#The Cougar Ball

[gallifreyanconsultingphilosopher]

I can't believe I used feel like this everyday. Damn I really muscled through that shit. Good on adolescent me for surviving that, so adult me knows I'll make it through.

[bo0tleg]

GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING TOP GUN (1986) FOR THE FIRST TIME:

"Look at those thighs! He's gotta be sitting on a dick, there ain't no way!" (about a random engineer in the opening sequence)

"This guy is too handsome to be a rando" (it was, indeed, a rando)

"Fifteen minutes in and I have no idea who the protagonist is." "Do you know what Tom Cruise looks like?" ".... No."

*Thought Cougar was gonna be the protagonist, was confused as hell when he left*

"The baldo is boring, but I think were gonna keep seeing him throughout the movie." "No, we're not." "We're not? Oh, thank god."

"Whoop, spotted the gay one. That wasn't even hard."

"That guy (Chipper) looks russian." "Nope." "No? What about that one (Slider)?" "It's the middle of the Cold War." "..... So?"

"A gay couple already? Wow."

"The blondie is trying to flirt while the other one is too concentrated on the rivalry."

"OH HELL NAH."

"Every old movie just feels the need for random straight romance– OH SHIT THAT'S HER? HE'S SO FUCKED." (In the scene where Charlie is 'officially' introduced)

"HOLD UP!" *Rewinds the scene* "What kind of flirting is that?" *Plays the scene again* "Did he just... Chomp? At him?"

"He has chemistry with her, but she doesn't want any chemistry with him. I mean, I can see she's attracted to him, but I think she just wants a quick lay." (Repeated this Every. Single. Time. Maverick and Charlie had a scene together.)

"Ah yes, the hetero scene that actually looks really gay." Later, remembering the scene: "How the fuck are you gonna play sports looking like a hot piece of ass without looking gay? You're not supposed to be hot! You're supposed to slap that fucking ball, not be like 'hahaha look at me, I'm so dainty and pretty.' THAT'S GAY!"

"It's cute, Goose treats him like a father would." "Don't you mean an older brother?" "No, he's too gentle for that. They'd be killing each other."

"See, Goose's wife treats him like an older sister would. By annoying him."

Charlie, on screen: "(...) Because I've fallen in love with you." "NO YOU FUCKING HAVEN'T, SHE'S JUST SAYING THAT FOR HIM TO STAY! SHE'S JUST SAYING WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR TO KEEP HIM THERE!"

*Loud disgruntled noises I could hear from the kitchen over the sex scene*

"That's the one with the hard on!"

"I want more scenes of the blondie (Ice) and Maverick, I don't care about fucking planes."

"Did he die? Oh, no he's fine, the chute is there. Wait, he did die? NO!"

"Did he really need to be in his underwear for this conversation?"

"How cute, he's worried about Mavericks mental health. Shit."

*Screams*

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT? SHE LEFT YOU AFTER YOUR BEST FRIEND DIED!" "And put on a song that reminds him of his parents." "AND PUT ON A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR DEAD PARENTS!"

[thelovinghost]

Hello there!!!! may i request headcanons on how the ouran host would flirt??

YES OMG I JUST SAW THIS REQUEST ON JULY 1 2023 [Yet I'm posting this in almost August...] Left out Mori cause he don't talk

Tamaki Suoh

A natural born flirt

He's so good, even his regular talking sounds like he's flirting

He's a cheesy flirt, but he has his moments were he's like a poet

"Your eyes are deep as my love for you"

"I'd rather look into your eyes than any stars in the night sky"

He knows how to make anyone blush, even those daring cougars

Man is great at foreplay

You get so used to his flirting that you become immune to it

^ He gets really upset by this, flirting is his best trait

^ Bro gets into a mental crisis. If he loses his flirting ability, will you become unattracted to him?

He loves when you play along with him and flirt back

He loves to flirt and it's his life

Though, if you're better than him at flirting?

He doesn't even know how to process it

Doing it effortlessly? He wants you to stop, because he's afraid you might flirt with other people, even if you don't realize it

You think he's over reacting [And you're right]

Hikaru Hitachiin

He's mean

At first he flirted with you as a joke, you know, like friends

But then when he gains feelings, he becomes a weird ball of confusion and uncontrolled emotions and he takes it out on you

He's mean to you, because he doesn't know how else to express his emotions

You're very confused

He gives you mixed emotions

One second he's over you like cuteness on a puppy then the next he ignores you

His brother will confront him and will sweep in to help your relationship [If you could call it that]

He'll flirt with you, so that Hikaru accepts his feelings [he doesn't]

In fact, he gets into a fight with his brother when they get mad

Hikaru and Kaoru get into such a bad fight, that it effects their host club activities

Hikaru's scared of rejection and abandonment

He's scared if he opens up, you won't want him

But you think he's fine either way

He's just a bad flirt with someone he likes, to cut it short

Kaoru Hitachiin

He's genuinely the best flirt

He's sweet and kind and unlike Tamaki he doesn't flirt with everyone

He's able to express every emotion he has for you when he flirts, unlike his brother

It's not even really flirting for him. It's just him telling you how much he loves you and everything you do to him

He'll make you blush and smile so much your cheeks hurt

He's genuinely so smooth

He'll grab your hands and tell you sweet nothings

He genuinely means everything he says to you

He loves you and wants you to know that

Mitsukuni 'Honey' Haninozuka

He has a child-like idea of flirting

He'll give you his sweets and lets you hold Usa-chan

He loves admiring you and will just randomly say how pretty he thinks you are

He's so cute, he can say the dirtest things and you won't even realize what it means

You'll think it's just cute

But it's not. He is a filthy, nasty, dude

But he has this child-like innocence atmosphere around him

He compares you to his favorite sweets and tells you he'd pick you over Usa-chan

[Damn, that's a compliment]

"You're as sweet as sugar, Y/n-chan!"

He has this sweet smile on his face as he tells you everything

"Y/n have you ever heard of a Funky Monkey?"

"No, why?"

He laughs, shaking his head, "I can show you, if you'd like"

Don't let him show you

He wants you to see him as a man, not a boy, hence the sex innuendos

Kyoya Ootori

His idea of flirting is pointing out your flaws and criticizing you

Kind of a douchebag ngl

I guess another way to put is that he's not to good with words

He'll take you wherever you wanna go

^ That's kind of his love language

He kind of looks at you and admires you

Though he doesn't admit it

He, like Hikaru, is scared of his emotions

He uses his actions instead of words

It's okay, you understand him well enough to accept this

You don't mind

Though when does open up to you, he'll occasionally, VERY RARELY, say something sweet

"You look nice today, Y/n"

You'll look down at your yellow dress, which you always wear because it's the uniform. "Ummm.... Thank you?"

He feels like an idiot after saying this though, so please don't call him out

Haruhi Fujioka

Terrible flirt

Can not flirt to save her life

When she does 'flirt' it's not even consciously

It's kind of like a mask

When she does try and tell you how she feels, it kind of falls flat?

Like she says it in such a flat tone and it comes off weird?

"Wow, you smell nice today"

^ "Excuse me?" [She says it like she either doesn't mean it or that you smell awful every other time of day]

She just keeps making it worse by continuing with it and not backing down

In fact, you'll probably be turned off by her for a while, because of her flirting

Eventually one of the other host club members hear her flirting and go to save her

"Haha, he doesn't mean that. He's an idiot." They'll pat her back, before dragging him off

"What is wrong with you? What was that?"

"I was flirting"

They then laugh at her and she frowns

She needs help

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

As much as I was not emotionally prepared for the end of episode 10 after the utter hell that was last week irl, I keep thinking about how well they constructed this episode.

I know there's a lot of varying opinions out there, but to me, when it came to the core themes, what happened made so much sense, and was crafted really, really well.

Like I couldn't give less of a shit about the ring and how it works, because it doesn't matter - there's always some bastard with power that he's abusing, and how he got it and who is going to get it from him next is irrelevant to those of us just trying to survive. They already spent plenty of time showing it's all a game, the ball has just changed hands. It very well could be a magic ring - just look at how people in real life worship and obey money, which is a creation of humanity, not an inherent truth. The point isn't for us to understand how the system works overall, but to see the ways that those of us lower down get manipulated into exhaustion and despair and self-punishment. That's what we need to know about the system - how it breaks us down.

What mattered with the episode was the escalation, the throwing of the crabs into the bucket where they start to pull and tear each other - and themselves - apart.

And it started early. It started when Jack & Joke saw Jennie's character being harassed, and did nothing. Because they thought they were ok, in their little couple bubble. But that's the whole point. It's not just about the two of them, it's about all of them, the collective community, and how none of them are safe even when it feels that way. How none of us are safe.

Jack and Joke both did things we didn't want to see them do, but those are the things the system is designed to draw out of them. Just look at those of us in the U.S. right now. We live in a country that was founded as a white supremacist patriarchal institution, and last week it worked exactly as it was designed to.

Yes, the angst in this episode hurt, but it had purpose here. Because this shit is insidious and horrible and devastating, and even our heroes are not immune to it.

But you know who is immune? Who sees what's truly happening? Who understands what needs to happen?

Hoy. Sweet innocent, baby Hoy.

