#That was just one aspect of it and it was a very mathematical aspect in the way it was like one aspect of other maths equations being

[averlym]

(click for better resolution, etc.)

[blackvahana]

Last post lmfao. I'm learning shit about myself tonight

I already talk about how Grey is terrifying to people, how he's progress and science even when it's fucked up, how he'll absolutely experiment on himself including surgery and shit, and how he's in my mind like the father of humanity's persistence hunting in that he will pursue you or any goal he has in mind and you can run and scream and run and run but he will always catch you in the end

The fucking. Image of him in the crystalline halls - obviously translated to human memory because I'm seeing him in vaguely human shape in a literal crystal..... It's not even surprising me. It's not even odd. It's not even a long forgotten memory of a past self I'm like "woah I was like that??" about. that's what I'm learning about myself lmfao

[clonewarsahsoka]

I'm genuinely curious how the other students of this class are finding these papers (if they're reading them) because a lot of them are very mathematical which is easy for ME but for an arts major idk....

[nasa]

LaRue Burbank, mathematician and computer, is just one of the many women who were instrumental to NASA missions.

4 Little Known Women Who Made Huge Contributions to NASA

Women have always played a significant role at NASA and its predecessor NACA, although for much of the agency’s history, they received neither the praise nor recognition that their contributions deserved. To celebrate Women’s History Month – and properly highlight some of the little-known women-led accomplishments of NASA’s early history – our archivists gathered the stories of four women whose work was critical to NASA’s success and paved the way for future generations.

LaRue Burbank: One of the Women Who Helped Land a Man on the Moon

LaRue Burbank was a trailblazing mathematician at NASA. Hired in 1954 at Langley Memorial Aeronautical Laboratory (now NASA’s Langley Research Center), she, like many other young women at NACA, the predecessor to NASA, had a bachelor's degree in mathematics. But unlike most, she also had a physics degree. For the next four years, she worked as a "human computer," conducting complex data analyses for engineers using calculators, slide rules, and other instruments. After NASA's founding, she continued this vital work for Project Mercury.

In 1962, she transferred to the newly established Manned Spacecraft Center (now NASA’s Johnson Space Center) in Houston, becoming one of the few female professionals and managers there.  Her expertise in electronics engineering led her to develop critical display systems used by flight controllers in Mission Control to monitor spacecraft during missions. Her work on the Apollo missions was vital to achieving President Kennedy's goal of landing a man on the Moon.

Eilene Galloway: How NASA became… NASA

Eilene Galloway wasn't a NASA employee, but she played a huge role in its very creation. In 1957, after the Soviet Union launched Sputnik, Senator Richard Russell Jr. called on Galloway, an expert on the Atomic Energy Act, to write a report on the U.S. response to the space race. Initially, legislators aimed to essentially re-write the Atomic Energy Act to handle the U.S. space goals. However, Galloway argued that the existing military framework wouldn't suffice – a new agency was needed to oversee both military and civilian aspects of space exploration. This included not just defense, but also meteorology, communications, and international cooperation.

Her work on the National Aeronautics and Space Act ensured NASA had the power to accomplish all these goals, without limitations from the Department of Defense or restrictions on international agreements. Galloway is even to thank for the name "National Aeronautics and Space Administration", as initially NASA was to be called “National Aeronautics and Space Agency” which was deemed to not carry enough weight and status for the wide-ranging role that NASA was to fill.

Barbara Scott: The “Star Trek Nerd” Who Led Our Understanding of the Stars

A self-described "Star Trek nerd," Barbara Scott's passion for space wasn't steered toward engineering by her guidance counselor. But that didn't stop her!  Fueled by her love of math and computer science, she landed at Goddard Spaceflight Center in 1977.  One of the first women working on flight software, Barbara's coding skills became instrumental on missions like the International Ultraviolet Explorer (IUE) and the Thermal Canister Experiment on the Space Shuttle's STS-3.  For the final decade of her impressive career, Scott managed the flight software for the iconic Hubble Space Telescope, a testament to her dedication to space exploration.

Dr. Claire Parkinson: An Early Pioneer in Climate Science Whose Work is Still Saving Lives

Dr. Claire Parkinson's love of math blossomed into a passion for climate science. Inspired by the Moon landing, and the fight for civil rights, she pursued a graduate degree in climatology.  In 1978, her talents landed her at Goddard, where she continued her research on sea ice modeling. But Parkinson's impact goes beyond theory.  She began analyzing satellite data, leading to a groundbreaking discovery: a decline in Arctic sea ice coverage between 1973 and 1987. This critical finding caught the attention of Senator Al Gore, highlighting the urgency of climate change.

Parkinson's leadership extended beyond research.  As Project Scientist for the Aqua satellite, she championed making its data freely available. This real-time information has benefitted countless projects, from wildfire management to weather forecasting, even aiding in monitoring the COVID-19 pandemic. Parkinson's dedication to understanding sea ice patterns and the impact of climate change continues to be a valuable resource for our planet.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space! 

[girlkisser13]

dating five hargreeves would include

• five loves having deep conversations with you. whether it’s about time travel theories, existential questions, or complex mathematical problems, he enjoys engaging with someone who can keep up with his sharp mind.

• he values his alone time, but he also cherishes moments spent with you. he’d find simple yet meaningful ways to connect, like sharing a quiet cup of coffee together, reading in comfortable silence, or taking walks where you can just be yourselves.

• five has a sharp tongue and a sarcastic sense of humor, and he’d love it if you could match his wit. you’d exchange playful banter regularly, and he’d find your quick comebacks refreshing. it’s his way of showing affection and enjoying your company.

• while five might not be overly affectionate in front of others, when you're alone, he lets his guard down. he'd be more open to holding hands, giving you quick kisses, and showing that soft side he usually keeps hidden.

• LITTLE SPOON FIVE>>>

• after being alone for so long, he begins to develop separation anxiety when the two of you have to part ways, so he’ll always kiss you before you have to leave him.

• five has been through a lot, which makes him wary of trusting people. it would take time for him to fully open up, but once he does, you’d know that he trusts you completely. your relationship would be built on mutual respect and understanding.

• he’s not one for grand romantic gestures, but when he gives gifts, they have thought behind them. it could be something practical that he knows you need or a book he thinks you’d love, showing that he pays attention to your interests.

• five would value your opinion and input, especially when dealing with complex issues. he’d appreciate having someone he could brainstorm with, whether it’s about a mission or a personal dilemma, making you a true partner in every sense.

• while he might not be the best cook, five enjoys the act of making food with you. it’s a way for him to relax and focus on something simple and grounding. expect a lot of sarcastic commentary in the kitchen, especially if something goes wrong.

• five might not admit it openly, but he’d enjoy binge-watching tv shows with you, especially if they have complex plots or time travel themes. he’d probably have a lot to say about the inaccuracies in time travel depictions, making watching these shows an entertaining experience.

• despite his sarcasm, five retains some old-fashioned manners, likely from his upbringing and time spent in different eras. he’d open doors for you, offer his arm when walking together, and use polite language, making you feel respected and cherished.

• he is very protective, but not in an overbearing way. he respects your autonomy and knows you can handle yourself. however, if he senses genuine danger, he’ll step in without hesitation, often with a cool, calculating demeanor to handle the situation.

• five enjoys the quiet solace of bookstores, finding comfort in the smell of old books and the peace they provide. you’d often go on dates to local bookstores, spending hours browsing the shelves and discussing your favorite reads.

• this man is the DEFINITION of touch starved.

• when the two of you are alone, he likes to hold you in his arms with your head resting on his chest. he just likes to know that you’re always there.

• five’s humor can be dark and dry, reflecting his life experiences. while it might catch others off guard, you’ve come to appreciate this aspect of him. it’s his way of coping with the world, and you know how to respond with your own brand of humor.

• he struggles with opening up emotionally due to his past, but when he does, it’s very genuine. he’d share his fears, hopes, and the weight of the things he’s seen, creating a deep emotional bond that strengthens your relationship.

• he is used to being alone and might need his own space from time to time to think and recharge. he appreciates that you give him the freedom to have his alone time, knowing that it’s not about you but rather his way of coping with everything.

• once five becomes more comfortable and confident in his abilities, he might take you on small time jumps for fun. these trips would be carefully planned, giving you both a chance to experience different eras together, even if just for a few moments.

• over time, you help him overcome his ptsd and comfort him through his nightmares. <33

[lovystar]

❝ A PRINCESS’ WILL ❞ ; BADA LEE

synopsis──after an assassination attempt, the queen invites the very best fighters from across the land to compete for the great honor of protecting you, the princess.

content──bada lee x unnamed fem!oc (reader). princess!reader, soldier under disguise!bada. currently unedited, pls be nice lol. fictional combination of medieval european and korea’s joseon dynasty aspects bc im not too concerned about making it realistic. incorrect pronouns (when not in bada’s pov). this world is matrilineal bc I said so. bada's a flirt. eventual smut w/ switch!bada.

word count ── approx. 5.4k

───

YOUR MOTHER’S STRONG HOLD—on the country, on the castle, on her children, and on you in particular as the oldest—was suffocating. You were destined to rule over millions, and your mother would not let you forget it. You had to be strong, caring for your people but unforgiving to others. That’s how she ruled. She’d shape you to be the same queen she was, and she’ll drill it into your head herself if she needs to.

