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kyuuviix · 4 months

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NSFW Alphabet

Laios Touden from Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon

let's go lol

afab reader guys

A - Aftercare. what're they like after sex?

- this man is so fucking sweet with you. whether you were the one taking control or you were the one on the bottom, he's quick to comfort you. he has an entire mental checklist for after you two are done.

one, he immediately starts cleaning you up, whether it's with his tongue or with an actual wash cloth. regardless, you two are going in the shower.

he cleans you up, asks if you want to eat anything, (you usually say no out of wanting to sleep- but either way he'll be stirring something up in the kitchen after massaging you down and crooning you to sleep.)

B - Body part. their favorite part of you and themselves.

- laios loves literally ANYTHING about you. he holds all parts of you dearly to his heart and to memory. though, he loves sliding his hands up your shirt to cup your tits if his hands are cold.

bonus points if that turns into something more.

he often finds himself tweaking with your nipples as well, as if testing their perkiness with a light flick. they're so warm and sensitive, he just can't help it.

same thing with your ass or your stomach, though. he'll rest his hands over your abdomen, letting his fingertips delve under the waistband of your panties. he doesn't mean to tease- usually. he just loves how warm you are.

oh and before i forget- he really likes thigh jobs.

his favorite part about himself is probably his hands. he likes how agile they can be, and with some time and practice, he knows how to make you tick easily with just a couple of fingers.

C - Cum. literally anything to do with cum in general. what's the taste and consistency of theirs, do they like the taste of yours? this one's free game.

- it really depends on what position you guys are in or what you two just engaged in.

doggystyle? he's busting all over your back, sorry bout it. missionary? he's glossing it all over your sloppy clit if it's not already drilled into you.

if, in the scenario that he ends up face fucking you, he'll softly grab your head by your hair, his other hand holding his cock as he smears it allll over your face. he loves how it looks.

his cum tastes REALLLL salty. it melts over your tongue when you lap it off of him, and he cums a fair bit. not too much, not too little.

yours usually gets everywhere. he likes burying his head against the pudge on your stomach and scissoring it out of you with his fingers- just to see how wet you've gotten.

he's proud of himself for pushing you over the edge as many times as he did.

also, since we all know this man is a professional pussy eater, he enjoys the taste too.

D - Dirty Secret. what's something dirty that they've done that'll come to light during sex?

- laios is an open book. everything that comes to light during sex is usually expected.

what can he say? he's a simple man.

E - Experience. how experienced are they?

- he's inexperienced. no experience, like at all. it's not like he hasn't been exposed to it and that he's clueless about everything- but he hadn't done it with anyone before. he often fantasized about losing his first time to you, though.

luckily he did.

F - Favorite Position. how do they like to take you?

- he's not picky. any position really works, but prone bone is probably his favorite. (eugh the name sounds so unappealing.). it's something about the way he's pressed up so tightly against you, how your legs kick up and flail while he humps his hips down against your ass.

he can't help it- you sound so cute getting pumped full in this position! he can't be mean to you through his words, he's too soft for you, but damn, he'll express it through his thrusts. you can tell he's close when his hips are dragging against your bruised ass, his heavy torso slabbed on your back.

he starts whining a lot, a free hand parting your hair out of your face as he starts incoherently rambling about how good you feel.

he loves that position a little too much.

(bonus! he also adores the cowgirl position, only when he's sitting up though so he can shove his head in your tits.)

G - Goofy. are they more serious in the moment, or more relaxed and humorous?

- laios is such a big goofball and uses humor often in his day to day life when things get a bit serious.

when you two are doing it, that doesn't really change much. he finds himself falling into it though, he's so lovey dovey that he can't help it.

he talks a lot throughout it, whether he's in that headspace where he's so into it that everything's just pooling out of him, or whether he's chuckling at the way you frown at his fingers moving a bit too slow for you.

tldr; he's a bit goofy.

H - Hair. how well groomed are they?

- he does trim it up a bit here and there, but he never just shaves it all off. it's there for a reason, right? plus, don't think he doesn't notice how your eyes trail down the light dusting of hair that disappears under the band of his boxers.

he's been walking around shirtless way more since he last caught that.

I - Intimacy. what're they like during it? romantically.

- he's so sweet. when he's really deep in, his palms meet your face and your eyes meet his. they're so foggy- but so full of love, if he had a tail, it would be wagging.

he can only nuzzle into your neck and trail sloppy kisses all over you, can only murmur and pant into your ear about how much he loves you, how kind you are and how pretty you look.

he's shamelessly rutting into you, parted lips coated with drool as he huffed into your ear.

"s-ooo pretty..."

he's a lover boy <3

J - Jack off. masturbation hcs.

- he hates it when you're away for long. having you in his vicinity is enough for his needs to go back to normal. but when you're away, he gets incredibly lonely sometimes, and eventually- horny.

he doesn't use your panties to masturbate. he uses that one shirt of his that you basically stole from his closet. he finds it so attractive when you wear his clothes, especially if you wear nothing underneath 'em.

if you're around and he gets the occasional bulge in his pants, he'll just nestle up besides you and press his nose against the shell of your ear, a hand on your hip and the other on your inner thigh.

"can i...get a little bit of help?"

K - Kink. what are they into? what kinks do they have alongside the skeletons in their closet?

- okay, we all already know he has a food kink, that's common knowledge. honey, frosting, whip-cream, maybe melted chocolate, just pour it all over. not too much though, he might need it later.

he likes it when you cry, though, as weirdly out of character that might sound.

in the sense that you're crying out of pure pleasure. it's so much that tears are slipping out of your eyes and running down your face. you're not crying because you're upset, or that something bad happened, you're just crying because you're being stuffed so good right now.

also...okay, maybe a slight breeding kink. very slight. he's kept it from you, but he's obsessed with the idea of having kids with you. he wants to be the best father there is, in comparison to how shit his father treated him. and he sees you as the perfect match for it.

he always did want his own family, so if you'll allow a creampie here and there- he'll be the happiest man in the world.

L - Location. favorite places to get down n dirty???

- he's not a public place typa guy, you'll have to get him REALLY excited for him to get horny enough to fuck you somewhere even semi-public.

the comfort of your house or his is the best in his eyes- though, one time you guys were out on a date in a wide, open field. the sundress you had on was a bit too tempting, and...

spring showers are always nice, right?

M - Motivation. what turns him on? what gets him going?

- over in the jack off section i noted that he loves it when you wear his clothes, right? well, yeah. pull on one of his shirts, unbutton it down a little and wear nothing else, that's the cheat code.

he also likes it when you dote on him here n there, fussing over him and coddling. it just shows that you care a lot for him. also shows that you'll be a perfect mother but whatever.

a quick makeout session never fails to rile him up either, the feel of your hands running through his hair, the way your thighs straddle over the fat on his stomach, god, you're perfect.

oh, also, invite him into the shower. he'll DEFINITELY enjoy that.

N - NO. something they wouldn't do.

- okay, he's obviously against literally anything outlandish, like scat play or piss play or whatever. one thing he can't really stomach is the idea of hurting you during it. like, if you ask him to slap you or something. he'll definitely be against the idea for a while until you convince him to try it after more reassurance.

he's also somewhat against gags, he just loves being able to hear you- if you're coherent enough in the first place. he wants to kiss you, slip his tongue in your mouth, hear your moans and pleas, and a gag stops all of that.

