#The Polar Express but all the kids are from different countries and none of them speak the same language

[emile-hides]

Another Holiday Season another year of trying to sell you internet randos on my Polar Express Overwatch AU

Hana as Main Character Kid

Lucio as Main Girl Character Kid

Brigitte as Billy

Lena as Fourth Main Character Kid I am making up

Jamison as Annoying Know It All Kid

John “Jack” Francis Morrison as Train Conductor

Gabriel “Reaper” Reyes as Train Ghost

Reinhardt and Torbjorn as Train Engineers

Ana as Santa Clause

That’s it that’s the pitch.

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

[secondhand-trash]

Crush Culture

A/N: Me? Writing for even more fandoms that none of my followers are here for? It’s more likely than you think. (I’m just kidding please don’t leave) (Also, carrying on with my favourtie game of “find the reference” as I hid a Fleabag reference somewhere yeye)

Pairing: Aizawa Shouta x reader

Description: You were certain that the crush you had years ago died out. But as you took up a position at your mother school, seeing the same person you crushed on seems to prove it otherwise.

Warning: Drunkness, swearing, slight slight slight sexual implications, injuries

Word count: 6415

Playlist: 

Please Notice//Christian Leave

Je te laisserai des mots//Patrick Watson

Crush Culture//Conan Gray

-

You stood in front of the gates that you were so familiar with and was overwhelmed by the sudden wash of nostalgia. How long had it been since you were last here? The last time you stepped out of those concrete walls, you were barely an adult, unknowing of how brutal the world you longed to be a part of could be. This time round, you walked back into the campus you spent the best years of your life at with the same pound in your heart that you held all those years ago but for a completely different reason.

You’d never considered education to be a potential career path for you, your heart had always been set on the crime fighting aspect of the pro-hero lifestyle. Upon graduation, you decided to go from agency to agency unlike most of your peers. You never settled in one place, moving from country to country as you saw fit. There was something about the excitement of being somewhere foreign that enticed you. It was tiring, but you loved it no less.

Which was why everyone you know was shocked to hear that you were the one who took up that new position back at the dear alma mater. When getting the questions your friends bombarded your way, you simply shrugged. You’ve had your fun, now it seems to be a good time for you to settle down after 10 years of what most people deemed as reckless. And you missed Japan anyways.

Passing by groups of chattering students, you couldn’t help but smile at how similar they were to you when you were the one wearing the grey uniform. “Funny,” you thought to yourself, “it was 10 years ago but it felt like yesterday to me.”

Principle Nezu greeted you at the front door of the main building. As he toured you around the new facilities of the campus, he explained that UA decided that it would be a good idea to hire more staff after the USJ incident. “And who better for it than one of our own!” Nezu said and you couldn’t fight the smile that crept onto your face.

“Everyone!” Nezu said in his usual delighted tone as he opened the door to the staff room. The pounding in your chest returned as everyone dropped their work and turned their heads at your direction. No matter how familiar you were with this school, the nerves of starting all over with a new identity was still permanent. “This is our new teaching assistant (y/l/n) san! I’m sure that some of you already know them from the time they were a fellow pupil at UA but make sure to give them a warm welcome no less!”

You kept a composed smile as your new colleagues greet you. Nezu was right when he said that UA always favoured its own as you vaguely recognizing each of the staff as people you had seen on campus or in old school photographs, easing your anxiousness just a bit. Some of them were people you used to admire, like All Might who still left you a bit astonished after getting a firm handshake from such a legendary figure, and it brought an odd sense of pride to think that although you might not be their equal, you were among them now.

But even though you were thrilled to meet everyone you only heard of in tales, seeing the familiar faces of Yamada Hizashi and Aizawa Shouta brought a genuine feeling of joy to you. Unlike others, these two were people that actually helped you when you were in your first year and they were about to leave their school like behind. You looked up to your upperclassmen, and share a similar position as people you admired felt like a full circle.

“Yoooooo (y/l/n)---!” you braced yourself for the endearing throb in your eardrum as the blonde man gave you a firm pat on the back. It would have been obnoxious if it had been someone else, but somehow the loud persona worked perfectly for Present Mic, “You looked so different from what I remembered. I almost felt like I watch you grow up, now that you’re established in the industry.”

“What can I say? Life after school certainly wasn’t easy.” you grinned as he continued on about the short year that you were in school the same time as he was, Aizawa watching on like he wasn’t involved in all the events his friend mentioned. You had always find their dynamic to be intriguing, they were polar opposites but they made the dream team.  

“Interesting how you guys know each other so well when third years don’t usually come in contact with first years that often.” Midnight commented in the middle of Yamada’s rambling and the corner of his lips curled up. You almost winced, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

“Well, (y/l/n) chan here used to come around our classroom all the time. Although I’m sure that they weren’t there for me. In fact-”

“Let’s not go there.” You hid your panic under a playful eye roll and Yamada pursed his lips into a thin smirk as Midnight’s brow raised in amusement. You adored your friend, but you had no intention of letting him brought up what he wanted to reveal in front of so many others that you were desperately trying to leave a good impression upon. Yamada had been the one to tease you ever since you met but he was kind enough to humor you as he dropped the subject, returning to his desk to carry on with whatever he was working on before you entered the room.

The chatter died down and you were left to your own device as you started to settle down on your designated seat, very conveniently against the seemingly tired man who haven’t said a word to you since you walked in. You contemplated making small talk but decided to leave it upon seeing how he was almost dozing off. Time put its strain on the man but the “don’t disturb” aura Aizawa emitted somewhat brought you the comfort of seeing how some things never change.

Why had you crushed on this man anyways?

“It’s been long.”

The groggy voice took you aback and you lifted your head to stare at the man in front of you, now looking more awake. Your mind went blank as you didn’t expect him to strike a conversation. “Yeah." you felt pathetic at how breathy you sounded and that you couldn’t even give a proper respond with more than one word.

Aizawa looked at you with the expression you knew so well but still had no idea how to read, “You haven’t changed much.”

For whatever reason, you felt a weird bitterness on your tongue at his nonchalant comment. Despite it being exactly what you expected from him. “I guess I could say the same for you.” you quickly flashed him a smile and pretend to fumble through your bag, not wanting to know if his gaze lingered on you any longer. Not that you wanted it to.

Working at UA was nothing like what you used to do but you settled in nicely. You didn’t have to teach any classes, mostly helping with administration and paperwork while occasionally offering extra support in trainings when needed. After practically running on adrenaline every day for so long, it was nice to live by a schedule for a change. You got on with the kids nicely, not having to be in charge of classes meant that you got to take up the role of the fun, sarcastic TA that banters with students. Your fellow staff played a huge role in easing your way back into the academy, being helpful and supportive as always. No matter how tired you were, seeing everyone pouring their heart into everything they do gave you the push to strive on. To be fair, it felt weird to work with people you used to somewhat put on a pedestal. But somewhere between Yamada’s loud voice echoing off the walls and Aizawa trying to shut him out by zipping his sleeping bag all the way up, it felt like home all over again.

“Class, Present Mic sensei is out for a meeting today so I’ll be substituting for him.” You said as you flipped through the handouts Yamada had given you before he left the school. The excited whispers of class 1-A did not slip through your ears and you almost snickered at how naive they were to think that they would have a free period only to smirk when you heard their groans after you handed them the blank assignment.

“You have until the bell rings to finish the assignment, feel free to ask me if you need any help.”

Despite their initial protest, the room was soon left with nothing but the sound of pen scribbling. You pulled out the files you were working on, making use of the free time you were given as the students focused on their own work. There were occasional whispers here and there but you let it slide, you were never a believer of silence equal attentiveness anyways. That was until the squeaks at the corner grew louder and a sleeve was waving in the air as a girl with pink skin whispered something into thin air.

“Yes?”

“Um, (y/l/n) sensei,” the girl, whose name was Hagakure as you found out from taking a quick glance at the seating plan, timidly asked, “what’s your relationship with Aizawa sensei?”

Relationship? You were working together? But they already knew that. “Hm,” you tilted your head, thinking about what could possibly get her to ask you that, “He was two year ahead of me at school so technically he’s my senpai, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

“No, but like personally?”

Ashido added, clearly dissatisfied with the answer you gave her friend. The rest of the class stopping their movements and looking up at you, the curious look in their eyes showing you that it wasn’t a question only a few of them have in mind.

“Personally?” you teasingly quirked your brow, entertained by her eagerness, “What exactly do you think our personal relationship is?”

“Well,” she stuttered, slightly embarrassed from exposing her purpose, “Aizawa sensei seems to talk more when he was around you and you were always smiling when he talks so we thought...”

“You thought?”

“That you two might be romantically involved.” Todoroki bluntly said and the class murmured in agreement.

You did not expect that. You didn’t really think that Aizawa treated you any differently from his other colleagues. Even if he did pay more attention to you, you simply took it as it being an old habit from him being the eldest and you being the youngest of the school back then. As for the smiling part, being friendly when someone talks to you was called “manners”. Everyone who went to school with you knew how painfully unrequited your crush was on the upperclassman. For people to question whether you were an item with the same person you pinned after now that you had gotten over him was nowhere near anything you expected.

“We are not,” a few of them narrowed their eyes, clearly not buying what you said, “now get back to your work. Present Mic is going to kill me if he knows that you couldn’t get it done by time because you were too busy gossiping.”

As silence filled the room once again, you tried to focus on your own work but you couldn’t get the boy’s words out of your head. In all honesty, it infuriated you a little. You did not spend your three years in high school being “the one who likes Eraser Head” to be mistaken as a couple with him after you spent so much effort doing the opposite of that once you gave up. Of all people, you cursed in your head, of all the people you could have wasted years going after, you had to fall for the one who find dating to be too much of a chore. Why did you torture yourself like that? You asked, as if you couldn’t pin point the exact moment you realized your feelings for the black-haired male was more than admiration.