Your pride would never allow you to say this to her face, but you supposed that she did a good enough job. The people loved her: she kept them safe and fed, gave them more than enough to start caring beyond their necessities and seek self-actualization, to flourish in the arts. She wasn’t very popular among foreign lands, and you might even go on to say that they feared her. She was often fair when wronged, but very rarely did she ever pardon those wrongs. She has never, in the time you've been alive.

Once, when you were very little and you were still taking lessons with some children of noble descent, you heard them repeat a saying they’d learn from their parents:

“Loving are her eyes, beauty bestowed, but fear the night the Hawk catches you lurking near her nest, lest you desire your entrails be fed to the eyas nights on end.” 

They spoke of their Queen with reverence and adoration.

Her way of ruling worked well for many years; you got to live a life of peace and prosperity the entirety of your childhood. Not many other kingdoms can say the same.

On top of your queenly history lessons and politics and mathematics and the sciences, she wanted you to be good at protecting yourself. While she has acquired the most apt Royal Guard, a future queen must still be able to hold her own. She ordered only the best archers and swords to teach you, and you were…decent, at it. The years of practice successfully stuck some things into you: how to hold a sword and a bow and arrow, which body parts to target, how to be light in your feet (this one was specifically useful whenever you wanted to leave the royal palace).

In your defense, your natural sensibilities were drawn to something else entirely. You’d always say reading was a more sensible passage of time. You would spend hours upon hours lounging in one of the library nooks or on a blanket in the palace gardens, surrounded by the pastel of the flowers.

You were in that garden when the assassin took a knife to your throat.

You lived, but it scared your mother terribly. Surprising—since you’d never known her to be a person who had any fears. In your mind, it could only mean two things. One, she loved you to some extent—she might just have a weird way of expressing it. Two, someone was threatening her bloodline and consequently, perhaps more importantly, someone was threatening her throne.

And she will not let that happen in her lifetime.

───

It has been two weeks since your throat was sliced open. Two weeks since the doctor instructed you to minimize strenuous activity and if you could, stay in bed as to not open the stitches.

‘You don’t know how lucky you are,’ the doctor has told you every day after your daily checkup. You know this, of course. Had the knife gone any deeper and had your court ladies not been around the corner, you’d be dead. It was, however, a hilarious thought that someone would bring a blunt knife to an assassination.

Your mother didn’t think it was funny. But in your delicate state, the anger in her eyes had never been funnier, and it pained your throat whenever you’d attempt to laugh.

“Will you stop it? The doctor spent hours on those. What will we do if they scar?” You rolled your eyes in response and she scoffed. “Glad to see you’re as genteel as ever, it’d be a shame if you had lost that lively nature of yours.” It sounded sarcastic, but she meant it. She did not want you to be passive. In her mind, that would only led to you becoming spineless and spineless Queen can't rule. You ignored her words, instead gesturing for one of the maids to bring you a cup of water.

“I’ve arranged for the competition to take place tomorrow, do you think you’ll be up for it?”

You furrowed your brows, “Competition?” Your voice came out roughly. The stitches began to itch.

Your mother groaned, “Please refrain from speaking, but yes, competition, have you not been listening to me? The best soldiers and eligible men have been traveling from across the nation for some time now. The men will fight and we shall see who is best equipped to protect the Crown Princess.”

“Must—” you coughed, “must we make them fight? Can’t we just pick one?”

“Just pick one?” She looked into your eyes incredulously, “You must have hit your head and injured your intelligences if you think I’d let just any one person be in charge of you. You must have the best.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Very well.” She nodded once, “The doctor has cleared you to attend so rest, you will be awakened bright and early tomorrow!”

She walked out of the room and left you to your devices. You sighed. You allowed your court ladies to help you out of your daily garments, clean your wound, place the ointment and replace the bandage.

You repeated the process in the morning, placing a necklace over the bandage, ensuring it is not too tight but stays in place. You prepared for the days’ events, and after a couple of restrained breaths, you walked out of the room with your court ladies in toe.

───

Bada Lee spent her childhood just outside the place. Her family had raised generations of soldiers, many of which served in the Royal Guard. That was, until her father was dismissed and demoted to being a simple guard in the rural countryside. He had dedicated his entire life to the Queen and it was a shock to everyone when he’d been told of his dismissal. Up to his last breath, he’d grow angry whenever she’d asked him why. Why did we leave? How could a loving Queen throw us away as if we were nothing? She’d been upheaved from the City, and littered some place where she’d have to fight if she wanted anything to come from her life. Well, fight harder than she’d have to in the City.

Still, she knew that it didn’t matter where she was. Whether in the Capital City or the countryside, external expectations would have her be a wife and a mother soon after. She watched her mother suffer under these conditions, watched her neighbors, and the change in her friends’ nature as they came of age and were married off. They were all unhappy.

She’d be damned if she was destined to a miserable marriage. But above all, she’d be damned if she dies a nobody. Just another woman, forgotten by history.

Nope. That’s not her.

Growing up, she loved watching her father and brother train. She’d try to join, but her father would quickly push her away. She would try day after day, but it couldn’t be helped. So she turned to making her own sword out of a fallen tree branch. She’d copy their movements, the placement of their feet and how the air would rest in their lungs and rush out with the lunge of the sword—well, the lunge of the stick for her. Her brother agreed to train with her, but in his teenage years, he grew resentful of her talent. He decided to begin training a different skill, archery, but soon enough, he realized that this too came naturally for her. Over the years he turned to different combat skills, only for Bada to overpower him again and again. One day, he stopped helping her at all.

It was a cold winter when the sickness spread across the countryside. It was the sickness that took her father and it was the sickness that took her brother. The town had to develop a new burial site due to the amount of people that died at the beginning of the season. Death didn't relent there; people continued dying and dying until that site was full with bodies.

By the time her family succumbed to their sickness, there was nowhere to put them. For days on end, her only company was their cold bodies. She had placed them in a separate room, putting as much distance as she could. As the winter grew colder and she stared at the makeshift tomb’s door, she realized she depended entirely on them. As it stood, she was nothing, less than nothing, by herself. It was a matter of time before someone hunted her down, a young woman without any male relatives left and tried to turn her into a sellable thing.

She’d be damned.

In a feat of fear and anger, she grabbed her brother’s clothes and changed into them and styled her hair as he would. She looked into the small mirror, surprised to see that her crazy plan might just work.

But she needed to make people think it was her that died.

The day the town hall proposed a mass burial, she changed her brother’s clothes into her own and loosened his hair from the top knot it was in. She shaved his beard, feeling disgusted at the act and with herself for feeling the need to do this. She pushed through: this was about her survival. She reported the bodies, and snuck into the site later that night. Sure, she would be shamelessly taking her brother’s identity from this day forward, but that did not mean she would bury her brother in anything other than his clothes. She did not want that karma. Plus she could afford to lose one of the five hanboks.

The next day, she watched anxiously as they buried the mass of bodies.

She should’ve felt terrible about her relief once they were under the soil, and she did, she would miss them. At some point during the week she lived with their corpses, she forgave them for any bad they did to her. She could only think of the good things now, her father’s jjigae and her brother’s light banter.

She did feel bad, but at the same time, a weight had been lifted. She wouldn’t need to get married now, she could pursue something, she could walk around at night without a chaperone and she could talk to people without worrying about being seen as vulgar.

Yes, under her disguise, she was finally free.

───

Lee Bada had been Lee Hae for a year by the time the Queen requested all eligible soldiers to report to the Capital City. Her commanding officer recommended her to go as one of the top soldiers under his command. She has managed to climb her way through the ranks, demonstrating her strength wherever she went.

Nobody knew the Mother of the Nation had called them to the palace, but if only the strongest were allowed to go, then Bada was going to make sure she was at top.

It was strange being back in the Capital City and even weirder to see the inside of the palace when all she’d known before was its gates.

Bada stood in line with the rest of the soldiers in the palace’s courtyard, towering over some of them. Her back maintained straight, her head held high, as the Crown Princess approached the Queen. She bowed to the queen and sat down next to her. Bada controlled her facial expressions, but her feelings couldn’t be helped. The Crown Princess had made the soldiers wait under the sun, and now she had the audacity to look bored. Despite being so far away, she could see the way you whispered into one of your court ladies’ ears and how they covered their mouth. The laughter showed in their eyes though. In contrast, your attempt to cover your giggle was lazy, your hand falling from the front of your mouth before you could control your expression once more. Bada wanted to scoff. Had you no decency? Before Bada’s bitterness could grow further, the Queen began speaking.

“Welcome, loyal soldiers and citizens. I have invited you here today to compete for the highest honor of joining the Royal Guard and protecting your Crown Princess.” Her open palm gestured to her side, where the Princess sat gracefully. “It is a title that comes with great responsibility, and requires skill, power and loyalty. It would please me for each of you to partake and serve your country in the process. If you wish to stay, please take a step forward.”

Each of the four hundred soldiers took a step, the sound booming through the courtyard. Bada did not look to see if any citizens had stepped forward.

