#The Look [Tm] and also the elaborate secret plotting

[bumblingbabooshka]

People who Definitely Aren’t Lying or Planning or Plotting or Scheming 

This screenshot made me laugh so damn hard I had to add it in here

[honeysukel]

Some things for my Honeysuckle AU!

My other post on this au is getting some attention so I figured I’d elaborate, mostly on Chloe’s appearance in this au and some of the others too

So first off, in the show they’re 14, in this au Chloe runs away at 16. At this age I don’t think she’d change very much from who we see in the show, following the same styles and trends she probably did before. After she runs away however, I think she starts changing little things about herself to make her less a visually the Mayor Of Paris’ Runaway Daughter.

So she stops straightening her hair, it makes her life easier since she’s hotel hopping in some of the towns and cities just outside of Paris and doesn’t always have access to a straightener. She doesn’t have the spare change to buy products that actually work well for her hair type though, so it’s just frizzy, and it’s frizzy when she first reunited with her former classmates and heroes of Paris at 18.

She dies the underside of her hair brown, and has reverse skunk stripes with the brown on top of her head too. She also begins looking into piercings she wants to get. At 18 she has 5 facial piercings, those being a smiley, a bridge, a septum, a lip and an eyebrow piercing, all of which she got at some point during her time away. She also of course has a few ear piercings of course. She plans to get tattoos once she’s 18 and financially stable lol (I might give her a split tongue too, this is mostly just me projecting what body mods I want lol)

She changes the way she dresses too, leaning away from expensive prep things to “patchwork fashion” of things she finds in charity shops, things that don’t necessarily go but she makes work. (In this au she’s a lesbian, and has come to terms with it by 16 but has never told anyone you can just kind of get a vibe based on her clothes lol)

She doesn’t wear makeup as much anymore, especially not full faces (too expensive) and she doesn’t tan/fake tan anymore. (I feel like she probably did that in the show lol) Chloe also has loads of freckles, a secret which in canon timeline she would have taken to the grave, but in this au has grown to like them

Shes BUFF! In most hotels she stayed at on her Extended Surprise Vacation tm, they allowed free access to the gyms. Chloe would have taken them up on this offer since she was probably extremely bored from her newfound lack of access to good technology (had to take the chips out of her devices cos she was worried she’d be tracked. Honestly she might’ve thrown away the whole phone lol)

She’s also tall! She’s tall in the show, or at least taller than the other girls, but I’m making her like 6 foot in this you’re welcome :))

She’s basically just a little more alt in this au, having self reflected and experimented tonnes in her time away!

I’m getting tired so I’ll leave it here for now, I’ll make separate posts for Chloe’s motivations, other characters older appearances, potential plot point and how her old classmates react to her reappearance

I also plan to draw things, I just haven’t yet lmao

[crimeronan]

Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??

it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so.  yes okay.

technical stuff

(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)

cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago

perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes 

rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again

and over and over and over some more

seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning

in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post

clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold

the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world.  follow your dreams

sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type

but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad

(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content.  in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)

also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony

enter julian blackthorn!

from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass.  which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective

(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype.  mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that.  yet another post)

julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere

so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right

immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags

except that he is A Mess

and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use

moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale.  both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc

i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts

so we’re flipping the narrative

instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAT IS FUN AS FUCK

then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)

julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work

his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him

which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change

i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck

probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis

characterization stuff

(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)

i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh

u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension

from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset

he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances

his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness??  rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon

his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family??  rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him

his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life??  rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society

the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry??  once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely

the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks??  all that repression baybey.  this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years.  every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection

julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal

as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility

he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god

the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far.  not this far”

and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc

(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)

it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme

i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough

and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc.  i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc.  but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me.  he’s so fucking good

[filthy-reckless-rp]

♛ Spotted on the Upper East Side…

Name: Caisson Andrews Pronouns: He/Him Age: 20 years old Hometown: Upper East Side, NY Occupation: Sophomore at MIT Social Status: Insider Faceclaim: Thomas Doherty

Who Is Caisson?

“I want to riot. Let’s start a riot, me and you,’cause a riot’s overdue.”

