#The clock sure does like to go fast when one isn’t looking at the fucker.

[nameless-shrimp]

LOVESICK || KEISUKE BAJI

↳ PAIRING: Baji Keisuke x GN! Reader

↳ TYPE: one-shot

↳ WORD COUNT: 2.5k

↳ WARNINGS: intense swearing, lots of fluff

↳ SYNOPSIS: Baji has a crush on you, and when he finally goes on a date with you, he experiences some emotions he's not quite used to.

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTES: woooo baji love. this boy deserves the best. soft baji, soft baji, soft baji! anyway, here you go! i had a lot of fun writing this, it made me happy. i hope it does the same for you <3

Nearly tripping on the chair, Baji ducks closer beneath the desk, where Chifuyu cocks an eyebrow. Typically, to see Baji so nervous was an unusual state. And Chifuyu tilts his head to the other side of the classroom, watching your presence string by the large chalkboard, completely lost in the depth of conversation amongst the other classmates. Fighting a snort, he laughs; Baji growls in distress.

“Don’t be so damn loud, fucker,” Baji curses underneath his breath. “They’ll hear me.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” Chifuyu quips with a deadpan look. “You’ve been eyeing them the whole semester and you haven’t said a word.”

“Quit it.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’ll kick your ass, fuckface.”

Chifuyu sighs in defeat, fighting an eye roll. “Break’s coming soon. S’the perfect time to ask them out on a date or something,” placing a palm on Baji’s desk; the toothy look that Baji portrayed showed nothing but a young boy losing his confidence—Chifuyu finds it amusing, whereas Baji believes he would uppercut him some time. Maybe later. After lunch—sure. “Tick-tock, the clock’s speeding pretty fast. Soon enough, they’ll be out of the class and you won’t see them ever again and you would’ve missed your shot.”

“Oi,” Baji retorts, furrowing his eyebrows devilishly. “I will punch you.”

“Even if you did, s’not like you made any difference with Y/N, any—”

“Shh!” Baji shushes, standing up quickly before grabbing ahold of the blond’s figure. Chifuyu snickers in pure delight. Bastard. Completely finding amusement in Baji’s nervousness; not even Baji could blame him. Yet he wanted to punch him—again. ‘Later,’ he thinks. “If you keep talking so loud like that then Y/N will he—”

“Hear what?”

Baji freezes; wide eyes enlarge while Chifuyu cackles in a boisterous fit. He slaps his knee religiously before backing away. Hands shaking, Baji gulps quickly, facing you in an instant. His legs start to crumble, though he keeps his ground. Fuck. You weren’t supposed to hear a goddamn word and—shit he was so going to kick Chifuyu’s ass for this and—and—and—you were right there so like, ‘fuck, um?!’ Baji thinks furiously, eyes darting from your school uniform to the flushed look on your face; innocence. All wrapped around the eyes as you cautiously shoot a puzzling glance.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to, um…” Baji murmurs, throwing a hand behind his neck. He taps his foot impatiently; the desperate need to have the moment end though he also didn’t want it to at the same time. A chance. Even so, for Baji to take you out somewhere—nothing too fancy, nor would it be perfect; his heart swirls in shades of red. An unusual feeling, but he finds it comforting all at once. “I didn’t mean for you to hear me talk about you or mention you in any way! Seriously.”

“Well, you caught my interest,” you say. “So what is it?”

“S’nothing,” Baji waves a hand. “Really. I mean it.”

“Okay,” you blink. “I still wanna know.”

Fucking hell.

“Yakisoba,” Baji murmurs underneath his breath. “I like… yakisoba a lot.”

“That’s cool.”

“Was wondering if you’d want to go and, like,” Baji huffs, turning away. His cheeks flourish pink; Chifuyu smirks from afar; cheeky bastard, playing with chalk mindlessly. He’s enjoying the whole show and Baji nearly stumbles on his words. “Get some with me, ya’know? The two of us. Hanging out. I wanna get to—yeah, like get to know you better.”

You nod slowly, taking in his words. “Yakisoba sounds really delicious,” you say, tapping your chin. Quickly, a nod follows in response. Baji’s eyes widen. “Sure, I’d love to go out with you to get some.”

His feet remain still; frozen—stuck. Baji notices the glimmer across Chifuyu’s eyes even from a few feet away, where he nearly throws chalk towards him. Mimicking confetti, almost. And Baji nods, tightening his lips into an overly excited smile. Bowing, Baji murmurs a soft thank you, only to have you bid a farewell despite you two sitting five desks from each other. The bell rings in an instant, catching the other students to fumble to their seats.

Chifuyu pats his shoulder, throwing a ‘thumbs-up’. Congratulations. At least Baji took the step further. His heartbeat quickens, whether it was an adrenaline high from actually speaking to you and that you agreed to go out with him. He daydreams a wondrous date—to take you to a dazzling cheap restaurant that even his age could afford; perhaps, a swing to go stargazing; in hopes of watching a smile flutter across your lips.

He grips his pencil tighter. Smile not once fading. Reds. Scarlet pinks with shades of white; his heart is filled with such colors that Baji wasn’t really used to. At least, he works with it, for now, attempting to divide numbers in his mind while staring at the chalkboard in front of him.

A warm shade of colors; his stomach churns in excitement. Such a new wave of emotions—Baji lets it happen.

Sunset peeks through the refined glass; the restaurant lost in the blink of silence. Nothing but the sound of pots and pans dancing in the background from the nearby kitchen, and the gentle soothing of your voice causes Baji to fluster into a peek of an immense high. He recalls the moment Mitsuya was messaging him only an hour ago about the date he was about to accomplish with you—the swirls in his heart continue to grow. A new season almost; the edge of winter breezing into the spring with gray clouds. That kind of feeling.

The way your body moves in front of him, exchanging photos of cats that were kept within your phone, Baji remains still. Continuing to blink even from inches away. That glimmer in your eyes—one that he wishes to spark more often.

Tip-tapping your fingers on the table, the trail of your voice dives deep into a childhood story; falling off a bike—or something like that, and Baji laughs. He couldn’t help it; not only could he relate to that numerous times even now, but the presence you bestowed was far from dull, only to sing a song of your laughter—an orchestra unfolding.

“Ah!” You cough into your fist, catching him out of his daze. He blinks quickly. “This is pretty spicy! It caught me off guard.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Baji exclaims, eyes enlarging. “I should’ve told you it had a bit of a kick to it before I recommended it to you. Shit, I—fuck, I’m sorry.”

Waving your hand, coughs rush out from your lips. “No worries,” a smile was thrown his way. “It just surprised me, that’s all.”

“I—I don’t mean to upset you.”

“Hmm?” You hum, brows raised. “You didn’t at all. Don’t worry too much. We’re here to have fun, remember?”

Baji nods, lips slowly trailing into a smile. “Right. M’sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” your head shakes; Baji’s eyebrows knit in a puzzling state. “Like I said, we're here to have a good time. To look at cat pictures and eat some yakisoba together.”

“Just…” he murmurs something inaudible underneath his breath.

You grin. “What was that? Couldn’t hear you.”

“You weren’t supposed to.”

“But I want to know,” you chuckle brightly. Baji’s heart flutters—he swears for a minute it stopped beating once the melody played from your lips. “You got me curious now.”

“You just hear everything, don’t you?” Baji quips playfully, fighting back a forced scoff. Coughing into his hand, he turns to face his cup of water. “Just… nothing.”

Your face deadpans. “Oh, really?”

“Ah, ‘kay,” he gives in, shaking his head. “I just don’t wanna ruin today with you.”

Blinking at him, you chuckle once more before falling into a large fit of laughter. He arches a brow, eyeing you in confusion—all while wondering why you chose to wear a cute outfit today. “Silly,” your eyes close, mind trailing into a breeze. Gentle. Calm—even so, with Baji’s nervous presence around. “I don’t think you can ruin anything about this day. I’m already having a good time.”

He reaches for the napkins while fiddling with his chopsticks. Hands shaking rapidly; Baji clears his throat. “You sure?” He asks, cocking his head side to side—mostly out of a fit of nervousness. “Well, I mean, m’not trying to ruin anything. Seriously.”

“Stop,” you retort. “I refuse to hear anymore of this.”

“But—”

Your hands cover your ears. “No.”

Baji finds himself laughing—letting the swirls of pinks in his heart dance once more.

Dancing along the constellations up above; the stars kiss his skin. Closing his eyes, his mind fogs into a gentle daze—the remembrance of spring weather arises into his mind. Cool; warm, all at once. Footsteps were audible close to him where he felt the grass tickle his ankles. Not minding it one bit, Baji smiles. Satisfaction tickling his face; the look usually suits him, especially in the moment with you.

The tip of his tongue tastes of an orange pop soda from when he last ordered a drink at the restaurant he took you to. He keeps that same smile on his face, allowing his heart to swing along with your shoulders touching his. You stare up, watching the moon, with a finger darting from one star to another. The talk went on about the edge of the universe, from the myths of aliens and different worlds that went beyond the stratosphere, the kind of conversations that dwell deep perfectly at the edge of eleven at night; it was past your time to be at home, but Baji didn’t really seem to care.

(Lovesick. Chifuyu claimed he was that at one point; Baji said it was ‘bullshit’, that there weren't such feelings for the emotional boy to feel.)

“Something about you, Baji Keisuke,” you murmur, voice softening to the wind; the air was warm. Baji raises his eyebrows. “It’s just… funny.”

“What is?” He asks; curiosity killing the cat.

Your hands trail over his knuckles, softly petting his skin. He gulps from the small bit of contact—heart twirling into nothing but swirls once again. Completely stuck in his high from the morning he rose to the moment he shared with you right then.

“Your heart is so soft,” you say, closing your eyes. A yawn follows. Exhaustion reaching the edge of your shoulders. “I think you’re someone special—someone that just wants to protect others.”

There was once a moment when you stepped into the same class as him, and he was immediately taken back by the way your hair nearly got tangled from the white fan. Chifuyu instantly took note of his reaction, quick on his feet to pick at Baji’s emotions right off the bat. (He wasn’t pleased, of course.) Although Baji wasn’t going to remain in denial—not until Mikey had taken note of Baji’s later showings to Toman’s meetings.

He never made a move, not once. A ninja hidden beneath the shadows. He couldn’t quite understand why he remained uncomfortable with his confidence once your presence walked past him every morning—to where Baji consistently pulled through and fought back a punch at every snicker that Mikey threw at him for being lost in a lovesick daze. Lovesick; once again, as Chifuyu mentioned to him once before. At some point, Baji asked Draken if there was such a thing—and the response was silence. Though it was still an answer that spoke the truth.

With how your eyes glowed underneath the large moon that slept in the sky, Baji slowly fell in love with the adrenaline rush. Purple street lights glowing from below the hill both of your bodies rested on; a treasuring memory growing into the back of his mind—one that he wished that he could not forget. And his heart jitters; a quicker pace, with the warm colors capturing him behind bars.

“Y/N…” he breathes, looking down at your figure.

“Ah, yes?” You open your eyes, fighting the tiredness. “I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

“No, love, I just—”

“Did you just call me ‘love’?”

“Yeah,” he reacts quickly in defense, almost choking on his breath. “Do you not like it?”

“No, no…” you smile, shaking your head. Face planting into his shoulder; cheeks flustering into a warm heat. “I like it. Yeah. Keep calling me that.”

“I want to,” Baji grins; a toothy one—tongue hidden beneath the teeth, kind of grin. And his lips press down to your forehead. Love… sick. Right. “It’s just that I think…”

You sigh deeply. “You think what?”

“I think I—” Baji cuts himself off, batting his eyes before shaking his head. “Nothing.”

“You stop yourself too much,” a laugh was heard. “Tell me.”

“S’best if I wait on it.”

“Suit yourself.”

Dark night slick above the both of you. Baji’s hands roam along your shoulders, pulling you close to his chest. Your head softly falls to his lap; a hum of a popular pop song was audible to his ears. The bits of autumn breeze cools his forehead down, nearly on the brink of sweat. Typically, Baji wasn’t one to give in so easily to touch—or at least, he thought. Tips of your fingers rub his knuckles once again and he smiles heavenly to the warmth—stardust glimmers across your eyes; he blinks for a harsh second to snap into the shape of the current moment—in touch with reality, and he realizes it then.

Lovesick. Baji laughs loudly. To fall so hard for someone that he may not have. Perhaps that was meant to be true even after so long—a time where something can change. With you. Together; hand-in-hand. His protection. Baji imagines it for a moment, deep in the basket of silence.

His world stops. You glance up at him, fluttering your eyes to force a wide awake state. A dance of your fingers allows him to part his lips; you trail along his mouth before he starts to chuckle. How ticklish for Baji to act. And your laugh sings once more—a harmony; meant for only him to hear. “Quit looking at me like that,” you playfully cry out.

He tilts his head; unamused, slightly. “What do you mean?”

“You’re looking at me like you’re in love.”

Heart swirls; colors of Valentine’s day roses—the feeling of silver mountains and pink flowers in spring. Baji continues to let these emotions rise, again. And he laughs loudly, closing his eyes in a swift shut—finding peace. Acceptance; to be in a loving daze that he chooses to not escape. Trapped beneath the cracks of his violent side lies a young boy experiencing the emotions that he didn’t expect to witness, but did so anyway.

He keeps his hand on yours, staring back down at you. Face fading into a slow unconscious state, drifting away into a sweet sleep. Knowing you were still half-awake, Baji continues to laugh.

Pretty pink lips; heart diving into a sea of lovestruck highs.

“Maybe I am.”

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have aizawa dating (without knowing) one of his student's (you can chose) older sister? Thank you and stay hydrated! 💗

• It was Bakugous sister.

• He honestly didn't even make the fucking connection. He's just tired.

• You have brown hair, Katsuki has blonde hair. You curse a lot but have a much better control with your temper and youre not as hot headed.

• he didn't connect the resemblance either until he see's you too in the same room

• and he doesn't like bringing work home- especially when he gets to see you

• which isn't as often as he'd like it to be

• so he won't talk about it

• so you wouldn't know that he taught your brother

• he'll say his day was frustrating or it was good and then the subject would be changed

• Your family would know you're seriously dating /someone/

• but they wouldn't know who.

• your dad would know more than your mom would- you're closer with him

• Katsuki would also know youre dating someone, he doesn't know who, and he pretends not to care but he's annoyed he hasn't met them

• he doesn't know what they're like. They could be an asshole- he wouldn't know.

• your relationship with Katsuki is weird.

• some times he's decent- and yall act like normal siblings

• and then sometimes the two of you ignore eachother for months

• which is ridiculous because youre 26 and he's 17.

• you think he has some animosity for leaving the house and leaving him to be the only child there

• now his parents are down his back

• he might also be upset that you disciplined him a lot

• but you also comforted him when he needed it

• regardless he'll still show up at your apartment when he's fought with mom

• or he 'got bored' aka he missed you but he's not gonna say that

• if he didn't feel like spending the night in the dorms, he'd crash at your place.

• Back to the point- they don't know much.

• it's completely unknown to everyone that you're dating your brothers teacher.

• Aizawa is patient. He's so patient.

• you've been hesitant on him meeting your family (though you've been together for what- a year? Year and a half?) Because well...your family is your family.

• you don't want him to dip

• you're utterly in love with this man and you'd be htterly devastated if he left

• and honestly? He's content with how it is now.

• Him occasionally spending the night(s) ((weeks)) at your apartment, leaving work out of conversations and just enjoying company.

• you dont have to go too fast- its fine how it is now.

• he loves you and that's really all that matters to him.

• but one day, you do decide its time for him to meet them.

• it's over winter break- it's December, not long before Christmas, he'd be spending it with you this year and he should meet your family before hand.

• You guys decided breakfast was an appropriate time.

• So there you are, sitting in bed with your greasy gremlin of a man

• he's got a hand in your hair, the other on the bed on the other side of your head to hold him up.

• you were under him, licking the inside of his mouth

• that's as far as you two had gotten before there was a knock on the door.

• you looked towards the clock as he let out a small groan.

• forgive him, it'd been a solid 2 weeks since he'd seen you last and he missed every part of you.

• it was late, around 11:30, none the less you got up, pressing another kiss to his lips "I'll be back in a minute babe,"

• and off you go to answer the door

• and when you do answer you see Katsuki standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, looking very upset.

"Katsu?"

"I got into a fight with mom. Can I sleep here tonight?"

You nod, "yeah yeah, of course. Just text dad that you're here okay?" You step aside to let him in. "Did you walk? Drive?"

"Hung out with Ei and then drove here."

"Car out front?"

"Mhm, parked next to yours."

"Did Ei do a good job making you feel better?" You glance back at him as you take a cup out if the cupboard.

"Yeah, he did. I'm just not in the mood to go back."

"That's okay. We know how mom gets. What was it about?"

"Responsibility or some shit like that. Not exactly sure anymore."

"Katsu," you mumble, sitting a cup if tea in front of him. "You're doing fine. With everything thats going on, you're dealing with it really well. You're still just a kid, you deserve to have some fun." You kiss his forehead and he nods. "I'm gonna make sure the guest bedroom is ready, kay?"

"Kay."

• So once the room is ready, he brings his cup into the room and plugs in his phone before looking at you.

"Is /he/ here?

"Sho? Yeah, he's probably sleeping now. You'll meet him in the morning. Is Ei and his family still spending Christmas dinner with us?"

"Yeah. He is."

"Does he know how crazy we are?"

Katsuki smiles slightly. "Yeah, one of his moms is like that."

"Good, then you have nothing to worry about. Goodnight Katsuki." You ruffle his hair.

"Let the bedbugs bite, hag."

"You too, little fucker."

• Getting back into bed woke Shouta up, though he was only just drifting off.

"Who was that?"

"Brother, he got into a fight with mom. He's spending the night in the guest bedroom so you'll meet him tomorrow."

He nodded. "Can I go back to kiss you now?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, but we have to be quite now." You smile.

"You know thats one of my favorite games," he got back on top of you, moving your legs so they were on either side of his waist and he had easy access to grind himself onto your heat. You let out a sigh and his lips reconnected.

