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toomanystoriessolittletime · 1 month ago

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Lights, Camera, Colombia

💫 Chapter One 💫

Summary: Ten years after he quit the DEA Javi gets approached by a production company, asking if he would like to be involved in the production of a documentary about Pablo Escobar and the drug war. When he agrees, he meets you, one of the producers of the documentary and the woman who he will spend the next months working with on the documentary and travel back to Colombia, the woman who will get to know about the side of him that he never wants anyone to see, the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Chapter Summary: Javi and you finally meet when you pick him up at the airport in Colombia and you get to know each other. And oh boy you just know the next couple of weeks are gonna be trouble....

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem. reader

Wordcount: 7.4k

Rating: T (for some flirting)

Warnings: angst, fluff, a look into Javi’s head, Javi's anxiety, food mentions, flirting so much flirting

A/N: I am so excited to finally get the first full chapter out! I tried to do as much research as possible but we all know this is fictional so just roll with it lol

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Full Masterlist // Javier Peña Masterlist // Lights, Camera, Colombia Masterlist

Flying was not something Javier particularly enjoyed.

It wasn’t even the flying part about it, but all the rest. And most of it, the waiting. He hated to sit around and just do…. Nothing. Hell, he even brought a book with him that he attempted to read on the layover in Houston. Instead he went to the bar to have a beer.

He had been okay in the planing of this trip to Colombia. He had checked in with you, made a couple of suggestions, even though what you had planned out was already close to perfect.

The two of you had talked quite a lot through email and through phone to get to know each other a little before spending so much time one on one.

He knew a little about your family and that you had been working with TC production for a little over five years now. The last documentary you had worked on had won a couple of awards and after finding out about that Javier had asked you to send a copy of it to him so he could watch it.

And you did.

It was a documentary about how the drug war affected the whole of the United States.

And Javi had loved the way it was put together. He could only hope that this one would be just as good.

He knew that you already had been in Colombia for the last couple of days to prepare. It was quite the schedule you worked out, but you always left enough time to relax for a day or two before moving on to the next location to shoot.

Only last week you had gotten the confirmation that you’d be able to shoot in what was left of La Cathedral, which apparently had been bought by a benedictine order to be turned into an actual cathedral with time. And you’d also be going to Hacienda Napoles. Something he found himself excited about, since he didn’t have the chance to go there back then.

Yet overall what he felt about going back to Colombia was anxiety.

In the week leading up to his flight even his nightmares returned. He had to schedule an extra appointment with Margery and she taught him some breathing exercises to calm himself down. Sure, he could have taken anxiety meds, but there were better times to start looking into that then when he was about to leave the country for six weeks.

And so he took those breathing exercises and a big glass of whiskey instead of anxiety meds. A combination that would hopefully get him over the next couple of weeks.

His CIA contact had informed him that he indeed was still on some kill lists in Colombia. But he was told not to be too concerned, the cartels had other issues to figure out at the moment. That, and he was traveling under a wrong name.

Also set up by his CIA contact.

Maybe if he hadn’t been a mess back then (well… he is still kind of a mess) things with Heather, the CIA contact, could have worked out. She was pretty, super intelligent and had a killer smile. They had met shortly after he came back from Colombia and had to get to one last DEA hearing where she was sitting in.

It was a short but intense fling they had. And thankfully they parted ways as friends which was why he could reach out to her for a favour like this.

She also took care of the gun permit for the journey for both him and you.

„Flight 405 to Bogota, Colombia is now ready for boarding. Please proceed to your gate“

He took a deep breath before he emptied his glass of beer. Closing his eyes he counted down from ten as he took some deep breaths, before he grabbed his backpack and walked out of the airport bar and towards his gate.

He gave the flight attendant a small smile, her cheeks flushing as she handed him back his boarding pass before he proceeded down towards the plane, pleasantly surprised that he would fly first class.

Not that he had much from it.

He was asleep before the plane was even up in the air.

Maybe the next time you were considering a new project it should be somewhere more up north. Like…. Canada or…. The north pole.

You had been in Colombia for four days and even though people around you were telling you that this weather was completely normal and actually quite cold for the season, you were sweating like crazy from the moment you got out of bed. The humidity was not something you were used to or fond of.

You were more of a rainy day under a blanket type of girl.

Though you could admit that there were worse ways to spend a sunset than on a hotel balcony facing the ocean with a glass of white wine while only wearing your underwear.

You had spend the day meeting up with the film crew who would already be busy tomorrow with scenery footage and interviewing some of the locals while you would go to the airport to pick up Javier. He had told you he could rent a car but you had waved him off, telling him that you had to get used to driving in this city anyway.

If you were honest with yourself, you were excited to meet him.

You had talked quite a lot in the last weeks and you got to know him a little. He had opened up a little about how Colombia had changed him and that while part of him was looking forward to see how the country changed, there was also the lingering anxiety about what had went down there all those years ago.

You were pretty sure that only a fraction of the things that happened while they were working in Colombia had been made available to the rest of the world and you hoped that you would learn a little more. Sure, there would be things he could not talk about but the journalist in you wanted to at least try to get something new out of him.

And, of course, you knew that he was an attractive man.

Even if he aged very poorly, which you don’t think he did, you did see the ID of his DEA badge and ID that he sent to you via mail, he would still be just your type.

Something you hoped would not disturb your work.

Then again, a little flirting never hurt nobody, right?

But you were going to far ahead. You hadn’t even met in person yet and here you were already flirting with him in your mind.

You sighed, watching the sun disappear into the ocean.

In four days you would take him to the old search bloc building and after that to one of the drug labs that he had taken down that was now a restaurant.

You had high hopes for the next weeks and you were excited to start working.

His plane had touched down almost 45 minutes ago and you were growing a little anxious. You hoped that there were no issues with him traveling under a cover name or with his gun.

You were pleasantly surprised that the permits had been dealt with so quickly.

Just as surprised as when you learned that he was still on four kill lists from new cartels that had formed in the wake of Escobars death and the downfall of the Cali cartel.

You hadn’t told Javier yet that depending on how good this documentary did, you might get the chance to do one on the Cali cartel too.

But that was not something you were concerning yourself about now.

There would be a time for that in the future.

Now, you were excited and a little anxious as you waited for Javier to walk out of baggage claim.

And you didn’t have to wait for that much longer, the doors opening and there he was in the flesh.

Carrying a big brown suitcase in his left hand, his eyes hidden behind some dark sunglasses as he walked out. Since he didn’t know what you looked like, it gave you some time to take him in. He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome and if you thought yesterday that he could become a problem, you were now downright fucked.

There was the hint of grey in his otherwise dark brown temples, his moustache trimmed to perfection. Dark, full brown hair that looked perfectly messy, as if he walked right out of a photoshoot. His pants were tight, his baby blue dress shirt, the first couple buttons open and revelling his chest, tucked into his jeans, a leather jacket covering his broad shoulders.

If he was only half as a flirt now as he was back when he was working here, things were going to be interesting in the next couple weeks. He came to a stop, taking his glasses of and let his gaze wander through the crowd, most likely trying to find you.

You took a deep breath, suddenly not the humidity being at fault for making you sweaty.

„Javier?“ You asked as you walked towards him, his head turning as he heard you, a small smile sneaking to his lips as he said your name.

„Yeah, that’s me,“ you couldn’t help but grin, stopping when you were in front of him, holding your hand out for him to shake.

He took it, his hand enveloping yours completely as he shook it and you gulped.

„It’s so nice to finally meet you in person,“ you said.

Going through security was surprisingly easy considering he was traveling under a false name. They checked the documents, asked what he was doing here and how long he would be staying and if he had a ticket for his return flight.

The long part was waiting for his suitcase. It gave him time to get to the restroom to pee and then throw some cold water into his face after he looked at himself in the mirror.

He really was back in Colombia.

Giving himself twenty seconds to freak out about it, he threw another hand of cold water into his face before he used a shitty paper towel to dry himself up. Walking out to the baggage carousel the suitcases were finally getting thrown out, yet it took another ten minutes for his to make an appearance.

With his backpack over his shoulder and his suitcase in his hand he finally made his way out onto Colombian ground. The airport looked a little different from how it did the last time he was here.

Apparently Starbucks had also finally made its way to Colombia. Something he found quite weird with how good the local coffee was.

He was still wondering about that, when he took his sunglasses off to let his gaze wander over the people who were waiting. He never saw a picture of you so he had no idea what you looked like.

Yet for some reason pretty came to his mind when he thought of you. Even though he only knew your voice.

He heard his name being called from his left side and he turned his head just in time to see a woman approach him.

You.

He said your name and you smiled and fuck if he thought you were pretty, actually seeing you with his own eyes and seeing how pretty you were? Well, fuck.

He took your hand, shaking it once, seeing your smile light up your whole face.

„It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!“ You said and he nodded.

„Likewise,“ he said, cringing internally. Likewise? Really Javier?

„Was your flight okay? I had the worst turbulences on my way here. Almost kissed the ground when I made it out of the plane,“ you joked and he smiled.

„I slept all the way through. I think the realisation that this was really happening caught up with me there,“ he said, nervously rubbing his hand over his neck.

„I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. Only reading about everything that happened and knowing that you were there for almost everything? Unbelievable,“ you said in awe and he was sure he was blushing.

„Yeah. The last time I’ve been to this airport I had just been fired,“ he snorted and you huffed a laugh, starring at him.

„Are you ready to get to the hotel?“ You asked him and he found himself nodding.

„Follow me,“ you said and turned around and Javier found himself falling into step next to you as you led him out of the airport.

„The car rental gave me a super tiny car but I am supposed to get a new one tomorrow. So…. I hope you fit into the seat,“ you joked and he found himself grinning.

„I am sure I’ll make it,“ he said, winking at you as you looked up at him.

He caught himself looking over his shoulder, seizing up every person around him, looking for a potential threat. He felt his hands getting sweaty and he reached for his sunglasses, putting them back on his nose while he took a calming breath.

For the first time in a long time he felt the need for a cigarette.

The humidity outside was like running against a wall as they made it out of the airport building. You slowed your steps, noticing Javier was looking around, his sunglasses back on his nose.

„It looks different,“ he said after a moment, looking back at you.

„Yeah?“ You asked and he nodded.

„Also feels fucking different,“ he chuckled a little uneasy, trying to work through his anxiety. It had been a long time since he felt like this. You gave him a small smile, fighting down the urge to take his hand or touch him, feeling like you wanted to comfort him.