“I am so glad! The competition consists of a six stages with different ���games.’ You must accumulate enough points in each stage to successfully move up to the next one. Today, we shall begin the first stage. You must ride out into the woods and bring back a rabbit that has been trapped and hidden. There are only two hundred rabbits.” the Queen paused and with a clap of her hands, “Go!”

───

“I don’t get the point of this game,” You stated without looking up from your book. “They’ve been out there for hours and no one is back yet.”

“Patience, daughter,” the Queen responded, “There must be a basis to being a good protector, is there not? Wouldn’t you say that enduring long distance and persevering in the woods is a good baseline?”

“You are so creative, Mother,” you sighed into your book, “You can come up with such fantastical scenarios.”

“So you would rather have someone who doesn’t know how to endure long distances riding and persevere in the woods?”

You didn’t respond.

The first to arrive was a seasoned soldier. He had been part of the Royal Guard for more than a decade, and was known for his hunting skills. The second person caught your mother’s attention. One tall and broad-shouldered man rushed through the Palace gates with 4 rabbits hanging from his horse with a robe. He dismounted, grabbing the robe, throwing it on the ground and bowing before the Queen.

“Seowol from the Southern coast, your Royal Highness.”

“Seowol?” Your mother questioned, “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I do believe you were only supposed to take one rabbit.”

“I wanted to secure a strong position, your Highness.” He remained in a bowed position, looking down, his arms stiff along his body.

“Certainly! Please follow eunuch Jinho to the bathroom and a change of clothes. You’ll be called when everyone has arrived.” He looked up and nodded, and quickly did as instructed.

The court ladies swooned over the man once he’d walked away, but you hardly moved.

“Did you see the way he looked at you? Oh!” the young lady fanned her hand. You chuckled, amused by the younger girl’s reaction.

“The way he got off his horse and showed the rabbits, he was so cool!”

“And handsome! Don’t forget handsome!”

You rolled your eyes at that one, “He wasn’t even that handsome.”

“So you do think he was handsome!” They all laughed, having caught something in your words.

“Listen to me, I said he was not all that handsome.” You repeated, “I’ve seen better.”

They gushed, trying to get you to elaborate, but your mother was beginning to look at you sideways. You thought it was better to stop then. With the light hearted fun you were having with your ladies, you forgot all about the dull ache of your throat. The reason you were having this ridiculous competition in the first place. The truth was there was something about Seowol that disgusted you. You couldn’t quite place it, it could be the abruptness in his movements and the way he threw the rabbits on the ground, or perhaps the coldness behind his eyes. A mindless cruelty to innocent beings.

Returner after returner, it was the same and they started blending into each other. They’d rush through the gates, and present the robed rabbit in front of the Queen before they bowed. They announced their name loudly, as if shouting would make the Queen remember them better. The cook would take the rabbit and disappear to the kitchens.

That was, until number 73th entered the yard. The sun was beginning to set, leaving the sky in a canvas of lovely purples and pinks. You didn’t notice him at first, but soon your ladies began to whisper. This particular soldier entered calmly, and only one hand on the horse’s bridle. A small ball of white highlighted by the black of his uniform. As he got closer, you saw that the white speck of fluff was the rabbit. He cradled it on his left arm, making sure it didn’t jump or fall. Once he’d reach the stage, he dismounted carefully. You noticed his height, and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how his shoulders managed to look both broad and slender at the same time. He came closer, bowing deeply before your mother and to your surprise, he began to approach you.

He was quickly stopped by your mother’s guards blocking his path.

“Please, your Royal Highness, let him approach,” You surprised yourself. For the past two weeks, you were scared you were growing paranoid of strangers and people in general. The fear was earned to some extent, you had just been attacked, but you were even more afraid that you’d grow to be scared of everyone, everything, and never come out of your bedroom ever again. Though, now, as you look over at your mother to let the stranger approach you, it seemed this fear wasn’t going to be an issue after all. You were going to be okay. In a lower voice this time, “Please, Mother.”

She rolled her eyes discreetly, waving her hand. “Let him through.”

The guards retracted. The man moved closer to you, and he bowed. You noticed the smoothness of his jaw, the curve of his lips and the pretty way his lashes decorated his pretty brown eyes. He was pretty. So much so you held your breath when his eyes finally met yours.

“My Princess.” He smiled, “For you.”

Oh.

Someone behind you gasped, and you were glad for the noise because that way he might not be able to hear the beating of your heart.

“May I?”

You nodded, despite not knowing what you had agreed to. The man walked even closer to you, and you unconsciously leaned forward. He placed the bunny in your hands, and you searched for his lingering fingers through the white fluff. He retrieved far too soon. You wanted to touch him for some reason. You wanted him to get close again and you wanted him to call you, once again, his prin—

“And what might your name be?” Your mother was not amused.

“Soldier Lee Hae, your Royal Highness.” He addressed his queen but his eyes never left yours.

“Lee, huh? You do know that was your dinner, correct? You won’t have dinner?” Your head snapped to your mother. She could not possibly!

“As long as my Princess is content, my stomach shall never be empty.”

Your head snapped back at him, a slightly ajar mouth. The corners of your mouth lifted slightly, but a sharp pain in your neck scared any adoring feelings away. The stitches tugged on your skin, and you brought your hand to your neck.

“Very well, no dinner. You may sit down, Soldier Lee Hae.”

───

Well, that was fucking stupid. Bada groaned, grabbing her stomach. She just had to give that damned rabbit to the Crown Princess, didn’t she? Even now, hours after dinner and well into their resting time, Bada could not decipher why she chose to spare the rabbit.

You had just looked so beautiful, and before she knew it, she was right in front of you. And as she remembers the look on your face when she gave you the bunny, your parted lips and your widening eyes as you looked up at her, Bada realized she only regretted her choice slightly.

There was no denying your beauty. Everyone knew that while you might be the Crown, you were also the prettiest bird in the eyes of the people.

But Bada couldn’t get distracted. She came here with a purpose. She was going to join the Royal Guard and bring back honor to her family. You might have been eye candy, but it didn’t change the fact that you represented what Bada lost, what she never realistically had a chance at.

It killed her. It killed her that they had a woman King and yet every other woman was still viewed as inferior. Did the only women that mattered lived in the palace? You got to be trained, you got to study the books—why couldn’t they? Why was it that she will need to pretend to be a boy for the rest of her life to feel free?

Could it be helped? Would you be different from your mother?

Her mind turned to her selfish thoughts. Perhaps she could use today’s events to her advantage. She could grow closer to you, on purpose this time, and perhaps that’d help her on the long run. She’d earn her position, of course; that was nonnegotiable.

The hunger grew furiously as she got lost in her thoughts. She couldn’t take it any longer. She got up, quickly wrapping the tight cloth over her chest. She hid a small knife on the inside of her left wrist, a security measure, though she was unlikely to need it. She grabbed something to cover herself with and left the small room she’d been provided with.

She was lucky to finish stage 1 where she did. When the last of the 197 soldiers that would pass on to the next stage arrived, they were well into dinner. The Queen had stated that for the remaining stages of the competition, only the top half scorers would receive a sole bedroom. Everyone else will sleep in the Great Hall. She reasoned it was to keep up the morale and ramp up ambition. It certainly did motivate Bada though. She did not wish to sleep uncomfortably among the stinky men. It was so weird, Bada knew they showered and mere hours later, a musk would develop around them.

She walked towards the kitchens as quietly as she could. Once there, she rummaged through the shelves, searching for something that was not a raw vegetable.

“Please, please, please…” She murmured to herself, and in her desperation, she did not hear the footsteps coming from the side entrance.

“Who is there?” A voice resounded. Bada froze, quickly kneeling down and hidden under the shelf. Fuck! “As Crown Princess, I command you to reveal yourself!”

The Princess? What was she doing up this late?

Bada had hoped that it was a younger staff member also searching for food (someone she could try her charm on), a simple guard (someone she could try to relate to and proclaim guard-to-guard solidarity), hell, she’d even hoped for a thief (someone who was even guiltier than she was). But the Princess? The Princess was someone she could not face. Perhaps for more than one reason.

As discreetly as she could, she crawled towards the end of the shelf. Across from here, there was a long table she could hide under and right across the table was the entrance.

She could make it.

If only she hadn’t run directly into the Princess’ feet.

She landed on her knees, and dread filled her head. She hung it in shame, some hair coming loose and framing her face. So this is how she would die, huh? With nothing to her name, a mere soldier title that she didn’t even earn herself. She would die without a legacy, without—

“Is that you, Lee Hae?” Your voice sounded extra sweet under the moonlight. “How come you’re out here at this time?”

She wanted the earth to open and swallow her whole. But there was no getting out of this.

“Princess Royal, please forgive my shamelessness.” She did not look up, still on her knees. “In my hunger, I forgot my place. I beg for your forgiveness.”

There was a long silence after Bada finished talking. Should she have said more? She was already on her knees, what else could she do to humiliate herself in front of the Princess?

“You’re telling me my contentment was not enough for you?”

Bada lifted her head quickly, only to realize too late you were mere inches away. You were so close she could count each beauty mark, each freckle on your face. She’d kiss them if you’d let her. She shook her head. Stupid Bada, concentrate on not dying!

“That isn’t it at all, my Princess.” She shook her head violently, to which you chuckled in response, lifting your hand to cover your mouth.

“So you’re a liar, then.”

