#The Secret Of The Golden Flower
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[Henrik Aarrestad Uldalen]
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From 'The Secret of the Golden Flower':
âThe heavenly heart is like the dwelling place, the light is the master. Therefore, when the light circulates, the energies of the whole body appear before its throne âŚâ
â ⌠you only have to make the light circulate: that is the deepest and most wonderful secret. The light is easy to move, but difficult to fix. If it is made to circulate long enough, then it crystallizes itself; that is the natural spirit-body. This crystallized spirit is formed beyond the nine heavens.â
âThe book Leng Yen says: 'By collecting the thoughts one can fly and will be born in heaven.' Heaven is not the wide blue sky but the place where corporeality is begotten in the house of the Creative. If one keeps this up for a long time there develops quite naturally, in addition to the body, yet another spirit-body.â
âIf you can be absolutely quiet then the heavenly heart will spontaneously manifest itself.â
âIf the thoughts are absolutely tranquil so that the heavenly heart can be seen, the spiritual intelligence reaches the origin unaided.â
(Ian Sanders)
#The Secret of the Golden Flower#feeling#heart#Ian Sanders#the heavenly heart#circulation#body#Body Alive#quotes#Henrik Aarestad Uldalen#heart felt
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âJust look around! This immense universe is functioning so perfectly well that nothing can be added to it. It needs no improvement. Seeing this, one relaxes. If stars can go on dancing and flowers can go on blooming and birds can go on singing, why not you? You also belong to this universe. You are part of it. In fact, you are the most valuable part of it, the greatest flowering is going to happen in youâthe flowering of consciousness, the golden flower of being.â
â Osho, The secret of secrets
(from his talks on the Secret of the Golden Flower)
Artwork: čĺ ´ä¸ĺŁ˝ (Kazuhisa Kusaba)
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I Am A Whirling Thing
My meditative practices mostly come from Taoist, Buddhist, and psychological works. My goal is to sit there with myself, watching in that focused-yet-relaxed state that is hard to describe. Note of course, I do not say I want to reach a checklist of mental states - doing comes first, and I could probably write a lot more on that.
My practice is also simple - sitting cross-legged, back straight, breathing in a slow constant cycle, mind resting on breath. This is advocated in my oft-mentioned The Secret of the Golden Flower and like that lovely manual, itâs simple yet you could also discuss it at endless length. We humans love words, and we love to use them to describe the hard-to-describe.
Youâll notice despite my love of words, Iâm often cagey about discussing these things. However, there is one insight I feel fine holding forth on as it is interesting and wonât put you, my reader, at risk, of trying to force yourself to experience meditative states.
Slow, regular, even breathing is a fascinating thing to watch because itâs a cycle. As Iâve practiced in my return to meditation, Iâve realized that everything is a cycle. Breath meditation isnât that special, really, which is why it's so important.
We live in an environment of cycles. The seasons go in their circles, water evaporates then precipitates, animal populations rise and fall. We depend on these great circles to live - and as we have seen, ignore or alter them at our peril.
Our societies and histories are cycles. There are times of taxes and of building, of growth and contraction. Civilizations come and go - often in depressing predictability in hindsight. Humanityâs âjourney forwardâ even seems to be a spiral of repetition, though our ignorance of our environment suggests weâre heading for a nasty swing.
Human relations are cycles. We are born and grow, roles changing and expanding. Students become mentors to other students. Children become citizens. Someone at the height of their achievements will retire (well, if theyâre smart).
We ourselves are cycles. Our daily waking and sleeping, eating and digestion, birth and death. Even when we end, other cycles begin - decomposition, and some would believe reincarnation.
I can see the cycles of my life and my behaviors when I pause. There are great circles and spirals of growth. There are predictable life patterns you can see in others. Thereâs even simple things like foods I like then leave then like again.
Then thereâs meditation.
I am a cycle of cycles and part of cycles. I am a whirling thing.
- Xenofact
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The Secret of the Golden Flower (Thomas Cleary) Pg. 125 Paragraphs 1-3
" There are times of interaction and noninteraction of real knowledge and conscious knowledge as long as their union has not been stabilized.
A poem entitled "Combining Yin and Yang" in The Book of Balance and Harmony says, "To reach the Tao is basically not above and below, always rise and descend, the ubiquitous flow of vital sense naturally returns of itself. At the peak of awareness, reality becomes accessible to consciousness; in recondite abstraction, nondoing joins with doing. When the clouds recede and the rain disperses, the spiritual embryo is complete; the creative principle comes into play, producing a new birth."
Definitions of process and cycle are matters of method; at this point the means are transcended and there is no conscious fixation on expedient distinctions. According to Buddhist metaphor, this is like "leaving the raft behind on reaching the other shore." "
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Missouri Botanical Gardens đż
#my photography#âá˘. .á˘âđš#i look into those golden rays#& see another world just on the other side#will i get there?#if i run fast enough#aesthetic#nature#light academia#soft girl#flowers#flower garden#botanical garden#secret garden#gardens#rose#rose garden#st louis missouri#missouri#chihuly#chihuly glass#naturecore#landscape#academia
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a life(,) you know(?) (2022) photography, series of 20
A series dedicated to intimacy. Found in community gardens, golden light, and human beings.
individual titles: golden ribbon tree decorated with new leaves || kaleidoscope home || a sweeter checklist garden shed side || autumn flowers and compost lending hands a pair of gardening glasses || a pair of gardening scissors neighbours || Fruit Tree Project's Sharing Farm garden || the Carriere garden Cindy and Linda's garden || for October || little wallflower let's go through the garden || secret passageway || to pull up a chair history of the garden bathtub || we will never stop looking at sunsets
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My favourite photography series!! lending hands is still my absolute favourite. a pair of gardening glasses+a pair of gardening scissors I'm also p fond of C:
This was made for my second year photography class, I believe it was our first digital photography assignment, around the theme of "intimate life".
A lot of people tend to get confused about the title lol which is totally fair enough. It essentially can be read in 4 different ways with slightly different meanings, though they're all kinda about wishing for something better:
a life, you know? (as if saying to someone)
a life, you know (same as above but different inflection)
a life you know? (as if unsure about the familiarity of the life)
a life you know (a life that is familiar to you)
The whole time while taking the photos I was listening to the Rolodex album by the French Cassettes. Set the mood so perfectly I had such a beautiful time taking photos... Though it was getting a little trickier as the sun was setting haha. I went out to get that golden hour lighting, so there wasn't much time before it was getting too dark.
that last photo's title is inspired by one of my art history foundation year profs talking about photography and how there's so many photos of sunsets and we don't need anymore lol; it was in relation to some art piece that had a bunch of photos of sunsets I don't recall its title... Yeah but when I heard that I was like. bitch I've seen so many sunsets and I stop to look every single time. It's a little hard to see in the photo I think, but I took the photo when I spotted a parent and their kid tucked away together watching the sunset. So lovely and sweet...
+Here's me printing them with the school's printers lol. So slow... creepin
#photography#uni#process#2022#a life() you know(?)#a life you know#golden ribbon#tree decorated with new leaves#kaleidoscope home#a sweeter checklist#garden shed side#autumn flowers and compost#lending hands#a pair of gardening glasses#a pair of gardening scissors#neighbours#Fruit Tree Project's Sharing Farm garden#the Carriere garden#Cindy and Linda's garden#for october#little wallflower#let's go through the garden#secret passageway#to pull up a chair#history of the garden bathtub#we will never stop looking at sunsets
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Sometimes you don't realize what you had until you have lost it
#my telling#my everything#happy girl#young and in love#ONLY 16#the king of pop#read between the lines#tears#my name was flower#the man behind the mask#the best time of my life#shabby chic#pretty#vintage#golden#fairytale#beautiful pink#circle secret
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question for fellow stardew players....
#sdv#stardew valley#personally i skip the flower dance in y1#and then only do the luau until i have max friendship points with everyone#but i usually do spirit's eve (vibes plus free golden pumpkin)#and always do Not Christmas bc i feel bad about leaving someone hanging w the secret santa thing asdfg#(also one of these days i WILL get that teaset.....)#and then the others usually ignore after y1#well. in vanilla saves will do Not Easter every other year for strawberry seeds asdfg on my modded pc saves i keep strawberries in#the greenhouse so not an issue
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How Three Became One
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Part 1 || Part 3 Summary: In the aftermath of your failed make-up anniversary dinner, the third person in the relationship reaches out to you Trope: Angst w.c: 1.6k a/n: There is JJ slander in this (doing it for the plot and to hurt you all, like how I hurt myself in writing this.) Iâm mostly writing follow ups now of my one shots and this is part of a part three series, i swear once i get all these follow ups done Iâm going to hibernate for a bit to focus on my crime series. Not proofread. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! đ masterlist
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The somber air inside the coffee shop threatens to stifle your already critical heart. Itsâ clear window clouded from the cold. Dull shades of gray creeping from every corner of the room, draining life as it went, no matter the strain of each lighted lamp on the tables.
Your fingers pulled the sleeves lower, wanting to cover any sliver of skin, trying to fight off the chill, as if it doesnât come from within. Why did you agree to this, you wondered for the nth time, what good would confronting your nemesis, the root of the problemâSpencerâs Achilles heel, bring?
Comfort?Â
Not at all.
The truth?Â
Maybe.
Closure?
Closure from what exactly?
The failed relationship still stuck in limbo, dreadfully waiting for its free fall or flight from the precipice itâs balancing on?
Spencer had given you space, an act you werenât sure to be grateful for. Yes, it spoke about his gentleman sensibilities and respect to not hound you to talk but on the other hand, his presence in reminding you how much he cared was sorely missed. Couldnât he have at least left you one voicemail, voice pleading and coated with sadness, to repeat over and over again? Or a singular flower tucked to your doorstep, wilting slowly each day for your eyes to lay on?
You wanted nothing but you wanted something.
It was a conundrum.
Late into the night, when the phone rang and when your steps hastened against the wooden floor, you almost wished it was him. Eyes unfocused, the name unregistered, you surely wished it was him, instead of Her.Â
Her voice, blended with a slight static, was hesitant and soft as if she had encountered a wounded animal in need of her saving, tore through the paper-thin shield youâve built around your bleeding, bruised heart.Â
You wanted to lash out, to be quiet, and to agree to anything she asked forâanything to end the call immediately, but when she suggested to meet in this quaint hidden coffee shop, describing itâs freshly brewed coffee and tasteful pastries, a sob rose and lodged itself in your throat.
It was your spot.
A secret place in your neighborhood you discovered and happily shared with Spencer.
This once vibrant store, the backdrop of so many rose-tinted memories, turned ordinaryâtainted with the truth that it was no longer just yours and his. It was also Hers.Â
âHi,â JJ softly greeted, occupying the seat in front of you. âThank you for seeing me.â
Clearing your throat, the shred of what little courage you mustered leaving your body. âYeah, uh, hi.â
Her blue eyes documented the lemon ginger tea in front of you, cooled and untouched. âI havenât seen you in a while, how are you?â
âFine, been doing good,â the darkness under your dull eyes painted a different picture, something that registered as her feminine shoulders drooped.
Lips pressed tightly together, she shifted in her leather worn bench, allowing the silence to further the divide between you bothâthe two female protagonists featured in Spencer Reidâs story.
âYou donât have to lieââ
âRight. AÂ profiler, as if I could ever forget.â
ââSpence also isnât doing wellââ
You flinched, the sound of his name uttered out loud feeling like a thousand pounds dropping on your chest.
ââand just know that Iâm here for the both of you, to clear up any misunderstandings. Let me help, ask me anything.â
âYeah, yeah. Thatâs why weâre here after all.â
Your eyes examined how her golden hair fell perfectly around her, creating a halo of perfection you have never felt once before. You were always the kid who worked hard to seem put togetherâa stack of paper stick achievements built to hide how ordinary you turned out to be. A woman made of dismantled almosts.Â
âCan you tell meââ clearing your throat ââabout you and him. Anything, as team members, friends, your first dateâjust anything I need to know. Heâd always quickly summarize the context of you as his best friend, defender, confidant. Never letting anything beyond that.â
She nodded with a slight smile on her lips. âHeâs always been a little brother. I, like everyone else in the team, wanted to protect and guide him. Joining the BAU at such a young age and enduring hardships that come with itâthe kidnapping, the Dilaudid, his parentâs involvement in a cold case, losing Maeve, and prisonâis too much for anybody to bear all on their own. Weâve always been close, being exposed to the darkness that comes with our job will do that for you but Iâve never seen him like that with you. He was so light and happy, almost as if the younger version of Spence came back to lifeââ she laughed before the brightness wiped away from her face. ââand now, like this with you, he looks afraid, like he might lose it all, lose you. Iâve seen him sad when we werenât able to save Maeve but this time, this sadness that comes from the thought of you leaving, seems too deep to come out from. Iâm afraid that he wonât make it and for that, I feel responsible.âÂ
The deep red nail polish on your fingers were leaving chipped specks all over the white table, like blood on a pure white snow. The cage around your devotion and love threatens to topple down, releasing you from indecision. It seemed unfair to persecute a man of Spencerâs caliber for his past and for your fear of never being enough.Â
A shadow of a smile peeked from behind your curtain of self-preservation. Maybe all could be salvaged with a deep talk between one another and a schedule to a therapistâsolo and couple. You loved him strongly enough to tackle those doubts and reverently wish to see the relationship through, forever if time allowed it to.
But the small voice in the back of your head echoed above the chimes of change and courage, itâs deep tone trying to pull you back to stagnancy and reality. What did she mean by that? Why would she feel that way?
âResponsible?â you whispered, heart beating loudly against your chest. Itsâ sound parroting on your ear. âWhy would you feel responsible?âÂ
âDuring the last case, being held at gun pointââ the bewilderment in your eyes causing her to gasp. ââhe never told you, did he?âÂ
The anticipation, anger, and dread enveloped you, as if you were about to combust at the drop off a hat. If you looked down to any piece of you, youâd think you were doused with gasoline and a small flicker of fire started at the tips of your shoes. âTell me what? JJ, tell me what?â
She took a deep breath, trying to delay the inevitable truth. âDuring that time, the unsub wanted us to admit, confess a secret no one knew and wanted nobody to know and Iââ
You raised your hands, trembling from realization, to unsuccessfully block the truth from spilling into the world. You didnât want to hear itâneeded to never hear it. âStop. Please, stop.âÂ
Droplets of sadness mixed with the specs of chipped nail polish on the table, your tears creating tracks on your ashen cheeks. This was enough to break youâthe shaky mirage of your strong self was nowhere to be found as sobs freely escaped from the depths of your ribs.Â
You came here, filled with indecision which turned into hope before rapidly decaying to death.
The final nail in the coffin.
âYouâre married, JJ. You have kids, how couldââ you pressed your fingers tightly to your lips, nails digging into the soft flesh. ââI guess I always knew, huh. I may not be a profiler but my woman intuition has never steered me wrong. Not even once.â
She hung her head, the locks of halo you once considered pure and perfect shrouded around her like a thick veil of shame.
âSo what now? What about Will and I? Does he even know?â
Her watery blue eyes, pleading with yours. âNo, nothing changes. I love Will and my kids and itâs just a secret I want to take to my grave.â
A vicious hollow laugh bled out of you. âAre you even inlove with him? Your husband?âÂ
The lack of response was very telling. Her love for her chosen partner was shallow compared to the other. You briefly wondered if there was no kids in the picture, would she have even stayed?Â
The thought was dashed repeatedly in your head. It wasnât your problem to speculate. Mind made up, you refuse to be part of this convoluted love story any longer.
âThatâs cruel of you. I wouldnât even wish that on my worst enemy,â you slowly gathered your things and any strength that could take you home. The only place youâd allow yourself to unravel. âI think, I should go.â
âButââ
You mustered a small smile. âThank you for being honest, JJ. I wish you the best with all of this. Tell Spencer, Iâm sorry and please take care of him for me, will you?â
Quickly turning away from the mess that shredded your love life into bits no longer salvageable, the dull shades of gray once crawling from every corner of the store followed your trail.Â
Another dismantled almost to add to your ever growing collection.
The colorful world you and Spencer built with the thought of forever turned to ash.Â
Burnt from the truth.
The remains charred to multitudes of gray that signified the end.Â
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Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#dr spencer reid imagine#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot
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please please please i need you to write something for my man Aegon I love how you write for himđ
âłâĄbefore fire takes it all
Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader
-summary:normally Aegon would ignore Helaena and her strange behavior but,since his wife Y/n got pregnant,he canât help but think about the words his sister said the moment he announced the news.
-warnings:set in season 1,pre blood and cheese and luke death,teen pregnancy(both Aegon and reader are sixteen),talk about child death,Aegon being paranoid and keeping secrets,Helaena predictions,classic asoiaf warnings,reader can be of whatever house you want.
-thank you so much for the request and let me know what you guys think,send you all my loveđŠˇ
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
It hurts.
Love,Aegon thinks.
Love hurts.
His heart bursts,his heart explodes,his heart climbs down his throat and assaults his temples, squeezing and compressing them until his eyes darken,until it scars the tormented irises and pupils.
Loving too much is fatal.Or not?
Isn't that so?
Live well,live badly.Does he lives at all?
âI don't knowâ,his conscience responds.
Aegon would like to know,but he doesnât know.He doesnât even think he knows what the right way to live is anymore,heâs terrified that he doesnât know what it means to live anymore.
How can he live?How?
How can he pretend that everything is alright?That everything,in the future,is going to be alright?
Normally Aegon wouldnât think about these sort of things,he used to live day by day dictated by his own selfish desires.But since he had got married two years ago,something in him changed completely.He started to understand what it meant to love and live for someone else,to wake up every morning early to just watch her sleep so soundly next to him,to stay sober at every hour so that he could remember her kind words,her sweet face and calm voice.Wanting to be a different version,a better one,of himself only because she showed him that he deserved happiness and love like everyone else and in return he only wanted to give her the best he could.
But golden necklaces,earrings,beautiful flowers and the most expensive dresses could not fill the hole that was slowly opening under their feet,a hidden tragedy ready to swallow them whole and to break their hearts and souls forever.
Aegon wasnât one to listen to his family,he longed for his mother love and his father attention,he despised his older half sister,made fun of his younger brothers and mostly ignored his other sister.Only this time,something happened,something made him look in Helaena direction for the first time and his ears had caught every single word that she had whispered to herself.
His wife,Lady Y/n,the most beautiful and kind woman,a innocent young girl with a heart too big for her body,was pregnant.It was true,what they said about expecting women,she was glowing like the most precious diamond and her happiness about becoming a mother,the mother of the lover of her life child,couldnât be contained by her shiny eyes and big smile.
ÂŤThe Maester said that signs suggest is going to be a boy.ÂťAegon had announced one day at the breakfast table.
His mother had smiled kindly and Aemond had nodded giving his shoulder a warm squeeze.It was still too early in the pregnancy to understand whether is was going to be boy or a girl,but still Aegon had hoped that the Maester was right.Having a son was a dream that he never dared to imagine or to say out loud until then,the living proof that he was going to be better than his father ever was for him.
Helaena was sitting next to him,quietly playing with a wooden butterfly,all lost in the secret gardens of her mind when she muttered something: ÂŤA son for a son.Âťwithout even understanding her own words.
As their mother and brother were talking,Aegon turned slightly toward her.Usually he wouldnât pay attention to his sister and her strange behavior,he was disgusted by all of those insects that she so lovingly brought everywhere like some pet on a leash and he was so relieved when his father had betrothed him to Y/n instead that her.He wouldnât even lister or look over her if in the past,her silent words of warning werenât revealed to be the sour truth.Aemond had lost an eye just like she had said.Maybe if back then he had listened to her,he would have helped his brother and nothing would have happened.