Caisson Andrews, you really are a little--- Nevermind. I should probably give you some credit for getting so close (yet so far) from discovering who I really am. Without you, Jesse’s little coup d'état would have fell flat on its face and even if it hadn’t, they wouldn’t have gotten so close. Of course, you’ve always been tenacious. Annoying. You’re smart but you can never bring yourself to miss an opportunity to be a smartass. Causing chaos is your favourite pastime and there’s rumours that you might actually be an evil mastermind. You love pulling elaborate pranks, playing around with chemistry sets and other people’s minds. You can pull out the charm when it matters but you have a hard time taking anyone else seriously (since you think you’re smarter than everyone else). I can only imagine the trouble you’ve gotten into undetected since I’ve been gone. Believe me, I’ll be seeing you soon. XOXO ---Gossip Girl

A Little Extra

Caisson Andrews has always been too smart for his own good. He’s quick to figure other people out, rarely surprised or shocked by anyone or anything and he’s seen every plot twist coming at least five minutes before everyone else. Sounds exhausting, right? Well, more like boring in Caisson’s opinion. That’s why he’s always trying to stay entertained, seeking out something- anything- that’ll thrill him. That might be where his penchant for minor explosions came from but let’s not get into it. Caisson likes to push other people’s buttons, figure out their secrets and decide whether or not to use them for good or evil. As an Andrews, there’s expectations on both him and his brother, Oliver, but Caisson has never had a problem with excelling. With winning. Which is handy because it keeps his parents off his back especially since he decided to become BFF with the family’s sworn enemy: a Baizen. The Baizen-Andrews business and family feud has been another that seems to have gone on for generations. The idea is that every Baizen and every Andrews will eventually contribute to the family businesses and scheme to outshine the other. Things can get a little intense and well, playing dirty is hardly frowned upon. Caisson doesn’t really want to play by his family’s rules but he also knows that the smart move is to not rock the boat too much. For example, he can be all buddy with Lucas Baizen all he wants but when push comes to shove, they will expect him to on the right side. As for anything more than friendship, with any Baizen, that’s just asking for instant trouble with a capital ‘Disowned’. Caisson tries not to dwell though. In fact, his exterior is kept so cool and so calm, you’d never know he was bothered by anything. You’d be wrong of course but just like Gossip Girl always says, that’s one secret he’ll never tell.

What Does Gossip Girl Have On Them?

Oh boy, was Caisson ever a part of the Original Takedown(TM). He was only a little bit interested at first and then Gossip Girl started sending out texts, coaxing and lightly threatening her beloved Upper East Siders to stop the gossip drought. That made it all the more interesting and suddenly Caisson was in. He was the brains, the hacker, electronically setting out to end Gossip Girl’s tyranny (blah blah blah). He even found it- in theory- the laptop. Caisson couldn’t help himself, he started to rake around in it, looking more for secrets than shutting Gossip Girl down. Unfortunately, the laptop self-destructed and GG disappeared after that. C’est la vie. As for what GG has on Caisson, let’s just say his romantic life has been a mess... Note one Vegas hook up (with rings) and kissing Elizabeth Baizen!

Connections

Oliver Andrews - the big bro! Caisson was always closer to Oli and Oli’s friends than anyone in his own year (except Luke, of course). They’re really close and always have each other’s back.

Agnes Andrews - the wild child cousin!

Lucas Baizen - the best friend, partner-in-crime, basically the other half. These two are always together, plotting. Luke is the planner, Caisson puts things into actions. Spends most of the time in the day with Luke. 

Elizabeth Baizen - Elizabeth is...endlessly fascinating. Caisson thought he had Elizabeth all figured out but he doesn’t know the first thing which only makes him all the more interested.

[glowingbadger]

Can I ask…what your favorite route is in Three houses? 0 shame to admit azure moon is my favorite and I really wish Ashe or Dima or Sylvain….ok, everyone really, were all in another new route where everyone lives. Azure moon, in my mind, is one of the best routes and I really enjoyed the development of Dimitri, Sylvain, and the rest of the BL/AW/GD house in the route. I have played all the others and it’s still my fave. Ty for writing the Sylvain and Dima HCs last minute. It really warmed the heart and I enjoy reading all your content. 💙

Listen. I've played every ounce of content that FE3H has to offer, and I have some Opinions TM

I'm the kind of person who relentlessly criticizes the things I love, and I mean that in the most unflattering way possible lol like I'm a pain in the ass to watch movies with because of it. So I need you to know that when I say that FE3H disappoints me at every turn, it's only because I LOVE this game enough to be disappointed by looking at what it COULD have been. So here are my route thoughts:

(with kind of mild spoilers? But honestly not much)

Azure Moon: The best emotional gratification in the game by far. Dimitri's arc is Shakespearean and beautifully handled. Also contains a little segment I like to call "Why Are You Booing Felix He's Right"- where Felix is consistently the only person with the balls and sense to openly call out Dimitri when he's being a piss baby and everyone's like "God Felix you're so shitty and mean" and I'm like "HE'S RIGHT THOUGH." But the way the characters have real, developed chemistry with one another makes this route really easy to emotionally invest yourself in. However, you also learn next to nothing about the actual grander plot of the game in this route, which makes it feel very unsubstantial in a lot of ways.