You knew that spring had arrived when you felt the first pink petal landing on your shoulder, quietly letting you know that although it was the start of a new year for mother nature, your first year at UA was about to end. It was weird to think that you were a potential pro-hero when you didn’t feel much difference from being an ordinary civilian even after months of harsh training. You found yourself wondering if you were truly suitable for this lifestyle at times, you simply thought that you got lucky in your admission exams. Comparing to those around you, you were nothing special. You weren’t one of those who dreamt of being a hero since they were young and you were nowhere near being the most heroic. You weren’t the best at forming tactics and your combat skills were serviceable at best, you were kinda just there. When everyone had such a clear vision of what kind of hero they wanted to become, even hesitating on things like that made you feel bad for taking up a spot that so many would fight to get on.

You pushed the door to the rooftop and let out a deep sigh as the heavy door slammed shut. You had been eating alone here for a while now, despite your friends inviting you to go to the canteen with them. You needed the time of being alone to clear your mind. You tried to talk to your friends about the many questions looming your mind, but realized that they didn’t get why you had them in the first place as they kept telling you how you were already doing well enough. You appreciated the reassurance but it did not ease the self-doubt that kept coming back to haunt you.

Your eyes widened as you saw a figure sitting at your usual spot, failing to hide your disappointment. You looked closer to see that it was Aizawa Shouta from third year. You had been around him for a few times but found him to be the most intimidating out of all the third years that you encountered. You had spent enough time around him to know that he did not hate you but not enough to know if he considered you a friend. Although his chatty friends would always include you in conversations when you happened to be around them for programs or school functions, you never knew if he was secretly being annoyed by you and his expression or the lack there of made you hesitate to approach him.

You were about to turn around and leave when he caught you in the corner of his eye. “(y/l/n)?”

“Aizawa senpai!” you startled and abruptly turn back to face him, “I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”

“It’s fine, I’m all alone anyways.” Aizawa looked at you and added as he saw how nervous you were, “You can stay if you want.”

You wanted nothing but to escape the awkwardness. Still, you carefully sat next to him, keeping some distance as you did not want to seem rude and muttered a word of thanks.

For a while, you two were just eating in complete silence and the beating in your chest was killing you. The silence was dreadful as you contemplated to talk to him many times before the fear of annoying him pushed each attempt to the back of your head.

“How’s school?”

You almost flinched as the sudden sound of his deep voice broke the silence. “It’s alright.” you tried to give the standard response, believing that Aizawa was only trying to be nice and not really that interested. He hummed and looked at you. You wanted to back to the wall under his gaze, not knowing how to read the look in his eyes.

“Hm,” he said with his eyes still fixed on you, “you looked tired.”

You instantly touched the area under your eyes, wondering if you had any dark circles that gave it away. Aizawa quietly added upon seeing your reaction. “As in mentally. Something on your mind?”

You mind was racing as you stayed silent. You thought you hid it well, not even your friends could notice how bothered you were but somehow this person who you were so sure he was emotionally detached picked up on it. Knowing him, you could easily brush it off and he would not pester you any further. But he was right, you were tired and your doubt went flooding at the slightest bit of compassion you were given.

“It’s just, sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be here,” you said, “I know that passing the test and surviving a whole year is a sign that it was not a mistake that I am. But the thing is, I don’t have to. I’m not as determined as the others and I know that I’ll do just fine being a civilian, the world won’t miss anything. So many people are saying that I’m so lucky to be here and they would kill to be in my place but I just feel such a good chance is wasted on me.”

Aizawa looked a bit dumbfounded at your sudden explosion. “So I don’t know why I’m still doing this. I don’t know and that scares me,” you let out a dry laugh, “even thinking about it makes me feel stupid.”

You weren’t sure why you were telling him all this when you didn’t had the guts to talk to him minutes before but you would be lying if you said it didn’t feel good to let it all out. For a while, neither of you said anything and the same silence that made you crawl in your skin just then became soothing to you now. He diverted his stare away from you for a moment as if he was thinking of something to say and you realized how confusing your rant must be to him.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what came over me but I-”

“You’re not stupid,” he looked at you thoughtfully and it caught your breath in your throat, “you just haven’t grown up, that’s all.”

You didn’t know what to say and he looked away from you once again as his words sink in. To an outsider, it might sounded dismissive or belittling. If anything, to you, it meant that you still had a long way to go and that’s expected, but one day you’ll grow into your own person.

And even though he had no idea, that one mindless sentence gave you more direction to keep going than anything else.

Ever since then, you started to be around Yamada and Aizawa more often. The former very quickly picked up on the reason behind it and teased you relentlessly as you two were pretty good friends even before you developed you not so subtle crush on his best friend. It didn’t take long for everyone else to notice, part of it owing to Present Mic’s lack of awareness on how loud he could be and his obvious attempts of acting as a wingman. There was no way that Aizawa didn’t know it himself, he probably didn’t care about people’s gossiping but he certainly wasn’t blind. Yet, he did not treat you any differently than before. Some part of you expected him to distance from you to avoid getting more people to talk as it seems far more likely than him returning your feelings but he didn’t even show signs of rejection. By the end they graduated, everyone in the school including the teachers knew of your poorly hidden affection.

It didn’t help that you went to the agency Aizawa worked at for your internship. You literally paled when you walked into the office on your first day and saw him sitting there. On one hand, you were glad to be close to your crush but you were sure that you looked like an actual stalker. You were so sure that he would try to steer clear from you, but he didn’t. In fact, it didn’t felt much different from when you were still at school together. Perhaps it was your classmates’ fault for betraying you but you were sure that even people from the agency knew as you were always randomly paired up with Aizawa in missions. You swore that you did not know and it was a complete accident but no one believed you. Your attempts at explaining yourself only fueled the fire even more.

You weren’t sure if you were relieved for your internship to be over as you approached your graduation. You were grateful that Aizawa was nice enough to still be your friend when everyone practically made fun of you both whenever you two interacted in any sort of way but it pained you no less. His lack of acknowledgement on your obvious crush cemented your fate and you finally had enough. Who hurt you? No one but yourself, and that’s the worst part of it. Getting over someone you had loved for 3 years was tough but you made it work after pouring you entire soul into striving for the goal you spent so long finding. It was one of the things that made you glad you decided to work overseas, the distance definitely helped.

You let out a sigh of relieve the day you realized you no longer felt the rush of emotions whenever you came across Aizawa Shouta in anyway.

So for people to still suspect anything till this day was a slap to the face, you would go lengths just to deny the possibility that the feelings you tried so hard to bury down under was still there. You rubbed your temples as you tried to get your mind back on the files in front of you again. You already dwelled on it for too long.

“Are you sure that there’s nothing going on between you and Aizawa sensei?” Ashido asked once again as you walked around to collect their assignments.

“Nothing!” you shook your head with a defeated laugh.

“How about back when you were a student?”

That hit too close to home and you didn’t lie through it as quickly as you wanted to. Somehow, pretending like those long days of painful pining didn’t happen at all came off wrongly to you. “According to your logic, I could be getting on with Present Mic too.” you smirked as she fell silence upon seeing that you were not giving in any sooner.

“Besides,” you said to the girl with you hand on the doorknob, “imagine how tiring it’d be to like someone so insensibly logic driven?”

You almost felt your heart drop dead as you closed the door to see Aizawa standing in the hallway, his head bobbing as he was dozing off. Speak of the fucking devil, how long had he been there? “Aizawa sensei?”

His lids opened as you called out for him and he walked next to you with his sleeping bag in hand. “Heard that you were substituting for those kids,” he said, voice hoarse from his slumber, “passing by to check if they give you a hard time.”

“They’re really sweet, actually.” You replied with a smile and you couldn’t help but think of what his students said to you as you noticed the lift in the corner of your lips. Smiling was normal, no?

“Is that so.”

“Quit it,” you snickered at how apathetic he sounded, “you adore them. You’re just being harsh, you have always been.”

“Have I?”

“Well,” you thought of all the times he scolded you for the minor mistakes you made, “you were harsh to me.”

Aizawa scoffed, “That’s because I had expectations on you. People would let your errors slide when you are still learning, but you don’t get forgiveness that easily when you go into the profession for real. I was trying to get you prepared.” You mockingly threw you hand in the air, laughing as he rolled his eyes at you.

That’s when you felt that familiar warmth at the bottom of your stomach, mixing together with dread as you immediately realized exactly what it implied.

“What do you mean everyone is going out for a drink and what do you mean you forgot to tell me?”

“We didn’t leave you out on purpose, I promise!” you rolled your eyes at the slurring tone of your colleague from the other end of the call. You were still at school, trying to make the most out of the last school day before summer break starts to finish up a few reports you were helping Nezu on. To say that you felt betrayed when you got a call from Midnight saying that everyone was out at a bar and they completely forgotten to invite you would be an understatement.

“And you’re calling me now because?” you wanted to act like you were mad but couldn’t hold in your laughter at how drunk Nemuri was so different from the Midnight you worked with every day.

“Because the night is still young and we want to make up to you! Come on, I’ll send you the address and you can come over! Alright? Good!”

“Wait, Nemuri? I’m not-” And she hung up. How many drinks did she take? You stared at the blank screen of your phone until a message from the woman popped up, showing the address of a bar downtown. Your gaze flicked between the address and the reports on your desk. You let out an exaggerated sigh as you shoved the files into your bag, you could use a drink.

Pushing the door open tentatively, you squinted your eyes to let it get used to the dim lighting of the bar. The bar wasn’t that big and you looked around, trying to find the group of very likely drunk pro-heroes but there was no sign of your friends. Had they left? You silently evaluate the possibility of using the fact they left you out on bar night AND stood you up to guilt them into giving you less work in the next semester.

