#The House of Heterodyne

[annoyinglandmagazine]

Caranthir at the annual Feanorian strategy meeting: You know, we could just chuck it all and turn to piracy. It would be a LOT easier.

[girl-genius-comic-tourney]

Round 2

[inbarfink]

It’s really fascinating to compare the way Agatha handles the Heterodyne Legacy compared to her father and uncle. Because these are the two known generations of ‘Heroic’ Heterodynes after a long, long legacy of the Heterodyne family being known primarily as Evil Bastards - but they have such a totally opposite relationship with that villainous legacy.

Bill and Barry grew up deep inside that Evil Heterodyne Legacy and know all about how truly rotten it really is. Their father was an Old Heterodyne to the bone and an Extremely Reprehensible Human Being. Like, not just Cartoon Evil Overlord stuff - according to the Novels, he forced Bill and Barry’s mom to marry him by threatening her family. And he tried to kill them because they weren’t evil enough to his tastes. 

And when their mom killed him to protect her sons, the Castle killed her in retaliation. The very manifestation of the Heterodyne Legacy has cost them their beloved mother who just saved their life. And all of this in addition to the fact a non-evil Heterodyne was really an unthinkable concept when the Boys started - meaning they had to work extra hard to distance themselves from their family if they wanted anyone outside of Mechanicsburg to trust them.

And Heterodyne Boys worked very very hard to prove to the world that they’re not monsters. Both to fight off against the constant suspicions that they were monsters, and because they most likely wanted as little to do with their father’s legacy as Spark-ly possible. For them the Heterodyne Legacy was mostly kind of a Curse, the thing that tormented their mother and killed her and almost killed them, the thing that makes people wary of them.

And as such, they distanced themselves from anything that’s even remotely to do with that old legacy of monsters, from anything evil or scary or messy or ugly. Much to the chagrin of the Castle, the House of Heterodyne’s many other monsters, the Jager Horde Mechanicsburg’s proud Evil Minion population and many others who felt abandoned by them for the sake of PR.

Then there’s Agatha Heterodyne. And it’s not just that Agatha grew up in a post-Heterodyne-Boys world where the general populace associates the family name less with evil barbarous mad kings and more with good-natured heroism. Where even those who remember the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Where even those who would like her to be like the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her some wiggle room to express herself....

It is all of that, but more importantly Agatha didn’t grow up as a Heterodyne at all.

She grew up as Agatha Clay, with the Spark-Suppressing Locket that dulled her mind and made her a miserable klutzy mess who couldn’t do anything right. She grew up hating the constant feeling of being powerless.

And discovering that she’s a Heterodyne came up… pretty close to realizing she’s a Spark, and both of these revelations gave her a certain kind of Power that she never got to have before. She is now both a powerful Spark and a powerful political player in this grand Europa political chess board. 

And as much as she has the same heroic values and upbringing as the Boys did (courtesy of Barry and the Construct Duo), not growing up so up-close-and-personal with the worst consequences of the Old Heterodyne’s evil means she’s not as immediately repulsed by it like the Boys were. 

She encountered all of these old monstrous pieces of the Heterodyne Legacy - the Jagers, the Castle, Mechanicsburg, even just the fear her name can put into people’s hearts - not as the Evil Legacy Forced Upon Her. But stuff that was taken away from her, and she had to earn back. And in a world stacked so heavily against her, so determined to rob her of her agency and newfound sense of power, these things represent the assertion and security of her power.

For the Heterodyne Boys, the worst thing they could ever imagine being was monsters - like their father and the rest of their family was. For Agatha Heterodyne, the worst thing she could imagine is being powerless again. She would take being seen as a monster a thousand times over being condescended and ignored ever again. 

Being seen as a monster isn’t actually all that bad at all, she discovered. 

All of these things together make Agatha not quite the second generation of Actually Heroic Heterodyne or just another link in the Old Heterodyne Legacy - but another new kind of Heterodyne altogether. One that can both retain a moral code and embrace the family’s monstreness at the same time. 

[greenygal]

POV: You are Dimo. You are a Jäger, one of a group who are ferociously loyal to their Heterodyne masters and famously social with each other. You have always had these touchstones to lean on.

Except…suddenly there aren’t any Heterodynes. Everything is in chaos and a mysterious enemy is ravaging Europa. For everyone’s sake, the Jägergenerals make a deal to serve under a new master, Baron Wulfenbach.

Except…the Jägers are still loyal to the House of Heterodyne. So to honor that loyalty, you volunteer to go looking for a Heterodyne. You know, in case one is hidden behind the couch cushions or whatever. And it’s rough! You are officially detached from the Jägers. You can’t come back unless you find a stray Heterodyne, whom you have no reason to think actually exists, so you’re probably going to be out here forever or until you die. Which is a real possibility, because everybody in Europa hates Jägers due to all those centuries serving some of the worst sparks in Europa. (Which, all right, is fair, but still. It’s hurtful.) But you have your fellow volunteers, a little squad of three. You have another Jäger, Jenka, checking in periodically and generally riding herd. And somewhere out there are the rest of the Jägers and the Jägergenerals, doing fine. And over the years you adapt to independence; you learn to plan, and you even find yourself giving orders to the others sometimes.

And then you find an actual Heterodyne, holy shit! She’s eighteen, alone, and green as grass, but she’s got steel in her spine and she’s a crazy strong spark; you have a new mistress! Best day ever!

Except…she gets implanted with the mind of The Enemy. That’s not great. (This happened to her after you found her. You Have Failed Your Heterodyne. ETA: Also you only know about it because you listened sneakily at the door. You’re not sure this is proper Jäger behavior.) But never mind that, she’s got it under control, you all get to Mechanicsburg and she kicks ass and does SCIENCE! and fixes the Castle and reclaims the city and at the end of it she is secure as the new Heterodyne of Mechanicsburg.

Except…

Except then something happens to Mechanicsburg. Is it permanent? Dunno. But the Heterodyne was in there. The Jägergenerals were in there. Anyone in authority in Mechanicsburg was in there. Even Baron Wulfenbach was in there.

A bunch of Jägers were not in there. And they don’t know what to do without someone giving them orders, and…look, you didn’t mean to become a General. Honest. But Jenka’s off monitoring the situation in the rest of Europa, and the only remaining Jägergeneral has somehow gone undercover on the personal staff of the new Baron. They gotta be where they are, and you gotta be where you are, managing dozens of increasingly desperate Jägers and human refugees and trying to figure out what the fuck to do next.

