heard over the increasingly loud whir and whine of Prime’s great Flight Engines.

Atlas Prime, formerly just the City of Atlas, can be considered one of the greatest marvels in the world.  An entire city in the sky, kept aloft by the largest, most powerful steam engines to ever exist.  A century ago, its founders built Atlas as a symbol of innovation, one meant to inspire future generations to look up and dream of what they could accomplish if only they applied themselves.  Though their aspirations and intent were genuine, those distinguished inventors failed to take into account the sheer amount of resources maintaining the City of Atlas would require as it grew.

In the beginning, historical documents claimed, Atlas’s needs led to an economic boom in Mantle, as money flowed freely from the flying city to pay for everything it took.  Then, something (the relinquishing of the Schnee Dust Company from its founder into his son-in-law’s hands, a handful of brave historians who no one has heard from since, claimed) changed.

Atlesians, growing content and complacent in their power, started to hoard their wealth.  They paid less, demanded more, and drove independent, Mantle-run businesses into the ground when they refused to comply with Atlesian wishes.  It wasn’t long until Mantle became little more than a collection of mass production factories kept firmly under Atlas’s thumb after that.

The hunger of Atlas, though, is known to this day to be an insatiable beast.  Mantle could provide it with building materials and fuel, but their shared location in bitter Solitas meant food beyond what arctic creatures could be hunted or the scarce few crops that would grow in their soil was an impossibility.

Thus, the Atlesian Conquest began.

The elderly, Mantle’s grandmothers and grandfathers, when they have a rare moment of rest, will sit and rasp out the story of the day Beta Atlas detached from Prime and flew off into the horizon in the direction of Vacuo.  Not to return before news of the invasion into the desert kingdom filtered back to Mantle’s streets.

Beta Atlas was only the first of the Atlesian war machines.  Since its launch, fortresses too numerous to count have been built and flown off to conquer Remnant.  Every now and then, reports of new victories or surrenders will play on the nightly news radio broadcast.

Vacuo remains stubbornly independent, despite all the General King of Atlas’s best efforts.  Although, it’s rumored Vacuo’s once fabled oasis have all been drained and little more of worth remains in the desert.  Thus, without anything of too much interest to keep it, Atlas’s attention has turned elsewhere.  

Mistral signed a treaty with Atlas as quickly as it could, and thus remains untouched by war.  No one knows how long that will last.  No one in Mantle believes it will.  The people of Mistral, Mantle’s inhabitants whisper amongst themselves, are fooling themselves if they think Atlas will let anyone remain out of its complete, dominating control for long.

However, that’s a fight for another time.  Currently speaking, Atlas’s eye is transfixed upon Vale, where its conquest has met strong resistance.  Despite having lesser technology available to them, the Huntsmen Army of Vale have fought Atlesian forces back again and again.  Stories have spread about Vale’s legendary huntsmen and huntresses and their clever tactics.  They might not be stronger or more powerful than Atlas’s robotic forces, but they’re definitely smarter.  Unpredictable.

For the first time in a very long time, there’s whispers of hope that something might be able to stop Atlas.

Penny finds and clasps her hand around the gold locket she wears around her neck, without taking the trinket out from under her shirt.  It would shimmer and shine and draw too much attention if she were to do that.  But, holding onto it grounds her, reminds her of her mission.

Penny once believed in Atlas.  She was built to carry out its will.  Sent to Vale long before the first flying war fortress, and disguised as a regular, human girl.  Her mission was to observe and spy.  She’d been programmed with curiosity, to learn as much as she could.  And she had.  Too much, in fact.

For her entire existence up to her deployment in Vale, all Penny knew was solitude.  Unlike the rest of Atlas’s automated army, she wasn’t mass-produced.  Penny is the singular product of blueprints uncovered in what was revealed to be the long lost workshop of Pietro Polendina, one of the last Great Minds of Atlas.  Whereas many only saw her blueprints as the frivolity of a man who didn’t live in a time of war, General King Ironwood himself had seen potential.  He’d ordered Penny’s creation, given her weaponry upgrades, cared for her, kept her safe as his ‘secret weapon.’  Then, the day had come where he told her it was time to fulfill her destiny.

She’d been ecstatic.  She was finally getting to go out and See The World and help bring an entire kingdom into the safety and security of Atlas’s rule, wasn’t it wonderful?

It was.  For a time.

Vale is a beautiful kingdom.  Rich and vibrant in ways Penny never could have dreamed after only knowing a greasy, barely illuminated lab as home.  She’d loved exploring.  Finding and studying in the great libraries open to all.  Wandering around outdoors where the sky isn’t a perpetual exhaust gray, where birds sing, and where little multi-colored butterflies flutter everywhere.

It was chasing after such a butterfly that Penny had stumbled into someone and the direction of her life had forever changed.  She learned what it was like to have a friend in the following days.  To not constantly feel alone.

To fall in love.

Here now, in the rebellion drop ship, Penny wishes she could open her locket.  Just so she can see Ruby’s face again.  Sure, if everything goes well on their mission, she will see Ruby again by day’s end.

But nothing is ever certain, especially in war.

“Get ready,” the pilot tells the rescue team.  “We’re arriving at the drop point.”

Penny braces herself.  Regardless of their success probability (currently hovering at a frustrating low 67%), she will do everything she can to save Ruby.

Because she loves her dearly.

And because it’s Penny’s fault she was captured in the first place.

[sapphireglyphs]

i was not tagged but saw it on @agustdfeatrm​ blog and reading her answers inspired me to wanna play too! 

When did you first get into bts? late september of 2019

why or/and how did you get into bts: i actually wrote about my experience with bts for my first festa this year. i technically listened to my first bts song randomly when i was at work and my k-pop shuffle playlist on youtube recommended “boy with luv” but the first time i was introduced to group itself was through my best friend @omiyukio​. i had developed a hyperfixation with exo earlier that year and was swapping song suggestions, member profile info, and youtube compilation vids -- she would listen to exo music and in turn i would listen to bts songs. now, almost a year later, we both became hardcore exotannies. 🤩

first bts song: “Boy With Luv” feat. Halsey

favorite bts song?: i don’t think it’s possible to have just one favorite bts song bc their discography is so diverse, extensive, and well produced. i’ll list my top 25:

1: Ddaeng (땡)   2: So Far Away 3: Trivia 轉: Seesaw  4: Baepsae (뱁새) 5: Still With You 6: Home 7: Serendipity 8: Spring Day 9:  Euphoria 10: Pied Piper 11: Singularity 12: Whalien 52 13: Epiphany   14: My Time 15: Magic Shop 16: Tonight 17: Fake Love 18: Tomorrow 19: ON 20: Blue & Grey 21: Sweet Night 22: Filter 23: Lie 24: We On 25: Intro: Persona

first official comeback: black swan

favorite bts era: mots:7

bias(s): namjoonie

bias wrecker(s): yoongles + gukkie

first concert: online: bang bang con, offline i had front row tickets + sound check to see them at the rose bowl this year for my birthday but a stupid world wide pandemic cancelled that... i’m not bitter...😒  not yet 

do you own any merch: i got the mots edition of the army bomb for my birthday from my bff @omiyukio  ♡ I own an RJ plush keychain, a mini sitting Kookie plush, and a mini ARMY bomb keychain. i also have the membership kit which i had ordered back in january but i just received last month.😅  

what member would you say you are most like? my bff says that i remind her of hobi... but i wish i had the work ethic he has (or any of the guys have). i do see similarities though. both hobi and i have a rather positive outlook on life. we thrive on making other people happy (but not really in the way that jin does; i feel like their approach to making others happy is different) and we don’t like to stress and would much rather go with the flow. we’re both very sensitive people who are passionate about the things that bring us joy. i also feel like despite the fact that we can potentially be amazing superstars in our own capacity, we both are happiest when we are supporting and working with others so that we may share in the success as a team. also, we both make weird noises and often times talk to ourselves. the people around us have done their best to acclimate to our idiosyncrasies.😂😂😂 

favourite bts lyrics:

from so far away:

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life dream, will be generous to you wherever you stand  dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships dream, the beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

from fake love:

I wish love was perfect as love itself ... I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed in a dream that can’t come true

from spring day: (honestly, i would have put the entire song 😥)

I wish to end this winter How much longings must fall like snow  before that spring day arrives Friend ... Like a tiny dust wandering in void Like a tiny dust  If I were a fluttering snowflake, I would be able to reach you a little faster ... The flowers of snow fall And little by little, they drift apart  I miss you, I miss you How much longer should I wait and how many sleepless nights should I spend before I get to see you before I get to meet you

from house of cards:

A house made of cards, and us, inside Though we see the end, though we know that it’ll soon collapse A house made of cards- we, like fools, Even if this dream is in vain, stay like this a little longer

from outro:tear

We used to talk about forever,  but now we mercilessly destroy each other I thought we dreamed the same dream, but now the dream truly became just a dream My heart breaks Please rather burn it so that the pain and my lingering love don’t remain at all anymore

favourite music video: fake love, ON - kinetic manifesto: come prima, mic drop, bs&t, interlude:shadow

1 thing you love about bts: because... they’re the whole package. they’re seven ordinary (albeit very hard working and talented) guys pursuing their dream of creating music that is authentically them with the hopes that their art would bring comfort to those who take the time to listen. Despite the seemingly insurmountable odds that were stacked against them from the beginning, they rose to the challenge with poise, humbleness, and immaculate work ethic. Their brotherhood, their message of standing up for the youth, the disenfranchised whose voices are so often silenced, their courage to be unabashedly themselves constantly challenging what the industry or the world expects of them, their ever enduring love and appreciation for their fans, their powerful and moving music that is raw, poignant, and lyrically moving... all of these reasons are why i love bts.

and to finish off wholesomely, do you have a favourite bts group photo, if so share it here (if not, what is your fav concept photoshoot and share picture): 

i tag @omiyukio​​ and anyone else that is interested! tag me too so that i can read your answers! 💜

[askhamotzi]

Hi Sammy! Sorry if this has been asked before, but I'm trying to work on my first digital comic and I was wondering if you have any tips to share? Your work is so beautiful and the composition is amazing and so inspiring! I usually work in CSP when I draw, and I've done some paper drafts, I'm just starting the digital process now :) thank you so much! And I hope that mine will come out to be even remotely as incredible as yours!

hi there, omg thank you so much!!

for me, the process i’ve usually been doing for digital comics goes like this:

1. planning/research - this can go on throughout the entire process of making the comic, but it’s a good idea to get a big chunk of it done before you start so you have ideas and know what you’re doing! grab ref photos if you need, look stuff up on the internet, do whatever

2. write script and create characters (usually i write scripts in microsoft word, but for “dream” i worked off of an account i wrote up on the notes app of my phone after i woke up from the dream, and improvised the script page by page) - i frequently make up characters before i even have a story, but if i do have a story in mind i tend to do the characters at the same time as the script

3. sketch comic, insert placeholder text - i do all of my comics in FireAlpaca! i use the box/shape tool to lay out where i think i want panels to go and what size they should be. i usually work at the same size i would be printing at, but you could work bigger! i usually combine the sketch stage with the thumbnail stage because it’s easier for me to layout panels on the actual page so i can see how they fit instead of tiny thumbnails. here i sketch out placement of objects and poses, and make sure perspective makes some kind of sense, and any other important things i don’t want to forget in the lining stage (or coloring, like lines where i want certain shading to go). i also include placeholder text that may or may not be final, but i highly recommend laying out words as early as possible bc they can take up a lot of space you need to account for 

4.  draw comic - i go right into ink/lines! i don’t do a pencil stage (the pencil stage is the same as my sketch stage). to start i always draw the panels by hand (i don’t use a tool because i like an organic line, but to make sure they’re somewhat straight i use the boxes from before as a guide). i also do the word balloons by hand, and then i do figures/backgrounds. sometimes i leave out details that i will include in the coloring stage, like certain textures (texture of trees or grass, for example)

5. color - i start with flat color and then shade! usually i hand pick the colors i want to shade with instead of using a multiply layer or something like that, but for really complicated things i do tend to use different kinds of special layers. 

