#That's the mood here but here's hoping next chapter flows a bit better!

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 2

Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hello there, we meet again it seems? B)

here is part two for Shameless. i tried my best proofreading it and editing some bits, but there is a high probability that there's some bits i missed. i did get distracted changing some things.

i really like this chapter, i feel like it starts to give you an idea of the reader's feelings towards snape. >B)

also, i won't lie, Camila Cabello's Shameless did inspire this fic, and it especially fits the moment between the reader and snape here.. hehe

hope you enjoy, please let me know! <3

anywho...

off we gooo!

Your first class had gone smoothly, apart from a little mishap where a student had cast Incendio instead of Lumos Solem. You'd quickly extinguished the fire with a quick Aguamenti, much to the amusement of your class. As of right now, you were trying to clean the soot and ash off of the table with a wet cloth, your fingers starting to ache and burn from the harsh grasp you had. Sighing, you should have seen this coming... a mistake was a given for a class of second-years. It didn't surprise you that the student at fault was none other than Neville Longbottom.

You'd kept him after class, not to scold him, but just to make sure he was alright. The boy did give himself a fright.

"I-I'm really sorry, Professor," Neville sighed, his eyes glued to the floor as he stood in front of you with a sad expression. "I just got my spells mixed up." He explained weakly, braving a glance at you.

"It's alright, Mr Longbottom, but you do need to be a little careful next time." You said, throwing a kind smile his way. He nodded frantically and his eyes were instantly locked on the floor again. You were sure he was bracing himself for a telling off. "I'd rather not have my classroom burn down on the first day, you know." You joked, trying to lighten the mood. You knew Neville didn't do it on purpose, he had a good heart and you'd noticed in class that he was rather clever at Herbology. So you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The boy smiled weakly at you, nodding once more. "I will, Professor." He said, swallowing anxiously. You gestured to the door, silently dismissing him. Neville quickly scurried out of the door, hurrying himself to his next lesson.

As he left, a rather big and exasperated sigh fell from your lips. What else could go wrong? You glanced around, your nose crinkling up in slight annoyance. The mess that was left afterwards was a little... headache inducing. Piles of mud sat on top of the table and some of it had found it's way onto the ground. Apparently, it had slipped your mind that teaching twelve-year-olds with messy materials would equal... well, a bloody big mess. Perhaps you should have thought that through a little better.

"Scourgify." You said, waving your wand at the large, wooden table that sat in the middle of the greenhouse. The specks and mounds of mud suddenly dissipated from the table, and you were suddenly very thankful for magic. A content smile came to rest on your face as you turned around to walk towards your row of potted plants, your eyes landing on a rather beautiful Aconite, also known as Wolfsbane or Monkshood. Unlike the other free-flowing plants, you'd placed it inside a glass case due to it's dangerous toxicity. You did trust your students, but you preferred not to take the risk.

"Ah, Professor L/N, just who I was looking for!" Came an enthusiastic voice to the left of you. You twirled around, frowning as you did not recognise their voice. As your eyes landed on their tall, strawberry-blonde haired form, you clocked that it was none other than Gilderoy Lockhart. Gods, you weren't sure whether you had the patience to deal with this man right now. You'd actually rather deal with another bout of Snape right now, despite your bicker an hour earlier.

"Lockhart," You greeted softly, offering him a polite smile. You clasped your hands together in front of you, staying beside your plants. "What can I do for you?" You asked, hoping it was some sort of small favour.

"Merlin, you're just as beautiful as that utterly gorgeous Aconite beside you," Lockhart commented with a wink, his piercing blue eyes bouncing between your form and the fauna to your right. You groaned to yourself quietly. Lord, if he's just come here to get in your drawers, he'd better just walk out the door right now.

"Back to the point, Lockhart?" You sighed, massaging your temples as you felt a headache coming on.

"Oh, right, well.. what does one do when... one releases pixies in a classroom?" He asked cryptically, and you could only frown at him in utter confusion. Lockhart smiled innocently at you, and you could only arch a brow at him, waiting for more clues to what the hell he was getting at.

"Pixies...? What?" You repeated, still clueless. What the hell has this man done? And why is he getting you involved? It's your first bloody day back here! You just wanted a quiet first day... Is that too much to ask for?

"Would you please accompany me back to my classroom, Professor L/N?" Lockhart pleaded, running a hand through his perfectly-style locks. You tutted softly and rolled your eyes, gesturing for him to walk on. "It's easier if you see for yourself." He added and cleared his throat.

You followed the man to his classroom, the wind gently blowing through your leafy-brown and green robes. "What have you done, Lockhart?" You questioned him curiously as the two of you walked into the castle, rushing up the moving staircases as the clacks of your heels echoed out into the empty stone halls.

Lockhart chuckled awkwardly, keeping the grin on his face to soothe your worrisome one. You sighed quietly, preparing yourself for the worst as you rounded the corner to the door of his classroom.

With wide eyes of horror, you opened the door to the screams of students and the high-pitched cheers of Cornish Pixies. The hanging skeleton of a dragon had fallen to the ground, broken bone fragments scattered everywhere.

"Oh my-" You gasped, ducking as groups of pixies flew towards you. The students scurried like terrified mice around the room, a futile attempt to run and hide from the little purple terrors. "Immobulus!" You shouted, aiming your wand at the gaggle of fiendish pixies. Immediately they slowed down, almost like they were in slow motion. The screams from the students quietened down as they looked up, watching you quickly pushing the pixies back into their cage with your wand.

"Lockhart, you have some serious explaining to do!" You exclaimed and turned around, expecting to see the famous author, however, he was nowhere to be seen. An exasperated groan leaves your lips.

"Erm, Professor L/N, up here..." Came a familiar voice from above you. As you looked up to the source of the voice, you gasped in shock. Neville Longbottom was hanging from the chandelier by the hood of his cloak. Instantly, you flicked your wand at him, slowly levitating him to the ground.

"Not having a good day, are you, Neville?" You sighed, placing a hand against your cheek as you glanced around the room at the chaos. Books and parchment lay destroyed on the ground and desks, ink pots and quills were scattered amongst the war zone too. As you looked back to Neville, he shook his head and leaned against the table behind him, steadying himself. "Neither am I." You added quietly, mainly to yourself.

"Professor, what do we do now?" Another student asked. Looking to your right, it was none other than Harry Potter. You exhaled softly, feeling the frustration beginning to build up. Why was this happening to you? Did someone hex you? Gods.

You were clueless for a moment, you'd no idea what they'd been taught in Defense Against the Dark Arts, let alone what you should tell them to do. So you improvised. "For now, just open your books and revise some of the material that you learnt last year, please." You said tiredly, gesturing to the books that had been knocked on the floor during the chaos. "I'm sure Professor Lockhart will be back soon." You clenched your jaw the sound of his name - how could he be so careless? You were not a janitor, so why were you cleaning up his mess? To be frank, you were more angry at him for putting the students in a potentially dangerous scenario - Longbottom was hanging from the chandelier for crying out loud!

You couldn't leave the students unattended so you walked to Lockhart's desk and sat against it, your mind racing with insults to hurl at the author when he finally returned. The students all quickly rushed around, picking up their belongings and sitting themselves down at their desks.

"Professor?" A student asked, quirking your attention. You looked up and smiled weakly at them, prompting their question. The boy had bright blonde hair, slicked back, and he donned a cunning smirk on his face. Draco Malfoy, of course. "Do you know anything about the Dark Arts?" Draco asked, almost mockingly. The boys surrounding him laughed. You had to force yourself not to roll your eyes.

"Perhaps, Mr Malfoy." You replied nonchalantly. Honestly, you weren't very knowledgeable on the subject, it wasn't one of your strong-suits back in school. Of course, you knew bits and bobs of it, but you didn't believe you were fit to teach it.

"Perhaps, you can teach us a spell?" Draco asked with sly eyes, and you shook your head at him, prompting a disappointed groan from the said student. He was brave to be mocking a professor, you thought. Though, you weren't all too surprised, his last name was Malfoy after all.

"No, certainly not. Now, get on with your reading, please." You said sternly, almost at your wit's end. "And five points from Slytherin for being a smart-arse." You added, earning a scoff from the boy.

In all honesty, this is not how you expected your first day back at Hogwarts to go. You prepared yourself for a peaceful day - maybe with a few mishaps from students, but that was it. You did not expect to be pulled from a free period to deal with some rambunctious bloody pixies, released by a professor no less!

Currently, you were walking with McGonagall through the corridors, escorting the hoards of students back to their dorms after dinner in the Great Hall. The torches lit the way, casting a pretty amber hue against the bland stone walls. The air was a bit chilly, and so you wrapped your leafy-brown cloak around you tighter as the wind bit at your skin.

 "How was your first day, my dear?" McGonagall asked you, glancing at you from the side as the pair of you walked behind the gaggle of students.

A deep sigh left your lips, inducing an amused chuckle from the older witch. "Oh, Minerva, you have no idea." You groaned and let your fingers grasp the bridge of your nose momentarily, a sign of stress.

"That bad?" She laughed softly, arching a brow at you. You could only give her a disbelieving look.

"The first class of the day went well, until Longbottom set my table alight. Then, Lockhart decides to drag me into his mess!" You scoffed, keeping your voice quiet. Unfortunately for you, Lockhart had been avoiding you since the whole ordeal, so you hadn't had a chance to give him a piece of your mind. "I could've just about killed the man." Clenching your jaw in frustration, you suddenly hear a kerfuffle of gasps and a growing noise of mutterings coming from the group of students ahead as they all immediately came to a halt.

"I'll kill you!" A loud, gruffly voiced shouted from ahead. Gods, what now? You weren't always this wound up, but today had really tested you.

"What's going on?" McGonagall questioned worriedly as she began to swiftly move through the students. You followed suit, a perplexed frown gracing your face. As the two of you rounded the corner, your eyes widened in horror.

A message had been scrawled out on the wall in what looked to be blood. It read: The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, enemies of the heir... beware. As you glanced to the left, you noticed Filch's cat, Mrs Norris, was hanging from the metal torch-holder, blood dripping from her head. Your hand flew to your mouth.

"Bloody hell..." You muttered, stepping forwards to look closer at the haunting image.

Filch had a grip on Harry Potter's cloak, dragging him up to his face.

"Argus!" Dumbledore called from behind you, with Snape and Lockhart in tow. You stood back, allowing Dumbledore to step forwards towards the scene. As your eyes landed on Lockhart, his eyes met yours and they instantly widened. You glared at him and slipped past McGonagall and Dumbledore, your feet absentmindedly carrying you in his direction. Deep down you knew this wasn't the right time, but you couldn't hold back, he'd really angered you earlier. You reached out your hand and grabbed Lockhart's arm, dragging him away from the crowds of students and teachers.

With a muffled thud, Lockhart's back was against the wall. "If you ever pull that shit again, Lockhart, I will not hesitate to have you removed from this school. What were you thinking-"

 Before you could continue scolding the man, a firm hand grabbed your arm and pulled you away from Lockhart. You looked up to find a set of piercing, cold dark eyes staring down at you. Snape. You felt your heart leap up into your throat and your cheeks instantly burned hot as he kept his hand on your arm. The scent of smoke, books and a hint of sweet wine filled your nostrils as he moved closer to you, your bodies almost touching at this point. His scent was utterly intoxicating to you, and that scared you slightly.

"Have you no brain nor sense of timing, Professor L/N?" Snape scowled at you and you sunk down slightly at the threatening tone in his voice. You looked away from him in a rather poor show of defiance. He kept his voice quiet. "I don't believe this is quite the right time to be scolding your colleague." The Potions Master said sternly, nodding his head in the direction of the bloody message. You looked back at Snape, pushing your jaw out in frustration. You were silently wishing that this wasn't the way that the two of you happened to be in such close proximity.

Ripping your arm from his grasp, your hand flew up to gently rub where he had gripped you so harshly. You glanced back at Snape, who now looked furious at you. Suddenly, it felt like he'd stolen the air from your lungs - you weren't sure whether that was because of your silly little crush, or his intense, fiery stare. Perhaps both. He was right, you should have kept your cool with Lockhart, but today had really pushed you to your limits.

"But Severus-" You protested, your anger bubbling as Snape silenced you with his icy words.

"I am not one to defend Lockhart, however, there is a serious situation at hand." Snape added quietly, though his cold tone was still there. There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. "Not that it's my place, Professor L/N, but I would have thought as a Hufflepuff, you'd be abstaining from any sort of conflict, not... instigating it." He said, narrowing his hauntingly dark eyes at you.

"When it comes to stupid, incompetent mistakes that can endanger our students, I won't hesitate to say my part, Snape." You said frustratedly, leaning forwards as if to challenge him.

"Do not be foolish, Professor L/N," He stepped forwards, articulating each letter he spoke intimidatingly. You swallowed and flinched slightly at his sudden movement. As brave and courageous you painted yourself, he still did terrify you. Snape's glare deepened and he retracted himself slightly, letting his eyes flick between the pair of yours. "It seems you have not changed since your time here at Hogwarts. You are still that silly girl who did not think before she spoke."

Snape's words made you enraged. Your fists balled at the side of you once again, almost shaking. The muscles in your body tensed and went rigid from the rush of sudden anger that was coursing through you. Gods, how could someone make you feel such different emotions?

You scoffed and pushed past him, shoving his broad shoulder out of the way of you. As for now, you couldn't look at him, nor bear to be near him. You were worried you'd hex the man, or at least say something you'd regret. Despite your burning desire to hurt him back, you pushed the thought aside. You were the bigger person, and you would not stoop to his level. Unless it truly came to it, you suppose.

You stalked back to the other professors with Snape reluctantly trailing behind you. You stilled yourself beside McGonagall once more and she offered you a confused look, glancing between you and Snape as he came to stand near the wall, away from you.

You shook your head at her softly and shut your eyes for a brief moment, attempting to calm yourself down. This was not how you expected to start your second year of teaching at Hogwarts, conflicted feelings for your colleague, and developing a boiling bitterness for another. As the year progresses, perhaps you could fix it. Nothing is lost yet, right?

"She's not dead, Argus. She has been petrified." Dumbledore said in a soft tone, attempting to soothe the caretaker. Filch only stared at his beloved pet, shuffling in his spot, clearly distraught at what he'd come across. He was almost shaking with grief. A small wave of sympathy washed over you as you watched Filch try to compose himself. It couldn't be easy seeing something so dear to you hung in such a... morbid way.

However, that calm feeling was soon lost again as you saw Lockhart stood in front of Mrs Norris, inspecting the body. You quickly averted your gaze before your blood pressure rose uncontrollably and you spotted Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley stood in a row, looking rather worried. Your brows knitted together in confusion.

"Ah, thought so." Lockhart said confidently, glancing back at Dumbledore. You fought the urge to scoff at Lockhart's comment by looking to the right and biting your bottom lip. Gods, this man was almost as infuriating as Snape this morning. "So unlucky I wasn't there. I know exactly the countercurse that could've spared her." Lockhart added, staring at Dumbledore uneasily. This time you couldn't help but roll your eyes at him as you folded your arms against your chest.

"But how she's been petrified I cannot say." Dumbledore added, ignoring Lockhart's useless comments, his wise eyes studying the scene at hand.

"Ask him," Filch nodded towards Potter, his voice shaky. You frowned again, glancing at the boy. Surely not? "It's him that's done it." The greasy caretaker added with a look of despair and anger on his face. "You saw what he wrote on the wall."

Harry let out a curt sigh before turning towards Dumbledore. "It's not true, sir. I swear." He said. "I never touched Mrs Norris." Harry gestured towards Filch's cat, who was still unfortunately hanging by her tail on the metal arm of the torchlight.

"Rubbish!" Filch hissed, still staring angrily at the boy.

"If I might, Headmaster?" Snape suddenly interjected, his deep voice softer than you'd heard it before. Your head instantly snapped up to look at him, shocked to hear such a tone of voice on a cruel man like him. "Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?" The Potions Master offered, seemingly wanting to deescalate the whole situation. Since when is he considerate? you wondered.

"However," Snape added, his voice returning to it's usual cold tone. There it is, you thought, fighting the itching urge to roll your eyes. "The circumstances are suspicious." Snape said, walking slowly towards the three students, almost intimidatingly. "I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner." He narrowed his eyes at the three of them, stopping just short of a metre away. He seems to have a habit of doing that.

"I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus," Lockhart called out, making Snape turn around to face him with a face like thunder. You loathed how you couldn't help but stare at him. A whirling storm of resentment and admiration gathered in your stomach as you gazed at him. Undoubtedly, he looked ethereal underneath the amber-coloured lighting in this hallway, despite the unhappy and disdainful look on his face.

Fuck. You hated it.

The flames illuminated his prominent features almost too perfectly. His large, aquiline nose and high cheekbones would ultimately be the death of you.

"You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail." Lockhart explained, glancing between Snape - who looked utterly confused - and Harry himself. Lockhart's voice to you was like someone scratching nails on a chalk board. Every time he spoke, the hairs on your body would stand on end - and not in a good way.

You despised the fact that these two men brought out such a hateful side of you so easily.

"That's why Ron and I went looking for him, professor," Hermione spoke up, looking towards Harry. "We'd just found him when he said..." Hermione trailed off, staring at Harry. Snape turned back to face the three students, his eyes narrowing in suspicion once again.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape prompted.

"When I said I wasn't hungry." Harry interjected, looking back up at Snape. Ron nodded quickly in a nervous manner, glancing between the Potions Master and his friend Harry. "We were heading back to the common room when we found Mrs Norris." The boy explained. To you, it seemed like a solid explanation, however, Snape didn't seem too convinced as he spun around to look at Dumbledore, waiting for his thoughts on the whole situation.

"Innocent until proven guilty, Severus." Dumbledore stated, looking at Snape through his half-moon glasses. Reluctantly, you looked at Snape as he arched a brow disapprovingly at the Headmaster.

"My cat... has been petrified. I want to see some punishment!" Filch cried out, commanding your attention to him. The man was shaking with rage, and it made you a little uneasy. You glanced back at Snape, your eyes lingering a little too long on him.

"We will be able to cure her, Argus." Dumbledore assured the man, still trying to calm the tense moment. "As I understand it, Professor L/N has a very healthy growth of Mandrake." The Headmaster said, tearing you out of your daydream. Your eyes flicked to Dumbledore as he gestured at your form. Looking to Filch, you offered a warm and sympathetic smile to him, nodding in agreement with Dumbledore. "When matured, a potion will be made which will revive Mrs Norris." He said, turning towards the Potions Master and the three students.

Snape had his eyes glued to you, catching you by surprise. You immediately averted your eyes from his as your cheeks began to burn, betraying you. The overwhelming, icy stare from Snape made your heart pound against your rib cage.

Get a hold of yourself, for Merlin's sake.

Dumbledore's voice cut through the strange tension between you and Snape. The two of you broke eye-contact and looked to the older wizard. "In the meantime, I strongly recommend caution to all." The Headmaster warned, capturing your attention. You nodded at the older man, waiting to see if there was anything else he wanted to say. "Professor McGonagall, would you mind escorting Miss Granger, Mr Potter and Mr Weasley to their respective dormitories, please?"

"Of course. This way." McGonagall walked towards the three students, gesturing them forwards with her hands. You sighed softly and bid Dumbledore a warm goodnight, turning around to walk to your quarters. As you padded away, you turned around gingerly, your inquisitive eyes searching for the broody Potions Master that made your heart beat a little faster in two different ways. Unsurprisingly, he seemed to have already left. A twinge of disappointment twisted in your gut, and you felt conflicted between your emotions. That close - and almost intimate - encounter with him earlier truly made you think about things. You couldn't choose between hating him or liking him. Gods, were you in trouble now.

However, as you rounded the corner, it seemed your luck was playing out. You spotted Lockhart striding ahead of you.

there we are, part two over! whew. i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it, and i hope there weren't too many mistakes lol!

if you want to be added to the taglist below, please let me know in the comments/replies :)

thank you for reading!

part 3

taglist:

@a-laufeyson

[ducktoo]

Syncing Dream [Aespa x M!Reader]

7. Company Dinner

Note: final chapter of arc 1! Enjoy!

Masterlist here

The restaurant buzzed with chatter, laughter echoing through the private room where aespa, their dancers, and the staff gathered for a well-deserved company dinner. The mood was celebratory—relief and excitement still hanging in the air after their stunning performance at MAMA the previous night.

Y/n sat at the end of the long table, feeling a pleasant mix of exhaustion and pride. MAMA had been a whirlwind, and he was still trying to process how everything had gone so smoothly—despite the near disasters backstage. He took a sip of his drink, grateful that the year-end madness had subsided, even if just for tonight.

“You seem lost in thought again,” Winter’s voice pulled him out of his reverie. She was seated beside him, her signature smirk teasing at her lips. “Let me guess, you’re already planning how to avoid next year’s MAMA?”

“First off, I’ll be fired if I do that.” Y/n chuckled, shaking his head. “Second, I’m just still processing how none of you broke anything backstage. I was one misplaced costume away from a heart attack.”

Karina, across from him, gave a small, knowing nod. “Considering the disasters you averted, you did well, Y/n. Much better than I thought you would.”

Giselle leaned in, grinning. “Much better than the time you nearly sent our mics to the wrong stage. Or when you tried to call Karina ‘boss’ and nearly had a meltdown.”

Y/n laughed, a light flush creeping into his cheeks. “Yeah, yeah, I’m still learning. But I think we’ve all grown a bit since then.”

“Well, except Ningning,” Winter added, poking her cheek. “She’s still a menace.”

“Hey! You’re in this too, Minjeong-unnie!” Ningning shot back, pretending to be offended before flashing a mischievous smile. “Menace or not, I know how to make a show work.”

The conversation flowed easily, with everyone reflecting on the hectic moments leading up to MAMA. The dancers shared their own anecdotes from rehearsals, and even the staff couldn’t help but throw in a few teasing jabs at Y/n for his rookie manager mistakes. Despite the jokes, there was a shared warmth and camaraderie—proof of how much they’d been through together.

As the dinner progressed, the topic naturally shifted to dancing, with the dancers discussing favorite moments from past performances. And then, as if sensing an opportunity for fun, Giselle leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Speaking of dancing…” Giselle began, glancing at Y/n. “Back then, we made Y/n danced to Drama. And honestly, he actually killed it”

Y/n froze, his eyes widening in surprise. “Oh sh- not that one, Aeri!”

Winter immediately jumped in, her face lighting up. “Oh,yeaa that one? We should've recorded it instead. Even though he was a trainee ages ago, his skill is still there”

Y/n’s face flushed as the table erupted in excitement laughter. He tried to backtrack, but the girls weren’t letting him off the hook so easily.

Karina’s smirk grew wider as she chimed in. “One time, I walked in on him practicing the chorus of ‘Next Level’ in the practice room late one night. He looked like he was preparing for his own debut.”

The table howled with laughter, and Y/n buried his face in his hands, groaning. “I wasn’t practicing! I was just… stretching and want to burn the midnight oil.”

Ningning shot him a disbelieving look, barely containing her amusement. “Stretching? While doing the entire routine, perfectly in sync?”

Winter was practically in tears at this point, leaning against Y/n as she caught her breath from laughing. “I knew you had it in you. Trainee instincts never die.”

Y/n sighed, knowing there was no escaping this. “Fine, fine. Maybe I was practicing a little. But you guys are pros—I had to at least keep up when I’m watching rehearsals. Plus, you guys made me pumped up.”

Giselle raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “Oh? Does that mean you’ve been secretly hoping to dance on stage with us, idiot?”

The teasing was relentless, but before Y/n could protest again, the table erupted in cheers and calls for him to show his moves.

“No way, Minjeong” he said quickly, waving his hands. “Guys, not happening.”

But the girls weren’t backing down. “Come on, Y/n!” Ningning said, practically bouncing in her seat. “You killed it during our first practice we made you do. Don’t pretend you’re rusty.”

Giselle joined in, pointing towards an open space near the table. “Yeah, no more excuses. Let’s see what our secret dancer has got.”

Y/n groaned as all eyes turned to him. “You guys are going to regret this. Play Next Level and let me ruin your song.”

With a deep breath, he stood up, mentally preparing himself for the impending embarrassment. The girls cleared a small space, eager to see what he’d do.

Y/n took a moment to shake off the nerves, trying to ignore the amused glances from everyone around him. Then, with a smirk, he started moving. The familiar beat of “Next Level” played in his mind as he hit the moves he had been secretly practicing, one after the other.

Surprisingly, the rhythm came back to him effortlessly. His body responded on instinct, the fluidity and sharpness in his movements surprising even him. The table erupted in cheers and laughter, and Y/n, finding his confidence again, threw in a few extra moves to finish with flair.

When he finally stopped, out of breath but grinning, the entire room clapped and cheered, with Giselle whistling loudly.

“That was awesome!” Ningning exclaimed, her eyes wide. “I didn’t know you still had it in you!”

Winter patted him on the back, still laughing. “See? We knew you’d been holding out on us.”

Karina, arms crossed but a smile tugging at her lips, nodded approvingly. “Not bad, Y/n. Guess you’ve still got a few tricks up your sleeve.”

Y/n flopped back into his seat, grabbing his drink. “Alright, that’s it. No more dance requests for the rest of the night. And please don't feed their ego, guys.��� He jokingly whined to the dancers.

“Deal,” Winter said with a wink. “But only because you’ve earned it, idiot.”

The night continued with more stories and laughter, and eventually, the conversation returned to their performance at MAMA, with the dancers sharing their own highlights and the girls recounting the nerves they’d felt before stepping on stage.

As the evening continued, Winter nudged Y/n again, her expression softening as the teasing atmosphere quieted. “Ya, you really held everything together last night,” she said, her voice sincere. “Thanks for being there for us.”

Y/n smiled, feeling the warmth of her words. “It’s my job. But, honestly, I’m proud of all of you. Especially you, crybaby.”

"Tsk. Said the one who messed up the prop." Winter pouted, which made Y/n laughed.

They had each other’s backs, both on and off the stage.

-

The company dinner had wrapped up later than expected, the restaurant buzzing with the sounds of laughter and celebration long into the night. As the group filed out of the private room, it was clear that not everyone had paced themselves as well as Ningning, who was casually chatting with one of the dancers, completely unfazed by the alcohol. In contrast, Karina, Winter, and Giselle weren’t exactly in top form.

Y/n stood at the exit, eyeing the scene before him with a growing sense of dread. He had never been much of a drinker—actually, he hadn’t touched alcohol at all. As a former trainee, it was always drilled into him to stay focused and avoid distractions, so the idea of drinking had never appealed to him. Meanwhile, these girls were in varying stages of tipsy.

Karina, who had remained composed throughout dinner, was now giggling softly to herself, eyes half-lidded as she leaned against the wall.

Giselle was busy trying to say something, but the words kept coming out in broken fragments as she waved her hands around in animated confusion.

Winter was a different story altogether—normally cool and composed, she was now slumped against a chair, occasionally giggling and mumbling random things about the universe and her unspoken love for bougee ramen.

Ningning, of course, looked fresh as a daisy. She glanced at Y/n, her mischievous eyes gleaming. “Looks like it’s up to us, Y/n-oppa.”

Y/n sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Why do I feel like I should’ve expected this?”

Ningning grinned, clapping him on the back. “Don’t worry, I’ll help. I have superhuman alcohol tolerance.”

To remind everyone, this girl had multiple shots of whiskey and vodka. Plus, she downed a bucket of beer.

“…I want to ask how but I'm glad you do.” Y/n muttered, glancing at Karina, who had started humming a tune while tracing patterns on the wall.

Y/n took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what was surely going to be a long journey home. He crouched down next to Winter, who was now quietly mumbling something about the stars.

“Jeong-ah,” Y/n called softly, shaking her shoulder gently. “Come on, we need to get you home.”

She blinked up at him, her normally sharp eyes now glassy. “Y/n,” she slurred, her voice slow and thoughtful. “Did you ever wonder... why your ramen is so perfect?”

Y/n bit back a smile. “I’ll tell you all about it on the way home, okay? Let’s get up.”

With some effort, he managed to get Winter onto her feet, draping her arm over his shoulder. Ningning, meanwhile, had corralled Giselle, who was still trying to string coherent sentences together.

“I don’t understand how the world... like, exists, if something like the Shibuya Incident happened” Giselle was saying, her words trailing off as Ningning guided her out of the restaurant. “It’s just... Like legit imagine it.”

Y/n was about to follow when he heard Karina’s voice. “Y/n...”

He turned to see her still standing against the wall, looking at him with an expression that was somewhere between confusion and amusement. “You’re... really nice.”

Y/n blinked, thrown off by the sudden compliment. “Pff. Uh, thanks, Jimin. You too. Now let’s get you home, yeah?”

Karina nodded, though her feet didn’t quite follow her brain’s instructions. She stumbled slightly, and Y/n rushed over, catching her before she could fall. She looked up at him with a slightly dazed smile, and for a moment, the tension that had always existed between them seemed to disappear.

“Thanks, Y/n,” she mumbled, leaning into him.

Y/n’s face heated slightly as he helped her steady herself. He had never seen her this... vulnerable before. Usually, she was all business, cool and composed. It was strange, seeing her like this—but also oddly comforting, in a way. She was human, after all.

“Let’s go,” he said, keeping his voice steady as he led her out of the restaurant.

The drive back to the dorms was slow, but thankfully not too eventful. Y/n and Ningning managed to keep everyone in line, despite the occasional hiccups. At one point, Winter started singing a nonsensical song about ramen, which Giselle tried to harmonise with, but ended up laughing too hard to continue.

Ningning, the ever-efficient helper, stayed by Y/n’s side the whole time, making sure none of the girls wandered off or tripped over their own feet when heading towards the car and eventually the dorm.

“You know,” she said as they neared the dorms, “you’re handling this a lot better than I thought you would.”

Y/n shot her a tired look. “That’s because I have no other choice.”

Ningning laughed. “True. But you’re still doing great, oppa.”

Y/n and Ningning managed to get the girls inside without too much trouble, though Winter did insist on stopping by the vending machine to get some ramen snacks, which Y/n had to gently steer her away from.

Once they were inside, Y/n helped Karina to her room. She had been mostly quiet during the walk, her usual sharpness dulled by the alcohol. When they finally reached her door, she turned to him, her expression soft.

“Thanks,” she murmured, her voice low and sincere. “For everything.”