Verdant Wind: In my opinion, the best executed overall in terms of generally accomplishing everything it set out to. In particular, I'm glad that you deal with the Agarthans in this route, since that's the only true win condition IMO. Claude is extremely charming as a point character, but his political and societal beliefs keep being briefly brought up and never really elaborated on. He keeps being made to do stupid shit (like fighting both Edie and Dimitri in that three way battle- which he WOULD NOT DO fight me about it) because the plot demands it, and that results in his character remaining a bit more shallow than it should be.

Silver Snow: More or less the same as the above, and I mostly loved it very subjectively because I love Seteth, but that's not quantifiable feedback lol. I actually personally believe that this route should have been retooled as an unlockable "good" ending, where you manage a secret alliance between Edie and the church faction (as lead by Seteth on the practical end and Byleth as a figure head) to deal with Rhea's bullshit and the Agarthan's. I have like a whole plot in my head for this, don't get me started.

Crimson Flower: Oof Crimson Flower. Ooooh, Crimson Flower. I made a half hour long speedpaint video about my feelings on this route. It promised so much and delivered so, so little. The fact that you don't actually deal with the Agarthans in-game and it's just handwaved as "oh Hubert will deal with it, don't worry, it's totally okay that we're siding with them even though they're objectively horribly evil." The fact that nothing actually ever goes wrong for Edelgard (other than the token deaths of NPCs we don't care about) and you just steamroll the continent. Edie and Huberts A support that makes me want to vomit into space. There was so much potential here, but FE3H was not prepared to deliver on it. The result is that I personally would have preferred if this were (portrayed as) just a villain route. So... I guess the answer to your question is that I like and dislike things about every route, but I can say that CF is my least favorite lol. I guess SS is my "favorite," but only because of extra Seteth screen time tbh. Overall though, FE3H really is the story of an incredible and compelling cast stuck in a tragic mess of a story lol

[eerna]

“me freshman year of high school? yeah thats a protag” PLEASE elaborate

You got it. I shall now dramatically overshare how cliche my first high school was. God I went to a different place writing this. Watch me wake up tomorrow and delete it in panic, but just for tonight, let us relish in the drama

So, at 15 I was weirder, more shy and unaware of my own worth, had a resting bitchface and a 500 page book in hands at any given moment, had like 2 friends, kept a detailed diary, wanted to become an architect, had a not-like-other-girls mentality, and looked EXACTLY my age. Here, you enter high school based on your academic success and career path, and none of my friends made it into my Wow We’re So Smart school, which means that year I had the opportunity for a completely fresh start. I did it by spending the year growing into my very feminine nature, learning how to break my Cold Honors Student exterior and actually make friends.  What a great premise for a high school drama heroine.

Drama plot no 1 was the BOY PLOT YAYYY but not really. Looking back, there was 5 recurring boys interested in me, and it ranged from childhood friends whose advances I was completely oblivious to, to jock classmates who hit on me head on for the first time in my life. But, being your everyday YA heroine, I didn’t really get it, because WHY would ANYONE be interested in borin ol me??? I must be SEEING THINGS~~ Enter resident Mean Girl- she sat behind me in class, our surnames were next to each other so we’d always get paired for assistant duty, and had her gang of annoying rich fashion girls who thought they were better than everyone else even though no one else did. She dated both of the jocks during the year, and the second one became her serious boyfriend for the rest of the year. Now, I have no idea what exactly went down, but apparently she couldn’t get over her boyfriend(s) paying attention to me, so she started doing the typical Mean Girl spiel. She gossiped, mocked, threw eraser particles at me, cut my hair when I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t take it silently, but I didn’t exactly fight her, either, because, um….. Her precious boyfriend was abusive. We all knew it. We all pitied her. What was I supposed to do but ignore those petty provocations.