6. (this is throughout the process) but sometimes i will take the FireAlpaca file and put it into photoshop to use their guide tools to adjust things, or use a textured brush for something, or to insert text. for “dream” i went back and forth regularly with FireAlpaca and photoshop 

TIPS

- for composition, i like to consider mood and keeping the eye interested. lately, i don’t tend to break the mold of the grid without a reason (this is just me, you can do whatever you want!! tons of people don’t adhere to the grid and do other really cool stuff. i’m still learning!). the reason for breaking it could really be that i just need more room for words or to show something and i’ll extend the panel into the margins or bleed area. or maybe the shape of a panel needs to be changed bc it’s a dream or a flashback, or maybe you need to go into the bleed area bc something dramatic is happening! you can also mess with the colors of your panels, and the colors of the margin space. consider too, if you like the look of the page overall as an individual piece! 

- if you plan on printing your comics, make sure you print out your sketched pages/layouts at actual size so you can make sure the panel sizes and font sizes are legible when a person is going to read it! this can take a lot of attempts, but once you find what you like hopefully you won’t have to do it a million times again

- for longer comics, i recommend creating a palette of colors that include all the ones you use most frequently so you don’t have to constantly eyedrop them from other pages

- don’t get too hung up on any 1 panel, remember that the average person spends something like 6 seconds (probably less) looking at one panel before moving on 

- i work at a very high dpi, like 400, which has always been fine (so far), i always recommend working higher bc i think it’s safer, even tho it does make bigger files

- remember to save your work, and save it in MULTIPLE places!! back it up!

- this is just a taste thing but i love comics with custom type/handwritten type styles! you could try out doing a handwritten font or something! i used Calligraphr for mine, and i’ll prob use it again to make more

- i think it’s important to try and best recreate how your audience will experience reading your comic! since it’s impossible as the author/artist to see your own work for the first time as a finished piece, make sure that before you call it done, you give it a couple days without looking at it, and then come back to read it with fresh eyes. see if you think you’re getting the effect you want and if you like the flow! sometimes this can be hard to see/feel though, so you’ll have to just trust your gut sometimes haha!

that’s all i can think of for now but you can always ask me if you have more specific questions!! good luck with your comics!!

[jaggedwolf]

For the meme! The tscosi hogwarts au ficlet. I think the entirety is around 500 words.

You are probably correct, haha. The ficlet is here

“Looks like your admirer’s here for the show again,” said Brian. The only indication of a direction was a quick dart of his eyes in the direction of the broom shed at the opposite side of the field. Then he went back to his Ancient Runes reading like he hadn’t said anything at all. He was only a fourth-year and he studied like it was him who had O.W.L.S to take this year. Well, only if it was Ancient Runes.

In which I forgive myself for the recurring awkward sentence structures/flows that happen with ficlets, because the whole point is that I write them with little thought and for fun. Also, will find a way to translate Brian being a linguist into any universe. 

Sana rolled her eyes. She ran her wand over her broom, finishing up the last layer of the new enchantment. “Not an admirer. Honestly, she’s probably been showing up to see Krejjh make another attempt at the Wronksi Feint.“

See: adapting Sana tinkering with her flying device. And my fervent desire to see Sana and Krejjh be adrenaline junkies together, because it’d be so good.

“I’m telling you Captain Tripathi, this time’s the charm.” Krejjh grinned, already floating in the air on their own broom. “And then we’re gonna crush you Hufflepuffs this year.”

Sana raised her eyebrows. “As long as our Seeker doesn’t literally get crushed. Though, honestly, he should know better by now than to follow you into a dive like that.”

Krejjh and Sana would be friendly opponent captains and you can’t convince me otherwise - they are good sports! I think Krejjh in this AU only addresses Sana as “Captain” when it’s fun trash talking time.

The Gryffindor team had Krejjh, sure, but no other stand-out players. And as great a Seeker they were, Sana had a feeling that Krejjh mostly thought the responsibilities that came with the Captain title were 1. Be really good at Quidditch 2. Schedule practices. So, Sana wasn’t too worried about Gryffindor this year. She swung a leg over her own broom, ready to take off. 

I imagine having Krejjh as your sportsball team captain is very fun and inspiring and exhilarating! But not particularly consistent! (In Krejjh’s defense - I also picture this being their first year as captain. Sana, while also a fifth-year, has already had a year under her belt, because she’s just Like That and the ‘puffs recognize a good thing when they see it.) 

Sana is very ready to win this year :)

“Also, she hasn’t been watching Krejjh at any of these practices. Mostly you.” Brian said out of nowhere.Krejjh’s grin grew wider. “Jeeter. Were you concerned I had an admirer?”“Wha-no,” Brian sputtered. “Sometimes I finish the work I bring with me before you guys are done, so I started trying to figure out why a third-year would skip Hogsmeade weekends to watch you two.”

Are these two already dating in this ficlet??? They don’t know either, pal. I just like the idea of Brian doing his homework in the stands while Sana and Krejjh practice (in addition to their regular house practices, mind you). Brian’s also bad at letting inconsistencies lie. 

“That is a good point about the weekends.” asked Sana, glancing over at the broom shed. It stood far enough away that sound didn’t carry, but close enough that Sana could spy the corner of a red-edged robe peeking out from behind one of its walls. “Krejjh. She is in your house. Any ideas?”

As may be very obvious, I went with everyone’s primary houses from my sorting post. 

“Sorry, fellas, I’ve only really passed by her at meals and the common room.” Krejjh shrugged, now slowly looping around Brian and Sana on their broom.

Krejjh in any universe: mmm jock brain flying good (stole this phrasing from @shrimpeggroll​). They’re not really paying attention to random tiny third-years. (Sana, however, you may note, already knows Arkady’s name.)

“Maybe she wants to talk to a prefect? I haven’t heard great things about the Gryffindor ones this year,” Brian ventured.

Sana frowned at him, and then sighed knowingly. “Violet?”“Yeah,” he said uneasily. “I think she’s okay now, though? Even if the prefects weren’t much use.”She hadn’t seen Brian’s new third-year shadow recently, so that was good news. An implied subplot of lonely Muggle-born Violet possibly getting hassled by some Gryffs while the Gryff prefects didn’t do much. It’s resolved, so she isn’t constantly trailing Brian anymore. Also, c’mon, isn’t the image of fourth-year Brian taking third-year Violet under his wing the cutest - bet those nerds spend a lot of time the library. 

“It’s going to get dark soon.” Krejjh had transitioned from horizontal loops to vertical ones, their expression looking like that of the world’s most impatient child.

“Sorry, let’s get going.” Sana shot up into the air without a beat. The wind rushing past her face, the feel of the new charms she added, the familiar quick gain in altitude were all the only things on her mind. Nothing about the team or O.W.L.S. She’d missed this. She leveled out at the top of the hooped goal posts, waiting for Krejjh to catch up so they could do their usual race. Sana took in the view. Brian was watching Krejjh’s ascent into the sky with rapt attention, as always. More and more of the red-edged robes behind the broom shed creeped out till Arkady herself was leaning on the front of the shed. Couldn’t make out much of an expression from this angle and altitude.

These two just like flying :D 

Sana was midway through going over her knowledge on the Patel family when her broom jerked. And then jerked again, and again. Sana gripped tightly with one hand as she went anything that could have gone wrong with how the new enchantment interacted with the broom’s magic, simultaneously reaching for the wand within her sleeve. Always good to have a quick way to undo things.The wand slid into her hand and then just as quickly out of it, latching itself to the broom of it’s own accord. What? The broom stopped a jerking for a brief moment and Sana tried to scrape the wand off of it as well as guide the broom down. Neither attempt seemed to do anything.The broom dove.

I fully confess action/description is the weakest aspect of my writing, haha. And yeah, Sana’s aware of the risks of her messing with the magic a broom already has, but she’s gonna do that anyway.

She held calm even as the bright green of the field rapidly came closer, going over everything she knew about the field’s cushioning charms and crash landings.Then the broom stopped so suddenly she lost her grip, flying head over heels off of it. She was still really high off the ground. Not good. Wind rushed past her as she fell, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Krejjh changing course to fly towards her, but Sana had a feeling even Krejjh couldn’t close this gap.

Sana: realistic and not prone to panic even as she’s about to crash into the ground. 

“Arresto Momentum!” yelled a voice she didn’t recognize, and suddenly instead of plummeting she was floating downwards instead. Sana swallowed a gulp.

Way to save the day, kid. (Who again, you might note, Sana has never heard, thought she knows of her family.)

Arkady wasn’t by the broom shed anymore, instead she was right on the field, arm outstretched and wand pointed right at Sana. Arkady was breathing heavily, and also…scowling? At Krejjh? Who had finally reached Sana and flew next to her as she slowly came to a stop on the ground.Sana turned to Arkady. “Oka-”“I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be all ‘honorable’ and ‘chivalrous’, what’s so honorable about hexing someone’s broom to hurt them?” interrupted Arkady, shifting her wand from Sana to Krejjh, her oversized robes swinging a little as she did.

Arkady hates a hypocrite, even more so as a kid. (Has perhaps witnessed some of the Gryffs-behaving-badly nonsense that Violet dealt with? Will latch on to suspicion at the clearest potential suspect?) Also has hand-me-down robes bc the idea of the Patels as a scrappier version of the Weasleys in this AU makes me cackle with glee. 

“What? Sana tries out new enchantments all the time, and sometimes they go a bit wonky. I don’t even know how you hex a broom,” said Krejjh, looking confused.“Krejjh wouldn’t hex my broom,” Sana leveled a look at Arkady, wondering what on earth she had to do with anything, and also what level of house baggage they were dealing with. “But something did grab my wand away from me, which is making me thinking that a side-effect of my enchantment isn’t the right answer here.”Brian ran up to them, panting. “Is…everyone…okay?”

Sana’s firm but honest about her assessment of the situation. Poor Brian, he just had a gazillion different heart attacks at witnessing all of that happen in the sky, realizing too late to do anything himself.

Arkady paid no notice to him, still pointing her wand at Krejjh. “I’m not saying you did it. That’d be stupid. Having the Captain do it, even if you have regular access to her broom since you hang out. I’m saying you got your teammates to.”A rare flash of anger crossed Krejjh’s face. “I wouldn’t-”“I heard them talking about sabotaging the Hufflepuff captain, I followed them, and I saw them break into the broom shed.” Arkady’s scowl deepened.

What a tiny distrustful spy! Weirdly effective! (Krejjh does not appreciate the suggestion that they would hurt Sana. Also, they play fair, how else can glorious victory be an accurate assessment of one’s skill and talent?) 

