#The Van Cooths

[crazy-sydnee]

Oh and to piggyback off my last post the way some of y’all are acting towards Grace is mad trifling! Like who raised y’all to be so rude to someone you don’t know!!!

Doin the absolute most over a grown ass man who doesn’t know you and a character that is FICTIONAL!!!

[slovenlyrecordings]

Here's one of the most exciting mail order updates we've had in a while...

Marthy Coumans from Grey Records in Breda, The Netherlands and his two daughters have a band together called The Van Cooths. CHARMING, RIGHT? They just put out an album that you were supposed to only be able to get from them personally, or at his store, but we got him to send a small stack to our PA office. The album was pressed on orange marbled vinyl and is limited to only 200 hand numbered copies. There's a bit of twee on it, but most is supersonic psych pop guitar stompers. REAL GOOD. Grab HERE!

And there's more impossibly cool and limited archival shit just in from Canada's SUPREME ECHO label, including the Ronnie & Natalie with Stumpwater 7" that we keep hearing on WFMU. Amazing.

TWITCH "Dark Years" LP

ZELLOTS "S/T" (Flexi-disc)

RONNIE & NATALIE w/ STUMPWATER " 6 Times / Turn Me On Woman" 7" (split)

SPHEX "Time / Leaving This Crazy City" 7"

[aboutict]

Bakker.com wordt fullfilmentpartner voor kwekers, retailers en e-commerce partijen

Bakker.com, de online tuinspecialist die in februari failliet werd verklaard, maakt een doorstart. Daarbij is een belangrijke rol weggelegd voor werknemers en leveranciers. De doorstart komt er dankzij Martijn van Scherpenzeel van Globitas. Die noemt als kracht van het bedrijf dat Bakker.com rechtstreeks van kwekers aan de consument levert. De hele waardeketen wordt overgeslagen. ‘Dat maakt het mogelijk een kwalitatief goed product tegen een faire prijs bij de klant thuis af te leveren.’ Onder regie van CEO Erwin van Cooth moet Bakker.com een platform worden waar andere e-commerce partijen en retailers groenproducten kunnen leveren aan hun klanten. ‘Deze partijen kunnen gebruikmaken van het platform en van onze expertise en tegelijk meeliften op een snelgroeiende online markt voor groenproducten,’ zegt Van Cooth. Ook worden leveranciers nauwer betrokken worden in het proce. Data, efficiency en outsourcing krijgen een belangrijke rol. Bakker.com, dat als Bakker Hillegom kort na de Tweede Wereldoorlog werd opgericht, is groot geworden met de distributie van tuinproducten als bloembollen, bloemzaden en planten. Als postorderbedrijf leverde Bakker.com deze producten in 17 landen, daarmee was het het grootste postorderbedrijf in het groensegment van Europa. Vorig jaar kwam het bedrijf in financiële problemen, en op 5 februari werd het bedrijf failliet verklaard. Er was een schuld van 21 miljoen euro. Zeker 190 partijen hebben vorderingen ingediend. Bij Bakker.com werkten vorig jaar nog 200 mensen, waarvan 130 in Nederland. Tenminste vijftig medewerkers maken de overstap naar het nieuwe bedrijf. Van Scherpzeel verwacht op termijn het aantal arbeidsplaatsen weer te kunnen uitbreiden. Verwacht wordt dat het bedrijf in de tweede helft van mei weer operationeel is. http://dlvr.it/QP16h5

[slyni-sparklyeyeshadow-blog]

*Sparkly Eyeshadow*

So, my day started a few hours later than everyone providing a service to the world. Right now, I am in grad school and it has taken its toll on me. Always tired, always stressed, and always (sometimes) studying. My anxiety has been off the charts since starting grad school. It's so not my personality.. so serious. At least during my one-year in the real working world without having mom and dad rescue me at rent-time, I was always around people talking, laughing, and throwing coworker frenemies under the bus when the boss got mad. Now, I am around classmates a few hours a dayor 30 ten-year-olds 40 hours a week. It's really hard to find a happy medium. Emphasis on the happy.

This morning, I hit snooze for an hour per usual and end up waking up at 8:30 instead of 7:30 to finish my paper that I was supposed to start last night. But my gosh, have you seen the Instagram Explore page? Sign me up for a perfect bod, unlimited cash flow, and a travel agent with a keen eye for exotic places.