„We’re almost there. I hope you like the hotel. It just opened this year,“ you said as you stepped inside the car park, leaving Javier to feel like he could finally take a breather, a lot less people now around him.

„I’m sure it will be fine. As long as I get a bed and a beer I am happy,“ he said, adding „I think I underestimated how being back here would have me on edge.“

You stopped walking and looked at him.

„If at any point it gets to much, please tell me. I know you said you’d be fine, but being back here must be a lot for you. I’d never judge you if you ask for a break or even stopping this whole thing. I don’t want this documentary and being back here to be a reason that you end up hurt in any way, okay?“ You asked.

He took a deep breath after he listened to you, exhaling with a sigh.

„I’ll be fine,“ he said and you narrowed your eyes and he found himself smiling.

„I’ll tell you if anything gets too much, I promise,“ he added and your eyes softened, before you nodded and turned away from him to continue to lead him to the rental car.

And if Javier found himself checking out how great your ass looked in the jeans shorts you were wearing? Well he had to get the thoughts in his head to focus on something else than being back in Colombia now, right?

The drive towards the hotel was quiet.

Javier was busy looking around and noticing all the changes in the city and you were busy, well, driving.

It’s not like you can’t drive. But with living in New York City you don’t get to do it much and definitely not with being yelled at in a language you understand but never felt really confident to speak.

Javier on the other hand was surprised how much he recognised as you drove. Then again he did spend many years driving these streets. There was something different though. There were a lot more people out on the street. No buildings were damaged from gun holes or explosions.

It seemed…. Happier. Brighter.

„The hotel is actually on the ground where the old embassy building was,“ he heard you say and was reminded that he wasn’t alone. He had completely zoned out.

He looked at you, seeing how you were gripping the steering wheel tightly, muscle tensed. There was sweat running down your temples even though the A/C of the car was running on full speed.

He got the impression that driving was not your most favourite and he made a mental note to ask and offer to drive himself later on.

„They relocated the embassy?“ He asked and you nodded, changing the lane, blinker set to drive to the right.

„They didn’t need a big building like that anymore and they wanted higher security, so they moved to a new build building around twenty minutes from here,“ you explained, releasing a sigh of relief as you finally saw the hotel right at the end of the street.

Javi on the other hand was impressed by the big building in front of him that had no resemblance to the office building he had spend countless hours chasing after cartels and making numerous, oftentimes questionable decisions.

The whole area around where he used to spend his everyday life for years was completely transformed, nothing reminding him of the familiarity he felt walking these streets everyday. The café he used to get his coffee from was gone, replaced by a flower shop. The little empanada shop he used to get 80% of his dinners from gone, the whole building transformed into what looked like apartments.

There were big trees lining up the street.

If Javier didn’t know that he had been driving this street daily for two years he would never think this was the same place.

You drove around the hotel and down the street until the car stopped in front of the entrance. You turned of the engine and let your head fall back against the headrest, closing your eyes as you released a long breath.

„Not the biggest fan of driving?“ Javier asked softly. You shook your head.

„Not the biggest fan of driving,“ you said, before you looked at him with an exhausted smile.

„I’m sure you want to freshen up and relax. I made a reservation at the hotel restaurant for later today so we can talk through some of the things I have planned for this week. But we only start the day after tomorrow, so… there’s no rush, okay?“ You said and he nodded at you.

„Great,“ you nodded back before you took a deep breath and got out of the car. Javier did the same, walking towards the trunk to retrieve his suitcase and backpack. Before that though, he took his leather jacket off, the heat outside being really unbearable.

Was this the climate change bullshit he had read about? He didn’t remember it being that fucking hot in this country apart from the time he was forced to spend time with Stechner in the jungle.

You on the other hand schooled your face into what hoped look like expressionless once he was out of his jacket. It definitely wasn’t the jacket that made him broader, it was just… him.

You turned towards the hotel and the valet who thankfully would park the car for you before Javier could catch you starring. You were still mezermermised by the foyer of the hotel, a chandelier that was bigger as the car that you had just driven hanging over the desk, hundreds of lightbulbs artfully arranged.

You smiled at the woman behind the desk, having talked to her for a while the day before to get some recommendations for restaurants and bars in the closer area. You more felt that saw Javier as he followed you, a shiver running up your spine, the hairs on your neck standing up.

It was like you could feel his eyes on you and you fought the urge to turn around to confirm it for yourself.

In broken Spanish you asked for the keys to yours and Javier’s room and she gave them to you with a kind smile. Turning around you indeed caught Javier starring at you, sunglasses back in his chest pocket, eyes snapping up from what you were sure was your ass as he looked at you.

„You got the room next to mine. Both are facing towards the ocean more or less,“ you said, handing him the key to his room and he nodded.

The elevator ride up to your floor was a quiet one, both of you in your thoughts, the ding of the elevator arriving making you jump. You glanced up at him, finding him already looking at him before he stepped out and walked down the floor, you following him.

„I made the reservation for 7pm, is that okay?“ You asked.

„Perfect. I hope they got some good tamales. Otherwise we have to check if the place Steve and I used to get ours is still there in the next days,“ he said and you smiled a little, nodding.

„I would love that,“ you said, stopping front of your room.

„I’ll see you later?“ You asked, Javier nodded.

„If you need anything, just call or knock. I’ll be researching for another project, so I’ll be awake,“ you said, opening your hotel door and looking at him.

He just nodded again, giving you a small smile as he walked past your room and towards his own. You took a step inside, letting your head rest against the door as you heard a click when his door closed.

Yeah.

You were in trouble now.

Even though he had slept through the flight, the moment he got out of the shower in his hotel room he fell asleep again. And surprisingly he hadn’t dreamed of anything. It was just a blissful two hour long nap he woke up from once he got cold, having fallen asleep with just a towel around his hips.

With a groan he turned on his back, staring at the ceiling.

If he felt anxiety about being here when he first got here this morning, his feelings now where…. Different. He just didn’t know how exactly yet.

Then again he didn’t know how he felt most days. Now only the added confusion about being back in a place that plagued his nightmares came on top of it.

And then there was you.

When he talked to you on the phone leading up to this stay in Colombia he felt himself more and more looking forward to talking to you. The phone calls to you being the highlight of his day. He found himself thinking about what you were doing through certain times in the day and he questioned if he could be attracted to someone he had never met before.

But then today you had met and fuck if Javier thought he was in trouble on the phone with you, right now, knowing you were just on the other side of the wall of his hotel room was a whole different story.

You were beautiful.

In every single way possible and he had only spend an hour with you. Part of him was scared to find out what would happened once you spend every single day with each other, but there was also a part of him, a part he forgot existed, that was excited.

Excited to get to experience this new version of Colombia with you.

Excited to get to know you.

He took a look at the clock on his bedside table, realising it was later than he thought. And maybe he spent a little more time getting ready, before he made his way towards your room to pick you up for dinner.

You on the other hand did everything but research the project you had planned. Almost immediately after you took your shower you had called your friend in the states who knew about the documentary and about how much you already had started to like Javier during your phone calls.

But now?

Holy crap this would either be a very long and exhausting six weeks or this would be the best six weeks of your life. And you needed to let all these thoughts out before you were going out with Javier to dinner.

No. Not going out.

This was just a work dinner.

A meeting.

Going out sounded too much like a date, which it definitely wasn’t.

Which is why you did not wear the little black dress that had somehow made its way into your suitcase. You chose the light green summer dress that made your ass look great instead.

And if you spent more time on your make up and hair?

Well you were going out to a four star restaurant. That’s why you did it.

And you really didn’t do it for the look in Javier’s eyes as you opened the door, ready to join him for dinner.

You sat outside in the lush parklike garden of the hotel, enjoying the last hues of the sun warming your skin. All the way from your hotel room, throughout the lobby and into the restaurant you could feel Javier’s warmth next to you.

You didn’t know his hand had been hovering behind you all the way,

Now you were sitting across from each other, both trying desperately not to ogle each other while waiting for the drinks you had ordered and reading through the menu.

You had ordered a glass of white wine and Javier a glass of whiskey.

„The menu sounds good,“ he said finally and you looked up at him, his eyes still reading the menu.

„Yeah? I don’t think I ever had any of this except the salad,“ you said, pursing your lips.

„Really?“ He asked and you nodded.

„Even though I travel a lot for work I keep eating what I know like a true American tourist,“ you cringed and he chuckled.

„I could order for you? I know my way around the local cuisine. Or at least I did,“ he offered and you set the menu down with a smile.

„I would love that,“ you said, leaning back in your chair. He gave you a small smile before he continued to read through the menu.

„Any allergies?“ he asked.

„None that I know of,“ you said and he nodded.

You used the time the waiter took to get your drinks to look around the beautiful property, your eyes seemingly always landing back on Javier as he still read through the menu.

He had changed into a simple white polo shirt and some black jeans. You knew he must have showered, his aftershave filling the whole elevator cabin, making you positively dizzy. He smelled like he looked, sexy and a little dangerous.

„You sure?“ He asked once the waiter brought your drinks and you just nodded, listening to him as he ordered for the both of you.

Waiting until the waiter had everything written down and taken the menu’s back with him you reached for your glass of wine, bringing it up to smell it, closing your eyes.

You may not know your way around food, but wine? Yeah. You knew enough.

„Can’t believe what this place turned into,“ Javier said after a while and you looked at him as he looked around.

„In my research I learned that the old building had so much asbestos in the basement, that the renovation would have cost more than just to tore it down. That’s probably why the hotel chain got the property pretty cheap. And the location is really great. I walked toward the presidential palace earlier this week, it was so close,“ you smiled, finally taking the first sip of your wine.

„I had a lot of meetings in there,“ he sighed and you tilted your head in interest.

„What if I said we’re going in there next week?“ You pursed your lips and he raised both eyebrows.

„Really?“ He asked and you nodded.

„I haven’t told you yet but I do have some meet ups arranged throughout our time with people you have worked together. And from what I gathered from talking to them before hand you were all friendly with each other,“ you explained and he narrowed his eyes.

„I didn’t make any friends here,“ he said slowly.

„Now I know that that isn’t true. Steve Murphy and you seemed like friends,“ you said and he rolled his eyes, picking up his drink.

„He’s a fucking pain in my ass, that’s what he is,“ he snorted before he drank from his glass.

You chuckled.

„I bet the two of you were nothing but trouble working together. From what I gathered from our phone calls….“

„Honestly, and don’t tell him that. He was the best partner I could wish for out here. We went through a lot of shit out here. But he always had my back, even when I fucked up. And I really fucked up,“ he sighed.