“Dude,” said Brian, “that’s not really proof Krejjh told them to do anything.”Arkady deflated a little. “You saw all that, and decided stalking Sana and Krejjh’s practices was the best plan?” continued Brian.Arkady dropped her wand arm, muttering something indecipherable.

Brian’s here to point out Arkady’s ridiculousness. Arkady talked over her plan with absolutely no one. Just went full speed “Make sure unsuspecting Hufflepuff captain doesn’t get hurt”.

“What?” asked Sana.“I didn’t have any proof,” grumbled Arkady, crossing her arms. “I didn’t know how to figure out what they did or undo it, and I figured it’d make sense for them to activate the charm in one of these sessions instead of the Hufflepuff team practice because there’d be higher chance of you getting injured with only one other flier.”Brian’s jaw dropped. “Okay, I know she saved your life, but I’m a little scared of this third-year now.”

I don’t know that I’m a fan of this Brian line anymore - I just wanted to communicate how truly thrown by this level of quidditch conspiracy and paranoia he was.

Arkady glared at him. Sana shook her head, and smiled at Arkady. “So, this is a mess. For the record, Arkady, you could have told me.”Arkady squinted. “Why would you have believed me?” “Why wouldn’t I have?”Arkady kept squinting at her, saying nothing.

Sana is pretty impressed. Arkady has no words for Sana-patented honesty and openness XD.

“Pals, I don’t know about you, but I am starving!” said Krejjh. “What do you say we grab some food from the kitchens, and then our new friend and I can discuss who exactly I need to have a little Captain-y chat with?”“Sounds good to me,” said Sana.“I’m in,” said Brian.They turned to Arkady, whose arms were still crossed and expression was still suspicious. “I am kind of hungry.”

Yay friendship and conspiracy-cracking and food! And uh, Hufflepuff Prefect and Captain Sana Tripathi may have gained a new tiny shadow. It’s fun to think about an AU where Arkady being the last to join the gang.

Also fun to think about - Krejjh looking at Brian-Violet and Sana-Arkady, and going: when do I get a underclassmen trailing me when is it my turn. (Somewhere, in the Slytherin dungeon, second-year RJ sneezes.)

Finally, I like the idea of Sana’s prefect partner being Park. What a pair, y’know? Golden girl Sana alongside Park who is…Very Tired. 

[wannawrite]

sweet crazy love [ pt.2 ]

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸🌺 type: bullet point - bc fic would be too long TW: blood, biting, fights, mention of PTSD, depression and psychiatry, supernatural experimentation - poison

blog navigator.

part two / two

part one

• vamp! AU • experiments don’t always work out…. and when they don’t, they go to the psychiatrist

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!! Wishing you and your families a healthy, prosperous and fruitful year ahead. Also, HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE’S DAY!!! hope all of you spent it well with your loved ones :”)

- Admin L 

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything written here is purely fictional.

