#The Post that Never properly published until Now

[sgiandubh]

She saw, she was first, she scored, homerun

Heh. But Marple only tells you what is convenient for her, right?

This time, I do not have the clip, like she does, simply because as I said, I could not be arsed to watch it. But a trusted friend did, all five hours of it (thank you, dear 😘😘😘😘) and sent me very decent screencaps of S + June Brunette at that tennis event. She sent them a couple of hours ago, while I was busy having a life and lunch, you know (I can prove it anytime, but will always protect my Circle of Trust). Sorry for the delay.

As you know, this blog does not believe that hiding information is the best thing to do. I never did.

Following are the screencaps I have received, in order, and with very precise comments. If anything is wrong, let it be my and her sin. But it is not and you will immediately see why.

Context: S and June Brunette's juiciest appearance in that very exposed spot of the VIP area coincided with Mansour Bahrami's match. S came first, at around 03: 04:49.

Two other people who were seated on those seats before his arrival get up and leave (perhaps prompted? perhaps uninterested in Bahrami? we can only speculate) - all this perhaps about 20 to 30 seconds before S arrives, alone:

He takes a seat and quickly arranges his jacket on his knees, perhaps sends an SMS (I am not Mrs. Graham and, unlike many other people across the street, never pretended to have infrared surveillance material):

Meanwhile, she pops in, at around 03:05:10. Unmistakably Panikian - the yellow outfit was a dead giveaway and he practically pointed when, where and for what to look, in his post: 'and of course, the legend, @mansourbahramiofficial'.

Heh: he was far from surprised and she did not chitchat at all ('is this seat taken?' etc). She just sat down: it was a very natural thing to do:

Then, he takes her in a bear hug. Kinda, sorta. Making sure they are well exposed, unlike you know, that other time:

I am told it was a matter of seconds before he wrapped his arm around her neck. Well, that is the rebuke I have been waiting for about three weeks, right?

At about 04:03:41 and until 04:10:03, she goes out, for some reason (🚹? 💄? 📳? your guess is as good as mine):

My candid question is.. who is Light Green Arrow Woman? This is the first time I see her clearly in those screenshots I (one more time, for the people in the back) have been sent by a trusted friend. Could she be a chaperone of sorts? I am told that on the video edit Marple made a modo suo, she seems to be interacting with Mrs. Panikian, but I would have to see that:

A selfie is taken, to properly document the bullshit (after she helped herself with some more champagne):

Whatever Marple calls 'quite the hug' is a kiss on the cheek, and you can see it quite clearly on her edit, if you really are freaked out by this cheap arrangement:

Prompted by the impromptu (heh) 🔦 + 🍾cocktail, she took it very seriously. A pity she did, without having the slightest idea of the strange place she landed in.

That would be it, to be honest. The pics and stills of these two individuals where he does wear a jacket, that our side published first yesterday are from the first part of the program. I do have a couple of more stills from then, but you have it all on that edit. There is no need to add more pics to it, doesn't bring anything new to the table.

And now, onwards for some more context.

Such as this post on June 13, 2024:

With this very peculiar hidden comment:

From a very peculiar sock account:

Mmmhm. Joined in June 2024, follows nobody and is followed by nobody, and yet felt the need to change the username already once? I mean, what the fuck is this cheap game, right here?

So, for those of you naive (I am elegant) enough to think this Brief Encounter was organic, think twice. Somebody followed whatever the scheming was and that somebody tried to warn the woman. Whether about the Inglorious Pap Walk or about Kissgate (the message was posted around June 15th), is to be debated. But still...

And there is some more, of course : I may not be willing to fuck my (already complicated) eyesight with edits and frames and screenshots, but I am not yet dead and I still have all my brain faculties.

Around the same time Mrs. Panikian began to be followed by S on IG, she also began to be followed by a very decent (give or take a couple of details) physical alternative to My Personal Someone. Who would kill me if he could read this post, btw. That is, if you could kill someone with cold shoulder treatment and an icy gaze (Spanish style all the way):

Quick, let's see what his Personal Life insert tells us:

I mean, D'OH: in case you wondered who the fuck that warning sock account was. NEED I DRAW IT?

Nah, can't be Margot, what were we thinking?

🙄🙄🙄

He followed her not so long ago, but well, he wasn't active since March, LOL:

And look how cute, they are fresh (?) mutuals, as of very recently/now - I might be wrong, but I don't think I am:

Tattoos, fitness venues, filthy porn bots in his 'Tagged' section, rumored to be single since at least last year. Rings a bell? Oh, surely not. Especially when you find out that this guy is also a mildly hot topic on Data Lounge (hope dies last):

Similar profiles (but Eggold is apparently a staunch Catholic - the gay conspirators grin with glee), similar PR problems. Alice to the rescue?

At any rate, she is up for grabs, people: 'looking for a man with a decent sense of humor who doesn't troll women's IG pages' - LOOOOOL. Meet the bloody OL fandom, doll - how's that for trolling? Betcha didn't see what real trolling is, yet.

On a sidenote, in an effort to leave no stones unturned, I have even looked for the edits on her Wikipedia page, until I realized they were unsubstantial and made by a clearly obsessed fan of Miss Universe contests (yeah, such people exist):

Surely enough, that user was blocked for sockpuppetry, which means 'abusing multiple accounts'. But Panikian was not her main obsession and for once, this has nothing to do with the current cheapo story that they try to peddle us. Whoever 'they' are.

That's all for now, ladies. Thanks to all three of you who sent tips and raw info for me to connect. You are wonderful!

It's going to be an interesting summer, for sure.

Ship on, ladies, still the same old, tired, boring BS. But also an interestingly symmetrical rebuke to TS Kissgate - if only...

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE NEW GENERATION SUPERSTARS | TO A GOOD SEASON

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. ollie and y/n talk for the first time... even if it's over text. takes part right after the strategy reveal

content warnings. smau, not edited/proofread

notes. have this first chapter before i dip into my holidays hehe

hey y/n! i hope you don't mind me reaching out, but i thought it would be good, since we're the only rookies and never properly met :) to a good season!

oh hi oliver! i don't mind at all, thank you for the message. to a good season for us

are you busy with preperations as well?

yeah

ferrari is definitely a step up from f2, haven't had a free minute for weeks now

welcome to f1 lol 😂

leclerc treating you well? it must've been a mess with sainz...

no worries, charles has been very welcoming, i'm really honored to be his teammate. and the thing with carlos... yeah, it was a bit, but we actually get along well

good good, wanna see you racing and not getting distracted by some bitch fighting in the garage

lmao 😂😂

nah nah, all good. to be honest, he's still a bit prickly about how ferrari and lewis handled those rumors... but well, it isn't really my business

good good

have to run, dad wants to wrap up our moves to ny

but we'll see each other soon, yeah? lemme know when you have time for a proper talk, we definitely have to stick together as rookies

the grid can be a cruel world

alright, have a nice day! don't know about free time yet, but the lastes we'll see each other will be in bahrain

awesome, till then oliver :)

you can call me ollie

let's meet up in bahrain

hello to you too, y/n

hello ollie

so, let's meet up

i'll be there a few day earlier, you as well?

i actually planned to come with ferrari, but i can come earlier!

awesome. you can entertain me then :)

what about the rest of your team?

kev is back with his family and doesn't want to leave them too early, my dad is busy because the president is an incompetent fuck, harley and peter are working on publishing a paper before they join and the rest is just generally busy

damn. alright, as long you plan everything? i have nothing prepared lol

sure! we can go training together and i know a few nice places we can hit before the stress begins

great!!

i'll send you the data later, don't worry, i'll pay for the hotel

you really don't have to

i don't care, you're hanging out with me, i will pay for stuff. i know you could stay at home but you're gonna spend time with me so shut it

alright

hehe, until bahrain. can't wait!!

until then, y/n 😊

taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @themercyverse , @lehm-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles , @fangirl-dot-com , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikifiguerido , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora , @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 , @greeneyesandsunshine ,  @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @leclucklerc , @yl90

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[dawnoftime22]

"my love, darling, sweetheart."

| W.M ( -> N.R )

Undeserving of a love like yours, Chapter 1

Chapter Warnings: None (series warnings in series masterlist)

Summary: A peaceful day spent with Wanda.

Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.

Word Count: 2.1k

Category: Fluff, for now.

A/N: well here it is finally :] this is an old story of mine I never published that I decided to remake, finish up, and post gradually, that miiight also eventually break your heart...but I hope you all enjoy <3

| Started on 29/12/2023, 11:19 PM |

| Finished on 05/01/2024, 9:28 AM |

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

Chapter 2 ->

“Let the sun kiss your skin softly.”

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

It was a sunny day. The sun kept shining in your eyes, and you had to shield yourself with your hands.

You held your hands out to the sky, as if touching it, but only the wind visits your hand. That is practically the sky, after all. Air. Wind. Moisture. You curl your fingers into a fist, firmly clenching it to perhaps capture the cool breeze, only to feel the warmth of your hand's skin against each other, making the cold fade away.

You end up letting your arm drop down to your side, and sigh. There was nothing better, truly, than soaking in a moment of calmness like this. Upon hearing footsteps though, you await what comes for you.

A familiar brunette appears in your view above, eradicating the sunshine and the bright blue sky. She looked down on you softly, your body laying restfully against the grass that moved along with the wind, but is flat underneath your back.

"I got us cakes," she says, sitting down beside you and putting the container down on the ground. You carefully prop yourself up with your elbows until you're sat up properly.

It was your favorite kind. Your lips turn up into a smile, and you grab the small fork while your legs settled into a criss-crossed position. Your hands reached to open the container, the corners clicking open.