„What did you do?“ You whispered and he looked at you, setting his glass down.

„I’m afraid, that’s classified,“ he winked and you laughed.

„Of course it is. I hope I can get some insider scoop out of your on our little journey through the drug history of this country,“ you said and he hummed, lips twitching into a grin.

„Guess you have to find a way to get your inside scoop out of me,“ he winked.

„Oh I have my ways, Agent Peña, don’t you worry,“ you winked back before you both laughed.

„We’re gonna start with you showing me your favourite places, or what’s left of them,“ you explained after you had the best empanadas you ever tasted as a first course. Javier, or Javi as he told you repeatedly to call him, told you a little about the work he was doing now, working as a consultant for the DEA in San Antonio.

He also told you he kind of hated his job, but had been doing it all his life and didn’t really know what else he could be doing instead.

„I’ve been working on movies all my life really,“ you said with a shrug after he asked how you got into your job.

„Really?“ He asked with a grin, you nodded.

„First movie I made was to blackmail my sister after I found her kissing Jimmy Miller in our garden when our mom was getting groceries,“ you said proudly and Javier laughed with a shake of his head.

„Remind me to never get on your bad side,“ he chuckled.

„It was her fault really, she broke my favourite toy,“ you chuckled too.

„God, sometimes I’m really glad I don’t have any terrorising little siblings,“ he sighs, still smiling.

„None?“ You asked, and he shook his head.

„I was a miracle baby more or less. Mama tried for a while to get pregnant and once the doctors said it was better to stop, boom, I happened. But she was already in her mid thirties which back then was… ancient to become a mother so both her and papa decided I was enough,“ he explained.

„Well, you haven’t missed anything without siblings. They’re kind of annoying, honestly,“ you say.

„You and your sister not on the best terms?“ He asked and you sighed.

„I wouldn’t say we’re on bad terms but… she’s the poster child. She went to college, married her high school love and had a baby. And because of all of that she sometimes does this thing where she tries to tell me how my life should be going. Because that’s what’s expected, right? You get married, you have the child, or children, and you life happily ever after while your husband brings home the money so you can have your picture perfect life, right?“

„If that makes someone happy, sure,“ Javi shrugged.

„Exactly. If that makes someone happy, they should do it. But I am not like that. I love my job. And if I end up falling in love and having kids, that man would have to deal with that. Cause I can’t see myself quitting my job go become a housewife,“

„I think I could become a stay at home man,“ Javi mused and you were so stunned after your little rant you could do nothing but laugh, enjoying the way the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at you.

„What? Don’t I seem like the type to stay at home, take care of the house, maybe the kids? All of that of course only after I trick someone into marrying me,“ he joked and you smiled softly.

„I think you’d make a great stay at home husband for a very lucky lady some day. Or man. Whatever you’re into,“ you added quickly and he laughed.

„Woman. Just women,“ he clarified quickly and you raised one eyebrow.

„Really?“ You asked and his eyes narrowed.

„What’s that tone supposed to mean?“ He wanted to know and you just hummed.

„Nothing… Just…. Surprising. I would have bet you’re into men too,“ you shrugged, and he pursed his lips, bringing one of his hands up, his fingers rubbing over his perfectly groomed moustache.

„Are you?“ He asked.

„Into men? Oh yeah,“ you winked and he huffed a laugh before he shook his head.

„Into women,“ he clarified.

„I think so. Like, I’ve never been with one, but if I end up meeting a woman and fall in love with her? Who am I to run away from that?“ You asked and he hummed.

The waiter came and took your empty dishes, informing you that the main course would be served in a couple of minutes.

„Do you…. Do you have someone at home waiting for you?“ Javier asked and you couldn’t help but smile.

„I do,“ you said seriously and you might have imagined it, but Javier’s face fell for a moment.

„His name is King George and he’s currently staying with my best friend,“ you said, his face changing into confusion.

„He’s my cat,“ you clarified and Javier released a breath he was holding in a chuckle.

„So no. No one waiting for me at home Javi,“ you smiled, „What about you?“

„No,“ he shook his head, „I think I have some issues letting people in,“ he confessed, eyes widening as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

„But that’s not something I should talk about with anyone else than my therapist or my fictional future wife with,“ he added and you smiled softly.

„It’s okay. I have the same problem. When you’ve been on your own for so long, it’s hard to do this step of letting someone in. Not just in your head and heart. But in all your routines, your house, your life, your family. It’s….. The person has to be worth it,“ you said and he nodded.

„Yeah, It’s…. It’s sometimes easier being alone than opening up to someone only to get hurt in the long run, a sentence no one at home would believe I just said,“ he chuckled to himself, picking up his drink.

„Well I get what you mean. I rather be happy alone, than miserable in a relationship. Though I have to admit there are some things I miss about it,“ you hummed, resting your arm on the table.

„Like what?“ Javi asks, interested.

You hummed.

„I miss cooking for someone. Which sounds dumb, but cooking for yourself feels like a chore. If I get to do it for someone else? Well that’s something else entirely,“ you said and Javier smiled a little.

„Yeah. I hate eating fucking microwave dinners on the couch by myself,“ he said and you chuckled.

„Exactly. Like…. I am good most times, I am happy with how my life is. I just ask myself sometimes if there’s more? Like am I going to stay alone until the day I die or is someone out there who can handle my crazy ass?“ You asked and he hummed.

„You don’t seem so crazy to me,“ he said with a small grin and you raised one of your eyebrows, challenging.

„You’ve meet me what? Six hours ago? Give it time,“ you nodded with confidence.

„I’ve known you for a couple of weeks and from what I know? I think you’re an intelligent woman that loves her job and is good at it. You’re funny and between us, you’re fucking sexy as hell,“ he said like it was the most obvious think while your eyes widened, warmth spreading over your cheeks.

You were trying to come up with a response to his words when the waiter approached, serving the main courses. Javier winked at you and you suddenly felt so hot, you were sure he could see it.

You took a deep breath, reaching for your glass of water to take some sips.

„This looks good,“ you finally said, picking up your fork.

„Yeah,“ Javi said, eyes still on you with a look you couldn’t quite place.

„Shall we eat?“ You asked and he nodded before he picked up his fork too.

You continued to talk all throughout your dinner, though you made an effort to talk more about the trip and less about your personal lives. You were not sure why, but you felt way to comfortable with Javi and opening up to him about your life.

Not that this was bad, you just didn’t want to dump everything on him. This was a job and once this was finished you would most likely never see him again. You would move on to other projects while he moved on doing god knows what.

Sighing you picked up you new drink, looking up into the by now dark night sky, Javier having left to look for the restroom some time ago.

Why were you freaking out right now?

This was a dinner. Technically a dinner with a client.

A very attractive client who kept looking at you with his big brown eyes that seemed to hold so much longing and hurt in them that you felt like you wanted to hug him and never let go of him.

There was so much more to Javier Peña that you thought in the beginning. From interviewing people in preparation for the documentary the people seem to respect him for the work he had done and was still doing, but were judging him harshly for everything else he did. Be it how he got the work done or how he spent his private life.

More than once you had heard the word manwhore when talking about him and frankly?

If you would look like him, you would be one too.

„Penny for your thoughts,“ you jumped when you heard his voice behind you, a plate of what looked like cake in his hand that he set down in front of you.

„What’s that?“ You chose to ignore his questions as he sat down across from you.

„This is Postre de natas. It’s a kind of milk pudding and it’s maybe my most favourite dessert on this planet,“ he said and you nodded.

„Where is yours then?“ You picked up your spoon.

„It was the last one, you should have it," he said with a warm smile and you found yourself smiling back.

„That’s… That’s very sweet Javi," you said softly before you brought the spoon to your lips, eyes widened when the sweetness exploded in your mouth.

„Oh this is fucking delicious,“ you hummed happily, loving the was Javi’s eyes lit up as he smiled at you. You ate almost half of it, before you sat your spoon down and pushed the plate towards him.

„You take the rest, or I will have a sugar shock that won’t let me sleep,“ you joked and he laughed quietly before he started to eat, a long moan escaping his lips as he tasted the first spoon.

He closed his eyes in complete bliss while you schooled your whole demeanour to not react to how watching Javier eat his dessert felt like watching porn.

He licked his lips, humming to himself, sighing at every taste.

„I feel like I should give you two some privacy,“ you finally found the words to tease him and his eyes dropped open, looking at you before you saw his cheeks flush a little.

„I would say I’m sorry, but I’m really not. This might be the closest I got to having sex in a long time,“ he said, chuckling and your eyes widened, before you laughed.

„Guess I gotta find myself a desert that’s that good, huh?“ You joked and he licked his lips, having finished the dessert.

„Or someone to have sex with,“ he shrugged and you rolled your eyes.

"Like it’s that easy,“ you said and he pursed his lips, eyes playful.

„The guy at the bar has been eyefucking you all night,“ he said and you were about to turn your head to look when he stopped you.

„Don’t look. He’s not worth your time,“ he said and you titled your head.

„And how do you know that?“ You asked and he smirked.

„Saw his dick in the bathroom, he was next to me. Trust me, he is not worth it,“ he said seriously and your lips parted in shock before you giggled.

„Oh my god,“ you shook your head and he grinned.

„This is the weirdest business dinner I’ve ever had in my life,“ you still laughed, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes.

„Well this has been the best dinner I’ve had since I can remember, so thank you for that,“ he said and your smile at him softened.

The waiter approached, asking if you wanted to order anything else but you shook your head, much like Javi before you asked him to bill the dinner to your room.

Both Javi and you emptied your drinks before you both decided it was time to head back to your rooms.

You walked through the restaurant back towards the elevators, walking close by each other. You couldn’t help sucking your lip in to hide your laughter when you past the man Javi had talked about sitting at the bar, nodding at you with a grin.

Even if he was attractive, all you could think about was what Javier had said about him and you had a hard time not bursting out in giggles all the way to the elevators. When you risked a glance at Javier he was grinning too and you both chuckled as the elevator door opened. He waited for you to step in, following you, standing beside you as you pressed the button to the floor.

You didn’t know if it was seeing the guy, being so close to Javi or the three drinks you had but you found yourself asking „So if he’s not worth my time, how do you compare to him?“��

You saw him suck his bottom lip between his teeth, before his tongue dared out to lick over his bottom lip.

He was about to answer when the elevator doors opened, having reached your floor. This time he put his hand on your lower back as he led you out of the elevator, slowly walking up the hallway towards your room.