• ‘You look awful.’ The words spilt out of Minhyun’s mouth before he could stop them. The Tiffin he brought over began to unpack itself, settling into a nice arrangement in front or Seongwoo • ‘New power gained?’ He gestured to Minhyun aiming his fingers at each plate. • ‘yup. Discovered it while messing with Jaehwan’s shampoo yesterday.’ • for more vampire adventures with Minhyun and Jaehwan click here • Seongwoo felt slightly left out. He couldn’t drink real blood, depended mostly on human food and couldn’t build his powers up • ‘Did you go last night?’ Minhyun asked, handing Seongwoo a pair of chopsticks • shrugging and shoving rice into his mouth, Seongwoo directed Minhyun’s gaze to his veins that were coursing with blue coloured blood • ‘Asshole,’ Minhyun cursed. ‘I knew you shouldn’t have. He’s only testing more dangerous substances on you now.’ • Seongwoo’s recycling bin was overflowing with cartons of plasma juice • Minhyun nearly bumped into it and knocked it all over • ‘You need a new shipment.’ • ‘That I do,’ Seongwoo agreed whole-heartedly. He munched on his lunch while Minhyun dialled the supplier, The Middleman. • ‘I need a favour.’ • Seongwoo broke the silence, looking hopefully at his friend. • ‘Depends....’ • Minhyun looked slightly flustered and panicked, his mind working hard to figure out what Seongwoo could possibly need help with. • It seemed that his friend had a split second of deep thinking and consideration. Minhyun already knew he would agree with Seongwoo’s idea • ‘we need to expose Doc.’ • #Docisoverparty • ‘Dad?’ you called out into the darkness, pushing open your front door. ‘Dad I’m home. Mum?’ • ah, what the hell, Mum won’t be back so early from work. • Dad said he would be in though...but the house is drenched in darkness, not even the night lights are on • you had been meaning to come home for the weekend to tell your parents about your exciting internship, even though your father mentioned that he had the night off, no one seemed to be around • leaving the living room lights turned on, you ventured up the stairs to where your Dad’s study lay • usually, it would be padlocked - for no apparent reason - yet today, the door was ajar, light streaming out from the gap • you supposed your father was inside, probably hidden away in his material to notice your arrival • just as you were about to knock the door, your dad appeared. His eyes widened, startled by you. • ‘oh! hi dear.’ The sound of the heavy wooden door slammed echoed off the walls. ‘Didn’t see you coming in. I was just finishing up for the night.’ • your eyes rolled far back. ‘That’s what you constantly say and Mum will find you still working when she gets back at 11pm.’ • ‘see, this is why you’re such a huge inspiration to me Dad, you always work hard.’ • a look of guilt crossed your dad’s face before it diffused and was replaced by a contented smile • ‘enough about me, I’m anticipating hearing all about your internship over dinner! Follow me.’ • you walked down the staircase after your dad. Somehow, your heart seemed heavy and your feet seemed to want to lead you to whatever lay behind those birchwood doors • never once had any family member stepped foot into your father’s study • of course, when you and your cousins were children, he kept it locked, going on and on about how there were many dangerous types of equipment inside • it was for your safety • yet here you were, on the brink of graduating and becoming a doctor yourself, still kept in the dark of what Dad really did in there • strange • there was a stab in your chest, willing you to find out what kind of medicine he kept in his study • wow don’t we just love thickening plots I can’t believe I’m writing a BULLET POINT on this....it would be a two-part scenario if I was on holiday :”) • ‘When I said get help, I didn’t mean call every single one of our brothers....’ Seongwoo muttered to Minhyun in a hushed tone, looking out at his crowded living room, his blood brothers filling the place • ‘Oh come on.’ Minhyun smiled charmingly. ‘It was due time for a family gathering anyway. I still have yet to call the rest of them..... Besides, we’re going to need all the help we can get.’ • Seongwoo shot his best friend an unamused look, biting down hard on his lower lip. • ‘You really think exposing Doctor’s work to his family is going to be an easy feat? We may have natural-born abilities but they have technology on their side.’ • he let out a won-over sigh, nodding in agreement. ‘Well, everyone’s here already, what are we waiting for?’ • Minhyun’s lips stretched into a cheery smile. ‘Nightfall, my dear brother.’ • *NIGHT FALLS* • Dad: I’ll be at the office late tonight. Eat dinner without me. I’ll make sure your mother gets home sooner to accompany you • at that moment, you wanted nothing more than to throw your phone against the wall. • you were back for the weekend and although your parents claimed to miss you, they weren’t the best at showing it • yes, work was hard but couldn’t they spend more time with their child? • haven’t been to Dad’s work in a while,,,I should surprise him with dinner • perfect! • so you got pizza, called and Uber and rolled down to your dad’s office • an institute called Jowa Medical and Science Research Facility • I’m so uncreative rip • ‘Hi, I’m Dr ____’s family member. May I know which office he’s in right now?’ You asked the front desk cheerily • the man sitting behind wore a mask, but he was clearly grinning behind it. ‘Just a moment please.’ • hmm probably a newbie or intern • his name tag read Lee Daehwi • ‘ahh, he would be working right now in the Biomedical Research block. I’ll get someone to lead you to his office.’ • then, he proceeded to make a phone call, all too happily if you were serious • next, a man came to escort you. He too looked young and bright. • Name tag: Lai Guanlin • ‘hmm that’s as far as I can take you, follow my Professor, he’s better at negotiating with your dad.’ • again, something seemed...off with the teeth of these people • ‘you’ll need this.’ A man whose security pass read Park Jihoon handed you a white coat. ‘There are a lot of hazardous chemicals in the research facilities.’ • bye bye pizza you left in the hands of Lai Guanlin • who would devour the entire box by himself in a few seconds • everything seemed a little out of place today • uh...isn’t security a bit lax? • who are all these new young doctors? • whatever • can’t get killed anyway can I? • walking down a dim and silent corridor with an unfamiliar professor was something you didn’t plan on doing • ‘oh,’ he said, approaching what seemed to be a laboratory. ‘Looks like Dr _____ is in the middle of an important procedure.’ • he pointed to the flashing red light outside the door • ‘you’re welcome to wait in the observation room though.’ • huh? • wordlessly and with your heart HAMMERING against your chest, you followed him into a room next to the lab. It seemed to be separated by only a black screen. You figured it was meant for students to watch without distracting the professionals • WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE • at the same time, it was thrilling to see your Dad working • however, his laboratory seemed a tad bit peculiar as well • there were jars and jars stamped with ‘TOXIC’ labels, everything seemed to be kept in pristine condition and carefully placed • many items seemed unfitting for a science lab. Explain the weird dentist reclining chair and were those torture devices ??? • what the hell? • Jihoon could hear all your thoughts and he was sending messages to all of his friends • vampires in clean white coats boasting stethoscopes were not a sight to be seen everyday • THERE WAS SOMEONE SITTING IN THE RECLINING CHAIR • ‘hey, isn’t that a person?’ you whispered to Jihoon. ‘Professor, is he okay? What is my dad going to do?’ • Professor Park kept silent and gestured for you to keep watching the procedure • every single cell in your body was telling you to leave • get out • but your eyes were trained on your father, hunched over a counter, drawing a strange orange liquid from a bottle reading ‘POSION’ • the syringe was the perfect size for a flu injection • but POISON? • ‘Professor Park! He’s going to poison that man! He’s going to kill him!’ You screeched, unable to believe whatever you were seeing. Your heart reeled, head spun. It felt as if someone had cracked your heart opened, maybe your brain • jihoon didn’t dare to say a word. • ‘STOP! DAD, STOP!’ • hmm, soundproofing was good down here • suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you caught a digitalised screen with information written on it • it looked like a data document of some sort • Name of experiment: OSW • Supernatural type: Higher Vampire • what? • what the hell? • was this some kind of sick joke your Dad arranged? • what hidden camera show were you on? Candid Camera? • Drug Dose: 37ml of Ricin • ‘DAD, STOP! YOU’LL KILL HIM! HE’LL DIE!’ • by now, tears were flowing and gushing down your face. Your brain throbbed like blood flow had been paused, your chest ached. Ragged breaths began to replace your normal intake of oxygen • ‘HE’S GOING TO DIE!’ • the last thing you remember was the needle being stabbed into the man’s arm and the screen flashing red to read • Victim: ONG SEONGWOO, 122, HV • night night • Results: OSW has survived, heartbeat detected • when you woke up, you were still in your dad’s office, just in the medical side now • in an A class ward to be specific • but you were convinced it wasn’t any of your family members who put you here • Seongwoo was comfortably seated in one of the armchairs, flipping through the newspapers • he had a small bandage over his upper arm; proving that he had in fact gotten Ricin injected into his blood stream • and he survived from it...which next confirms the fact that he was a higher vampire • ‘Wakey wakey,’ Seongwoo chimes like an angel. • he’s far from it • ‘how are you alive? I saw my dad inject Ricin into your blood stream. Am I hallucinating?’ • A chuckle leaves his lips as the door opens and someone else slips into the room • ‘Hyung, Doc’s gone now. We’ve made sure of that,’ the voice announced. • ‘Thanks, Jinyoung.’ • you glared at Seongwoo as Jinyoung slipped out of the room. ‘What do you mean by gone?’ • ‘I mean, back home, safe and sound. He assumes you’re back in your dorm by now.’ • this didn’t seem like a man who just recovered from fatal poisoning • ‘You want to know what you father cooks up in his lab? Follow me.’ • it looked like you didn’t have a choice not to • never did you imagine the first time coming into contact with your dad’s work would be with a vampire and behind foreign doors • and breaking into a medical institutions well-guarded and somewhat hidden experiment laboratory • the lab smelled of burnt Sulfur, maybe hints of silver and wolfsbane. Jars stacked on tall shelves were filled with murky liquids and gooey objects sticking out of them • you shivered at the mere thought of it all • ‘your dad,’ Seongwoo began cautiously. ‘Likes to hunt and experiment on the supernatural.’ • I must be absolutely bonkers by now. • ‘I’m just one of the few living specimens he got his hands on.’ Seongwoo caresses a manila envelope tucked under a black binder • ‘There’s a whole list. Most of the higher vampires are my family.’ • my dad? supernatural? destroying someone else’s life? • doesn’t sound like it • ‘That’s impossible,’ you scoff in disbelief. ‘Supernatural don’t exist. You’re mocking me, Seongwoo.’ • you regret turning around to face him because he changed from a college kid Seongwoo to a bloodsucker within a matter of seconds • his fangs elongated, his eyes a crimson vermillion • ‘ugh, I need another plasma juice box.’ • you fought giggles. It was hard to keep a serious composure after seeing your batch mate glow in his true form and then sipping from a tiny carton of juice that resembled the ones your baby cousins drank from • ‘anyway, my point is that your dad has been testing on me and the side effects are so severe that I have to see Dr Im and down plasma juice by the shipments.’ • ‘uh, real blood would mess up his test results and he would beat me up with one of his torture devices,’ Seongwoo answered your unspoken question • ‘I just can’t believe any of it...’ • who could • my ass would have zayned right away good bye zai jian • ‘give me a week....’ • black water melded to fill your pools of vision • *a week and many messy thoughts later* • shrieking was the first thing Seongwoo’s ultra-sensitive hearing picked up when he entered Dr Im’s clinic for the third session • the voice was distinctly yours so he decided it would be good to tune in • ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW AND NEVER TOLD ME! DR IM!’ • ‘I HAVE TO HELP HIM! I’VE KNOWN HIM SINCE HIGH SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH HE HATED ME BECAUSE HE KNEW I WAS PART OF MY DAD’S FAMILY! IT STILL HURTS.’ • ‘I can’t let him just waste away like this.....’ • ‘I just can’t....I’ll never forgive myself if I do.’ • by the way, the screaming and throwing of tissue boxes was enough for Seongwoo’s ears to hurt but he was happy he caught your exclamations • you care about him :D • how cute • WAIT NO I CAN’T BE CATCHING FEELINGS • eveN IF THEY FAINTED IN MY ARMS I CAN’T • Minhyun shoots him a smug smirk • ‘oh shut up.’ • ‘never said anything.’ • ‘IT’S CALLED AN INVASION OF PRIVACY!’ • ‘Dr Im is ready to see yo- SEONGWOO NO YOU CAN’T STRANGLE MINHYUN HERE.’ • *break bc i won’t really touch on the sessions* • from then on, Seongwoo tried as much to avoid your father and you tried to occupy your dad’s time • making excuses for family outings • hiding and throwing away his syringes • calling his work to turf him out of there early so that Seongwoo wouldn’t have to face anymore poison • it was a hard feat to convince him to stay away • because for every session he attended, he was sparing a life of his family member • your dad threatened to harm an Ong if Seongwoo didn’t comply by the rules • there was always a different excuse you had to cook up to get your dad home and out of his study • once, you even went to the extreme of changing the padlock on the door by stealing the key from your dad’s briefcase • you made about a 100 carbon copies before changing the lock back before he noticed • you just NEEDED Seongwoo to be safe and sound • the odd case he did go for an appointment, you would have to attend to a half-dead looking Seongwoo at 2am on the middle of your dining table • ‘sorry for the lack of operation table, I’m a psychology student.’ • sometimes, you had to rip away parts of his shirt to access whatever wound or vein affected • you lost count of the number of times colour suffused into your face • or the number of times you threatened to stab Seongwoo with a scalpel whenever he teased or complimented your blush in his drugged state • you wished you could dose him with anaesthetic so that he would shut up • Seongwoo was too playful for his own good • he just liked to tease and joke a lot, especially under the influence of whatever your dad was dosing him with • ‘you’re so cuteeeee when you blush. I love it.’ • and he would pout sulkily when you don’t respond • ‘are you ignoring meeee? Don’t you have feelings for meeeeeee?’ • annoying vamp • you would tell him to keep quiet unless he wanted a dead vein • catering to his supernatural needs was another thing • hiding a stack of plasma fruit juice under your bed was a different affair altogether • you also had to receive shady shipments in the middle of the morning so that none of your flatmates would get suspicious • they were like family to you but you would get suspicious if something with the label of ‘100% REAL PLASMA JUICE’ appeared at your doorstep • there was also an unholy amount of poison reversals stashed in your locked drawer • hmm your friends in the medical sector were beginning to get suspicious • all you needed to do was call a vampire over, hypnotise them, get your goods and hack into the security system to remove any footage • damn aren’t you glad you have royal and senior vampires like Yoon Jisung on your side to help with that? • ‘shut up Guanlin all you did was carry the bags of medicine and eat my pizza.’ • you often complained about Seongwoo’s younger brothers but they were an added joy in your life • ‘JINYOUNG I SAID PUT THAT SYRINGE DOWN NOW.’ • what a pain • sometimes Seongwoo would murmur incoherently in his dozy state and all you could catch were things along the lines of ‘pretty’, ‘I want to go to The Middleman’, ‘I want to kiss someone’ • uh yeah which made you a tad bit pissed off and receptive • ‘seongwoo, you better shut up before I stab you with this anaesthetic.’ • what are your feelings? • it’s like you hate him but you can’t seem to stop loving him? • it gets really intimate since you see him every single day and most of the time it is when he’s at his most vulnerable ??? • sessions with Dr Im • late night therapy while you’re fixing him up • texting him that you got your dad fixated on something else for that time • texting him to ask if he’s been taking the prescribed pills • you just...suddenly found yourself gaining a close friend and maybe some new feelings • why not? • seongwoo was dangerous, sometimes annoyingly loud and cocky with a devilish glare yet he was funny, playful, open with you and genuine • every night you got your dad’s tools away from him, there was a cup of your regular order from the cafe you first met waiting for you at Dr Im’s office • she wouldn’t say who brought it >:( oh ho ho but you knew all too well • he was TOO KIND for his own good • even if he was a jerk sometimes haha • you just started to like him...more than a friend • so when he started saying stuff like that, you just felt like crying and stabbing him with a needless syringe • like why? aren’t I the one who is always holding you close and protecting you? Isn’t it my apartment you run to? Why? • it’s just super pressing and irritating, heart-wrenching even • who was the one printing out his lecture notes and delivering them to his dorm? who was it tracking his mental health progress? • one night, Seongwoo texted you to open the door,,,even when you knew there wasn’t anything scheduled • he just stumbled into your arms the moment you peeled open the door. • hmm no traces of alcohol • ‘babeee,’ Seongwoo drawled out, completely oblivious to the words that came out of his mouth. ‘Guess what?’ • ‘I don’t want to. I’m calling Minhyun, just hang in there.’ • I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS • ‘I got my first taste of real blood. It was from a blood bag of course and it was from an animal, I think I’m allergic to human blood.’ He suddenly frowns. ‘Besides, I won’t want to upset youuu.’ • oh god is he tipsy because all he’s been living on are these fruit juices • ‘why not?’ you challenge, your fingers stop punching in Minhyun’s contact • Seongwoo wraps his arms around your shoulders with a giddy smile on his face. ‘I looove you! I do! Ever since graduation when you found out my secret but never told anyone.’ • your cheeks redden and you send Seongwoo straight to your bed, tucking him in tightly so he can’t escape • he’s worse on blood than on poison...what is this logic? • ‘nooo!’ he whines, grabbing your wrist. ‘Don’t leave me. You’ve never have and you won’t now....will you?’ • oh man look at this baby even his fangs are beginning to show someone help him • you’re helpless against his iron-grip so you settle with him, cuddling until he shuts his eyes • phew, I can leave to call Minhyun now • ‘I also like you...’ • huh ??? • there’s a yearning in your heart, you want to know why • so you grab his hand and stick by his side • like you always have • ‘You’ve always been there for me. No matter what. Even though I’m technically not supposed to exist at all.....’ • your heart melts into a puddle, you can’t handle all your pent-up emotions • ‘I told Minhyun I would marry you when we’re ready....’ • SLEEP TALK IS THE BEST TALK • are you crying or are you crying? • ‘w-when w-we were young....we swore that we would marry the person who was there for us even in the most difficult of situations.....’ • SOB SOB SOB • IDK WHY MY EYES ARE SWEATING RN • SEONGWOO STOP • ‘you helped me so much.....’ • he gets sleepier and sleepier, dozing off into oblivion • a small smile stretches across his face when you kiss his forehead and run a hand through his hair • WHO WOULDN’T • ‘you are here for me even when the night falls.’ • and he’s out • you can’t comprehend it now, perhaps not ever • it’s just his secret love that’s bloody sweet and would drive anyone else but you absolutely crazy • okay this isn’t meant to be dark or anything like that and I spent a whole WEEK on this no joke I’m crying • but basically, we should accept and love each other’s flaws and differences • I don’t believe supernatural exist in real life so please don’t be scammed friends ahaa • see y’all next week! • 💖💕💓

[dxrkblaze]

Give ME ALL FOR THAT MEME BC IM A HO N I LOVE UR WIRITNG U FUCK

this just in: ru is gay and I love her HHDGSHHDDL THAnk u sm homie I cri,,, ❤️❤️

1) of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?Hmm… probably all my colors? Like, there’s a lot I’d like to go back and change, but at the end of the day it was my baby for a good two plus years and there’s a lot of personal stuff sprinkled in there. It kinda shows my emotional progression throughout high school in the story, and while that’s def not why I wrote it, it’s cool to go back and look at it sometimes to see the things I used to say/think about. Plus it’s one of the only massive projects of mine that I’ve actually completed, lol.

Also I have a lot of love for amc just bc it’s so… different, I guess? Like, I’ve never really seen something like it fleshed out into a full-length story, especially not with silver and blaze. And the fact that it rlly touched several ppl and got them rlly into it… that makes me feel kinda accomplished when I’m not being a self-deprecating prick lmao. I rlly rlly wanted it to be my first fic to get to 100 reviews for a reason!

2) favorite tense (past/present/future)Definitely past, I tried present with the unforgiven and it just made it frustrating to write, lmao.