And then the Heterodyne shows up somehow! All is not lost! She’s determined to fix everything! And someone else can be in charge now! Yay!

Except…remember the Enemy? Yeah. She’s still in the Heterodyne’s head. There are things that aren’t safe for her to know. So you have to keep secrets from your Heterodyne, and manage those things yourself without her catching on. It’s hard, but you do it. You do it so well, in fact, that you have a sinking feeling that people are just going to keep asking you to be responsible for things. You’re doomed.

POV: You are Dimo, and you need a drink. And a vacation.

…you’ll probably get the drink?

[big-ass-magnet]

Bill would have made a great old-school Heterodyne, apparently.

Can you imagine if Teodora had failed? If Bill was the very good Heterodyne he was always meant to be?

(He did try, really he did, out of affection for his mother if nothing else, but then Father would always come striding in and shout first one to the torture room gets to throw the knife switch! and what kind of ten year old would be able to sit and listen to lectures on compassion in the face of such temptation?)

The Heterodyne Boys are the terrors of Europa, riding into battle side-by-side. The last thing many a terrified innocent sees is the boys giving their victorious thumbs up, just as the fire comes raining down.

Bill would still fall for Lucrezia, but instead of trying to turn her to the side of Good, he is enthralled by her evil and she by his strength and power. Love is as blinding to the Evil as it is to the Good, and he doesn't see her for what she is, even when the rest of the town does.

(Not that anyone is more likely to tell an Evil Bill his wife is the bad kind of crazy, not when he'd react with less "quiet disapproval" and more "catapult you into the sun".)

Lucrezia is still Lucrezia and she craves control and power and dominance and she would probably be driven up the wall by her darling ruthless William allowing the Castle and the Jägers and the seneschal to snark and argue and this town is supposed to be slavishly loyal; where is the blind obedience, where is the trembling deference?

The "Other" attack still happens. Bill is still driven half-mad by grief. (Or perhaps half-sane.) Bill swears bloody revenge, Bill is going to find the Spark who did this and wipe them from existence.

And then the strangest thing happens.

Suddenly, the Heterodyne riding in at the head of a Jäger horde means a rescue. It means an unstoppable army beating back against the revenants, and while they're hardly going to help you pick up the pieces and rebuild afterwards, you know you're going to live.

(The first time they arrive at a besieged town to cheers instead of screams, the Heterodynes and Jägers react like feral cats being offered bowls of wet food--they don't not like it, but they're skittish and wary and will maybe hide under a dumpster for a few minutes until you go away.)

And then one day the Jägers come home, sans Heterodynes. The masters have gone where they cannot follow, and no one is sure when or even if they will be coming back.

Their work during the Other War has won Mechanicsburg enough good will that no one immediately went steamrolling over them when the boys vanished, but they've all spent the last few years since Bill and Barry disappeared holding very very still and being very very quiet, hoping no one remembers that they're still there. Sooner or later, they're going to have to go to this new Wulfenbach Empire for help.

AND HOO BOY DOES KLAUS HAVE HIS WORK CUT OUT FOR HIM. At least in canon, Bill and Barry had done the big stuff already and Klaus was (correctly or not) only concerned with rehabilitating the Jägers.

To reuse the metaphor, Klaus has to take an abandoned building housing an entire colony of feral cats and turn it into a cat cafe.

[bigasswritingmagnet]

The Jagerfrät, Part 2: Lunch and Learn

Modern day AU Agatha goes to Mechanicsburg University and discovers another part of her family legacy: The Jägerfrat. After rescuing/being discovered by three of the fraternity members, they buy her lunch, and Dimo gives her an impromptu history lesson.

Chapter 1 | AO3 Link

It was technically Theta Phi Theta Fraternity, but they were known to one and all as the Jägerfrat. It was the oldest fraternity in the country, and probably the most notorious. They were popular on Mechanicsburg University grounds, and absolutely nowhere else. On their own, they were a troublemaking rabble, known for drinking bars dry, picking fights, and tipping poorly.

But when a Heterodyne arrived…

Agatha had heard the stories. They’d burned a bar down. They’d terrorized every university within driving distance with “pranks” that usually resulted in real bodily harm and property damage in the thousands - minimum. They were the reason the Galați Goats no longer had a live animal mascot.

Every Heterodyne who had ever gone to Mechanicsburg University (which was all of them) had been a member.

Except for the last two.

“I mean, I wasn’t there, but we’re big on like, oral history and shit, y’know, so I know how it went down. It was like...everybody can’t like everybody, but the dudes didn’t even want to know us, y’know? We were embarrassing to them.”

Dimo had won the most emotionally charged game of rock-paper scissors Agatha had ever seen, and therefore was the one who got to ride with Agatha and give directions to a place that served ‘the most dope-ass sandwiches you ever ate in your life, no joke’. He sat slouched in the seat with his knees pressed against the dashboard, twirling his baseball cap on his finger. With each revolution, the enamel snarling demon face pinned to the brim caught the sunlight in a brief flash of gold.

“They made everybody tone it way, wayyy down. No more ragers, no more raids, no more anything . And the frat was not happy about it—I heard one guy straight up tried to knife them.”

“ What?”

“Yeah! Got expelled and everything, it was wild. The house heads burned his name off the wall with a fuckin’ blowtorch.”

Agatha knew why Uncle Barry had never told her stories about things he and his brother had done, but...maybe he could have squeezed in a few? Dropped casual hints? Something to prepare her for the inevitable reveal, the day she would have to face her legacy.

“If everyone was so unhappy about it, why did they do it?”

Dimo looked blank.

“Do what?”

“My father and Uncle Barry didn’t even join the fraternity; what authority did they have to tell the Jägers how to run it?”

“They were the Heterodynes,” Dimo said.

“But they weren’t in the fraternity.”

“But they were the Heterodynes,” Dimo said again. Suddenly he grinned and sat up, jamming his hat back on his head. “Turn here! This is it!”

“ This is the place?” Agatha exclaimed. Despite her trepidation, she obeyed the instruction and pulled into the parking lot of what she had assumed was an abandoned shack left over from a horror movie set.