The brunette watched you with amusement as you didn't hesitate to grab it. The bakery you loved was right near the park you're at, so it was the perfect time to go when it caught her eye. The man behind the counter had happily greeted her, knowing she's the partner to one of the patrons. The patron, is of course, you. But it was starting to become her new favorite bakery, too.

Wanda had also gotten a bag of warm freshly baked cookies, so she opted to unravel the top of the paper bag and take one, her cake sitting unopened next to yours.

You hum when the smell of the lovely cookies traveled to your nose, making you turn your head to her instead of your slice of cake. She was taking a bite of the cookie, the piece melting in her mouth.

Your hand leaves the fork in the cake container and goes to grab one for yourself, little crumpling noises making sound from the bag as it moved due to your hand.

While the both of you ate your delicacies, you soon space out far off in the distance of the park. Somewhere near there, someone sat at a bench with birds surrounding them and some seeds in their hand.

Beside the scene was another of a little golden retriever happily playing around with another dog, chasing each other around, and sometimes the two of them would stop, the husky looking dog teasing the other one by moving its paws forward, but not running again.

You soon stop focusing on those and turning your attention back to Wanda, but once you look at her, an irresistible smile grows on your face and you have to turn to your cake instead.

"What?" She asks, a breath of a laugh coming through the word. Wanda wondered why you would turn away so quickly. She knew she could make you blush easily, but she hasn't even said or done anything.

"Nothing, you just have some crumbs near your mouth." You shook your head, taking a spoonful of your cake to put in your mouth and look at her once more.

"Oh." Her hand goes up to wipe it off her face, but she went to the wrong side. Her eyes focused on you, visibly struggling to find it because she knows it's not gone due to simply your smile growing.

"No, the other side." You say, helping her. She gets it and looks at you expectantly. You nod, and put a thumbs up, making her reflect your smile.

"You got it." You finish off the last of your cake, and pop the lid back on. Soon your attention drifts off to the sky and the gold shining through the clouds. Wanda follows, and sees the sun behind you, making you glow like an angel.

"We should go to the lake. We can take some beautiful pictures there." She said, tiltng her head slightly, and you see her brunette hair starting to soak in the sunlight. Your eyes brightened at the sentence though, and a soft gasp comes from you.

"Yes! We should." Her lips rise up into a smile once more, and she grabs the bag of cookies before going to stand up. You follow along with your empty container and hers that still had a cake.

You turn to walk with her towards the nearby lake. Since the sunset was only just starting, you had more than enough time to arrive there. A cool breeze goes by, visiting your skins and your hairs. The water that started to come into your view properly, too, was moving with the wind.

The trees shaped the lake beautifully and openly. Not many people were around, especially because nighttime is soon coming around. But it made it all the more better.

Wanda took out her phone from her pocket and started taking some pictures. You stood by, but placed down the containers at a nearby bench and kneeled down to grab a couple small rocks to keep in the palm of your hand.

A thought to take some pictures, too, crossed your mind, but with the present reason of having forgotten to bring your camera, you decided against it.

You stood up and held only one rock in the other hand, throwing it on the water. It jumped lightly against it and splashed, until it dropped to below the water. Wanda turns her phone to you and you look at her.

"Nooo, don't take pictures of me! Look at the lake!" You point your finger towards it before throwing another rock. She moved her phone along the movement, and you assumed she was not just taking pictures, but videos. That rock went farther than the previous one.

"But you're more beautiful than the lake or the sunset!" She says, and you shake your head with a tinge of blush on your face. Once she was done, she walked closer to you with a smile and put her hand out.

You gave her the rest of the rocks in your hand except for one and she threw them. It only jumped twice and you try your hardest not to laugh or smile too wide.

"Okay, that was only my warmup." She says, looking at you with a warning before preparing for another throw. You only hum in response, knowing that it was an obvious excuse.

Wanda throws another, and it does skip farther, before it splashed entirely and disappeared into the water. The clouds had melted into the skies by now, and the last rock you had, you put into one of your pockets.

"I think that one jumped more than yours." You grabbed the cakes and turned away from the lake, now starting to walk to, perhaps, the car. The brunette was behind you anyways though, the place seemed to get darker, with the sun sinking down in the horizon.

"Nope, it did not." You say softly, glancing at her before focusing on the path towards the car once more. She raised her eyebrows at you. To be honest, the two of you got the same amount of jumps in the water with the rocks.

"Sure it did." She adds, wanting to be right. You were getting closer to the car, and she brought out her keys from her pocket, unlocking the car.

"Nope." You repeat, a playful smile on your face when she managed took a look at it at from her driver side just through the windows. She shakes her head with a smile of her own.

You pull the door handle and it opens. You sit in the passenger's side and close the door, your next move being to click the seatbelt on. Wanda had already done the same, and she's starting the engine.

The car powers up and the screens light on. She makes sure to adjust the ac temperature before moving from off the parking spot and into the main road slowly and carefully.

As the truck tires hit the road, the quiet humming of the car is added with the sound of concrete and small pebbles hitting the tires. You look out the window and watch the other cars pass by. There's people on the side of the street.

A florist, holding a boquet of flowers ready to go in a vase. Or perhaps a bought gift, as they're heading for their bicycle. The warm sunlight shone down on the florist, making out a pretty scene. Oh, dear, moments like these filled your heart with life.

Wanda looks at you softly for a second, seeing you spaced out the window. Her hand goes up to turn on the radio, finding a channel that holds good music. She focuses back on the road once she's gotten it.

The songs were calm. Perhaps even encapturing the entire feeling of today. Trees passed by. Streetlights passed by. The lights are on already, and the moon's showing up. Birds are retreating back to their houses, just as you are currently doing.

You look over to your other side, where Wanda sat, her fingers drumming, and her head nodding along the rhythm of the music. She was...so, so pretty. The car comes to a gentle stop, but you hadn't arrived just yet, only at a red light.

"I can see you staring," she says quietly with her eyes focused on the road. Her foot pushed on the pedal once more when the light turned green, and she went to make a turn.

"It's hard not to," you respond, saying only the truth. She glanced at you again, the corners of her lips raising. Buildings went by in her own window.

That is, until she goes into the driveway of your shared house. The car stops and Wanda slides her seatbelt off along with you. She turns the engine off, and the music turns into a quiet silence.

You grab the cookies and cake then open the door, getting out. She locked the car by the time the both of you had closed the doors, and she had grabbed all the items inside.

With the keys in her hands already retrieved from her pockets, she walks to the front door and inserts the key, unlocking it. You were waiting behind her on the porch, and she enters first with you at her back.

The lights in the house were flicked on by Wanda and she goes back to the front to close the door, considering your hands were full. You got your shoes off and went to place the small desserts in your hand onto the kitchen island.

When you looked behind you, the brunette was choosing a vinyl from her shelf to play, her face concentrated. She chooses one right as you went to sit on the couch, her hand carefully grabbing the disc out its sleeve to gently put on the turntable.

She plays the record and slowly drops the needle down on the vinyl, it eventually playing out a soft, mellow tune, one perfect for dancing.

When you see her walking towards you, you expected nothing more or less than an offer. You smile once she holds her hand out for you, a way to ask you to dance. You hesitate, but you gently take her hand, your body getting pulled up with your heart's answer.

She puts her hands around your waist and starts swaying gently to the music, while you settled with your head on her shoulder, your mind wandering with the thoughts of everything.

Outside, sounds of rainfall starts pattering down. The windows filled with drops of it all, but with the curtains closed you couldn't. Although the noise made it clear that it wasn't the record player, or anything else.

You looked up at Wanda, and you can see her gazing back down at you, her eyes meeting yours softly. A small smile goes on her face, the two of you ever so lost in the love you held.

She whispers softly, "I love you," and your heart did leaps in your chest. You've been together for a while, but she's never said such a sentence until this very moment. It came as a surprise.

"I love you, too." You lean back slightly to look at her more, and you can physically see the happiness that fills her face.

end of chapter 1. <3

Series Masterlist Chapter 2 ->

A/N: I am terribly sorry to say that there won't be this much happiness in the later chapters :')

--------------

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@may-z3 @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @simp-erformarvelwomen

[gogandmagog]

C’mon, I know you have a niche LMM post in your drafts to post, the tags are so empty 🤣

Lmaooo, I wish I had something good for this.

I don't know if it's really niche in a satisfying way, but it is certainly niche in a would-anyone-else-bother-themselves-thinking-about-this sort of way? 🥸 Here’s my most recent draft (that isn’t just a note to myself):

All just because a couple of weeks ago, I was reading this book of letters/correspondence between two Cambridge Apostles from around 1910 to 1915. Of course, the Apostles weren’t exactly a frat, so much as a secretive intellectual society, but as with most things, even the tiniest incidentals mentioned in (nearly any) text (or letters, in this case) will immediately return me to splitting Montgomery hairs, so basically I was (am, really) just over here fixating on the possible origins of the (quite fictional lol) Lamba Theta of Redmond.

To begin with, I’m 99% certain that it ought to actually be Lambda Theta* (lambda [λ] is the eleventh letter in the Greek alphabet), since Lamba doesn’t appear anywhere in the Greek dictionary, never mind the alphabet. That kind of small error was enough to launch me properly down a rabbit hole of Victorian (and then Edwardian) frats at Dalhousie University (Redmond’s basis), to see if there were any similarly named that might’ve presented itself as serving for Maud’s basis for the Lambs. As it turned out, there’s nothing. 🙃 The very first frat established at Dalhousie was Phi Kappa Pi, and that wasn’t until 1923... when LMM had attended some three decades earlier, back in 1895. Anne of the Island even predates frats meeting at DU, since it was first published in 1915.