3) favorite POV (first/second/third/etc)I prefer writing in first person, actually. I think it simplifies things for both the writer and reader, and I’ve always found a lot more freedom to be creative when I write in first person.

4) what are some themes you love writing about?Lmao well, obviously romance is priority one for me, so most of my themes stem from that. I rlly love writing about class struggle tho, whether it’s someone low who’s aiming high or a noble who isn’t satisfied with such a high class. Morality also comes up a lot in my writing, I guess; tryna figure out what the right thing to do is, tryna figure out if this character actually did the best thing, all that good stuff!

5) what inspires you to write?Definitely music… sometimes I’ll stray from it and pick up some inspo from movies/stories/etc, but 99% of the time I’ll be listening to a song and suddenly come up w a fic idea from it lmao.

6) thoughts on critiqueI encourage it!! bc I think it’s the only real way to improve. Sometimes it can make me feel bad if I’m in one of those rlly shitty self-deprecation ruts, but still I usually get over it soon even when I’m like that. I know it’s for the better, and I appreciate everyone who’s ever been kind enough, and cared enough abt my writing to give me critique!

7) create a character on the spot…. NOW!UMMMM OKIE,,, what abt a snow leopard named Kyra… she likes to sit around n read n eat noodles… her main hobby other than reading is dancing. she’s v shy but she loves her close friends n BAM I just made her gay. She’s a lesbian, harold.

8) is there a character you love writing for the most? the least? why?Most - probably silver… his personality is always one I’ve gotten a lot of joy out of writing. He’s basically a walking contradiction, lmfao. He’s also pretty easy for me to self-project onto, idk why. Least - I’m gonna say amy for this one, just because it’s been hard for me to focus on more than one aspect of her personality and flesh all of it out. Plus amy is a somewhat overused character lol, I get a lot more fun out of writing blaze/tikal/others when I need a female role, even if it’s something simple

9) a passage from a WIPOh u kno I gotta dip into royalty au for this one 👀

–

It was nearly a fortnight before any word was received from King Pyrus. It came in the form of a small parcel addressed to Blaze, which held a note inside for her. The young princess jumped at the feet of the servant who had brought it in, and once it was lowered into her hands, she hurried to her chamber. Once there, she closed the door behind her and jumped on her bed, unable to contain her excitement. With a careful claw and an eager expression, she tore the parcel’s paper away. Before looking at what it contained, she snatched the note from her father, and brought it to her face. It read:

My Little Flame,

I am sorry I could not write to you sooner. I remain busy, but I finally began exploring, and I found something I think you will simply adore. It is a traditional robe (I believe it is called a kimono) from here in the Eastern Isles. It is just as beautiful as the land, and just as special as you are to I, my dear. We must make plans to bring you here one day, it astounds me each time.

Do not fret about the ongoings in the world, how ever much you have heard. Kiniti watches over us at all times, and she will ensure peace among all kinetics. Hopefully, I will depart in the coming few days, and we will see one another soon.

With love,Father Flame

Blaze, of course, merely skimmed over the second half of the note as a formality. She laid the message aside, and her jaw dropped once she held the kimono out. It was a beautiful shade of dark purple, with an equally enchanting design. Trails of dainty cherry blossoms sat on rugged branches, which climbed up either side of the robe. The silk seemed to melt between Blaze’s fingers; it was the softest material she had ever felt. She rubbed one of the sleeves against her cheek, and purred into it. When she turned the robe over, she gasped. A large, pink bow was already tied at the back, as if it had been made just for her. She slipped the kimono over her shoulders, and although the sleeves hung low over her arms, the length was just right. Blaze tied the pieces of ribbon at her waist, just as Pyrus had taught her, and words could never express how delighted she was with the gift. She could not wait to show her father once he returned.

As Blaze was fitting her tail through the bow on her back, Baxton entered the room. Whenever Pyrus was absent, it was usually Baxton who took up the king’s general duties. He signed letters, addressed the people, attended court; it kept him quite busy. The only responsibility he didn’t inherit was any control of he army - the sole post he would be familiar with. Quite the chore it was, but Baxton was always fond of his temporary sovereign role. At least in terms of the power he held, that is. In fact, Blaze assumed that he had been yelling at some servants not too long ago, judging by his flushed face.

The elder cat scratched his head. “Princess, did the king leave a letter?”

Blaze pointed to the note on her bed. Baxton scurried to it, and frowned as he glanced over the elegant handwriting. “Is this it?” he quizzed.

The princess nodded, and held her arms out with a smile. “Look, Baxi! Look at what father sent me!”

Blaze couldn’t quite tell what Baxton’s expression conveyed, but it was something between a smile and a scowl. The note crumpled in a quick motion from Baxton’s fist, and was thrown back onto the bed cover. Blaze didn’t think much of this as Baxton hurried out, and she walked to her mirror to admire the kimono again.

–

10) what are your strengths wrt writing?Hmm… I get a lot of ppl saying that I’m pretty eloquent when it comes to phrasing/word choices? I’m constantly tinkering with how things are said, even up until like 30 seconds before I publish smth lmao. I also like to think I never just string sentences together and leave it at that when I’m narrating, I pay a lot of attention to how different sentences/phrases flow together.

11) what are your weaknesses wrt writing?My main weakness would probably be going overboard on all the little things, like how a sentence sounds or flows and stuff like that. I end up being a perfectionist with it, and sometimes when I’m crafting/changing phrases around, I end up with a sentence that kinda drags on or tries to do too much.

12) what’s your favorite place for writing resources?Tumblr’s pretty good for me, actually. I rarely ever seek out resources, but I do reblog a lot of them that come to me here and they’ve been very useful to me in the past.

13) who are your favorite writers?Ok first off binch u@aurora-boring-alis (FF: aurora-boring-alis) Then my other peeps who also make the quality goodness™™ I can’t get enough of (some fanfic accounts more active than others)@maliwarm (FF: biteworsethanbark) @lordoftheghostking28 (FF: lordoftheghostking28) @weezernaut (FF: space mercutio)@ebachan (wattpad: witto150)

[inktae]

"have you ever read a fanfic so fucking heartbreaking and full of angst that when it’s over you just stare at your ceiling for like 5 min and spend the whole day making up your own ending because I sure fucking do im still crying don’t touch me" this is a post i saw and i immediately thought of you!! I was too shy to tag u in it (even tho ive sent asks before not on anon dkdbjdjd) so i just sent it to you :')) 💖 enjoy your time off!! Whenever people take time off of tumblr i see it as a 1/2

a good thing bc tumblr really takes up a lot of time if you don't pay attention and at the end... internet is just internet yknow? social media makes us forget how beautiful the simple things in life can be, like do u know how satisfying it is just to walk around with a friend and talk abt life?? We should do more of that and less worrying abt followers or likes (which i'm guilty of jdjdv) but thats just our generation i guess... wow this got long i only ment to send u that post wjdjdj sorry 2/2

alksjd haha that’s so cute, thank you! and please don’t be afraid to tag me in things, I really don’t mind even if it takes me a bit to go through my notifs and asks :))

I’m really enjoying my time off and I get what you mean, social media can be incredibly toxic and that is why I only focus on very few (I only use tumblr and instagram, and twitter very occasionally). I’ve been enjoying just going on walks and spending time with my family and my dog and it’s just been great and so relaxing. ^^ fortunately I don’t pay attention to numbers at all lately, though I mostly worry about people forgetting about me or not being hype anymore about my future stories, which is why I still want to keep this blog somewhat alive ahaha.

anyway, I am still writing! I’m just not stuck to the computer 24/7 and I’m only doing so when I really feel like it, which is why I’m not updating constantly like I used to do. I have about two WIPS right now and I love how they’re coming along because I’m not forcing myself to write them or rushing them in any way. my writing is flowing very easily (which is surprising because I have the biggest reader’s block right now, and reading is what mostly inspires me to write) so I’m super content about that even if I only write like 500 words a day haha. and sorry for ranting myself, my reply also got too long 😂 thank you for dropping me a message, have a nice day!!

[shslbullrider-blog]

45 qs

oooh my god this is typical ellie “answered too long” there are no short responses but lots of ebull spoilers bc i dont care.

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

ebull has one big sister!  she and her are obnoxiously close, and have been known to game situations so that they’re both doing similar things at the same time -- just so they can spend as much time together as physically possible.  they’re physically separated most of the time, so they have to make any time they get for each other really count--!

ebull has always been achingly protective over her sis, who, in turn, is a bit more clever and wise than her.  they kind of have always lived in each other’s minds and they really balance each other out!  

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

loving, but distant.  ebull doesn’t see her mother that much -- mostly for vacations and for the odd week or two out of the year.  she talks to her on the phone often enough, but it’s not quite the same.

most of their face-to-face interaction is based in her mom making up for lost time -- which tends to lead to ebull’s fashion and life choices being prodded at.  lovingly!  but in that completely-serious-tongue-in-cheek way.  theyre a pretty dry but warm family over there in gen, but it does embarrass her a bit. 

 she’s a bit more secretive towards her mom than with her dad -- but doesn’t really find that to be a bad thing!  mostly bc her mom is a bit of a gossip though and it Strains Her Life.  she’s also got an issue with respecting ebull’s privacy and she really hates that.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

extremely close.  ebull is a bit of a daddy’s girl and it’s kind of obvious -- she spends a lot of time with him, tells him all of her issues, asks him for advice, rags on him -- and he dotes on her like no one’s business.  she could probably get away with murder and have her dad ask her where to hide the body -- he enables a lot of her behaviors in a way her mom refuses to.

he does have a few very hard limits, though.  and ... makes it painful when she crosses them, because he tends to feel rather personally slighted if ebull keeps things from him or goes against direct advice.  they live together most of the time when ebull isn’t at home, so she tries to avoid this whenever possible.

sometimes by drawing in!  oops.  privacy.

he’s a really dry but extremely warm guy in gen tho -- kind of a great person and ebull admires him a lot.

does not fucking get video games though.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

ummm not really, not counting murder game things.  

sawako’s death fucked her up in a way that she doesn’t like to talk about -- even to people she’s close to -- but well!  that’s private--!

not even michiko knows the extent there and that’s saying something.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

advil, spare bandannas, potions, sawako’s love/friendship potion (it pokes at her back like constantly), tissues, pens, little scraps of paper, small vials of perfume, essential oils, hand cream, hershey kisses, needle + thread, mini toothpaste/toothbrush, a photo of her sister, gum, about four tubes of lipstick, mascara, her ID, like a single monocoin, sometimes you get a spare pair of clothing in there (plus calvins!), breath freshener, nail polish, nail cutters.

...

her jacket has more pockets than you’d ever fucking know.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

warmth.  being enveloped in warmth.  sunny days, laying in the grass, swinging a bat with her dad, driving over 100mph and feeling the warmth of the car through her hands.