Drama plot no 2 was when one of my middle school friend started acting like a movie cliche, too, and was personally offended I chose not to do it myself. Without going into detail, at the beginning of the year I was convinced I had to stay with her or she would do something horrible to herself, but she was a horribly unhealthy influence on me, and my heart was broken when we parted ways. (She’s great now btw!! She found help and is happy and content) 

Drama plot no 3 was that, the longer the year went on, the more I realized I hated being there. Among the students, I was known as the smartest kid of the year, but suddenly I was facing- *shudders*- S E X I S M. My teachers were ignoring me, the rest of the Smart Squad TM (fully composed of boys) did too. Once we got a special assignment for math, and I uncharacteristically teamed up with the boys to solve it. I was the one to crack it, only to discover they took my work and presented it as their own, and I had no proof to go against a gaggle of teachers’ pets. 

Drama plot no 4 was just a lot of parties and going clubbing for the first time, ya know, the music montage parts of movies except it alternated between me having fun and crying in the bathroom bc I kept getting overwhelmed. I never got further than tipsy, though, so I don’t have a corresponding story for that part of YA experience, sorry :///

There were a lot of small things too, like the time a friend shared a hotel room with the jock bf during a school trip and he kicked him out to spend a wonderful night with the Mean Girl, so he joined our sleepover and there were like 6 of us in one small bed and we were all cramped but happy. That same night we had a forbidden party in our room, and had lookouts for security and secret signals and had to hide from lights being shined through our window. 

First day of school, I realized I already knew Mean Girl’s best friend, but not because I’d met her before or even seen her picture, but because one of my middle school friends knew her and her descriptions throughout the years were incredibly vivid (she hated her guts and went on rants about her ugly nose mole - which was not that large - and her inability to stop talking about her sister - during her “tell something about yourself” she showed us a note her sister, who’d graduated from our school, left in her pencil case - and how annoying her trumpet voice was - self explanatory). There was that time a friend’s friend asked me for nudes and, after a small heart attack, I spammed him with pictures of gorillas in heat.

Then, the obligatory sex ed episode, when the Mean Girl and her squad, being the only sexually active girls, bragged high and low abt some stuff I knew wasn’t biologically correct but had no interest to argue. I also found friends who liked anime, and we went to local cons together and had a blast. On my sixteenth birthday, I returned from the lunch break only to find the entire class (or most of them, I guess) standing around a desk and singing Happy Birthday, as a cupcake with a candle waited for me, and ngl I cried a lil bit. For New Years’ I had to attend three parties throughout the night bc I didn’t expect to have any plans, so I accepted three different offers without thinking (funny story, I didn’t get the photos from one of them until a month ago. Talk about a blast from the past). The first day after spring break, when a friend intercepted me as I was entering the classroom and requested me to close my eyes. I refused, very suspicious and caught by surprise, but he kept perstering me until I reluctantly did it, only to find an Eiffel Tower keychain in my hand- a gift from his vacation.

And the triumphant ending of my YA story, the conclusion of the character arc, came in October of the following year, when I realized I was so successful in reinventing myself my life flipped upside down and I decided I was more suited to a life of pursuing art and small pleasures than having to spend my life proving myself to people who didn’t make me happy. It was a tearful goodbye, no one really understood why I did it, but I transferred to music school, and from then on, my life became HSM and was like ten times less dramatic and wayyyy happier. The end

[nickywhoisi]

Omigosh, this is great. Headcannon time I'm divin' in! *sploosh*

My version of humanoid!Gordon, when it comes to cooking, is secretive. He's someone whom the rest of the team really assumed would not be a cook at all. They automatically percieved him as above - can't cook anything, because he's a big posh snobby bloke who's too above flittering about in the kitchen preparing, eugh, Homo Sapien Foods(tm)...and James, master of coworker impressions, was probably the one who started this fake take.

(The context of this is that my designs for the cast are like...not exactly giant robots, but above average metal golems. Not sure if it's going to be a jointed bot design or chrome skin design, but the point is they all are not humans but are built to be like them anyway, and have wildly varied opinions about food in general, which I'll post after this one!)