“No, no! I am not, my Princess,” Bada opened her palms, “I will admit that as earnestly as my heart believes a smile from you is all I ever need to survive in this world, my earthly body persists in imprisoning me with cravings. I sincerely did not mean to succumb to my hunger.”

You watched the young soldier as they hung their head once more. You thought Lee was…funny. Funny in a very lovely and forward way that you couldn’t help but want more of. You brought a hand closer to her face, fingers lifting her chin.

Bada allowed the princess to lift her face, flushing at the contact. She could feel the heat rushing to her face, and it embarrassed her that you could have this effect on her. How you made her lose composure.

“Look at me,” you stated. Your head followed the brown eyes as they moved, trying to get them to look at you. “Soldier Lee, look at me.” You said it firmly this time around. Finally, the person in question did as asked. Big eyes looked up at you, begging for something you weren’t sure you could give.

“You know, Soldier Lee, you are the prettiest man I’ve ever met.”

Oh.

Widened eyes and dropped jaw, “I—”

‘I am not a man,’ she wanted to say. She almost did, and the fact that she nearly gave herself away scared her. She had never come this close to telling someone the truth. Not on impulse nor consciously. To the Princess no less! She was a mess. She’d better get a hold of herself if she intends on making it through.

Bada had proven that she was good with words, and here you were, leaving her stunned. You enjoyed it, maybe a bit too much. Abruptly, you stood up, leaving the soldier down on her knees. You offered a hand, and it was like a spell being broken. She took it. She gathered herself and she was back into the charming and highly trained voice. Your curiosity for the soldier grew as you watched; there was just something that screamed constraint in the way Lee spoke, but for now, you chucked it up to the respectability rules of the Queendom.

“I am sorry for interrupting your night, your Highness. I will take my leave.” Bada turned, but was quickly stopped when you grabbed her wrist.

It surprised both of you. As a noble princess, you had been taught from a young age that nobody but appointed servants get to come in contact with your skin. Yet here you were—two for two.

“Well, actually,” you began, “I’m here because I did not want you to go to sleep hungry.” You let go of Bada’s wrist, and she already missed the warmth of your skin on hers. It had been such a long time since anyone had touched her outside of training.

You signaled for her to follow you. She did, and you guided her to a small table on a corner. A small, white towel covered something and when you lifted it, Bada’s eyes widened. A golden serving tray filled with dishes.

“I ordered something be cooked for you,” you said, hands fidgeting, “I’m afraid it’s probably cold by now. I would’ve tried to get you sooner but my Mother kept me by her side much longer than I expected.”

“I—Thank you, your Royal Highness.” Bada bowed, stomach rumbling and mouth watering. “Thank you.”

“Please, you don’t have to do that.” You said quickly, “You were kind to me, and I couldn’t let my mother punish you for it.” You moved to pick up the tray, glaring at Bada when she tried to hold it for you instead. “I can do it! Plus, I know a spot.”

You walked gracefully, quickly, without spilling a single thing on the tray. Bada was amazed. The both of you stuck to the sides of buildings, remaining in the shadows. Bada anxiously looked around; what would people think if they saw her with the Princess? What rumors will they spread, and how much will they cost her? Her life?

“Through there.” The door was covered with greenery, and Bada could not see the door.

She moved closer to you, whispering into your ear, “where?”

She genuinely couldn’t see it.

You shivered. You could faintly feel her chest against your back, and the warmth it radiated.

You shook your head.

“Here, hold this.” You passed the tray to Bada, making quick work of the hidden door. You opened it and walked through. You moved the vines for Bada, she bent down and met you on the other side.

“Wow…” She gasped. It was a beautiful space, filled with colorful flowers and a pond, four trees on each corner. There was a small house, and Bada doubted it was more than just a bedroom and a bathroom.

“It is the old gardener’s place, but he died and it became abandoned.” You said, placing the tray on the wooden ledge in front of the small house. “The new gardener had a family, so he understandably needed a bigger space.”

You giggled nervously, and Bada found herself loving the sound. She got so lost in your voice and the pretty flowers that she nearly forgot how hungry she was. Nearly.

Bada sat down next to you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“I know!” She said excitedly, your eyes sparkling with joy, “Mother thought of destroying it and building something else but I just loved it so much, I wouldn’t let her. I begged her to let me have it for days, she agreed eventually and now it’s my little place! Very few people know about it; my Mother, the new gardener, my lady-in-waiting, you…”

You finished shyly, smiling at Bada before quickly looking away. Would it be too forward of her to grab your face and make you look at her?

Yes, she decided, yes, it would be.

Her stomach growled.

“Oh,” You gasped, “Please eat! I didn’t mean to make you wait.”

“Please, eat with me.”

“No, no, I ate quite well earlier,” you said, “and you didn’t!”

“I don’t want to eat by myself,” Bada said, “Princess, eat with me, please.”

“I’m telling you I won’t,” refusing her once more, “I'll force feed you this meal myself if you don’t start eating soon.”

“Is that a proposition?” Bada smirked. Your cheeks grew warm against your will.

“I only mean… I want you to eat, you have gone hungry because of me. I don’t want you to be hungry any longer.”

“Would you feed me then?” Bada’s eyes looked down at yours, “If I asked you to?”

You cleared your throat, eyes meeting. “Forgive me, soldier, if I’ve come across in a certain light. But I will never feed a man with two capable hands of his own.”

Bada saw the intensity in your eyes, and how they refused to look away from her hers. She leaned closed, eyes growing dangerous the longer she stayed fixated on you.

“You say ‘a man with two capable hands’ but what if I wasn’t a man? How can you be sure that I am?” Bada brought a hand closer to you, “How do you know these work?” She had gone crazy. In your gaze, she had forgotten herself.

Still, in the back of her mind: if she wasn’t in disguise now, would you feed her then?

You finally broke eye contact, looking down at Bada’s hand. It surprised you how much you wanted to hold it, it surprised you even more when your body started reacting to it. A simple hand with long fingers. A calloused hand from days spent training, yet unlike the hands of the men you’ve encountered. Their hands didn’t bring this strange feeling to your stomach. You mind showed you images of these very hands moving along your body; from the nape of your neck, down your side and in between your—

You scoffed, and then chuckled, “Please don’t be ridiculous, soldier Lee. Now, eat, the food is getting colder by the second.”

Bada covered her feelings with a laugh. She was relieved you ignored her impulsive questions, and at the same time, your response left a bitter taste in her mouth. You were just being nice this entire time? Was there really nothing else in your lingering touches and loving eyes? They were childish questions, but it stung nonetheless. She sighed internally; she couldn’t possibly be getting this close now. It was normal to a certain extent, she had the tendency to develop crushes all the time. Sure, developing one in the Princess would complicate the 'get close to you and advance her career' plot, but she was already here.

All her crushes have faded with time, and this one will too.

Bada finally began eating and she was grateful to you once again. She said so, with cheeks full of food and complete disregard for rules. Rules, you had both broken some many of them already, why start caring about them now?

[kacievvbbbb]

I think Haikyuu makes an effort to be a great example of all the different ways innate talent can manifest, and all the ways it can go unrecognized or under appreciated when we stick to the ridged rules of what it means to be “gifted”

Take Kageyama and Oikawa. Both insanely gifted and innately talented people. But Kageyama’s genius is obvious it’s grounded in an exceptional skill in physics and mathematics anybody with a basic interest in volleyball can tell his sets are basically perfect, he is lauded as a genius because he is one!

And then there’s Oikawa whose innate genius is a little harder to see especially if you’re not paying attention, because he does it so well that you don’t even think to notice it. it’s not very technical or flashy so it’s been overshadowed by the more trained flashier aspects of his playing. But Oikawa’s genius is that he knows people. He knows how to finely tune a set, adjusting the most minute details to fit the spiker like a glove and he does it all in a split second like he doesn’t even need to think about it he just knows. That is actually insane. Hell it’s even pointed out by Iwaizumi, nobody is better than Oikawa at knowing his players and knowing how to set to his players.

But the world they (and by extension we) live in, is so used to seeing genius in only a constrained specific light that Oikawa’s innate talent is woefully underrepresented so much so that it leads to him ( and by extension most of the fandom) believing that he has no innate talent, that he’s not a genius. Oikawa somehow believes that he is less that kageyama because kageyama was “born to do this” but if you think about it so was he!

Even despite his self aggrandizing and petty selfishness Oikawa innately, more than anyone else in the whole show, understands what we all tend to forget (across many sports), Volleyball is a team sport.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the single most best techical player out on the court; there are 7 other people out there as well and like it or not they’re playing too. Who then can say that knowing how to make 7 other people move as if extensions of your self with an ease taken for granted, isn’t a sign of genius?

[xneptunianx]

Lilith conjunct Ascendant/Lilith in the 1st house

Hi everyone! My name is Amber, I’m 22 & this is my first astrology post. I’ve been studying astrology for 7 years now and I’m excited to share my knowledge and experience with astrology with you. This is a long one, so get ready.

I have this placement myself in the sign of Pisces conjunct my Pisces Asc in the 1st house with my modern chart ruler Neptune heavily aspected. (I study sidereal astrology with whole sign houses) so writing it was pretty interesting. If you would like to know about my personal experience with this placement, let me know and I’ll create a separate post about it.