....

sometimes she dreams of ow characters kissing her too but that’s a whoooole other kind of warmth she wouldn’t admit to.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

coldness.  dying slowly and alone.  calling out to people to receive no answer.  people she’s close to telling her she’ll be right back and not answering her call thirty minutes later.  various situations of seeing various corpses of cared-for people in increasingly horrifying death poses.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

nah! why use guns when she’s got THESE GUNS [pretend she flexed]

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

nah not really!  and if it did change, she didn’t really notice.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

being honest -- super honest?  more.  a lot more.  jackets and things to cover her neck -- she can’t wear dresses comfortably without pulling tights up or she feels uncomfortable.

but she’s willing to wear the hot ‘skimpy clothing’ to fit in better with her ‘fellow teens’ because that’s what’s attractive, right??  god shes sure this works??  janties are in season right she can bring them back??

stunningly if ebull is comfy w u she tends to wear more clothes in ur presence idk what that says about her.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

the first few months in the game, before merge.  it was a constant, waking fear back then.  wake up in cold sweats and close to puking.  character spoilers: she was always worried, anxious, and uncomfortable but u know she’s thriving.

(also, she’s ridiculously good at seeming calm).

there have been high points since merge -- including not getting texts back from tomoka, michiko calling her for help in ch5, and some assorted Other Business (lol) but yeah it’s eased off a little and hasn’t breached that level since.

outside of game i dont know if ebull knows what it’s like to know fear.  she DID have a frighten that she thought was rather substantial in telling her parents she got into hpa for being a gamer but honestly she lived and like most things in her life it went better than she  expected it to.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

well, she’s really good at SEEMING calm despite alarm bells in her head.  and she actually thrives during high stress situations!  she is deathly composed and very comfortable during raids, and actually has found that trials are kind of becoming comforting, in a sense -- and she feels calm in her accusations.

... thanks.

in general, she does better once she’s used to a rotation.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

nah not really!  she’s more squeamish than she seems at first glance, but it doesn’t obstruct her from what ‘has to be done,’ so to speak.  

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

names -- comes with the territory (given the fact that she deals primarily with online people).  but she’s super good at both, and very rarely gets a name unattached to a face -- or forgets either.  she finds it inspires bad blood.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

kiiiiind of ?  it’s a strange case.  ebull’s used to the finer things in life and has certain standards -- like, if she’s dating someone, she insists on both sentimental and expensive gifts (because the combination ensures that she covers her bases and that they “really” care about her -- it’s proper that way), and if she was denied anything from her current standard of life she... might go through a bit of a culture shock, really.  

money and status has been a huge theme of her life and upbringing -- with two working parents who sacrifice family time for their successes.  so she knows what it’s like to have a lot of it in a rather... passive way.  she has no interest in the excess that her family can get into, but she’s never ever ever had to even think about money in a lasting way -- she gets speeding tickets out the ass and the only concern she has is how her family might bully her, rather than the monetary cost associated with it.

she can afford to not be preoccupied with wealth, is probably the best way to put it.  she gets that this puts her in a pretty good position, and is empathetic to people who struggle, but really wouldn’t know what to do if she couldn’t just pay for shit she breaks without thinking about it.  so like, she’s not out there purposefully decorating her house with useless pieces of shitty expensive art or always after the highest brands, but wouldnt know what to do if the ability to do that was suddenly stripped away.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

ebull would claim a mix of both -- that competence and fulfillment in other areas help to ensure happiness, etc, but.

if you really put a gun to her head on this one, she’d have to admit to ‘happiness.’  she’s not very ambitious and not competitive in the slightest -- if she’s struggling emotionally and upset all the time, what point is there to her successes?  does success mean anything if it’s not attached to fulfilling work? 

she’d never claim that people have to be happy all the time, but don’t you have to lose to fully appreciate your wins?  it’s a conundrum.

she’s very go-with-the-flow in nature, and finds things escalate fast when people stress over finishing, being right, or attaining perfection.  it’s better to take a walk and let it sit for your health and happiness than push yourself further.

this is probably at least partially due to her overall ‘ahh’ feeling about how much her family works, but she absolutely doesn’t hold it against people who think differently.  kind of admires them, really!  she’s just not built for it.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

a stuffed monkey her dad got for her during one of his trips to america.  she keeps it somewhere in her room.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

ambition ambition ambition -- though admittedly, ebull has neither trait, in her view.  wisdom is fine and good, but it’s easy to sit and get complacent with it, she finds.  also people who think of themselves as ‘wise’ tend to give her headaches.

she admires cleverness above both but finds it’s not the same as either.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

jesus christ where do i even fucking start it’s kind of a cyclical mess.

her biggest is most likely how long it typically takes her to get comfortable with people.  ebull finds vulnerability, opening up, and the like... extremely difficult (but v attractive).  she’s extremely adept at turning conversations into what the other person is feeling, and avoids giving any insight about her life in most situations -- even with people she claims to be close to.  she keeps any cards she intends to keep close to her chest, even when it doesn’t make sense to.  she’s understanding to the point of becoming a doormat in some places, and is easy to take advantage of once she’s committed -- but fears getting to that level, and will naturally close off if someone doesn’t read her mind and figure that she’s uneasy.

then she’ll ghost that person for hurting her feelings or just using her.  which happens often, not because someone actually did, but because she thought they did.

she works primarily in the realm of assumed knowledge, and, as a naturally perceptive person, knows that it’s unfair of her to assume people will remember as much about her as she does to them -- but it hurts her feelings anyway if she’s close to (or is crushing on) someone who doesn’t seem to just ‘get her.’  you can’t rush things in too fast, but you also have to be the one to make the first move.  you have to get her but be okay that she will almost never tell you a direct answer.

she keeps her preferences and desires coy and mysterious until she’s comfy and ugh yeah.

like in general this is a self-feeding mess of an issue here and it’s of no surprise that before the game she’d never been in a relationship.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

usually it’s just to look for improvements to herself.  she very rarely uses other people as a basis as to what she should be doing in an excusatory way -- like ‘if theyre not working, i dont have to be.’  she hates that.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

she always -- and i mean always -- blames herself first.  this drives BYE(star)BYE up a wall when theyre playing games because yeah she does this incorrectly a lot.

she usually needs people to let her know when she’s being a bit too hard on herself or over-extending.  but even in these situations she... relies on someone else to take the blame off her directly, rather than believing it entirely herself.

22. What does your character like in other people?

cunning, warmth, a bit of a tongue-in-cheek attitude, bullying, ambition, COMPETENCE, a bit of daredevil attitude, ability to hold her leash, genuine care, passion, ability to admit fault, EMPATHY, work ethic, good-humoredness, effort, something that i can only describe as ‘has the vibe of a ‘’’bad boy’’’ but treats her right,’ the ability to balance her out in any way fucking possible, the ability to make decisions, teamwork, commitment, the ability to just ‘get her,’ caution.

no one person can have all these things which is so upsetting but she lives.  mostly if you balance her out and make her smile... she’s good.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

brattiness, hypocritical behaviors, blaming others needlessly, saccharine niceness, people who are weirdly friendly, touchiness too soon, obstructing team work, people who think theyre somehow above rules/norms, unwarranted self-importance, people who dont even pretend to try to understand where others are coming from, people who expect other people to do work for them, people who spread gossip too far, no boundaries, people who act as if theyre above bias/other human things/etc, ‘weak’ personalities, people who just escalate her rather than grounding her out a bit, people who take advantage of other people’s feelings, people who intentionally hurt others, sadistic qualities, overt self-flagellation, cattiness over men in women, men who are nasty towards women,  infidelity, lack of loyalty, promise breaking, people who claim to care past a polite level but don’t.

...she can take any of those in doses, and she’s very willing to admit that no one is perfect -- and she’s sure she expresses some of those herself, sometimes.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

weird question for ebull.

trust is a strange thing for this gal.  when ebull uses the word ‘trust,’ she means she has an expectation.  for instance, she trusts someone named “bigdragonfucker42069″ to be kind of unbearable in the team’s groupchat.  she makes these kinds of judgments very quickly, and can be said to ‘trust’ every single member of her class -- such as, she trusts veronica to come into a trial logically and get exasperated by any court theatric, and she trusts masashi to say little in trial but to be marginally sensible when he gives ideas.

most of these expectations do include trust for being alone together with them, sometimes during motives, because she trusts people to not go after one of the clearly athletic people who could phone a friend and have backup in minutes.  shit like that.

this doesn’t mean, however, that she trusts people in a traditional sense -- and it goes in negative ways -- like she trusts that there are maybe two people that, even before the game was revealed as a vr, would give a shit if she died beyond ‘fuck now we lost someone who does shit.’  it doesnt always work to her self image’s favor!  

for a more traditional trust -- like trusting with emotional intimacy... um.

....

that takes.  a long time.

...a very long time.  and you have to pass shittests.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

quick to suspect, slow to solidify -- if that makes sense.  she doesn’t put much above just about anyone, but she’s willing to see reason or be proven wrong, and is pretty gracious when this is done.

doesn’t change a damn bit if she’s close to someone, but her um.  reaction.  might be a lil different.

26. How does your character behave around children?

she loves kids so much and is eager to teach them things, show them things, the whole bit.  god.  she loves kids.  easiest way to get her to genuinely smile is to bring a damn toddler around her.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

eagerly, but levelly.  she doesn’t shy away from much, but she’s more looking to compromise or do whatever suits the group best than whatever interests she might have.

she finds she does get a lil excited at ‘locking horns’ with people, though.  so to speak.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

depends entirely on the situation.  usually really slow -- she’s got about three locks on herself, calm down mechanisms, ability to tone down her impulses (and her impulses are RARELY ‘hurt someone’) -- but she does have.  big.  no-nos.

if any of those no-nos are touched she kind of goes blank white and will get violent without warning.  these things don’t really happen in real life though so she’s usually safe.

sucks 2 b in this game tho lol sorry jiji.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

she really wanted to be the first female mlb baseball star.  died when she was about nine because it felt really unattainable, and she’d rather... accept her lot in life than try hard for something and fail that badly (oops).  now it’s too late to do anything about it even if she wanted to so she considers this a success in some way.

she isn’t here to make waves or so she says.  she doesn’t talk about this much but she does still love The Sport.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

people who use other people’s feelings against them, or abuse the trust other people have in them for their own gain.  people who lie in relationships.  cheaters.  people who could give a shit if they hurt someone they claim to care about.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

sitting with her family in their country home for their week alone together.  having only a few homework assignments to do, about to go on a walk with her sister so her parents can have time alone.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

she’s accidentally hurt someone she cares about -- they’re trying to act ok, but she can tell that they’re upset and that their trust in her took a hit.  she has no way to really apologize -- no way to fix it quickly.  she’s alone in her room, trying not to dwell on it but finding it impossible.  it’s cold.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

always always always willing to improve.  she takes all crit pretty well and never takes things personally.  maybe to a fault.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

not only does she immediately move on to a different method, but she mapped that method out mentally around the middle-mark of her first attempt, making it easier to jump into.  ebull has never seen the point in trying things over and over again in desperation, and is always looking for new ways around something.  she’s adaptable in almost every sense, and doesn’t feel too bad about failure the first dozen of times as long as she eventually settles on an answer.

this sometimes leads to some rather unconventional solutions but you know.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

ummm this is really dependent on the person, her intentions with the person, and their overall ‘relationship chemistry.’

ebull is extremely adaptable and finds it easy to go along with what other people need or desire in a relationship -- and therefore most of the time, if she likes a person, she tends to turn into some kind of balancing act.  she’ll also seek their company in her own ways!

it diverges a little between her intending for a friendship and her intending for a lover, however.  if ebull wants to have someone as a friend, she tends to spoil them -- to get into their interests a bit and starts to joke around early.  friends also get clued into her feelings and her background almost readily, and she’s more willing to explain herself or get into the things she likes (or even reveal embarrassing tidbits about herself) with people she feels mostly platonic towards.

if ebull intends to try to date someone, she um.

does her best to act absolutely detached from them.  if at all possible.  she shields any information about herself behind seven proxies of coyness.  she tries to turn every conversation into something about what the other person wants or their feelings rather than her own.  she gives little, coy compliments -- winking nudges of her interest -- but absolutely doesn’t invite the chance to get closer.  above all else, she tries to remain mysterious.

