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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way, Chapter 14

The Reader has been having a love affair with two Avengers and gets caught in a sticky situation. She’s suddenly faced with life decisions she’s not prepared for, including who to love, what she wants, and is this all worth it?

Okay okay, warning. This one got away from me (18+). Also, as always, I outdid myself on the swearing. It’s a little shorter, but for a reason. Thank you to all the responses! Enjoy this part :)

You have this memory in your head.

You’re not sure when it happened, it must have been early in your relationship though, because Steve and Bucky weren’t living with you yet.

The morning starts off so beautifully slow. Dawn breaks and your room fills with soft light. It was one of the few mornings you didn’t have to set an alarm.

You wake to feel slow, sloppy kisses up your naked back. You moan, curling back against Bucky. You feel the slow prodding of Steve’s fingers as he teases you awake.

You moan again, still not sure if you’re dreaming. “Good morning.”

Bucky grinds himself against your rear. You can feel Steve sliding himself over your entrance. You gasp, clutching at the sheets, desperation hitting you hard and fast. It doesn’t matter they kept you up all night. You wanted them both now.

“Please,” you murmur, leaning forward to wrap a leg around Steve. “Oh, please, please, please.”

Bucky’s stubble tickles that sensitive spot on your neck and you jerk backwards into his embrace. “So polite in the morning,” he bites at your ear. “But not very specific. Use your words baby, please what?”

His hands slide up to grasp your breasts. Steve moans in front of you, gripping your hips, but still not giving you what you want. Your hips buck faster, more erratically, hoping he can just slip in.

“Stop it, Steve,” Bucky grunts.

Steve practically whines but does as he’s told.

“No,” you keep moving on him, desperate now for some friction. “Please.”

“Please, what?” Bucky’s tongue licks the inside of your ear.

“Please,” your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Please fuck me.”

Bucky chuckles darkly, tweaking a nipple, “How should we fuck you, hm?”

You bit your lip, “I want both of you. To fuck me, just like this.”

Bucky bite on your ear lobe, “All you had to do was ask, baby.” And with almost no warning, he, already lubed, slides into you from behind.

“Oh!” You gasp, needing a second to adjust to the suddenness.

Steve leans forward, sucking on that spot to help you relax. In half a second you’re moaning and begging for more again. Steve grabs your leg, wrapping it around himself and enters you slower, more gently.

You moan deeply, your head falling back against Bucky’s shoulder.

“How does she feel, Steve?” Bucky asks, his hand stroking up and down your side.

Steve only moans in response. The sound causing you to drag your nails down his back. You reach back to grip the back of Bucky’s neck, withering between them. Steve sets the pace, grinding into you, sending you back into Bucky, who pushes you forward again.

Steve’s mouth comes down to your neck and that’s it, you’re release rockets through you thanks to the extreme pleasure of the two of them inside of you.

Their lazy, morning pace continues. They get two more out of you before the three of you are left gasping, clutching to each other for air. You could die right now, right here, and you would be perfectly happy, you realize.

Steve kisses the top of your head as he rolls away, asking if you want pancakes or French toast. Bucky kisses your cheek, saying he’s going to run out to your favourite coffee shop.

The rest of the day was just as perfect. You eat breakfast, you drag the boys to the beach. Bucky refuses to go in the water and Steve gets a wicked sunburn, but they fall asleep tangled together in the sand while you read your book. It starts to rain at some point, just misting. It wakes them up and as you reach the boardwalk, it starts to pour.

You take cover in an ice cream shop, with the most ridiculous flavours. Between the three of you, nearly all of them were tried much to the dismay of the shop owner, but then you each bought a giant cone.

The rain didn’t let up, and the air conditioning plus your wet clothing made it unbearable after a while. You make a break for the car and Bucky blasts the heat, while you sit there waiting for the rain to stop.

You head home, have dinner, and someone mentions that there’s a late showing of a new movie, you’ll make it if you leave now. You run to the car, and miss the previews, but you sit between your boys, happy as can be. Even if the three of you fell asleep and had to be woken up the usher when it was over.

It was one of the happiest days of your life. There was no work, no missions, no stress. Just the three of you. You could just be.

It is a moment you search for when things feel impossible. When you want to throw something at Steve. When Bucky forgets something and you feel like you’re losing parts of him. The perfect day. Even with the sunburns, the sand caking your bodies, the wet clothes in your car, the wasted movie ticket. None of it mattered, except for the people around you. Because it was also the day you realized you loved them.

It’s what you remind yourself of as you drive to the hospital as another contraction hits. Your stomach tightens painfully and your whole body goes rigid.

You cry out, your hand grasping the arm rest with a death grip. The pain would be worth it. The babies would be here soon. It’ll all be fine. Totally fucking fine. But holy fuck it hurt.

“Can you go any fucking slower?” You look over at Bucky. He, for the record, looks about ready to pass out but is still in better shape than Steve.

“I swear this is the only day ever there is traffic,” Bucky mumbles. He wasn’t wrong, the drive normally took less than twenty minutes. They’d already been driving for thirty.

Steve rubs your shoulders from the backseat, “Isn’t there that festival downtown today?”

You turn in your seat, swatting Steve’s hands away, “That would have been helpful before we left, you—”

You cut yourself off as another contraction hits. You brace your hands against the door. Holy shit this hurt.

“They’re really close together,” Steve mumbles.

“Thank you for your fucking observation,” you pant. Holy shit they were. Your head lulls back against the seat. You just needed a moment, just one second to breathe. Please.

Bucky’s hand comes to pet your leg, “You’re doing great, baby. Almost there.”

“I’m never fucking doing this again,” you mumble, wanting to curl into a ball as you can already feel another one coming.

You expected the pain, but this was too much too fast. There was no time to adjust. No break between contractions.

“I feel like I need to push,” you gasped as the last one finished. There was a new pressure. You’d always wondered what women meant when they said they needed to push and this was it.

“It’s way too early,” Steve rubs your shoulders again. “You’re hours away.”

You barely manage a moan, reaching back to grab his hand, desperate for some contact now. “I’m not joking. I really feel like I need to push.”

Bucky shot you a look, “We’re two minutes out. You’re not having these babies in the car.”

You groan. The longest two minutes of your life later, you’re pulling up. Steve is out, calling for a wheelchair before helping you to your feet. You lean against him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck.

A nurse comes running out, helping you into your chair, “How are we doing, mama?” She asks.

You shake your head, bracing yourself through another contraction. When it eases, you gasp, “I feel like I need to push.”

She shoots Steve a look, “How long has she been in labour?”

“About an hour and a half?” They’d guesstimated it. Your contractions really hadn’t been painful or consistent until you started dinner.

She shakes her head, starting to wheel you inside, “You’ve got hours to go before that, don’t worry hon.”

You grip the arm rests like a vice. You were not going to be able to handle hours more of this. If this wasn’t time to push, you weren’t looking forward to what it was going to feel like. The pressure was insane.

Bucky jogged up beside you as you were wheeled up to admitting.

“Are you the father?” The nurse asks.

“Yes.” Both boys answer in unison.

She looks up in surprise, but waves you all in. They help you into a gown, into bed.

Dr Lawrence waltzes in, “I was not hoping to see you three for a couple more weeks. How are you, y/n?”

Not well. The pressure you were feeling was becoming unbearable. You grasp the sheets, your teeth clench together as you grind out, “I’m telling you all, I need to push.”

Dr Lawrence shakes her head, “You have hours to go. I was going to have my student do your first look, is that okay?”

“Fuck, fine,” you cover your eyes with your hand. “I want an epidural. And soon.”

Dr Lawrence shakes her head, “We’ll let you labour for a while. It’ll only slow things down now.”

“Oh fuck me,” you murmur, pressing a hand to you eyes.

Bucky kisses the top of your head, “You’re doing great.”

Steve squeezes your other hand, “We just want what’s best, baby, it’ll be over before you know it.” You wanted to smack him in the face. No, the groin.

You life your legs into the stirrups as the student takes a look. You feel some pressure as they check your dilation and then, “Um, Dr Lawrence...”

Your head shoots up, “What’s wrong?”

Steve and Bucky are on either side of you, their hands tighten on yours.

Dr Lawrence practically shoved the student out of the way, “Let me see...” Her eyes widen, “Oh, you do need to push.”

You straighten, “What?”

She looks up at you from between your legs, “You’re ten centimetres dilated. I can see the first baby’s head. It’s coming right now.”

You frantically look between your boys, terror rocketing through you, “I want the epidural. Now.”

Dr Lawrence shakes her head, “oh, it’s too late for that now.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Bucky squeezes your hand, “You’ll be fine, baby.”

Steve leans forward to kiss your forehead, “You’ve got this, baby.”

“Oh the next contraction, you need to push,” Dr Lawrence commands.

Well fuck.

And you push. And push. And push.

You fall back against the bed. Gasping. Your whole body on fire.

“One more push!”

You wanted to shake your head, to turn away and cry. But the contraction built up and you screamed as you pushed. Hard.

And then the first baby is out. You grasp your boys hands to your chest as you wait for a cry. It’s too early, it’s only thirty-two weeks. You know that they might not cry, they might go straight to the ICU, but—

A wail fills the room.

You let go of their hands, desperately reaching for your baby.

“It’s a boy!” Dr Lawrence places the baby against your chest.

“Oh,” you gasp. “Hello.”

Your perfect, perfect baby boy. Who is still crying, but you wrap your arms around him, holding him close.

“Oh my god,” Bucky mumbles, reaching out to touch his cheek. His perfect little cheek.

Steve kisses the top of your head, “Good job, baby.”

You can’t keep your eyes off of him, you can feel your whole body trembling. The whole ordeal isn’t over, but he’s so perfect.

“I love you so much, Henry,” you murmur, as the nurse reaches out to take him from your arms.

“Okay, good job, y/n,” Dr Lawrence says, “One more to go.”

And you push. And push.

Nothing happens. This is harder than the first time. You collapse backward, gasping for air.

“Can we get some oxygen for her please,” Dr Lawrence’s voice cuts through the room, and a mask is fitted over your nose. “Okay, one more push.”

You push again. And again. And again. You flop against the bed. Your head is spinning, and no baby yet.

“Come on, one more push,” Steve kisses the top of your head.

You can only shake your head, you can’t even tell him you can’t. You can’t do this. Your body is failing you. The ones thing it is supposed to do, you can’t do.

“Damn it, prepare for a c-section,” Dr Lawrence calls out.

“What?” You hear Steve gasp.

“The last baby isn’t coming,” Dr Lawrence’s voice is beginning to sound very far away. “Y/n stats are dropping and so is the baby’s. We need to get the baby out now.”