 My point exactly. Already off track. I wake up and do my ten minutes of quiet time before anything else. *Alright, Ashlee.* I think. *You can do this.*

I get started and am amazed at how I rip through my first paragraph and how bomb my thesis is. Then I zip through the second paragraph and only ten minutes has passed by. I've realized I'm starving and my head is hurting because I have no coffee at the apartment. *Nope, not moving until you get this paper turned in.* So I'm typing and text my boyfriend good morning. Then I check to see if I have any Facebook and Insta notifications. And OH MY WORD I look terrible this morning! Need to wipe the coconut oil off before I Snap anyone. I wonder what filters there are today...

*Focus, Focus, Focus*

Back to the paper. It's fairly easy. At around 10:15 I get stuck because I am so hungry and am so mad at myself because I only have two paragraphs left. I talk myself into going to the Shell Station right around the Corner where I am pretty sure they think I live in the dumpsters with the cats. I look TERRIBLE when I go in there. Usually no make-up, hair pulled back, and my white vans that have more brown on them. I go. Today, I choose Java Monster because the Dunkin' Donuts Coffee I am obsessed with is 90 more calories than my 200 calorie Java Monster and Regina George and I really wanna lose 3 lbs. Like it really matters once I get a Peanut Butter Crunch Cliff bar... which is gone before I return to my apartment within walking distance.

So then I think to myself... it's almost 11. You have an appointment at 1. Why don't you just hop in the shower and fix up today? You look terrible. It'll do yourself some good. Maybe your head will even quit hurting. So I hop in and am already feeling like a productive person that will one day contribute to society. I get out and start my eye make up. *Remember this is the doctor, Ashlee. No silver metallic. Just white sparkles.*

 I line them and paint them and cannot find my eyeliner sharpener. Pretty sure I threw it away after sharpening a pencil and convincing myself that I would get lead poisoning if I sharpened my eyeliner in there, too. So the eye liner could be better today. *Just remember thin lining on top.* 30 minutes has passed by and I realize I need to get with it and this is the doctor's office on a Wednesday at 1:00 pm. Not New Year's Eve in Time Square. So I try to do my foundation "natural" and this means mixing a Mac foundation with Estee Lauder's DoubleWear Foundation. That's easy. Ain't no brown spots seen through that stuff. I blow dry my unruly hair made better with It's a 10 Keratin treatment and BOOM! Lightening strikes my car. Swear. My car alarm is going off. For some odd reason I hide in my closet a second and realize it is lightening. Not a tornado. Either way,  I think my reasoning was because I was far away from windows. Then the weekly panic phone call to mom goes through.

*Mother*

Yes, Ashlee.

*I think lightening struck my car.*

What?

*Like lightening just struck over the apartment and now my car alarm is going off. I think it hit my car.*

Oh, well it could have been the sound from the thunder was so loud, Ashlee. That happens. I don't think lightening would hit your car it's grounded with rubber tires.

*I'll check after the storm. If I touch my car will it shock me?*

No, Ashlee. It won't.

*K, bye. Love you.*

Love you.

 I show up to the doctor's office in white linen pants even though we may have multiple tornadoes today and got there 30 minutes early because my doctor has moved offices and I know finding this office will be like the blind leading the blind. If I know me, I'll find the nicest, youngest looking millennial receptionist that shares my over-reliance of Google Maps and even though she works there every day, she will STILL lead me to a Parking Deck across the clinic and not my doctor's office. 34 minutes later, it is now 1:04, I find my doctor's new office. Another patient and I apparently didn't get a memo or preferred automated message to let us know the office was closed that day. Really? There is an unfinished paper icon sitting on my desktop. That's another phone call crying to mom today. Bless his heart, it would have called my boyfriend but he has heard me cry over the phone every day this week and I am trying to let him think I am having the best, most productive sunshine filled day as possible.

How unprofessional of my doctor! This girl with no current profession makes sure to leave her med school graduated physician a message deeming her unprofessional. I would have threatened to find a new doctor but she has 4 stars online and I decide to keep her. I'm sure she would be so relieved...

*Well half of your day is gone but you can still turn it around. Go to Barnes and Nobles so you can finish your paper around people and not by yourself in your dark room. I go to Barnes and Nobles... finish my paper and knock out two other assigned readings. YES. Just time to get distracted again.

My sister calls. The people in Barnes and Nobles now know my nephew had staph infection on his foot two weeks ago and that my doctor is a dill hole and I could "literally be dying. OMG." I get a lot of looks. Some sympathizing. Some dirty. And decide to go print out the 383874298 pieces of paper my professor e-mailed us. Who needs trees? Not like they give us oxygen or anything.. I drive to Fed-Ex because I broke my printer while Youtubing a video about how to insert the cartridge. Did I mention it starts hailing on my drive? No where to pull over.. whatever. Just drive through it... SLOWLY of course.

At Fed-Ex, one lady is annoyed I e-mailed them with so many attachments to print. Yes, she should be furious with me. They are providing a service and I am PAYING them for it. Thankfully this guy that always gives me free printouts is there. (Okay, that happened one time). I smile at the lady when he offers to help me to let her know that I'm a good paying customer and have built better relationships with her team than she has. APPARENTLY. She literally could care less even though I feel I have really socked it to her.

- That'll be $4.39, Miss *Insert My Last Name*

-thinking to myself * Wow, so glad he can read my gmail account name*

- ALOUD * How is that only four dollars? I printed like a million pages.*

- Well, I guess it could be less. * HE SMILES *

- thinking to myself * EWW. this is why you don't need to wear sparkly eye shadow. You totally send off the wrong message about your future aspirations. *

- I actually respond "Oh! Thank YOU!" He asks how my day goes and I immediately spill the beans about my car getting struck by both lightening and hail and he ensures me I can stay at FedEx as long as I need to.

- thinking to myself *GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!*

- I actually LAUGH and pretend I didn't hear him. "Thank you so much. Stay safe."

So I return to Barnes and Nobles in the hailstorm and continue to read while occasionally looking at the window. A security car has gone by a few times and the driver keeps making eye contact with me. *Really? Is this eye shadow so shiny he can see it through the window?* He keeps staring and I am actually mortified now even though he is supposed to keep all of us Summit Shoppers safe. Naturally, fearfully, I smile. Not a big one. You know, one of those smiles where they are supposed to understand they have no chance - a smile where you show no teeth and you squint your eyes weird. NOT FREAKING TODAY, BUDDY. YES, I SEE YOU AND THIS IS WEIRD. STOP. This is what I call TACT. COOTHE, as my mother has always called it. She says I need more of it. Boy, would I have made her proud today. Would've made up for one of my two panic phone calls...

A minute later, the security truck, not car, quickly comes to a halt in a nearby parking spot. He runs out.

*Oh my gosh. I hope no one has shoplifted a book. Some of the hard covered books are tempting because I want to read them but don't want to spend 30 dollars. I wonder what's going on? Is there a fire in the Starbucks? No, stupid. You are right here. There's no fire at the Starbucks. (Then I sniff the air) REALLY, there is no fire.*

"EXCUSE ME, MISS."

*OH SH*t* I think. Did I do something? Is he going to say he sees me leave the gas station around the corner with a brown bag in my hand way too much in front of all of these people?!?! I always wait until I get home. I would NEVER drink and drive!*

"I was just going to ask if you would like to KICK IT sometime."

*Relieved* Kick what? Oh HANG!

"Yeah, you know, hang out? Get coffee or something."

* thinks to myself, idiot we are IN a coffee shop. "Oh! Ha, I would but I've had a boyfriend going on 4 years now.* (I would NEVER. I have so much coothe...)

"Oh, dang. Well... I hope y'all break up."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I hope y'all break up! Can I still get your number?"

"No!"

"What about your name so I can look ya up on Facebook?"

* thinks to myself WELL MY pictures ARE CUTE..." "Yeah! It's Ashlee. a-s-h-l-E-E." *I put major emphasis on the last two letters of my name. ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE. Just so he doesn't think there should be a Y there. Then, I give him my last name with major emphasis on the phonics so he gets it right.*

"Can I write on this?" Points to bottom of my homework.

"Oh yeah! There's nothing at the bottom." *He still writes my name wrong. Really? Even after that Alex Trebek phonics lesson? Maybe he won't find me now.*

"Okay and I'll leave you my number."

"I don't want-"

"Different area code."

"K, thanks." *I give the tactful smile with no teeth again to send the vibe that he needs to get gone.*

"I saw you through that window and thought THATS A BAD MAMA JAMA!" Apparently he didn’t catch my vibe. Why I hate coothe.

"HAHA... ohhh that's me!" *seriously, please leave before I cry.*

"Have a good day, Ashlee. Call me when you and your boy break up." I then realized he ripped exercise 4 off of my homework.

Umm, what just happened. He runs out to this Security Truck with Green lights on top still flashing. I see him out the window open his Facebook page. I just smile out the window at the events of my day and I start dying out laughing. People in Barnes and Nobles now think I wear too much sparkle eye shadow and cheat on my boyfriend. Good Lord. I quit laughing when I see the looks I'm getting. I wish I could give them all a tactful smile but am too embarrassed. Still can be petty in my head though. *Maybe yall should try sparkly eyeshadow, HATerS!*

[slovenlyrecordings]

SLOVENLY USA MAIL ORDER UPDATE!