Y/n paused, surprised by the tone of her voice. “It’s no big deal. Just part of the job.”

She nodded, but there was something more behind her eyes—something he couldn’t quite place. Before he could think too much about it, she smiled again, though this time it was a bit more teasing.

“You should drink with us next time,” she said, her words slightly slurred but playful.

Y/n laughed softly. “I’ll think about it. Now get some rest.”

With that, he gently closed the door behind her, exhaling a long breath. As he turned, he found Winter standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall and looking surprisingly alert for someone who had been so out of it just minutes ago.

“Thanks, Y/n,” she said, her voice soft. “For taking care of us.”

Y/n smiled, feeling a warmth spread through him at her words. “Anytime.”

She gave him a sleepy grin before retreating to her room, leaving Y/n standing in the hallway, alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of accomplishment—not just for surviving the night, but for how far they had all come together.

Just as he was about to head home, Ningning appeared beside him, looking completely unbothered by the chaos of the night. “Hey, Y/n-oppa,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Good job tonight. Maybe next time, we’ll let you handle it all on your own.”

Y/n laughed, shaking his head. “Please don’t.”

Ningning winked before heading to her room, leaving Y/n standing in the dimly lit hallway, smiling to himself. Despite the exhaustion, despite the chaos, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for nights like this.

[justporo]

In between madness

A Night of Fake Smiles and Hidden Lies: Part 8

Author's Note: It's been like a week since I last updated - I needed to a bit of a break from this and now I feel the creative juices flowing better again. This is still rather... unremarkable? We're getting back into safer waters and to more exciting stuff soon I hope!

Astarion and Tav catch a small break from all the hedonistic craziness - not from their own shenanigans though. From here on out it will be a lot of chaotic gremlin energy with these two...

Songs: Stuck - Thirty Seconds to Mars Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You) Rating: Explicit Warnings: talk of past trauma

CHAPTER LIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ~~~

Having had enough of all the sinful shenanigans happening all around you for the time being, you both decided to get back to the ballroom – there was only so much of deep and dark desires that you could handle all at once. Although you couldn’t help but feel that you were of course much more affected by all this than Astarion was.

When you mentioned that observation to Astarion while you were making your way back, the vampire threw you a genuine tired smile. As you kept walking he dragged on your joint hands to pull you in closer so he could talk to you more silently as you passed through previous rooms. The guests, it seemed, had only become drunker and more unhinged since you had started exploring.

“Two hundred years of stuff like this is a quite frankly a long time to have your reactions dulled down a lot, my sweet”, he simply said – his voice lacking the usual tinge of playfulness.

You squeezed his hand affectionately before you replied: “I’m sorry, darling. I- I hope this is not…” Before you could even finish Astarion made a dismissive gesture with his other hand. Immediately you saw how his usual wit returned.

“I’m replacing tainted memories with more lovely ones as we speak, dear. For all that twisted shit going on here and all the memories it might bring back: I am still mostly thinking about that delicious strawberry that you so graciously offered me earlier, my heart”, the vampire drawled. His eyebrow twitched teasingly and his signature smirk was back also.

You would never get over just how quickly this man’s mood seemed to swing. One could argue that the term ‘drama queen’ would spring to mind.

Not even replying to his sultry comment you just gave him a look. He chuckled. And the rising tension of unwanted memories was at least for the moment resolved.

“It’s just… I thought I was more prepared. I mean, I’ve seen my fair share of messed up shit”, you continued as you left another room you had crossed before – the gambling den (and you couldn’t help but notice that cards and dice strewn about meant that some tables must have… tipped.)

“Absolutely, my love, I mean I was there for what I would guess was some of the most messed up shit. And if I may add” – he put his hand on his chest in his casually elegant manner – “I might even have been responsible for some of the fucked up stuff you’ve been put through”, Astarion gave back. The teasing tone was fully back now and his voice lowered for the last part until it was nothing but a whisper. His breath caressed your ear before he softly nibbled on it shortly – a drive-by reminder of what he could put you through.

You blushed and pressed your lips together until they were nothing but a thin line. This bastard just always had to keep going until he had you all flustered. You heard his triumphant chuckle.

You abruptly stopped and stomped down on his foot, catching him off-guard – payback! He stumbled into you and almost doubled over, making a nearby servant having to swerve around you.

“OWW!”, Astarion yelped and then hissed at you – his undying love for you temporarily put on hold. “You shithead!”, he spat at you.

“Yeah, just be thankful you didn’t put heels on me, you twat!”, you hissed back. He could change the mood suddenly. But guess what, so could you.

“What in the Nine Hells was that even for?”

“Don’t play coy, you know exactly what that was for! Stop making me all blushed and flustered at the most unwelcomed of times – and very much in public!”

Astarion’s eyes narrowed dangerously and you saw in his red eyes that he was ready to spit back again. But he, surprisingly, seemed to think better of it. But your sense of victory was only short lived when you saw the devilish sparkle in his crimson eyes.

“Oh, this isn’t over, love. Far from it”, the vampire promised, letting his tongue roll around in his mouth.

You stared at him and realised you might have made a mistake in thinking you could take it up with him on that. You stared at each other for a while. The vampire did not falter in the slightest.

But then Astarion just put his hand on the small of your back and proceeded to push you forward. “Not now though, my love, my payback will come in its own time, don’t worry”, he said cheerfully and drew out the last two words. And you blushed again.

But you were trying to be smarter about it now and refrained from trying to resist. You didn’t need to look at your vampire to know that a feral grin had found its way on his beautiful face.

Then, the two of you wandered quickly back through the rest of this maze of a mansion while trying to avoid the incubus or the drug den. And surely only after a few more minutes you made it back to the staircase that would quickly lead you back to the ballroom. You had been silent during the last couple of minutes of walking. But not because you were mad at Astarion (you could never stay mad at him for long if you were honest with yourself), but rather because your mind kept circling back to all you had seen, replaying scenes and images like a carousel. And on top of that you could feel that the whole rush of adrenaline set off by all the happenings so far started to wear off.

As you walked down the stairs, holding Astarion’s hand, the vampire threw you another glance: “Everything alright, my love?” He actually looked a little worried about you now.

You nodded at him as you kept thinking and dwelling in the oncoming wave of exhaustion. Truly, an opportunity to rest your eyes for a moment and also sit down would have been nice. But you were also determined to not let up and let Astarion have the full fun evening he’d been excited about for quite some time. So you decided to just push on – bit of exhaustion had never kept you from going on when much more perilous things than your social standing had been at stake during your joint adventures.

“I’m good”, you answered and squeezed his hand in assurance as you took the last couple of steps and were standing at the base of the staircase. Other than servants carrying around trays to and from the kitchen like bees busy to feed and provide for their hive, it was almost completely and pleasantly quiet and empty.

Every now and again, guests ventured up the stairs. But again, you couldn’t help but notice that people seemed to wander upstairs but so far it seemed you were one of the few that had come down again. Seemingly, it was almost as if two parties were going on at once – leaving the guests to decide if they were willing to cross a line; and some might even discovering that it had been a point of no return.

You were already heading back towards the direction of the big ballroom, but Astarion tugged on your joint hands and dragged you towards another direction – towards where the kitchen must be and the servants kept crossing. You grumbled at him for just dragging you on but the vampire just kept pulling you on with a smirk and a wink (“so many people would dream of me stealing them away and leading them to a hidden, dark corner, love. And here you are complaining for getting special treatment? Tss. Also didn’t we just talk about how you wanted me to not make you flustered in front of others?”)

But he didn’t lead you to a dark corner or even towards the kitchen but straight to where you hadn’t even noticed another set of double doors led outside. Much smaller than the ones you’d seen before and when you saw that it was just some of the staff standing around there and catching a break, you figured that it must be like a side entrance.

Astarion dragged you outside, earning some displeased looks from servants. But they still just went and left – obviously being instructed to not mess with guests and treating them with the utmost respect; no matter if they deserved it or not.

You stepped out onto a small round backyard that was now deserted except for the two of you. The space was surrounded by high hedges and much less pompous than the rest of the gardens or estate. A gravel path led around a pretty boring fountain and that was already the extent of the decorations.

It was pretty clear, that whoever had built this place had thought to accommodate servants with a little space – but only with barest minimum, baring them even from having a view on the city. Probably so they wouldn’t get ideas of working somewhere else, down there.

But despite the dull surroundings you were actually grateful for getting to have a few moments of peace amongst the rush of everything that was this night. You had imagined that it would be a wild ride, but this had felt quite like the fever dream for some parts.

Already you weren’t sure if you had actually seen the incubus with his pack of thirsty adorers or the poet reciting his dark words while being covered in blood. You still felt the buzz from all the drinks you’d had so far but in the crisp autumn air it let up a little. Your head cleared – as if you had come up from a dive and could finally get some fresh air into your lungs.

A sudden and even more urgent rush of exhaustion overcame you now and you realised that you had been holding way more tension in your body than you had admitted to yourself. And you suddenly felt the need to sit down.

So, you did and watched how a very poor stream of water came out the top of the boring fountain and pattered down into the basin below. Carefully you draped your skirts around you as to not ruin the wonderful garment. And on a whim, you stuck your head between your knees and let out a muffled groan – a mix of exhaustion and the pent-up tension.

Apparently, this, all this had taken much more of a toll on you then you would have thought: from the prospect of having to go to this spectacle and having to put up with rich arseholes (instead of just stabbing them with the pointy end of a knife and taking their purse) to experiencing a literal carnival of sin that tried to lure you in at every corner. Having sat down, giving yourself just a tiny break, you felt a bit like an oil lamp that you realised was about to run out of fuel.

“So, that’s what ‘good’ looks on you, my love, eh? What does ‘bad’ look like then, hm?”, Astarion said with a teasing and soft tone to you as he sat down beside you on the few steps leading down to the gravel path. Some tiny stones crunched under the soles of his fine leather shoes.

He softly placed a hand on your back and let it wander up and down – from your tailbone up to the nape of your neck where some small strands of hair had escaped from Astarion’s attempts of taming them with some pins.

“I’m not made for this kind of shit”, you muttered, your head still buried in between your knees.

You felt incredible grateful in this moment for Astarion seeing and realising your need to catch an actual break for a moment. It sometimes still surprised you how incredibly perceptive the vampire was. And the way he was so concerned about your well-being actually melted your heart.

Since the two of you had actually been in a committed relationship Astarion had been nothing but an actual sweetheart.

Yes, you bickered like an old married couple most of the time but that was just part of your chemistry. Yes, he made you occasionally want to scale a wall because of his antics. And yes, he sometimes almost lost his mind when you were unreasonable and stubborn about something.

But you loved each other and cared for each other deeply. And that fact was so deeply rooted in the basis of your relationship now that you could honestly assure yourself that there wasn’t something you were surer of in your life.

And so, you were thankful for Astarion – yet again – helping you with taking care of yourself a little better. This time, by having you sit down for a minute and relax instead of forcing yourself to always just push through.

For a few moments you just sat there, eyes closed, listening intently to the pitter of the boring fountain weakly spewing out water and some clattering from the nearby kitchen while focusing on the pleasant feeling of the vampire’s hand gently stroking your back.

“I think you’ve done rather well so far, my love!”, Astarion cheerfully exclaimed after a few more moments of calming near-perfect silence and pat-patted your back. “You screamed at some pretentious people, were the most beautiful person at this event and yet still haven’t sold your soul away for some temporary indulgence and also still have all your limbs about yourself – not even to mention your dignity”, he went on happily. “I’d actually call this evening quite the success so far.”

The vampire affectionately put his arm around you and pulled you against his shoulder as he said that. Then he bowed down and pressed a small kiss against your ear that tickled you and made you wriggle in the comforting hold of his arm.

“I thought I was only the second most beautiful person at this event?”, you replied from between your knees but couldn’t help letting a teasing tone enter your voice.

“I mean obviously, my sweet. But that’s what I get for trying to be nice? For trying to put my beloved before myself? I was only trying to make you feel better, love, but if little white lies is where you draw the line... And don’t go complaining about my ego again then!”

You peeked from where your head was still buried between your legs and saw that Astarion had started to gesticulate in one of his dramatic fashions. He was clearly putting on an act to cheer you up – and you loved him for it. Also, it was working.

“Yeah yeah, you’re putting me before you especially in the kind of situation you want me to stab someone for you”, you simply replied as you felt yourself starting to grin.

“What art thou accusing me of, villain, ‘tis a vile rebuke!”, Astarion went on placing the back of his free hand on his forehead then looking at you from the corner of his eyes seeing you peek up from your crouched position.

“Also, I can very well do my stabbing myself, thank you very much.”

The non-sense he kept spewing already made you forcefully draw down the corners of your mouth to not completely lose it.

“You’re full of shit – and yourself!”, you threw in.

“At least, I’m full of something!”

“Did you just call me hollow?” You lifted your head up from between your legs and stared at him in mock disbelief while struggling more and more to not break into laughter.

“You tell me.”

The audacity on this insolent godsdamned vampire.

But then as you kept staring at each other, both grinning, you just couldn’t contain yourself anymore. Some more tension easily left your body with the companionable laughter the two of you shared then.

Afterwards a hearty yawn broke free from your chest. And as you calmed down you went back to putting your head in between your knees with a deep breath. You really wanted to get back up again and keep going but then again – just sitting here with Astarion and goofing around was its own worthy pastime. Your partner started stroking your back again as you relaxed some more.

“If it’s too much though we can always leave, my heart. Get away from all this debauchery and the pretentious pricks. Although we’d be missing more chances to make ourselves the talk of town by the end of this night. But we could maybe grab a bottle or two of this wonderful champagne and make our own sinful little fun – at home”, the vampire broke the silence softly after a while – and with a tinge of naughty promise at the end.

You considered it for a moment because the thought of just spending the rest of the night with Astarion who would also probably make good on some promises from earlier in the night was indeed very enticing, but…

“No! We’ve fought literal fucking Gods! I am not going to back down because some wealthy, privileged noble arseholes are being mean to me or can’t keep it in their godsdamned pants”, you replied with a sudden exclamation and lifted your head up, looking up at Astarion.

And you saw the glint in his ruby eyes and knew that this had been exactly what he had intended. Astarion – as always – had known exactly what buttons he had to push with you. He knew exactly that you wouldn’t back down from a challenge.

But he had incited something in you know. You wouldn’t be intimidated or taken aback by all this stuff – as you’ve said before: some time ago you would have insulted all these arrogant assholes and taken their jewellery in the process. And ruining the night of some more of those nobles actually sounded like a wonderful idea right now.

You stood up from your reclined position, straightened your back and rolled back your shoulders, lifting up your chin. Astarion looked at you full of pride. His chest positively swelling with love and adoration for his fierce companion and lover.

“Good, because I didn’t have a single dance with you yet, my heart, and I would surely be inconsolable if I wouldn’t get the chance once to show off my wonderful lady. We can’t have that, can we?”, Astarion purred at you while he got up from his sitting position and stood in front of you.

He put his arm around your waist and pulled you to his chest in a single quick motion that made you gasp. Astarion looked at you with a fire starting to burn in his eyes that immediately made you feel the heat rise up in you again.

With his other hand Astarion cupped your face as he placed his forehead onto yours while firmly holding you against his body.

“No, we absolutely can’t have that”, you replied as a huge mischievous grin started to split your face.

Astarion’s smirk answered you with full power and he kissed you quickly and passionately. You were almost ready to completely lose yourself to him right then and there on the steps of this mediocre backyard when the vampire pulled back.

His glazed over eyes from the passionate and fierce kiss quickly coming back to a devilish sparkle.

“Let’s wreak some real havoc on this party then”, Astarion whispered, quickly pressing his lips onto yours again.

The grin you answered him with was almost feral: “Yes, let’s.”

Tags: Tags: @aurasyn

@margoteve

@usuallyunlikelyfox

@hollowmasque

@worryknotdear

[pink-tonic]

Did You Hear?📰

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Warnings: None

Me and Taeko are walking to school like usual, but something is different. She's frantically texting someone on her phone. I can see her expression change from a happy one to a worried one.

I decide not to ask since it could be something private, but I can't help but to worry.

She looks up from her phone and finally speaks to me,"They burnt down the bakery."

I tilt my head in confusion,"What?"

"Amao's bakery! Someone came by last night and burned it to the ground!" Taeko explains with tears in her eyes.

"Wait, so the whole building is gone?" I ask with concern.

She taps on her phone and shows me a picture. The picture shows what's left of the bakery, but it's not much except a bunch of black rubble.

"Oh...wow," I respond in disbelief.

Taeko's tears keep on flowing. My frown deeps at her reaction.

"Taeko, I don't think you should go to school," I tell her, "you'll be crying the whole day, and I doubt you'll be able to do any work."

"I-I don't think my parents would let me stay," she says through her tears.

"Let's go to my house and rest there, alright?"

"Okay."

We head back down the street and to my house. My parents are at work, so nobody will be there. I look down at Taeko's crying form, and I can't help but to wrap my arm around her. I hope this can bring some comfort to her. She walks closer to me as she wipes her tears away.

When we make it to my house, I unlock the door, and we both walk inside. I walk up the stairs, and she follows me. I open up my bedroom and we both enter.

"Go lay down," I tell Taeko as she steps in.

She lets out a small 'okay' and goes over to my bed. She sits down on my bed and takes off her shoes. She lays down and throws my blanket over herself.

"Do you want anything?" I ask her as I approach the bed.

She shifts her body, so she's now facing me.

"I'm kind of in the mood for ice cream. Do you have any?" She shyly asks as she looks up towards me.

"I think I have some. Let me go check," I tell her before leaving the room.

I go downstairs and into the kitchen. I open up the freezer and look for any ice cream. Fortunately, I'm able to find a pint. I head back upstairs with the pint, a spoon, and a napkin.

When I walk inside my room, I can see Taeko cuddled up with my blankets. I go over to her and place down what I brought. She looks up towards me and starts to get up.

She reaches out for the ice cream and spoon. She pops open the lid and starts to eat it.

"So... I didn't know you were friends with Amao," I state as I watch her.

She looks over to where I'm standing while she scoops up another spoonful of ice cream.

"I met him last week," she softly responds.

"Last week?" I question as I slightly tilt my head to the side,"I thought he wasn't here last week?"

"I didn't meet him in school," she tells me as she shifts her gaze away from me and then onto the floor.

"Then where did you meet him?" I ask as I take a seat on a nearby chair.

"Well, on Friday, I went into town to try and make myself feel better. After everything with Osano, I wanted to at least feel happy. I was sitting on a bench, and then Amao came up to me. He sees that I'm unhappy and offers me a cookie. We talked for a bit, and then we found out that we go to the same school," she explains.

"That makes sense. I guess, the two of you got close in a short time."

"Yeah..."

We both sit in silence, and I can't help but to feel a bit awkward. I never felt this before, but it feels like there is tension in the air. I look down to my feet, everting my eyes away from Taeko.

"(Y/N)..."

I hear my name leave her lips, but it's drained from any enthusiasm. I slowly look up to her.

"Yeah?"

"I think I need to tell you something," she says as she places the spoon and ice cream to the side.

"What is it?"

"You remember the note?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It still confuses me."

"I want to talk about the note from my friend."

"What do you mean? Didn't we clear that up?" I ask with confusion, I thought we were past that.

"My friend didn't send it, and she doesn't exist. The note was from me," she confesses as she shyly looks up to me.

"What?"

"The note you were supposed to get was from me, and I swear I put it in your locker. It had to be ours. There's no way I could get it wrong!"

"Does that mean?"

She takes a deep breath before looking at me,"Yes, it does. I'm in love with you, (Y/N). I was waiting on that hill for you, but you never came to me... I went home scared and heartbroken..."

"Oh, Taeko," I get up from my chair and go over to the bed,"You should've told me."

She looks up towards me with a glimmer of hope within her dark eyes,"Does that mean?"

Oh no...

"Taeko, I'm happy that you're telling me how you're feeling, but I don't think I feel the same," I admit to her. I can see the small hope in her eyes shatter at my words.

Tears start to appear in the corner of her eyes, and she starts to cry. She covers her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry that I don't love you the same way," I softly tell her.

"It-its okay. I-I can't ex-expect you to feel the same way," she struggles with her words, but I can still hear her even with all the pain in her voice.

I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her. She leans in closer to my touch and sobs into my chest.

The sounds of her heartbreak echos throughout my room. Giving my ears a harsh reminder that I was the one who did this.

The sobbing continues, but within five minutes, it dies down. Now, soft sniffles can be heard. I'm lost in my head as I keep hugging Taeko.

"(Y/N), you now have to tell me the truth."

I'm snapped out of my thoughts and look down at Taeko.

"What do you mean?"

"How come you always leave during lunch?"

Should I come clean now? She told me the truth about how she felt, but should I tell her about what Ayato did to me?

No, I can't. If I tell Taeko, she's going to get mad at Ayato and reject him. If that happens, then he is going to take his anger out on me. I can't have that happening.

"I got attacked," I lie to her.

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

"When I was in town, someone came up behind me and threatened to hurt me if I didn't give them my things. I gave him some of my stuff, but he still hurt me," I tell her as the lie flows out of my mouth.

"That's horrible," she tells me, "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's fine, but I go to the nurse's office to get my wound checked," I explain to her.

"When you kept leaving during lunch, I thought... nevermind," she trails off before ending her statement.

"What did you think?" I question. I'm interested to see what she thought.

"I just thought that you got tired of me, that's all," she admits with shyness.

"Why would you think that?"

"I feel I've been really clingy towards you. When Osano came back, I thought I would become less clingy, but he doesn't talk to me anymore... I just thought you got tired of me consistently being with you that you left to have some alone time."

"You're not clingy, Taeko. I really enjoy having you around. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner about where I was going."

"It's not your fault, I just wish I wasn't so clingy with you. When Osano was gone, I started to feel lonely. I know that people admire me, but no one really comes up to talk with me. Ever since you came into my life, I started to feel happy, and I just got too attached to you."

"Do you think that's why you cried over Amao?" I propose the idea to her.

"Actually... yeah. I think that's why I cried since he won't be coming to school anymore, so that means one less friend for me," she tells me while wiping off a few tears from her face.

"Taeko, don't cry over that. You'll always have me, okay? I hate seeing you like this. Isn't there anything that you want to do to make you happy?" I ask, hoping to make her feel better.

"Well, I heard that there's this play, and they are doing their last show tonight. Can we go and watch it?"

"Of course, anything for you."

[boundinparchment]

Dream a Little Dream of Me - XII

Celestia has a cruel sense of humor. He’s always known this, ever since his days as a student. But a soulmate? Really? Dottore/Female Reader Soulmate AU. Lore speculation, interpretations, etc. AO3 Chapter is Here.

That hope carried you through the rest of the morning.  It got you through a breakfast meeting, plucking bánh bao with difficulty from the serving dishes while coordinating roles during the workshop.  Your hands were better as far as pain went but your grip was still weak.  After dropping a bun more than once into a different dish, your colleagues settled on you not playing.  It didn’t tarnish your mood much; last night gave you a bit of practice on how to frame music to someone more logically-inclined.

If anything, it soared even higher when you received a letter stamped with the familiar sigils from Fontaine.  You would recognize your old patron’s seal anywhere and you tucked it away for later; no distractions, at least, nothing further just yet.

Such hope failed to disappear until your section set up your positions on-stage, checked the time, and found most of the seats in the performance hall empty. Well, not entirely empty.  A few seats were filled with a cluster of people from Zubayr Theater, according to your manager.  Some children, clearly young musicians, were seated towards the front and a cluster of students from the Akademiya were present, too.  But all in all, hardly the turnout you expected.

After introducing yourselves, you dove right into the basics, repeating the necessary parts by heart.

“Our instrument is part of a larger classification called a chordophone; that grouping describes a type of instrument that creates sound from vibrating strings when played by a performer,” you began.  “Lutes, sitars, zithers, harps, and even the guitar are considered to be chordophones.”

You walked through the parts of the instrument and how it worked, explaining that the strings, either played with a bow or plucked, caused vibrations that bounced around in the wooden body.  On and on you went, answering questions from the eager younger musicians in the front and the technical ones from the Theatre group.  The students from the Akademiya watched but their line of questions was unexpectedly caustic.

“Wouldn’t it be more effective to–”

“What importance does music hold on a country in the middle of an energy crisis?” 

Slowly, it became clear to all of you that the scholars of the Akademiya weren’t in the audience to learn.  Your discerning ear caught their low laughs that started every time your colleagues began to play.  It was throwing off the rhythm lead ever so slightly and was clearly making the other attendees uneasy.  The younger children, one of them fidgety, were far more well-behaved, and you caught glares and looks of sympathy coming from the group in the back.

You watched the performers next to you, finding everyone’s nerves a little bit shot; brows knitted, shoulder stiff, nostrils flared.   And then you heard a barely-hidden remark of how it was no wonder Fontaine was suffering as much as it was, if the nation’s money was going into pathetic dreams and unimportant fields of study.  Someone’s finger slipped, their concentration broken, and a dissonant chord rang out through the hall, hanging like a fugitive in front of the Hall of Justice.

“If you aren’t here to at least be respectful, you can leave,” you finally snapped, glaring at the students.  “No one is keeping you here.”

The two scholars shared a look, heads ducked in embarrassment, before they slipped out of the auditorium.  One of them gave a last glance backwards and appeared to be counting.  You sighed, ignoring the glare from your manager, who then approached one of the Theater members.

What a waste of time, for both you and the few attendees.  You apologized to the children and their guardians but it was clear from their expressions that such an occurrence was hardly new .

How heartbreaking.

You did your best to find the flow again after a quick discussion amongst your section.  Just as you finally reached the end of the lecture and the demonstration of the techniques talked about came to an end, the doors at the back slammed open and the harmonious notes squealed as bows slipped from shock at the sudden intrusion.

“This performance will stop at once.”

“What the hell is a Sage doing here…” one of your section members muttered.  “We didn’t…”

“We should have known something like this would happen, with the way so many researchers from Fontaine have been whimsically passing through over the years with nary a care.  Of course, such a program would lack the sufficient depth to keep its audience intellectually satisfied.”

Everyone grew so still that you swore you could hear the faintest shift of fingers against a fret board, strings flexing in response.  Despite the strain in your fingers, you squeezed your hands into fists, holding them there just until your muscle protested before relaxing again.  If there was one thing you would never tolerate, it was the hard work you and everyone else accomplished being so easily dismissed as nothing of significance.

“Wait here,” your manager called to the stage.  “Sage Azar, why don’t we step outside?  There’s little reason for a scene, especially with children around.”

The conversation didn’t last long and when your manager returned, it was clear from the look on their face that things had not gone as expected.  When the words left their mouth and you were told to pack up, you felt as if your blood was on fire.  How was this fair?  How could someone, one of the very scholars who watched over Sumeru, be so easily dismissive of the arts over students being disrespectful?

“Not sufficiently intellectual enough?” you balked.  “Students of this very Akademiya were being incredibly disrespectful to both our professions and our homeland.  They left without so much as an apology.  Was it not part of the agreement that the tour included opportunities for Sumeru’s citizens to “cultivate their wisdom”?  That we focus on intellectual value?”

You knew the terms inside and out, if only because all of you had gone through great lengths to ensure that you focused not on the emotional, on the intangible, but rather anything that could be grounded in technique, in proven theory.  You continued, enraged.  Was the love all of you held for your craft worth nothing?  Less than nothing?

“We did just that.  And whenever an audience member is being disruptive to others, it is in the best interest of the larger group that they be removed; we are well within our rights to do so.  Hell, they probably take the same approach in the classroom.  It doesn’t warrant being shut down–”

Someone nearby let out a slow, steady breath through their nose, while another mumbled something in your shared mother tongue.  Fontaine was bureaucratic, prone to red tape nightmares, but this?

“Enough,” your manager barked.  “I know you feel that what’s happened isn’t right.  It’s not.  We submitted all our paperwork far ahead of schedule and received confirmation that everything was in order.  Our intended topics and permits are on file.  If there was an issue, it should have been mentioned months ago,” your manager gestured with open hands.  “However, they are letting us keep our payment and it’s in our best interest to not push our luck.”

The trouble that would come otherwise did not need to be spelled out.  You were all keenly aware of how strict budgeting was.  A discrepancy like that would result in fines and penalties that would stretch on for years.

You fought to control your facial expressions.  How could the Sage not only justify the scholars of the very Akademiyia he served but outright consider all of the work, all of the effort, all of the passion, to be worth not knowing and learning about?  Impolite behavior and the intrinsic value of the arts were hardly on equal footing to argue over, let alone terminate an agreement.

Was this what Dottore had been getting at?  About rigid structures and lack of freedom?  

As you packed up, you pretended not to notice the figure in the same box as before, just barely out of sight; you needed to have a talk about how glowing accessories were the furthest things from inconspicuous.

____________________

It wasn’t until hours later, when dinner was served and word already spread about the Akademiya’s decision, that your manager returned to the inn with a stranger in tow.  You vaguely recognized him as one of the audience members from earlier in the cluster of performers from Zubayr Theater.  The bad news was delivered in-hand with a solution that would not only cover expenses but make good use of the now-empty window of time in the tour schedule.

Your manager was practically beaming.  “We’ll be performing alongside the Theatre for the celebration of the Sabzeruz Festival.  It’ll give us a chance to learn about the Dendro Archon and see the other side of Sumeru City, beyond the walls of the Akademiya.”

“I should preface,” the stranger, who introduced himself as Sheikh Zubayr, “that the Akademiya does not fund the Festival.  If anything, they pretend it doesn’t exist.  They have yet to do more than snub their noses at us.  But I’ll be in charge of direction and providing guidance for the chosen compositions.”

He continued about the festival itself, a celebration named after the Goddess of Flowers.  Initially, it celebrated Greater Lord Rukkhadevata but was now used to commemorate the birth of Lesser Lord Kusanali.  Much like Fontaine, Sumeru had lost their original Archon, it seemed; however, the powers that be seemed reluctant to acknowledge the change in power, or even the new Dendro Archon herself.  Fontaine, on the other hand, embraced the God of Justice so quickly that it was almost as if her predecessor hadn’t existed except on paper.

Around you, people began to whisper and exchange looks.  Excitement danced along the dinner tables in raised eyebrows, smiles, and cheers.  A few people didn’t join in the celebration, their looks of concern barely hidden, mouths firm and arms crossed.