Tags

@booktease21 @sexyvixen7 @just-the-hiddles @fading-mentality-bouquet @a--1--1--3 @broco8 @yougottalovefandoms @hailqueenconquer @tazzi-baby @imaginebeinlovedbyme @amiets2 @prettyblueskylark @spookyparadisesheep @bloodbrink @holl2712 @navs-bhat @animegirlgeeky @fanofalltheficsx @obsssedwithjustaboutanything

#bucky barnes #stucky x pregnant!reader #steve x pregnant!reader #bucky x steve x reader #steve x reader #bucky x pregnant!reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader #stucky #pregnant reader

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way, Part 13

Okay, this took way way too long to write. A couple of things. A) language warning. B) I’m not a doctor. C) I hope I tagged everyone who wanted to be tagged! I tried! Lmk if not! D) I am a total knob with technology and I don’t know how to comment on my own posts without using my main account, so I’m not ignoring you I swear!

Just a couple more chapters, do you think they’re having girls or boys (or both)?

Bucky stood in the doorway of your bedroom, a bemused look across his face. His eyebrow twitched upward to say, are you okay with this?

Four weeks ago, the answer would have been a hard no. But you were four weeks into a strict bed rest. Steve spent the mornings at the compound and Bucky spent the mornings with you, and then they switched in the afternoons. You spent most of your time reading or learning to crochet, poorly. You were completely bored out of your mind.

So, you cracked a smile and shrugged a shoulder to let him know you weren’t 100% pleased with the situation.

Bucky’s mouth twitched into a slight smile, “Looks great, Steve.”

Steve looked up from where he sat at the end of the bed, painting your toenails. “You’re doing the other foot, this is a lot harder than it looks.”

You groaned, “How are you still on the first foot?” It had only been forty minutes.

Bucky laughed, “Let me get dinner started, okay? You two have fun.”

Your heart gave a small lurch. Bucky wasn’t okay. Not after your trip to the hospital.

He blamed himself.

You looked over at Steve, who had his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth he was concentrating so hard on your pinky toe. You kicked him in the chest with your other foot.

He blinked in surprise, “What was that for?”

You gave him an exasperated look, “Go talk to him.”

Steve looked down at your foot again, “Babe, he’s fine?”

You kicked him again. Harder. “He still blames himself for what happened, dumbass.”

It was no one’s fault really. If anyone was to blame it was your biology. But Steve had yelled at Bucky about the sex, blamed him for the bleeding, on the way to the hospital. Dr Lawrence had said the sex hadn’t caused it but nothing had been the same since. Bucky hadn’t slept in the same room as either of you since. He came in to check on you and Steve. He cracked jokes, made dinner, but kept his distance.

He was beating himself up for this and you weren’t going to take it anymore.

When Steve didn’t answer, you started to heave yourself up, “If you won’t go talk to him, I will.”

“No, no,” Steve put his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to sit. “I will okay. I’m sorry.”

An hour later, Bucky and Steve came in carrying food. Steve handed you a plate and settled in beside you, Bucky seemed to be hesitant to join. He stood beside the bed, ringing his hands nervously.

Your heart gave a little lurch, he did a really good job at making himself look small.

You opened your arm up to him, “Come sit with me, baby.”

He seemed to rock back and forth on his heels, “Every time I want to touch you, my head screams at me that you’re going to start bleeding again.”

You looked over at Steve, who hung his head slightly. He knew this and you’d beat his ass for it later.

“I’m okay, baby, I swear,” you lied through your fucking teeth. “Come sit with me, please.”

Bucky sat at the edge of the bed, not touching you. This would be a start tomorrow he would scoot an inch closer. In three days you’d be hip to hip. In a week he’d kiss your forehead. It would be okay.

But for now, you started with, “So can someone tell me something interesting please? Facebook can only keep me so entertained.”

———

Four Weeks Ago

Dr Laurence was wearing heels. At four am.

It was such an odd detail, but it was the first thing you noticed when you got to the hospital. You didn’t even make it to the compound. The hospital was closer.

Steve carried you into the ER, yelling frantically for help. You were placed on a gurney, and Dr Laurence was at your side a moment later. She was speaking quickly, but you weren’t sure what she way saying. She looked to Bucky and Steve for answers. She was putting gloves on, reaching for the ultrasound.

You were looking at her shoes. Valentino nude pumps, you’d seen them online two days ago and laughed at the price.

You were barely aware that the ultrasound probe had entered you.

Bucky was petting your hair.

You just stared at her shoes.

The moment you looked away, you would have to start to cope with Steve screaming at Bucky the whole way here. The way your sheets were stained with blood at home. The fact you had a house showing in the morning, and you were going to miss it. The fact you had a million unopened boxes of baby things in your apartment.

Your head just screamed the moment you looked away from Dr Laurence’s shoes, she would tell you your babies were dead.

Your ears rang.

Yesterday, they’d been so active. You were cursing their movements begging for a moment of reprieve. You’d do anything for a small kick right now.

“Y/n!” Dr Laurence looked up at you from between your legs.

You lifted your head from the bed, you tried to speak but no words came out.

She motioned at the ultrasound, “It looks like placenta previa. The bleeding seems to have stopped, but I’m going to get you a transfusion. We’re just looking for a heartbeat now...”

You frowned, placenta previa, that was something you’d read about. That was a normal risk, something that could happen to anyone. And the babies...

The familiar sound of their heartbeats filled your ears.

It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

That was it. The flood gates opened and you started to sob. Steve wrapped his arms around you first. Bucky was next, he embraced the two of you, kissing your forehead gently.

Their words filled your ears, setting a blanket of comfort over you.

“They’re okay, you’re okay.”

“It’ll be okay, you’ve got this.”

“Breathe, just breathe for now.”

“We love you so, so much.”

———

“Okay, we cannot be this unorganized, guys seriously?” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

Busy and Steve stood at the end of the bed, their arms crossed over their chest. You sat in bed, your hair in the messiest of buns, looking down at the mess they’d brought you to sort through.

“Well what do you propose?” Steve asked.

“For starters,” You motioned at the mountain of baby clothes in front of you, “Why do we have eight different outfits that were brining to the hospital. There’s two babies.” You held up two fingers for emphasis.

Bucky scratched his head, “This mommy blog said you need two outfits, in case one of them doesn’t fit. Plus, we don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl.”

“They should look cute when coming home,” Steve asserted.

You only blinked. If someone had said this would be your life one year ago, you would have died laughing.

“Okay, fine,” you grabbed the nearest shirt. “We could go gender neutral, you know that right?”

It’s not like you had any shortage of gendered clothing though either. Tony had loaded you up with boy clothing, swearing you would be having two. Natasha had done the same for girl clothing. And Steve had managed to pick out the most extravagant outfits from each section.

“We can,” Steve conceded. “But I want us to have options. See what they look like when they come out.”

Your nose crinkled. You fucking hated that. Come out. Like they would just slide out of you, no issues.

You rubbed your temples, “Okay, but I refuse to have my kids dress matchy matchy their entire lives. They can if they want, but I will never make them wear the same outfit.”

Bucky chuckled, coming to sit on the bed beside you, “That’s going to go over well.”

You glared at him as he completely destroyed your pile of folded baby clothes.

Steve ran his hand through his hair aggressively, “But they’d look so cute.”

You shook your head, “Only if they want to. They need to have their own personalities.”

Steve looked ready to lose his mind, “But...pictures.”

You levelled him with your mom look. You’d been practicing. “I’ll give you Christmas cards. If the two of you also dress matchy matchy if we have a boys.”

“Deal,” Steve didn’t even hesitate.

You could picture it now. Two little boys in dorky ugly Christmas sweaters and beige khakis, their hair spiked up and Steve and Bucky marching to a tee. Oh it would be glorious, but you realized a moment too late you had forgotten yourself in that picture.

You cleared your throat, “Okay, names.”

Bucky reached over, rubbing his hand over where the babies were most active. A slight smile played on his lips as he leaned over to brush his lips over your bare skin.

You tried your best to ignore the shiver of pleasure that went down your spine.

“I don’t care,” Bucky murmured, “I think we should see what they look like when they come out.”

“No,” you ran your hand through his hair. “We pick now or at least get some options.”

Steve came to sit on your other side, disrupting the rest of your pile. You rolled your eyes, so much for nothing.

“Poppy?” He suggested.

You shook your head, “I like Penelope, not Poppy. I don’t believe in naming a kid a nickname. It feels final.”

They both looked at you funny, but you stood by it.

“What about Carter,” you suggested.

“No!” Both boys said in unison. You stopped, thinking about why that name wouldn’t work before bursting out laughing.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Steve!” You reached over to stroke his face. “Not Carter.”

He chuckled, “It’s not a bag suggestion. I’d love to honour Peggy, but Sharron might think I named them after her.”

You burst out laughing. What an awkward situation that would be. One you’d pay to see.

“Okay, guys,” you snapped your fingers a couple of times, “We need a couple more names. Some more ideas. Let’s go.”

The name started flowing, and you started feeling more comfortable. Aaron, Grace, Henry, Bonnie, Andrew, Katherine.

You relaxed into your pillows. Your babies would have names. No matter what happened.

———

The boys stayed awake at your side while you slept.

You woke a couple of hours, having only slept for what felt like a short moment to find the two of them drinking coffee and nibbling on muffins.

“You look like shit,” you commented, stretching an arm over your head.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “Look in the mirror, sweetheart.”

You grasped your hand to you chest in mock hurt, “Oh, burn.” You said sarcastically.

Steve chuckled, getting up to come over and kiss your forehead, “We’re just glad you’re okay.”

You stroked his beard lovingly, “I’m okay, and now I’m worried about you two. I’m fine, go home and shower and sleep. Please.”

Steve pressed another kiss to your forehead before moving to sit down beside Bucky, “Not gonna happen, baby.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not going to have the babies today. You’re useless to me tired. Go home. Please.”

Bucky shook his head, “We’ll take turns, how about that?”

You rolled your eyes, “You two need to talk and go get me some stuff. Please, let me worry about you two right now instead of myself. Just for a moment. It would make me feel better if you just got some rest at home.”

It took some more convincing, but they finally left. And you were left in peaceful silence. You looked down at your belly. One of the babies gave a swift kick. You smoothed over the spot gently, “I love you, please stay in there a while longer, okay?”

“We’re going to do everything in our power to do so,” Dr Laurence stood in the door way.

You smiled, “I can’t thank you enough for being here last night.”

She nodded, coming to sit on the stool by your bed. She didn’t look happy. You braced a hand protectively over your belly.

She tapped her tablet with a manicured nail, “I’m concerned.”

“Okay...?”

“I’m not going to be gentle. Your blood pressure is through the roof,” she clarified. “You’re at risk for preeclampsia, your labs suggest that this half of your pregnancy is going to be hard. You’re in for a world of hurt. And I don’t think delivery is going to be any easier. I don’t think a vaginal delivery will be an option. You will be on bed rest until you give birth, and I doubt you’ll make it to thirty five weeks. In all honestly, I’ll be impressed if you make it to thirty. But your medical history and labs also suggests a c-section is also not a good option.”

You let out a little laugh, leaning back against the headboard. “The last time I saw you, you were singing praises for how well things were going.”

Her mouth tightened into a thin line, “I also said you should be taking it easy and lowering your stress levels.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, “Are you suggesting I did something wrong?”

