#The amazing experience of reliving and learning about my life through journal review

[remembertheplunge]

My name is Lew Wentz.

I am a 69 year old gay criminal defense lawyer. I have been keeping journals for 47 years as of September 14, 2024.. I am writing a book based on the journals.

I came out as a gay man in 1984. I was married to a woman then. I left the marriage after telling her I was gay.

My younger sister, Zoe, who I was very close to, died rather suddenly of pancreatic cancer in May of 2023. She gave me permission to blog the last two weeks of her life. Those blogs run from May 1 to May 14, 2023.

I journaled my journey through the turbulent 1980's and 1990's. During that time, I was pretty vocal about being gay. I volunteered to help people with aids through their illness and death. And, I believe because of this, I was fired from my job as a deputy Public Defender in Modesto California. I also documented the 12 year relationship I had with my partner, Jim, who died in 2009.

I wrote pretty much daily about these events and many others. I never intended for the entries to be made public. But, I now think they should be, as they weave what I believe to be our common story of what it's been like to be out, human and gay in the past four decades.

And, as I journaled, I developed ideas and ways to journal and wrote about them in the journals. I discuss the impact journaling has had on me. And, the amazing revelation reviewing journal entries for the blog and book of just how incredible our lives have been. Memory fades. The journal details do not.

My hope is that , after reading the blogs, and maybe some day the book, you too will become addicted to journaling. Your life on paper will amaze you down the line.

My blog became one and one half years old on August 5, 2024.

[gabbyagustinwork]

Journal Entry 02: Year-End Media Favorites

December 31, 2023

I have a deep passion for immersing myself in various forms of media—from movies to books to music. It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m currently watching When Harry Met Sally (1989), one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies and the perfect NYE film (iykyk). Consuming media is an important aspect of my everyday routine; it’s one of the best ways to entertain myself and explore my personal interests. Without media, I think I’d be bored and live my life in a passive manner. This year, I've had the pleasure of discovering several amazing pieces of media. I'm excited to share some of my new favorites, some of which were released recently while others in previous years.

ALBUMS ✷ Fictional Illustrations album by Fly By Midnight ✷ Special album by Lizzo ✷ To Love You album by GLADES ✷ Balloons EP by Conor Matthews ✷ Zack: For All and 3rd Time’s A Charm albums by Zack Tabudlo

According to my Spotify Wrapped 2023, I listened to 86K minutes (my yearly average!). I listen to music pretty much all day, apart from sleeping, so I had the opportunity to explore various artists especially in the pop and R&B genres. One standout was Conor Matthews and his EP, which had me hitting the repeat button all year. There’s just something about melancholic love songs that gets you in the feels lol. It was no surprise he got the #1 spot on my most-listened-to artist. He recently announced that he’ll be releasing his new album in 2024 and I absolutely cannot wait to hear it. I also attended Lizzo’s concert in Amsterdam earlier this year, so I had to relive the experience through her album. Whenever I need some high-energy and go-get-your-shit-done tunes (which I crave almost everyday), Lizzo's my go-to, and she's consistently been one of my top artists. Similarly, Zack Tabudlo has made it to my top 5 artists for the second consecutive year. I discovered this Filipino artist last year and I haven’t stopped listening to him since. Like I mentioned, I love good dramatic love songs—and they’re even way better in Filipino. Other memorable albums I listened to in 2023 were from indie-pop bands Fly By Midnight and GLADES.