Hoy gets it, and he convinced his cougar girlfriend, and she convinced the people in the temple. Because as horrific and insurmountable as it all feels sometimes, it is possible for holds of power to be broken, for an oppressor to be brought down.

But it has to be collective. It has to be community.

Jack and Joke are suffering because they are not special, they are not perfect. They are us.

But they will get there, because of what they've built in the community up to this point. And the community will come back for them.

[munsster]

Hiiiiiiii loved your Eddie munson x wealthy!reader fix, I was wondering if you could do a billy Hargrove one? Thank you bby💗

billy with a wealthy s/o

A/N: its 100% giving reluctant allies to lovers gif cred: @selinasdalton

Warnings: partying, drinking/smoking, insults (mostly playful), pet names (sweetheart), implied sex

the FIRST thing i thought of was reader rolling with the popular crowd

ie harrington, tommy, carol etc

and seeing billy for the first time at a party

honestly, he probably offers you a drink or better yet a smoke

and you’re disgusted (horny)

and he thinks he’s totally gonna score (you accepted his drink offer)

neither of you really remember how or when it started

you can never agree on an anniversary date

but you both know he fell first

mainly because he was absolutely floored by just how many insults you had ready in your back pocket

“the ball goes in the basket, airhead” “you look like rob lowe if he was a woman and a munch” “my dog could sink more free throws than you and he’s 20 years old”

honestly, he was a little flattered by your creativity

which is why he knew he had to get in your pants somehow

and the first time you invited him over to your house, you wouldn’t hear the end of it

“hey, richie rich, where’s your robot maid?”

“oh, it’s her day off”

“…”

“i’m kidding,” you tease, “she’s not a robot”

he does not know how to handle the amount of shit you spoil him with

“billy… i really like your necklace”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“i can buy you a new—”

“i dont need a new one, sweetheart”

and you don’t know how to handle the fact that he doesn’t want to be spoiled

but you eventually figure out how to be sneaky with it

making him lunches (con caviar), ‘accidentally’ misplacing his shoes so you have to buy him new ones, taking him to fancy barbershops and paying half the cost so it still seems like he’s paying the full price

some may say it’s manipulative. you say it’s loving.

and the first time he buys you a meaningful, mildly expensive gift, you tear up a little bit

you bringing him to the golf course and finding out 1) he’s really good at golf and 2) he is excellent cougar bait

not that you want the over 60’s hitting on your man, but it’s very sweet when they send him drinks and call him a handsome young man

you definitely encourage him to play into it with some “how are you young ladies this evening?” and “don’t you have to be 21 to sit at the bar?” action

he has his fun with it, but he really only does it ‘cause it makes you smile

would never BEG for anything…. but he DOES get really sad when you don’t bring him to the mall to watch you try on shoes or sweaters or whatever.

yeah, if there’s something he’d beg for, it’s that

he lives for the moment you walk out of the dressing room, do a twirl, and ask (like clockwork) “do you like it?”

his answer is always yes, but you claim to know the differences in his tone that indicate what he actually likes

sometimes, if he’s lucky, you’ll let him sit inside the dressing room. watching you change. watching you change.

he is the reason you’re both banned from sears at starcourt

the first really expensive watch you gift him is INSANE

it has like four dials and you said something about alligator leather and 18 carat gold

he can’t decide between wearing it on special occasions to preserve its value or never taking it off because he loves you

when you do stay at his house, usually no ones home

but you have met max

and she likes to stay away from you

but you took her to get a new skateboard and you think that might’ve helped her warm up to you

just a smidge

now she lets you gossip about stupid boys and watch shitty action movies with her

she even promised she would go as croft’s robin for halloween if you swore you’d go as wilson’s batman

that was an interesting halloween for billy

your mansion house has this shiny ass gramophone in one of the downstairs offices

and you told billy that the last thing that had played on it was a glenn miller ‘best of’ album

and that was just not good enough for billy

so one night, he brought over his twisted sister vinyl and convinced you to dance with him while what you don’t know blasted through the brassy pavillon

he also may or may not have convinced you to make out with him while the rest of the record played

even though you drive a brand new, cherry red benz (convertible, he might add), you still love it when he drives the two of you in his camaro

but you also let him drive your car whenever he wants. and he wants to most of the time.

in fact, he’s pretty sure he drives your car more than you do

he also loves to let you dress him up

and do his hair (please practice that cute hairstyle you saw on him. he’ll think about your hands in his hair for hours on end)

even if youre just going on a chill diner date, you still drag him into your (now shared) walk-in closet and pick out these satin shirts and pressed slacks and the shiniest shoes he’s ever seen

but of course, most of your dates are lavish and breathtakingly creative, anyway, so he’s already dressed accordingly

his new catch phrase is something along the lines of “what happened to eating somewhere normal. like pizza hut”

sometimes, his only requirement is “as long as there’s no chandelier”

you flatter him so often, he gets grumpy on days you forget to call him handsome (or pretty boy, which has really grown on him)

typically, he wouldnt go for all the fuss and feathers, but he likes to see you happy.

and boy, does prettying him up make you happy

seriously, you get the wildest look on your face. it’s fulfilling enough that billy feels safe to say he’s content being your ken doll forever

if you’d let him

masterlist

[etherealxwitch]

Let’s Play

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous game of who can make the other break first.

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), semi toxic relationship, exhibitionism kink, teasing, begging, praise, oral (m and f receiving), ball play, rimming (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), choking, spanking, slapping, breeding kink, squirting, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie

WC: 4.8K

(this was kinda rushed in the end, but i hope y’all enjoy!)

Remember to reblog and support the author!

You looked in the rear view mirror one last time before taking a breath and stepping out of your car. 

Corroded Coffin was playing a show (if you could call a small crowd of local drunks and cougars a show), and while you were still mad over the stupid argument you had with Eddie earlier in the day, you still wanted to show up and support him. 

You walked into the bar, a small group of patrons scattered around it. Your eyes scanned the bar looking for your boyfriend and of course, he was talking up some women with big tits. You knew exactly where tonight was headed just by looking at him. This is the game he really wanted to play? You were here to be nice, but seeing him talking to the bartenders had smoke blowing out your ears. 

Eddie saw you by the front door and immediately pushed the girls aside, striding over to you. “I’m glad you came, sweetheart.” His smile was big and bright, but he had that mischievous look in his eyes. 

“Oh, are you?” You pushed your sunglasses to rest on your head, your arms coming to cross against your chest. 

You made sure to wear Eddie’s favorite outfits. It always left him drooling after you, staring at you like a starved man. Two can play this game, it was all about who would break first. 

It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. You and Eddie always did this, fought, had mind blowing make up sex, and did it all over again. It was a never ending cycle. The two of you loved each other, were in love with each other, but that didn’t stop the fights you had. 

You heard it before, from your friends and family, that you fought this way to keep each other close, to have that spark always lit. No matter how many fights or nights where you almost went to bed angry, the spark was always there, always fully lit between the two of you. The two of you just couldn’t resist each other

“You gonna do this,” he looked around the bar, showing how now wasn’t the time to bring any of this up, “now?” 

Your eyes rolled at him being a tad bit over dramatic. He was acting all innocent, but that glint in his eyes told another story.

You placed a freshly manicured hand on Eddie’s hard chest, feeling his heartbeat under it. It sped up when you touched him, sending shockwaves throughout his body, and all the blood straight to his cock.

“I see that look, Eddie.” You stood up on your tippy toes, your lipstick stained lips pressed against his ear. “You wanna play just as much as I do.”

Eddie had to bite back a groan. Feeling you this close to him, touching him, always sent him into a daze. You had this hold over him, and he didn’t want you to let go.

He tried to compose himself, cleaning his throat. “Maybe I do,” he pulled your body flush against his, his arms snaking around your waist. “You better watch yourself tonight, sweetheart.”

You pulled away from him, slowly walking backwards to the bar. “It’s you who should watch yourself.” You winked at him, licking your lips. “I always win.”

Soon enough, Eddie and the band took the stage. They looked comfortable up there, and as they should. Corroded Coffin have been playing at The Hideout for years, always hoping for the day that some huge record label person would walk in and sign them. 

The bass quickly slithered its way into your body, making your heart beat out of your chest. It felt like you were vibrating, but you loved it. 

Many songs were played as Eddie kept flirting with the cougars by the stage. Getting on his knees in front of them, slowly licking his lips, practically humping the mic stand. He did all this knowing that you were watching, hoping the jealousy was bubbling up inside you. 

You couldn’t deny the need you had for him as you watched him, though. He was sweaty, beads dripping from his hair to his forehead. The bulge in his tight fitted pants was big enough for you to see where you stood, and the winks he kept sending your way had you weak in the knees. He was making it hard to focus, to breathe. 

You two had the other wrapped around your fingers. 

The set ended and just as Eddie jumped down, you turned your back to him. You were putting on a front and flirting with the bartender that had been making your drinks. Batting your eyelashes, letting your fingers linger over his when he handed you your drink. You even let out a few giggles, tossing your head back. You made sure that you were being loud enough for Eddie to hear. 

And Eddie definitely heard, he walked up to you and pressed his sweaty chest into your back. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, but you weren’t sure if it was from just playing his heart out or the sight of you flirting with some stupid bartender.