“It does push back a few performances but Port Ormos isn’t far.  Theoretically, we should still be home on time.”

“Perhaps it might not be for the best to get in the middle of certain sentiments,” someone chimed in; a woodwind player, you recalled.  “It’s impossible to not hear how highly scholars talk of the old Archon, of Rukk…ah, merde , I had it earlier…”

“Rukkhadevata,” another voice supplied.

“Yeah, her,” the flutist rubbed the back of her neck.  “It just…there seems to be certain sentiments about the arts in general as it is.  We might be kicking the hornets’ nest.  We’re foreigners, as far as everyone else is concerned…”

“We would only be performing for the festival,” your manager said.  “And as I mentioned, it would be a good experience to bring back with us.”

Judging by their tone, arguing was out of the question.

The extended stay in Sumeru City did, however, mean that you might just get more time than expected, assuming the Doctor was even available.  He did try to at least provoke you into a fight, regardless of his reasoning and the dream that followed.  And even putting that moment aside, it was clear that perhaps he didn’t have the time, or even the wherewithal, for…

Would staying be a good thing?  For more than just your career?

You had yet to read the letter from Fontaine, you recalled.  Your patron’s seal was unbroken still, pressing against your skin and burning a hole in your pocket.

Before you closed your eyes for the night, you curled up and broke the seal.  The wax picked up a layer of the parchment it was attached to and left behind an ugly, rough patch.  Your heart dropped into your stomach as you read the looping handwriting before it almost stopped entirely.

A request to resume patronage upon your arrival back in Fontaine with an additional offer to pay you twice your current salary to come back early.  Something about playing for important dignitaries and how your presence would be not only a comfort but one that would make the party all the more elegant.  In the back of your mind, you knew it would be nothing like the position you held now; patronage was, at times, not unlike pedigree shows people held for horses or dogs.  The nobility flaunted their artists and musicians and inventors the same way they flaunted their jewels and furs and silks.  A position fit for a Harbinger’s soulmate, certainly, but with all the added trappings of navigating society and its cloak and dagger nonsense.

The timing was quite odd.  Everything took a completely different direction in the course of a day with the tour and now your old patron wanted to offer you a place again?  So suddenly?  

An excited jolt skipped in your chest as your heart gave itself the answer it already knew.

[jestdrabbles]

Every Hurdle, Every Chasm - Chapter 03

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Warnings: none Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu, Todoroki Shouto Relationships: Dekusquad friendship | Pining Tododeku & Tsuchako Other info: Dekusquad Roadtrip AU ; Fun times ahead but also some emotional times so I should definitely warn about that!; MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS.

Words: ~8,600 | Chapter: 03/14 | Language: English

Somehow this one turned out longer even though I struggled a lot to actually write it. Hopefully next chapter doesn’t take too long to put out! Also I made up the city they stop at, so that’s not supposed to be a real place or anything

Day 03 - Don’t Expect Too Much  [December 26]

The bathroom door is closed when Izuku rises from the dead of sleep, ready to wash his face and brush his teeth to rid himself of the nightly grime. Windows tell him sunrise is still on its way, once again losing against Tenya’s near-perfect record. His eyelids drop once, twice, then will him back into his drowsiness, but he wakes in full when the door creaks open. Messy brown hair nearly matches his own, and her eyes remain shut despite her attempted energy.

“Mornin’ Deku,” Ochako bumps her knuckles to his arm, “bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks,” he passes through, but leans his head out the doorway as she walks toward her parents’ room. “Is Tsuyu awake?”

“Mmhm,” she waves back without turning around. Izuku nods to himself and shuts the door to tend to the morning’s grooming. He half-expected Shouto to need more nudging out of bed, but the sleeping bag was already rolled and set against the sofa by the time he’d awakened; Shouto himself had been sitting against the wall with his phone plugged in, bag seemingly packed at his side. Now that he thinks about it, he has no way of knowing if he actually slept at all.

In any case, he regrets not getting to bed sooner himself with how sluggish he feels. That’s what he gets for pushing his limitations, so he opens the bathroom for whomever may need it next and nearly collides with them mid-yawn.

“Still sleepy?” Shouto asks with his hand at Izuku’s shoulder to keep them from running into each other.

“I’m amazed you aren’t.”

He grins and pats his shoulder as he passes him, content without saying much else when he walks further down toward Ochako’s room. Izuku watches as the door opens to let him inside, then he returns to the living room to find Tenya sitting beside the stack of folded blankets. Izuku returns his toiletry bag to his luggage and zips it shut.

“Do you have everything packed?”

Izuku sets aside the blankets and takes the newly made spot beside Tenya so he can use his arm as a place to rest his head, and he nods. The other smiles down at him and decides to let him rest his eyes a little longer until they have to load everything in the car.

The engine takes a few turns to finally start up, and the whirring lulls the resident sleepyheads to catch up on those last few hours before having to truly face the oncoming day. Ochako takes the front seat with Tenya, and they set out beneath dawn’s deceptively warm lights peeking over the landscape as they depart from the city and merge onto the highway. Ochako watches her hometown vanish behind her in the side mirror, and she smiles at the memory of her parents’ half-awake farewell.

She promises next time, they’ll have more time together.

They drive with the music low, voices no higher than careful exchanges during class, and soon enough they hear movement in the backseat between the blanket draped across both Tsuyu and Izuku. She wakes with her squint at the sunlight and yawns into her long fingers.

“Mornin’,” Ochako turns in her seat, “again.”

“Morning for real,” she sits up straighter to stretch her back and lets out a content sigh. “It’s so warm in here.”

“Yeah, we figured making it nice and toasty would help everyone rest easier.”

“You figured right,” she gives them a thumbs up, even if Ochako is the only one who can really see it. “Do we want to stop somewhere for breakfast?”

“I was thinking we could wait until everyone wakes up,” Tenya begins, glancing toward the back through the mirror, and he catches himself in a grin when he sees one teal eye open.

“I’m awake.”

“Of course you are,” Ochako deadpans and looks to Izuku, head leaning against his seatbelt strap as he snoozes. “Did you guys stay up late or something?”

“I didn’t hear them after going to bed myself,” Tenya shrugs, “and I didn’t feel Midoriya move all that much. As for Todoroki, he’s fairly quiet to begin with.” Once realizing that they are not, in fact, stopping for breakfast just yet, Shouto closes his eye and leans back in his seat without further comment.

The three make small talk concerning the weather predictions, the unlikelihood of rain with all the snow, and Tsuyu almost slumps in her seat. Tenya attempts to boost her spirits through the various sights they’ll be able to enjoy together, and Ochako chimes in to add that a hot spring will be even better in this kind of weather. They can all agree on that one.

Within the hour, Izuku blinks awake and stretches his neck until it cracks, then his shoulders. His phone reads a bit past 7AM before he tries to lean toward the center seat to see the digital clock on the dashboard; Tsuyu tells him good morning, and he illuminates almost instantly. Leave it to the fluffiest of the bunch to be bright eyed and bushy tailed at his real start of the day.

Tenya grins and keeps his eye out for an exit while Ochako searches for nearby cafes.

Tsuyu nudges Shouto awake once Tenya masterfully parallel parks on a side street, and they pull their shoes back on quick. Izuku wins that race since his sneakers are always tied loose anyway, and he joins Ochako on the sidewalk to contribute to the meter. Tenya finishes up by tossing the blanket over their luggage to discourage any curious eyes from breaking in, and they follow their rosy-cheeked companion as she directs them toward the restaurant.

“Western-style?” Tsuyu comments once they reach the building, noting the menu on display outside the window.

“I’m going to eat so many pancakes,” Izuku taps his finger on the all-you-can-eat price, but Ochako drags his finger to the All-Star American combo, and he finds himself immensely conflicted. Tenya holds the door open for them, the small ring of a bell notifying the hostess to welcome them and take them to a booth. Shouto and Tenya occupy one side while the three shorter squeeze into the other, Ochako having claimed the center.

The waitress arrives to take their drink orders after distributing water for the table, and Ochako peels the paper of her straw just enough to blow the wrapper out at Izuku’s cheek. She snickers, and he fires his back at her in vengeance, the paper striking at her nose. Thankfully the other three keep out of the spat, but Shouto’s worked his into an intertwined shape until he pushes the bottom upward and forms a small paper rose.

“That’s so neat!” Izuku stares at it pinched between his finger and thumb, and Shouto offers it to him since he seems interested enough. “I didn’t know you did origami, Todoroki.”

“Don’t be too impressed,” he leans back and shrugs. “I only know how to make things like this from strips of paper, but I can’t make anything from squares.”

“Oh, you mean like lucky stars?” Ochako takes the paper rose from Izuku to twirl it in her fingers. He nods, and her eyes sparkle. The implications make her cheeks flush, and she kicks her boots under the table. Who would have thought he could be a romantic? “Can you teach me some time?” Another nod, and she returns the rose to Izuku without calling as much attention to it as she’d like. Lucky, indeed.

The waitress comes back with their preferred drinks, and they each take their turns ordering their food after skipping Izuku, still weighing his options until he goes for the combo, and Tenya takes a sip from his juice once she’s left them again.

“So we have a long stretch until we reach Hokkaido. If we time it well, we won’t have to drive too much into tomorrow, but we have time to make a stop if there’s anything on the way you all want to do. I’d prefer we get back on the road by sundown at least,” Tenya thinks aloud, and Shouto stops himself from taking his coffee, setting it back down on the saucer. The three across mentally debate locations, and Tsuyu is the first to pull out her phone and check for anything interesting. Ochako glances over to share some input, and both of them grin wide and turn the phone to Tenya and Shouto without showing the curious set of green eyes across from them. They read the article header and immediately shift their eyes to a very confused Izuku, and they both nod in their own smiles.

“This is rude,” he rests his chin in his hand, and Ochako relents to share the screen with him. His expression lifts almost instantly, and he holds the phone in both his trembling hands as he scrolls through the review on a famous Hero Museum in Kashu, about an hour away from where they are now. “Am I the only one who wants to do this, or…?”

“I’m interested,” Shouto assures as Izuku passes Tsuyu’s phone back to her. He doesn’t add any further explanation, but the others seem to agree. They discuss possible attractions, debate over what heroes will have larger displays, and check out other sights in the area. The Ice and Snow museum piques their interest as they try to delicately hint toward Shouto, but he states only if they have time and nothing else to do.

His lukewarm reaction motivates Ochako to try finding something else, but the waitress brings their food, and soon the table is covered in plates of pancakes, waffles, eggs, sausage, and bread. Tsuyu practically hoards the jelly for herself as she spreads it between a biscuit, and Izuku draws a star from the syrup over his short stack. Ochako takes a couple pictures of the spread and puts her phone away to enjoy her large waffle, and Tenya slides his fried egg over toast while Shouto cuts into his omelette. Conversation dies as their hunger satisfies; the only words exchanged go between offers of sharing and tasting.

“Waiting for it to cool off?” Tsuyu points to Shouto’s coffee after noticing how he hasn’t touched it since putting it down, and he finishes chewing when he shakes his head.

“If we’re stopping somewhere, then I need to sleep a little more so I can drive later.”

“This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if you went to bed earlier,” Tenya advises, and Shouto hums his mmhm as he continues eating. He glances at the coffee, taps it with the side of his finger, and points across to offer it to anyone if they want it. Ochako sways her ankle against Izuku’s lower leg gently, and he takes the hint to accept.

When Shouto smiles, Izuku shields his own in a gulp of semi-sweetness.

They leave the restaurant and pile back into the car after finishing up their breakfast.

Somehow, Tsuyu manages to convince the backseat that Shouto should nap sprawled across them so she can style his hair. Izuku ends up with his legs bent like a cage nearly trapping him in his seat, and a pillow separates his head from Tsuyu’s lap. Shouto’s fingers lace over his abdomen, and he closes his eyes to try and sleep while long fingers comb through his outgrown hair. Their restless friend relaxes enough to drift off, and Izuku does his best not to accidentally knock his knee or thigh when he leans.

“Hey Uraraka?” she turns around in the front seat, “Can you grab my bag? I can’t really reach it like this.”

“Sure thing!” she stretches her arm toward his feet and taps the yellow backpack with her quirk, lifting it to pat over in his direction. Once he’s taken hold, she releases it, and the weight nearly drops on Shouto’s knees before he catches it fully. His hand rummages inside to search for a small case, and he pulls out his Vita to continue the next level of his game.

“That reminds me... I should check up on my camp,” Ochako occupies herself with the app on her phone, “I still need to work on my aesthetic. Have you added anything new to yours, Tsuyu?”

“I’m still hoping to find the lilypad table, so I’m working on crafting plants mostly,” she recounts as she continues brushing through his hair, careful not to bump his scar when she sweeps his bangs to the side. “I’m still trying to level up and unlock more frog villagers to host.”

“What are you two talking about?” Tenya inquires, and Ochako nearly holds her phone out to show him until she realizes that he will absolutely not take his eyes off the road to study the display for details. They explain the mechanics of Animal Crossing, and Ochako uses the opportunity to brag about Tsuyu’s talents in keeping up with her town and decorating it. While she never had an opportunity to own a game console herself, Tsuyu recommended the app so they could play together.

They’d tried to convince everyone else to join in, but it’s too easy to fall out of maintenance when schedules are so hectic for heroes.

Tenya laments briefly the busyness of the program, but he commends the two for managing to balance time enough to enjoy a leisurely activity together. Tsuyu cuts herself short in a ribbit, and Izuku notices the way her cheeks flush while she finishes up a braid with his silvery strands. The rest of the ride is spent in pleasant quiet, mindful of their one sleeping passenger and also enthralled by their respective hobbying.

Ochako breaks the silence with her giddiness upon coming across Mikacchi, and she mutters her extensive plans of friendship courting enough for Izuku to tease her about it.

Shouto wakes as the car pulls into park, and his wrist rubs at his eyes before noticing how the hair on his right side doesn’t fall back on his cheek. His fingers find the tied hairs pulled back, and he sits up and frees both Tsuyu and Izuku from his weight. He checks the rest of his hair for any styling, but to no avail.

Astonished, he turns to her. “I didn’t even feel it.”

“Corpse, then,” she remarks as she opens the door, and he falls for its ambiguity until shrugging it off on his way out. Ochako is the first to praise her handiwork and asks if he’ll take a picture with them, and he complies without changing his drowsy expression. She calls everyone else to group in so she can take a shot with the museum behind them, and she passes her phone to Tenya for his much longer arm so they would all fit.

Despite its popularity, the lines pass efficiently through quick bag checks and cooperating card readers. Izuku nearly bounces in his clunky red sneakers the closer they get, and once he has the museum map in his hands, he pulls it open and scans the exhibits with his own eagerness interrupting his muttering, and it takes both Tenya and Ochako to steer him onward and away from the entry so others can pass. He works out a route with his finger dragging across the map and connecting the ins-and-outs of the varying rooms, everyone leaving it to him and his capable hands.

Shouto asks to borrow the map a moment, and Izuku happily passes it with a peek as he follows his eyes scanning the map. No real indication what he’s reading and thinking, but he folds it and slips it back into Izuku’s hands as he returns his own to his pockets.

“No way! Is that Crimson Riot? I have to send this to Kirishima,” Ochako charges forward and takes as many pictures as she can to capture the bits of old merchandise and news articles, and she sends the plethora of photographs to his biggest fan despite the limited signal inside the building. Rather than fight with it, she manages to connect to the guest wifi and receives a string of gushing texts once they all go through at once.

They follow along per Izuku’s suggestion, stopping at familiar heroes to tease their professional personas versus meeting them in person, but a tribute to Ragdoll and her team leaves them in bittersweet memory. Shouto steers their attention to Gang Orca, only to reference how much of an idiot he’d been during the license exam their first year, and Izuku snorts with the softened mood. They exchange a light banter with Shouto’s hand blocking Izuku’s gentle fist, and Tenya turns toward one of the more sizable exhibits showcasing past members in his family tree.

Before he gets carried away, he checks to make sure how his brother’s reposition is handled and breathes a sigh of relief at the absence of any mention of the word victim. Izuku is the first to join his side, admiring the replica displays of each costume.

“They’re probably going to add you when you graduate, Tenya,” Tsuyu reaches the end of the family tree and points to the available space. The rest immediately face him with a spark in their eyes, and he coughs into his closed hand

“I’d much rather earn it then obtain the honor by default on account of my family name,” he flattens his hand as it comes down from his mouth. Although they respect his ideal, they can’t help but poke at him with additional praise that he’ll earn it in no time at the rate he’s going. Ochako especially points toward a mention of him as a nameless younger brother to the former Ingenium, and he appreciates remaining anonymous until making a true debut.

As he discusses some context for a few articles pertaining to his grandparents, other guests stop to listen and brighten when they realize who he is. Tenya entertains a few questions, smile beaming with pride as he shares what he can. Izuku notes the difference between bragging and praising another’s accomplishments, and he listens intently for whatever new details he can jot down in his notes. Once he’s had his fill, he dismisses himself and thanks those who have listened earnestly for their interest and support.

Tsuyu and Ochako smile to themselves as they overhear the chatter and compliments directed toward him.

The following displays bleed into one another from veteran heroes to rising stars, and Izuku mentions that there’s a sense of build up to some larger names like Best Jeanist and Ryukyu, garnering excitement from both the girls. When they reach her exhibit, they join hands and read through the item descriptions and clippings together and recount a few memories from their internship without mentioning the catastrophic morning mission.

Izuku doesn’t linger around to listen. If anything, he seems preoccupied with what’s to come.

The girls take a selfie with the image of Ryukyu behind them and send it to Nejire for old time’s sake, to let her know they’re thinking of her, then continue onward through the supposed countdown of heroes. Soon enough, they reach the hero both Izuku and Shouto have been dreading without sharing a single word about it to one another, and the former continues in his steps as if to completely pass the display until he notices Shouto stiff in his steps.

Hellfire burns in the forefront of his mind when the flames flicker in the roped-off chalice.

He squints at the small placate discussing its significance, and he grimaces at the thought of Endeavor having granted them some sort of mock eternal flame.

The display is just as gaudy as Shouto imagined it would be. Newspaper clippings, photographs, and awards encased and proudly broadcasted to showcase someone who dedicated his entire life to second place. A victory only due to the first stepping down. It figures the only remnant of his personal life exists in the form of his old U.A. gym uniform, if only to discuss his alma mater, athletic, and academic accomplishments.

No mention of a wife or four children.

Or so he’d like to pretend, but the visitors recognize him immediately, and he shuts them down coldly as they ask for additional trivia. It’s the total opposite of Tenya’s attitude toward his own family’s dedication; he almost wants to press further, but Izuku halts his arm and asks him to leave it be. Shouto understands what it means to ignore fans, and he knows the consequences. This is no way to rise to the top or win favor, but neither is pretending that a renowned hero deserves a display and following like this.

The space closes in, fire threatening to burn its remaining oxygen, and he holds his breath.

“I’m sorry if I upset him,” a woman approaches the other four, Shouto having moved on to the next display on his own. Ochako shakes her head and waves her arms hoping to soften any offense, but the woman continues, “I just never thought I’d have a chance to meet someone connected to Endeavor, so I may have come off pushier than I’d meant.”

“Don’t worry,” Tenya reassures, “he comes across as aloof, but I don’t believe it directly reflects how he feels to the other person. And being the son of such an established hero, I’m sure he has to deal with it often. Sometimes it’s easier to deny everyone then end up stuck in an unyielding questionnaire.”

“That,” she cups her cheek as she mulls over what he’s said, “makes perfect sense. I should have been more considerate. I suppose I’ll try sending another letter… Anyway, sorry to take your time!” The woman dismisses herself, leaving the others to ponder what she could have wanted with the Number One hero that would make her try to reach his son instead.

They shake their heads and regroup with Shouto, unfazed by what’s happened, and he calls Izuku closer to show him an old trinket from the beginnings of heroism back in the United States. With fingertips hovering in front of the glass, it nearly fogs from his breath so close as he marvels at the history. These items seem to be on loan from a museum abroad, and he takes his time absorbing the notes and evolution of hero merchandise.

“Some of these are so cheesy,” Ochako reads a few translations from old buttons, and Izuku grins.

“That’s part of the charm, I think.”

“I can’t wait to see what yours are like,” she bumps him with her elbow, and he pulls back from the glass with a degree of confidence rising from his blush. If anyone can derive comfort from seeing his name or motto, then he knows he’ll have done his job.

They follow the path of former heroic icons, ones who could have been considered number one of their respective eras  if the title were around at the time. The further they walk, the heavier his soles; Izuku can sense the pressure of expectations rising in his bones, and it nearly swallows him whole. Rescuing a few fellow classmates, heroes, and children is one thing, but it dawns on him that his goals have transformed his body into a future monument. He’ll become a wax statue, a glass case of history, a video on loop, a rusty, metal button, and a compost of remember-whens.

The red, white, blue, and gold cast upon them and leave him in his shadow.

“Oh wow, it’s lifesize!”

“Just what you’d expect from All Might’s exhibit,” Tsuyu ribbits as they approach.

“Midoriya could most likely recite every fact here,” Tenya boasts on his friend’s behalf, and Izuku snaps from his daze and chuckles. Shouto watches from the corner of his eye but keeps his observations to himself and instead basks in the comforting presence of their former Symbol of Peace.

“Try me,” he encourages Tenya and turns himself away from the display so he won’t read any of the tidbits. Entertaining the challenge, the others decide on which obscure fact to quiz him on.

“Two years following his debut, All Might left his agency abruptly and rushed himself to Imaichi to--”

“To apprehend villains who had struck dangerously close to Cedar Avenue, which was peculiar given the smaller population and inactivity there, so the attack had been a deliberate threat to the historic site in order to call attention to an otherwise peaceful area. It’s said that All Might rushed so quickly he was able to travel there, defeat and arrest the ones responsible, and return to his agency before lunch.”

“Impressive,” Shouto finishes reading the card and turns to Izuku, now blushing.

“Really, I don’t understand the point,” Ochako hums.

“Some people just want to watch the world burn,” Tsuyu quotes, and she isn’t satisfied but lets the matter go.

“How much control do you suppose the heroes themselves have over what ends up in here?” Tenya brings his hand to his chin, and Izuku eyes the rest of All Might’s portion to take note of what may stand out as a personal choice. Looking over the timeline’s order, he notices the lack of All for One’s mention in their previous battle before their reunion. Of course, there’s a muted news loop of his final battle’s coverage, but no real information on the villain at all.

“What is it, Midoriya?” Izuku breaks from his focus and turns to Shouto now at his left, and he apologizes for spacing out again but doesn’t quite answer the question. The other boy brings his attention to the display and recalls the night, but keeps his own thoughts to himself due to the company surrounding them.

“Hey, Deku, why don’t we send a picture to All Might?” Ochako joins him at his right and nudges him gently. His downcast illuminates almost instantly, and he tugs his phone from his pocket with a sincere nod. Rather than ask Tenya to take the picture again, she grabs the attention of a young couple and asks one of them to take a shot of all of them posing similarly to the giant statue of All Might with Izuku at the center.

“I could go for some activity after all that! Seeing all those heroes just made me want to get back out there,” Ochako adapts to a stance and swings her fist once they’ve regrouped in the nearby park after stopping for a quick snack. “Anyone wanna go for a jog? Or how about a spar?”

“That isn’t a bad idea,” Tenya agrees, then notices Tsuyu in her many layers, far too impractical for exercise. Before he can comment for her sake, she raises a hand.

“Moving around wouldn’t hurt,” she says, “besides, I can take this off if I need to.”

“Then how about we do some sparring? No using our quirks though!”

“Sounds good to me.”

“So, how are we gonna decide this?”

The five exchange looks until an idea sparks in Izuku’s brain and lifts his hand around his semi-empty soda bottle to showcase. They stare at it, then him, and he realizes all he’d exclaimed was This! and gave no further context.

“You know, like spin the bottle. But instead of kissing, we fight.”

“I love it!” claps Ochako. With no objections, they form a circle in the cold, dry dirt and each take their seats. They work out the ground rules, mostly to establish how long each sparring match should last, and finalize the window. “You go first since it was your idea, Deku!” He nods and spins it with far too much gusto, and they end up telling him to re-spin with less power behind it.

It lands between Tenya and Tsuyu, though closer to the former.

“Ooh! The two kickers!” Ochako cheers as they rise to their feet. She starts up a low chant of fight fight fight to get them in the spirit of competition, and they walk further toward an open patch of the park to give them plenty room to work with. Both take the time to stretch their arms, legs, joints, and back, then they assume the proper stance as they wait for their self-appointed announcer to give them the go. “And start!”

Izuku springs from the ground with a swift start and twists his kick into Tenya’s block, forcing him to shift quickly to avoid his counter. Confidence glints from his dark blue eyes when he swings his longer leg, and Izuku takes to defense as he shields himself behind his arms, studying Tenya’s movements and taking into account similar ways he could apply them to his own skills. Even without his quirk, he’s fast; Izuku relies on their height difference to break out of his range and ducks to try and knock him off his feet. Tenya stammers but anchors himself in heavy steps. Izuku retaliates with his palm digging into the cold dirt and swings his leg again, connecting successfully, but still only knocks him back without falling.

If that won’t work, an aerial strike might, he plans, but Tenya is already at his side with the side of his flattened hand knocking against Izuku’s shoulder blade to drop him forward. He braces his fall and whips himself around to face his opponent again, this time actively shutting off his analytical mind to rely on instinct. Just as he leaps from the earth again, Ochako shouts.

“Time!”

He falls the the dirt and grumbles, Tenya’s laughter filling his ears only until he extends his hand to offer him back to his feet.

“I’m still amazed how high you can jump even without your quirk,” he admires, “I would have liked to see where that went.”

“You and me both,” he tugs on their handshake, releases it, and bumps his fist. They exchange momentary flattery before returning to the circle, and Shouto takes Izuku’s dirtied hand in his own to inspect. Once he’s satisfied without worry of scratch or cut from the dirt, he releases it without having once looked Izuku in the face. Partly a blessing, since he could feel the heat building in his cheeks, more than before.

“Y-you’re turn,” he manages to say, and Shouto nods as he takes the bottle and spins it. His gaze fixates on the neck as it slows, passing Tsuyu, Tenya, then stopping almost perfectly on Ochako. She practically jumps to her feet with a loud, exuberant cheer.

“Hell yeah! Let’s go!” she sheds her jacket and readies herself to slam it on the ground, but she plops it over Tsuyu’s shoulders instead, adding complimentary pats. Her enthusiasm is intoxicating enough to upturn his lip, and he unties his scarf to pack it safely into his messenger bag left on the ground, letting his cardigan tumble into a puddle of itself on top. By the time they gain enough distance, she’s tied most of her hair back into a tight, messy bun, and she readies herself until no one says anything, and she turns forlorn toward the group.

“C’mon, someone announce us!”

Izuku immediately tries to think of what they could either have in common or stark contrast, but he overwhelms himself with the fact that he’s had a serious crush on both of them at some point. Tenya cuts in with his hand in the air as he shouts:

“Class A’s sun versus moon! Start!”

Shouto almost questions what he means, but he has no time when Ochako darts toward him with her body low to get a charging rush to his waist. While she knows it won’t necessarily work, she needs to keep close to him in order to have a chance at restraining him before time runs out. She may not be as analytically observant as Izuku, but she knows who is and isn’t a ranged fighter; Shouto does best when he’s working from a distance to propel ice and fire as necessary. So when he dodges her charge, she ducks out from under his arm where he swings his fist, and rises to wrap both hands around his arm and try to pull him down.

“Hey, no quirks!” she lets go of his heated arm as a precaution, and he touches it with his right.

“Sorry. I’ve been using it all day,” he quickens the cooling process so they don’t lose time, and she hits him with a penalty strike to his chest. She can tell he intentionally leaves himself open, opting to take the hit rather than block, and he uses the opportunity to reach for her shoulder and shove her away from him. Once balanced in her footing, she rises to the challenge and closes the space again, trying to keep on his left to restrain the arm again.

She’s strong enough, and she knows it, but something changes almost too instantly for her to register, and she shifts to the defensive to avoid his leg swinging around and against her armed barrier. The force pushes her back, soles clinging to the dirt, but her endurance keeps her standing. Ochako thrusts herself into his fist with one last charge, and they topple over into the ground with her weight pushing down on him to keep him secured below, but he jostles himself loose and sends her off to the side. Before either can recover, Tenya forms a T with his hands and shouts.

“Time!”

“Actually, a little over,” Tsuyu remarks. The two help one another off the ground, and Shouto inspects her less directly than he had Izuku. On their way back, she agrees to his offer of cooling the swelling on her arm where he’d struck, but she quickly feels her chilling sweat and pulls herself away to throw on her jacket again.

“So what was that about sun and moon?” Shouto asks as they catch their breaths and prepare for the next turn.

“I’ll admit, it was a dramatic stretch,” Tenya speaks with his fingers pressed to his chest and his other hand extended, “but I was referring to Uraraka’s sunny disposition and your… calmer one.”

“I’m a little insulted,” Ochako muses. “I kind of like being associated with the moon since it matches my face.”

“It does?”

“Yeah! Round and pretty, like me!”

“Plus your whole space motif.”

“Exactly!”

“I see now the error of my interpretations,” Tenya adjusts his glasses and lowers his head in a slight apologetic bow. “I’ll leave the announcements to you, Uraraka.”

Izuku turns to Shouto to watch him rub his hands together and hold his left arm, presumably warming himself up again after the match, and he attempts to offer his jacket when Tsuyu grabs the bottle in her turn to spin, watching with intense curiosity and ribbiting when it halts to a stop nearest Shouto.

“Again?!” Ochako exclaims.

“She can spin again if she w--”

“No,” Tsuyu interrupts Shouto’s proposal to stare into his eyes, “you’re my natural weakness if we’re talking about quirks, so if you’re up for going twice in a row, I’d like to spar with you.”

“I don’t mind, but let me even myself out first,” he learns from last time and cools down his left half before the match to neutralize his hot-and-cold levels.

“Also Tsuyu, since your quirk is mostly part of you, refrain from using your camouflage or tongue,” Tenya instructs, and she nods, working off most of her layers and piling them on Ochako’s offering arms. “Should we permit her long leaps?”