BOOKS ✷ Funny Feelings by Tarah Dewitt ✷ You Make A Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi ✷ Yellowface by R.F. Kuang ✷ Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin ✷ Out on a Limb by Hannah Bonam-Young ✷ Abolition. Feminism. Now. by Angela Davis, Gina Dent, Erica R. Meiners, and Beth Richie

My reading tastes span romance, fantasy, thriller, and nonfiction, and you can see at least one favorite from each of these genres on my list above. With reading diverse books, I get to immerse myself in different worlds and learn about stories and cultures outside of my own. I actually didn't read as many books as I’d like to this year, originally intending to knock off 50 new ones. By February, I realized that this might be quite unrealistic given that I have a long thesis paper to write and research for. I basically underestimated the free time I would have to read for fun, so I ended up changing my goal from 50 to 20 new books. While this is the smallest number of books I've read in a year (usually in the 45-60 range), I’m still happy to report that I achieved this goal. Two standouts were R.F. Kuang’s and Hannah Bonam-Young’s novels. I found myself constantly reflecting on Yellowface, a thought-provoking literary fiction that delves into pressing issues within the publishing industry. The recent controversy regarding a white author's attempt to discredit authors of color by review-bombing their books on Goodreads highlights how racism still persists in the industry (learn more about it here). On the other hand, Out on a Limb became my go-to for revisiting favorite scenes and enjoying those heartwarming moments. Unlike many romance novels, it surprised me by avoiding the typical third-act breakup, offering a refreshing change of pace and leaving me with warm, fuzzy feelings throughout.

MOVIES / TV SHOWS: ✷ Julie & Julia (2009) ✷ How to Be Single (2016) ✷ BEEF (2023) ✷ Sex and the City (1998-2014) ✷ Past Lives (2023) ✷ Love at First Sight (2023) ✷ BlackKkKlansman (2018) ✷ May December (2023) ✷ Ugly Betty (2006-2010)

I find that I consume movies and TV shows less frequently compared to music and books. I actually just created a Letterboxd account this year to finally start tracking the movies I watch. I only saw 35, majority of which were re-watch of all-time favorites (e.g. Devil Wears Prada, 21 Jump Street, 10 Things I Hate About You, etc). However, I'm determined to change this in 2024 and explore more movies I haven't seen yet. TV shows definitely won this year, with the two standouts being Sex and the City and Ugly Betty. It's almost unbelievable that I waited until 2023 to watch them. Yes, I've heard many praises for both shows and always come across screenshots and pop culture references online, but it wasn't until this year that I truly committed the time to watch them. I think what fascinates me the most is that even though they were released years ago, the topics they discussed still remain relevant today. It's indeed a testament to their timeliness. Additionally, as a fashion enthusiast, I appreciated how both shows uniquely incorporated this element not only to the main characters, but also the supporting ones. A lot of iconic looks from these shows are still referenced to this day. I also love romance and career-related themes, making it incredibly entertaining to follow the characters' journey—Betty in her 20’s and Carrie along with her friends in their 30’s (I’m a Miranda girl!).

OTHER MEDIA: ✷ Revelatorium Podcast ✷ Rehash Podcast ✷ BFFR Newsletter ✷ Byline ✷ Ana Wallace Johnson ✷ Rajiv Surendra ✷ The Purple Palace ✷ Kennie J.D. ✷ Ioana Petresco

I also consume podcasts, articles/newsletters, and Youtube videos. I have a mixed bag of favorites on my list above, but I think the one thing they all have in common is their ability to ignite my creativity and deepen my understanding of identity, media, and culture. I love staying inspired, honing my artistic skills, and educating myself in various topics.

Overall, I’m thankful for all these pieces of media that kept me sane and inspired in 2023. I’m a storyteller and student at heart, and I crave consuming stories in all different ways, whether that may be through audio, written, or video format. I’m looking forward to all the new stories I’ll come across in 2024! ⭐️

[sunnydawn444]

New Post has been published on Sunny Dawn Johnston

New Post has been published on http://sunnydawnjohnston.com/blog/the-writing-nook-honoring-the-call-to-write/