ÂŤWhat does it mean?ÂťAegon had whispered to her confused.
Helaena wasnât looking at him,her fingers gracefully tracing the toyÂŤThey only want the boy,not the girl.Âťshe said as if she didnât heard him,nodding to herself.
Aegon left the spoon that he was holding,a sensation of nausea was crawling up his stomach,his heart beating fasterÂŤThe boy?My boy?Who wants him?Âťhe asked.
His sister stayed quiet,every second felt like an agony for him.His mind became of stone and a part of his was laughing for the fact that he was actually really listening to her,to her crazy words and empty head.But still,something,maybe his father instinct that was already part of him,told him that what she was saying was another dark truth.
A boy and a girl,she had said.He was going to have both,twins.He couldnât even imagine it,praying that they would take after their mother soft and gentle spirit but also his fierce nature.Y/n would have been delighted to know that they were about to have twice of the love,but what would she said if she knew that someone wanted their son?
ÂŤThe rats.ÂťHelaena answered then,her eyes bore holes in his as she turned to look at her older brother,shiny lilac flowers watered in fear and condolences.
It had been months since that conversation and Aegon couldnât stop to think about it.Every night,as he watched Y/n sleep next to him while he so gently caressed her belly where two new lives were growing,he could still feel his sister horrified stare on him and her heavy words in his ears.
Y/n is talking to Aegon,while they were lying under the covers of their bed.Her head is on his chest,her hair smelled of flowers and peaches,her voice sleepy and always so tender as his hand was staying on her swollen stomach.She's talking to him about her day and he can't listen to her,he can't even see her behind his pale eyelashes that lower,behind his tired eyelids that are threatening to close tightly.
With the fingers of his free hand he massage them,the nail of his index finger finds a tear that was hidden there,at the corner of the right eye,and uprooting it,let it be dried out by air.
Aegon was exhausted.He had difficulty to sleep when every sound made him jump,every shadow in the corner gave him a heart attack.
He would like to stop thinking,he would like to find a way to turn off his mind,to blow up the candle that kept his brain from sleeping and this crazy thought makes him understand that he had become even more incredibly pathetic than he already was.
Aegon was terrorized.If he already ignored Helaena,now he was avoiding her like the plague in fear that she could say something else,or worse,talk about her thoughts to Y/n.
Y/n,his beautiful and sweet wife,already had so much to think about.Being eight months pregnant was taking a toll on her,even though she never stopped smiling,he could see that she was tired and that her body couldnât bare it anymore.He couldnât let her worry about something that his weird sister said to him,not when the Maester said that she needed peace,calmness and affection.And even if he hadnât said that,how could Aegon tell her what was keeping him awake at night?
He set more and more knights to follow his wife around to make sure that nothing happened to her and his children,the Maester came to check on her at least once a day and when he wasnât with her,his mother would keep her company in the solarium.He had personally hired people to hunt the rats of the Red Keep.Aegon so often dreamed of being just like the armors that Ser Arryk wears,cold, motionless,empty,that he has come to believe that it would be beautiful,it would be fulfilling,to be something without emotions and rest in a corner without light.
Aegon had still to meet his son,both of his children,after he had dreamed of him,of them,for so long.And yet already someone wanted to take his baby away from him.
The flashes of the veins on his forehead tingle and he clash,he crush himself,against an imaginary expanse of water that slaps his brain,crushes his lungs with long ivory tusks,disfigures his face.
Aegon was blocked.
He was stuck in some claustrophobic scribbled box,in a rusty bubble of his faulty soul,and he was afraid see beyond.But he could see the future,the one that Helaena had tried to warn him about.
He could see beyond and,the certainty is disconcerting,he clearly see that the worst nightmare of any human being,what wakes up men in the middle of the night and scares children with simple shadows,is the awareness of being chased:no one can ever escape from themselves,no one has ever escaped from destiny.
Not even him,especially him.
Because Aegon knew already,tasting it on the tip of his tongue,that what will happen is was going to be his fault.Certainly not because of Y/n.
ÂŤAm I boring you?ÂťY/n voice was tired but still sweetÂŤForgive me,my days are monotonous,predictable and highly boring.Âťshe huffed,caressing his hand above her stomach.
Ever since she had started showing,her husband treated her like the finest and most delicate porcelain.All she could do during the day was read in their chambers,walk through the gardens and pray with the Queen.Not exactly a vivacious life,especially since Ser Arryk followed her every move.
She yawns,she apologizes,and Aegon finally slam the lumpy eyelashes and look at her.
Y/n is smiling,innocent,carrying his children and then his body moves by itself,he act instinctively, and get her closer to him.
A hand behind her nape,a strong and fast grip, almost stuttered,and Aegon feel her words on the palate,he eat them between his lips moving on her open mouth.He kiss her badly,and he hurt himself,he will hurt both of them,he kiss her following the dull rhythm of his ears,he kiss her and he pass the noise of his thoughts to her.
Aegon feels a hole in the center of his throat,a knot of cries,and this makes him sway and covers his eyes with torn red lightning here and there,it breaks his mind.Yet he keep kissing her.He have to kiss her.
Kissing Y/n scratches his soul,kissing her stirs up his fears and reminds him,in the pause of one of her breath,the so natural way in which pleasure and pain mix,get tangled,whenever pieces of skin graze and play with the tongues and crests of a fire.Fingertips caressing purple flames,white sheets reduced to blackened shreds,a plate of ice lying on the jigular.
Kissing Y/n now is like taking a sip of salt.Filling her mouth,having her under his palms,feeling the boiling heat of her cheeks against his nose and against his upper lip.
Y/n forces Aegon to give her every good part of himself,even those he thought were lost by now,and she does it with twisting tongues or with an annoying clash of teeth.All it takes is a simple touch and heâs willing to give her the world.She makes him wanting to be a better person and he so scared to fail her,that he wouldnât be able to protect her and the most precious things that they created together.
ÂŤAegon.Âťshe whispered on his lips,eyes fluttered closed.
ÂŤI love you.Âťhe said without thinkingÂŤI love you and our children.And I didn't think I could ever love,not this way.Âťhe confessed,his voice trembling as his mouth was on hers again.
ÂŤI love you too.Are you alright sweetheart?ÂťY/n asked placing a hand on his warm cheek,she could read him like a open book but sometimes even her couldnât understand him completely.
Aegon wished he could tell her all about what was going on in his mind.To share with her his deepest fears,to let her hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will be safe and together for all of their lives.
But when she starts kissing him in a different way,like a helpless girl who would let herself do anything from him,when she starts kissing him with a teenage heat,a heat so in love and so lost, then he would like to do something else.
He would like to yell all the terrible words that Helaena told him,he would like to tug on her and burst her stupid and crazy soap bubbles in front of her eyes and he would like to do it just to remind her who he really was.To remind his sweet Y/n that so willingly loved,accepted and cherished him,that believed that with him nothing could touch her,that he was still a dragon and dragons are known to burn people.
Aegon doesnât answer her,he just lets his forehead on hers with his eyes closed.
ÂŤYou donât have to worry.ÂťY/n murmured against his skinÂŤYou are not like your father and our children already know that,they love you just like I do.Âťshe promised him,their hands interlaced on her belly.
He had voiced his concerns about fatherhood the moment she told him that she was with child,his child.Children now.And she had spent countless nights reassuring him that he was going to be a good father,a better one,unlike his.That he was going to be there for them,but now he knows that he canât escape his own fate.His father shadow will forever be there to remind him that they are just the same:bound to fail their families.
âStop it,please.Stop holding my heart so tight in your hands,that's enough.âAegon thought.
It was in moments like these that Aegon remembered that Y/n was just a girl,a frightened sixteen years old who lives every second with her chest open,her heart too visible to anyone,too exposed.The feelings,the emotions,painted between her bright eyes and lips,make her an easy target,a sacrificial lamb,a too good person who can easily be stabbed in the back.
Her goodness and naivety makes her vulnerable and Aegon knows it,Gods,he knows it.
Because Y/n is not,in the slightest,capable of defending herself,she is not even able to understand the reality of the universe,she does not come to terms with the subtle and treacherous truths.She does not accept the existence of evil in the world,she does not accept the possibility that often what is considered good and right,is not really good,is not really right.
So how could Aegon get her away from the black that drips from his nails,scars,thoughts?Y/n thinks she knows how dark his soul is,she thinks she's got it,but he know she doesnât.
It will never be like this.
ÂŤAegon.Âťshe calls for him again as soon as she realizes that his mind is wandering too far.
Y/n throws his name on his skin and he swallow the panic that warms his esophagus,which runs through his every rib,as he block her head in his hands,almost in a trap.
Aegon push her to lie on the mattress,make her collapse between the pillows almost as if he had beaten her in a duel,and he hovers on top of her relaxed body,carefully holding her stomach.
Y/n doesn't tremble.
Heâs are literally assaulting her and she lets him do it,she agrees,she welcomes him between her legs,in her heart,in her mouth that moves a little away from his and then falls on his eyelids that are still closed.
Aegon wish he could tear his eyes out,blind himself with huge metal spikes.He doesnât let anyone get so close to him,heâd never done it and now more than before he wished didnât do it.Because now they would see it,they already saw it.It was evident,under the lights and everyone eyes that his legacy was about to be born and die all in once.
Even the rats will see it.If someone dared to direct their steps towards Aegon,if someone dared even raise their head towards him,they would see his pupils and find Y/n and their children in there.
At the center of all his thoughts,of all his hopes:the end of an entire life that has bent over itself in the hope of scraping together some more time and living it with them.
So what's wrong?What binds his eyelashes in a white spider web?Could Helaena be right or he was being paranoid again?She was right about the fact that Y/n was carrying twins,the Maester had confirmed it months ago,but could she be right about the rest?
Then he felt it,against his warm palm and his heart skip a beat.A little kick,yet strong and determined to be felt.
ÂŤLooks like someone woke up.ÂťY/n giggled,looking down at her body.
ÂŤI didnât mean to wake them.Iâm sorry.Âťis all that Aegon can whisper and he doesnât even know what heâs really apologizing for.
Y/n listens to him and suddenly recognizes something in the tone of his voice.She relaxes her limbs under him even more,completely wipes away any trace of tension as if someone had just cut the thin threads that moved her body,and she sulks as she touches his lilac eyes that he still deny her,stubbornly.
ÂŤWhy are you so sad?What happened?Âťshe said,concern covering all her beautiful face.
Itâs not what happened,but what could happen.
Aegon forced a smile on his lipsÂŤA bad dream.That's all.Âťhe lies,shaking his head.
Thats what he prayed every night,that it was all a nightmare and that he would wake up soon.
Y/n rubs her fingertips on his eyelashes and he feel her lips lying against his cheekbone.Sheâs smiling.
ÂŤDon't worry.I just found the last sleep crumbs that were hiding from you and threw them away. They were the ones who held back the bad dream and now they are gone.Âťshe explained to him,peppering sweet kisses on his face.
Aegon eyelids rise on their own and he clash with the flickering image of his wife looking at him and bringing to his face her index finger on which one of his eyelashes is placed,almost a crescent moon caught in the air and hovering towards the earth.
ÂŤDo you want to make a wish?My mother always told me to do it,but I have to admit that almost none of my wishes ever came true in this way. Maybe I was asking for impossible things,out of my reach.Same thing with the shooting stars.Do you want to try anyway?ÂťY/n was rumbling,now he remembered why she was friends with his sister.
Aegon leverage his elbows,without getting too far away from her and look at her strangelyÂŤWhat?Âťhe asked confused.
His cheeks mottled red and it seems to him that the way she bites her lips is yet another punch against his anesthetized emotions.
ÂŤForgive me,it's such a stupid thing.Please forget it.Âťand while she is saying it she moves her nail in the act of throwing away his wish that has taken on the common form of a pale eyelash.
Y/n gesture makes the eyelash roll down and it swirls over itself and chases the earth,chases its tail,forms several open circles into which he stick his dream,his nightmare,his hidden thought.
The eyelash is lost on the red carpet and Aegon don't see it anymore.
He look for Y/n gaze again as she pushes him back into kissing her.She asks him,clumsily,to let go of those silly words of hers.The words of a girl that was still too young and forced by her father to grow up too fast,a girl hat was still a child herself with all of her fantasies and fairytales.A child that will raise children soon.
Because Y/n was better than Aegon,she is,even if she doesn't know it,and she showed it to him so many times that he has now lost count of the occasions when he felt at fault.Occasions when he realized he don't deserve her.
Aegon prefer to ignore this reality of the facts,he prefer to put his lips on her collarbone and bite slowly,resume and rummaging through her fertile body,one hand in her hair and the other under her nightgown,and grab as much as much as she offers him.
And Y/n offers Aegon everything,always.
ÂŤNo wish was ever fulfilled?No one?Âťthe question comes out of his teeth before he can control it,it pours out as his mouth moves over her belly that he suddenly feel quiver.
She is laughing.All three of them are,he realizes as he start tracing with his fingers his children imaginary features on the skin of her stomach.
ÂŤMaybe two of them.ÂťY/n says,referring to the lives she created inside of herÂŤBut I found out that my wishes only come true when I look at myself in a puddle.Âťshe laughs again with her mouth open and then moves her head into a pillow.
His fingertips tingle on contact with her skin and his stomach closes into a knot the moment he notice how the intimacy that his movements has turned into familiarity.Because that is what they were going to be soon,a family.
ÂŤWhen did you looked at yourself into a puddle?ÂťAegon suddenly asked,giggling a bit when another kick met his hand.
Y/n hand found its way into his messy silver locksÂŤThe day that my father had accompanied me here for our betrothal.Âťshe tells him,a warm feeling in her chest at the memory.
ÂŤIt was raining.Âťhe said,he remembered perfectly the first time he saw her.
He remembered her father fussing all over her wet hair,trying to adjust her dress and to make her look presentable.But she was still the most beautiful and vulnerable creature that Aegon had aver seen.A little wet bird in a golden cage.
She noddedÂŤBefore entering the Keep i took a deep breath and,as I stared at my reflection into a puddle at my feet,I secretly wished that the husband i was going to have would love him as much as I love looking at the star.Âťshe smiled lovingly down at him.
It came true.Aegon felt his heart exploding in his chest,he loved his wife more than anything in the world.It was so easy for him to love her,how could he not?The thought that she had to wish for something like that,for something that for him was like breathing made his eyes flutter with little tears.
Aegon moved an arm and he already knew that he will hold her hand,remaining palm to palm,as he already know that her fingers will chase his,that they will squeeze,gasps.Wrists banging against wrists,veins in contact.
The time of a whole life that slips away.
ÂŤI have never made a wish.Âťhe confessed then.
He just took,he just wanted.
Oh Aegon,what a stupid mistake.
He stole the dreams of his future child,he had plundered entire experiences of the past,and yet he could have simply asked.With courtesy,with kindness.With a little humility.
What a stupid mistake.
ÂŤYou must have had a really bad dream.ÂťY/n whispers in her voice broken by his caresses,and then leans and puts her forehead against his as he rise to look at herÂŤBut itâs never too late,you can still have your wish.Âťshe reassured him.
No he couldnât and maybe they should stop talking,stop wasting time.They both should just exchange their saliva and shut up.Pant,moan obscenely and stop everything else.Eliminate among them the layers of soul,the remnants of some childish hopes,and join like empty bags.
It would be better this way,Aegon recognize this too,just below the surface,just below the peel of his chest,at least admit with himself that it would be better that way.He should stop discovering her hips with words,with confessions,with Helaena confusing words,with half-truths:it's too risky.
He should just close himself and unite with her only the bodies,discover the consistency of the painless choices and stay there stationary,inside an empty and deep gap in which the arms and legs move frantically without ever finding anything to hold on to.
This was his life once,before her.
Aegon had endless possibilities of oblivion,between the broken lines of the light palms,he had everything a young,spoiled prince could ask for.
The simplicity of superficial human relationships flowed through the buttonholes of his fingers and he continued to be unhappy,stubbornly perpetuated his pursuit of unhappiness,but he didn't know it,and therefore he really wasn't.
Or maybe yes?Maybe a part of him knew that?Is that why his chest is burning now?Because now he was finally happy for the first time and he didnât wanted it to end?
Because now Aegon has Y/n and he managed to create something pure and innocent and beautiful with her,giving them all of the good qualities he didnât knew he possessed.
Y/n seems to listen to his every secret and fear,to feel his breathing change and become noisier,deeper.She place a hand on his abdomen, slowly,she traces with her fingertips first his palm and then also his wrist,then also the blue vein,and repeat his name,repeat his name,repeat his name again.
Aegon enchant himself in front of the movement of her mouth and listen to the ticking of her heart that stretches until it pulls a painful fist on his gums.
Heâs an adult now,a husband and a father.He should behave as such and leave the butterflies to the kids and remember that him,in his stomach and belly,only have the worms of rotten apples.
This happens to those who never make a wish. Didn't he know that?
ÂŤI would kill for our family,even innocent people if this means keep the three of you safe.ÂťAegon suddenly said,voicing his thoughts out loudÂŤWould you still love me after that?Âťthe question is sour in his mouth.
Y/n opens her eyelids to the sound of his question,frantically slams her eyelashes,those eyelashes,and swallows with difficulty.The cheeks are even redder and the ears are also red,the eyes are shiny.Atoms of soul and innocence:they agglomerated together and formed her,a little girl composed of glass and cobwebs,bubbles and feathers.
The bravest Lady he had ever met.
ÂŤOf course I will love you.My heart is your for eternity.Âťshe replies and doesn't hesitate for a momentÂŤAnd I would do the same for us.Âťshe added with a whisper.
Her love for him is equivalent to a black hole in which he could immerse himself and observe a boundless horizon of stars broken and stuck in an icy ground.
She loves him.
And she knows that Aegon loves her too.But right now he can't even answer her,to tell her that heâs sorry,that heâs scared,that he reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity or that maybe he reciprocate them in an even more desperate way than her,crazier.He wish he could tell her that he wished they had more time,that he wasnât who he is,that he wished that they were born in a different place and had different lives to share forever.
Y/n face is beautiful,her forehead is smooth,no flickering lines to scar her tranquility,and the skin near her eyes is crumpled from the day they got married and started to live a life together.It's the restrained cries,the sleepless nights,the quarrels,the misunderstandings,the voracious kisses left on them like square pieces.
Y/n looks at him,her eyes are still shiny,and with her fingertips and palms she clings to his camisole.
Sh clings to him and Aegon doesnât feel any weight,he doesnât feel any pain,no discomfort.Then at least one thing shines certain and bright in his mind:she has become the very consistency of his body.She has entered his limbs,without him noticing,and she is so close to him,beyond the blood and the breaths,that her hand is now an extension of his,her chest is his,her back is his,her lips are his.
And they would be able to see it,all perfectly together in the faces of their children.
And it is not a mere matter of possession,just an arranged marriage to unite two houses,this is not the truth and it will never be.It is something ancestral,like being destined to meet her,being destined to belong to it,being destined to live there,despite time and space.
Aegon and Y/n were sitting on the opposite ends of a timeline,at two distant points in human life, so far away that they saw each other like blurred halos,and they wanted so much to find the other,they have desired it so much,so much,that they have decided to tilt the axes of existence,to hang on to them,and to reunite with an interweaving of hands.
They had bent their faces,touched their souls by ticking of nails,and nothing was the same again.What a stupid mistake they made,something that their innocent son will pay one day.
Aegon felt like he was on fire,his whole body was trembling and his heart ached in his chestÂŤY/nâŚIâŚI-Âťbut what could he tell her?