• The next morning you woke up early than you had really wanted but sometimes shit happens.

• katsuki was already up, if course he was.

• he gave you a small nod, eyes traveling to the hickey peeking out from under your robe before looking away. Gross.

• "Sleep okay?"

"Slept fine, you?"

"Mhm," you smile slightly. "Dad say anything last night?"

"He said to tell you goodnight and he was excited to see you tomorrow, but I was too lazy to get up-" his spoon clattered.

You glance back, "Ah, Katsu this is Shou, Sho this is-"

• Katsuki is 😃

• Why are you fucking here???

• Aizawa is 😌

• I'm gonna use this to destroy you

"Jesus-" Katsuki groans. "No- no no-"

Shouta rubs his face, but he's internally jumping- oh he's going to use this to his advantage.

"What-?"

"You're dating my fucking teacher?"

"Wha- oh." You snicker.

• This is gold

• This is absolutely gold

• You are going to beat Aizawa ass later though, he's totally been overworking his class

• They walk into breakfast and your parents are like ????

• "Hey isn't that-?"

"Yes." Bakugou grumbles. "Yes it is."

• Honestly they'd both use it to their advantage.

• "I'll tell my sister if you ____"

• "I'll tell your sister if you don't _____"

• and when y'all get engaged and class 1a finds out that he's going to become bakugous brother in law, they flip their shit dude.

• Because one, Eiji was the only one who knew he had a sister and that he was dating bakugous sisterb

• mans walked in with his famiky to see his boyfriend and stopped dead in his tracks.

"M-Mr. Aizawa..why are- uhm- why are-?"

Bakugou grabs his hand, nodding at his mother's. "He's dating my sister."

"He's what?" He whispered, eyes widening.

"Tragic, I know."

• One time you had to bring him something bc he forgot it at your apartment that was practically his too at this point

• and you walk in

"Hey sho, you forgot this."

"Mm, thanks."

• Bakugou drops his head to the table

"Bye Katsu," you wave and smile. "By Ei, have a good day,"

"Please leave,"

"You too Bakugou!"

• "who was that?" Mina asks

"Bakugous sister,"

"My fiance,"

They said that the same time

• All hell breaks loose

• "The fact that bakugou has a sister is processed first- "she looks nothing like you how-"

"She has my dads brown hair. I have my moms blonde hair.'

• He's bombarded with questions

• he ignores them

• the fact that Aizawa is ENGAGED to bakugous sister- now that's gold

• and he's bombarded with questions too

• no he did not know you were bakugous sister

• he met you after school started

• at a fruit stand actually

• he proposed before Christmas

• yes, he asked for your parents approval

• yes he asked for bakugous approval, he said yes

• no, he didn't have kids

• but y'all did have a cat and a dog

• No Mina, I'm not showing you a picture of them

• because Ayoma, we're in class right now

• maybe after if you guys shut up

• Anyway Bakugou is the ringbearer for the wedding 🤪🤪

• Class 1A is invited

• Mic is the best man

• Your best friend is your maid of honor

• All might officiated it

• its a good time

[cupidcreates]

for the ask prompts! since this is a deku supremacy blog, lemme get #13, 19, 23, 48, and as a freebee: what’s our resident dekutie’s dirtiest secret? -😌✨

Hell yeah sparkles Deku supremacy 100% also I hope you don’t mind but I’m gonna add 22 and 26 onto here because I wanna talk about Izuku’s 🍆 and kinks I just love him so much 😭❤️

(Once again all characters are depicted as 18+)

13. If they could swap quirks with someone who would it be?

I think before Izuku had OFA he’d probably take any quirk if it had been offered to him; but now that he’s got All Might’s quirk he’s very attached to it. That being said, if he had the chance to switch quirks I’d say he’d either choose Tokoyami or Bakugou.

For Tokoyami we already know Izuku think’s he’s pretty cool; I think he digs the dark aesthetic Tokoyami has and wouldn’t mind taking Dark Shadow. It’s such a unique quirk that Izuku would absolutely use having it as a learning experience.

For Bakugou Izuku has a lot of feelings regarding their past, though they have definitely reconciled as adults he still has lingering guilt about being All Might’s chosen successor; even though he really has nothing to feel guilty about. He knows Bakugou admired All Might just as much as he did and he knows Bakugou still feels like he was the one to ultimately end All Might’s career. If he could give Bakugou OFA he definitely would (nevermind that he has before) Plus having Bakugou’s quirk wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, he is and has always been Dynamight’s biggest fan after all.

19. What are their biggest turn ons?

Izuku has a FUCKTON of kinks and as a result is very easily turned on, just lean into one of them and he’ll be hard in less than a minute. (His stamina and recovery time are off the charts though so please don’t try anything if you’ve got places to be soon, you WILL miss them)

Nothing gets Izuku harder than praise, but it has to come from very specific people and in very specific ways. A random civilian telling him they think he’s cool won’t do it but if his SO were to tell him the outline of his dick through his costume was turning them on you bet that’d get him there.

Izuku also loves seeing his SO in anything revealing. If you’ve got any type of cute lingerie don’t be afraid to pull it out. It drives him wild to see your body hidden by laces and frills and silk. Just don’t get anything All Might themed, contrary to popular belief Izuku does not want to be thinking about his father figure stand in when he’s about to fuck you into the mattress. Shocker I know.

22. What are their kinks?

Buckle the fuckle UP because I have got a LIST for y’all

Praise kink: As I said Izuku loves to be praised, it helps dispel some of his lingering insecurity and self doubt. It means the most when it comes from his SO, but he especially enjoys hearing praises about his body. Start in on how good pleasure looks on his face while fucking and he might just bust inside you right there and then. Speaking of...

Breeding: If you’ve got a vagina I suggest you be on some STRONG birth control because Izuku can’t go a day without pumping a load into you. This is his biggest kink, he absolutely adores the feeling of releasing inside of you, coating your insides with cum and feeling you clench around him.

And he’s not one to stop at a single round, oh no you’ll be there for hours getting load after load shot directly into you. Izuku is a responsible person of course, it’s not that he wants kids right away; but mimicking the act of it, or even just hearing you say you want him to finish inside you drives him absolutely wild. 

He just can’t help himself, he really can’t. He’d never ever pressure his SO into doing something they didn’t want to, so if you ask him to wear a condom he absolutely will with no hesitation. But if you’re into this kink be prepared to have it exercised frequently and often without warning. Izuku is a horny mother fucker with an intense sex drive, you won’t go a day without being bent over some piece of furniture.

Somnophilia: Izuku’s days are lengthy and difficult, he gets very few days off and very few breaks while on the clock. The number one pro hero does have to be constantly on top of things to maintain status after all, so in comes the issue of spare time and energy. 

Make no mistake; Izuku has enough stamina to work a whole twelve hour day patrolling and dealing with various disasters/villains and come home to fuck you for another three hours before finally succumbing to exhaustion, the issue is that you’re frequently already asleep by the time he gets home.

So Izuku breached the idea of Somnophilia with you, just as something you could potentially be interested in (definitely not taking this opportunity to exercise a kink he’s been keeping in secret for years now, no honey certainly not). Basically if you’re already asleep by the time he gets home you’ve got an agreement that he can use your body to get himself off should he desire it, and you’re welcome to do the same should you wake up in the middle of the night.

He’s ever so careful when he fucks you like this, choosing to play with you or eat you out so you’re wet enough for him. He’ll penetrate you slowly, so as not to wake you up, and grind himself into you for hours, using your body to edge himself before finally releasing inside of you. You’ll often wake up with him still resting inside of you, hard and leaking inside you once again. Which segways nicely into...

Cock Warming: On particularly lazy days, the ever so elusive day off, Izuku likes to spend the day snuggled up close to you watching movies on the couch. And hey, if his cock is buried deep within you while you’re doing that then it’s only an improvement. As I said Izuku has excellent stamina and a fast recovery time but he’s also got enough willpower to hold himself back while you squirm and whimper on top of him. In fact he loves watching you wiggle in his lap, trying to get something, anything, by way of pleasure. 

Izuku’s so thick he fills you out pretty nicely as well, any sort of movement even if it’s only a slight jostling or him re-adjusting his position will send sparks of pleasure up your spine. If you’re good he’ll grind himself into you, being sure to go excruciatingly slow, but don’t expect to be proper fucked for a long while. He just enjoys watching you come apart on top of him too much to give you what you want immediately.

Edging: While Izuku may enjoy pumping load after load into his SO’s pliant body, he’s also very much into edging. There’s just something about driving his partner to near orgasm only to stop just before they break that turns him on. He loves hearing you whine and squirm and complain about being so close, it only makes the look on your face as he finally lets you come that much better.

Overstimulation: Speaking of coming, don’t think he’s going to let you get off and then be done. No he’s the type to fuck you through your orgasm and directly into another one. He doesn’t particularly care when you say it’s too much, he’ll whisper sweet words in your ear about how well you’re taking him and how much you deserve to come again. He praise you to heaven and back while fucking your oversensitive body into the mattress, keeping your hands pinned above your head so you’ve got no option to just lay back and let him force orgasm after orgasm out of you.

Domination/Submission: Izuku Midoriya is a pure switch and no one can tell me any differently. He enjoys dominating his SO just as much as he enjoys being dominated. He’s not sure what turns him on more; forcing your face into the mattress as he fucks you from behind or having you force his head between your legs to use his mouth for your pleasure. Either way you can be sure he’s having a great time.

Face Sitting/Oral: Playing off his favorite body parts (found below) as well as his Dom/Sub kink, Izuku will frequently pull you onto his face and show you just how well he can eat you out. And wow does this man know how to give head, his technique is flawless and often has you coming in under a minute. A kinder man would let you up once you finish but you’ve seen this kink list, you’re not getting away from him until his face is soaked and you’ve come at least five or six times. 

Pegging: Izuku’s not all about penetrating his SO, he will very much let them have a go at him should they want to. He’ll let an SO with a cock top him any time they like and he’s got a myriad of dildos for an SO who needs a strap.

He’s a whiny bottom as well, squirming and gasping as he’s being driven into. He cums quick when he’s being penetrated, unable to hold himself back as he’s being fucked with everything you’ve got. Don’t go easy on him, otherwise he’ll flip you over and ride the strap himself. He’s a sight to behold when he does that so maybe do take it easy on him if you want a show.

Mommy Kink: Don’t fight me on this one Izuku Midoriya has a mommy kink and I won’t be convinced otherwise. This one is the one he’s most embarrassed about because he has NO idea where it came from. He just woke up one day and decided it would be SUPER EROTIC to call his SO Mommy.

He dials it back if this SO isn’t into that but if you’re fine with it then just go ahead and make that “Bitch I’m A Mother! No Drama!” tiktok trend yours because he’ll be calling you mommy every other minute he’s fucking you. And as we’ve already established, that is quite frequently.

Primal: Again I won’t fight on this!! Izuku Midoriya is into the predator/prey shit, deadass. This one he stumbled across last while with his SO, just playing a casual game of hide and go seek in the dark of their apartment (as adults do, you know. Listen sometimes you just need something new to do alright stop judging). He found pretty quickly that prowling around in the dark in search of you was incredibly arousing. His ears straining as he listened for any sound that could potentially give your location away, he started thinking of all the things he could do to you once he found you.

You, meanwhile, were of a similar mindset as you hid crumpled up in the corner of your shared closet. Your heart racing as you sat awaiting him, thinking about him tackling you to the ground and fucking you right there in the closet. 

Oh and he did eventually find you, crouched in the corner holding your breath as he stalked towards you on all fours. You made a break for it but he was much too quick for you and you quickly found your face pressed into the carpet, Izuku’s hot breath on your face as he ground his hard cock into your ass already pulling your clothes off you.

“Caught you kitten”

Voyeurism: Izuku loves to learn and the best way to do so is to observe and take notes. He’s been doing this for so long that it just becomes second nature for him to record something new he sees, muttering all the while. So it comes as no surprise that he enjoys watching his SO, you don’t even have to be doing anything interesting! You could just be putting the dishes away and he’ll be somewhere in the background, just observing.

Naturally this carries over into his sex life, Izuku is a voyeur and arguably has been for the longest time. He could spend hours just watching his SO touch themselves, mentally recording their movements and what get the greatest reaction from them. He’s got your masturbation habits down to a T at this point and can mentally go through your routine movement by movement.

Some days he won’t even touch you, instead choosing to let you get yourself off in various ways while he watches from afar. He especially loves when he’s shrouded in darkness and you’re illuminated by a soft light. It gives him a rush to think about seeing without being seen.

Clothed Sex: Izuku doesn’t like quick sex, I think at this point that’s evident. He very much prefers to take his time fucking you into oblivion, but if he does have to get it done quickly he enjoys clothed sex. Something about being completely dressed while fucking you in your work outfit/hero costume really sets him off. Bonus points if he comes inside you and you don’t have time to get cleaned up. He finds the idea of you going about your day with his cum leaking out of you incredibly arousing.

23. Do they have a favorite body part on their SO?

Izuku loves everything about his SO but he has a particular fondness for three things: Tits, ass, and thighs regardless of shape or size. (And yes my male/masculine enby readers, titties does include pecks)  

Did I mention he can’t keep his hands to himself? Because he can’t. He’s particularly handsy and loves to grope his SO from behind, mostly because this gives his hands access to their chest and his cock the ability to grind against their ass and thighs.

26. 🍆 Headcanons?

It’s always the quiet ones that have the biggest dicks, always. This man is hung sporting a 8.9 inch cock that’s thicker than a soda can. He’s aware of his size and as a result will always air on the side of caution when fucking his SO. The last thing he wants to do is send them to the ER with a bruised pelvis, the media would have a field day with that one. (Number One Pro Hero Deku breaks his partners spine with his massive horse cock! More at eleven!)

He’s not very veiny, having just a few small ones on the sides, but he does have a mass of freckles all over his dick, especially at the base. He’s a bit self conscious about this but honestly it’s adorable and you make a point to frequently tell him so.

He’s got the same thickness throughout so if it’s difficult to get the tip in (which it will be at first, regardless) it’s going to be difficult the whole way through. Keep a decent amount of lube nearby and you can manage it though, and he fucks so frequently that eventually your body will just take the shape of his cock and be ready for him at any time. Which makes life easier for the both of you. He also curves upwards ever so slightly, it’s barely noticeable until he’s inside you.

Izuku has an excellent diet as he’s kept pretty strictly to it for years now, only ever having junk food every now and again and in very small portions. As a result he is incredibly pleasant and almost sweet to taste. 

48. Which of the seven deadly sins do they most embody?

It’s not that Izuku is the embodiment of Lust or Envy, it’s more that he doesn’t embody the others in any way, shape, or form. His connection to Lust and Envy isn’t strong enough to be immediately noticeable but oh how it is definitely there.

First off; Lust. Did I say that Izuku can’t keep his hands to himself? I don’t think I made that clear yet, he can’t keep his hands to himself. Make no mistake he’s respectful and would never touch anyone without consent, but when he’s with his SO he can’t just have a simple and sweet cuddle session without groping them.

His envy would have developed at a very early age and even after gaining OFA it wouldn’t have gone away. He gets incredibly envious of the abilities of others very easily, being very aware that regardless of how much he’s improved everyone with a natural-born quirk would have had more time than him to hone their abilities. It’s why he takes so many notes, he constantly feels like he’s falling behind. The silver lining to this envy is that it pushes him to do better and work even harder on improving himself, though he’ll never stop feeling like he’s at a disatvantage.

50. Freebee: What’s Izuku’s dirtiest secret?

Izuku is a horny bitch and therefore has several dirty secrets he’s taking to his grave. His worse one would probably be the time he got his bullet vibrator stuck inside him and had to go about his day at work with it brushing up against his prostate constantly. Everyone just assumed he was overworked or maybe even sick at the time, but little did they know that every time he ran off to the bathroom he was actually just cleaning the cum from his costume.

It wasn’t all bad though, eventually he did run dry and ended up just shooting blanks for the rest of the day. He didn’t have to run off every time he came to clean himself off but he did get several odd looks when he was unable to hold back his grunts and moans.

Needless to say he gave his costume a thorough washing after that day.

Sorry this took so long! There were a lot of questions with this one and I added a few myself ❤ I love Izuku so much and I wanted to make sure his asks were good ❤ (With the amount of times I covered my face while writing this you’d think I was a virgin)

[fairytsuk1]

despite everything, it’s still you | (a)

character: tommyinnit

genre: angst

words: 1.8k

summary: tommyinnit is sent to the afterlife after being killed by dream, his experience as a broken soul in the afterlife is different than he'd imagined.

warnings: head injury at the beginning and it’s a bit graphically described! also depersonalization with the afterlife

notes: a bit different from my usual stuff but i had this idea and wanted to do it!

     The last thing Tommy's present body feels is his brain practically leaking out of his ears. The force with which his head is knocked into the ground is too strong, and he instantly blacks out. Dream's fists collided into him much harder than he thought, and it was even harder to try to block each hit as he was instantly overpowered by the godlike man. He just couldn't seem to get away. His soul might have even been connected with Dream's at one point; how could someone live every day of their life and always go back to the one who caused so much pain?  It's not a peaceful end; it's gory and sticky with blood splattered on the quickly growing pale skin. When Tommy opens his eyes, there's no Tubbo or blue sky; it's just white. The first thing he realizes is that he's not breathing, but he's not dying because of it. Because, well, he's already dead.

"Dream?..."

     His thoughts are there, at least the most important ones. There are some of them that blur together, like watching a movie on fast-forward and not pausing. He couldn't remember his life so far up to his death, and the panic was setting in; what man didn't remember their own life? Was he even Tommy?  A thump beats in his chest but looking down...there is no chest at all. In fact, there is no skin, bones, no solidifying figure that could tell him, "ah, I was a person."  Tommy doesn't even want to think about what would happen if he didn't know his own name. Would he be lost to time forever?

