rasgonza

[rasgonza]

how am I supposed to act as if nothing happened?

I was hurt and disappointed yet I'm supposed to act all civil and like everything is just normal.

[rasgonza]

even if fate and time wasn't on my side in this lifetime, it is my in my most sincere prayer that I find love in every single thing that I do.

[rasgonza]

Life's Partner

They say be specific and real about the life partner you want. So I am sharing here the qualities of a partner I hope I could meet in this life.

- Someone who is calm and knows when to take things slow - Someone who knows how to communicate how they feel - Someone who knows when to listen - Someone who is supportive of my goals - Someone who knows and is sure of what they want - Someone who is family oriented (with the right boundaries) - Someone who's not afraid to show and tell how much they love - Someone who values themselves and committed to improving

I have listed all these qualities so that I could use this as a guide and also be this kind of person. Relationship is a two way street. I cannot expect my future partner to have all these qualities and not be one.

To my future partner, let's meet once the time is right. Once we're stable, and confident to know that when we get together we will not let go of each other's hand.

I'm putting this out for the universe to see.

Love lots. Ras

[rasgonza]

05.05.2024

Life really have it's own way to fck up and take away the things you want to do.

Yes, I am fully aware that the things that are meant for you will eventually find it's way to you. Maybe not now but sooner or later. But when you already poured your heart and committed to something and that was suddenly taken away from you, it breaks your heart and soul no matter how much you try to comfort yourself.

I refrain from talking about it as it still breaks my heart every time I think about it. It still brings tears to my eyes. I don't think I can ever forget the disappointment it brought me. I might heal but forget? Nope.

Regardless of the things that had happened, I know I'll eventually pick up myself. I'll work hard, persevere, and bring back the courage and braveness I had. I still look forward to the future but this time feeling lost and not having an idea.

[rasgonza]

03.30.2024

even if fate and time wasn't on my side in this lifetime, it is my in my most sincere and deepest hopes and prayers that it let me experience a life with you. life full of happiness, sorrows, laughter, tears, ups, downs, challenges, and success shared with a wonderful person like you.

my heart would love to get to know you more. it would love to get to know what makes you smile? what makes you sad? what makes you angry? how do you like your coffee? do you prefer sweets or savory? what's your daily routine? are you a morning person or a night owl? do you also like reading? do you like taking walks? or maybe you prefer to go for a drive?

it longs to experience things with you. not the luxurious, expensive things but the mundane ones. staring at the sunset or sunrise, prefer the sunset 'cause I'm not a morning person no matter how I try. do grocery shopping, do the laundry, me reading a book while you're doing your own thing, cooking for the two of us, daily walks with our pet/s, morning coffee, watching our favorite movie / series, listening and singing along to our music.

so even if in this lifetime all I can do was to hope and pray for you, I will do it. may it come true or not, I will do it.

[rasgonza]

03.29.2024

Nature walks really alter your brain. It makes you realize how the most mundane and smallest things in life are actually the one that makes us genuinely happy. Yes, we need money and material things to live comfortable in this life. Let’s not be hypocrite here but it is the small things in life that makes our hearts, and soul truly, genuinely happy. This day made me realize how all I want for 2024 is really to become a better version of myself. Kinder, calmer, more understanding, more loving, happier and more patient version of myself. I want to be someone who sees the good things in life but also never turns a blind eye to the negative side of this world. Someone who despite what life gave to her still let’s her inner child have fun through her adult self. Someone who recognizes her own achievements and feel happy for it. Someone who’s tough but still loves and care for people deeply. All I need was a time to myself. Time to clear my head of all the negativity and erase hatred from my heart. Time to recognize that I make mistakes and I have the opportunity to be better. Time to release all the pessimistic thoughts that was fed to me and replace it with positive thoughts. Thoughts of love and life. Thoughts that make my heart happy and my soul dance. In this way, I can say that I��ve lived my life in my own terms. Gone are the days of living other people’s expectations, ideas, and goals. It’s only right for me to embody my ideas, personality, and values. To achieve my own goals, make mistakes, fall down, and stand up to tell my story of success. To love myself before I love other people. To focus on myself and my happiness. To cry my heart out. To feel my emotions instead of suppressing it. To be me. Genuinely happy me.