Dr Laurence raked a hand through her hair, “I’m not saying you did, but I’m saying we need to start taking this seriously now because I’m not sure how to get the three of you through a safe delivery.”

Your mouth went dry. ‘The three of you,’ had always been you, Bucky, and Steve. It took on a whole new meaning when it was in reference to you and your children.

You may not have lost them last night, but you were well on your way.

“You’ll be on strict bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy,” Dr Laurences’ voice softened. “The good news is, the bleeding has stopped and you’ll be able to go home soon for a couple of weeks at least. We’ll do everything we can to get your blood pressure under control.”

Your hands shook as you reached up to wipe away a tear. “Not of a word of this to the boys.”

Her eyesbrows rose to her hairline, “They need to know so they can take care of you.”

You shook your head, “I have one who is a stiffling mother hen. If he’s worked up, so am I. And the other one is recovering from a major head trauma. He doesn’t remember everything in the last eighteen months. The only thing I can do for him now is to help him get back to where he was.”

“No,” Dr Laurence shook her head. “You need to take this seriously now or you will not make it through delivery. If they think you’re fine and brush it off as a little blood, you will end up in a much worse situation.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “We’re not going to play this game, doctor. I will take this seriously and if you put me on bed rest, I will follow it. I just don’t want the risks exposed to my boyfriends. And, you do get to tell them without my consent.”

Dr Laurence looked like she was ready to throw her tablet. “Fine, but the moment things start going south, you will end up in hospital supervised bed rest.”

You glared right back at her, “Looking forward to it.”

————

You sat between your boys watching TV when it happened.

You paused, your food halfway to your face as you felt another tightening in your stomach. They had been happening all day, but all of the sudden you were aware of one thing, it was far too painful for it not to be a contraction.

You dropped your fork onto the duvet.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked jumping to his feet.

You quirked your head to the side, looking down at your belly, “I think I’m in labour.”

“Shit!” Steve was suddenly gone.

Bucky calmly took your plate and fork and put them on the side table, “You sure?”

“Mmhmmm,” you hummed, as you let out a long breath. “We probably have hours to go though.”

Bucky nodded, “Let me call Dr Laurence.”

Your mouth tightened. She was the last person you wanted to see. You especially didn’t want to hear her gloat that she was right, you’d only made it to thirty-two weeks. Damn her.

Steve’s head popped in the room, “But it’s too early!” And he was gone again.

Your eyebrows rose to your hair line, he was taking this as well as you expected.

On your other side, Bucky put his phone to his chest and said, “Dr Laurence wants you to come in right away.”

You pinched your nose, “I don’t want to labour for the next twelve hours there when I can do it from home.”

Bucky relayed that information to her. And then asked, “Has your water broken?”

You shook your head.

Steve walked through the bedroom, going into the bathroom, talking a mile a minute. “—and we don’t have enough nipple cream!” Was all you caught. You could hear drawers being rummaged through in the bathroom.

“She says to come in anyways,” Bucky relayed to you. “And she says you’re clearly not taking this seriously.”

You rolled your eyes, of course she did.

“And we need another bathroom,” Steve murmured as he walked out of the room again.

“Fine,” you snapped. “And go calm Steve down.”

Another contraction hit hard. Your breath hitched.

Your birth plan, if you were having a vaginal delivery, was to go all natural, but now you were thinking an epidural sounded wonderful.

“You okay?” Bucky rubbed your back.

You took deep breaths, but nodded weakly. “Let’s go, please.”

He nodded, leaving the room to get Steve and your bags, but Steve stood at the door, bags in hand and simply said, “We need to go, guys.”

Bucky came around the bed to help you up. His arms around you, you barely made it out the bedroom before you felt a rush of fluids.

“Well, fuck.” Bucky mumbled.

Tags

#bucky barnes #steve x pregnant!reader #bucky x steve x reader #steve x reader #stucky x pregnant!reader #stucky x reader #stucky #bucky x pregnant!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way is still going on!

I’m in my last three weeks of finishing two degrees right now! The next part is almost done but I want to be able to actually focus on it. It’s coming!

—K

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Fun game: did I just make an ass out of myself or am I surrounded by asshole?

I’m gonna be second guessing myself for the next week ✌️

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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He’s the ketchup to Seb’s fries

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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1 Year Later...

I’ve been thinking a lot about the pandemic and where I was exactly one year ago.

1 year ago, I was very depressed, I didn’t care about anything. I was sleeping with this guy because I thought it was what I should be doing and everyone told me I should, even though I didn’t feel anything when I was with him. I was constantly surrounded by people but felt immensely lonely. I spent 100% of my time in my phone, I handed papers in late, I missed commitments, I rarely did laundry, and I didn’t eat because I didn’t want to get fat.

But no one knew this. I did everything right. I got high nineties in all my classes. I was a decent enough athlete that everyone respected me. I always said I didn’t want to go out because of school and everyone knew I was trying to get into law school and just accepted it.

I was just numb.

Then, the pandemic happened. I was forced to move in with my parents. I lost my job. I lost people. School became a pass/fail benchmark. The guy I was sleeping with rejected me. I had an abundance of time on my hands to do absolutely nothing. I drank a lot. I slept all day. I fought with my mom. I did the bare minimum.

And something changed, somewhere. I don’t know where. My parents forced me to get a job. Then I got offered another one and I took it because I was low on cash. A professor took special interest in my work. I really enjoyed the company of my coworkers. I didn’t have time to wallow in myself.

I started to look forward to downtime. I started a new hobby. I made scarves for everyone in my life. I realized I’m kind of funny. I started a new self care ritual and realized it was about self respect. I started to enjoy my own company.

I woke up this morning, in my new apartment. I emptied the dishwasher, made coffee and eggs, and checked my work email. I joked around with my roommate and we made plans to go for a walk later. I called my mom and we actually talked. For over thirty minutes.

Yesterday, I was excited to write the script for a presentation. I turned down a really good job offer that I didn’t want and felt immensely satisfied doing it. I saw the guy I was sleeping with who rejected me and my gut dropped but I said hi and moved on. I asked my roommate to go get ice cream at 9:30pm when they closed at 10pm and we giggled the whole way there.

I got accepted into my dream program last week. I organized a committee of thirty people and looked forward to the meeting to do my presentation.

I have some bad days, like I can’t get motivated to read two chapters of my textbook right now. But, I’m thinking about the paper I have to write next week and I’m getting excited about the topic.

I don’t know when things changed for me but the point is that they did. I don’t recognize myself half the time, but I’m really starting to like where I’m going.

Maybe you don’t like where you’re at, and maybe you’re struggling, but it’s just a temporary set back. A year ago, I would have never seen myself where I am today. I couldn’t have dreamed I’d be here, but I am immensely happy that I kept trying.

Sometimes you just have to say “yes” once for your life to change.

Everyday, put one foot in front of the other. Fake it until you make it, because you will 💗💗💗

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Delivery guy: *says he'll be there in 40 minutes*

Bucky in 40 minutes and 30 seconds when he doesn't see the car: The world....is upside down right now.

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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wanda and agatha having a full on battle:

meanwhile, the two visions:

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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My friend was doing an anonymous survey for a class and asked, what is the most inconvient part about COVID lockdowns?

And I really said the lack of sex

And he freaking messaged me to ask if it was me who said it

#big oops

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way, Part 12

Okay, warning on this one. It gets steamy at the end so 18+. Also, if anyone has read ACOSF and has a book hangover like me (and can’t get over the steaminess) lmk

You and Steve sat shoulder to shoulder in his hospital bed. Both of you had your arms crossed as you stared down the doctor in front of you. Doctor Beeton, who’d you never wanted to see again. Not because he was a bad doctor, but because Bucky couldn’t remember the last eighteen months.

The last five days had been tough. Bucky had gone through countless tests and it became clear his memory went blank the week before the three of you had slept together for the first time. Steve was doing a lot better, he’d even started walking around and was being discharged today. But you hadn’t seen Bucky since he woke up.

Doctor Beeton sat on a black stool, explaining, “All tests indicate that this should be acute. Bucky’s had a lot of head trauma, so we can’t predict how or if it will come back.”

You closed your eyes, leaning your head against the back of the bed. Bucky had enough memory problems without this. You often had to repeat the same thing over and over to him already. You remembered once, months ago, telling him four times you were going to see a movie with a friend. Steve had been on a mission. He’d called you in a panic when you weren’t at home.

You sign, leveling Doctor Beeton with a stare, “We’re about to have two babies. Twins. Is there anything you can do?”

Steve squeezed your thigh.

The doctor shook his head. “This is going to have to come back on its own. We’ve talked about this before,” he looked to Steve.

Who nodded solemnly, and explained to you, “We had tests run a while ago. Buck’s memory just isn’t the best because of all the wiping and head trauma in the past. It’s not getting worse, or it wasn’t, but he’s got all these blank spots. Like, the first three months after the blip or everything that happened when he was fifteen. And you’ve seen how he can be with some details.”

You nodded, sighing again. “Okay, so what do we do?”

“You go home, Bucky can be discharged today too,” the doctor explained. “Get back to a normal routine. It’ll help jog his memory.”

You and Steve exchanged a look, what the fuck was a normal routine?

———

“So, we lived here?” Bucky looked at Steve for confirmation. You hadn’t broke the news yet that you were a throuple, Buck thought he and Steve had gotten a place together off the compound. And you were just tagging along to make sure they were okay. Because you were just the Avengers secretary.

The place didn’t exactly look like two men lived here though. It had been yours before they had moved in. Bucky surveyed the entrance with a big round, gold accent mirror. And the pictures on the wall of your college girlfriends, your childhood pets, and the three of you.

You stood behind him as he entered the apartment, peering into the living room. With your vintage green velvet couches, marble tables with gold accents, vases full of plants and flowers. He peeked at the book shelf, every book on historical fiction, romance fantasy, or social theory. All yours. Neither of their tastes remotely.

He surveyed the small table you had, big enough for four. You scratched your head, would it fit two small children soon? It was dark wood with a bench pressed against one wall and two chairs on the other side. It had been the only way to fit it into the space. The walls were a coral sea pink accent wall and gold hanging lights. He walked into the kitchen, looking specifically at the pink flowers you had on the breakfast bar. “We didn’t actually live here, did we?” He asked Steve.

“You did,” you answer. You motion for him to walk to the table. He follows from the kitchen, awkwardly taking one of the chairs as you slide into the bench sighing with relief. Your legs felt ready to give out by this point. “You lived here with me.”

Steve slid into the bench beside you, taking your hand.

Bucky’s eyes fixated on your hands. You remembered that in his mind, it was eighteen months ago. And eighteen months ago, he and Steve had a pact not to sleep or date you because they both wanted you.

“So you two are a couple then?” Bucky asked coolly. “And I just slept in the spare room.”

“Not...exactly,” Steve looked to you for help.

“Buck,” you said, “just hear me out. A lot has changed...a week after what you remember, the Avengers had their annual fundraiser event.”

Bucky nodded, “I remember getting a suit for that.”