Eddie didn’t say anything to you as he stood behind you, he just grabbed your ass and walked away. He had something up his sleeve, you knew it. 

You watched him go over to a girl who was leaning up against the wall, smoking. Even though you couldn’t hear what was being said, you know he was asking to bum a cigarette. Eddie was always losing his somewhere. 

What took you by surprise was when the girl popped it into his mouth, slowly running her fingers down his neck and chest. 

Your fists balled at your sides as your eyes shot daggers at them. 

The girl leaned forward, her forehead almost touching Eddie’s. She was smiling in his face and you swear you heard her ask, “do you have one brand of cigarettes you love… or are you open to other options?” Her hand went lower, almost reaching the top of his belt.

You couldn’t take it any fucking longer.

She popped open her lighter and went to light the cigarette dangling from Eddie’s lips. 

Seeing red, you pulled him away, straight to the bar's nasty bathroom. At this point, you didn’t care where the two of you fucked, you just wanted him.

Eddie lost it the second you pushed the door close, pulling your body closer to his, and grabbing you by the back of the neck. “Who’s the winner now?” 

You rolled your eyes, already working on undoing his belt. “You’re joking right? She was almost kissing you!” Your voice was raised, sure to be heard over the music playing outside the bathroom. 

Eddie chuckled darkly, his grip getting tighter on you. “How about we talk about all that giggling you were doing with the bartender?” He leaned down and caught you in a feverish kiss, his teeth biting down in your bottom lip, and making you gasp. “Fucking pathetic to see you throw yourself at him like that.”

“Oh, so drunk girls can throw themselves at you all the time but the second I talk to some cute guy you have to act like this?” Your hands dropped from his belt and came up to rest confidently on your hips. 

“Cute?” Eddie cocks his head to the side, his teeth gritting, and his jaw clenched. “You wanna find another choice of words?”

“No, I don't.”

“You’re really digging yourself a hole?” He walks you backwards, pinning you between him and the wall, your back hitting the tiled, cold wall with a slight thud. “Are you really sure you want to go down this route?”

Deciding to push Eddie’s limits further, you shrugged. “What are you gonna do?” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he ripped your shirt right down the middle, the ripping off the fabric echoing in your eyes. “I’m gonna make sure you know that you can’t have anyone but me.” 

He took you by surprise, the cold air surrounding your body and making your nipples immediately harden.

Eddie looked up at you. His big, brown eyes are filled not with innocence, but lust, jealousy, and need. 

You couldn’t deny how wet you were at this moment. Your thighs were sticky as you clenched them together, and your skin felt hot. All you wanted was Eddie, all you needed was him. 

“Please…” Eddie knew what you wanted by your tone of voice, but he was going to make you work for it. 

“On your knees, pretty girl.” He undid his belt quickly, letting it clank as he pulled down his jeans and boxers just under his ass.

His cock was already hard, leaking with precum, and his balls heavy with the need to be drained. 

Slowly, you dropped to your knees, your eyes still looking up at him. His cock right in front of your face, just waiting for you to put that mouth to good use. 

“Open,” you quickly obeyed, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue. 

Eddie grabbed the base of his cock and slapped the leaky tip against your tongue. The salty precum flooded your tastebuds and you closed your eyes to try and savor the flavor longer. 

You wrapped your lips around the tip, your tongue licking over the slit before taking more of him in your mouth. 

“Fuck- it’s always so easy to shut you up like this.” Eddie’s hand rested on the back of your neck, holding your head still so he could fuck his cock into your throat. “Just fucking take it.” 

You gagged and your eyes started to tear up, but that didn’t stop you from opening your mouth more. 

Eddie’s balls slapped wetly with each thrust of his hips against your chin, drool dripping down it. You were sure your throat was going to be raw after him fucking your face, but it was all worth it. “Doing such a good job for me, baby.”

You tried to speak, tried to thank him but your voice came out muffled. His cock was stuffed fully in your mouth. 

“Shhh, don’t try to talk.” Eddie ran a thumb over your cheek soothingly, wiping your tears away before gently slapping you. “Just let me fuck your pretty face.”

His hips thrusted, the tip of his cock nudging at your throat. Your lungs burned from lack of air, but you could stay on your knees for him forever. 

Your nose was pressed against the small thatch of curls at the base of Eddie’s cock, his balls wetly pressed against your chin. His cock throbbed in your mouth and against your tongue. You swallowed around his cock, gagging each time it hit the back of your throat.

Eddie wrapped a hand around your throat, feeling his cock bulge in it. He couldn’t help but groan, knowing you took all his cock in your mouth like the good girl you are.

“God damn it,” he pulled you away, your spit webbing between your lips and his cock. 

He didn’t stop there. Instead, he pulled your head closer to his balls, dragging them across your waiting lips. His cock was pressed against your face, precum smearing across your forehead. 

You did want you know he wanted, you opened your mouth and sucked the heavy sack in. Your tongue rolled against the velvety skin, your teeth nibbling here and there. 

“S-shit,” Eddie’s blunt nails dug into your skin, creating crescent moon shapes in their wake. 

You kept sucking, pulling on them. Having them in your mouth was enough to have your hips rolling against the air, looking for any type of friction against your clit. He knew what a slut you were for his balls. 

“Yeah? You like having my balls in your mouth?” He smirked down at you as you tried to nod your head with your mouth full of him. 

You grabbed his cock and moved your hand up and down in a twisting motion. More precum bubbled out of the slit and over your knuckles. Your spit and all the precum made it easy for your hand to move in swift motions.

While moving your hand up and down, squeezing at the tip, you gargled around his balls. Each lick and nibble making Eddie shake with pleasure.

“Shit-shit,” Eddie’s stomach muscles tightened and he was close to cumming. 

You could feel his cock twitch and throb in your hand, the precum dripping continuously down your knuckles.

As much as Eddie wanted to cum on your face right now, he couldn’t couldn’t let that happen yet. He had to cum in your pussy tonight. He wanted to fill you up until he had nothing left to give, breed you nice and full.

Eddie pulled his balls from your mouth and looked down at you. The sight of you on your knees, looking perfect, had him in awe. 

Your lipstick was smeared across your chin, eyeliner and mascara running down your cheeks with tears. You looked pretty like this. A pretty mess that he had made.

Eddie helped you stand up, and turned you around. His chest was pressed up against your back as his hands roamed over your body. “Let’s get you out of this pants.” 

His fingers made quick work, unbuttoning your jeans, and sliding his cold fingers inside your panties. “Who’s got you all wet? I know it isn’t that bartender.” 

“Y-you.” Your voice was quiet and shaky, his fingers barely brushing against your clit. 

“What was that? I didn’t hear you?” Oh, he heard you alright, he just wanted to hear you say it again. Eddie always wanted to hear how he was the only one who could get you soaked. No one else held such power over you.

“You, Eddie.” You wiggled your hips, his fingers pinching at your clit. “I’m wet for you.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Just as quickly as he slid his fingers into your panties, he slid them back out. 

Eddie helped you shimmy down your jeans and panties off in one go, pooling around your ankles before you stepped out of them.

His rough hands grabbed at your supple skin. Digging into the flesh of your ass, feeling your body mold into his hands. He had you just where he wanted you. 

“I don’t know whether to tease you,” he trailed a blunt fingernail up your back, goosebumps forming over your hot skin. “Or give you so many orgasms that you’re crying by the time I’m done with you.”

You shook your head rapidly, breath hitching each time he touched you. “Please don’t tease me, I can’t handle it.”

Eddie chuckled darkly in your ear, his teeth grazing against your earlobe. Every part of your body felt hot, the need for him almost becoming too much. “You think you have a say in this? You don’t, sweetheart. Remember, I won.”

“I make the rules,” his hand came down with a hard spank! across your ass cheek, causing you to let out a high pitched, breathy moan. The crack of his hand against your ass was loud enough to echo against the dirty walls. “You just sit there, look pretty, and take what I give you.”

Spank! Spank! Spank! His hand came down hard against your ass, over and over again. Your head was reeling, and you knew Eddie was enjoying it by all the chuckling he was doing. 

The stings of the initial spanks and Eddie's rings made you hiss in pain and pleasure. If you weren’t wet before, you’re certainly dripping now.

Eddie walked you until your stomach was pressed against the sink, trapping you in. Both of his hands grabbed your ass cheeks, pulling them apart and exposing you. 

God, you had the most perfect cunt. It was the prettiest color he had ever seen, was always so fucking wet, and it fit his cock perfectly. Each part of you, no matter the part, was made for him.

He groaned from behind you, licking his lips. “You’re fucking dripping.” His finger ran up the back of your thigh until it ghosted over your cunt, collecting some of your slick. 

You gripped the edge of the sink, trying to compose yourself. 

Eddie’s dark eyes looked at you through the mirror, smirking at you. He popped a finger in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, making sure it was nice and clean. “God, I can’t get enough of how you taste.”

Behind you, he got down on his knees. He placed a hand on your lower back, bending you over the sink. 

You let out a shocked moan the second you felt Eddie lick up from your sopping wet cunt all the way up to your puckered, pink hole. If this sink wasn’t made out of porcelain, it might have been broken with the tight grip you had on it. 