"What the fuck is going on…?" his finger jabs at the translucent blob of a figure, he's still got limbs, but he looks like a bucket of slime rather than a fleshed-out human, "Hah! I'm like fuckin' Charlie Slimecicle…"

      His humor hasn't left him, which warms his heart. Well, he supposes he has no heart as Tommy continues to poke and prod the gelatin-like substance he was hosting. It was weird seeing the ghostly shape of your own body, long legs, and big yet bony hands...it was freaky.

"This is just disgusting, actually. Fuckin' hell…"

     He stands and tries to ignore the way he feels weightless; it's depersonalizing. Makes him nauseous to think of how he doesn't exist in the mortal realm, but instead, he's here in some sort of blank space.

"Wilbur!"

     Walking, he realizes that he feels loose and lets out a laugh when he twists his body and finds it going farther than any human could. His ghostly capabilities were kinda cool! He had to focus though he needed to find a way to jump back down to Earth if he was dead. As much as he enjoyed being able to touch his toes and squat with his feet flat on the ground, the loneliness was starting to get to him.      Though he didn't say anything out loud, being dead was starting to get a little scary. Of course, the lead-up wasn't nice, and he's glad to be pain-free (though he does jerk out of shock once he realizes his head is caved in). There's something about being alive that is just so...he misses it, that's all.

"Wilbur!...Schlatt??"

     Tommy walks for a while with no changes to his atmosphere. For a moment, he thinks that he hasn't even been walking with the lack of environmental changes. That train of thought simmers to a stop as he spots a bench in the distant future, running towards it at lightning speed. There's no sound when he runs; his voice doesn't even echo. It's as though this afterlife has nothing in it at all. Like it's made of nothing. Like he's made of nothing.       He relaxes into the bench and smiles widely; if only he had his favorite disks! It's like being with Tubbo again, like being kids again! The warm touch of affection kisses his cheek as warmth spreads through him. When can he go back? He's so ready to go back.

"You know, Tubbo, I hope you're not all focused on Ranboo to forget about me! I mean, I'm that one that, you know, died!"

     Who is he speaking to? This afterlife is really getting to him, there is no Tubbo here, and there is no Mellohi. The smile fades as he glances around, white on white: white walls, floor, ceiling.

"Whoever the God here is, your heaven is shit."

     He shouldn't have said that. The bench rumbles, and he's shocked to see it crumbling underneath him. Chips of wood fly into space, and he scrambles off of it, watching it decompose his very own eyes.

"Ah, ah, wait! I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! Give it back! Give me my damn bench back, you bitch!"

     A bigger piece flies off and slices his hand, a glob of his fingers falling off and melting into the ground as he stands panicked. There's no blood, but it suddenly hits him. He isn't even human; this is all he has left. He's lucky to have his thoughts. That is his last tether to all he knows. If he lets himself be broken down, he'll never be human again. His time is limited. He has to find a way out.      

     His feet take off before he can even realize it, sprinting as he shouts for Sam, Tubbo, Wilbur, and even Phil.      

     But nobody came. No-one scooped him up and rescued him like they should've. He's only a child, for god's sake!

"What have I done to deserve any of this!? Let me go back! I want to go back!!"

     His voice is shaky as he spins, decomposed and blocky trees forming around him like corroded pixels. He could cry, but he's holding it back; Dream instilled that in him. The less you care, the better the ending. The trees fall in shards, and each one that touches him breaks off a piece of him. He's practically melting as he runs through the rain of pixels, each one hell-bent on destroying his soul.      Right now, he's no human. It's his soul in the purest form. His feet stick together before pulling apart, and he collapses onto the solid white ground. Everything jiggles, and he thinks he might pass out with the pure shock of taking in everything around him. His body ripples like water as he hears a faint and distant voice call for him.

    "Tommy?"

     A memory.         "My first decree, as the President of L'Manberg, the EMPEROR, of this GREAT COUNTRY! IS TO REVOKE! THE CITIZENSHIP! OF WILBUR SOOT AND TOMMYINNIT! GET 'EM OUTTA HERE!"

      Is that his savior? The one who's come for him? The one who caused his life hell in the first place? Well, maybe it was Wilbur who did that. Or Technoblade. Or even Dream, but Dream was his friend even though he struck him so hard he sobbed for someone to help him—

     "Hey, Tommy! What the hell are you doing, kid? Where the fuck's your body?"

     He's being hoisted up by his arms, and he pushes into Schlatt's chest as he cries and cries. The Ram hybrid grunts and mumbles something before pushing him back to hold his shoulders. He was never one for affection.      When Schlatt looks at Tommy, he knows this is the book's doing. Dream, the current owner of the book, had done this all in preparation. The easiest way to bring someone back was to only let their pure soul transfer on, everything else remaining the same.

     "It's easier than moving a whole body, right?"

"Whatever, just take the fucking book, man. I'm busy."

     Tommy's damaged. He's deformed, and his soul is hot to the touch. He's in agony. He didn't know he could sleep till it was over or relax. He tried to fix things and find a solution like he always does. Now, he was broken like he always was.

"Schlatt I...how do I go back? I don't want to be here anymore! It's fucking shit! And, and it hurts! This isn't some heaven; it's fuckin' hell!"

     Dream sat on the prison floor after arranging Tommy's body in a relaxed position, the book open in front of him.

     "Time to come back, Tommy."

     "Hey, hey! You listen to me! That fucker Dream, you have to be strong! He's messed you up, but this isn't the Tommy I know! You don't fucking cry, and you don't fucking get scared! You're the bravest kid I know!"

     Tommy feels flashbacks come to him, slowly but surely. Him rowing to fight Dream, the bravery he had when he fought him one on one. The first disk war...he was so brave.

     When he looks up at Schlatt, he sees the man he fought so hard against and won. He clocks in at that moment.

     I used to be someone. Now, I'm just like everyone else. Scared and weak.

     "You used to be someone, Tommy! You are someone! You just have...believe and know... you're stronger…!"

     Schlatt gets all twisty and turny, his vision fading in and out as he feels himself being dragged away from his arms. For a second, Schlatt reaches out, seeing his son in a box. He retreats and opts to yell out as Tommy fights to regain himself.       The strength is unrelenting as the young boy's head twists to see his arm pulled like taffy towards a glowing light. It's so pretty; he could almost just touch it and forget it all.

     "You are stronger than anyone else, Tommyinnit!"

     His head whips back, and he extends a jelly arm, his fight coming back to him.

     "If you fucking lose yourself, you'll lose everything!"

"If I lose myself, I'll lose everything…"        "You were made to beat this world, and don't you dare fucking forget it!"

     It makes Schlatt grin as Tommy's widened eyes get pulled as he's compressed into a singularity. There's a sudden pop, and Schlatt's knocked back as the white walls envelop him. He wants to yell more, but Tommy's already back where he belongs. He's already gone.

     "Tommy? Hey, Tommy!"

     His cerulean eyes open like he'd just drank an energy drink, a smiling mask staring up at him. For a moment, he wants to shrink back into the floor.

     "How was it? How was the afterlife?"

 If I don't beat him, how could anyone else?

     He snickers, "awful. I'm never going back there again."

     Tommy feels determination settle in his soul. After everything, he's still him. If he loses himself, he'll never be able to bring it back. So, the only other option is to fight.

     If I win, maybe then, I can know who I am.

[dailydaydreamings]

The Best in the Worst Way, Part 5

The Reader has been having a love affair with two Avengers and gets caught in a sticky situation. She’s suddenly faced with life decisions she’s not prepared for, including who to love, what she wants, and is this all worth it?

I felt like this took forever to write, even though I had it all planned out in my head. Please enjoy, K

“Again?” You sigh, as you slowly come to in the med bay.

“Again,” Bruce confirms, looking down at you over his glasses.

“You and the babies are okay, though, doll,” Bucky murmurs to your left. You turn your head to see him smiling down at you gently. His face was a complete bloody mess!

“What the hell happened to you?” You manage.

He pressed his lips together, suddenly looking very guilty.

“Oh what did you do?” You snapped.

“We’re not going to worry about that right now,” Bucky pulled away and you grasped his hand with a death grip. Glaring.

He’d been with Steve. If he looked like this, what did Steve look like?

Fucking hell how did it comes to this?

“This conversation is not over,” You snapped. You turned to Bruce, “Why does this keep happening?”

He shrugged, “Low blood sugar and iron deficiency, as far as I can tell.”

You blink, “that’s it?”

“That’s still very serious,” Tony said from the doorway, arms crossed.

You winced slightly, “How’s Peter?” The poor kid was probably a nervous wreck.

Tony leaned against the frame, “He’s fine, but we’re talking about you. You’re so not coming back to work.”

You sit up, “No, no, no. I’m fine, what do I have to do? Eat more? Take some supplements?”

Bruce glared at you, “Barnes, how many calories do you eat a day?”

You frown, looking over at your lover, who somehow said, “About eight thousand calories.”

Your eyes go wide, “Eight thousand?!”

You knew he ate a lot but eight thousand?

“All I’m saying is that you need to be eating more,” Bruce turned back to you.

“I’m fine with that!” You said, trying to quell a little bit of panic inside of you, turning to Bucky “But to clarify, did you just say eight thousand calories? Like in a day?”

“You don’t need to eat eight thousand calories,” Bruce said, “just more.”

You frowned back at him, “I didn’t think so, but I’m thinking about when these kids are born and they’re eating eight thousand calories. How much does Steve eat?”

“You’re fucking Steve too?” Tony barked from the door.

“Not the point!” You roll your eyes, “I’m seriously concerned about raising two teenagers eating eight thousand calories a day.”

“Really?” Bucky asked.

You throw your hands in the air, “How is this not a concern?!”

Bruce sighed, “We need to get back on track here. If you can get yourself under control, there’s no medical reason you can’t work.”

“See?” You point at Tony.

He just shrugged, “You’re working less hours.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, you typically worked a sixty hour week. Forty was less.

Bucky looked between the two of you, “Are you joking? You’re clearly not fine.”

You give him a death stare and he levels it. “I’m going back to work.”

He grinds his teeth, “This conversation isn’t over.”

You blink back in surprise. He couldn’t possibly, seriously be limiting your work because you were pregnant, was he?

You shake your head in response. The fucker, it was your body and if he wanted you to be sane, he’d want you to work.

“You’ll be meeting with the specialist next week,” Bruce says, “She’ll be able to give you a better run down of everything and give better recommendations because, and I’ll say it again, I’m not an expert.”

“So should we be waiting to meet with her to let y/n go back to work?” Bucky asked.

You sent him another death glare. What did he want, to keep you locked in a tower, barefoot and pregnant until after you gave birth? What was going to happen after you had the babies?

“How about this,” Tony steped forward, also giving Bucky a deadly side eye, “y/n comes back to work for half days until she meets with the specialist. And no weekends,” he sends a pointed eye at you, “Then, we reassess. Closer to your due date, we scale back responsibility and you train someone to take over for you during maternity leave, which you are taking.”

Which was a given, but still ground your gears a bit. Someone else doing your job, peeing all over your territory, the audacity.

“I guess that works,” Bucky said, which only made you grind your teeth a little harder.

“Perfect,” Tony clapped his hands together. “Y/n, there’s someone in the hall waiting to see you. I’ll go get them.”

As Tony made his exit, you looked up at Bucky, who in turn levelled your glare.

“I think I’ll go wait in the hall,” he said, before you could start a fight.

“Good call,” you snapped.

He stared for another moment, more hurt than angry before going into the hall. You rolled your eyes, leaning back in the gurney. How dare he be hurt? He was the one trying to limit your work.

“Um, Ms y/l/n?” A timid voice came from the doorway. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay?”

All hope that it could have been Steve melted away. You opened your eyes and smiled softly at Peter. He was the sweetest kid in the world, how could you stay mad? “Of course, come in.”

————

“Let me take an educated guess,” Sam said, coming up to Bucky, who stood arms folded over his chest down the hall from the room y/n was in. “Your little spat with Rogers has something to do with her.”

Bucky reaches up, feeling the cut on his forehead from where Steve had clocked him. “It has everything to do with her,” he admitted.

Sam nodded, folding his own arms and leaning against the wall beside Bucky. “Is she okay?”

Bucky sighed, he really hoped so. “I think so, she’s not feeling good these days.”

Sam nodded again solemnly, before turning to Bucky. “She’s pregnant, right?”

Bucky nodded. There really was no use denying it. You had told him no one could know until 12 weeks, but he wasn’t a liar.

“You were both sleeping with her?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t know who the father is?”

“Nope.”

“That’s why Steve’s mad?”

“No,” Bucky leaned further into the wall until he slid down to the floor. “Steve doesn’t want to be a father. And so he walked away from her...from us.”

It took everything to look up at Sam to make sure he got the meaning of his words. For months he wanted to tell someone about their relationship, but he’d always been sworn to secrecy.

Sam’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. He seemed frozen in thought, which made Bucky’s brain go into hyperdrive with worry, before saying, “Okay, the three of you were together?”

“Yeah.”

“Like a couple but with the three of you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, cool, I guess.”

Bucky laughed slightly as Sam sat down on the ground beside him.

“So how did this happen?”

Bucky laughed, “I have honestly no idea.”

————

Two years ago

“Who is that?” Steve asked.

Bucky’s eyes widened as he realized he’d been caught staring at the pretty girl Tony was giving a tour to.

“Someone Tony hired, I guess. That meeting tonight, were supposed to meet her,” Bucky said, watching you smile and laugh at something Tony said.

“Nice, nice,” Steve said, also equally transfixed. “So she’ll be around a lot?”

“I hope so,” Bucky admitted.

“You should ask her out,” Steve said.

Bucky froze. He could tell Steve was equally smitten with you and blurted our, “No, you should, she’d much rather go out with Captain America anyways.” And cursed himself immediately, he selfishly wanted you to himself.

“No, I couldn’t do that to you,” Steve said. “This is the first time I’ve seen you mooning over a girl since the forties.”

Bucky sighed, there was no way you’d be into him.

“Quick,” Steve hissed. “She’s coming over, act natural.”

Bucky tried his best to look normal as you walked over, and smiled effortlessly at the two of them, and said, “Hey.”

Bucky almost swooned right then and there as you continued you tour with Tony. He watched you leave with a longing to follow.

“Did you just get a text from Tony?” Steve asked.

Bucky pulled out his phone, and nodded as he checked the message.

It simply said, SHE’S OFF LIMITS.

That put an end to the conversation about asking her out for a while. But neither of them realized how much you had been mooning over both of them. From the moment you saw them, both staring at you. Two super soldiers, outwardly staring like you were the only thing in the world that mattered, you were just as smitten.

————

“If you touch me, I will rip that stupid metal arm off of you,” you snapped.

“You’re not to exactly walking in a straight line, sweetheart,” Bucky snapped right back, holding his hands up defensively.

You pressed your hand against the wall for a moment to regain your balance, before slamming your fist against it.

“Goddammit!” You shouted, as tears started to leak out the corners of your eyes.

“Y/n?” He asked tentatively.

You weren’t sure what finally caused it, but you were definitely having a complete break down in the middle of the Avengers compound.

No one seemed to be around, you pride was saved for now, but you braced an arm against the wall as a sob wrecked your body.

“Y/n?” He reached for you, gently—

“I said don’t fucking touch me!” You screamed, slapping him away. You walked a few passes away, your vision going red before you turned around, storming back, and saying, “How dare you? We aren’t living in the 40s, James. You can’t just limit me because I’m pregnant.”

He blinked at you, a sobbing mess sand asked, “Is this seriously what you’re upset about?”

You punched his chest, and he took it. “Of course not!” You turned back around, walking away as fast as you could and maintaining your wobbly balance.

“Then what?!” He yelled, following behind at an acceptable distance.

“Steve!” You shouted, spinning around to motion to his mess of a face. He’d clearly been hit a couple of times. “What the fuck did you do?”

Bucky took a step back, and said in a low voice, “I tried to make him see reason and he didn’t. I reacted, I’m sorry. Trust me, he looks much better than I do.”

You pressed a hand to your chest, a hollow feeling setting in. You felt like a piece of you was gone.

“I wanted to be the one to talk to him,” you rasped was another sob shook your body. “I trusted you to get him back.”

“I tried,” Bucky’s voice broke. You looked up to see tears streaming down his face. He looked so completely hurt and broken, you felt your heart breaking all over again. “You weren’t the only one he left, you know.”

Another sob bubbled over as you reached for him, pulling him into your chest and you both sobbed.

You weren’t the only one, because it had always been the three of you and know it was two. You had to stick together because it wasn’t Bucky’s fault, or even yours, that Steve left.

He’d made his choice, and you prayed he would change his mind.

————

One year ago

One year of working for Tony Stark and the Avengers, one year of innocent-ish flirting with Steve and Bucky.

That’s all it was, flirting. Quick quips and compliments in passing. Occasional close taking almost leading to kissing, almost. Dirty innuendo dropped as often as possible. Plans that never came to fruition.

You weren’t sure who you liked more, they were both equally delicious. They were friends, which complicated the matter because you knew they were both interested in you.

One year and you were sick and tired of tiptoeing around them. You stood in front of your wall-length mirror in a seriously scandalous dress, ready to take one of them home tonight. Even if it was just sex.

You smiled to yourself, grabbing your matching black clutch as you walked out of your apartment. Tony had sent a car, which made you feel like a movie star as you sat down. A true dream.

The Avengers annual gala, to raise money for areas affected by conflict and gain some positive press. You’d been too new to attend last year, but you had still been to many of Tony’s parties. This would be amazing no doubt.

It really did end up delivering. The compound was lit in only colourful lanterns, giving it a romantic, mystery vibe. Live music played low and slow and you were instantly handed champagne.

Although this was technically a work event, you wanted to still have some fun. You could mingle while you got trashed, and then you’d switch to the boys. You still hadn’t decided which one was coming home with you.

Your plan was executed almost to a T. You networked until you couldn’t anymore and you went to find the boys. You didn’t remember if you went to look for one or both, but you still found them together.

You remembered someone handing you another drink, and then another. There was definitely some flirting. You think you might have outwardly asked them, which one were you sleeping with tonight.