You nodded, you had booked this fitting. It had been two days before Bucky stopped remembering. “At the party, I got a little drunk and I asked the two of you to sleep with me. You had been drinking that strong stuff that Thor brings and we’re also pretty drunk. And you did.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “We had a threesome?”

Steve nodded.

Bucky’s face blanched. You remember that he was going through the same emotions as last time, realizing he had sex with his best friend in the world, and who he’d had a crush on since they were kids.

Bucky looked at Steve and asked, “And you were okay with this?”

Steve’s face twisted, “No, I wasn’t for a long time actually.”

You scratched the side of your head, “Steve struggles with being a little...closeted. He’s really not out to most people. But the three of us started hanging out and having sex with each other, regularly. And then you two moved in here. And I got pregnant. And here we are...” You trailed off. That was over simplifying it a bit.

Bucky’s eyebrows were touching his hairline. “What?” He breathed.

“The thee of us are a throuple, a relationship with three people,” Steve clarified. “Or as y/n called it, a super secret super solider threesome. Because no one knew about us.”

Bucky surveyed the two if you, leaning back in his chair uncertainly. “And now?”

You wrinkled your nose, “Everyone thinks I was sleeping with both of you separately. Because you two got into a big fight when I got pregnant. So everyone assumed it was over who the father is.”

Bucky’s eyes dropped to your belly, which was very obvious in your empire waisted, pink maxi dress. “Who is the father?”

You run your hand up and down your bump protectively, “We don’t know. You and I decided it wasn’t important.”

A terrible thought ran through your head, what if Bucky didn’t want the babies now?

He cocked his head to the side. “So what was the fight about?”

Steve cleared his throat, looking sheepishly down at his hands. “I walked out when y/n told us, and we got into a brawl. And then I asked her to get an abortion. And then I heard the heartbeats and I wanted her to leave you to be with me and have the babies. And then she told me it wasn’t going to happen. And then you and I got into a fight because I asked you to be with me. Without her.”

Your head snapped to the side, well you didn’t know about that. There would definitely be a conversation about that later. Bucky just raised an eyebrow.

“But,” Steve continued. “I’m back and I want to be part of this family. With both of you and our children.”

“Children?”

———

Bucky seemed to be taking the news rather well, in a way of not talking to either of you for the last four hours and staring at a wall way. But he hadn’t walked out yet.

He sat with his arms crossed over his chest, contemplating for most of the rest of the day. Occasionally, he looked over at asked a clarifying question. One of you would answer and he’d go back to his silent thought.

Neither you or Steve said a word to each other in fear of disturbing Bucky.

It was late when you heaved yourself to your feet, placing a hand under your bump, you finally addressed Bucky. “I’m going to get ready for bed. I just want to know where you’d like to sleep tonight.”

He finally blinked, looking up at you. No, not at you, but at your belly, “huh?”

“Do you want to sleep with us or there’s a pullout couch in the spareroom. It’s a nursery now, but...”

He swallowed hard, looking to where Steve was minding his own business, pretending to read a book. “Can I sleep on the pullout couch, please?”

You would under normal circumstances squeeze his shoulder at his uncertainty, but you remembered how much Bucky hated little affectionate gestures in your early relationship. “Of course, baby,” you said instead. He looked at yor quizzically and you realized you shouldn’t have used the pet name. Clearing your throat, you said, “Let me get that ready for you.”

“You shouldn’t—“ Bucky started, staring at your belly.

Steve stood, “I’ll help. It’s okay, relax.”

You rolled your eyes, “I can unfold a damn pullout couch.” Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise, it was probably the first time he’d ever heard you swear. You took a lelvelling breath before saying, “Steve, I’ll find the sheets and you get the couch, okay?”

He nodded in agreement.

You went to the hall closet, pausing to let Steve pass you in the narrow space. Closing your eyes, you could see it five years from now. Trying to walk down this hallway with a laundry basket while two five year olds being chased by Steve and Bucky with nerf guns barrelled the other way. Oh no, this place was definitely not going to be big enough for the five of you soon enough.

You entered your former office, now nursery. Bucky had painted the walls a gentle green. No furniture was in here yet, except your couch from when you were in college (soon to be tossed to the curb), the rocking chair you’d ordered last week, and a couple of unopened boxes of baby furniture.

“Sit,” Steve instructed, nodding towards the rocking chair.

You did as he asked, stroking your belly as you commented, “Just a friendly reminder you’re not supposed to be doing anything too strenuous either. You were just impaled.”

He rolled his eyes, pushing a box to the corner of the room. “I would hardly call moving these boxes strenuous.”

You rocked back and forth slowly, “So you asked Bucky to leave me?”

Steve paused, he propped his arm on a tall box and looked at you, “While we were on mission, and he gave me hell for it. I also decided I was done being scared and I would be there for both of you. And them.” He nodded at your belly.

You could easily start a fight about this. Instead, you nodded and said, “I think we need to move.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “When we suggested moving in together, didn’t you say this place was a once and a lifetime investment? That it would pay for itself one day and you loved it too much to sell.”

You pursed your lips, this apartment was your first love. You bought. You fixed it up and decorated it. You’d literally sought exclusively jobs in this area to avoid ever having to move again. You had once thought this place was enough for you, and now it was feeling a little cramped.

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitched upwards. “You’re nesting. If we’re gonna move soon, let’s at least do it while the baby stuff is still in boxes, yes?”

You rolled your eyes, “Pull out the damn couch, Rogers.”

———

The following morning you sat at the breakfast bar, a beagle in hand, munching away happily.

“Okay, so we’re supposed to get back into some kind of routine,” Steve stood on the other side, leaning against your kitchen counter. “So, we typically started each day by going on a run.”

You looked over to Bucky, who quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re not running,” you clarified, knowing his unasked question. “You’re still under concussion protocol. So, you an I are going for a walk.”

Bucky straightened at that, “It’s really okay, I can just—”

“Not an option, soldier,” you stood. He gazed at you in your leggings, a tight compression shirt that made you look very pregnant, and a high pony. You’d have liked to go on a run too, albeit much shorter and slower. “This is our time to chat and you can ask me a million questions. And I can tell you embarrassing stories about Steve that you missed out on.”

“Hey!” Steve raised his hands in defence.

“You,” you pointed at him, “are also under orders to take it easy.”

“Yeah, hold on.” Bucky said, “Why aren’t you walking with us.”

Steve shrugged, “I’m a super solder who was stabbed in the gut, I heal fast. Your brain doesn’t. We don’t know how many concussions you’ve had, we’re not messing with concussions.”

The golden rule: don’t mess with concussions.

“Steve’s gonna run with Sam,” you interjected. Steve raised an eyebrow. “He’s outside. You’re to follow his pace for today.”

Steve rolled his eyes, pushing off the counter. It would inevitably be a very slow run for him, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alright, soldier,” you nudge his foot with yours. The closest you’d be getting to an affectionate gesture anytime soon you realized with a slight heart ache. “You’re not getting any younger.”

He laughed, standing to grab his shoes. “So, what’s next in the routine after a walk?”

Bucky, ever the gentleman, opened the door for you and let you walk down the stairs first. You knew he was keeping a close eye on you, even as you gripped the railing.

“We make breakfast,” you started, thinking of the list you and Steve had made last night. “Then we go to work. We used to take separate cars, when we were keeping this a secret, but now I guess we’ll drive in together? I mean, as long as you’re comfortable with that.”

Bucky blinked in surprise.

You opened to door to your building, the crisp morning greeting you. You started on your usual walk, trying to take on a brisk pace.

“I mean, doesn’t everyone already know?” Bucky asked.

You nodded, “Pretty much everyone. You and I have been acting like a couple ever since we found out about the babies.”

Bucky swallowed hard. You realized he hadn’t said a word about the babies yet.

“How are you feeling about everything?” You asked, trying to subtly steer the conversation in a direction where you could ask how he felt about the babies.

He shrugged. “I mean, this isn’t the first time I’ve woken up without a memory. I’ll adjust, untangle everything as we go.”

You nodded, “A lot has changed this time though...”

He glanced at you, and you made a pointed gesture at your belly.

Bucky ran his hands through his hair. “Okay, eighteen months ago I couldn’t image this. Eighteen months ago you were the hot secretary. In our last conversation, you told me you were craving an afternoon delight and were referring to coffee. But I still obsessed about it for the next two days, wondering if it was an invitation.”

You smirked, “It was.”

“The point is,” he took a deep breath, “we were all different people the. I would have done anything to sleep with you, let alone go on a date with you. Stev was the guy I’d loved forever and I was content to be his friend. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, but...I never thought it’d happen to me, and I was okay with that.”

You really wanted to take his hand, instead focusing on fiddling with your fingers to ease the ache of needing to feel him.

“What I’m hearing,” you said, “is that you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted, and you don’t know how to handle it.”

He shot you an exasperated look, “I thought we were going to be talking about fun facts about our relationship.”

You took that as him wanting to change the conversation and launched into a story about Steve getting the three of you lost hiking.

When you got back to the apartment, you were a little more winded than you would have liked to admit and the stairs hadn’t helped. Your back ached and you desperately wanted to go lie down.

“Can I get you something?” Bucky asked.

“Water?” You asked, sliding into a seat.

You watched Bucky reach for a cup in a cupboard, without having to tell him which. He even grabbed your favourite cup. Everything would be okay.

———

The three of you settled into a new routine. You and Bucky went for walks together until he was cleared to run, first with Sam then with Steve.

You went to work for nine. They both walked you to your office and would come have lunch with you. At five, you’d leave together.

You’d come home, each of you taking turns to cook dinner. You’d typically end the night watching a show and be in bed early. Bucky would sleep in the spare room and you’d sleep with Steve.

Every other week you had an ultrasound and Bucky had an assessment.

You and Bucky had a secret habit though. Most night you woke up with the babies kicking wildly. You’d get up to avoid waking Steve and go sit and read in the living room. Bucky was typically waiting for you, up with a nightmare or just not able to sleep.

Most of the time you’d sit in silence. Sometimes Bucky would read off some headline from this phone or you’d recount something someone had said on your day.

There had been no change in Bucky’s memories but he seemed to be getting more comfortable with you and Steve. Life went on. There was nothing you could do about it, so you just went on.

Until Wednesday. A random Wednesday that you would remember for the rest of your life.

It didn’t start out so special. Your alarm went off and your cursed at Steve for setting it in the first place. Sleep was hard to come by and you were twenty six weeks pregnant and hating it already.

“You were the one who wanted a morning walk,” Steve rolled over, tracing your belly. He kissed his way up your neck and you swatted him away, feeling remarkably unsexy.

“Fuck off, you have to run,” you rolled over and placed your feet on the ground. Your back already ached and your head was throbbing. Today was not going to be a good day, you decided internally. You rolled your neck and got up to face the day.

Bucky was sitting in the kitchen when you got up. “Morning,” he grumbled over a cup of coffee.

You nodded in agreement, you’d both been up from two till three doing buzzfeed quizzes. According to buzzfeed, you should be dyeing your hair green. You were not considering it.