“Oh my fucking god.” Your eyes rolled in the back of your head just as Eddie wrapped his plump lips around your clit. “Yes- Eddie!” 

You reached a hand around and held into the back of his head, grinding your hips back against his exploring tongue. 

��Mmm, mhm.” He couldn’t say much, but Eddie was showing just how much he loved the taste of you. Letting his tongue dip into your cunt for a moment before licking up towards your ass, getting it all nice and wet with his spit. 

Eddie was slurping, licking, and sucking. He was doing everything he could with his skilled mouth and tongue to pull those pretty, pornographic moans that he loved so much coming from you.

Each moan sounded like an angel singing in his ears to him. If he could have your moans on repeat forever, he would.

The hand you had in Eddie’s hair pulled at his curls, his own moans sending vibrations through your body. “So good, Eddie, so fucking good!” 

It was hard to keep your balance and not fall straight to your knees. The pleasure was growing and you could feel your orgasm fast approaching, making your toes curl in your shoes.

Eddie knew you were close too, and he wanted to feel you cum all over his face. He pulled your pussy lips apart and suckled your clit back into his mouth, shaking his head side to side, letting his teeth barely graze it. 

Your clit throbbed in his mouth as your orgasm kept building and building until you finally let go. 

“I-I’m cumming!” You were afraid that Eddie would stop, edge you until you couldn’t take it anymore. But he let you cum, kept sucking at your clit like his life depended on it, making obscene slurping noises. 

You squeezed your eyes shut and slammed your hand on the sink as your orgasm ripped through your body. It was taking its time running through you, letting you feel every bit of pleasure it had to give. “Fuck, fuck!” 

It’s safe to say that no one could eat pussy like Eddie. He was a god at it. You knew it, he knew it, and so did all those girls that could hear you screaming in the bar.

Eddie pulled away just as you finished cumming, standing back up, and looking at you through the mirror. His lips were swollen, covered in the mess you had made on him, practically dripping in your cum. “You wanna taste?”

He didn’t wait for you to answer, just grabbed you, and forced your head to turn. His lips felt sticky, hot, and wet. His tongue danced around yours, both of you moaning into the kiss. You both lingered in the kiss for a moment, melting into each other. 

You pulled away, letting nothing but strings of salvia connect the two of you together. “Jesus Christ, Eddie.” Your breath was still labored from before, never fully catching it.

“I’m just getting started,” he grabbed the back of your thighs and sat you on the surprisingly sturdy sink. Your legs dangled above the floor and your ass barely hung off the sink. 

“You look so pretty all fucked out.” Eddie didn’t let you argue with him, shoving two of his thick fingers in your mouth. 

You bobbed your head up and down them, letting your tongue lick between them. Eddie and you held eye contact the whole time his fingers were in your mouth, you getting them all nice and wet. 

He kicked your legs apart and took his spit wet fingers from your mouth. 

“Eddie,” you bucked your hips into the air, already needing something touching you again. 

“Hmm?” He trailed his fingers up your thigh, licking his lips. “You want something?” 

“You know I do.” You grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand closer to your cunt. “Don’t do this to me, please.” 

“Look at you begging,” two fingers slowly slid into your cunt, your mouth falling agape. “What? nothing to say now?” 

Eddie held his fingers still, watching as you became greedy and fucked yourself against them. Your hips lifted off the sink a little each time you bucked your hips, trying to get Eddie to fuck you with his fingers. 

“Fucking move.” 

He grabbed you by the throat, squeezing it, and cutting off a small amount of your air supply. “Ask nicely and I’ll think about it.”

Your chest heaved as you tried to take in deep breaths, your heart starting to beat rapidly. “Shit- Eddie… please fuck me with your fingers, I need it.” 

Eddie smirked at you, resting his forehead against yours. “C’mon, that was nothing. I know you can do a lot better than that.”

“I’ll do whatever you want, please! You’re the only one who knows what I love, how to make me cum.” Your eyes welled, tears threatening to spill over. One orgasm wasn’t enough, your body craved more.

He curled his fingers inside your cunt, pumping them in and out. His eyes never left yours, watching as they filled with pleasure. “That’s a good fucking girl.” 

“Y-yes,” your breath came out hitched as his thumb started to toy with your clit. “I’m your good girl.” 

“Yeah?” His fingers fucked you harder, your body shaking each time he fucked them into you. “Just my good girl, right?” 

“Yes! Just- holy fucking shit!” 

Eddie caught you off guard, wrapping his lips around one of your swollen nipples. He pulled at it with his teeth before moving to the other way, doing the exact same thing. He hummed against your skin. 

Your head fell back against the mirror as your cunt squelched around his fingers, gushing as his fingers grazed against your g-spot. Your head spun as you let out silent screams, your body shaking the more you came. 

The breath felt like it was punched from your lungs, your throat raw. You didn’t want this feeling to ever stop. You felt purely euphoric, everything tingled in the most perfect way.

“Holy fuck, baby.” Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away you, his fingers still fucking into you harder and harder. He was in complete awe at the way you squirted from his fingers. “Such a dirty girl, aren’t you?”

Abruptly, he pulled his fingers out of you, watching the way they were dripping in your cum. You whined at the sudden feeling of emptiness. 

“Don’t worry,” Eddie helped you off the sink, holding you steady as your legs wobbled. “You get to cum on my cock this time.” 

You bent over the sink, pushing your ass out, and wiggling it in the air. As sensitive as you were, you craved his cock. “God, please. I need it.”

Eddie slid his pants and boxers down to his ankles, letting them pool. “I can see how badly you do, sweetheart.” He rubbed the throbbing top of his cock around your clit, slapping it a few times. “Want me to fill you up nice and full of my cum? Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” you turned your head to the side, making eye contact with him. “Please fill me up.” 

He barely let you finish talking before he slid his cock inside your soaked cunt, balls pressing right against your clit. Your body fell forward against the sink, your hand resting against the mirror. You were so full of cock that you couldn’t think straight, couldn’t form a coherent sentence. 

“I- Eddie- oh my,” your brain was shut off and the only thing it could focus on was the throbbing of Eddie’s cock stuffed tightly in your cunt.

“God dammit, baby,” Eddie pressed his body over yours, engulfing you in him. He dropped his head against your shoulder blade, his breath coming out in short pants. “Your cunt was made for my cock.”

You reached behind you, digging your nails into whatever part of him you could grab. “You feel so fucking good!” 

Eddie chuckled, “bet that bartender, or anyone else, couldn’t fuck tou like this huh? He wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing until you opened your mouth to catch your breath. “No, no… only I can fuck you this good.”

Your lungs burned for hair, but Eddie kept adding pressure. He smirked each time he squeezed your throat, making you whine. 

“O-only you can!” His cock felt so good, sliding in and out of you, making you gasp and writhe against him. 

Eddie pulled all the way out, leaving just the top of his cock inside you. You tried to grind your hips against him, but he let go of your throat to hold your hips still, keeping you in place. 

“Say you’re mine,” his fingers on one hand dug into your flesh while the other cupped your jaw, forcing you to look into the mirror. “Fucking say it.” 

You were a wreck, but you’ve never looked better. 

“I-I’m yours!” Eddie slammed back into you, his hips slamming into yours at a bruising pace. “I’m all fucking yours!”

“That’s right,” Eddie could feel you getting closer, your cunt tightening around his cock. “You gonna cum for me again, sweetheart?” 

“Please, please, please.”

He wrapped a hand around your body, finding your clit, and rubbing fast, harsh circles. Your body collapsed against the sink as your toes curled and thighs shook. You couldn’t hold it in any longer, fully letting go and cumming around Eddie’s cock. 

You saw stars as you squeezed your eyes shut and screamed Eddie’s name at the top of your lungs. 

“Yes, Eddie, yes!” You tried to stop shaking, to calm down but you couldn’t, not when Eddie didn’t stop fucking you. 

“Give me one more, I know you can.” He grabbed your shoulder and pressed his chest against your back. “Can you do it? You gonna cum with me?” 

You weakly nodded your head, letting Eddie do whatever he wanted to you. 

He was close, his hips stuttering as he kept fucking you. His fingers never left your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts, making you bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood. 

“My pretty fucking girl,” Eddie gritted his teeth. “Gonna fill you up and let my cum drip down your thighs so everyone can see.” 

You focused on him in the mirror. His eyes were shut, mouth opened as he groaned, and his chest flushed a bright red. “Do it, please fucking do it!”

Eddie’s hips stilled as the both of you finally came together, your cum dripping down his cock as he kept his promise, pumping you full of his cum. 

“T-take it all,” Eddie opened his eyes and looked between your bodies where he could see his cock twitch, cumming inside you. “Just like that, baby.”

Deep pants quickly filled up the now quiet bathroom, neither of you able to find your voice after cumming. The two of you stayed in the same position for awhile, savoring in the blissful moment of a jealous fuck. 

It wasn’t until someone was banging on the bathroom door that Eddie finally pulled out of you, both of you wincing from the sensation. 

You still had a tight grip on the sink, not trusting your wobbly legs to hold you up. “I can’t feel my legs.” 

Behind you, Eddie was pulling up his pants, a smirk plastered on his face. “What can I say? I always know how to make you feel good.”