O - Oral. do they prefer giving, receiving, what's their skill?

- he's absolutely obsessed with eating you out. the way you hump upwards into his lips, the way your walls clamp and squeeze around his fingers and tongue. even the perspective he's looking at you from is absolutely delightful.

your slickness usually ends up coating a whole lot of his face, from the nose down- and he's hooked. you make the ranking on his top ten favorite things to eat.

sit on this man's face, please. he'll praise you for doing so, especially when you take control and start mindlessly riding and humping down on his lips. get lost in it, truly, he loves it.

he prefers eating you out, but when you decide to go down on him and suck him off, it's almost unfair to pit them against each other- your mouth is amazing.

you do this thing where you lull your tongue over the veins around his frenulum, suckling slowly as you progress down to his balls, taking one into your mouth.

your hands simultaneously jerk at him as you play tricks with your tongue.

the obscene noises clicking out of his throat tells you enough about how he's liking it.

P - Pace. are they fast n rough, or slow and sensual?

- it always depends on how needy either of you get. he likes taking time with you, and will start out slow and and sensual, after all- he doesn't want to hurt you.

but sometimes he finds himself getting a bit too excited. maybe specifically after finding something or experimenting with a flower that's sex pollen adjacent, he'll be all on you the moment he comes home.

if he's been away from home for a while? he's all over you.

and he's usually way faster. instead of being handsy with you and dragging the foreplay out, he's desperate, thumbing your panties to the side and sinking himself into you quickly.

Q - Quickie. how often? how do they feel about them?

- he's not against them, but the only time you guys do quickies is if he's going somewhere soon or you're going somewhere soon. he wants to spend his time with you during sex.

R - Risk. do they like experimenting, or taking risks?

- at first, yeah, he's down. he needs to know what you like to please you, right? he's happy to know what excites you and turns you on. one of the things he's definitely willing to try out is bondage.

he thinks it'd be fun- not just in the sexual aspect.

S - Stamina. how many rounds can he last? what's his stamina like?

- alright, this is where it gets a bit tricky. his stamina is finicky, it depends on how needy he is- so maybe a good 2-3 rounds?

he usually tries his best to keep up with your sex drive, so if you want more, you'll get more.

if he hadn't seen you for like months, expect a solid night of passion, so maybe around 4 rounds?

T - Toys. is he game to use toys? does he own any, does he use them on you?

- he ORIGINALLY didn't have any... the ones he does have are because of you- not that he bought them, but you bought some FOR him.

you will never forget how rosy his cheeks burned when you waved around a strap-on with a smirk on your face.

he'll admit, he was curious. so you two tried it.

best thing ever.

his brain is melting as your hips meet the curve of his ass yet again, the silicone material angling against that weakened spot in his walls.

he clenches his teeth once more, oh, it hurts but it feels like heaven.

he's got an elbow propped up against the mattress, his dominant hand pumping his runny cock with another weak cry.

"wowww, you're dripping everywhere. you really like this, don't you?"

he can only respond with a dry huff, spit dribbling over the plump skin on his bottom lip.

"f-feels soo goooood..."

laios' voice is breaking with each word, poor thing sounds like he's nearly crying.

it brings a new high of excitement to the both of you...and something (laios) tells you this isn't gonna be the last time you use this.

U - Unfair. how often do they tease you?

- often. this is like, one of his favorite things to do. around the house, in the shower, it's insane how badly this man wants you.

while you guys are watching something, he'll pull you onto his lap and let his hands play with you, and sometimes you'll feel a weird poking sensation against your ass and then you connect the dots.

while relaxing, he'll sink his teeth into the soft fat of your thighs- just for fun! he likes biting you, just because you're so warm and any part of you feels perfect against his teeth.

while you're doing anything, he'll wrap his arms over your shoulders and pepper kisses over your head. he just loves touching you, sometimes he means to tease, other times he doesn't.

V - Volume. how loud are they?

- whether he's on bottom or top, he makes quite the bit of noise. let's say that there's a line for volume, like a TV. the middle of the bar, 50, is his normal talking voice. 0 is when he's being silent, and 100 is screaming at the top of his lungs.

if he's on top, he's usually like a 40-45. on bottom? easily a 55-60.

now, if you're pegging him, put his head in a pillow and pray. he's so weak to it, he loses his voice sometimes.

this also depends on where you guys are. is his party around? you'll do whatever you can to muffle his moans, because sometimes he just forgets.

in the safety of your house, though??? yeah, that's a wrap.

W - Wild card. any random head cannon?

- he loves it when you play with his nipples while milking him dry, he effectively turns to mush at the feeling of you tweaking and playing with them whilst sloppily jerking him off or playing with his prostate.

oh, especially if you're sucking on them. he's all yours to play with and he's happy to announce that.

same thing with a blowjob, but when you do this thing where you flicker your tongue against his v-line. it sets him on fire.

X - X-ray. what's going on in those pants?

- his cock is pretty girthy. give or take, maybe 3 inches in circumference? 5 inches soft and 6.5-7.5 inches hard?

it leans to the right a little bit and curves upwards when erect.

hey, it's up to your personal interpretation. 😞

Y - Yearning. how high is their sex drive?

usually not high at all. when you're around, the need for such things can dissipate- for a short amount of time. he doesn't know why, but it's probably because your relationship with him is perfect, there's not much of a need for it.

buuuut, that said, he does enjoy it...a lot.

Z - ZZZ. how quickly do they fall asleep?

- if he successfully satiates your sexual needs and follows through with the usual aftercare, he's out like a log. when you go down on him and he finally cums, he's already dozing off.

on the occasion that you both are lazy and just wanna go to sleep after, he flexes his biceps around you tightly and holds you to his chest whilst rubbing soothing patterns on your back. and you two fall into slumber immediately.

sometimes he finds himself still on top of you and tries to roll off, hoping he wasn't bothering you.

but your body protests. you're quick to pull him back over you, mumbling a lazy 'nuh uh, stay.'

a dopey smile spreads over his lower jaw.

yeah, he's gonna be staying for a loooong time.

i really like this one lol ngl lol, uhhh sorry if this is like yk ooc to any of you???

if i read back on this and see any spelling errors i WILL be deleting my entire blog /j

edit: i forgot y. hitting the delete button as we speak

#delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dunmeshi laios #laios touden x reader #laios x reader #laios thorden #laius dungeon meshi #laois #laios dungeon meshi #laios touden #delicious in dungeon laios

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starlightsuffered · 1 month

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Possessive

Info - mommy kink, possessive sub, jealousy, knife kink, cutting body (not as SH), branding, dry humping, breast suckling, blood licking, cumming in pants, pain kink, a little baby talk

“You want this don’t you baby boy?” I asked him. He looked so nervous. His dark hair was damp with sweat. His long pale fingers were shaking as they held the switch blade.

This was a heady experience. I was under him. He held a sharpened dagger, and I had every bit of the power.

I caressed his sharp angles. He turned his head so he kissed my palm. He nuzzled into it like a cat. He was such a sweet boy, but I also liked the dark possessive side he had. I knew I could bring it out with a little bit of coaxing.

“Don’t you remember how those boys were looking at me at your Quidditch match?” I cooed. His face instantly twisted. He looked angry.

I smirked at him. He was holding his weapon more steadily now. He bit his bottom lip.

“You’re not theirs,” he said in a low voice.