A bold question for sure. Drunk you was daringly aspirational, but also shameless and naive. She’d gotten you into a lot of tough and embarrassing situations in the past that you had to piece together the next morning.

The last thing you could remember was leaving, both boys on either side of you, laughing.

You worke up the next morning with the worst headache. Groaning, you opened your eyes to be surprisingly met with a very well lit room. That was definitely not yours.

Suddenly much more alert, you looked around to piece together where you were. This definitely wasn’t the first time. The nightstand was impeccably organized and clean. After that, you were facing a window and you recognized the scenery. You were still on the Avengers compound.

So who’s room were you in?

You shifted slightly, wincing at the feeling inside of you. Yep, you definitely had sex last night. How big were they if you could still feel it? Or how late were you up?

The next thing you became aware of, there was an arm around you and someone’s morning wood pressed against your ass.

Moving as slowly as possible, you peaked over your shoulder to see Bucky. Breathing a sigh of relief, you settled back into the pillows. Bucky was good, you slept with Bucky, you thought triumphantly.

And then, a strange epiphany came over you. Bucky’s left arm was made of vibranium. Whoever’s arm was around you was definitely too short to be Bucky’s and was their left, and definitely not made out of vibranium.

Definitely not Bucky’s!

You shot up in bed to see Steve snuggled in behind Bucky, who was starting to stir.

Oh this could not end well!

————

“So,” Natasha said, “you wanna tell me about your little theeway?”

Steve glared at her from across the plane as he iced his face. Bucky has unfortunately managed to land a couple of really good hits.

“No.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and asked anyways, “How long has it been going on?”

He sighed, clenching his fist in frustration, “About a year.”

“What? No anniversary?” She cocked an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes, “Not the typical relationship, is it?”

She laughed and shrugged, “I’m not one to judge. I’ve been in a couple threeways, for a short period of time, they can be fun.”

He nodded, letting his hand holding the ice drop, “It was just supposed to be fun. No drama, no labels, no expectations. It was fun, for a while.”

“Until one of you knocked her up?”

He shook his head, “I don’t care who did it, I want no part. Bucky seems perfectly happy playing house.”

Natasha wrinkles her nose, “Does this reaction have anything to do with Peggy?”

He glared at her, it had everything to do with Peggy. After bringing back the stones, he went to her and she told him to leave. She’d moved on without him. She had a life, one he was ready for, and she told him to leave.

When he got back, he wanted nothing more than to hang up the shield forever, but he had to do something with his life, right?

He felt so done and tired, and hurt, that he tried to shut himself out from everyone else, but that didn’t last very long. The team dragged him out and he was on his way to mission after mission, just living till the next day.

That was until the three of you had started hanging out. It was good to have something easy, people he could let his walls fall for and depend on. The sex was great, he’d never laughed so hard in his life.

And he definitely didn’t want to complicate it.

Just as children most definitely would. He’d been ready for it, once, but only with a certain someone. And she’d told him to go back to his time.

Wherever the hell that was? Where, in time, did he belong?

He’d always thought with Peggy.

With you and Bucky, it wasn’t the same. It was so far from traditional that serious, relationship drama seemed so far out of the question.

Until you told him you were pregnant while hanging over a toilet seat.

He’d never felt so nauseous and full of panic in his life.

“You’d give up the happiness you found in them,” Natasha said, “because you couldn’t have it with her?”

Steve stared her down, “Do you have someone you would drop everything to be with? And because you can’t be with them, everything and everyone else seems pointless?”

She looked uncomfortable, shifting in her seat self consciously before saying, “At one point, I did. Let me tell you one thing, though, even if I can’t be with them, I wouldn’t throw away any chance at happiness because of it.”

Tags

@fading-mentality-bouquet @a--1--1--3 @broco8 @yougottalovefandoms @hailqueenconquer

[echo-bleu]

Stubbornly Standing Only To Have Their Legs Give Out And Being Hastily Caught/Supported

Thank you for the prompt, Anon! This is very self-indulgent established-Malex hurt/comfort, I hope you like it!

On AO3

Michael has a little trouble keeping the soldiers away without using his powers, but Alex is a creature of wonder. He can only watch, as Alex blocks a blow with his forearm, then balances on his prosthesis to deliver a high kick with his left leg, clocking his opponent in the jaw. Michael feels more than marginally useless, only able to keep the men at bay with his few bar-fighting skills, but he can't afford to reveal his powers unless there's absolutely no other choice. These men and their colleagues would do anything to put him in a cage.

In the end, he takes down one of them, and Alex the other five, which is just ridiculous. When he looks up from kicking his guy one last time−just to check that he isn't getting up, of course−he finds Alex heavily stumbling to the back of the room, and sitting down on the computer chair there, one of the only pieces of furniture still standing inside the room. Michael does a quick sweep of the room, but all six men are clearly out for the count.

“Alex, you good? We have to get out of here,” he says, while stuffing his backpack with the files they've come to get. Alex had time to hack into the computer system and copy the entire thing onto a USB stick, which Michael quickly unplugs from the overturned unit.

“'m good,” Alex replies, but it comes out muffled. Michael turns back to him and finds him pressing a tissue to his mouth with one hand, while the other one prods at his ribs. He frowns. He glimpsed the soldiers getting a few hits in before Alex got to them all, but he didn't think it was bad. “You sure?”

“Ready?” Alex asks instead of answering.

“Yeah, I've got everything. Do we just leave them here?”

Alex removes his hand from his face to speak, wincing. “We can't call 9-1-1, and I doubt they will,” he says. “They'll wake up eventually.”

“That lip doesn't look good,” Michael remarks. Now that Alex isn't pressing on it, his split lip is gushing blood, and the left side of his face is already starting to swell up. He's going to have one hell of a shiner tomorrow.

“It's fine,” Alex says. “I'll see Kyle when we get home.”

“Come on, then.”

Michael is grateful that he has the presence of mind to wait a few more seconds before he heads for the door, because Alex's legs give out under him as soon as he tries to stand up. Michael catches him with telekinesis before he can fall all the way, and quickly closes the distance between them. “Alex!”

“I'm okay,” Alex coughs. His face says the opposite, his eyes tightly shut in an expression of pain.

“You keep saying that.”

“Just pushed my leg a bit too far.” Alex shifts his weight fully on his left leg, and extends an arm. Michael ducks under it to support him.

“Do you need a hospital?” he asks.

“No. Just to get off my leg.”

“And stitches for your lip,” Michael adds.

“Um.”

“Broken ribs?”

Alex sighs, his other arm still cradling his side. “Cracked, I think. I'll be fine.”

Michael rolls his eyes at that, but he helps Alex limp to the door. They make it to the car quickly, thankful that the street is mostly empty. Alex mumbles in relief when he's finally situated in the passenger seat, his leg extended and the seat's back pushed down to make it easier on his ribs. “You sure you don't need a hospital?” Michael asks again, sending off a quick text to Valenti to get his ass to the cabin with his kit before he starts the car.

“I've seen enough hospitals for a lifetime,” Alex answers. “This is nothing.”

“Right.” Michael doesn't call him out on his bullshit, because they can't really afford the questions showing up like this in an emergency room would bring, and he does believe that Alex would tell him if it was bad enough to be necessary.

Instead, he drives as fast as he can, while avoiding road bumps whenever possible, trying not to make it harder on Alex. Alex still winces at every turn and even lets out a couple of quiet moans.

“You were pretty badass out there,” Michael says, trying to distract him. It's the first time he's truly seen Alex put his training to use.

“I should have been faster,” Alex answers, his voice still muffled by the tissue he's pressing to his lip. “Damn leg.”

“What I saw was amazing,” Michael tells him−he's not above admitting how far beyond his league Alex is. “I had enough trouble getting the one guy.”

He thinks the vaguely wincing expression Alex gives him when he glances at him is supposed to be a smile. It's good enough.

He forces himself not to worry through the rest of the drive, though Alex seems less and less energetic. Valenti is waiting under the porch of the cabin when they make it there, so Michael parks the car as close as possible to the door. He opens both Alex's car door and the cabin's with his mind, and uses more than a touch of telekinesis to keep Alex stable as Valenti helps him out of his seat.

Between them, they get Alex onto the couch.

“What hurts the worse?” Valenti asks.

“Take off the leg,” Alex mumbles, breathing harshly.

Michael holds a hand up to stop Valenti from moving and unpins Alex's prosthesis with his mind. “Here,” he says, floating the leg out of Alex's pant leg and against the wall.

“I'll need to get your pants off to check your stump,” Valenti says.

Alex gestures vaguely to Michael again. Michael nods, grateful that Alex trusts him to do this in front of someone else. He unbuckles Alex's belt by hand and uses his powers to get his pants out from under him.

“Thanks,” Alex tells him. “You should go.”

“You sure?”

“Please.”

Michael sighs, but he obeys with a squeeze of Alex's shoulder. “I'll cook us some lunch,” he says, before heading to the kitchen. There's sincere gratefulness in Alex's eyes at his acceptance, and how could he refuse him? He understands Alex's need for privacy. He doesn't want to have someone watch Valenti patch him up, that's all. It's not personal.

Michael does his best to ignore the conversation going on in the other room−mostly one-sided on Valenti's part when he starts stitching up Alex's lip−by banging pans and cutlery more than strictly necessary. It doesn't last all that long, barely long enough for the pasta to cook, before Valenti sticks his head in the kitchen.

“I'm done here,” he says.

“He's good?” Michael asks, following him out.

“He's gonna hurt for a while, but his ribs are only cracked. Nothing life-threatening.”

“Good,” Michael nods.

Alex is settled back on the couch, his eyes closed, but he follows their moves with his head. He's not asleep.

“I'm not going to prescribe any more painkillers than he already has,” Valenti says. “But make sure he takes them, okay? And have him ice his eye. No prosthesis for a couple of days, at least.”

“Thank you,” Michael says, and it's heartfelt.

Valenti nods. “Take care of him. He doesn't take care of himself enough.”

They share a rare look of understanding, before Valenti gathers his bag and leaves.

“How are you feeling?” Michael asks Alex, sitting down carefully on the edge of the couch beside him.

“He gave me some Vicodin,” Alex answers, opening his eyes. “Doesn't ache as much.”

Michael doesn't miss his wince as he shifts, though. His ribs are more than just a little sore. “I'll get you some ice.”

He slips into the kitchen and comes back balancing an ice pack and the two plates of pasta he's prepared. “Up for some lunch?”

“I can try,” Alex says, touching the dressing taped awkwardly to his lower lip. “Kissing's gonna be a bitch.”

Michael gently places the ice pack over his swelling eye and guides Alex's hand to hold it in place. “We'll make it work.”

“Good. Cause they don't get to take that from me.”

Michael leans in to give him a peck on the corner of his mouth. “No they don't. I'm pretty sure you broke at least two of these guys' arms.”

“They asked for it.”

“It was hot.”

Alex's lips part in something like a smile. “Was it?”

“Yeah. You know what else is hot? The pasta. Eat.”

“Guerin, that was really awful,” Alex rolls his one open eye. “Gimme that plate. I can't move.”

“Should I feed you as well?” Michael asks, grabbing Alex's fork.

“You fucker, gimme that,” Alex laughs, then winces. “Ow. Fucking ribs.”

“Swearing like a real sailor over there.”

“Not a sailor,” Alex huffs.

Michael hands him the plate and fork this time, but Alex finds himself having to awkwardly balance it on his knee to keep one hand on the ice pack. “That's right, private. You're a pirate. You've got the leg down, you hack and rob people for a living, you don't even need a sword to be a badass, though you'd be ever hotter with one, and you've almost got the glass eye today. Ice eye. Maybe that ought to be your pirate name.”

Alex removes the ice pack from his face to glare at him with both eyes. “Seriously? You couldn't come up with a better name?”

“Nope. Ice Eye it is. My own alien-loving private pirate.”

“Mm,” Alex murmurs, leaning back into the couch, tiredness winning over him. “You better get me a sword next time.”

“As you wish,” Michael smirks, without even a doubt in his mind that Alex would be utterly deadly with a sword in his hand. “Right now, though, let's stab some pasta.”

Alex's disgusted glare is answer enough. He obeys, though, navigating a forkful of spaghetti bolognese around his split lip. Michael beams at him and grabs his own plate.

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

5 times people got an insight into Freed and Laxus’ marriage and one time the whole guild did.

For @bluejaii, who sent me the sweetest ask and for @aceofheartsworld who always leaves the most heartwarming comments ! 

1. Gildarts

On the unique times that Gildarts is present in the guildhall, there are a few things he likes to do. The first being showering his amazing daughter with love and support, of course. Making good use of the guild's alcohol supply is second and his third favourite thing, involves bothering the shit out of the youngsters. Wendy and Romeo are easy to fool, eager to believe anything as long as it's said by an adult (Wendy more so than Romeo). Others are unbotherable (he doesn't know how to tease Erza without gravely insulting her, she ticks in a weird way.) Elfman is very easy to tease (How's your girlfriend doing?) and flustering Juvia is the simplest thing in the world. Now, one of Gildarts' favourite victims must be Laxus Dreyar himself.

The youngster has always been a bit (a lot) defensive when it comes to personal relationships and it's only gotten worse with the years. So of course, Gildarts has been asking the young man the same question every time he sees him : "You married yet?" It never fails to ruffle his feathers and Gildarts' always hides his laugh when the other man starts to look at anything but him before stomping off to God knows where.

Because Laxus probably relates Gildarts to feelings ranging from lowkey annoyance to highkey annoyance, the youngster tends to avoid him. So it comes as a complete surprise when Laxus enters the guildhall, lays eyes on Gildarts and smirks. His surprise gets even bigger when the young man takes a seat right in front of him and says : "Let's talk old man."

Although he's a little put off by Laxus seeking him out, he's not about to let that deter him from bothering the man. Leaning back, he plans to ask his usual question, absolutely sure of its effect until he studies Laxus carefully. He has his hand propped up under his chin and his smile gets smugger when Gildarts' eyes land on his ringfinger. His ringfinger adorned with an actual ring. A wedding ring. On Laxus' finger. After a minor mindimplosion, Gildarts opens his mouth to scream. Laxus stops him by slamming a menu card into his mouth.

"Listen, I'm here for one reason and reason only", Laxus states and glares at him with eyes that are very, very alike to Makarov's when he's displeased. Fucking genetics. "Okay, shoot."

"You had one wife that you liked, right? Cana's ma." He nods. "She was the love of my life. Why do you ask?” For a long time, Laxus stares at him and Gildarts wonders if the other is evaluating how genuine he is. Then, he crosses his arms and lowers his head unto them. "My partner is amazing", he blurts out and after that, he starts a three hour rant about why he loves his spouse.

-

2. Cana

"Laxus, drink with me!" she yells before plopping down annoyingly close next to him on the bench, invading his personal space just a little bit. She knows it doesn't bother Laxus at all, but it does bother his greenie and Cana has decided that she has the full right to pester him in every petty way possible. Scanning the area, she comes to the conclusion that Freed isn't around. Bummer.

"It's the good stuff", she winks and he gives her an amused huff before shaking his head. "No thanks, I'm good." Sticking out her tongue, she slaps his bicep. "Boo, where did your sense of adventure go? Your tongue for excellent beerrrr", she says while obnoxiously rolling her r's. "I think my husband wouldn't appreciate it too much, should I arrive at home drunk. I don't want to arrive home drunk either, because it makes my memory spotty and you best believe that I do not want to forget a single moment with my spouse."

Oh god. Laxus Dreyar isn't even drunk and he's already sappy. Looking at the clock, Laxus hums before ruffling her hair and standing up. "Dinnertime's rolling around and I'm not a lowly fucker, so I'm going to help my husband. You have fun, Cana." Watching his retreating back, Cana mutters : "Need me a freak like that."

-

3. Gajeel

On some subconscious level, Laxus still makes him feel a bit jittery. They've both been absolutely shitty, turned around and became less shitty. They have even regularly fought the same fights and Gajeel has teased the man quite a bit (as long as there were other people around). Doesn't mean that his body has forgotten what getting electrocuted felt like. So, one can understand that Gajeel felt an itty bitty nervous when Laxus stormed into the guildhall and then in his direction.

"Gajeel." His hope that the man was seeking out someone else leaps out of the window. "What", he snaps back and the other man's jaw tightens. "Your bookworm." Immediately, the protectiveness flares up, nervousness forgotten. "What about her?"

"She likes books."

What. How the fuck does this man's brain work? Looking at Laxus, who's running his hand through his hair and huffing in frustration, he decides to shut up until the guy finds his words. He doesn't seem to be that good at it. "You guys went to that book convention two towns over a few days ago. Did she think it was worth it?"

Laxus being the reading type? That's one that Gajeel did not see coming. Then it hits him like a freighttrain and he cackles. "Need a place to take your boyfriend to? Don't worry, I won't tell a soul."

"My what? I don't have a boyfriend." Oops. Turns out he was too fast. "My bad, but seriously ask Freed out, he'll say yes. Not to overstep any boundaries or something, but you deserve happiness and shit. People tell me that a lot, so I thought I'd relay the message." The corner of Laxus' mouth turns up and Gajeel mentally pats himself on the back. God, he's good at this. He should start making motivational songs.

"Thanks, my husband tends to tell me that too." Then he leaves. The jackass.

-

4. Lucy and Natsu

It's a mystery. An enigma. A plotline more intriguing than anything she'd cooked up lately. What is this baffling conundrum Lucy has been trying to unravel? Laxus Dreyar's dating life.

Okay, maybe it isn't that big of a deal, but the man is surrounded by the prettiest people in the world (Mirajane, Cana, to name a few) and doesn't seem to be too interested in them (she can't relate). If she were less... cautious, she would've asked him about it by now, but alas, she's still a bit of a chicken sometimes. Sue her.

"Lucy, what are we doing?" Natsu flatly asks her. "Spying on Laxus", she whispers back and Natsu hums. "Understandable. Why?"

"Do you think anyone is interested in him?" she asks and wonders if the intricacies of romantic attraction even register in Natsu's head. His answer absolutely floors her. "Lucy, there's only two types of people who haven’t had a crush on Laxus once in their live and those are the ones that aren't into men. Or are too cowardly to admit it. Luckily for me, I'm neither of those."

