#The Annals of the Akatsuki

[phlebaswrites]

The Annals of the Akatsuki

Summary:

The Akatsuki have never been what anyone would call normal.

(They still aren't.)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Gen Word Count: approximately 2K (Complete and posts one chapter daily)

This story is for @kurakura0-0 and @dominaaurum, both of whom idea bounced with me as I plotted it.

I know it's been a long time coming, thank you for waiting!

Yahiko: *yelling* How could you be so reckless!

Nagato: It was for the mission!

Yahiko: *snatching a paper fan out of Konan's hand and hitting Nagato with it* It was stupid!

Nagato: *fending him off* Ow! Yahiko!

Yahiko: *hitting Nagato repeatedly on the shoulders* You have a family here! Siblings! You have to come home to them!

Nagato: Ow, ow, ow! Yes, alright? Yes, I won't do it again!

Konan: *folding her arms over her chest* Good.

Read the rest on AO3.

[phlebasphoenician]

Darkest before Dawn

Summary: Nagato has a hard start in life. (But everything is better with friends.)

Rating: Mature (for violence) Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Gen Word Count: 2592 (Complete)

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Nagato who lived in Hāto no Kuni.

Though Hāto no Kuni was named the heart of Japan, it was filled with chaos and fighting. It could hardly be otherwise when it was split between the three shinobi villages of Amegakure, Kusagakure, and Yukigakure, and all three of them were competing for territory and missions. Adding to the problem was the way Kumogakure and Konohagakure were constantly sending missions into the area in an effort to expand their influence.

Nagato’s parents, Ise and Fusō, were doctors who dedicated their lives to helping the sick, and worked with the support of his father’s home village, Amegakure. They settled into a rural area, and healed anyone who asked, no matter their allegiances. Beloved by the farmers who were their neighbours, they raised their three children in safety and love, hoping to avoid the villages warring all around them.

But sometimes, though you try to avoid it, war comes to your door anyway.

Read the rest on AO3.

[tozettastone]

Akatsuki but I ranked them by whether or not they'd have sex with their clones. Obviously, under a cut. Not too graphic but still essentially a list about clone-fucking.

11. Tobi: Obito is a prude and you can't convince me otherwise. He views clone-fucking as crazy kinky shit only gotten up to in the annals of Icha Icha fanfic, not something real people do. Nevertheless he has 100% made a clone to hug him in the quiet privacy of his ongoing nervous breakdown, so take that where you like.

10. Deidara: This is weird and gross and his face is completely changing colours!!! (Deidara is... young.) You can't just ask him weird questions like that! (Never mind that Deidara makes clones just to blow them up. If you taught him the shadow clone technique he'd use it just to remember the "experience". He has no leg to stand on, but these are very different abuses of clone techniques, to him.)

9. Sasori: No, because all the interest he ever feels is intellectual now. He finds Deidara's disgust performative and foolish, though.

8. Pein: Always has clones, but Nagato is maybe too depressed and/or sick for sex? The constant availability of clones would seem to put him high on this list, but actually he kind of feels guilty and resentful and angry about that kind of physical indulgence and is actively hostile towards things that cause him pleasure. Please get some therapy, Nagato.

7. Hidan: Highly orthodox within his own perception of what's normal and moral, to be honest. Clone sex is weird and hasn't really occurred to him to try, but if you ask about it he'll contemplate the strange perversions of other people. If Hidan wants sex, he wants it with another person. People's consciousness of physical experiences is important to him, and also he likes being their focus. Like... pay attention to him!

6. Kisame: Has heard of this and isn't throwing a tantrum about it like some of these others, but also he hasn't tried it himself. It seems like a lot of effort for the payout.

5. Itachi: Itachi's too sick and tired to think about sex a lot without, like, significant input from someone else. His intense physical desires are probably more along the lines of that feeling when you finally lie down after an interminably long day and your whole body seems to decompress. If you asked him about it, he'd probably completely ignore you—a shun, like you aren't even there. But really, if he thinks about it internally, at least if someone is using their clones for sex they're not inflicting themselves on the populace. (His mind drifts to Jiraiya. Hmm. Yes.)

4. Zetsu: Has no kind of procreative instinct. Still tried it. Experience middling. Not sure why people like any of it, really?