The bar was quiet with only the occasional clinking of glass and the sound of soft jazz flowing through the shop. Seeing as you had nowhere to go now that the plan to bond with your colleagues seemed unlikely, you sat down on one of the stools at the bar and glanced around to look for the bartender. It was then you saw that someone was actually sitting next to you. Well, they were sitting but the way they laid down with their head on the bar table, you were pretty certain that they had passed out.

You thanked the bartender as he gave you your drink and took a sip, feeling more at ease as you felt the sting sliding down your throat. You took in your surroundings once again, that’s when you noticed the very familiar scarf and black hair of the person who passed out like a corpse next to you.

You gave the person a light poke on the shoulder and gasped when the body jerked awake. “Aizawa?”

He rubbed his eyes and you saw how blood shot they were as he looked at you, slightly confused. “(y/l/n)? What are you doing here?” he asked and stiffly looked around him, “where’s everybody else?”

“Guess they left you here the same way the same way they did with me,” you said, trying to suppress your grin, “why are you here? I don’t really expect you to be the ‘getting drunk with friends from work’ type of person.” There was something very entertaining about seeing someone who was usually so composed looking almost disheveled. You couldn’t recall any moment in your memory of Aizawa looking nearly as clueless as he was now.

“Present Mic dragged me along.” he groaned and rubbed his temple, brows knitting together. He looked like he was in pain, you almost laughed as you imagine what the rest of the crew had done to get him to this state.

You snorted, no longer trying to hide your amusement, “Aizawa sensei, are you ok?”

“Oh fuck you,” he dragged his palm across his face and slid it down his jaw before looking at you once again, “calling me ‘sensei’ like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.”

You laughed and drank the rest of your drink. You should have been more bashful at how he basically called you out like that but you were too amused to be embarrassed. This was the first time he showed any signs that he was aware of your old crush in the past 10 years, who knew that alcohol could be so powerful?

“So you knew.” you mindlessly traced the rim of your glass. You were sure that any signs of your dead crush resurfacing was just a side effect of being around Aizawa on a daily basis again after shutting all thoughts of him out of your head for the past years. Whenever you felt the fluttering in your stomach from being around him, you brushed it off as your mind finding someone convenient to be emotionally attached to. You managed to convince yourself that you didn’t care about him like that anymore than you were not as phased as you thought you would at his sudden boldness.

“Hard to ignore all the snickering from literally anyone who knew both of us, “He tapped his finger on the wooden surface of the bar table gently, “and Hizashi was always nagging me to date you.”

You were lost in thought as you recalled the many times you wondered if he even knew of your affection for him. Lips almost quivering, you asked the one question that used to bother you so much, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He stared at you and you didn’t look away, desperately trying to guess what was going on in his head right now, something you gave up doing a long time ago. “Because I thought that you would give up eventually, that you would realize I’m not worth wasting your time on and find someone who actually treats you nicely.” he said and you felt a painful pang in your chest, “Hell, I wasn’t even interested in relationships. Why bother with someone like that?”

“Trust me,” you sighed in disappointment as you forgot that you had downed the shot you were holding in hand and motioned for a refill before carrying on, “I had asked myself that many times. Wouldn’t have done it if it was a choice I was given.”

“I didn’t expect you to hold onto it for so long,” he paused before adding in a much softer voice, “I almost asked you out by the time you were about to graduate.”

“But you didn’t," you said in a whisper, “and by then I finally gave up.”

Aizawa was about to say something when the bartender handed you another glass of whiskey and you two fell into silence again. You took a gulp, still feeling his stare on you.

“I’m not the same kid who took everything you said to heart anymore.”

“I know, you’re better and stronger than that kid,” the man said in a way that you would mistake as vulnerable if you didn’t know any better, “which means that although I’m regretting everything I did, I know better than anyone that my chance was long gone.”

Was it? You hated how he so easily swayed your heart that was so determined to shut him out.

He watched you take another sip of liquor without responding to him at all and let out a soft sigh, “Should I try going after you for 3 years too?”

“Please don’t,” you begged mockingly, “I know firsthand how troublesome that would be.”

You didn’t miss the slight tug at the corner of his lips and despite your better judgment, you smiled.

What is going on?

Oh god, what is going on?

A million thought went through your head as the alarm of the camp cries at the back. When they told you to help in the first year’s summer camp, you didn’t exactly foresee a lockdown to protect students from a sudden attack.

“But sensei! We should be out there helping the others-”

“No you are not.” you said as you rushed the students to go into the room. You understood why they wanted to put themselves out there but you simply couldn’t let them take the risk.

“They are surrounded by villains in the middle of a forest-”

“Which is exactly why you are staying right where you are.” Vlad King walked in with Aizawa, both in their full gear, “We need to make sure that as many students are safe as possible.”

The kids tried to argue but their protests were quickly shut down. “Vlad King, you stay here with them. I’m going in.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“What?” Aizawa said and the way he sounded like he couldn’t believe what you just said infuriated you at the worst timing possible.

“I said ‘I’ll go with you’,” you tapped your foot impatiently, “you aren’t expecting me to just stay here and do nothing, don’t you?”

The reality was, you were fuming. It was a training camp, yes, but it was supposed to be a chance for those kids to learn and make memories that would last a lifetime and now their lives were on the line because some villain decided to barge in. You wouldn’t let yourself live it down if you stay behind knowing full well you could do more being out there fighting. You snarled, “You had expectations on me back then, have expectations on me now. I’m not any less of a pro than you are.”

He stared at you and for the first time in ever, you could make up on what that look in his eyes meant and it was filled with worry. You would have been touched if you weren’t having such an emergency. Deep down, some part of him knew that he was in no place to worry over you because you were right, you were just as capable as he was. But he just couldn’t help it.

“Of course.” he sighed and started walking towards the main entrance of the building with you closely following suit. He turned to face you again before opening the door, “Don’t do anything reckless.”

You rolled your eyes when you heard his excessive reminder. And remembering that made you feel so guilty as you sat on the stiff bed of the hospital, bandages wrapped around the entire upper part of your body and Aizawa stood by the side as he looked down at you.

“I was trying to shield the students from an attack-”

“With your body.”

“It was too sudden.” you winced in pain as you moved on of your strained muscles as you talked and he immediately leaned down to help you into a more comfortable position.

“You could have died.”

“Or let those kids take a direct hit? I would rather die-”

You were gonna give him a snarky response to ensure him that you were fine and you would recover very soon but the words were caught in your throat as you felt the sudden embrace of his arm across your shoulder, pressing you to his chest in such a tender way like he was afraid of breaking you.

“Please don’t do that again.”

You could feel the vibration in his chest before it hit you in full force and sent shivers done your spine. You muttered in a barely audible whisper, “This is so unfair.”

He arched his head towards you to give you a questioning look and you looked into his eyes, once again filled with the realization of how much of a disadvantage you were in. It wasn’t fair that he could just come in and be genuinely worried about you, knowing full well that it would only make it harder for you to not fall in love with him all over again. He couldn’t just do that, tugging at your heart strings like that when you were the one who had to spend years trying to forget that feeling. You used to crave that look in his eyes and you spent years pretending you didn’t in hope that it would be the truth one day. You spent years getting over him. You spent years not thinking of him whenever you see a stray cat on the streets. You spent years just to stop comparing all of the people who showed an interest on you to him. You spent years to not be in love with him. And he got to just wrap his arm around you and you would still lean into his touch. And it was so unfair, so so so unfair.

“Please stop,” you uttered, “I can’t go back to pining after you again. I’m too old for that.”

Aizawa pressed his forehead to yours and a smile crept onto your face at how uncharacteristically soft he was being, “I meant it when I said I’ll do the pining this time round.”

You snickered, surprised that he remembered his own drunk talking. “And I meant it when I said there’s no need to.”

You were having a moment when you heard a loud thump from behind the door and a squeal as well as people shushing at whoever let out the high pitched sound.

Aizawa groaned, “Those kids are a hazard.”

You laughed and put your chin on his shoulder, silently hoping that his class was prepared for the moment when they got back to school.

[max-is-tired]

Now My Life Gets Better (Every Letter That You Write Me)

Prompt: “Pen pals! Logince” by @creativity-killed-thekitten

Pairing: Logince

Characters: Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders

Words: 2.826

Warnings: Some insecurity, swearing, the rest is basically just fluff 

Notes: I HAD THIS FIC IN THE WORKS SINCE FREAKING NOVEMBER CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING-

I swear this fic did not want to work with me. I had to restart it like, five different times? It really did not want to get written lmao. But now here we are! Finally!!

Thanks to @creativity-killed-thekitten for giving me this prompt and not killing me for the long ass wait lmao ily and thanks to my amazing beta @tigertigertigger who makes sure the English language doesn’t kick my ass to the moon and back, you’re the absolute best

Hit me up if you want to be added to the taglist and let me know if you liked this, reblogs, comments and asks are always very welcome and much appreciated!

Read it on AO3!!   Buy me a Coffee!!

It all starts in 6th grade, when two kids from two different states stumble upon an initiative about pen pals concerning different school districts scattered all around the country.

Since it’s advised more than once to choose a pen name, Logan decides to go by L –just a letter, but generic enough to pass as a nickname. His introduction is rather plain, almost technical, his handwriting clean and void of errors –but, even if he tries to act indifferent to the whole ordeal, he can’t help the little glimmer of curiosity that sparks in his mind, seeping into his words and phrases without him meaning to.

Roman introduces himself as Prince, his first letter written with every single colored pen he can find. It’s messy, as enthusiastic as a written letter can be, and filled with the occasional grammatical error –he should have proofread it, but his 11-years-old brain was too filled with excitement and anticipation to really care about that.