“Fine by me,” Shouto sheds himself of his cardigan once again and watches Tsuyu rub her arms in a momentary shiver. She notices the look in his eyes, sees how Recovery Girl’s teaching has influenced him, and she reassures that she’ll be fine once they start moving. He agrees that they not linger any longer than they need to, and they prepare themselves in the field. Ochako waits out their stretching before cupping her hands around her mouth to mimic a megaphone.

“Finish him off, Tsu! Start!!”

“Hey, we’re supposed to stay neutral!” Izuku turns to her, but she shrugs and keeps all of Tsuyu’s accessories and coat close to her chest as she watches eagerly. He forfeits a further argument, lighthearted as it were, and hugs his knees as he looks on.

Tsuyu keeps herself moving, leaping from side to side to keep her position unpredictable and shorten the distance between them. Her moves are quick and out of his natural range due to their stark difference in heights, and she uses it to her advantage when he swings a right hook. She ducks, and he swings again with his left, and she leaps from the dirt to twist herself midair and latch her leg around his neck, spinning the both of them in her momentum as she yanks them down to the ground with her thighs locking him in place as she lands perpendicular to him.

His hands press her thigh to pry himself loose, but she’s relying on their strength to keep him down. Ochako starts a mock countdown, pausing for dramatic effect when he manages to push them apart enough to squeeze himself loose and release an icy cough, and he holds up a hand to call an end to the match while she repositions her crouch to lunge for him again, but quickly returns to standing.

“That was incredible!” Izuku marvels at her technique as she pats her large hand against Shouto’s back.

“I just wanted to see if I could break your grip before calling it off,” he admits. “I’ll have to spar with you more under better circumstances.”

“You train a lot in your spare time, don’t you?” she asks with her finger on her cheek while they walk back to the circle.

“Yeah, but my sparring partner...s aren’t usually the small and agile type.”

She notes the correction but chalks it up to an afterthought when considering the class as a whole, and Tsuyu feels herself smiling at the thought of overcoming their weaknesses with each other’s help. But her smile spreads further when Ochako returns her clothes to her and hugs her tight with various praises about how cool that was and how she wishes she’d have filmed it.

Shouto returns to where his bag lay between Izuku and Ochako, and he exhales frosty breath as he dresses himself again and bundles the lower half of his face in his scarf wrapped around his neck. The boy beside him scoots closer to get a better look, and Shouto thanks his scarf from masking most of his flush from the green eyes lingering on him. “What is it?” he asks, voice muffled by the cloth.

“Are you okay doing that? Fluctuating your body temperature rapidly like that, I mean.”

“It’s fine, but I’m benching myself,” he replies. “Do you need me to warm up your jacket or anything?”

“Maybe if it lands on me again, yeah,” he looks away and props his arm on his knee to somewhat hide his face behind.

“Since everyone’s had a chance, does anyone want to just go for it?”

“Tsuyu, as much as I want to see you take us down, I think you should sit out to keep warm,” Ochako reluctantly advises, and Tsuyu blinks up from her nose sheltered by both mittens, sighing and concealing her frown when she nods. “Hey, Deku? Wanna fight me?”

Her grin says it all. She was listening to them.

“You’re on!” he regains his spirit and springs to his feet. He yanks the zipper down and pulls the thick sleeves from his arms to plop into Shouto’s extended hand, missing how the other boy’s fingers clutch into the fabric gently. Ochako’s attitude mirrors his, and she rips her own jacket off with an exaggerated pop of each snap button.

They walk toward the designated clearing, and both Tsuyu and Tenya sit at either side of Shouto with a looming presence that has him tense, almost agitated by the closeness. “What?” he asks rather than let them continue silently exchanging glances over him.

“I didn’t hear you offering to warm any of us up,” Tsuyu comments, indicating how he’s holding Izuku’s hoodie in his lap, fingers feeling the fabric absentmindedly. He almost apologizes if they’re bothered by it, but Tenya stops him.

“And taking his hand earlier was--”

“That was,” Shouto stops before he can listen to the fact that no one knows how to keep their eyes to themselves, and he sighs. By now, Izuku and Ochako are delivering and blocking kick after punch, their taunts and yells nearly overpowering the others’ voices. “He doesn’t take care of himself. I already knew that, but when I started working with Recovery Girl, I could understand why she got so frustrated with him.”

“Midoriya has that effect on people,” Tenya shrugs, watching the two of his friends let loose in the dirt. “But you don’t look frustrated when you look at him.”

“Usually I’m the one on that receiving end,” he huffs in a semi-smile but almost loses his composure when Izuku and Ochako momentarily abandon sparring formality to start messing around with new moves, the latter telling him his moves are weak. He retaliates by knocking her off her feet in a quick kick from below.

Tsuyu and Tenya exchange a look, wondering if they should pry further about his genuine feelings, but they don’t want to press Shouto to the point where he’ll never act again in fear of them mentioning it. They decide to let the matter go and watch as Ochako and Izuku wrangle their last bouts of energy from one another. By the time they’re sweating, panting messes of ruffled hair and dirty clothes, the sky’s cast down from blues to golds.

Shouto tends to their post-scuffle skin, dealing with Ochako first since hers are easier to identify. He clears her once he’s given her his cooled handkerchief to keep on her forearm and offered her a bandage that she could apply herself. Usually none of this particularly matters, and they aren’t used to holding back as much with quirks and an easy cure available on campus, but no one wants to spend the trip sore.

Izuku readies himself to deny the need for anything, but Shouto’s hand is already on his cheek where she managed to land a hit strong enough to cause swelling. Nervous eyes fixate on the sun setting behind his head, noticing how the orange and pink reflect off his white hairs still trying to keep in a loosened braid over his ear. Quickly, they dart away while his fingers fidget with one another, and he’s soon muttering on about how they should get going soon since the temperature is going to drop even further, despite the fact that he’s sure his skin is burning underneath Shouto’s touch, but he doesn’t dare allow the thought to cross his mind lest the ever-building snowball of his feelings comes tumbling out his mouth.

“Here,” he removes his hand and returns the jacket, nice and toasty as he’d like it. Izuku accepts and shoves his arms into it, zips it up, lifts his hood, and proceeds to tug the draw strings shut to close it around his face as he turns toward the others teasing him about his new look.

“You rather I not say anything.”

“That’s right,” Shouto watches Izuku walk on with the girls at his sides, and Tenya pats his shoulder.

“Even if he feels the same way?”

Shouto sighs, the air visibly leaving his nose in a stream of frost. Despite his best efforts, Izuku struggles to hide his heart anywhere but his sleeve; he recalls when Ochako would get too close, his face would burst in its blush to the point where he had to shelter it behind his arms. Somewhere along the way, those barriers started building around the both of them.

“Especially if he does.”

Tenya’s worry shows through his face; Shouto takes the first step to catch up with the others, and when everyone is regrouped, he advises that they take a bath before heading out again. No one argues with a quick, hot bath on the table, so they try to reach the nearest one before nightfall, gaining on them far too early.

When Shouto takes the wheel, Tenya lists off various tips to the long-term drive despite having passed the role to him back in Ochako’s hometown. Rather than shut him down, he listens to instruction and assures him he won’t immortalize them into a headline. Rest easy, he says; they do, all three bundled in their blankets and pillows after the quick meal prior. Ochako compiles her photos from the day neatly into a folder and starts filtering out the doubles, and most of them use the time to catch up on missed messages throughout the day.

“So how long until we reach the ferry?”

“We should board it sometime around midday if we don’t make any more extra stops.”

“Has everyone contacted their families for the night?” Tenya eyes the clock to make sure it’s still reasonable enough, and he’s met with a mostly unanimous variation of yeah. Shouto glances at his phone, ribbon lighting up across its screen, but he decides to ignore it to avoid a texting-and-driving fiasco. “Do you need one of us to send it for you?”

“No, I took care of it before we left. Probably just a notification about something else.”

“Oh sorry that was probably me! I uploaded a few pictures and tagged us all,” Ochako says as she scrolls through her own feed, but there are no new comments to be seen. He hums in acknowledgement, and she carries on the conversation by switching to the topic of their classmates’ party held back at the dorm for the holidays. One picture in particular has her trapped in a series of snickers, and she shares the sight of Kirishima’s spiked hair being decorated like the class’ Christmas tree with everyone but their driver. Izuku keeps his eye on the time and forces himself to disengage from the sharing once he’s dedicated himself to sleep. It doesn’t take long for the rest to follow his lead.

The clock reads half past ten when Shouto confirms their unconsciousness.

Tsuyu leaves the volume low when she connects her phone to the auxiliary cord, and she sneaks a picture of the three sleeping behind, gracelessly as ever. Otherwise, she watches the roadside from her window and notices the decline in lighting the further they stretch along. She can almost see the temperature drop, and she tries to visualize warmer climates to keep her mind off it.

“You can sleep too, if you need to,” Shouto acknowledges Tsuyu’s yawn, and she waves her hand dismissively.

“It isn’t nice to leave the driver alone,” she tugs her knee to her chest, “besides, I don’t get many chances to talk to you one-on-one.”

“I’m not very good conversation,” he states, but it sounds more like an apology. She nearly hears the word company instead.

“You don’t have to talk a lot to say something worthwhile.”

As if proving his own point, he fails to conjure a proper response and slips into his comfortable silence while she switches the audio to a more calming playlist from her phone. Ordinarily, soft vocals may lull them to sleep, but she can see his thumb’s twitching from copious amounts of caffeine coursing through his system.

Tsuyu breaks the silence after the third song, lyrics already leaving their memory. His right wrist still adorns the bracelet clashing against the beige of his cardigan, and she recalls his fluctuation between dark jackets and soft sweaters. Everyone seems to have their style: Izuku with his hooded jackets, Ochako with her sportier looks, Tenya and his collared shirts, and herself with long layers.

She takes her chances at the cast, reels back, and lets her voice plop onto the current.

“You don’t have a very consistent wardrobe, Todoroki.”

If he didn’t know Tsuyu Asui, he would squint and wonder where the statement came from; however, he answers her observation as if it were a question to satisfy whatever curiosity has suddenly struck her.

“Hand-me-downs.”

So that’s it. Peculiar that a family with immense wealth like theirs would rely on such a frugal method, but practicality governed most of Shouto’s actions to begin with. Something she can understand well-- hook, line, and sinker.

“It’s weird to me,” she glances back at Tenya sleeping soundly with Ochako and Izuku stacked against him like collapsing domino blocks, “you and Tenya are the youngest of your siblings, but I’m the oldest of mine.”

Shouto sneers, “Do we act like it?”

“If I didn’t know, I’d think you were an only child, Todoroki,” she blinks as they pass another streetlight in the darkened highway. A curious hum builds in his throat, but she shakes her head. “No, actually, you do have some little brother tendencies.”

“Such as?”

“You have a messy side,” Tsuyu ribbits, “and you take things as they come but still do your best to stand out. I guess it’s difficult to put into words now that I’m trying.” He glances toward her and blinks back to the road as if absorbing what she’s spoken into the quiet air between them. Both could be accurate; he doesn’t need to tell her the whole story for her to catch onto the complications. Instead, he takes the opportunity to hear more about her and clears his throat.

“What are your younger siblings like?”

“A handful.”

“Big handful?” he remarks and is met with a quick tongue-slap on his shoulder. He apologizes accordingly, and she grins, but it lacks her usual mirth.

“It isn’t their fault,” Tsuyu shakes her head. “Maybe it’s partly mine. I can’t help but worry about them even though I know they’re fine.”

“Do you keep in touch?”

“About every other week,” she taps her phone on her thigh. “Thankfully, I haven’t had to check in so often since my parents changed positions.” Her back eases into the seat behind her as her shoulders slump, and she turns her attention toward the window at her left. Unlike him, she isn’t as secret about her home situation, but it isn’t something she shares smiling. Shouto almost asks if she needs him to turn up the heat, but she permits her thoughts to leave her lips.

“Maybe I’m jealous. I know my parents love us, and I know they wanted us, but I don’t think they wanted to be parents, if that makes sense,” she admits. He knows better than to interrupt someone opening up, so he listens on as the road continues. “It almost feels like now that I had to leave home, they suddenly know how to balance their work to take care of my brother and sister. Neither of them had to take that kind of responsibility.”

The next light passes over, and Shouto catches Fuyumi in its flare as Tsuyu confesses an honesty that she’s kept sheltered away from her siblings’ ears. Shouto wonders if he should be the one to hear it; anyone else could offer her warmer comfort than single nods in chilling car air. He at least helps himself not overwork his left by turning on the heater instead of continuing to debate it.

“Sorry, you didn’t ask about all that,” she turns back to face the front, and he draws himself in an almost bittersweet memory sneaking across his lips in a wry smile.

“Trust me, I’ve been there,” he merges onto the next road and glances at the map, setting it down again in the cupholder after taking note of how long they’ll be on it. When he speaks again, it takes a moment or two for him to fully form the question, and he decides that with Tsuyu, there’s no need to be articulate. “Did they burden you? Your siblings, I mean.”

“They could be annoying and stressful, yeah, but the burden was never their fault. My parents are the ones to blame, even if they never intended to put that stress on me,” she looks down to her lap at her phone, screen lighting up in a late-night notification, and she locks it. “A burden like that is something I’m prepared to take again if I have to, but they’re old enough now to help out, too. At least Samidare.”

Shouto glances toward her with a subtle turn of his head, then eases to a smile and faces the road again on the exhale. Tsuyu ribbits in curiosity, finger rising to her chin as she questions the gesture. He shifts the vent away from himself and shakes his head.

“You sound like a big sister, Asui.”

“Tsuyu,” she corrects, one of the few times to him specifically. “Call me Tsuyu.” He parts his lips, readying hesitation, and closes them. While she wouldn’t take it back, she’s ready to tell him to take his time with it, but his voice returns before her opportunity.

“Then Shouto,” he concedes, and her wide smile spreads from ear to ear.

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

Nemesis: Retribution (2)

Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: MENTIONS OF SMUT FOR THIS CHAPTER. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOURS. (18+ ONLY), polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, mentions of illnesses, momentary fluff, bit of angst care of Bucky, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, rejection, bullying, heartbreak, character death

A/N: I couldn’t resist not posting this early. Here you go. Next ones will probably take a while coz I have to be an actual adult for a bit. 

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

1:2 Dark Chocolate

A few days of rest was required to recover from a super soldier's punch. The doctors had said that you were lucky Steve hadn't punched you with full strength or else you would probably have a whole cracked rib cage. You were anxious to jump back in to training, not used to being idle for very long.

You were given some painkillers at the clinic and ordered to stay there for the rest of the afternoon for monitoring. When you woke up, it was early evening and a blonde super soldier was napping on a steel chair next to your bed. He jumped when you moved to sit up, his heightened senses alarmed and disoriented for a second before he quickly switched to repeatedly apologizing to you. You laughed out loud. It was just a little ridiculous to you to see such a commanding presence in the field so charmingly boyish and adorably embarrassed.

Steve was a comforting presence but to be honest you were hoping to see Bucky. You didn't get a chance to thank him since he left immediately after the doctors had ushered you into the examination room. Once you were cleared to return to training, you caught sight of his long brunette hair and the bright smile on your face couldn't be stopped. It was the glare he pinned you with that made you halt your approach.

He was back to his disapproval of your very existence.

You had to admit that it stung. You thought that you were getting somewhere with him after he helped you. At least somewhere outside of the realm of outward disdain. And maybe you were hoping just a little bit that it could lead down the road to him feeling the same about you.

The timing was perfect when you were assigned to your first official mission with the Avengers. It was a chance to prove your worth to the team and to Bucky in particular. A chance to maybe make him see you as more than just a troublesome recruit.

You came back from the mission with your head held high and absolutely glowing with confidence at the kudos from Sam and Natasha. The great Natasha Romanoff had complimented your sniping skills, picking off enemies in her area even before she could aim her own gun at them.

The first thing you wanted to do after getting back to the Compound was to tell Bucky. You wanted to brag a little bit and maybe even thank him for the mentoring. If he hadn’t been so hard on you then you wouldn’t have pushed yourself to be at this level. You were skipping down the halls of the Compound in search for him, clutching the bullet casing from your first official Avenger kill.

FRIDAY had informed you that he was in the training area and you were bouncing on your feet with excitement. As you entered though the place was empty, the rest of the agents having retired to the mess halls. You ventured further in, trusting FRIDAY’s intel until you heard some noises coming from the adjacent armory. You smiled, he must be cleaning his guns again.

As you got closer, the noise began to get louder until you could make out what was undeniably pleasured moaning, one low and gravelly while the other more high pitched. You should have turned away, if only for the privacy of the couple who was wrapped up in their passion, but your curiosity pushed you to come closer and peak through the small crack in the door.

The brief image that you saw made you instantly draw back, a shaking hand pressed to your mouth to silence the shocked gasp. You backed away slowly, your mind struggling to process what you had just seen, then your flight response kicked in and you ran like hell out of there. The scene was burning a hole in your brain and caused your skin to grow cold. Sergeant Barnes rutting hard against a woman wrapped around his waist, his glinting eyes locked with yours, and a cocky sneer on his face.

You didn’t go to dinner that night or to the team celebration for a successful first mission. You chose instead to lay in your bunk with tears burning in your eyes and trying to erase the memory of your discovery. Of course he was already dating someone. A man of his caliber was sure to have a line-up of gorgeous eager women at his disposal. He probably had no interest in boring recruits like yourself. The woman he was throwing into bliss must be some supermodel or high ranking spy. How did you even end up deluding yourself that you could possibly catch his eye?

The rest of your roommates filtered in after a few hours, chatting away noisily about the party. Anna had come to sit on the edge of your bed and ran a comforting hand along your arm, concern clearly etched on her face.

“I’m fine. Just tired. The mission really wore me out,” you muttered with a small smile. You weren't ready to talk about it yet.

“Personally I think I had better success today than all of you,” Kim’s shrill voice cut through the good natured conversations in the room.

She wasn’t part of the group taken on the mission, claiming beforehand that she was ill. A chorus of curious why’s rang out through the group and she preened at once again being the center of attention.

“Well I just had the fuck of a lifetime from none other than Sergeant James Barnes.”

The room of women burst into chaos; squeals of disbelief, rapid fire questions on how big he was and how good of a lay was he, were they dating now or was this a fuck buddy situation. Of course Kim was more than happy to entertain each question.

You tuned all of it out, the noise turning into an annoying ringing in your ear. You turned around to face the wall as the silent tears that refused to be contained any longer fell to wet your pillow. You barely registered Anna squeezing your shoulder or the words that Kim threw your way.

“Sorry, Y/N. I guess I was just more Bucky’s type.”

You curled yourself into a tighter ball as the pain in your chest radiated across your whole body. You had assumed wrong about Bucky. It seemed that he wasn’t opposed to dating new recruits.

He was just opposed to you.

The taunting from Kim continued on and you just couldn't take it any longer. You brushed the tears away, grabbed your sweater, and marched yourself to the door. You needed to get some air. You needed to get away. Anywhere but there. You wrenched open the door and almost came crashing straight toward a solid chest. Your eyes travelled up to lock with the kind blue gaze of Captain America. You wondered why Steve was standing at the doors of your bunkers holding a pack of beer in his hand.

"Good evening, ladies," he said to the room of now suddenly speechless females. "I'm just going to borrow Y/N for a bit."

The crowd remained in shocked silence while you stared at him in confusion as he smiled sweetly down at you. He had gone looking for you when he didn't see you at the celebration after Natasha and Sam had sang your praises to him at your performance. He wanted to congratulate you and bring you a drink for a job well done.

"Come on. I know a good spot," he said, placing a hand on your back and guiding you out.

Steve brought you to the top of an observatory in the Compound. It was quiet, peaceful, and offered a great view. He cracked open a bottle for you and the conversation just flowed naturally. He kept making you laugh until your sides hurt with stories about his time as a performer in the military and all the unfortunate videos that came with it. You were crying with pure joy when he relented and re-enacted his buy military bonds act, your earlier darkened mood forgotten for the moment.

Steve felt like he did something right when your glassy eyes and defeated expression was replaced with clear amusement. Even if it was at his expense. He wouldn't ask what the reason was, but he felt happy he made you feel better.

"Thank you, Steve," you muttered before you parted ways. Somehow both of you understood that it was more than just for the drink.

You promised yourself then that you would give yourself tonight to weep over your unfortunate romantic feelings. Only for tonight. Come morning you would focus all your energy on what you actually came here to do; become an Avenger. You slept fitfully that night, the shell casing from your first mission still gripped in your hand.

You made a conscious effort after that day to limit your interactions with Bucky and Kim to polite clipped conversations. At first Bucky had been surprised at your change in attitude, your blank expression and sparse words causing a momentary guilt to flash in his eyes. You had chosen instead to spend more time with Steve and the twins, your mood obviously brighter around them.

You were sitting now in a large conference room for a briefing on the next mission with a handful of other recruits when Sam Wilson sent you out to fetch the rest of the Avengers who were running late and not responding.

"Can you get them for me, sweetheart?" he chuckled, knowing that you blushed uncontrollably each time he used a nickname on you.

FRIDAY had directed you to the private common room exclusive for their use. You were about to knock on the door when you heard your name in the middle of what sounded like a heated argument. Against your better judgement, you leaned in closer.

"I don't think Y/N's cut out to be part of this team."

Your heart dropped. The conviction in Bucky's voice was clear. It was one thing for your infatuation with him to be forcefully thrown back at your face, but for him to explicitly state to a set of people that you held at such high esteem that you were not good enough was a whole other vicious heartbreak.

Lily was wrong. This time you should have known when to quit.

You forced yourself to crack the door wider and step inside, clearing your throat to announce your presence. You didn't see the startled look on their faces or the guilty one that followed when they realized that you had heard. One look at your sad glistening eyes that refused to look up confirmed it. Natasha and Steve both threw Bucky a deadly glare.

"Sam wants you all at a briefing. I was sent to come get you."

Your voice was so small and unsteady, none of the easy happiness and optimistic determination that it usually carried. Bucky felt the shame burn through him, the guilt drowning him in an instant. You weren't supposed to hear that. He took a step towards you, instinct driving him to do anything to wipe that defeated look off your face, but a threatening look from the twins pinned him in place.

"We'll walk back with you, little star," Pietro said softly, appearing beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Wanda came on the other side, looping your arm with hers.

For the rest of the briefing, you strained with the effort of focusing on Sam while blatantly ignoring Bucky. You knew he was staring a hole at the back of your head, but you couldn't allow yourself to give him any satisfaction by looking back. You were soon assigned your tasks, you being placed on sniper duty again having performed well the last time.

It was supposed to be a run of the mill mission for intel and taking out a criminal base, but with the expectation of more hostiles so a slightly bigger team was necessary. You practically flew out of the room when you were dismissed, not giving anyone a chance to talk to you. A decision was solid in your mind now for when you got back.

This would be your last mission.

The ride on the jet to the location was spent with you cleaning your gear and checking your weapons. You were sliding a few knives in place when Bucky came in front of you holding out another set of knives for you to take.

"You know if you tilt the hilt to the left you can fit more in one holster," he said.

It was odd hearing him with almost warmth in his tone toward you. If it had happened yesterday, you probably would be celebrating this fact. You nodded at him, but didn't say a word.

"Remember to keep your head low and stay on your post. Okay, doll?"

You nodded wordlessly again. Because you made a point not to look at his face, you missed the way he was struggling to say more to you and the disheartened look when you obviously weren't going to answer him. You ignored him for the rest of the ride, choosing to focus on reviewing the intel.

As far as bad intel could go, this had to be the worst. You were perched up on a densely covered hill a good distance away from the base that the rest of the team were storming. You were picking off as many hostiles coming out of the base as quick as your hands would allow. Your fingers were starting to ache from the constant reloading, your eyes stung from the gunpowder, and your lip was already bleeding from biting down on it.

The noise in the comms was pure mayhem. Each team member trying to ask for help, for backup, for a plan. You had all come expecting a fight but not an army prepared to defend. You were certainly not expecting HYDRA.

"They have Bucky."

Three words spoken that sent a cold dread to wash over all of you. HYDRA couldn't be allowed to take Bucky. You abandoned your post without a second thought and sprinted down toward the base, pistols at the ready for anyone coming your way.

"Last location," you asked urgently as you slipped into the building shooting down two agents immediately.

"West wing. Near the last corridor," Steve grunted, clearly having a hard time on his end. "Y/N, do not engage!"

"I'm the closest one, Cap."

"I'm close too. Just a little busy," Natasha huffed. "I'll follow, Y/N. Steve, we need to get the hell out of here."

Steve had reluctantly agreed, seeing that there was no other choice. He quickly barked orders and commanded you to keep safe. You nodded although he couldn't see it as you wove through the corridors at full speed in search of your teammate. The moment you barged into that last room, your eyes found an unconscious Bucky immediately.

Seeing him in that chair horrified you; shirt ripped, bleeding in several areas, skin pale and cold with sweat, chest rising and falling far too rapidly, and eyes that were unresponsive. You were so distracted by the jarring image that you failed to notice the operatives across the room until the bullets were burning through your soft flesh.

You screamed from the pain, but raised your gun and fired back until you heard their bodies thud heavily on the floor. You clutched at your side, the amount of wet blood pouring out was alarming. You pushed your own welfare aside and hurriedly undid Bucky's restraints. It was a struggle to sit up a semi-conscious super soldier and when you took his weight on your shoulders, you collapsed to the floor at the intense pain in your arm. You hadn't realized that you had multiple shots there too.

You gritted your teeth and groaned at the effort of lifting you both up, your blood soaking through your gear as well as Bucky's. You huffed painfully with each step but you just had to get him out of there. You could have kissed Natasha square in the mouth when you saw her come barreling towards you.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N!" she winced at your state before taking Bucky's other side. Apparently you looked as bad as you felt. "We gotta move fast. I hear more of them coming up this way. This path is clear."

Having Natasha's help in carrying Bucky alleviated some of the burden from you and made you all move faster, but the blood loss was already starting to make your vision blurry and the adrenaline was wearing off. Through the haze, you could also hear the rapidly approaching footsteps. Soon you would be basically useless and you knew there was no way Natasha could carry you both out while fighting off a hoard of enemies.

"Natasha," you said quietly, your steps faltering.

"No. Keep going goddamn it!" Natasha cried.

She knew what you were thinking. She had assessed the situation too and come to the same miserable conclusion. You smiled sadly at her angry eyes and shaking head as you let go of your hold on Bucky. Her eyes widened further as you limped toward the doors behind you and locked them tight before raising your guns to aim right at anyone who would come through them.

She didn't miss how your hands were shaking and your shot arm could barely hold up, the way you scowled deeper in pain with each movement, or how your uniform was soaked in your own blood and slowly forming a pool at your feet. Ghastly as you looked, you turned your head and tossed her another gentle smile. You were basically going to use yourself as a human shield for them and yet you were comforting her. You were reassuring her.

"Check on my sister for me, yeah?"

Natasha wanted to insist on another plan. Anything other than leave you behind to hold off the nearing enemy units. Shouting and gunfire from the other side of the door forced her to make a decision. She cursed sharply under her breath and dragged Bucky away with her, the regret heavy on her heart for having to leave you behind.

You stepped further back and supported your weak body against the wall after Natasha had thankfully left. The enemy was trying their hardest to barge through the door, ramming into it and shooting their guns at the locks. It wouldn't be long now before they manage to breach it.

You took a moment to spare a thought for your sister. A part of you was saddened to think of her grief after she finds out that you had done the most heroic thing anyone could ever do.

Sacrifice.

Another part of you was relieved knowing that she had Jill and she wouldn't be alone in that grief. When you decided this morning that this would be your last mission, you didn't necessarily expect it to be in this way.

"I'm sorry, Lily."

Natasha managed to get Bucky back to the jet where the rest of the team were all converging, still fighting off operatives chasing after them. There just didn't seem to be any end to them.

"I'm going back for Y/N!" she yelled to the team as she dropped Bucky on the floor of the jet. There was no time to be gentle, she had to hurry back to help you out.

"What do you mean? Where the hell is Y/N, Nat?" Steve shouted as he grabbed her arm.

"She stayed behind to hold off the ones chasing us so we could get out. I have to go back!"

"I will go. I can get her out," Pietro volunteered at once but he doubled over immediately from the extensive wounds on his torso.

Natasha was already sprinting back into the compound, not willing to waste another minute. She made it only a few feet before the entire facility exploded into a fiery inferno that quickly ravaged it and threw her farther back.

The entire team watched in horror as the explosions continued on several parts of the structure. The area was quickly getting engulfed by the flames and smoke. Steve had to force everyone onto the jet and bodily carry a shell shocked Natasha.

No one could have possibly survived that.

------------------------------

Natasha steadied her breath as she quietly landed on a perch high above in the rafters of a seedy warehouse. Wanda joined her seconds later, weaving her magic to better cloak them. The other twin was running a lap around the perimeter and would join them later.

She was assigned weird missions all the time. Missions that had very little to doubtful intel was common. This mission though was by far the strangest she's ever gotten. There was a very small list of vague things that were told to them; the time and location, not to intervene, to remain unseen until the target was ready, bring the target to the Compound.

She was slightly annoyed, but she complied anyway. She was curious too as the mission was given in secret to only the three of them. A million questions was speeding through her mind as she observed the activity below. It looked like a regular run of the mill drug den filled with busy workers and roving guards.

"How many, Wanda?" Natasha whispered.

"I sense more than 25 of them. All armed, but with much fear."

A gust of wind signaled the return of the other twin. He had a frown on his face and a concerned look in his eyes. "There is another one, but this one does not seem to be with them."

Natasha was starting to sincerely doubt this mission when a fast movement from the shadows caught her eye. By the way the twins perked up too, they surely had seen it. They followed the figure as it slipped through the darkness, almost losing track if they hadn't noticed that the guards were quickly dwindling in number. Natasha was growing worried, this was surely a highly skilled group of assassins. Pietro must have been mistaken. They were clean and efficient too.

All of a sudden a gunfight broke out below them. A figure completely clad in black, strolled casually out from the shadows with a pistol in each hand firing precisely at their targets. They confidently charged closer, unfazed as they greeted the gunfire. They continued to tear viciously through the crowd with a deadly mix of combat, bullets, and blades. 