3. (Honorary) Orochimaru: ...Orochimaru is the only person with whom Orochimaru has ever had sex for the pleasure of it. Every other sexual encounter, ever, has been largely about the other person. He likes to control other people by provoking them into some kind of response. People are very cute when they're screaming and crying, and there's more than one way to skin a cat.

2. Kakuzu: He is over ninety and made of a bubbling mass of tentacles. You can be pretty sure if it's physically possible, he's tried it. Next!

1. Konan: The only other person she would potentially, possibly have considered allowing to touch her is now the lifeless puppet of her friend. The ardour has... cooled, there. She has needs though, and clone techniques are nowhere near as chakra or control-intensive as her overpowered paper jutsu. Her clones are safe, clean and pleasant smelling, which is more than can be said about anyone else. Thursday nights are self care nights and it's more than your life is worth to interrupt her.

[phlebaswrites]

Akatsuki Adventures

Summary:

The Akatsuki have always been unique.

(That hasn't changed.)

Takes place in 3320.

Rating: General Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi Word Count: 366 (Complete)

The final story of Courting Culture Confusion.

"Engines checked, and ready for manoeuvring." Hidan's hands move confidently over his control panel, and their captain nods to acknowledge his report.

"Communications is ready," Itachi answers for his own section when Konan-sama raises an eyebrow at him, though everyone knows things will have truly become hopeless if they need to call on him.

"Weapons hot and ready to go." Kisame grins cheerfully, and Itachi shakes his head at the way his lover is clearly unbothered by the possibility of potentially hostile lifeforms at their destination.

"All systems are go, Captain." Konan-sama bows formally, and Captain Nagato sinks into the oversized chair that houses the relays which will allow him to access their chakra.

Read the rest on AO3.

[phlebasphoenician]

I was bizarrely productive writing on the writing front this weekend.

One story posted, which you can find here, three rough drafts completed, and I just met my deadline as a beta reader.

In total, I churned out 8K words of fiction in two days. Not bad, and it kind of makes up for two weeks of eking out the last few chapters of Know your Karma, which has since been renamed To Kindle Knowledge, word by word.

The rough drafts are as follows:

Killing for a Kingdom - the sequel of To Kindle Knowledge

Darkest before Dawn - Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko’s story

Swimming with Sharks - Kisame’s story

All of them fit into the AU of Courting Culture Confusion, but I’m going to have to start making several sub-series for them within it.

To Kindle Knowledge and Killing for a Kingdom are going to be linked together under Know your Karma, Kagami’s story, while Darkest before Dawn and Swimming with Sharks are going to be linked under The Annals of the Akatsuki.

(This GIF Is not mine! It’s by @mimixd2607 - at least if the notes are to be trusted - and I found it by searching for Akatsuki GIFs on tumblr. Please let me know if you’d like me to remove it, @mimixd2607 ?)

I also kind of want to write a story about how Kisame and Zabuza visit Konoha, murder ducklings in tow, and Itachi falls in love with Kisame like a club has hit him between the eyes. Sasuke gives him the side eye saying, “Really? The Monster of Hidden Mist. Really?” while Itachi blushes furiously and hides behind Kurenai-sensei because he cannot handle this, he just can’t.

In the meantime, Kakashi and Zabuza are bonding about the stupid shit their students have pulled, dragging out older and older stories in an effort to outdo each other, while Haku and Naruto eyeroll in the background.

I have no name for this yet, but I welcome any suggestions that fit the alliterative theme.

I also want to write the stories of the various members of the Hōzuki Clan, and title it Myths of the Mist.

I now have six stories to edit into a publishable state, and tomorrow has got to be an editing day.

The thing is that I’ve been telling myself that for the last two days and I got sucked into the Akatsuki instead. I already have some thoughts about Sasori and Deidara... I definitely don’t need more plot bunnies but this AU keeps spawning them. Help!

[phlebasphoenician]

Thanks for tagging me @silverutahraptor !

I have a lot of WIPs so I’m only listing the ones where I’ve actually plotted out the whole thing from start to end - not the ones which have no endings, are concepts only, or simply half baked ideas.

They’re listed either as part of my main series or by pairing.