“No I'm not,” I said in a coo. “But they were looking at me quite a lot.”

“Mmmm,” he nearly growled. His cock twitched though both of us were clothed other than my shirt that laid on the dormitory floor.

“You loved that outfit, remember Reggie?” I asked him. I ran my hand down his tanned arm. Some of him was more golden now that it was qudditch season. He remained wiry but there was something muscle here and there.

“I do,” he shuddered, the bulge in his pants growing ever so slightly. He was so damn easy.

“The colours of your house. Those small, itty bitty green and silver triangles covering mommy’s hard nipples. Those tiny little black shorts that showed off my bum. The one you love to bury your face in and feast.”

“Ohhhh mommy,” he moaned. He let himself close his eyes and hump a little between my legs. All the while I rubbed his thighs.

“But all those boys were looking at allll my mommy parts,” I reminded him. His hips stopped jerking and his eyes flew open.

“No! Tu es ma maman, seulement la mienne!” He nearly shouted. He always turned to French in frustration.

“Then make it Offcial angel boy,” I hummed. “Mark mommy as yours.”

“You sure?” He panted. His eyes were glowing and wild.

“I look good in red dont I?” I chuckled.

“Sooooo good mommy,” he melted. “You look beautiful in everything though mon amour.”

“Thank you baby, now do what you want please. Claim your mommy. Mark me as yours and only yours. I know you want mommy forever. If you brand me, I’ll never forget who my subby baby is,” I explained.

“Right,” he nodded with determination.

He took the knife and placed it to an area just under my breasts. He began to carve the words I’d instructed him to write. “Mommy of R.A.B”

It stung a little but the sensation was mostly pleasurable. I felt my baby boy’s cock absolutely straining and throbbing as he marked me. He knew the scar would make everyone at his Quidditch match wide eyed with disbelief. He would thrill at the idea of me being so claimed, and so his.

“It’s bleeding,” he mumbled anxiously.

“Lick up your mess then,” I told him, grabbing the hair on the back of his head and guiding him. He gasped with lust at the taste of me.

“This is so…. So intimate mommy. I’m so leaky,” he admitted.

“I know baby, you’re doing so well. You can suckle and lick my scar whenever you want. I know you love having a mommy all for you,” I soothed his worried thoughts of me leaving him one day.

I palmed him over his pants as he finished his job. I looked down and saw the bloody letter that were upside down to me. Regulus dipped to lap up blood again.

He looked sexy with his lips swollen from biting and dark red staining them. His hair fell in front of his eyes and he looked pitiful. However, he was also excited because he knew what came next. If he was possessive I was doubly so, and I wasn’t going to let him get away without his own brand.

He laid against me. He took a deep inhale of my skin. Finally, he took off my bra, releasing my breasts. A muffled noise of need escaped him. His lips wrapped around my hard nipple. He relaxed into me and began to suck.

I would be writing “mommy’s property” on his back between his collar bones. I hoped I wouldn’t hurt too much. I wanted to mark him, but I didn’t want it to be hurtful and not arousing. He was still rock hard against me so I assumed he was good.

He was still eagerly suckling and melting fully into me. He was always his happiest on my breast. I set the sharp tip against his soft skin.

“This is it baby boy. I’ll really own you now, I have a permanent mark on your skin. You’re all mine forever. I’m going to brand you, and everyone will know you’re a sweet little mommy’s boy.”

“Ohhhhh, mommy,” he said in a muffled voice.

I began to carve into his skin. I made the first line of the capital M and something unexpected but amazing happened. Regulus groaned in the most high pitched whine I’d ever heard. He humped forward, and I felt warmth begin to spread on his crotch. He bucked and whimpered throughout the unexpected orgasm.

“Awwww, baby, did you make cummies without meaning to?” I asked, petting his hair.

“Sorry mommy,” he sniffed. “I liked the pain more than I thought.”

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet t @vvsdreaming

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flowerxbunnie · 10 months

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idk if you did it already but i neeeed your version of the nsfw alphabet ( matt or chris idrc i just need it ) 😩😩

NSFW Alphabet

Matthew Sturniolo

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH SMUT OR ARE A MINOR

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s an angel when it comes to aftercare! He rubs your back (or your legs if you bounced on him for a while) and def makes sure you get cleaned up, he’s deathly afraid of you getting a UTI 😂

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself is his waist, we’ve ALLLL seen the way this man loves a slutty little slightly cropped shirt. He knows he looks good

His favorite on you is your back. He loves the way he can see the two lines of muscle running down your spine and the dip in the middle as he’s hitting it from the back. Also the way he can stick his thumbs into the little dimples at the bottom 😏

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man is OBSESSEDDDD with seeing you swallow his cum. He thinks it’s the hottest thing ever when you stick your tongue out to show him you swallowed every drop

If you’re not feeling down for swallowing it, he’ll go for whatever you want!

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

….we all know at this point. This man is RUNNING through smutty fics and constantly getting ideas 😈 has a whole folder full of his favs to refer back to

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not a super crazy body count, but he for sure knows what he’s doing and makes sure you’re pleased

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves to watch you bounce on him, he likes that he can see your pretty face and can feel in control when he grabs your hips to guide you, or be more submissive when you hold his hands down

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely makes jokes when the time is right but he likes to keep it serious for the most part!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Kinda like his stubble, he’ll let it grow out for a bit and then give it a nice trim. Never fully bald down there though, he doesn’t like the way it looks 😂

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He LOVES to fuck, but when you make love.. he’s going all out. Throwing out so many compliments, caressing every inch of your skin, lighting candles, picking a playlist of songs. He usually does all the work when he’s feeling lovey dovey too 🥹

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh this man JERKS it. When he’s not with you he will literally call you and beg for you to guide him through it. And if you’re busy you already know he’s going into a hidden folder with plenty of pics and videos of you!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Call me crazy butttt… I think matt would call you his puppy ✋🏻 no elaboration needed

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He lovesssss car sex, especially road head. He loves finding spots to park at and bend you over the hood 😇

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

For some reason he’s really turned on when you cop an attitude with him. He loves to be the one to put you back in your place

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Piss/shit 🚫🚫 he would literally throw up if you even jokingly asked

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Maybe a hot take.. but I think he prefers getting head. Obviously he would never turn down the opportunity to rub his stubble between your thighs 😈 but he loves seeing you work your hardest on your knees to please him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both! He knows the perfect times to switch up his pace to drive you crazyyy. But if he had to pick he would go for slow but deep, rough strokes

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He prefers to take his time and make it a good experience, but he would never turn down a quickie! He loves when you drag him off into a bathroom because you can’t hold out until you get home

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For most things! He’s pretty open minded and is always looking for new ideas and ways to please you/himself

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

1 😂 2 on a good night. He uses so much energy teasing and edging you and when he finally does cum, he is SPENT

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He keeps a bunch of pretty vibes, whips, handcuffs etc to use on you! He doesn’t really prefer them for himself but occasionally will let you hold a bullet vibrator against him while you suck him off 😇😇

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he is SUCH a tease. He’s always pushing you to your limits. He loves to hear you beg and plead

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not a screamer by any means but he makes sure you know when he’s feeling good. He groans and pants a lot, and sometimes a moan will slip out and he always blushes a tiny bit hehe

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He LOVES when you take him lingerie shopping with you. He gets to help you pick out what he’s gonna tear off of you later 😇 good luck in the fitting room btw!