[rasgonza]

2024

People who know me since high school might remember me as someone who’s obsessed (the only rightful term) with Wattpad and books. I spent most of my days reading novels, poetries, anecdotes, and even biographies I randomly encounter rather than reading school lecture notes. What most people don’t know is that I also write. I used to write stories, and poetries because that is the only way I can express my thoughts, feelings, and my love for life that time. Eventually, I also started writing articles but that’s a different story. These pieces that I wrote were never published and I rarely share them to anyone because of how personal and chaotic it is. As time went on and life happened, I stopped writing and reading. The things I used to enjoy became more of a burden. I barely loved life and it became a matter of daily survival, of accomplishing things, of achieving goals, of endlessly proving myself. So, this 2024 I promised myself I will love life again. Genuinely this time and not just something I say, post on social media, and tell other people to do. Here, you’ll read my thoughts, my love for life, and my stories in its most raw, chaotic, and unfiltered form.

To do things for the love of life rather than just merely surviving. Ras.

[rasgonza]

It’s Mental Health Month, Tumblr!

Your mental health is important. Because of the coronavirus, people all around the world are experiencing high levels of mental and emotional stress. That’s why this year’s Mental Health Month initiative will focus on common aspects of isolation and loneliness: how to protect, maintain, and improve your mental health, how to manage your relationships inside and outside of your household, how to combat boredom, and how to deal with the grief you might be feeling.

All month long our friends at Ditch the Label (@ditchthelabel), a UK anti-bullying non-profit, will post resources to guide you through some of the emotional hardships you may be feeling right now. Here on @postitforward, we’ll be reblogging the best stuff we see from them, the top-notch stuff we see from the rest of the Tumblr community, and posting exclusive original art from some of our very own Tumblr @creatrs. 

Some of you may be concerned with your mental health for the first time in your life. For others, existing mental health issues may be exacerbated by current events—especially for those of you who may be quarantined with people whose values are at odds with your own. We see you, and we want to help.

If you don’t want to see these posts, that’s okay! Taking good care of your mind comes in many forms. We’ll tag all of our posts with “cw mental health month” as well as more specific tags when appropriate so you can use the tag filtering tool to keep them from your dashboard. And, hey, if you’re looking for a totally stress-free zone, go out and check out Cozy (@cozy)—it’s a blog we created to embrace a little escapism. Otherwise, be sure to give Ditch the Label (@ditchthelabel) a follow if you’re interested in the tools and guidance they will be providing starting May 4.

One last thing: If you or someone you know are struggling and don’t know where to turn to, here’s a list of free counseling services located all over the world

Do your best to take care of yourself, Tumblr. <3

[rasgonza]

For that guy...

Even when you left, I still expect for your text. Waiting for those late night calls, Wanting to hear your voice.

Even when you're gone, Our love stays in my heart Memories linger in my mind, Sending tears in my eyes.

Even when you broke my dream, You're still my daydream. Once beautiful but ended in a nightmare, I may regret but not forget.

Even when you took away my hope, My heart still believes in you. Even when you stole the light, My eyes still shine for you.

Even when you broke my heart, It still hopes for your best. Now I know what is the end game, We were destined not fated.

[rasgonza]

Happy Never After

Just when you thought it's all perfect. an unexpected plot twist came.

Everything seems to be in it's right place. We're happy, we enjoy each other's company. Most important is that we love each other so much, or maybe that's what I thought. Every moments feels like were in a fairy tale. But unlike in other fairy tales, ours is not a happy ending.

One day, you left without saying anything even good bye. You ended what I thought was 'us' and you made me feel like I never really mattered. That all the affectionate words you said and actions you did were all lies. Lies to make your self feel better and to make me feel stupid. You made me feel like it was all my fault for being foolish to believe that you truly loved me. All the questions came rushing to my head, flooding both my heart and mind to the point that I can't think clearly.

Am I not enough ? Am I not worthy of love ? Why did I believe you ? Why weren't you the one you swore you would be ? Did I just believed all your lies for the second time ?

Yes, for the second time. However, deep inside I know that there is still a part of me that wants to cover all your lies with "maybes" and "buts". But my mind, the antagonist in this case, won't believe you anymore that's why I already let you go.