You quickly flipped him off before finally getting dressed yourself. Your panties were nowhere to be found, but you just shrugged it off, someone would find them later. Only then did you remember that your shirt was ripped down the middle. “I need your shirt.”

“Why?” 

“Unless you want everyone to see my tits-“

Eddie tossed you his shirt, his jaw clenched just from the thought of someone seeing you in such an intimate way. “Put it on.”

You opened the bathroom door after getting dressed, noticing all the people staring at you. “Do you think they heard?” 

Eddie found your panties under the sink, shoving them in his back pocket, making sure it was noticeable that he had them. “With the way you scream for my cock? They definitely heard.”

[novankenn]

Familial Interference...

Glynda Goodwitch was racing through the Emerald Forest, with one unconscious Jaune Arc slung over her shoulder.

Pyrrha: (Yelling) Get back here with our man you cradle robbing cougar!!!

Glynda: (Yelling) He's my nephew you psychos!

Ruby : (Yelling) That just makes your attraction to him that much more worse!

Glynda: (Yelling) I am not attracted to Jaune! He's my nephew and DESPITE what his mother thinks... I am NOT letting any of you touch him!

Penny: (Yelling) But we are mother approved and insemination ready!

Glynda: (Yelling) You all need to be medicated!

Nora: (Yelling) Here's NORA!

Glynda tosses Jaune into the air, does a handstand flip off of Nora's magnhlid, catches Jaune, and continues racing deeper into the forest, as Nora's hammer shatters a tree upon impact.

Nora: Whoa... that was so cool!

Glynda kept pushing herself, she knew the only chance Jaune's chastity had was if she could get through the mountains, to the coast.

Glynda: Damn you Jasmine! Damn you demented baby crazy woman!

Pyrrha: (Yelling) Hag! Give us...

Glynda: (Yelling) I am NOT... HEY, get back here with my nephew!!

Ruby took off in a explosion of rose petals.

Back at Beacon... in the Headmaster's Office...

Jasmine Arc: (watching it all through a crystal ball on Ozpin's desk) That's it girls! That's it! Give me strawberry blond cuties to spoil! Give them all to me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Port, Oobleck and Ozpin all sat in the furthest away corner visibly cowering in fear.

Jasmine Arc: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[ronearoundblindly]

17 with Jake

or

25 with ransom

-👜

Jake Jensen x ops!reader: a kiss to distract. (Ransom will be posted separately.)

No warnings except Jake is a dumbass... Cute divider by @cafekitsune and I hope you enjoy! This is one of my Valentine's Fics for 2024. (Ransom will be in a separate post, btw.) WC 738

"Under no circumstances are you to zipline that damn thing, Jensen. You hear me?” Clay bellows over your comms. The whole squad can hear their friend’s stupid thoughts from hundreds of yards away.

Jake simply bounces his shoulders next to you on the skyscraper roof, an awkward grimace stretched across his face instead of a smile.

The cool, intense winds this high up swirl around while you watch your targets become smaller and smaller, taking the only hardware down the wire with them.

You and Jake burst through the access door, raced over to grasp at the jumpers, and missed by mere inches.

So your partner thinks on his feet. It’s very dangerous.

"Yeah, well, I don't see you guys having a better idea."

Your disbelief is palpable, as you loudly mutter, "permission to shoot him, boss?"

Then there's an explosion of noise in your ear.

"GODDAMNIT, JUST DON’T—“ "You idiot!" "Ten bucks says he goes splat.”

"No one bets on Pancake Jensen, okay?" You flash the bird toward the other rooftop where Cougar watches through binoculars.

Pooch scoffs. "Noob's no fun."

Jake is already ripping his belt from his jeans to use as a trolley.

Roque sighs. It’s so characteristic, he doesn’t even have to speak.

“Maybe no bets," Cougar chuckles, "but he's already playing strip poker."

"Jake, stop." You have to grip his hands to get his attention.

He's squinting at you in disbelief. "But they're getting away..."

"Yeah, and once they reach the bottom, that line'll get cut while you're still on it." He shifts so you have to step in front of him again and push at his t-shirt clad chest. "You cannot stick that landing."

"No hero landing?" Jake frowns.

You shake your head.

The group starts to throw out other options over the channel, and while you pay attention to that, your gaze wanders back to Cougar’s perch.

Jake sneaks past your grasp.

It’s only when the lookout starts shouting “woah, woah, woah,” that you realize Jensen’s about to toss the doubled-up leather of his belt over the wire, and you just…run.

You use your whole bodyweight to spin him. You push off the balls of your feet to reach level. Remarkably, you make it, your lips landing dead-center on his mouth parted in shock.

You did not, however, have time to calculate the ledge right behind Jake’s thighs.

He panics when he hits concrete and lurches forward, arms wrapping around you with an instinct to not die. Where was that consideration thirty seconds ago?

He holds on while stumbling, though, and by a few seconds in, you know he absolutely could have pulled away, if he wanted to, by now.

“Uh…”

Jake slides his big hands up to cup your face, lean further in, moving his head to the other side and licking the seam of your lips.

You weren’t expecting that.

Jensen always gripes about his awkwardness and lack of experience, but this is not amateur tongue action and definitely not detached. You can sense some real emotion in the dig of his fingers behind your ears, muffling your comms for who knows how long until one shift has your forehead smearing across his glasses.

“Sorry,” you blurt, breaking the kiss.

He lets go of your face just in time for you to see the thick wire snapping back toward the rooftop.

You grab Jake’s t-shirt in both fists and fling the pair of you to the ground.

“If you doofuses are alive,” Clay grumbles. “you better be halfway to the lobby.”

There’s a long, anguished sigh before Cougar adds, “and I just lost fifty bucks.”

Pooch whoops joyously.

“Hell yeah, I won the pot, didn’t I? Get it, Jensen. You’re my boy. I knew you could do it.”

Jake waits for the snaking wire to stop moving and nervously licks his bottom lip. “Right. No hero landing.” He squints at you again before popping up from the gravel, cleaning his lenses and inching toward the stairwell with wildly incoherent, stunted hand gestures. “We should…if you’re good…render-vous.”

On your elbows, you realize a talk with Jensen about this is not going to be pleasant. He’ll probably make you do all the talking and deny there was anything there between you. Maybe he is too awkward for his own good?

You reach past your feet toward the ledge, waving your find in the air.

“Don’t forget your belt.”

Bucky Barnes and a kiss, casually ⬅️ ➡️ Johnny Storm and a kiss in relief

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @spectre-posts @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @peyton--warren

[the-perverse-library]

jaune meets a fat willow schnee and has some kinks to play out with her

Jaune walked through the halls of Beacon, lost in his thoughts as his family had not come out to Beacon for the weekend, the young blonde doing his best not to dwell on his family's absence. So, he tried to think of anything else at that moment. His mind drifted to the first crush he developed since coming to Beacon: Glynda Goodwitch. The soft touch of wrinkles around the corners of her eyes and the subtle sag of her massive melons as they strain against the buttons of her blouse never failed to make Jaune drool and grow harder than iron and more lustful than a Faunus in heat. He couldn't explain it, but for as long as he could think about it, Jaune had a thing for mature women. Something about their supple, round curves and how refined they looked from being older made the blond paladin's blood run hot.

Jaune was pulled from his thoughts as he felt his armour groan around his throbbing cock. Aaaahhh... Dammit. I need to go take care of this, Jaune thought as he weakly limped into a random dorm room, focused on shedding his armour and emptying his balls until his cock went soft. But before he could unlock his armour, Jaune turned and faced the most striking woman he had ever seen. Her face was flush as she slowly sipped a large cup of red win as she was splayed across a sofa.

He stared at her, completely stunned by her beauty, the soft crinkle of crow's feet at the edges of her heart-shaped face and the swell and strain of her curves pulling against her rich and expensive clothes. Every soft curve wobbled and had a tiny bit of sag as the mature woman gulped down the rest of her glass and let it tumble out of her hand and clatter against the carpeted floor. She blew Glynda out of the water! A lone dark thought fluttered into Jaune's head as he moved toward the platinum-blonde milf.

"Hey... I'm Jaune, w-who are you?" Jaune asked as he wrapped his arms around her, surreptitiously sinking his fingers into her ass as he held her against him. Every step Jaune took as he led the hazy-eyed mature beauty to his own dorm filled him with a powerful lust, and he wanted to act out all his desires on the plump, round angel in his arm. Even her perfume left him feeling shivers of delight and want.

"Are you only just going to grope me?" A slurred question echoed out just as Jaune opened the door to his dorm, leaving him shocked and red in the face as he turned to see the mature milf looking up at him with a knowing smile. "Where'd all your lustful confidence disappear off to? You want something, and I want the same something. If you want, I can pretend I'm passed out and you can just... help yourself."

"I-I aaah... n-never got your name." Jaune sputtered out as the loving cougar had literally giving him carte blanche to have his way with her.

"Oh, now my young paramour wants to know my name." The milf drunkenly giggled. "I'm Willow Schnee; I take it you've met my daughter, Weiss."

"I-yes," Jaune answered quickly.