You were already fiddling with your key when he stopped in front of your hotel room door.

„I’e be definitely worth your time,“ he finally said and you looked up at him.

„Yeah?“ You asked, voice just above a whisper. He nodded.

„And not just because my dick is bigger than his,“ he said, before he slowly leaned down to kiss your forehead. Your eyes widened, processing his words as he reached for your room key, unlocking the door for you.

„I’ll see you at breakfast?“ He asked and you dumbly nodded, before you slowly walked into your room.

„Sweet dreams," he winked as he pulled your door closed and only then did you realise that you had held your breath.

„I am in so much fucking trouble,“ you mumbled to yourself with disbelieving laugh, looking forward to what the next few weeks would bring.

next chapter

Taglist (please send me an ask if you want to be added to the LCC Taglist, I only have a taglist for this series, not for all of my works)

@pasc4lfuzz// @kirsteng42 // @imdreaminghere // @greenwitchfromthewoods // @theorganasolo // @inept-the-magnificent // @maried01 // @nationallampoonlemmings // @sunnytuliptime// @desuidesu // @galway-girlatwork // @missladym1981 // @bergamote-catsandbooks

#lcc series #my fic #Javier Peña #Javier Peña x fem. reader #Pedro Pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #narcos fanfiction

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xoxorealitygalore · 3 months ago

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Plan B 5

Jey Uso x Afro-Brazilian OC

Summary: In her thirties and single after a breakup, Hamisa decides she wants to become a mother, despite her friends' and family's objections. Unable to wait any longer, she chooses to have a baby on her own. However, she unknowingly ends up using her ex-boyfriend sperm after he drunkenly swapped her donor’s sample for his own. As Hamisa raises her child, she starts noticing striking similarities between her ex-boyfriend and her baby, leading to questions about the true origins of her child's conception.

Plan B Masterlist

Taglist: @xbriexx @christinabae @blackchickinthedesert @princess-saki1 @skyesthebomb @raya-hunter01 @theusotwinzcom @yana3sworld @mindairy

Liked by belmirawoo, itsmebayley, uceyjucey, and 4,783,913 others

hamisawoo Another year older, another year bolder. Being born on Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love, not only for others but for the most important person in my life: myself, fills me with so much joy and gratitude. Reflecting on the journey so far, I’m overwhelmed with appreciation for all the lessons, challenges, growth, and amazing souls I’ve encountered along the way. Life truly has a way of surprising you, and this past year has been a testament to that. Every high, every low, every twist and turn has been a stepping stone that’s led me closer to my true purpose. I’m more excited than ever for the adventure that lies ahead.

This birthday feels different, more special than ever. It's a reminder of how far I’ve come, of how much strength I’ve gained, how much wisdom I’ve acquired, and how much more there is to learn and explore. 36 feels like the perfect mix of reflection and anticipation. It’s a time to look back and appreciate the journey so far, but also to look ahead with hope, confidence, and excitement. Life continues to unfold in beautiful, unexpected ways, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

Here’s to continuing to chase my dreams, to stepping outside of my comfort zone, to being bold and unapologetic in my pursuit of happiness, and to embracing every single moment with open arms. I’ve learned that life is a series of beautiful moments, some easy, some challenging but all full of growth and love. Thank you to everyone who’s been a part of my journey so far, your love, your support, and your positive energy have made all the difference. I’m so grateful for each and every one of you.

Cheers to another year of growth, new experiences, and endless possibilities. Here’s to making 36 the best year yet and to living each day with purpose, passion, and love. 💖💫 #BirthdayVibes #ValentinesDay #36AndClimbing #GratefulHeart #AnotherYearWiser #NewBeginnings #LoveAndGrowth #EmbraceTheJourney

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Hamisa stirred in the bed, the quiet hum of the morning surrounding her as the first light of the day streamed softly through the sheer curtains. Her eyes, heavy with sleep, struggled to focus as her daughter, Jhream, crawled energetically all over her.

The room was bathed in a gentle, golden glow, the sun beginning its slow climb into the sky, illuminating the cozy space in soft warmth.

“Mama!” Jhream squealed, her little hands reaching up toward her mother’s face, the excited sound filling the room.

Hamisa couldn’t help but smile at the sheer joy that radiated from her daughter. Her giggles were infectious, lighting up the room in a way only a child could.

Hamisa rolled over with a soft, contented yawn, stretching her body beneath the weight of the comforter, her muscles still heavy with sleep. The past few weeks had been a blur, with travel, work, and the constant joy and challenge of motherhood.

But today was different. Today was her birthday and the first one she would celebrate with her daughter.

"Okay, Jhream, I’m up," Hamisa murmured, blinking slowly as her eyes adjusted to the bright morning light. Her voice was warm, still thick with sleep, but there was a lightness to it. A sense of happiness that came from the simple joy of being with her child.

The peacefulness of the morning was broken only by her daughter's playful squirming and gleeful laughter, but there was something comforting about it. The sound of a child who had no concept of time, no awareness of the rush of the world outside. For Hamisa, these small moments of chaos were a grounding force. They were a reminder of what mattered most.

She sat up, her muscles protesting but slowly coming to life as she cradled Jhream in her arms. The little girl’s hands clapped together in excitement, and her joyful babble filled the room, a melody of innocence and love.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jhream. And happy birthday to me,” Hamisa whispered, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s soft, chubby cheek.

Jhream responded with an excited squeal, her baby-like babble sweet and endearing, as though she were trying to mimic her mother’s words.

Hamisa’s heart swirled with emotion as she gazed down at the baby girl in her arms. The day held so much more significance now, with Jhream in her life. Not only was it a day to celebrate love, but it was also a day to celebrate herself and the new woman she had become after becoming a mother.

After a few moments, Hamisa stood, lifting Jhream gently in her arms as she began to prepare for the day ahead. She had work to do. SmackDown was in Washington, D.C. that evening, and she would be backstage interviewing the wrestlers. But it was also her birthday, and she was determined to find joy in the little moments before she had to work tonight.

The shower was next. Hamisa and Jhream hopped in, the warm water cascading over them as Hamisa hummed a soft tune, enjoying the warmth of the water and the peaceful rhythm of their morning routine.

The sound of the water mingled with Jhream’s laughter as she splashed in the tub, a reminder of how much she had grown since those early days of sleepless nights and endless feedings. Now, here they were, both together, in a place of calm after the whirlwind of the past few months.

Once they were both dressed, Hamisa chose a comfortable outfit for the day, a simple black shirt paired with leggings and white and black Nike high-tops. She wanted to be stylish but also practical, as her day would involve a lot of moving around, both for work and for the plans that Joshua had set for her birthday celebration.

Jhream, of course, was dressed in a similarly stylish outfit: black pants and a white shirt, paired with her own white and black Nike high-tops, matching her mother most sweetly. The two of them looked effortlessly coordinated, a picture of understated comfort as they prepared to step out into the world.

Hamisa carefully packed Jhream’s diaper bag, checking off the items she would need for the day like extra diapers, wipes, a change of clothes, and a few snacks to keep the little one happy throughout the morning. She grabbed her duffle bag with her essentials and made sure to grab the Nuna stroller and car seat for Jhream. With everything in place, they were ready to start their day.

The elevator ride down to the lobby was filled with the usual excitement of Jhream’s giggles and squeals as she explored the world around her. Hamisa glanced at her phone as they waited, checking the messages that had come in overnight.

Her friends and family had all been busy sending well wishes for her birthday, which was always special, especially since it fell on Valentine’s Day. It was a day that was shared by many, but the messages from those who truly cared made her feel special, made her feel seen.

As the elevator doors opened with a soft chime, they stepped into the lobby of the hotel. The energy of the morning seemed to be building as they made their way toward the exit, and that’s when Hamisa spotted Jon and Trinity standing before them, broad smiles stretched across their faces.

Jon immediately crouched down to tickle Jhream, causing the little girl to erupt into delighted giggles. Her laughter filled the air, a sound so pure and joyful that it seemed to lift the spirits of everyone in the lobby. Trinity smiled warmly at the energetic little one, waving at her excitedly as she bounced in her stroller.

“Happy birthday, Hamisa!” Jon and Trinity said in unison, their voices full of genuine excitement and joy.

“Thank you,” Hamisa said, her smile reaching her eyes as she greeted her friends. The warmth of their affection made her feel even more appreciated on her special day.

As they made their way toward the hotel entrance, Jon and Trinity revealed their plan for the morning. “We’re having a Valentine’s Day breakfast,” Jon announced, his voice filled with excitement.

Hamisa chuckled softly, shaking her head. “I don’t have anything planned. I was probably just going to walk around the city with Jhream before heading to the arena,” she replied, the idea of a quiet morning stroll appealing to her in its simplicity.

Jon grinned mischievously. “Well, that’s not all. You have a gift waiting for you,” he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Hamisa raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “How do you know that?” she asked, her tone playful. She hadn’t expected any surprises, but now, Jon had piqued her interest.

“Jhream told me,” Jon replied, his grin widening as he glanced down at the baby in the stroller.

Jhream, who seemed to be fully aware of the conversation happening around her, giggled in response, as though she were in on the secret. Hamisa couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of her daughter being involved in such a fun little conspiracy.

And then, just as they were about to exit the hotel, a familiar face appeared. Joshua walked toward them, carrying two beautiful bouquets of red roses in his hands. One bouquet was small, just the right size for Jhream to hold.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jhream,” Joshua said, his voice filled with affection. He presented the flowers to his daughter, who immediately let out a joyful cry, her little hands reaching for the roses.

“Dada! Dada!” Jhream cried out, her face lighting up with excitement at the sight of her father.

Joshua turned to Hamisa next, handing her the larger bouquet of roses with a soft smile. “Happy birthday, Hamisa, and Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, his voice sincere and affectionate.

Hamisa felt a wave of warmth wash over her as she took the flowers from him. “Thank you,” she replied, her voice soft but filled with gratitude. The bouquet was beautiful, and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture was something that made her feel deeply loved.

After Jon and Trinity said their goodbyes and went on their way, Joshua turned to Hamisa, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Come on, let’s go start your birthday slash Valentine’s celebration,” he said, his voice full of excitement.

Hamisa, now fully awake and eager to enjoy the day, looked up at him with curiosity. “Where are we going?” she asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“First breakfast, then your first birthday surprise,” Joshua answered with a wink as he took her hand.

Hamisa’s heart fluttered with anticipation. This was her day. Her birthday, her Valentine’s Day and she couldn’t wait to see what surprises lay ahead.