...it’s a lot easier to be her friend.  or like.  go from friend=>lover because holy shit is her dating scheme a pain in the ass.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

depends on if this is a business/pleasure relationship.  in business, or for similar things (like a family her parents are trying to impress), ebull is remarkably good at acting at least interested in and polite towards other people.  she’s very willing to be or act compassionate even to people she detests, as she finds that there’s too much emotional energy used up by being mad or trying to behave anti-socially around someone she has to be around.  ebull values group cohesion and effort above most else, and finds that she starts causing issues by gaining attitudes.

if she has to be alone with someone she dislikes, she’ll smile politely, giggle at all their jokes, shrug her shoulders a lot, and move on quickly.  mostly you can tell if she dislikes you if she’s consistently trying to avoid speaking with you, and doesn’t coyly hint at things.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

she finds these two are almost irreparably related, and likely couldnt choose between the two.  mostly because she’s more interested in just letting her actions speak for her, rather than get into fights over if she’s a good leader or deserves her position or anything.  it’s counter-productive to focus on either of these.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

weirdly enough she will usually just remove herself and her healers, if at all possible.  that, or try to calm the problem/threat or work around it -- rather than remove it entirely.  she’s not afraid of confrontation, but finds being quick to jump doesnt tend to look good.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

nope!  ebull doesn’t tend to deal with animals often.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

politely, doesn’t tend to seem entirely bothered by slip ups or the like.  the type of person who notices that something is going wrong in the kitchen or her waiter seems frazzled and responds with “im in no rush, so take your time” or merely steers the dinner conversation away from how hungry people are into something more productive.  tips well.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

earn it, fullstop.  and this includes things that people don’t traditionally associate with being earned -- like a good partner, for instance.  she detests when people demand or act deserving of things like other people’s respect, time, sympathy, or effort without giving a good reason.  this is partly why she’s not easy to phase even in the game when things go badly, because it’s easy for her to rationalize that she must have done something to disrupt other people’s trust in her -- and therefore lost her standing for their attention.  

she has never, ever assumed that she deserves something just for being there or showing up -- and finds that when things are just given freely, she gets a little anxious.  usually she assumes some ulterior motive.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

nah!

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

um unless you count 12 year olds on youtube who love her tanking videos, no.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

if it’s by text to a person she’s friendly with and has no intention of ever dating?  super easy.  “ilyyyyyy” and shit, sometimes cheeky.  she can also use the term ‘love’ very indiscriminately, as one of her more charming speaking tics.

any other circumstance? hoo boy.  she can think of no harder phrase to utter -- and this is coming from a gal who refuses to make first moves or say things in a non-delicate manner.

she finds phrases like ‘i love you’ way too fucking vulnerable to be said lightly -- and has to be absolutely sure before saying it.  because she fears not having her feelings reciprocated over most things, ebull will NEVER say it first, even if that means it takes years to exchange the phrase.  she’s also the type of person who could hear someone else say it in earnest and feel only uncomfortable -- if she doesn’t feel the same way.  rather than fake her feelings and return it, she’d find coy, cute ways to brush it off.  she doesn’t  take this shit lightly and has determined ‘i love you’ to be something said only with absolute certainty.

also if you say it too fast or in a position she thinks is kind of manipulative (such as saying it for the first time to her as you’re attempting to get next stage intimate), she’ll probably get disgusted at you for faking your feelings in an attempt to make her put her guard down and that’s a break up.

so yeah if she says it to you out loud, platonic or romantic?  she means the hell out of it.  also it probably embarrassed her to say and she might be close to crying.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

ebull is a buddhist and is therefore ‘covered’ when it comes to the afterlife -- so she doesnt really fear what will happen to her on paper.  off of paper she’s kind of still a bit weirdly superstitious and it’s a meld of traditional worries on top of bizarre concepts like american ghost hunting shows.  she’s kind of superstitious and willing to believe a lot of things -- especially things that can’t be especially disproven -- and can consolidate a world where most people reincarnate but maybe christians or something all turn into ghosts, and--

she also quietly believes in cute sounding myths, or old adages like “what will be will be” which she finds strangely comforting.  most things all point to her still being accounted for in the afterlife.

her big fear associated with death is leaving people she loves behind -- or how they’ll do without her there.  she doesnt want people she loves to dwell on her being gone.

[artofll]

Imposter

Recently i started reading Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning. The book presents the idea of how we tend to have an artificial self (aka an Imposter) that we present to the world vs our authentic, imperfect selves. At the end of chapter 2, the author writes a letter to his imposter after 20 days of a retreat with himself in the woods. He first starts out by actually thanking the imposter because when it first appeared was during the Great Depression. This mask helped keep the author strong and not constantly being afraid when there was barely any food to survive.. But the letter goes on to tell the imposter to leave because it’s now a soul crusher to the author...

After hearing that section of the book I paused and self reflected to find out what my imposter is and why it exists. My imposter   presented it self off and on during my early child hood but stayed around up to this date starting from the time i had my neck fusion in 2001. What are it’s characteristics.

It’s unemotional, not the most observant, close minded, not an independent thinker, always trying to be normal, not accepting help or adaptations. Why does this exist for me?

It’s 2 fold...first i was forced by necessity to endure numerous surgeries, medical tests, and various treatments at a very young age. This forced me to mature /take life extremely serious very quickly. I was totally focused on just working through what was going on, so i shut down my emotions (subconsciously), became tough (subconsciously to an extent) and went with the flow, and delayed the normal psychological developments of a child. Because most of my serious were pretty intense i was dependent on my support system. Which is great, that’s what you’re suppose to do...But when you get past say high school, you should be itching to get out into the world and make it on your own....yea that wasn’t me. I was successfully in college and professionally, but socially and emotionally i never really cared or knew i needed to grow in those areas.

In parallel to all of these medical procedures i was still attending school. I was born with Ectodermal Dysplasia (look it up on Google). Long story short i did not appear like everyone else nor did i function like everyone else. My imposter came out when in public to the best of its ability to try and fit in, to be normal. This involved being tough, as much as possible, not putting my foot down when i should have, lack of confidence, naively not accepting my limitations, etc. I also rejected any adaptions because they were too clumsy and made me look even less normal.

So the above was pretty much elementary through high school. Not accepting my limitations, well I’ve only recently started to be ok with my own skin until a few weeks ago, never late then never!...Ok, moving into college is where my imposter just dug a hole to china for my authentic self to the point of almost no return, until now. Going into college i was still extremely dependent on my parents in an unhealthy way (i went home nearly every weekend), i was shy/lack of confidence because i was afraid i wouldn’t appear to be normal. I also do not and frustratingly enough sometimes still don’t think for myself. A. I never learned how to and B. I had so much other stuff going on medically, etc that i was too oblivious on observing how to mature. Fast forward again to 2011-2014, when i got my first job and then got married....

From 2011 to about 2014 i really started to go down hill emotionally/socially. What i mean is started hanging out with people i normally wouldn’t hang out with; im an intelligent introvert who genuinely hates any sort of social stuff. Anyways, these guys were idiots, arrogant, like to drink and hooters, etc. I was in a stage where i was so use to being in a certain environment that i didn’t know how to function any other way. Best way to describe is when the Amish turn 18 they get some time to try out normal english life, sometimes it goes great and sometimes it doesn’t (drugs, drinking, driving fast etc). Thank fully God didn’t let me do anything that dumb....

In July 20, 2014 i said I do to my amazing wife. She has put in a superb amount of effort to learn about me, to be a better communicator, take care of me (both physically and emotionally). While we each bring our own challenges, marriage is a two way street, a team effort. My “imposter” has happily allowed me to be completely unobservant, be Mr. tough guy, not want kids bc it’s not cool/im afraid of not messing up, not putting God as the center of my life, because it’s not cool/, don’t show emotion, because it’s not the manly tough guy thing to do, ignoring help, not seeking help, etc. My imposter tough guy also didn’t have his values straight, he just went with whatever the people around him thought, pretty shallow. With all of this “not cool stuff or being afraid”, it became even more engrained the first few years out of school and a fish out of water. I didn’t allow myself to stay connected with nice folks from college because they weren’t the cool kids, stupid i know. 

My authentic self, the one who show’s emotion, pushes through barriers by accepting help and asking for help. The person who wants to make people happy and inspire them through words and actions. He loves God and believes he is his rock during tough times. That is who i need to be to be a Godly man. 

You know what? my recent research from multiple sources tells me it’s normal, cool, expected, etc to be a dad. It’s important to ask for and accept help; it’s healthy, it’s not a sign of weakness. Respecting, loving your wife, being goofy with your wife, every proper gentleman does it. Marriage is hard, it only gets harder if you don’t put the work in. Study your wife, be a servant leader, protect her, love her, say affectionate words to her, etc. If you don’t know how to do something in a relationship or you fail the first time. Own up to it and ask your friends, family and/or use the INTERWEBS.  I had the fortune of my wife telling my these things vs play hard to get but i missed those bc i thought (naively) marriage just happens/pssh those things aren’t important, You know what happened? Her and I more or less turned into roommates, two separate people no longer teammates.  She got frustrated and i got frustrated, we are now in that same gosh darn whole dug to China by my imposter.  

Communication during marriage is number one, but there’s a lot more to it then just being transparent...yes that’s good, but words have power. You have to know what you’re saying, can’t just say whatever comes out of your head. I don’t mean filter to make the conversation sway one way or another but to present your thought in a way that is straight forward and easy to understand to the best of your ability. 

Also your priorities in life as a husband is to serve, protect and love your wife above all else. Show her off in public, defend her in public, don’t make her feel bad, argue maturely (it’s ok to take a 5 minute break to cool down). Life is a journey, not a destination, enjoy it.

Also, here is a list of resources for you on relationships/marriage:

https://www.marriagelaboratory.com/

https://www.marriage365.org/

http://www.markmerrill.com

https://www.familylife.com

https://www.theadultman.com

[calumcest]

(part 1 of many) I know I’ve only been gone for like three days but as always I have a lot to say so here I am, prepare yourself for a long boi and by boi I mean ask not anything sexual don’t get it twisted. first, I’m done painting my room and I ended up doing the walls off white for the top half and a dusky pink for the bottom half. I love the way it looks but the amount of times I swore at the painter’s tape while trying to put it on in a straight line should probably count against it.

(part 2) also, since I’m 5’1” and do not own a ladder, I was on my tippy toes for like two whole days, and now my legs refuse to support me like what else are they even here for?? also also, you were right about me hallucinating! except not from sleep deprivation, it was from paint fumes bc I forgot to open my window. Lol, that reminds me I have a great story about a misadventure w chloroform, lmk if you want to hear it. next order of business, I’m here to gush about your writing again.

(part 3) honestly who do I stan more, you or 5sos? Pretty sure it’s you; everything you write just flows SO naturally. It’s like the type of thing I can read and then not realize how long I’ve been reading bc it’s so easy to lose myself in. Beyond that, every time you post something I go back to my debate au and write like four sentences bc ur writing actually makes me feel inspired it’s that good. Specifically about the soulmate fic, GOD the slow burn might kill me but I love it.