The Writing Nook - Honoring the Call to Write

Hey friends… As you may or may not know, I have recently published my first book, as a publisher, not as an author: 365 Days of Angel Prayers. I also recently wrote my 20th book. Not all of the books are mine alone. Several are co-authored with amazing people doing similar work, and some are compilation books. Many are self-published by SDJ Productions and several are published through traditional publishing companies. I have learned a lot about witting … and publishing … and self-publishing. I have really gotten to experience many aspects of this industry… and I really love it. I love it because … it might be hard to believe … I was someone who did NOT like to write … not for anything besides personal journaling anyway. But, the message became more important than my dislike or fear … it became a BIG part of my purpose. Which is why I love this industry. It allows us to help others through our experience, it gives you a voice in a different and powerful way, and opens up a healing that I truly believe serves the masses, not just the self. That’s why I have asked Shanda Trofe to share with my readers little tips and tidbits to support you and your writing.

I truly believe that writing can heal our hearts … Even if you never share your writing, the release of the energy and emotion within your body can be truly life saving. So, for those of you that are interested in sharing your story in a bigger way, this blog, The Writing Nook, is for you. And, for those of you that just want to heal and release your story, this blog is for you too … For those of you that don’t know if writing is for you or not, I’m sure you’ll find something in here to resonate with as well. Enjoy … and please … I’d love to hear what your thoughts are in the comments below. Can you relate? Let us know what you think – Blessings SDJ♥

Honoring the Call to Write

Do you often feel you have an important message to share with the world? Is there a calling inside you to tell your story in an attempt to encourage others? Perhaps you’ve overcome hardships or adversity in your life and you feel, by writing on these personal experiences, you can help others do the same?

As an author coach, this is precisely the type of person I tend to attract into my circle. Notice I didn’t say writer, I said person. The reason for that is because in my experience, those who are called to share their message do not necessarily consider themselves writers. In fact, it’s this very belief that they are not trained writers that holds many back from sharing their message in the first place.

But don’t we all have something to contribute to the world? Chances are, if you’re alive, you’ve had experiences in your life that someone else can relate to and maybe even learn from. By expressing your story in words, you can reach others who are on the same journey as you, and in turn, help them through a similar experience. Sometimes just knowing we are not alone is half the battle.

So, what then holds us back from our inner calling to write our stories?  I’ve found there’s a common theme among aspiring authors, and it usually boils down to one of three things:

Self-doubt. “Who am I to tell this story? It’s all been done before. There’s so much on the market already like this. What makes me so special?”

2. “What will my family think? I can’t possibly share this; I don’t want to upset anyone.”

Self-sabotage. “It’s too painful to revisit the past and re-open old wounds.”

Let’s address these one by one, shall we?

Who Am I to Tell this Story?

It’s true, if you set out to write on just about any topic, chances are it’s already been done. There are thousands of books on every topic imaginable, but does that mean the topic is exhausted and can’t be further explored by you? Of course not! Because what you have that no other person on this planet has are your experiences and your voice. And nobody will write the story quite like you, from your point of view, because nobody else has walked in your shoes.

If you’ve struggled with hardship, overcome adversity, or traveled through a trying time in your life, then you have a story that could help someone else who faces the same circumstances.

  I Don’t Want to Upset Anyone

I hear this one often. This issue can be tricky, and only you can decide just how much you want to share about those closest to you. On one hand, you may feel you owe it to them to be mindful of their privacy. On the other hand, it’s your life, and your experiences. You own those experiences, and nobody can take them from you.

  “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” —Anne Lamott

  While I’m a firm believer in the idea that you don’t owe anyone an explanation or an apology for sharing your truth, there are also ways to protect yourself when giving details from your past. You’ll want to be careful not to label someone or defame their character. For example, you wouldn’t want to claim your brother was an addict, but you might mention he took drugs on occasion.  While sometimes these details are relevant to the story, it’s often a good idea to tread lightly when labeling others, and if you have any doubts, you might consider changing the names and locations to protect the innocent. There are ways around these minor details, so don’t let this stop you from sharing your message in the first place.