Joshua led them to his rental car, and as Hamisa looked him over, she noticed that they were matching with all three of them wearing simple outfits, completed by their white and black Nike high-tops. Hamisa shook her head, they always somehow ended up matching. Now everyone is going to think they planned to coordinate with each other.

Joshua placed Jhream’s car seat in the back of the car. Joshua made sure he secured the car seat and then got into the front seat while Hamisa climbed in next to him. He glanced over at Hamisa and smiled.

“Let’s go!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Jhream screamed in excitement from the backseat, clearly delighted by the prospect of the day ahead.

“She’s a mini-me for real,” Joshua said, smiling fondly at his daughter in the rearview mirror.

“She got nothing from me,” Hamisa teased, pretending to be sad.

“She got your hair,” Joshua pointed out with a chuckle.

Hamisa rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. The simple banter between them made her heart feel light, and as they drove to their breakfast destination, she realized just how much she had to be thankful for.

The car ride was filled with laughter and light-hearted conversation. Hamisa glanced at Joshua, watching the way his face softened as he glanced at Jhream through the rearview mirror. His love for their daughter was evident in every glance, in every smile, and in the way he spoke to her.

"Where are we going for breakfast?" Hamisa asked, her voice tinged with curiosity. She hadn’t expected to be swept into the excitement of the day so quickly, but now she found herself looking forward to every moment.

Joshua gave her a playful look, one that suggested he was relishing the mystery of the day. "You’ll see," he said with a wink, clearly enjoying the suspense.

The city of Washington, D.C. was still waking up, the streets quieter than usual as the early morning light began to illuminate the buildings, casting long shadows that slowly faded into the brightness of the day.

The car hummed along, and Hamisa felt a sense of calm settle over her. She’d never been one to make a big fuss over her birthday, but today felt different. It wasn’t about grand gestures or extravagant surprises. It was about sharing simple, meaningful moments with the people she loved most.

As they pulled into the parking lot of a charming little café, Hamisa’s eyes widened with surprise. The building, with its rustic exterior and large windows, had a cozy, welcoming vibe. It looked like the perfect place to spend a relaxed morning.

"Surprise," Joshua said, his voice soft and warm. "I thought this would be a good spot for a quiet breakfast with the two people I love the most."

Hamisa couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment. "It’s perfect," she replied, her heart swelling with gratitude. She knew that it wasn’t about the place or the food, but the thought and care behind it.

They got out of the car, and Joshua helped Hamisa with the stroller. Jhream, who had been giggling in the backseat, was now wide-eyed and curious as she gazed around, taking in the new sights. The little girl clapped her hands excitedly, her joyful energy filling the air once again.

Inside the café, the atmosphere was warm and intimate. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, mixing with the sweet scent of pastries and bread. The décor was simple but beautiful wooden tables, soft lighting, and plants hanging from the ceiling, giving the space a cozy, almost homey feel. It felt like a place where time slowed down, where you could just sit and enjoy the company of those around you.

Joshua led them to a corner table by the window, where the sunlight filtered through the glass, casting a soft glow on the table. Hamisa took a seat, settling Jhream into her lap, and Joshua sat across from them, his eyes gleaming with excitement as he watched Hamisa’s reaction to the surprise.

"I thought we could have a quiet morning," he said, his voice tender. "Just us three. A little break from the chaos of the world."

Hamisa nodded, her heart full. "I love it," she said, glancing out the window at the city beyond. "It’s exactly what I needed."

The waitress soon arrived, her smile warm and welcoming as she took their order. Hamisa, content at the moment, wasn’t in a rush. She had no reason to hurry as today was about the small moments that made life beautiful.

As they waited for their food, Joshua pulled out a small box from his bag. "Before breakfast," he said, holding it out to Hamisa, "I have something for you."

Hamisa raised an eyebrow, surprised by the gesture. "Joshua, you’ve already given me the roses…"

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. "This is just a little something to make your birthday extra special."

Hamisa opened the box, her breath catching when she saw what was inside. Nestled in the velvet lining was a delicate charm bracelet. It was gold links engraved with Jhream’s initials and charms, each one representing a piece of her. It was a beautiful and meaningful piece of jewelry that Hamisa could wear every day.

Tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at Joshua, her voice choked with emotion. "It’s perfect," she whispered. "I don’t know what to say."

"You don’t need to say anything," Joshua replied softly. "I just want you to know how much you mean to me. How much our little family means to me."

Hamisa’s heart swelled with love. The simple gesture, and the thoughtfulness behind it. It was perfect.

After a quiet, intimate breakfast, they headed to Hammer & Stain Rockville, a craft studio known for its unique, hands-on experiences. The space was alive with creative energy as all types of couples, families, and friends were gathered around tables, painting and creating their masterpieces.

The studio had a variety of activities, from pottery painting to personalized signs, and the air was filled with laughter and the soft hum of conversations.

Hamisa looked around, taking in the colorful displays of art and craft supplies. Joshua had arranged for them to create personalized items as a family, and it was the perfect way to spend time together on her special day.

They sat down at a table together, and Joshua set to work on a wooden sign, while Hamisa painted a small canvas, her brush strokes slow and thoughtful. Jhream, who was already entranced by the array of colors and textures, tried to grab the paintbrushes, giggling as she smeared a little bit of paint on her fingers.

"This is perfect," Hamisa said softly as she worked, glancing over at Joshua. "I love that we’re doing this together."

Joshua smiled, his expression soft and content. "Me too," he said. "Every little piece of our lives matters. Every moment we spend together is special."

As the afternoon drew on, they finished their projects and packed up their things, feeling proud of the small, beautiful creations they had made. The simplicity of the activity, the shared experience, was exactly what Hamisa had needed a reminder that love wasn’t always about grand gestures, but about the little moments that made life worth living.

By the time they headed back to the hotel to get ready for SmackDown, Hamisa felt more relaxed and content than she had in a long time. The day had been full of surprises, laughter, and connection. There had been no rush, no pressure. Just love. As they made their way back to the hotel, Hamisa couldn’t help but reflect on how lucky she was to have this life. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real, and it was hers.

Joshua helped her get Jhream ready for the trip to the arena. After a quick change and a few final preparations, they were ready to head out.

As they left the hotel, Joshua leaned over and kissed Hamisa on the cheek. "Thank you for being born today."

Hamisa smiled, her heart full. "Thank you for making my birthday and Valentine's Day so perfect," she replied.

They made their way to the car, ready to finish the day with the energy and excitement of SmackDown ahead.

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jakeyzzz · 7 months ago

Text

when the party‘s over

( fluff! ) jake x f!reader oneshot

masterlist!

warnings! - { mentions of drugs, smoking, alcohol, swearing, flirting, first kiss, making out, love at first sight trope, reader x brother‘s best friend }

not proofread!

2.4k words! 💫

첫눈에 반하다 …

Every single person who ever knew you knows exactly how much you hated parties.

Well, your parents were out of town and your brother was one of the most popular boys in school. He had a bunch of friends, and even more girls drooling over him. So he decided to throw a huge house party you were defnitely not going to join.

You groaned into your pillow in annoyance whenever someone tried to forcefully open your bedroom door for whatever reason.

But you were smart enough to lock it before the party had even started.

Your plan was to just stay in your room until the party is over. So you did your makeup, dressed up just for fun and had your own little party in your room.

Alone. Just how you liked it

You rolled your eyes when you looked outside your window, seeing a bunch of strangers dancing in your garden.

You watched them quietly for a few minutes before reaching for your water bottle, wanting to drink from it before realizing it was empty.

'' Fuck... '' You whispered to yourself. You let out a loud fake cry when you realized you needed to leave your room to get a new bottle of water. You weren't ready to see people making out in every corner of your house. Just the thought of it made you feel sick to your stomach. People were probably smoking, or even doing drugs. They were probably doing stuff in your parent's room as well...

God, If your parents knew about this they would freak out.

Your brother would be a dead man ... that's for sure

You sighed deeply before quickly opening your bedroom door, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes immediately hitting your nose. Just how you had expected it. You closed the door behind you before locking it again, preventing unwanted guests from entering your room. You hid the key in the plant next to your bedroom door, and slowly made your way downstairs.

The second you entered the kitchen you saw your brother having the time of his life. He was surrounded by a bunch of girls, and his seven stupidly handsome friends. You decided to just mind your own business until you felt someone tapping your shoulder. You turned around, immediately recognizing the girl in front of you. She squeals, looking at you with excitement in her eyes.

'' Tabitha ! What are you doing here ? I really thought you were better than this '' You whined, pulling your best friend into a hug.

'' I really needed a night out. I've had a really stressful week. Where have you been ? ''

You sighed. You've been in your kitchen for nearly 5 minutes and your head was already killing you. Too many people were smoking, and you couldn't stand the smell of it

'' I've been hiding in my room ... you know how much i hate parties. I just came downstairs to get some water ''

Tabitha rolled her eyes at you.

'' No. You look way too hot to be hiding in your room. So stop being boring and stay here with me. Let me get you a drink... ''

'' Please don't do this to me ''

'' Shut up '' She said, dragging you over to the kitchen counter where you could choose between a bunch of different drinks.

You took a red cup from the counter, and filled it with an orange substance that could probably give you a sugar shock if you had too much of it. Tabitha smiled excitedly when she saw you taking a sip of your overly sweet drink.

'' Does this mean you're gonna stay ? ''

You shook your head.

'' No. I'm just thirsty...''

'' This is disgusting why would people even drink this ? '' You said, scrunching your nose

'' Whatever. I just saw some people I wanna say hi to ... I'll be right back '' Tabitha said, leaving a quick kiss on your cheek before disappearing in the crowd.

You sighed again, taking another sip of your drink. You looked around the room, watching your best friend talk to people you didn't know until you felt someone staring at you. You looked up, and your eyes met his right away.

You both quickly looked away in shock, getting extremely shy.

And for some reason, you couldn't help but smile.

Your brother quickly noticed how silent his friend suddenly was. But he had other things to care about.

Girls for example...

He was busy flirting when he suddenly felt Jake's hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to look at Jake, he looked hypnotized.

'' Who is that ? '' Jake asked, his voice low.

'' Who are you looking at ? '' Your brother raised an eyebrow in confusion.

'' The girl in the floral dress... ''

Your brother looked at Jake with disgust written all over his face when he realized who he was staring at.

'' That's my sister '' He said, curling his lip in disgust.

'' She's beautiful '' Jake whispered quietly, but loud enough for your brother to hear.

Your brother shook his head in disbelief.