They’re polar opposites in every aspect of their personality and yet, something between them clicks. They keep exchanging letters through the years, a constant back and forth that accompanies them through their middle school and high school years.

They’re not all happy letters, of course. They fight, they cry, and there are windows of time in which no words are spoken, both parties too proud to admit their wrongs. But they always come back to one another, without fail.

And maybe one would think that exchanging written letters in the 21st century is weird, or a waste of time –technology is so much faster and reliable than a piece of paper or the American mail service- but they don’t care.

Even when they finally exchange email addresses first and telephone numbers later, their back and forth in letters doesn’t stop –it’s a tradition by now, something absolutely theirs none of them wants to give up on just yet. It doesn’t matter that they can now talk on a daily basis, may it be via phone or Skype call.

One thing they do not exchange though is their name. They don’t know why, to be honest. They know each other, they trust each other, and yet none of them knows the other’s real name –they still refer to each other with their pen names, even when they’re looking at each other through their laptops’ screens.

Which is never a big problem for Roman, who’s just a sucker for both pet names and flustering the hell out of his beloved nerd.

“I will tell you my name when we meet in person,” Logan says once, during one of their frequent Skype calls, “but only if you agree to do the same.”

“The I absolutely can’t wait for that day to come, my dear L,” Roman answers, dramatically draping himself over his chair while sending his laptop the sweetest smile he could possibly muster, “I’m sure your name is as beautiful as you are, if not more.”

Logan sputters, glaring at Roman as his cheeks and ears turn bright red, and Roman beams, eyes crinkling in delight at the other’s embarrassment.

“Starlight, is that a blush I see?”

“No it is not, and if you don’t shut up now I will end this call.”

Yup, he really can’t wait.

+++

“Hey Sir-Sing-A-Lot, stop talking to your boyfriend for a second, we need to reach that fucking café and you’re the only one between us who knows where it is.”

Roman looks up for his phone, scowling at his friend. “For the last time Mr. Dark and Gloomy, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Every time you’re talking to him you get this sappy, stupid smile on your face,” Virgil smirks, clearly amused by Roman constantly denying the obvious, “It makes you look more stupid than usual, and that’s saying something.”

“I absolutely do not!” Roman exclaims, face red and eyes flashing. Virgil just laughs at his reaction, leaving a blushing Roman glaring at him and wanting nothing more than wipe that fucking smirk off his new roommate’s face.

In his hand, his phone keeps vibrating at an alarming frequency –L has probably launched into one of his little rants, so he’s not really concerned. It’s cute, really, how the other gets so fired up sometimes. Roman just needs to rile him up a little, a few choice words thrown into their conversation, and there’s no stopping him. Roman often finds himself looking forward to their little debates, moreover if they’re over face call. That way, he can admire L as his expression gets more and more invested in their argument, blue eyes lighting up with fire as his passions take hold.

It’s an endearing sight, and one Roman feels like he’ll never get tired of. It makes his insides squirm and flip, heart consumed by a flame oh so similar to the one in the other’s eyes, burning in his veins like liquid fire and-

“-rth to Roman! You with me, Lover Boy?” Virgil exclaims, waving a hand right in front of the other’s face. “Stop daydreaming about the love of your life for a second and get us to the cafeteria, would you? Patton is waiting for us, you know.”

“You want to go just because there’s coffee.” Roman grumbles, walking forward to hide his red cheeks from the other.

Virgil smirks, easily falling into step with his friend. “Damn right I do. Also, you did not deny it. You sure there’s no mysterious boyfriend you gotta introduce us to?”

Roman simply shoves him and keeps walking, effectively putting an end to the conversation.

And in the silence that stretches, his mind starts wandering.

It’s not that he’s not interested in L that way. He can’t say he hasn’t thought about it, that’s for sure. How could he have not?

L is downright stunning, with deep, intelligent blue eyes and always-styled brown locks that Roman just wants to sink his hand into. And he’s not only aesthetically pleasing –oh god, he’s starting to sound like him- but his personality is really something else.

L is calm and collected, the voice of reason in the middle of a storm. But he’s also passionate and incredibly clever, armed with a fiery temper and infinite knowledge. He’s not one to back out from a fight, wiping the floor with his opponent with the use of words alone.

He’s like the ocean, calm in appearance and yet hiding an inner strength to rival the strongest of fighters.

… yeah, maybe Roman is a little bit in love with his best friend. He can see where Virgil’s taunts are coming from. And if those lingering looks and quiet, soft smiles L has been gifting him more and more are anything to go by, he has a rising suspicion that his feelings are very much returned.

But Roman is more attentive than most give him credit for, and he hasn’t missed the uncertain look or the flicker of doubt on L’s face every time the other thinks he’s not paying attention. He knows what the other is thinking. How could he not, when he’s probably feeling the exact same thing?

Because for their whole life, their entire relationship has been composed of letters and messages and video calls. They know each other, but at the same time he can’t help but ask himself… do they really?

To be honest, Roman’s scared shitless of the day they’ll meet. He’s afraid –as illogical as it may seem- that the other will just look at him and decide that he’s suddenly too much –too loud, too affectionate, too dramatic, too Roman- and walk away, leaving him behind for good.

It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before, after all. But that doesn’t mean that, when the time comes, it will break his heart any less.

God, he’s not ready for that day to come.

“You sure you know where we’re going, Princey?” Virgil asks, snapping him out of his thoughts, “Patton is starting to get worried and he’s kind of blowing up my phone with messages.”

Roman rolls his eyes, gaze sweeping over their surroundings. Differently from his two friends, who have both moved just recently in the city for college, he’s lived his whole life just a town over and knows these streets like the back of his hand. He could navigate the town with his eyes closed, and the café Patton’s waiting for them at is, coincidentally, one of his favorites.

The boy grins as his eyes land on the coffee shop’s familiar windows, staring back at them from the other side of the road.

“See?” he exclaims, a smug smile appearing on his face as he points to their destination, “told you I could get us there.”

Virgil waves him off with a chuckle, shaking his head as he reads through Patton’s messages on his phone. “Yeah, yeah. Also, apparently Patton has somehow run into our mysterious fourth roommate and convinced him to wait with him for us, so yeah, heads up I guess?”

“The more the merrier.” Roman hums, quickly crossing the street.

“He says the guy’s name is Logan, he’s apparently very passionate about space and I think Patton just adopted him or something,” Virgil adds, clearly amused.

“Sounds like Padre alright,” Roman chuckles, opening the shop’s door, “I wonder what type Logan is?”

“Looks like we’re about to find out,” Virgil says, “There they are.”

Roman follows Virgil gaze, immediately spotting Patton’s wild caramel curls at one of the tables on the far right of the shop. He looks like he’s giggling at something, hands curled around his cup as he shakes in laughter. The scene brings a little smile on Roman’s face, who still has to get used to how adorable Patton can be –if his heart wasn’t already so set on a certain handsome nerd, he’s pretty sure that boy could have easily stolen it.

Then he looks at the other occupant of the booth and his thoughts loudly screech to a halt.

Roman freezes on the spot, completely ignoring the strange look Virgil is giving him as his heart starts beating wildly in his chest. He’s turned around, face hidden from him, but the slicked-back dark brown hair, the lean, thin frame, and the overall posture are so familiar to Roman he feels like he’s about to burst. And yet, he can’t quite believe it, blinding hope and rational skepticism clashing in his mind –there’s no way that’s who Roman thinks he is, why would he even be here, what even are possibilities that’s really-

“There they are!” Patton calls, waving his hand towards them, and as their mysterious new roommate turns around, every single doubt disappears from Roman’s mind.

Because he knows those deep blue eyes staring back at him, he knows them like he knows his own name and he can’t do anything but stare, completely dumbfounded as the other –it’s L, it’s really him, holy shit this is really happening- slowly stand up from the booth and walk towards him until they’re standing face to face.

L looks at him, cocking his head to the side as he seems to ponder something.

“It appears that you were right, after all,” he finally says.

Roman simply blinks, “W-what?”

“You really are taller than me,” L answers, a little smile appearing on his face, and Roman lets out a laugh, finally snapping out of his shock. He grins, happiness and giddiness pooling in his chest, and before he knows it he’s basically tackling his best friend, spinning him around as L –Logan, Virgil said his name is Logan holy shit he finally knows his best friend’s name- lets out a startled shout.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Roman exclaims as he finally puts the other down, a blinding smile ever-present on his lips.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Logan answers, trying to keep his balance as a wave of dizziness hits him, “was it necessary to spin us around like that?”

“Very much necessary, Specs,” Roman grins, bouncing on his toes, “holy shit you’re really here, this is amazing!”

“Uh,” a voice suddenly pipes up, startling the both of them, “not to interrupt your moment or anything, but what the fuck is going on?”

Roman groans and turns around, sending a weak glare toward Virgil. His roommate simply raises an eyebrow, completely unaffected, while beside him Patton looks three seconds away from bursting into excited squeals.

“Remember the pen pal I told you about?” he says, gesturing to the boy beside him, “Meet the pen pal.”

“More like the guy you’ve talked our ears off about for literal hours, Princey,” Virgil counters, rolling his eyes with a little smirk on his face, “Nice to finally meet you, I guess.”

“OH MY GOD RO THIS IS SO CUTE,” Patton suddenly exclaims, giving everyone else a heart attack as he jumps up and down with literal stars in his eyes.

“Pat, my sweet friend, you know I love you dearly,” Roman wheezes, a hand on his heart, “but please do not do that ever again.”

“Whoops,” Patton giggles, a sheepish smile on his face.

“So,” Logan pipes up, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards, “Ro?”

Roman visibly startles, turning towards him with wide eyes. His surprise disappears quickly though, morphing in a big smile and gleaming eyes.