  I’m Not Good Enough

In my line of work, I have the pleasure of reviewing manuscripts for a living, and each time I receive one, I never first ask if the person is a trained or experienced writer. That’s not what I’m looking for. There are editors and writing coaches who can help you polish your work prior to publication, so grammar and punctuation are not that important in a first draft. I’m looking for the underlying message.

What I find is that those who have an inner calling to share their truths with the world, don’t need to be trained writers in order to connect with their reader and tell a compelling story.  It’s when they can delve deep within to pull out those experiences and tell them with sheer abandon that their best writing emerges. In order to do this, you often have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel the emotion as you’re writing. And that may mean reliving those painful moments so they can resurface.

  My Story Is Too Painful to Write

If this is your reason for not writing your story, then perhaps this is the exact reason why you might want to consider it! Let me explain…

I saw a meme on social media recently that said:

  Whether or not this is true for you, only you can decide. But if it is, then wouldn’t you benefit from allowing your emotions to come to the surface and be processed? Well, writing is a great tool to do just that!

  The Only Way Out Is Through

Think about it, how often are we told to journal about our emotions and see what comes up? The same is true when writing a book, a speech, a blog post or a magazine article. If we are going to openly tell our most authentic truth, we are going to have to walk through those emotions once again. The number of aspiring authors who never finish their books because of this is astounding. “It was just too painful to write; I just can’t go back to that place.”  I hear it all the time.

So, you put your writing aside—convinced that it’s just too painful—and go on with your life, but where do you think those emotions went?

  “You can cover up your emotions and you may even grow flowers on top, but underneath it all, the flowers are still growing on shit. And shit is shit.”

-Sunny Dawn Johnston

  Let me ask you this: if you are shutting down those emotions in an attempt to avoid dealing with them, don’t you think that at some point they will reappear? We can’t run from our past! And when we take the time to work on ourselves and process those emotions, that’s when healing occurs, and that’s precisely why I always say writing is a therapeutic practice. So whether you keep a journal solely for yourself, or you set out to pen your memoir, there’s something beneficial to sharing through the written word. It will not only help others, but will help you as well, and that alone may be all the reason you need to incorporate writing into your life.

  Writing as A Tool to Process Emotions

So how can you introduce a writing ritual into your life? There are many ways. Sometimes we need to take baby steps on our way to reaching our goals, and that’s perfectly fine.

Start a journal. You might begin by journaling each day. This is often a safe way to get into the habit of writing freely about your experiences, because it’s for your eyes only. There’s no fear of judgment while sharing in a journal, so this is often where I recommend you begin.

Create a blog. Once you become a little braver, a blog is a great place to test the waters. You are starting to put yourself out there, but it’s your blog, so there is no right or wrong, and you can decide how much and how often you want to disclose.

Contribute a chapter in a compilation book. Many novice writers start out by contributing chapters to compilation books. This is a great next step because you are in the company of other authors writing on the same or a similar topic, and your commitment of one chapter is often easier to tackle than an entire book. This is also a nice way to become familiar with the publishing process.

Once you feel you’re ready, then you’ll begin writing your book. If this is your goal, the best advice I can give you is to write the first draft for yourself. Write openly about all that comes up, as if you were expressing these thoughts in your journal. Don’t worry about the fears we tackled earlier, and check your ego at the door with the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign! You can always decide later what will stay and what to edit out. But I promise, when you can silence the ego and write from the heart, that’s when your best writing will emerge and you’ll find your voice. And you may just find some healing in the process as well.

  Shanda Trofe is a best-selling author, publisher, and author coach. As the founder of Spiritual Writers Network and Transcendent Publishing, she’s made it her life’s work to assist aspiring authors through the book-writing process and on to publication. Shanda helps writers find their voice and extract the unique messages from within. She resides in St. Petersburg, FL with her husband and two fur babies. www.shandatrofe.com.

PS: Shanda and I are facilitating a Writers Retreat workshop in the Florida Keys in November 2017. Check it out here