For some scale, the first Canadian frat ever was est. in 1879 (Zeta Psi) at the University of Toronto, and then again in 1883, the same frat opened another chapter over at McGill.

Anyway, I guess was/is just interesting to me that when Maud was inventing up a whole fraternity for her alma mater’s fictional stand-in, she really wouldn’t have had any first-hand experience with one. 🤨 And yet… she understood enough of them to’ve had Gilbert rush/be initiated (with sun-bonnets and calico aprons), in order to become a fully pledged member. Google says that fraternities as we know them now didn’t become notable or popular in the States (which Canada was rather behind) until the mid-late 19th century. Sooo, I suppose Lamba Theta is attributable to just that (a thing of cute pop-culture), or else Zeta Psi at UT was infamous enough for word to get around, to even the more rural areas (there’s 1,801.7 km between UT and Dalhousie btw), about their proceedings.

*the first real Lambda Theta frat/sorority was founded in 1973, at Kean University, and it is a Latino/Latina fraternity; their colours are burgundy and grey - actually quite alike the colours of Redmond University

[nevermoorsource]

Jessica Townsend’s recent Instagram post (7/2/24):

Hello! It’s me, Jess. 😊🩷 I am unspeakably delighted to tell you that the (absolute, for sure, official!) publication dates for Silverborn: The Mystery of Morrigan Crow will be 30 April (Australia/NZ), 08 May (UK) and 24 June (US) 2025. I am even more thrilled to share these STUNNING Australia/NZ and US covers, with artwork by the forever brilliant Jim Madsen (who I think has PROPERLY outdone himself this time, just quietly). I’ll also be revealing the beautiful UK cover in the coming weeks! I can’t wait to hear what you think about all three. You may have clocked (particularly if you’ve preordered) that there have been some date changes since my last announcement here. I know April 2025 is later than you’re currently expecting, and I also know how exasperating it can be to wait so patiently for something and then find out you have to wait EVEN LONGER. For this reason, I’ve deliberately held off on announcing any further date changes on social media until now — I wanted to wait until I knew for absolute, definite, no-doubt-about-it certain that the date I told you would be THE ONE. (Although FYI, from an industry perspective my publishers are under a whole different set of pressures, meaning dates have had to be changed online and with booksellers for many sensible reasons. And of course we all VERY MUCH HOPED those dates would work out, but I’ve never felt like I could tell you another pub date myself unless I felt 100% confident I could make it happen.) I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kindness and patience during the wait for Silverborn! It’s been a long one, partly for various life reasons but also because, frankly, she is a BEAST. In a good way! A LOT happens in this book. Silverborn launches what I’ve always thought of as Act II of Morrigan’s story, but it’s also book 4 of 9, which means there are by now a lot of threads to begin untangling, and even more to lay down for future books. I’m so, so, SO excited for you to read this part of the story next April, and in the meantime I’ve got some fun stuff for you in the coming days and months — I’ll talk some more about this in my Instagram stories imminently! Love JT xx

[someoneintheshadow456]

I said before, now that Cait Corrain’s true self has come out, I can finally elaborate on what happened with her. To put a long story short, I was one of her very first victims - long before she became an original fiction author and back when she was known as Enterprisingly on AO3 - the author of Play to Win.

I know that #reviewbombgate was back in December, but at the time, I did not know about it because I’m not involved in BookTok. However, I WAS involved with the Reylo fandom, albeit indirectly.

The final chapters of Play to Win went on a tangent that seemed bizarre to me at the time. In fact, it seemed so strange that I brushed it off almost completely. It was only when I found Play to Win’s Wayback Machine page after recalling memories of the Reylo fandom last year when I read the chapter properly (instead of skipping ahead to get to the Reylo scenes). And a proper reading made me realize what was so unnerving about it:

Anyone who has engaged with my blog (especially from 2015-2019, when I used to post a lot more content about my personal life) can see the strangely... specific way this character was described. In order to go into this level of depth, one has to have been following me intently and keeping tabs of all the personal things I posted.

And then, she goes from eerily specific descriptions, to straight up maliciously lying about me:

Keep in mind, this screed takes up an ENTIRE chapter in itself. Said character, Ejya Fjord, is a background NPC who is mentioned a total of 121 times in a 161,000 word story. In fact, her name is mentioned so little that you could be forgiven for not remembering her at all:

You'd think, if someone would do something like this, I had to have done something terrible to her, or even just gave her a negative review. But I never did.

As you can see here, I have only engaged positively with her. Since Play to Win was also taken down and you can’t see old comments on Wayback Machine. Unfortunately after this, I can only give my word without receipts.

Play to Win was published first in 2018. I reviewed her story in March of 2018, possibly even earlier. In my review, I praised the writing, worldbuilding, and dialogues, but gave a small constructive criticism in that the politics could be better integrated into the story without feeling disjointed.

In the very early chapters, Ejya was clearly intended to be 100% Swedish - as one can tell from the name. However, at some point in the later half of the story, she retroactively became mixed race and a rival for Ben's affections, while Ben seems to be having none of it. It's clear these choices were made to portray me as some kind of horny fangirl for Kylo Ren who will stomp on other girls for his sake:

When I read the last chapter first, I was horrified. But now I'm just... bemused that someone would ever see me as some kind of calculating vixen who dresses like a Euphoria high school student and only likes masculine hobbies to pick up dudes. When in reality it took me until 2020 to be able to type the word "sex" without having heart attack and have never so much as posted a selfie on here.

It's also funny that Ejya is petite and flat chested while my actual body type is the exact opposite... which she would know since she stalked my blog so thoroughly. Almost as though she's implying something about her own insecurities...

Initially, I was under the impression that Corrain targeted me because of my association with @ainomica - due to her ruffling the Reylo fandom’s feathers (and ending up on Corrain’s hit list) over her opinions on John Boyega. However, that controversy happened in 2020. When Corrain wrote this libel about me, @ainomica wasn’t even on her radar, not to mention it was a year before we had ever even met. This libel was done to target me, and me exclusively.

In essence - Corrain weaved libel about me into her story because my existence pissed her off. We know now that Corrain had a penchant for targeting sapphic authors and WOC almost exclusively. So it's safe to say she was just being a typical white saviour liberal who shows what she actually thinks of minorities when they don't toe the line.

While this does make her less unhinged in my eyes than using me to target someone else, it still means that Corrain was, and always has been capable of aggression towards anyone she’s remotely offended by. Especially if said person happens to be a minority of some kind.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Blood Drops on Roses Ch 16: A Trail of Blood and Shadows (Pt 2)

“So, I hear that you’ll be joining us for a while.” Legend said once he was seated. “Any idea how long that will be for?”

Wild vaguely waved a hand around in response. Twilight likely still wanted him to leave today, if he would. Impa’s command beheld him to them only until they reached Director Purah’s lab in Hateno. He… didn’t really know.

“Well, however long that is—” Legend leaned in, catching Wild’s eyes meaningfully “—is there any way that I can convince you to cut it a bit shorter?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Important author's note under the cut, copy and pasted from the fic.

Okay time for a stupid long author's note now.

When I started publishing this fic, I had Character Death tagged, but not Main Character Death. I was confused on the differences in these tags, so let me clarify--there will be multiple deaths, permanent and temporary, secondary characters and main cast. If you dip out here, no shame, take care of your mental health bestie. If you're unsure, feel free to leave a message in my inbox on tumblr--there I'll go further into content if needed, but I won't confirm theories on who dies or lives. For potentially sensitive chapters, I'll also be adding trigger warning to the top notes and a summary at in the bottom notes, so if any of you wish to keep reading but want to avoid those chapters, you can do so.

For the rest of you that will keep reading, buckle up. You've been sufficiently warned, I hope.

I'm changed the rating to Mature, too, though this arc doesn't quite reach that level. I've been tagging as I go, but I'll try to get the entirety of arc 1 tagged before the next chapter comes out, which will include all the potential content tags I can think of.

If there are any kind of "niche" trigger warnings (I just saw a post about trigger warning hair cutting, which I will add now, but that never would have occurred to me tbh), feel free to comment and I'll make sure it's properly tagged if I have it in the fic.

Anyways, sorry for all the doom and gloom, hope you enjoy the chapter!

[lokigayforhela]

Hi!! I love the way you depict hela so much, everytime I get a notif from you I drop everything to go see what you posted lol💙 could I please request some hurt/ comfort? Reader with past trauma getting in an argument with hela (doesn't matter what they're fighting over) and maybe hela moves or throws her hands up in exasperation and reader flinches? I wanna see how hela would react to reader flinching away from her and the comfort afterwards pretty please💙💙💙

TW: Implied Past Abuse

Rating: PG, to be safe

WC: 1835

A/N: I know I sort of disappeared from the face of the earth for the last two months, but I promise I've been working quietly on a few things, including the next chapter of the Power Source AU. I've also been working on editing and fluffing out my debut novel, which I'm hoping to have picked up by a publisher sometime this year, so that's been taking up a lot of my time. But enough about me! Enjoy this little tidbit to tide you over until I finish the next chapter of Power-Hungry!

“Are we gonna talk?”

You looked over to where Hela stood a foot away from you, expression unreadable as she seemed to be putting all of her effort into focusing on the same plate she had been washing for two minutes now. When she still said nothing in response, you nodded to yourself, popping the lid of the Tupperware over your leftovers and turning around to place them in the fridge.

“Guess not.”

You weren’t entirely sure what had gone wrong while you had been out for dinner and some drinks with a few mutual friends. You didn’t know if it was something someone had said, or something someone had done that you hadn’t noticed, but Hela had seemed to get defensive and closed off about halfway through the meal, which wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for her, but it was one that always raised concern when you picked up on it. You had hoped on the drive home she would say something, and when that hadn’t happened, you’d held out for an explanation once you’d gotten back to the comfort of your own home, and yet here you were, still without answers.