So anyway Gords was pinned by nearly all of his coworkers as a stubborn fancylad who's allergic to doing boring menial tasks, and even the more level headed ones like Edward, Toby, Rusty, Daisy and Boco whom didn't assume this...still weren't exactly sure what his take on it was. But nobody so far has asked him? and don't seem to care to at the moment. What Gordon actually does...is food art! And he's okay at it! Doesn't make grandiose displays or large five star feasts, it is actually more enjoyable for him to make small and focused pieces, like cupcake decorations (but it's those ELABORATE ones that look too detailed to eat! you know the ones there are all sorts of pictures) or little steak cubes cooked medium rare or with perfectly crisped edges and rare inside and expertly positioned garnishes. Gordon takes great pride in this controlled, subtle, experimental cooking of his, and it's the one time he can do something very creative! It is also something he finds relaxing and quite dignified, and so of course he goes all in with it. When he's finished working on a creation, he murmurs to himself, "Ahh...excellent, as always. Made to perfection...well done, old boy." >:3c what a dorkus

Being an artisan chef is a hobby that, while he enjoys it a great deal, actually keeps very secret from everyone as he eventually learns of their stories about him 'not liking to cook'. He's initially chuffed...but then has a thought. Strangely finding it too good to burst their bubble right now, Gordon decides to go along with it and hold the truth over all their heads. Often this has been right under their noses to delightful effect! One time, he gave Henry and Thomas some custom made mousse desserts for the holidays, and he had them specially packaged in a shop and pretended that he ordered them from the bakery. The two loved them anyway, and Gordon's little hidden grin just said it all as he lapped up the praise he got for his desserts that eve...or rather, that the unnamed patissiere got for his desserts that eve. ;) It's his secret prank on them I guess!

But just imagine if they ever found out right? I can only headcannon that someone driven to find out the truth might, or just satisfy curiosity. I have decided Boco would be the most likely. He strikes me as a big guy but knows how to move around quietly, and he chooses to investigate when he sees...Gordon? Going into the KITCHEN? o.o The plot thickens. And there, Boco sees the guy all content, making his latest masterpiece, in a quiet moment while everyone else is away. Gordon usually picks times when he knows everyone is not likely to burst through the kitchen door. But Boco is pleasantly suprised to know where those "take outs" and "gifts from the store" really come from! And he quietly watches him work for a while until the piece is done I suppose.

Then...come the next time, Gordon offers him some "take out from a classy restaurant he knows" while they're on a break from work, Boco is delighted to see it's the same one he saw Gordon make! But he wisely knows to keep up the act and takes it without a word. The only hint he drops afterward?

"...You know, Gordon, this was splendid. I should really like to go to that restaurant you got this from."

"Oh, well, I'm afraid it's a little out of the way. Quite a distance. Only someone like me could make it over there, a-as an expressman, of course."

"Out of the way, you say? Here on little Sodor? I find that unlikely. How far could it be?"

"*ahem!* Y-you see, it's...far off to the England gateway. It is nowhere near your usual railway, Boco. I am the fastest engine who goes towards that...line. You, um, would simply not be able to make it, you see."

"Is that right? Hm...what a shame, that I can't see for myself." And Boco just gives him THAT LOOK. Gordon is having a shoujou manga moment. Boco quietly gets up before the other man has a chance to ask him to explain himself...he just smooth strides outta there with that knowing smile and leaves Gordie flustered for a whole lot of reasons at once.

there are two kinds of humanized gordon:

- cant cook for shit

- head chef

and both of these are in character and I cant decide whether my own human gordon can cook or not .

on one hand, gordon is refined and competent- and it seems obvious that he would know (and boast about his skill). But on the other hand. Its also in character for him to have not learned and probably never have tried, for fear of making a fool of himself burning toast.

Maybe Gordon did it once, and it was a disaster he refuses to talk about. And he’d never admit to it because some well meaning soul (like Edward) would try to teach him and he’d be too stubborn and embarrassed to get any farther than boiling water

theres also the middle option of gordon knowing how to make exactly one thing. Toby asks him “can you cook at all” and he just replies “yes” and does not elaborate. He gets put in charge of breakfast and has no idea how to back out of it. so everyone gets exactly 2 eggs and exactly two pieces of toast the next morning. He winds up having to do this more often and kind of impostor syndromes his way through cooking

toby: youre not so bad at this, really

gordon: I have no idea what im doing

…

the one thing other than eggs and toast that he definitively knows how to make is out-of-the-bag frozen chicken nuggets. this is secret though. if thomas or james finds out that he gets up at 4am sometimes to bake them and eat an entire bag before everyone wakes up, he’d probably die of embarrassment