Disclaimer: Any other aspects to your Lilith as well as your ascendant & your chart ruler(s) will affect how this aspect will show up. It’s also important to know that the tighter the orb/degree, the more prominent it will be. If you get triggered easily, please take care of yourself and read another time. Trigger warning is put before sensitive subjects.

Alright, enough rambling. Let’s get into it!

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❥ Who is Lilith?

❧ She was Adam’s first wife, she was casted out of the Garden of Eden by God for defying Adam.

❧ She was shamed, ridiculed & rejected for her strong will, rebellion/defiance & liberal attitude towards sex, independence & wanted more than anything to be treated as an equal to Adam.

❧ After being casted out of Heaven, she went on to have an affair with Satan and was crowned the Queen of Hell.

❥ What does Black Moon Lilith represent?

❧ BML is not a celestial body or an object, it is a mathematical point but its energy is still very much prominent.

❧ It represents either/or the fascination/obsession, denial/rejection of whatever topics that are associated with the sign and house it is in.

❥ What is the ascendant?

❧ The ascendant sign, also known as the rising sign is the critical, angular point of the 1st house.

❧ This represents your physical body, appearance, 1st impression, innate nature & mannerisms.

❧ In the Placidus house system, it is the beginning of the 1st house. In the Whole Sign house system it can vary in degree and very rarely land in the 12th or 2nd house.

❧ The ascendant sets up the rest of your chart. If you have BLM in the 1st house without the conjunction to the Asc, this energy will still manifest. It just won’t be as prominent.

❥ What is a conjunction?

❧ A conjunction is an aspect. Aspects are used to show the relationship and dynamic between planets/objects in a chart.

❧ Conjunctions are when two or more planets/celestial bodies/angles are right next to each other in the birth chart, blending and empowering the energies associated with them together.

❧ Angles are the Ascendant (ASC), Descendant (DSC), Imum Coeli (IC) & Midheaven (MC).

❥ I like to think BML as a mix between the outer planets: Neptune, Uranus & Pluto. Especially, Pluto.

❥ When someone has BML conjunct the Asc/in the 1st house this gives the native a mysterious, captivating, alluring, darker aura & presence.

❥ If the BML is conjunct the Asc in the 12th house (usually the case in the Placidus house system) the energy will be there as well but it will be deeper in the subconscious and may be harder to harness this energy in a productive way.

❥ The 12th house is the house of confinement, suppression, hidden enemies, the subconscious & self undoing (addictions for example).

❥ However, the 12th house also rules dreams, spirituality & the unseen realms as it is is ruled by Neptune and naturally is governed by Pisces. Therefore this may manifest similarly to Pisces Asc in certain ways.

❦ Physical Appearance ❦

❥ BML hardens energy & adds a darker, more intense energy. Especially when it comes to the softer ascendant signs such as Taurus, Libra, Cancer, Virgo & Pisces as a few examples.

❥ Some astrologers say that BML does not affect physical appearance but in my experience, I have noticed a few common denominators which are listed below:

❥ Those with this placement usually have a darker appearance, even those with a lighter complexion/light colored eyes. The eyes may be darker in appearance due to the energy that BML exudes.

❥ May give a little bit of Neptunian energy if it’s conjunct in the 12th house (dreamy, ethereal. think siren energy).

❥ They may have darker colored hair & sometimes thicker hair (not always ofc, genetics matter).

❥ Regardless, they may have a darker aesthetic, wear black or darker colored clothes.

❥ If not the case, they are just attracted to styles & aesthetics that bring a sense of empowerment, liberation & control. Whether that’s dressing unconventionally, modestly or revealing. It can go either way.

❥ They may decide to dye their hair a darker color if their natural hair color is lighter. Also, those with the placement may even decide to dye their an unnatural color.

⚠️‼️TW: Mentions of sexual trauma/SA, depression, self-harm, ED’s. Please, take of yourself.‼️⚠️

———————————————————

❦ Personality & Struggles ❦

❥ If you have this placement you may have struggled with bullying, rejection, being overly sexualized or ridiculed and projected onto by others. People may view you as bitchy, arrogant & ruthless.

❥ You also naturally exude sex appeal regardless if you are trying to present yourself as such. This is especially tough if you have trauma surrounding sex & sexuality.

❥ This placement at its worst manifestation is in line with SA, coercion and manipulation by others or even towards others. Although, the native is usually on the receiving end of this.

❥ May also struggle with su!c!dal thoughts/ideation, addictions among other forms of self destruction.

❥ They also struggle with asserting themselves and setting boundaries due to fear of rejection, ridicule & hostility. People project a lot of their fears and anger onto to them.

❥ They also have a tendency to attract possessive, obsessive and controlling friends & partners that want to put them in a box.

❥ The more these people try to tame & control them, the more the people with this placement will want/feel the need to rebel.

❥ May have problems with women/feminine figures in their life.

❧ If they are a woman/feminine, other women/feminines may be envious/jealous of them and their captivating energy.

❧ Regardless of their sexual orientation they will most likely struggle with men/masculine figures over-sexualizing them, degrading them, disrespecting them, overstepping their boundaries & projecting their fantasies onto them.

❥ Especially if they have a Venus or Neptune ruled ascendant or if Venus and/or Neptune is prominent in their chart.

❥ Examples:

❧ Taurus/Libra Asc (Venus). Pisces Asc (modern ruler is Neptune, traditional ruler is Jupiter).

❧ Heavily aspected, on an angle (Asc, Dsc, IC, MC) or in an angular house (1st, 4th, 7th or 10th house). Especially Neptune as Neptune is the higher octave of Venus and it rules dreams & fantasies.

❧ Also, Mars & Pluto prominence: Scorpio Asc, Mars (traditional ruler) & Pluto heavily aspected, on an angle/in an angular house for control, manipulation, hostility and/or violence.

❥ These energies also apply to men/masculines as well but it may manifest a bit differently as stated below:

❧ If they are a straight man/masculine they may struggle with expectations and demands towards women. Especially in a partner.

❧ They may even have the tendency to be misogynistic. Alternatively, they may seek out feminine partners that defy traditional roles in relationships as they respect and admire that.

❥ Daddy issues are usually a thing with this placement, both in feminines and masculines. They struggle with expressing their feminine energy.

❥ As the ascendant/1st house deals with the physical body, they may have struggles with self image issues such as an eating disorder/ or general insecurities surrounding their appearance and body. Sometimes, this can manifest as physical health issues/disorders as well.

❥ Alternatively, the most positive manifestation of this placement is being obsessed with themselves and their appearance, in a positive way. Although, that too can turn toxic.

❥ Being a leader and paving the way for liberation & justice especially when it comes to femininity and sexuality.

❥ Not only that, they pave the way for others to express their authenticity and challenging social norms and what is deemed acceptable by society.

❥ In general, the native may become obsessed with cultivating a persona that they deem powerful & influential even though it may not fully align with who they actually are and what they want.

❥ They may even become obsessed with negative attention just as much as positive attention.

❥ “Haters make me famous.” “All press is good press.” & “The end justifies the means.” are mottos they may live by or at least inspires them.

———————————————————

❦ If you have this placement, a great way to harness this energy is following your authenticity. Standing up for yourself and what you believe in.

❦ Forms of self expression such as fashion, music, drawing or other forms of artistic expression will help to release any negative emotions and struggles you may be dealing with.

❦ Acceptance of one’s authenticity & facing your fears and inner demons is essential. The more you try to suppress who you really are, the more Lilith will challenge you.

❦ Don’t be afraid to seek therapy or talk to a loved one if that’s an option for you.

Hope you guys enjoyed this post. Let me know if it resonated and leave me suggestions for more posts!

[justwinginglife]

This Time, It's Different

Dedicated to the only person who will read this, my bestie @minasfwoopyponytail, yall I know I be doin Soshiro all the time, but I got on the Ranpo track cuz we were talking about Ranpo being in our top favs for BSD so I gotta show him some love today (I am so sorry that I bought Chuuya, Dazai, and Akutugawa merch and forgot about you Ranpo my love, this is my apology fic for you).

You were never good at lying. 

It was inconvenient in almost all aspects of your life, but you never thought your ineptitude would be the reason someone finally fell in love with you.

After many failed attempts at bending the truth, after attempting to tell your aunt you liked the socks she got for your birthday and instead unknowingly wrinkling your nose at them and breaking her heart, after attempting to tell your boss that you were busy and couldn’t come to work on a Saturday and when she asked follow up questions about your supposed plans you found yourself flushed and floundering, after attempting to tell your ex that you enjoyed meeting his family but then immediately declining any further interaction with them, after multiple awkward interactions and even more disastrous encounters, you decided to give up on lying. It wasn’t for you.

So you resigned yourself to the fact that you would have to tell nothing but the whole, honest truth for the rest of your life. Your lackluster lies may cause catastrophe otherwise. 

So when you joined up with the Armed Detective Agency, when you rejected Dazai’s advances by saying, “No offense Dazai, but I’m sure you say that to all the ladies, and while I’m flattered, I’m not into womanizers,” when you offered methods of stress relief to Kunikida because he “always looked like the world was ending,” when you asked when Furukawa would be retiring because you were concerned about him “overworking himself in his old age,” when half the detective agency was against you from your first day, Ranpo Edogawa found himself half in love with you already. 