(4) Also, I wholeheartedly expect some insider secrets about London in the form of fic shenanigans like if that’s where they are I want some content in case I ever visit. Also, the newest addition to the holyverse is undoubtedly my favorite, despite not having any idea who Noel/Liam Gallagher are, other than men people question your attraction towards. Which, like, I usually trust your taste bc Taron and Richard Madden, but Helen, I’m truly sorry, having just looked up pictures I can not support

(5) you in this endeavor. Now, adding to the discourse about having too many tabs open, I’ve never related to anything more than my family being just me and my 3000 tabs. I finished all my final projects two weeks ago, and yet I still refuse to close any of the tabs I used. I always feel slightly ridiculous every time I have to go back to an old tab by like remembering when I was thinking something, like “hmmm I looked up the spotlight effect in between that YouTube video and that fake online

(6) online shopping spree, so the tab should be roughly at the halfway point between those two” yeah I’m bad at math but those are some calculations I am more than capable of doing. I think that’s probably all tumblr will let me send for now, but you should expect me to be back later bc my ability to ramble is still unparalleled anyways have a lovely day/night/whatever time it is in England -arbor day

that sounds like EXACTLY the kind of room i would like to live in i vibe with that so hard also i hope you managed to get some SLEEP in the few days you were gone don’t think i forgot about your 40 hours of wakefulness also yes please i do want to hear this chloroform story i forgot chloroform still existed i always associate it with like. jack the ripper

STOP?? this is the sweetest thing in the world i do not deserve these compliments you are too fucking lovely to me truly i cant believe firstly that you enjoy my writing tha tmuch and secondly that it inspires u to write?? ICONIC from u u shoudl write more and then post it xoxoxoxoxoxo 

i cant even tell you how refreshing it is to write london me in the last chapter writing the exact directions from the aquarium to charing cross because i know central london like the palm of my fucking hand whereas whenever theyre in sydney i’m like Luke walked down the street <3 Luke got on the train <3 SNKDJFNKSJDF 

I’M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT please support my potential britpop au where i have calum in oasis and michael in blur (if u dont know they were like. At War in the 90s and constantly having a go at each othe rin the media and vying for awards like releasing songs on the same day etc) so its got britpop and romeo and juliet vibes and malum were childhood friends who drifted apart in late adolescence...please...ALSO!!!! look ok i totally understand my taste now is highly questionable i cannot contest that BUT liam gallagher was fucking pretty back in the day (example example example) and i also personally think noel was (example example) but i will still accept criticism on that. BUT LIAM??? come on he gets rights 

GOD I FEEL THAT SOOOOO HARD ur just like...but what if i Still Need It for Some Reason. i believe in u though u can close those tabs although i have to say i literally cannot speak the number of tabs i have open right now would send some people (bella) into heart palpitations i genuinely have so many tabs open that chrome isnt showing me all of them but what am i meant to do...close pictures of liam gallagher looking pretty? absolutely not. i want to have them there so that when i do look at the tab i remember oh yes thats a picture of liam looking pretty so i can click on it observe him being pretty then go about my day 

ALSO i hope u are having/have had a good day too i am glad to hear from u again i hope all is well and that you are SLEEPING well 

[rtwlovers]

Our China Crash Course

Our adventure through China was an absolute whirlwind that covered almost 3,000 miles in 10 days. To see China in that amount of time is like taking a 10 day trip to see New York, D.C., LA, and Seattle. It was absolutely insane.

But we had a good reason for the quickness—Blakely’s family came to join us and they only had a small window. We enjoyed the company (and the upgrade in accommodations!).

We started in Hong Kong, which is a great gateway into China since it is much more connected to the outside world. Reminder: the Chinese government significantly limits news flow of its citizens, and this makes them culturally cut off from the rest of society. While Hong Kong technically falls under Chinese jurisdiction, it was a British colony until 1997 when the Brits returned it to China. Hong Kong maintains a separate political and economic system from China, but the mainland significantly influences the legislation. China continues to broker more influence, and unfortunately protests don’t make much difference despite making international news.

Blakely and Ryan arrived 2 days earlier than the rest of the group, which was best as we were VERY dusty from our time in Nepal. We stayed at the Kowloon Shangri-la Hotel, which, as could be expected, were MUCH better accommodations than our norm.

We enjoyed the hotel then headed to explore the city. Of course, a highlight for us was the spectacular architecture. As city folk we really appreciate a good skyscraper, and Hong Kong has plenty of those! Hong Kong has a gorgeous skyline, with more skyscrapers than anywhere in the world, and Victoria Harbor elevates the view further. Ryan’s favorites were the HSBC Building, International Commerce Center and Bank of China Tower. Then we went to Man Mo temple, which is dedicated to the gods of literature and war. The incense and atmosphere make it a calm and gorgeous stop.

That night, we headed to the fabulous SoHo neighborhood (not to be confused with the SoHo in NYC, this stands for South of Hollywood Road) which has one of our favorite features: escalator sidewalks. First we hit a wine and cheese bar, and then one of our favorite restaurants Little Bao. So fun, so delicious, and everything we needed.

Finally, the rest of the group arrived. We didn’t pause long before taking them on a walking tour the neighborhood. Then for dinner, we headed to the world renowned Din Tai Fung restaurant for delicious dumplings and noodles. Finally, we headed to Temple Street Night Market for a bit of chaos and shopping! Unfortunately the market is MUCH more glitz than glamor, and as many things in China, focused on the shiny quantity over quality!

The next day was a big one. We started on a tram up to Victoria Peak to see the sights,. Due to the crazy fog, the view half-way up was better. Then we took a boat tour to see the floating village of Aberdeen and the temples there. Afterwards, a little tea time at the Peninsula hotel, then cocktails while watching the harbor light show.

Next, we jetted off to Guilin and immediately went to the gorgeous Reed Flute cave. In case the natural structure isn’t enough, the gorgeous light displays make the cave even more mystical and impressive (though a few thought they were tacky and preferred the natural landscape!). In Guilin, we stayed at the beautiful Guilin Shangri-la Hotel.

Next on the itinerary was a drive out to Longji, with hiking to see the gorgeous rice paddies. Absolutely worth the hike (to say nothing of needing to work off those dumplings!), this was a trip highlight for all of us.

That night we took a light cruise around the lakes of Guilin. The Chinese LOVE a light show, and we were pretty impressed ourselves!

The next day was a highlight: A boat cruise along the Li River. This site has inspired painters and artists for centuries, and it inspired the artwork on the 50 yen note today. Blakely couldn’t resist the beauty recreated by a local artist on rice paper, which is now hanging in our house!

After the day’s craziness, we took a flight to Xian and settled into the Wyndham Grand Xian hotel, another fabulous place!

Xian attracts visitors from all over the world with the incredible Terracotta Warriors. Even with all of the hype, they do NOT disappoint. Here’s the skinny:

When the first Emperor of China Qin Shi Huang died around 210 BC, he was buried with an army he commissioned to protect him in the afterlife. There are approximately 8,000 soldiers, 130 chariots, 520 horses and 150 cavalry horses. Additionally, there are officials, acrobats, strongmen and musicians. All of the statues are life sized, uniquely carved and painted, and buried in different sized pits. The largest of the pits is housed in the museum for viewing. It is INSANE to see.

Even cooler: the army is just a portion of the remains left to be discovered. Excavation is ongoing, but ground-penetrating radar detects a larger city resembling the emperor’s imperial palace and court. Next we gobbled down some delicious beef noodle soup!

The next day we had a gorgeous bike ride around Xian’s ancient city walls, which were built in the 14th Century and form one of the best-preserved fortresses in the world. After earning our treat, we had a walk through the Great Tang All Day Mall and celebrated with Popsicles and BBQ. This is a market of which we all approved!

After Xian we flew to Shanghai and got to visit the historic and beautiful Zhujiajiao village. We felt like we stepped back in time! We had a canal cruise, did a little shopping (of course) and went to see a historic mansion with traditional Chinese gardens.

Shang Hai was absolutely our favorite city in mainland China, with a gorgeous skyline and metropolitan atmosphere. As discussed, we love cities. We walked along the river and had a fabulous dinner before enjoying one of THE most bizarre and fantastic shows we’d ever seen: The Amazing Acrobats of Shanghai. We will never be able to see another acrobat show again.

The following day the boys and girls separated, and the boys took a tour of the mind blowing Shang hai port. Afterwards we all flew to our last stop (WHEW) Beijing.

The next day was a highlight and it started with Tian’anmen Square. According to our official guide it is “the largest city square in the world” (it is actually only one of the top 10) “and the spiritual heart of China, where the national flag is raised exactly at sunrise every day.” Of course, what isn’t mentioned in the paraphernalia is that this square is infamous for the horrendous massacre of protestors in 1989. Troops with automatic rifles and tanks killed hundreds of demonstrators who were trying to block the military’s advance to the square (where a student protest was happening).

Today, Tian’anmen is a heavily regulated area and indicative of Chinese policy in general. Before entry, visitors and their belongings are searched and IDs checked. Protests are strictly forbidden, and discussion of the massacre nonexistent. Furthermore, in the 70s the square held ginormous portraits of 6 dictators (including Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin, and Joseph Stalin), but upon the death of Mao Sedong (founding father of the People’s Republic of China) the other portraits were removed and only his remains. Don’t worry, the other portraits are still brought out in a parade around the square on Labor Day and National Day.

For all its dark past, Tian’anmen Square allows entrance to one of the coolest places in China: The Forbidden City. The Forbidden City is a palace complex in Central Beijing and housed the imperial palace from 1420-1912. Now, it is a Palace Museum and provides an excellent snapshot of gorgeous Chinese architecture, artwork, and artefacts. Our personal favorite was the Hall of Clocks, a display of 200 clocks and watches from the imperial collection.

Last stop for the day, we visited the Temple of Heaven, a complex of religious buildings that was visited yearly by emperors to ensure a good harvest.

Ok. Now for the part we’ve all been waiting for. The famous symbol of China, an architectural wonder of the world, stretching 6,700 km and over 2,000 years old: The Great Wall of China.

The wall was constructed over many different dynasties to protect the ever-changing empire borders. The most extensive and modern construction occurred as recently as the 14th Century. Effectiveness of the wall varied, and our guide informed us that bribery decreased the walls success. Unfortunately, with the invention of air invasion, the wall was largely unproductive in modern era. That said, it is magnificent to see.

Though it can’t be seen from the moon (common misconception), it can be seen from space at a low orbit when the conditions are right.

Maybe one of our favorite parts was the ride down. Take a look.

To get to the wall we enjoyed the Sacred Path, which is lined with animals, mystical beasts and officials who serve the emperor in his afterlife. Sitting emperors perform rituals there for the ancestors once a year.

Our last stop in China was one of our favorites: The Summer Palace. This was an imperial summer resort of the Qing Dynasty and it has gorgeous grounds that are the recognized as the most splendid classical gardens of China. The incredible decoration on the buildings made us constantly look up, and we loved finishing our trip with such a gorgeous example of Chinese art. Our only complaint was that we visited on a holiday so we felt like all of China was there with us! One thing is for sure: China has a LOT of people!

So ended our blitz through China, and if you’re tired from reading it you can imagine how tired we were for doing it! The only answer: a blissful vacation to Bali.