"Good. Then you know why I needed a drink... and maybe a fat, juicy cock." Willow purred as she continued to work her fingers up and down Jaune's clothed cock. "Come on, lay me down on the bed and use me, rip my clothes and drill into my holes until I pass out in your arms and then keep fucking me." Every hot, hungry word from Willow's mouth sent all blood in Jaune's body down south as all other thoughts outside of Willow and Willow's body evaporated from his mind as he threw the door shut and tore off his armour and clothes.

His lips claimed hers, tasting the heady and rich red wine she had been drinking as he pulled her down onto the bed. He threw everything he had into worshipping every supple curve and plump swell of Willow's body, memorising every last succulent, beautiful inch of her mature body. Willow was his world and wanted to satisfy his own burning lusts as much as she desired him to satisfy her own neglected lusts and desires. He watched her serene and still face as she pretended to sleep, of giving herself to every desire he had thrumming and beating inside him. His hands moved on their own as he spread her legs open and slammed forward.

Weiss stomped across the courtyard of Beacon as she was trying to find her mother; she had told her to wait in their team dorm room as they waited for Kali, Rose and Raven to show up for Blake, Ruby, and Yang. "I can't believe that she disappeared! J-just... I just want one day where I don't have to babysit my own mother!" Weiss sighed to herself. Entirely unaware and utterly oblivious to her mother slapping against one of the windows facing the courtyard as Jaune groped and squeezed every inch of her body as he jackhammered and came deep into the cock-drunk milf's overstuffed mature pussy.

[dollfaceksj]

Omggggggggg that was so good!! Pls tell me you’ll actually continue that drabble, you took that request and rannnn omg the suspense is definitely there

well now u make me wanna continue so here’s a ??? continuation????? (mind u im just freestyling/improvising as i go)

this is really lengthy my bad. i just cant stfu for the life of me

ps: this takes place about 2 weeks after the first drabble!

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #2

masterlist

<- previous ; next ->

“who was that?” you ask your friend slash classmate, eunbi, with a nod to her phone

she had left the room to pick up a phone call which she usually doesn’t do?? so ofc ur intrigued.

not to mention the smile on her lips like she just won the lottery??

“hm?” she looks a bit out of it before she realizes what you just asked. “oh. no one.”

hm.

you don’t like that.

your curious nature doesn’t like that.

“oh, come on,” you whine as you nudge her hip with your foot from where you’re laying in her bed

it’s not any of your business but you want to know

life around here is boring okay.

“stoppp,” she giggles as she slaps your foot away before tucking her phone into her jeans

“oh, my god. are you seeing someone?” you sit up the moment you notice her cheeks reddening

she shakes her head. “nah.”

hm. what else could it be?

“ex?”

“hell no. she’s blocked on every thing.”

yeahh… her ex was a fucking weirdo.

“sneaky link?”

she doesn’t reply to that.

she doesn’t REPLY TO THAT.

sooo. it’s a sneaky link.

you reach for her wrists and tug her down onto the bed. “who is it?”

she lets you pull her down and she groans but she can’t help but smile

you know you’re being pushy but you need to know NEOW

“look at you being all giddy! you have to tell me now.” you just need a bit of juice and gossip tbh

it’s been too long since something interesting has happened in your life

about a month ago your own sneaky link cried on top of you while he was balls deep in you because he missed his ex

what a fucking bitch 😭

she finally says, “you don’t know him, he’s not even in our year.”

not in our year?

but you’re seniors in uni.

that could only mean that..

that he’s younger.

“not in our year? okay, cougar.”

“stop! this is why i didn’t wanna say anything,” she huffs as she pushes you off but you pull her right back

“i’m just messing with you, sorry, now tell me!!”

she sighs and sits up straight, tucking a lock of her short black hair behind her ear

“his name is jeon jungkook and he’s a junior, but he…”

the rest of what she says doesn’t even reach your brains anymore

there’s no fucking way

there’s absolutely no fucking way???

you cut her off mid-ramble. “jeon jungkook?”

she glances at you and her smile slowly fades. “you know him?”

you blink at her in disbelief for a few moments.

“are you…?”

huh?

oh god.

is she

is she implying you’re also having sex with jeon jungkook?

“what? no! gross.” you shake your head. “he’s my friend’s friend.”

she frowns as she listens to you but then you watch the realization set on her face. “oh, that’s right, you’re good friends with taehyung.”

you slowly nod but you can’t seem to ignore how dry your mouth has gotten

what are the fucking odds…

“i didn’t know he was fuckin’ like that.”

“that’s because he tells all the girls he fucks to keep it to themselves.” she says it so nonchalantly that it’s got you a bit confused. “so don’t tell anyone!”

ALL THE GIRLS HE FUCKS?

there’s gotta be some kind of camera in the corner, recording you getting pranked

besides this being about jungkook, it still doesn’t make a lot of sense

“why would he do that? don’t guys get off on flaunting how many girls theyve fucked?”

she shakes her head and kisses her teeth loudly

“not him. you wanna know why?” she looks around the room as if anyone’s eavesdropping

you automatically lean in closer

you can’t help it, the curiosity gets the better of you

not that you’re interested in him!!!!

you’re just… down for some juice and gossip

“he doesn’t fuck girls for the validation of other men.” she smirks as she leans back on her palms. “he fucks girls because he loves fucking them.”

…

?

oh

ha.

haha

😂😂😂 okay

that singlehandedly knocked the air out of your lungs

HUH???

but eunbi is not finished

no, she keeps talking

“like.. he’s obsessed with eating pussy. and he’s so fucking good at it.”

alright. that’s enough

“okay, i get it, jesus.” you hold your hand up, motioning for her to stop talking

she laughs loudly. “i thought you wanted to know?”

your karma for being a nosy bitch.

“are you sure you’re not pranking me?” you ask her, still unable to process half the things she just told you

“why would i be lying?”

you fight the urge to stare at her with a blank expression and say Girl.

“eunbi, he looks like he naruto ran in his school hallways until 10th grade.”

she chuckles and shakes her head at your assumptions about him.

“you’d be surprised, y/n. i’m pretty sure he’s fucked most girls in our year.”

WHAT?

there’s no fucking way

what the hell

so he really doesn’t want people to know?

is it a reputation thing?

maybe he’s conservative.

in theory at least?

cause how else would that work

and now you’re intrigued.

that intrigue dies about an hour later when you’re bored out of your mind and decide to go bother tae

“there’s my fav girl!” he yells into the corridor as he swings the door open

you slap your hand right on top of his mouth. “your neighbors, you idiot!”

“oh, right right.”

he’s so dumb seriously

he lets you in and you go to sit on his bed, it’s more comfortable than his couch

“are you expecting anyone else?” you ask, plugging your phone in his charger. you haven’t seen joon in a while.

he thinks about it for a moment. “jungkook’s coming over in like 5 minutes.”

ah

lol

alright

well

perfect opportunity to see if the rumors are true, no??

he’ll break like a dam under pressure

he can’t even look you in the eyes. it’ll be a piece of cake

and then you get an idea to get tae OUT.

“ughhh, i’m really in the mood for some doritos.” you hope he’ll offer to go to the store so you can have a few minutes alone with so-called pussy king jeon jungkook

he shoots up from his couch. “i got some in the kitchen.”

fuck

new plan

you kiss your teeth with a loud smack. “do you have ice cream?”

he thinks about it. “i have a ben & jerry’s tub in the freezer.”

“what kind?”

“strawberry cheesecake.”

bingo

“ughhh, i was really craving some chocolate chip cookie dough.” you add a whine to your tone in hopes you can sell the act

“i’m pretty sure you can order some on uber eats.”

for fuck’s sake

how annoying

“it’s so much more expensive, though.” you try to reason with him

he frowns at you. “so, what do you want me to do?”

you flutter your eyes innocently at him. “will you go to the nightshop?”

he groans

loudly

“you want me to go there for a tub of ice cream?”

“i’m starting my period soon, tae. pleaseeee.”

your period actually just ended but he doesn’t need to know that

a loud sigh leaves his mouth. “alright.”

you blow him a kiss as he leaves through the front door, keys, wallet and phone in hand

not long after tae leaves, the doorbell rings

heart drops straight into your ASS

why are you nervous YOU WANTED THIS

why are you nervous IT’S JUST JUNGKOOK

you swing the door open and well..

there he is

jungkook is a bit startled

he definitely did not expect to see you here

“oh.”

you tilt your head to the side as the surprised sound leaves his lips

his pretty pink lips

the wide cupid’s bow and the double lip rings in the bottom right corner of his mouth

wait

what the FUCK are you doing

SAY SOMETHING DUMB BITCH!!!

“hi.”

… bitch.

hi. REALLY?