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average by a little, but it’s nice and thick, plenty enough to fill you up. He knows how to work it 🤓

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This man is a freakkkkk. At least 4 times a week if not everyday.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He likes to make sure you feel well taken care of afterwards so he does his best to stay awake and make sure you’re all good before he cleans himself and dozes off!

Taglist: @lustfulslxt @whotfisade @soursturniolo @recklesssturniolo @lxvlysworld @chrisolivia4l @kiarastromboli @mattnchrisworld @cupidsword @kvtie444 @xplrfear @knowingnothingnoel

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo

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isawken · 2 months

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clown eggs!

everyone loves ‘em. most notably, i, some random dumbass, have one. but where do they come from? if you say the clowns lay the eggs i'll fucking cut you this is a history lesson. be serious about clowns for once in your life

clowns international is the oldest operating clown organization. it was founded by a dude named Stan Bult allll the way back in the 1940s. this man was not a clown. he was a chemist. i wish i knew more about him but it's been impossible to get anything more than blurbs, all relating to eggs. i don’t even know what sort of chemistry he did! but he grew up with and liked clowns a lot. so he got an organization together- originally called the International Circus Clowns Club. one thing about our boy Stan is he had an almost cartoonishly-niche hobby: he liked painting hollowed out chicken eggs with the faces of some of the great clowns that preceded his clownpatriots. see some of the below Bult originals:

it didn’t take long for his practice to become enmeshed with the organization. like seriously what self-respecting clown wouldn’t appreciate the absurdity of such a practice. Stan started painting the faces of the org’s contemporary members, both for their own enjoyment and to keep a record of their membership far more interesting than a bunch of dusty ol files. over the next few decades and up until his death in 1966, my man Stan painted over 450 eggs! boy, my cloaca’s sore just thinking about it!

the egg-painting practice died with him. but it wouldn’t stay dead. 20 years after his death the organization, now called Clowns International, was under new management, and they knew the importance of the history they had. they hired a new egg-specific artist and offered (now ceramic) painted eggs to all of their members, for a small fee along with their standard membership fee. for a slightly more expensive fee you can get two eggs- one for the registry, and one to keep in your home for all to see and be very confused by, depending on how much your visitors know about your personal life.

now, i’ve seen some very dramatic statements made about the registry. and i would like to dispel them. no, the organization does not litigate their eggs. there is no Clown Lawyer who keeps tabs on every existing egg and every incoming egg and mediates disputes about suspiciously similar-looking face paint between clowns. you won’t get Clown Sued if your submitted face looks kinda like another’s. the record has only ever been utilized as just that, a record, so if any sort of interpersonal dispute between clowns arose they could rely on their egg’s existence/history to defend themselves against accusations of theft, or vice versa. sorry to disappoint you freaks out there who want clowns to be jerks but it’s just not like that.

clowns international is not the only organization that does an egg registry, but it is the org that started it all, so theirs often come with a level of provenance. and for those of you who have followed me for a while you know what time it is, yeah that’s right, it’s time to PLUG MY OWN EGG AGAIN YEAH THAT’S RIGHT LOOK AT MY EGG

i promise i'll take new pictures of it soon

if you don’t know me and for some reason want to know more about me and my dearest egg i’ve got two posts about it. honestly extremely humble of me considering how up my own ass i am about this life achievement of mine

anyways, even with the societal downswing vis a vis the overarching cultural opinion on clowns, the organization is still going, and still making eggs. and i for one hope the practice never dies out, and that more specific organizations adopt similar practices. like can you imagine a woodworking guild that makes little wooden statuettes of all their members? the clowns are tastemakers and it's time we realize that.

and that’s the short of Clown Egg History! clown’s don’t lay eggs they are humans and they have very human history that is so so interesting and worth spreading and if i see anyone tag this as clown husbandry i cannot stress enough i will go scorched earth on your ass! if you have any questions on this or other clown-related stuff my inbox is always open and i love to spread the good word of Clown. also i’m sorry but i have a podcast to plug:

fully-clown-centric episodes are in the works and i am planning to have them release before the end of the year but until then please check out what i do have if ur interested in fool-related history! i don’t make any money off this i just really want to share the knowledge about fools across history i have learned because i’m insane and care a great deal about it :o)

#happy international clown week everybody!#clown #clowns #clownblr #this post was inspired by: the folks on my post besmirching Clown Code who didn't know about the eggs #i've been meaning to do a lil history post about this for a long time and this is sloppy but i hope it's even just a little informational!#kenposting #Spotify #history #clownposting

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totally-sapphic-posts · 5 months

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hey!! you don’t have to answer this of course, but i was just wondering if you could give me some advice for kissing… and like how on earth it works??

my girlfriend and i had our first kiss yesterday and we were really confused as to how you actually do it…..

thanks!! :) :) :)

So, I will start off by saying that every person has their kissing preferences, things they like, things they don’t like, so feel free to pick and choose what you’d want to try.

• go slow, don’t rush. You’re having a moment, not competing in a race. Personally, too fast feels like someone’s trying to eat your face (weird visual, but yeah 😭).

• if your jaw is straining when/if you open your mouth, your mouth is open too wide.

• if you haven’t done the open mouth kissing yet, but want to try, just open your mouth a bit, you can let your tongue kind of fill the space. At first, it can be just a little tongue, just just out of your mouth to theirs. Then when you get more confident, you can use more tongue. And please, move your tongue 😭 nothing weirder than someone just sticking their tongue in your mouth and staying still.

• when I say moving your tongue around, it kind of rubs against the other person’s tongue. You guys can find a rhythm/movement that works for you.

• some people enjoy lightly sucking the tip of someone’s tongue while kissing. It isn’t too long, just a few seconds. You can try that out once you’ve both got the hang of tongue kissing.

• this might be personal preference, but between kisses, you can suck their bottom lip, or tug it between your lips/lightly between your teeth. A lot of people go feral for this.

• throw in a few light pecks in between before a deep kiss and resuming making out.

• if you feel like they might be getting bored, the next time you switch to pecks, kiss from their lips, to the corner of their mouth, to their cheek and down to their neck. If they tilt their head to give you more access, that’s typically a go ahead. You don’t have to give them a hickey (us working adults especially can’t be walking around with hickeys all over our necks), just plant kisses down their neck, maybe throw in a few ‘nips’ with your lips. Do what feels right, and watch their response too. Eventually, move back up to their lips, either kissing your way but up, or just moving straight there.

These are just some things I’ve enjoyed or people I’ve kissed have enjoyed. It’s really about preference and communicating what you guys enjoy.

Half the people I’ve kissed only enjoy a little tongue, while the other half will put their entire tongue in your mouth if they can.

Most people I’ve kissed get turned allll the way on with the neck kisses, while some just kind of freeze like, ‘uuhhh… what are you doing…?? 😳’

I guess the most important thing to remember is to try it different things and communicate with each other while you figure things out.

go slow at first, tempo can increase if that’s your thing, and also remember that you’re kissing, not trying to eat the other person’s face. I have yet to meet anyone who likes that completely open mouth with teeth kind of scraping the other person’s lips.

Story time I guess 😭:

There was this three-way kiss happening, and one of the girls was practically eating our faces. The other girl and I gently explained that it was not enjoyable, and gently helped her kind of correct that.