“Roman Prince, at your service,” he introduces himself with a flourish, complete with a dramatic bow and dazzling grin.

Logan smiles at his antics, rolling his eyes with an amused smile on his face. “My name is Logan Sanders, a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he says, “you used your last name as your pen name?”

“Told you it wasn't just because I am royally handsome,” Roman grins, wiggling his eyebrows.

“A royal annoyance, more like,” Logan shoots back without hesitation, his lips stretching into a smirk of his own.

Roman’s Offended Prince Noises™ are drowned by Virgil’s surprised laugh. “Roman, you didn’t tell us your pen pal was cool!”

“Thank you, I guess?”

“Nerd,” Roman chuckles, shaking his head, “I’ll change your mind, just you wait.”

“Oh, really?” Logan challenges, raising an eyebrow, “I’ve known you since 6th grade, Prince. How exactly are you planning on doing that?”

“How about some take-out dinner at my place tonight?” Roman asks without missing a beat, “we could even watch one of those space-themed documentaries you like so much.”

The other blinks owlishly at him, clearly caught off guard. Silence falls in their little corner of the coffee shop, the only sounds being Logan’s sharp intake of breath and Virgil’s stunned whisper of “holy shit Princey that was smooth as fuck-”.

Distantly, Roman knows he should be freaking out right now, fears and doubt swirling in the back of his mind like a storm brewing in the distance. Strangely enough, though, he can’t feel even an ounce of panic, a smile on his face and his heart beating wildly in his chest as he takes in his best friend’s reddening cheeks and a very familiar spark of something appearing in his eyes -it’s a special type of glimmer, one Logan gets every time he talks about the stars, the universe, the wonders of this world he oh so loves and admires.

It makes Roman’s heart sing, to be the one at the receiving end of that look.

“I- um-” Logan finally manages to croak out, fixing his tie and clearing his throat to try and get back some of his composure, “Are you- are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” Roman nods, still smiling, “if you want to, that is.”

Logan looks at him, clearly pondering the offer in his head. Then, he lets out a sigh, shaking his head with a smile slowly spreading on his face.

“Leave it to you to ask me out not even ten minutes after we’ve met for the first time in real life,” he chuckles, fondly rolling his eyes, “but I think I’ll accept your offer.”

Roman grin widens even more, not missing a beat as he briefly closes the distance between them and gently lets his hands rest on Logan’s waist.

“I swear you won’t regret it, sweetheart,” he murmurs, before leaning in and finally kissing him.

It’s everything Roman has dreamt it would be and so much more. Logan’s lips are soft, slightly chapped, gentle as they move in unison with his own. Roman can feel the beginning of a smile threatening to form as he sinks into the kiss, his surroundings completely forgotten as his whole world narrows down to Logan, and nothing more -he barely acknowledges Virgil letting out a loud whoop, Patton squealing loudly in the background.

The world could end in this very moment, and Roman wouldn’t care less. Because he’s kissing Logan, his pen pal, his best friend, his crush, the man he fell in love with, and for now, everything is perfect.

[that-redhaired-guy]

Thoughts on Gun Control

I wouldn’t consider myself a very intelligent person. In fact there’s quite a few things I am ignorant of. Politics and government are some of those things. So I’m sure most of what I am about to say can easily just be written off as “someone who has no clue what they are talking about.” So be it.

It’s quite discouraging the way our country is so divided today. I realize that with every generation there was a generation of people before them saying how terrible kids today are. I also realize that for as long as America has been a country, and for most of humanity in general, there has been a difference of opinions, which is why our founding fathers wanted a democracy. So each opinion could be voiced.

I think, however, that instead of fighting they probably envisioned a nation of people who would come together and find an agreeable solution. That’s not happening though. Every day it seems like more and more people are sticking their fingers in their ears and just screaming “naner naner boo boo” at even the hint that someone has a different opinion than they do.

Social media has created a world where we are more connected than any time before, and it has also given each person a platform to preach their own gospel. (Like me right now. Yes I can see the irony.) Through the internet people are connecting to more people who share their own opinions. This is natural, no one likes being wrong. Curated social media has allowed people to block out and oppose anyone who disagrees with their world view. Instead of opening doors to new cultures and ideas, people are clinging closer and closer to their own beliefs and creating their own little bubbles.

What brought all of this to my mind is the recent March for Our Lives that was held by students around the country. The opinions on this march are so polarized. Groups of “conservatives” are calling the students idiots and saying they have no idea what they’re marching for while the opposite is praising them.

I’m biased in this as I am on the side of the students. However, I am willing to see the other side of the argument. Which is what we need in this country. People sitting down and discussing both sides and coming together and saying “Hey, you made some good points. I may not agree with all of them but I think we can come together and work something out.” However, I don’t see that happening and honestly, people on both the right and the left are not willing to concede.

This is my opinion, but I think instead of calling these students idiots people should be saying “Hey this sucks that we live in a world where kids can’t go to school and be safe anymore.” Mass school shootings aside, look at inner city schools and how they have to have metal detectors just to make sure kids aren’t bringing weapons in. I think it’s safe to say we have a problem in this country and the ones facing it have a right to express their opinion on it.

Also, quick aside, just because the generation of young people today didn’t grow up during the depression doesn’t mean they’re soft. It just means their struggles are different and relative to the times they are growing up in.

Anyway, let me try and finally make my point. My point is that in order to actually fix the problems in this country people need to stop writing off anything that goes against their own beliefs and come together to seek a solution. The particular solution I feel like writing about right now is gun control, and how it means something different for both sides.

I see people expressing opinions about guns that make it seem like we live back during colonial times or the old west when there were no laws and it was every man for himself. The conservatives seems to think that any amount of gun control will eventually lead to a society where firearms are completely outlawed and the second amendment will go away. There are those who are liberal who feel like all guns are dangerous in the hands of citizens and that those who obtained their firearms legal are just as dangerous as those who didn’t. I think the reality of the situation is somewhere in the middle.

Gun control is defiantly part of the solution to fixing the gun violence we experience in America. No, it’s not going to fix everything and prevent every crime, but its a start. Just ensuring that regulations that are already in place, like waiting a few days before you can take your gun home, are practiced will probably deter crimes of passion committed with guns. 

I also know that “just because it’s a law doesn’t mean that criminals will follow it.” Yeah that’s true, but I think that someone who is wanting to commit a crime will at least be delayed when they have to turn to the “black market” to get their guns. While mass shootings like the one in Vegas or Orlando may not have been totally stopped by gun control, there are plenty of smaller gun crimes that could be curbed with it.

What I don’t mean by gun control however is taking away the second amendment and disarming all citizens. I firmly believe in the second amendment. I own firearms and I firmly believe that other law abiding citizens should be able to own them too. Me personally, I’m willing to give up being able to buy a gun and take it home the same day, or putting it on a registry list, or having to have a permit that says I’m mentally competent if it means that more people are safe in the long run.

And like I’ve said up higher I realize that gun control is not a fix all solution. With the amount of illegal firearms already in use in the U.S.A. it’s going to take a dedicated, brave, and organized police force to help get them off the streets and make cities safer. It’s also going to take a cultural paradigm shift away from violence as well. So gun control is defiantly just a small part of a larger more complex solution, but part of it none the less.

 I also realize that people are concerned that any control of firearms would eventually lead to more strict gun laws, or even outlawing them entirely. I think it’s a slippery slope whenever people compare wanting gun control to nazi Germany disarming its citizens however. If I’m wrong and gun control does lead to an eventual disarmament of american citizens, then I will be the first to admit it and stand in arms against big brother to atone to the second amendment gods.

Changing directions a bit, school shootings seem to be the topic these discussions are revolving around so I want to say something else about them while I’m writing. I honestly don’t think gun control would have much affect on stopping school shootings. They’re a different type of mass shooting than the ones in Orlando and Las Vegas.

I think it would be a start, but I think school shootings are becoming more common because, since Columbine, the idea of a student shooting other students in schools has…entered the zeitgeist so to speak. These kids who commit these heinous acts are willing to take it that far because people before them have taken it that far.

Now, like I said above, I’m ignorant on many of the facts of the school shootings that happened since Colombine. I don’t know how the students who committed them got the guns. I don’t know how much, if any, warning signs there were before hand or really anything like that. So I don’t want to comment on how they should be prevented.

I do believe that we need to elect people who are willing to find a solution though, even at a local level with school superintendents. I think with every shooting that happens there is going to be another kid out there who sees about it on the news and thinks that could be the solution they’ve been looking for.

I know this has been a really rambling post, but like always I see these thing people are complaining about and they’re treating them like there should be a one aspect fix to the problem. Gun violence in America is not a problem that has just one solution but if we keep bickering about gun control and the second amendment then we will never come to a solution.

[jccamus]

My semester with the snowflakes~

My semester with the snowflakes~ https://ift.tt/2sSRZoH

My semester with the snowflakes~

In May of 2019, at the age of 52, I was accepted to the Eli Whitney student program at Yale University.

I am the oldest freshman in the class of 2023. Before I was accepted, I didn’t really know what to expect. I had seen the infamous YouTube video of students screaming at a faculty member. I had seen the news stories regarding the admissions scandal and that Yale was included in that unfortunate business. I had also heard the students at Yale referred to as “snowflakes” in various social media dumpsters and occasionally I’d seen references to Ivy League students as snowflakes in a few news sources.

I should give a bit of background information. I was an unimpressive and difficult student in public schools. I joined the military at 17 and spent close to 26 years in the US Navy. I was assigned, for 22 of those years to Naval Special Warfare Commands. I went through SEAL training twice, quit the first time and barely made it the second time. I did multiple deployments and was wounded in combat in 2009 on a mission to rescue an American hostage.