Communication was something that you held with high importance, especially when it came to relationships and the people you loved. You’d had some… less than great experience with partners in the past, which had lead you to be skittish and constantly worried that if you said or did the wrong thing without realizing it, you would be punished for it. It was an awfully horrible way to live, and once you’d managed to get away from it, you’d sworn you would never let that lack of communication back into your life again.

Which was exactly why you were determined to get Hela to talk about what had happened, so you could understand her better and help her process whatever it was that had set her on edge.

“Look,” you finally said, closing the refrigerator door and leaning on it as you angled yourself to face where Hela was standing. “I don’t know what bothered you, and I’m really sorry that I didn’t catch it. But I can’t help you process it if you don’t tell me what happened.”

To your surprise, Hela huffed out a laugh. “This again.”

You blinked. “…I’m sorry?”

“This. You. Always needing to know everything. It’s a bit overdramatic, don’t you think?”

You stammered as you tried to work out where she was coming from, and unfortunately, your anger got the better of you, and you spoke before you could properly think. “I’m overdramatic? I’m just trying to get you to talk about what happened so that we can work through it together and-”

“It’s none of your business,” Hela snapped, finally setting the dish down in the drying rack with enough force that the sound startled you, and turned around to face you. “You’re never giving me the space to process my emotions on my own, and it was kinda cute at first, but now it just feels like you need to know everything and I’m tired of it.”

“Hela…” This was not where you had seen the conversation going, and your anger was giving way to the overwhelming feeling that you had just fucked up the only good thing in your life. “I just-”

“Just what? Hm? I’m allowed to have things that I keep to myself, Y/N. I’m allowed to process and feel my emotions on my own.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t, I just want to help.”

“And I’m saying I don’t need it!” Hela raised her hands above her head in what you, reasonably, knew was just a show of frustration. But all of the sudden, you found yourself traveling back to a time when saying the wrong thing had earned you a verbal berating when you were lucky, and a physical reminder when you weren’t. And like a horribly unfair magic tragic, suddenly you were the scared, anxious person afraid to speak or even breathe around the person that was supposed to love you.

And you reacted the same way you had reacted back then. You stumbled backward, putting what distance you could been yourself and Hela, and you could tell that she recognized her mistake immediately as she froze, gaze softening with worry and regret as she took in the state of you.

“Y/N… Y/N, I-I…” She stumbled over her words, and reached a hand out for you, then seemed to think better of it and let it fall to her side. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, and you thought your heart might stop right in your chest as you waited for whatever came next.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Hela’s voice was hardly above a whisper, and when she opened her eyes, you could see that they were wet with tears. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice, and I shouldn’t have frightened you like that.” She took another slow breath, and gestured toward the living room. “…let’s sit and talk. About this and about earlier.”

You could still feel your body tense with high alert, but you made yourself nod, waiting for Hela to move first before you followed after her, keeping some space between you as you sat down on the sofa with her.

“I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. You were only trying to help, and I know that. I just…” She heaved a sigh that felt so vulnerable that you felt yourself relaxing the slightest bit. “I don’t know how to accept help. I never have.”

You waited a beat, in case she wasn’t finished speaking, but when she said nothing else, you nodded slowly. “…I know that. I shouldn’t have pushed. You’ve… always come to me, when you’ve needed to. And you would have done the same tonight, too. Realistically, I know that. I just…” You heaved a sigh, wrapping your arms more tightly around yourself just because it was the best way you knew to self-soothe when you were actively struggling with your fight or flight response. “Like I said, I want to help. And I can’t stand seeing you when you’re upset, and… and knowing you’re upset but not knowing why or how to help you not be upset.”

You risked a brief glance at her, and found that she had completely softened, no longer looking quite so standoffish, and while you were grateful for that, your brain and your nerves were still on high alert. Another wonderful parting gift from your ex, to put it mildly.

“I know. And I wish that I wasn’t so… averse to accepting help. But I need you to know that I’m working on it. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am.” She met your gaze, then, eyebrows knitting together with worry as she looked at you. “You do know that. Yes?”

You heaved out a quiet sigh and nodded slightly. “Of course I do. And I’m proud of you for trying.”

Hela nodded, and seemed to relax a fraction of a bit more, and you tried to do the same, but couldn’t help the way your heart was still racing. Like your brain was convinced you weren’t out of the woods yet even as your emotions wanted desperately to settle. Hela seemed keenly aware of the war that was going on in your head, though, and hesitantly reached out a hand to settle against your arm.

“I want to apologize, too, for what happened in the kitchen. I knew better than to make a sudden, angry movement like that. I knew better and you deserved better. And I’m sorry that I made you feel like you were back in that situation.”

You shrugged a shoulder, only because that was all you could think to do, despite knowing that things were certainly not okay enough to garner a simple shoulder shrug in response. Hela saw right through this, as well, and shook her head.

“No, no. No appeasing me. No trying to tell me its fine. Your brain has just been teleported back to a time where you felt extremely unsafe. But you’re not there. You’re not then. You’re here and you’re now and you’re with me, and I need you to tell me truthfully what you need to ground yourself.” A pause, as her fingertips trailed down to settle at your wrist hesitantly. “…can I hold your hand? Would that be okay?”

After a brief moment, you gave a nod, and Hela gently took both of your hands into her own, cradling them but not gripping them, so that you had the option to remove them if you felt the need. Autonomy. Something you hadn’t had much of, before.

“What else, my love? Should I keep talking you through it? Sing off-key?” Hela was trying to get you to smile, and that earned her the barest ghost of one. “Cuddles in silence?”

You hesitated at that, and then nodded, letting Hela carefully envelope you in her arms and pull you into her lap. Even as she held you, her arms were loose around you. Not even fully encircling you, giving you an out if you needed one. It made you feel safe in a way that you hadn’t known, before you’d met her.

You could feel yourself relaxing more and more, and the more you settled, the more lovey Hela became with you, pressing the occasional kiss to your forehead or carding her fingers through your hair softly as she held you, letting you come back to yourself at your own pace.

After a while, you were feeling much more present, and much less trapped in your own head, and you glanced up at her, expecting her to be already looking at you but her gaze seemed a little distant, transfixed on some point across the room.

“…you never said what upset you. At dinner,” you pointed out timidly, a small part of you still afraid that bringing it up again might cause another round of arguments.

But Hela only pressed her lips together and shook her head as she looked down at you. “You know, I can’t even remember anymore. Must have been something small and superfluous. Fleeting.”

You considered that for a moment, analyzing her to tell if she was being truthful. When you were satisfied that she was, you spoke again. “And you’re not… mad at me? For…”

“Of course not.” Hela cut you off before you could even finish the sentence. “And I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I spoke out of anger and frustration, and you didn’t deserve that in the least. Not now, not ever.”

You nodded, and laid your head against her shoulder, making yourself comfortable as you felt the tension melting away further bit by bit. “…can we watch something on Netflix? Your pick?”

“Of course we can, my love.” Hela smiled softly, and pressed another kiss to the top of your head. “Of course we can.”

[myalchod]

For the writer ask: 9, 18, 19, any or all, please and thank you! 💜

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted? Last fic I posted was make a mercy out of me. File created 11 June, though I think I started noodling about it as soon as prompts went up and might have started as much as a week earlier, and fic posted 19 June. Considering I had to change things quite a bit, I'm surprised it only took me two weeks, but sometimes the brainrot goes fast.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic In no particular order, things that pop into mind: medieval abortifacients and the Catholic church's historical attitude towards them, different ways of constructing ciphers, bat- and bird-wing rehabilitation, Pony Express travel timelines, reconstructive hand surgery, asphyxia timelines and what effects it'll have ... and a whole hell of a lot more about the Franco-Spanish war in general and the Fronde in particular than I ever anticipated. Yes, I am all too aware of how many of those things are whumpy. Not sorry!

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic I do, in part because you never know if they'll be useful for something else, which means I have a metric fucktonne of word things I've saved. And I know this says sentence or paragraph, but because I'm in a stabby sort of mood and I don't think I'll ever be able to use this for anything else ... this is from make a mercy out of me, from the part that I had to change because Canon, and this is your one and only warning for pain. 😘

“Saul.” He turns to her; she’s standing with her back to the window, moonlight silvering her golden hair and throwing her half into shadow where it slants across the room. They had stood like this months before, when this all began, on a night that seems impossibly different, feeling the first rumblings of the seismic shift that awaited them. But whatever tomorrow brings they will face it together, and he can take solace in that. “No.” It takes a moment to register the word, another to realise that she’s answered his thought. He has known her for most of his life; sometimes he thinks he knows her better than he does himself. And that means that the single syllable tells him what is about to come. “Farah —” he protests, but it dies in his throat as her mind wraps around his. The bond has always been a comfort before, her presence a reassurance, but not now. Not like this. Don’t do this, he thinks, because she has taken his words and he has no other way to fight her — and fight he must, because his fairy has always seen herself as expendable and he can’t do this without her, he can’t, he’s lost too much and one more thing will break him — Silence, within and without, answers him — silence, and a complicated tangle of emotions, guilt and fear and love and something that might be an apology all weighing like a stone in his chest before they are muffled, the connection between them obscured in a way it hasn’t been since he first properly noticed it. It feels strange but no less so than his mind: every thought is like pushing through exhaustion, an almost impossible effort. Easier to sleep, he thinks. Easier by far to close his eyes, to let himself drift, until he can recover, to sink down … (All he knows is the silver moonlight, then nothing more.)