Courting Culture Confusion

Untitled Setsuna and Ichika romance

Making a Move - Umino Kohari and Ikkaku flee Kiri for Konoha story

Making a Move (in the Opposite Direction) - Kisame and Itachi romance

Untitled Akatsuki idiocy in omake style

Slither and Stalk - Sakumo, Chiasa, and Orochimaru

Orienting an Orbit, The Akatsuki Annals - Obito

Untitled Hidan was a Russian Admiral story - Crossover with Highlander, utter crack, Hidan/Kakuzu

Asking for Advice - Asuma's Love Story

Gai is the Godaime - Gen, Comedy

Rock the Revolution - Rock Lee, Tenten, Itachi, and the Hyūga

Naruto Nonsense - Naruto and Sasuke

Healing Hands - Sakura, Team 7 and Ino

Buntan’s Baby Brother - Kurosuki Raiga and his kids

Playing with Pups - Shizuma realises that strength isn’t everything

Mei’s Marriage - The courtship of Terumī Mei

Leather Legwarmers - The story of Zabuza’s terrible fashion choices and how they terrify everyone

Konohans Crash - Modern Konoha

Other Naruto Stories

Madarama/Tobirama

1920s Mob Uchiha - Series based on the art of @good-grievance

Single mother Tobirama - based on this idea by Madlen_Fade and borrowed with permission, four different versions plotted, running the gamut from angst to crack romantic comedy, and every one with a different pairing!!!

Untitled Madara dies from hanahaki story - based on the art of @good-grievance​

Tobirama/Izuna

Death is Not the End - Tobirama and Izuna novel, first part on AO3, is complete until I add everything else...

Seducing Tobirama - Series based on the art of @junsui4089

Untitled Tobirama is the Prettiest Princess - Tobirama/Izuna Modern AU with fashion porn and shy transwoman Kurohime

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Tobirama

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Izuna

Untitled Pacific Rim fusion - Pilot!Izuna/Engineer!Tobirama

Untitled Edo Tensi Izuna derails the Fourth Shinobi War - crack. SO MUCH CRACK.

Untitled Seelie Winter vs Summer Court story - Izuna is the King of Summer in love with the General of the Winter Court - Tobirama

Untitled djinn story - Izuna is a djinn, Tobirama is the king’s son who owns the bottle

Untitled Izuna is a pipe fox story - Tobirama is his sorcerer

Hashirama/Madara

Untitled Uchiha are gods, modern AU meet cute - Hashirama/Madara, Tobirama/Izuna

Untitled Madara is a Disney princess - 500 Kingdoms fusion

Untitled Hashirama is a Disney Princess - Based on Enchanted

Hashirama/Tobirama

Growing Together - ‘there was only one bed’ trope fic, for @narutorarepairweek​

Kisame-centric

Untitled NSFW Kisame/Itachi/Samehada romance - Itachi is courted by both Kisame and Samehada

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada fusion fight - short, Gen or established Kisame/Itachi

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Alpha - Long, Kisame/Zabuza romance

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Omega - Long, Kisame/Mei romance

Untitled Itachi fucks his way through the Akatsuki modern AU - Kisame/Itachi romance, SUPER LONG, the Akatsuki are a D&D group, Naruto and Sasuke are their dungeon masters, it’s bananas

Untitled Soulmate story - Uchiha can see the red treads that tie souls together. Kisame just wants to know why this Uchiha keeps showing up and trying to talk to him.

Untitled Kisame/Samehada/Bee PWP - smutty sequel to Sharks Hug With Their Mouths

Untitled Kisame/Itachi story - Itachi is a geisha about to have his mizuage. Kisame is the shinobi who bought him.

Other Pairings

Blondes Have More Fun - Deidara/Akatsuki, PWP, crack

Gen

Izuna is the heir - Gen, long and utterly violent mix of angst and crack

Danzo Murders Kagami, short, only two scenes, really dark

Untitled Zetsu Becomes a Real Boy - Zetsu is redeemed angst fest

Untitled Modern High School AU - Gen, probably about 20K, pretty wholesome story about growing up

Suiton Summer - Mangetsu and Suigetsu kid fic

The Feeling of Falling - Kakashi is a self-insert into Naruto, Kakashi-centric Naruto/Inception crossover

This is too many WIPs to tag people so I’m simply inviting anyone who wants to play!