'' You need to get your eyes checked, man ''

Jake rolled his eyes, hitting your brother's shoulder playfully. It may sound pretty cheesy, but his heart skipped a beat when he looked at you. You looked incredibly beautiful in that dress. And the way your hair was slighly curled made you look even prettier. Jake hated your brother for not introducing him to you. You seemed so sweet...

He needed to talk to you. He needed to know what your voice sounded like.

So when he noticed no one was paying attention to him, he took his cup and made his way to the other side of the kitchen counter where you were still waiting for your best friend to come back. He slowly refilled his cup, and carefully tried taking a glimpse of you without looking like a total creep.

Well shit. You looked even better up close.

'' Hey ''

The boy next to you caught you by surprise. You didn't expect him to approach you. But you were glad he did.

'' Hi '' You replied, blushing shyly.

He was so close, you could smell his perfume. And oh god, he smelled amazing.

'' So ... you're Nate's sister ? ''

'' Yeah, sadly ''

Jake giggled quietly, making you smile.

'' And you are ? ''

'' Oh ! I'm Jake. '' He softly shook your hand, making you giggle.

'' Hi Jake '' You smiled warmly.

'' Hi ... ? ''

'' Y/N... My name is Y/N ''

'' Hi Y/N '' Jake smiled with all teeth. He didn't even realize he was still holding your hand.

You saw Tabitha looking at you from the corner of your eye. And when you turned your head towards her, she mouthed an ''Oh My God'' with widened eyes. Her jaw was on the floor. You bit your lip, trying to hold yourself back from smiling like an idiot.

'' Is everything alright ? ''

You quickly looked back at Jake.

'' Yeah of course ! '' You said.

'' Why have I never seen you before ? ''

'' I don't know. I've never really been into parties, and i also don't really like hanging out with my brother. It's not like we hate each other, but our personalities are very different. Sometimes we don't get along...''

'' Yeah I can tell...''

You tucked your hair behind your ear, looking at Jake with a smile.

He nervously took a sip of his drink, before scrunching his nose just like you did earlier.

'' Oh my god ... what is this ? '' He said, looking at his drink in pure shock.

'' This is way too sweet. Why would people even drink that ? ''

You laughed at his reaction, making him blush

'' My exact words... '' You said in surprise, chuckling.

'' Do we have the same drink ? ''

'' Yeah I think we do ''

You guys spent an hour just talking to each other about a variety of different things. Like music, books, movies, some of your favorite memories and especially your family. You obviously didn't miss the opportunity to tell him about all the weird things your brother did when he was little.

He didn't break his eye contact with you for even one second. He just couldn't look away from you. And the light blush on his cheeks made you feel all giddy inside.

He looked breathtaking. He was wearing a brown leather jacket with a white tank top, and some baggy jeans with a black belt. You had to stop yourself from staring a few times.

You could see your brother watch you both in disgust. The way you were smiling at each other was too much for him. But you couldn't care less.

'' Do maybe wanna go to my room ? We don't have to if that makes you uncomfortable but it's more quiet in there.. ''

'' No, I'd love to. It's a good idea '' Jake smiled softly.

'' Great '' You said, offering your hand to him. Jake giggled quietly before intertwining your hands, letting you lead him towards your room.

You quickly opened your door, letting Jake walk into your room first before comfortably sitting down on your bed. There was still soft music playing in your room from earlier. Jake walked around your room in awe. He smiled looking at the pictures and posters on your wall.

He thought about how people were extremely right when they said ''a girls room is a museum of everything she's ever loved''.

He giggled looking at the baby pictures of you and your brother sitting next to each other while messily eating something that looked like strawberry ice cream. He took one more look around before carefully sitting down on your bed right next to you.

You both didn't say anything for a few minutes. You calmly listened to the music playing in the backround, while enjoying each other's presence.

'' I genuinely don't know why my brain just goes blank when I look at you. I think i'm going a little crazy '' Jake admitted, breaking the silence.

'' I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that'' He added, covering his face

You chuckled quietly, trying to remove his hands from his face.

'' You're silly ''

'' And you're like really pretty '' He whispered, looking into your eyes this time.

You caught yourself getting lost in Jake's eyes for a few seconds. And without realizing it, you ended up looking at Jake's lips. You had no idea you could get that comfortable with someone in just a few hours. You suddenly trusted him like no one else.

'' Y/N ? ''

'' Yes ? ''

'' Close your eyes... '' He said. And so you did.

Something about being with Jake just felt incredibly right.

And just a few seconds later, you felt Jake's hands cup your cheeks and his hot breath against your lips. Your breath hitched when you felt his plump lips gently brush against yours, and you couldn't help but quickly close the tiny gap between your lips. The kiss started off slow, with his one hand on your cheek and the other one on your waist. He pulled you onto his lap, intensifying the kiss before quickly pulling away, leaving you confused.

'' Wait '' He whispered, breathing heavily

'' Is this okay for you ? ''

'' Of course it is ''

'' It's not too much ? ''

'' No. Now shut up and kiss me '' You commanded, making him smile cheekily

You felt him trap your bottom lip between his teeth before finally connecting your lips again, kissing you passionately. His fingers delicately caressed the skin of your thighs, making you whine into the kiss. He smiled against your lips, his hands roaming all over your body giving you goosebumps.

He was really testing your patience.

Jake gently helped you lay down on your back, before carefully hovering over you. He held your waist for support, deepening the kiss even more. Jake had never kissed anyone this deeply before. His touch was so gentle, but the way he kissed you was incredibly intense.

He kissed you with so much passion and ... love.

Before things could go even further, you softly broke the kiss. You both weren't able to open your eyes for a few minutes when you were breathing heavily against each other's mouths. Jake rested his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath. He laid down next to you before pulling you against his chest, holding you close. You wrapped your arms around his waist, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down.

He placed one last gentle kiss on your neck before looking at you with a soft smile.

'' Y/N ? ''

'' What ? ''

'' You're a really good kisser ''

You giggled, covering your face in embarrassment.

'' You were my first kiss '' You whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

Jake's eyes widened in surprise. There's no way he heard that right...

'' You're joking ''

'' I'm not '' You whined against his neck.

'' Look at me Y/N '' He said, making you look at him by lifting your chin.

You were flustured by the way he was looking at you. But you found comfort in his touch.

'' This is all probably happening way too fast but let me take you out. Let's make memories together. ''

You smiled at him.

'' I would love to ''

Jake gently pecked your lips, smiling like an idiot. He wasn't able to contain his smile anymore. He felt so happy...

'' Do you believe in love at first sight ? ''

You rested your forehead against his, closing your eyes. You inhaled his scent, feeling at ease.

'' I do... ''

You and Jake knew exactly where this conversation was going. You could basically read each other's minds at this point.

'' I didn't believe in it a few hours ago ... but now I sure do '' He explained, making you blush. You giggled at the way he was looking at you. Like you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen...

'' You're gonna drive me crazy... '' He said.

'' Trust me, I'm gonna love the heck out of you… ''

'' Trust me Jake, so will I...''

- end

taglist - { @heuiton , @leiclerc … }

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cosmousee · 6 months ago

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WHAT YOUR HIGHER SELF WANTS TO TELL YOU 💫🌟

Hello my loves!!!

I am back.

Love being MIA (jk jk I miss it so much, but life just has been holy crap) Here's a reading on what your higher self wants to tell you. Which Ive been trying to do since fkn last week of October, and finally here I am!!

Oh I am also going to start doing paid readings I guess, I am so excited!!! (but after November because end term exams are upon me)

Lets get to the reading!!

Choose whatever pile resonates with you, whatever does not, remember to just pass it on🥰

Pile 1>>2>>3

Pile 1

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

So starting off, your higher self is warning you about the people who are around you. While I was connecting with the higher self for the messages, it felt like there was this huge bundle of snakes intertwined and you were at the centre of it. You might be surrounded by people who do not have your best interest at heart.

Since they were so intertwined and you were literally at the core of it, it seems like they have sllithered there way into your closest and innermost circle, but not because they genuinely want to be there, but it may be because they want to get some gossip from you, or they want to reap the rewards for the hard work you have done. You know sort of like, parasitic situation.

For you oracle we have

The Bee and Pomegranate: productivity

This card is making me think that they are either jealous of your productivity and want to know how you are doing it so they can as well, or they really want to piggy back on your success and call it theirs.

With the Bee I think, it is time for you to identify the issues in your hive, and start eliminating them. You might feel a little suspicious about them sometimes but brush away that thought thinking you’re just being paranoid. But, if your intuition is constantly pulling your attention towards that, and if you’re having a bad feeling, its time to sting that *beep* and cut them out of your life.

I am getting that you might start having some issues while you’re with them, like getting a headache, your energy levels being drained even though you were fine seconds ago. Having stomach issues after having a meal with them, your electric appliances would stop working, something like that.

I also saw this forked snake typa thing, which had two heads, and basically they are double faced and a snake to everyone and aren’t true to anybody. Just felt like mentioning it here.

For your tarot cards, we have,

Ace of Cups and The Emperor (reverse)

I feel like, because of the people around you, and their negative energies towards you, new opportunities might be blocked from coming to you.

You might feel the energy of something new coming, but then it just does not. Also, you do not have your cup full. Because of all that energy draining by these people, you only feel happy superficially, or because you are supposed to feel happy with your friends. But actually, deep down in reality, your soul knows you deserve better and these aren’t the people who are going to fill your cup.

You’ve got better opportunities waiting for you, you’ve got a whole empire waiting for you with The Emperor, but you need the right people in your court who will help you get there. Community is important, and being alone sucks, especially if you’re in a new place, could be a new school, a new university, a new job and you are afraid of letting them go because what if nobody else is there.

But until you take that risk, you will never find out. And honestly, right now, even being alone for a little while would be good for you to rejuvenate yourself and align yourself with the life that you really want, with the people that you really want.

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading 🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

Pile 2

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

Idk what it is with this reading, but saw snakes for this pile as well (I was literally playing slither.io rn), but in a veryyy different light as compared to the first pile. Basically, you know like there are two sides of you, the light and the dark, the yin and the yang sort of a thing. Except, I saw one side more earthy, nature ish and grounded I guess, and the other is just the same thing but… horror ish. You know thorny forest and dark night things.

I think what your higher self is trying to tell you is that you gotta embrace all of yourself. All the parts, the good, bad, light, dark etc etc etc. It happens sometimes when you realise some weird (dark trait/habit so to say) of yours and then you fixate on that and you end up believing you’re not a very good person (HOLY FKN CRAP the universe just aligned in such a weird way I cannot even, gonna give context in a bit).