"You had a crush on Laxus?" He rolls his eyes. "Keep up with the plan Luigi, of course, just like ninety percent of the guild. You've ever thought he's hot?" She admits: "Yeah, like once or twice."

"See Lucy, now you're getting what bi/pan solidarity is."

"Bonding over how hot Laxus is?"

"You might as well start calling it bi/pan/gay solidarity then", a new, terribly amused voice says above them and Lucy lets out an "Eep!" and hits her head against the table. Crawling from underneath it, she and Natsu come face to face with Freed Justine, who's looking both too entertained and smug.

Refusing to let go of her pastime, Lucy puts her hands on her hips and faces the captain. "What's Laxus' dating life like?" she demands to know and Freed shrugs. "I wouldn't know, he doesn't have one."

"Oh", she pouts and he chuckles. "If that's all, I'm gonna join the subject of your espionage." Right before he leaves, he looks over his shoulder and adds : "Since his dating life is nonexistent, you should ask him about his marriage."

-

5. Wendy

The flyer picturing the fair looks positively radiant and Wendy can nearly smell the candy apples and other sugared goods. It's a shame she won't be able to go though, because her team will be going on a mission and it's too far and dangerous for her to travel alone. A shadow alerts her of someone standing behind her and when she whirls around, she comes face to face (well more like face to chest) with Freed.

He too is staring at the poster and shyly she says. "It looks fun, doesn't it? If I were able to go, I'd take someone dear with me." Her voice must've sound a tad bit too longing, because he glances in her direction and asks : "Are you not able to go?" She shakes her head. "No, my team will be away and it's too far to go without adult supervision."

"I could go with you, if you do not mind my company, that is. Ah, I'll be taking someone dear to me along too, so you could invite Chelia if you wanted too." More often than not, she curses her face for revealing exactly what she's thinking, but right now, Wendy is over the moon. "Thank you mister Freed!" she yells before giving him a hug and speeding off. She's gonna have a blast with Chelia!

"Seems like our babysitters are tired", Chelia grins before shrugging. "Eh, at least we got candy out of it." As the two of them share their candy, Wendy looks at the scene in front of them. With an amount of skill that she certainly hadn't expected, Laxus is pinning Freed's hair up with a hairpin that he'd won a little while earlier. The light reflects off the pin and the rings adorning both men's fingers.

"Hey Wendy", Chelia says, laying her head on Wendy's shoulder. "When we're old like those two, let's be like that." Putting her hand on top of Chelia's and weaving their fingers together, Wendy nods sleepily. "Let's do that."

-

+1 Makarov or actually, + the whole guild

"Hey Gramps, you mind if we throw a guild party?" Well, aren't those words he thought he'd never hear out of his grandson's mouth. "You do whatever you want brat, as long as you can pay for it. What's the occassion?"

"Oh I got married."

"You what?"

(They get to hold the party and yes, Makarov cries over his grandsons. Both of them.)

[bangtansmysuperhero]

take me home - chapter 1

take me home (best friend AU) | ongoing updates

I was going to break up with him, I really was. I even told you that yesterday, that I was going to break up with him. But I couldn’t. Not even for you, Kim Taehyung.

Copyright © 2020 bangtansmysuperhero

prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | epilogue

----------

chapter 1

present-day

“Are we still on for tonight? 7:00?” I asked my best friend, Taehyung, over the phone as I tried to balance myself on one foot to take off the other heel.

“You know I’ll be there. Just you and me, right?”

“You, me and Joonie,” I pursed my lips, not liking where this was headed.

“Ah, Kim Namjoon. The imaginary boyfriend whomst the great Y/N has been dating for the past few months-”

I rolled my eyes. “27 months. 2 years.”

“Whomst I have met maybe twice-”

“You’ve met him-”

“Once. It was just once wasn’t it?”

“No-”

“Whomst made you cry because- wait why did the fucker make you cry again?”

“Whomst isn’t even a word! Taehyung-ah!”

“Y/N-ah.”

“Yes, Tae?”

“Why are you still with him?” I let out a huge huff of air and stared at the clock on my stovetop. 5:42.

Why was I still with him? “I have to start making dinner now,” I said defeatedly as my eyes wandered to the note on the fridge and hung up.

----------

I mindlessly stirred the spinach in the pan to sauté it. Looks like Taehyung was going to be right again: Namjoon wouldn’t be able to make it to dinner again. It would seem that Namjoon cancelling on dinners with Taehyung was a normal reoccurrence, but Namjoon cancelling on dinners with me was no different. The countless nights I spent sitting in our apartment in silence, watching the food get cold, definitely outweighed Tae’s count and it wasn’t even a number’s game that I wanted to win.

Tae was annoyed and annoyed for me. Yet I couldn’t even get annoyed if I wanted to. Joonie had been working overtime these past few quarters to make sure he had the results to prove that he was worthy of a promotion. “I’m doing this for us,” Joonie murmured against my lips as he held my face in his hands. “We could move out and into a better apartment if I get promoted. And maybe even start a family. Don’t you want that?” I had no choice but to nod at the time. He was trying to give us a better life, was I supposed to oppose that? “I love you, Y/N-ah. Please be patient with me.” He kissed my forehead and then gazed into my eyes. “Please, baby.”

“Love you too, Joonie.”

I did. Despite spending many nights alone waiting for him to come home and have dinner with me, I really did love Namjoon. He was the perfect boyfriend. He remembered all of my preferences, changed most of his to suit mine, always knew how to make me feel better, never looked at other girls, and he never made me feel insecure. But best of all, he saw a future with me: a future he was working very hard at, for me. He was the perfect boyfriend when he was around.

However, those late nights didn’t always end up in an embrace. The lock clicked and the doorknob turned, the front door opened to welcome a staggering Namjoon into our apartment. Our eyes met as I was clearing off the dinner table. “Y/N-ah, were you waiting for me? You shouldn’t have.”

“Where were you?”

His grin dropped and he scoffed while wrestling with his tie. “At work. Where else would I be?”

“You were drinking at work?” My brows furrowed in disbelief and I turned around from the fridge.

“We had to entertain some clients tonight.”

“Right… And you couldn’t have told me that?” I slammed the fridge door closed and went to clear off the rest of the dinner I made.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that. Y/N-ah,” Joonie cooed as he walked towards me and the food I made for our anniversary. “Did you make this?” His dimples showed as he leaned over me and tasted the food. “Ah, brisket?” The hand on my hip gave me a familiar squeeze. He licked his fingers and said, “It’s delicious. A little cold though.”

“Of course it’s cold, it’s been sitting on the table for a few hours now!” I gritted my teeth and set the food back down on the table, pushing him away from me and stalked to our bedroom. It was going to be my room tonight.

Namjoon’s footsteps followed mine and he tried to grab my arm to stop me but he wasn’t fast enough. “Why? It’s late. You should’ve-”

“I was waiting for you!” With that, I slammed the door in his face and locked it.

At least he left me a note this time: Don’t wait up - Namjoon. “Asshole,” I muttered. Suddenly I felt hands on my waist and lips hovering my ear, causing me to shriek at the contact.

“Are you going to stir that? It’s burning.” I whipped my head around to look at the assailant and saw Taehyung raise an eyebrow at our dinner and then back at me.

I put my spatula down and whacked my best friend’s arm. “You scared the shit out of me, Taehyung-ah!”

“I did knock,” he pouted as I wriggled out of his hold.

“How did you get in anyway?” I poured the rest of the ingredients into the pan, hoping that the spinach was still edible.

“You left your door unlocked again.” Tae spun me around and had a stern look on his face. “How many times do I have to remind you to lock your door? Hmm?” He tucked some of my bangs behind my ear and surveyed my eyes and briefly my lips as I bit them, nervously awaiting a reprimand for my carelessness. When I didn’t answer him, he pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “Did you miss me?”

I looked up from his chest and hastily nodded. “Did you miss me? Or were you too busy in Los Angeles to remember your best friend? Hmm?” I placed my head back on his chest where his heart beated heavily and poked his ribs when he least expected it, making him shudder and groan.

“Y/N-ah! Aish! Why would I have been too busy in LA?” He rubbed where I poked him and began to wail dramatically. “You’re my best friend and-”

“I’m your only friend,” I looked up at him with a blatant poker face, earning me a glare.

“You’re my best friend and the only one I care to talk to,” he declared.

“That is such a lie, Tae!” I scoffed, hitting his chest.

“What?! How is that a lie? You are my best friend and the only one-”

“Remember Tania?” I tried to escape his embrace to cross my arms but failed as Tae tightened his embrace of me.

“Who?” His face contorted in a genuine state of confusion, trying to remember who Tania of our summer ‘19 New York City trip was. “Tana-”

“No, not Tana. Tania!” He furrowed his eyebrows and still had no clue who I was referring to. “We went to New York last summer, you guys met at a Starbucks, and had me third-wheeling for the entirety of our trip!”

“Tania?” I nodded with affirmation. “You mean Tina?” Who? “You weren’t third-wheeling-”

“Oh yeah, I sure as heck wasn’t third-wheeling you guys when she was all like, ‘TaeTae, can you come in here and help me with this dress? I think the tag got caught with the zipper,’” I raised my voice an octave higher and channelled my inner valley girl, flipping my hair from side-to-side.

“I sure as heck am sure that I most definitely came that day,” he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

“Oh my god!” I hit Taehyung’s chest again in disbelief. “You’re so gross! Let go of me!”

“Come on, Y/N-ah. You know you love it,” I was almost out of his hold when he turned us around and trapped me between him and my kitchen counter.

“No, I don’t!” I squealed and wriggled. My back was against his front and a very prominent bump on his front was against my back. I froze but my breathing became more frantic at the sudden realization that I was essentially grinding on his dick. What a dick it was… Oh my god! Y/N, what are you doing?!

“Really?” Taehyung swept my hair back and held it in his hand while stroking the side of my neck with his thumb. I couldn’t answer him. What was he even asking? I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn’t. “I asked you a question, Y/N-ah,” Tae’s voice dropped an octave and I felt my legs begin to weaken their stance.

“Huh-uh,” I swallowed. Oh my god, am I salivating right now? His close proximity allowed the scent of his cologne, shampoo, or maybe even his aftershave to fill my nose. Mmm. Me likey. So woodsy and masculine, just so Tae. I felt myself pulse, but that was just my body telling me that I’m alive right? Right?!

“So answer the question then, sweetheart.” He murmured into my ear, his soft lips brushing against my earlobe before he dipped his head into the skin he cleared from my hair and planted a chaste kiss behind my ear. And I shuddered internally and externally. Fucking hell, what is he doing?! Stop this, Y/N!

“W-what was the question?” I closed my eyes and my lips parted carefully not to make any sounds that I wasn’t supposed to make. My best friend didn’t answer me. Instead, Taehyung placed another chaste kiss on me, this time a little lower than the last and with more suction. And another. And another. And another. And then his lips backtracked on my skin, lingering once they reached the sensitive skin behind my ear. “T-taehyung-ah…” Fucking hell, just fuck me.

“I’m not sure Namu would appreciate that,” Taehyung’s lips lifted off of me briefly.

“Huh..?” Wait, what? Put those suckers back where they belong, I demand it!

“But I’m not here for him, am I?” Him? Oh my god, Namjoon! My boyfr- Taehyung sucked on my sensitive spot harder than before and I screamed.

“Tae!” My hand came down from gripping onto his arm as I threw my head back into him and made accidental contact with the pan. Shit, my hand! “Fuck! Taehyung, stop!”

He stopped immediately as if he was the one whose hand got scorched and growled, “Why?!”

“The spinach!” It was definitely not edible.

----------

author’s note: what do y’all think of our little incident here? a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? please follow, reblog & like this story if you’d like to see where this goes!!! it really does help with motivating me in the writing process <3 the next chapters will be at least doubled in length for some character development. also, i love me some joonie irl but he’s not the ideal man for Y/N in this fic... or is he? xxx, LALA Jan. 28/20

word count: 1747

[tsilvy]

I want to talk a little bit more about the graveyard scene, because this opening has SO MANY LAYERS it would require ages to unpack.

I think we concur that Crowley never wanted the world to end, in general terms, and from the way they talk, you'd say they were somewhat fearing/waiting for this to happen, what with the 6000 years thing after the first war and all, but having it actually set off is another thing. And how does he react? Like, in the heat of the moment?

First let’s go back to a few exchanges before that (x):

Crowley arrives cool as a cucumber (at least on the outside), recounts his deeeeds, then sees the basket. And this is what he looks like before he can control his emotions:

His face, his control, his whole demeanour, fall, entirely. He even gets to say NO. and Already?, which, if you ask me, aren’t clever things to say out loud to a demon who’s handing you the Antichrist you’ve supposedly been waiting for for 6000+ years.

SO WHAT exactly has to be going through Crowley's mind when he's shown the Antichrist? He's scared as heck, sure, and quite likes this planet and he's desperately trying not to be the designated deliverer but... ALREADY?!?

WHO could he be thinking of when he says that? ALREADY?! We were starting to enjoy this. We were doing good. In maybe another 1000 years we would have been fine, I’m sure.

In the face of imminent catastrophe anyone would think of those closest to them. Try to imagine being in Crowley's immortal shoes and thinking you have all the time in the world, enjoying Earth, loving Aziraphale with all you have and giving him space, avoiding going too fast because you love him so damn much, and whatever is good for him is good for you, and because YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

And then these fuckers come and tell you Here, another eleven years and it's the end, game over, I hope you enjoyed your time and tied your loose ends because 6000 years is all there ever was, and if you didn't then joke's on you.

Waking up and being thrown headfirst into the human experience of not having enough time. Imagine him mentally going through all the years they've wasted worrying about Heaven, Hell, being found out, being hurt, when THERE WAS NO POINT, because everything is going to end anyway and even if they survive they'll be on opposite sides and they could've been together all this time and they didn't even outright admit their feelings for each other.

And look how quiet and uncharacteristically silent he is when he signs the contract, which physically hurts him at that (more meta on that here). He’s in a world of his own by then, merely repeating random words from Hastur but already thinking of the implications, and I wish we could have seen his eyes here, because he’s hiding so much behind those sunglasses right now.

OF FUCKING COURSE he's about to break down (per the script book) when he tries to convince Aziraphale to help him and realizes he isn't budging that easily. And YES I KNOW at the Ritz he's looking at Aziraphale like he needs to swallow him whole this very moment, but Crowley also looks so on edge, literally and metaphorically, because now that he's put him in a good mood he can't wait, can't wait to try and convince him once again that something needs to be done to stop the Apocalypse.

I think he's seeing hope here while he didn't yet at the graveyard (his optimistic side or his desperate one?), because he can't lose this, he won't allow it to happen. And I think it’s no coincidence that he’s so alcohol-happy later on; the clock is ticking and he doesn't like it.

[dahliawolfe]

Djinn

Pt. 3

“Freya! Get down!” Sam shouts, pushing Freya down, just as a glob of Arachne venom shoots right at her face.

“Not fucking again,” Freya growls.

She rolls to her feet and reaches for the machete at her side. Sam is crouched beside her, machete gripped firmly in his large hand.

“You ok?” he asks, breathlessly.

“Hold on,” Freya replies, standing up and striding over to the Arachne, who has Dean cornered. Her footfalls are silent as she approaches. When she’s within distance, she swings the machete, taking the head of the creature off in one clean stroke. Without missing a beat, she turns back to Sam.

“We need to talk.”

…

“So, we’re thinking Gabriel, right?” Sam asks.

“Maybe. Or not. I don’t even know anymore. Where are we this time?”

“San Luis Obispo.”

“Great. Ok. Well, this is the third time that I’ve gotten ‘game over-ed’. And honestly, I’m sick of it. We need to figure it out.”

“Sweetheart, we will. I promise,” Sam assures, rubbing her back gently.

“Sweetheart?” she asks, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I always call you sweetheart. You are my wife, after all.”

“Your w…” Freya chokes. “Wife?!”

“Of course. You don’t remember?”

“Sammy, she just told you she’s not from this time line,” Dean interrupts, sensing the distress coming from his brother.

“Right. Yeah. Of course. Look, I’m just going to go do some research. You…you stay with Dean. And stay safe,” the younger brother says dejectedly, leaning over to peck Freya’s forehead.

“Sam! Wait!” Freya rushes, hurrying to his side. “I’d be lucky to have you,” she swears, lifting onto tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He gives her a small smile.

…

“I’ve got it!” Freya whoops hours later, as she sits at the wobbly kitchen table of their motel room. Dean looks up amused.

“Oh, yeah? What is it, Columbo?”

“Djinn.”

GAME OVER

“NO! What the fuck?! No!” Freya screams. She’s in the Impala, laying stretched across the backseat. Dean swerves violently at her shrieks.

“Frey! What the hell?! Are you alright?!”

“No! It’s a Djinn! We have to wake up! We have to kill it!”

“Sweetheart, calm down. It was a nightmare. We got the witch, ok. It wasn’t a Djinn. You hit your head. But it’s alright. You’re safe,” Dean consoles, rubbing her leg gently.

“No, Dean! You gotta believe me! It’s a Djinn!” Sam and Dean share worried glances between the two of them as Freya continues on with her hysterics.

…

Dean and Sam are not convinced this time like they had been before. After getting Freya calm, they turn the car around and make a beeline for Bobby’s house, assuring Freya that they are going to take care of her. Sam is researching possible spells that would cause insanity. Dean is nervously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, casting worried glances in the rearview mirror at Freya. And Freya, well Freya is panicking. She has to figure out how to convince the boys that it is a Djinn before it’s too late. But most importantly, she has to make sure that she wakes up. Because she’s not sure they have too long left.

They arrive at Bobby’s near dusk, and Freya is a ball of anxiety by the time they park in the yard. She knows she needs to stay calm, but she also knows that she can’t. The anxiety is fueling her right now. Making her brain fire a million miles an hour. And it helps. It also makes her extremely paranoid, but mostly, it makes her hyper aware how fast the clock is ticking.