Another time, this person cut my lip with their mouth open too wide and their teeth knocking my lips each time 😭

If anyone else has something to add, please do ❤️ I have plenty experience, but I definitely don’t know everything.

#ask #I hope this helps

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starrydaycare · 2 months

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can we have some regressor Eclipse Headcannons OR CG eclipse headcannons pls??

🖥️🌑Caregiver!Eclipse Headcanons!

Here ya go!! (Note: this is V3/4 Eclipse specifically)

🌑Eclipse was definitely not built for taking care of children, not like Sun or Earth was. He was awkward around kids, though he did much better with younger ones. But then somehow, someway, he became a caregiver for an age regressor.

🖥️He'd grown a soft spot for caregiving, grown a soft spot for his regressor. Though he wouldn't admit it, especially around others (though if his kiddo gave him a teary look he'd tell them that he loves them). He never was one good at affection, especially through words, though he'll learn for his kid if they need that affection. If his kiddo starts crying, or is sad he'll sigh, acting annoyed and irritated but he'd hug them and hold them close <3

🌑He would spoil his kid rotten practically. Oh, they want a new stuffie? Bought it. A new bike? Allll theirs. A trip to Kmart? Hop in the car portal. His main way of giving affection is gift giving. For birthdays he'll stay up all night making his kid a homemade card, wrapping their gift perfectly.

🖥️With that all being said, he seems strict. Like his attitude is strict, he acts all annoyed and irritated and like "No, kid, you can't have that" and "Knock it off, I'm trying to work!" but the second the puppy dog eyes come out ohhhh yep. Say bye-bye to the strict act. Though he'll still act irritated, imagine this: "No, kid! Knock it off and let me work!" cue puppy dog eyes, maybe some fake tears threatening to fall. "... Fine, get on up here. Brat." And now he's holding them.

🌑While working he'll hold his kid on his lap, and if they show interest in what he's doing, he'll talk to them and show them it all. The kid doesn't always understand it, but he'll try his best to explain it to his regressor, even if they're regressed young enough to not fully understand.

🖥️His regressor is the most protected being to exist, I swear. Someone lays their hands on his kid? Yeahhh. Yikes. Not gonna end well for them, but regardless it'll end with Eclipse holding his kiddo in his arms, checking them for injuries and everything while half-heartedly scolding them "Dang it, Kid. You better not have gotten yourself hurt...!" He says lovingly.

🌑He prefers younger kids, like babies. He enjoys holding them, and how cuddly they get. He hates the mess most babies make while eating, but he doesn't mind the mess if it makes his regressor happy. He's also very much willing to help his kid potty train or use a diaper if they want to do so. Anything for his kiddo.

🖥️He'll carry them around while doing stuff, and that includes carrying his kid around the Pizzaplex! If his kiddo likes the lights and loud stuff of the Pizzaplex, then he'll take them there for fun. If they need their headphones to block sound, or anything else, he'll make sure they have it. Also, if anyone looks at him weird as he carries his kid around? They get glared at, a silent warning.

🌑He doesn't like leaving his kid at a babysitter or daycare, often times preferring to just carry them around and take care of them himself. But, if he haves to or his kid wants to go to a daycare or a babysitter, then he'll suck it up and leave them there. Though not for long, and he triple checks to make sure they have everything.

🖥️He leaves his kiddo at Superstar Daycare one day, Sun and Lunar looking at him in disbelief. He crouches down in front of his kid, making sure they have everything they need and want, before giving them a forehead kiss and telling them that he'll be back soon.

🌑Long story short, he's a pretty good CG! A bit snappy and irritable at times, but won't be outright mean to his regressor. Though if he does accidentally hurt their feelings, he'll be apologizing more times than one can count.

🌑🖥️⭐

#agere blog #age regressor #sfw age regression #sfw interaction only #sfw agere #agere community #age regression #agere #agere headcanons #agere requests #request #requests open #headcanon requests #the eclipse and puppet show #eclipse sams #tsams agere

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caashmoneynae · 10 months

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MY MASTERLIST. -> click here for more!

❦

ARRANGED WEDDING.

JOEY BADA$$ x BLACK!FEM!OC

SUMMARY: in which Valentina lives in the world of old money and has to be set up into an arranged marriage the moment she turns 25. the problem, however, is that the man she gets set up to marry just so happens to be the one she can't stand. ✨

❦

"𝗬'𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝗕𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗡𝗢𝗪." Valentina scoffed, shaking her head, as she looked at her parents and let out a chuckle in amusement, tucking a strand of her black tresses behind her ear while she crossed her arms across her chest.

"we're as serious as can be, honey. your brother and sister were set up in arranged marriages and now it's your turn," Magnolia, Valentina's mother, explained as she looked at her daughter across from her, "you're 25, Val. and you know what that means."

coming from "old money" wasn't as great as it may have looked on the outside. sure, you never had to worry about going broke or not having enough money to pay for bills and other things, but in order to continue the legacy of your father and expand his business, you had to be set up in an arranged marriage, and nobody wants to be set up in an arranged marriage, especially when you didn't get to pick your partner.

what if they weren't your type? what if you couldn't get along with them? what if the both of you had different goals in life and couldn't bond together because of them?

many questions were asked whenever the next child had to be married off, but their parents always responded with the same thing: "you'll grow to love them over time."

first, it was Vincent — Valentina's older brother — who had to get married off. then, it was Vena — Valentina's older sister — who was after him. and now it was finally Valentina's turn, and she wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of an arranged marriage, but it wasn't like she had any choice.

it was a traditional requirement for her family, and she'd eventually have to pass it down to her children just like her parents did to theirs.

"yeah, i know," Valentina sighed, crossing her legs, as she rested her hand on her temple and gently massaged it, "can i at least know who i'm getting married to?"

"Jo-Vaughn Scott. his father is just as successful as me, if not more, and it'd be great help for my business to grow much larger than it already is." Richard, Valentina's father, answered as Valentina's brows furrowed and she let out a humorless laugh, shaking her head while she looked away from her parents and looked down at the coffee table in front of her.

"of course, i have to marry him. out of allll people... him." Valentina mumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose, as her eyes closed and she let out a heavy sigh.

Jo-Vaughn and Valentina weren't exactly a "match made in heaven" like her parents wanted them to be. in fact, she couldn't stand Jo-Vaughn. from the way he acted, she viewed him as an arrogant jackass who thinks just because he's good-looking and rich that he could have any and every girl that he saw as attractive, and Valentina was one of those girls. sure, he was charming and a big flirt, but nothing could compare to how irritating he was.

sometimes Valentina thought he did annoyed her on purpose just to see her reaction, and to be honest, she still does. but the thought of being married to him was something she couldn't bare to think about.

"don't be like that, Val, he's a good kid! he's well-educated, handsome, charming, a sweetheart, can cook, a caretaker — he's the perfect match for you. at least we considered his traits before setting you up to marry him," Magnolia explained, a small smile on her face, as Richard chuckled and Valentina looked over at the two with a blank stare, "and you might as well wipe that look off your face because him and his parents are coming over for dinner tonight, and you're gonna be here."

"i—" Valentina parted her lips to protest against the dinner plans, but she cut herself off with a chuckle as she shook her head and leaned back against the couch, "what time is dinner?"

"8 o'clock sharp. i expect you to be there in your best attire."

"oh, i'll be there."