He’d never met a person who didn’t -or just couldn’t- lie, even among his fellow coworkers, and he was at least intrigued by you if nothing else. He found himself eager to see just how far you were willing to go to continue telling the truth. 

Going forward, you often found him tagging along on missions with you, peeking over your shoulder while you worked, listening to everything intently, even despite your other coworkers telling you that Ranpo almost never went out of his way to be this personally invested in anything, just because he wanted to hear you talk, to see if you really told everyone everything you thought all the time. And to ask you questions. Lots of questions. 

Most of them were controversial because he wanted to see if you’d stick to your opinions even if you were in the minority, some of them were philosophical because he wanted to know the way your mind worked, and a few of them were just downright absurd because he was Ranpo. 

“Okay. So. You want to know if I would divert the trolley to save the lives of five by killing one?”

“Yes, and when you’re done with that, do you think that dress makes that girl’s butt look fat?”

“Mr. Edogawa, sir, I really don’t see how this is relevant to the case.”

“Oh it’s relevant, alright. Answer the question, I’m your superior and I wanna know.”

“Um. Alright. Well clearly it makes more logical sense to sacrifice the life of the one for the good of the many, just mathematically speaking, and yes, that dress is very unappealing on her, I don’t know why she went with white.” 

“Agreed, the white is hideous, you pass my tests. For now.”

And so this bizarre relationship of yours continued.

Ranpo would wait for you to finish up cases, would wait for you to finish in the bathroom, would wait for you to finish up dinner, just so he could pick your brain, just so he could amuse himself with your answers. But the more time he spent with you, the more his reason changed for spending the time. He was always attentive, had always had a keen eye, but when you were around, it seemed every last bit of his attention had devoted itself to you. He knew how long it took for you to finish going to the bathroom, so -much to your embarrassment- he always knew what you were doing in the bathroom depending on the length of time. He knew how long it took for you to eat and which foods took you longer amounts of time to eat them. He knew when it was your time of the month, he knew what you craved during said time, he knew the way you’d react when he brought you said craving. He knew almost everything about you and it still wasn’t enough. 

One day, he diverted from his usual barrage of insane questions and he started asking about you: what was your favorite food, where were you born, did you have any pets growing up, what did you like to do outside of work? By now, you had gathered from all his previous questions that he was just having fun interrogating you, but you enjoyed talking with him, so you answered all his questions regardless, personal or otherwise. You were unsure how telling him your favorite color was supposed to entertain him the way his usual ridiculous questions did, but you told him it was green anyway. He brought you a bundle of kiwis the next day because he couldn’t figure out what else was green to give you. You were unaware of the fruit’s connection to his question about your favorite color but to him, he’d pretty much just asked you out. 

When you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, because you were unaware he had feelings for you, and unaware he had just presented them to you through said kiwis, he pouted for the remainder of the day.

You couldn’t figure out why the man who had spent every waking second of your career with the ADA by your side had suddenly started avoiding you. You couldn’t figure it out, and it was killing you. Little did he know, you had also started memorizing details about him, and the way his laugh sounded, the way his lips curved into a smile, the way his fingers pushed up his glasses, the way he did anything and everything, the way he said anything and everything had you craving your next interaction before the previous one had even ended. And you couldn’t take the silence he had now forced you into. So you went on a hunt for him.

You found him sulking on the rooftop. 

You plopped down beside him without saying a word and when you could tell he might be preparing to run again, preparing to plunge your relationship into further silence, you handed him a Ramune. He froze. And then he snatched the drink out of your hand like it was just another Tuesday for the two of you.

“You remembered my favorite flavor, huh? Not too shabby for a second rate detective.” He chugged down the drink.

You laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. “If I’m such a second rate detective, how did I know you’d be on the roof?”

He shrugged. “Got lucky, I guess.”

You bit your lip and for the first time in years, considered lying. But you couldn’t do it. “Actually, I didn’t just ‘get lucky.’ I knew you’d be on the roof. You always come to the roof when you’re upset. I notice more than you think. So tell me- why are you upset?”

He sighed. “You’re not into me. No one’s ever into me.”

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

He sighed again, this time more exasperated. “I gave you a gift, but you didn’t accept my feelings.”

You blinked again. “The… kiwis?? Ranpo. You always give me gifts. You gave me strawberries during my last period even though Yosano told you to get me chocolate because you know I like fruits better than chocolate. You gave me limited edition tickets to a play that was already sold out because you’d preordered it when you heard me vaguely mention that I liked it. You are always giving me things, and they’re perfect, and I love it, and I appreciate it, but how was I supposed to know this time was something different?”

He tapped a finger on his chin. “Yeah okay fine. I see that now.”

You inched up closer to him. “So… this time is different though?”

He suddenly blushed. “Yeah… this time it’s different. This time I wanted… well I wanted…”

“Me?”

He’s suddenly quiet and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him like this. You’ve rendered him speechless and it’s impossible not to find it adorable.

You kiss him.

If he was speechless before, now he’s speechless and breathless.

“I just… you just…so we’re?”

You nod, smiling at him. “Yeah. We are.”

“We’re… together?” He squeaks out.

“I’d like us to be.”

He nods vigorously. “I-I’d like us to be too!” He blurts out.

You kiss him again and this time he savors the feeling of your lips melding with his. This time he kisses you back with fervor, with passion he never knew he could feel. This time, he’s all yours.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I am too lazy to write a longer fic that delves into their relationship after this, but I did want to write a lil drabble about it, so I will be posting it here.

[shreddedleopard]

Okay back on my bullshit and I need to talk about these —

This to me is a direct call back by Sherlock to Liam pre- William James Moriarty. Baby Liam, before he stained his hands with all that killing and stole the identity of another child. Can you see the way Sherlock gets down on his knee like that? Know what it reminds me of?

How you speak to a child on their level.

“You’ve taken your first step …”

Also feels very child-oriented to me. And painting an ideal future …?

Sherlock is appealing here to the boy who never was; the boy who never got the chance to grow up and learn about his true self …

“My own self …”

Liam’s entire life has been spent behind a mask. His whole existence was that of a ghost; the shell of a dead child. He never gave himself permission to consider who he truly was; him him, and not William Moriarty, because the old him had to die in that fire all those years ago. I cannot even begin to think about what that must feel like.

And then along came Sherlock Holmes, and with a simple look during a moment of rare honesty from Liam — his genuine, child-like inquisitiveness at the sight of that spiral staircase provoking a trait that was truly his — his love of mathematics — Sherlock was able to effortlessly reach out and take the hand of the person who existed behind the mask.

A mathematician: one of the most elementary aspects of Liam’s character, indeed. His love of mathematics shone long before he committed his first act of violence. To be judged so quickly and found not to be the devil, but just a man who loves numbers — that was a glimpse of his true self that he’d almost forgotten about, amidst the pressure of his plans on the Noahtic.

Sherlock is also, aside from Louis and Albert, the only person to my knowledge who is aware of Liam’s true name — and because it was Liam’s choice to gift that knowledge to him. Recalling that Liam believed he was about to die, him giving Sherlock the evidence of his birth, as he was truly originally supposed to be, feels like a painfully poignant and intimate gesture.

Even we, the readers, are not privy to that information. It’s granted only to Sherlock; a secret they share.

The theme of rebirth is very present in the climax of the story, and Liam even states in his letter that if only he could be born again, this time he thinks he and Sherlock would be true friends. It’s desperately sad that he can’t see at that point that he doesn’t need to be reborn to get back in touch with his old self, because he’s still there inside of him. Sherlock is the proof of that, because Sherlock hasn’t found a friend and, dare I say it, a soulmate in William Moriarty, or the Lord of Crime. Sherlock has found that connection with the man beneath the mask.

During the moment on the Thames, William James Moriarty did indeed die a second time. But this time it was so that Liam, as his true self, could re-emerge. This is why he suddenly sees all those colours again — that which was buried is now brought forth towards the light.

Another small point to make is the decision to have Sherlock use Liam almost immediately. It’s a name that feels a lot more removed from the identity of William Moriarty than for example, Will. It’s new and something that’s very much separate from the dead boy Liam embodies. It’s a tiny glimpse of the branch in identities beginning once again after years of suffering his sins in silence.

I could go on and on about all this. It’s probably just obvious stuff to most people. But god damn is it the most beautiful story of losing and finding oneself again, even in the darkest depths of despair, because someone cared enough to reach out a hand.

Might just be my favourite.

[ssahotchnerr]

hiii katie!! 🤭💞

you said domestic aaron requests so i thought i’d send you something that’s been on my mind all day! so when you see aaron you don’t really take him for a guy who would sing along to taylor swift songs, or watch romcoms or like idk know stuff about astrology…but then during conversations he drops facts related to these kinds of things and the team is like “how does he know that” LMFAOO but it’s all because his girl (you 🥰) educates him on the daily 🥰🥹🥺

- fay <3

rom coms

fay !!! AHH if y'all have seen how to lose a guy in 10 days i hope you enjoy this 🤭 cw; bau!reader, established relationship, playful fluffy banter <3

on the rare occasion a case finished early, and the jet wasn't scheduled to leave until the next morning, you'd all be stupid not to take advantage of a night out within a different, new city. somehow, this time, all of you had ended up at a basketball game, per derek's suggestion. and while it wasn't your usual scenery for team outings, the change of atmosphere was nice.

and the current setting gave you the opportunity to poke fun at aaron, which you would never deny, either.

as the clock neared the end of the game, you turned away from your conversation with jj.