Twenty minutes later, she was sitting on a half-rotten picnic table and staring down, wide eyed, at the perfectly pressed ham and cheese panini she had just tentatively bitten into.

“This is...the best thing I have ever tasted in my life,” she marveled.

“Told you, bro!” Maxim said. Beside him, Oggie managed to shove half a triple-decker club sandwich into his mouth in one bite.

“The guy who runs it used to be in the frat, sorta, so we get free sodas,” Dimo said.

“Also his granddaughter is smokin’ hot and totally into me,” Maxim said, preening.

“She is so not,” Oggie said.

“How the fuck would you know?” Maxim demanded.

“Cause you flirted with her and she hit you with a side of meat.”

“That was an accident, and she gave me her number after,” Maxim said, glaring.

“How can you sorta be in a fraternity?” Agatha asked, taking another bite of her sandwich.

“You hang around the house and help out with the parties, but you don’t do any of the pledging or drink the Jägerdraught.”

Agatha’s brow furrowed.

“Drink the what?”

The three boys glanced at each other, and Agatha sighed.

“I know very little about what my family used to do,” she said. “Outside of rumor and what I got off of the internet, I know almost nothing. Uncle Barry never liked to talk about it. He and my father worked hard to distance themselves from all of it, and he tried to do the same for--to me. You said they were embarrassed about it, I'm starting to think they were ashamed of it."

“Are you?” Dimo asked.

The table went quiet. The three Jägers were staring at her with startlingly solemn expressions. They didn’t know it, but it was a question that Agatha had been considering for a while now. Even not counting the college shenanigans, her family had been responsible for shady business deals, violent corporate take overs, and more tax fraud than you could shake a stick at.

But when she’d visited Mechanicsburg University last spring, she’d found herself drawn to it in a way she couldn’t quite name.

“I still have to go sign in and get my dorm keys,” she said, “but I’d like to see the fraternity house when I’m done.”

Their eyes lit up, and there was as much relief as excitement, but before a word could be said, a shadow fell over the table.

“ Where the hell have you idiots been?”

The girl standing over them was a few years older than Agatha. She had flaxen-blonde hair that was almost white, and furious brown eyes that bored into each young man in turn. Agatha could see the sunburn on her cheeks, despite the large sunhat on her head. Which—Agatha almost couldn’t believe her eyes—had a Jäger symbol pinned to the purple ribbon on the top.

“Jenka!” Maxim cried, winningly. Oggie let out an oof as a shaggy brown head the size of a toddler shoved itself over his shoulder, black eyes fixed on Oggie’s sandwich.

“Ayy, Füst, my man!” Oggie said with delight, and pulled out a slice of chicken for the dog.

“Why are none of you assholes answering your phones, where the fuck is my car, and who the hell is this?”

The three boys grinned broadly.

“This,” Dimo said, and Oggie and Maxim drummed their hands on the table in a drum roll. “Is Agatha. Heterodyne.”

“Tadaaaa!”

[voronosity]

For Want of a Nail: Girl Genius AU

Dingbots can't pick locks they can't reach. Or perhaps the jail is guarded from the outside, and our little friend is caught before it can help its creator. Whatever the reason, the geisters in Sturmhalten who told Agatha of the Holy Child were never freed.

How would the pieces fall? Tinka is successful leading Agatha to her new Storm King, then to her circus. Agatha was let free by Tarvek with an invitation to return and help with the Muses, no battle in her mind. Tarvek scrapes by without being stabbed or shot multiple times.

The old Prince Aaronev is still dead, and The Baron still arrives ready for a confrontation with the Other. Unfortunately for him, The 7th Groundnaut Mechanical, The 5th Airborne, a wing of the Hoomhoffers, and two Bug Squads arrive hours, if not days, after the circus fled as fast as they could (while still being On Stage). It will take them longer to reach Mechanicsburg without a stolen Wulfenbach airship, but they will reach it all the same. Zeetha never met her father, but Lars is alive and no chicken houses fell on the Baron.

Anevka is alive, for all that you can call her that. She has a poor imitation of Agatha's Voice, but it will be of no help against the Baron. Tarvek was never QUITE desperate enough to pull out the Spark Wasp. No hologram accused the Baron of being The Other, and Klaus hasn't been wasped or firmly convinced of Lucrezia's presence. He will no longer be rushed to the great hospital, nor will he be desperate to carpet bomb Mechanicsburg. He shows up prepared, but still open for diplomatic discussion with the newly officiated Lady Heterodyne.

What comes next is anyone's guess.

[its-to-the-death]

Glasses Swag Sequel Round 1

Time to start the tournament! Here is our bracket:

I can tell some of these are going to be crazy already. The matchups are randomized so blame the computer if you don't like them. The pictures are always a little small first round, but the matchups will also be listed below the cut of this post. Once the polls are out, they'll link to their designated poll.

Just for the first round, I'm going to split the polls across two days. The first batch will be out on Wednesday, June 5 and the second batch will be out Thursday, June 6. All polls run for a week.

Propaganda is always welcome and I will reblog anything that has at least a little explanation as to why your glasses character is superior.

Be nice and have fun!

Wednesday, June 5 polls

Adrian Andrews (Ace Attorney) vs Sniper/Mick Mundy (Team Fortress 2)

Kristopher Gavin (Ace Attorney) vs Doppo Kunikida (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Peter Spankoffski (Nerdy Prudes Must Die) vs Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls)

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (The Muppets) vs Maria Calavera (RWBY)

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls) vs Waldo (Where's Waldo)

Medic/Ludwig (Team Fortress 2) vs Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop of Horrors)

Specs/Glasses (Splatoon manga/Coroika) vs Odile (In Stars and Time)

Tech (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) vs Garnet (Steven Universe)

Klaus Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events) vs Dr. Newton Geiszler (Pacific Rim)

Ibara Saegusa (Ensemble Stars!!) vs Dirk Strider (Homestuck)

Lilith Clawthorne (The Owl House) vs Kei Tsukishima (Haikyuu)

Tedd Verres (El Goonish Shive) vs Liu Sang (Daomu Biji)

Trisana Chandler (Circle of Magic by Tamora Pierce) vs Jackson Jekyll (Monster High)

Yakou Furio (Master Detective Archives: Raincode) vs Baizhu (Genshin Impact)