He could push her away from him,go ahead and just do it,but on his bones he will still find her shape and her footprints.If he looked for her,looked for her in him,he would find that she was everywhere.
ÂŤY/n,IâmâŚIâm really sorr-Âťhe tried to choke out what he could.
ÂŤDo you know what I wanted when I first looked inside a puddle?ÂťY/n didnât let him finish,instead she kept stroking his face lovingly to help him calm down.
Aegon doesnât move and she puts her index finger against his right temple,light.He knew that,from where she was from,it usually rained during the end of the summer and that she loved playing outside with her siblings and mother.She was the one that taught Y/n to look inside poodles and to dance in the rain,something that she would teach her future children too.
ÂŤI wished I could see myself.I wanted it intensely,I really wanted it with all my strength,as I never wanted anything in life.ÂťY/n started to explain him.
All of her life was planned for her,from the moment she came to the world,by her father that only saw his daughter as piece of chess to move on the board in order to gain power.She didnât even knew who she was if not Lady Y/n,a proper and polite young girl ready to marry in the royal house.But now she knew who she was,what she liked to eat,to read,what to do in her free time and it was all thanks to Aegon that had shown her how to be selfish for the first time and to live for herself.
ÂŤAnd I see myself now,I can see myself,but I'm not happy.Because I have a new wish,much more important:that you can see yourself in the same way I see you,the way our children already see you.Then yes,i would be happy.We would both be happy.Âťshe told him,sincerely with a little smile on her beautiful face.
Y/n had plundered his last feelings,which were nothing more than bread crumbs left attached to the eaten crusts.If the world fell,the sun fell,all the snow,the hail,the rain and the lightning fell,even the rainbow.He will make fire pour from the sky,he will spill blood just to keep his family alive and safe besides him.
Aegon doesnât say anything,he moves forward on top of her and kisses her one again.He has a wish now:time.The only thing he wanted was time,more time to see his children grow up and become beautiful people,time to spend with them and to teach them how the world works,to help them and hold their hands,to protect them when they were scared and to remains them that he will love them forever.More time with Y/n,to love and cherish her,to grow old with her,to make her smile and laugh at the most inappropriate times,to caress her sweet face at night as he watches her sleep.He just wanted more time,he deserved it.
ÂŤHow about,the next time that rains,we go outside,just us.ÂťAegon murmurs on her lipsÂŤI have a wish to make.Âťhe continued with a small smile.
And he prayed the gods,whoever could listen to him,that it would become true the moment Y/n giggled and nodded her head.He hoped but hope can do nothing against an already written destiny and then he will be ready to go to war.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers#aegon ii targaryen#house of the dragon x reader#hotd x y/n#hotd x reader#hotd x you#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen imagine#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon x reader#aegon targaryen#team green#dance of the dragons#x reader#asoiaf x reader#got x reader#fire and blood spoilers#blood and cheese#hotd season 2 spoilers#hotd season 1#imagine#angst#hotd angst#helaena targaryen#jaehaerys targaryen#jaehaera targaryen#fluff
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A single shaft of sunlight breaks leaden clouds on New Zealandâs Dusky Sound
National Geographic | September 1971
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Master Lu Tzu said : That which exists through itself is called Meaning (Tao). Meaning has neither name nor force. It is the one essence, the one primordial spirit. Essence and life cannot be seen. It is contained in the Light of Heaven. The Light of Heaven cannot be seen. It is contained in the two eyes.
The Secret Of The Golden Flower By Richard Wilhelm And Carl Jung
[Â i-will-talk-fish]
#National Geographic#New Zealand#Dusky Sound#1071#The Secret of the golden Flower#Richard Wilhelm#Carl Jung#my favorites#words and writing#light#light and dark
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The Secret Of The Golden Flower By Richard Wilhelm And Carl Jung
Another version:
The Secret of the Golden Flower: Translated, with Introduction, Notes, and Commentary by Thomas Cleary
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Doing Or Watching Myself Do?
One of the weird things about meditation is what you learn about yourself â like it or not. I have sometimes said that whatever other values meditation has, the things along the way are beneficial. A lot of it comes from understanding your own habits, obsessions, and mistakes.
In this case, Iâd like to talk about learning the difference between doing and watching.
My meditative practice, as noted often, is informed by The Secret of the Golden Flower (Cleary Translation) among other readings. I tune my breath to be slow and even as I watch it, refining my breath and my awareness as I go. I sometimes call it the Triple Action as following, slowing, and evening is all one.
Without going into the benefits and experiences - as I and others note discussing goals often distracts from the act - itâs fascinating to see what happens when I get off track. If youâre not a meditatior and wonder âhow can you get off track by just breathing evenly and slowlyâ then my advice is âtry to do it consistently for five minutes.â
So anyway there I am meditating and tuning my breath, feeling strangely distracted and distant, and of course I continue to meditate since that continuity is part of the point. I continued and still felt like something wasnât quite right, that I couldnât quite focus. Then suddenly I become aware of whatâs happening.
Iâm not just there following my ever-refining breath, Iâm watching myself do it. Iâm following the watching of myself. Itâs like doing something by looking in a mirror - just a lot of what we do is looking at reflections of ourselves in our own mind, our own self-image. I was so intent on the mirror I kept losing focus on the thing I wanted to pay attention to â my breath.
Now I kept up with my practice - insights can be distractions - but that stuck with me when I was done. Sometimes youâre not watching something, youâre watching watching. Sometimes youâre not thinking, youâre thinking about yourself thinking. The human mind can get into some pretty wild infinite recursion, which is immediately obvious as soon as you remember your last neurotic obsession.
This was a reminder of how we can make simple things very complex, how we over-think, over-monitor, and end up abstract from our lives. Itâs pretty amazing what following your tuned breath can reveal to you.
But donât let such realizations distract you.
Xenofact
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The Secret of the Golden Flower (Thomas Cleary) page 118 -119 paragraphs 2 - 4
"Generally speaking, references to points or periods of time in alchemical literature refer not to clock or calendar time but to psychological time. Intense condensation of experiential time is also characteristic of mental concentration in the alchemical process. In his classic Understanding Reality, Chang Po-tuan writes, "changing hours for days is the pattern of the spiritual work." Liu I-ming explains, "Developed people, emulating the image of the sun and moon meeting, place thirty days within one day, and also place one day within one hour: in one hour activating strong energy, they use the human mind to produce the mind of Tao, use the mind of Tao to govern the human mind, produce real knowledge by conscious knowledge, and purge undifferentiated primal energy for the mother of the elixir, and follow the spiritual mechanism of the transformations of yin and yang as the firing process."
Empowerment refers to the stabilization of the higher consciousness so that one can turn the light around at will in any and all circumstances. This may require a period of special effort, represented by the hundred days setting up the foundation.
In both Chan Buddhism and the Norther School of Completely Real Taoism, "seeing essence," directly experiencing the essence of consciousness in itself, is temporarily set up as an aim for those who are bound up in the products of consciousness and thereby alienated from its essence. After "seeing essence" is attained, it then becomes a means rather than an end: a means of freeing mental energy for further development. Because "seeing essence" can give a false sense of confidence before the union of conscious knowledge and real knowledge is matured, enlightened guidance is needed. The classical statement of this principle in Chan Buddhism says, "First awaken on your own, then see someone else." Here the text says "everything that emerges naturally from essence is tested" in the sense that it is necessary to examine the subsequent activity of consciousness for remaining taints of compulsive mental habit ruled by mundane conditioning. This is one of the most important functions of a guide."
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Sweet Temptations â p.seonghwa
Âť ateez masterlist | seonghwa masterlist ÂŤ
⎠florist!Seonghwa à fem!Reader wc: 22.1k (sorry lmao) summary: Y/N favorite part of working at the Sweet Temptations Cafe is the view of the gorgeous flower shop across the street and the handsome and kind florist who comes in every morning at 7 am on the dot. genres/themes/au: smut; flower love language, strangers to lovers; non idol au, florist au, barista au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, alcohol consumption, flirty Seonghwa, also Seonghwa being a menace, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!
join my taglist! MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.
a/n: this is my submission for the @cultofdionysus Spring event, The Language of Flowers. I have no excuse for the word count lmao just enjoy it. Iâm probably going to stick to posting longer oneshots because I enjoy world building. Thank you so much @cheolism for beta-reading this for me ę°ď˝Ąâ˘âĄâ˘ď˝Ąęą thank you to everyone who reads this and if you reblog it, just know Iâm tucking you into bed and kissing ur forehead đ as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
smut warnings: male masturbation, corruption kink, unprotected sex (wrap that shit), oral (m receiving, f receiving), mild facefucking (f receiving), dirty talk, praise (f receiving), finger sucking, spitting, choking (f receiving), marking/biting (f receiving), semi public sex, rough sex, hair pulling (m receiving), mild breeding kink, use of pet names (baeknari/lily, petal, blossom, sweetheart, kitten, etc.), dom!Seonghwa, sub!Reader, and I think thatâs it but I could have missed some lol
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Park Seonghwa was a simple man, known for three things: his love for coffee, his punctuality, and his affinity for flowers.Â
It had never been his intention to open a flower shop but somehow it had happened. When he was a child, his father had loved gardening, as had his mother. From a young age Seonghwa had learned the language of flowers, particularly of those in his parentsâ garden. Along with his exceedingly good looks, his knowledge of flowers ended up helping him score points with the girls in his class.
As a teenager, Seonghwa wanted to be an athlete, particularly in volleyball, having lost his love for flowers and their secret language. He'd intended to make that his career but after the untimely death of his grandmother, Seonghwa rediscovered a passion and love for flowers. He changed his major from sports to business administration and upon graduating with a degree, he set out to start a business.
Four years had passed since he opened his flower shop, The Flower Guy, and he was surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response from the town. Business had been booming ever since he opened his shop and it didnât die down. Heâd built up a steady clientele, from other businesses to wedding planners.Â
Heâd been able to turn it into his livelihood and couldnât be happier with the decisions that led him to where he was now, even as he swept the floor of the shop, pushing the dirt into the waiting dustpan.
The sun was setting over the town square, basking the buildings in its dying golden glow. With a stretch and a sigh, Seonghwa checked the time on his watch before walking over, turning the lock on the door, and flipping off the switch for the open sign. He went back to his sweeping, brushing all the dirt and debris from the stone tile into the dustpan before picking it up and making his way to the back of his shop to deposit the dirt.
He checked the door leading to the narrow alley behind his shop, making sure the lock was secure â although if anyone did manage to break in, the most they would find were some flowers and maybe some gardening tools. Seonghwa was a smart man and always made sure to empty the register and do his accounting at the end of each day, taking everything home to put in his safe there. The safe in the shop was for show and only kept papers inside.
After putting away the broom and dustpan, he set to work mopping the tiles from the door to the back before putting the microfiber mop away. He then set to work, misting all the flowers in the back room. After he grabbed the till from the register, moving back to the office to start the process of closing up and counting the profits of the day.
You flipped the sign from opened to closed and let out a yawn. The square outside was almost deserted, only a few people still outside, enjoying the nice weather of the day.Â
âY/N, could you wipe down the tables and counter for me?â you heard from behind you and turned to find your manager, Addie, already starting to mop.Â
Without a word, you headed through the shop, ducking behind the counter to grab a clean rag and the bucket of soapy disinfectant water. You grabbed a pair of gloves, pulling them on before heading out to start wiping the tables down and cleaning them up. You worked in silence, the soft piano tones of the overhead speakers playing on low volume.
The cafe wasnât very big, and the tables werenât exceptionally dirty, so it didnât take you any longer than usual to wipe all of them down. You were wiping down the counter, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot of spilled coffee you must have missed earlier in the day when Addie returned, opening the drawer of the first register and starting to read the card slips, inputting any of the tips that hadnât been put into the computer.
Once done, she pulled out the money and added it to the jar you kept on the counter by the register for tips before moving to the other register and repeating the process. It had just been the two of you working the front end and one person, Lin, in the kitchen.Â
Wednesdays werenât a particularly busy day for the cafe and the amount of work you had closing reflected that. Addie went to the back to do the daily accounting while you checked on Lin in the kitchen, offering them your help. Once you were both done, you announced your departure to Addie who wished you both a good night.
Outside, you said goodbye to your coworker and noticed the door of the flower shop opening. The florist was exiting, shutting the door behind him and locking it with his key which he returned to his pocket. He turned and froze, noticing you watching him.
âGood evening,â you said as he started forward again, closing the distance between you.Â
âEvening, baeknari,â he said, a smile on his face as he reached you, matching your pace as you started to walk alongside him.
âThat nickname again,â you thought to yourself, a smile threatening to spread across your lips.
You remembered when youâd asked him what it meant and he told you that in Korean it meant white lily. For some reason, him calling you âwhite lilyâ made you giddy.
âBusy today?â you asked, keeping your hands tucked in your pockets.
âNot terribly,â he replied, his own hands tucked in his coat pockets. âMainly just people coming to buy flowers for their partners. Got a couple events booked next week,â he added.Â
âDo you book a lot of events?â you asked as the two of you walked towards the main street.Â
âA fair few.Mostly birthdays and the odd anniversary,â he explained. âThe floral arrangements for those are always easy.â
You smiled as you glanced up at him.
Ever since youâd first met Seonghwa, there was something about him that drew you to him. Maybe it was his passion for his craft, his sense of humor, or maybe his incredibly good looks. Regardless, you had been intrigued immediately and were interested in getting to know him on a more personal level.
You knew almost next to nothing about the man other than he liked banana nut muffins, caramel macchiatos with white chocolate sauce, and flowers. You could pick out other little facts based on your short interactions with him. He dressed like a model, wearing clothes that probably cost more than you were willing to spend. Then again, he could probably make anything he wore look expensive.
He also smelled amazing, like warm vanilla and cinnamon.
Not that you took to smelling him often. The scent just permeated the air around him; not in a way that had you coughing or gagging, though. He reeked of expensive taste and oozed a confidence and charisma that you could only dream of possessing.
âWhat are the hardest events?â you asked, looking up at him. The two of you stopped at the main thoroughfare and Seonghwa turned to look at you, fixing you with his dark brown eyes. He hesitated a moment before answering your question.
âWeddings,â he said honestly. âI love booking weddings because I can make a lot of money doing floral arrangements for an entire venue but thereâs theâŚâ he trailed off, glancing away and across the street. You took a step forward, not realizing it until he looked back down at you and was considerably closer.
That was the thing about Seonghwa, he had this innate ability to draw people into him, figuratively and literally. He was alluring and magnanimous. He always managed to invade your thoughts and made you want more of him, whether that be through conversation or something more intimate â
âGet it together, Y/N. Youâre in public!â
âThe what?â you asked softly. Seonghwa chuckled lightly before answering.
âThe brides,â he replied. Your brows knitted together, confusion taking over your features.Â
âThe brides?â you asked. âWhatâs wrong with the brides?âÂ
Seonghwa shook his head. âNothing, inherently. Itâs just some of them.â
You nodded, understanding instantly.
âAh,â you replied, fighting the urge to smirk. âBridezillas.â
He nodded, eyes scanning your face as you glanced at a passing couple with a dog, a smile crossing your face. One of your favorite things about this town was all the dog owners. You loved dogs.
âDistracted much?â
You turned back to Seonghwa. âYeah,â he finally said. âThe bridezillas.â
You opened your mouth to respond but was cut short by the shrill sound of a ringing phone. Seonghwa sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, holding up a finger. âHold that thought,â he said, fishing his phone from his pocket, and checked the screen.
Whoever was on the other end he must not have wanted to talk to, because he groaned and rolled his eyes yet again. âIâm so sorry,â he said softly, looking up at you. âI have to take this and if I know this person, theyâre going to talk and talk and talk. Iâll see you tomorrow, yeah?â
You nodded as he started to back away, his phone still ringing. âHave a good night!â you called as he answered the phone.Â
âYou, too!â he said before turning away and starting to walk in the direction of his home, leaving you to turn and walk the opposite direction.
âThis had better be good, Joong,â Seonghwa snapped. âI was in the middle of a conversation with ââ
âWith Cafe Girl?â
Seonghwa sighed, coming to a halt and pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
âYes. And for the last time, her name is Y/N.â
Hongjoong chuckled on the other end. âYeah, her. Have you asked her out yet?â
Seonghwa continued walking, switching his phone to the other side. âNo,â he answered. âNot yet.â
Hongjoong booed him and Seonghwa clenched his jaw as he walked through the few pedestrians on the sidewalk, making his way to his apartment. âYouâre never gonna get in her bed if you donât ask her out.âÂ
Seonghwa could have strangled his friend.
âIs there a point to your call?â Seonghwa asked as he approached the door to his building.
âOh, right! I have this thing,â Hongjoong started. âAn event.âÂ
Seonghwa snorted as he typed the code in to get into his building. âYou have an event?â he asked incredulously as he walked across the lobby, nodding at one of his neighbors picking up their mail as he stopped by his mailbox to retrieve his.
âYes,â Hongjoong said, sounding indignant. âI have an event and I was wonderââ
âLet me guess,â Seonghwa said as he pressed the button for the elevator. âYou want me to do floral arrangements?âÂ
He heard Hongjoong scoff over the phone. âNo, I was gonna ask you to attend, smartass.âÂ
Seonghwa got off at his floor and made his way to his door, bowing politely to his neighbor as he passed.
âWhen is it?â Seonghwa asked as he reached his door, fishing out his keys and unlocking the door.
Once inside, he kicked his shoes off and walked over to deposit his mail on the kitchen counter.
âNext month, the 30th.âÂ
Seonghwa told him to hold, pulling his phone away from his ear to check his calendar.
âI should be free,â he said. âSend me the details,â he added as he started to go through his mail.
âAwesome. And actually, on second thought, could you perhaps make me something pretty to display?â
Seonghwa chuckled, shaking his head. âGoodbye Joong,â he said, hanging up before his best friend could say anything else.
âThe nerve of that guy,â he whispered as he set his phone down. âTo expect me to make him shit for free.â
Of course, Seonghwa would make something nice for Hongjoong and he would definitely be doing it for free.
Free food and alcohol that is.
ââââââââââââââââââ
âWell, shit.â
Seonghwa stared at the long line from outside the cafe and sighed, reluctantly pulling open the door and stepping, holding the door for two people who were leaving. He glanced over the heads of the patrons before him to find you working diligently to take orders with another cashier and even hopping on to help fulfill orders, making lattes and wrapping up scones, muffins, and other pastries all with a smile on your face.
One of his favorite things about you. You never complained, at least not in front of the customers. You never let them see how overwhelmed or stressed you were. You always had a smile on your face, working fast to make sure everyoneâs orders came out in a timely manner.Â
You handed over a bag full of pastries, giving the customer in front of you another radiant smile before they stepped aside to wait for their coffee and you were able to take the next order. Seonghwa couldnât help but watch you work. He always had a habit of watching you when he came in.
He hated how creepy that made him sound but he was just so fascinated with how well you seemed to work under pressure and how well you kept it together when a customer was screaming in your face. You were always so polite and so sweet and Seonghwa knew he wasnât the only one who noticed you.
There were always a plethora of men who flirted with you, asking for your number, asking what time you got off work. And always you turned them down gently and sent them on their way; every single guy got the same treatment.
Well, every guy except for Seonghwa. He noticed that when the other guys flirted, you smiled and steered the conversation back to their order, yet when Seonghwa did the exact same thing, flirting with you as if you hadnât heard every pick up line in the book, you never once turned him down.Â
In fact, if Seonghwa was remembering correctly, you often flirted back with him, smile widening into a genuine one before you looked down at the counter and either busied yourself with a marker or your apron, something you often did when you were flustered.