You poured yourself a cup of coffee and waddled to sit beside Bucky at the breakfast bar. Your back squeezed painfully as you sat and Bucky noticed.

He reached out a hand to steady you and help lower you to the chair. “You okay?”

You shrugged, “Pregnancy. My back just really hurts.” You propped your head on your hand and wiggled your eyebrows as you said flatly, “I booked myself a pregnancy massage for tomorrow though.”

Bucky propped his head on his head, mirror you as he said equally as flatly, “Wow.”

“Alright!” Steve clapped his hands together, booming as he came in the room. “Let’s get moving!”

You looked at Bucky, “I’m gonna castrate him.”

“Why!?” Steve asked.

You peered around Bucky and said, “Fifty percent less chance of pregnancy. That’s how I see. It’s almost effective strategy for birth control.”

Bucky frowned, “Thats really not how statistics works. If you have two fully fertile men hat you’re sleeping with at the same time, that wouldn’t decrease your odds by fifty percent. It would maybe be like twenty five or ten...”

You smirked, “So I’m sleeping with both of you now?”

Bucky blushed a deep shade of red.

You stood, leaning over to kiss his cheek as you went. He froze under your touch and you retracted it like you’d been burned, wholly unaware of the subconscious gesture. “Buck—” you started.

He cleared his throat, not making eye contact as he looked at Steve. “Let’s go.”

You spun to look at Steve, who eyed you with wide eyed uncertainty.

———

You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky not talking to you, even as you sat in a meeting with your two maternity replacements. Jenna and Alicia. You hated them both. Two bland, corporate machines. You picked them because you figured they would follow instructions and wouldn’t care enough to actually get good at your job and start trying to make changes. Besides, there was too much to teach and too little time. You would give them each select tasks and they could figure out the rest.

“The one thing upon need to remember is that every call goes through five different people before it gets to you,” you shifted in easily. Your back was really aching. “Don’t waste your time with stupid questions. Get to the point, who are they. Who do they want to talk to and why. You each have a cheat sheet with how to direct calls and who is willing to talk to who?”

They peered down at the lengthy binder you’d made for them. You were beginning to think it wasn’t enough.

“Take five, ladies,” Tony called, entering your office.

They scurried off, afraid to even look at Tony. Yeah, this was going to go over really well.

You stood on uneasy legs as you came around to give Tony a hug, “Thank god you’re here. They bore me to tears.” Tony wrapped an arm around you and your back seized. You flinched, hard.

Tony pulled back, putting his hands on your shoulders, “Are you okay?”

You were nearly in tears but you nodded, “Yeah, the babies just kicked really hard.” You lied. He obviously didn’t buy it but he let you go sit in your chair. You sighed in almost instant relief.

“What can I do for you Tony?” You asked, spinning slightly as you stroked your belly.

“I came to talk about your maternity leave,” he started. You just rolled your eyes. This was becoming an old song and dance.

“I’ll work till I pop or the doc says I can’t.”

He pursed his lips, “I’m worried your going to run yourself thin and then something bad is going to happen.”

You waved him off, “Nothing is going to happen. I had an ultrasound last week. Everything looked great.”

Tony shook his head, “I have a really bad feeling. I can’t explain it. But I do.”

You touched your chest, “You’re worried about me.”

“It’s not funny.”

“No you care, it’s sweet. It’s misplaced but it’s sweet. I’m totally fine. You can put that worrying into finding me a house though.”

Tony rolled his eyes this time, “I knew this was coming. That cramped little space is not going to work soon.”

———

Steve and Bucky came to get you at five. Bucky didn’t meet your eye as you left.

He sat in the back seat of the car on your way home and he went and sat in his room as soon as you got home.

“Did I fucking break him?” You whispered at Steve as soon as the two of you got into the kitchen.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, “No, he’s just...you threw him for a loop.”

You leaned against the counter, fisting your hands through your hair. “I can’t live like this, Steve. I can’t just not touch him. I can’t just ignore how he flinches every time I get close.”

Steve held out a hand, “Take a deep breath. If this was two years ago, he’d have gotten on a motorcycle and have been out of state in an hour. If this was the start of our relationship, he’d have reacted the same way. We dealt with it then, we’re dealing with it now. You have to let him come to you.”

You closed your eyes, leaning against the cabinet. He had to come to you. For everything, especially touching.

The rest of the night was spent in silence. Bucky didn’t even come out for dinner. You and Steve went to bed early.

You woke up a 1:58am. Steve was snoring beside you and the babies were doing gymnastics inside of you.

Your heart twisted, you wondered if Bucky would be sitting in the living room waiting for you. Probably not.

You stood up, your back twisting painfully. You couldn’t freaking wait for that massage.

You made it down the hall and saw a soft light on in the living room. Bucky was sitting there, on his phone. He didn’t even look up as you padded up behind him. He just said, “Have you seen the video of the raccoon with the cotton candy?”

You let out a laugh of surprise. “Yeah, I have. But let me see it again.”

Bucky was sitting in the green armchair. You came to sit in the corner of the couch, as close to him as you could get to peer over at the video.

Bucky let out a chuckle as the raccoon dipped the cotton candy in the water. You smiled warmly over at him.

“Have you the video where they give him a second piece,” you ask gently.

The look on Bucky’s face was too pure. Too excited. You ran your phone and immediately search for it.

Half an hour later, your sitting with a book in your lap and Bucky is scrolling through his phone. You shift uncomfortably and Bucky asks, “The babies?”

You quirked your eyebrow at the question.

Bucky didn’t talk about the babies. He went to the ultrasounds and sat quietly in the corner. When you complained about the kicking at night, he quickly changed the subject. When you talked about baby stuff with Steve, he left the room. It was almost as if your belly wasn’t getting bigger everyday.

“Yeah,” you shifted uncomfortably. “They’re really going at it tonight. And my back aches.”

Bucky smiled quietly at you, you were almost looking back down at your book when he asked, “Can I feel?”

You looked up in surprise. Especially after this morning, this was the last question you expected to hear.

“Yeah, of course,” you put your book down. “Will you give me your hand?”

Bucky gently reached out towards you, you took his hand, watching his face carefully before placing it where the babies were most active.

He jumped in surprise, “You weren’t joking. Wow.” But his hand stayed firmly on your belly as the babies continued to kick wildly.

You observed his face, his eyes were so full of wonder. Like they were when you told him you were pregnant. He even had a small smile on his face as he traced your belly, looking to feel more of the babies.

“Bucky, about this morning, I’m really sorry...”

His eyes snapped to yours, suddenly aware that your faces were only inches apart.

He quirked his head to the side, “No, no. I have something I wanted to say to you actually. I didn’t even go to bed, I just waited until you went to bed to come sit out here in case I missed you.”

His hand continued to stroke you belly as he went on, “I realized something today, after you touched my shoulder. I was surprised, but also, it didn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. I feel like I haven’t been fair to you, and I definitely overreached today, but mostly I wanted you to know, I really liked it when you touched me.”

Oh. Your eyes widened slightly at the admission.

“And,” he went on, “I got thinking about how this must feel for you and Steve. Like a long distance relationship where the other person is right in front of you. I don’t remember everything, but I know I loved you guys. I want to try. Everything, all of it. You and him and the babies. I want it.”

A tear made its way down your cheek, you weren’t even aware you were crying. “I want to kiss you so bad,” you admit. “Actually, I want to do a lot more than kiss you.”

He boyish smirk took over his face and he leaned forward to brush his lips against yours. You kept your hands at your side, even as he deeper the kiss, leaning you back slightly in your seat. This was his kiss, it would go how he wanted it to go. He broke the kiss to stand in front of you.

“Get up,” his voice had dropped an octave as he looked down at you with hooded eyes. You did as you were told, not sure where this was going.

He took your hand, you thought he was leading you to his room before he suddenly pushed you against the wall. Your gasp was interrupted by his mouth pressing hard down on yours. You pressed your hands hard into the wall as he kept kissing you. As his tongue entered your mouth, exploring ravenously.

The kiss broke suddenly for him to drag his lips down your skin to your neck. You let out a loud moan as his tongue traces up your neck towards your ear. “Oh my god,” you gasp, it had been a while and heat was pooling between your legs. You wanted him now and you wanted him fast.

“Touch me,” he growled in your ear.

You didn’t need to be told twice as you dragged a hand up his spine. He shivered. You wrapped your hands in his hair and he let out an audible moan.

His lips were back on your neck, sucking a mark. Your hips bucked under him and he tried to get closer to roll his hips against yours.

He couldn’t get close enough with your belly. And you needed more.

Suddenly your shirt was gone, leaving your top half completely exposed. His hands roamed your swollen breasts.

You gasped at the feeling, raking a hand down his back.

He tweaked a nipple, “Is this what you like, baby?”

You could only nod as his mouth took one of your nipples.

He tweaked the other one and your knees started to feel like jelly. “I didn’t hear you baby, do you like it when I play with your nipples?” He tweaked them both for emphasis.

“Y-yes,” you managed.

He pressed open mouth kisses up your neck back to your ear. His tongue flicked the inside of your ear and you almost came undone.

“Do you know what else I realized, baby?” His hands still cupped your breasts. You attempted to grind against his to get some friction but he was being patient. Agonizingly patient.

“What?” You finally gasped.

He licked that spot again, and said with his lips brushing your ear, “I really like it when you call me soldier. Especially when you’re bossing me around.”

He bit on your ear lobe and you couldn’t help but moan.

“Alright, soldier,” you pushed him away to tug at his shirt. “Stop teasing and get to work.”

His eyes gleamed.

He pulled back to take his shirt off and you pulled off your sleeping shorts, now fully naked in front of him. He looked down at you, a devilish smile on his face.

He started with your shoulder, pressing open mouth kisses down to your left breast. He took it in his mouth, expertly sucking. You pressed your hands against the wall to steady yourself.

He continued down your body, kissing down your belly. His hands rested on your hips as he fully lowered himself to the ground. You expected more teasing. Some tendernous.

Not for him to lift a leg over his shoulder. Definitely not for him to latch on to your clit, doing that little trick that he did. You almost screamed.

Heat was building fast. His hands cupped your ass. You needed more. You might have said it outloud.

A finger entered you and you jolted, grinding against his face. It curled inside of you and you swore. “Bucky, I—”

He didn’t stop. He added a second finger and attacked you with his mouth with even more ferocity. He was starving and this was his first meal.

And he was going to devour you.

You wrapped one hand through his hair, gasping for air. You were close. He just had to keep going with his fingers hitting that spot. Yes, just like that.

Bucky broke away, his eyes dark as he looked up at you. “Let’s go wake Steve up.”

You were so fucking close. Oh my god. But he didn’t give you an option, gripping your hand and dragging you down the hall.

He opened the bedroom, leading you in. Steve was still out cold, but Bucky picked you up with ease and tossed you down beside him. He started taking his pants off and you started slapping Steve’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Steve opened an eye. He saw you naked and seemed to perk up a bit. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Bucky’s deep voice surprised him. “You wanna play?”