Tsumugi Aoba (Ensemble Stars!!) vs Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time)

Edward Nygma/The Riddler (DC) vs Chuckie Finster (Rugrats)

Thursday, June 6 polls

Lawrence Fletcher (Phineas and Fern) vs Sissel (Ghost Trick)

Dave Strider (Homestuck) vs Tenya Iida (My Hero Academia)

Sadness (Inside Out) vs Coco Adel (RWBY)

Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium) vs Austin Powers (Austin Powers)

Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney) vs Tomi Kisaragi (13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim)

Shen Wei (Guardian) vs Geordi La Forge (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo) vs The Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai) vs Lil Hal/Autoresponder (Homestuck)

Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) vs Taylor Hebert/Skitter (Worm/Parahumans)

Colress (Pokemon) vs Sci-Twi (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)

Halara Nightmare (Master Detective Archives: Raincode) vs Bedman/Romeo (Guilty Gear)

Riz Gukgak (Dimension 20: Fantasy High) vs Newton Pulsifer (Good Omens)

Jason Grace (Heroes of Olympus) vs Xianyun (Genshin Impact)

Qifrey (Witch Hat Atelier) vs Palamedes Sextus (The Locked Tomb)

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb) vs Calvin's dad (Calvin and Hobbes)

Cricket (Wings of Fire) vs Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius)

[hsavinien]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @wheremermaidsdwell

tagging @asparklethatisblue, @degenezijde, @hyenabeanz if you want to.

How many works do you have on ao3?

441. 183 of those are The Owl House because I have a problem.

What’s your total word count?

360,262 (ish). Some co-written, so not all my words.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Silver is the Moon (Old Guard, Joe/Nicky)

Calling Across the Sea (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley)

Remedy (ST: AOS, Kirk/McCoy)

Teasing Means We Love You, Irritation Means You're Still Alive (Old Guard, team fluff)

Such Simple Trials (MCU, Bucky/Steve/Peggy)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Always! I appreciate them so much!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Coupla Owl House ones. Maybe Raine captured by Kikimora: Leashed, or Camila and "her daughter's" changed behavior: Changeling.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Ehhh... A lot? Like. So many? "We saved the world and got back together and find each other wildly attractive, let's fuck about it!" is not an uncommon theme for me. New Morning Dawning (Raine/Eda) is fun.

Do you write crossovers?

Occasionally. I've done a few Good Omens ones:

We Must Bear Witness (GO/Tolkien, female maiar Aziraphale & Crowley, fusion)

Knightly Virtues are a Pain (GO/Arthuriana, female Aziraphale & Crowley, fusion)

Østenfor engelen og vestenfor demonen (GO/East of the Sun, West of the Moon, female Aziraphale & Crowley, fusion)

Out of Ambit (GO/Discworld, male Aziraphale & female Crowley, isekai)

A Holmes/Doctor Who drabble: A Loose End (Ninth Doctor & SH minor character)

A HP/Justice League Intl. remix for an exchange and a Girl Genius/Marvel comics one for my own joy: Nadia Not-Heterodyne and the Spark Girls (Jaeger OC & Nadia Van Dyne)

An Owl House/ST: TNG fic: Away Mission (King & Tasha & Deanna).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, but I did get a self-identified aro person telling me I was doing romance wrong while having me blocked so I couldn't respond without logging out of my account to respond to a comment on my own fic. That person's comments no longer appear on my stories.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeeeeep. What kind, like...genders? Species? Yes.

M/M, M/F (occasionally), F/F, F/Nonbinary, M/Nonbinary, Nonbinary/Nonbinary, Multi. Monsterfucking. Some bondage. Angsty masturbation.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! With @intosnarkness: And mony a canty day, Jim, We've had wi' ane anither (ST: AOS, Kirk/Scott)

and @hyenabeanz: Eda's Reprise (Be Refreshed, and Be Well) (Owl House, Eda/Raine)

Also 10 years and thousands (millions?) of messages of epistolary RP.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Aging antifascist queers. Raine/Eda, Joe/Nicky, Baze/Chirrut.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I'm GONNA. I'll figure it out! I ONCE tried posting a WIP in hopes that it would make the words come out and it did NOT but I'm going to figure it out eventually! Hyenabeanz helped me figure out what the overarching theme is, so I do in fact have a general direction now. It's already the longest thing I've ever written.

Threads Binding a Wide Universe (Old Guard future fic, sci fi team adventure with new immortals)

What are your writing strengths?

Emotion and worldbuilding. Precision with words.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Sustained plot is hard.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I use it very occasionally and provide translations in a footnote if I don't think readers will be able to figure it out from context.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Good Omens. Long time community member on LJ. Counterpoint (Aziraphale & Crowley, the Arrangement)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Ehhh. Might eventually write for MXTX, but no ideas have really jumped out at me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Again this question... Today, let's say I am very proud of A Reflection Bereft, Not Dark (Old Guard, Joe/Nicky, parallel universes).

[calmingpi]

Hey kids!

Do you have a science minded fashion doll, but the pink play mansions on the market just aren't cutting it for her? Well be unafraid no longer: for a limited time only, Agatha's Life in the Murderhouse Playset™ is available this holiday season!

Make dinner in the Castle's kitchen, grab a book out of the miniature library, and take a nap in the expansive master bedroom (beds for boyfriends not included). Whoops, make sure you avoid the traps around the house! Those kitchen knives are almost as sharp as the real thing! What's this? A secret lab in the highest tower? Perfect for strapping victims to the table and hitting them with your new fright ray! You can even hear Castle Heterodyne's jokes and torture suggestions!

Wowie! Just about everything can be done in Agatha's Life in the Murderhouse Playset™! (Batteries not included, Basement of Horrors® sold separately.)

[iztarshi]

For the WIP ask, I want to hear about the Jägerpets!

Jägerpets is on AO3 but hasn't been updated since 2017 *hides face*

Unlike a lot of my older fics which are probably abandoned I keep rotating this one though!

The Jägers are genetically engineered pets, supposedly created from gibbons, but in actuality created from young children. Lucrezia is behind it because of course she is.

Agatha winds up with three of them - you can guess which three! - and also with Jenka hanging around. Jenka is very wary of humans because before she ran away her owner had her defanged, so she won't approach Agatha or come inside the house.