He wasnât sure what it was, but with him, you always flirted back and it drove Seonghwa increasingly mad. Especially when your smiles turned shy, you shifted nervously, or pretended to be busy, all tell tale signs you were shy or flustered.Â
Seonghwa remembered the first day you started working here, having been a regular customer for several years. Heâd seen several guys flirt with you before he approached the counter and made a joke about them, which made you genuinely laugh. That was the exact moment he knew you were going to plague his every thought.Â
That laugh, the way you threw your head back, the genuine joy and amusement on your face and the cute stickers you added to his cup sent the signal that you just might be interested in him and so every day for the last two years, heâs been coming to this cafe.
Not for the coffee, not for the pastries, but to see your beautiful face. Hopefully make you smile or laugh, and when he did, it gave him enough fuel to get through the day, more than the coffee or the muffins you sold him every morning.
Seonghwa was only a few paces from the counter when you noticed him. You had been making a latte when you glanced over and noticed him, a shy smile gracing your lips before you went back to work so as to not spill any of the boiling hot coffee on your hands.
The next customer went, ordering what seemed to be the entire left side of the menu; thankfully the person before Seonghwa ordered a simple black coffee and a sugar-free blueberry muffin; then it was his turn. You wiped down the counter and smiled at him which soon turned apologetic.
âIâm so sorry,â you started softly. Seonghwaâs stomach sank and he wondered what you could possibly need to apologize to him for. âWe ran out of your usual muffin,â you explained and Seonghwa smiled, his stomach settling back where it was supposed to be. No banana nut muffins? No problem.
âOh thatâs alright,â he said, glancing at the menu quickly. âJust the usual coffee and Iâll try a lemon poppyseed muffin instead,â he ordered, pulling his wallet out as you punched his order in and pressing the card reader option on the terminal.
âSorry itâs so busy,â you added in an undertone. Seonghwa tapped his card against the reader until it beeped and put his card away in his wallet, placing it back in his pocket.Â
âAnd take your time,â he added. âIâm not in any rush.â You smiled and mouthed âthank youâ before turning to start making his coffee.
It wasnât like anyone else couldnât make his coffee, but he preferred it when you did and knew you preferred it, too. You often drew little doodles or added stickers and left encouraging messages on his cup sleeve â which he totally didnât keep when he needed a mood pick up during the long hours at the shop.
He waited patiently off to the side, checking his phone. He wished he could get your number one of these days but he really had no way of asking, considering he knew youâd never be able to give your number to a customer while you were working. That had to be against a bunch of rules.
But he could leave his number with you, right? God, he was stupid. Why hadnât he thought of that before?
Seonghwa approached the counter to speak to your co-worker. âHi,â he said softly. âDo you have a post-it note and a pen I could borrow?â he asked. The college-aged student nodded, grabbing a stack of yellow post-its and a pen, handing them off to Seonghwa. He took them with a thanks, scribbling down his number and name.
You moved from the coffee maker and slid open the cold case to grab his muffin with a deli paper. You placed it into a paper sack and grabbed the coffee cup, moving to the pick up area where Seonghwa was waiting. âOne caramel macchiato with white chocolate sauce and a lemon poppyseed muffin,â you said with a smile as you placed his order on the counter and pushed it towards him.
Seonghwa leaned forward, thanking you and pressing the folded yellow post-it into your hand before grabbing his coffee and muffin, giving you a wink, and making his way to the door. He didnât stop to see if you opened the note. He would find out later if you took him up on his offer.
As he reached the door to his shop, fishing his keys out to unlock the door and let himself in, he felt his pocket vibrate in his pocket and chuckled to himself. âThat was fast,â he whispered as he shut the door and turned the lock, moving through the front room and into the office.
He set his coffee and muffin down, reached into his coat pocket and pulled his phone out, expecting to see an unknown number but instead saw a text from Hongjoong.
Joongie: what was that shit we got when we were in the city last month? The wine. The red one Seonghwa rolled his eyes before typing in a quick response. Seonghwa: the red wine we got at dinner from that one restaurant? It was Roscato â Rosso Dolce. Joongie: ur a life saver! (: thank u! Seonghwa: is this to impress a girl? Joongie: Iâll never tell ;)
Seonghwa rolled his eyes and locked the screen of his phone, setting it down on the desk and removing his coat to hang up. He sat down and opened his bag to pull out the muffin and took a nibble. It wasnât bad. The banana nut ones were his favorite but this would do.
He grabbed the coffee cup and smiled at the words and doodles on the page as well as a couple stickers. âShe must have done this when I wasnât looking,â he told himself, smiling at the little notes you left on his coffee sleeve. Another one for his collection.
The rush had finally ended and you could take your break. You grabbed a simple iced coffee and a muffin, moving to the back to sit at the break table and pulled the yellow note from your apron. You unfolded it and read on the note.
You smiled, gently nibbling on your bottom lip as you slipped your phone out of your pocket and opened your texting app, entering his digits into your phone and sending a quick text.
Y/N: hey. itâs Y/N (: Iâd love to get dinner with you. Just say the time and place
You continued to pick and nibble on your muffin, scrolling on your phone as you ticked away the minutes of your break. You decided to send one more text to let Seonghwa know you were heading back to work and would be unavailable until after your shift was over.
Once it sent, you pocketed the device and went back to work, trying desperately not to think about the phone in your apron pocket that vibrated every so often and what that notification might be.Â
The rest of your shift was uneventful as you took orders from the few stragglers that came in, others coming in to take up residence at a table and work on either work or school work while sipping on their coffee and taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi.
âCould you take these back to the kitchen to be washed,â Addie asked softly, pulling you out of your stupor as you stood doodling mindlessly on a notepad you kept at the register. You set the pen down and stood up, taking the carafes from her and heading for the doorway into the kitchen where Lin was currently washing dishes.Â
âNeed any help back here?â you asked, hopefully but they shook their head.Â
âNah,â Lin answered. âI got it. But thank you,â they added.
You turned away and headed back up front, sighing heavily as you returned to your spot. You glanced up at the clock. Time seemed to be ticking slowly, minute by minute. Inching by like a snail on a garden wall. Slow and steady wins the race but what race? Race of being bored to death?
âOkay, Y/N, stop being dramatic.â
âAddie,â you murmured, chin resting in your hand as you looked around at the mostly empty cafe. âIâm dying of boredom here,â you announced before turning to face her. âPlease tell me you have something for me to do,â you said, almost pleadingly. Addie chuckled and nodded towards the dining area.Â
âIf youâre desperate for something to do, you can wipe down the empty tables,â she answered and you smiled, ducking down to grab the small bucket of soapy sanitizer water and a clean rag, before standing up and making your way out from behind the counter.
Cleaning the tables was something to keep your body occupied but unfortunately it didnât do much for keeping your mind occupied. Every once in a while, you threw glances towards the windows that looked out into the town square where you could see the front of the flower shop.Â
You pulled your phone out and snuck a glance at the screen but there were no notifications beyond your discord group chats with friends. âHe must be really busy,â you thought to yourself as you tucked your phone away and went back to wiping down the tables.
Every time a table cleared, you were quick to wipe it down, brushing any debris onto the floor to sweep up later with the broom.
When the last of the customers cleared out and Addie shut the door, locking it and flipping the open sign over to the side that read âclosed,â you were beyond excited to get out of the cafe and go home.Â
Grabbing the broom, you started from the back, sweeping around the cafe, making little piles of dirt, trash, and other debris to come by and pick up with the dustpan later. Lin finished the dishes in the back and was restocking the small fridges under the counter while Addie was preparing things for the following day.
Once your small mounds of dust and trash had been swept up, you made your way to the back to fill the mop bucket and grab the mop. Taking it back to the front, you worked from the far side of the shop towards the counter while Lin returned to the kitchen to clean the back.
By the time both you and Lin had finished mopping and drying key areas of the floor, Addie had finished counting the tills and was in the office, doing the final accounting duties of the day.
âWeâre finished, Addie,â Lin said as you both peered into the office.Â
âAll right,â she replied. âIâll see you two tomorrow?âÂ
You nodded, waving and then made your way to the front door, Lin not far behind.
âDo you want to grab an early dinner?â Lin asked as they pulled their beanie on, the ends of their hair multicolored flipping up. You smiled and shook your head.Â
âNo, but thank you,â you replied. âIâll see you tomorrow!â you announced as you turned to walk in the direction of your home, Lin heading the opposite way.
As you passed, you glanced over at the floral shop to see the lights inside were still on from what you could see; the open sign had also been flipped to show it was now closed. You hadnât seen anyone go in or out of the shop since Seonghwa entered it this morning and you wondered if it was normally closed on certain weekdays and you just hadnât noticed before.
You were half tempted to stop by, knock on the door and tell Seonghwa in person that you were interested in going on that date, but youâd have to just trust he would get your texts. You didnât want to come off as desperate but something inside you told you Seonghwa wouldnât mind even if you did.
Still, you would wait for his response.
Seonghwa looked up from sweeping to notice the cafe had already flipped its open sign. He could see your figure in the distance walking away from the shop and he watched as you walked away, resisting the urge to exit his own shop and stop you. Heâd just wait until he got home to check his messages.Â
He hadnât been able to look at his phone since that morning when Hongjoong texted him. He had orders to fill for school dances and other events. It was also pruning day so he really couldnât have his phone on him with how much work he had to do.
He turned away as your form disappeared from his line of sight and continued sweeping. His hands tightened around the broomstick, the frequency of his sweeping motion increasing as he remembered the way your eyes looked up at him in curiosity when he handed you the note and it made his mind run wild.
âNo. Stop it.â
He shook his head and tried to go back to the task at hand but it wasnât long until his mind wandered, imagining how youâd look bending over to sweep the cafe and again he had to take a deep breath and force his mind elsewhere. It was getting ridiculous, the way his thoughts ran wild when you were on the forefront of his mind.
He was no stranger to fantasies but this was beyond fantasizing at this point. He couldnât help but think about you doing the most mundane tasks before his imagination got away from him and he was imagining bending you over his kitchen counter, or laying you back on the counter of the cafe as he buried his head between your thighs â
âStop it!â he shouted, throwing the broom to the floor with a clatter as he ran his fingers through his hair, eyes screwed shut as he regulated his breathing, shoulders rising and falling as he failed to gain control of his own thoughts and emotions.
His constant fantasizing made him feel like some sort of crazed sexual deviant and he often wondered if maybe he just needed to get laid and the thoughts might go away. Unfortunately for him, the only person he wanted was the source of his anguish, the subject of all his fantasies and thoughts.
Seonghwa grumbled to himself, bending over to pick up the broom and resume sweeping. He needed to get it done fast so he could go home to find some relief.
Once the shop was clean and locked up tightly, Seonghwa left out the front door, the bell ringing as he opened the door and shut it. Once he locked it, he began making his way across the square in the same direction you had initially gone, only to eventually turn right and head for his own apartment.
It wasnât much, an old brick building that was once a high school before the new one was built and the old one turned into apartments. It was the first place Seonghwa looked when he was moving to this town and found a one bedroom apartment with a den. Heâd lived there ever since, turning the clean slate into a home.
The bedroom Seonghwa had turned into an office and opted to sleep in the den where there were no windows. He had this thing about light; he couldnât sleep if any lights were on, even if they came from outside. The den had no window, and so he didnât need to buy blackout curtains. The doors to the den were double sliding doors that met in the middle and with the twist of a knob, locked together. It wasnât as sturdy as a bedroom door, but it did the job.
Seonghwa unlocked the door, letting himself into the apartment where he shut and locked the door. He then leaned against it, letting out a sigh that morphed into a groan. He took off his shoes, setting them by the shoe rack, and removed his coat, hanging it up in the closet by the front door.
He set his mail on the counter and started going through it, sorting the important stuff from the junk.
Once that was done, he checked the time and sighed before picking up his phone and scrolling through the options for delivery. Once he settled on something, he placed his order and went about his business until there was a buzz at the intercom.
The restaurant must not have been busy because his food arrived promptly and he buzzed the driver up, paying him and giving a generous tip before closing the door and settling down with his meal and a show for background noise.
His thoughts shifted to you and what you might be having for dinner. Were you eating alone? Were you watching TV? Had you gone on a date? That last thought almost soured his mood but he forced the thought from his mind and dug his phone out of his pocket.
He had a handful of texts from an unknown number and opened the messages.Â
xxx-xxxx-xxxx: hey. itâs Y/N (: Iâd love to get dinner with you. Just say the time and place xxx-xxxx-xxxx: i was on my break but i have to go back now and wonât be able to check my phone xxx-xxxx-xxxx: just let me know! xxx-xxxx-xxxx: hey i just got off and iâm heading home. xxx-xxxx-xxxx: iâm still interested in getting dinner with you sometime
Seonghwa smiled to himself reading your texts before he promptly saved your number to his phone and shot you a few texts back.
Seonghwa: hey sorry I didnât get back to you sooner. I just sat down to eat dinner. It was a busy day at the shop Seonghwa: if youâre still interested, iâd love to get dinner some time this week Seonghwa: does this Saturday work for you?
He set his phone aside and resumed eating only for his screen to light up with a new text from you. âShe responded so fast?â he thought. âIs she eager?â Or perhaps, like him, she was desperate. Not that he would judge. He would never think of you in a bad way. He knew he was desperate, maybe even pathetic at times, but you? Not you. You were nothing like him.
Y/N: saturday sounds perfect (: what time?
He typed a quick response, trying not to get overly excited by the fact that you wanted to see him too. âItâs not that serious,â he told himself. âDown boy.â
Seonghwa: how about 7? I know this Italian place not far from my apartment
He held his phone in his hand, food all but forgotten as he waited for your response which came just as quickly as it had before.
Y/N: sounds perfect! Send me the address and Iâll meet you there
Seonghwa smiled to himself as he typed in the restaurant name and address for you to save before he set his phone down and looked at his forgotten meal, cursing silently as he picked up his utensil and continued eating.
He had a date with you on Saturday at seven pm and he was going to need to be on his best behavior.
After eating, he cleaned up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Since the sweeping incident, he hadnât been able to calm down and decided it would be best if he just relieved himself in the shower.
It had come down to this plenty of times before, fantasizing about you while he was at work only to have to come home and jerk off so he could settle down and go to sleep. It was like second nature at this point. He had a few fantasies he could relive in moments like these, letting out a sigh as the hot water beat down on him, running down his body as he stood under the stream.
He pushed his hair out of his face, keeping his eyes shut as he let his hands rest on the back of his neck. Taking a deep breath, he let one of his hands wander, sliding down his chest, moving slowly further and further down until the tips of his fingers brushed over his pubic region, stopping to take a deep breath.
Behind his eyelids, he imagined your face, your sweet smile when he would flirt with you, the way you looked away clearly flustered by his attention. The images in his mind shifted to you standing in his kitchen; it wasnât entirely uncommon for his fantasies to start off with doing something domestic like cooking.
He let out a sigh as his fingers wrapped around the base of his cock. In his mind, he had you bent over the counter, panties around your ankles as he guided the tip of his cock to your soaking entrance.Â
Slowly Seonghwaâs hand moved, stroking himself as he imagined it was your cunt instead that was cripping him tightly. He could almost hear your whimpers as he imagined he was thrusting into your warm, velvety walls instead of into his fist.
âFuck,â he hissed, chest rising and falling with labored breaths as he continued to stroke himself, squeezing the base of his cock like he imagined your cunt would as you started to spasm around him. A few more strokes and he let out a stifled moan as he came, ropes of white hitting the shower tile.Â
He took a few moments to regain his composure before spraying down the tiles, washing away the shame of fantasizing about you. He always felt guilty following this sessions in the shower or in his bed as he imagined fucking you or your mouth but the shame would ebb away and the desire to have you, to corrupt you, would return in full force.
As he continued with the routine of his shower, he wondered what you looked like when you came. Did your eyes roll back as your lips parted in a silent moan?
Did you cry out, tears in the corner of your eyes as you came? He wanted nothing more than to find out, but he had to remind himself to take it slow. He didnât want to scare you.
âBaby steps.â
Once he was cleaned, dried, and dressed in his pajamas, Seonghwa entered the den, shutting the doors behind him and moving to set his phone on the wireless charger. He noticed he had another text from you.
Y/N: goodnight Seonghwa (:
He smiled as he sent a text back before putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and set it on the charger. He turned off the light and got into bed, thankfully drifting off to sleep quickly.
As quickly as sleep came, the dreams followed and the next morning, Seonghwa woke up with a raging hard-on and a new fantasy involving the cute barista from his favorite cafe.
After taking a quick shower to relieve himself, Seonghwa got dressed and headed out of the apartment, making his way down the stairs when he checked his pocket to find he was missing his phone. âDamn it,â he cursed softly and headed back up, letting himself into his apartment and grabbing his phone from where he left it in his room.
He checked the screen to see if it was charged and found a few message notifications. He opened the device and smiled as he read the texts from you.
Y/N: good morning Seonghwa Y/N: i hope you slept well! (: Y/N: i canât wait to see you in the cafe this morning
Seonghwa chuckled, pocketing the phone and headed back out to start making his way to the town square. The whole walk there, he contemplated going to another cafe but felt that might be a little mean. Maybe he just wanted you to long for his presence the way he longed for yours.
The scene in the cafe was the opposite of the previous morning and you were currently camped out by the register, ringing up an order for a small elderly woman. When she paid and stepped aside it was Seonghwaâs turn and he was instantly glad he decided not to visit another cafe.
The smile that spread across your lips and reached to your eyes was even more radiant than any smile heâd seen before. âGood morning,â you said breathlessly and Seonghwa knew it the way you said it was more than a standard employee greeting a customer.
There was a sparkle in your eyes heâd never seen before. Almost a yearning, like you were excited to see him. âCute,â he told himself as he glanced up at the menu. As if he even needed to.Â
âThe usual?â you asked before he could start order and he smiled at your eagerness to serve him.
Before he could stop it, his mind wandered and he wondered if you were this eager to please in other areas. âDonât do this. Not right now,â he told himself. He swallowed thickly and nodded. âYes please,â he replied, feeling relieved when you looked down to punch in his order.
You told him his total, pressing the button for the card reader yet again, same routine as the day before and he paid by tapping his card against the reader. Once it beeped, you printed off the receipt and set it on a stack after he refused it. You opened the case to get his muffin, a banana nut one, from the second shelf, put it in a paper bag, and handed it to him before getting started on his coffee.
Seonghwa normally busied himself with his phone while you worked but this time, he didnât look away. Instead he allowed his eyes to wander, taking in your backside. He was eternally grateful the cafe didnât force you to wear some ugly uniform.Â
You wore a knee length cream colored dress with a white lace trim peeking out from under the hem. The dress was fitted at the waist, showing off your curves as you worked. The sleeves were short and there was a collared v-neck. The dark brown apron you wore complimented the dress, offering some contrast.
Seonghwa didnât often take in what you were wearing, but the dress was really pretty on you. He wondered if you always wore clothes like this to work or if you had dressed up for him.
You finished his coffee, placing a lid on it and then sliding the cup into a sleeve before picking up a marker and starting to write on it. He saw you sneak a couple of stickers onto the sleeve before walking over to the pick up counter and set his coffee down.Â
âOne caramel macchiato with white chocolate sauce,â you said softly, almost shyly as he stepped forward to take it.Â
âThank you,â he said softly and smiled as you adjusted the ties of your apron that most certainly didnât need adjusting. âSee you later,â Seonghwa said softly, sending you a wink and making his way towards the door, pushing it open with his back and stepping out into the square.
You sighed and watched Seonghwa walk out of the door, crossing the square to the floral shop and watched as he opened the door. âWhat are you looking at?â Lin asked in your ear and you flinched, turning your gaze away from the windows, grabbing a towel and starting to wipe the counters.