Bobby greets them at the door, offering Freya a warm smile and wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Let’s get you a drink. I think you need one, Kid,” he instructs, leading her to his library.

…

“Suicide is never the answer,” Freya frets, pacing the floor. Back and forth. She’s in one of Bobby’s upstairs rooms, while the men strategize. Freya knows the solution to a Djinn induced dream. But what if Dean is right? What if it isn’t a djinn? She would be killing herself for nothing. And she would be destroying the Winchesters and Bobby for life.

But she can’t be wrong. Can she? No. She knows she’s right. She knows that this isn’t Gabriel. She knows that this isn’t a spell gone wrong. Her gut is telling her so. So, she knows that there’s only one way to stop it. Reaching under the bed, Freya draws out one of the guns that Bobby keeps hidden around the house. She locks the door, and when she hears Dean’s footsteps coming up the stairs, she knows that she has to hurry.

…

With a gasp, Freya snaps awake. She’s so weak she can barely hold her head up. But she’s awake. And she knows that she’s where she’s supposed to be this time. And the memories come rushing back. The missing teens. The empty grain barn. The djinn.

And there he is, smirking at her from across the dark room, his eyes glowing.

“Well, well. Look who’s awake.” He taunts.

“Why don’t you take these ropes off so I can kick your ass, you blue piece of shit,” Freya hisses weakly. She knows that she’s lost too much blood. And she knows that she’s not going to make it much longer, but this dude really is a fucker, and she’s going to go out with a swear on her lips and flipping him the bird. Cuz dammit, blood or not, she’s a Winchester, and that’s what they do.

The djinn comes closer, blood lust clear in his eyes, and Freya steels herself as much as possible. “Such a dirty mouth for such a sweet girl. Blood like honey.” He licks his lips grotesquely, sniffing her neck. Freya attempts to kick him in the balls, but her body doesn’t have the strength to complete the task, so her leg falls limply in front of her.

Freya sees movement in the corner of her eye and catches sight of a very pissed off Dean. She smiles inwardly and does her best to hold the Djinn’s interest.

“Oh, yeah? Then why didn’t you finish the job? Can’t get it up like you used to, huh? Old age is a bitch, ain’t she?” The djinn grabs her around the throat, and Freya smiles, blood seeping through her teeth. She watches in delight as Dean pierces the djinn with his blood soaked silver blade. And knowing her job is done, she lets herself slip away.

҉

“Where the fuck am I?” Freya grumbles, scrunching her eyes against the bright light.

“Limbo. The in-between. Whichever you prefer,” a voice says. Freya snaps her eyes up. She meets the melted chocolate eyes of a beautiful woman.

“Right. Ok. And who are you?”

“I’m Billie. But that’s not important. What’s important is, it’s not your time, Kiddo. You have to go back. The world needs you.” Freya laughs.

“ ‘The world needs me’? What kind of bullshit is that?”

Billie smiles. “You’ll see. The Big Man has plans for you, Girl. So, wake up.”

…

Freya’s eyes snap open to stare straight into fluorescent lights.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Dean breathes. She turns her head to look at him. He looks haggard. His jaw is covered in stubble, and his eyes are red and blood shot.

“You’re awake,” Sam adds, approaching from her left. He doesn’t look much better than his brother.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave you two. You’re hopeless without me.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what you dreamed about when that son of a bitch had you?” Dean asks once Freya is released from the hospital and lounging on a hotel bed.

“Nah. It’s pretty boring shit.” Dean frowns at her.

“I was scared, ya know? I thought that we were going to lose you.” Freya strokes his cheek.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. But you got to be my knight in shining armor. You ganked that bitch and wooed the damsel.”

“Oh, did I?” Dean asks, grinning.

“You bet,” Freya replies, pulling him down for a kiss.

The end

word count: 1370

[lets-talk-appella]

Come Home to Me (part 3/3)

Summary: I told you, it’s going to be brutal. It’ll be okay, though, I swear. 

Thank you guys so much for all the wonderful feedback I’ve gotten on the first two parts. I never imagined it would turn into something like this. I seriously appreciate it. You’re the best.

Part 1

Part 2

Word Count: 2.8k

AO3 and FFN

Beca’s funeral is closed-casket, of course. It has to be.

The flowers are nice, Chloe thinks. BFD had donated black roses, which Beca would have claimed to hate but would have secretly loved. Beca’s father had sent a simple bouquet of lilies but hadn’t bothered to show up at his only child’s funeral; he’d never quite forgiven her for marrying another woman. It makes Chloe’s blood boil, but she imagines Beca’s hand smoothing between her shoulders and she’s able to remain calm. Jesse and his wife, flown in from LA, also brought flowers, a stunning arrangement of blue orchids. And, of course, each of the Bellas had contributed various plants, and, in Lilly’s case, a nice windchime.

The turnout (despite the absence of Beca’s father) is good, though Chloe knows Beca would have been uncomfortable. She never did like being the center of attention. Chloe has met pretty much everyone Beca has ever worked with, including some pretty high-profile music artists, though she can’t bring herself to be excited about meeting the celebrities. Not under these circumstances. She’s also met Beca’s favorite high school teacher, Mr. Winchester, and Beca’s best friend from grade school, Rachel. She was surprised to see Kimmy Jin, Beca’s freshman year roommate, but she appreciates it nonetheless.

All the Bellas are in attendance; they’ve been staying with Chloe the last few days. Aubrey had pulled Chloe into a hug the instant she’d arrived at the house the night of the accident, Stacie and Flo not far behind. Amy had arrived the next morning, more somber than Chloe had ever seen her, along with Lilly and Cynthia Rose. Jessica and Ashley had come that afternoon, as had a stunned-looking Emily. Normally, Chloe would have been overjoyed at the reunion. Beca certainly would have been. As it is, she can barely bring herself to look at them. They only remind her of what she’s lost.

Chloe would give anything to forget what Beca had looked like the last time she’d seen her. She desperately wishes her final memory of Beca had been how she’d looked before work on the morning of the accident; a little tired, but smiling, happy, and alive. But no. That would be too easy. Instead, her last impression of her wife’s appearance is Beca’s body lying on a hospital bed, her entirely covered in gruesome burns from the explosion. It’s seared into her mind forever. At first, Chloe hadn’t even recognized the face of the person she loved most in the world. She’d briefly wondered if the hospital had somehow made an awful mistake. But then she’d caught sight of Beca’s titanium wedding band on the stranger’s ruined hand, and she’d known.

She’d known when it had happened, actually, the instant that Beca had been torn away from her forever. She’d felt it, as though someone had ripped open her chest and extracted her heart. It had come from nowhere as she’d been prepping their dinner. She’d thought she was having a heart attack, sure she was about to die, until the agony had eased to a sick ache. That’s when she’d seen the news coverage of the accident, first on her phone, then on the TV. She’d known then. She hadn’t needed the call that had come half an hour later, the one that dropped her to her knees and wrenched a scream from her throat.

She can’t stop glancing at the casket. Beca would have been furious at the small size of it. A part of Chloe waits for Beca to push open the lid with a muffled curse and sit up to stare at her audience in confusion. She supposes that would scare people, but she wouldn’t mind at all. She’d have Beca back.

Eyewitnesses to the accident had told the police (who had then told her) that Beca had been trying to pass the gas hauler when it’d tipped. She’d been stuck behind a slower-moving car, though, unable to finish passing when the wind caught the hauler. It had careened sideways into her, wobbling and jerking around until it eventually tipped to fall directly on her car. The witnesses swore that there was nothing Beca could have done. It had all happened so fast. At least Chloe can take some comfort in that Beca didn’t suffer.

Chloe wants to be anywhere else in the world. She wants to run from the funeral home and never look back. She wants to put as much space between herself and the shell that is left of Beca in that box. She wants to hide from the blur of faces around her, including those of the Bellas. When she looks at them, all she sees is the one that’s missing.

Well, no, Chloe doesn’t want to be anywhere else; she wants to be one place specifically. Chloe wants to be at their (her) home, in their (her) bed with Beca curled up in her arms. And that’s the one thing she can’t have.

Instead, she stands right next to the too-small box containing the love of her life and individually greets everyone waiting in the long line to talk to her. Aubrey stands at her shoulder, waiting to catch her if she collapses – again. She talks to so many different people, all having some different connection to Beca’s life. And yet, they all say variations of the same thing. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Beca would have scoffed at them. Isn’t there something more original they could come up with? she would have muttered to Chloe. And, normally, Chloe would have scolded Beca gently, reminding her that no one really knows what else to say. But for once, Chloe is inclined to agree with her grumpy wife; “sorry” doesn’t really help her.

She doesn’t want their apologies. She wants her wife back.

She tries to deliver her eulogy, but all she can manage is, “She is – was – my everything. I don’t know what I’m going to do, because she’s my Beca.” Her voice breaks and she can’t bear the looks of uncomfortable sympathy her audience sends her, so she gives up and sits back down. It doesn’t really matter what she says to these people anyway. Beca knows (knew) how she feels (felt? No, feels, always) so that’s all that matters.

For their own eulogy, the other Bellas deliver a rendition of “Amazing Grace,” leaving an empty space where Beca normally would have stood during a choreo-free performance. Beca would have said it was excessive. Beca would have had a lot to say about her own funeral.

Chloe doesn’t sing with them. She can’t. It hurts too much.

Music had brought her and Beca together. They’d sung together in a shower the second time they’d met. Over the years, Beca had become all the music Chloe needed in her life.

Chloe hasn’t listened to music since Beca died.

She knows she’ll never sing again. Not without the other half of what used to be a duet.

Time moves strangely. One moment, she’s listening to the Bellas perform, and the next, she’s standing outside, watching from the front row as Beca’s casket is aligned over a deep hole dug in the ground.

She’d never imagined it would happen like this. She’d always thought they’d go together, or at least within hours of each other in their old age. It feels perverse, that she should be so young and healthy and alive while Beca is being permanently laid to rest. Something has gone wrong in the universe. They were never meant to be separated like this. Chloe knows in her soul that it’s wrong for them to have been pulled apart.

She would trade places with Beca in an instant if she could. If it were possible, if she had it her way, it would be her being lowered into the quiet, dark hole while Beca stands, very much alive. But then, she realizes, it would be Beca in pain instead of her. That’s not any better. The only acceptable option would be for them to have gone together.

Beca’s casket hits the floor of the hole with a muted thud. Chloe absolutely despises how lonely it looks down there. She desperately wants to lie down with Beca, to keep her company forever. At least they’d be together, then.

She’s so tired.

Nothing sounds more appealing then climbing down in the hole with Beca for a good long rest.

So, she does.

Chloe walks forward, sits down on the grassy edge of the grave, not caring that her dress is getting dirty. Without so much as a backward glance toward the faceless people behind her, she pushes off to land delicately on top of the casket. She crouches, laying across the top. She likes it better this way. She can’t be bothered to move, not even when Aubrey tosses the first handful of soil down on top of her and Beca. She doesn’t care at all.  

Chloe’s eyes fly open and she bolts upright in bed with a gasp. She coughs violently, tasting dirt in her mouth. Her face is wet; she’d been crying in her sleep. Still coughing, she glances at the clock on her nightstand to see that it’s 3am. The accident with the gas hauler had been the previous evening, which explains the nightmare. She instinctively reaches a hand to her right, to Beca’s side of the bed, only to find it cold and empty.

Her stomach lurches violently and she stares at the open space uncomprehendingly. Beca’s gone. Dread washes over her and she fights against her rising panic. No. It had just been a dream, that’s all, just a stupid nightmare, it isn’t real, Beca isn’t dead, there was no funeral, no, Beca is okay, she’s just –

Thud. “Ouch! You fucker…” comes a soft voice from outside the bedroom, followed by the sound of footsteps.

Chloe’s rapid breaths slow and relief floods her veins when Beca enters the dim room, rubbing her elbow.

“Bec, you’re okay,” she breathes, dropping her head to her hands.

“Yeah,” Beca replies, “I just whacked my arm on the bathroom doorframe.”

Chloe laughs once shakily and says, “No, I meant… you’re okay.”

Beca, maybe picking up on the seriousness of Chloe’s tone, moves back into bed quickly to peer closely at Chloe’s face. Her eyes widen, and she reaches out to trail her fingers softly over Chloe’s cheek. “Hey, you’ve been crying. What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice full of concern.

Chloe sighs and leans into the touch, letting her eyes slide closed. “It’s nothing,” she replies. “Just a stupid dream.”

“It’s not nothing,” Beca insists. “It upset you. Do you want to talk about it?”

Just thinking about the horror of the nightmare brings a fresh wave of tears to Chloe’s eyes. She scoots forward to wrap her arms around her wife, needing to feel Beca securely in her arms. Despite the awkward side angle, Beca holds her tightly, leaning into her in response.

Chloe exhales slowly, trying to calm herself. She whispers, “In my dream, you didn’t make it out of that accident.” She feels Beca stiffen in her arms, only to relax and squeeze her more tightly.

“It was awful,” Chloe continues. “God, your funeral was the worst. So many people were there, all the Bellas and Jesse and even Kimmy Jin, but your dad wasn’t and the girls all sang ‘Amazing Grace’ and –”

“Hold up,” Beca interrupts, pulling back to look her in the eyes. “Kimmy Jin? Really?”

“Yes,” replies Chloe, confused.

Beca frowns. “That’s so weird. I didn’t think she liked me.”

Chloe gapes. “That’s not the point –”

“And ‘Amazing Grace’? Seriously? That’s just cliché, and frankly somewhat excessive.”

“Beca –”

“And oh my God, at least tell me they gave me an adult-size coffin, not some stupid little –”

“It’s a casket,” Chloe corrects automatically, “not a coffin.”

“Still,” Beca emphasizes before falling silent.

Chloe stares at her in amazement. Then, finally, she feels a grudging smile lift her lips and Beca smiles tentatively back. Before Chloe knows it, she’s laughing quietly as Beca leans to press their foreheads together. And just like that, Chloe’s dream doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Beca has always known what to do to calm her down.

“Of course you complain about your own funeral,” she murmurs.

“Well, yeah,” Beca replies. “You only get one, you know? Better make it halfway decent.”

Chloe snorts and shakes her head. She married a complete weirdo.

After a moment, Beca says more seriously, “I’m sorry you had that dream. I promise, it’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

Chloe nods, feeling better already. “Why were you in the bathroom?” she asks as she wipes her eyes, wanting to change the subject.

Beca leans against the headboard, fluffing up a pillow behind her lower back. “Why do you think?” she deadpans.

Chloe shoves her playfully before leaning to mirror her position. Once she’s settled, Beca reaches out to drape an arm over her shoulders, drawing her into her side.

“Actually,” Beca begins slowly, making Chloe look at her, “I’d just woken up from a bad dream of my own. About the accident. What it looked like. I had to walk around a little, get it out of my head.”

Chloe’s breath catches. She’d seen live aerial footage of the crash, and that had been horrific enough. She can’t imagine what Beca must have seen, so close to it and the loss of life it brought.

“Bec, I’m so sorry…” she trails off, rubbing a hand soothingly over Beca’s stomach.

Beca looks over at her with a tight smile. “It’s okay,” she shrugs. “I’m one of the lucky ones.”

Chloe tilts her face up to press a soft kiss against Beca’s lips. She feels pretty lucky, too.

“And actually,” Beca says, looking away again once their kiss ends, tapping her fingers absentmindedly against Chloe’s shoulder, “the whole thing has me thinking… we never really know how much time we have, do we?”

Chloe nods slowly, uncertain of where Beca’s going with this.

“And, well, going along with that,” Beca adds with a deep breath, “I’d like to talk to you about maybe, one day, possibly… starting a family?” she looks back at Chloe, nervousness shining in her eyes.

Blinking numbly at her, Chloe can only stare. She’s pleasantly surprised; she’d thought she’d have to work up to the topic of kids with Beca, and yet here Beca was, bringing it up first.

“Or, uh, you know, if that’s what you want?” Beca asks, thrown by Chloe’s silence.

Chloe snaps out of her daze and nods rapidly. “Yeah,” she says breathlessly, “I do want that. You just surprised me.”

Beca grimaces at her. “I know, this isn’t how I’d planned on bringing it up, but…”

“No, it’s okay,” Chloe says quickly. “I was actually going to talk about that with you tomorrow. Well, today. I was going to ask you if you wanted to try for kids.”

“Really?” Beca’s face brightens even in the darkness of the room. “You were?”

Chloe nods with a small laugh. It’s scary sometimes, how much they’re on the same page.

“Well, great!” Beca beams – actually beams – at her, only to turn away to stifle a yawn. Once it passes, she looks apologetically back at Chloe and suggests, “But, um, can we maybe have that more serious conversation when we’re both properly awake?”

With a grin, Chloe says, “Yes, of course, sleepy head,” before leaning to again capture Beca’s lips in a kiss. She’s never going to get tired of kissing her wife.

Chloe had intended to keep the kiss light and brief, but to her surprise, Beca traces her lower lip with the tip of her tongue. Instinctively, she parts her lips so that their tongues can meet gently. Before she knows it, she’s leaning back with Beca hovering over, a knee positioned high between her thighs.

“I thought you were tired,” she says teasingly as Beca drops to kiss her neck.

“I was,” Beca growls against her skin, making her squirm. “But now, I think I’d rather practice our baby-making, since we both want kids.”

Chloe wrinkles her nose, doing her best to ignore the hand creeping under her shirt. “You do know that’s not how this works, right?”

“Are you actually complaining right now?” Beca asks, rocking forward into her once.

Chloe’s body tenses at the motion. “Nope!” she gasps, moving her hands to Beca’s back. “Just pointing out basic biology.”

Beca doesn’t respond, only rocks into her again.

Chloe lets her eyes slide shut and reaches to pull Beca down and into a searing kiss, her nightmare fading from her mind. Beca is safe, and that’s all that matters now.

She can’t wait to begin planning for a new addition to their little family.