Agatha walked downstairs, deliberately slowly. Whoever it was had gone and she didn’t want to look like she was chasing.

‘Where did your friend go?’ she asked, leaning out of the patio doors.

‘Jenka dun like owners,’ Maxim said.

‘Does anyone feed her?’ Agatha asked.

Dimo shook his head, expression anxious. ‘She useta feed uz, sometimes.’

‘She wants uz to leave,’ Oggie added, hugging her leg as if to reassure her he wasn’t considering it. ‘She dun think hyu’s safe.’

‘I see. Well, I wouldn’t want to scare her more, but if she comes back she’s welcome to stay and play with you.’

Maxim startled her by throwing his arms around her and declaring, ‘Hyu iz the best!’

Which was how Jenka became a semi-regular presence in Agatha’s yard. She disappeared at the slightest hint Agatha was watching, but if Agatha was safely engaged on the other side of the house she’d start to hear a little girl’s voice raised in play. Once Agatha startled Jenka badly by running down full tilt because she’d seen a brown animal in the yard that her mind had parsed as bear. After Jenka fled, and the animal pushed its way through the hedge after her, Agatha realised it had been a Newfoundland.

Which is where I'm stuck because I need to deal with Jenka's situation before I have Agatha go home to visit her Heterodyne relatives for Christmas, I think. I can't just have Agatha leave her there in the cold.

I'm thinking of having something happen to Füst, especially since Klaus runs a pet rescue (and not just one that rescues Jägerpets). I need to do some research into animal rescue, though.

[girl-genius-comic-tourney]

Round 4 (semi-finals)

[big-ass-magnet]

Girl Genius character alignment nonsense I could not get out of my head.

I know the dungeons and dragons alignment charts are up to a LOT of interpretation, which is why people always argue when someone assigns blorbos to the wrong square.

HOWEVER.

We are all generally in agreement that the "lawful" part of lawful good, neutral, and evil does not mean the 'things you can go to jail for' type laws, yes? You can do evil things without doing anything illegal (gestures at capitalism) and you can do good things that are illegal (gestures at capitalism again). "Lawful" means a personal code of ethics and honor (or dishonor) that a character follows.

(if you DON'T agree with that, just pretend for the duration of this post; play with me in this space)

Lawful evil can do chaotic evil things without compromising being lawful--the archetype of evil characters who are convinced they are good because everything they do is a means to a greater end. Chaotic evil is when you, at your core, first and foremost form your beliefs and make your choices based on a foundation of "because I want to".

An evil paladin who burns down people's houses for fun can still be lawful evil because of their devotion to their oath--if they have the kind of oath that allows or encourages house burning.

(you can probably guess where I am going with this)

Jägers have done and are in no way opposed to chaotic evil stuff. That is not up for debate. They enjoy violence and destruction, and they will cause it whenever they can, but they don't leave Mechanicsburg on a raid for the fun of it. The Mechanicsburg citizens who ride with them absolutely do it for the fun, for the glory, to get chicks. The Jägers ride with their Heterodyne.

In the novelizations, it's specifically mentioned (in my favorite gag in the whole series) that Bill and Barry turned the town from chaotic evil to lawful evil, and managed to do so because they had the support of the Jägers. When Bill and Barry did good, the Jägers were fascinated, even curious about trying it, because there is nothing in the troth that says you serve your Heterodyne only by setting things on fire.

Mechanicsburg and the people within were chaotic evil; the Jägers, by virtue of their troth, were already lawful evil. Hell, you could make the argument that they were and are lawful neutral, and where they are on the morality scale is up to the Heterodyne.

and bill and barry could have made them good if they hadn't decided unilaterally that all monsters are evil and not worth saving unless they are human on the outside I GUESS

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Blood Will Out Ch 6: Home

Summary: When Agatha Sannikova learns she is, in fact, Agatha Heterodyne, she inadvertently kicks off a series of events that reopens old wounds, drags secrets into the light, and brings war to the doorstep of the all but defenseless Mechanicsburg. Saturnus struggles to crush his enemies with a town almost as broken as his body; Agatha, determined to undo the chaos she's unleashed, plunges into the depths of Castle Heterodyne.

Raised by a literal saint and the devil incarnate, Agatha - with an unleashed mind, a burning spark, and a band of very unexpected allies - will fight to do the unthinkable: be a good Heterodyne and a good person.

Prev Ch | AO3 Link | Next Ch

It had taken two months for Teodora to wear Saturnus down enough that he consented to her living outside of the castle, and another month of ferocious negotiation and compromise to agree on where. The house would be no more than fifteen minutes’ walk from the castle, countdown beginning at the foot of the hill, not the front door. Teodora would come to dinner at the castle every night, lunch every other day, breakfast every other Thursday. Saturnus could visit, but must send notice at least one hour prior to his arrival or, preferably, schedule in advance. 

Saturnus had cheerfully evicted the previous tenants, delayed Teodora’s move with a few “necessary renovations”, and presented it to her with great ceremony. She knew Saturnus would have preferred to build her a small palace, but he had, for once, restrained himself, and left the house a comfortable two-story home. 

The back garden had always been her haven. Shielded from the sight and sound of Mechanicsburg by a large hedge, she had made it a place of beauty and growing things, untouched by mad science. When the walls pressed in too close, when helplessness threatened to turn to despair, when she thought too much about the life she could have had and all that had been ripped from her, when she couldn’t speak for fear she would start screaming and never stop, here she could find peace. 

And she needed that peace, now. Every waking moment this week she had spent out in the garden, the back door to the house open so she could see the front door, when Agatha came home. 

If she came home. 

By the third day, Teodora had run out of things to do, and began to dig up her flowers and replant them in other parts of the garden, simply for something to do. The alternative was to sit inside and stare at the door. 

“Teodora.” 

She looked up. Saturnus was in the doorway, his face in shadow. For a moment, she couldn’t figure out why, and then realized it was because night had fallen and the lights in the house were behind him. 

“Supper’s almost ready.” 

Teodora rose to her feet, mechanically stripping off her gardening gloves. She dropped the gloves in the basket of tools, unable to muster the effort to put them away properly. As she approached, Saturnus backed the wheelchair up and moved further into the kitchen. Tucked away as it was in the back of the house, under the stairs, it was a gloomy little space rarely occupied except when cooking. Saturnus had filled it with the greatest Spark-built appliances he could get his hands on, some of which Teodora actually used. 