—

ringing the doorbell of her parents' home, Valentina looked down at her dress and smoothed out the wrinkles in it as the door swung open and her head raised, revealing her mother while she looked at her daughter with a smile.

"oh, Val, you look so beautiful, sweetheart!" Magnolia smiled, looking at her outfit, as she stepped to the side and gave her room to walk in, making Valentina smile while she let out a soft chuckle.

"i had a little help from Vena because i didn't know what to wear," Valentina chuckled, walking into the house, as the clack of her heels sounded off against the wood floor and she adjusted her breasts in the folded down top, "but i'm glad you like it, mama."

"you arrived at such a good time, Jo-Vaughn's mother just called and told me that they're on their way." Magnolia smiled, closing and locking the front door, as she grabbed Valentina's hand and led her to the dining room, the smile on Valentina's face slightly dropping at the mention of Jo-Vaughn while she followed behind her mother.

"how amazing," Valentina fake smiled, her voice holding fake enthusiasm, as she looked at the layout of the dining room table, "where's Dad? and which seat is who's because i know you set up some kinda' seating arrangement like you always do."

"he's upstairs. you know he takes longer gettin' ready than any of us do," Magnolia chuckled, earning a laugh from Valentina, as Magnolia walked towards the end of the table and adjusted the tablecloth, "we'll sit on this side and they'll sit across from us. you'll be in the middle and so will Jo-Vaughn, so he'll be sitting directly across from you."

"it just continues to get worse," Valentina mumbled, her phrase unheard from her mother's ears, as she heard someone clear their throat and she turned around, seeing her father stand at the doorway, "hey, Dad, i was just askin' about you."

"your mama said something smart about me still being upstairs, didn't she? i already know she did, you ain't gotta' tell me," Richard chuckled, causing Valentina to laugh, as she walked over to him and gave him a hug, wrapping her arms around his torso while he wrapped his around her shoulders, "you look beautiful, Val. i'm sure Vena helped with that, right?"

"she was always better at figuring out what to wear than i was." Valentina chuckled, pulling away from her father's embrace, as the doorbell rang and Valentina immediately tensed up while Magnolia smiled and softly squealed.

"that's them! okay, you two go sit down and i'll go get the door." Magnolia smiled, walking out of the dining room, as Valentina and Richard made their way to the table and Richard pulled out Valentina's chair, watching his daughter sit down in it while he pushed her up to the table.

hearing Magnolia greet Jo-Vaughn and his family, Valentina cringed and her legs crossed underneath the table as she looked down at her dress, beginning to regret coming to the dinner. her siblings didn't have to get married to someone they despised, so why should she? though she knew she didn't have a say in who she'd be married to, she wished they would've picked someone other than the most cockiest and irritating man known to mankind.

and she'd have to get married to that? oh, her life would be hell after that wedding.

hearing multiple footsteps lead into the room, Valentina greeted Jo-Vaughn's parents and spoke to them as politely as she could, despite disliking their son. as she conversed with Kimberly — Jo-Vaughn's mother — she couldn't help but feel a burning stare on the side of her face, and as she wrapped up the conversation, her eyes averted to Jo-Vaughn, who was staring so hard at her that his gaze could've burned a hole into her face.

as she greeted him, there was this smugness in his voice as he spoke, and Valentina didn't know if she was only one who noticed it or not, but most likely she was. while the family sat down at the table, Magnolia rushed off to the kitchen to grab the meal she prepared for dinner while Kimberly and Denzel — Jo-Vaughn's father — spoke to Richard, and Valentina assumed it was about business because she was starting to tune out every word they were saying.

"why did i agree to come to this? i should've just acted like i was sick or somethin'." Valentina thought as she looked up from her empty plate and locked eyes with Jo-Vaughn, a smirk crossing his dark-skinned face while Valentina rolled her eyes at him.

"dinner is served, everyone!" Magnolia smiled, coming back from the kitchen, as she sat the dishes of various foods in the middle of the table and walked over to her chair, pulling the seat out and sitting down in it while she scooted up to the table, "before we eat, i'd like to lead us in prayer, if you guys don't mind."

everyone around the table held hands and bowed their heads, listening to Magnolia talk to God and asking Him to bless the food they were about to eat. as she listened to her mother's prayer, Valentina began a separate prayer to God in her head and asked Him to grant her the blessing of patience because she knew she'd need it tonight dealing with Jo-Vaughn, especially since she wanted to make a good impression for his parents.

she might not like him, but she would rather show it in private than be seen as a rude person in public, especially since it could affect her father's business.

"in Jesus name we pray, Amen."

"Amen."

—

"...thank you, i'm glad you liked it," Magnolia smiled, thanking Kimberly for the compliment on her meal, as she looked over at Valentina and parted her lips to speak, "Val, you mind cleaning the table up for me? i wanna show Kimberly some of my achievements."

"yeah, mama, i will." Valentina smiled politely, pushing her chair in, as she grabbed her mother's plate and reached to grab Kimberly's plate before a hand suddenly grabbed it for her.

"i'll stay and help you." Jo-Vaughn smiled, looking at the woman, as Valentina looked up at him and smiled, fighting the urge to roll her eyes while she looked down at the table once again.

"thank you, Jo-Vaughn, you're so sweet." Valentina smiled, internally gagging from the words that left her mouth, as Magnolia and Kimberly left the room and Valentina quickly picked up her and her father's plates while she grabbed the pot the pasta was in, making her way to the kitchen and carefully placing the dishes in the soapy dishwater that sat inside the large sink.

"you complimenting me now, huh?" the sound of Jo-Vaughn's voice made Valentina jump and she glanced back at him over her shoulder as she rolled her eyes.

"don't get used to it, alright? i already can't stand you, so don't make it worse with being irritating," Valentina retorted, walking away from the sink, as she attempted to walk past Jo-Vaughn but was stopped by his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her towards him, "get the f— get off me!"

"you know i love to see you mad at me, princess," Jo-Vaughn smirked, biting down on his bottom lip, as two of his dreads swung in his face and the rest sat up in a ponytail while Valentina writhed in his grip and both of his arms wrapped around her to keep her close to him, "that's not any way to treat your future husband, is it, pretty?"

'princess' was Jo-Vaughn's nickname for Valentina because he believed her parents treated her as one, especially since she was the youngest. her coming from old money and being born into riches was also an addition to the nickname because her house was as big as a castle in a fairytale and it reminded Jo-Vaughn of princesses in old Disney movies, so her being called 'princess' was practically inevitable.

"just because we're gonna be married doesn't mean i have to like you, Jo-Vaughn." Valentina grumbled, narrowing her eyes at the man, as she rested her hands on his chest and attempted to remove herself from his arms but to no avail.

"one day you gon' love me, princess. and when it happens, i won't be surprised," Jo-Vaughn chuckled, kissing her forehead, as he removed his arms from her waist and stepped back from her to observe her attire, "you look too good in that dress to be doin' dishes, mama. go take a seat and get off ya feet, i'ma take care of all this."

—

FOUR MONTHS LATER.