âN-nothing,â you stammered but Lin already saw everything.Â
âIsnât that the florist?â they asked. You shrugged, falling silent as you scrubbed at a stubborn spot on the counter.Â
âHeâs pretty handsome,â Lin added as you pretended to be busy.
âWhoâs pretty handsome?â a voice asked and you both turned to see Addie standing by the espresso machine, arms crossed as she leaned against the counter. âThe florist,â Lin answered before you could stop them. Addie raised an eyebrow, glancing out the cafe windows over at the flower shop before looking back at you.
âWhat about him?â
âY/N was sighing and watching him walk away,â Lin said, smirking at you as your cheeks burned and you looked away.Â
âSighing?â Addie asked, glancing at you. âOh no, is Y/N in love?â she asked, a slight teasing tone in her voice.Â
You rolled your eyes, setting the rag under the counter and started to walk away.
âI hate you guys,â you muttered, but you in fact did not hate them. A fact they were well aware of.
Throughout your shift, you sent texts to Seonghwa and he replied when he could. You could see people going in and out of the shop all day, some leaving with large bouquets and others with small ones or single flowers. Business was clearly booming, or was it blooming?
While you were waiting for your shift to end, you decided to pull up the restaurant Seonghwa had suggested, something you should have done yesterday when he first brought it up but it slipped your mind. He had mentioned it was an Italian place and the menu looked good.
As the day wore on, you were getting more and more excited for your date with the handsome florist.
Saturday, for you, could not come fast enough.
ââââââââââââââââââ
For Seonghwa, Saturday came much too fast and he wasnât sure if he could handle it. The fantasies starring you had increased in frequency and he was finding it harder (no pun intended) to not pop a boner at the mere thought of you. He needed to learn to control himself.Â
He stood in front of his mirror, adjusting the cuff of his black shirt as he looked over his appearance, seeing if anything was out of place. He took a deep breath and gave his reflection a nod before moving to grab his coat, sliding it on. From the counter, he retrieved his keys, wallet, and phone, pocketing the items as he walked over to the door, slipping on his shoes, and let himself out into the hall.
The ride in the small old elevator down to the main floor took a few minutes from his apartment on the top floor and soon he was walking through the empty lobby, footsteps echoing against the walls as he crossed the tile floor to the front door.
The walk to the restaurant wasnât a long one and he hoped it wasnât too far for you either. He didnât know exactly where you lived, he just knew you always turned left at the main road when walking home and he always went right.
The restaurant had opened up recently in a newly renovated building of connected shops. Seonghwa had seen it in passing a couple times and now that the opportunity to go on a date had presented itself, he figured it would be the perfect time to check it out, and who better to experience it with than the person who occupied almost all his thoughts.
Seonghwa arrived after a brisk walk, pulling the door open and then holding it for two people exiting. He stepped inside, approaching the host stand where a young woman with shoulder length brown hair wearing a plain black tee, black slacks stood.
She smiled up at him as he approached.
âHi, just one?â she asked, grabbing a menu.Â
âUh, two actually. I have a reservation,â Seonghwa answered.Â
She smiled, setting the menu down and opening the book. âName?â she asked, picking up a black pen and scanning the sheet.
âPark,â he answered, waiting for her to find his name.Â
âYouâre a little early,â she noted, checking the time. âI can mark you down and when your table opens up, I can send you a text,â she offered, looking up.Â
âI think Iâll just sit at the bar,â he said, watching as he scribbled something down on the page.Â
âAlright,â she said, smiling as she clicked the pen. âIâll let you know when a table opens up.â
Seonghwa thanked her and made his way over to the bar, catching the bartenderâs attention as he took a seat. The bartender, a man who seemed to be around his age, set a napkin in front of him. âWhat can I get you?â he asked. Seonghwa glanced at the glass bottles that lined a shelf behind him.
âCould I get a whiskey, neat?â he asked, looking back at the bartender who nodded and turned to open the case with the chilled glasses. Seonghwa took the opportunity to shrug out of his coat and look around as he unbuttoned his sleeve cuffs.
He had expected the restaurant to have a more modern feel but instead of a clean and sterile environment, the textured wallpaper was a cream colored, contrasting with the dark warm wood floors and accents. The tables were all round, covered in white tablecloth. The larger tables were in the middle with white cushioned chairs to accommodate 6 people. Along the windowed walls were smaller tables for two to three people.
Seonghwa turned back as the bartender returned, setting his drink in front of him. Seonghwa thanked him and pulled his wallet out to pay but the bartender declined. âFirst oneâs on the house,â he said with a smile and walked away to go about his duties.
Seonghwa picked up the glass, swirling the amber-colored liquid before raising the glass to his lips and tilting his head back. The burn of the alcohol brought him out of his own swirling thoughts and he let out a small sigh as he set the glass down and waited, hoping you were on your way.
You glanced at your reflection for what felt like the millionth time since putting on your dress.
Youâd opted for a white fitted one, which was a bold choice given that you were going to an Italian restaurant. You had gone back and forth on what to wear, trying to decide between a black dress and the white one you were currently sporting.
You checked the time and cursed. If you wanted to get to the restaurant on time, you needed to leave now. Rushing through your apartment, you grabbed your small clutch, putting your wallet, phone, and lip gloss into it and heading for the door where you slipped into your heels, a simple black heel with red bottoms. They had been a gift from your parents upon finishing school and you saved them for special occasions.
Once your coat was on, you headed out of your apartment, locking the door and heading down the stairs and out the front door.
You made the short walk to the bus station, opting to take the bus since you were wearing heels. The restaurant was only down the road from your building but youâd rather not kill your feet and thankfully, the bus showed up only moments later.
You boarded, pulling out your transport card and scanning it before picking a seat behind the driver and keeping your eyes down. You didnât often take the bus but when you did, you always felt like a million eyes were on you. Of course this wasnât true, no one was even paying any attention to you.
You really needed to stop reading and listening to r/no sleep and r/lets not meet stories.
The ride to the restaurant was uneventful and as the bus pulled up to the nearest stop, you stood up, briefly adjusting the hem of your dress and thanking the driver before heading for the steps, descending them carefully until your feet met the pavement.
The stop wasnât too far from the restaurant but you still needed to walk to make it there. You felt mildly subconscious about the people you passed, but you knew that was your anxiety speaking, assuming people were looking at you like you were some kind of main character in a story.
âThis isnât wattpad, Y/N,â you told yourself. âNo one is even looking at you. Wait, no, thatâs not true. That guy just looked.â
You offered a polite smile at the man you passed as he looked you up and down and you instantly regretted everything youâd ever done in your life. âGreat, he probably thinks youâre some kind of streetwalker. Not that thereâs anything wrong with prostitutionââ
âOh shut up,â another voice told you in the back of your mind.
You looked up as you approached the restaurant and opened the door, stepping into the warm, cozy setting, a low hum as people chatted at low volume over their meals, sharing wine, appetizers, and no doubt gossip. You looked around briefly, taking in the cream-colored wallpaper, dark warm wood floors, and round white cloth covered tables.
The hostess looked up at you, smiling. She was cute and short, her chocolate brown hair cut into a shoulder-length bob. She wore a black tee shirt with cap sleeves and black slacks. She smiled up at you as you pulled your phone out to check to see if Seonghwa had texted you.
âCan I help you?â the hostess asked, drawing your attention away from your screen that had no missed notifications.Â
âIâm supposed to be meeting someone,â you explained as you moved closer to the host stand to allow people to pass you.
âDid you have a reservation?â the hostess asked. You noticed a black rectangular name tag with gold lettering that read her name was Jess.Â
âUh, Iâm not sure, actually,â you said. âI have a date and he didnât tell me if he made a reservation. Could I look around and see if heâs here already?âÂ
Jess smiled and nodded, returning her attention to the guest book in front of her as your eyes swept the room. It wasnât large but it was certainly cozy. Three clear glass vases of different heights sat in the middle of each table with floating tealights. The overhead lighting was recessed into the ceiling and dimmed to create a more warm and inviting atmosphere.
Your eyes swept over the patrons until you reached the bar and your heart skipped a beat.
âHeâs here. Heâs actually here.â
You noticed Seonghwa sitting at the bar, his jacket slung over the back of his stool as he nursed a class of what you could assume was whiskey based on the color. You turned to Jess. âI found him,â you announced softly. âHeâs at the bar.â
Jess looked up and followed your line of sight before smiling. âAhh, him,â she said, glancing at the guest book. âYour table should be ready in a few minutes,â she added, looking back up at you.Â
âThank you,â you said before making your way over to the bar, heart hammering in your chest with each stride.
Seonghwa had certainly dressed up, making you glad you had as well. Most of the patrons in the restaurant had dressed up and you felt like you didnât stand out too much. You cleared your throat as you stopped beside Seonghwa and he looked up.
His face lit up as he took in your form. âYou made it,â he said as you set your bag on the bar and climbed up into the stool next to him. âWhatâre you drinking?â he asked. You glanced at the bar and took notice of all the alcohol bottles.Â
âOh itâs fine,â you finally said. âI donât really drink,â you added.
Seonghwa smiled and nodded. âWell, if youâd like a non-alcoholic cocktail, order whatever youâd like,â he said as he lifted his glass, downing the rest of his drink. As he set the glass down and nodded to the bartender, you decided maybe one drink wouldnât be so bad.Â
If anything, it might help you loosen up. Your shoulders felt tense and you knew it was because you were nervous. You were here, at this upscale Italian restaurant, with quite possibly the most attractive man youâd ever laid your eyes on. For some reason, heâd asked you out.Â
âActually,â you started as the bartender set a new drink in front of your date. Seonghwa looked up to meet your gaze.
âMaybe a glass of wine,â you suggested. Seonghwa looked up at the bartender.Â
âWhat options do you have?â he asked.Â
âSomething red and semi-sweet,â you added. The bartender nodded and moved to get your glass.Â
âYou like semi-sweet reds?â Seonghwa asked, his lips pulled into an uneven smirk.
You nodded. âYeah, I like a lot of dolce wines,â you admitted. âI donât drink often, but when I do, itâs usually something like Roscato â rosso dolce,â you added. Seonghwa chuckled under his breath as he picked up his drink and took a sip. The bartender returned with your glass of wine and set it in front of you.
âDid I say something funny?â you asked, pulling the glass of wine closer. Seonghwa shook his head.
âNo, not funny,â he explained. âItâs just a coincidence. A friend of mine asked me for the name of a wine we tried at a restaurant on my last trip to visit him and it was Roscato,â he continued, looking up to meet your gaze. âRosso dolce,â he added.
Your lips parted and you let out a short, soft laugh. âOh,â you replied as you raised your glass.
âThat is a coincidence.â
An hour later, you were sitting at a small table in the corner by the last window, having shared some appetizer whose name you couldnât pronounce and an empty bowl of spaghetti aglio e olio sitting before you as Seonghwa looked at the dessert menu. âDo you want to try the tiramisu?â Seonghwa asked as you took a sip of your third glass of wine.
âDo you want to share it?â you offered.Â
Seonghwa glanced up at you, an amused look in his eye, like some unspoken joke that only he seemed to be privy to. âSure,â he finally answered, looking back down at the menu and allowing you to breathe easier.
The server finally returned and Seonghwa asked for a tiramisu to split as you finished your glass.
âWould you like more wine, miss?â the server asked and you contemplated for a moment and then nodded.Â
Before the server could walk away, Seonghwa stopped him. âCould you bring another glass and the rest of the bottle, please?â he asked. The server nodded and walked away to put in your order.
You stared at him as he took a sip of his water. âThe whole bottle?â you asked, biting back the urge to laugh.Â
Seonghwa shrugged. âIâm sure thereâs only a couple more glasses left in that bottle anyway,â he said, the tone of his voice teasing.
âSo,â you started, catching Seonghwaâs attention. âFlowers?â you asked.
He smiled, chuckling light as he shook his head.
âDonât tell me you think itâs weird,â he said softly and your smile faded.
âWhat?â you asked softly. âNo. I think itâs great actually.â
Seonghwa looked up to meet your gaze. âItâs refreshing to meet a guy whoâs into flowers. Not a lot of guys know the difference between the meaning of a red rose and a yellow one,â you added, smiling when Seonghwa stifled a laugh.
âHave you had a guy buy you yellow roses?â he asked incredulously. You nodded and he went into another fit of giggles. âYellow roses⌠my god.â
When his laughter had subsided, he cleared his throat. âIâve always loved flowers,â he explained.
âMy parents loved gardening,â he continued. âIt was a normal part of my childhood. I learned about caring for and growing flowers and the language of flowers at a young age. Iâve always been surrounded by gardening.â
You leaned forward, resting your chin in your palm as he spoke, a smile on your lips.
âWhen I was a teenager, I actually wanted to be an athlete,â he added, absentmindedly playing with the rim of his empty whiskey glass. âI fell in love with volleyball and wanted to pursue it in college. I actually even started pursuing volleyball at the collegiate level,â he continued.
A smile crossed his face as he reminisced. âI met some of my best friends playing volleyball,â he added.
His smile fell slightly, no doubt a painful memory coming to the forefront of his mind.
âAnd then my grandmother died.â
Your smile fell and you felt your heart tug. You reached across the table with your free hand, placing it over his. âIâm sorry,â you said softly. Seonghwa smiled, moving his hand under yours to take your hand in his.Â
âItâs been a long time,â he started. âBut thank you.â
He held your hand as he continued his story.
âHer death made me rediscover a passion and appreciation for flowers,â he continued. âWe had the most beautiful arrangements at her funeral. It made me think âI could do that. I could make floral arrangements.â So, I did.â
âI went back to school, changed my major, and started taking flower arranging classes. I got my degree in business administration and started arranging flowers in my parentsâ house until I had saved enough to purchase a store front.â
You watched him speak, a certain fondness in your heart as he talked so earnestly. âI also chose to move from the city and I found this place while looking, falling in love with the small town atmosphere. I love being able to walk to everything like I did in the city but there arenât as many people here,â he added.
âIâve been here and had my shop for four years now and I wouldnât change a single thing about my life,â he finished, looking up at you with a smile on his face.Â
You opened your mouth to respond but the server returned at that moment, setting a single slice of tiramisu down before he set down another wine glass and the opened bottle of wine. âAnything else I can get you?â he asked, looking between the two of you as Seonghwa lifted the bottle.Â
âNo, thank you,â Seonghwa answered, glancing at you as he started to pour some wine into the new glass with a wink.
The server took that as his cue to leave, allowing Seonghwa to sit up straight and pour wine into your glass. You thanked him and looked down at the dessert. âHave you ever had tiramisu?â Seonghwa asked as he picked up his fork. You shook your head.
âWell, Iâve had those store made ones, nothing like this though,â you replied, picking up your own dessert fork.Â
âLadies first,â Seonghwa said, gesturing to the cake.Â
You glanced at it and back to him. âNo, itâs okay, you can have the first bite,â you offered. Seonghwa chuckled lightly, taking his fork and slicing off a corner of the cake.
He brought it up and moved the fork towards you. âI insist,â he said softly. Your cheeks grew warm at the show of affection. Youâd never been on a date where someone fed you and it felt exceedingly intimate.
And you liked it.
You parted your lips, allowing Seonghwa to guide the fork into your mouth. Youâd had tiramisu before but this was unlike anything youâd had. It tasted like heaven. You swallowed, acutely aware of Seonghwaâs gaze on your face.
âItâs good,â you said softly.Â
Seonghwaâs eyes darted down to your lips before he reached up with his free hand, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. âYou had some cream,â he muttered, bringing his hand to his mouth and licking off the cream. The cream that had been on your lip.
You were suddenly overcome with the urge to smear cream all over your lips if it meant he would clean it off with his tongue.
âWhoa,â you thought to yourself as you took another bite of cake with your own fork. âWhere did that come from?âÂ
âCan I ask you something?â you said suddenly, looking up to meet Seonghwaâs curious gaze.
âOf course,â he said, licking his lips and taking a sip of his wine.
âDo you have a favorite flower?â you asked.
Seonghwa hesitated as he contemplated his answer before smiling, a soft chuckle escaping him.
âWhite lilies,â he answered. You felt your lips pull into a smile.
âWhite lilies?â you asked as you took another bite of the tiramisu. Seonghwa nodded, watching as you licked your lips. âWhy?â
He set his fork down and leaned forward, resting his hand on his knuckles, fixing you with a knowing smirk only he seemed to be the only one in the know.
âI think white lilies are pretty. Lilies in general are very beautiful flowers. The splayed open petals, the way they curl back and the various colors. Tiger lilies are also very beautiful but thereâs just something about the white ones,â he explained.
You took another bite. âWhat do white lilies mean,â you asked suddenly, looking up at him, âin the language of flowers?âÂ
Seonghwa fixed you with a peculiar look. His expression hardened slightly and you feared for a moment that youâd upset him but as quickly as his expression changed, it shifted again.
âPurity and chastity,â Seonghwa answered. Your cheeks grew warm under the gaze he was giving you. Something had snapped in him and the look he was giving you now was sending chills up your spine, a surge of arousal pulsing through your body and you had to physically force yourself to look away.
âPurity and chastity, huh?â
Between the two of you, the cake vanished in no time and you polished off the bottle of wine not long after with small talk about the food, the setting, and work.
âSo,â you said as you stepped out onto the sidewalk, Seonghwa following. You tied your coat closed and looked down the street towards the bus stop. âWait,â you said, checking the time. âOh. Oh no.â
âShit,â you hissed, feeling your heart sink.Â
âWhat?â Seonghwa asked.Â
âI missed the last bus,â you said, mentally facepalming yourself for being so absentminded.Â
âI could walk you,â Seonghwa offered.Â
You smiled up at him. âItâs not that,â you explained, glancing down at your feet.
Seonghwa followed your line of sight and noticed the shoes. âOh,â he said softly before looking around.
âWell, we could walk,â he suggested as he slipped his hands into his coat pocket. âAnd if your feet start to hurt, I could always carry you,â he added with a smile. You let out a laugh and looked down the street towards your place.
âOkay,â you said softly. Seonghwa offered his arm, keeping his hand in his pocket and you took the offer, slipping your hand between his arm and side and started to walk with him.
âI didnât say it sooner,â he started as you walked, the sounds behind you starting to die down as you walked away from the line of shops. âBut you look gorgeous.âÂ
Your cheeks started to heat up at his compliment and you nibbled on your bottom lip. âThank you,â you said softly.
Silence fell over the two of you as you walked down the street, but it was a comfortable silence. You wondered what he was thinking and where things would go from here. Would he walk you to your door, kiss you goodnight? Would he want to come in? Did you want him to come in?
Your thoughts were interrupted by Seonghwaâs voice.
âHowâre your feet doing?â he asked, his tone light.
You smiled, glancing up at him. âTheyâre okay,â you replied.Â
âAre you sure?â he asked, slowing to a stop.
âI could still carry you.â
You laughed softly, lightly hitting his arm and continued walking. âActually,â you said, stopping and letting go of his arm to lean down and carefully remove your shoes. âIâll just go barefoot.â
Seonghwa chuckled as you collected your shoes and stood upright. Seonghwa held out his hand and your heart skipped a beat. âLet me carry them for you,â he said. You were about to protest but he took them anyway before offering his arm again.
You thanked him softly and the two of you continued walking. âBetter?â he asked, looking down at you. You nodded, the cool pavement felt good against your feet that were starting to ache and burn from wearing the pumps.Â
âMuch,â you replied.
The walk didnât take too long and soon, you were climbing the steps to your apartment building.
You turned to Seonghwa and smiled, taking back your shoes. âThank you,â you said, carefully putting your shoes back on. Seonghwa smiled at you, hands tucked into his pockets. Silence filled the space between you before you spoke, apparently at the same time as Seonghwa.
âDo you want to come up?â
âI should probably get going.â
You felt your heart sink slightly. âOh.â
âIâd love to,â Seonghwa started. âBut I have a lot of stuff to get done tomorrow.â
You nodded, watching as his eyes dipped to look at your lips and back up. âYes. Please just kiss me.â
You started to lean in only for Seonghwa to clear his throat. âIâll wait for you to go in.â
â...what?â
âO-okay,â you said softly, turning to put the code to your building in. Once the door was opened, you turned to Seonghwa. âAre you sure you donât want to come up?â you asked softly.Â
Seonghwa smiled. âAnother time,â he said, and it sounded like a promise.
That seemed to calm your nerves, but you were still put off that he didnât even want to kiss you goodnight. This was the first time a man hadnât tried to get himself invited to your apartment.
âWell,â you hesitated. âGoodnight?â
Seonghwa nodded, a smile still on his lips. âGoodnight, Y/N.â
You made your way inside and up the steps to your door, unlocking and letting yourself in. As you removed your coat and shoes, you felt as if in a daze. You walked over to the kitchen to get a glass of water, chugging half of it as you stared at the wall before turning to face the rest of your apartment, holding the half empty glass to your chest as the realization dawned on you.
âWhat the fuck?â
Seonghwa arrived home and immediately hopped into the shower to relieve the erection heâd been sporting for the last two hours since you walked into the restaurant. He wondered if you knew the effect you had on him. Had you worn the white, form fitting dress on purpose?
If so, why? It was like you were unknowingly torturing him.
The way the dress hugged your curves, the hem reaching to the middle of your thighs. The sweetheart neckline accentuating your bust, showing off your collar. Multiple times Seonghwa had fought the urge to drag you to the bathroom and bend you over the sink, eager to stuff you full of his painfully hard cock.
He let out a hiss, dropping his head as his hand moved over his cock quickly, imagining you kneeling in front of him in that white dress. âFuck,â he cursed, his orgasm washing over him under the hot stream of water as he imagined releasing on your chest instead of on the shower wall.
He was growing tired of this. Coming home almost every day after interacting with you to relieve himself in the shower just so he could go about the rest of his evening. He was going to have to do something about it eventually. Whether that be finally sleeping with you or finding release elsewhere, he couldnât fully satisfy his urges with masturbation alone anymore.
He quickly cleaned off the shower wall and himself before drying off and getting ready for bed.
As he lay in the sheets, he cursed himself for not taking your offer to go up to your place but he knew if he had, it might have been too much for you and he refused to do anything that would frighten you. No, if he was going to sleep with you, he was going to need to take it slowly.
You deserved much more than that.
Sleep didnât come easily to him that night and he continued to toss and turn throughout the night until he finally settled into restless slumber.
The next morning, he had a plethora of chores to get done, trying to keep himself occupied as he got through them one at a time.
Each time your face invaded his thoughts, he cursed himself for saying no but ultimately he knew it was the right thing to do. Regardless of how much he wanted you, he wouldnât give that easily into his primal desires. No, he had to do this the right way.
And he would.
ââââââââââââââââââ
Work for Seonghwa had gotten hectic over the next few days, booking events and preparing for a large wedding heâd booked a few months prior. Heâd spent a lot of free time in the shop, cultivating the white flowers he had in stock and had been growing specifically for the wedding.
It was tedious work that kept his hands busy but his mind still wandered.
He hadnât been in the cafe as often as before and he felt bad about that, hoping you werenât taking it as a sign he wasnât interested. He always made sure to let you know his interest was still there when he did visit and he couldnât help but enjoy the way your face lit up every time you found him standing at your counter.
The innocence in your expression was the reason he was distancing himself but at the same time, it was what drew him in. The need to corrupt you and mold you to his fantasies. He knew it was wrong. You werenât some art medium to bend and shape. You were a person with your own feelings and interests. He knew that and thatâs why he had to be good.
He had to behave.Â
For the fifth time that morning since visiting the cafe, he shoved thoughts of you aside as he worked, pruning and clipping. He couldnât afford to be distracted with thoughts of you right now. He needed to fucking focus and he couldnât do that when all he could think about was you on your back â
âEnough already!â he snapped, slamming down the shears in his hand against the work table. He stepped back, running his fingers through his hair and taking a few deep breaths.
Oh, you were going to be the death of him for sure.
It had been almost two weeks since your date with Seonghwa and the aftermath was nothing short of strange. Through text he seemed perfectly normal and when he came into the cafe, he was the same as heâd ever been, flirting with you every time.
At least up until a few days leading up to where you were now.
The last couple days, his texts fell off or were short and you feared the worst.
Heâd taken you on a date and hated it.
You kept replaying the date in your mind and couldnât exactly pinpoint any moment that might have put him off. Had you done something? Said something?
As you mulled over everything, it dawned on you that whatever it was, it had to have happened after you left the restaurant. He wouldnât have fed you like that if he wasnât into you, right? Like, not everyone did shit like that.Â
You thought maybe you taking your shoes off was what turned him off but then he offered to carry your shoes like some lead actor in a Korean drama. He wouldnât have done that if he didnât like you still? So from that to reaching your door, what could have happened?
You scribbled on a blank notepad as you thought over it again and again until your brain hurt and you slammed the pen on your desk. You covered your face with your hands, pressing your palms into your eyes until stars appeared behind your eyelids.
You groaned loudly and let out a frustrated growl.
âIt just doesnât make any sense!â you hissed, dropping your hands into your lap and looked down at your desk, blinking away the stars. You glanced at the clock beside you that read 12:01 am and decided to call it a night and pushed your chair back. âFuck this,â you grumbled as you turned off the desk light and made your way to your bedroom.
You had work in the morning and you couldnât spend any more time on this tonight.
Letting out a sigh, you looked across the small square at the flower shop. The open sign was off, indicating that the show wasnât open which was unusual for Seonghwa. He rarely ever closed the shop and you feared that maybe he might be sick or even worse. Unfortunately, you were currently on the clock and couldnât leave the shop. Not to mention it was busier than one person could handle so you really couldnât leave, even for a short break to check the shop and see how Seonghwa was doing.
âY/N?â a voice pulled you out of your thoughts.Â
You turned to your co-worker, an apologetic smile on your face. âSorry, Addie, Iâm really out of it today.â Addie gave you a small smile, knowing you werenât normally like this and for you to be distracted, something really had to be wrong.
âYou know,â she said softly, approaching you as she stopped sweeping. âIf something is bothering you, you know you can talk to me.âÂ
You offered as sincere a smile as you could muster. âThanks, Addie,â you replied. âIâm okay though. Just lost in thought is all.â
Youâd die before you told her what those thoughts were.
Sure, you were partially worried about Seonghwa but part of you was lingering on what could have happened the other day. The night after your date. The night you had expected him to come into your place but instead he left you standing on your front step with not even a kiss goodbye. You had spent part of the night wondering if youâd done something wrong. The other part of the night you had spent wondering what might have happened had Seonghwa kissed you and came in like you planned on inviting him to do.
To say you wanted him was a downright understatement. You needed him. There was just something so incredibly sexy about him. Something romantic as well, and as demonstrated by the date you shared. But under all of the sweetness, the sex appeal, there was something more dangerous and yet you couldnât put your finger on it exactly. You just knew Seonghwa was everything and more you wanted in a man and you needed him in the worst way possible.
To distract yourself, you chose to take orders while Addie fulfilled them. Talking to the customers and ringing up their orders didnât take much brain power but it still kept your mind from wandering, especially at work which was a dangerous combination when the object of your current fantasies was across the square in his closed shop, working diligently on a large order.
Seonghwa had been working tirelessly on this order for a wedding. It was coming up, heâd booked the order months ago as was common practice for weddings. He had centerpieces, bouquets, and other floral decorations and arrangements to make and it had been taking up most of his time since the date which allowed him the time to focus on something other than his intense primal desire to bend you over the counter of his shop and rail you into next week.
Ever since leaving you on the doorstep to your place without even a goodnight kiss, heâd been beating himself up but he knew that if he had kissed you, it would have led to more and while he did want that, god did he want that, he didnât want to scare you away. He wanted â no â he needed you in the worst ways possible but he couldnât scare you off like that. Not when he wanted to do things to you he only ever dreamt of and dream he did.
That night and almost every night since, heâs dreamt up different ways to take you. In his shop, in the cafe when all others have gone home for the night, in his bed, in his kitchen, on the counter, everywhere. All he could think of was you, you, you. In every position possible. On your back, on your knees, on your stomach. He wanted to corrupt you so badly that youâd never want to be with another person but him.
It invaded his every waking moment and sometimes even work couldnât stop the fantasies.
He was a man obsessed and his obsession could scare you away and he didnât want that. You deserved more. You deserved to be courted, properly, but goddamnit all if he didnât want to say fuck the rules, and just do what he wanted but you were far too precious. Too pure. His white lily.
He couldnât do that. He wouldnât do that. Not to you.
He would do this the right way. He had to.
Seonghwa cursed as he poked his finger with yet another boutonniere pin, dropping the small bundle of flowers onto the work table and moving to clean the prick which started bleeding. These damn things would be the end of him. Why couldnât he just use clips instead of fucking straight pins? âOutrageous.âÂ
Once he cleaned the tip of his finger and it had stopped bleeding, he put a bandaid on it. He had twelve of these damn things to make. Who the hell has twelve groomsmen? At least the corsages were easy. Seonghwa picked up the boutonniere and started working again, cursing yet again when he stabbed himself. He groaned loudly, grateful heâd closed the shop for a few days to work on this order.
It was going to be a long night.
You called out a goodbye to your coworker as you headed out the front door. As you entered the mainly empty courtyard, you chanced a glance over at the floral shop. A single light from the back was flooding into the shop but the open sign remained flipped, as it had been all day.
âSo he is in there,â you thought as you hiked the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder, trying not to wallow in the doubt and self-pity swirling in the pit of your stomach. Why hasn't he answered your texts? You were certain heâd seen them or at least you hoped he had. His read receipts were off so you couldnât be exactly sure if he had seen them.
The walk home took longer than usual due to your preoccupied state. Youâd almost run into someone at least three times, muttering an apology before hurrying on your way. Thankfully you made it home without further incident. Upon looking at the stoop to your front door, memories of that night came flooding back, when Seonghwa took you on what was probably the nicest date youâd ever been on only to leave you hanging at your front door.
As you climbed the steps, you fished out your keys and unlocked the door, letting yourself in. Stepping over the mail sitting on your welcome rug, you shut the door, locked it, and removed your shoes before bending down and grabbing the pile of envelopes.
You shuffled through them as you stood by the door before removing your coat, hanging it up and heading into the kitchen where you set your bag and keys on the counter and continued to look through your mail. Most of it was bills, advertisements, and a few card companies offering their services that you immediately tossed in the trash bin until a plain white envelope with a noticeable handwritten script caught your attention.
You set the rest of the mail down and looked over the one in your hands. Your name was written on the front but nothing else. No address and more importantly no return sender was listed. You hesitated, briefly remembering about mail bombs but snorted, amused at yourself for even considering a notion.
Why would someone send you a bomb?
You grabbed a knife from the nearby block and slit open the envelope, setting the knife on the counter and pulling out a few folded sheets of paper from inside. There weren't many pages, maybe just a few, but you opened them, reading the first line of the first page and felt your heart skip a beat.
Your breaths came out in ragged pants as you read through the letter, rereading a couple parts. Even though it was just words on paper, you could imagine the depth of his longing as he wrote the words. You let out a sigh of relief. He was just busy with work but he also didnât want to scare you off, whatever that meant.Â
It made you wonder just what he could possibly mean.Â
âI can be kind of intense at times.â Intense how?
You carefully folded up the letter and placed the pages back into the envelope and set it down on the counter. âSaturday,â you whispered, checking the calendar hanging on the wall above your trash bin. That was only a few days away. Should you tell him you got his letter? Should you just show up?
You contemplated with yourself, the soft ticking of the clock on your wall punctuating the silence. You grabbed your bag, dug for your phone and pulled the device out, unlocking the screen and pulling up your message thread with Seonghwa.
You nibbled at your bottom lip, pulling it between your teeth and mulling over what to say before settling with a simple text.
You: I got your letter. I agree, I think we should talk face to face.
You pressed send before sending another one immediately after.
You: Iâll see you Saturday
You pressed send and set your phone down, breathing heavily as you stared at the screen.
The typing indicator appeared quickly and a reply came through just as fast. You peered down at the phone, reading the message Seonghwa had sent back.
Seonghwa: Saturday then đŽ
When Seonghwa had dropped the unmarked letter through your mail slot the other morning, he never expected you to text him though he wasnât complaining. At least he knew he hadnât scared you off with the letter or with his words. He now only had to face you. Heâd finished the last of the floral arrangements for the wedding last night and was currently in the van, making his way to the venue across town.
This wedding was a huge event. It was being held at an old rustic farm turned into an event venue. The roads were paved up until the turn onto the dirt road. Thankfully Seonghwa was only providing the flowers and not the containers. The venue had all of that.
Turning off the dirty farm road and onto the paved winding driveway made him breathe a little easier as he checked the time 11:41 am. He was well on time and would have from now until three to help set up and get all the arrangements in their designated vases and places.
Afterwards, he could focus on what he wanted to say to you on the drive back.Â
The farmhouse came into view and Seonghwa let out a small huff. It was much prettier in person than it had been on the website. The house itself was an off white color with dark midnight blue shutters. The front door was the same dark blue with a porch wrapping around the bottom level.
The entire house was three levels. All the windows looked like the original ones and it was clear to him that someone had spent a lot of time and money to renovate this place, putting a lot of care into it. He continued up the winding driveway, noticing the white barn standing some yards from the main house. There were white and silver balloons lining the last 20 or so feet of the drive.
Seonghwa carefully pulled up beside the house and parked the van before opening the door and getting out. He saw a lot of people working, carrying tables, chairs, bundles of fabric with silk bows. Some were dressed in uniforms and some in dresses and button downs with slacks. Seonghwa looked around for someone in charge before he saw a woman carrying a clipboard and directing three people carrying a large round table.
He approached her, calling out and catching her attention. She was a shorter woman, maybe around his motherâs age. She wore a nice light pink dress suit and wore black thin framed glasses. She eyed him up and down, lifting her glasses to get a better look.
âCan I help you?â she asked, polite but clearly in a hurry.Â
âIâm the florist,â Seonghwa announced. âI have the arrangements and just need to know where to go.Â
The look on her face shifted from annoyed to beaming in a split second and it took all of Seonghwaâs willpower not to burst into laughter.
âOh perfect, youâre right on time!â she exclaimed. âWeâre setting the ceremony up in the house.â
Seonghwa nodded and moved to follow her so she could show him exactly where everything went. She pointed at the planters marking the end of the aisle where the bride would enter.Â
âAnd then we have a fridge to keep the pieces for the reception fresh,â she added pointing to the kitchen area. âDo you need assistance?â she asked, turning to look up at him.Â
Seonghwa nodded. âItâs just me, so any help would be greatly appreciated.â The woman, who Seonghwa assumed to be the planner, called over to two people, beckoning them over.Â
âWould you please help this young man with the flowers,â she asked. The two nodded and followed Seonghwa out to the van.Â
âI have everything labeled,â Seonghwa explained as he fished his keys out. âCenterpieces, boutonnieres, corsages, bouquets, and the large pieces are for the planters inside,â he continued as they reached the back of the van and he unlocked the doors.
Unloading the flowers wasnât an arduous task especially since Seonghwa took it upon himself to label everything. It was just a matter of moving them inside and then separating the floral arrangements. âHere is the brideâs bouquet,â he said, unwrapping the plastic from the stems and turning to the planner.Â
âI have twelve more,â he added, nodding towards the counter where twelve smaller bouquets lay alongside the corsages.Â
âAnd the boutonnieres?â the planner asked as she scribbled on her clipboard.Â
âAll here,â Seonghwa said, gesturing to the counter. âTwelve boutonnieres with pins. Stabbed myself a fair bit making those,â he added with a chuckle. The woman did not laugh.
âTough crowd.â
Once everything was accounted for, Seonghwa helped set up the arrangements for the ceremony, placing the large bouquets in the planters, delivering the bouquets and corsages to the bridal suite, accepting the compliments from the bridesmaids and bride herself who was in stark contrast from the planner, extremely sweet and thankful. The last duty he had was to deliver the boutonnieres to the groomsmen and groom which was a far more lackluster affair than delivering to the bridal suite.
Once he was done, he started down the steps and over to the planner to secure the final payment. Heâd agreed to take the payment in installments. First was the deposit followed by the first payment and now he needed the final payment. He cleared his throat as she finished speaking with one of the venue owners and she turned to him. âAll flowers accounted for and delivered,â he said softly. The wedding planner stared at him blankly before he sighed.
âThe final payment?â he said in a hushed voice. The plannerâs eyes widened before she nodded.Â
âRight,â she said quietly. âOf course.âÂ
She beckoned him to follow her and led him through the house and out one of the many side doors. Seonghwa followed her down the steps and over towards the barn where a man in a suit stood, talking to a few others.
The planner waved him over and discussed the topic of payment and the man nodded, pulling out his wallet. Seonghwa thanked him as the last installment was made and thanked the planner as they walked back towards the house. With his job done, Seonghwa got back in the van, taking a quick look behind to make sure nothing got left before backing up and making his way back to the dirt road.
He had about an hour until he got back to town and another 20 before he got to the shop. He checked the clock on the dash to see the time was now 2:30 pm. Time sure does fly.Â
Now it was just him and his thoughts until then.
You glanced at your watch. It was 4:07 pm and Seonghwa was nowhere to be found. It was only seven minutes past four so you werenât going to just turn around and go home. Youâd give him another few minutes before you called it.
He had said any time after four and it was after four. You pulled out your phone to see if heâd called and you maybe missed it but there was nothing. No calls, no texts except the one from the other day. The day youâd gotten the letter.
Seonghwa: Saturday then đŽ
You sighed as a breeze blew through the square, pulling your coat tighter around your body. âCome on, Seonghwa,â you thought as you looked around. You glanced down, inspecting your outfit as a leaf landed on your knee, clinging to the material of your stocking.
It had been unseasonably cold for spring and all leaves and flowers that have been trying to grow have had a hard time braving the elements as winter tried to hold on. New green leaves quickly withered and died, the temperatures not staying warm long enough to nurture the growth.
Cherry blossoms hadnât even sprouted due to the cooler temperatures and rainy weather. Spring was always among your favorite times of the year but sometimes, it just didnât feel like spring and felt more like autumn or even winter at times.
You were startled out of your thoughts by the sound of the door next to where you were sitting opened, the bell ringing and making you jump and turn to find Seonghwa looking at you with as much surprise as you felt. You had expected him to come to the front door, not from inside the store.Â
âSorry,â he said immediately as you stood up, smoothing down your skirt. âGot held up by a sheep jam of all things,â he added with a smirk before noticing your cold-tinged face, his smile immediately falling. âOh, have you been waiting long?âÂ
You shook your head. âNo,â you said breathlessly.Â
âLiar. Itâs been almost 30 minutes.âÂ
Seonghwa checked his watch and then looked up and smiled at you.Â
âHere,â he said softly, gesturing for you to enter.
You crossed the threshold, the warmth of the shop offering you sanctuary from the plummeting temperatures. Seonghwa shut the door, turning the lock in place before turning to look at you. âSo you, uh, got my letter?â he asked as he led the way through the shop.Â
âYeah,â you murmured, following him into the backroom of the shop. Youâd never seen this part of his shop before and it was like something out of a romance movie.
The room was rectangular with a short wall against the shop. The walls were lined with tiered planter boxes, built into the wooden wall, an array of flowers growing in each box, various colors and species. The back wall faced the forested area behind the shops. Glass windows dominated the wall allowing in as much natural light as possible.
In the middle of the room stood a butcher block work table with various tools for cutting, pruning, gardening, and what you assumed was flower arranging. The wall that the room shared with the main shop room had built-in-storage drawers under another flat wooden surface with various fertilizers, soil bags, and gardening solutions.
Hanging up next to the work table by the doorway was a garden hose, coiled and hanging neatly on its hanger, one end connected to a spigot and the other with a hose attachment. Seonghwa walked over to the work table in the center of the room and started cleaning up.
âI had some last minute adjustments to make before I delivered the order for the wedding,â he explained as he used a small hand brush to sweep any dirt, petals, and other debris off the table and onto the floor.Â
âI didnât have a chance to clean up before I left, so I just want to get this swept up and then we can talk, if thatâs okay?â he asked, glancing up at you as you removed your coat and hung it along with your bag up by the door next to his.
âI donât mind,â you said as you grabbed a broom and walked over. âAs long as you let me help you.â
Seonghwa gave you a soft smile and nodded, silently thanking you as you started to sweep up, collecting all the dirt, petals, leaves, and other debris from around the room while he gathered his tools, cleaned them and put them away. You opened the back door and brushed all the debris out the back. It was all dirt, petals, leaves, and twigs, so it should go back to nature, right?
When you shut the door, Seonghwa was wiping down the wooden work table surface. You returned the broom back to its spot by the door and turned to Seonghwa, your hand lingering on the mop. âDo you need to mop as well?â Seonghwa looked up at you and shook his head.
âNo,â he answered. âI do all my deep cleaning on Mondays,â he explained as he carried the rag over to a small hamper and dropped it in.Â
âSo,â he said, turning to you. âI guess we should talk.âÂ
You nodded, watching as he washed his hands at the small sink next to the built-in work table.
âYou said in your letter,â you started, reaching into your bag and pulling out the envelope, not noticing the look of surprise on Seonghwaâs face.Â
âYou brought it with you?â he asked and you looked up as you pulled the pages out.Â
âI wanted to reference it directly instead of relying on my memory,â you answered as you opened the letter and cleared your throat.
âThat you wanted to clear up your emotions,â you started, glancing at the first page and then back up at Seonghwa as he turned to lean against the work table, crossing his arms over his chest. âYet, it doesnât really feel like itâs cleared up at all,â you said, looking back down.
âIsnât it?â Seonghwa asked, drawing your attention back to him. âI think I made them perfectly clear, baeknari,â he said softly, using the nickname heâd taken to calling you. Glancing down quickly, you re-read through part of the first page.
âI said that I had a great time with you,â Seonghwa started when you didnât speak again. âI also recall stating that I like you far more than you seem to think,â he added with a smirk. You swallowed thickly. âAnd Iâm pretty sure I also said that I think you underestimate my attraction to you,â he continued.
You glanced up at him. âWhat do you mean by that?â you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Seonghwa merely smiled.Â
âJust that. Itâs more than a simple attraction, my dear,â he answered. âIâm not just attracted to you.â Your heart skipped a beat in your chest. âMore than attraction?â
âYou also said you think about me more than any man would normally admit,â you said, trying to avoid the look Seonghwa was giving you. It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, goosebumps erupting over your skin under your sweater despite the warmth of the greenhouse.
âI do,â Seonghwa admitted. You glanced up at him.Â
âHow so?â you asked, your curiosity piqued.Â
Seonghwa let out a chuckle, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. âI think about you almost all the time,â he admitted, shocking you. âI think about you when I wake up. I think about you when I come to work and I see the cafe. Every time I look out the shop window and see that cafe, I think about you,â he continued.
âI think about you when I go home. I think about you when I go to bed. You occupy every thought.â
Your heart had started to race, beating erratically in your chest as he spoke.
âI think about you when I eat breakfast. And lunch. And dinner,â he continued, looking up to meet your eyes. His heated gaze sent a surge of arousal through your body. It was such a dark look. Like prey caught in the gaze of a predator. It was almost primal.
âI think about you when Iâm driving; when Iâm workingâŚâ he trailed off, keeping your gaze locked in his.
âWhen I shower.â
That seemed to do it, a fresh wave of heat coursing through your veins, arousal pooling in your panties.
âWh-when you shower?â you asked, voice cracking slightly. Seonghwa nodded wordlessly.
âI told you,â he started. âI think about you all the time. More than could be considered normal. You shouldnât occupy my every waking thought and yet you do. Maybe Iâm obsessed, but itâs not normal to think about someone as much as I think about you.â
âObsessed?â you whispered, drawing his attention.Â
âDonât worry,â he said, shifting his weight again, moving his hands to rest against the edge of the counter. âI know whatâs acceptable and whatâs not. And I would never do anything to purposely make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.â
You glanced down at the letter in your hand, scanning the words on the sheet before looking back up.Â
âYou said you canât write about the things you think about,â you started. Seonghwa clicked his tongue, standing up and walking over to take the sheet.Â
âNo,â he said softly. âI corrected myself and said I shouldnât write them,â he explained.Â
âI can definitely write them down,â he continued, handing the sheet back to you. He moved back over to the work table, putting space between the two of you.
âBut youâd prefer to say them in person?â you added, looking back up at him. Seonghwa nodded.
âI do want to say them. I want to tell you everything I think of and everything I want to do to you.â
Your breath caught in your throat, making a small sound which Seonghwa noticed. You busied yourself with his letter, changing the page to scan the next sheet. âYou said you didnât kiss me because if you had, then you âwouldnât have been able to stopâ,â you read.Â
âWouldnât have been able to stop what?â
Seonghwa tilted his head, fixing you with a peculiar look. âMyself, angel. I wouldnât have been able to stop myself,â he answered.Â
âFrom what?â you whispered, feeling heat rising to your cheeks. You werenât dumb. You had an idea of what Seonghwa meant but you wanted to hear him say it.
âFrom following you into your house and doing everything Iâve imagined doing,â he replied, that dark look in his eyes back as he spoke.Â
âAnd what do you imagine doing to me?â you asked softly. Seonghwaâs lips twitched, fighting a smirk before he cleared his throat.
âWould you like me to tell you,â he asked, looking down at the table and back. âOr would you like me to show you?â
You were at a crossroads. If you accepted his offer, it would probably lead to sex which you werenât opposed to. If you declined, where would that lead? Would you leave and never speak to him again?Â
You knew you wanted Seonghwa. He was kind, passionate, ambitious, generous, intelligent, witty, and insanely attractive. You wanted him so bad. So who were you to deny yourself?
Your eyes scanned the letter one last time before folding it, placing the sheets back in the envelope and sliding the letter back into your purse before crossing the room, sliding between Seonghwa and the work table before looking up to meet his gaze.
âYou said youâre afraid of scaring me off,â you started. âIs that right?â
Seonghwa nodded, you noticed how he swallowed. âWhy would I be scared?â you asked softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. Seonghwa leaned into your touch, lips parting as a soft sigh escaped him. Your thumb moved, brushing over his bottom lip.
âBecause,â he started, his breath hot against your skin. âI can be kind ofââ
âIntense?â you asked, smiling when he nodded. âWhat makes you think that would scare me?â
Without warning, Seonghwaâs hands found purchase on your hips, pushing you against the edge of the work table. âIâm not a very sweet or soft lover,â he murmured against your hand. âIâm rough, hard,â he continued, one hand grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to your palm. âUnforgiving.â
You brought your free hand up to run your fingers through his hair before grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging sharply. âAnd who said I am?â you asked softly, enjoying the way he moaned against your hand. He let go of your wrist, fingers skimming your neck lightly.
âYouâre playing a dangerous game, Kitten,â he murmured, eyes scanning up to meet your gaze. âKeep this up and Iâll take you right here.â
You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, forcing his hand against your throat. âDo it, then,â you whispered. Seonghwa hesitated, eyes searching your face. âWhat did you say?â he asked, his voice quiet but clear.
âI said do it,â you repeated. âTake me, Seonghwa. Iâm yours. I always was.â
The next moment, Seonghwaâs lips crashed against yours, one hand firmly on your hip, the other moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as his lips parted, tongue quickly slipping into your mouth, moving against yours. You whimpered against his lips, his mouth swallowing it eagerly.
âGod I would love to take you home,â Seonghwa murmured against your lips, hand still on the back of your neck, holding you in place. âLay you down in my bed and take my time with you like you deserve.âÂ
You felt his other hand slide down your hip to your thigh. âSo why donât you?â you asked, hands moving up his chest to hold onto his shoulders.
âBecause,â he started, gripping your thigh and hiking your knee up to his waist. He guided you to lay back on the work table.Â
âIâm an impatient man,â he continued, his hand sliding down the outside of your thigh to your ass. âAnd I told you Iâm a rough, unforgiving lover.â
You felt him roll his hips into yours grinding his erection into your soaked panties, giving you some slight friction against your aching clit. âAnd you told me to take you right here,â he added, slowly lowering your head to the work table, his hand moving around to ghost over your throat before sliding down your chest, not giving it much attention as he continued to move it lower until he reached the hem of your sweater.Â
âAs cute as this is,â he murmured, pulling at your top. âIt needs to come off.â
You sat up, grabbing the hem of your sweater and pulling it up over your head and dropping it on the table. Underneath you wore a simple ribbed white turtleneck top with short sleeves tucked into your skirt. Seonghwa grabbed at your shirt, leaning over to capture your lips in a heated kiss.
He pushed it up past your chest, hands cupping your breasts firmly but gently. âTake it off,â he ordered. You raised yourself up from the surface of the table to pull the shirt off, letting it fall wherever you dropped it. You were left in your skirt and a lacy lavender bralette with straps crossing over your chest.Â
Seonghwa let out a sigh as he took in your form, eyes shining with lust and another emotion you couldnât exactly place. You suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze and moved your hands to cover yourself but he stopped you, grabbing your wrists and pinning your hands down against the wood.
âDonât you dare,â he growled. âDonât you cover yourself. Iâve wondered for so long what kind of lingerie you wear and to see it now? Donât you dare hide it from me.â He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss against your lips. You sighed out as he left a trail of kisses from your lips across your cheek and down the side of your neck, stopping to nip at the skin above your pulse point.
You let out a moan as his teeth grazed your skin. Even if a mark did or didnât form, youâd still know he was there. Seonghwa continued down your neck, leaving love bites in his wake until he reached your chest. âIâd love to sit here and admire you all night in this,â he said softly, fingers skimming the delicate lace of your bralette. âBut I really want to take it off,â he continued.
You ran your fingers through his hair as he nuzzled your sternum, hands sliding down to your waist. âTake it off,â you whispered. Seonghwa lifted his head to meet your gaze. Heâd barely done anything to you but he looked like he was intoxicated. Drunk off touching you.
âYou want me to do that, blossom?â he asked softly. âYou want me to undress you?âÂ
You nodded shyly, heat rising to your cheeks as he reached up to stroke your cheek. His thumb brushed over your lips like yours had earlier and without prompting, you parted your lips, taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking. Seonghwa let out a groan, his free hand fumbling with the clasp on the front of your bralette and managing to undo it.
Keeping his thumb in your mouth, he pulled you to sit up, pushing the bralette off you and letting it fall onto the wooden surface of the table. You swirled your tongue around his thumb and Seonghwa pulled his hand back before cupping your jaw. âWanna show me what else you can do with that mouth, sweetheart?â You nodded wordlessly as he helped you down from the table.
âOn your knees then, Kitten.â
You slowly lowered yourself down, keeping your eyes on his face. Seonghwa ran his fingers through his hair before cupping your chin. âHave you ever done this before?âÂ
You nodded slowly. âOnce,â you answered. âIâll do my best though.â Seonghwa let out a groan before squeezing your chin gently.
âOpen your mouth, blossom,â he ordered, moving his hands to undo his belt and pants as you kneeled there, sitting on your heels. âTongue out,â he ordered as he moved slowly, sliding his hand into his underwear where your eyes couldnât see. His hand moved inside his boxers at the sight of you on your knees for him.
âCome here,â he said breathlessly. You raised yourself up off your heels, moving your hands up his thighs. Seonghwa pushed his pants and underwear down just enough to pull his cock free, allowing you to see it. It was larger than you expected but it didnât look like it would hurt to take.
The head was bulbous, tip slightly red with a bead of precum.
âOpen your mouth, baby,â Seonghwa said, drawing your attention away from his cock. You opened your mouth again. âTongue,â he added and you obliged, letting your tongue fall from your mouth to make space. âTap my thigh once for yes and twice if itâs too much or you want to stop, okay?â he asked softly. You nodded and waited as he guided the head to your mouth, letting it rest against your tongue.Â
It was salty, no doubt from the precum, as he rubbed the head against your tongue before pushing further into your mouth, inhaling sharply as his cock entered your mouth, your tongue brushing against the underside. âBreathe through your nose,â he instructed. You did as he said and once youâd taken a deep breath, Seonghwa pushed the rest of his cock in until it reached the back of your mouth, stopping just before it entered your throat.
âIâm gonna guide your head, okay?â Seonghwa asked. You tapped his thigh to let him know you were fine. Seonghwa guided your head, making you pull back before pulling you forward. He set a steady pace, making sure to stop before you gagged.
After a couple moments, you didnât need his guidance and started moving on your own, keeping your hands on his thighs, nails raking over the material of his pants. âThatâs it, kitten. Keep going,â he muttered, gently stroking your hair. âJust like that.â
You moaned, taking him as far into your mouth as you could. You noticed how his hips started to follow your mouth, shallowly thrusting. âHold still,â he instructed, placing his hand on the back of your head. He gave you a tentative thrust, gauging your gag reflex. He gave you another, and then another, setting a steady pace of shallow thrusts.
The tip of his cock hit the back of your mouth with a lewd wet sound almost like a gag but you didnât gag. He was testing your limits and it seemed he could hit the back of your mouth without a reaction. You closed your eyes, breathing through your nose as best as you could with each thrust into your mouth. Seonghwa let out a strained grunt and thrust, hard, forcing his cock into your throat briefly making you gag and your body react violently.
He pulled back, as you gasped, coughing. Your cheeks were stained with tears, drool running down your chin and onto your chest. In every sense of the word, you were a mess but to Seonghwa you were a vision. He carefully pulled you to your feet, guiding you back onto the table before flipping your skirt up, exposing your soiled underwear. He tsked softly, looking up at you.
âHow long have you been this wet, sweetheart?â he asked, meeting your gaze.
âA while,â you whispered. Seonghwa sighed and quickly removed your panties, stuffing them into his pocket as he pulled his underwear up to cover his cock.Â
âYou were so good for me,â he murmured, parting your thighs to look down at your sex, arousal smeared all over your lips.
âNow Iâll be good for you,â he added. You propped yourself up to watch as he lowered his head, pressing wet, open mouth kisses along the inside of your thigh, stopping to sink his teeth into your soft skin. You let out a breathy whine as he skipped over your core, kissing up the inside of your other thigh and biting into your skin, leaving small imprints that would eventually fade.
âGive me your hand, blossom,â he said, holding his hand out, palm up. You placed your hand in his and watched curiously as he guided your hand to his head. âYou might want to hold on,â he said with a smirk before dipping his head, spreading your thighs and licking slowly up your slit, pressing his tongue past your folds and finding your clit with relative ease.
Your fingers immediately curled into his hair as you felt some mild relief but as soon as Seonghwa got a taste, it was like a switch was flipped. His fingers dug into your thighs, keeping them parted as he lapped at your cunt greedily, like it was the last meal heâd ever have.
The tip of his tongue slipped into your entrance briefly before gliding back up to tease your clit. You raised your head, propping yourself up on one elbow, keeping a firm grip on his hair and let out a moan when you met his gaze. He flattened his tongue, moving his head from side to side slowly, keeping his eyes on you as he did.Â
Your thighs tried to close but he held them open with a vice like grip. You could feel your orgasm building, bubbling up like carbonation in a bottle of soda that had been shaken up. But before it could explode, Seonghwa pulled back, wiping his lips and chin with the back of his hand.
âSorry, Kitten,â he breathed, leaning over your body, leaving wet kisses up your stomach, stopping at your chest to brush his lips over one of your nipples before parting his lips and swirling his tongue around it. He sucked lightly, letting it fall from his mouth before continuing, kissing up your chest and your neck. âWhen you cum for me for the first time, itâs going to be around my cock,â he whispered in your ear, his hot breath making your shiver.
You heard him messing with his pants, pushing them back down and pulling his cock free.
âI donât have any condoms here,â he muttered, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. âI donât normally fuck pretty little baristas in the backroom of my shop,â he added, a smirk in his tone.Â
âSo Iâm special?â you whispered, breathlessly as he pressed the head of his cock against your leaking entrance.Â
âOh baby, youâre so much more than just special,â he murmured as he rutted against you.
âSuch a pretty little thing. So sweet, and not nearly as innocent as I thought,â he added as the underside of his cock rubbed against your clit. âWill you let me fuck you raw, sweetheart? Or are you too innocent for that? Have you ever been fucked raw?â
You shook your head. âNo, never,â you answered. âNever been fucked raw.â
Seonghwa chuckled, his hot breath tickling your neck. âSo Iâm the first? You have no idea how happy that makes me. Youâll let me be the first, right? Youâll let me fuck you raw, wonât you?â
You nodded fervently, the tip of his cock bumping your clit and making you gasp. âYes, Seonghwa, please. Take me, please. Fuck me please, please,â you pleaded. Seonghwa let out a groan as he slowed his pace, guiding the head of his cock to your hole and pushing it in slowly.
âOh you really want this,â he commented, watching his cock disappear inside you. âSucked my cock in so hungrily. What a greedy little cunt you have,â he murmured, sheathing himself in one fluid motion and rocking your body against the wooden table.Â
âOh fuck, Hwa!â you gasped, one hand gripping the table edge above your head, the other grabbing his shoulder. You were half naked under him and other than his pants being undone and pushed halfway down his thighs, Seonghwa was still fully dressed.
Seonghwa cupped your jaw, squishing your cheeks slightly. âWhat a dirty fucking mouth you have,â he growled, his hips moving, pulling back and snapping forward, thrusting into you harshly. âOpen your mouth, Kitten,â you parted your lips, obeying him. Seonghwa stilled his hips for just a moment, spitting into your mouth before resuming his punishing pace.
The table creaked under you with each thrust, the sound of his skin hitting yours filling the room with the sounds of his cock plunging in and out of your wet hole. Heat spread from your cheeks to your neck and chest as your orgasm approached rapidly.Â
âAre you gonna cum already, Blossom? Iâve barely even fucked you properly,â he chuckled, his tone mocking instead of sweet which you should have expected. He said he was an unforgiving lover.
You whimpered, hand moving up into his hair and gripping it tightly. âPull my hair again baby and Iâll teach you what happens when you canât behave,â he growled, one hand moving to your throat and pinning you down against the table.Â
âWhat will you do?â you challenged.
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, hips snapping against you and rocking the whole table. âTurn you over and pin you down, fuck you until you full of nothing but my cum. Would you like that, petal? You want to be fucked full of my cum until it drips down your legs like a dirty little cumslut?â
You moaned, walls fluttering around his cock as your orgasm drew nearer. âOh, that does it for you, does it? Sweet little Y/N, my own little lily, likes being called a cumslut?â Seonghwa teased, making you moan again as his grip on your throat tightened, restricting the flow of your blood but not your oxygen.