They had taken turns making sure the other ate, whichever one of them was slightly less consumed by worry and fear and guilt and able to remember they occupied physical shells. Saturnus himself did not have much experience in cooking, but he could follow instructions and reach the oven, and had not yet turned up anything completely inedible.  

“Pass me the kettle, would you, love?” Saturnus asked. Teodora absentmindedly moved the heavy iron kettle from the back burner of the stove to the front, and walked into the front hall to get out of his way.  

The front hall had only a wall on the right side; the left opened directly into the dining room, which kept it from feeling too cramped. Teodora went to the long oval table and took away one of the chairs to give Saturnus a place at the table. 

She always liked to sit with her back to the window, and Bill and Barry had meticulously tracked and traded turns sitting next to her, even when Bill was Lord of Mechanicsburg. Agatha always preferred to sit across from her, so she could look Teodora in the eye as they ate. 

The back wall of the dining room had two doors – a small downstairs bathroom, and the bedroom that had once been Barry’s, now Saturnus’. 

“Barry’s room,” Saturnus repeated. “You want me - me - to move into Barry’s old room, in your house.”

“It’s the only bedroom on the first floor,. ” Teodora said. “The stairs may not be as bad a climb as the road to the castle, but it would be better for your heart if you didn’t have to go up and down every day.” 

It had seemed prescient after the first stroke took his legs, and then pointless after the second took his mind. Now it was useful again: while Saturnus hated the wheelchair and refused to use it outside the house, it was easy enough to wheel himself from the bed to the table without being too injurious to his pride. 

Teodora turned away, wandering from room to room, seeing ghosts in every corner.

Across the hall, through an open doorway, was the sitting room, with a brightly patterned carpet, comfortable chairs and sofas, and a small table for tea. She had passed many sunny afternoons and quiet evenings with her sons, and then her granddaughter, reading or working on her embroidery. There was a shelf on the wall dedicated to Agatha’s clocks. Whether they functioned or not, her creations were always works of art. 

Teodora climbed the narrow stairs to the second floor, which had been divided more or less equally into an oversized, ornate bathroom and three bedrooms: her room, the guest room, and Bill’s room. 

Agatha’s room, now, since the night Barry had arrived with the sleeping girl in his arms. 

Teodora leaned against the doorjamb and stared in. Agatha had been so guarded, at first, almost incapable of believing this would be a permanent home. Now she’d made her mark on it. The line drawings of airships had been replaced by an oil painting of a clank walking through a sun-drenched forest. Agatha had packed away the toy soldiers and monsters and put up her most functional alarm clocks and her model clanks and Princess Stompyboots, because Agatha was old enough to pretend she didn’t sleep with stuffed animals anymore. 

“I was going to ask Punch and Judy to take her, and Beetle to keep an eye on the three of them. Tarsus has his flaws, but he’s trustworthy and he keeps his word - but now he’s given his word to Klaus. ”

“Barry, Mechanicsburg is just as much a part of the Empire as Beetleburg! Even if he answers to Klaus, Tarsus is the Tyrant! Punch and Judy could give her anonymity, Beetle can give his protection - what can I do to protect her that he can’t? The Jägers and the people of Mechanicsburg could keep her safe, but you don’t want any of them to know!   I have no power here, I never have!” 

“You do. You’re Teodora Vodenicharova. You kept me and Bill safe from the whole world, all by yourself. The locket will…will convince people, and you’ll take care of her. Just like you took care of us. When the time comes, I’ll tell her everything, but until then…I can’t think of anywhere safer she could be.”    

She should have insisted. Teodora turned abruptly and hurried down the stairs to stand blankly in the front hall, twisting her fingers together to keep them from shaking. 

Teodora knew, she had always known, from the very first moment, that she should have made Barry take Agatha to Beetleburg. 

In fact, part of Teodora was hoping Agatha would make it to Beetleburg. There, she could be a Spark, too far from Mechanicsburg and from Teodora’s home for anyone to think her a Heterodyne. 

But Teodora had never been strong enough to send her away. 

They ate dinner in silence. Afterwards, Teodora cleared the table and did the dishes and then stood in the kitchen staring blankly out the dark window, wondering if she would ever feel like there was a right choice to make. 

“—dora?”

“What?” She started, realizing Saturnus had been speaking.

“I said, I think you should reconsider letting me tell her when she gets home.”

“Oh, Saturnus!” Teodora scolded, sweeping past him and into the dining room again.   

“I understand your reasoning, but this is not going to go away!” he insisted. “Even once she’s back, the underlying issue remains! She knows she’s a Heterodyne, but she doesn’t know about the locket! She thinks she will fail! That is what she is running from, and it will still be here, waiting for her, if we don’t tell her the truth! If we tell her that the locket is suppressing her spark, then she won’t be afraid!”

Teodora did understand. She understood enough that she felt she might be torn in two. 

If they didn’t tell her, Agatha would be crushed under the weight of expectations she did not know she could exceed.

If they did tell her, Agatha would refuse to wear the locket. She would reveal herself too soon, and the world would come for her, and they would be able to do nothing to protect her.

“What if taking it off all at once does something to her? But if we do it slowly, will that do something? And how could we do it? If she wears it every other day, will that make it better or worse? Neither of us knows how it works!” 

“I could figure it out!” 

“Are you sure?” she demanded. “Are you absolutely sure? Do you know, definitely, without doubt, that if you disconnect the wrong wire it won’t leave her catatonic?” 

“I—–” 

“ Can you?” 

“I am just as strong as Spark as I ever was! There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to figure it out. He’s my son , not a God Queen.”

“Would you bet her life on it?”  

Saturnus opened his mouth, and closed it again. His jaw went tight, his hands white knuckled on the arms of the wheelchair. He glared at her, eyes like green fire. 

But he did not say yes. 

“Barry built it. Barry understands how it works. When he comes home, he will tell me what to do with it, but until then—–” 

“And how long will that be? It’s been four years, Teodora, what if he nev—” 

“ Don’t!” Teodora whirled, teeth bared, blood boiling, mind screaming as if Saturnus could somehow speak the nightmare into existence. “Do. Not. Say. It.” 