"...enjoy yourself, gorgeous!" Valentina smiled, waving a guest goodbye, as she walked through the crowd of people and made her way to her friends — Kassidy and Simone — and her sister, smoothing out the ruffles in her dress along the way due to it getting bunched up from how much she was moving.

over the course of just four months, it was like Valentina had went through a roller coaster of events and emotions. first, Jo-Vaughn proposed to her, which still leaves an achy feeling in her stomach to this day. then, she was forced to quit her job by her parents because now that she was engaged and soon-to-be married, she "shouldn't be working." next, her and Jo-Vaughn's parents went half on a large house for the two to live in together and they were forced to sell their old homes because they "wouldn't need them anymore." after all of that, the two got married — which happened earlier today — and they were currently at their reception — which just so happened to take place at their new home.

it was a lot to adjust to at just one time, and it was extremely difficult for her to do, but she had no choice but to adjust to them because she had no say in anything that was happening, and she was sure her siblings felt the same way she did when it was their turn to get hitched.

"y'all, i don't know how much more of this i can take." Valentina sighed, shaking her head, as she grabbed a glass of Champagne from the platter in front of her and took of a sip of it.

"trust me, i know that feeling. i'm just glad mine is over with." Vena chuckled, rubbing her shoulder, as Kassidy chuckled in agreement and Simone let out a sigh.

"if this is what it feels like to set up to be married, i don't wanna turn 25 anymore." Simone declined, shaking her head, as Valentina downed the glass of Champagne and grabbed another, causing the trio of women to laugh at her.

"no, this is what it feels like to be set up to marry somebody you can't stand." Kassidy chuckled, earning laughs from Vena and Simone, as Valentina groaned and shut her eyes, resting her forehead against her palm while she caressed her temples.

"and i had to kiss this man... in front of everybody... man, i almost threw up," Valentina complained, taking another sip of the white wine, as Kassidy snickered and Vena shook her head, "speaking of him, have y'all seen him? i haven't seen him since we got here, and that was almost an hour ago."

"i ain't seen him. girl, i lost my own husband when i got here." Vena chuckled as Kassidy laughed in agreement and Simone let out a giggle while she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"tell me about it. as soon as we walked in, it was like he ditched me. i guess he love his friends more than me." Kassidy joked, playfully shrugging her shoulders, as Vena laughed and Valentina chuckled, shaking her head at the two and taking a small sip of the wine in her hand so she wouldn't get too intoxicated due to the fact that this was her second glass.

"...Val, ain't that him right there?" Simone questioned, causing Valentina to open her eyes and raise her head from her hand, as Simone subtly gestured towards Jo-Vaughn and a woman that was clearly flirting with him, the woman enticingly running her fingers down the male's arm and causing all four of the women to stare at the interaction with different reactions on their faces.

Vena was skeptical, Kassidy was repulsed, Simone was confused, and Valentina was... jealous? sure, she might've been married to him, but she didn't think that'd change how she felt about him. something about seeing him with another woman who wanted him angered her, and if she wasn't sure if it was because they were married or if it was her repressed feelings beginning to surface for the first time.

but whatever it was, the feeling was strong, and it took everything in Valentina not to show how upset she truly was.

"i'll be back." Valentina spoke flatly, no emotion in her voice, as she downed the rest of the wine in her glass and sat it on the platter with the other one, walking away from her friends and her sister before they could utter a word to her about the change in her demeanor.

wiping the corners of her mouth with her thumb, Valentina ran her tongue over her lips to remove any excess Champagne that may have rested there as she approached Jo-Vaughn and the unknown woman, a fake smile finding its way onto herself the closer she got to the conversing pair.

"hi, honey, i was looking all over for you," Valentina smiled, fake enthusiasm in her voice, as she grabbed Jo-Vaughn's hand and subtly moved his arm back from the woman's reach, entwining their fingers and kissing his cheek while she looked over at the woman in front of him, "who's this?"

"hey, baby. this is Arianna, she's the daughter of one of the dads that work with mine," Jo-Vaughn introduced, a smile on his face, as he looked down at Valentina and kissed her temple while he looked over at Arianna, "Arianna, this is Valentina, my beautiful wife."

"it's nice to finally meet you! i've been hearing so much about you, i couldn't wait until i saw your face," Arianna smiled, holding her hand, as Valentina gave the woman a fake smile and shook her hand with her unoccupied one, "you're a very lucky woman to have someone like Jo-Vaughn."

"and he's a very lucky man to have someone like me," Valentina smiled, removing her hand from Arianna's grasp, as she secretly wiped her palm on the hem of her dress and she looked up at Jo-Vaughn, "Jo-Vaughn, can i talk to you for a minute?"

before Jo-Vaughn could respond, Valentina walked away from the woman with his hand in hers, practically pulling him away from her while she headed straight for the staircase. saying 'excuse me' and 'pardon me' whenever she bumped into the partygoers, Valentina made her way up the stairs with Jo-Vaughn behind her, her jaw clenched and a mug sitting comfortably on her face now that no one could see her.

walking into their bedroom, Valentina's grip tightened on Jo-Vaughn's hand and she yanked him into the room, shutting and locking the door behind them while she turned to face him with her arms crossed across her chest.

"damn, what you yankin' on me for?—"

"what the fuck was that? huh?" Valentina asked angrily, raising a brow, as Jo-Vaughn looked at her in confusion and his brows furrowed, "we ain't even been married for 24 fuckin' hours yet and you already flirtin' with other bitches? in front of me? at our reception? is that what we doin'?"

"Val, what are you—"

"you lettin' these thirsty ass bitches touch on you, Jo-Vaughn?! huh?! nigga, you 'posed to be my fuckin' husband and you thottin' already?! what the fuck is your problem?!" Valentina exclaimed, stepping close to him, as she grabbed the collar of his white Polo shirt and gently pulled him down to her level, "i don't want that bitch here no more, you hear me? you better go tell yo' dad to get her outta' here or i'ma tell mine. either way it goes, i want that bitch escorted off my muh'fuckin' property. i'm not fuckin' playin' with you, Jo-Vaughn, you got that?"

Jo-Vaughn remained silent as he stared into the woman's eyes, seeing a side of her he's never witnessed before. Valentina's stare was firm and cold, and she was determined to get this "Arianna" bitch out of their home, no matter how long it took. as long as she left, that's all that mattered to her, even if she had to be thrown out instead of leaving peacefully.

she couldn't hide how she felt any longer. yes, she was jealous. yes, she was mad as hell. yes, she wanted to whup her ass. and yes, she has feelings for Jo-Vaughn. she suppressed them because she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was feeling him, but to see another woman flirt with him after she had just gotten married to him was her first and final straw.

she wasn't going for it, and if her sister or her mother was in her shoes, they wouldn't be going for it either.

"Valentina," Jo-Vaughn began, letting out a soft chuckle, as he removed her hands from the collar of his shirt and raised a brow at her, "princess, i know you not jealous."

"i'm not fucking jealous," Valentina retorted, snatching her hands from his grip, as she raised her right index finger and poked his chest with it, "no bitch should be at my fucking wedding reception touching my fucking husband and playing dumb in my fucking face like i'm some slow bitch. i'll stomp that bitch out with these muh'fuckin' heels on, Jo-Vaughn, stop fuckin' playin', nigga."

"mama, you jealous. just admit it," Jo-Vaughn smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he attempted to grab her hands again but Valentina backed away from him, making him follow her movements until she eventually backed up against a wall, "seein' her touch me made you mad, didn't it? watchin' her flirt with me pissed you off... right? admit that shit and own up to it, Val."

something about witnessing Valentina be jealous and possessive over him made him feel like he was on top of the world. after her denying her attraction for him for so long, who would've known that all it took was for her to see another woman flirting with him? knowing she secretly cared about him made him wanna continue to poke and prod at her until she admitted it out loud, and judging by how upset she was, she had surely reached her limit on how much bullshit she could take.