First and foremost, the new LP from THE VAN COOTHS (Netherlands) is limited to 200 copies that were only supposed to be available from the band in person, or at their record store, Grey Records in Breda, NL, but we managed to get a few copies from them just for you. It is unreal psych-garage with some twee pop thrown in for good measure, and the band is comprised of a guy named Marthy and his two young daughters. Cha-cha-charming! DES DEMONAS from Washington DC have their debut LP on In The Red Records, and mama, it is a howling masterpiece of spiritual / political chaos that’s getting endless spins at the Slovenly Pennsylvania HQ, and will hopefully seep into the White House and destroy it. We have the new 7” from Black Gladiator alumni Thee Amazing Andy California, imported from Brazil on the cool as fuck Mandinga label… go search out the video for “Dirty Rat!” A twisted batch of mega-obscure Canadian slabs are in from Supreme Echo Records outta Victoria BC - all are very limited - dig the ridiculous 1974 proto-dark metal swill from TWITCH, and godlike rock freakouts from SPHEX, and RONNIE & NATALIE. The new REVELATORS 7” of outtakes from their first LP on Crypt is in courtesy of our friends at Funtastic Dracula Carnival, and it rips like you knew it would! More essential new blasts in from ISS (crazy punk with hip-hop samples…nuts!), the FNU CLONE “Binary or Die” LP on Total Punk is more fucked up than you’re even capable of having nightmares about, The 2nd LP from New Orleans psych-scumm HEAVY LIDS is in the house, the new LP from Slovenly veterans ACID BABY JESUS is here, all the way from their new label in the UK, and, two super-limited Jap-Punk slabs in from THE FADEAWAYS and BOYS ORDER courtesy of Secret Mission Records, just about ALL the new shit from Neck Chop Records made it over, hell… there’s three pages of new releases to pour over. Go take fuckin look already!

All new arrivals here:

ANDY CALIFORNIA "Dirty Rat" 7" (WHITE vinyl)

BLANK VEINS "From One Head" 12" (White Vinyl, LTD.)

HEAVY LIDS "Final Days" LP

HEAVY LIDS "Final Days" LP (RED vinyl)

VARIOUS ?Habibi Funk? (2xLP)

LIVING EYES "Modern Living" LP

GEE TEE "Death Race" 7"

THE KEEPSIES "Dumb Fun" 7"

WHIP "S/T" 7"

ANDY HUMAN "Freeze" LP

KNOWSO "Look At The Chart" 12"

JACKSON POLITICK "Paste v1" LP

PLASTIC "S/T" LP

BB EYE "Headcheese Heartthrob" LP

ISOTOPE SOAP "The WOW! Signal EP" 7" (LTD)

CHOKE CHAINS "Trace Amounts" 12"

FADEAWAYS "Sick And Tired" 7" (LTD.)

BOYS ORDER "Do The Wild Cat" LP (LTD.)

REVELATORS "Pot Smokin' Pussy / Baby Doll" 7"

VARIOUS ARTISTS "Bingo! French Punk Exploitation 1978-1981" LP

SUICIDE "First Rehearsal Tapes" LP

CHILTON, ALEX "Like Flies On Sherbert" LP

DES DEMONAS "S/T" LP

ANDY HUMAN & THE REPTOIDS "Kill The Comma

Do The Mole" 7"

OBNOX "Murder Radio" LP

THE BUZZARDS "You Got Me Down" 7" (Coke Bottle Clear vinyl)

THE BUZZARDS "You Got Me Down" 7" (Green vinyl)

THE BUZZARDS "You Got Me Down" 7" (Yellow vinyl)

THE BUZZARDS "You Got Me Down" 7" (Red vinyl)

CRAMPS "Hungry" 7" (PEACH colored vinyl)

CRAMPS "Hanky Panky" 7"

VICTIMS "No Thanks To The Human Turd" 7" (RED vinyl, LTD., hand numbered)

THE MISFITS "Live '79-The Perfect Crime" 7" (WHITE vinyl)

THE MISFITS "The 1980 MSP Sessions" LP (MINT GREEN vinyl, LTD.)

TEENAGE HEAD "The King Street Teddy Boys" LP (PINK vinyl)

THE MISFITS "Descent Into Evil" LP (GREEN vinyl, LTD.)