Every single day I went to work with much better humans than myself. I was brought to a higher level of existence because the standards were high and one needed to earn their slot, their membership in the unit. This wasn’t a one-time deal. Every time you showed up for work, you needed to prove your worth.

The vetting process is difficult and the percentages of those who try out for special operations units and make it through the screening is very low.

In an odd parallel, I feel, in spite of my short time here, the same about Yale.

After receiving my acceptance email and returning to consciousness, I decided to move to Connecticut and do my best in this new environment. Many people have asked me why I want to attend college at 52, and why at an Ivy League institution like Yale? I could have easily stayed in Virginia and attended a community college close to my home. Well, based on my upbringing in the military, I associated difficult vetting process’ with quality and opportunity. I was correct in that guess. More importantly though, I simply want to be a better human being. I feel like getting a world class education at an amazing institution like Yale will help me reach that goal. Are there other places to get a great education? Of course, but I chose Yale.

My first class of the semester was absolutely terrifying. I don’t know if it was so for the kids in my class, but it damn sure was for me. It was a literature seminar with the amazing Sterling Professor of Comparative Literature, Professor David Quint. He is an amazing human in that he has dedicated his life to literature, and he knows what he is talking about. The discussion was centered around the Iliad. I had read a bit of the Iliad in the middle part of my military career and decidedly didn’t get it. Listening to Professor Quint demonstrated exactly how much I didn’t “get it.” The other students looked like children to me. Hell, they are children, but when they speak, and some of them speak english as their second language, they sound like very well-spoken adults. My Navy issued graduate degree in cussing wasn’t going to help me out here. These young students had a good grasp of the literature and although they lacked much experience to bounce it off of, they were certainly “all in” on trying to figure out its underlying meaning.

At one point, I said; “hey, I’m just an old guy sitting here with a bunch of smart people, but I think….” And they all smiled, some of them nervously because I was essentially an alien. I was an old dude with tattoos all over his arms, and a Dutch Shepherd service Dog brandishing a subdued American flag patch on her harness, sitting next to him. Professor Quint later approached me and said “hey, don’t downplay your intelligence. You are smart as well.”

I thought, I’ve got him fooled! Turns out I didn’t fool him at all when I turned in my first paper, but that is another story for another time.

After a few classes, I started to get to know some of my classmates. Each of them is a compelling human who, in spite of their youth, are quite serious about getting things done.

One young woman made a very big impact on me. She approached me after class one day and said; “I am really glad I can be here at Yale and be in class with you. My grandfather came to Yale and when WWII started, he left for the Navy and flew planes in the Pacific theater. After he came home, he came back to Yale, but he couldn’t finish. He locked himself in his room and drank and eventually had to leave, so I feel like I am helping him finish here at Yale and I’m doing it with a veteran, you.”

I was surprised and quite emotional. Exceptionally emotional. She went on; “I can send you a photo of him!” and I told her I would love one. That evening she sent me this photo of her grandfather.

I used to read stories about men like him and they are heroes to me. Clearly her grandfather is a hero to her as well, and she is going to make him quite proud. This connection with a WWII vet through his amazing granddaughter is a gift. One of many I receive on an almost daily basis in this amazing institution. I think it’s worth taking a moment here and acknowledging that this thing we now call “PTSD” has always been around and some of us veterans escape it while others, like me and likely this gent in the airplane, felt the sting of it.

One day in another lit class, I brought up a book I’d read a long time ago called “Taxi Driver Wisdom” by Risa Mickenberg, Joanne Dugan and Brian Lee Hughes.

After that class a couple of the students approached me and explained that their dads were cabbies when they first came to the United States, and that their fathers had told them that the things they sometimes heard from people in their cabs were amazing.

Think about that for a second. These students are first generation Americans. Their fathers immigrated to this country and started out by being taxi drivers. Now, their children are attending college at Yale University. I’m a patriotic man and those are the stories that help me understand how, in spite of the seemingly endless stream of negativity surrounding it, the American Dream is still alive and kicking. It makes my heart sing every time I see those kids.

Let me address this “snowflake” thing. According to the “Urban Dictionary” a “snowflake” is a “term for someone that thinks they are unique and special, but really are not. It gained popularity after the movie “Fight Club” from the quote “You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

I hear the term occasionally from buddies of mine who I love, they say things like; “how are things up there with the liberal snowflakes?”

Let me assure you, I have not met one kid who fits that description. None of the kids I’ve met seem to think that they are “special” any more than any other 18–22-year-old. These kids work their assess off. I have asked a couple of them to help me with my writing. One young woman volunteered to help me by proof-reading my “prose” and, for the record, I believe she will be the President someday. I recently listened while one of my closer pals, a kid from Portland, Oregon, talked to me about the beauty of this insane mathematics problem set he is working on. There is a young man in our group who grew up in Alaska working on fishing boats from a young age and who plays the cello. There is an exceptional young woman from Chicago who wrote a piece for the Yale Daily news expressing the importance of public demonstrations in the light of a recent police shooting. She and I are polar opposites. I am the “patriarchy” at first glance, and she is a young black woman who is keen on public protests. Not the type of soul I generally find myself in a conversation with. We come from different worlds and yet we both read classic works with open hearts and minds.

We recently met with a prominent writer from a think tank who is researching the state of the humanities in the university setting. There were four of us students, two other young men, the young woman from Chicago, and me, the old guy. As the younger students started to express their thoughts, the young woman (truly a unicorn of a human) used the word “safe space” and it hit me forcefully. I come from a place where when I hear that term, I roll my eyes into the back of my vacant skull and laugh from the bottom of my potbelly. This time, I was literally in shock. It hit me that what I thought a “safe space” meant, was not accurate. This young woman, the one who used the phrase, “Safe Space” isn’t scared of anything. She is a life-force of goodness and strength. She doesn’t need anyone to provide a comfortable environment for her. What she meant by “safe space” was that she was happy to be in an environment where difficult subjects can be discussed openly, without the risk of disrespect or harsh judgement. This works both ways. What I mean is, this young woman was comfortable, in this University setting, wrestling with things like the Aristotelian idea of some humans being born as “natural slaves.” She was quite comfortable in that space. The question was, how comfortable was the 52-year-old white guy in that discussion? Did it make me uncomfortable? Yes. I’m grateful for the discomfort. Thinking about things I don’t understand or have, for most of my life, written off, is a good thing.

Being uncomfortable is KEY in this world of ours. Not altogether different from the world of special operations, where the work needs to be done, regardless of weather or personal feelings. The climate in this educational institution is one where most students understand that there HAS to be a place where people can assault ideas openly and discuss them vigorously and respectfully in order to improve the state of humanity. I’ll call that a “safe space” and I’m glad those places exist.

Here in the “Directed Studies” program, instead of “tuning in” to our favorite self-confirming “news” source, we are given a timeless text with heavy ideas and then we throw them out on the floor and discuss them with people who have, as I mentioned earlier, made these works and their meaning, their vocation.

In my opinion, the real snowflakes are the people who are afraid of that situation. The poor souls who never take the opportunity to discuss ideas in a group of people who will very likely respectfully disagree with them. I challenge any of you hyper-opinionated zealots out there to actually sit down with a group of people who disagree with you and be open to having your mind changed. I’m not talking about submitting your deeply held beliefs to your twitter/facebook/instagram feeds for agreement from those who “follow” you. That unreal “safe space” where the accountability for ones words is essentially null. I have sure had my mind changed here at Yale. To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.

On veteran’s day, there was a great scene on cross campus. A bunch of American flags had been placed there and I stopped on my morning walk to class and took photos of my dog in front of them and sent them to my friends. Later at some point during the day, a young student placed a glove with red paint on it on one of the flags as she wanted to demonstrate her displeasure with something…I’m not quite sure what.

That same afternoon, some of my fellow students from “Directed Studies,” after a lecture, gave me this:

It is a card thanking me for my service to our nation. I was humbled and amazed.

These hardworking kids are very kind and thoughtful. A far cry from the picture that is often painted of them.

One of my Professors, a Professor of Philosophy, told me once “a good leader is a bridge builder.” Professor David Charles is a man who has been teaching bright young people and some slow and old ones like me, the most difficult subject for me, at Oxford and now Yale. He’s been doing this for over 30 years. He is extremely humble and very kind, in addition to being brilliant. I’m motivated by his words and I want to build bridges and lead, in some small way, a new conversation where we stop pointing out the perceived differences in each other, or this group vs that group, and start pointing out similarities. We don’t need more condescending friction in humanity. We need less. One step in the direction of less societal friction is to seek commonalities. Another step, and one that is sorely needed, is respect.

Now before you think I’m preaching, please know that I come from a place where I was distinctly the opposite of this ideal. I looked for reasons to disregard the opinions of those I didn’t respect. I discounted the ideas of people I felt like hadn’t earned the right to share what was in their mind. Particularly when it came to national security issues, I felt that if you hadn’t taken a gun into combat, I didn’t give a damn what your opinion was.

I’d like to count this as my first brick in attempting to build a bridge between the people here at Yale and those like me before I arrived here. We need everyone who gives a damn about this American experiment to contribute and make it succeed. We humans have much more in common than we have different. Thanks Yale, for helping me to become an aspiring bridge-builder at the age of 52,

In our welcome speech at the beginning of this semester, with all of us Freshman sitting in Woolsey Hall, me sitting next to another veteran, one who’d served in the 82nd Airborne, President Salovey said;

“There is so much we do not know. Let us embrace, together, our humility — our willingness to admit what we have yet to discover. After all, if you knew all the answers, you would not need Yale. And if humanity knew all the answers, the world would not need Yale.”

Now back to that bridge. I need to figure out how to actually build one. Good thing I’ve found a place where I can get help. If this place is peopled by “snowflakes” I’m proudly one of them. I’m a snowflake with a purple heart.