Saturnus didn’t answer – but he didn’t have to. It was in his eyes: he didn’t want it to be true any more than she did, but he was willing to accept it. It only made her angrier. Of course he could accept it. There had been a time when he had planned to kill Barry himself – kill him and ‘start over’, as if Barry was nothing more than a failed experiment. The fact that he had the gall to be sad at the thought of Barry…of Barry… 

“Right now, she is stable ,” Teodora said. “Stable, and safe, and I do not know how fragile that may be. So I will continue to do what I know will work, until I am certain – absolutely certain – that any other option won’t make it worse. ” 

The door opened.

Agatha, eyes downcast, slipped inside and quietly pushed the door shut behind her. She was wearing a poorly-fitting yellow dress and a long purple cape, and stood in her socks, her shoes nowhere to be seen.

“I lost my bag,” she said, not looking up. “I had to borrow a change of clothes, and um. I left my boots outside because they got all gross from…from the mud.” 

She swallowed hard. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Teodora let out a cry and threw herself across the room, dragging Agatha into her arms.

“I’m sorry,” Agatha said again, burying her face in Teodora’s shoulder.

“No,” Teodora said, her voice shaking. “No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out, I…”

“I understand why you didn’t tell me,” Agatha said, softly. “Better I don’t know what I…” She pulled in a shuddering breath and her voice trembled. “What I can’t be.”

Something in Teodora shattered.

“That is not why!” Saturnus burst out. He wheeled himself across the room and grabbed Agatha’s wrists tightly, pulling her away from Teodora to face him. “You listen to me, girl. This was too big a secret for a child to keep, and you are a terrible liar. Every person who knows is a person who could slip up, and the second anyone even suspected you might be who you are, you would be in unimaginable danger. Do you understand?”

“I haven’t even done anything!” Agatha exclaimed.

Teodora numbly wandered over to the china cabinet where she had stored the locket. Saturnus had said it was too dangerous for a non-Spark to hold for more than a few hours, and now it lay nestled among the cloth napkins in the top drawer.

“You exist,” Saturnus told Agatha sadly. “That’s enough. Some people will try to kill you in case you are like me. Some people will try to kill you in case you are like your father. Some people will want you dead for revenge. Others will want to control you, use you for their own ends.”

“Even if I’m a useless Heterodyne? One who isn’t even a Spark?”

Tears began to well up in Teodora’s eyes as she stared down at the trilobite locket, indistinguishable from so many other Heterodyne sigils, even from the bric-a-brac the tourists bought. She tried to strengthen her resolve, as she always did, by forcing herself to relive that day. 

The fear in her heart when the castle began to fall to pieces. Fighting her way through the crowd streaming down the road, their arms so empty. Making it up the hill only for the Jägers to hold her back, telling her to stay outside, not to go into the castle, it wasn’t safe. Waiting, struggling to breathe, desperate to see someone, anyone, holding her grandson.

General Zog appearing at the front door, tears streaming unheeded from his eyes, unable to look at her, unable to say anything but I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

She remembered the moment when she had seen the bundle in the lifeless arms of the young von Mekkhan. Carson on his knees, weeping. Saturnus staring, unmoving, apparently not noticing the bone jutting out from his own broken arm. The blanket she had embroideredwhen Lucrezia announced she was pregnant. Daisies and bumblebees being swallowed up, one by one, by the crawling wash of Klaus Barry’s blood.   

“I can’t do it,” she whispered.

“Teodora...” Saturnus said, pained.

“I can’t!” Teodora shouted. “I can’t, I can’t – do you have any idea how suspicious it is? You are the right age. You live with us . You look like your family! The only reason no one suspects you is your headaches. That alone protects you!”

“I don’t—” Agatha said.

“I can’t keep you safe!” Teodora screamed. “This is the only thing I can do!”

“Teodora,” Saturnus said, wheeling himself between them. “I’m not stupid enough to tell you to calm down, but take a breath. Let’s just take a minute—”

“ You are going to tell me to regulate my emotions?” Teodora’s voice cracked.  

“Grandmother—”

“You can’t call me that! For God’s sake, Agatha!”

Agatha took a step back, and she was frightened, frightened of her, but Teodora couldn’t stop herself. She grabbed the locket by the chain and shoved it at Agatha. 

“Put the locket on, Agatha!”

“What are you talking about?” Agatha cried, backing away further. “The locket? What does the locket have to do with anyth—”

She stopped. Her eyes went wide. She looked down at Saturnus, who could not meet her eyes.

“You were five,” Teodora said, her voice weak and desperate. “You broke through at five. Barry did the only thing he could think to do—”

“The locket...the locket? He made a locket that made me an idiot?” Agatha’s eyes welled up with tears, her face twisted in the agony of betrayal. “And you knew. You, you both knew the whole time that – it’s that?  You knew and you let it happen?”

Once again Agatha looked at Saturnus, who...hesitated. He glanced at Teodora and he—

He wasn’t going to say it, she realized. He wasn’t going to tell Agatha that it was her, and her alone, who had been complicit in this nightmare, or that he had wanted to end her torment and Teodora would not let him. It would have been so easy for him to use this to turn Agatha against her forever. To convince their granddaughter to abandon everything Teodora had ever taught her. He could have his revenge for what she’d done to Bill and Barry. He could finally get the proper evil heir he’d always wanted.

But he didn’t.

Teodora wanted to hate him for it.

“ I knew,” she said. “I knew from the start.”

“She had to tell Dr Sun and me when we took you to the hospital,” Saturnus said. “Sun wanted to run tests to find the cause, maybe try to fix what was happening.”

Dr Sun had been only slightly less displeased than Saturnus. And Saturnus had been raging .

“How could you do this to me?” Agatha demanded of Teodora.

“ I buried your brother,” Teodora said. “My sons are gone! My grandson is dead! You are all I have left in this world! Please ,” she begged.

“Agatha,” Saturnus said. How strange for him to be the calm one. “It kills me – it kills us both! But Teodora is right. This damn device is the only thing standing between you and the world. The castle is a ruin, our weapons are junked, our Jägers are...gone. If someone comes for you – and they will come for you – there is no guarantee we could stop them.” 

“The Baron—”

“ Klaus? ” Saturnus exclaimed, thumping back into his chair. “He’s one of the bastards we’re protecting you from! The best case scenario is he whisks you off to Castle Wulfenbach ‘for your own protection’ – and you would be safe, on a floating fortress with the Jägers right there to watch over you. You’d be safe, and you’d be trapped .