But just because you believe you’re not a good person doesn’t mean that you don’t have the good qualities in you. And vice-versa as well, sometimes when we do light work, we tend to forget our shadow selves, or repress it. Which isn’t…ideal. Ya know?

You gotta embrace everything.. Just like the big snakes circle the little ones in slither.io (such weird analogies holy crap)

Okay so I do use costar (i am aware people dislike it, but its daily messages hit right at the spot. But today’s did not make sense to me, until NOW)

Okay anywho, moving on

Your oracle cards are:

The Caiman and Poppy: dreams

The Hawk and Thistle: graceful persistence

They are going to make more sense with the tarot cards so I am just going to mention them here,

Queen of Swords, 6 of pentacles (reversed), Ace of Wands and 3 of Wands

I feel like there has been some passion project sort of thing you have been wanting to pursue, but not getting the motivation, or you know the nicer way to do it. You may start doing it but then leave it after sometime because it is not providing you the happiness that you thought it would. Its not because you’re doing the wrong thing, its probably because there’s another way to do the thing, where you’ll enjoy it to the core.

This ‘new’ way of doing the thing might be revealed to you in your dreams. Your higher self may come to you in dream state and then reveal what is to be done. Now of course, ain’t that easy, they may not tell you exactly what you have to do, but tell you in some weird ass format which you might have to decode later on.

I am also getting the vibe that do not share this new thing with the people around you, I think. Not until it is successful anyway. I know its fun when you go and be like “Yo I had this epiphany in a dream” and blabber it all out. But for the time being, keeping the thing to yourself would be more beneficial to you. The Hawk from the oracle card has got sharp eyes and is on the lookout. Now its not to say that people are out for you or will take your ideas blah blah, but I think its for your own sake. You know sometimes you tell a person something and the whole excitement just blows away? Think of it as avoiding this scenario.

Anyways! I hope whatever this new thing is, it brings back your spark for doing the things you are passionate about and this time receiving the serotonin with it as well!

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

Pile 3

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

SO OKAY!

Everybody who chose this pile, like fkn immediately go and connect to your higher selves, they have SO MUCH TO SAY and I can only cover so much (sorry higher selves I am trying my best here)

Okay so, gonna explain everything together, your oracle card is:

The Antelope and Wheat: nourishment

What I felt is like, you know, you have multiple personalities, moods and what not. Like one day you’re like Yay Party and then two days later you’re just hibernating happily. You’re being told to nourish all the various aspects you have of yourself.

Wanna go clubbing. Sure!

Wanna stay in and sleep in your cute pajamas. Sure!

Wanna go on a solo date/trip. Sure!

Don’t deprive any one of them, if you feel like you do not have enough resources to do so, or just because, it is easier to just lie down or do something else instead of doing what you actually want.

I’ll explain more with your tarot cards:

King of Pentacles, 3 of swords, 7 of swords, The Chariot, The Hierophant, 4 of pentacles and Ace of pentacles

(see I told you they have a lot to say)

Coming back on track, I feel like you wanna reach the King of pentacles before you nourish yourself, you know have absolute abundance of money, energy, health and what not.

But it is also possible that sometimes, you aren’t the King of Pentacles, you might be the Queen, the Knight, the Paige and this or that, and then it breaks your heart that you know “oh I can’t do this, I am low on resources”.

But that’s just your brain being wacky, and since you aren’t fulfilling all of your needs, it sort of snatches away happiness from other things as well. I mean of course you’ll be happy doing what you can but then you’ll know something is missing and that’s not the experience you wanna have with the things you love.

Your Higher self is telling you to keep moving forward, do not let your wacky brain control you with its weird ass thoughts (easier said than done). Do not reserve yourself from living your life to the fullest, because of minor here’s and there’s. Its pentacles, it’s gonna get refreshed any which ways and you’ll always be in a cycle of receiving it and giving it away.

This thinking might have been ingrained in you since childhood, through your home, or society or the community that you live in. Which is okay, I mean if you were brought up like that, obviously you will live that way. You know, Asian parents being like you can’t have fun for 2 days in a row! Which is makes zero sense (been there done that)

Try detaching yourself from that mindset if you are able to, because there’s a much livelier version of yourself to live as and they are looking forward to you taking steps towards them!!

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

#tarotblr #tarot #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #divination #astrology #divine #divine guidance #spiritual awakening #oracle #oracle reading #spirit guides #universe #higher self #pick a pile #pick a card #pac #pac reading

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museenkuss · 5 months ago

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Marie Museenkuss Advent Calendar

For this advent season, I've prepared a selection of little treats - recipes, things to read or things to watch that I enjoy (or wrote) and am excited to share with you over the next few days. Each day, I'll 'open' another door to reveal the treat. I hope we can celebrate and have fun together!

[💎] To start, a cosy Christmas crime classic: Hercule Poirot's Christmas

[🦊] One of my all-time favourite fairy tales, Allerleirauh, can be read on this website! If you'd like to turn pages and see an illustration or two, you can also read it in the Green Fairy Book via archive.org, but beware - that version is censored!

[🪞] An all-time classic of a different kind, maybe just in time now that the New Year is slowly seeping in: Joan Didion's Essay "On Self Respect"

[💌] Feelings inspired to write? I’ve got some shimmering, cool, delicate december prompts ready for you!

[🗝️] In the spirit of the censored Allerleirauh: Read my thoughts on death, mutilation and the gruesome in fairy tales

[👢] On the morning of the sixth, German children will find little treats in their boots that Nikolaus left for them the night before. Let's use some of them (apples, marzipan(optional), nuts) to make a traditional German christmas treat - the Bratapfel. Rezept. Authentic English recipe.

[🏮] Let's take a virtual trip to the Tate and look at Sargent's Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose in two short videos that focus on description and technique!

[✨] The nostalgic excitement of entering a theatre and watching the other guests before the show - Chanel's A/W 2024/25 Haute Couture Show blends Opera and High Fashion.

[☕️] Today (very appropriate for the temperature drop), we're learning how to make French hot chocolate: [written recipe] [video]

[🦢] Do you have an hour to spare? Enjoy this charming little volume on perfume from 1928, a love letter to fragrance filled with anecdotes from all over the world and illustrated by the wonderful George Barbier: The romance of perfume by Richard Le Gallienne

[🌹] A Renaissance princess and her baroque prince... Here's a magical performance of Sleeping Beauty by the Bolshoi Ballet

[12] 🎪

[🍰 ] With eleven days left, there's still more than enough time to make the Fortnum&Mason Christmas Cake in time for Christmas! [the official F&M christmas cookbook has a very similar recipe for a fruit cake, but without the soaking and with a layer of fondant on top. let me know if you'd be interested in that, I'll post a pic]

[💋] today, let’s read one of my favourite sensual poems for winter: Francis Jammes — Tu Seras Nu (You will be nude), translated by Kenneth Rexroth

[🖋] This sunday, let's write! Or, alternatively: Let's daydream! Here are some brand new prompts for inspiration.

[🎞️] In the spirit of daydreaming: You and I by Papooz, Weak for your Love by Thee Sacred Souls, Mystery by Raveena are three extremely different but visually stunning music videos to songs I absolutely adore. To start this week, take a little moment to watch and listen, dream and dance.

[🍷] Easy poached pears in red wine with vanilla - a gorgeous, ruby-coloured dessert. I've made (regular) poached pears before and they are just as easy as this title suggests. But I'm SO eager to try (and share <3) this variant!

[18] 🎠

[🐻] After a long, tiring day of Christmas shopping (or Christmas stress), let's relax with a whimsical film! Panna a netvor (Beauty And The Beast) from 1978 <3

[💫] Imagine a zine, except more whimsical and more complicated - today, we're learning how to make a Victorian Puzzle Purse! They're so pretty, perfect add-ons for a christmas gift - or adorable presents in their own right.

[🩰] I feel like Christmas is the time where we can truly reconnect to the magic of childhood. So today, let's put on our (imaginary) ballet slippers and do a little 5-min Nutcracker ballet choreo in our living room! Whether we're dancers or not honestly doesn't matter - nobody is watching us, this is all about enjoying the fantasy of a snow-sparkling night. We're playing pretend! And if you'd rather improvise to something more dramatic, I used to whirl around to Borodin's Polovtsian Dances.

[🕰️] During this cold, dark evening, I present to you one of my favourite poems, caught between romanticism and irony: Heine's Old Chimney Piece (in translation).

[🎟️] About a year ago, Joel Haver made a video looking back on 4 years of uploading weekly short films. It's one of my favourite videos, visually, in its tone and regarding its message, and I feel now that the year is coming to a close, it might be a really inspiring watch: it's been fun.

[🎄] I wish I could invite you all over to show you the illustrated edition of E.T.A. Hoffmann's Nutcracker that my parents gifted me in 2001. Instead, I offer you a very nice translation: Nutcracker and the King of Mice - and, if you're the audiobook type, I found a good translation with Tchaikovsky's music here. The story is haunting, delicate, glittering, unheimlich. It starts on Christmas Day and infuses the following days and nights with magic. It was such a joy to share this Advent Calendar with you and I hope that with this, I can share some of my Christmas festivities with you, too, since they're so entwined with this story (and since the first chapters also somewhat accurately depict how I celebrate Christmas, too - on the evening of the 24th, after decorating the tree). Lots and lots of Love, darlings! I hope you have a magical day, a magical evening, and a very Merry Christmas!

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thedragonagebigbang · 6 months ago

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Reveals begin in ONE WEEK!

Starting on November 4, we will be sharing one project each day. Celebrate our writer/artist teams and the hard work they've done!

💫 turn notifications ON for @thedragonagebigbang

💫 check back in every day beginning Nov 4

💫 share the works for other fans

💫 give our teams some cheers for their hard work!

Work Reveals begin NOVEMBER 4!

The Dragon Age Big Bang work reveals begin NOVEMBER 4. Our writers and artists have been working hard since July to produce amazing longfics and art based on your favorite series! Please remember to give them some love and share their excitement when reveals begin!

While many of us will also be playing the new game, we encourage everyone to tune in for the STACKED lineup of fics and illustrations we have for you! Whatever character, pairing, or franchise installment is your favorite, you are guaranteed to find something you LOVE.

🫰 all works will have tags and no sp**lers will be shared. It's safe to celebrate with us!

