#Thank you horrible histories

[squeeze-the-lemon]

When your history teacher thinks she's funny and makes the same joke when talking about 1381 Peasants Revolt.

Me: ...led by Wat Tyler

Her: What?

Me: Exactly

I KNOW WHAT YOURE UP TO DONT THINK I DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING TO DO

[piowasthere]

THEY'RE CANON ASGREASIOAD-

u may not be able to tell, but i am extremely happy bc of this occurrence.

they're r gonna be the most awkward, wholesome pair ever, and i am all in for it.

[EP: Lunar TRIES AGAIN With Gemini In VRChat(LAES)]

[kindercelery]

Oh yeah chat we’re so back

[gaiusjuliuscaesar]

Hi my name is Marcus Licinius Crassus and no rich man could ever surpass-us(that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Pentheus from the Bacchae (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I wanted people to say I was brave but lost my first fight and hid in a cave. Living here would be a pauper’s nightmare but if you’re rich like me then you don’t care. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. These Romans think they’re minted but they ain’t rich like me (you can’t call yourself loaded until you can buy an army). I ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar they’re more famous than me. But I’m the world’s richest geezer there’s no one richer than me

[thatonegeekygirl]

puppet history is like nectar of the gods for me cause its literally horrible histories for adults. horrible histories was my childhood, i loved the fuck out of that show, i sang the songs over and over again, i quoted the facts i learned watching it at any opportunity. and now i sing the crazed songs and recount the mind-bending facts from puppet history with just as much gusto. thank you shane madej for making the worthy spiritual successor of the best goddamn kids history show i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. i mean CMON THE RAT AND THE PROF WOULD BE BESTIES ARE YOU KIDDING ME--

[animatedhh-shenanigans]

PLEASE LET ME DROP AN ANVIL ON LOSSIF I LOVE HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME ANVIL HIM

Whistle sfx

[parttimesarah]

Tank you very much, internet. I’m done for the day 🫠

[malifiquemakes]

Sooo @badninken has infected me with the Blade of the Immortal brainworms and I spent my vacation day smashing out a fic. No regrets!

This one's a lot darker than my usual, please check the tags and curate your own experience.

Read it here <3

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

[the--quotifyer--innit]

Modern!BBC Ghosts! AU

Robin-Guitarist. Bisexual. You have to earn his trust, and he is often overly cautious about new people. Friendly, but at the same time kinda shy. Like cacti, and chicken salad. Hates thunderstorms, they cause panic attacks.

Captain- He's a History professor at a college actually. Very passionate about his subject and can go on for hours. Gay, childhood PTSD, loves dogs and talking about War, hates loud noises like fireworks, balloons popping, etc.

Fanny- A manners etiquette teacher for children. Not married, and doesn't plan to be. Was engaged at some point, but caught her fiance cheating the night before the wedding, drunk at a party. She likes good manners and scones (with raspberry jam & tea, of course. She's not an animal.) Hates, bad manners, and spicy foods.

Humphrey- He's a lawyer. Engaged, with his husband-to-be, and has two pet cats, Lady and Knight. He doesn't drink coffee but is very much a tea person, thank you. He likes animals and painting, but it is more of a hobby, and hates untidiness, car alarms, and Mondays.

Part 2??

[lifedistractions]

What if there was character swap episode of Ghosts and Ben got to play Robin? Who would play Cap, etc.?

[spineless-lobster]

I’m honour of talk like a pirate day and martha’s brithday have some pirate!martha (my actual wife btw <333)

[normalties]

another day of losing my mind over how fine this man is

[baynton]

favourite horrible histories songs: mat edition 5/? ➜ the original tu-tu-tudor.

[bison-appreciation-club]

america/turtle island fucking lost out when they named their country after a fucking italian guy instead of sticking with turtle island

[lunasohma]

chomp!

[ ao3 / ff.net ]

Filming a Halloween special has taken over Natori’s dreamscape.

—

"How would you like to be trapped in eternity with me?"

"…Trapped, you say."

"Well, I'm trapped. But if we were together, wouldn't that be better?"

It is far too late at night for this.

"Now, what do you say?" Seiji’s fingertips start to smoke where he’s holding the doorframe.

Shuuichi brushes them away none too gently and shuts the door firmly.

He hasn't invited that eye-patched creature of the night in, and right now, it's going to stay that way.

—

Being stalked by a vampire is more of a chore than anything else. He’ll conveniently forget his parasol (again? really?) to bully Shuuichi for his hat. Then all the while, he’ll grumble about its unfashionable qualities.

“Just give it back already.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

Shuuichi scoffs. “If only. I know it’s not so bad.”

For Seiji, it seems that the sun is but an inconvenience. But he does have a special sunblock. He often forgets that too.

“How nice. You do notice things about me.” Smugly as ever.

He tries again. “So, can I have my—”

And another thing:

Shuuichi watches his hat take off through the sky, carried away by a bat.

After the first few times, the novelty has worn off. But it’s still kind of amazing.

—

“Who let you in here?”

“Not telling.” Seiji’s smile is as sharp as a knife. Shuuichi had to turn around to see it. The fact of the mirror is especially disconcerting.

“But I’ll have to send them something nice. What do you think? Flowers? Sweets?”

“I’ll burn them.”

“A threat?” He sounds far too delighted at the prospect.

“If you’d like.” Because he’s curious.

“You know what I’d really like…” Seiji leans into his space, crowding him against the vanity. Shuuichi steels himself. Seiji’s fingers brush his throat—whisper-soft, though the cold still bites.

“Won’t you join me?”

Outside, someone calls for him.

“I can’t.”

“You’re no fun.” He steps back and Shuuichi feels his heart rate return to normal.

But Seiji’s smile is one of self-satisfaction, as if he knows it’s only a matter of time before his victory is assured.

Would it be so bad? The thought worms its way into Shuuichi’s mind. He can’t quite shake it out.

He locks Seiji in the dressing room. It’s only temporary. After all, a locked room is nothing to a vampire.

.

.

.

“What a fevered mind you have, Shuuichi.”

“…Quiet, you.”

“Of course, I am more than happy to make your dreams come true,” Seiji purrs. His teeth—were his canines always so sharp?—find Shuuichi’s jugular to a resounding yelp.

And then, well—

Matters progress.