"hey." you nudged aaron, getting his attention. he leaned down slightly closer, allowing you to speak more directly into his ear so he could hear you clearly. the crowd was loud, and you were also on the side of him consisting of his bad ear. "wanna get me a soda?"

there was a mischievous look on your face, while aaron's fell into his signature expression. however, there was a playful glint present in his eyes. he straightened up his posture before speaking. "very funny."

you feigned disappointment. "so... no?"

"nope."

"aaron pleaseeee." you jokingly whined, your hand clasping around his forearm and tugging on it gently.

"is this your way of telling me you want us to break up?" aaron arched an eyebrow, his lips pursed upwards as he attempted to hold back a smile.

you snorted out a laugh, rolling your eyes. "yeah, you got me there."

"well sweetheart, i think we're well past the ten day mark. so unfortunately for you, this tactic isn't going to work."

you opened your mouth to respond, but jj's voice came out instead.

"what did he just say?"

the team's undivided attention was present on the pair of you, nothing but quizzical, or slightly horrified (morgan), expressions on their faces. even spencer had ceased explaining all the mathematical aspects of basketball to dave.

"if you're asking, i think you heard me."

"yeah no i heard what you said, i just can't believe you're the one that said it." jj stated, bewilderment still present.

"contrary to popular belief, i don't live under a rock." aaron answered nonchalantly, loud enough for the whole team to hear. his hand also found your hip, giving it a squeeze.

he doesn't live under a rock, thanks to you.

"never knew you were into rom coms, aaron." dave pitched in. aaron simply shrugged his shoulders.

"next you're going to tell me the two of you have a love fern in your apartment." emily cackled which resulted in more laughter amongst everyone, but that dissolved as the conversation quickly came to an end; everyone's attention refocusing on the conclusion of the game.

and while you had full clearance to tease aaron, they knew better than to push their limits.

"hey, did you really want one?" after a moment, aaron's voice closely entered your ear this time, a softness to it. "because i will-"

"no, i don't." you interrupted him with a small laugh, pressing your lips to his cheek and looking up at him with all the love in the world. "you'll catch the end of the game, don't you worry."

[waxdream]

Ok so like, lineland was great fun in flatland. I always liked how the methods of "seeing"/awareness changed relative to dimensions. In point land, the king had no concept of sight, and considered all sound to be his own conciousness. This could be considered level one: no sight, no touch, poor hearing.

Lineland is heavily focused on hearing and singing, with it being the primary method of understanding your neighbours. The music from two mouths of a male linelander allows for their length to be determined after all. Touch is possible in this dimension, though like the line segments in flatland, it is lethal. So at level two, we have no sight, poor/lethal touch, and excellent hearing.

In Flatland we understand that the basic method of understanding is touch. I'm of the opinion that if the flatlanders evolved differently, they could theoretically perceive the way the linelanders do, however they just don't. Perhaps the addition of a new dimension is a problem here. Sight in Flatland is also learnable, but very hard. In my opinion, Abbot added these differences purposely, but I'll get to that in a minute. Level three has poor sight, excellent touch, and poor/no hearing (as a means of percieving the world around you).

Finally we have spaceland. Our own world, where we perceive primarily by sight and need a completely different method to get around in the event of blindness. So in my levelling system, we as humans don't often get around by hearing or touch, and have excellent sight.

I think this could be graphed as a curve if you really wanted to, but I think Abbot was possibly trying to reflect the changing of dimensions and how aspects of the next dimension are seen in the previous. This is a concept seen in mathematics after all, so tying a tool of flatland's classism (not teaching lower classes the skill of sight recognition) into this mathematical concept is rather elegant if you ask me. It's exactly the point of the book, to combine mathematics with social commentary, and I like that.

[she-who-seek-happiness]

For those who have ADHD and/or autism.

I wanna to do a test to see if I'm autistic, have ADHD, both or neither. For some reason I'm terrified of knowing the truth. Sorry if I sound offensive at some point, I'm just writing about myself and don't mean to be mean at any point.

ADHD, the name changed right? Gonna use this one because I'm writing this quickly. If I have ok, that'd explain why I'm so forgetful and nothing catches my attention unless I'm interested in the topic. And why is so hard to focus. And why I never finish my projects. But I'm not hyper active. I'm a pretty calm person, I can't reall5sit and focus for too long, but give me a hair elastic thing and I'll play with it for hours while listening to you. And I'll be able to actually listen.

Don't ask me to look in your eyes tho, I will. But only for 5 minutes if you are lucky.

My mom a lot for times aska me for things and I completely forget about them, things that are important and I feel bad for forgetting.

But all of this could simply be me and no ADHD. I don't know.

Autism

Frankly I don't think I have autism. But the reports are just so relatable it scares me a bit. I was bullied a lot during my childhood. I remember in the first grade, I tried hard to make friends but I never was able to. To this day I don't know why. Why people didn't like me? I have a timeline of events in my head of my entire life, things that happened when I was 2 y.o. but I don't have details. I don't remember if i did something or not to be not liked. The first school that my parents put me in I was there for a year. In this whole year I didn't make a single friend. I remember I asked my parents for help to do a lost of people who were and weren't my friends simply to try to uncover the reason for that. Is this a sign of autism? Idk. Maybe I'm just out of the norm, but not autistic. Doesn't seem like autism. Autism is something that affects your day to day, every day life. I'm not sure if I have signs everyday.

I have trouble socializing. I have trouble making friends. I have trouble maintaining friendship. But I can understand sarcasm, jokes and I'm able to tell when people are sad or uncomfortable. so there's goes signs that the internet sites gave me. Sometimes I do have troubles talking and truly understanding what my parents say. Not because they are complex, but because I don't get it. There are easier ways to do things and they won't for some alien reason.

I have trouble understanding relationships, in the sense what it means to be in, part of or the different aspects of relationship. People expect things. Sometimes it feels like mathematical equations on which I have to be constant aware of. I gave to do this to get to that. A lot of times I feel like I'm manipulating the few relationships that I have big I can't see another way.

Don't you dare change my routine. I'll be messed up and although not cry, I'll be very close to. Unless the change is "we are not going outside of the house anymore", sudden things messes my little planned time. At the same time I can't really organize myself very well.

I do have some subjects on which I'm very passionate about. But I'm no genius on them and although I'd love to, I can't keep going on them for hours and hours because, as said before I can't communicate very well. My social skills are terrible, I don't know what to say most of the time but I feel like I should.

I don't think I have autism. I don't think I have ADHD. I think I'm only different from other people but can't put my finger exactly on what exactly. I don't feel like I really fall into the spectrum because I lack the usual signs. But I don't know how much of this is stereotyping both those conditions.

[anjelicawrites]

Ma'am, I am in DIRE need of a full nsfw-alphabet for Michael gavey and I am living on CRUMBS from the few glimpses you gave to us

(Is there a possibility you can write a full one??)

Friend, I would never say no!!! Not when there's dire need involved!!!

(It probably came out more romantic that full on filthy, but that's the way the muse is these days).

NSFW Alphabet (Michael Gavey)

NSFW and 18+ only, thank you!

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Michael comes into the relationship a virgin, who has watched a lot of some porn and there's no aftercare in porn so, when you're done, the first time, he simply stands up to get water, without a word, you feel abandoned and almost cry as you gather your clothes. To his absolute surprise. You have to explain to him how you feel and, for five solid seconds, he looks like he's not getting it, before he realizes what a complete arse he's been and asks you to stay, and if he can hold you.

It is strange to him, this kind of intimacy, he feels more naked than when he's been intimate with you, but he's not uncomfortable and learning how to make you feel loved and cared for, comes naturally to him. He's realized he likes it, just to keep you in his arms, your hand caressing his skin as you breath him in, your legs intertwined as you both come down from your highs.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of their partner's)

Well, your brain of course! And those beautiful breasts that move in rhythm with his thrusts when he's fucking you and your cunt, always hungry and wet and warm for him. And your talented mouth, and your round ass. Basically all of you, he can't choose!!!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically.)

Sometimes you just go about your day with his cum all over your tummy or breasts, the mess covered by your conservative clothes: the idea that it's this secret you two are sharing, gives him an hard on and he has to run to the bathroom and masturbate furiously.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is quite the dominant guy in your relationship, he revels in the way you gift yourself and your submission to him; when you get a bit dominant yourself? Jesus the way his cock swells as he makes you submit again!

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

Zero. He's learning while he's doing it and he's a quick study (he can't use all that brain only for mathematics, right?). Since only practice makes perfect, he is all over you, the second you two are both done study for the day.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

He loves when you cock warm him while he's studying at his desk. Your cunt is so warm and wet and your breasts are ready for him to lick and suck, when he needs to pause from studying. Knowing that he gets to fuck you senseless once he's finished, gives him the boost he needs to power through his program for the day.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I can't see him as someone who is goofy during the act. He's leaning how to make you feel good, he's taking the job very seriously! But, he likes when you laugh during sex, it shows him he's doing good an you're having the time of your life.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes.