“Barry felt it was so important to keep you out of Klaus’ hands, he wouldn’t take you to Punch and Judy, when we all know how much easier it would have been for them to keep you hidden, just because Beetleburg joined the Empire. That locket, those headaches, they have kept you above suspicion. Do you understand?”

“No!” Agatha drew away from both of them, but it was Teodora she fixed her furious glare on. “I hate you,” she hissed. Teodora shut her eyes. “I hate you! I hate you and I hate Uncle Barry and I won’t wear the locket and I never want to talk to you again!”

She ran, storming up the stairs and slamming the door shut.

Teodora felt...hollow. There was no more grief left to feel, no more tears to shed, no more heart to break. 

“If she won’t wear it, I’ll need to fix the castle,” Saturnus said.

Teodora did not move or open her eyes. Gently, he pried the locket from her hand, where the edge of the clasp had begun to cut into her skin.

“You can’t get up the hill,” Teodora whispered, her voice very far away. She could barely hear herself over the words booming and echoing in her skull, cutting her to pieces again and again.

I hate you!

“I’ll let Sun assign one of those orderlies to push me around, pride be damned. You were right – it’s one thing to get myself killed. I’ll not let it get in the way of keeping her safe. A functioning castle is the best way to do that.”

Teodora said nothing. What was there to say?

“She’s a good girl, and she loves you,” Saturnus said, awkwardly. “I’m sure once she’s had time to calm down, she’ll...well, maybe I can convince her.” 

“I didn’t do it to hurt you,” Teodora said. Saturnus sighed.

“Teodora, I am not that self-absorbed. I know this is not about me, or my legacy. This is about Agatha.”  

“No. Bringing you here after your heart attack. Keeping you here after the strokes; being the one to look after you. I know what people think. I know what you think. I never did it because I enjoyed having power over you. I never felt pleasure at seeing you brought low.”

Saturnus was silent for a moment, his surprise and disbelief palpable. Teodora couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She didn’t want to see the look on his face. She didn’t know why the words were coming now. Perhaps it was some sort of reward for not turning Agatha against her – the gift of knowing the woman he loved did not have such malice in her heart, even after all he’d done. 

“I was worried you wouldn’t listen to the doctors, after your heart attack, and end up making it worse. I knew I could get you to listen to me, make you take your medication, keep you from doing anything foolish. Then you had your stroke and… You hated people even just seeing you with a cane. At the hospital you would have had nurses and orderlies and doctors going in and out every day, seeing you like that, I knew what you would feel, and I knew I could spare you that.”

“But... why?”

Teodora opened her eyes, but kept her eyes fixed on the wall. 

“We were both in our own personal Hell, Saturnus. It felt like someone had learned all of our fears and was forcing us to live every one of them day after day. I couldn’t make it better, but I could make sure that for at least one of us, it didn’t get worse. ” 

Saturnus said nothing for a very long time. At last she felt a hand take hers, hesitantly. Teodora did not pull away. Distantly, she wondered when she had started to find his touch a comfort.

[vancho1]

Webcomics recommendation (just a few): Paranatural (https://www.paranatural.net/) - a neat story about a bunch of kids with ghost powers and the fucked up things happening in their town! Many queer folk in this comic Kill Six Billion Demons (https://killsixbilliondemons.com/) - god is dead, and a bunch of demigods are fighting over reality, and whoops a blonde girl was granted the key to ultimate power??? Also very gay. Wilde Life (https://www.wildelifecomic.com/) - Journalist Oscar Wilde moves from Chicago to Oklahoma to escape his troubles and find himself. But strange happenings are about, from the werewolf teen in town to his haunted house. Girl Genius (https://girlgeniusonline.com/) - Classic webcomic by comics veterans Phil and Kaja Foglio. Agatha Heterodyne, Girl Genius! is a mad scientist in the strange and sometimes dangerous lands of Europa. Clown Corps (http://clowncorps.net/) - Currently on hiatus. After a burglary gone wrong, a thief gets a second chance at life by... going to clown college to be a crime-fighting clown? Pretty funny.

People don't like to admit it bcs cringe or w/e but Homestuck really did revolutionize the webcomic as a storytelling medium and I am endlessly frustrated that before webcomic artists could really stretch our legs fucking webtoonz swooped in, set a new, more restrictive standard, and then monetized and monopolized the ever living fuck out of the concept of The Webcomic until it drove away anyone who couldn't be a professional quality manga artist for free, and now the only webcomics that actually feel like spiritual successors to Homestuck are so obscure they're basically cult classics that you have to beg people to read.

Like it's just so wild to be in high school and see Homestuck be like "we're using like fifteen different artistic mediums to tell this story bcs we can" and be really fucking inspired by that, only to grow up and see basically every webcomic ever have to conform to One Single Standard or fucking perish.

[its-to-the-death]

Glasses Swag Sequel Round 2

A lot of those round 1 matches were close and there were some last call comebacks. Here's the updated bracket:

Polls for this round will be out on Saturday, June 15 and last for a week. Matchups are under the cut as always.

Be nice and have fun!

Adrian Andrews (Ace Attorney) vs Doppo Kunikida (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls) vs Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (The Muppets)

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls) vs Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop of Horrors)

Odile (In Stars and Time) vs Garnet (Steven Universe)

Dr. Newton Geiszler (Pacific Rim) vs Dirk Strider (Homestuck)

Lilith Clawthorne (The Owl House) vs Liu Sang (Daomu Biji)

Trisana Chandler (Circle of Magic by Tamora Pierce) vs Baizhu (Genshin Impact)

Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time) vs Edward Nygma/The Riddler (DC)

Sissel (Ghost Trick) vs Dave Strider (Homestuck)

Sadness (Inside Out) vs Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium)

Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney) vs Geordi La Forge (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo) vs Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai)

Taylor Hebert/Skitter (Worm/Parahumans) vs Sci-Twi (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)

Bedman/Romeo (Guilty Gear) vs Riz Gukgak (Dimension 20: Fantasy High)

Jason Grace (Heroes of Olympus) vs Qifrey (Witch Hat Atelier)

Calvin's dad (Calvin and Hobbes) vs Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius)