#The folks who made a Reddit-Looking killer robot

[a-child-turned-monstrosity]

//Vidya gam mad kokoro cri welcoming all fluff related to Lief. Mun will be currently laying on the floor and creating a puddle.

[tes-trash-blog]

ElaborTe

So if you like Nords or stan them or cherish them as much as I do the Snow Elves, you might wanna skip this one.

TW: White supremacy, Neo-Nazism, the trash blog going completely off their shits

From the early days of the Elder Scrolls, the Nords have always been.. Well, Norse-coded. As far as races and their lore-evolutions go, they’re the only ones who have held steady in their Nordy McNordness throughout the series. They’ve always been hardy, fair-haired men and women from frozen reaches of Skyrim. They’ve always had a foothold in that tundra, as early as the days of Labrynthian, first featured in Arena. They’ve always preferred axes and steel over magic and guile, and before anyone says anything about Project Tamriel or out-of-game lore or whatever Kirkbride said about robots and wasabi, I’m talking explicitly about canon here, as canon is what most gamers see in these games.

From their appearance to their armor and weapons to the draugr and ancient gods, the Nords are very much the Elder Scrolls’ answer to the Fantasy Viking, which in itself is based on the Vikings of yonder year.. Give or take a few embellishments. Their axes have harsh-but-intricate carvings, their armor is lined with fur and made from honest steel, they have names like Hulda and Sigrid, Roggvir and Thongvor, their voice actors hail from Sweden or can put on a Scandivan-esque accent. They look, sound, act, and dress Norse.

In media studies, this is called coding, a relatively new term in academia and so far still largely used in queer studies. Unlike allegory, which is an intentional one-to-one comparison of something vis a vis Lion Witch and the Wardrobe or Ender’s Game, coding is by and large unintentional, or at least unclaimed and not explicitly stated. It is a byproduct of beliefs, biases, and bumbletyfucks the writer possessed as they created a work, and left unchecked it can lead to problematic elements.

This isn’t to say that coding is terrible, or Bad, or Problematic (though it often is at least one, and sometimes all three), but rather, it is a limitation of being human. Most writers are human as are most of the audiences the media reaches out to, and as such are bound by their worldview and preconceived notions and biases. Just because it can be problematic doesn’t necessarily mean it always is going to be problematic. A skilled writer can recognize this and work around it, or even play with the preconceived notions the audience has. I’ve seen very few white writers accomplish this, even fewer that were cisgendered men, but it’s doable.

However, if these notions are left unchecked, unchallenged, and uncritically accepted, you end up with uh, things. Things like, oh, the Khajiit who steal and deal drugs and travel in “caravans” (oof), the Bosmer who are the only brown Elves in the game and are also cannibals (yikes), the Reachfolk are dressed in untanned animal skins and wear antlers and do guerilla warfare and fucking yikes Bethesda what were you thinking???

You also end up with the Nords, who really took a nosedive from Fantasy Vikings into Gleeful Killers with Magic Shouting come Morrowind, where the Snow Elves had a proper introduction if only to show that the Nords of old were mass murderers, but, y’know, felt kinda bad about it after a child soldier killed their leader. It makes for a sad story, but it’s a cheap, Ender's Game-esque out so the viewer doesn’t have to feel bad about rooting for them. “They felt bad, guys! It’s okay!”

These deeply problematic aspects of Nords-as-homicidal-maniacs only became more apparent with the arrival of The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim.

Here’s where that white supremacy warning I gave earlier comes into play. You still got some time to check out and enjoy your day.

Still here? Alright.

It was a perfect storm. As I said in a previous rant, Skyrim came about in a time of unprecedented White Anxiety. I cannot stress enough how much white people lost their damn minds when Obama was elected president. There were threats on the then-President’s life, on his wife and daughters, on a daily basis. Gun sales reached record highs out of fear that the boogeyman Democrat would take their guns away. Libertarianism soon became a shorthand for a white supremascist who likes to smoke weed. The so called Tea Party screamed about “freedom of religion” while openly applauding anti-Islamic hate crimes and calling the President by his middle name/dogwhistle “Hussien”, white supremacist hate sites saw an influx of traffic; Stormfront, the oldest of the bunch, saw a jump from 23,000 users in 2004 to over 100,000 in 2008, and this was before bot users were a thing admins had to weed out, this was before a certain foreign power took a keen interest in installing a useful idiot.

This was home-brewed vitriol.

All the while, right wing media went batshit. Fox News had their Mustardgate “scandal”, a dogwhistle to their populist audience that their leaders weren’t like “the average American”. Conspiracy theories sprung up right and left (pun intended) about the Obama administration and “the shadow government”, of which those neo-Nazi sites, with their surge in fresh-faced users,  were a wellspring for. Being the Internet, their memes and “facts Big Media doesn’t want you to hear” spread like a cancer to the greater Internet-- Reddit and its subsidiary Imgur, Tumblr, Twitter, 9Gag, countless other pockets of blogospheres and forums and media platforms. It was, and still is, fucking inescapable.

And of course, Nazis love them that Norse aesthetic. They love the cold where only real men could survive, unlike those weak-willed patsies and *checks notes* dijon-mustard lovers. They love the pale skin and light hair of the people as that’s their idea of genetic purity. They love the runes, the affectations, how the Norse folk of old just invaded and pillaged and were so strong, they did Blood Eagles and were so masculine.

And therein lies why I hate the Nords. I hate how they went from Generic Viking to Murder Men, I hate the direction Morrowind and onward took with them, I hate how no one had the foresight to either tone down these aspects or put a spin on them like they seemed to do with other races. I hate how quickly actual racists took to this fake ass race, I hate how they tried to pull a “both sides are the same” in that stupid Civil War questline when one side is an actual ethno-nationalist paramilitary cult. 

I hate how the writers of Skyrim were cowards, and I hate that they apparently looked at Ur-Fascism and saw a checklist. I hate that they gave the Nords, and by extension you, the player, a moral justification for rallying against a “high-brow”, “elitist”, “globalist” “oppressive”, distinctly non-Nordic and non-Mannish group of people because they “threaten the Nord way of life”. But let’s make the Elves the Nazi allegory so there’s no qualms whatsoever about siding with the Fantasy Republicans. I hate that every other stereotype of non-Nord races can be found in that game, from the skooma dealing Dunmer to the thieving Khajiit to the bootlicker Imperial to the fucking High Elves. I hate that they only expanded on the morally-justified genocide of the Snow Elves with Songs of the Return, and then further reinforce how “good” that was by having you meet the guy who slaughtered children. I hate how, barring one easily missable side quest that still uses bothsidesism there is no challenge to this bullshit way of thinking. I hate that a sizable chunk of Stormcloakblr are also very clearly racist. I hate that my Ysgramor/Pelinal shitpost started to gain traction after someone with a rage face icon reblogged it with a “Kill All Elves” tag. I’ve deleted it since. The meaning is lost on those wastes of breath, and was 100% the cause for this rant.

I hate how the writers could have done better, but didn’t.

[league-of-light]

2019 What’s the Weekly Challenge Rankings Week 1 Weekly Challenge What Is It IDP Flex Weekly Challenge? Rankings

What’s up YouTubers it’s the Will + Dyl show back at it again with another set of power rankings. And by Will + Dyl back at it again I mean Dylan back at it again while I incoherently ramble nonsensical garbage next to him. We’re off to a great start. Per usual, Dylan will provide his EXPERT level statistical analysis of players and teams, and I’ll pick some stupid meme to run with. This week we’re going with Super Smash Bros because Banjo Kazooie just dropped and it’s the only light in my life outside of Ace and Dairy Delight. Anyway, take it away Dylan.

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Howdy folks! It’s been a while. I’ve wanted to get back into writing Power Rankings, but it seemed like a bad idea. I haven’t followed football late in the 2017-2018 season, and honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. But Will has convinced me that it doesn’t matter, and that I can do these anyway. So without further ado, here are my power rankings, based on what I understand about the league from almost two years ago. 

11. Cleveland Browns

The Browns have been the worst organization in football for about 15 years. Last I checked, this team was losing every single game, finishing the season 0-16. And now it seems that Josh Gordon DeShone Kizer aren’t even there anymore? This team has no shot. I don’t know who this Daniel Jones fellow is, but hopefully he can help; otherwise, this team is primed for a lot of losses. 

Super Smash Bros character: Pichu. If you’ve played Smash Bros, you know that Pichu has nearly the same moveset (if not the same exact moves, sue me Evan I don’t use Pichu) as Pikachu. The only difference is, anytime Pichu attacks, it also hurts itself. Just like me, every time I look at this stupid gimmick team I decided to go with instead of actually trying to win free money.

10. Honedge Heroes

Antonio Brown AND Le’Veon Bell? I’m not a fan of taking the two Steelers, who will steal touches from each other. Brandin Cooks is great, and I like Derrick Henry, but I’ve never even heard of half of this team. This team should suspend any hope they had of being a contender. 

Smash Bro: R.O.B. Rob is a robot, so is Dylan.  I am reminded about a thing I read today on Reddit about a robot. It was written by Douglas Adams. Please hold while I find the quote:

A robot was programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches. This was actually the most difficult part of the whole experiment. Once the robot had been programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches, a herring sandwich was placed in front of it. Where upon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich! I like herring sandwiches. It would then bend over and scoop up the herring sandwich in its herring sandwich scoop, and then straighten up again. Unfortunately for the robot, it was fashioned in such a way that the action of straightening up caused the herring sandwich to slip straight back off its herring sandwich scoop and fall on to the floor in front of the robot. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich...etc., and repeated the same action over and over again. The only thing that prevented the herring sandwich from getting bored with the whole damn business and crawling off in search of other ways of passing the time was that the herring sandwich, being just a bit of dead fish between a couple of slices of bread, was marginally less alert to what was going on than was the robot.

^ This is Dylan, and the herring sandwich is the New York Mets.

9. Cursed Will

It’s tough to rank the team with the best player in football (Aaron Rodgers) this low. But Jordy Nelson is getting up there in years, so I’m not sure how good Rodgers receivers will be. 

Super Mash Potato: King K. Rool.  Dylan had a pretty fire one for this, so I’ll let him take it away:

IT’S NICE THAT AFTER YEARS OF FREELOADING IN SMASH GAMES AS A TROPHY AND A STICKER, KING K. ROOL FINALLY DECIDED TO CONTRIBUTE AND BE PART OF THE SMASH ROSTER. THIS DOESN’T HELP ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO SPENT YEARS WITH THE EARLIER SMASH GAMES, BUT I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT NOW THAT HE’S OLD AND IRRELEVANT, HE FINALLY DECIDED TO BE USEFUL.

For those who don’t know, Evan now pays rent. For those who also don’t know, Evan and King K. Rool are both thousands of years old, have leathery skin, and eat Taco Bell every other day. Also, check out this screenshot of K Rool from when Banjo was announced, it’s literally the most Evan photo on the internet.

8. Float Like a… Whine Like AB

I’m not sure why they have Alex Smith’s backup at QB. Davante Adams and Michael Thomas are great, but Mark Ingram seems to be their only competent RB. Maybe they’ll get Alex Smith and find a way to contend. Otherwise, I’m not really sure what this team is doing. 

Smush - Donkey Kong. For those of you who don't know, Donkey Kong got his name because Nintendo wanted to convey that the ape was stubborn, so they picked the most stubborn animal they could think of. Or at least that’s how the story goes. That alone would be fitting enough for Jason, but really he gets DK because of DK’s affinity to charge up a punch and wiff on it, only to CHARGE UP AGAIN LATER.

7. tbt to K88 being platonic

I’m glad to see Larry Fitzgerald is still around, and they have Andrew Luck’s long-time favorite target Eugene Hilton. Ben Roethlisberger could have a huge year with the talent on that Pittsburgh offense, and Alvin Kamara is great. Still, I’d expect Devonta Freeman to split carries again, and the Bills’ defense can’t be very good. 

Super Dunk - Young Link.  Young Link has been out of the Smash Brothers games for over a decade which is almost as long as Harnsowl has been out of America.  Also, YL can drink a seemingly endless amount of Lon Lon Milk, just like Harnsowl with alcohol. 

6. Spicy Meatballs

From what I’ve been told, James White should be the best RB in football by now. I’ll take Phil’s word for this. And Drew Brees is awesome. But I’m not sure about the rest of the team. JuJu Smith-Schuster will have trouble getting touches over the Killer B’s, and all I know about Anthony Miller is that he was a mediocre NBA player in the 90’s who had a brief cameo in Space Jam. Tough to see this team doing well if they can’t improve on that depth. 

Super Meesh Pepe - Samus. Another soulless human robot thingamabob whose only purpose is to watch the New York Mets. Dark Samus for when the Mets lose. So I guess always Dark Samus?

5. No Content

I don’t know if Kyler Murray is actually good, but I’m expecting a big year out of Eric Decker. And the Colts QB has always loved throwing to TE’s, so Eric Ebron should have a huge year. A definite sleeper who might take the league by storm.

Supper Dinner Brother - Lil Mac.  Dylan beat me to it again:

I respect the effort that they put into making Little Mac a better character. They improved his aerial gameplay and his recovery, and made a bunch of other improvements. It must have taken them, like, 12 weeks of work! But, despite all that effort, he’s still in a low tier and can’t compete with the stronger characters.

Honestly, the biggest difference here is that Lil Mac definitely never skips leg day (see photo)

But apparently Kyle has been for the past 84 days.

4. Shit Outta Luck

For some reason, their team page says that they dropped Andrew Luck, but I’m going to assume that there’s some kind of issue in the database that will be resolved shortly. I’m assuming some team that already had a franchise QB took Saquon Barkley at a completely reasonable pick in the draft, and he’s doing great there. And Mike Evans is a star. Once Andrew Luck is re-added to the roster, this team can be a real contender.

Smash Bros Character - N/A. Dylan, Who’s fuckin team is this?

3. I’m Still Here Bitches

A shockingly strong showing for Team Arielle. David Johnson, from what I recall, is the best RB in football. Julio Jones is awesome. Dak Prescott is pretty good, although honestly, I still think Tony Romo is better. Damien Williams might not get a ton of carries in KC, but I still think this team could go a long way.

Daisy. Daisy doesn’t belong in Smash (yeah, I said it Andy), and Arielle doesn’t belong in the league

2. Team Mar

The squad from the 845 is looking very strong. Two superstar WR’s in Alshon Jeffrey and Keenan Allen, a perennial MVP candidate in Matt Ryan, and two top 5 caliber RB’s in Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey? I have no idea how this roster is even possible.

Mashed Potato: Joker.  I honestly know nothing about you, just like I know nothing about this anime (?) character who is in Super Smash Brothers. His name is Joker but he’s clearly not from Gotham and your instagram handle is Marisa845 and you’re clearly not from the 845 otherwise Bowers would’ve remembered seeing you at South. He knows everyone who went to South.

1. Venice Beach Hulkamaniacks 

Now here’s a team of people I recognize. A.J. Green? Trey Burton? Melvin Gordon? Shady McCoy? DION LEWIS? I honestly don’t see how things could possibly go wrong with that kind of talent. This team shouldn’t lose a single game. And there you have it. Hopefully by next week, I will have learned a little bit about the modern NFL and can take a better stab at these, but hopefully this helps get you excited for another great season of the NATIONAL! FOOTBALL! LEAGUE! Back to you Boom.

Smash Boo: King Dedede. The people’s champ. The Penguin with the Hammer.  Just like Kirby, King Dedede can suck in opponents.  Just like Bowers, if those opponents taste like carbs, he will not swallow them. King Dedede has an unrelenting hammer akin to Bowers’ unrelenting trade offers for LeShady McCoy, and had this other game where he got swol af just like Bowers is gonna be at the end of his journey. At least his 12 week journey has seen results. 

Also, I’m genuinely unsure if Bowers wrote this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jibCSdZ8xG0 

73. Andy Brown

A late addition that we had to shoehorn in here even though they don’t belong in the Power Rankings.