WIP Title Tag

WIP Title Tag

Thank you for tagging me @mrssakurahatake

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I uh… I don’t have a wip folder per se. haha. But these are what I think are WIP’s:

Game of the Gods’ Arc 2 OC/Shisui

Breathe Drabble Series OC/Hana Inuzuka

Shiita Shibari Shisui/Itachi

ShiSaku Pining Fic Sakura/Shisui

ItaKarin Fic for Cherry Itachi/Karin

Just One Night Full of Sin Sakura/Shisui

The Samurai’s Blossom Sakura/Shisui

Missing Shisui Shisui/Itachi

July Fic for the Porcelain House Gen/Ino, Kaka/Saku, Hana/Ten

River Styx Sakura/Itachi

Coffee Shop Kakashi/Iruka

Don’t Drink and Kunai Genma/Shizune

Into the Shadows Itachi/Shisui

Excess ItaSaku Lemony Drabbles Sakura/Itachi

The Lost Hatake OC&Kakashi

The Shifting Sands of Time Kakashi/Sakura

Attempting Kidnapping Passage Uzumaki Story OC Story

Uzumaki Story OC

I uh… I really like OC stories; can you tell? lol Too bad only a few people read them. They’re my favorite to write.

I don’t think I’ll tag 18 people. 😅 That’s a lot. So will 5 do?

@anannua, @strangebeautiful, @moonlady9, @something-like-air, @sariasprincy, @itachi-uchiha-deserved-better

[phlebasphoenician]

Challenge: share the last 7 sentences you wrote and then tag 7 ppl

Tagged by @greyduckgreygoose , and thanks for tagging me!

The last seven sentences I wrote have already been posted (you can find the story here on AO3) so I decided to share the last seven sentences I wrote that haven't been published yet.

Jiraiya heaves a huge, dramatic, sigh. "Well, she won't marry him, so he keeps showing up at my place all mournful and shit. And then I have to drink him under the table just so he'll shut up about her long flowing locks, and her pretty, pretty eyes, and her huge giant -"

Tsunade grabs his arm and throws him into a tree. "SHUT UP. I'll marry Dan when it suits me and not a moment before."

She strides off, confident and strong, Konan at her heels.

Behind them, they can hear Jiraiya groaning. "For fucks sake, princess! I was going to say your ASS!"

Tsunade ignores him majestically, but Konan can see her lips twitching.

A new day is dawning and the future looks bright.

Tagging is tricky since I don’t have many mutuals. Um, I guess I tag: @sqbr​, @femfetale​, @awfulloneliness​, @emilx311​, @nallaz​, @itachiscatears, @kitsunekage88

[phlebasphoenician]

wip title tag game

Tagged by @greyduckgreygoose​ . Thanks for tagging me!

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

It’s good timing actually because I wrote all of my WIPs down in an effort to track them all down and collate them into a manageable list so I know what I’ve got my my plate..

This is a lot of WIPs so beware, you may get anything from something that is almost ready to publish, or badly edited not!fic, to a random concept.

If it’s in italics, it’s plotted. If it’s in bold, then it’s written and just needs a final edit. If it’s neither, it’s a concept or a bunch of plot points.

Courting Culture Confusion

Tajima’s Tykes - Madara and Izuna kid fic Untitled Setsuna and Ichika romance Home is in the Heart (of the Ocean), Wading in Water - Niko Sleep in Seals, Wading in Water - Hazama To Kindle Knowledge, Know Your Karma - Kagami, part 1 Engaging with the Enemy, Honour Your Heritage - Kitiara Killing for a Kingdom, Know Your Karma - Kagami, part 2 Rivals Reconciled - Gengetsu and Mu To Leave a Legacy - Kikiyo's line, Mamiko and Makiko Fire Flowers - Akahana and Sara Flying Free - Haruto Unruly Uncles, Honour Your Heritage - Kana's Story To Serve and Sharpen - Yuma Darkest Before Dawn, The Akatsuki Annals - Nagato Swimming with Sharks, The Akatsuki Annals - Kisame Untitled Kisame and Itachi romance Untitled Sasori, maker of prosthetics, story Untitled Deidara mines the entire coast of Shikoku story Untitled Akatsuki idiocy in omake style Slither and Stalk - Sakumo, Chiasa, and Orochimaru Orienting an Orbit, The Akatsuki Annals - Obito Asking for Advice - Asuma's Love Story Rock the Revolution - Rock Lee, Tenten, Itachi, and the Hyūga Naruto Nonsense - Naruto and Sasuke Healing Hands - Sakura, Team 7 and Ino To Live a Life of Love - Tobirama and Madara Konohans Crash - Modern Konoha