“hey,” he chuckles, big black eyes softly squinting at you as his lips stretch in a smile

if you knew him better you’d say that was … mockery.

but wow. that uhhhh was pretty hot

STOP THINKING

“is he here?” he asks, peeking into the seemingly empty apartment

“he’s picking up some snacks from the store. do you want anything?” you step aside to let him in

he walks in and kicks off his shoes

the moment he walks past you to go sit on the couch drives you up the fucking wall

cause he smells

so

fucking

good

“no, thank you.”

you shut the door behind him, wondering why now all of a sudden your heart is beating a mile a minute

he reaches for a controller but comes to an abrupt halt. “d’you mind if i play till hyung gets here?”

hyung

HYUNG

constant reminder that he’s younger than you. GRRRR

you chuckle and wave your hand at him in dismissal. “it’s not like you guys do anything different anyway.”

he glances at you for a moment before deciding not to comment and starting up the console, switching the channel to one of the hdmi slots

another stupid idea

you slowly approach the couch and sit next to him

his eyes slowly shift a few centimeters in your direction but they never reach your figure

he must find it weird cause you ALWAYS claim the bed

ALWAYS!!!

nonetheless, he starts up his video game

“what game is that?” you find yourself asking him something you’ve never given a shit about in your entire fucking life

why would you do that you dumb bitch😭

he slowly glances at you, eyes lingering on your face.

his eyes drop to your lips for a split second before he returns his gaze to the tv. “it’s an rpg.”

hm.

right!

you don’t know what the fuck that is

“what does rpg mean?”

to that, he frowns. this is the most you’ve ever talked to him and you wanna talk about final fantasy?

he answers anyway. “role-playing game.”

ha.

lol.

don’t do it

don’t you fucking do it

“ah. you into role-play, jungkook?”

FOR FUCKS SAKE

oh and the way you said his name YOU NEED TO BE SEDATED

he fully turns his head to you, a blank expression on his face. you can’t tell what he’s thinking at all

just as he looks like he’s about to answer, the front door swings open and it makes him scoot away from you.

….you didn’t even fucking notice he’d gotten closer

FUCK

taehyung appears in the doorframe with a plastic bag in his hand and his usual chirpy expression. “what did i miss?”

to..be…..continued???

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[only-fragments]

I had to draw a picture of what I think of when I hear the word "spirituality" so this is what I drew. When I think of spirituality, the feeling that comes over me is one of safety and belonging. It reminds me of pictures I've seen of cubs with their mothers, usually lion cubs or cougar cubs. You have these silly little balls of fluff who are totally defenseless, so at the mercy of the wide, scary world around them, and then you have their big, powerful mothers who can take down creatures three times their weight but handle their cubs with so much care and affection. You can just see that the cubs feel completely safe with their families, that they have the utmost faith that nothing bad will happen to them with Mama nearby. And that gives me so many feels.

[astrronomemes]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT (PART II): STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from Texts From Last Night. change & alter as needed.

"These cougars are squabbling over my junk, and one of them is offering to pay my tuition."

"Goddamn it, I am no longer putting up with your heterosexuality! I quit!"

"Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duct tape owes me new leg hair."

"How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one of those."

"It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested."

"Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?"

"That's the second time my extensive knowledge of Taylor Swift has gotten me laid."

"Update: I may or may not be in a cult. Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult."

"All I heard was 'I swear it'll be funny', and then we were in jail."

"Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality."

"Sometimes, you've got to crawl to stay conscious."

"Where's the 'chopping someone's balls off' emoji?"

"Just so you know — and I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you — blue raspberry Pop-Tarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones."

"At McDonald's last night, the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, 'YOU MCFUCKED UP'."

"I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozzarella sticks."

"Do you recall asking me to zipline through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?"

"Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?"

"You know how fear has a smell? Well, it turns out that shame has a smell, too. It's pina-colada-flavored anal grease."

"She's 6'2! You bet your ass I slept with her!"

"I do have a moral compass! I can't help it if it only points at penises!"

"Let the record show that I hate your ass."

"He's exactly what I'm looking for: he's got a broken heart, a working penis, and a new boat!"

"Long story short, Grandma needs bail money."

"Please don't ironically join a cult."

[trashbag-baby666]

Parental clegan is rotting the brain, now enjoy the braining of me and kat being allowed to be high together irl:

Cordelia tried a lot of different activities but she really stuck with equestrianism and competitive cheer. She’s been doing both since she was little, Gale and John are very versed in the cheer world. They can do the rhinestones, the hair teasing and curlers, the dramatic makeup.

But what Gale really worries about the most is the negative aspects he’s seen with the older cheer kids. He worries about the negative body image and eating disorder prevalence. He’s worried about bullying too, really everything that could go wrong circled his brain. Which was why he was hesitant for Flynn to do gymnastics.

She was climbing stuff at 14 months old and John suggested a kiddies tumbling class. She fell in love with it, as she got older Gale tried to get her into other sports. He didn’t really want her doing gymnastics, but she hated everything else they tried.

They signed her up for T-ball and half an hour into the first practice John had to carry her off the field. She’s completely lying limp in his arms like a dead weight, she’s just really committed to it.

So, back to the gym they go with her. They make sure that the gym is a right fit for her too, making sure she gets along with the others, likes her coaches, all that. John gets along really well with all the gym moms. He’s sitting up in the viewing area with them with his coffee at early Saturday morning practices. He’s rhinestoning a leotard for an upcoming meet. He helps make all the girls cute matching hair bows too. When they get Gymnastics Mom shirts they don’t even special order a Gymnastics Dad one for him. He’s just one of the girls.

But believe me those cougars go crazy for Gale. (Me too). Don’t get me started on the gym moms when Curt comes. They gawk at his muscles and how handsome he is. But he’s too busy being the coolest guy there in all of the kids opinions.

Flynn is very proud of her uncle Curt. If she could bring him as her show and tell item she would…and he would happily do it too…

[theprongspotter]

The Marauders and Co. As Anamagi

James: Stag or a Golden Retriever

Sirius: Black Scottish Deerhound

Peter: Rat

Regulus: Black Cat

Barty: Chihuahua or a Silver/Black Fox

Evan: Raccoon

Pandora: Red Panda

Lily: Orange Tabby Cat

Marlene: Cougar

Dorcas: Ball Python

Mary: Lioness

Alice: Otter

Frank: Beagle

[weministertomonsters]

Sin - 1

➤ Wordcount - 1.8k

There was a hush in the air when Lily came back from the market in the next village over. Jericho was the biggest village in the valley of Sarhain, and it was unusual for it to be this quiet. All the adults seemed to have disappeared. When she passed a group of children playing ball on the main street she paused.

"Where is everyone?" She asked.

The motley group was begrudging of adults, but Lily was kind and sometimes passed out sweets, so she was a favorite even among the youngsters.

"They're up in the church," a boy with hair like a pile of thatch said, tossing the ball from one hand to another. "Called a meeting, they did."

"What for?" Lily glanced up at the church, a simple board-wood building perched on a small hill that overlooked the rest of the town.

"Farmer Johnson caught a monster!" One girl exclaimed. "A scary thing with teeth longer than my arm!"

She wasn't much older than six. Her tangled hair was up in pigtails, and she was wearing a dress that had been patched many times over. Her knees were nothing but muddy spots. She had a pair of shoes, but it was rare to see her wearing them.

"Margie, I've told you to keep out of the dirt, haven't I? And look at your hair," Lily sighed. "If you come around my cabin later, I'll brush it for you, alright?"

Margie nodded complacently. Lily had stopped along the way to pick the last of the autumn berries to make pies, so she gave them a small basket of the fruit to share and dropped her things off at her cabin before she hurried to the church to see what was going on. She slipped inside to find the place in turmoil.

Farmer Johnson and the handyman Hendrik Sully were shouting at each other by the communion table, and everyone else was engaging in smaller arguments, with each person picking a side.

"What was I s'posed to do? That thing has been just tearin' up my sheep for weeks! I can't afford to lose an entire flock!" Johnson said, hands on his hips.

With skin the rich color of cocoa beans, and a physique built from physical work, Johnson was quite a sight. He wore his black hair shorn close to the scalp to hide the gray that was peppered throughout, but Lily thought the gray only made him more attractive. He had enough stubbornness in him to rival the unrelenting tide of the sea and wasn't an easy man to argue with. Lily had never seen him raise a hand, though the idea seemed to be brewing as his brown eyes grew darker.

"Well now, you should know better 'n me than to bring a foul creature into the house o' the Lord! I thought you were a god-fearin' man," Hendrik snapped back with his beefy arms folded obstinately, spots of color rising in his pale cheeks.

The whole matter might have been calmed if the town of Jericho had a figure of authority to command the moment. Like the good Reverend, perhaps, but he was visiting his sick mother two towns away. He would not be back for at least two more days. Hendrik and Johnson looked about ready to scrap, so Lily put her fingers in her mouth and whistled the way her father had taught her. The piercing sound was painful to even her ears, but it settled the chaos as heads turned in her direction.

"What's happened?" She asked.

Lily had studied to become a nurse before she had married and settled in Jericho. Mothers came to her for treatments for their coughing children and men often came in with broken bones or cuts. She had even treated a prize cow once. Her skill meant that she held a measure of respect. Excited for a new ear to relay the story to, the villager overlapped each other with their version of the event as they vied for the spotlight. Gradually, Lily understood the story.

Something had been eating Farmer Johnson's sheep, and he had managed to catch it. Shocked that it was not some common predator like a wolf or cougar, he had tied it up in the church cellar for the lack of a better place. Now nobody knew what to do with it because the thing would not die.

"Tis no animal that walks god's green earth, Mrs. Lily," Johnson said, removing his hat. "Tis the devil's work."