[boobachu]

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

[finestfenwick]

Now or Never--Undercover

He’s awoken by clanging coming from the other room. Benjy rolls over, instinctively feeling for Cleona. Maybe she’s the one making the noise, but if she isn’t...

Benjy’s eyes open and take a few seconds to register the unfamiliar ceiling above him. The mission. The nifflers. Cleona wasn’t there for a reason-but she was safe. Benjy lets out a small breath and rolls out of bed almost noiselessly, the only sound a small creak of one of the floorboards as he stalks towards the kitchen, wand raised. 

He’s not as familiar with the cover apartment as he should be-a dumpy, cramped two room number above a long ago foreclosed exotic animals shop in Knockturn Alley. Benjy makes a mental note to do that if he doesn’t get his brains blasted out of him. As he turns the corner towards the icebox, he recognizes the back of the head and relaxes slightly, but keeps creeping forward, speaking only when the tip of his wand is digging into the other man’s spine. Benjy smiles slightly when a cry of surprise rings out, but he makes his voice a bit sleepier, drunker, when he speaks.

“Ya know, Glenn, if you wanted a bite, all ya had to do was ask.”

“Fucking Hell.” 

The leader of the Nifflers turns around to glare at Benjy, who backs up with his hands raised, indicating he didn’t want a fight.

“Don’t call me Glenn, it makes me sound like a pussy.”

Benjy makes a show of yawning. “Alright, mate. What are-”

“Are you naked?” O’Donnell cuts him off, his expression balking in the dim light of the room as he studies Benjy. Benjy chuckles and summons a pair of his robes with a wave of his wand.

“How the hell else am I supposed to sleep? Want a cuppa?”` Benjy feels O’Donnell’s eyes on him as he moves around the kitchen-no doubt he’d glimpsed the scars marring the majority of his left side. He didn’t think O’Donnell or anyone on the Nifflers recognized his name or his previous Quidditch fame-but then again, had Sawyer even told them his last name? He sets the kettle ablaze with a wave of his wand, trying not to talk to rapidly, trying not to make his lies obvious.

“Auror training gets a bit er...brutal. They don’t-they make you feel less than human-hardens us, you know. Makes us better at killing. “ The look on O’Donnell’s face is almost laughable. He’s buying it. Benjy picks up an apple on the counter and bites into it, buying himself some time to think.

“Sorry for sneaking up on you like that. That’s old hat too-Moody, the fucker, used to break into our places and torture us-he said it was a good lesson in setting protection spells-we’d never forget after that, and I haven’t-mission accomplished, I suppose.” 

That wasn’t entirely a lie. Moody had broken into his place when he was a trainee, though instead of torturing him, Benjy had simply woken up to the sight of his new boss staring him down, laying beside him in bed. “VIGILANCE, FENWICK!” He’d roared, falling off into laughter as Benjy leaped out of bed screaming and throwing every curse word he knew at him. They’d had their lesson in protection spells after that (and after Benjy had put some clothes on-a key part of the lesson he’d forgotten).

“You forgot tonight.”

Shit. He couldn’t exactly tell O’Donnell he’d been instructed not to set the charms for the sole purpose of their current exchange possibly happening. Vigilance, Fenwick. Benjy grins in what he hopes is a malicious way. 

“I’m waiting for the bastard to break in again-I reckon once they find out where I moved I’ve got a few weeks ‘til I come by an ‘accident’ of some kind.”

O’Donnell’s eyebrows raise as Benjy takes another bite of the apple. It’s mealy. 

“They can do that?”

“It’s the government, mate. They can do whatever the hell they want.” He summons two mugs over as well as a bottle of cheap whiskey. He pours a generous amount into both and adds the tea just as the kettle starts to whistle, sending one over to O’Donnell without waiting to see if he wants it. “So I say, let him come-the bastard has no idea what I’m capable of.” Benjy glances at the clock on the wall-it was nearly 4 am. 

“But anyway, mate-what can I help you with?”

O’Donnell studies him with an expression that might be intimidating if his face wasn’t so beady. 

“Just wanted to make sure you’re the real deal.”

Benjy laughs to himself, taking a generous sip of his mug. “I respect a man with suspicions- and you have every right to have them. I wouldn’t trust me either. But I wanna take those fuckers down-more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”  Another long drink-the whiskey burning his throat makes the lies easier. 

“And I’m grateful you lot are allowing me to help you do that.”

It might be laying it on a bit thick, but Benjy sees O’Donnell stand a little taller. His arrogance would be laughable if Benjy didn’t know first hand how dangerous it could be.

“It should be easy enough if Scamander holds up his end of the deal this time. Though it seems like he’s come to his senses-if you ever wonder what happens when you double cross us, just ask your mate. ” O’Donnell says with a chuckle-Benjy stays silent, all but holding his breath. That was basically a confession.

“Er, alright-”

“Do you know where he is? Scamander?” O’Donnell whips out a cigarette and starts to smoke, the tip pre-lit when it touches his lips. “He wasn’t in when I popped in-I’m hoping for both of your sakes that he’s not done something idiotic like run off.”

Benjy swallows hard, letting that statement physically affect him more than it actually does.

“I can go check on him tomorrow-”

“No. The less you two see of each other, the better. You’ll know what I need you to know, Fenwick. This is the real shit-this ain’t no pussy auror squad full of bitches. You listen to me, you do what I say-you don’t fucking question it-understand?”

A wand is poking the center of his chest, O’Donnell had drawn it so fast Benjy hadn’t even noticed. There was no need to feign fear this time.

“Yes sir.”

O’Donnell smiles in a way that strangely reminds Benjy of his ex boyfriend, Graham.

Gross.

“Good. I’ll ask again. Do you know where Scamander might be?” 

Benjy clears his throat.

“Er, he mentioned some bird he knew from America being in town or getting out of prison...or going to prison. Something. He’s probably with her. And knowing Sawyer...he’ll probably be back at his in the morning.”

O’Donnell nods.

“You seem capable, Fenwick. I can see you sticking around for a while as long as you don’t fuck it up.”

Benjy meets the other man’s eye again and bites back a strange urge to laugh. If only O’Donnell knew-and how like Benjy to be thrilled at the thought of anyone underestimating him. 

“Cheers.” Is all he says, raising his mug as O’Donnell nods, spinning on the spot to leave.

Game on, motherfucker.

~

There had been no point in going back to bed. Benjy had brewed a proper pot of tea-sans whiskey-and set to work pouring over everything he had on Sawyer. Intel from the man himself and from the rather thick file the aurory had on him. Benjy breaks out the pensive he has hidden under the bed and drops in on his and Scamander’s interactions from the past-mimicking how Sawyer moves and speaks right along with the memory. After a few hours, when it’s close to 8, Benjy pours one of the vials of polyjuice with Sawyer’s hair into it into his mug of tea. Amelia, who was on guard at his place had gotten the All Clear from Frank, positioned at Sawyer’s-no Nifflers about. The gang was small enough that after a bit of digging, the squad knew for certain who most of it’s members were-there were always the unknowns, but that was the gamble Benjy had to take. He squinches his nose as he downs the cup of tea, dreading what was to come. 

Benjy wasn’t sure if the transformation process was this painful for everyone, or if the curse scars on him made it worse. He’d forgotten to set his mug down, and when it fell from his shifting hand, it shattered at feet that were no longer his. He’s shorter now-which is funny, Benjy isn’t that tall to start-but stockier. Thicker, he guesses. His hands aren’t as quick and his vision is a bit fuzzy. Benjy squints and things focus-Scamander needed glasses. His left side doesn’t throb any longer-its not ever something Benjy notices anymore unless he’s someone else-shifting back meant he’s going to notice it again for a few days. He absentmindedly goes to run his hands through his hair but he stops himself-Sawyer didn’t do that-his hair was always tangled and close to ratty-Benjy couldn’t be himself any longer. He crosses to the small loo and squints at himself in the mirror. It was always surreal, no matter how many times he did this-but at least Scamander wasn’t as ugly as the last person he morphed into. Carefully, Benjy presses his wand to his own neck, saying the spell and wincing as life like hickeys start to form. Another wave of his wand crumples the simple t-shirt and boxers he was wearing. He’d throw on one of Scamander’s dressing gowns when he got to the apartment. As a final step, Benjy dumps a bottle of whiskey over his head. It’s cold and awful-but he flicks the wetness away with a final wave of his wand-he was dry now, but he reeked. Satisfied that he looked like a proper version of Walk Of Shame Sawyer, Benjy grips the sides of the sink and takes a breath. 

All he had to do was convince a dangerous criminal that he was someone he wasn’t-if he failed, all that would happen is putting a major very expensive mission in jeopardy and the possible loss of his life.

He pictures Cleona, in low light, telling him about dying at one hundred and fifty three. Benjy smiles, shakes himself, and turns on the spot.

It was now or never.

~

“I’m coming, I’m coming.”

‘Sawyer’ opens the door and feigns surprise at seeing Glenn.

“What’s up, mate?”

“Fun night, last night?” O’Donnell jeers, pushing past Benjy as Sawyer into the living room. He’s different here. More relaxed. Smarmier. 

“Oh you know it-birds from the states are fucking mad women.” Sawyer’s voice was hard to mimic, his accent a blend of American and British. Benjy clears his throat. “Bit of a cold-probably got it off her, Merlin knows how many blokes she’s been shagging on her vacation. What can I do you for?” He adds, watching O’Donnell run his hand over the back of an armchair.

“Where’s Ruse?” O’Donnell asks instead of answering, looking around the apartment with surprising softness. The Niffler wanting the niffler. Benjy as Sawyer chuckles softly, lighting up one of the cigarettes he’d found in Sawyer’s bedside table-they certainly weren’t tobacco and the taste of weed instantly relaxes Benjy. He offers a joint to O’Donnell who shakes his head.

“I don’t want your hippie shit.”

“Your loss, then. Ruse is out on an errand for me. Need a bit more funding before I can start your project. You’ve got expensive taste, Glenn.” 

The smell from Benjy’s joint starts intruding on the space between them and he sees O’Donnell wrinkle his nose. He doesn’t tell Sawyer not to call him Glenn-he trusted him more than he let on. 

“Just get it done-I don’t care what it costs you.”

O’Donnell, of course. was employing Sawyer to make a variety of dangerous and damaging potions and poisons for the Nifflers to use against their enemies and to sell. The ask at their initial meet up alone was enough to arrest O’Donnell, but Benjy didn’t just want the leader-he wanted the whole damn group-especially if they were supplying any for Deatheaters. Benjy as Sawyer smiles easily. “Did I say that I cared?”

O’Donnell doesn’t respond, he just looks around the apartment, uneasy.

“You alright, mate?”

“That fucking auror of yours is something else.”

Benjy inhales again on the joint, raising the cup full of tea and polyjuice to his lips just after, not grimacing at the taste despite how badly he wants to. “He’s not my auror, for fucks sake. He’s just a bloke I know.”

“I don’t know if we should trust him.” O’Donnell says, watching his own fingers trace the back of the chair still. “Seems dodgy.”

“Right, and Nim and the rest of the lot are upstanding citizens, so I see where you’re coming from.”

O’Donnell meets his eyes with a glare and BenjSawyer laughs.

“I’m just saying, mate. Listen, you don’t have to worry about Fenwick. He’s not...well, he’s a bit of a wank, but he’s not nearly as important as he thinks he is. The whole mess with him getting fired did go down as he says, but I bet he didn’t tell you about the shit they found his locker.”

O’Donnell’s eyebrows raise up his forehead. “He didn’t.”

Benjy as Sawyer laughs. “Bastard’s an addict-pretty much anything you can think of, he’s on it. And yeah, that makes him a bit unstable-but that also makes him vulnerable. And when you’re vulnerable, you’re easy to use.” He lets out a puff of smoke, eyeing O’Donnell carefully. “Anything you tell him to do, he’ll do. I’m the only one that’ll sell to him-Avery and the lot of others don’t fuck with him because of the ministry ties. He’s desperate, Glenn. And eager to please. It’s a great combination.”

O’Donnell lets out a little laugh. “I had no idea you were that fucking cold, Scamander.”

“This shit hasn’t hit yet.” Benjy raises the joint. “Soon as it does I’ll be back to your regular scheduled programming.”

O’Donnell laughs and Benjy sucks harder on the joint.

“As soon as Ruse is back, I’ll get started on what you need, mate. One problem though-no one has Doxie powder. Like, no one. I even asked that weird bitch Avery shacks up with, and she hasn’t had a taste of it in months. I think there’s been some bullshit crackdown from the ministry.”

“Ah you don’t need to worry about that, mate. I’ll bring you some on the 25th-little Christmas present for you. Shipment’s coming in on Christmas Eve-Doxie powder and lots of other shit. The ministry closes on the 23rd-before those idiots even know what’s hit em we’ll have so much of it already out on the streets.”

O’Donnell lights another one of his cigarettes.

“Sounds good, just keep me posted.”

“Sure-I told Fenwick to stay away from you-he’s got to prove himself proper or he’s gone-I hope you’re not too attached.”

Benjy feels a little piece of his stomach drop as he watches O’Donnell’s face change back to the complete coldness he’d shown him in the apartment. He’d under estimated him a bit-while still incredibly dumb, he was far from harmless. Benjy as Sawyer clears his throat and shurgs, taking another hit of the joint to buy him time.

Vigilance. 

“Fenwick? Nah, mate, I’m not attached.” Another inhale, exhale-the smoke floats towards the cold expression on Glenn O’Donnell’s face. Benjy ignores the tick up in the speed of his heart rate. Emotions, valid or not, are not helpful now. He’s not going to lose this-there’s no way the idiot standing in front of him, scary or not, will ever best him. With newfound resolve, Benjy speaks, an almost perfect imitation of Sawyer’s accent, spoken lazily, as if discussing the weather.

"If he has to die? Just collateral damage.”

[vaalinors]

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock 

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house 

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E  A T  M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d  u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O  R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

[fiction-queen-blog]

Obsessed

Pairing: Narusasu Genre: Psychological, thriller Descriptions: Uchiha Sasuke,a nurse in Konoha-hospital thought it was a regular day at the bank, but what he didn’t expect was a bank robbery to occur under his watch, especially not from the most wanted criminal organisation, : Jinjuriki. However, what he was most oblivious of, was that the leader, Kyuubi (Naruto), did not seem to be after the money, but after the Uchiha.

Chapter 1 “Jinjuriki”

The big doors of the large,old building downtown opened, and a young man walked in.  Dark eyes scanned the room and sighed annoyed seeing four long queues. It was busy and it made the Uchiha only more annoyed, especially when he just finished a 12 hours long shift. His feet hurt, even in the expansive trainers that cost a fortune. Good thing they were a gift.

“Not again…” The Uchiha muttered under his breath. He ran his hand through his hair and decided he should just stand in line. He had come all the way here, better make the buss ride worth it.

“Hey, are you a doctor or something?” The lady in front of him suddenly turned herself around. It was the last thing the Uchiha had wanted...Fucking smalltalk.

“I am a nurse” Sasuke answered,he figured how faster she would shut up. The faster he could just enjoy the silence.

“Oh…”

There it was, the voice of somebody undermining him for what he does.

 “That is...Easy living” she commented, wanting to turn back around.

“I just came out of a twelve hour shift, you know?” Sasuke gritted his teeth, but tried calming himself down.

“Hard working…” The woman commented, giving a small friendly smile before she  turned herself around. Like his mother’s criticism wasn’t enough.

Another exhausted sigh escaped the Uchiha lips. He shifted his weight from his left leg to right foot and vice versa, moving slightly like a clock.

“Can you stop that, it’s annoying” A grumpy old man commented behind him. Sasuke stood still and bit down his lip.

“You really want to go there with me?” The Uchiha turned his head around to take a good look at the person.  The old man remained quiet and the Uchiha turned his head back to the front.

“Rude millennials, breaking our economy” Sasuke’s knitted his eyebrows and couldn’t believe what the grumpy man had just said behind him.

He decided he was too exhausted to even bother. The line started to move, but he swears paint dried faster than the speed this line went.

His eyes looked around the old building, it was beautiful, from the big chandelier on the roof to the perfect tiles on the floor. The Uchiha narrowed his eyes slightly seeing some suspicious figure standing right outside the big window. He was wearing way too much black for a hot summer day. He could see the man grabbing what seemed like a machine gun from his bag. Sasuke’s eyes widened as he turned his head around him, everybody seemed too occupied in their own worlds that they didn’t even seem to notice.

“GET DOWN!” Sasuke shouted,pushing the woman in front of him to the ground right before the glass shattered and gunshots were heard. He could hear screaming, panic arose. People tried to run, but the doors were shut.  Sasuke sat up, crawling towards the injured old man.  He was shot right in the abdominal.

“Hey, hey! Stay with me!” He slapped the man in the face, catching his attention. He put his hands over the wound, applying pressure on it to keep it from bleeding out.  “You are going to be fine! You hear me! Stay with me here!”

Somebody suddenly pulled Sasuke up from the back of his shirt, pushing him closely towards his body.

“No he is not”

Sasuke could see a gloved hand pull the trigger of a handgun, right in the old man’s face.

“You fucker!” Sasuke pushed his heel right on his capture’s toes before punching his elbow in his ribs. The guy let go, cursing. Sasuke almost tripped forward, but somebody suddenly caught him, putting his hands in orange chain.

“You got spunk”  the person turned Sasuke around and pushed in the back of his knees so he was forced to kneel down. The Uchiha hissed, looking around him. He saw most people sitting somewhere on the side, scared, hugging each other while two people with machine guns were standing in front of them. Others were busy in the back with the employees and then there were the two with Sasuke. No casualties...Further than the dead old man.

“He hit me” the man complained, he wore a mask resembling a dog.

“Ooh boo boo” the other commented.

“Listen” Sasuke spoke up, “If you want to rob this bank. Go ahead, nobody here is going to stop you. But you see these hostages you have, there are children between them. Let them go, you don’t need them. Let them go. Take your money and leave everyone alone”

The man in the dog mask scoffed and knelt down right in front of Sasuke.

“We don’t follow orders from you”  he spoke. His happy dog face did not match the current situation at all.