Other Naruto Stories

Fiber Craft - Madara & Tobirama Knitting AU Silence is Golden - Rough Trade Death is Not the End - Tobirama and Izuna novel Madara and Tobirama absurdist teen soulmate story for MadaTobi in July

Les Misérables

Rapunzel Enrolas 27 Dresses AU

tagging: @awfulloneliness, @sqbr, @itachiscatears, hope you guys don’t mind!

[phlebaswrites]

My WIPs

I have completely lost track of this so I’m going to write it all out so that I actually remember what the heck I’m doing.

If it’s in italics, it’s plotted. If it’s in bold, then it’s written and just needs a final edit.

Once it’s posted I’ll convert it to strikethrough or just delete it form the list.

Courting Culture Confusion

Tajima’s Tykes - Madara and Izuna kid fic

Setsuna’s Sun - Setsuna and Ichika romance

Home is in the Heart (of the Ocean), Wading in Water - Niko

Sleep in Seals, Wading in Water - Hazama

To Kindle Knowledge, Know Your Karma - Kagami’s story, part 1

Engaging with the Enemy, Honour Your Heritage - Kitiara

Killing for a Kingdom, Know Your Karma - Kagami’s story, part 2

Rivals Reconciled - Gengetsu and Mu

To Leave a Legacy - Kikiyo's line, Mamiko and Makiko

Fire Flowers - Akahana and Sara

Flying Free - Haruto

Unruly Uncles, Honour Your Heritage - Kana's Story

To Serve and Sharpen - Yuma

Darkest Before Dawn, The Akatsuki Annals - Nagato

Making a Move - Umino Kohari and Ikkaku flee Kiri for Konoha story

Swimming with Sharks, The Akatsuki Annals - Kisame (for Kisame week in August)

Making a Move (in the Opposite Direction) - Kisame and Itachi romance

Untitled Sasori, maker of prosthetics, story, The Akatsuki Annals

Untitled Deidara mines the entire coast of Shikoku story, The Akatsuki Annals

Untitled Akatsuki idiocy in omake style

Slither and Stalk - Sakumo, Chiasa, and Orochimaru

Orienting an Orbit, The Akatsuki Annals - Obito

Untitled Hidan was a Russian Admiral story - Crossover with Highlander, utter crack, Hidan/Kakuzu

Untitled Boxer Rebellion story

Untitled Zabuza meets Sun Yat-Sen story

Asking for Advice - Asuma's Love Story

Gai is the Godaime - Gen, Comedy

Rock the Revolution - Rock Lee, Tenten, Itachi, and the Hyūga

Naruto Nonsense - Naruto and Sasuke

Healing Hands - Sakura, Team 7 and Ino

Buntan’s Baby Brother - Kurosuki Raiga and his kids

Playing with Pups - Shizuma realises that strength isn’t everything

Mei’s Marriage - The courtship of Terumī Mei

Leather Legwarmers - The story of Zabuza’s terrible fashion choices and how they terrify everyone

Suigetsu Sees Sai (Really Sees Him) - Their paths cross, but only one of them remembers

Fabulous Females - all Female Rokudaime Kage Team in the Second World War

To Live a Life of Love - Tobirama and Madara’s Death

Mourning Mito

Konohans Crash - Modern Konoha

Other Naruto Stories

Madarama/Tobirama

Knit Wars - Madara & Tobirama Knitting AU

Madara and Tobirama absurdist teen soulmate story for MadaTobi in July

1920s Mob Uchiha - Series based on the art of @good-grievance​

Single mother Tobirama - based on this idea by Madlen_Fade and borrowed with permission, four different versions plotted, running the gamut from angst to crack romantic comedy, and every one with a different pairing!!!