Peace-

https://ift.tt/2QdexIX via Medium December 23, 2019 at 07:10PM

[xephinatheeleven]

Can we all just stop scrolling for a moment to think about how underappreciated film score composers are! Without the music that they compose/write, movies would not have the impact they have on our hearts!  

Lets analyze this shall we? Let’s start with ones everyone knows, and get more obscure as we go!

 -Star Wars IV: The Hologram/Binary Sunset (John Williams) - This piece of music is heard when Luke Skywalker looks up at the setting twin suns of Tatooine.  Can you imagine Luke just standing there without any music; it wouldn’t be impactful with the feeling of loss of him being an orphaned child living with his aunt and uncle, all the while he wants to go and be his own person but he is stuck on this desert planet.  The harsh strings really prove to you that Luke Skywalker is growing up and becoming his own person, followed by the mellow flutes that allow you to understand that he is still a kid as well.  Without the music none of these feelings would have been conveyed!

 -Titanic: Hymn to the Sea/My Heart Will Go On (James Horner) – Before I start on this, no Celine Dion did NOT write My Heart Will Go On, James Horner did.  Anyway back to the point.  This movie is one of romance and tragedy, almost none of which would be conveyed without the ominous and melodious soundtrack.  The dark feeling that comes with the vocals and bagpipes in Hymn to the Sea help you to feel and envision just how much pain Rose is going through at the loss of her newfound lover and her future as she has to go back to her fiancé.  Not to mention the much more cheerful strings and vocals that help you to see just how proud everyone was of the ‘unsinkable’ ship.  Much like with Star Wars, without the music you wouldn’t be able to feel as emotionally connected to the characters without the score.

 -Star Trek 2009: Enterprising Young Men (Michael Giacchino) – Another one of my personal favorites, this particular piece isn’t as slow, mellow and melodic as the other scores I have referenced, this one is much more upbeat and full of action, contrasting even to some of the pieces in the same movie in a beautiful way.  As the stings in the beginning rise, there is a feeling that something big is coming and it is going to affect the U.S.S. Enterprise and her crew. Quickly the track leads into its crescendo with the bass drums and horns giving you a sense of satisfaction as they manage to beat the situation that has threatened them through so much of the movie.  The scene where the Enterprise comes in and fires on Nero’s ship to save Spock would be nowhere near as climactic if the music weren’t there to accompany the strong feelings of the film.  (I didn’t even mention the soft and depressing track during the destruction of the U.S.S. Kelvin)

 -The Hunger Games: The Train/Rue’s Farewell (James Newton Howard) – The strings with a dark undertone of drums and bass in the piece The Train, allow for the feeling of despair and loss when Katniss and Peeta leave District 12, most likely forever. The brokenness they both feel as they come to realize they will probably never see their loved ones again, and for Peeta the thought of killing the girl he has always loved.  In some ways this differs from the piece Rue’s Farwell, but in some ways they are very similar.  Rue’s Farewell starts very mellow as if Katniss is in shock, unwilling to believe that the little girl who reminded her so much of Prim is dead/dying.  As the guitar comes in, you know Katniss is beginning to accept the death of her friend and gathers flowers.  As the crescendo builds, with the bass becoming deeper, the strings/orchestral track becoming more layered and emotion filled, Katniss stands and uses the three-fingers salute in defiance of the Capitol, causing an uprising in District 11 with the spark of hope she provides.  This is one of my favorite pieces of film score with the emotion it holds.  Now imagine Rue’s death without the music to accompany it, you wouldn’t feel as much of a sense of loss for the young girl. You wouldn’t be able to understand the pain that is being brought upon Katniss by the Capitol, it just wouldn’t be the same scene without the music.

 -Mulan: Short Hair/Mulan’s Decision (Jerry Goldsmith) – You wouldn’t expect a Disney movie about a 16 year-old Chinese girl who pretends to be a man to save her elderly father from having to go to war against the Huns would have the same composer as the original Star Trek.  That is the beauty of film score composers; they can make music to fit almost any genre of movies!  

When Mulan goes into the room where her father keeps all of his gear for war the strings are mellow with some classic Chinese instruments, allowing you to feel the how Mulan thinks this is the only way she can really serve her family after she has practically destroyed their honor.  Then as the electronic synthesizers kick in, you begin to understand the determination the girl feels for her family and country as she cuts away her hair and becomes someone new.  The horns that come in later in the song add another layer of feeling to the music as she leaves the note for her father, making it final that she is going to leave to save his life and the lives of the Chinese people from the Huns.

 -The Little Mermaid: Main Title/Happy Ending (Alan Menken) – I cannot thank the film score community without mentioning the ever phenomenal Alan Menken.  (I have been blessed to be able to see this man perform live.)  He has written the soundtracks of our childhood as he has written the music for Hercules, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Tangled, and of course The Little Mermaid.

The piece starts off with chimes and flutes, allotting for the feeling of just how young Ariel is. The whimsical feel becomes even more intense as the vocals come in, showing you just how much of an imagination the girl has as she dreams of joining humans on the surface, with all of their strange inventions.  As the piece arrives at the crescendo, cymbals create the feeling of pure joy as Ariel marries the prince but as it slowly goes back into the strings and chimes from the beginning, there is a layer of sorrow as she leaves her father and her family behind to become fully human.  Without the music the final scene would be no more than a simple wedding with little feeling other than that of a newly married couple.

 -The Polar Express: Main Title (Alan Silvestri) – This Christmas film based off the children’s book has both an up lifting and ominous score. The soft vocals, strings, and piano in the beginning offer a feeling of uncertainty as a young boy tries to justify the existence of Santa Clause, despite there being no proof that he is real. As the bells and strings pick up you can understand the feeling of joy as he sees the train that is The Polar Express, the final evidence he needs to prove to himself that Santa isn’t just some made up children’s story.  The music manages to capture the fanciful feeling of a child while still maintaining the composure of a well respected Christmas film.

 -Interstellar: Quantifiable Connection (Hans Zimmer) – No composer differs more from the famous John Williams than Hans Zimmer. The fast paced piano and strings make you understand just how fleeting time can be to someone else even when it feels as if it is creeping by for you.  The rising tones help you to understand just how much the love that Cooper has for his daughter Murph manages to keep them connected, even when Coop is stuck inside a singularity.  He manages to find a way to contact his daughter and save the humans still living on Earth, and the tones in this particularly upbeat part of the soundtrack allow you to feel more than just a father’s pain from being separated from his children, but the joy he feels in knowing that he is able to save their lives and the lives of his race who would die otherwise.

 -Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire: Hogwart’s Hymn (Patrick Doyle) – Not only do the horns and strings give a sense of nostalgia to any true Harry Potter fan, but they manage to make the school itself feel like a living, breathing being.  (Some might even argue that it is…Room of Requirement)  This piece helps you to understand how Harry and his friends feel in the winter, leading up to the Yule Ball, not only trying to keep up with their studies but trying to partake in the festivities of the Triwizard Tournament, all the while the threat of Lord Voldemort hangs over their heads.  Still this piece manages to bring all of those emotions to light while still adding a prideful sense of serenity to the school.

 -Jurassic Park: Main Theme (John Williams) – The piano at the beginning of this piece helps you to understand the beauty and magnificence that the park is trying to create and show to the world.  As the strings come in to match the piano a magical feel is added to the movie as dinosaurs and humans walk the planet together for the first time.  At the crescendo when the bells and horns are added into the breathtaking composition you understand not only how amazing these creatures are but just how little control humans have over them, and the immense power they possess.  Next time you watch Jurassic Park imagine the scene where Alan Grant sees the dinosaurs for the first time without the music, I can guarantee you will want to go back and watch it again with the music, because it isn’t the same without it.

 -Jurassic World: As The Jurassic World Turns (Michael Giacchino) – The horns in the beginning offer an ominous feel to the movie as you know something will inevitably go wrong with the park.  Still the piece picks up using cymbals and trumpets to signify the vastness and magnificence of the park that has finally been opened to the public. The stings that come in as the track progresses gives you a feeling of insignificance in comparison to the science used to bring the majestic animals back to life.

 -The Rocketeer: Main Title (James Horner) – This is probably the least known movie on my list, but it holds the top spot in my heart. The piano in the beginning is just astounding, and as it leads into the strings that follow, you almost feel as if you are flying through the air.  The drops of bass horns allow for the feeling of darkness that you would definitely have if you were being chased by the Nazis because you had a jetpack that they were developing.  Still the light strings manage to give you a sense of suspense that is only intensified by the drums and horns that come in towards the middle of the piece.  As the track reaches its crescendo and goes back to the same rift of strings and chimes from the beginning, you have a wonderful sense of relief of escaping with your life.

 So my whole point of this post is to make sure that film score composers get the credit they deserve. They make all these astonishing compositions that can make you cry one moment and laugh the next and yet they almost never get recognized for their superb works!  So next time you watch a movie whether you’ve seen it before or not, I encourage you to listen to the music as well as the dialogue and find out who wrote it.  You never know, you might find that you like symphonic music more than you ever expected you would.

With that I say THANK YOU to John Williams, James Horner, Hans Zimmer, Michael Giacchino, Patrick Doyle, Alan Silvestri, Jerry Goldsmith, Murry Gold, Alan Menken, Steve Jablonsky, David Arnold, Michael Price, Thomas Newman, James Newton Howard, Howard Shore, and every other movie composer out there!  Movies wouldn’t be the same without you, and for that I thank you!