Steve was up in an instant, “I’ll get the lube.”

You smirked up at Bucky, who was stroking himself as he stared you down.

“Get on the bed, soldier,” you demanded.

He didn’t need to be asked twice, he crawled on top of you. He dragged a his lip up between your breasts until he was kissing you fevourously again. You expertly wrapped your legs around him and flipped him over so you were on top.

You took hold of him, stroking him hard, how you knew he liked it. His head rolled back as he moaned. You guided him to your entrance and sank down on him fully. He gasped, reaching for your hips.

You groaned, grinding down on him, “If you think this feels good, just wait till Steve joins in, soldier.” As you said it, Steve’s hands roamed up your body, coming to cup your breasts.

He breathed in your ear, “You ready for me, baby?”

You nodded, leaning forward to grasp Bucky’s shoulder as Steve lined himself up with your entrance. Suddenly they were both thrusting into you. Bucky could barely breathe, grasping the sheets from the insane pleasure.

You, were already close. You could barely move, except to enjoy the feeling of both of them inside of you. Finally.

You were ready to explode. Your hands grasped Bucky’s shoulders as he thrust into you at an erratic pace.

Steve leaned forward to cup your breasts and whispered, “Cum baby.”

You screamed as you felt your walls release. You saw black for a moment and as your started to come down, Bucky came inside of you. He leaned back, panting heavily but Steve wasn’t done. He kept pounding into you. You came again before he finished.

You finally felt Steve pulled out and you rolled beside Bucky. “Oh my god.”

Bucky gaped, “I was missing out on that.”

Steve plopped down beside you and burst out laughing. You started laughing too. And soon enough so was Bucky. It was contagious. You couldn’t help out. Soon you were gasping for air but every time you nearly stopped, it started again.

The laughter died down after a while. You started to yawn and Bucky timidly asked if he could stay the night. You told him of course, got up to pee, and laid down between them.

Finally, your family was starting to feel complete. Bucky wasn’t back to being himself, but things were staring to look up.

You dozed off but just as quickly Bucky was shaking you awake. You blinked thought your exhaustion. Steve was no where in sight.

“What?” You rasped.

Bucky wouldn’t meet your eye as he said, “We have to go. Steve’s getting the car.”

“What?”

“Everything is going to be okay, y/n,” his voice broke. He started to lead you out of bed. You gasped, your belly contracting painfully. “You’re bleeding. We’re gonna go get you check out.”

You could barely breathe. Not as he gently dressed you. Not with each time your belly contracted painfully again. Not as you looked back and your pristinely white sheets to see them smeared with bright red blood.

Tags (open) @booktease21 @sexyvixen7 @just-the-hiddles @fading-mentality-bouquet @a--1--1--3 @broco8 @yougottalovefandoms @hailqueenconquer @tazzi-baby @imaginebeinlovedbyme @amiets2 @prettyblueskylark

#bucky barnes #steve x pregnant!reader #bucky x steve x reader #steve x reader #stucky x pregnant!reader #stucky x reader #bucky x pregnant!reader #bucky x reader

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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i get stupider every year of college. it’s like benjamin button’s university student

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way, Part 11

I have way too much experience with this kind of trauma. One thing I know, the experience isn’t always linear. How you feel jumps from one moment to the next. Maybe this is my way of coping, but for some reason I need to get this all down. Lots of swearing —K

There’s something totally surreal about trauma.

There’s nothing like the feeling of getting a late night call to get to the hospital and fast. It is pure stomach dropping terror.

Realists would know what it means, rushing to the hospital to see their loved ones, potentially for the last time.

Driving to the compound, gnawing on your thumb, you start to wonder how many traumas there are. How many people a year get a call to hurry to the hospital to see their loved ones. Maybe for the last time.

Out of the those cases, how many people are too late? How many show up and their loved ones still die?

Fuck, how bad was it. You ran your hand through your hair as you sat at a stop light, tears streaming down your face.

How much of a liar was Tony? Would he lie and tell you that they were alive if they weren’t, just so you wouldn’t kill yourself driving over?

You wouldn’t have to rush if this light would fucking turn green.

There was no one around, it was nearly midnight...why wait?

You tapped your fingers on the wheel, maybe you weren’t on the sensor and the light would never turn green and Bucky and Steve would die waiting for you...what’s the harm?

Your foot shifted to the gas, cautiously accelerating.

A horn blares and you slam on the gas, barely avoiding an oncoming car.

You think you might have screamed, either way, you wer suddenly pulling your off the road and scrambling out.

You reached for your keys, your hand missing twice.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you finally got hold of your keys and practically fell out of your car. From your knees, you reached for the door handle and pulled yourself up.

Your head swam as you leaned against the car and made your way to the passenger side. As soon as you were off the road, you tossed your keys into the field of grass in front of you.

And immediately regretted it.

“Oh, shit,” you leaned against the hood and stared out at the dark field.

You remembered a rule of dealing with trauma. Take a breath and get control of yourself.

Fact, you shouldn’t have been driving. You cradled your belly, where your children were kicking furiously. You weren’t thinking straight. You were thinking about your boys, not the babies inside of you.

And there was no way you were finding your keys tonight.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and dialed Natasha, she answered on the first ring, “Where are you?! Is everything okay, you should be here by now!”

You closed your eyes, trying to take deep, calming breaths, “Can you please come get me? I’m fifteen minutes out from the compound, sitting on the side of the road. I just about crashed my car.”

Twenty minutes later, Natasha’s car pulled up behind yours and both Natasha and Clint hoped out. At this point, you were spiraling, your breath coming in short pants.

“Fucking Tony!” Natasha slammed her door. “I said, don’t let her drive. You can’t let her drive after telling her something like that!”

“Yelling at Tony isn’t going to solve anything!” Clint snapped at her. He came to stand in front of you, both hands grasping your shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine. Now, where are your keys?”

You pursed your lips, looking over his shoulder at the field. “I kinda...tossed them...”

Clint raised an eyebrow, his head jerking to look out at the long glass. “Oh. Okay. We’re all just gonna get in Natasha’s car. Then I’m gonna go get a metal detector and find your keys!”

You nodded, pushing off your car and stumbled, your head swimming.

“Alright, kiddo,” Clint wrapped an arm around your waste. “Let’s get you in the car.”

“What if they’re dead and Tony’s a liar?” You asked, stumbling as Clint guided you towards Natasha.

“Oh, no,” Natasha open the car door. “We talked to the field team. They’re stable, just a bit of a mess.”

You slid into the passenger seat, stroking your belly, trying to soothe yourself. Clint got into the backseat and Natasha got into the drivers seat.

“I keep thinking about all those silly medical shoes I watched in university, where there’s a trauma and they go from fine to dying in a minute and then the family doesn’t get there on time,” you murmur.

You weren’t sure either of them heard you until Natasha quietly answered, “I’ve seen that happen, in the field. It can happen, but right now, all signs point to them being stable and we will getting to the compound at the same time as they are.”

The light pollution started getting worse the closer you got the compound. For some reason, all you wanted to was run away.

“The babies kicked today for the first time,” you said numbly. “They’re gonna be here soon. I n-need to get a crib, and, um, a diaper bad. Other stuff too. I need to book, uh, birthing classes. Maternity clothes...”

Natasha exchanged a quick glance with Clint, “We can worry about all of that later. We’ll make a list!”

You frown and murmur, “I don’t know how to change a diaper.”

Clint squeezed your shoulder, “You’ll learn, it’s okay!”

You laugh dryly, “Buck was learning. Every spare minute. He was so excited to change diapers.”

“Okay, she’s gonna need something to calm her down,” You hear Clint mumbled to Natasha. You ignore him, choosing to curl up towards the window, watching a helicopter fly towards the compound. Your boys were up there.

———

Panic was surging through your veins, but you shook your head as you strode towards the medical wing.

“How bad is it,” you shout at Tony, trying your best to keep a level head.

He looked up at you from his phone, his hair a mess. “I don’t know,” he called back. “I just know they’re stable and we have two ORs prepped just in case.”

Your eyes focused on the door behind Tony, the boys would come through those door at any second. You came to stop beside him, fiddling with the dainty necklace you always wore.

“I fucking told you she shouldn’t drive,” Natasha hissed at Tony behind you.

You were vaguely aware of Tony throwing his hands in the air. “I just said—”

You turned at spat, “Not fucking helping.”

They exchanged a look, both turning to sit in the waiting chairs and you started to pace.

“I’m gonna kill them,” You say calmly, stroking your belly, your eyes constantly checking the elevator.

Natasha leaned over and whispered to Tony, “She’s gonna need a sedative.”

The elevator dinged and a gurney rolled out. You almost puked.

“What. The. Fuck!” You glared at Tony, who was already scrambling to his feet.

“No one said it was this bad!” He said.

You swallowed, hard, looking down at Steve. He was sedated, his face was bruised and battered, and he had a massive branch through his abdomen.

“It didn’t hit anything serious,” the nurse behind the gurney said. “We’re gonna go straight to the OR and get this taken care of right now.”

You couldn’t helps yourself as you looked down at his face, leaning forward and giving him a quick peck on his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, Steve.”

“Ma’am,” she said.

“You’re gonna be okay,” you said to him.

“Ma’am,” she insisted. “We have to go now.”

You stepped back, making a point of raising your hands in the air defensively.

You watched them until they turned down the next hallway.

Natasha came up and put her hand on your shoulder, “Are you okay? Do you need to cry?”

You looked up at the ceiling, counting the lights as you let out a long breath, “Not yet.” Not until you saw Bucky. Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, he was not going to see you cry.

The elevator dinged again and chaos erupted.

It happened so fast, Natasha grabbed you and pulled you away from the door. Tony was yelling. So was Bucky.

He was thrashing wildly, despite the restraints.

“Head trauma,” the nurse wheeling the gurney already had a bruise forming on his cheek.

“Buck!” You shouted. He roared in anger and you flattened yourself against the wall.

And he was gone, down the hall.

Natasha looked down at you as you slowly started sliding down the wall.

They weren’t okay. No matter what Tony had said, that wasn’t okay. Steve had a fucking tree through his stomach and Bucky, poor Bucky was stuck in his own head. His most feared prison. This wasn’t going to be like taking the home tomorrow and putting a bandaid over a scratch, this was far, far worse.

“What do you need?” She asked, kneeling in front of you.

“A change of clothes,” you said numbly.

She rubbed your thigh, “Okay, I’ll call Clint to stop by your place, okay?”

You nodded, “Can you ask him to grab my black bag on the stool by the breakfast bar? It has, it has my meds.”

“Of course.”

“And t-there’s this god awful, ugly b-brown blanket on the bed. It’s Bucky’s.” Your voice started to waiver, tears welling in your eyes. “It totally ruins the aesthetic of the room.”

She grasped your hand and you wiped your tears. “I’m sure it does.”

“And, there’s one blue pillow on the bed. The pillow case is blue. Steve sleeps with it every night.”