Untitled Madara dies from hanahaki story - based on the art of @good-grievance​

Dig Two Graves - cannon adjacent missing scene

Tobirama/Izuna

Silence is Golden - Rough Trade

Death is Not the End - Tobirama and Izuna novel, first part on AO3, is complete until I add everything else...

Seducing Tobirama - Series based on the art of @junsui4089​

Untitled Tobirama is the Prettiest Princess - Tobirama/Izuna Modern AU with fashion porn and shy transwoman Kurohime

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Tobirama

Untitled Tobirama/Izuna enemies to lovers amnesiac speedrun - amnesiac!Izuna

Untitled Pacific Rim fusion - Pilot!Izuna/Engineer!Tobirama

The Past Cannot Be Cured - Edo Tensi Izuna derails the Fourth Shinobi War. Crack. SO MUCH CRACK.

Untitled Seelie Winter vs Summer Court story - Izuna is the King of Summer in love with the General of the Winter Court - Tobirama

Untitled djinn story - Izuna is a djinn, Tobirama is the king’s son who owns the bottle

Untitled Izuna is a pipe fox story - Tobirama is his sorcerer

Love’s Jewelled Screen - Izuna wears a kimono. Tobirama likes it.

Hold Your Children Precious - In a world where the Senju and Uchiha don't hunt children, the Uchiha win. Tobirama learns what it means to be married for peace.

The Human Mind - Izuna just won’t stop talking. Even on the battlefield.

A Confusion of Weasels - Izuna’s summons are weasels. Omegaverse.

Being a Woman - Rule 63 Izuna in the Onsen

A World Without You - fusion with the Matrix

The Entire Universe Conspired - Soulmate AU with body swap

Hashirama/Madara

When Fire and Lightning Strike - The Uchiha are gods, modern AU meet cute, Hashirama/Madara, Tobirama/Izuna

Untitled Madara is a Disney princess - 500 Kingdoms fusion

Untitled Hashirama is a Disney Princess - Based on Enchanted

Untitled Romeo and Juliet quote parody - utter crack

Untitled Romeo and Juliet cannon era crack style romantic comedy

Untitled Romeo and Juliet modern AU - Hashirama and Madara are actors playing Romeo and Juliet

Rite of Passage - In which the only way to become a ‘true Senju’ is to eat Uchiha. Not dark, crack comedy

Untitled Edo Tensi Fourth War - Hashirama accepts Madara’s invitation to dance

Hashirama/Tobirama

Growing Together - ‘there was only one bed’ trope fic, for @narutorarepairweek​

In All the World - The secret history of the founders, the one no one knows except for them

Founders Polycules

Untitled Necromancer Tobirama is working on his PhD story - crack, have concept plus the first half of the plot, no idea of the ending

Untitled Girl Genius fusion - Necromancer Tobirama, Mechanicsburg sparks Madara and Izuna (they’re Hetrodyne equivalents)

Strange Bewilderment - Hashirama/Madara/Izuna/Tobirama competitive porn story, based on the art of @junsui4089​

Untitled sequel to Mulan - Tobirama/Madara/Izuna

Untitled sequel to Snow White - Hashirama/Madara, Izuna/Tobirama, Hashirama/Madara/Izuna/Tobirama

Suffered from the Night - Gothic Horror in which the Uchiha are vampires and the Senju are monster hunters

Inhabiting Two Bodies - Soulmate AU with body swap, Hashirama/Madara/Mito

Untitled Madara/Tobirama/Izuna not really unrequited love - three versions, all of which are based on this amazing comic by @kurakura0-0​

Untitled series - four unrelated stories, all of them based on the music video Dude (Looks Like A Lady) by Aerosmith. Each one featuring a different founder.

Kisame/?

Sharks Hug with their Mouths - NSFW Kisame & Samehada/Killer Bee crack comedy

Blood in the Water - NSFW Kisame/Itachi/Samehada romance  Itachi is courted by both Kisame and Samehada

A Sword Is Tempted - NSFW Kisame/Samehada/Kubikiribōchō comedy. Swords in love. Kisame is only a bystander, he swears.

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada fusion fight - short, Gen or established Kisame/Itachi  EDIT: Merged with Blood in the Water

By Kindness and Moderation - A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Alpha - Long, Kisame/Zabuza romance EDIT: turned out to be surprisingly short!

