#Thankfully it started raining and don't you dare let kids get cold from being in the rain at night that's just ridiculous | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

buttercupshands · 2 months ago

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Thinking about what happened in the summer

Kids are... Really different when it comes to spending three weeks without their parents

Some start crying near the end of first day

Some start crying after couple of days

And some don't show anything while feeling the same

And being... I think English has a good word for that, let's go with a teacher but mix it with caretaker a little bit

I think seeing a kid cry at the end of that first day finally short circuited my brain, teens are way harder to understand that pre-teens who are literally still kids

They come around after a week, settle down and find new friends and your job stays the same mostly to be the one controlling their behavior

And then you'd have a kid crying again, because they miss home and the only thing you can really do is comfort them that they're not stuck here forever and that time flows so fast they won't notice it

And maybe they didn't. Time really did flew and they were leaving

Parents visited kids sometimes, of course, and it was so scary at first but they were mostly friendly and nice

Maybe because of that group chat that let them see that their kids are fine and are having fun

In the end for kids it was painful at first, but fun in the end. I got hugged more times than I could count when they were all leaving

And then poof

Back to your own life you go, like nothing happened

#not art #irl stuff #some thoughts #Every time I tried mixing my 'usual' behavior with the one I had back in the camp it felt like adding acid into water in the wrong order #Because it didn't feel right and it felt right at the same time #Like I just suddenly got a brand new way of behavior all together and it was so different that I stopped recognizing myself #Literally I'd work all day without much of a thought head full of WHERE EVERYONE IS ARE THEY SAFE??? And then at break near night go 'huh'#And at first I tried desperately to catch the usual behavior and bring it back on the break #And it never led to anything good because I'm supposed to be fully like in daytime 24/7 #I did that one sketch of silly guys to just keep at least something in my head aside from being fully aware 24/7 of every passing second #I still don't know if I miss that or not #It felt so nice to not feel like I have no goal in mind anymore #A goal of 'get to the end of this with all of the kids fine and safe' without ever swearing or making them feel threatened was... Exhaustin #I never became some super sweet person to know so I did what I knew best - talked a lot telling about the things they liked #And if a kid is curious being interesting by telling stories that they didn't know about the things they liked is a way to be liked #Most of them probably forgot about me existing there but some probably didn't and would return next year again #Honestly I don't know why I failed so many exams when becoming a teacher is the only thing that makes me truly happy now #And super tired because THAT'S WORK and it's exhausting as hell some kids love to fight and you need all your diplomacy to work with it #Maybe that's just me missing my time with siblings when they were little I didn't get much time being a good elder sibling to them #I can't associate this work with becoming a parent for a month because I'm still not so different from those kids #Like... I've literally have been told by older kids that they mistook me for a teen like them #Excuse you but I'm like 7 years older than that #It was funny tho because I was considered a bit closer to them all instead of being a big bad grown-up #Yet some kids despised me because of that in the first group because welp not being an authority figure sucks #That being my first job sucks even more because I had no idea about the unspoken rules while everyone had aside from me and mom #Second try was way better because I knew exactly what I had to do even if I was terrible at making us participate in dances and songs #Thankfully it started raining and don't you dare let kids get cold from being in the rain at night that's just ridiculous #So it was like we had a slumber party with me letting them watch GF on my laptop and read some comics #It was way better than being forced to look at the other groups winning all over again. Kids disliked losing so many times in a row #And in the end the things we planned weren't exactly enough but when they were kids were happy and I was happy because we put so much effor

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