The workers had drawn their weapons by now as well, but they were quickly killed off with barbaric aggression. It did not take long for the floor below to become a sea of blood and lifeless bodies. One person remained barely alive, hanging on to his middle to keep his internal organs from spilling out from the wide gash. The attacker came to him, nonchalantly stepping over decimated bodies. They couldn't hear what was exchanged from this distance, only the choked scream that followed as he was stabbed straight through the throat. His blood spurting out like a broken faucet.

Natasha had been in this profession for a while, but she has never seen this level of unrestrained violence.

One person.

One single person had cleared out a base of approximately 30 people. Natasha was growing more and more worried. Clearly this person was at the very least an enhanced and even with the twins with her, they were not prepared to face someone powered.

What kind of bloodthirsty lunatic does this?

"You can come down now."

All three of them froze in place. Looking down, the attacker was staring right at them with cloaked eyes. Reluctantly and very slowly, Wanda used her powers to float them down carefully keeping a good distance from this murderer.

From this close they could now see that they were in full military tactical gear in what was originally all matte black, but now had an explosion of dripping red. Combat boots, fitted cargo pants, a long sleeved shirt underneath a tight bulletproof vest, gloves, a loose hood over their head, and a cloth mask around the lower half of their face.

"Should have known something was up when my team mentioned seeing a really fast man."

The shivers that travelled through every expanse of skin on Natasha, was a reaction to that voice. It sounded strangely familiar yet unknown, but something in her mind was denying her from piecing it together. The moment the hood was dropped to reveal their eyes was when she spiraled into a complete icy shock. They were eyes that had haunted her for the past ten years. Haunted all of them. The only difference was that the eyes in her memories were smiling warmly.

The bloodied face mask was lowered to reveal a face they mourned, unmistakable and yet completely different. White raised scars branched out like weaving vines from the right side of the neck to just above the jaw and the ears. They were obviously old and healed but still raised and prominent, adding an even more dangerous edge to the menacing look on their face.

Your face.

"Hello, Natasha. Pietro. Wanda."

10 years after they had watched you tragically perish in a burning HYDRA facility, you stood before three of a group of people you had unknowingly tormented all these years.

The earpiece you wore crackled to life. "Blackbird to Hedwig. I have a visual. Should I shoot them?"

You smirked. There was no need for that. At least not right now.

"Hey, Blackbird. Tell Raven I'll be late for dinner. I have a reunion to get to."

------------------------------

A/N: Tell me which pairing or combination in this harem you’re most looking forward to. Smut or otherwise. I’m still rearranging scenes and working out smut. There is a long list of kinks. I need help.

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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE EIGHTEEN || SAGE

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood + mention of killing + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 10 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 3

↳ next episode : black flash

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i did cringe a bit writing this episode for some reason ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but also i have been getting a lot of asks in my inbox asking me if you can add me on genshin impact, and i am not opposed to that! just tell me in advance  ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ also volume one of komi can’t communicate came in today! also...the idea i have is coming in soon...so beware.....BUT thank you so much for being so patient with the series and hope you enjoy this special cup of classic black coffee ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Fifty-Four : Haien : 6:08-6:12 (but like it’s more emphasised to look like this : 1:55-2:05)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“Where the hell is Fushiguro, right now?” you muttered under your breath as you swiftly ran around the extremely large building you were currently in right now after trying to run away from Kyoto student: Kamo Noritoshi, who seemed too adamant to catch you for some odd reason.

At this current moment in time, you were desperately trying to find your partner after instantly splitting up with him when you both had entered the building causing you to become concerned for the shikigami user since his opponent didn’t seem to be holding back. Even though in the back of your mind, this was your one and only opportunity to go and find the curse you needed to exorcise for your school team to win the first day of the Exchange Event, you knew that the second that Kamo could sense your curse energy leave the premises, he would turn away from his battle and chase you down leaving Fushiguro the role of trying to locate you - which was going to be difficult for him.

Digging into your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a fist that had a few pink petals that you had kept after you had used some of them to attack Kamo earlier before gradually transferring some of your cursed energy within them. Slowly, you processed to open your palm letting the same blush coloured petals begin to glide into the air allowing them to travel down the hall you were running through right now causing specks of your cursed energy to be located everywhere they moved to lead your opponents to be somewhat confused about where you really were right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Your team partner seemed to be the smart type,” Kamo mentioned as he turned his head to look behind him since he slowly began to sense the chaotic flow of cursed energy that was beginning to vastly surround the building right now as he was quickly struggling to locate the original source of the cursed energy that he needed to find, which was you.

“She’s always been the smart type, it’s quite scary in my opinion,” Fushiguro commented before raising his tonfas in a defensive position before taking the time given to him to try to locate where you were before giving up the second he tried once his discovered how immense your cursed energy was flowing in the building right now.

‘What the hell? How does she do that?’

Hastily, Fushiguro lunged himself forward as he attempted to attack Kamo leading his opponent to block his hit before suddenly retaliating, only for Fushiguro to defend himself quickly as well. However, it seemed as if both sorcerers were not going to give up as easily as a continuous row of attacks commenced between the two causing them to travel backwards and forwards along the hallway they were in right now.

Suddenly, there was a violent contact with the backs of their wrists leading Kamo to proceed to swiftly turn his body to the side of the opposition as he forcibly thrust his palm out towards the shikigami user causing Fushiguro to use his remaining tonfa to block his attack causing his weapon to snap in half as well as him being pushed back to the other side of the hallway where he first stood.

Staring down at the now tattered wooden weapon, Fushiguro casually threw it to the side leading Kamo to begin to spew out with what was currently running through his mind.

“Shikigami users who can fight this well in close combat are precious, you’ve improved. I’m happy,” Kamo expressed with an impressed tone, leading Fushiguro to unexpectedly cringe at the amount of time you had beaten him up during the past two months of training you both had together.

“What is this sense of fellowship you keep throwing out?” Fushiguro asked in an irritated tone since he wasn’t in the mood to converse about anything to do with the clans at this moment in time.

“I’m sympathising, someday you’ll be one of those supporting the major clans, well maybe the four major clans if the L/N remained after the Heian Era,” Kamo suggested, causing the erratic-haired sorcerer to look at the opposition with a deadpan expression painted on his face.

“Gojo doesn’t even support the clans even though she is in the Gojo clan,” Fushiguro reminded Kamo leading to the sorcerer in front of him to shift slightly as if the news to him was surprising at all since it seemed as if you and the strongest sorcerer was ‘close’ despite the joking tension between you both.

“I intend to kill Itadori Yuji,” Kamo suddenly announced, as if that was not known to everyone within the Tokyo team right now.

“On Principal Gakuganji’s orders? So why chase after Gojo?” Fushiguro questioned, as he was still perplexed on why the blood manipulation sorcerer would go after you if his main priority was to eliminate his friend and classmate.

“No, it’s my personal decision. As a member of the Kamo clan, one of the three major clans, I believe that’s the right call,” Kamo answered before going silent, as if he had something in mind currently before he began to voice his opinion once again, “you should be able to understand that, too,”.

“Sorry, but I really don’t get it at all”

Suddenly, Kamo unexpectedly left something lightly slice his cheek slightly causing him to turn to view what was behind him to notice that you were standing there with your armed raised up, leading him to turn back forward to discover your katana piercing the wall that was behind Fushiguro (who looked at you with widened eyes) as your teammate managed to move his head to the side in time before your weapon pierced him instead.

“Oh, I missed,” you commented as you noticed a hint of blood escaping from his small wound, before using your other hand to violently pull the invisible chain of your katana back like a boomerang leading Kamo to swiftly dodge the weapon this time, while being surprised on how you had managed to retrieve your sword back without moving an inch towards it.

“What do you mean? You, me and Fushiguro are the same,” Kamo then declared, causing you to give him an extremely offended look from behind before turning to the side as if to convey to the sorcerer that you weren’t going to listen to him anymore.

“No, we’re not,” Fushiguro replied with an annoyed as well as fed-up expression on his face, as he didn’t expect his opponent to say something as weird as he did right now.

‘He’s spouting some scary stuff all of a sudden...and couldn’t Gojo warn me about this little attack of hers?’

“We are,” Kamo responded, only for Fushiguro to retaliate back leading you to turn your head back to the conversation with a slightly vexed look since you didn’t want such a stupid discussion between two descendants of the three major clans to go on forever like this.

“We’re not, please save those discussions for Maki-san. I no longer have any connection with the Zenin clan,” Fushiguro informed his opponent causing Kamo to turn to you as if you would try to have an understanding of what he was trying to carry out.

“Remember, I don’t actually have any connections to the Gojo clan, I’m not related to them by blood and even if Gojo-sensei adopted me out of the blue,” you explained to Kamo while raising your hands up like you were surrendering when really you were trying to avoid any topic to do with the clans overall.

“Besides, I don’t believe I’m ‘right’. No, sorry. That’s not right, I don’t care if I’m right or wrong,” Fushiguro commented as he looked down towards his raised hand with a softened expression to which caused Kamo to turn back to the shikigami user.

“I just...have faith in my own good conscience, I save people according to my own conscience. If you would reject that, then...we’ll just have to curse each other,” Fushiguro suddenly declared, as a wave of cursed energy began to surround him causing you to sudden be on guard since you didn’t know what your classmate had prepared.

Unexpectedly, a shikigami frog appeared from the side causing you to prepare yourself in an attack stance in case Kamo decided to move towards you, to which he did turn to face you only for the same shikigami to dissolve into the shadow it had come from leading Kamo to open his eyes in shock at the common but smart strategy that the younger sorcerer had come up with.

“This one burns through cursed energy, so I can only use it by itself. I only recently tamed it,” Fushiguro explained before positioning his hands in front of him as he prepared the next shikigami that he was going to summon.

“Max elephant,” the shikigami user announced before the shadow below him began to merge into the shape of a pink elephant leading you to look at the animal with widened eyes as you didn’t expect such a large shikigami to appear right in front of you.

‘What the hell?’ you thought, as the elephant’s cheeks began to swell up while Kamo began to position himself into an attack position. However, it seemed the elephant was going to attack first as a suddenly sprouted out a massive wave of water that could fill up the ocean, causing you to yell out in shock before quickly deciding to stab your katana deeply into the ground to have something to hold on to as Kamo quickly swept into the mass of water leading to the wall behind to break.

“Maybe tell me when you are going to attack, you drag!” you yelled out to your classmate in anger as he rushed next to you causing your partner to look at you weirdly since you were kind of being hypocritical at this current moment in time.

“Just jump across to attack him while I use Nue to corner him!” Fushiguro stated to you in a serious tone, leading you to nod at him before launching yourself forward towards the sorcerer with your katana blade facing the opposite direction it was supposed to since you didn’t want to critically damage your opponent.

Behind you, Fushiguro interlocked his thumbs before fanning out the rest of his finger to represent wings as he swiftly summoned Nue into the battle leading the bird-like creature to strike him with lightning, paralysing Kamo for a second before he suddenly reached into his uniform to slowly reveal a bag of blood to which he then proceeded to throw the object in your direction, causing Nue to bump into you as if to move you away from the item as the blood bag quickly exploded causing the shikigami to be trapped within what seemed to be a rope of blood.

However, you could not let the sudden event faze you as you proceeded to place your foot to the side of the building you were pushed against before thrusting yourself downwards with extreme force to attack Kamo while Fushiguro dashed towards the same opponent to do the same thing.

“I can’t afford to lose!” Kamo screamed as he began to lung forward towards Fushiguro.

Suddenly, a large explosion destructively echoed behind you leading you to reach to the ground with one hand before riskily twisting the same hand to make your body spin before you quickly landed of your feet to the ground causing Fushiguro to look at you with a worried expression before all three of you peered up above to see a vast structure of what seemed to be wood, growing ever to rapidly in the air.

“What is this?” Kamo questioned in a panic before Fushiguro noticed someone running along the tiles rooftop from above.

“Inumaki-senpai?!” Fushguro yelled out in an alarmed tone causing you to look to the side to see your senior classmate running in what seemed to be incomplete adrenaline and fear.

“Run-away!” Inumaki spoke, causing his voice to ring out to everyone as they realised that it was his cursed technique that was occurring right now, causing your bodies to instantly run away from the mass destruction that was occurring right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Huh?” Utahime muttered as she stared at the how red flamed paper talisman while everyone in the room with her peered at them with the same surprised expression.

“The game’s over? And they all burned red?” Utahime questioned as the flames quickly extinguished themselves leading to a large volume of smoke remaining.

“That’s odd, my crows didn’t see anything,” MeiMei commented.

“I’d love to say Great Teacher Gojo’s students exorcised them all, but…” Gojo mentioned as he placed his hands together as if to tell everyone in the room that he was thinking of another solution that might have caused this issue as all the screens in front of them now became static.

“The charms will burn red for unregistered cursed energy,” Principal Yaga informed everyone.

“You think it’s an outsider? Some invader?” Utahime queried, as she turned to her colleague with a concerned expression on her face.

“Does this mean Tengen-sama’s barrier isn’t functioning?” MeiMei then asked, but it wasn’t answered as Principal Gakuganji made a comment. 

“Whether it’s an outsider or not, something unexpected is happening all the same,” he mentioned before wondering how this intruder was able to exorcise the semi-first-grade he had planted in order to assassinate Itadori Yuji.

“I’m going to Tengen-sama, Satoru and Principal Gakuganji, please protect the students. Mei, you stay here and identify the locations of the students, stay in constant contact with the other two,” Principal Yaga instructed everyone.

“Fully understood, I look forward to the bonus,” MeiMei mentioned, as she turned her head towards the sorcerer trying to convey that she was willing to follow his instruction with a price to pay.

“Come on, Gramps! Time for a walk! You just finished your lunch, didn’t you? I don’t want my daughter injured with you being slow!” Gojo stated in a light but playful tone as he clapped his hands twice to get the elder’s attention, leading the mentioned sorcerer to become silent and annoyed at the Six-Eye shaman.

“Let’s hurry!” Utahime mentioned as she was becoming worried about the time they were spending on talking in the room they were in rather than going out right now to help the students that were in trouble.

                                               ꕥ

Running forward, you couldn’t help but notice how the branch that was behind you was still extending leading you to quicken your pace as everyone turned to the right, only for the same branch to twist itself in the same directions causing you to come to the conclusion that it was either a skilled curse user or special-grade curse that was the cause of it.

‘Did the mole tell whoever is doing this the location of the event?’

Although, before you could come to another conclusion on who was the mole within the group of Kyoto students, you suddenly heard Fushiguro gasp leading you to snap out of your thinking daze to see a large number of branches breaking through the wooden door that was in front of you leading to a vast volume of debris to rushingly come towards you to which caused you to over your face, allowing the veil that was processing to drip down above you to engulf every student at this current moment in time.

Once the huge mass of debris cleared itself, you noticed the change in colour around you before you turned your head towards the mass of branches in front of you with what seemed to be a curse standing on top of its masterpiece as if to showcase its sudden appearance.

“Why is there a cursed spirit at Jujutsu Tech? Who does this veil belong to?” Kamo asked rapidly, as his head was tilted up to view the intruder in front of him.

“Probably the curse user working with the cursed spirit,” Fushiguro answered, as he too was looking at the curse in front of him leading Kamo to question his knowledge about the situation in hand, while Inumaki let out a cough, causing you to worry about his condition right now since you didn’t have a single clue on how much he had used his voice in the current situation.

“There are a few unregistered special-grade cursed spirits roaming around Japan right now, probably this one was the one that attacked Gojo-sensei before,” you informed the sorcerers in front of you as you slowly began to remember the silly little drawing your adoptive father had given you when you first met with the Kyoto side’s principal.

“Tuna with mayo,” Inumaki commented as he waved a hand to signal a phone leading Fushiguro to agree with his upperclassmen as he proceeded to pull out his phone to contact Gojo, while Kamo commented on how Fushiguro could understand his classmate at all since he was still perplexed on how the Toyko students could even convey with him as well.

‘Why does it only look at me…?’

Yet, it seems as if you weren’t concentrating on their little conversation as you kept an eye on the curse since it seemed to be staring at you for some odd reason, leading you to tightly grip the hilt of your katana, as you now shifted your eyes down to make sure your fellow sorcerers (who were in front of you right now) were safe for the time being.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Fushiguro mentioned, as he placed his phone to his ear. “Maintain our distance and retreat to Gojo-sensei- '' Fushiguro then explained, but before he could finish his sentence, the curse swiftly moved behind Kamo before proceeding to break Fushiguro’s device from his hand.

“Don’t move!” Inumaki yelled out, leading to the curse freezing in its position before attacking Kamo, leading everyone to keep a distance away from the special-grade curse.

Suddenly, Kamo grabbed another bag of blood that he kept hidden within his uniform before letting it explode once again as he began to maintain control of the red substance. “Blood Manipulation: Slicing Exorcism!” Kamo yelled out before swinging the blood shaped shuriken towards your opponent, only for the curse to be left unscathed leaving the sorcerer to be surprised at the outcome.

Before the curse could even react, Nue suddenly appeared above you before flying downwards towards the special-grade curse with the same purple lightning you have gotten used to before Fushiguro suddenly swept in close to slash the curse with a sword he was hiding within his shadow like you had taught him to within the first week of training. However, it seemed that the katana’s dent that was made only healed as quickly as it appeared causing Fushiguro to tut in complete annoyance.

“.nerdlihc hsiloof, ti potS,”

“Stop it, foolish children,” the curse suddenly said, causing you to grab your head in surprise as you didn’t expect the curse that was in front of you right now to communicate to you at all since you didn’t have a clue on what it was saying but you somehow could understand it.

“I merely wish to protect this planet, that’s all,” the curse then explained, causing you to prepare your cursed energy to flow from your hand to your katana since you now knew that you needed to use your cursed technique to keep the others safe - yet you didn’t know how you could conceal the risk of being discovered.

“It’s a curse spouting nonsense! Don’t listen!” Kamo exclaimed intensely.

“This is on a whole different level than lower-grade cursed spirits,” Fushiguro then commented to Kamo as if it was obvious enough to everyone that was around that opponent at this current moment in time.

“The forests, the oceans, and the sky, all weep so vehemently that I can no longer stand it. It’s impossible to coexist with humans any longer. They know there are some humans who are kind to the planet, but how much does their affection even help?” the curse declared as it raised its head up to the sky as if it was speaking to a whole nation.

‘It somehow established its own language system...and somehow manages to communicate with us…’

“All they desire is time. This planet can shine blue once more, given a bit of time,” the curse spoke again before a sudden twist of branches appeared right behind the curse leading everyone that was in front of it to be on guard as the sudden impact that caused the ground to shake was evident enough on how dangerous this opponent was.

“Gojo Y/N...You can’t run, the veil is designed to keep you trapped within here...We need you for what is going to commence,” the curse suddenly declared causing you to look at it with wide eyes while all the boys turned to you with panicked expression painted on their faces since they were now concerned with your safety more right now than theirs.

‘I don’t know how long this curse spell will last, but I need to make sure it is enough to let everyone run before it can reach them’

“Is that so? Ah..what a drag,” you then asked, as you raised your katana up in the air with one hand as you gradually began to transfer a large amount of cursed energy within the blade. “You see, I began to notice that you seem to be a plant type of curse, I assume...something like wood right?” you rhetorically asked, before using your other hand to cover your mouth with the back of it to conceal the next few words that were going to come out of your mouth.

“Destructive Curse Spell number fifty-four: Haien,” you whispered before a sudden flame began to engulf the metal blade leading the boy to look at your weapon in astonishment at how wild the flames seemed to be due to the amount of cursed energy you had placed within the same blade. “So...why don’t you just burn to death them, would you?” you threatened in a low tone causing the boys to dash behind you before you swung your katana downwards to allow the flames to wildly and uncontrollably burst out in front of the special-grade curse leading to the building behind it to begin slowly extinguishing with the massive flames.

Turning around, you grabbed the fabric of Fushiguro’s and Inuamki’s uniforms (while yelling at Kamo to run) before using your strength as well as a hint of your cursed energy to violently push them forward away from the flames before running towards the same direction with them since this was the perfect opportunity to make a dash for it without any of the boys getting injured or harm in the process.

‘Whoever is responsible for the veil...is going to die..’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Writing smut without cringing the whole time? How do you do it.

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW RELATED CONTENT BELOW.

The short answer, nonnie, is: you don’t. 

That is to say, writing smut is always kind of cringe—especially if you’re new to it, or simply “not in the mood” to write. 

But rest assured, feeling embarrassed is completely natural. The trick is learning how to overcome the cringe when it does happen, instead of letting it deter you.

I’m going to break this up into a few sections: 1) Why you might be feeling this way, 2) How I, personally, combat the issue, and 3) Some more tips that might help you get the ball rolling.

1. Why You “Cringe”

It’s important to find the root cause of any form of writer’s block so you can pull the weed out instead of just trimming it back. Smut writer’s block is its own special brand, and generally, the main issue writers have when it comes to smut is stigma.

Speaking openly and honestly about sex, in Western society, is still very much a taboo.

No matter how “progressive” we like to think we are, the inherent shame surrounding pleasure-seeking experiences, and the detailing/consumption of them, has been ground into us since we learned how to understand the concept of gratification.

And I’m not just talking about sexual gratification. This applies to everyday things, as well. Eating, shopping, relaxing (or doing virtually anything in capitalist society that does not directly contribute to capitalism).

So it makes sense that you would feel any amount of embarrassment, awkwardness, or “cringe” when writing smut. It’s something our society teaches us is wrong to want. Unfortunately, that shame translates to writer’s block when we sit down in front of the computer.

A lot of this blockage might stem from not giving ourselves permission to write the thing.

We’re staring at the blank document, knowing we want to write smut, and suddenly the thoughts start streaming in: This feels wrong, is this wrong? What if someone comes in and looks over my shoulder while I’m writing? Am I describing this right? Is this too unrealistic? I have NO idea what I’m doing, and everyone is going to know it.

These are all perfectly normal thoughts, and definitely ones I still have from time to time. But they’re also probably the direct cause of why you feel so blocked. Luckily, I have some bits of advice to give you on how to unblock yourself.

2. How I Combat Smut Block

✦ First, when the intrusive thoughts occur, instead of ruminating on them, think of each one as an impermanent object. You can use any metaphor, but I like to use the imagery of leaves:

Each negative thought is a leaf floating down the river of your mind. If you focus only on the leaf, you’ll exert a lot of energy running to try and keep up with it, consequently miss everything else around you. But if you acknowledge that leaf as a temporary part of the scenery, and let is pass, you can process and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings a whole lot better.

Remember: you are separate from your thoughts. You are not defined by them. The things you think sound stupid might be incredibly exciting to someone else. 

If you can string a sentence together, you can write smut. This is all part of giving yourself permission to write the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

✦ Second, I’d suggest giving good thought to how you personally experience embarrassment, how you experience excitement (of the sexual variety), and how those two might sometimes commingle or feel similar.

For me, they are very comparable, like different shades of the same emotion—but there are differences which are important to note. 

If I’m making myself blush from excitement, this is a very good thing for writing smut. It means that what I’m writing feels real enough to evoke something in the reader, even if the reader, like me, knows what’s going to happen.

If I’m making myself cringe, however, it may be time to take a step back and readjust my perspective.

✦ Third, ease yourself into it! Don’t jump straight in the deep end and expect to know how to keep your head above water if you’ve never swum before.

The way I eased myself into smut was first by writing “Steam”—a category of fic I made up because the current vocabulary lacked an efficient term for fics that straddled emotional romance and explicit content. 

Essentially, steam is smut-adjacent but not explicit, and here’s a step-by-step example of how I transitioned myself smoothly from one genre to the next:

I first wrote my fics Wicked Game and You Are (both of which feature either a heavy make out session or teasing + lots of sexual tension) with this “steam” concept in mind.

I wrote the first chapter of Fine Line, which has brief but explicit descriptions of fantasies, framed by a very sexually charged scene.

I released my fic Crashing, which is probably more of a bridge between Steam and Smut, and features soft-focus fingering. Nothing in it is explicit—it focuses more on the emotions than explicit detail—but it’s very clear what is happening.

After I wrote those, I felt just confident enough to make that final stride over the threshold into smut. I wrote my fics Holy, King, and the second chapter of Fine Line all within weeks of each other.

And trust me when I say, once you get the momentum going and receive that validation from people who’ve read your work, it becomes SO much easier to sit down and start writing. 

You just have to finish that first piece.

✦ Finally (and I know I’m going to sound cliche when I say this), just like any other skill, the more you practice the more confident you will feel and the better you will get. 

So practice, practice, practice! 

If you’re nervous about posting smut for the first time, have a trusted friend/mutual Beta read it for you. It’s the online equivalent to someone holding your hand before jumping off the cliff, and works wonders for the nerves.

3. Keep The Smut Rolling

Now that you have some tools to help get you past the blockage of writing smut, here’s how to keep the inspiration flowing.

✦ Start by incorporating smutty fanfiction/erotic fiction into your regular reading rotation- 

Of course AO3 is a fantastic resource for smutty fanfiction. 

If you’re a fan of TFOTA or ACOTAR and want some of my personal fic recs, visit my fic rec masterlist.

In terms of erotic fiction, my personal favourites are anything Anais Nin (specifically Henry & June and Delta of Venus), The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone, The Godwicks series by Tiffany Reisz, and The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz.

There are also sites like Literotica and sexstories.com, which play host to explicit short fiction (not fandom based).

✦ Next, I’d recommend having a designated digital space for smutspiration- 

This can be a list of “smutty” words/phrases kept on a separate document on your computer, for those days when you just can’t think of the right way to describe something. 

Or you can create a private side-blog or Pinterest board for your favourite smutty fanart or other kinds of visual smutspiration.

✦ For that matter, try following some smutty/18+ blogs (ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) here on Tumblr-

Many of them have a plethora of what I like to call “lemony snippets”, a.k.a. short text posts that describe (usually in conversational language) explicit scenarios. 

This is useful because it will normalise the concept of sexual fantasies in your brain, making it less weird for you when you try to come up with ones of your own to write into smut. 

Not to mention, your dash will be rife with inspiration.

✦ I would also suggest checking out 18+ ASMR on YouTube (AGAIN, ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+). 

My favourite account is Professor Cal Official, but Auralescent also has some good content. 

Headphones are highly advisable for this, as their stuff is very dangerous for work.

So, nonnie, I hope this has provided you with at least one helpful tip. Whether you took anything away from this or not, just know that the feelings of embarrassment when it comes to writing smut are entirely normal. And the best way to keep those feelings at bay is to confront them head on. 

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist

2K Celebration!

[mrkcore]

𝐄𝐏 𝟏: 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓 - 𝐥.𝐡𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lee donghyuck x fem!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: college!au (cs - computer science major haechan, psychology major y/n)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, slight angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): suggestive innuendo(s), infidelity, drinking

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

𝐚/𝐧: the first chapter of the and they were roommates! series :D send in an ask or comment here to be added to the taglist! (sorry for the delay, i have been really unproductive so uh, yeah)

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

you’ve been stuck with haechan for about a month. you’ve successfully avoided him for the majority of the time, he’s still a bit flirty, but he’s been pretty quiet too.

except for when he streams. did he mention that he was a streamer? unfortunately no, you had to find out the hard way.

“haechan, can you fucking tone it down?” you storm into his room after enduring half an hour of his screaming on a thursday night. “i have an essay due tomorrow and it’s 30 percent of my mar-”

you see a professional looking mic, webcam, and another monitor with what seems like comments flowing in constantly on the screen.

“oh…” you trail off taking in all the equipment in front of you as haechan looks up at you.

“oh hey, sorry about that, jeno and renjun were being noobs and i needed to teach them a lesson, chat knows. i’ll keep it down, sorry.” he turns back to his game in front of him, completely unbothered.

“yeah.. uh sorry for barging in, thanks.” you say quickly and dash out his room, hearing the other voices from his headset laugh.

your face is hot, and you feel so embarrassed. 

anyways, lesson learned.

a few days later, you were complaining to your friend about haechan on a zoom call–as usual.

this time, however, she needed to spill the tea about her thoughts.

“ma’am, what is this tension,” she jokes. “i can feel it from miles away.”

“hey!” you snap back. “need i remind you that i have a boyfriend? and haechan? ew no, he gets on my nerves too much for that.”

“oh right, your boyfriend.” she rolls her eyes.  “i think you need to visit him, you’re so uptight all the time, i’m gonna get wrinkles if you keep complaining to me about shit.”

“oh right, restrictions have been slightly lifted, i can probably go visit him.” you remember reading about it in the news.

“yep, go.” your friend sips on her iced coffee and you laugh.

the next day, you go through with your plan to go visit your boyfriend.

all prepped and ready and you were going to walk out the door before you hear haechan coming out his room.

“oh, good morning, i’ll be out for a bit, maybe the whole day.” you say to him.

“good morning.” he yawns. “look at you all dolled up and pretty, where you going?” he smirks as you roll your eyes.

“visiting my boyfriend,” you scowl out. “now if you’ll excuse me, i better get going.”

“oh great, hope you enjoy your time with him.” he smiles and you think he’s going to be nice for once. “don’t forget protection.”

you groan. of course he had to ruin it.

“thanks haechan.” you yell behind you as you walk out the door.

it takes around 1 hour to drive to your boyfriend’s university, and an additional 10 minutes to his apartment, and you’re giddy the whole time. 

you’ve missed human interaction. 

and no, lee haechan does not count. 

you’ve missed the warmth and fuzzy feeling of an embrace, of having someone’s arms around you, protecting you from the outside world. 

you couldn’t wait to get cuddles.

hopefully your boyfriend likes this surprise.

gleefully walking into the building, pressing in the password to his apartment complex. completely missing the creaking coming from his room, but as you entered, you hear the voice of another person, who was definitely not your boyfriend.

you stomp right up to the door, and push it open.

there’s two people in the bed, and your eyes glower at your boyfriend.

“what?” the girl screams, scrambling to cover herself.

“babe?” your boyfriend is frozen on the spot as the girl looks at him as if he just said the most bizarre thing ever.

“babe?” she seems angry now. “you said you were single? what the fuck?”

“yeah, i think he lied to you.” you say coldly. “do you have anything to confess, ‘babe’?”

“you’re a douche, what the fuck.” she gets up and gets dressed. “i’m so sorry, he told me he was available, i would literally never agree to sleep with anyone who’s taken.”

“yeah, it’s okay.” you say, kind of relieved, and the two stare are you like you’re an alien. “at least now i know what type of person i was dating.”

and you turn to walk out.