As far as Lily was concerned, everything died at some point, so she was intrigued by the claim that two arrows and a cut to the neck had not felled the creature.

"I will take a look at it," she said. "Farmer Johnson, you come with me. Everyone else, wait here. The cellar is too small for all of us."

The crowd remained behind, while she and Johnson walked out to the cellar. The place was used as a refuge in case of heavy storms, but it had been a long time since it was used. Lily winced as Johnson threw open the door and an unpleasant coppery scent met her nose.

"Goodness," she coughed, holding her sleeve over her nose.

Johnson paused on the steps. "Maybe you shouldn't see this, Mrs. Lily," he said.

"I'll be fine. Lead the way."

By the light of the lantern he had brought, they descended the stairs. The cellar was bigger than Lily remembered, and the stone floor sounded dull under her feet. Each step brought up a puff of dust. Johnson hefted the lantern above his head, flooding the room with the weak golden light.

Lily gasped as the thing lifted its head and growled. While the sheer size and look of it alone was intimidating, the growl sounded weak, like a dog beaten into submission.

Humanoid, wolfish, beast. Those words sufficed as a description. Standing on two legs like a human, its body was twisted and hairy, a brown so dark it might as well have been black. It had a tail, hanging like a dead weight against its leg, and it looked to be almost twice her height, pointed ears nearly touching the ceiling.

The yellow eyes were the most remarkable feature. As they met hers, Lily felt the most uncomfortable sensation prickling over her body. This was no animal, though it looked quite like one.

She stepped closer, entranced.

"Never have I seen such a thing," she murmured, awed.

Johnson touched her shoulder. "Don't get too close, now. He's bound up good, but you never know."

"He?" She queried, and only then did she notice the cloth knotted around the lean, tapered waist.

"Caught him like that. Roaming with no clothes on, real improper-like," Johnson said and coughed. "He isn't normal down there either, forgive me for saying."

"Of course," Lily said matter-of-factly. In her line of work, she had seen people in little or no clothes at all.

She took in the creature again. His arms were tied back against one of the wooden pillars, and Lily wondered whether the wood was strong enough to hold him there. The position bared his chest, and she could see the working of his ribcage with each rattling breath.

The two arrows that had been mentioned were lodged in his body, one under the arm and another through the belly. Vital spots. Blood leaked sluggishly from the wounds and soaked into the cloth.

Lily stepped forward again, gently shaking Johnson's warning touch off.

"I want to remove the arrows to see what happens."

Johnson grunted and grabbed the pitchfork resting in the corner, coated with dried blood.

"If he tries anything, I'll stick him, don't you worry."

The declaration did little to calm Lily's nerves, and her hands trembled so badly that it took two tries to grab one of the arrows. The creature moaned as she twisted and wiggled it.

"I'm going to have to pull it out," she mumbled to herself.

Johnson let out a gasp when she planted her hand square on the chest of the creature where the hairs grew into a thick mane. The beast lurched and snapped his teeth, but the ropes held. Flinching from the sight of those fangs- indeed, they were almost as large as a child's arm- she yanked with all her might, and out the arrow came with a sucking sound of parting meat.

"Hand me the lantern," she commanded, her hand already outstretched to receive it.

Johnson gave it to her and inched closer as well. Together they watched the dark hole seam shut, healing into a scar before their eyes.

"Witchcraft," Johnson uttered, but Lily barely heard it.

She removed the next arrow in the same manner, except this time she poked her index finger into the wound afterward. She could feel the flesh squirming against her skin, trying to put itself back together.

"I say, Mrs. Lily!" Johnson said, consternated and looking sick. "You shouldn't-"

"This is fascinating," Lily said. "Get me a knife, will you?"

"Whatever for?" Johnson said uneasily.

Lily turned to him, her eyes flashing in light of this new discovery. "Perhaps I can find a way to kill it," she said evenly.

Johnson brightened. "Yes indeed," he said and took the stairs so quickly he almost tripped.

Lily held the lantern up to the creature's face, wincing at the tangled visage of animal and human as she kept herself well out of the way of his short reach. With no one to witness her curiosity, she felt almost fearless as she poked here and there.

His hairy skin was hot to the touch, the heat branding against her fingers. Her hands mapped out what parts of his body she dared touch, matching this and that to a human body. Other parts, like the legs, could not be resolved. They twisted somewhat like haunches but had enough mobility to let him stand upright. Lily guessed that he could run on all fours, and it would probably be efficient and quick. She shuddered at the thought of this beast lurking in the woods.

She glanced up into those eyes again and felt a touch of sympathy for this strange creature. It was enough for her to murmur,

"You should have stayed hidden."

The creature pushed his head back and let out a howl so ghostly that she fell over, nearly dropping the heavy lantern on herself. Her ears rang long after he had finished, and she sat there on the dusty ground and watched as he snuffled and wheezed and struggled in place.

──────────────

✋😔 How long have I been out? I got hit with a bout of depression and then writer's block and have spent days fighting for every scrap of energy to do anything at all. I am still working on Part 2 of Harcourt btw. It was lingering in the back of my head like an ominous shadow, so much so that yesterday I literally dreamt that I had written it. The stress! 😭

This lycan story has been in my head for a couple of days, and I'm glad I started to write it. I have plans- no promises though, at this point we all know I'm BAD at keeping them. Anyway, I hope someone missed me at least a little bit! ❤

[bluedemon1995]

Finally done! Hope you enjoy!

Free day 8

After that dramatic declaration, she LEFT. Wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Said it was for his own good. Yeah right. There’s no world or universe that her not being in his life was good for him.

He had a quick meeting of the minds and told them in no uncertain terms, that he was not going to let her have her way. She could not just avoid him forever. She was his. But he needed help. If she wouldn’t see him, he needed help.

He was in trouble though. He had no real experience in dating. Nor was he any good with feelings or talking. Shit. This was going to take some planning.

Day 9 10/31 Happy Halloween

“Just say it. Say you don’t want me. Say you don’t love me anymore. Stop dragging this out!” Katie exclaimed angrily, wiping at the tears escaping her hazel eyes.

Keith froze. What the fuck?! He didn’t give a shit about the Halloween ball or party. Don’t want her? Not love her? How could that ever be a reality? He didn’t just love her. He adored her. He worshipped her. She was his world. How did she not know? How did he fail so epically that he was contemplating marriage, and she was thinking they were over?

He’s moving without conscious thought, grabbing her hand, and dragging her out of the Halloween party of some stuffy ballroom. No this was not acceptable. He pulled her not caring how it looked to those around them. Unfortunately, not everyone was on the same page. Some new Staff Sergeant moved in his path. Keith growled.

“Oh, excuse me, I was hoping for a minute of your time. Care to dance?”

Katie rolled her eyes. Oh, she knew this, Sergeant. Tough as nails in battle yet, Veronica called her a lion…panther…or maybe a cougar. She had quite the reputation of loving the attention of men especially younger men who had battle experience. The way Veronica talked; no man has ever said no to her. She knew she was after Keith from the debrief a few weeks ago.

Katie was used to feeling inadequate though. She always had faith in Keith. It didn’t matter if girls liked him or threw themselves at him. She knew he was loyal to the core and would never cheat. But that didn’t make seeing people throw themselves at him any easier. Each time, it felt like it chipped away at her. Sometimes she felt like that little girl who had no friends and was isolated. Biting her lip, she tuned back into the conversation.

Keith was giving her some information but seemed angry. She should leave. She pulled her arm away, and whispered, “Keith, why don’t you figure this out and we can talk later.”

She turned and took one step when suddenly, the world turned, and she was looking at Keith’s…butt?

Pulling up she looked and realized, Keith had grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder! He was stalking through the hall and she felt the cold fall air. With his hand clamped firmly on her thigh, he kept walking.

Katie could hear the whispers and exclamations, “Dammit Keith, put me down!”

“No. We need to talk and I need you to listen.”

Katie’s head was starting to hurt because all her blood was rushing to her head. She swatted at Keith’s back and even pinched him. But he just kept going.

Suddenly, Katie was plopped down on a kitchen counter.

Looking up at Keith, she lost her train of thought.

Suddenly, Keith was on one knee. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a ring. “Katie, I’m sorry if I haven’t made my feelings known. I love you. More than I ever thought possible. You aren’t just my girlfriend. You’re more than my best friend, more than a teammate and partner. You’re” Keith cleared his throat, “my everything.”

Katie blinked, tears quickly forming in her eyes again. “But, you’ve been weird ever since our rainy day. You’ve seemed distant and I thought, maybe, things have run their course for you.”

Keith shook his head, “Babe, no! It’s just I had plans. I had a picnic, and photographer and food and I was going to propose then. But, then it rained and it all fell apart. So I talked to Lance and Hunk again. I mean, I asked them for more help and we were trying to come up with a better plan. But I’m sorry if you saw my disappointment as something else.”

He held out the ring, and Katie could see his hand was shaking. Shaking. He had the steady hands of a surgeon. He meant this. This wasn’t pity. When she looked into his eyes, she saw. Crying Katie slid into his arms, holding him tight.

“Yes.” Wrapped in Keith’s firm embrace, feeling his warmth, breathing in his scent, this is the only place she wants to be. Forever.