[ ask me another? ]

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Australian & New Zealand Author Showcase No 20 – Luke Arnold

February 9, 2024 by Charlie Cavendish

An idea squeezed into my head in 2023, after seeing so many of the book community gathering at conventions across the US and UK. And once my FOMO subsided, I got to thinking about who might be gathered together if we had similar conventions closer to home. Pending the master planning required to arrange a massive convention, I thought the next best thing might be to run an Australian & New Zealand author showcase. So, I sent out the call, with the only prerequisite for participating being the author had to have been born in either country or currently live there.

Its now 2024 and the Aussie / New Zealand Author Showcase is gathering steam again. Just when I thought it was over even more talent has emerged, at this rate its threatening to become year long event! I will continue to post their individual showcases at regular intervals. So hopefully you will enjoy these interactions with some very talented people. Please be sure to check out their work, sign up to their newsletters and follow them on their social media of choice. I make no apologies for any damage inflicted to your TBR’s!

Showcase No 20 finds me chatting with very talented Luke Arnold. Luke is the award-winning actor from projects such as Black Sails, Glitch and Never Tear Us Apart: The Untold Story of INXS as well as the author of The Fetch Phillips Archives; a series of fantastical detective stories which has third instalments to date.

Do you feel that being an Aussie / Kiwi (or residing there) influences your writing?

Absolutely. I didn’t leave Australia until I was in my twenties so, for better or worse, I was brought up with a distinctly Australian outlook. It’s something that can be easily mischaracterised and also requires some distance to properly understand. Being both a young and old country, we’re still finding ourselves, experiencing growing pains, and struggling with our identity.

At the same time, isolation and an abundance of natural resources means a lot of us are able to benefit from a high quality of life without working as hard as we’d need to in many other places in the world. I think a lot of Aussies know this in their bones, and it makes us nervous of “rocking the boat” for fear that we might lose the advantages we have.

This aversion to change has some embarrassing repercussions on relationships between European Australians and Australia’s First Nations People, as well as our treatment of immigrants and asylum seekers.

We have a different kind of national identity to other western countries like the USA or Britain. We’re still trying to play the underdog – the little colony down under that punches above its weight – but that persona no longer fits us the way it used to. These themes seep into all my work.

Fetch Phillips may have the outward appearance of a classic American hard-boiled hero, but he has an Australian heart. He’s someone who feels separate, a bit ignorant, reticent to become a leader, and happy to defer to those he sees as being older and more experienced. He values being humble and self-effacing, but there is safety in that identity.

It allows him to shirk responsibility and hide in the shadows, even when it should be his moment to step forward. He’s a man who didn’t grow up when he was supposed to and is struggling to come of age too late. I feel like Australia is going through the same thing.

What are some of the challenges being located so far away from the rest of the world, do have any tips for overcoming these?

When I was first trying to get published, I was lucky in that I was already working overseas and had some profile from my acting career. That’s a clear advantage I don’t take lightly. Though I’d always wanted to write, the thing that pushed me to finish my first manuscript was a desire to spend more time at home. My acting career was reaching a point where every job was in a different city, and I wanted to know that I could keep working creatively without needing to get on a plane. There are numerous advantages to being creative in Australia.

One thing that is easily overlooked is that we have more safety nets that some other countries. I really notice this when I’m in the US. It’s terrifying to have no money in America. Of course, cost of living is going up everywhere, but I still think there are more ways to find a balanced life in Australia where you can keep a roof over your head and be creative at the same time. Yes, it’s a smaller market and it can be hard to break out overseas, but if the goal is to live a creative life where you do the thing you love without panicking that someone’s going to kick you out on the street, this is one of the best places in the world to establish yourself.

Personally, I know I couldn’t have survived as a young actor long enough to build my career without the support systems that Australia offers.

3. How do you go about establishing connections in the book community? (any tips / suggestions)

I’m terrible at this. My first two novels came out in 2020 when we were all locked inside, and I’ve only met a handful of other authors in person. So of course, social media is a huge asset.

I mostly rely on creatives I’ve known for a long time. Every couple of weeks, I catch up with an author friend, Steven Lochran, I’ve known since high school, and we read each other’s stuff and discuss what we’re working on. I have a number of other people, some writers some not, who I use as beta readers when they have the time.

Finding your own colleagues that you trust and feel comfortable to share your work with is more important than trying to network your way onto tables with notable people in the industry. If you do good work, then that will happen naturally.

4. Do you have a favourite character to write? And conversely are there any of your characters that are the more of a struggle?

Fetch is fun because he still surprises me. There’s a lot of me in him, and he’s dumb enough that I can stuff my own fears and ideas into his head and have him try and make sense of things. It’s always harder when I have to write someone more intelligent – someone who might have the answers he seeks – because then I need to get ahead of my own pondering and come to some conclusions. Perhaps that’s why everyone is fallible in my world, and even those who seem to have the answers will likely fall to pieces before the end of the story.

5. So aliens finally reveal themselves to us and your work is presented to them as example of what humanity has to offer, what do you hope they will take away from this intergalactic exchange?

I hope they’d see that we’re flawed, confused, vulnerable little things, and yet we keep trying to be better. Individually and collectively. My books are noir in tone, but the point isn’t to say that we’re all broken and corrupt. It’s about celebrating the way we keep trying to be good, even in the face of terrible darkness. Even when we’ve made mistakes that should he unforgivable. Even when the pressure – both without and within – feels like it’s going to crush us. Hopefully, if they’re looking at the state of things right now, it might help them see that we’re not completely lost.

6. Tell us something about yourself that not many people know?

In this relentlessly online world, it’s hard to think of something that isn’t already out there. So I’m trying to think of something obscure. Maybe I’ll share that I play a bit of Beat Saber in VR and I’m determined get to the top of the leader board for Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever (normal difficulty). I’m broken the top 100 but I’m gunning for a top ten spot.

What would you say is the best thing about being an author and the worst?

The best thing is that your work is all yours. There are very few creative endeavours out there where you can give so much of your internal world to another person. While our editors and publishers are integral, it’s not the same collaboration as making a film or playing a song with a band. This is all you.

The worst thing is that your work is all yours. You can get feedback and guidance, but it’s only your name on the cover. You must write every word, alone, without anyone encouraging you or sharing the load. Every time I write a book, I’m struck by what a monumental act of faith it is. One word after the other, day after day, for months, hoping that by the end it will be at all interesting to anyone else. Some days I can’t write a text to someone without crumbling under self-doubt, but then I have to find the motivation to pump out a few thousand words of fiction.

And at the end of it all, when someone else enjoys the finished product, they will also be alone, somewhere far away, playing out the story in their own head, and you’ll be completely oblivious to how it’s making them feel. It requires a level of self-belief that is easier to summon some days more than others.

8. Any other Aussie / Kiwi creatives you’d like to give a shout out for? (let’s spread the love)

I’m embarrassed to say that my reading really dropped off over the last year, but if you want some more noir, this time with a sci-fi twist, the 36 Streets by T.R.Napper’s is a fantastic cyberpunk story set in future Vietnam.

And I finally jumped into Maria Lewis’s The Rose Daughter and am bloody loving it.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

9. What’s your favourite quote or passage from one of your books?

Shit. The ones I love one day, I cringe at the next. The chapters about Fetch’s love interest, Amari, in The Last Smile in Sunder City still hold a special place for me though. They were the first pieces I felt confident sharing with other people.

There’s a part where Fetch just lists the days they spent together. As the series continues, I have to keep returning to it to make sure that if I allude to an encounter between Fetch and Amari, it’s related to one of the occasions included in that list. It’s simple, and Fetch doesn’t include much emotion or embellishment, but every time I go back to it, that tragic romantic melancholy gets back under my skin.

10. What can you say about your current project or what you are planning next?

The fourth instalment of The Fetch Phillips Archives is in the editing phase, and I’m really excited to get it in people’s hands. I’ve enjoyed the fact that Fetch has not yet lived up to being either a hard-boiled detective or a fantasy hero. His guilt, self-doubt, and insecurity have taken his investigations (and in some cases the plot of the books) off the rails. That was always intentional, and I found that journey interesting to write, but Book 4 is a different beast. Fetch is still a problematic guy, but he’s put himself together enough to tackle his next case with more determination. So, for the first time, we have a more focused narrative revolving around a single string of murders. There are a lot of rewarding moments in this one for readers who were hoping Fetch might eventually catch a break.

But it’s still noir, so don’t except all sunshine and roses. Just a mystery where the main character isn’t getting in his own way quite so much.

Bonus Question:  Lastly Vegemite* yes or no?

Absolutely. Thin layer with plenty of butter. It’s not something I crave when I’m away from home but get me back in the Aussie bush and I’ll be searching for a jar in no time.

* An iconic dark salty spread that (most) Australians slap on toast for breakfast (NB explanation for the rest of the world)

Author Bio:

Luke Arnold was born in Australia and has spent the last decade acting his way around the world, playing iconic roles such as Long John Silver in the Emmy-winning Black Sails, Martin Scarsden in the screen adaptation of Chris Hammer’s Scrublands, and his award-winning turn as Michael Hutchence in the INXS mini-series Never Tear Us Apart. When he isn’t performing, Luke is a screenwriter, director and novelist.

He has published three books in The Fetch Phillips Archives, with the fourth instalment on the way. He performs the audiobooks for all his works, and The Last Smile in Sunder City was nominated for Best Fantasy at the 2021 Audie Awards.

Book/ Series Links

Social Media Links

@longlukearnold on Insta, X, and TikTok

Source: FanFi Addict

[quaranmine]

10 Years of Posting Fanfic: A Retrospective

(If you only care about reading my writing from when I was 12, skip to the cut)

I've always enjoyed reading as a kid. I was the kid in class who was reading at a high school level in intermediate school, and the kid who had 8 library books on her desk at a time. Therefore it is no surprise that I quickly realized that I enjoyed writing a lot too.

This post cannot be a look into when I started writing fanfiction though, because frankly I don't remember. Instead, all I have to go off of is the publishing date on my old fanfiction.net profile: December 15, 2013. I'm a little too young for the heyday of Live Journal and other fanfic sites, so ff.net was my first introduction to fanfiction. I also used to use Wattpad now and then, but I never posted anything there. I preferred ff.net, and did not make an AO3 account until 2016.

In middle school and intermediate school, if you asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd tell you I wanted to be a novelist. Of course my actual career went a different direction--I'm now an environmental outreach specialist. But the great news about writing is that it can be done at any time!

Fanfiction.net was also my introduction into the world of fanfic, back when I stumbled onto some Jayfeather Warrior Cats fanfic from a random google search. It took me entirely by suprise to find out that I could actually read more stories about my favorite characters! It was like stumbling into a gold mine. I still remember how thrilled I was. I was instantly hooked, despite being more than a little traumatized by instantly finding a "lemon" and reading about cat sex at probably 11 or 12 years old. Somehow, that did not stop me. I continued to avoid lemons, and developed a huge taste for angst, whump, and hurt/comfort stories. In retrospect, I'm not sure my mom would have viewed reading about torture or suicidal characters as particularly better than smut, but oh well. She never knew.

Throughout middle school and early high school, I was constantly writing. In middle school I had a notebook and used to hand write fanfics and original stories inside. I had two friends who also liked writing, and together we'd spend time developing and editing each other's stories. It's during this time I posted my first stories on FF.net. In high school, my school gave every student a chromebook laptop, and I started writing fanfic in Google Docs on that. I was fearless and had no problems writing angsty anime fanfic in class, on a school-monitored device.

I stopped writing fanfic somewhere in 10th grade, though I never stopped reading it. I stopped writing it primarily because I spent a lot of time writing other things. I was taking college classes. I doing competitive essay writing (I medalled at state) and competitive literary criticism. I was doing art competitions. In 12th grade, I had a job reporting school news to my local newspaper. I wrote op-eds about the environment and dutifully recorded hours of school board meetings to summarize. Then, I was properly off to college, and despite the pandemic hitting a year later I had classes to take online and a part time job outdoors. I had 60 page mock-environmental risk assessments to write. I was too busy to write fiction.

The MCYT fandom is what brought back my desire to write. The creativity of this fandom is so astounding, and I'm grateful all the time that I get to see the things everybody creates. Back in 2021, I no longer felt like I just wanted to read. I felt restless again, so I started writing a DSMP story about clingyduo at the disc war finale. I scrapped this, but it set things into motion again. In the summer of 2021 I posted my first two fanfics in years. I received such good feedback. By kudos, NWNF is my most popular fic on the site, and The Babysitting Game is still 4th most popular. I'm super grateful for that, and I'm grateful for everybody here who reads my stories. I still can't really comprehend that I post things that people actually read now. I save so many of your comments to keep for later.

I'll stop reviewing my history of writing here. You guys know the rest. I wrote HC, Evo, ESMP, and Life series oneshots. I wrote my first long fic, and then smashed that record by writing another longer one that I'm less than two chapters away from finishing. It's been a huge amount of fun and the improvements I've made in two years of active writing is super encouraging.

If I've made this much progress in 10 years, who's to say what I could do in 10 more years? I really look forward to it.

Anyway, the sappy stuff aside, who wants to read the story I wrote when I was 12? I'll post it below the cut in its entirety, no matter how much psychic damage it dealt me. It's Doctor Who, because of course it is. It always goes back to Doctor Who with me :)

From the TARDIS Files--A One-Shot Book

by: crazykatz430 <- I used to go by this everywhere

Description: This is a book of drabbles and one shots-nothing long will be found here, and it will not be updated frequently. Chapters will often have more than one short story in it. Rated T because I'm paranoid, don't know about what I'll end up writing in future chapters. All that said, enjoy! EDIT: CANCELLED

Published: 2013-12-15

Words: 1196

Rated: Fiction T - Language: English - Genre: Humor/Adventure -

Characters: 11th Doctor, Clara O. - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1

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A/N: Okay, so this is a collection of four short (I mean SHORT) oneshots I wrote, most of them just drabbles. So far, this will be just a fic to update when I write more short oneshots in the freewrites on my English Class.

Disclaimer: I don't own DW but if I did… <- oh the early days back when we were all sticking disclaimers on things but not knowing why

There will be a linbreak for new oneshots, and a cat symbol (crazyKATZ430..it's in the name) for the time skips or point of view changes..

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Without further ado, I present: Geronimo , Uploaded , The Forgotten , and Cemetery Nightmares .

Geronimo

Set: The Wedding of River Song

I don't know what to say. All my secrets, fears and enemies, they've all caught up to me. I've run too far, run for too long.

The prophecy states that silence will fall when the question is asked. The first question, the oldest and most important question. I do not know what the question is nor do I want to find out, for the silence that falls will be the silence of my death.

I do not want to do die here, at Lake Silencio, Utah, but it is a fixed point. It will always happen no matter how far or long I run from it. I don't want to die alone… don't want to make my love do it.

I have made a plan, one to hopefully save my life and the earth. Everyone will think I am dead, but it will be safer. They'll be safer from me.

Geronimo!

Now I know what to say, the same thing I've always said when adventure and danger and the unknown ensued…

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Uploaded

Set: The wi-fi's first victim ;

"Where am I?" I whispered, scared. "Hello?"

I looked around myself, studying the surroundings. It was all strange to me, I'd n idea where I was.

I felt panic rising in my chest. "I don't know where I am!" I shrieked, becoming ever more terrified. "Somebody, please, help me! Where am I, I don't know where I am!"

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I raced around the room looking for a way out of what appeared to be someone's bedroom. I gave a cry when I couldn't get out and I subconsciously returned to the computer. "Help me!" I screamed infrustration and fear, my heart racing as panic took over my body. "I don't know where I am!"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The wi-fi had taken its first victim.

The uploading had begun.

The Forgotten

Set: hmm… can't remember. Strange.

I was alone in a cold, dark room, no other living thing in sight.

I can't remember what I've forgotten. But if I can't remember what I've forgotten, then how do I know I forgot something?

But I wasn't alone.

How did I know that? There was nothing visible..yet I felt there was another creature in the room.

Sudden pure, unexplainable terror washed over me. I yanked the sleeve of my shirt down and stared at the underside of my arm. One fresh, black tally mark marred my skin.

The panic reached its heighth and I dropped into a defensive postureautomatically. I didn't know why, it felt like I was forgetting something… I was confused and terrified.

A second crisp tally mark appeared on my arm, closely followed by three more. A full set. But why?

Fifteen or more sets of five tally marks were tattooed on my arm.

Wordlessly I pulled down my right sleeve. What I saw there cause me to scream in fright and drop to the ground.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Doctor who?

Silence will fall when the question is asked. The first question, the oldest question…

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Cemetery Nightmares

Set: New York City, 1950 (set in New York City; however, the

character is British)

The statue had moved. It had really, properly moved!

Eagerly, I lifted my camera to take a picture. "Moving Statues in City Cemetery"? Sounded like a story to me! My editor always thought my stories were rubbish, but I begged to differ. Maybe he's let me print something with proof.

Curiosity killed the cat. This statue could be dangerous, what did I know of it? I smiled as I recalled the second part to the phrase. But satisfaction brought it back. Making up my mind, I held up the camera and clicked a picture.

I waited for it to move again, but it did not. Was it my eyes? No, I'd had two cups of heavily caffeinated tea this morning, you don't start seeing things untill the third day without sleep, I still had a day to go.

I huffed and sighed, closing my eyes. Why must good stories always slip way like this? Or was I just being too impatient?

Either way, I got a shock from when I reopened my eyes. The same stone figure, who seemed to be an angel statue, had moved again, closer to me. I didn't know if I should be happy for more evidence or scared because the hand seemed to be seemed to be reaching out to me…

I blinked again. A small cry escaped my lips as I noted it was closer. Was it all just some sick game? I was the only one in the cemetery though so that option was out of the question. Either way, the expression on the face of the angel now was frightening me. I decided it was best to leave.

I turned to walk back to my car, but on a whim turned to look back again. The statue had moved again, probably 15 meters in a few seconds! I began to tremble. It was like straight out of a horror movie! I just wanted to get away, to get home and out of this creepy place!

Then I made the mistake, my fatal mistake. My eyes began to burn and I blinked, a simple movement. But when I reopened my eyes I stood in a place far more different from where I'd been.

I was somewhere else! It was impossible, the city, cemetery and creepy angel statue were gone too! But where was I? I set out to find someone about what had turned into a nightmare for me. A cemetery nightmare.

The image of an angel becomes an angel.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

One bright red vintage camera lay on the ground, on button switched. The last picture it had taken displayed out from the screen. A seemly harmless picture of an angel statue, taken a minute before the camera's owner was whisked away.

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A/N: There you go, three short oneshots with a fourth that's twice the size of the others! PLease remember to review and say if it was good or not, and have a wonderful day… now that I've given you some stories of dying people. ( Geronimo had no dying but it was pretty intense if I do say so.) And please forgive me, I'm not British so I may tend to overdo some things…

(narrarator voice: she did not, in fact, ever upload another chapter)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, as soon as I type it up, another's on its way!

[cicaklah]

fic author q&a

thank you @the-lady-general for tagging me, I love to procrastinate by doing stuff like this.

1. Why do you write fanfic?

because my brain is a relentless what-if machine and it can't be stopped or tamed. If I wasn't writing it down I'd be losing time just thinking about it, trust me, its far better this way.

and because I love writing, love the fic community, and just love creativity. I've been reading fic literally every single day since I was 11 or 12 and I'm now 38. I'm passionate about the fic writing world and my experience in the 'conventional' writing space has been nothing but anxiety, inferiority and bitterness.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I don't tend to feel like that about my stories, because I am always up to write sequels or prequels to things, or add stuff onto various universes. I still think often about weibermacht, which is the name of the sex club in my Hitman stories, and one day I will write a proper weibermacht story, but the reason I still think about stories is because they aren't properly finished. I also think a lot about the watch me series because I feel guilty that I never finished it. I have at least another 3 stories in various stages of writing.

I'm planning on doing a WIP amnesty next year (once One Man is finished), and I'm hoping that it will get me to finish some of these things I want to return to, but haven't since.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Use the momentum of being really into something to make more art. Write as much fic as you can, and don't let guilt catch up with you. It doesn't matter if it sucks; you have to love it, and if you love it in the moment, you are going in the right direction.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

As a professional sort-of statistician I adore them, I wish there were more of them, specifically available over time, and also the number of subscriptions to series would help me as someone who writes in that way. BUT: comparison is the thief of joy. My big fic-related breakdown was over constantly comparing myself to the people I thought were my peers. Stats don't tell you why you aren't doing better than someone, and I know from my profession that you can't just assume things from numbers.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss Stormpilot (Finn/Poe) circa 2017. What a beautiful time. It will never come again, even if we got something to make the ship sail again, the world has changed.

6. What motivates you to write?

Much like the lady general, I am motivated by wanting to tell jokes, or by specific ideas that enter my brain and won't let go. I am motivated to keep going on one man because there are specific stories I need to share with the rest of the class, but I must tell the rest of the story in order to get there. The journey is the point, but so is the punchline.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

Star Trek, specifically SNW, is my current blorbo, so I write for myself and my id on that one. Hitman is for the thirsty thirteen and because its OTP. Oxventure is...complicated. I am so very burned out on that fandom. Super Secret RPF pairing is because of my co-conspirators <3. I've also written way, way too many things because Phoenix and I have talked about them and I've then be POSSESSED.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

As long as I'm still interested in the project, I do my best to push through. I have the philosophy that a story doesn't really exist until it is published anyway. I do have an abandoned WIP folder, and within that is a folder called 'look I'm never writing these ones'. There are 12 stories in that folder. Meanwhile there are 134 I have yet to give up on, not including the 4 that are currently in progress (not including one man.)

Basically I need another WIP amnesty.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

They really are the fuel on the fire. I have finished stories because of comments. I have written entire worlds because of comments. I do my best to answer every single comment, and I try to also leave comments as much as I can. At the same time, I have to, for my own sanity, try not to put too much stock in them, because we have to be self-fuelling machines, we have to be self-raising lazaruses. You have to write for yourself, because if you base everything on other people's opinions, you will die nobody.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

I think the question I'd like to ask is what is your personal greatest fic achievement? Not your most popular story, what was the story that you still look at and go: I will never not be proud of that achievement. Mine is the fact I have published 750,000 words and 130 stories and I still feel like I'm only just getting started. That the perseverance over the last 14 years proves that I can do whatever I set my mind to, that I am valuable in a way that matters, and all the doubters of my youth can go fuck themselves forever.

I'm tagging @postalninja, @stickthisbig, @android-and-ale and @alienfuckeronmain and anyone else who wants to do it. lets navel gaze, lads.

[demivampirew]

For someone like me who never cared about a celebrity's personal life and never will, I feel this is the best time to be a fan of Henry. Finally he's free from DC studios and their cgi faces, he's free from Lauren's tw and the vast majority of the fan base is with him (100% of the comments on the official trailer are just praise for him and hate for the writing), he is working with talented directors and he's preparing his own universe not to mention that he looks better than ever (love these curls and stubble).

On the contrary, I feel we're at the worse time to be fans of Henry.

-I don't enjoy the arguments about whether he was fired or not (he was) and people questioning his acting skills

-I don't appreciate the rumors about why he left people talking sh*t about him (it makes my blood boil but I don't have the energy to argue about that)

-And mainly, I don't appreciate the way he's been treating the fandom. He ignores us and blames it on us because he's sh*t at keeping his private life private. Don't want people to talk about your personal life and speculate about it? Then keep it private! Don't share information about your girlfriend, don't follow her instagram (you didn't do it with the others, Henry). Tell your girlfriend that for privacy reasons it should be best to make her Instagram private, instead of getting a verification and start acting like an influencer, posting personal stuff, like doxing the rentals and the new house. And she should stop posting the hour she's living in to let us know she's in the Uk, when her job is in LA, so we confirm she's abusing her privilage to work and probably Uk work visa indications -she's not there because is needed for her job, she's there because she needs to be with him to be important. Without Henry she's a nobody, just another high executive for a company (if you doubt me about this, ask yourself how many TV Vice Presidents for entertainment companies do you know and how many have verified accounts?)

(Go to her social media and you'll see almost every post since April 2021 is somehow related to Henry)

She's acting like an entitled *sshole and we just have to be quiet and let the influencer wannabe influence. And even if we just let her do her f*cking influencing, we're still punished by him because a loud minority just can't stay quiet, when the problem wouldn't be a problem if he at the start of the relationship would've just said to her "Look, some fans are very, passionate and, some of them might attack you, like it happened with my exes, so the best thing would be for you to go private on social media so they don't harass you and your friends and family. Just that, just private your social media so people won't find information about you." But of course, he didn't, because deep inside he knows that's the real reason why she's with him. It took her only a few days after articles about their dating were published for her to get her verification checkmark (in order to get verified, she needed to provide three links to articles that talk about her). And after verification, she started to share fanart like an influencer.

And to the people who didn't interact with her social media (or his when he was posting things related to her, which is all he posts now, aside from trailers, posters, or ads) but complain on our freaking blogs or fan spaces, we're gaslighted to believe is OUR FAULT that he's always because we're not acting like the good girl daddy wants us to act like...we're brats so daddy is punishing us until we behave properly. And the ones who do what daddy wants us to do, when they don't get the reward for acting like a good girl, blame others when in reality this is all his own fault, for not keeping things private like he knows he should, and because he doesn't suck it up that some fans will always treat his girlfriends badly (it happened with Tara and Lucy and other and at the time it wasn't a problem for him to interact with fans)

So, to sum up, no it's not the best time to be Henry's fan. It's because of Kal and the hope someday he'll be back to the man he was before this sh*t show that keeps me in the fandom.

[oh-saints]

a lil update; i'm still here :)

as you have probably seen or noticed, I’ve been going MIA for a (looooooong) while now. I started this blog truly to escape reality, in essence—not just a mere blog title—because I was living a life I thought I wanted to live since I was younger. but as I reached mid-year, I realised it was a life suitable to the 15-year-old me, not more and not less.

however, as much as I didn’t want to part-take this phase, I needed to undergo so much turmoil—physically and emotionally, even professionally too, to a certain extent—to find the life I want to live now. in the process, i got lost in the main direction, which resulted to losing everything i possessed. especially—ironically so—and unfortunately, losing myself in the battlefield.

i didn’t have the time and energy to update any of you about how i was doing, how far i was progressing, and what i’ve been doing. it was one thing i hated to do—not updating anyone that could possibly wait for me—but really, going away wasn’t even in my 2023 bingo list.

but now, albeit how apologetic i initially was, i didn’t regret most of the portion because i really needed to go away. to touch the grass, the ground, the air on the pads of my fingertips so i know which one is reality, which one is not, and which one is a reality i can escape from.

by a long shot—returning to this beloved space of mine again.

the funny thing was that i write with a real, professional athlete in mind, wondering what they’d do in daily basis, exploring so many fictional characters and personalities that might fit the said athlete’s routine and persona to become their romantic partner. and still do—hoping i will continue to do so until i got bored and/or incapacitated to—but never in mind did i imagine to actually end up with a real, professional athlete in real life.

crazy, i’d say. and believe me, i’m still processing it too.

but it’s even crazier because our story unravelled similarly to a story i had previously written and published here, where you all enjoyed it.

it was fast, but it never felt more… right. so my initial plan to comeback on Q3 of this year had to be delayed—thus the reason why you see me popping up here and there once in a while—because i got engaged to someone who really showed me how to be loved properly, even in ways i didn’t think of when i wrote how i wanted to be loved by an athlete, and i might only come back once in a while when my time (and probably my mind, too) was not as tight as the corset i just tried on for my upcoming big day.

aside from updating you all how i’ve been doing—as many of you asked in my inbox, but of which i am forever grateful of for your immense love—i want to use this chance to say thank you so much for the love, support, and everything else you have shown me in every chance you can get. dark days, bright nights—every single time. without you all, i wouldn’t have reached this far in life. i wish to give you back on stories, characters, emotions, plots more than ever, in ways and deliverance better than ever. i really can’t wait to spill some of them i’ve written during my time away, when i finally have time to breath.

please wait for some little updates and some new posts during this festive week as my belated christmas wish to you and a heart-warming way to escape the noisy firecrackers for those who don’t like them, like me.

it might not be much for now, but i hope i can make it up for my absence.

all my love, xx

[eightlivs]

A summary

So, the collider project was the crowning achievement of my career. (Still pissed about it getting blown up, but whatever, I can say that until I'm blue in the face.)

But fuck it, it still ran and it still gave me data and I'm still going to claim the results, so here goes.

...

...

Oh, wait, did you expect me to post my actual data?? HAHA NO. You're getting a summary, because I'll be damned if I post my actual data on a public-facing report log. Fuck you. Read about it in the paper I'll eventually publish, with my name on it. I am not going to let people just nick everything I've been working for.