And the flood gates opened and you started to cry.

———

“The surgery went better than expected,” the surgeon told you.

You wiped a stray tear from your face. “It-it did?” You hiccuped.

“Absolutely it did,” she gave you a warm smile. “And with his DNA, he’s gonna be just fine and walking around in no time.”

You nodded, “Thank you.” Your voice broke and she gave your shoulder a squeeze. “I’m not normally a m-mess. I’m just pregnant.”

She laughed, “It’s okay, I can tell. He’s gonna need some support, but remember to take care of yourself, okay?”

You nodded, “Can I see him?”

“Of course, this way,” she directed you to walk down the hallway.

Your heart almost stopped when you saw him. He looked massive in that bed. He didn’t really fit, it didn’t look right to see Captain America in a hospital bed. Monitors beeped steadily at his side, the only real proof to you he was alive.

You hugged his lumpy pillow to you left chest. It still smelled like him.

You stared at the monitor, counting the insistent beeping, making sure he was still breathing...

“Is that for him,” a nurse said, rubbing hand sanitizer on her hands as she came in. You were still standing in the door way, starring, twenty minutes later.

“Um, yeah,” you answered, shaking your head to get out of whatever spell the monitor had put you under. “Can you...”

She smiled at you warmly, “Of course, hon.” She gently took the pillow from you, breaking the spell.

You stumbled forward, sitting down in the chair beside his bed.

“You can hold his hand,” she said, readjusting his pillows.

“We haven’t been in a good place,” you admitted, “for months. He wanted me to get an abortion and then he didn’t and I just, I pushed him away. I don’t know if he’d want me here but I-I can’t not be here.”

The nurse paused, coming to sit down in the chair opposite to you. “He’s going to want you to be here when you wake up. No matter what happened, he’s going to want you by his side.”

You looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers. “I don’t know what to say to him. Because I’m still mad, honestly. I want to kick his ass.”

She laughed and so did you, wiping a tear from your face.

The nurse cleared her throat, “It isn’t my place, but you don’t have to forgive him. But you’re going to end up throwing everything away if you’re not here when he wakes up.”

You nodded your thanks, reaching over and taking Steve’s hand.

———

“Y/n?” Steve voice woke you from your sleep on the cot beside his bed, you scrambled for the light before reaching for his hand.

His deep blue eyes looked up at you with so much pain and confusion.

“What do you need?” You asked, cupping his face. “Are you in pain?”

He shook his head, trying hard to swallow. You reached for a cup of water, knowing his throat probably felt like sandpaper after intubation.

“Where’s Bucky?” He asked.

You looked up at his monitors to avoid his eye, “They won’t let me see him. The meds aren’t working, he’s in a fury. They said that they’re giving him medication to calm him down, sedating him, and they’re going to try to wake him up soon.”

Steve’s grip on your hand tightened. “You should be with him.”

You leaned down and kissed his forehead, “This fight between us is no where close to over but you are still a big part of my life and I love you. I need to be here for both my boys and he will need me soon.”

There were tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry, for everything. Bucky and I had a fight about it and, I’m not ready for everyone to know about the three of us.”

You nodded, understanding his fear.

“But,” he continued, “I don’t want to be the uncle. I want to be the dad. So, I’m here and I want to be here, for both of you.”

A tear dripped down your face, you leaned forward and brought your lips to his.

“Mrs y/l/n,” a man cleared his throat at the door. You turned to see some poor intern wringing his hands at the sight of Captain America.

“Yes?” You asked.

He broke his stare with Steve and said, “I’ve been asked to inform you they’re waking up Mr Barnes and you said you wanted to be there.”

You exchanged a look with Steve. He squeezed your hand and you walked to your bag in the corner, pulling out Bucky’s blanket.

Steve asked quietly, “Will you see if Bucky can be transferred into the same room soon? That way she doesn’t need to go in between our rooms.”

You raised an eyebrow in surprise, but the intern nodded and scurried off.

You gave Steve’s hand one more squeeze, “I’ll be back soon.”

You walked down the hall until you found the room where they were administering some medication to wake Bucky up. Your mouth went dry, he was still restrained.

“Can we get some of these restraints off,” you asked coolly, striding into the room and sitting beside the bed, the blanket in your lap. “He’s not an animal.”

“Mr Barnes is prone to violence following sedation,” the doctor tells you. You grit your teeth at that but let it go. “This could take some time, someone will be just outside if he acts out.”

You didn’t bother to point out that they had him chained down and he couldn’t right now.

Instead, you played with a frayed edge of the blanket. Steve adoringly called it Bucky’s baby blanket. It obviously wasn’t, but it was the blanket he’d slept with since living in Bucharest, it was with him in Wakanda, and he slept with it every night since.

At this point, it was more patch ups than blanket though. When the boys had moved in, the only thing Bucky brought was this ugly blanket full of holes. Trying, in vain, to make it look better to preserve the feel of your room, you learned to patch it up. It was now an assortment of browns and fabrics, but it didn’t seem to change the spirit of the blanket.

“Hey,” Bucky said. You looked up to find him looking at you, a frown on his face. “Did I hurt anyone?” He asked.

“No,” you lie. “You were just a little, um, enraged. You had some head trauma.”

He nodded, “Can I get out of these things?” He moved the restraints for emphasis.

You nodded, calling out to the nurse outside the room. He came in, and after assessing Bucky, removed the restraints.

“How’s Steve?” Bucky asked.

“He’s okay,” you answer. “He had tree go through his stomach but he’ll be fine.”

Bucky nodded, not bothering to sit up. But he ran his hand through his hair. He turned his head to look at you, his eyes focusing on the blanket.

“Is that my blanket?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

You nodded, “I thought you might want something to give you some comfort. Do you want it?”

His eyes crinkled from a small smile. “Yes, thank you.”

You stood, unfolding the blanket and spreading it over him. You looked up at him to see if he was satisfied, but Bucky was staring at your belly.

“Buck?” You asked.

“You’ve gotten...bigger,” he murmured.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking a hand down your belly. “Yeah, and they’ve been kicking up a storm, would you believe it?”

He frowned, “I didn’t realize you were sleeping with anyone.”

Your blood ran cold.

Tags

@booktease21 @sexyvixen7 @just-the-hiddles @fading-mentality-bouquet @a--1--1--3 @broco8 @yougottalovefandoms @hailqueenconquer @tazzi-baby @imaginebeinlovedbyme @amiets2 @prettyblueskylark

#steve x pregnant!reader #bucky x steve x reader #steve x reader #bucky x pregnant!reader #buck x reader #stucky x pregnant!reader #stucky x reader #stucky

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Me: I can’t believe I’m single again on Valentine’s Day

Also me every time I get a notification on tinder:

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Everyone at the end of each WandaVision episode

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dailydaydreamings · 4 years ago

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Best in the Worst Way, Chapter 10

Okay, I might have taken out some inner rage on this one. It mentions some pretty heavy stuff, like trauma and violence. There’s a big argument about sexuality. This one flips back and forth between the night the reader sleeps with the boys (chapter 5) and their mission. I’m seriously gonna try to lighten things up, pinky swear. Please enjoy ;) —K

1 Year Ago

“What the hell happened last night,” you demanded, pacing back and forth in Steve’s room.

After waking up beside a very naked Steve and Bucky after last nights party, you sprung from bed, starling both boys awake. Bucky was now sitting on the lounge next to Steve bed, his head in his hands. Steve laid against his headboard looking perplexed.

“I’m pretty sure you asked us to have sex with you,” Bucky said, running his hand down his face. He looked like he had the world worst hangover. “I remember thinking, yeah that’s a great idea. But I don’t remember when it turned into a threesome.”

You frowned, “I thought you couldn’t get drunk.”

Steve shook his head, “We were drinking that stuff that Thor brings. I think we drank a lot of it.”

Bucky suddenly lurched forward, looking very green, “This is my first hangover since the 40s’, I might hurl. Don’t bring that stuff up again.”

You closed your eyes, they were useless. “Just to confirm, we had sex? I don’t remember anything after the gala.”

Steve nodded, “Yeah we definitely did...”

You groaned, “For shit’s sake, I’ve wanted to have sex with the two of you for a year and I can’t even remember it! Was it good?”

Bucky turned his head to look at you sideways, “First of all, how are you not hungover? You were pounding them back faster than us without enhancements. Second, YOU wanted to have sex with BOTH of US?”

You purged your lips, poor choice of words, but you would stand behind it. “I have excellent genes, first of all. To your second question, I really didn’t apcare which of you I had sex with last night, as long as it was one of you. I really wasn’t expecting sex with TWO of you!” And honestly, it was relieving to know you had had sex with both of them and you still didn’t have to choose.

Bucky nodded, almost like he respected what you were saying. Like he too had had a couple of nights waking up in a predicament like this. But now that you thought about it, for all of the male Avengers, there were only four you had never had to get their one nightstands to sign non-disclosure: Tony, Bruce, Scott, and Bucky. You’d even had to escort out one of Steve’s flings three months ago. You remembered a particular feeling of joy watching her sign the document, knowing she would never be returning.

But not Bucky, everyone else was having sex or had a reason not to be. There was no way he was a virgin, was there?

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Bucky interrupted your musing, directing his comment at Steve. “Nothing to say?”

Steve was looking both confused and pissed. Totally conflicted as to which emotion should take precedent. You watched his hands twisting in the sheets uncomfortably, “Its just that I’d never...you know...”

You and and Bucky exchanged a quick glance. “No,” you said. “We don’t?”

Steve rolled his eyes, and then whispered, “Never had sex with...” and then he coughed pointedly.

Frowning you asked, “More than one person at a time?”

Steve started to say something when Bucky stood, crossed his arms, and said, “No, he means he’s never had sex with a guy before.”

Steve’s sheepish look downward said enough.

Attempting to resolve some of the tension, you waved a hand, “It’s so not big deal, Steve. I’ve had sex with women. Sometimes it just happens, you know?”

Steve’s eyes snapped up to you, his jaw locking, “I’m not that guy. I’m not gay.”

“You weren’t exactly straight last night either,” Bucky snapped. You looked between the two of them, what happened last night. There was history here too, something you were missing.

You held up your hands defensively, “I never called you gay, Steve. I mean, there was still a woman involved last night, I’m assuming.” You looked at Bucky for clarity, he nodded. “I’m just saying, it’s okay. You don’t need to feel ashamed.”

Steve glared at the two of you, “Yeah, well, it’s never happening again.”

———

Bucky hated to admit it, but going on a mission with Steve was easy.

After the plane ride north, very far north, full of glares and silence, it was like slipping into a glove. No matter how angry they were with each other, they still worked well together. They had to when danger was involved. They were professional, afterall.

Even spare time in the safe house, at first it was cold and awkward, but the very first night, Bucky had a nightmare. He woke screaming to find Steve upstanding over him, shaking him gently. Before Bucky could say anything, Steve climbed into bed beside him, and wrapped an arm around Bucky, like how Bucky needed after a bad nightmare.