“wait, babe please.” your ex tries to run after you. “y/n, let me explain.”

“no need to, we’re over.” you turn to say. “you need a ride?” you ask the girl.

“yeah sure.” she says. “don’t call me.”  

“babe please, can we talk this out?”

you couldn’t believe it. you drove 1 hour to see him and he has the audacity to pull this shit and expect you to just easily forgive? nope, lesson learned.

pfft, and he said long distance would work. 

“no we can’t, now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere else to be.” you grab the girls arm and walk out the door, slamming it in front of your ex’s face before he can catch up.

“do you have any plans for the rest of today?” you ask the girl after entering your car. she shakes her head while you smile. “great, any bar or night club recommendations you have?”

“uhh, bar then nightclub?” she suggests. 

“i like the way you think.” you giggle. “i’m y/n btw.”

“yina.” she smiles back at you as you pull out of the parking lot. 

a few hours later, and way too many drinks in, you’re at a table with yina, spilling your deepest secrets about your relationship with your ex.

“can you believe he made me wash his socks?” you take a sip before continuing. “and with my hands too!”

“what? that’s disgusting!” she listens to you rant in disbelief.

“yeah, he said that his socks were precious and the washing machine was too harsh on the cotton or some crap.” you snicker as you recall the other stupid stuff he told you. “ah the shit i did for love.”

“men are trash,” yina says. “cheers to that.” and you both down the rest of what’s left of your drink.

fast forward another 2 hours, you’re wasted. absolutely wasted. 

yina held you back a little bit, but its no use. you needed this.

“y/n, it’s like 11 pm, you’re drunk, i’m barely sober, i think we should call someone to come and get us.” yina tries to reason with you while you shake your head.

finally after 10 minutes of bickering, you finally agree.

“here’s my phone, you can call anyone.” you rest your head on your folded hands after handing her your unlocked phone. “anyone but haechan.” you start to doze off. “anyone but haechan…”

“hbbhng” you jolt up, feeling the warmth of your own bed. 

how did you get back home?

groaning, you feel your headache. you feel the vomit coming up your throat as you gag.

you almost fall trying to get out of your covers.

“woah there, be careful.” haechan is suddenly barging into your room, holding onto you so you don’t fall on your face, guiding you to your bathroom.

you’re too nauseous to wonder why he’s even helping you or even bother screaming at him like usual.

he pats your back soothingly as you vomit into the toilet.

“there you go, that’s it. i’ve got you.” he reassures you.

“what are you even doing helping me?” you’ve washed up and downed some water, you’re 100% sober now.

“wow,” haechan chuckles, rolling his eyes. “after saving your ass last night, this is the thank you i get?”

“what do you mean you saved me?” you’re genuinely confused by what he means.

“this yina girl called me from your phone, telling me that you’re blacked out drunk in a nightclub at 11:32 PM, on a saturday. asking me to come and get you.” he says, matter-of-factly. “i call a cab, get to the nightclub, haul your ass out the club, drive yina back home, and then us. where during our commute back, you wake up, start crying, and when we get home, you’re bawling about how your boyfriend cheated and you were a dumbass for thinking he would change. remember now?”

you’re in shock.

yina called haechan? you remember clearly that you told her not to, this is so embarrassing. you even cried about your ex to him? oh dear lord you wanted to crawl back into your room into a deep pit and never come out. 

haechan must’ve noticed your distressed expression because his face turns softer.

“hey hey hey, sorry, that was a bit mean. you just got out of a relationship, that was really inappropriate of me and i do not blame you for wanting to relax a bit.” he tries to comfort you once again. you’re in even more shock by his words. “honestly, me driving you back home, and taking care of you was the least i could do. it would have been so mean if i just left you guys there.”

you wanted to burst out into tears. 

this is the nicest thing you’ve heard in about 6 months.

unfortunately, haechan doesn’t know that.

“oh gosh, jheez, i’m not helping aren’t i.” he’s panicked by your emotional state. “uhm, to make it up to you, i’ll watch one of those scary movies with you?”

your tears instantly are sucked back into your eyes in excitement.

“really?” you ask, just making sure.

“yep, ahaha.” he laughs nervously, but happy to see your mood lighten up.

“you free tonight?” bouncing up and down practically.

“yeah…” haechan is a bit scared. “aren’t you going a bit too fast though, princess? you jut got out of a relationship.”

you gasp and slap him in the arm.

“okay okay! that was a joke. yeah i’m free, i have an essay due, but i’ll be done by 6.” haechan says.

“sounds good!” you b-line for the kitchen, your stomach is completely empty. “see you then haechan!”

oh how haechan regrets his offer.

6 o’clock rolls by, and you choose “the shining” to watch with haechan. anticipating the terror it would bring him. 

and you were right.

every jumpscare, even the smallest sounds, haechan would screech in fright. the last straw for him was the knock on your door.

“AHHHH!” he screams, almost knocking the popcorn out of your hands.

“calm down, dude.” you say, standing up to open the door.

to the unfortunate sight of your ex.

“y/n?” he says, softly.

“what are you doing here? how did you find out where i lived?” you were very sure you never gave him your dorm address.

“your friend gave it to me,” the eye bags he has are very evident. “listen, can we talk?”

“no?” haechan suddenly butts into the conversation. “you literally cheated on her, she doesn’t owe you anything.”

“who are you? her rebound?” your ex frowns. 

“her roommate, and if you even bothered to keep up with y/n, you’d know.” haechan returns the frown.

“it’s between me and y/n, you have no business telling us what to do.” your ex is getting more aggressive now.

“that’s funny, i was the one who was called to drive her home while she was out drunk, i was the one who listened to her talk about how she regretted believing you again, i was the one who held her hair back when she was vomiting this morning from her hangover.” haechan again returns the energy. “you tried to contact her, but she blocked your number and you had to get her address from her friend. you never even cared to ask her beforehand, and now you wanna try and show up to seem like you care? bullshit. now if you’ll excuse us now, we have a movie to finish.” he slams the door in his face and haechan surprises you for the millionth time today.

your ex bangs on the door for about 3 minutes before giving up, and you guys sit in silence as the movie still plays.

“hey haechan.” you try and start.

“AHHH!” he screams again, scaring you this time.

“JHEEZ BRO I WAS TRYING TO START A CONVO, CHILL OUT.” you scream back.

“okay, i’m fine, yeah sorry, continue.” haechan pants out.

“thanks for that.” you say, genuinely. “not even joking, you didn’t have to do that.”

“well i did, because that dude was a douche. literally having the guts to come over here and try and ask for forgiveness after he cheats. unbelievable.”

“yeah.” you fiddle with your fingers anxiously.

“i like this side of you,” haechan breaks the awkwardness. “you’re usually uptight, little-miss-perfect, and cranky, so i like this raw side of you.”

“mhm, i realized that now. sorry for being such a bitch.” you admit.

“no, i honestly deserve it. but i hope we can be friends now, it would be great to have real conversations with someone, you know?” he says.

“seriously?” you hit him in the chest as he chuckles.

“i’m joking! i swear. but seriously, friends?” he asks.

“yeah, friends.” 

and that’s where it started.

© mrkcore. 2021.

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Another One (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello! Pre-Civil War (but getting much closer). Inspired by Sam Smith’s “Another One”. Let me know your thoughts! Also, I do have the next part done as it was the first one I wrote a while ago, would you all be interested in me posting it earlier or should I save it for usual post time on its own day?

Summary: A look at the aftermath of heartbreak and the first interaction with Wanda following the incident.  Good old fashioned angst.

“Congratulations, you found the one, another one. I think I can finally face it, I’m not the one, never was the one.”

The sunlight that slowly began seeping into your room came as no surprise. You sat up with a sigh. Sleepless nights were more common than not these days, not that sleeping was easy before, it’s just been much more difficult to put your mind at ease lately. It had been a few weeks and the adjustment hadn’t been easy. 

Dealing with a heartbreak never got easier. 

Figuring there was no point in staying in bed, you got dressed in your usual training attire and headed down to the kitchen. Maybe you would finally take Steve up on his offer of an early morning run.

A quiet curse escaped your lips when you saw a lone figure sitting at the counter already. The one person you’ve been avoiding. As quietly as you could, you slowly began to back out, hoping you hadn’t been seen yet. “Hi, Y/n.” the figure said quietly, not turning to face you. You’d been caught.

The sound of her voice still hurt, but you knew you had to face it eventually. Might as well be now. “Wanda.” You replied flatly as you once again began to walk into the kitchen to make coffee. All the while trying to ignore the way your heart pounded heavily against your ribcage. 

You didn’t look at her long, but long enough to see the look of surprise cross her features when you responded. 

She cleared her throat which caused you to turn to glance at her again, taking note of how she spun a ring on her finger nervously. You wondered if she did that before meeting you. “Do you think we could talk?” she stuttered timidly. 

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you leaned against the counter behind you. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The way that her eyes filled with sadness made you want to take her in your arms and hold her until they shone with happiness again. You fought the urge. “I miss you-“ She began anyway.

You quickly interrupted her. “Don’t.”

A hint of desperation slipped into her words as you tried to block them out. “I do though. We were best friends before everything. I don’t want to lose you completely.”

It took everything in your being to not cover your ears and scream like a child so you wouldn’t have to listen to her words. All each word accomplished  was cutting deeper into your still bleeding wounds. “You moved on immediately, Wanda. You can’t just expect me to be okay and accept second best after that.”

Her head dropped. “I know, but I just… You were never…” her words were jittery, as if she thought better of each sentence. Conflict was clear in her eyes. “I never thought of you as-”  

“You’re with Vision now, yes?” You asked seemingly randomly. She bit her lip apprehensively but nodded nonetheless. “How do you feel about him?”

A small shake of her head was your only response from her. “You wanted to talk, I’m talking. I think I deserve a little honesty.” 

“We have a connection, I feel like he understands me.” You bit back a bitter laugh because once upon a time you would’ve described your relationship the same way. “I think we are meant to be intertwined because of how we developed.”

“Well, congratulations, Wanda. You found the one.” You couldn’t help the sarcasm that laced your words. “Another one.” You mumbled as an afterthought. 

She just stared at you for a moment, her lips trembling. You pretended you didn’t see the way her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Y/n-“

Already over the conversation, you interrupted her. “Honestly, I’m happy for you. I’d never, ever, wish you harm. Just make sure you treat him like someone. I wouldn’t want someone else to feel how I’ve felt the last few weeks.” You told her honestly. 

It looked as though she was about to say something else when Vision phased through the wall, starling you both as he looked between you. “Am I interrupting something?” he questioned.

You wanted to laugh at the sheer irony of his words because it wasn’t long ago that you were the one asking that same exact question. “Not at all.” You huffed as you started to walk out the kitchen, your coffee long forgotten. 

You chanced one last glance at Wanda who simply looked down and leaned into Vision. “Wow, I dodged a bullet.” You muttered with a bitter laugh as you exited, not sparing either of them another moment.

Deciding you didn’t need to go with Steve anymore, you quickened your pace as you left the compound, taking off in what was almost a sprint as soon as the fresh air hit your face. 

Flashbacks of moments with Wanda kept racing through your mind, making you want to scream. Each time this happened you just quickened your pace. You hoped that maybe running from your thoughts would work just this once (it didn’t). 

You must have been running for over an hour when the sounds of heavy footsteps approached, “On your left!” With a groan you came to a halt as Steve sprinted passed you, looking back in confusion. “Giving up so easily, Y/ln?”

Without a word you walked over to a grassy area of the park and rolled onto your back, flinging your arm over your eyes. “Not in the mood today, Rogers.”

You felt him take a seat next to you, staying silent for a moment as he just observed you. “Wanda again?” he questioned gently. 

The arm over your face shifted so you could meet his worried eyes. “I spoke to her today.”

It was clear he was surprised, but tried to mask it. “It’s been weeks. How’d that go?”

“Not well. She basically told me she wants to be my friend again and how her and Vision are meant to be.” Your defenses fell around Steve and you couldn’t contain it anymore. A tear fell down your cheek and you shook your head angrily at yourself. “Why am I crying? I shouldn’t be crying.” 

“Hey,” Steve said, his voice gentle. “You have every right to feel like this okay. You didn’t deserve what she did. Just take it one day at a time, okay?”

At his words, the tears began flowing more steadily. “That’s what I used to tell her.” You said with a laugh, your heart clenching. 

He slapped a hand to his forehead at his poor choice of words. “Alright. No more moping. We’re going to take your mind off this.” Without warning, he picked you up and began jogging back in the direction of the tower.

“Rogers!” you shouted, pounding on his back. “What the hell? Put me down, right now!”

Despite your words, Steve kept jogging, laughter in his voice. “No, I don’t think I will.”

After a few hours of Steve’s idea of a distraction (which was just hours of extra intense training) F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice came on over the speakers. “Ms. Y/ln, you have a phone call.” 

“Patch them through.” You answered as you wiped the sweat off your brow with a towel that Steve offered you. He gestured that he was going to be back, and you merely nodded back at him. 

There was static for a moment until an all too familiar voice sounded. “Y/n, I was hoping you had a moment.” Nick Fury began formally.

You took a deep breath, Fury rarely ever called. This must be serious. “Go ahead.” You replied.

                                             _______________

“Okay, repeat that back to me because I feel like I’m imagining this.” Steve told you, the look of disbelief from when you first told him the news still present as ever.

You shrugged. “Fury wants me to help run an undercover mission to get victims out of several Hydra facilities and aid in their adjustment with training once they’re out if they need it. Similarly to how I got here. Then possibly help establish a branch overseas like what we have here.”

“How long would you be there?” Steve questioned seriously.

Again, you shrugged. “Fury said it could take a year or two. Possibly indefinitely.”

Heavy silence hung in the air between you as Steve took in your words. “Are you going to take it?” he finally asked.

For a moment, you didn’t want to answer, but you knew you couldn’t avoid telling him. “I think I am.” You finally replied quietly. “I think I’ve fulfilled my purpose here, Cap. Maybe it’s time to start a new chapter.”

Steve understood he couldn’t argue. If leaving meant you could finally heal then he wouldn't stop you. No matter how much he’d rather you stay. “Just consider all your options is all I ask.” You simply nodded and tried to offer a reassuring smile. 

As you were both exiting the training area you crossed paths with Wanda and Sam who were entering for a different training session. She met your eyes and offered you a small wave. You nodded in response, searching her eyes. Searching for something that you knew you might never find again. Her brow furrowed questioningly as she sensed you analyzing her. You finally tore your gaze away, silent understanding between you two was a thing of the past now. 

“You okay?” Steve asked with a frown of concern once you were both far enough away.

Hesitantly, you nodded. “I think I’m ready to face it… I’m not the one.” Your words were steady. The tone of acceptance.

“Y/n-“ 

You shook your head. “I never was the one.” You said in a neutral voice, trying to ignore the tears welling in your eyes.

“You just made your mind up, didn’t you?” Steve questioned quietly, knowing the answer but needing to ask either way.

A weak smile covered your lips. “I think that I’ve been offered different chances for what I need in life. You offered me a hand to save me from drowning before and I took it. I think this opportunity is the hand that’s going to keep me afloat. To get me through this broken heart. I need to take it.” 

For a moment you thought back to the conversation you had with Wanda once on the roof. The conversation that opened your heart to her and revealed your scars. The true beginning of something beautiful. That moment was a thing of your past now, just as she was. Maybe it was time to let go. Time to try and stay afloat once again. After all, there was nothing else left for you to fight for here.

And there is part 6! The paths are beginning to take form. As always, hope you all enjoyed and remember thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

[fanficshiddles]

Tear You To Pieces, Chapter 2

Kelly was busy minding her own business in the kitchen, making some tea and coffee for herself and the team before they were due out on a mission.

She took a step back and gasped as she bumped into something, or rather someone solid behind her. Spinning around quickly her eyes went wide when she saw Loki towering over her.

‘Oh, Loki! I’m so sorry. I should look where I’m going, I’m really sorry.’ She babbled quickly.

Loki smiled softly and put his hand on her upper arm. ‘Relax, Kelly. No harm done, I should have announced my arrival instead of startling you.’ He said, his voice so soothing, flowing through her veins warmly.

Whilst Kelly barely registered what he said with that voice of his, she was very aware of his hand still on her arm. He had never touched her before, he never touched anyone, come to think of it. His hand was so big, but his hold was surprisingly gentle and warming.

‘Do uh… Do you want some tea?’ She asked, trying not to get lost in his beautiful eyes as he gazed down at her with a fondness she had never seen before.

‘If it’s not too much bother, that would be lovely.’ He smiled widely and let go of her arm. She found herself missing his touch already.

‘No, no bother at all, for you.’ Her eyes widened when she realised what she had let slip. ‘I mean, I’m making anyway, it’s no bother at all to make for you too....’

Kelly turned around quickly to hide the flush that was creeping up over her face. She felt like she had been thrown into a furnace, but she did her best to focus on the task at hand.

Loki lingered deliberately close behind her, watching over her shoulder. She was hyper aware of him there and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up, in a good way.

Her hand was shaking a little as she added sugar to his cup. Once it was stirred in, she was about to take it and hand it back to him, but his hand reached round her and he brushed his fingers deliberately against her as he grabbed the cup just before she did.

‘Thank you, darling. You always make the perfect cup of tea, just how I like it.’ He purred, she trembled as she felt his breath dance against her ear.

‘You’re welcome.’ She squeaked.

When she turned around, Loki was heading out of the kitchen. He gave her a nod and a wink before leaving.

Kelly breathed out heavily and leaned back against the counter for support. What had gotten into Loki? Was he actually flirting with her, or was he just warming up to her in a friendly way now? It was hard to tell since she didn’t know his usual personality.

Her mind was whizzing with so much thoughts for the rest of the morning, not entirely sure what to make of Loki’s actions. She didn’t want to get her hopes up in thinking he was flirting with her, since he could be rather arrogant, she couldn’t see him flirting with a mortal...

Or would he?

There was a tiny part of her that hoped maybe Thor was right, maybe Loki had changed. Maybe the Loki he knew from years ago, his brother, was still in there and was starting to show. The darkness was maybe starting to let the light in.

She certainly hoped so, anyway.

-

For the next few days, Loki paid more attention towards Kelly. Confusing her further, as he was his usual cold and distant self with the others. But she had been the only one kind to him from the start, not judging him by his past. So perhaps it had all paid off now, and he was starting to trust her.

It was gentle and subtle touches here and there. If he passed by her in the lab or kitchen, he deliberately put his hand on her arm or her hip. When speaking to her, he stood very much in her personal space. Not that she minded, not one single bit. Even if she did have to crane her neck to look up at him, she felt so giddy in his presence. That he was choosing to speak to her more. And he smelled incredible, so the closer he was to her the better, in her mind.

One evening, she was on her way to her room with a book in her hands. Loki suddenly came into view as he turned the corner ahead of her, he smiled when he spotted her.

‘Evening, Kelly.’ He greeted. The way he said her name always made her stomach twist with butterflies.

‘Hi, Loki.’ She smiled so sweetly at him.

‘Where are you off to?’ He queried, noting the book tucked under her arm.

‘I was just off to bed to read for a while.’

‘Ah, not in the mood for spending time in the great heroes company?’ Loki said, folding his arms over his chest.

‘Not really, sometimes I get days where I just need a bit of quiet time. Away from too much people.’ She admitted.

Loki’s features softened. ‘Well, I understand if you need some alone time. But I was just on my way to the library to read for a while, you’re welcome to join me if you would like some decent company this evening?’

Kelly’s eyes widened and her whole face brightened. ‘Really? I… I wouldn’t want to impose.’

‘Not at all. It would be my pleasure if you would join me, or I wouldn’t have invited you.’ He smiled and pleaded to her with his eyes.

There was no way in hell she would say no, and they both knew it. She nodded eagerly, making Loki’s smile grow larger.

‘Excellent.’ He put his hand gently on her lower back and guided her to the library.

They didn’t talk much, just spent time in one another’s company reading. But Kelly could barely concentrate on her book, just the fact that Loki was sitting at the other end of the sofa with her, content and happy in her company, it was making her heart flutter.

Loki looked over at Kelly now and then while they read. He was smiling softly on the outside, but on the inside, he was grinning like a mad man. He couldn’t believe how easy this was, how she was falling for his charm so easily.

It was going to be like taking candy from a baby. He just needed to up the game a little, have her fall into his lap. But that was going to be easy for him, he had a few favours he could call in.

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 5

A/N: this went in a completely different direction than the original comic did but I think its better this way. More angstier.

Chapter 4

The glow of blue fire emanates from the Witches’ house. As the three brothers watched, the child tucked safely into Lucifer’s arm, the mood was solemn.

“So, it’s over? What happens now?” Beel asked.

“We go home,” The Avatar of Pride replies, “And we help Mammon do his best to move past this...” He turns to look at his brothers, the glow from the fire casting a dark shadow over his face. “We’re finished here. Let’s go.”

A portal was opened as the eldest walked through followed by the others. On the other side, he found Levi and Belphegor trying to move Satan’s old crib from the attic down to Arella’s old room.

“Come on, Levi, put your back into it!” Belphie said as they moved down the stairs carefully. “I’m practically carrying this thing on my own here.”

“I'm trying! A shut in like me isn’t meant to be moving something so heavy.” Levi groaned as he hefted the crib up further.

Lucifer only cleared his throat as the seventh and third-born brothers looked his way. “Where’s Mammon?”

“I used my powers to put him back to sleep so he could rest up before the kid got here.” The Avatar of Sloth replied. “He doesn’t need to be over-tired and dealing with an infant at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. ”

At the commotion, Arella came out of the kitchen where she was washing out all of the old baby bottles they would need. “Oh, you’re back. I can take him now. Beel, would you help them with the crib please? It’ll be going in my old room for the time being, and Satan, would you finish drying the bottles for me, please?”

Both brothers nodded with Beel stepping forth to take the crib from his brothers and Satan headed to the kitchen. Levi and Belphie let out exhausted sighs as they headed off to their rooms and the only two left now in the entrance hall were Lucifer and Arella. She held her arms out for the little one and Lucifer was all too happy to oblige her.

With a small cry of discontentment, the baby settled into her arms quickly as she shushed him. She rocked him gently until he was back to sleep. Seeing her step so readily into the role of motherhood left the demon impressed.

“He’s already had a diaper change around two hours ago and he ate around an hour ago so he should be fine for a little bit.”

”Alright, he is frightfully thin though which worries me, but he’s in good hands now.”

“Why are you doing this, Arella? You know you don’t have to and yet here you are, embracing a child that’s not even yours.”

“Do I need a reason?” She smiles as she looked up at him. “I don’t think I do. I suppose if I have to have a reason it would be that I just want to help Mammon. He can’t do this alone. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

The Avatar of Pride only nodded. “You humans never cease to amaze me with your generosity. Has he thought of a name yet?”

“He threw a couple names out there but ultimately he couldn’t decide so he asked me to choose the name from the ones he suggested.”

“And?”

“I chose the name Cyrus, from the Latin meaning sun. Right now, it’s a very dark time in our lives, but I hope one day he’ll be bright like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” The demon hums. “But are you sure you’ll be alright tonight? You’ve been up nearly all night. You have to be exhausted by now.”

“I’ll be alright. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter. When I graduated from Cambridge a couple years back, I earned myself a degree in biochemical engineering. I can’t tell you the number of sleepless nights I had cramming in last minute reviews. This won’t be anything compared to those. I’m obviously not planning to go to RAD tomorrow, so I can just sleep when Cyrus sleeps.”

“You can take online courses then. We’re going to try to pass him off as your child for that to work you’ll need to be absent from RAD for an extended period of time. If word gets out that my brother was assaulted, the mockery he’ll face will be absolutely ridiculous. It’ll be easy since demons don’t know much about human anatomy. We can always say it was a surprise pregnancy and you never showed.”

Arella only nodded at that. “Thank you,” she turned and headed to her old room for the night to settle the baby.

----------------------------------------------

Mammon slept for a full eight hours before waking up with a start. While he felt rested, there was also an odd sense of worry flowing through him. He looked around frantically and then realized what was missing. Arella wasn’t with him. He got out of bed and made his way around the house looking for his mate. She would be in the last place he looked- in her room. He shrunk back at the sight of his child resting against her chest, as a soft purring noise filled the room. The sight reminded him just how much he wanted them to have a child of their own together.

The demon stood there, mesmerized by the sight in front of him until his human noticed him. She motioned for him to join her on the bed, a bright smile enveloped her features as he did just that.

“He’s beautiful, love.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you want to try to hold him?”

He shook his head as he rested his cheek against her. “I don’t know if I can right now...” The Avatar of Greed only frowned. He wanted to hold Cyrus but he still felt like none of this was real. “It feels like a bad dream... Like I’ll wake up any second now.”

“That’s alright. If it helps, you could pretend that he was always our son to begin with. It might help you in the long run.”

“Do ya think... maybe I can trick myself like that?” He reached out and stroked the child’s cheek. “’Rella, I don’t get it... How can somethin’ so beautiful be born from somethin’ so horrible?”

“Sometimes the best things come from tragedy, Love. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to take him in, do you know that?”

Mammon would only nod in response as a tiny hand came to wrap around his finger. For a moment all the air was stolen out of his chest as he recoiled from the contact slightly. The feeling of a crushing weight on his chest that he had only felt in his worst nightmares had returned. Suddenly, he wondered if he made the right decision as the realization set in that he was a father now. What if he was never able to love his son? What kind of damage would that do to his child? Could he do this?

“Mammon?”

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he takes a few deep breaths and he’s able to calm himself. “I'll take him now. Hafta get past this at some point. I hafta be the parent he needs.”

“You will be. I have faith in you.” Arella kissed his cheek before carefully transferring Cyrus to his father. “I know you’ll be a fantastic father once you’re able to see him separately from what his mother and aunts did to you.”

He only nodded as Arella cards her fingers through his hair. He thought this would be a monumental challenge at first, and it still was but as long as she was here, he thought maybe things would go smoother.

—————————————————————

The crying was the worst part for Mammon and Cyrus was unfortunately a fussy baby. Over the past few weeks since he’d been brought home, there were multiple times where the white-haired demon had to leave the room whenever his child cried or pass him off to his adoptive mother, feeling too physically sick to listen to or even look at the child.

The end of the spring term was nearly upon them and since exams would be coming up. Mammon took every chance he could to stay late at RAD for some extra studying with Satan and Asmodeus, knowing he had to get his grades back up. But the guilt was eating away at him. Arella was at home all day, typically alone, with his child. Any good father- any good mate- would be rushing home to give his partner a break to take time for herself and Mammon knows this but even when he doesn’t stay late at school he finds himself dragging his feet to get home.

He stared and stared at the work book in front of him. It was curses and hexes, one of his most hated subjects and arguably his worst grade. Eventually, he just shut the work book, taking of his glasses and just rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. This caught the attention of his younger brothers.

”You alright, Mams?” Asmo asked as he set his pen down.

”Am I a bad father?” The white-haired demon countered with his own question.

”No, of course not.” Satan frowned. “Given everything that happened, I’d say you’re doing great.”

”It doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “This is my kid and yet it feels like Arella’s doin’ all the work. Takin’ care of him all the time, stayin’ home with him all the time… It should be me doin’ all the work not her! I’m the one who said I’d keep him and yet I can’t bring myself to do anything for him. A-And its not like I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I’ve done it before.”

The Avatar of Greed ran a hand through his hair in frustration before packing up his things.

”Where are you going?” Satan yelled after his brother before being shushed by the librarian.

”Home! To apologize to my mate and force myself to take care of my child.”

If you want to be tagged for updates, let me know

Next

Masterlist 2

[integra1127grimmreaper]

You Just Don’t Know It Yet - chapter twenty-two

Series Masterlist

Cht 21

After August’s passing you had done your best to be there for Max as a friend, you would make sure he was taking care of himself and as well being fed. You even took a day off from work to help Max with packing up August’s belongings.

“You really didn’t have to do this you know-” Max stare at you while you’re busy in his kitchen making dinner later that evening.

“You’re going through a really rough time in your life right now. You lost your grandfather and I wouldn’t be a great friend if I didn’t help you out with the motions of it all-” you tell him as you continue on with preparing dinner.

Max is extremely happy to be spending some time being this close to you again, but disappointment soon sets in upon hearing you referring to the relationship you guys have as one that was only a friendship now.

“I’ll get back to work so long while you finish up in here” Max grumbles out and leaves the kitchen.

Once you had dinner ready, Max and you then sat down to eat. You tried to have a conversation with Max during this time but all he would do was mumble out a few words in-between bites of food while refusing to make eye contact with you.

It was at that moment you began feeling a bit uneasy with the awkward and almost silent behaviour that had suddenly fallen between you and Max.

When dinner was over and you guys went back to work, things were becoming even more awkwardly silent than before as Max seemed to be throwing items in a almost angry manner into the boxes.

“Hey, are you ok?” you ask him concerningly. “Yeah, just have a lot on my mind” he grumps out in response.

Thinking that he was referring to August’s funeral that still had to happen, you felt very sympathetic towards Max at that moment and for what he must be going through after having lost his grandfather, you then understood his behaviour.

Trying to think of a way to lighten things up and get Max out of this mood, your eyes then fall onto the music system in the corner of the living-room.

Going to it, you begin searching through the music selection. You finally find something that’s a bit up beat amongst August’s music and put it on.

“What are you doing?” Max arches a brow questioningly as you start dancing to the music.

“Lightening the mood up a bit-” you reply walking up to him, “come on Max, dance with me. You know you want to-” grabbing his hands, placing them on your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck and begin dancing to the music.

Things soon seem to be getting better as Max starts smiling and eventually laughing at the faces you were pulling as you sing along to the music.

The next song that plays is a slow one and so going with the flow of things, Max pulls your body closer to his, your head lying against his chest as he lightly rests his chin on top of it as you both slowly sway to the music.

Hoping that your plan to help cheer Max up had actually worked, you tilt your head upwards to look into his face. Max silently stares down back at you, a look of awe in his eyes as he deeply stares into yours.

You then smile at Max, happy with the fact that you had gotten him to loosen up a bit. But that smile soon falls when Max suddenly cups your face in the palm of his hands, tipping his face down to kiss you.

Quickly turning your face, the kiss ends up landing on your cheek, “I’m sorry Max, but I can’t-” you say pulling yourself away from him.