#mod post #event info

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galadrieljones · 8 months ago

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Zabel Interview, Team Delusional Round-up, re: the past few weeks (months?) 💫

(Based on an ask from @natural-blue-26! This post contains spoilers, pertaining to the script leak. If you don't want them, turn back!!)

First, let me say that @twdmusicboxmystery has posted an excellent video covering this topic over at her youtube channel. This post is jumping off of that, with some additional takes and analysis by me!

Also, note that I wanted to wait to post or to talk about this too much publicly until today, as I think there are a lot of genuine shippers who might be let down right now. Not all c*rylers are unhappy, unruly people. Many are shippers just like us, and even though I don't ship it, I support them. I am only putting this in the Team Delusional tag, so anyone who sees this is seeing it either because they follow me, follow the tag, follow someone who follows me, or they went looking for it themselves. I am not making drama or inciting a "ship war." If you're here out of anger, I suggest you turn back. I am just going to go over what I see.

The Facts

There has been a recent spate of events that have lead Team Delusional to a rare and more than modest resurgence. Until now, we were mostly just working with templates and symbolism, with a healthy dose of informed meta and speculation: We were seeing how the season 4/5 template was beginning to unfold toward the Grady arc, which includes Carol in a major role.

BUT. Let's check in with what's been going on over the past six months. A lot of this new resurgence starts with Emily's multiple trips to Europe for TWD cons in the past six months, integrated with her (yet unrealized) insinuation that she has been in studio recording one or more songs that Beth sang on TWD. Massive financial burdens aside, these are unusual undertakings for Emily. While she has done many fan cons over the years, visiting Europe twice in a four month period is bizarre (as well as expensive). She also talked openly and excitedly in the panel at French comic-con about how cool it would be if Beth returned. Further, Emily's "re-recording" of "Parting Glass" and possibly other TWD songs was a fairly big announcement for us at the time, but we haven't seen any more on it since. Speculation went everywhere from "She'll be singing in a flashback in Daryl Dixon season 2" to "Her songs will be part of the soundtrack" to "She'll actually BE in season 2, singing, in the present moment."

A lot of these things, if they were spread out over a 5 year period, wouldn't matter at all. But the fact that they're all taking place in the six-month run-up to Daryl Dixon s. 2, when we've already been able to speculate her tenuous return based on templates and other tells, is exciting. It's been almost ten years to the day of Beth's *death.* Why now? The timing on all of this is very suspicious.

Now, a few weeks ago, there was a LEAKED SCRIPT excerpt, which was claimed to be the final scene of DD 2.6. In the script, we learn that Isabelle has died and is appearing to Daryl in the form of a hallucination while he fights walkers in the Chunnel. This was confusing for many reasons. First, we already know, given their ruthless advertisement of the fact, that season 3 is already being filmed in Spain. So why are they headed to England? Also, where the hell is Laurent? Further, Isabelle's death, while unsurprising to many of us, creates some new questions. Many members of a certain *other* ship were ecstatic to learn about Isabelle's death, as Daryl/Isabelle ship rumors have been rampant in the fandom basically since season 1. Forget the fact that the same ship FREAKED out over Daryl/Leah three years ago (a clear nothingburger). Any time another female character even comes into contact with Daryl, a notable portion of fans must make their "displeasure" widely known.

Moving on. Yesterday, an article came out summarizing a yet-unreleased interview with David Zabel in SFX magazine. You can read it here. In the interview, Zabel makes the following comment about "C*ryl":

"The obvious thing to do, and the easier thing to do would be, 'Okay, now they're falling in love and they're a couple.' But I always felt like that would be a mistake, because it would feel like you were going into the TV book of tricks," he explains. "To me, there was never a question that [their connection] was something other than what it is, and what it seems to want to be, and why it works so well."

Zabel then goes on to hint at a highly-contentious romance with Daryl and Isabelle:

"What happened in season one was that you could see a connection forming, for sure," he says. "We didn't manufacture that but we left room for it. A lot of season two is about the development of that and where that relationship goes, and that little surrogate family of Isabelle, Daryl and Laurent."

Now, the full interview doesn't come out until September 4, at which point, we may get a clearer picture of what's going on. However, it seems that Zabel is politely declining the "C*ryl as romance" narrative. In the quote, he uses the excuse of wanting to avoid TV tropes; however, he then goes on to say (in a portion of the quote that is being wildly misinterpreted among the c*ryl ship) that "To [him]," there was "never a question that [their connection was something other than what it is." He then equates "what it is" with "what it seems to want to be" and "why it works so well." The misinterpretation is coming with that second part. "What it is" = friendship. Zabel is clearly saying that c*ryl "seems to want to be" exactly "what it is," aka: a sacred friendship and nothing more. He's basically saying that this already "works so well," and so why fix what ain't broke? Why create a romance between two characters who are clearly just very, very good friends when he could go another, more interesting direction?

Certain c*ryl accounts have misinterpreted that section of the quote. They seem to think he's saying that the c*ryl ship "seems to want to be" something else, something other than what it is. But if you follow the grammatical logic of the sentence, you can see that they're wrong here. It wants to be what it already is, which is friendship. Of course, to c*rylers, what it already is = romance, but that isn't canon. There's no proof of this. In fact, there's more proof to the contrary, that they're best friends. They're family. Carol was married to somebody else, raised a child with him, still holds a contentious relationship with the other man, allowed Daryl to toil away in the woods alone for five years because she needed to stay with her husband...

In addition to factual evidence from the show, the C*ryl Friendship Campaign has been going strong on social media for MONTHS. In her video this morning, twdmusicboxmystery also goes over quasi-recent comments from Angela Kang which are UNSUPPORTIVE of a c*ryl romance. The notion that this perspective is coming out of nowhere, which some fans are claiming as a way of blaming Zabel for either lying or betraying his fanbase (and the actors), is, frankly, absurd.

Please note that I'm not saying that nobody should ship c*ryl just because it isn't canon. That would be silly. I ship non-canon ships all the time. BETHYL is a non-canon ship! I've written whole fanfics for Beth and Daryl (well, I've tried lol, but most remain unfinished). It's one of the funnest parts of being in a fandom.

What I'm saying is that c*ryl is NOT CANON. It never has been. And the people who get angry about this, who want to get professionals fired over this, who think that they're entitled to getting exactly what they want, lest the show perish, are wrong. They're doing it wrong. It's totalitarian and, frankly, obsessive. This is not how you be in a fandom, and my interpretation here of the Zabel interview in conjunction with the C*ryl Friendship Campaign is that they are TRYING to let this highly volatile and frankly unpleasant faction of the fandom down lightly in an effort to get them off tptb's AND the actors' backs. They don't want to deal with this shit anymore. And by the way, they're actually not leading anyone on. They've been insanely clear here, in their rebranding of c*ryl to a platonic ship, as to what's happening and what's going on, and while I really do feel for the good people who may feel let down by this, I am GLAD to see that the showrunners aren't going to heed the demands of one tiny, loud faction of a giant fandom, and that despite the haters, they're going to tell the story they want to tell.

ANYWAY.

Over the past 48 hours, things have gotten...weird. Zabel's interview dropped less than a day after the TWD Skybound social media accounts appear to have...posted a Bethyl edit out of nowhere. @sweetz1919 also posted early this morning, bringing together a few more Beth-related posts on either official accounts or *near* official accounts, which post promotional material, and which are followed by AMC TWD. One of these posts is a repost on twitter by Scott Gimple, who so rarely posts on social media, that any time he does, it's like a unicorn, symbolically notable and certainly important.

Now, pertaining to the Zabel interview, another wide complaint taking place in the c*ryl camp is that Zabel is likely LYING or he is being taken grossly out of context, because if c*ryl isn't happening, AND Isabelle is going to die, then how could Daryl POSSIBLY get his happy ending?

THIS is where Team Delusional comes in. Of course, we have our theories. Most people think WE'RE the delusional ones. And maybe we are! Lol. I don't really care. Most of our theories are crafted through a TON of hard, circumstantial, pattern-driven, and symbolic evidence, evidence taken from IRL sources, and hypotheses made after paying very close attention to what's been going on and making LOTS and LOTS of connections over a period of many years. Me, myself, I've only been here for four, but some of you guys have been doing this for almost ten, and for that, I salute you! As I said earlier, TD has been theorizing Beth's "return" in DD2 based greatly on symbolic and template-driven evidence alone for a while. A lot of what we're seeing now on social media is playing directly into our hand.

Emily in Europe multiple times in a 4mo period, including a trip to Paris, with her latest stint being just a week before "official" filming for season 3 was set to begin? Emily re-recording tracks from TWD? Leaked script pages in which Daryl mentions Beth specifically AND suggest that Isabelle is going to die? Romantic!C*ryl = not happening? HOW could Daryl possibly get his happy ending now? The rest is TD theory, ie: WHY we think Beth will come back to manifest Daryl's "happy ending." Speculation and theories on how she could come back, the connection to Spain/England/France, that's basically all we talk about lol, each of us with our own interests and niche perspectives, all arriving at the same point.

SO while there is still no proof that she is coming back, all of this is a Good thing, actually. For us. Because while everyone is looking around, freaking out, wondering what's going to happen next, we are seeing and able to read a LOT of signs that others ignore. And rightly so! There's no reason the rest of the GA needs to think that Beth is legitimately coming back. That would overshadow Carol's role in season 2, which is significant. It's just important that the GA REMEMBERS who Beth IS, that she was important to Daryl, and that hey, people used to really like Beth, and they liked Beth and Daryl together, and that was hopeful, and nice for him, and he hasn't had much "hope" or "niceness" since, and wouldn't it be nice if he could have that again...? All of these things are really there to do just this: let the c*ryl ship down easy, and remind people that Daryl once held a very strong connection to a woman whose life "ended" too soon, and who has really never been mentioned again.

While I really have no idea what's coming next, I wonder if we'll begin to see more astroturfed discussion on Beth's *death.* How weird it was, what the hell was going on at Grady, etc. If we don't see it in promotional material, we may hear about it in-show. Because if Daryl is casually mentioning Beth (along with Merle and Glenn) to Isabelle's ghost/vision in episode 2.6, then this likely implies that he's told her about Beth before, and that he's talked to her about what happened. It implies that Isabelle knows who Beth is, which would be a truly insane development, since he's literally never talked about her to anyone, including Carol, as far as we know.

So anyway, as usual, we should all just keep our heads down, chins to our chest, keep hope alive, but with a balanced sense of anticipation. We still really don't know what's going to happen, so it's important to be rational, but it also won't hurt to have a little faith 💫

#team delusional

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