But here you go. Things my collider has suggested or proved:

You can make micro black holes with as little energy as 9.4 tera-electronvolts (TeV) (aka, you can make them in a sufficiently powerful collider). (The LHC has a max design capability of 6.5 TeV per beam so far. My collider was supposed to start at 4.5 TeV and scale up to 8 TeV after upgrades (for a total of 16 TeV).)

Micro black holes exist. (These are just tiny, tiny black holes. They’re actually quite safe, so long as you aren’t standing near them. They pop into existence, then evaporate (see below) and disappear.)

There’s more than three spatial dimensions. (Also see here.) (Considering only three spatial dimensions, the “black hole threshold” is WAY too high, and you won’t be able to make a black hole of any size in a TeV-capable collider. The Planck mass (a natural unit of mass derived from only natural constants) is indicated to be a minimum limit on black hole masses - and the calculations just don’t allow black holes in the TeV range when using only three dimensions plus time. So, in order for black holes to be possible in the TeV range, you have to have a way to scale gravity in a way that’s stronger than in our three spatial dimensions. Otherwise, you won’t have the right conditions for a black hole. With more than three spatial dimensions (personally, I prefer M-theory, a version of string theory which favors ten spatial dimensions plus time), gravity can operate throughout ALL those dimensions, and can scale differently, lowering the “black hole threshold” into the TeV range.)

Gravity works in more than 3 dimensions. (In order for everything above to work, gravity has to permeate more than three dimensions in order to actually scale properly.) (Additionally, the fact that appearing and collapsing black holes can “grab onto” space enough to shred it indicates that gravity does indeed affect space itself.)

Black holes do indeed evaporate. (This has been accepted for a long time - Hawking proposed it in the 70’s, hence why it’s often referred to as Hawking radiation. The old idea that “nothing escapes a black hole”? That’s a trick statement, because technically, black holes DO radiate stuff, and lose mass and energy when they do. (hence the nickname “evaporation”). We’ve never had experimental proof of it before, but now, we know from looking at the data from the collider’s test runs that the micro black holes DID indeed evaporate and disappear in a flash of energy.)

More evidence that gravitons should be a thing. (String theories predicted a graviton, a subatomic elementary particle that regulates gravity.)

Warping space can shred the fabric of spacetime. (This is where the magic happens! The collider creates streams of micro black holes, which have gravitational pull and “bend” space a little bit. Then, the micro black hole disappears, and space snaps back. However, if you have a ton of micro black holes doing that, it’s pulling space in all sorts of rather violent directions all at once, and actually rips the space. That’s where the dimensional “portal” opens up.)

Space is, indeed, elastic to some degree - either that, or it can move fluidly enough that it looks like it’s healing the tears. (The dimensional “portals” were only open while the collider was on, and closed up when the collider turned off.)

Space DOES seem to have some form of “surface tension” or resistive buoyancy - possibly gravity? - that pushes back. (When the original Parker got pushed into the beam by Green Goblin, it took effort to hold him there, as if he were being pushed back.)

Parallel universes exist.

Different laws of physics exist in those universes. (This one’s a little bit less hard-proven and a little more “strongly suggested,” in that the spiders’ glitching seems to almost be on an atomic level, hinting at different underlying base physics.)

There’s some as-of-yet unnamed phenomenon which allows parallel-universe “versions” of a person to be summoned by throwing DNA into the collider beam.

I could think of more, but I think that’s enough stuff for today.

Footnotes: Hey folks! Long time, no see!

First things first, don't take anything here as truth. This is a lot more speculative fiction!

Second, I'm not starting this blog up again. I don't have the time for it - each post typically took days to weeks to research and write, even though they're short posts, and while I loved writing them, I just can't fit it in.

However, I found this in my drafts today - it's been sitting here since 2019! - and I'm not sure why I never posted it. It's something I remember putting a LOT of work into, though, and someone might find it interesting! I remember I wanted to list out possible things that Liv's collider experiments would have implications for, and there's a number of things here about the fictional collider's functions that I hadn't gotten to touch on.

Honestly, I don't thoroughly remember enough to vet the concepts fully as of today, but it's all fictional anyway. Like I said, don't take anything here as truth! If one could operate a collider like Liv’s, and get those particular results, then it’s POSSIBLE it would imply things, BUT in OUR universe, they haven’t been proven (and, again, I'm not a physicist! I'm a hobbyist armed with books and Google, and there's a high chance I've misinterpreted things here or there).

Citations are in-text as links.

Concepts that already existed: These are generally accepted as either a "thing" or "viable theory" by physicists. Micro black holes, Hawking radiation, more than 3 dimensions, gravitons, M-theory.

Concepts that already existed, but are kind of shaky: making micro black holes in a collider, parallel universes.

Concepts that I totally made up based on the movie (and thinking way too hard about things): shredding spacetime, space having surface tension, different laws of physics in parallel universes, the “as-of-yet unnamed phenomenon” of the last one.

Voilá! If anyone has questions about any of the science here, feel free to shoot me a message or an ask! I’ve tried pretty hard to include real-life info to build off of, and to clearly indicate what parts I’m just making up!

[wuffverine]

Hi, I just wanna start off by saying you can delete or answer this ask if it bothers you cuz it’s gonna bring back some bad memories, I apologize in advanced.

I used to be friends with her and by her I think you know who I’m talking about, I broke off our friendship months ago bc I finally saw her true self. I feel the need to apologize to everyone that has warned me about her, but my naive self thought she was just misunderstood so I stayed, and yeah in some ways she is she lives in a broken home so her mentality is bad. But that doesn’t give her the right to do what she did.

She is manipulative, and among other things I don’t want to get into. Months ago she tries to get me to like a certain character, even though I told her that I’m not interested in him, but she only pushes me more & more until I like him. After that day I reblog more things about him, get to know more about him, and got attached. And I think weeks after, I was going thru some bad stuff irl, I opened tumblr to get my mind off of it only to discover she now also likes that same character—the character that she adamantly pushed me to like, to get attached—then she comes out reblogging his stuff, posting how she’s happy to have a new f/o, her moots congratulating her. While I just froze, I couldn’t feel anything, but I definitely felt hurt. So then I called her out for it, nicely too. Then I blocked her bc I was feeling too hurt to type anymore as I might said smth I would’ve regret.

Some minutes passed, she contacted my Discord bc it’s the only acc I didn’t blocked her yet. She asked for me to unblock so she can explain. I did unblocked her, I let her explained. She basically said that she’s sorry, she didn’t mean to “it’s just happened”, she had talked abt it with her other moots—but not ME, and her moots probably encouraged her and that’s why. I tried to forgive her, I tried telling myself that it’s fine, it’s not the end of the world. But she did this before and she would never talk to me about it, I sorta just gave up talking to her about it bc she would pull the victim part and I would feel bad for making HER feel bad.

I know I’m a coward, I know I’m a doormat, i let her walked all over me bc I value our friendship—while she didn’t. She broke the last string of my trust the moment she decided that her connection with her loves is more important that she didn’t even consult to me first. I realised that she never respected me. I realised that she only said sorry bc I caught her, not bc she genuinely felt sorry. I left her on read. I deleted our chat. I deleted every interaction I made with her, the tag games, the inbox messages. Discord. TikTok. I felt so so stupid for letting her walked all over me, and I couldn’t even stand up for myself.

In a way I sort of seen it coming, the reason I didn’t want to like that character bc I knew she would like it, so that’s why I kept saying no. And I was right. No I wasn’t mad about her loving that character, I was mad about the fact she shamelessly did it in front of my eyes knowing I would see it, that she would rather consult it to her other friends and not me. That she wasn’t truly sorry, only bc I called her out on it. The whole thing was so mentally exhausting, I lost my other friends bc of her, it was also my fault too.

You and I have talked before, not close but we did talked, I know you through her. So again, feel free to delete this I just want to tell you about my experience with her. I’m truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this long ass sopping vent post thing. All of you were right.

— 🍊

i would’ve loved to answer this privately but since it’s a anonymous ask i can’t . so im sorry im publishing this but i want you to know that i read this and that i am not ignoring you.

i can’t lie this got me shaking up a lil . mostly cuz i didn’t expect this and thought i properly and finally cut her out my life. this however does not mean that it is bad that you reached out. in fact, im glad you did. i’m sorry that you had similar experiences with her. i’m sorry she manipulated you as well and her broken home is by no means an apology for her to act the way she did / does. i cut her off years ago and it plagues me to this day that i lived through this "friendship" for about two years. i don’t wanna start anything here tho. not a witch hunt against this person nor do i wanna revive any drama. i’m simply answering your ask, and what i also do is offering you to reach out to me via dms or discord or whatever if you want to properly / privately wanna talk about this . (if you need it / want it it’s all /nf ofc !! but it helped me a lot when i got to talk about it with someone who understands nods)

im so sorry this bs happened to you as well, i know how draining it can be and im . kinda sorry that you got to know her through me. i feel like i kinda dragged you into this, which wasnt my intention at all . i’m glad you got out of this and i hope she didn’t cause too much damage, i wouldn’t want anyone to live through the same shit for a long time as i did. it’s draining, exhausting and not good for the mental health in any way.

regarding everything you said, i’m sorry this happened to you. i’m sorry to hear that apparently she hasn’t changed one bit and i’m sorry you had to go through that.

it’s not your fault. not one bit. please don’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault. you couldn’t have known. we both learnt the hard way unfortunately, but now we know better.

im sending you many hugs 🍊anon and again i’m sorry this happened to you. if you ever wanna talk abt it or just vent please know that i‘ll always listen nods my dms are always open for you 🩵