“Why not?” Max asks you, letting out a sigh of disappointment. “I told you that we could only be friend now- and you know why-” you reply taking a few more steps back from him.

“Um, we basically packed up everything and it’s getting late, so I think I’m going to head on back to my apartment” you state and go to collect your keys from the table.

“Y/N please wait- can’t we talk about it-” Max begs. “There’s nothing to discuss, Max- I know that you still have feelings for Juliet” you reply making your way towards the door to leave.

Just as you’re about to turn the door handle, you’re abruptly yanked backwards straight into Max’s chest, “please- just here me out- I’m begging you-” Max pleads once more.

Letting out a heavy sigh, “fine- I’ll listen-” you finally agree. Letting out a sigh of relief, “thank you-” Max responds licking at his dry lips.

“That day when you came home, what you saw was Juliet kissing me- not me kissing her. I was just talking to her and all of a sudden, she kissed me. That is what you saw- and had you stayed just for a minute longer, then you would have seen me pushing her away” Max explains to you.

“So, you’re not the one that kissed her? And you stopped it?” you stared at him, confused at what you were hearing.

“Yes” he replies with a slight smile. “Why?” you ask even more confused than ever.

Cupping your face in his hands, “because I’m in love with you and only you-” Max states gently stroking his thumb across your cheek.

“What?” you stare at him in astonishment. Smiling at your reaction, Max replies, “I love you Y/N and only you-”

“I- I believe you Max” you to tell him.

Happy that the misunderstanding was finally cleared between you guys, Max moves in to kiss you but you stop him, “wait Max, I believe what you told me is the truth. But I need some time to process everything.”

Letting go of your face, with a heavy sigh and backing away from you, Max responds, “Ok. I’ll give you time”

You reach for the door in order to leave but turn around one last time to look at Max and that’s when you see the dejected look on his face.

Feeling sympathetic towards him, you walk up to him and place a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll see you at the funeral Max” and take your leave.

NXT CHT

[akitokihojo]

Monster - Chapter 12

chapter index

damn near almost forgot it was Friday... anyway, this one's a little shorter, but necessarily so. I hope you enjoy it, nevertheless! <3

----------

Kagome was in a grouchy mood from the rude awakening she’d received early that morning. She wasn’t outwardly expressing herself, but it was a little too difficult to wipe it clean from her face. And, Shinosuke was too amused by it.

It was a young lady who’d woken she and Inuyasha up, and immediately Kagome knew she was there to change Inuyasha’s bandages. When Kagome had first arrived the night before, a small stain was noticeable, but as she sat up from Inuyasha’s side, the front of his bandages were completely soddened with his blood. He was weak and fatigued, eyes opened from his own awakening but irises dull, and didn’t even have enough energy to really grasp her hand anymore. His breathing was shallow, but he tried to narrow a brave look at her. Still, she froze with fear.

The woman, Wakana, wouldn’t allow Kagome to help and insisted she leave. Though Kagome persistently objected, demanding she needed to stay by his side, again she was torn away by the strong arms of Shinosuke.

“He was okay last night!” She frantically cried as he let her go just outside of Inuyasha’s room.

“And, he’s okay now. I swear. This is normal with blood loss, but he’s part demon. He’s going to be fine.”

“No, but -“

“Kagome, I promise! He’s just fucking exhausted from healing, and the medication from last night has most likely worn off. I’ve seen this on numerous occasions. And, you want to be with him twenty-four-seven, I get it. You want to personally witness his progress, but you can’t. It’s not good for you. Wakana’s right, you shouldn’t see him like this right now. You both need a little space from each other.”

“No, that doesn’t make sense. He would never leave my side if I was hurt like that, and I don’t want to leave his.” Kagome argued, bleary eyed.

“Don’t you get it? If you’re in there, he’s going to be focused on your well-being the entire time. He wont want to rest because he’s going to want to make sure you’re calm. I already saw him trying; I was right there. And, you? You’re going to see the most traumatizing wound you’ve probably ever laid eyes on. Trust me, something like that doesn’t just leave your memory. Especially, when it’s happened to someone significant to you. It’s going to scar you, and each time you look at Inuyasha thereafter, you’ll either see the infliction or you’ll be absolutely terrified it’ll happen again, so you’ll overcompensate to prevent it. You both need to be apart. You got pretty banged up yesterday, too. When was the last time you just focused on yourself?” That last question came off playfully sarcastic, but Kagome couldn’t perceive anything but literalism at the moment.

“I don’t know, like thirteen years ago.” She responded blandly. “I have a little brother.”

“Oh my god.” He deadpanned, blinking. “You need to eat something.”

“No, but -“

“Kagome, come on.” Shinosuke placed his hand in the middle of her back to guide her. “I promise, he’ll be fine. You, on the other hand, need some food.”

“I don’t want food.”

“You’re eating food.”

And, so here she was, porridge and fruit placed on a tray before her as she sat on a rather large bed in a rather large room she hadn’t been in before. Kagome nibbled on a strawberry, feeling the grumpy pout written all over her face, her stomach in shambles, and Shinosuke snickering at her from a chair by the door.

“Are you going to watch me all freaking day?”

“That’s literally my job. So, yes.”

“Go away.” Kagome grumbled, half a strawberry in her mouth.

“No.” He smiled.

The door opened slowly, cautiously, Wakana walking in with a soft smile on her face. She pulled her long, brown hair from the low ponytail it’d been in, allowing the straight, flowing strands to hang freely now around her shoulders. Immediately, Shinosuke respectfully stood, giving a light bow of his head when their eyes met.

“He’s perfectly fine.” She assured Kagome, approaching closer. “The hole’s actually a bit smaller already. I was surprised to see such quick improvement. The wound is lathered in some herbs, he’s wrapped up nice and tight, and I had him sip on an herbal remedy to help alleviate some pain.”

“Can I see him?” Kagome softly asked, lowering the strawberry from her pink-stained lips.

“He’s asleep.” Wakana grimaced slightly.

“Can I - can I see him, anyway?”

“No.” Shinosuke chimed, robbing a grape from her fruit bowl.

Kagome scowled at the audacious guard, flickering her attention back at Wakana. “Why is he like this? I don’t think I like him.”

“I don’t think I do either.” She sighed, elbowing him in the side. “Sorry. I know he’s a pain in the ass, but he’s the head of our guards, and papa was right to have him watch over you. Though, your friend doesn’t appear to care as much as we’d thought he would. He can’t even move and he seems to think he can do better.”

“Oh, you told him?” Kagome asked, wondering when the topic could have come up. Though, she couldn’t deny that the response sounded very organic to Inuyasha’s nature. Processing everything else she’d said, her head cocked to the side in a quick subject change. “Wait, papa?”

Wakana gave a small laugh, smacking Shinosuke’s hand as he reached for another piece of fruit. “It’s like clockwork. I walk in, Inuyasha asks for you. We’ve told him multiple times that you’re being protected, but much like you, he wants to be by your side. And, yes. I’m the headman’s daughter. I asked Shinosuke to bring you to my room. Figured it would be more comfortable for you. I also have some clothes that should fit you.”

“Oh, that’s okay.” Kagome kindly declined, handing Shinosuke the fork she hadn’t been using with a slice of honeydew on the end. She wasn’t a huge fan of that fruit, so he could eat all of those pieces for all she cared. “What happened to my clothes from yesterday?”

Wakana arched a spekulative brow. “Ruined?”

“What do you mean, ruined?”

“You didn’t actually expect that blood to come out, did you?” Shinosuke asked after swallowing his fruit.

“Oh, shit.” Kagome hissed. “I forgot! Crap, that was my last shirt.”

“I might be able to save the bodice, though.” Wakana mentioned, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Kagome’s eyes widened, a small pout returning to her face. “My bodice? What happened to my bodice?”

“The seams split. And - um - so did the back.”

It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise. After rolling around in the dirt to fight a demon, what else could she have expected?

“R-I-P.” Shinosuke satirically said, snagging another honeydew. Kagome pinned him with a threatening glare, one he finally heeded as he recoiled drastically, crossing back over to his chair by the door.

“I’ve got plenty of dresses, love!” Wakana said, trying to lift her spirits. “You’re more than welcome to any!”

“I appreciate that, but what’ll I do when I leave here?”

“Take them with you!”

“No, I couldn’t.” Kagome shook her head. “That’s so sweet of you, but I really couldn’t.”

“I insist.”

“No, honestly. I can’t fight in a dress.”

“Neither can I.” Shinosuke commented, his mouth full.

“Oh my god, get out.” Wakana groaned, rolling her eyes as she scowled at Shinosuke.

“Can’t.” He grinned, pointing to Kagome. “Scout’s honor.”

“Then, quiet.”

“That, I can do.” He agreed, sealing his lips.

“Okay, here’s the thing: The women around here don’t really wear bodices anymore; everything’s sort of built into our dresses, and it’s rare to see a woman in pants around these parts -“

“Barbarians.”

Both women glared at Shinosuke, and abruptly, with a tension of fear, he stood from his seat, opening the door and dragging the chair out with him.

“Anyway,” Wakana groaned, redirecting her gaze back to Kagome now that they were alone. “As I was saying, I can probably make you another, and if not, I can consult the seamstress at the edge of town. Let me brainstorm a little on this, is that okay?”

“I don’t want to be any trouble for you. It’s not a problem. I can -“

“No, don’t worry. I love doing this. It’s the little things in life, right? It’s no trouble at all, and after what you two did for all of us yesterday, it’s a pleasure.”

“Oh. Well, alright. Thank you.” Kagome reluctantly agreed.

“For the meantime, let me replace your bandages and get you out of your pajamas.”

Kagome flexed her hand in their new wrappings, her split knuckle coated in a thick ointment beneath and tingling from the remedy’s properties. The scrape on her head had a light layer smeared on, the bandage poking from her bangs and covering the entire area to keep the ointment in.

She could see the enthusiasm on Wakana’s face as she pulled out a few dresses from the back of her wardrobe. She’d explained that she’d made them herself, but there was something else there. A joy that told Kagome she hadn’t been able to pull them out in a while.

“I’d put my hobbies aside for the past couple of years. Who was I to have lavish taste and ease my worries with distractions such as sewing while my people were in a depression, constantly afraid of the henchmen’s next visit? Not to mention, the healthier you looked - and I mean that in all regards - the worse treatment you’d receive. It was best not to attract more attention, you know? I didn’t want them increasing their inspections. Not when there was -“ She stopped herself, glancing over at Kagome. “Not when I had people to protect. Their fear is our fear. So is their pain. And, sadness. My papa, he does his best for his people, and he stands right with them no matter what.

“Once Moryomaru starting coming around, that was when we all stowed away our irreplaceable belongings. My mother’s ashes, a few knickknacks from ancestors, and things of the likes from the village people were stored here below ground. In fact, they’re being brought up to return to their homes as we speak.” Her happiness was indescribable. It was like Kagome could physically see the weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

“But, wait.” She couldn’t help but ask. “Are you positive we got them all?”

“Actually, yes. I wasn’t there to see it happen, unfortunately. I was here in the courtyard with the women that live in this home. With Shinosuke and the guards. Moryomaru was in the midsts of taunting us when they left for whatever was going on, and I remember being so confused in that moment. But, papa told me everything. Inuyasha singlehandedly took all of the henchmen on. More importantly, you two killed Moryomaru. You killed the henchmen’s commander. Their leader. I’m not sure if that’s the end of all inspections, but the henchmen are like chickens running around without a head without someone to tell them what to do. And, I may have never met Naraku, but I certainly figure he finds himself too superior to ever sully his hands by speaking with low lives such as them. I’m sure inspections are about to slow substantially from this point forward. I can feel it.”

“Okay, hold on.” Kagome spoke, leaning on the frame of the bed as she digested that information, brown eyes unfocused on the carpet. “Moryomaru. That’s that thing’s name? That creature?”

“Yes.” Wakana confirmed.

“They were - they were the commander? Of all the henchmen? They were the one who called all the shots?”

“Ultimately, yes. Moryomaru liked to boast about their leadership, that was for sure, and while they had a chain of command it seemed - with a leader of each platoon - Moryomaru was the top. Forgive me, but did you not know that?”

“No.” Kagome admitted, glancing up at the headman’s daughter.

“Oh.” Her brows furrowed in contemplation. “This may sound presumptuous, but you guys came in so ready to fight, we’d sort of figured you were hunting Moryomaru.”

“Not at all. Before yesterday, we’d never seen Moryomaru. At least, I hadn’t. Not sure about Inuyasha, but he’d never mentioned them before. We were in the area when we sensed the demons, and then we heard some screaming so -“

“So, you came to help…” Wakana finished, astonished.

“Yeah.” Kagome nodded.

“You came to help even though you’re a conjurer…”

“Well, Inuyasha did. I can’t take much credit there; he’d made me agree to stay behind so they wouldn’t know about me.”

“Even so, he ran in even though he’s a hanyou. I can’t believe… You guys - you still ended up fighting too, you cant tell me you got these wounds from hiding, and I - you two are - I can’t believe -“ Wakana couldn’t finish her sentence. She’d been incredibly grateful to these two from the moment her father had brought them back to their home, and she thought incredibly highly of them from the instant she understood the incident. But, to learn the circumstance a little better, to comprehend that there was plenty on the line for them too, but they still contributed their strengths to save them, and ultimately so many more, Wakana was awestruck. Heedlessly, she stepped forward, wrapped her arms around Kagome’s shoulders to hug her tight.

Kagome had tensed at first, but recovered quickly, returning the gesture. At first, her touch was light, cautious, but as Wakana leaned further into her, Kagome firmed her hold on the woman.

“Are you okay?” Kagome asked, slightly confused.

“I’m just so thankful to you two.” She leaned back to say, smiling. “To know it was your decision to help and not a job makes it even more meaningful. I can see it’s kind of hard to wrap your head around, but you haven’t just saved my village and people. You’ve saved so many others, as well.”

“But, their leaders… the second in commands, I suppose -“

“Chickens without a head, girl. Chickens without a head.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help but fear that you’re wrong.”

“I understand. I don’t think I’ve seen nearly as much of the world and its cruelty as you and Inuyasha have.” Wakana rubbed Kagome’s arm consolingly. There was a chance that she was wrong. Nothing in this world was certain, especially now, and if Naraku created Moryomaru for this purpose, he could absolutely create another monster to take their place. But, from what Shinosuke had experienced, what he and his father had come back to inform her father of, she wanted to believe that this was the first step in overcoming the evil that clouded their lives. So, maybe hearing it from their guard would help alleviate the worry in Kagome’s frown.

“Shinosuke, come here please!” She shouted over her shoulder.

“Ma’am?” The tall man poked his head in through the large doors a short second later, his brows raised in question.

“In.”

“Ma’am.” He complied, taking the order and shutting the door right behind him.

“Tell Kagome what you know about Moryomaru, please. No jokes. Give her what you’ve learned.”

Shinosuke gave a single nod of his head, regarding the conjurer with his charcoal eyes. “They’re a creation of Naraku, derived from his own vessel. They took leadership of the inspectors, having nearly a thousand men at their beck and call at one point. They’d admitted that as their numbers began suddenly depleting drastically, that was when they’d decided to come forward and monitor more inspections to see where the disruption was coming from. It was more to show that if villagers were beginning an uprising, they were there to scare them back in line.”

“And, Moryomaru’s chain of command?” Wakana requested.

“Useless without Moryomaru. They were too involved, had a need for control, so none of their ‘officers’, so to speak, were allowed to make calls without their issuance. Therefore, without him, the chain breaks.”

“How do you know all this?” Kagome’s question came out quietly, taken aback.

A small grimace appeared on Shinosuke’s face and Wakana’s gaze fell downward. There wasn’t much delay before the guard looked to the woman at Kagome’s side and asked, “May I?”

“Of course.” She nodded.

Shinosuke lifted his shirt high enough to show the abnormally large scar stretching over the outer portion of his ribcage. “A few of us guards were abducted by that fucker a few months ago; myself, my father, and Nobunaga. Said we got too bold in thinking we could protect anybody so they wanted to put us in our place - which would serve as a warning to our other guards.”

Kagome’s jaw had dropped slightly, her eyes widening at the deformed scar. Her breath locked in her lungs from her gasp and it was almost like she couldn’t look away from the sealed wound. She couldn’t believe what she was looking at. It should have been fathomable, given everything she’d witnessed over the years, but she couldn’t believe she was in the presence of someone who’d survived evident torture.

“They were in custody for five weeks.” Wakana added solemnly as Shinosuke lowered his clothing. “We didn’t know if they’d return. But, Shinosuke, being Shinosuke, used the opportunity to memorize everything he’d seen while with them.”

“If I lived, I was going to make sure I told everyone who needed to know everything I saw and heard. Tell me, conjurer. Are you someone who needs to know, or who’s just too curious for their own good?”

Kagome couldn’t fight her hesitation. Her fingers curled into apprehensive fists as her nerves gave a small wring of her stomach. No one knew of their quest. No one knew their true objective, Koga being the one exception on Inuyasha’s side. But, even after finding out Koga was part of the war, she still decided not to disclose her purpose. Koga didn’t know what she was, though. That was a huge part of her reason against telling him. There was something different about the circumstances at play here. She’d swooped in with her arrow, and with Inuyasha’s blast from his sword, they’d synchronously created an insanely powerful attack. They’d unknowingly destroyed a war machine. They’d unknowingly annihilated a part of Naraku. The people here knew what she was whether she confirmed or denied, and they were allies. Why hide anymore?

“Inuyasha and I, our mission is to kill Naraku. We want to find a way to end the darkness we’re living in.” She said, leveling her chin confidently.

“That’s what you’re working toward?” He asked, and it wasn’t a test. There was the hint of concern on his brow.

“Everyday.”

“Well, fuck.” Shinosuke sighed. “Sounds legitimate enough to me.”

He walked closer so his voice wouldn’t carry, stopping just a few feet away from the women. Kagome had stiffened slightly, and he knew exactly why. She was afraid. It was a learned reaction. Right now, she was vulnerable, and as far as she was concerned, alone. No matter how many times she was promised safety, assured coalition, it wasn’t always possible to turn off that part of your brain that braced you for the worst. Because, you were trained to expect it after so long. Especially, being someone in her position.

So, as he stopped, he made sure to slowly outstretch his hand. He held it out for her to take, patiently allowing her to register that he meant no harm - only respect. As Kagome slipped her small palm within his hold, he wrapped his fingers firmly around it, carefully stepping inward, bending forward, and whispering in her ear.

“Naraku has five creations. Excluding Moryomaru, I encountered two. They were named Hakudoshi and Kagura.”

—

There was a small abatement from the storm. It was a little humid outside, but Kagome just wanted to be absorbed in the scent of rain. Finally accepting that while she was staying at the village’s headman’s home Shinosuke was an accessory to her person, she decided to drag him outside to take a walk with her.

Wakana had been so patient and kind, so Kagome had allowed her to have some fun and dress her the way she so pleased. Having to put it away for quite some time, Kagome could see the freedom on her pink cheeks as she finally got to dive into her creativity again. It made Wakana happy, and after so much tentative care to both she and Inuyasha, Kagome was glad to be the first she expressed her art on again.

Unfortunately, it was a little obvious she hadn’t worn a dress in well over a decade. Let alone, had never once in her life worn a dress quite this nice. Shinosuke had called her out for her incessant fidgeting three times and kept snickering at her whenever she readjusted the cut around her breasts. It was a little lower than anything she was used to, and the low dip had her feeling extremely exposed. She wasn’t. Each time she instinctually went to put her breasts away she had to keep reminding herself that they were exactly where they were meant to be, but it was just weird to feel so much of a breeze.

The sleeves were off the shoulder, fastened to her upper arms by a material that clung. The rest of the sleeves were long and flowy, cut in the middle for her arms to slip out of had she reached for something. Never in her life had Kagome worn such a pretty shade of pastel pink, nor had she experienced little, blush roses made of silk fastened to her bust, nor had she had the opportunity to feel ribbons made of the same, tied in a bow at the center of her sternum. Tiny leaves were sewn into the fabric just beneath her breasts, cinching the dress to her ribs, and the same was said for her waistline, holding the gown to her as the rest of the length of the skirt was free to flow around her entire lower body.

Kagome’s hair was brushed, waving naturally, but tied half up in a twisted bun that was held in place by pins unseen. Her bangs were in tidy order for the first time in weeks, and Wakana was meticulous to pull the strands that framed her jawline free from the bun. She’d asked to put a subtle hint of glitter on Kagome’s cheeks, and considering it was a huge day of firsts for her, Kagome could only bring herself to shrug in a huge, why the hell not?

Truthfully, the doting makeover was fun for Kagome, too. While she felt more comfortable in pants and a shirt, it was only because it was what she was used to, and functionality called for it. She actually really loved dresses. The look of them, at least. With it being years since she’d even considered wearing one, she wondered so often if she could even pull them off. And, when she finally got a look at herself in the mirror once Wakana had finished, pride gleaming in the woman’s eyes, Kagome couldn’t help but grow incredibly shy. She loved the way it looked on her, but it was so different.

“Tell me you’re not girly without telling me you’re not girly.” Shinosuke jabbed, chuckling at her side as they strolled around the outer pathway of the mansion.

“Hush.” Kagome sighed. “I think I was eight the last time I wore a dress.”

“They’re not going anywhere.” He remarked, regarding the way she kept fixing the bust of her dress. “Believe me, there are women in town with bigger breasts than you that do manual labor in dresses made of thinner material, and they’ll proudly tell you that their tits stay in place.”

Another sigh as she dropped her hands to her side. “I’m just not used to it.”

“I thought you liked it.”

“No, I do. It’s pretty.” Kagome assured, looking up at him and nodding. “I’m just - I mean, like I said, I’m - I’m not used to it.”

“Ah, I get it.” Shinosuke smirked, looking ahead of them. “You’re self conscious.”

She didn’t say anything. She merely looked at the thriving plants to her right, minding how the petals of flowers were still dotted with droplets of rain. The sky was still blanketed in dark clouds, conveying that the storm had yet to fully pass, and the air was thick with the comforting smell of moisture.

“May I compliment you?” He respectfully asked.

Kagome glanced up at him again, curious. “Not if you feel obligated.”

“I just want to make sure I won’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh. I appreciate that.” She really did. She understood that he was simply trying to make her feel more secure with his honest thoughts while not trying to offset her by making it seem he was overstepping any boundaries. Not many men had that courtesy. “Sure.”

Shinosuke stopped, turning to the woman at his side. It was interesting to him to see such a strong female who’d participated in taking down a plague to their society seem so small and timid in such a superficial environment. Maybe she was the sort who didn’t realize her beauty. Maybe she was the sort that didn’t really focus on that sort of thing, and this element - delicate femininity - was abnormal to her. Given such, it was irrelevant. Anyone with eyes could see that even when she ran into the courtyard yesterday along her battered companion, covered in scratches, dirt, blood, and fear she was inherently beautiful. Now, cleaned, bandaged, still slightly guarded but overall level, Kagome was enchanting. And, he could easily tell that that was what Wakana was trying to enhance.

It wasn’t that she was merely letting loose and having fun. Wakana was specific to adhere to the minds of others, as well as their hearts. She’d wanted to distract Kagome from her partner’s condition. She’d wanted to make her feel a little better about herself while she knew things, in general, felt off to not have Inuyasha beside her. Sometimes, it was the little things that brought a smile to appear. A genuine smile.

Kagome was brave, fierce, and selfless. That, alone, was gorgeous. And, Wakana was trying to bring that inward appearance outward so Kagome could see the exact way she was looking at her.

Shinosuke took a moment. He noticed the small hint of pink on her cheeks, the way she’d nervously been pinching her lips together since the moment they’d stepped outside - which had inadvertently created a nice, rosy hue, the way her hair was waving just a little bit more than before due to the slight humidity. He smiled softly, tilting his head to the side.

“I think you’re beautiful. I think you worry too much, and that if you just stood up a little straighter, held your head up a little higher, and allowed yourself to step out of your comfort zone, you’d own your radiance. I think you could stop men in their tracks, and I think it’d be cute to see how confused you are when it happens, because you seem just air-headed enough not to understand what sort of affect you have on people. Even looking as worn out as you did yesterday, you were pretty. Right now, you’re - Kagome, you’re beautiful.”

He’d said it directly, compassionately, kindly. It wasn’t from a place that would make her stiffen with shyness, but a place that made her smile from genuine benevolence.

“Thank you.” She said. “You’re pretty, too.”

Shinosuke laughed, patting Kagome’s head and redirecting her to walk along the path through the courtyard.

At the very edge, before the entrance from town and just before Shinosuke turned her around, a little girl with her brother ran up, hand-in-hand. A soft rumble of thunder struck in the distance, and the smell of rain had become just a little heavier in the passing minutes. Yet, the children seemed untroubled by the threat, staring wide-eyed at Kagome.

“Mayu, no. Go home.” Shinosuke quickly said as she opened her mouth. “Not right now.”

“But -“ The little girl quickly went to argue, but her brother was already trying to tug her away. He seemed unwelcoming, protective, and the one that liked to steer a little more on the careful side.

“Has anything I’ve ever said been negotiable?” Shinosuke asked in a firm tone.

“No, but -“

“Then, go home. Your mother probably doesn’t even know you’re out here, am I right?”

“Yes.” Satoru claimed with contempt. “Mayu didn’t want to listen to me and decided to sneak out while mom was napping. So, I came with her. Sorry, Shinosuke. We’re leaving.”

“No, I need to talk to her.” Mayu tried again a little louder, stomping her foot for added effect.

“Not right now, you don’t. Satoru, is your mother unwell again?”

“Yes. Unfortunately.” The identical boy answered.

“Mayu, come on.” Shinosuke bargained, kneeling down before the two children. “Please, don’t stress her out further right now. Wait for the storm to pass, at least. You know how much your mom worries about you. You need to give people time to adjust and recover. You aren’t the only person to consider here.”

Kagome could see the little girl fighting herself. Her dark eyes bounced from Shinosuke to her and then back to the guard, nostrils flaring at her frustrated huff.

“Be patient. Now’s not the time to be selfish. Go home.”

“Fine.” She grumbled, and then darted a glare toward Kagome, catching her completely off guard. “But, I’ll be back!”

Shinosuke stood, returning to Kagome’s side as the two children ran off down the street, taking an alley corner.

“Why - why did I feel like that was a threat?” Kagome warily asked.

“Eh, she’s harmless. Mayu’s rough around the edges, for sure, but she’s a good kid. Satoru’s the one you should watch. He used to be this timid boy a couple of years ago, barely spoke, hid behind his twin sister, the works, but then one day he just switched. Mayu comes off tough, but her brother’s the one that’ll actually scare you. Believe me.” He said, placing his hand at her mid back to turn her around to head back through the courtyard garden.

“Well, what was it she wanted to talk to me about? It seemed urgent.”

“It’s not. She’s just pushy. I can guarantee she’ll be back, hopefully at a more appropriate time, and she’ll be able to bug you then. If you’re okay with that, of course. If not, tell me now. I’ll be able to keep her at bay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”

“Because, you’re a conjurer. And, she’s going to bring that up.”

“Ah, that’s right. She asked me yesterday, but the headman stopped her.”

“I know it’s a touchy subject. She’s going to be a ten year old, and she’s not going to understand boundaries.”

Kagome pressed her lips together again, grazing her fingers over the large leaves that waited for their next dosage of moisture as they strolled along.

“Thing about her is, she keeps secrets better than any adult I’ve ever met. So, if you’d like to see what she has to ask you but you’re worried about you’re answers getting out, don’t be. Mayu would take it to the grave. And, Satoru - because they come in a pair - barely speaks to begin with, and his loyalty lies with his twin. If she’s keeping a secret, so is he.” Shinosuke added, carefully maneuvering Kagome around a puddle.

“It’s alright.” She spoke softly, smiling. “I don’t mind. I’ll talk with her next -“

“There you are!” Wakana cheerfully greeted from over the second story bannister, overlooking the courtyard. “I’ve been looking for you two.”

“What’s up?” Shinosuke asked.

“Inuyasha’s awake. Kagome, would you like to see him?”

Kagome’s heart gave a heavy thump in her chest, and her skin ignited in an excited eruption of warmth. With an anxious breath, she nodded eagerly, rushing the rest of the way toward the main house where Wakana agreed to meet them on the first floor.

“Here’s the thing: he’s a little grumpy at the moment. Not very talkative, speaks with more grunts than words, seems perpetually upset but won’t admit he’s in any pain when we ask…” Wakana mentioned as she guided them through the corridors.

“That’s actually normal.” Kagome replied, pursing her lips.

“Is it?”

“Oh, yeah.” She remarked, nodding. “Inuyasha’s not known for his compassion, I’ll tell you that. He likes to handle things on his own, so I’d say, if he’s not wincing or yelling at you, he’s fine.”

“Oh, okay. Well, in that case, he’s pretty lively. He’s sitting up with minimal problem, but he’s been asking for you. I told him to eat and we’d go and find you after, but he refused. Said he didn’t want food. Or medicine. He really should have something in his stomach before his next dose - given he stops declining it. Maybe you could convince him to try and eat?” Wakana inquired, turning to look at Kagome while they walked as she was a few steps behind.

“He doesn’t listen to me.” Kagome objected with a modest shake of her head.

Both Wakana and Shinosuke shot surprised looks at her, and Kagome felt herself go on cautious alert, almost freezing.

“You’re kidding.”

“No?” She replied, confused. “Inuyasha never listens to me.” Kagome reiterated.

“I’m sorry, I sort of thought you two were on a… how do I put it? I sort of thought you two were on a level where you take each other’s advice.”

“Oh, Inuyasha’s stubbornness puts mine to shame. He doesn’t like to be told what to do. All it does is make him want to do the exact opposite. And, if I give him advice, he just thinks it’s nagging.”

“Wait, hold on, hold on. Pause.” Shinosuke said, stopping in the middle of the hall with a hand held out to halt her. Kagome’s wide eyes landed on him, lips parted in question. “What are you two?”

There was hesitation, dubiety, as Kagome did a gentle sway from side to side before finally speaking again. “What - uh - what do you mean?”

“Like, what are you and Inuyasha?”

Kagome glanced back and forth from Shinosuke to Wakana, noticing the same question was written all over Wakana’s face. “I - I don’t -“

“You know exactly what I’m asking.”