“Then bring me the person who does and let me talk sense to him!”

“Him?”

Sasuke looked up hearing somebody jump on the reception table. A man, wearing a mask that resembled a fox.

“I could be a she for all you know, dattebayo” The man jumped on the ground and walked over the shattered glass before standing in front of Sasuke. The Uchiha looked at the mask, not sure where to exactly look at. The fucking orange shirt , the freaky children’s mask or the blue piercing eyes through the holes of the mask.

“I know you…” Sasuke narrowed his eyes, “you are that Kyuubi guy. The leader of Jinchuuriki. I have heard of you on the news”

“You know me?! “ the leader started applauding “come on everyone! Applause for our genius..Little...Sasuke”

The Uchiha’s eyes widened, looking at the name tag on his chest where was written S.Uchiha. There was no way this guy could have guessed right.

“You know me?” Sasuke whispered.  The leader squatted down, he took off one glove before reaching for the raven’s cheek. Sasuke backed away, his glare became worse.

“Don’t touch me” he immediately said, “just take your money and leave us alone.You better be quick before the cops come and put you in prison”

The leader suddenly stood up and looked at the two others. For a moment Sasuke thought his words has scared the man, but he wasn’t even close.

“Why is there blood on him?” the leader sounded pissed off if not angry.

“No, no boss it isn’t his!”

“It is the old man’s!”

“We swear, ask him!”

The man in the fox mask didn’t have much time to talk. He looked at the glassed door, seeing the police cars arrive. It seemed he had forgotten everything that was currently in his head and was focussed on an entire other aspect.

“Let the fun begin, dattebayo” he said, he ran towards the reception desk and jumped over it to the back where the save was. He was gone for twenty whole seconds before jumping back on the desk.

“Who called the cops?” He asked calmly, turning his head to the hostages. Everybody remained quiet. “Ooohh~ are we going all Spartacus here, dattebayo!”

“There is an automatic alarm, nobody called it...It just went off” Sasuke said, causing the man in the fox mask to look at him, shaking his head slightly.

“Always playing the hero...So brave” He suddenly aimed his gun at the woman who had been standing in front of Sasuke in line and shot her right in the head.  Sasuke looked at the pool of blood forming quickly under her head before looking back at the leader.

“That was for bad mouthing you earlier” he jumped off the reception and walked towards Sasuke.

“They have surrounded us” A person in monkey mask said the leader from behind the reception.

“There is no way we can transport all of the money” A woman said, wearing a bug mask.

“Fuck the money. Burn it!” The leader shouted, “then nobody has it” he chuckled.

“Why the hell are you a robbing a bank if you are not even here for the money!” A man between the hostages shouted.

“For the chaos, of course!” The leader threw his hands in the air, taking a deep breath, “aah~disappear and fear..My favourite fragment. They don’t make cologne like that anymore, dattebayo”  The leader muttered the last part before turning around and walking towards the exit in the back.

“Let’s move it, take the jewel” he said, passing the man that had just spoken up. He shot him in the chest, not even giving him a second look.

“No!” Sasuke shouted, trying to go towards him, but the two men grabbed him from his arms and dragged the Uchiha with them. “Somebody, grab the first aid box and get an occlusive dressing and cover the wound!” Sasuke shouted while he got dragged out. He tried to struggle back, but the guys were strong.

“What do you want from me!” Sasuke shouted. He got pushed down behind a container when the police fired their weapons on them.

Were they using him as a human shield?!

No….These masked people were protected him. They  pushed him inside the back of a truck. Firing at the police while the they drove off. Everything was going fast. At one point he felt somebody throw him in the back of the truck at another point he got pulled up and pushed in the corner. The man in the dog mask grabbed the screen in the back that was showing the images coming from a camera in the back to check the blind spot of the truck. He fired through the metal. Next thing Sasuke heard was a loud explosion.

“BONFIRE! DATTEBAYO!” The leader cheered. “Fuck!” He suddenly cursed and grabbed the man with the dog mask by his collar.  “Where them marshmallows at?!” He asked seriously.

“Fuck off!” Sasuke shouted. He couldn’t believe this was all some sick game to this psychopath. The truck made a sharp turn,causing everybody that was standing to fall on the floor.

“Our ride is near!” The blond pushed his brunet off him before opening the side door of the truck seeing a van.  

“Yup!” He reached his hand to Sasuke.  “Ain’t I a real gentleman, opening the  door for you”

Sasuke could hear the man snigger behind his mask. The raven shook his head.

“No, No…” Was this freak really expecting him to jump for the moving truck to a moving van?

“Aw babe, don’t be scared. It is like a leap of faith!”

“I DON’T HAVE FAITH IN YOU!” The Uchiha snapped. It seemed the man in the dog mask wasn’t taking his outburst too well. He grabbed the raven from his arm and pushed him right in his leader’s arm.

“Baby, baby” The blond tucked the raven’s bangs behind his ears.  “It is not scary at all. I am gonna hold your hand, babe. Don’t worry”  

Sasuke looked at the van and shook his head eagerly.

“No..No..No” The leader put his hand on each of the raven’s cheek, forcing the dark eyes to look directly into his.  “If we stay here, the police is going to kill us. If we make the jump. They won't get to us”

“I am civilian-”

“Pffff~ It is like  the gambler's trolley. One life against a millions. Who do you think they will choose?”  

It was hard to actually admit the criminal spoke the truth. The police are after the Jinjuriki since forever. He would be just another casualty.

“That is my boy” the man patted the raven’s cheek before holding his hand, entwining their fingers.

“On...Three?”

“NO TIME. JUMP!” The man in the fox mask jumped, causing Sasuke to respond to his screaming. He rolled inside the van. Panting from the adrenaline. This shit was crazy.

“We made it!” The man applauded while his crew jump inside the van, leaving the truck to hit a building.

“OH...That was not according to plan” The woman in the bug mask said, turning her head to her leader.

“We had a plan? Why did nobody tell me?!”  Kyuubi seemed confused.

“Sir, it is your plan” The man in the dog mask reminded the blond.

“Oh….What is my next step, dattebayo!” The blond threw his hands in the air.

“Helicopter escape”

“Dude we have a chopper!” Kyuubi grabbed Sasuke by his arm, “we have a chopper, Sasuke!”

“Sir..You own nine”  The man in the dog mask whispered. Not sure if he wanted his boss to listen or not.

“‘Aight, that sound like a chopper right!” The blond stuck his head outside the window.  “Oh no...That is a police chopper” Naruto looked back at his squad.

“Tell the guy flying to ram the police one away. We take the backup chopper” The blue eyes widened, “ey...we have nine choppers” he said, looking at Sasuke. The van took a sharp turn before hitting something, causing everybody to get pushed forwards by the force.

Sasuke’s head hit the the seat  before falling on the floor. He seemed to be out for a bit before getting grabbed by the shoulders and shaken.

“Wake-up! Wake-up!” He opened his eyes. The sound we numbed, his vision was blurry. It was hard to make anything out of the situation. Gun shots...Shouting...Everything was chaotic.  He could see blue eyes, look at him with such passionate hate. Somehow….That look looked familiar.

Sasuke shut his eyes seeing the hand reach for his head, he slowly opened them seeing the man wipe some blood off his forehead. He looked at it before gritting his teeth.

“KILL THEM ALL, SLAUGHTER THEM! LEAVE NO FUCKING MAN ALIVE! DATTEBAYO!”  The leader shouted to his men. He kicked the almost torn off door behind him, grabbing a hand gun.  

Sasuke pushed himself up, his head hurt like a motherfucker. He moved his fingers over the wound on his head. It bled a lot and it was hard to tell how deep it was. How he regretted jumping off the truck to save his miserable life. It seem his life choices remained bad.

He opened his eyes when he noticed something strange….The silence.

Slowly, he turned his head to see the man with the fox mask stand in front of the door opening. Blood on his mask as his hand was extended to the raven.

“What..”

“They won’t hurt you”  His voice was too calm for somebody who just took down an entire police force.

“You got what you wanted” Sasuke said,  “Now let me go”

“This isn’t a request” The fox’s voice was suddenly cold. Even though the raven would never admit to it. That voice gave him goosebumps.

“What do you want from me?” the raven seemed about to crack any second now, tears were filling his eyes “who are you?”

The man lowered his arm, looking at Sasuke before reaching for his mask. He threw it on the ground, causing the raven to narrow his eyes. The greyness was taking over his vision, but he could see the face slightly blurred, but still recognisable

“Naru...to?”  with those words the uchiha fell on his side, yet managing to see the blond catch him, before blacking out.

[theoddcatlady]

Energy Potion

Alan: Oh my god I’m dying.

Alan: End me guys. Just take my body and throw it in a hole six feet deep.

Melody: Stop complaining, it’s not that bad.

Bruce: Shut the fuck up and pass me more coffee.

Alan: Coffee. All I consume, all I taste. Is goddamn coffee.

Cleo: I don’t know about you guys IM DOING GREAT :D

Melody: Oh god I think she found where I hid her Monster.

Melody: Cleo no do you KNOW how bad that is for you?! Spring water. Deep breathing. That’ll get you through finals!

Alan: … On what planet do you live on?

Melody: The one where nature provides rather than artificial chemicals and manmade poison.

Bruce: Oh man I haven’t laughed this hard since… I can’t remember. More coffee. More coffee. My fingers are shaking so much and I still don’t have this paper done. Spellcheck thinks I’m developing Parkinson’s.

Cleo: Your fingers only JUST started shaking? D:

Melody: Your kids are all going to end up with ADHD.

!~*~!

Melody: I have decided my earlier statements may have been naïve.

Alan: Nooo, really?

Melody: RIP. X.X

Cleo: Okay, after spending all morning in bed with a migraine maybe drinking that many Monsters in a row was a bad idea. Whoopsie daisy.

Bruce: I’m surprised you’re not dead.

Cleo: Same bro. Fuck finals.

Melody: We’re all doomed.

Alan: … hold on a sec guys I got this weird ad on the college website, lemme show you.

Alan: [IMG]

Alan: Ignore that it looks like every ‘graphic design is my passion’ advertisement ever.

Melody: Oooh, a natural remedy?

Cleo: No crash? I’m sold. How much is it, I don’t wanna blow my food budget.

Bruce: Thiiis sounds like bull. Don’t do it man.

Alan: Too late. Emailed the seller.

Bruce: Cocksucker.

Alan: You wish jackass.

Cleo: Shut the fuck up guys. I’m emailing Gus too. See if he’ll work out a deal. Jesus, a week’s amount of doses is over thirty bucks… hello Ramen cups and poptarts. How I missed you.

Melody: I have some extra quinoa!

Cleo: Errrrr…

Bruce: I mean. We only need a week’s worth. Then finals will be over.

Alan: Ooooh, changing your tune, mister skeptic?

Bruce: If I don’t pack in as much study time as possible I’m going to fail. I’m not gonna let that happen.

Alan: Awww yeah! Let’s try some kid’s science experiment!

!~*~!

Alan: I’m still laughing that it’s called ‘Energy Potion’. What sort of geeky ass bullshit?

Bruce: Taking the first pill now. I have to study.

Melody: All at once, readysetgo!

Cleo: …

Cleo: I didn’t expect it to dissolve. Thought it was like birth control.

Bruce: Literally tastes like piss. Literally.

Alan: Spend a lot of time doing that Bruce?

Bruce: Eat shit.

Alan: :P

Melody: Maybe it’s the color that brings on the whole urine sensation. So icky.

Cleo: Blergh. My mouth feels awful, how’s this supposed to work Alan?

Alan: ‘One pill and you’ll have bursts of energy throughout the night, a slow burn rather than a high followed by a crash.’ Taken right from the product description.

Melody: Oddly enough, I feel its working! Or maybe that’s the crystals I set up around my study place.

Bruce: Or placebo effect. That too.

!~*~!

Cleo: Bruce?

Bruce: What’s up Cleo? Any reason you’re not messaging with the group?

Cleo: … I took another pill this morning.

Bruce: Shit, are you feeling sick? I mean it does wonders don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think you can stay awake all day like that.

Cleo: I know I know I’m sorry, I’m just letting you know in case something goes wrong. And it did work. I didn’t feel tired until the sun went up. Still pretty sleepy.

Bruce: You wanna come over to my apartment to study? I know the dorm’s pretty rough on you.

Cleo: Well…

Bruce: I’ll have more Monster for you.

Cleo: Sold. Can we play a few rounds of Overwatch too?

Bruce: As long as I can be your pocket Mercy.

!~*~!

Melody: This is the best stupid idea you’ve ever had Alan!

Alan: I know right? You know how productive I was last night? Focused?

Melody: I know! I didn’t even feel buzzed! Just AWAKE!

Cleo: Slept through one of my classes though. The crash does come, just when the sun comes up.

Bruce: Whatever man, most of my classes don’t care about attendance except when it comes to finals. Two more days until it begins.

Cleo: I can’t wait for them to be over. I might take it easy. No more all nighters. I’ll save the rest of my pills for another time.

Melody: To be honest I haven’t even been taking mine.

Alan: … What?

Bruce: Sure Melody haha how the heck have you put in more studying time?

Melody: I just feel more awake at night. I think my internal clock is changing, a few sessions of meditation and I’ll be able to refresh myself.

Alan: That’s weird.

Cleo: You know, now that I think about it, I think I forgot to take the pill last night because of how awake I was? It just felt more natural to be awake at night rather than the day. I powernapped at midnight but that’s it. It’s probably just working its way out of our systems.

Bruce: god I hope so. I swear if you end up hospitalized because of this…

!~*~!

Cleo: TMI, I don’t care.

Alan: You too?

Bruce: Same.

Melody: I’m anti shaving but this is RIDICULOUS.

Bruce: …  How the hell did we get on the same wavelength so fast?

Cleo: I mean we’re friends. That’s how it is right?

Cleo: That’s beside the point. The point is my bush is thicker than a jungle, and I JUST got waxed as a reward for passing finals.

Alan: That is really TMI but same.

Melody: I might actually break out the razor.

Bruce: probably just get a weed whacker…

Cleo: Took the words out of my MOUTH.

Alan: Maybe it’s just a full moon, either way, finals are over, toss out the damn pills, we’re GOOD.

!~*~!

Bruce: I’m still not sleeping at night.

Melody: Neither am I. I’m back at my mom’s and she’s getting SUPER worried.

Alan: I keep nodding off at work. This fucking sucks. I’m gonna get canned at this rate and I don’t wanna go back to living with my parents.

Bruce: Have either of you heard from Cleo? I haven’t since she got home to her parents. I feel like she’s fine, but you know, I worry.

Alan: I know you two finally got together but relax, she’s fine.

Melody: She’s probably just organizing her room.

Bruce: … How the fuck did you know we were together?

Melody: …

Melody: I… don’t know. I just guessed I guess.

Bruce: Bull. We haven’t told anyone. Her dad’s racist as hell, you really think he’s cool with his princess dating a black guy?

Alan: Isn’t that beside the point anyway?

Bruce: No, not it’s not.

Bruce: I really didn’t want to say this.

Bruce: Alan, I know you’re bisexual. You were at the LGBT safe space the night before graduation.

Bruce: And Melody, you believe in this vegan hippie bullshit only to make your mom happy. Because she’d be horrified to find out you’re atheist. You were at Burger King yesterday and I know you weren’t there for the salad.

Bruce: I just know what you two are doing at any time, any place, anywhere. I know where to find you right now. I can’t put it into words but it’s like we’re connected.

Bruce: Do you realize it too?

Melody: … Yes.

Melody: I was worried last night because you weren’t safe. And when you got home and told me that you were nearly in a car accident I almost screamed. I don’t believe in this sixth sense bullshit. I don’t believe in any of it. I was a vegetarian because of logic reasons, not that I ‘feel the animal’s souls’.

Alan: But you’ve also been eating a lot of meat lately too, huh?

Bruce: There’s so many jokes I can make about the meat thing.

Alan: Time and a fucking place, Bruce.

Alan: I’ve basically become a carnivore overnight. I made myself three steaks last night because I just couldn’t get full. I’m blowing through my food budget like there’s no tomorrow.

Bruce: Damn. I’ve been getting by on chicken nuggets but nothing beats a rare steak right now. I could go get one right now. If I wasn’t so damn tired.

!~*~!

Bruce: Cleo? Are you there? I know you’re okay but I’m wondering for how much longer.

Bruce: Please tell me you’re okay.

Cleo: … I’m hideous.

Cleo: My new teeth are all sharp. I’m so hairy. The only thing I like to eat is meat. I only like being out at night, and when I do, I explore my territory.

Cleo: I’m not what you want.

Bruce: No no no, it’s all of us, Cleo. My teeth just started to get loose. The night is beautiful, isn’t it?

Cleo: Especially the moon. But I feel so alone. I’m not supposed to be alone. I love you, Bruce. So much. We’re meant to be.

Bruce: We are. All of us need to be together. It’s getting stronger by the day. What’s happening to us?

Cleo: The potion. The energy potion.

Cleo: That fucker turned us into freaks!

Bruce: Nonono, you’re not a freak. If it wasn’t for this new connection, I wouldn’t have made a move that night. Appearance or not, this isn’t… all bad.

Cleo: Not all bad?

Cleo: What is even the end of this? What are we turning into?

Bruce: Hang tight. We’ll be okay, I promise.

Cleo: … my dad’s banging on my door fuckfuckfuck I think he knows about us

Bruce: Cleo?

Bruce: Cleo?!?!

Bruce: CLEO PLEASE REPLY

Bruce: CLEO!

!~*~!

Bruce: She’s in trouble.

Melody: I’m already almost to her house. Alan’s with me. Meet us there.

Bruce: Keep her safe.

!~*~!

Bruce: Shaken them off?

Melody: Yes.

Cleo: They couldn’t keep up. They’re weak. They don’t have our senses in the dark.

Alan: I got rid of the body. And our clothes.

Bruce: You know where to go?

Cleo: We’ll meet you there.

Alan: You’re in charge.

Alan: We’ll get through this together.

Melody: Yes.

Cleo: Yes.

Bruce: Yes.