Untitled A/B/O Kisame & Samehada hit on an Omega - Long, Kisame/Mei romance

Untitled Itachi fucks his way through the Akatsuki modern AU - Kisame/Itachi romance, SUPER LONG, the Akatsuki are a D&D group, Naruto and Sasuke are their dungeon masters, it’s BANANAS

Untitled Soulmate story - Uchiha can see the red treads that tie should together. Kisame just wants to know why this Uchiha keeps showing up and trying to talk to him.

The Price We Pay - Kisame/Itachi, short no happy ending

Untitled Kisame/Samehada/Bee PWP - smutty sequel to Sharks Hug With Their Mouths

Untitled Kisame/Itachi story - Itachi is a geisha about to have his mizuage. Kisame is the shinobi who bought him.

Shark Crossing - Akatsuki at the beach

Australians are Everywhere - Hidan/Kisame omegaverse. A modern AU in which the Akatsuki are members of the JSDF

Budgie Smugglers - Itachi/Kisame porn in the onsen

Untitled Kisame/Itachi/Shisui modern office AU - Shisui and Itachi set out to seduce the new guy

Other Pairings

Love Wears a Mark - Danzo Murders Kagami, short, only two scenes, really dark

Blondes Like it Hot - Deidara/Akatsuki, PWP, crack

Untitled Zabuza/Kisame/Mei home repair modern AU

Untitled Ōtsutsuki incest story - Indra and Ashura are brothers and best friends.

Untitled Team Ro polycule - All of Team Ro is in love with Iruka, but they don’t know about each other. Their only guide on how to woo him is Icha Icha. Oh no.

Untitled Arabian Night AU - Sakura/Hinata, Naruto/Sasuke. Hinata is the queen in an arranged married to Naruto, but he doesn't love her. Her only solace is her handmaiden, Sakura.

Untitled Deidara/Sasori - Everyone thinks Deidara uses ‘danna’ sarcastically, and that’s just the way he likes it. Two versions, one happy and one sad

Just a Job - Romantic comedy about running the mission desk

All I Ever Dreamed - Sai/Naruto/Sasuke smut

Uchiha Nyan - The Uchiha are cats. Chapters 1 and 2 are written

Gen

Izuna is the heir - Gen, long and utterly violent mix of angst and crack

Things that Zetsu Gave and Gained - Zetsu redemption angst fest

Senju Sauropods - Dino!Hashirama & Comet!Madara, utter crack

Untitled Modern High School AU - Gen, probably about 20K, pretty wholesome story about growing up, now with a Hashirama/Madara cat cafe sequel, a Mito/Tōka/Naori Much Ado About Nothing sequel, and a Tobirama/Izuna sequel

On the Good Ship Icebergs Kan Eat (my) Ass - All the founders are sharks, utter crack

Waddle Giggle Gargle Paddle Poodle! - crack, Jurassic Park fusion

Suiton Summer - Mangetsu and Suigetsu kid fic

The Feeling of Falling - Kakashi is a self-insert into Naruto, Kakashi-centric Naruto/Inception crossover

You Can't Fight in Here (this is the sunroom) - Utterly Gen. My first ‘x Reader’ story.

Untitled Tajima and Mountains - Tajima named his kids after mountains. This is why.

Minecraft Madness - Obito and Zabuza are on the same Minecraft Server. It doesn’t go well.

The Closing of Our Shared Narrative - Star Wars AU. Script Style. SO MUCH CRACK.

Untitled Akatsuki run a restaurant Modern AU

Untitled cannon era story in which the Hatake have nine lives - an unholy mix of angst and crack

The Past Is a Foreign Country (they do things differently there) - metatextual commentary on cannon, similar to In All the World

Created Monsters - Fusion with Pacific Rim, self insert.

Love and Murder - Stab happy Izuna.

The Ones Who Walk Away from the Ōtsutsuki - Ashura and Indra leave

Looking in the Same Direction - Kisame has a secret admirer. The only question is... who?

(Im)pure Chaos - based on the art of @kurakura0-0 💚

Les Misérables

Rapunzel Enrolas

27 Dresses AU

Other

All the Tropes in Asian Drama story

And... I think that’s everything.

It’s more than I thought, but less than I was dreading.

That’s good. I think.