[fourlynchclover]

1-100

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it? marie, it’s fine it’s just a basic white girl middle name lmao

2. are you artistic? uhhh no lmao 

3. Have you had your first kiss? yes. unfortunately. 

4. What is your life goal? i want a big ass house a bae and some more dogs

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person? if youtubers count then yes vidcon as a whole 

6. Do you play any sports? i played baseball for 10 years but not anymore lmao

7. What's your worst fear? dolls

8. Who's your biggest inspiration? melissa mccarthy

9. Do you have any cool talents? i dont think so actually lmao

10. are you a morning person? fuck no

11. How do you feel about pet names? theyre cuuuute

12. Do you like to read? yes but also im lazy 

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life. i. dont know if any shows have changed my life 

14. Do you care about your follower count? not really im just here. chillin

15. What's the best dream you've had? i have no idea i dont remember a lot of my dreams lmao 

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender? yes

17. Do you have any pets? yes i have two dogs and a hamster lmao 

18. Are you religious? no 

19. Are you a people person? no

20. Are you considered popular? probably not i dont know. anyone 

21. What is one of your bad habits? crackin my knuckles 

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable? uhhh. i have no idea actually 

23. What would you name your children? victoria lynn and michael patrick 

24. Who's your celebrity crush? melissa mccarthy lmao 

25. What's your best subject? like in school?? idk english 

26. Dogs or cats? dogs

27. most used social media besides tumblr? snapchat 

28. best friends name? bella 

29. who does your main family consist of? my mom dad brother and sister really 

30. Chocolate or sugar? chocolate

31. have you ever been on a date? not officially

32. Do you like rollercosters? YES

33. Can you swim? yes i am a mermaid

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse? die

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder? depression anxiety bipolar and probably . more 

36. Are your parents together? no

37. What's your favourite colour? blue 

38. What country are you from/do you live in? usa usa usa usa

39. Favourite singer? adele 

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day? probably not but maybe 

41. Do you like dresses? no. not at all 

42. Favourite song right now? in my feelings by lana del rey

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all

44. How old were you when you first got your period? i think i was 11

45. Have you ever shot a gun? a nerf gun lmao

46. Have you ever done yoga? not officially 

47. Are you a horror girl? YES

48. Are you good at giving advice? probably not 

49. Tell us a story about your childhood. my family used to have a camp up in the woods and it was where i got drunk for the first time and it was. a lot lmao 

50. How are you doing today? i’m a lil anxious but im fine lmao

51. Were you a cute kid? YEAH

52. Can you dance? no lmao

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing? i have no idea

54. Have you ever dyed your hair? i mean its blue rn so 

55. What colour are your eyes? brown. ew 

56. What's your favourite animal? POLAR BEARS

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself? i dont. think so

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? i think so

59. Do you have good friends? YES I LOVE YALL

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group? literally everyone im friends with

61. What's your favourite class? english was

62. List all the tv shows you are watching - pretty little liars is literally the only show im watching

63. Are you organized? not. at all. 

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion? moana it was good 

67. Which tv character do you relate to most? molly flynn 

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness? anxiety and money 

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? TRAVELING AND MEETING ALL MY INTERNET BBIES 

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die? i have no idea wtf 

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you? i dont know lmao 

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently? every fucking thing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one? probably yes

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new? in june i went to california it was lit

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind? my bedroom lmao

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today? i posted some videos of my dogs on snapchat. i need to go viral and be famous

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid? a teacher 

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking? honestly. i dont know 

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have? thursday and last monday .,,

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence. i dont fuckin know tho 

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like? I HAVE NO IDEA 

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity? probs fallin in love an gettin heartbroken lmao 

83. How would you spend a billion dollars? i have no fucking clue

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future? future

85. What motivates you to succeed? nothing lmaooo

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most? i. dont know

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why? WOODS WOODS WOODS WOODS

88. Do you believe in life after death? yes

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they? none of them honestly lmao 

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory? i dont even know if i have one

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why MELISSA MCCARTHY I JUST WANNA . SEE HER. HEAR HER VOICE IN PERSON

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy? idk i do that a lot lmao

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life? i dont. know

94. What do you think happens after we die? anything tbh 

95. What would you do if you would be invisible? free travelling and lots of stealing lmao

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try? express. feelings ???? 

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring? YES LIKE THE SIMS IRL 

98. How did your first crush develop? i dont fuckin remember 

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it? anxiety 

100. Do you live or do you just exist? im just out here floatin through space yall idk whats goin on 

[newstfionline]

On Inauguration Day, Washington offers portrait of a polarized America

CS Monitor, January 20, 2017

WASHINGTON--”We all want the same thing,” President Donald Trump said Friday to members of Congress and other dignitaries. “We’re all good people, whether you’re a Republican or Democrat, it doesn’t make any difference. We’re going to get along.”

President Trump’s message of goodwill at the traditional post-inaugural congressional luncheon seemed more an expression of hope over reality, in a political system that has grown increasingly polarized over the years.

And as violence broke out on the streets of Washington Friday--away from the inaugural festivities but aimed at marring an otherwise orderly transfer of presidential power--it was clear that words alone will not be enough to heal the nation’s divisions.

Protesters threw rocks, smashed windows, and lit small fires; police deployed tear gas and flash bangs. Six officers were injured, and 217 protesters were arrested. The last time there was large-scale unrest at an inauguration was in 1969, when antiwar protests led to dozens of arrests.

In all, it made for moments of anger and frustration, but violence didn’t typify the day. Groups of people wearing “Make America Great Again” caps walked by anti-Trump groups wearing pink knitted hats--the headgear of choice for Saturday’s big women’s march--and seemed to largely ignore each other.

Inauguration Day, of course, brings many who wish to celebrate and support the man they sent to Washington. Theirs were expressions of joy on a day meant to celebrate a hallmark of American democracy--the peaceful transfer of power.

The Graham family--mom, dad, and college student son--drove in overnight from Bristol, Tenn., to show their support for the new president, waving Trump flags and wearing Trump hats and T-shirts.

None had ever attended an inauguration before. So why now?

“Because I’m a huge supporter of Donald Trump, and I think he’ll make America great again,” said Steve Graham, an electrician.

How? Mr. Graham has a ready list: fixing the economy, securing the border, strengthening the military. “I think he’s a man of his word, and he’ll hold true to it.”

His wife, Darlene Graham, a realtor, says her No. 1 reason for supporting Trump is “his stand with Jesus Christ and his support for the state of Israel.”

Mr. Graham expects quick action, and quick results. Ms. Graham gives Trump a year to improve the nation. And son Justin says he’ll assess Trump’s performance by the midterm elections in 2018.

Everybody, it seemed, was eager to express their opinions--with both supporters and detractors expressing outsize views about the man and what he can accomplish.

Mary Moga did not vote for Trump. Nor did she vote for Hillary Clinton. And yet, standing before the festooned Capitol as the seated inaugural audience began to break up, she described the experience as “electric” and “surreal.” She came, she said, because “it’s about the US.”

But she also came to march. Ms. Moga, who is from Seattle, and her cousin, Debby Burger of San Diego, both plan to take part in the Women’s March on Washington Saturday. Ms. Burger campaigned for Hillary Clinton.

Just as a reporter asked what they thought of the speech, Moga’s daughter--one of five children she’s raised--passed by answering, “It was a joke.”

Cousin Burger chimed in. “He’s promising all these things he never could do.”

“I just hope and pray he surrounds himself with quality people,” added Moga.

Chad Suenram, standing rows away from where Donald Trump had just given his inauguration speech, came away feeling completely the opposite.

He says he was “blown away.” What he really liked was Trump’s message about “the positivity of the US prospering, of everyone growing together and just bringing back America.”

The promise of prosperity was the main reason Mr. Suenram, who has four kids, voted for Trump.

The Kansan, wearing an “All Lives Matter” button on his sweatshirt, says he came from “a struggle,” growing up in a trailer park. He started his own business in landscaping and has combined it with a foreclosure business. Through that, he’s seen a lot of families get kicked out of their homes.

“Like Barack Obama said, ‘It’s time for change,’ “ Suenram grinned. The businessman, who jumped on a plane at the last minute to get to Washington, echoed much of what Trump said in his inaugural speech. His greatest hope for the years ahead is that America prosper, “and for the wealth to come back to the common people.”

For Gordon Swanson, a retired Boeing employee from Everett, Wash., who flew in two days ago to celebrate, the joy of watching Trump came with a bitter note. He hadn’t put on his crisp, red “Make America Great Again” cap until he arrived at Union Station that morning, when inauguration revelers began to arrive.

“I knew I potentially would be challenged by somebody” who didn’t agree with Trump, he said. “It didn’t used to be this way,” he lamented, saying that the country had turned too far to the left under President Obama, whom he described as “negligent.”

This day was about the future, he said.

“I hope his nominee for the Supreme Court will have a big effect. I’m not so worried about myself, but I’ve got three grandkids,” he said, perched on a stool beside an eatery at Union Station, Washington’s main train station.

Outside the secure inauguration area, the scene was dramatically different. By early afternoon, thousands of protesters walked down I Street toward Franklin Square waving posters for Black Lives Matter, Dakota Access Pipeline resistance, and lesbian, gay, transgender, and bisexual rights.

The march seemed orderly enough--thousands of people sticking to the streets while pedestrians took pictures from the sidewalks, some of them wearing “Make America Great Again” hats. But an undercurrent of hostility eventually broke through.

A nearby Starbucks and Bank of America ATM station had their glass windows shattered by protesters. Armed guards stood nearby to prevent looting, and stores put up makeshift “closed” signs--though customers were still inside.

Pro- and anti-Trump chants sprang up, with one protester telling a young man in a red hat, “Join us. We are doing this for you, too.”

Eventually, some of the demonstrators began throwing rocks and bottles at police officers. Newspaper vending machines outside The Washington Post were tipped over and set on fire. At other locations around the city, protesters tried to block access to various inaugural events, though there were no other reports of violence.