“I - uh - we are… friends.”

“Uh-huh, why did that sound like a question?” Shinosuke interrogated, crossing his arms over his chest while he arched a brow, smirking now.

“I-it wasn’t. It wasn’t.” She ended up saying with more confidence the second time. “We’re friends.”

“You’re friends?”

“We’re friends.” Kagome couldn’t help the nervous smile she’d cracked that time. She bit the inside of her lip, her swaying growing more obvious to speak of her discomfort and uncertainty. And, she cursed herself for that as she fiddled with the long sleeves of her borrowed dress.

“Are you sure?”

“We’re friends. We’re friends. We’re friends.” Kagome repeated awkwardly, nodding as she looked back and forth between the two. “We’re friends.”

“Say it one more time, you might just convince yourself.” Shinosuke remarked, chuckling.

“We’re -“ Kagome caught herself, pinching her lips together as she deflated slightly.

“I’m so sorry,” Wakana started, grimacing. “I thought you two might have been in a relationship. We all did.”

“Everyone thinks that?” Kagome apprehensively asked.

“Could you blame us?” Shinosuke spoke, amused. “I don’t know friends who sleep that close to each other. Not the way we found you two.”

“Well, maybe you should try it.” Kagome feigned attitude, pursing her lips. “It’s comforting.”

“Mhm, I know. I sleep like that with Wakana.” He sassed right back.

Kagome’s attention snapped Wakana’s way just in time to watch her roll her eyes.

“We’re engaged.” She said.

“Oh,” Kagome nodded. “Well, that makes sense.”

“Doesn’t it?” Shinosuke pressed, laughing as he caught Kagome in her own shock.

She’d opened her mouth to speak, to say anything in defense, but nothing came out. She was flustered and confused.

“It’s okay not to know.” He chuckled, patting her head again. “But, I gotta tell you, you’re not just friends.”

An overwhelming sense of bashfulness washed over Kagome then. Her face went hot and she ducked it. She couldn’t remember a time she’d blushed so horribly, and as she gazed down at the floor, she caught how red her chest even appeared at the bottom of her eyes. Her feelings were obvious. By now, she got that. Being called on it didn’t change how humiliating it was, and it only increased her confusion.

Shinosuke placed his hands on her shoulders, guiding her to walk down the hall while she couldn’t help but continue to hide her embarrassment. She and Inuyasha were friends. That wasn’t a lie. But, she couldn’t speak for his feelings. If anyone were to ask her how he felt about her, the only things she was certain about were his undeniable protectiveness, his caring nature whenever she wasn’t feeling well or they were alone, and that she annoyed the absolute hell out of him. If Shinosuke and Wakana were to have asked Kagome for her individual feelings for Inuyasha though, her answer would have been different. And, much more rattled. Because, she cared about Inuyasha now more than she cared even for herself. She appreciated the hanyou more than the water she drank or the food she ate. She had an attachment to him she never wanted to think about giving up. And, after witnessing his brutal injury yesterday, seeing blood stain his body, having to catch him as he fell, she dreadfully feared losing him in more ways than one. She felt it all so deeply. To the point where she couldn’t sleep last night unless she was touching him. To the point where he was on her mind constantly in their mandatory separation. To the point where the closer they got to his quarters, the more unnerved and stable she felt herself becoming - like a walking case of contradiction.

But, the moment the door was open, and Wakana walked in ahead of them to greet whatever staff was alongside the hanyou, and Shinosuke released her shoulders to enter in before him, and the moment her brown eyes found Inuyasha sitting on his futon, lower body covered by the blanket, back leaning against the wall, and torso heavily bandaged, all of those thoughts faded away. They were insignificant and superficial. They didn’t match up to the way he sat up a little taller at her appearance, bringing a small cringe of pain from his lips. They didn’t equate to the way she watched the breath leave his inflated chest, and how his golden eyes stayed on her as she hurried across the room to him. They didn’t matter in the face of how much she just needed to be right next to him at that very instant, and those thoughts that had her feeling scared had vanished completely. Maybe it was momentarily, but that was inconsequential. Because, she was just inches from his arm now, she could smell his clean scent, and she could feel the body heat that reached her like a hand that pulled her in.

Inuyasha had finally caught her scent again. It was something he hated about stormy weather. Rain clouded his olfactory system, and if something or someone wasn’t close by, he’d never be able to tell where they were. It was different to sleep without her aroma near him, and he was sure that if it weren’t for whatever drugs they kept putting in his body, he’d have never drifted off in the first place. The moment he regained consciousness not too long ago, noticing women by his side that weren’t Kagome, cleaning his wounds, changing his wrappings, he felt out of sorts. All he could think about was her, worry about was her. Who were these women? Where was Kagome? She’d been hurt the day before. Was she being taken care of? He vaguely remembered a woman telling him Kagome was being carefully protected for his own peace of mind the last time he was awake, but that was no fucking comfort whatsoever. He didn’t trust anyone with her, let alone someone he had never fucking met, himself.

The moment her calming scent, subtle and light, found its way into his sensitive nose, Inuyasha was on alert, watching the door to his room and ignoring the staff that had been left with him. They were trying to get him to take medicine, trying to get him to lay back down if he wasn’t going to eat so they could put a cooling rag on his head for his splitting migraine, but it was as if they weren’t even there anymore the second he sensed Kagome coming. Then, she entered, and even coherent thought ceased to exist.

That dress. That dress adorning her fair skin. It was both cruel to him and enticing. It complimented her figure, it flowed around her legs, it belonged to her body and should never be replaced. Kagome sped across the floor to rejoin him at his side, cutting off his clear view, and he found himself dissatisfied. He wasn’t done. She couldn’t enter a room like a goddess here to grace his presence and not give him ample timing to properly memorize the image.

Still, be that as it may, his gaze followed her. It wasn’t an order his brain gave to his eyes and head as she sat by his damaged arm, anxious and relieved. Inuyasha legitimately couldn’t take his eyes off of her. If he had that sort of control, if he did himself the injustice by looking away before he was ready, he would have cursed himself for days to come. If he couldn’t take her all in, he was going to take in as much as he could.

He was breathless, dazed, but in his right mind. Kagome had him captivated. She walked in and her smile reached his soul. All at once, he was stunned and comforted. And, he was grateful.

She’d asked him if he was okay. He hadn’t heard her words, spoken so lightly, but he’d watched her lips move. With his left hand, Inuyasha reached across to her, his finger gently rubbing just beneath her chin as he nodded. He was going to speak, but his amber irises fell to her shoulders, the skin he’d yet to be fortunate enough to really see until now. Small, brown and tan freckles dotted her shoulder. There weren’t an abundance, but there were just enough to steal his focus. With everything in him, he wanted to kiss each and every one, and with everything in him, he reminded himself that it was the wrong place at the wrong time.

“This arm,” Kagome mentioned, looking down at the bandaged shoulder and bicep. “You can’t really move it, can you? I should switch to the other side.”

She glanced to the woman that occupied his left, about to ask if she’d mind switching with her before Inuyasha finally spoke.

Now was his chance. The golden opportunity. “No, it’s - it’d be better if you sat in front of me. My neck’s stiff, so turning it sucks right now.” He fibbed.

“Oh, okay.” She obliged with a nod, scooting herself to sit by his thigh. Her back was now turned to the entrance, fully facing her companion as she gently leaned against his leg. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah. Better.” Now he could get a perfect look at her.

Kagome was trying not to concentrate on his torso, on the wrappings that dressed his bare core. It would only increase her obvious concern, and it wasn’t something she wanted to immediately bother Inuyasha with. Instead, she occupied her sights with anything else; his fingers that rubbed against the blanket covering him, his soft gaze on her, his long hair that wasn’t held captive in a high ponytail like she was so used to, then the tray of food at his side.

“You haven’t eaten, have you?” Though she knew the answer already, she figured it was respectful to allow him to speak for himself.

Inuyasha looked down to his untouched food, the bowl of fruit, the bread, the meat, the rice. He couldn’t think about eating before when all that occupied his mind was Kagome. He needed to know she was okay before he even considered taking a bite.

“No.” He lightly replied.

“Did you eat this morning?”

He shook his head.

“That means the last time you ate was yesterday morning, Inuyasha.” She gently reminded, her brow curved in concern. “Do you not have an appetite, or -“

“Have you eaten?” Inuyasha interrupted, eyeing her.

He noticed the way the hollow of her throat emphasized with her inhale as her lips sealed for a second, her shoulders tensing the slightest bit. She was quick to relax, her fingers playing with the loose skirt of her dress. “Yeah, I ate not too long ago.”

“Did you?” He questioned skeptically.

“I did.” Kagome nodded.

The hanyou looked over to the tall guard at the far end of the room, standing next to the woman he’d seen more often than Kagome in the last twenty-four hours. “You the one who’s watching her?”

“I am.”

“What’s your name?”

“Shinosuke.”

“Has she eaten? She tends to not be able to stomach much when she’s uncomfortable or anxious.”

Kagome stiffened at the correct observation. She hadn’t realized Inuyasha paid attention to the mundane details of her characteristics, especially well enough to be able to relay it to others. That was something she didn’t much talk about, nor necessarily know when or how to bring up. So, she’d eat a little when food was placed before her to curb worry, but when her stomach told her to stop, she’d heed the warning.

Shinosuke fought his smug grin, watching the conjurer slowly duck her head. Though he couldn’t see her face from where he stood, he knew - just fucking knew - she was blushing again. Yeah, okay. They’re friends, alright.

“She had some fruit a couple of hours ago. Didn’t eat it all.”

“Just fruit?” Inuyasha’s attention shifted back to Kagome.

“More than you’ve eaten.” She remarked.

He chuckled lightly. She had him there. “I’ll share with you. I’m not that hungry, either.”

“We can go get her her own plate. It’s no trouble at all.” The housemaid on his left said, but Inuyasha shook his head.

“We’ll share. It’s fine.” It was his own way of protecting her from feeling obligated to eat more than she could handle out of sheer courtesy.

Kagome looked at the food as he placed the tray on his lap. The heavier stuff was incredibly unappealing. It looked like it tasted great, but the thought of eating it had her tummy turning upside down. In silent communication to her partner, she glanced from the meal to the hanyou, sucking in her bottom lip nervously.

Inuyasha understood what she was conveying. She really couldn’t eat too much right now. “You like strawberries, right?”

“Mhm.” She hummed, her tone small.

“Here.” Inuyasha picked the strawberries out of his bowl, putting them in the corner of the tray nearest her.

“But -“

“I don’t like them.” He lied. Inuyasha knew she was about to reject, not wanting to take the option of something sweet from him that he may enjoy, but he really didn’t care. He wanted her to eat, and if she liked them, she could have them all.

Both Shinosuke and Wakana had pressed their lips firmly together to hide their grins, giving each other little side glances as their surprise continued to escalate. Their hanyou guest was now eating, something Wakana couldn’t get him to do no matter how much she'd tried. How did Kagome question anything? How did she not see what everyone else could see? It was innocent and adorable, and a crime to interrupt.

“Ladies, let’s give them some space.” Wakana suggested, clapping her hands together once. “There’s no need for us to be here right now.”

The few staff in the room bowed slightly in compliance and rose to leave, the patter from their feet heard as they trailed toward the door.

“I’ll be back in a little while to give you some medicine. If you need anything in the meantime, we’ll be down the hall.”

Finally, they were left alone. Inuyasha felt the tension in his shoulders relax a little. Having eyes on him all the time was stressful and he fucking hated it. While he knew they were merely being kind and doing their jobs, it was still something he’d never grow accustomed to. More than that, Kagome was right where she belonged. No one was taking her away, no one was disrupting their time for the moment, and no one was playing bodyguard to the person he was supposed to protect.

“I need you to eat a little bit more than fruit, Kagome.” He tried, tearing off a chunk of his bread for her. “This or rice.”

“Tear that piece in half and you’ve got a deal.” She wagered.

“Nope.” He chuckled again, giving a minor wince from the pain it brought his abdomen. He recovered, hoping she hadn’t seen, but it was Kagome. Of course, she’d noticed. Her brown eyes were large with worry, a frown appearing, and she sat up a little straighter in preparation to help in any way she could had he needed any. “I’m fine.” Inuyasha assured.

She didn’t speak, sights drifting down to his bandaging. It was like she was waiting for blood to reappear.

“Hey,” The hanyou reached forward, taking her chin in his fingers and bringing her attention back up to his face. “Stop it. I’m okay. Eat the bread.”

“Your arm -“

“I can move it.” He mentioned, releasing her and giving her the chunk he’d torn off. “I just cant reach up or anything. Not yet. Give it another day or two.”

Not wanting to upset him right now, she decided not to argue or fight him on eating. If all he was requesting was for her to eat a few pieces of strawberries and a small chunk of bread, she could handle that.

He’d eaten as much as he could too, and as soon as they were finished, he placed the tray off to his side, leaving it there to be forgotten. Inuyasha went right back to taking the conjurer in, allowing the image of her in that dress to burn into the forefront of his mind. That soft shade of pink complimented her so well, especially when her face tinted just a bit darker. The glitter on her cheeks was a nice touch, but her hair dressed half up the way it was suited her so fucking well. It was cute. She was gorgeous. He was awestruck.

Kagome had caught him looking, quickly growing shy. Remembering the lower cut of her bust, Kagome covered the cleavage that showed, desperately not wanting to make him uncomfortable right now. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” Inuyasha was swift to assure, reaching for her wrist and pulling it away. “Go back to how you were.”

Her skin was warm, and as her hand landed on her thigh, his own wandered down, playing with the fabric over it.

“Do you like it?” She asked curiously.

“Don’t make me answer that.” He tried not to let his tone convey how imperative it was that she didn’t push him in that direction. Inuyasha would lose his composure. He was already riding a fine line, but if he said yes, he’d feel compelled to further admit just how dangerous it was for him to be so near her while she looked like this. His heart wasn’t fairing well as it was. He wasn’t sure he could handle voicing that on top of it.

Kagome couldn’t help but grow increasingly nervous. He seemed hardened, maybe a little put off. Even though his fingers were continuously playing with the length of her dress, skimming her thigh over and over, she couldn’t help but worry with that answer that the clothing didn’t suit her as well as she’d thought.

“Do you hate it?” She unintentionally asked, her voice carrying smaller.

Amber eyes shot up to hers, then drifted down over the curve of her body. He hadn’t meant to come off any sort of negative way, though he understood how it’d happened. Hate. It was laughable to imagine that, given his current state of mind. If she had a way in, she’d understand that hate was far from what he actually felt.

“No. Not at all.” Inuyasha answered, sucking in a breath to keep himself grounded. Her scent was heavy and soothing, and as he found himself staring at her plush lips, he realized that the strawberry tint had him wanting to kiss her now more than any other time he’d considered it. Unfortunately, he couldn’t even blame the medicine for the thoughts that wouldn’t quiet this time. In an attempt to silence them anyway, he continued to speak. “Where did this come from?”

“Wakana. She likes to make dresses.” Kagome answered, a smile curving her lips upward.

“Is she the lady that woke us up this morning?”

“Yeah, that’s her. She’s the headman’s daughter.”

“Oh, that’s right. I vaguely remember her mentioning that, but I was fucking out of it when she did.”

“She’s super nice. Unfortunately, my clothes didn’t survive, so I’m stuck borrowing some until we figure something out. She mentioned making me something, but it might be easier for everyone if we just head to a shop.” She said, fighting her instinct to adjust her dress again.

“Did your bodice make it?” Inuyasha smirked teasingly. As he watched a dramatic pout form on her lips, he really had to put effort into not laughing. The motion would only hurt him, and he wasn’t sure she needed that right now - though she’d have to deal with the amused expression he couldn’t hide.

“It tore.” Kagome whined.

“Called it.”

“Shut up.” She gave a light smack on his thigh, her pout remaining.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed the bandage on her head, or the one on her knuckles, and it was impossible to ignore the scrape he’d gotten a peek at on the back of her shoulder and the redness that didn’t belong on her cheekbone. It just wasn’t something he wanted to talk about first. Now that they were in the realm of the subject, Inuyasha grabbed her hand, pulling her to lean closer to him so he could push her bangs out of the way. No blood seeped through the bandage, so at least he knew it wasn’t bad. Still, his memory of her condition was extremely foggy.

He hadn’t forgotten the horrible amount of blood staining her stomach and arm, though. How could he? That, unfortunately, stayed with him even while he was unconscious. Without warning, Inuyasha’s palm found her waist and he pressed against it gently, feeling for wrappings he was worried she would lie about. When he felt nothing, his hand continued to travel over the general area he’d remembered the blood being in. If she winced, he’d feel awful but at least he’d know she was wounded and couldn’t keep it from him.

“What are you doing?” Kagome asked, concerned. Inuyasha didn’t answer, but his earlier amusement had gradually vanished, shifting to something pressing and off. His jaw was clenched, but instead of the furrowed look of his brow she’d grown used to, it was curved upward in distress.

The only flinch she’d made was when he pinched around her ribs, and he knew he’d only tickled her; it wasn’t one of pain. Still, he searched, breaking from her abdomen momentarily to pull her right arm out of the part in the loose sleeve, looking for signs of wounds. The flesh wasn’t broken at all along her forearm, but still she’d been covered in blood. She’d said it wasn’t hers, but there was so much. There was so fucking much. It was like he was realizing his worst fear, and all that flashed through his mind was how that green shirt clung to her stomach wherever the crimson had soaked.

“Were you hurt? What happened, Kagome?” He finally asked, once more touching her waist to feel if he’d missed something.

“I’m fine.” She’d stated, almost unsure. But, then it clicked. She understood what he was looking for. “No, no. That blood wasn’t mine. I was attacked by a demon, but that was his blood. I swear.”

“Kagome, how the fuck…” It wasn’t that he was exasperated. It was that he desperately needed to know. He’d agitated his nerves just now, and all he could think about was her hurt, mortally wounded while he couldn’t get to her.

“Do you want to see? Would that help? There’s nothing there, I promise.”

“Show me.” The hanyou hastily agreed.

She was quick to oblige, reaching for a clean towel off to the side. Skillfully, she shoved it beneath her dress to blanket the upper portion of her thighs, covering up what didn’t need to be seen as she then pulled the skirt up to expose her tummy. Kagome allowed him to look as long as he needed, to feel the skin of her abdomen, to reach around to her back and feel for any bandages or wounds - the both of them ignoring his grunt and wince as he leaned forward for better reach.

“It wasn’t mine.” Kagome swore again, lowering her garment as he sat back against the wall. She discarded the towel and breathed out, ready to relay the events that had unfolded. “The demon came out of nowhere, and grabbed me from behind. My arrows spilled everywhere, so it turned into a head-on fight. I got him pretty good.” She smirked with the hint of pride, raising her right hand as she looked down at her bandaging.

Inuyasha tenderly took her fingers, bringing it closer to him. Her knuckles were wrapped tight, and to his dismay, there was the slightest hint of pink poking through the off-white wrappings. He didn’t release her hand. He didn’t want to. He lightly stroked his thumb over her wound, lowering it to his thigh to hold there as he glanced back at her to get the rest of the story.

“The blood came from me stabbing him. He was on top of me so I used my dagger to get him in the side.”

“With purification?” He inquired.

“Of course.” Kagome answered.

“So, he’s dead?”

The memory of the demon’s body collapsing on top of her lit up in her mind, and her throat tightened. Swallowing thickly to try and subdue the discomfort, to try and keep it all from view so Inuyasha didn’t have that to add to his list of worries as well, Kagome took in a breath and nodded. “Yes. He’s dead.”

The hanyou let that information sink in, remaining quiet as he now held her hand with the both of his. His thumbs played over the bandaging, calloused skin scratching on the cloth’s surface, but when it skimmed down to her soft flesh, he felt a small sense of peace spread over him. So, he kept up that action, over and over rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles and toward the uncovered skin, then back. She took care of herself, just like she’d proved she could. Just like he knew she could. He would have felt better ripping that fucker to shreds, though. He’d said it before and he’ll say it as many times as necessary: no one touches Kagome.

Still, he was extremely proud of her. She held her own and then appeared in the nick of time to help his ass out. What a fucking woman.

“In that case, you look pretty good for someone who went toe-to-toe with a demon.” He lightly chuckled.

“Thank you.” She playfully grinned, raising her shoulders in feigned smugness. “I had to show him who was boss.”

“Honestly, I’m starting to think you could actually kick my ass.”

“Nah, that guy was just cocky and talked too much. I used all of that against him, pinned him down, and punched him in the face.”

“You punched him in the face?” He laughed, regretting it but that time he was able to properly hide his discomfort.

“Yes!” Kagome tightened the fingers he held. “He had sharp teeth, so it cut my knuckle, that jerk. But, I still got him.”

She was fucking cute as all hell as she raised her left arm and flexed her bicep, the slit in the long sleeves opening to fall away so he could see the definition. It brought the biggest smile to Inuyasha’s face. She really was okay. She was perfect.

“So, I take it you saw?” Inuyasha had to ask, his grin dwindling to a small, careful one. He found himself needing to know what was going through her mind. Why was she so anxious? Sure, it was unpleasant to be separated while he was wounded; he could see himself physically throwing people off of him that tried to keep him away from her had their positions been swapped. But, he remembered the way she looked when she came in last night. He vividly remembered her visible fear, the frown, but worst of all, there was a vague remembrance of her expression this morning. When Wakana woke them up and Kagome noticed his stomach. The way she’d stopped breathing and looked damn close to panicking. Of course, she’d seen the extent of his damage. He’d hoped she hadn’t seen it uncovered. But, had she seen it take place? “Moryomaru, when he… Did you?”

Her own smile faded then, and after a deep breath, she scooted herself a little closer to his torso, careful of how she leaned on his hip. She took one of his hands then, placing it in her lap as she busied herself, running her fingers over the lines of his palm. Brown eyes could no longer meet amber, instead staring down at the trail she left over his skin. It had been impossible to get that image out of her mind. Kagome knew it was something that, much like Shinosuke had mentioned, would stick with her forever. The only reason it wasn’t crippling her was because she knew Inuyasha was alive, and his condition was only improving.

“Yeah,” She breathed. “I saw.”

“Ah, fuck.” Inuyasha groaned. “I was really fucking hoping you hadn’t since you were busy fighting someone.”

“Our fight ended just before.”

“Kid, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Her gaze shot up to his, her upper lip curled in question. “For what?”

“If I had seen that happen to you, I would have lost my mind. I can only imagine what you felt watching that. I didn’t mean to make you worry. Fuck, that’s why you haven’t been eating, isn’t it?”

She softened, allowing her fingers to trail over the veins of his forearm for a moment. When her nail gently skimmed the thin skin of his inner elbow, she noticed a small twitch from him. A tickle spot.

“No, that’s not it.” Kagome admitted, the corners of her lips very subtly raising. “Well, I guess it’s a contribution, but really it’s because I miss you. I should be right next to you so I know you’re okay every second of the day, but I can’t be and I don’t like that. I don’t feel content not hearing you call me an idiot or kid or something mean because you’re unconscious, and not being able to help in any way doesn’t sit right with me. But, I also understand that they’re right to pull me away. You need to rest. And, you wouldn’t with me here.”

She was breaking him. He could feel any remaining borders between them beginning to shatter like glass with each statement she spoke. Her sincerity was his welcomed demise. The power Kagome had over him with her honesty was so much more incredible than Inuyasha could have ever imagined, and his heart climbed into his throat. How did she say that all so easily? How did she brighten even the worst of his days? She missed him.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, he caught the sound of walking approaching. Inuyasha outwardly cursed, knowing that it was Wakana coming to force his next dose down his throat and Kagome’s temporary guard coming to take her away. With the remaining seconds he had, he looked back to the conjurer, bringing her right hand to his lips as he kissed her damaged knuckle just before releasing her.

“Sneak back over tonight.”

Kagome’s heart gave a heavy thump inside of her ribcage, damn near bruising the bones in its excitement. With a nervous agreement, Kagome nodded, trying to keep composure as even she caught the footsteps and comprehended his reaction.

The door slid open and in walked Wakana, the housemaid Kagome had threatened the day before, and Shinosuke with his notorious smirk. The housemaid remained by the wall, visibly uncomfortable as she refused to make eye contact with either she or Inuyasha. With a grimace, Kagome’s attention flew over to her companion, silently communicating with an awkward but amused expression that she knew exactly what the girl’s stiffness was about.

Inuyasha read her well. He’d remembered her mentioning she’d almost fought someone to stay with him, and given the housemaids opposition to near either, and Kagome’s humored but ashamed smile, along with the way her eyes flickered between the woman and he, he put two-and-two together. With as much effort he could muster, he tried - really tried - to fight back his laughter. For the sake of the housemaid’s dignity, Kagome’s embarrassment, and his sore abdomen. Still, a small snort left his nose, and he ducked his head to the side to try and further stifle it.

“Matsu, would you mind brewing the tea? Remember, three dashes this time.” Wakana spoke, putting her aid to work. The woman gave a feeble nod, immediately doing as requested but still keeping her head low.

“That woman’s fine whenever you’re not around.” Inuyasha whispered to Kagome, giving a small tug to a section of her free length of hair. Another amused but embarrassed grimace came from her in response as she covered her grin with her hand so that Matsu wouldn’t see how funny this was to her. “You fucking troublemaker.”

“Ready to go?” Shinosuke asked from the doorway.

Kagome peered at him from over her shoulder, curling her upper lip in disdain before turning back to Inuyasha.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Wait.” He ordered quietly just as she began to stand, wagging his finger so she’d lean in closer. As she did, her brows arched in curiosity, he asked, “This guy, is he trustworthy? Do you feel safe with him?”

“Well, he skillfully protected me from a ten year old so far, so he’s not half bad.”

“Seriously, Kagome.” He deadpanned.

“Um, I’m - I’m not lying.” She liked that Inuyasha couldn’t help but crack half a smile there as he rolled his eyes. “He’s attentive, and pretty cool. Likes to joke around, but I can tell he’s serious about his duties. Follows me everywhere -“

“Has he touched you?”

“Yeah, but only appropriately. Unless he’s being a jerk and carrying me out of the room over his shoulder.”

“Like I’m about to.” Shinosuke commented with a chuckle, strutting forward. “You know, you two don’t whisper as quietly as you think you do.”

Inuyasha leveled a glare at the guard as he kneeled right beside Kagome, looking him once over.

“What’s up?” He asked, smiling, unfazed by the clearly unwelcoming attitude the hanyou presented. “Ah, I get it. You don’t know me, so you don’t know if you can trust me with Kagome here. Alright, what would you like to know? Name’s Shinosuke, I’m twenty-four, used to be a chubby kid, favorite color’s red, I like long walks on the beach -“

“Knock it off.” Inuyasha drawled. “You’re not making me like you.”

“Not trying to. That’s not in my pay grade.”

“Shinosuke!” Wakana warned, approaching. “Inuyasha, I’m sorry. He’s got awful people skills, but he is in charge of our guards. With everything you two did for our people, and with how protective papa noticed you were of Kagome, he felt it would give you peace of mind to know our very best was watching over her.”

“Just leave her with me. She’ll be fine. She doesn’t want to go, anyway.”

“And, what’s to happen to her while you’re in your medicinally-induced coma?” Shinosuke challenged, that smug grin never fading.

“Kagome can take care of herself.”

“So, you’d rather she be left alone to worry about you. Alright. Makes my life easier.” He shrugged, rising to a stand.

“Oh, you son of a bitch.” Inuyasha ground out through clenched teeth. He turned to Wakana. “I don’t like the mind games he plays.”

Wakana quickly used the back of her hand to slap Shinosuke’s arm, silently reprimanding him with her scowl. The guard winced, grimacing but still laughing.

“What? I got through to him.”

“Just take her.” Inuyasha rolled his eyes pridefully, giving Kagome’s thigh one last stroke of his palm.

“You heard the man. Come on, tiny might.” Shinosuke boasted, reaching to grab the back of Kagome’s dress and lift her up.

“That name again?” She complained, following his leverage and quickly standing.

“By the way, you don’t have to worry about me touching her inappropriately.” He said down to Inuyasha as the half demon ground his jaw uncomfortably. “Not that kind of guy, and I’m pretty sure your girl here would twist my pinky off. Not to mention,” He gestured to Wakana. “Fiancee.”

It took a small moment, but after watching Wakana nod in reassurance, Inuyasha found himself relaxing slightly. He still wasn’t a fan of the fact that someone else was looking over Kagome, but it surprisingly eased him a lot to know that there was no physical or romantic attraction taking place. Especially while Kagome looked as she did now. Inuyasha found his shoulders dropping an inch, his frown lessening, and a nod of acknowledgment coming forward.

Without another word, Shinosuke grabbed Kagome’s shoulders and guided her toward the door, stopping after just a few steps to make her face the incoming housemaid that carried the brewed tea over.

“See, Matsu. She’s harmless.”

The woman tensed considerably and ducked her head, eyes landing on the floor while her hands wrapped around the tray even tighter. Kagome was taken aback by the woman’s trepidation, her jaw dropping as she couldn’t help but look back over at Inuyasha. Never in her life had she caused a single person to fear her as much as this woman currently did. Not even her younger brother took her this seriously.

“She’s harmless!” Shinosuke urged, laughing. Even he was surprised by the housemaid’s reaction.

“She - uh - she killed Moryomaru, sir.” Matsu softly said as a way to prove Kagome was, in fact, not harmless.

“You know what, I’ll give it to you. You’ve got me there.” The guard bobbed his head. “You seem fine around Inuyasha, though.”

Matsu didn’t say anything. She merely stood there, eyes on the tray of herbal tea as she bounced from foot-to-foot.

“You - you realize he’s half demon, don’t you?”

“I am aware, sir.” She answered.

“Kagome, you damn ruffian.” Shinosuke snickered, shoving her toward the exit and away from the apprehensive housemaid. “You’re seriously gonna tell me the nickname’s still undeserved?”

“I’m sorry!” She guffawed, stumbling, once more looking back at Inuyasha as she laughed. The hanyou merely watched her exasperatedly, his large hand swiping down his face as he silently communicated his dumbfounded nature.

“You scarred the poor girl!” Shinosuke jokingly harassed, pushing her out the door.

Just before she disappeared, she shared one last, bright smile with Inuyasha, waving goodbye to him with the promise to see him soon.

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