âLikes being choked, likes it when I spit into her mouth, likes being fucked like a bitch in heat in the backroom of my flower shop, you really arenât as innocent as you seem,â he muttered, his hips stuttering momentarily.
âAre you like this with all the guys?â he asked, tightening his grip on your throat. You whimpered, thighs trying to close as his free hand moved, thumb brushing over your clit to send you hurtling towards the edge. âDo you let all the guys have you like this?â
You shook your head, gripping his wrist as the corners of your eyes burned with unshed tears. It felt so fucking good but you were teetering on the edge, unable to full cum as his thumb stopped rubbing your clit and he alternated to giving you shallow thrusts that had you standing on the precipice.
âNo!â you gasped. âNo one else,â you added. âOnly you. No one else has ever filled me up. Youâre the first. No one else can. Iâm yours!â Your words had the intended effect of Seonghwa and he resumed ramming into you, resting his forehead against yours as he muttered he was close.
âWhere do you want it?â he asked quickly, hips faltering slightly. âInside me, Seonghwa, please. Cum inside me,â you gasped. Seonghwa growled, letting go of your throat in favor of cradling your head as his thrusts grew more erratic, sloppier, his moans coming out in pitched whines until he gave you one final thrust, tipping you over the edge, your thighs shaking as your walls clenched around his cock. You clawed at his shirt, whimpering as he fucked his cum into you weakly until his hips stilled, face buried in the crook of your neck as you both basked in the aftermath of your highs.
You werenât sure how long it took but as you came down, the realization that you were half naked on Seonghwaâs work table in the backroom of his floral shop dawned on you and you cleared your throat, licking your dry lips, and tried to get his attention.
âSeonghwa,â you whispered, your voice hoarse. He hummed in response, pressing a few short kisses to your neck. âIâm feeling kind of exposed here,â you added.Â
Seonghwa lifted his head and let out a huff of air before pushing himself up. His hair was a mess, lips red and swollen from your kisses, his cheeks were pink from exertion. âShit, let me uhâŚâ he trailed off as he looked around. âStay right there.â
He carefully pulled his cock free, wincing slightly as he tucked himself back in his pants and rushed over to the drawers on the inside wall. He looked through them quickly and returned with a clean cloth and carefully wiped your skin, the insides of your thighs, your sex and the edge of the table under you.
He dashed around, collecting your clothing and shook them before helping you back into your bralette, top and sweater. âWhere are my panties?â you asked, looking around as Seonghwa zipped and buttoned his pants. âOh,â he said softly, reaching into his pocket and pulling your panties out, unwading them and helping you into them.
âJust until we get you home,â he added as he redid his belt and looked up at you. He reached up, brushing your bottom lip. âOr we can go back to mine,â he offered. You smiled as he leaned in, taking your face in his hands and kissing you sweetly, in high contrast from the pounding he just gave you.
âWe can also just go back to mine. Itâs closer, isnât it?â you muttered against his lips, grabbing him by the sweater.Â
Seonghwa smiled into the kiss before pulling back. âIs this your way of getting me into your bed, miss?â he asked softly, thumbs grazing over your cheeks.
âMmm,â you hummed. âMaybe.â
Seonghwa chuckled, kissing your cheeky grin. âDare I say, itâs working,â he commented, giving you another kiss before pulling away, taking your hand and leading you away from the table and towards the door into the shop. You stopped to grab your things and followed Seonghwa to the front door where he helped you with your coat before unlocking the door and opening it.Â
âAfter you, maâam,â he said and you gently pushed his chest.Â
âUgh, donât call me maâam,â you groaned as you stepped out into the night air.
Seonghwa followed behind, shutting the door and locking it. âOh?â he asked, pocketing his keys and leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek and then your lips. âWhat would you like me to call you, then?â he asked, voice muffled by your lips.Â
âI like Blossom,â you said softly after a moment of contemplation.
âOr Petal,â you added. Seonghwa smiled, cupping your cheek and pulling you into yet another kiss.
âBlossom it is,â he replied before pulling away and offering his arm for you to take. You did so and followed his lead. âSo your place?â he asked, looking at you as you walked.Â
You nodded, smiling up at him. âI can get clean underwear,â you said with a nod.
âOr you can just not wear clothes,â Seonghwa said as you walked, making you giggle.
âWell thereâs another reason Iâd like to go back to my place,â you added.
âOh?â Seonghwa asked, looking at you as you pulled him to a stop and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
âI have spreader bars at my place.â
You giggled at the surprised look on his face before letting go of his arm and continuing forward. Seonghwa quickly caught up to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
âSpreader bars? As in multiple?â he hissed. âSeriously? Next youâll tell me you have an assortment of fantasy dildos.â
You giggled again, harder and Seonghwa looked at you incredulously.Â
âGuess Iâm not as innocent as you thought,â you whispered.
âNo,â he replied, a smirk forming on his face. âNo, I guess not.â
You checked the label on the cup and read the name out loud, smiling as the customer came to get their order. The rush had just ended, the last of your customers trickling out of the door or finding empty seats to sit down and do their work or study.
âIâm gonna take my break, Y/N,â Addie said as you wiped down your counter.Â
âOkay,â you called back.Â
âLin can fill in for me.â You smiled as Lin turned to look at you before they looked past you with a look of mild surprise and nodded. You turned around expecting to see a customer but were instead greeted with a singular white lily.
A smile spread across your face as you looked past the petals and saw the face of your boyfriend, the sweet, albeit kinky and sex-crazed, florist who worked across the square. âTo what occasion do I owe this beautiful gift?â you asked, taking the flower from him and bringing it to your face to smell the scent.
âOccasion?â Seonghwa asked, leaning against the counter. âDo I need an occasion to bring my beautiful girlfriend a flower?â he asked, reaching across the counter to gently take your chin in his hand and caress your cheek with his thumb.Â
âGirlfriend?â a voice asked, making you both turn to find Addie looking from the back room in shock.
Seonghwa chuckled softly and looked back at you. âWhat time do you get off?â he asked as you admired the flower.Â
âIn about an hour,â you hummed, looking up at him.Â
âPerfect, cause see I know this really great place. The wine is amazing and the food is to die for,â he mused, taking one of your hands.
âNo flirting with the employees!â Addie said though you could tell by the tone in her voice she wasnât serious.Â
âSo how about it?â Seonghwa asked. âIâll pick you up here when you get off, we can stop by your place and you can change and then weâll go?â
You eyed him suspiciously. âWhere is this place? Is it new?â you asked. Youâd been to most of the restaurants in town and if something new had popped up, you were sure word would have spread. Seonghwa fought the urge to smile, cupping your cheek again.
âYou could say that,â he answered. âIâll see you in an hour,â he added, standing up straight.Â
âWait,â you called, making him stop by the door but also making a few of the patrons look up. Seonghwa calmly walked back over. âWhere is this place?â you asked softly, leaning in, ignoring the looks of both your coworkers and the customers alike.
âYouâll like it,â Seonghwa said playfully. âI know the owner.â
You raised an eyebrow at this. âWhy wonât you just tell me where it is?â
Seonghwa chuckled, leaning across the counter and catching you in a surprise kiss. âItâs my place,â he finally said with a laugh and stood up straight, drumming quickly on the counter before walking towards the door. âOne hour,â he called and stepped out the door, letting it shut behind him.
âSince when are you seeing the florist?â Lin whispered, coming over to get a look at the lily in your hands. âSince last week,â you murmured, remembering the intense sex you had with said florist in his shop and then again the next morning and night at your place.
âYouâre hiding something,â Addie said suddenly, startling you with her close proximity.
âWhat are you hiding?â You shook your head. âNothing,â you said, turning away and looking out the cafe window to the floral shop across the square where Seonghwa was unlocking the door and entering the shop, shutting the door behind him.
âNothing at all.â
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Hummingbird - Part: I
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Summary: In the quiet town of Jackson, Joel becomes consumed by a dark and overpowering obsession with his new neighbor. What begins as fascination quickly spirals into something much darker as he loses control over his desires.
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Warnings:Â +18, MDNI, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, obsessive!Joel, stalking, voyeurism, dark themes, explicit sexual content, masturbation, age gap (not specified), unprotected PIV, noncon, sexual obsession, power imbalance, dark!Joel, inappropriate behavior
Part: I
Hereâs Part II.
¡ ¡ âââââââââââđĽ¸ââââââââââ¡ ¡¡
In the quiet of Jackson, where the rhythm of daily life had settled into a predictable monotony, something delicate and strange began to intrude upon Joel Millerâs routine. It was a morning like any other, with the sun rising lazily over the horizon, casting a gentle golden hue across the town. Joel was out on his usual run, his steps methodical and unhurried as he made his way back to the his house, his mind occupied with mundane thoughts.
It was then, amidst the usual rustle of leaves and distant hum of the town awakening, that he first heard it. At first, it was barely perceptibleâa faint, ethereal sound drifting through the air like a whisper from another world. Joel paused, his attention momentarily snagged by the delicate melody that seemed to dance just at the edge of his hearing. It was as if the air itself had taken on a subtle, musical quality, a softness that contrasted starkly with the rough edges of his usual environment.
He turned his head, his gaze searching for the source of this unexpected serenade. It was coming from the house next door, a modest structure that had always seemed unremarkable, shrouded in vines and surrounded by the casual chaos of overgrown greenery. The sound was so incongruous with the houseâs unassuming exterior that it felt like a secret whisper from within, something hidden and precious.
Joelâs curiosity was piqued. He stood still for a moment, trying to catch the essence of the melody. It was a humâa soft, resonant tone that seemed to rise and fall with a natural, almost instinctual grace. The notes were like tendrils of mist, curling through the air and slipping past his defenses. He could only imagine the source, but it was enough to make him linger longer than usual, his gaze drawn toward the window of the house.
He paused, listening, his gaze instinctively drawn toward her house. Through the window, all he could make out was a fleeting shadow, a delicate form moving gracefully inside.
At first, Joel thought nothing of it, dismissing the moment as an odd distraction. But as the days passed, something began to shift in him. He found himself increasingly drawn to that house, his curiosity growing with every glimpse of her. It started innocently enough, with stolen glances as he passed by, but soon it became more deliberate. His steps slowed near her house, his eyes straying toward her window, searching for even the slightest sign of her. He was fascinated by the way she moved, by the way her hands gently tended to the garden, her fingers brushing over the petals of flowers she grew with such care. Each sight sent a strange rush through him, something that made his pulse quicken.
¡ ¡ âââââ
The first time Joel saw your face, it struck him with a force that knocked the breath from his lungs. He had been watching, hidden behind the blinds of his window, when you stepped outside. The world seemed to pause, holding its breath as your eyes met his, just for a brief, charged moment. Your wide, innocent eyes framed by long lashes, and the natural rosy glow of your cheeks, made Joelâs chest tighten. You smiled softly, the gentle curve of your lips triggering something deep inside him. He felt it immediatelyâa need so intense it nearly overwhelmed him.Â
Joelâs heart pounded in his chest, a relentless pressure building in his pants. His body reacted violently to the sight of youâhis cock hardening painfully. He clenched his fists at his sides, fighting the overwhelming urge to approach you, to bridge the gap that separated you.
That was when the obsession began.Â
He started to hear your voice more clearly, each utterance a sweet murmur that resonated deep within him. Even the simplest exchangesâcasual hellos, friendly greetingsâwere like a sirenâs call, drawing him deeper into his obsession. Your voice was a melody that seemed to play directly to his most primal desires. Every word you spoke, every laugh, every soft-spoken sentence made his resolve crumble.
As he observed you from a distance, he couldnât help but be captivated by the way your clothes clung to your bodyâhow your sundress gently swayed with each movement, exposing just enough to tease. The sight of your legs, bare and inviting, only served to fuel his obsession. His cock often grew hard and throbbing whenever he caught sight of you, straining painfully against his pants. The thought of you, so close yet so out of reach, drove him to the brink of madness.
One evening, as the golden sun dipped below the horizon, Joel found himself standing by his window, peering out at your house. His breath came in ragged gasps as he saw you stepping outside, your form illuminated by the fading light. You looked ethereal, your face soft and angelic in the warm glow. The sight of you made his cock pulse with need. He gripped the edge of the windowsill, trying to steady himself, but the pressure in his pants became almost unbearable.
He watched, nearly paralyzed with desire, as you walked to your mailbox, your hips swaying with each step. The way your dress clung to your curves made his mouth go dry. His hand instinctively moved to his aching cock, and he found himself pressing against it through his pants, trying to relieve some of the intense pressure. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of dirty fantasiesâimages of you, your soft lips wrapped around him, your body arching beneath him.
âGoddammit, babyâ he cursed, his voice low and strained. âI need you so bad⌠fuckinâ want you so muchâŚâ His hand moved under his pants to his aching cock as he began to stroke himself slowly, his mind filled with filthy images of you. He imagined your soft lips on his skin, your body arching in pleasure beneath him. He imagined how youâd look at him with your pretty eyes as you took him between your soft pillowy lips. fuck.
The intensity of his desire pushed him to the edge as he whispered dirty thoughts about you, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
With every stroke, he imagined you moaning his name, your body shuddering with pleasure as he took you, over and over again. Pounding into your little cunt. He could almost feel the warmth of your body against his, the way your skin would feel under his hands.Â
âGod, youâre so fucking perfect,â he muttered, eyes locked onto your unknowing frame as he stroked himself, his mind filled with filthy fantasies of you. âI bet youâd feel so good wrapped around me, fuckâŚâÂ
The thought drove him to the brink, and he came with a shuddering gasp, his mind filled with the image of youâinnocent and sweet, yet twisted into his darkest fantasies.
¡ ¡ âââââ
Later, when Joel finally mustered the courage to approach you, he was a bundle of conflicting emotionsânervousness and raw, unfiltered desire coiling tightly within him.
The encounter had been a fantasy that had played out in his mind countless times, and now it was happening in reality. Every step toward your porch felt monumental, his heart pounding with a frenetic rhythm that echoed in his ears. His palms were slick with sweat, making his grip on the porch railing shaky as he approached.
He could barely contain the tremors that coursed through his hands and legs, the anticipation making his entire body vibrate with a desperate urgency.
You were seated gracefully on your porch, a book resting lightly in your lap, your legs crossed in a demure manner that only accentuated the delicate curve of your soft thighs.
The evening light painted you in a soft, almost ethereal glow, casting shadows that highlighted the gentle curve of your silhouette. Joel couldnât believe how one could look so⌠pretty.
When you looked up and saw him standing there, your eyes widened with surprise, and a radiant, innocent smile spread across your faceâa sight so pure and captivating that it made Joelâs breath catch in his throat.
âHello,â Joel managed to say, his voice coming out rough and gravelly, betraying the tumult of emotions swirling inside him.
He struggled to keep his tone steady, forcing himself to act casual despite the intense craving gnawing at his insides.
Your smile only widened further, and your eyes sparkled with a blend of curiosity and warmth.
âOh, hi! You must be Mr. Miller. Iâve heard so much about you.â
Joelâs gaze fell to your hand as you extended it in greeting.
Immediately his thoughts slipped to your delicate fingers gripping his throbbing member while he called you his goodgirl. His heart skipped a beat, and he felt a rush of blood pool in his cock, which was now straining painfully against the confines of his pants.
Every move you made seemed to amplify his arousal, and he fought to maintain control as he forced himself to look up at your face.
The sight of you, so effortlessly charming and engaging, was overwhelming. His cock throbbed again with an urgent need that he could hardly contain, and he struggled to keep his composure as he looked at you. Do you know, what youâre doing to him?
âCall me Joel,â he said, his voice low and strained, barely above a whisper. His hands were clammy, and he had to clench them into fists to keep them from reaching out and taking you right on the floor.
You continued to speak, your voice a soft, inviting murmur that wrapped around him like a velvet glove, soothing yet igniting.
âI was just out here enjoying the evening. How are you?â
Joelâs eyes traced every movement you made, every subtle shift of your body.
The way you leaned forward slightly, the way your pretty pink lips parted in a soft, engaging smileâall of it was a tantalizing display that made his cock strain even harder.
He could feel the wetness seeping from the tip of his cock, staining the fabric of his pants, and he shifted uncomfortably, trying to discreetly adjust himself while maintaining a semblance of normal conversation.
âIâm doinâ fine,â he said, his voice barely audible.
All he could focus on was the way you looked, the way your eyes sparkled with an innocent curiosity that heightened his yearning.
His mind was consumed by a storm of lustful thoughts, barely registering the actual conversation. Do you feel this pull, too?
The more you spoke, the more his body betrayed him.
Every smile you flashed, every soft laugh that escaped your lips, was like a provocative tease that made his cock twitch with uncontrollable arousal.
His fantasies grew darker with each passing second, imagining what it would be like to press you against the wall, to feel your body writhing beneath him, to hear your moans of pleasure while he sucked your perfect clit into his mouth and doing that, and more, for hours.
The thought made him shudder with a mix of desire and frustration, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
Each accidental brush of your body against his was like a jolt of electricity. Youâre talking, but he only grasps half of it.
When you leaned in to grab something from the table, your soft, intoxicating scent enveloped him, making his cock nearly explode with a desperate need.
He could barely keep himself together, his thoughts spiraling into a whirlwind of dirty fantasies.
You, looking up at him while sucking on his twitching balls. Licking between them and going lower-
He interrupted himself before he would go actually insane.
You laughed at something he said, and the sound of your laughterâsweet and melodicâwas like a sirenâs call that fueled his desire further.
He envisioned your eyes filled with innocent curiosity as you took him in. The thought made his cock leak uncontrollably, the wet stain spreading on his pants a testament to his arousal.
Look down, baby. Look what youâre doing to me. Give me a fuckinâ reason.
¡ ¡ âââââ
As the evening drew to a close and you finally excused yourself, Joel was left standing there, his body trembling with a mix of frustration and unfulfilled desire.
He watched you walk back inside, your silhouette framed by the warm light of your home, and the sight only deepened his obsession.
He retreated to his own house, barely able to contain the need that simmered just beneath the surface.
Later, as he lay in bed, his thoughts were consumed by you. Every moment, every touch, every word you had spoken replayed in his mind with relentless intensity.
His hand moved to his aching cock, and he began to stroke himself slowly, his mind filled with filthy images of you. He imagined your soft lips on his skin, your body arching in pleasure beneath him. The intensity of his desire pushed him to the edge as he whispered dirty thoughts about you, his breath coming in ragged gasps. My goodgirl. Youâll be such a good fuckinâ girl.
âFuck, I need you so bad,â he groaned, each stroke of his hand sending waves of pleasure through him.
I want to feel your tight pussy wrapped around me, hear you scream my name. I need to make you mine.
With each stroke, he envisioned you moaning his name, calling out to him. Daddy, sir, master, anything - as long as itâs you.
The thought drove him to the brink, and he came with a shuddering gasp, his mind flooded with the image of youâinnocent and sweet, yet twisted into his darkest fantasies.
¡ ¡ âââââ
Joel knew his obsession with you was consuming him, but he couldnât stop.
Every sight, every sound, only deepened his fixation. He was trapped in a cycle of desire and denial, the more he saw of you, the more intense his obsession became.
The twisted desire that had taken root in him was growing stronger, and he knew there was no escaping the dark, perverse longing that now ruled his every thought.
âI have to have her,â Joel whispered into the darkness, the words a promise and a curse. His mind was set on claiming you, making you his in every way. The thought of finally having you, of making you his possession, consumed him completely. He was lost in his obsession, and the only thing that mattered now was the need to make you his, no matter the cost.
Soon, weâll be together - my sweet little hummingbird.
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