Even though he doesn't really care about his appearance, he's always tried to take good care of himself so, he's not totally shaved, but well groomed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

He's pretty dominant, even when the mood is romantic and sweet, he's the one in control. You're under his watchful eye, because he needs to learn you and your pleasure, so that he can drive you crazy with just a touch.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Michel knows he's smarter than most and that he's the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. He also knows he's different from the vast majority of his peers, and yours, and that makes him feel insecure, whenever someone who is conventionally pretty hits on you. He knows you'll never cheat on him, but you always parade around with hickeys on your neck, after that happens, so that it's known that you're spoken for.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) 

Intelligence kink and competency kink. You explaining to him something you've been studying or showing him how good you are at something, gives him an instant hard on. You begging prettily for his cock, tears forming at the corners of your eyes, tongue lolling out, mouth open and ready for the taking, is another big kink of his. Taking you to your limits is another kink he has: how much pain, how much pleasure can you take? Can you come for him for another time? He knows it's becoming too much, yet, will you be good and come again? Is there a kink where your partner being a brat turns you on? Because he has it!

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He doesn't have a favorite place. He surely dreams to make love to you in a huge bed, without having to fear that his, or your, roommate might barge in during the act.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

You being smart, you being a brat, you innocently touching him, you breathing in his direction. He's a young man, full of hormones, who has just discovered sex. The only reason you two aren't having sex 24/7, is that you two care about your academic career too much to risk it!

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Anything that might put you at risk, either physically or mentally. He's the dominant one but you're the one with the reins in the relationship.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

With him being a virgin, it has been a learning curve. He used to be absolutely useless at it, he was way too harsh, now he knows how to make you beg with gentle licks, your cunt firmly set against his face, his fingers gently exploring your hole, pushing against your G spot, until you come all over his face (and he's the happiest man in the world when he manages to make you squirt).

He never says no to you sucking him off. He loves your mouth, loves the way you know his body and play it like a fine tuned instrument. Loves that your brilliant brain is turned to absolute mush, when you pleasure him, all your being focusing on making him feel good.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends. Sometimes he needs to just feel you, to take his time and simply be with you, shower you with his love, until you both drained and trembling in each other's arms. Other times it's just passion and lust, clothes roughly removed, nails racking down skin, his cock roughly pushing against your G spot, his hips grinding against yours, your pussy spanked raw. It just depends.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not against it. Sometimes the hunger is too big, the time you two have too little, to do anything but hide somewhere and be quick.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

You two live basically at the library and both have roommates, you two have to take risks, in order to be intimate! More than once you two had hidden in the furthest, more hidden corner of one of the libraries and made love there. It gives him a kick, the risk of being discovered!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Michael is full of hormones to the brink. He can go for multiple rounds and now he can last longer than he used to when you two started have sex. More than once he's surprised you by coming and staying hard, as if he hadn't come at all. He's hungry for you, are you ready to be devoured?

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's trying to save money to buy some, for the time being, he's very creative with what he has at hand.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves teasing you, seeing how frustrated you become with his antics, the way you would start to beg, the small tears at the corner of your eyes, the high pitch in your voice: everything gives him an hard on. He loves pushing you, when he's punishing you, so that you might make a mistake and he can spank your pussy raw and revel in the sweet sounds you make.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He loves dirty talking and debasing you until you cry. While he fucks you, there's this stream of filth flowing directly into your ear that makes your cunt clench around his cock. He whimpers, his face hidden against your neck when he comes, desperate sounds of pleasure he tries to hide and that make you go wild.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Your Michael loves and respects you. He can't wait to see how you're going to revolutionize your field of study, but he has this dream of keeping you at home, no clothes, a toy inside of you, always wet and ready for him. It's one of his best fantasies to masturbate to.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's well endowed, both in girth and lenght. The first time you see him naked, you are left with your mouth open: you didn't expect this lanky nerd to have that thing between his legs, not that you're complaining!!!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Embarrassingly so. Before you, he would masturbate regularly. Now that you are in his life, he needs you constantly. You're like a drug, whenever you two can't be together, he feels like he's in full on withdrawal. Your absence makes him desperate.

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He would fall asleep immediately but, after the first time aftercare went so disastrously wrong, he makes a point to stay awake, until you fall asleep. Only then he curls around you and lets go, hugging you tight.

[mallgothyamaguchi]

what haikyuu characters would major in at My College™ -karasuno edition!-

it is summer i am not at my institution of learning but i thought this would be fun ! we have some quirky majors and everyone is a double major or has a major and a minor… very rare for someone to just major in one thing lol

daichi - oh he’s definitely political science and political economy and public policy, perhaps on the pre-law track. also would consider public health (haha that’s my major!) major or minor with a focus in public safety or workplace health

sugawara - suga is so psychology major on the education track (we don’t have an education major, but we do have the track and a graduate program)

asahi - unfortunately my school doesn’t have fashion design, however, we do have a large theatre program with a subcategory in stage management, design & technical theatre and i think he’d like the costume design aspect. another area i could see him in is studio art or art history. definitely intertwined with the art department :)

nishinoya - hot take maybe but anthropology and definitely international studies! i think he’d also fight the school to go abroad multiple times

tanaka - might be a different take but i think he’d start out as business administration or finance because he didn’t really know what he wanted to do, but then he took a random sociology course for a credit and fell in love with it, leading to a double major

ennoshita - this man is so obviously biology on the pre-med track, mr. physical therapist

kinoshita - business administration i can feel it in my bones,,, with a sustainability studies minor

narita - another business administration guy, but i would consider adding in finance major or the innovation and entrepreneurship minor

kageyama - ooo i get to have fun with this one! i could totally see him as a media & communications major or a sociology major for the analysis purposes (i think after his volleyball career he’d become a sports journalist or analyst) and for where he ends up in present day, i grant him an italian studies minor

hinata - i get to have fun with hinata too! he’s sooo definitely on the education track (he’s a great teacher), but with particular majors i can see him in international studies or media & communication (more the latter, kind of for the same reasons as kageyama) and a minor in latin american and caribbean studies!

tsukishima - oh this is so easy. double history and accounting major (he wanted something practical mixed in with his passion), and an analytics minor

yamaguchi - my boy! i think he’d take an interdisciplinary approach to mathematics with a focus in business and technology (perhaps a computer science minor?), but there’s also sustainability studies and information systems management incorporated in his degree somehow :)

kiyoko - i’m heading way off from canon, but i totally think she’s on the pre-med track with a biochemistry major looking to pursue a medical leadership certificate or graduate degree. it just feels right to me.

yachi - babygirl is so vibing in the studio arts major, but for practical application she’s also majoring/minoring in media & communications. can’t convince me otherwise that she’s a women and gender studies minor.

this was so much fun!!! i’m definitely going to be expanding upon this universe, since i already have a bunch of ideas lingering in my head. next, i’ll be doing other secondary characters’ majors and minors !

[talonabraxas]

“In each of us there is another whom we do not know. He speaks to us in dreams and tells us how differently he sees us from the way we see ourselves.” — Carl Jung

Pyramid of Ascension Talon Abraxas

The pyramids are not only architectural marvels but also repositories of deep mathematical and geometric knowledge that continue to intrigue us. One fascinating aspect is how the ratios of 3/4 and 3/1 appear to be embedded within their design and proportions.

3/4 and the Pyramid's Proportions

When studying the pyramids, particularly the Great Pyramid of Giza, we find that the ratio of 3/4 can be observed in various ways. For instance, if you consider the pyramid's height and the length of the base's side, you might discover that the side length of the base relates to the pyramid's height in a 3/4 ratio. The interesting thing about this ratio is that when you divide 3 by 4, it results in an exact division without decimals, indicating a precise and intentional design. This relationship reflects a harmony that recurs in nature and mathematics, where ratios often represent the balance between different elements.

3/1 and the Pyramid's Angles

Similarly, the 3/1 ratio can be found in the pyramid's angles and the height relative to certain other dimensions. The 3/1 ratio, for example, can be observed in the relationship between the pyramid's total height and the height at which the sloping surface intersects an imagined horizontal line inside the structure. This relationship may also reflect certain geometric principles regarding the distribution of forces and the stability of the structure.

Pi and the Secrets of the Pyramids

Beyond these proportions, it's also noteworthy that the number π (Pi) is often associated with the design of the pyramids. Several researchers and theorists have pointed out that if you divide the pyramid's perimeter by its height, you obtain a number very close to 2π. This suggests that the ancient Egyptians might have understood and utilized this irrational number long before it was formally defined, making the pyramids possible sources for our modern understanding of π.

The Symbolism of Thirds

The exactness and observability of both 3/4 and 3/1 ratios in the pyramids suggest that the ancient Egyptians had a profound understanding of these proportions and their significance. The numbers three and four, as well as their combinations, hold symbolic meaning in many cultures, and their precise divisibility could reflect an awareness of how these relationships function in both practical and spiritual contexts.

Thus, the pyramids are not just masterpieces of engineering but also manifestations of a deep mathematical and geometric understanding. The ratios of 3/4 and 3/1, along with the mysterious number π, are examples of how these ancient monuments can be seen as encoded representations of universal truths, continuing to influence our understanding of mathematics and architecture even today.