"i'm fuckin' jealous, a'ight?" Valentina exclaimed, looking up at the man, as her back rested against the cream-colored wall and she crossed her arms, "no other woman should be talkin' to you or flirtin' with you if it's not me! no other woman should be touchin' you if it's not me! if it ain't me, the bitch gotta' go, and that's that! so like i said, you better tell ya father to get that ho up outta' here or i'ma tell her myself—"

Valentina was cut off by Jo-Vaughn smashing his lips onto hers, and she immediately returned the passionate kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his arms slithering around her waist and picking her up by her thighs while he pressed her further onto the wall. the kiss was rough and intense yet filled with love and lust, and Valentina deepened the kiss as she slightly tilted her head, her legs sitting around her husband's slim waist while her core began to ache with desire.

"i'll do whatever you want me to as long as you keep talkin' to me like that." Jo-Vaughn mumbled in the kiss, referring to her possessive and demanding behavior, as Valentina groaned in desire against his lips and one of her hands slipped between their connected bodies, grabbing his belt buckle and beginning to unbuckle it.

"then shut up and fuck me," Valentina muttered, unbuttoning his khaki dress pants, as Jo-Vaughn helped her pull them down and Valentina reached into his boxers, her fingertips wrapping around his hardened length while Jo-Vaughn softly grunted at the feeling, "i got you this hard, baby?"

"it's hard not to get turned on with yo' fine ass being possessive over me," Jo-Vaughn answered lowly, pulling away from the kiss, as the adults panted at the lack of air they experienced due to the lengthy kiss and Jo-Vaughn rested his forehead against hers, "you don't know what the fuck you do to me, girl."

"yeah? how 'bout you show me?" Valentina smirked softly, biting down on her lip, as she stroked his length in his boxers before tugging them down with his help, "we got a few minutes before they start lookin' for us, so you better fuck me like you mean it, Joey."

"demanding ass. shit, yes ma'am," Jo-Vaughn joked, making Valentina let out a soft laugh, as Jo-Vaughn slipped his hand underneath her dress and pulled her panties to the side, "put it in since you wanna tease me and shit."

"with pleasure." Valentina's grip slightly tightened on Jo-Vaughn's phallus as she placed him at her entrance, slowly working him inside of her while he pushed some of his length into her as well. Valentina's jaw slightly dropped at the feeling of being stretched out and a soft gasp fell from her lips as she felt Jo-Vaughn push more of his dick inside of her and she let go of it, her hands gripping his shoulders while a groan fell from Jo-Vaughn's lips at her walls hugging him like a glove.

"you feel so fucking good." Jo-Vaughn practically moaned, his brows furrowing, as Valentina whimpered and her eyes rolled back, her lips sitting ajar while she rested her head against the wall.

Jo-Vaughn's hips moved at a slow pace so Valentina could get adjusted to his length and moans and groans of pleasure continued to emit from their parted lips as Jo-Vaughn grabbed one of her legs and lifted it onto his shoulder, causing a loud moan to come from Valentina's lips at him suddenly hitting her g-spot.

"a-ah, Daddy, right there!" Valentina whimpered loudly, feeling his pace pick up speed, as her brows furrowed and her grip tightened on his shoulders, feeling his lips trail kisses down her jawline while she cupped the nape of his neck in her hand.

"right there, mama? huh? i'm where you need me at, pretty?" Jo-Vaughn cooed against her soft skin, caressing her thigh, as Valentina's head absentmindedly leaned to the side to give him more room to kiss on her neck and her back arched into his body, tightening her grip on him while she held him close.

"y-yes! ooooh, shit!" Valentina moaned, her inner thighs beginning to tingle, as wet kisses trailed up and down her neck and Jo-Vaughn's unoccupied hand grabbed a handful of Valentina's ass, speeding up his strokes and striking her g-spot with more passion, "yes! yes, yes, yes! fuck, baby, j-just like that!"

"you sound so pretty when this dick in you, princess. i love the way you call out for me," Jo-Vaughn groaned against her neck, kissing up to her ear, as he kissed her earlobe and gently tugged at it with his teeth, "you love me, baby?"

"yes! ooh, i love you s-so fucking m-much!" Valentina cried, her eyes rolling back for the second time, as the aroma of sex filled the air and sounds of skin-clapping and Valentina's cries filled the room, her stomach muscles tightening up while her orgasm came closer and closer.

who knew that all Valentina needed to make her admit how she truly felt was anger? but the real question is: who knew that her being angry would lead to something like this?

"that bitch out there will never experience this, you heard? she'll never know what it's like to be pinned against a wall and fucked by me. she'll never know what it's like to make me hard. she'll never know what it's like to be you, mama. you're all i want and you're all i need," Jo-Vaughn confessed, his hips snapping into hers, as he let out a soft groan and applied a smack to her ass, "i'm yours, princess. i'm all yours. i belong to you, my pretty girl."

"f-fuck, don't stop, i'm 'bout to cum!" Valentina cried, her stomach filling with butterflies at his confession, as she let go of the back of his neck and grabbed his jaw, pulling him away from her ear and pressing her forehead against his while a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

"cum for me, gorgeous. c'mon, baby, give it to me. gimme that shit, mama." Jo-Vaughn's words send Valentina over the edge, and her lips sat agape as her legs shook and her stomach muscles tightened, a loud cry falling from her lips while she became undone and her body tensed up. her back arched for a second time and she held Jo-Vaughn as close to her as she could as she whimpered feebly and tears started to roll down her cheeks, her leg going numb on his shoulder while Jo-Vaughn slow-stroked her through her orgasm.

"there you go, mama, handle that nut like a big girl. hold me as tight as you want to, i ain't goin' nowhere." Jo-Vaughn cooed, feeling her body relax against his, as he wiped her tears with his thumb and Valentina let out a soft sigh, her eyes locking with his while a lazy smile crossed her face.

before either of them could say anything, a knock sounded off at the door, and panic shined in their eyes as their heads snapped over to the door, wondering who it was and what they could want.

"newlyweds, i know y'all in here. mama and Mrs. Kimberly told me to come get y'all so we can start eating and cut the cake. so wrap up whatever y'all talking about and let's get a move on it, okay? we hungry." the sound of Vena's voice eased the panic in the couple's veins as Valentina let out a soft chuckle before parting her lips to speak.

"we'll be down in a minute, V, i promise we gon' feed y'all."

"y'all better. or i'll eat this cake my damn self." Vena's footsteps trailed away from the door and the sound of her heels clacking against the stairs made Valentina and Jo-Vaughn's ears prick up as the two let out breaths they didn't know they were holding in while they looked away from the door and at one another.

"we not done with this, are we?" Valentina chuckled rhetorically, raising a brow, as Jo-Vaughn let out a soft laugh and kissed her lips, his two-strand twisted dreads grazing her cheek and making her giggle.

"You damn right we not done with this. Just wait 'til everybody leaves, yo' ass is mines after that."

#x black fem reader #x black reader #black girl beauty #smut #joey bada$$#joeybadass #x reader #black stories #black culture #black community #black love #black people #black literature #enemies to lovers #arranged marriage

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