And so, things went back to how they used to be, slowly. Bucky made breakfast in the morning and Steve said, “Did you really love Bridgerton or was it just me?”

Bucky smirked, crisping up the bacon, and said, “We watched the whole season in one weekend.”

The thing about this mission, it was boring. There wasn’t a lot of action, just waiting in case it happened on the basis of a really good tip, apparently. Bucky was seriously beginning to think it was a load of crap.

So, during the days they did recon, and when they could, they hung out and caught up at the safe house. At first, it was like old times, pre-relationship. Your name didn’t come up once, they didn’t talk about the babies. Bucky terrified to bring it up and burst whatever bubble they had created.

Then, Bucky was making dinner one night, and Steve walked up behind him and kissed the back of his neck...one thing led to another and they found themselves wrapped in sheets, lazing a couple of hours later. Bucky had an arm over his head, watching the still ceiling fan and he muttered, “What the hell, Steve?”

Steve propped himself up on his elbow to observe Bucky, “What do you mean?”

Bucky glared at him, “You know what I mean. Y/n tells us she’s pregnant. You go awol. You ask her to leave me and get an abortion. You see the babies, you want back into our lives. You spend weeks wooing her and ignoring me. And now what?”

Steve sighed, “I just, I can’t see her being part of my life any more, Buck. She doesn’t want me. And I don’t want to lose you, you’re my best friend and I love you. And I want these babies, and I don’t know, I guess the last couple of days, playing house...I just got thinking, we could raise these kids, together.”

Bucky sat up in bed, quickly at that. Was Steve really asking what Bucky was thinking, for him to leave you and raise the twins without you?

“First of all, that’s never going to fucking happen,” Bucky snapped, reaching for his shirt on the floor. “I’d never leave her and you’d never play the part of the gay guy, I know you. You can’t be who you are.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “And you’d be okay playing the throuple game? You really think people would be okay with that? Captain America and the Winter Soldier in, what did y/n call it? The super secret super soldier threesome?”

Bucky shook his head, reaching for his pants now. “Captain America,” he mused. “How far you’ve come, huh? Rather by the gay guy than a throuple? Do you know how shitty that would make y/n feel? Or how that makes me feel? You only wanted her back so you two could be the good American couple and you could have the babies in peace. Am I right?”

Bucky stood and saw Steve lowering his eyes. “Un-fucking-believable.”

Steve’s eyes snapped up to meet Bucky’s. “The two of you were always preaching to me it was my journey with how I wanted to come out as bi. Or if I wanted to come out. Maybe I don’t want to. It’s not up to you to shame me for my choices.”

Bucky just shook his head, “I’m just disappointed you don’t love us enough to try.”

———

1 Year Ago

The compound had a Starbucks, it was honestly a godsend. You got coffee there most of the time and it was the best place to get someone talking. Which is why, when you got a text from Bucky asking you to talk, you suggested it.

“What did you want to talk about?” You broached, sipping at your chai tea latte.

Bucky looked down at his plain, black coffee. “You’re the only one who knows what happened with Steve...and I just figured you might be the person to talk about...sex with?” He looked up at that, an eyebrow quirked slightly.

Steve had been avoiding the two of you in the week since the gala. It was just awesome, you loved the silent treatment.

To Bucky, you answered, “I’m more than comfortable talking about sex.” And you were probably a little too comfortable, if you were being honest with yourself, but Bucky didn’t need your detailed kill list.

Bucky nodded, “I figured, no offence.” You shrugged it off. “It’s just, I wanted to have sex with you ever since I met you. Honestly, I wanted more than sex, but this is where we are. Sex is not an easy thing for me...ever since, you know..everything.”

You reached across the table and gently took his hand. He cleared his throat, pointedly looking around. “The thing is, I’ve been in love with Steve since we were kids.”

Oh, you thought. That wasn’t what you were expecting him to say at all. You were totally expecting some speak about being a virgin.

“Oh,” was all you managed to say aloud too, apparently. You kicked yourself internally for your awkwardness. “Okay...Bucky, I’m so sorry then.” You suddenly started to remember Steve’s reaction. He was pissed about having sex with another guy when he’d woken up beside them.

Bucky ducked his head, “I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction from him. I hoped, that maybe, finally, he would...”

You placed a hand on your breaking heart, “He would feel the same,” you finished and Bucky nodded.

You looked down at your own drink, trying to think of the best thing to say. “I don’t know anything about being in love with another girl. I’m attracted to both but I’ve always loved men. I do know what it’s like to love someone so much it hurts, and to desperately want them to see you. I once kissed a guy I loved so much in front of everyone we knew, thinking it was some big romantic gesture, only to find out he had a girlfriend and I was the last to know.”

Bucky cracked a smile at that.

“Love sucks,” you concluded.

Bucky leaned back, running a hand through his hair. “I hate feeling like I’m losing my best friend.”

You nodded, “He’ll come around. Either to accept you as first friend again, or to see things from your point of view.”

Bucky fiddled with his fingers slightly as he said, “Steve’s always been the more proper one. He follows the rules. I think he can accept me, but I can’t see him ever loving me like I love him.”

You reached across the table, one more time to wrap both your hands around his, “How do you know if you don’t talk to him?”

———

“Fuck you, Bucky!” Steve shouted, following Bucky out of the bedroom. “I’m offering you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Bucky stormed into the kitchen, he wasn’t quite sure where he was going, but it couldn’t involve Steve. He started searching for his cost as he snapped, “What I want has changed. I want her and you, this isn’t an either or situation.”

Steve slammed a hand into the counter, “You just want her because she’s having your baby. Admit it, if I’d offered you this before she got pregnant you would have jumped ship in a heartbeat.”

Bucky paused, sending a death glare at Steve. “What the fuck. I love her, Steve,” he said it almost calmly now. “Baby or not, I love her. She is the best part of my day, my biggest supporter, and takes my breath away every time I see her. I wouldn’t have jumped ship because the terms of our relationship involved three of us, not just you and me. She wasn’t my way to get to you, she as an independent part of this relationship.”

Steve’s face crumpled, as he leaned forward to press his face against the counter. “I don’t know how to do this, Buck. I thought I had everything when I went back to Peggy. I thought this life was over. I didn’t expect everything to just get harder.”

Bucky placed his hands in his hips. “Why do you make it so much harder than it has to be? My god, Steve, you were the skinny kid dying to go to war. You fought Hydra almost singlehandedly. You stood up to Tony Stark for me. And you’re afraid to let the world know you’re in a relationship with a man and a woman.” Steve flinched at those words. “Steve, babe, do you know how much joy you are keeping from yourself by being so afraid?”

Steve looked up, there were tears shinning in his eyes.

But Bucky wasn’t done, “You’re right Steve, this is your journey. If you don’t want to come out, that’s fine. You can be the cool uncle who hangs out all the time, or you can have shared custody and we’ll tell everyone I started sleeping with her later. But we could have a truly amazing life together, if you were just willing to give this thing a try.”

Steve clapped his hand together, a pained look on his face as he said, “Do you know what keeps me up at night, Buck? Any and every single story on the news about people getting beat to death for being gay or trans or different. It keeps me awake, I can see their faces. I can see their pain. Big old Captain America doesn’t have nightmares about Thanos or Ultron, but that. We as a species are so terrible to each other that we kill people because they choose to love.”

Bucky had tears running down his face. Steve’s jaw was clenched so tight he thought it might shatter. Bucky finally said quietly, “I didn’t know that, Steve.”

Steve reached up and aggressively wiped a tear away. “I just want to hide away and be happy together. I know we’re safe at the compound, I know we can defend ourselves. But what if some guy just decided to shoot you or y/n because you’re in some “abnormal” relationship?

Bucky reached for him then, “Babe, we can’t stop any of that from happening. But we can trust that we are well equipped to handle ourselves and take care of y/n and the babies. We can be okay. We can have a happy life, I promise.”

Steve let loose a long sigh and reached for Bucky. Their embrace was short lived, but for a second it was everything they needed. It said more than a thousand words could. It healed.

And then the explosion rocked the house.

———

After what could only be described as the world’s longest day of work, you hobbled towards your bedroom. You were so ready to get out of this stupid work dress and put on some sweats.

In your closet, you stripped down to nothing, and caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. At 18 weeks, with twin super soldiers babies, you looked huge. You remembered when your friends had started getting pregnant, they hadn’t been nearly as big, and you were only going to get bigger.

You flattened your hand against your stomach, bringing it to cradle your bump. “Hello, little ones,” you mused, “you’ll be here soon enough. I guess that means mommy needs to stop waiting for daddy to make up your nursery, huh?”

You looked yourself in the mirror, suddenly feeling rediculous. It wasn’t like you were really expecting an answer, were you? You were getting way too used to silence.

As you were pulling on your seats though, you felt a slight flutter. You paused. You’d felt some movement, but this was definitely a kick.

Shaking in disbelief, you hobbled towards your bed, sitting down on the white bedspread, spreading your hands on either side of your belly.

“Okay, guys, I know you can hear me. Give mommy another kick, please.”

Nothing.

You gave your stomach a poke, “Come on, guys. Just one little kick for your mommy.”

Then you felt a nice, sharp kick by your ribs. Letting go a sharp breath, you smiled, “Nice one. Oh my god, your daddy is going to be so upset he missed this.”

You laughed. Because your babies were kicking, and they were kicking hard. And suddenly your bedroom seemed so much bigger and lonelier. And it wasn’t just Bucky who was missing this, it was also Steve. Who had just as much a right to feel these babies kick.

You wrapped an arm around your middle, solemnly, “When your daddies get home,” you emphasized the plural, “you’re gonna kick up a storm for them, okay? No matter how mad mommy is.”

So you started your nightly routine, you made dinner and watched a show and read your book. You were washing your face when your phone rang. Tony’s name flashed across the top.

You answered it on speaker, “Hey, what’s up?” You reached for your serum and started rubbing it in.

“You’re gonna need to come into the compound, right now.” Tony said from the other end.

You raised an eyebrow. No fucking way. You were going to bed, you were dressed for bed. You had a rough day already, anything else could wait till morning.

“Tony, you have given me scrap about taking it easy and sleeping and nothing working rediculous hours. It is ten o’clock on a Wednesday. I am going to bed.”

“Y/n,” Tony’s voice softened and you paused. “I need you to come in right now.”

You picked up your phone, pressing the FaceTime button. Suddenly you were face to face with a sheepish looking Tony Stark. You took a second to observe his face before saying, “Which one of them is dead?”

Tony let out a long breath and your heart constricted.

No, no, no. This could not be happening. Not on such a good night.

Tony finally said, “They’re not dead. Either of them.”

Suddenly you were on the floor, on a sob bubbling in your throat. Oh, thank god. Nothing else matter, they weren’t dead.

“Y/n, they’re in bad shape though,” Tony’s voice now sounded very, very far away. You tried to focus in on what’s he was saying, but all you could think was, they’re not fucking dead. “Y/n, they’re hurt and being transferred here and they’re asking for you.”

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